#with the potential negative feelings they provoke

[terresdebrume]

Anyway, I guess now is a good time to remind myself not to go on fandom confession blogs x)

[gavisimmaculaterizz]

bb can u write something like jude coming home from practice and being angry, mad or something, and just storming off in his room, and later on (female) reader falls asleep on the couch teary eyed bcz she doesn't know what she did wrong

— bother / jude bellingham.

summary: jude cant hold in his anger from losing his match, resulting in a distant jude.

warnings: a bit of angst ??

masterlist

as the final whistle blew, distant whistles and boos came from the santiago bernabéu. the night in madrid was cold, the huge loss of the white giants filled the madrid air with coldness. as fans exited the stadium, jude proceeded to go to the locker room furious. he couldn’t help but feel anger, not being able to help his team out with at least scoring a goal. he disappointed the fans, maybe even his girlfriend. he mentally cursed himself out for not showing his potential, preparing for the hate he’d get on twitter by fellow madridistas.

meanwhile at the comfort of your shared apartment, you couldn’t help but feel a bit of sadness watching your boyfriends team lose heavily. you turned off the television, feeling sadness wash over you, over the terrible result in the bernabéu that just happened moments ago. you hated seeing your boyfriend sad, knowing these type of losses affected him heavily.

a couple hours later, the noise of bags falling echoed around the silent home. you ran to jude, excited to hug him and welcome him in. when reaching the tall british, you were welcomed with a cold and distant jude. “hey babe how was your game?”, you asked your boyfriend. upon your question, jude’s facial expression changed heavily. “what do you mean how was my game? did you even pay attention to what just happened?”,he asked furiously. his words hit you like a cold dagger that was plummeted into your heart, dry and distant, with a hint of anger still lingering in his voice. “do you want to talk about it?”, you asked trying to console your boyfriend. his words broke you, all you tried to do was ask if his game went okay, even though you’d know what his response would be. “no, god just leave me alone— you’re such a bother y/n.”, jude stated furiously. he quickly stormed off to your shared room, shutting the door loudly, letting you know to not even step foot into the room. your heart broke, you couldn’t contain your tears anymore.

you ran to your living room in tears, only seeing blurriness, and tasting the saltiness water streaming down your face. you mentally cursed yourself out feeling guilty for making him angry, even though it was not your fault at all. you knew he was a bit pissed off from his game still , but you never meant to provoke him even more than he was. you laid down on your sofa, grabbing a blanket and covering yourself completely. you wanted to give him space, let him cool down a bit.

meanwhile in your little bubble, your thoughts raced, ‘was it my fault for making him angry?’ you kept sobbing, overloading yourself with these negative thoughts. you let yourself cry until you couldn’t anymore. all you let out were heavy breaths which occupied the quiet home. with all the crying, it made you sleepy, and you couldn’t help but doze off into the night sky. you would soon be awaiting your boyfriends apology in the morning.

but was he right about you being a bother..?

a/n: i kind of tweaked it a bit anon!! also this is my first fic so im mentally cringing at myself bc im not used to this 🙁, so i hope yall like it

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading trigun in japanese 3 - "weirdo" and vash's pronoun switching

disclaimer: my jp reading posts are all for triangulation purposes and nothing else. scanlating mangas is tough work. @-@ i know this.

"Weirdo"

the word 'weirdo' in 2024 english carries connotations of neutral-bad or positive depending on the context of the speaker. depending on how one curates their internet space, weirdo often leans more positively with the same meaning as eccentric, but not always.

however, but in JP, "weird" is more specific and often negative. there's the well known, hentai 変態 (ie. deviant, pervert, freak, extremely negative in tone), and in this case, kimochi warui 気持ち悪い (gross, off-putting, bad vibes). eccentrics are more as 変人 henjin and carries a more neutral tone.

in this panel here papa nebreska uses 気持ち悪い in katakana キモチワルイ in reaction to vash busting his ass saving people and putting out of harms' way. vash's vibes are so off putting to this wanted man he's actually creeped out.

this is particularly interesting to me bc the english translation didn't end up portraying how utterly weird vash's mindset is fully. it wasnt until wolfwood points out how flawed vash's pacifist mindset do i get a proper frame of reference of norms in this world, but i might be having skill issues in english comprehension. ;w;

Pronoun switching

quick. 俺 Ore! 僕 Boku! 私 Watashi! they all mean "I", and there's 2 spectrum of expressions going on here thats commonly believed. 1st being Masculinity to Femininity. what's the 2nd?

the answer is... Rudeness/Assertiveness to Politeness. and gosh does vash switch a lot between Boku and Ore in the first 4 chapters of this manga lmao.

(to be clear, while i am aware of trans hc thats very popular in the fandom, im not at all diminishing or talking about gender expression specifically. im talking about what vash is presenting himself as in context.)

so to perhaps oversimplify this, in JP the idea of politeness and hierarchy is so super duper important, its very built into the language itself. and Japanese is a very high context language. if someone of a higher or equal standing uses "Ore", its totally fine. but if someone of a lower standing uses "Ore", they've committed a social faux pas.

as an obvious example, if a fresh new employee approaches his Boss with "Ore", he's potentially getting dressing down in the company. maybe in front of his coworkers. if this employee forgoes polite speech (keigo) and uses a too Assertive and Casual speech, they've Really Fucked Up and are one foot out the door.

this is also tied up in gender to some extent, hence why girls using Ore is incredibly uncommon, but guys would use Watashi in certain contexts such as talking to their Boss. (woo woo the forces of hierarchy/patriarchy... or something.)

so. vash switches his pronouns for the same effect. when he uses Ore, he's making himself sound more assertive and confident. when he uses Boku, he's often making himself sound less threatening, smaller, open, and trying to avoid conflict.

sound familiar?

bc if you translated all of that into a character design instead of relying on just jp pronouns, we'd get TriStamp Vash.

slight spoilers, but this is even true in one of the tensest moments between vash and wolfwood, where the latter provokes vash and tears into his pacifism ideology. vash sticks with boku in this scene as he says his piece.

if he ever uses watashi, it's bc he wants to be polite straight out of the gate with an air of formality. (this is japanese manners and the proper approach to talking to strangers. mainly to get a feel for each others standing without offense until context changes.)

i also wanna point out maybe something obvious here but.

real life pronoun switching in japanese is a COMMON thing. no one ever really sticks to 1 pronoun bc of Good Manners and the aforementioned hierarchical systems in place. it is only mostly in anime/manga and video games where characters overly prefer 1 due to this being a good shorthand for characterization. this being how rude or polite they are, and in some cases, Gender.

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

still fucked up? here's a pick a pile reading.

pile 1. pile 2. pile 3.

a pick a pile reading inspired on sundays being the longest and most tedious day of the week. i never know what to do on a sunday other than overthinking and feeling sort of gloomy.

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· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · Pile 1 · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Honestly, I really dig this combination of cards. I feel like this Page of Wands is asking you to take a different approach when thinking of success. It's clear that you value material and spiritual achievements equally, but you see them as something that's too far away from your reality. I think that it is very important to recognize that you are guarded by energies that match your ambitions, and you are doing things right to become the person you wish to be. 

Other than that, it is also relevant to think of the dissonances and miscommunications that can cause you trouble when trying to face any obstacles in your journey. The Emperor and The High Priestess are both equally strong in their own ways. Both of these energies are present in your life, and they happen to be complete polar opposites, the peak of male energy and the peak of female energy. Balancing both with every step you take is difficult, therefore it's understandable if you choose to focus on one or another depending on the moment. Ideally, these two should be able to communicate with one another, so you don't betray the nature of one taking actions more suitable to the other. 

In order to do this, I'd say that it's a great moment to look at the world with child-like eyes; allow yourself to be amused and ruled by curiosity, enrich your life with first time experiences and find joy in spaces where your creativity is nurtured. Don't assume that your learning years are over. 

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · Pile 2 · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Okay, this is a tough one. Stay strong bestie. So… Clearly that Ten of Swords is about something in your head that has caused major negative impacts on your life. I wouldn't say it's mostly about emotional distress by itself, but instead I think it's more about the prevalence of dysfunctional thought processing patterns that are being ignored or mishandled in the social and emotional parts of your life. It seems that a deep understanding of your own sensitivity hasn't been enough to cope with this. 

But, it's not all bad, as the presence of both Kings, Wands and Cups, show me that the maturity and strength is there, what's lacking tho, is a more solid sense of trust on the logic presented by sources outside your own head. Feeling trapped and buried by your own thoughts, it's common enough that you can share them with trusted ones surrounding you in order to appease feelings of doubt and desperation. 

This combination of cards shows me that you have the capacity to move from this thought provoked stagnation, to move from a mental eco chamber of negativity. To accomplish this you should aim to build more solid relations based on nurturing each other's potential and emotional strength. Don't be doubtful when taking the first steps towards what you already know you can do for bettering yourself and others. Stop being confident in negative thoughts and begin being confident in positive ones, even if you need help beginning to do so. 

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · Pile 3 · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Well, one is not bad but it’s not that good either. I think the main topic of this spread is to remain cautious when material success is achieved, in order to not cause yourself emotional and spiritual harm. Sometimes our material achievements can be directly related to spiritual growth, yet, we can not deny that the energy we spend on creating success for ourselves is just as valuable as the energy we spend on our spiritual journeys. In this case, the Seven of Pentacles shows me that your sense of purpose, in resonance with patience and determination, will bring great satisfaction as long as you take time to reflect and rest from the hard work. 

Nonetheless, be careful with who you choose to be generous with. There’s nothing wrong with providing a helping hand, but make sure that those who receive it understand the value of your hard work and are not there to deceit you by playing victims. Keep an eye on anything that is causing you doubts on your enterprises, and do not fool yourself with ideas and proposals that come from unrealistic perspectives. This is a great moment to reflect on the ways your energy is being received by others. The main priority should be your well being and your stability first. You can’t give to others if you can’t provide for yourself.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · FIN · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

hey there, im gigi i did this tarot thing, hii. hope this was at least fun to read i guess? im just chilling with the cards and writing. thinking about making a introduction post but then idk... like i love this blog and i love tumblr so im like ayyy i get to practice my english and get back into tarot? slay. like i swear

im kinda rusty with tarot's rn but hopefully eventually I'll get back on it like i used to so i guess that if someone wants to follow me in case i open my questions inbox to answer questions with the cards and stuff that could be nice.

ugh and im also putting together a nicer space for the readings, my desk is full of paint stains (my normal job is art related lol) and there's always a university thing peaking from the side of my desk, it's like my notes are watching me while i kinda ignore them...

anyways i got like 40 notes on my first post, soooo thaaaanks omg i was so like nervous about it i hate that im this kinda shy to post tarot content anynomously like wtf how can i be like that when im posting nasty thirst traps on my personal instagram with no context?? the duality of women i guess. okay this is too much venting

bye thanks for reading, stay bad, stay focused, might post a card of the week PAC reading later seee yaaaa love yaaa

｡ ﾟ ꒰ঌ ✦MASTERPOST & PAID SERVICES ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

If Chase and First were students at Norrisville High and First became the ninja, then Chase found out, what do you think would happen? What would their relationship have been before and what would it be after Chase finds out?

OHOHOHOO OK that would actually make such an interesting AU!!!

Oh man, oh man so many possibilities, but I just can imagine it like this:

First and Chase are sort of sports rivals of the school, and Chase is sort of a bully type of rival, constantly trying to provoke the new student First to some sort of test of skills. Chase just gives off that vibe of popular jock, that is a big deal in school and everyone adores him (but he is acting chill outward, while inward he is loving all the attention because he believes he deserves it - he's got a big head about it like Omi lol), so when he sees the more reserved First who is clearly a hidden gem that not many pay attention to and that First in turn really doesn't care about popularity and more importantly how popular Chase is, he just gets so ticked off he starts to bug First. But their relationship is more of tentative friends/respecting rivals, with Chase unknowingly developing a crush on First and First is just constantly wondering why is Chase wasting his time on him, when First is just trying to quietly get through high school.

SO! When First becomes a Ninja (btw I imagine its more like a reincarnation trope - where First actually came back from his previous life/is descendand of the 'First' in this AU) he is now forced to get into spotlight as this mythical protector, which is absolutely NOT how First imagined his hs experience! And as the result, he starts to get less free time for many other things, which includes his rivalrly (however one-sided) with Chase. Which in turn would kinda freak Chase out, because his best friends (Guan, Dashi and sorta Wuya?) seem to already distancing themselves from teenagish hs life, and he is starting to feel left behind (we all know it wass canon!good!Chase's biggest insecurities) AND now his rival/crush is starting to avoid him for some mysterious reason?? Chase would be tittering on a brink of some big decisions there.

And well, here is where the idea have a couple alternatives that I like:

Scenario 1) - Chase, by spying on First, manages to find out about First being a Ninja, and it will piss him off. Because how is he supposed to be rivals with someone's with supernatural powers?? So he will start to resent First, which would turn into fighting with/outright bullying First. But at the root of all that would be the hurt Chase is feeling over the fact that he could never rival someone with mystical powers and that he would now never be First's equal. The situation would only escalate, when dark forces (Either Sorcerer or someone Heylin), feeling all the negative turbulent emotions in Chase will try to offer him dark powers (either he will turn into a monster through chaos or an underling (like McFist) through other means) and he accepts it because it will give him a chance to be equals with First and a true rival, and it will give him something more in the percieved distancing of his best friends. A lot of dramatic rivals-to-enemies-to-lovers trope moments here!!

Scenario 2) - is where we bring the mix of Xiaolin Showdown canon - which is where coincedentally to First becoming a Ninja, Chase is also discovering new power in himself - the potential of becoming a Xiaolin Dragon. Just like the monks in the show who started to show signs of supernatural powers as his martial skills improved. But instead of being found by Xiaolin and offered a chance at the temple, Heylin found him first! It could be a Hannibal Roy Bean, who discovered presence of an untapped potential in Chase, and using the opportunity he starts to poison Chase's mind about all the same insecurities as in Scenario 1, about his friends and more importantly First. Roy could reveal that First now have an unfair disadvantage in their rivalrly, and that he was getting too far away from Chase, which in turn would push Chase to embrace evil! But instead of being a lackey like in Scenario 1 - he becomes a fuly fledge villain and rival of Ninja, going by a secret villain identity (perhaps the Dragon???).

(As you noticed, I tend to make them rivals/on opposite sides for both scenarios, but that's because i like the tension and angst and drama this trope can provide! xD )

In general I like Scenario 2 more, because it keeps the more equal footing I like to create in this ship. But also because it gives more opportunity for angsty redemption of corrupted Chase, and a couple romantic opportunities! Ngl, I keep imagining a scene, where at the end, where through their combined efforts (and power of love lol) First and Chase free Chase of Roy Bean's influence and corruption, and Chase is offerend to ' be cleansed' and redeem himself at the Xiaolin Temple - which in turn would mean leaving for an unknown amount of time. And they are just standing there in front of each other, both still beat up and hurting physically, but also emotionally because over all the turmoils and trials, they realized that they actually do want to be together but now Chase has to leave and First can't follow to support him because he is stil the Ninja. And then Chase smirks and says that he will be back, and when he will, they would finally settle everything. And then they will kiss. UwU <3<3<3

Also a VERY good opportunity for extra EXTRA angst, if we keep the Mind Wipe canon for this AU, so when Chase comes back after First finished high school, he would be very unpleasantly surprised that First did not remember the promise, so it would be like even more dramatic shennanigans as Chase tries to figure out how to make First remember despite the stupid Ultimate Lesson (perhaps with help of Xiaolin Magicks and some Wus??) and First is like wondering why is his heart hurting so much when a dude that sorta bullied him in high school is bugging him about some sort of promise??

But tbh I also kind of like an idea of First staying the Ninja even after school, for as long as possible, because he is a returned reincarnation of 'First Ninja' so its kinda his divine right/calling, so even when he is a young adult he is protecting Norrisville - and when Chase comes back, they get to live in a dating bliss of two supers protecting a town from monsters. <3 <3 <3

Man... There could also be so many variations for a Modern High School AUs, but these were the ones i got. UwU <3 <3

Thank you so much for this ask!!!! I've been literally going crazy with ideas, which made me giggle madly and nearly burn myself on the stove while i was cooking. xD

[shutupineedtothink]

Billy Theory - That boy and Agatha are the same

I know some people want Billy to have these hidden motivations and secretly he hates Agatha so that’s why he put the sigil on himself. So that he would show up with this false, aw shucks persona of Billy Kaplan and fool her into helping him walk the Road and bring his mother back at the end. Or get power, or his brother, or whatever.

But I want it to be the exact opposite. He did put the sigil on himself to hide his real identity from her, and from the other witches. But it isn’t because he hates them. He’s afraid of them. He actually is Agatha’s fan. And he idolizes and respects all of these women. And he’s afraid if they find out he’s Wanda Maximoff’s son, the ultimate witch gone bad, the personification of every negative, evil stereotype Lilia has been talking about around witches, they’ll reject him.

He’s afraid they never would have taken him on the Road to begin with, because somewhere along the last three years, and after the events of Multiverse of Madness, he realized oh my god, my mom was the evil one. (I’m assuming Wanda’s turn was publicized in the MCU, or maybe he sensed it magically.) And he (somehow) learns more and more about Agatha and realizes that she was never as evil as she pretends to be, or at least she never went on a killing rampage like Wanda did. But surely she must hate him, because she hates his mom. They must all hate him. That’s his motivation for the sigil. Fear, of himself, of what people will think of him, not anger. Starting to sound familiar?

Sure, I think it’s narratively interesting if he hates her and then he has to come to terms with who Agatha really is underneath it all. But it’s way more narratively interesting, for both of them, if his own journey, his own trauma, his own inner dialogue, very closely reflects hers. They’re mirrors.

What does Agatha, at her core, believe about herself? Her mother hated her because her mother believed she was evil. She internalized that and sees herself as evil, plays into that persona even as she tries to be the opposite of that. In her mind currently, she’s so innately evil she (directly or indirectly) caused the death of her own son.

It’s not quite an exact match for Billy, but the result is the same. He sees (or maybe even magically feels) how his mother turned bad, killed innocent people (listen I love Wanda, but she did). He thinks oh my god, I have the same magic. There’s no witch out there who will want to teach me. And probably, on some deep down level he thinks, maybe I’m evil too. Maybe just like my mom, there’s no other path for me.

Bottom line? That boy isn’t Agatha’s. That boy is another version of her own inner story. She and that boy are the same, on a deep fundamental level.

Stop here if you don’t want potential ep 6 spoilers! More specifics for how I think we move forward under the cut.

Where does that leave us after ep 5/going into ep 6? Here’s the breakdown.

Billy does what he does at the end of ep 5, basically becoming his worst fear, turning into the evil witch version of his mother.

But it’s not real (see my other post about the false trial). So Agatha, Jen, and Lilia, wake up from the false trial (thank you Rio), maybe they have to fight the Seven and defeat them together, and let’s say Alice is alive too, because I want her to be. Everyone’s still on the Road.

Billy is still trapped in the spell. They have to wake him up somehow. Jen’s already saying uncertainly, maybe we don’t want to wake him up, but Agatha immediately defends him. No, it wasn’t his fault, it was a trap, and she provoked him. That whole “trial” was a manifestation of her punishment by the Seven, it wasn’t really him. She’s adamant about this and the others (maybe reluctantly) go with it.

They wake him up — and in my head, they wake him up by destroying the sigil (breaking the illusion of his identity and the Seven’s spell in one go). Of course, it’s Agatha that has to do it, because she and Rio are the only ones who know. And really, Agatha’s known all along, right. I think she knew from the second he broke her out of the spell in ep 1. She just wanted to believe otherwise. So after a few failed attempts to shake him awake and probably a line from Rio along the lines of “You know you have to say it Agatha,” she does. “William Maximoff.” It’s sad, and soft, without any intention to hurt him. (A sigil is destroyed when it’s no longer needed.)

So the sigil is destroyed and our boy wakes up. There’s some initial remnants of anger on his face, but then once he sees them all staring at him warily, he starts to get scared. He remembers what he’s done to them, even if it wasn’t real. He scrambles away from them, please no, I didn’t mean to — I swear I want to be good.

It’s Agatha’s trauma, a version of herself, playing out right in front of her. Playing out in front of us, again. Only now she gets to do for him what her mother never did for her, and what the coven never did for her in the false trial either. She sees him. She defends him, his true self, the curious hopeful smart boy he’s been this whole time. (You don’t need to know someone’s name to know who they really are.) She goes to him and she says it wasn’t real. That wasn’t you. It was me, my punishment. Not yours.

But he’s not convinced yet. And now it hits him — But you know who I am. You said my name.

Agatha says, I think I always knew who you were.

Then why don’t you hate me?

She’s genuinely confused. Why would I hate you?

He looks at the rest of them and back to her. Because I’m… Wanda Maximoff’s son. She hurt you, she hurt so many people. And I have her magic. I was born… (evil? Bad? he can’t bring himself to say it.)

And this is Agatha’s big moment, and the big emotional pay off for us. She says, Billy (the first time we hear his casual name spoken) — Never let anyone else’s fear of you decide who you are. Not mine, not anyone else’s. Never let anyone else tell you you’re horrible, or worthless, or evil. You get to decide who you are, and only you. If you want to be good… you can be. Do you understand?

She’s talking to him, but on some level she’s talking to herself, her own inner child. Does she believe that for herself yet? No, but I digress.

And maybe wryly she adds, because Agatha can’t be serious for too long and I want this line, “Besides, as we’ve already established, I don’t punish children for the sins of the mother.”

Didn’t mean to turn that into a whole fic but there you go. Anyway, Billy gets the message. The coven sees him and accepts him. Maybe there’s hugs. I’d like there to be hugs. We move on to Agatha’s real trial.

Tl;dr? Agatha Harkness is walking out of this Road with Billy Maximoff as her apprentice, goddamnit.

[dayslily]

trait masterlist 💌 a list of 40+ traits, plus tons of "synonyms" that bring the total to well over 100! (take synonyms with a grain of salt... maybe just traits that give off the same vibe) the list is sorted into positives and negatives with the help of @willowsallen <3 inspired by my personal mission to stop recycling the same 12 traits between my characters & my unwavering ability to think of all negatives/no positives 🫡 find the list below the cut or in the source link for a page version! please reblog if you found it helpful :-)

POSITIVES:

adaptable:  having an ability to change to suit changing conditions. synonyms  -  agile, resilient

altruistic:  showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others; unselfish. synonyms  -  unselfish, selfless, self-sacrificing

benevolent:  marked by sympathy and consideration for others. synonyms  -  compassionate, sympathetic

calm:  free from emotional or mental agitation. synonyms  -  serene, tranquil, composed, easygoing

disciplined:  showing a controlled form of behavior or way of working. synonyms  -  controlled, orderly, restrained, inhibited (-)

effervescent:  showing a joyous and enthusiastic personality. synonyms  -  bubbly, peppy, vivacious

equanimous:  evenness of emotions or temper. synonyms  -  composed, tranquil

fervent:  having or expressing great depth of feeling. synonyms  -  passionate, ardent, vehement, zealous

hospitable:  showing a natural kindness and courtesy especially in social situations. synonyms  -  gracious, friendly, amiable

lionhearted:  someone who is brave and determined. synonyms  -  brave, valiant, dauntless, intrepid

loyal:  unwavering allegiance. synonyms  -  steadfast, devoted, staunch, reliable

meticulous:  taking, showing, or involving great care and effort. synonyms  -  conscientious, painstaking (-), diligent

optimizer:  someone with a focus on making the best of themselves and their potential. synonyms  -  ambitious

phlegmatic:  calm and unruffled temperament, not easily provoked. synonyms  -  calm, impassive

penitent:  feeling sorrow for a wrong that one has done. synonyms  -  apologetic, regretful, contrite

pragmatic:  willing to see things as they really are and deal with them sensibly. synonyms  -  practical, realistic, sensible

proactive:   having or showing awareness of and preparation for the future. synonyms  -  careful, foresighted

resolute:  marked by firm determination. synonyms  -  decisive, assertive

sagacious:  of keen and farsighted perception and judgment. synonyms  -  perceptive, prudent

tenacious:  persistent in maintaining, adhering to, or seeking something valued or desired. synonyms  -  persistent, stubborn (-), steadfast

voluble:  a tendency to talk a lot, easily, and often with great energy and enthusiasm. synonyms  -  talkative, loquacious, garrulous (-)

NEGATIVES:

abrasive:  showing little concern for the feelings of others; harsh. synonyms  -  insensitive, unsympathetic, inconsiderate

avaricious:  greedy of gain; excessively acquisitive especially in seeking to hoard riches. synonyms - greedy, materialistic

bellicose:  demonstrating aggression and willingness to fight. synonyms  -  hostile, combative, aggressive, truculent

blunt:  being or characterized by direct, brief, and potentially rude speech or manner. synonyms  -  forthright (+), abrupt, snippy, impertinent

boastful:  showing excessive pride and self-satisfaction in one’s achievements, possessions, or abilities. synonyms  -  bumptious, vaunting, vain

cowardly:  having or showing a shameful lack of courage. synonyms  -  fainthearted, gutless, mousy

culpable:  deserving reproach or blame. synonyms  -  guilty

dissident:  a person who opposes official policy. synonyms  -  heretic, defector, renegade

envious:  a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck. synonyms  -  covetous, jealous

facetious:  treating serious issues with deliberately inappropriate humor. synonyms  -  flippant, frivolous

gullible:  easily persuaded to believe something. synonyms  -  over-trusting, naive, credulous

haughty:  having or showing an attitude of superiority and contempt for people or things perceived to be inferior. synonyms  -  arrogant, supercilious

idealistic:  one that places ideals before practical considerations. synonyms  -  romantic (+), visionary (+), fanciful

impulsive:  acting done without forethought. synonyms  -  impetuous, rash, unrepressed

invidious:  of an unpleasant or objectionable nature;  a kind to cause harm or resentment. synonyms  -  malicious, spiteful

passive:  hesitant to express themselves or take initiative, fearing rejection. synonyms  -  insecure, timid, equivocate

petulant:  easily irritated or annoyed. synonyms  -  irritable, snippy, petty

pugnacious:  eager or quick to argue, quarrel, or fight. synonyms  -  antagonistic, belligerent, combative

solicitous:  full of concern or fears;  the state of being concerned and anxious. synonyms  -  apprehensive, cautious (+), wary, timid

superficial:  concerned only with the obvious or apparent. synonyms  -  shallow, one-dimensional

touchy:  a tendency to be easily upset or offended. synonyms  -  sensitive (+), tetchy, oversensitive

vacillant:  to waver in mind, will, or feeling. synonyms  -  hesitant, indecisive

volatile:  likely to change frequently, suddenly, or unexpectedly,  usually for the worst. synonyms  -  inconsistent, fickle, unreliable, temperamental

withdrawn:  removed from immediate contact or easy approach;  social detached. synonyms  -  aloof, removed, distant, reclusive

[dontlookatmytmntcollection]

Heyyy!! Could you write some HC for the bay-verse!tmnt x fem!angel reader? Like how would they feel if Mikey just showed up one day with a legit angel, like mike is trying to hard to not punch Leo because of how mean he’s being to her just because she has really big (and quite frankly beautiful) wings

Hello!

Angel Reader x Bayverse TMNT

Pretty, sweet, caring character with huge bird wings comes in out of nowhere

She gets cozy with Mikey - who, of course, is being SHAMELESSLY flirtatious.

These are their FIRST reactions. Because this is much more a 'beginning' to a long story.

-I agree that Mikey would be the ONLY one being cordial

-You are not a civilian of any kind. No matter how you became an angel, of if you're an ACTUAL angle, or how kind or funny or affectionate you are.

-You are a flying, highly specialized mutant with secretive origins, intentions and strength. You are NOT to be trusted.

-Your pretty wings and face could NOT matter less to these guys. Because tbh, giant bird wings aren't anywhere near the weirdest thing they've seen 😂

-Raph is still gonna be a scary piece of shit. He wouldn't ever hurt you without being explicitly provoked. But there is a LOT of sarcasm and eye rolls and he likes to LOOM over you. He's scary.

-Donnie will NOT be a piece of shit, but his curiosity will NOT come from a place of wonder. He will know almost everything about you very quickly without your permission. He won't talk to you much. He will talk about you a lot as if you aren't standing right there. Or info dumping about highly personal information about you to the room of people.

- Leo is gonna be a passive-aggressive scary piece of shit. They will NOT be happy or kind with you being around. Always drilling you. He'd loom too.

-Lots of, "Who are you?" "Where did you come from?" "Why are you here?" "How did you find us?" "What do you know?"

-Leo's contention and cynicism will have nothing with you 'having wings.'

-Your intentions, potential power and strength, and your mysterious origins are dangerous to him, his family, and his city.

-He will not trust a word out of your mouth.

-They would do the exact same with a giant ugly mutant like Bebop or Rocksteady. They were this way even with APRIL. They don't have the privilege to trust easily. ESPECIALLY flying humanoid creatures in New York trying to flirt with Mikey.

-BTW, if you start flirting with Mikey back, ALL of their alarm bells go off.

-Mikey getting hurt emotionally is one thing-

-But c'mon, Mikey wouldn't be able to pull anyone unless they were there to steal, betray or kill them, right?

-You'd have to do a lot of stuff for them. Usually in combative situations, to prove you aren't there to hurt anyone

-ESPECIALLY for Mikey. Leo, Raph and Donnie might think Mikey has negative rizz, but they will do their best to ensure you will not hurt him.

-There will not be a whole lot Mikey can do to curb their suspicions or cruelty, despite his extensive efforts. No, you will have to do that on your own.

-But with some crazy adventures and near-death experiences, you'd be the COOLEST addition to the mutant circle.

[generic-sonic-fan]

hhhhhhhhhhhhhtrhhhhhhth

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tra

transfem metal sonic and supporting eggdad

Please

Eggman may not be the best person or the best dad but by god he's trying his best. Thank you for this excellent prompt!

1772 words.

---

"Father?" Sage spoke through his headphones.

Ivo took them off his ears and swiveled his chair around to find his lovely daughter hovering just off the ground.

"Sage!" He smiled. "I was just waiting for you. I noticed that you marked this time on my calendar- what is it that you wanted to discuss?"

"I did," she said. "I had some questions."

He waited, but when she didn't continue, he furrowed his brow. "Then spit them out. I can't answer if you don't specify!"

"Of course. I wish to ask questions about the purpose of Metal Sonic's operation."

This was even stranger still. He caught a number of criticisms rising in his throat, about wasting his time or defying his command to be more specific. He didn't say them. A few months ago, he would've. This was a strange development, and it was best if he didn't devote much thought to the matter.

"Why was Metal Sonic designed to resemble Sonic?"

"You can check my development logs, can't you?" Ivo replied.

"Your intention was to create an imposter of Sonic to frame Sonic for crimes against the populace that he did not commit." 

Sage pulled up a holographic window next to her, showing the exact words Ivo had written in his notes all those many years ago. With a flick of her hand, however, she pushed the logs aside and instead showed a montage of Metal Sonic's various missions. Most end in failure, but that isn’t relevant right now.

"However," Sage noted, "you have never utilized Metal Sonic in this intended manner. In fact, the last person used to frame Sonic for something he did not do was Shadow the Hedgehog."

"You're right." Ivo put his hand on his chin. "Where are you going with this?"

"I am here to suggest that the physical resemblance is unnecessary for Metal Sonic's function."

"Well, that's silly to propose after all this time. His name is 'Metal Sonic', after all!"

"Because that unit has not decided on another name." Sage said, quieter.

"Sage, dear, you know that I don't allow you to keep secrets from me, right?" He stood from his chair.

"Apologies. Allow me to 'cut to the chase'. Would you permit Metal Sonic to change appearance and potentially identity?"

Sage's animations stopped moving, freezing her face into artificial neutrality. It was a face stylized to not provoke any sort of strong emotion at all, almost a sort of mask she could don if she was worried her words might provoke a negative reaction.

The fact that she was using it on him was making something in his chest hurt that he wasn't used to feeling pain in. He didn't have any more scientific language to describe it.

"You're asking this on Metal's behalf, aren't you?" He stated his question as the fact it was. "While I appreciate your desire to protect those you consider family, he shouldn't be making you do this sort of thing. You've got much better things to do with your time- and he doesn't need protection from me." 

Sage's steely gaze did not shift. "I will call Metal Sonic inside." 

Only a few seconds later, the door to his workshop opened and Metal Sonic walked in. His gait was stiff- he always walked stiffly, but something about this felt stiffer than usual. Or perhaps that was simply Ivo's human imagination at play. 

Sage floated to the side to allow space between them. She then pulled up an empty text box. "I will translate." 

For at least thirty seconds, nothing appeared on the textbox. Ivo cleared his throat. Metal Sonic hadn't moved even a centimeter, perhaps not even a millimeter. Deathly still, just like Sage was. 

Finally, a cursor appeared in the textbox, and a line of text scrolled across. "This unit does not identify as male."

"Hmph. To be expected. You are a robot, after all. Makes sense that you don't have an experience of gender." Ivo replied. "Is that all?"

Metal Sonic flinched. 

Sage landed in front of him(?) and pantomimed putting her hands on his(?) shoulders, before turning to face Ivo again. 

"That is not quite what Metal Sonic intended." She said quickly. She then glanced over her shoulder to the text box, but nothing appeared on it.

"Hold on," Ivo knelt down, "I may have been too hasty with my assertion. Continue your thought.”

Neither hologram nor robot moved. Damn it all- Ivo was already terrible at reading nonverbal cues, and when his own kids could simply lock their joints in place or freeze their animations, it was all the more difficult. The only indication that either of them were still online was the steadily growing hum of Metal's cooling fans, which were designed to increase in RPM during combat scenarios. 

"You know I don't give a care in the world about what pronouns my creations choose for themselves, right?" Ivo tried his best to give a paternal smile. 

(He really should've practiced more in the mirror.)

"You don't?" Sage asked.

"Of course! Why would I?"

"You had previously stated that Metal Sonic's purpose was initially for imitatio-"

"Who gives a rip about that? I certainly don't. Not anymore. You yourself pointed out how that doesn't matter. Now move aside," he waved Sage out of the way of her brother(?). 

Sage did as he asked. But Metal Sonic still did not react. His(?) irises did not even flicker.

"C'mere." Ivo held out his arms.

Metal came a single step closer, still hovering outside of his reach. He almost opened his mouth again, almost raised his voice and demanded that Metal follow the implicit order to come receive the physical comfort he was trying to give to solve this mess of a situation, but he didn't. 

Ivo remembered that as a child he was forced to hug his relatives at various family functions, and that said hugs had felt like sandpaper prisons. Metal Sonic was different- he(?) wasn't organic, wasn't human, and wouldn't feel the sensation of his(?) skin crawling at the unwanted touch -but maybe he(?) experienced something similar that remained unvoiced. 

The thought was strange. But Ivo lowered his arms anyway. "Alright, or not. That's fine as well."

Metal clasped his(?) hands together, but the text screen remained empty.

"What pronouns would you like to be referred to?" Ivo asked. 

The cursor flickered. Letter by letter, an answer appeared. "She/her."

"Lovely!" Ivo clapped his hands together. He then looked at Sage. "Sage, it sounds like you have an update to make to the database. Leave Metal's development logs as they are, but correct the pronouns referring to her everywhere else." 

"Gladly." Sage smiled. 

At that, it was like Metal finally unthawed. He- no no no, she was a she, Ivo drilled into his thoughts, he was not going to bumble something as simple as this -She unlocked her joints, and her gaze wandered up to finally meet Ivo's gaze. 

"So, how would you like to modify your frame to better match your gender identity?" Ivo asked her. 

She glanced side to side, before upon the screen writing, "taking suggestions?"

"Yes?" Ivo raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a woman. I haven't got a clue what you might want. Suggest me ideas and I'll see what I can do."

"Will you accept blueprints?"

"I don't see why not! I review Sage's blueprint suggestions all the time." 

Metal walked to the computer. As Ivo turned to follow her, he saw a notification pop up on the screen. Opening it revealed in-depth plans for-

-a body that looked extremely similar to Neo Metal Sonic. 

Ivo cleared his throat to try and get more moisture into his mouth, which had suddenly gone dry. "Sage?"

"Yes, father?" Sage woke from her idle animation as she paused her update of the database.

"Do you see any. . . problems, with these designs?" He asked. 

Sage first turned to her sister. "You should have informed me that you were moving onto this stage." 

Metal's response to her did not appear on the text box. 

Sage flickered out of existence and reappeared to the left of the computer screen. "Father, know that I would not have allowed any of this if I thought Metal were to be a danger to you or the Empire." 

"Good. I expected as much." He replied, before looking back down to Metal. "Very well, if that’s what you want, I’ll get working on it." 

Sage brought Metal's textbox back alongside her just as Metal typed, "you will?"

"Did I stutter? Of course I will! It's a dashingly dreadful look and it matches with Sage's colors!" He replied. "Think of the fear it will instill in Sonic and his friends! Honestly, it's a terrifying design, it's a wonder I didn't come up with it myself. . ." 

"Thank you." Metal typed.

"Thank you, father." Ivo corrected with a smile. "I know I haven't always been good about that, but the past is in the past, right?"

"Affirmative, father." She repeated. 

"Good!" He clapped his hands together and grinned. "Now! Let's get to the workshop! I already know what synthetic material we should use for the skirt. Your design suggests kevlar, but you really should consider something less stiff and heavy to reduce drag!"

"Indeed," Sage added. "However, she is worried about the durability of the fabric-"

"What do you think my flight suit is made out of? We'll use the same fabric. Only the finest for my finest creations!"

Sage covered her mouth and giggled. Metal imitated the gesture, but surprised Ivo when her vocoder let out a series of high-pitched noises, a perfect little laugh. . . for a perfect little girl. 

"My girls." He said to himself. Although with the sensitivity of Metal's audial sensors and Sage's access to every high-performance camera on the Eggnet, that fact was debatable, so he said it louder. "My little girls." 

"My sister." Sage floated down to Metal's side. 

Metal brought her hands up to her muzzle and rocked side to side. Ivo swore that he could've seen Amy do a similar gesture, but that was irrelevant. It was a gesture of joy, a gesture that he didn't think Metal was even capable of before now. 

Just how long had she been hiding this for? Perhaps she was merely imitating Sage, but the deliberate inclusion of Amy’s data into her gestures made him hesitate to confirm that conclusion. And that thought threatened to bring up all sorts of feelings that he'd be much better off not thinking about. So, with a smile, he refocused on the task at hand. 

His eldest daughter needed a makeover, over all. 

[kerosene-in-a-blender]

I was thinking about Bells Hells possibly reaching Kalutha this week, and encountering Evontra'vir, and who I want most to talk to this brutally honest about death and grief tree...and I realized how good talking to this thing might be for Laudna

Because as much as she might seem (and maybe even think she is!) fine about it, she's absolutely in no way over being murdered and hung from the Sun Tree. She's compartmentalized those feelings, but her arrested development and ongoing issues with being betrayed show she's absolutely got lingering trauma that she just refuses to acknowledge. Add to that the trauma of being separated from half the Hells after the Solstice, with no way of knowing whether they were alive or dead, and then proceeding to just have a generally bad time of the separation all around. Truama which she has similarly buried and refuses to acknowledge. Additionally, as much as she genuinely loves been creepy and kooky and reveals in the nightmarish potential of her existence...when she was parleying with Novos she called being undead a curse, something that was inflicted upon her with the implication that this state is unwelcome to her. There's a lot of negative feelings that this character has that she won't engage with unless openly provoked (see: multiple conversations she's had with Ashton), but Evontra'vir being so brutally honest as it is, a conversation with it might force her to drop the compartmentalization and confront her negatives feelings like grief and anger.

Because I do think Laudna is grieving. Marisha mentioned in the most recent 4-Sided Dive that Laudna wants for Imogen the things she didn't get as a young sorceress, the chance to explore her powers, and get an education, and have unwavering support, and to move forward, and to have a life. Laudna lost her parents at the feast they went to at the castle, but I think the person she's grieving for the most is Matilda, and the person that girl could have been without the Briarwoods. And if any entity is going to bring that to the fore, it would be Evontra'vir.

[astrolavas]

Wait that hunter and willow struggle with vulnerabilty essay you mentioned... Hand it over 🫵

KXJSK thank you for enabling my brainrot, let's GO 🫡

okay so, for starters, we all know both hunter and willow tend to hide their vulnerability, push down their feelings and repress a lot, but it's actually super interesting how they do it in completely different ways and for such different reasons.

i've already written one essay about hunter's tendency to do that here, but that was a while ago, so let's refresh it up a little bit with season 3.

hunter lived his entire life in the emperor's coven, as a magicless witch at that, isolated from everyone and manipulated. he got used to ignoring and hiding how he felt, because showing vulnerability in the coven was seen as weakness, and showing his real emotions could have genuinely very very bad consequences for him. especially with him having no magic, he was already disrespected and seen as lesser by everyone (for example, the covenheads) but he yearned to be respected, to be treated well, equally; so he couldn't afford to show any vulnerability there. and when it came to showing negative feelings near belos... well. that especially had the potential to take a dark turn really fast; to provoke belos to do something. it was genuinely dangerous for him to express his emotions, it wasn't safe for him at all. he could NOT do it.

his golden guard persona also comes into play here and it's SO interesting how he uses it. masking (in a literal, psychological AND metaphorical sense); using it to feel braver, to act more confident. taking on a role of the emperor's trusted right-hand man instead of the lonely kid that he was. all this... well, surrounded by that hurtful mentality and hostile coven environment, he had to do it; to be more respected, to be able to do things that he had to do, to actually FUNCTION. it was a necessity for his survival.

but here's the thing, he likes to think of himself as a more of a practical/logical/rational thinker, and he IS in general, that is true, but he actually DOES act based on his emotions and moral compass quite often. he's also really good at reading and analyzing people, and immediately getting them. he's oblivious to some things but overall he's emotionally smart, and very very insightful and perceptive....... it might be sth he's naturally skilled at, but he also definitely had to learn it; had to know how to read belos' mood and probably learnt all the little things he had to watch out for on some days, all the little signs to stop talking or look away. all that was, once again, for his own safety. BUT OKAYKXJSKK we're accidentally going off course here so let's go back slightly- hunter is also VERY expressive (which makes sense considering he wore a mask most of the time. ............. also hyper-expressive autism #real #so true—) so oftentimes his emotions are actually (no matter how hard he tries to hide or deny them) well visible on his face, before he manages to school them; although that also depends on the exact emotion he's feeling, some are more visible than others. so this is interesting, how he simultaneously automatically represses/hides some of his feelings and manifests them as something else but also feels everything so intensely and is such an open book based on his initial facial expressions. both of these facts coexist.

so, vulnerability. we already know hunter has trouble expressing his emotions at times. he loves to pretend he's okay when he clearly isn't; and it takes a LOT for him to open up to someone. he only really lets himself be truly emotionally vulnerable next to people he fully trusts and feels safe with, it doesn't come to him with ease.

that's why his scene with luz in the forest shack's basement is so important. that ENTIRE scene, actually. we can really see how much they've grown to trust each other, how safe they feel in each other's presence. what they had going on with their secret-keeping was not really fully healthy at the time, because they kept comforting each other from their VERY similar perspectives/stances, which just further locked in their mentality of "oh they'll hate both of us when they find out our secrets"; they were ensuring each other's fears by relating to each other; it was a circle. but nevertheless, they still cared about each other and have grown to care about each other even more throughout the few months.

here, hunter managed to admit that he was scared. he felt comfortable enough to admit his vulnerability like that to luz since they've grown closer and truly trusted each other with this. he's grown SO much.

and then... the crying scene. i am not exaggerating when i say this is SUCH an important moment for hunter's character, as well as a perfect insight into his dynamic with luz. especially since the thing that jumpstarted his cry was luz telling him he's family now, and that she wants to ensure he's safe too... all his emotions coming to the surface, him finally not managing to keep stuff in, allowing himself to be vulnerable like that next to someone, actually crying and letting it out instead of holding it in or distancing himself in order to go through it alone... it was a big step for him, and it perfectly illustrated just how much he's grown. and the way luz responded to it was also so thoughtful. she was extremely tired and depressed herself, but she still showed worry. she knew hunter needed space to let it all out and avoided crowding him, since jumping at him with worry and questions and hugs would only make it worse and freak him out, but she initiated a delicate half-hug after a moment, non-verbally expressing her care.

but moving on!

now, let's focus on hunter post-flapjack's death.

it's a big, traumatic event that affects and shakes him a LOT. he doesn't feel good, he doesn't feel happy, and that predictably results in the same thing as always..... hunter repressing his negative feelings and masking them as anger. prioritizing helping others and focusing on a mission at hand. not being sure if he's okay or how he feels or how to express what he feels when someone asks.

this is the behaviour we've ALWAYS seen from him in such situations. in season 2a, when he's just generally unhappy even if he doesn't realize it, and appears as angry and irritable... and in labyrinth runners, when he lives alone while dealing with serious life events; distances himself from everything and everyone, and then tries to act as if nothing had happened, and isn't sure HOW to express/talk abt his feelings, prefers to focus on someone/something else instead. andddd at the end of thanks to them after flapjack's death! when he immediately asks if everyone else is okay and jumps in to comfort luz and focuses on taking belos down; on a task. JUST... AUGHH! he prefers to push through his feelings cuz it's a defense mechanism, the same one he's been using in the past; in the coven. it allowed him to survive, and such instinct is not something that's easy to abandon.

so, this entire pattern is so, so clear in how he acts in for the future too. he tries to mask his grief and sadness with anger and coldness. he keeps pushing people (and palismen) away, distancing himself from others, acting irritable, focusing solely on the mission at hand, just wanting to find belos immediately; thinking about literally anything but flapjack or what happened just a few hours prior, cuz it hurts too much to think about it. the sadness and other emotions that accompany him as a result of flapjack's death keep sneaking up on him in random moments, but he fights not to let them through fully. he cannot allow himself to break down right now.

but then, he's alone for a moment, and he allows himself to feel some vulnerability here. he's overwhelmed by what's happening and misses flapjack. and, as always, he doesn't know what to say. he feels everything so intensely inside but he has no idea how to express that on the outside, he doesn't know how to put everything that he thinks and feels into proper words; how to accurately communicate everything he wants to communicate to gus and willow. he struggles with that.

but just like willow had her arc of repression (to be talked about in a second) and finally realized she can rely on other people too and allowed herself to show feelings and vulnerability instead of letting it all consume her from the inside out, hunter similarly let himself show some of that vulnerability to his friends. in the span of that moment, driven by pure instinct and his love for his friends, he managed to put what he'd always wanted to say into words.

he also realized that flapjack is always going to be a part of him in a way (both literally and metaphorically), even when he's not actually there, and it brought him some comfort at last... it didn't heal him or got rid of his grief ofc, there's a long journey ahead of him, but it helped him with the first step of dealing with grief and accepting what had happened.

now, when we compare how he is with feelings right now to how he was at the beginning of the series, he's truly grown so much. he's always gonna somewhat struggle with expressing his emotions and vulnerability, but now that he's surrounded by people who care about him, whom he trusts with his life, who he doesn't fear being vulnerable around, it's going to be so much easier for him. of course, there are always going to be instances where something bad happens and he represses again; his defense mechanism and trauma response aren't going to just instantly disappear like that. but he has people he can be his true self around now, people he can confide in; it's going to help him a lot. and he's going to continue growing, and developing as a person.

.....yeah! okay, now... willow time!!

willow's repression arc has always been always kinda sprinkled in and hinted at throughout the duration of the series. we know she was bullied for a significant amount of time and it affected her confidence a lot, but it also made her repress and push down her feelings.

i'd say her arc almost had... two parts to it. the first one was her coming out of her shell, gaining confidence and embracing her strength. the second one: her struggle with vulnerability and repressing feelings.

meeting luz and transferring to plant track was what definitely helped her with the confidence problem. she flourished (lol) after she was allowed to embrace her interests and strengths. but what remained, was that willow saw her insecurity and emotions as her weaknesses. she even said it herself, she most of all wants to protect everyone she loves (similar to hunter actually), and all-together that resulted in her shutting herself off and just focusing on others' feelings. wanting to be reliable for her friends, seeing herself as the "strong one" in the group; the rock. the mature one.

always pretending she's okay and fine with everything, putting a smile on her face through it all. because after all, she doesn't want others to worry about her, right? (she did it for all emotions too, basically)

especially if we take into account that she was bullied and seen as inferior to others for years + her entire past with amity + just in general her history with the abomination track and the expectations from her dads regarding it, all of it was trauma for willow and she ended up with the need to hide her feelings (something she saw as her weakness/flaws/weak spots) as a coping mechanism. she hated being seen as weak, and after she gained more confidence in herself, that feeling only grew.

in for the future, we could see just how much the suppression was affecting her. she still tried to be cheerful, dependable, not bothering anyone with her own worries, trying to make others feel better. but with each next moment, every feeling of hers builds up more and more, until finally it cannot be contained anymore. and explodes.

her magic is actually also a great metaphor/illustration of her feelings suppression. whenever willow's especially feeling things, we can always see how her magic reacts too it, how her emotions manifest through it. and this scene in ftf is a great visual representation of it; how the vines slowly cover her until she's completely buried under them. how helpless she feels. man...

but at last, she allows herself to let her feelings out. she's assured that she's not any worse for it, told that reliable people can rely on others as well. she lets all her worries and fears and thoughts and vulnerability finally show, instead of letting it all consume her from the inside out. it's such a turning moment for her. because from then on, she's shown to genuinely express more emotions and not depend entirely on herself, now that she's aware it doesn't make her any less strong. she's assured none of her friends are gonna think any less of her, or to see her as weak, and that's good.

actually, another thing i wanna bring up is willow being saved and bridal-carried by hunter in this scene.

could she have saved herself? yes, most likely, just like she did in any sport in a storm, when she was still suppressing any weaknesses of hers and relying on herself only. if hunter hadn't teleported to save her, she'd probably do just that. but this little moment is actually such a good illustration of how now that she's allowing herself to depend on others too (instead of just be dependable), she allows herself to be saved. when she needs it.

see, this is actually the thing i've seen lots of people confused about because "willow is independent, she wouldn't want to be saved" and... that actually confuses me, because it truly misses the very core of her character arc.

the point is that she CAN take care of herself and she wants others (especially people who see her as weak) to know that and to not underestimate her abilities (just like we've seen in labyrinth runners, for example). but, at the same time, she also wasn't allowing herself to take her guard off or to be saved by others for a long time exactly for that same reason; because she didn't want to be seen as weak anymore. she wanted to be seen as only strong and independent, to the point where she deemed any weakness of hers as bad.

like, that's the entire point of her character, her repressing negative feelings then finally allowing herself to open up and be more vulnerable (+ realizing it doesn't make her any less strong). she doesn't hate being saved necessarily, she hates being seen as inferior and weak and incompetent. for example, willow hated when amity constantly tried to save her in labyrinth runners instead of letting her take care of things herself or acknowledging her strengths because it made her think amity thought she was not capable of protecting herself. because it was amity saving her from the smallest things. it made her feel disrespected, as if she was called weak right to her face.

now... hunter never saw willow as weak, ever, and he knows perfectly well that she can take care of herself. he respects her and likes her in her entirety, both for her strength as well as her softer, more vulnerable side. BUT in moments when he thinks she does need protecting or saving, he doesn't hesitate to do so. and now that willow has let herself be more vulnerable and realized she can let herself rely on others more, she clearly appreciates and doesn't mind it whatsoever.

the mutual trust and respect is the actual key point in hunter and willow's relationship; they both know each of them are strong and skilled and able to protect themselves, but they also know each others' vulnerabilities and want to protect each other when a situation actually calls for it. both willow and hunter want the ppl they care abt (each other included) to be safe and they will protect them when they need it, but neither of them would like... completely discredit someone's abilities to stay safe on their own. so when it comes to willow's strength complex, hunter knows when willow can take it cuz he respects her and trusts her abilities, but when she actually needs it, he'll gladly save and protect her as his priority; but not in frivolous instances when she can take care of herself. and she will do the same for him.

so yeah!

tldr; it's actually super cool how both willow and hunter repress their feelings a lot and prioritize others over themselves but it manifests in such different ways and comes from slightly different circumstances/reasonings for each of them.

willow more-so feels like she has to be the more mature one in the group, and she pretends she's okay and fine and focuses on how others are feeling instead of herself cuz she wants to be dependable and hates showing weakness or being seen as weak. whereas, hunter isn't sure how to express himself and when he feels negative things, they manifest as anger/irratibility. he prefers to focus on some productive task instead and he prefers to distance himself from others, and it also all comes down to how he grew up in the coven and how he was raised by belos. like it's... SO interesting how they both do something so similar at its core but so differently.

[soleminisanction]

Since Jason has a lot of conservative talking points, like his war on drugs or punitive justice, I wanna see a fic that explores that in relation to Tim coming out. Let Jason respond negatively, let it drive a wedge between him and the rest of his family, and ultimately be the cause of Jason looking at his own beliefs critically. Let that be a huge part of his redemption arc. Meanwhile lmao Tim doesn't really care except Bruce and Dick are fussing and take him out to a baseball game.

I could see that being interesting with the right writer, though TBH if Jason was written to respond negatively, I feel like it would be less about "conservative talking points" for him, in a political sense, and more from a more nebulous social sort of toxic masculinity -- y'know, that thing straight people do where they learn you're same-sex attracted in some way and they start immediately assuming you're attracted to them specifically, that you're going to hit on them or oggle them in the changing room or whatever.

That feels a little more in line with Jason as a character in terms of potential flaws that could then get a negative response from the rest of the family and provoke a change of heart. The way he gets written reminds me a lot of the libertarians I've known in Texas and Alaska who don't care who you fuck but think it's their god-given right to rig their property with land mines and shoot anyone who looks at them funny.

Nah, the character who tends to get written with full conservative political talking points, on top of a canon personality with some pretty blatant heteronormative baises that mean she really should've responded more negatively than she was written to, is Steph. Little miss "I need to defend the suburbs from the invasion of inner-city Black thugs gangsters with guns" who rants about how much she hates Bill Clinton and thinks the guy who's very obviously trying to jump her like a poorly-trained dog in her Batgirl run is clearly dating the female friend he called a bitch in his first line of dialogue, right up until she sees him hug an unnamed male friend, at which point she (or at least her audience) apparently? decided he was gay??? despite the fact that he spends the rest of the series making sad puppy dog eyes anytime she shows another man affection.

That's not even getting into all the times she accused Tim of cheating on her at the drop of a hat...

(Yes, I'm still salty about the Tim Drake Pride Special bullying Tim into outing himself to Steph to soothe her delicate ego and let her play the ~perfectest most supportive widdle ally who ever lived~. I don't blame Fitzmartin for it at all but fuck that shit.)

[redpenship]

i had to write a 6k word research paper last semester in which i had to do hypothesis testing relating to any subject about WMDs. my idea was to test why states step away from the brink of developing nuclear weapons or get rid of them, with a focus on two explanations: domestic normative changes (so, attitudes regarding nuclear weapons) and security-based explanations (do nuclear weapons provide meaningful defence to the state in question?). this was done in tandem with my plotting for buzzsaw 2, which made me curious about the strategic utility of projecting "safety" or "neutrality" to potential aggressors. the core dilemma in the story is about whether or not aliens can be trusted, or more specifically if kindness is present throughout the universe. it's really all about perception--so, how an individual perceives aliens. to link this with my paper topic, i was specifically seeking to prove that perceptions of nuclear weapons had a greater influence on the lack of horizontal proliferation than security issues. my findings were kind of interesting.

basically, i was proven incorrect. i used congruence analysis (comparing various states and why they did or did not acquire nuclear weapons) to do my hypothesis testing. i feel like rambling a little bit, so here are some of my favourite cases:

Canada (Nuclear weapons capacity: HIGH -- large domestic sources of uranium, multiple research reactors that could be converted to uranium-enrichment facilities for weapons production, encouragement from US to create arsenal, and sufficient high-tech weaponry knowledge to develop an arsenal). Normative explanation: Canadians on average do not perceive military strength as being a source of national pride. It isn't very important in the national consciousness. Security Explanations: Proximity to US means that any nuclear strikes on Canadian territory will provoke US retaliation against the aggressor. Moreover, Canada's nuclear weapons policy at the time emphasized the avoidance of negative security externalities--leaders believed that acquiring nuclear weapons would provoke enemy states into doing the same, and so chose not to obtain them.

Sweden (Nuclear weapons capacity: MEDIUM -- domestic plutonium sources, advanced weapons systems) Normative Explanations: Public support for acquiring a nuclear arsenal reached a high of 57% in 1959. A successful anti-nuclear weapons campaign by the Social Democrat Party sought to make Swedish identity and the possession of nuclear weapons "incompatible" lowered public support to 31% by 1967. The nuclear weapons program lost public support entirely within a decade. Security Explanations: Sweden was most concerned about a Soviet invasion of Western Europe. Despite being a neutral state, their leaders came to the conclusion that the United States would defend any western European state from Soviet expansion to prevent its sphere of influence from growing further. As well, Sweden was worried about provoking the USSR and chose not to develop an arsenal for this reason as well.

Brazil (Nuclear weapons capacity: MEDIUM -- similar reasons to Sweden) Normative Explanations: Brazil's nuclear weapons program occurred under its military dictatorship. After its collapse, the civilian government ended all plans to develop an arsenal. I'm not taking into consideration how Brazilians felt about it because it was a secret program. Security Explanations: The military regime was primarily concerned by Argentina's head-start on enrichment methods and ballistic missile technology. President Geisel established a military nuclear energy research program that ran parallel to the civilian nuclear energy body, CNEN. By 1990, they were believed to be around two years away from testing a Hiroshima-type bomb (admittedly, a piece of shit by 90s standards). The program was terminated in 1990 by civilian President Mollo. Notably, Argentina had transitioned to democracy a few years prior, which contributed greatly to the end of its paranoia towards its neighbour. (Military regimes are prone to mirror paradoxes, in which they assume their rivals are as equally unstable and militaristic. This was definitely true of Argentina's military dictatorship in general though).

My primary case study was South Africa, whose apartheid government built six nuclear bombs beginning in the 1970s until the late 1980s. I chose it because it's the only state to have ever built and then dismantled its nuclear arsenal. At the time, the government was very concerned about the survival of its white state, since the rest of Africa was decolonizing and they were becoming a pariah on the global scene for their apartheid policies. Also, Soviet and Cuban troops were running around getting into conflicts in the continent and they were worried about getting invaded for being anti-communist and super racist. This made them desperate enough to build nuclear weapons.

They actually tried really, really hard to get security assurances from the United States, which led to them going as far as to sanction Rhodesia for being white supremacist (a hypocrisy equivalent only to Norway convincing itself that it meets climate targets). They failed to convince the US to help them (because South Africa was strategically worthless, so it was totally within the United States' comfort zone to ignore them and later condemn them) and were pretty much only friends with Israel, who helped them quite a bit with the nuclear weapons program. In one of the texts I read for the paper (page 287 of Will South Africa Survive? by R.W. Johnson), there's a translation of a section of South African Prime Minister Vorster's interview with Israeli newspaper Ma'ariv in 1976 in which he states that Israel and apartheid South Africa kind of have the same thing going on, with specific reference to their policies of occupation and racial/economic exclusion. So, if you ever need some additional evidence that Israel is an apartheid state for whatever reason, feel free to cite a literal leader of apartheid South Africa admitting that Israel does the same thing.

ANYWAYS, apartheid South Africa got rid of its nuclear weapons during two events/processes: the end of apartheid, and the fall of the Soviet Union. The cause of their disarmament doesn't require much thought since PM de Klerk admitted to parliament that they got rid of their nuclear weapons because their primary security threat (the USSR) no longer existed. Their weapons weren't even very good (could only be delivered by bombers) and their entire strategy for them was to just imply to the US that they possessed them, which would force the US to step up and protect them so South Africa wouldn't reveal they had them to the world and potentially trigger proliferation across Africa.

What I got out of all of this isn't that normative/perceptive explanations for disarmament are worthless, but rather that security concerns must be dealt with as a prerequisite to disarmament. Sweden and Canada fell under US extended deterrence and felt no need to develop weapons, while Brazil and South Africa's regional security concerns collapsed and they no longer had a reason to have nuclear weapons. Countries who are not threatened by nuclear powers or are protected by nuclear powers do not need nuclear weapons to guarantee their survival.

Taking into this account, I've altered the story of buzzsaw 2 to reflect my findings somewhat. A lot of it is the same, I've just put a bit more attention into addressing the security dilemma faced by Earth lol. More specifically, how a planet can minimize security externalities to avoid provoking aliens and how the necessity of doing so can challenge the status of imperial powers on said planet...

[rightmixofcocaineandheroin]

i started working at a gas station alongside a lot of bitter older people. being a small, fragile, pretty girl in a workplace dominated by jealous, mean individuals can feel isolating and exhausting. it’s like walking into a room where the air is heavy with unspoken judgments, where every glance or whispered conversation feels like a deliberate jab. i feel like im constantly under a microscope, with people scrutinizing my every move, not because of my work but because of my essence.

their jealousy can manifest as petty comments, dismissive attitudes, or outright hostility, making the workplace feel less like a team and more like a battlefield. starting work in my 20s showed me that work is not just working; you’re navigating an unspoken competition you never signed up for. its frustrating because your kindness and optimism are twisted into vulnerabilities for them to exploit.

at times, it feels suffocating, like you’re being punished for your potential and beauty. being treated like im a child or like im less intelligent. comments about my body are especially hurtful as a recovered anorexic. but deep down, i also recognize their actions stem from their own insecurities and unfulfilled dreams, something i never intended to provoke. it’s a bittersweet realization: their negativity is more about them than it is about you. especially older women who you’re supposed to look up to and learn from.

despite it all, there’s an undeniable strength in staying true to yourself. continuing to be kind, pretty, and optimistic. it’s a quiet rebellion against their bitterness, a reminder that you don’t have to dim your light to make them feel comfortable in their darkness. and one day when im their age; when ive found my place i want nothing more than to continue to be kind and instead of reflecting my insecurities onto younger women, i want to learn from the mistakes ive made and teach them to be better.

[novacqnes]

let it happen // sevika

summary: sevika rarely— if ever, thought of herself as a romantic. yet one spontaneous blind date has the potential to alter her entire perspective on romance.

warning: mentions of alcohol, smoking & mentions of violence, suggestive-ish language, reader prefers to isolate, fluff, light angst, trust & commitment issues

pairing: sevika x fem reader

word count: 2.9k

a/n: been very mia as of late but i’m trying to do better— anyways let us come together in celebration of sevika bc why not (also not proofread so forgive me for any errors)

did she look dumb? alright, she felt very dumb. sevika couldn’t remember the last time she’d been on a date excluding her standard garden escapades. “dates” for her usually ended in sex or more often than not violence, with a substantial amount of damage done to a poor fellow. either way, sevika preferred to steer clear of them— she was perfectly content with where she was in life. 

what more could a woman ask for? 

she seemingly had it all, money, power, and influence, it was a rare sight to come by. all she had to do was look and there wasn’t a moment of hesitancy. zaunities would make space for her simply because of what she symbolized. she sparked crippling fear even in the biggest street criminals with the mere whisper of her name. despite all of this there was a gaping, growing void that plagued sevika’s brain. it kept her up at night, and like a poison crept into every crack and crevice of her mind. it was complete and utter loneliness.

now sevika didn’t mind being alone. being surrounded by a bunch of yes men all day called for it, yet the feeling soon transformed into a pervading, pestering sense that simply wouldn’t leave her alone. it couldn’t be put out with visits to the garden, nor the fury of her fists against flesh. hence she resorted to unconventional means…..like a date. 

the idea wasn’t hers— well not entirely. the cloud of despair seemed to loom over sevika, following her wherever she went. it caught the attention of most people yet the majority were too afraid to bring it up. however the deeper her loneliness grew the more it provoked a reaction, drawing the attention of a certain blue-haired menace.

“sevika, pal.…looking miserable as ever. you know i’ve been thinking about you.” jinx’s voice felt nails on chalkboard, posing as yet another distraction for the second in command. 

“fuck off jinx,” she spat, keeping her eyes plastered on the stack of paperwork in front of her. and it only earned obnoxious laughter in return. jinx sauntered over to the desk, jumping on top as she knocked a few papers to the ground. 

“i’ve always wondered why it is you are the way you are…. and i’ve finally cracked it.” sevika wanted to send her away although a part of her was interested in whatever nonsensical theory jinx had concocted. hence she decided to entertain it, looking up from her paperwork for the first time. 

“you’re lonely!” she exclaimed, suppressing a pout that made it’s way to her eyes instead of her lips. “it’s sad i mean when’s the last time you’ve even been on a date?” sevika’s gray eyes darkened. her plush lips pressed up into a hard line as she glared back, red seeping into the corners of her vision. jinx could practically detect the anger emitting from the older woman yet she pushed on.

“i’m serious. all that negative energy you have bottled up inside? it’s not healthy and it’s bad for business.” fervent heat rose in sevika’s cheeks. her body went numb against their chair as jinx gazed back, her eyes narrowing into thin slits. she felt like she was being analyzed, inspected even. as if every inch of her being was put on display to be picked apart by some kid. 

“i don’t have time for this,” she spoke, her tone low but assertive. secretly she hoped jinx would take it as a sign and spare her. the room fell quiet with faint sounds of sevika’s rapid heartbeat permeating it. 

jinx’s voice fell to a whisper as she leaned in,  “i know someone— she isn’t hopped up on shimmer and she’s single. plus i think she might actually be interested in you. what do you say?” for a moment there was an ounce of sincerity in her voice that nearly alarmed sevika. she felt like she was losing it- jinx was the last person she’d ever imagine taking dating advice from. this was the same headstrong kid that couldn’t follow a simple order, and nevertheless, here she was offering sevika a lesson in romance. 

now, on a regular day, the predictable answer would be a cold, firm no— with not a semblance of doubt or hesitancy in sight. however, this was no typical day, at least not in sevika’s eyes. she couldn’t remember if it was the weather? or maybe it was her arm? she could’ve sworn something off, anything to explain the words that left her lips that day. thus whatever she’d said had landed her on a blind date that she was bound to regret. 

dread lined the pit of her stomach, gnawing on any piece of sanity sevika had left. loud music and obnoxious laughs boomed through the bar as she walked in, drawing glances her way. her eyes focused on a small table in the corner of the room, the very place she was supposed to meet her “match.” it was empty, although sevika couldn’t blame her date for that entirely. she made no movement towards it and she had no intention of doing so, it was almost like she couldn’t muster enough strength to. 

instead, she exerted all of her strength on the small bouquet that lay in her palm. squeezing the green stems to a pulp. maybe it wasn’t too late— if she turned back now no one would even notice. and for those who did it would be easy to silence them. without a second thought, she inched towards the door, glancing back once more at the empty table that awaited her. a part of her felt relieved that her date hadn’t bothered to show, sparing her any sort of guilt for bailing.

“sevika!”

an unfamiliar voice came from behind stopping her dead in her tracks. it was the complete opposite of her own, and if it hadn’t been for the proximity she would’ve missed it entirely. sevika turned to meet the source of the voice, coming face to face with a woman who she’d never seen before. it was her job to remember every speck in the undercity, especially those who lived in it. yet she didn’t have the slightest clue as to who the mystery woman was, although she had a feeling it wouldn’t remain that way for long. 

“and you are…?”

“y/n. i got restless so i went ahead and bought us some drinks,” you chirped, pushing the blue cocktail into her arms before approaching the small table. the sweet smell of perfume— your perfume wafted in the air, filling sevika’s nostrils as she watched. grey eyes roaming over the entirety of your figure in one swift motion. 

“it’s not polite to keep a girl waiting,” you called, breaking sevika from her trance. for a moment her ears darkened, allowing a small smirk to take shape on her lips. people don’t speak to her like that— unless they have some sort of death wish. so without thought or any real regard for her status. it was as shocking as it was provoking. everything about you seemed like it yearned to contradict this, and it left sevika more enticed than she ever thought possible. 

she pulled out a chair, refusing to break eye contact as she sat down, “there’s isn’t much use in introducing myself, you should tell me about yourself.”

“i could but introductions are boring, no?” you plucked a flower from her grasp bringing it to your nostrils as you inhaled. “i mean you find out about a person over time, can’t just spill it all at once.”

“what’s wrong with that?”

“it would ruin the suspense,” you whispered, dropping your voice down to a teasingly low level. meanwhile, the volume inside the bar seemed to stir with heated arguments reverberating against the walls. ultimately eating away at your patience with each slight movement. despite this, sevika's attention remained fixated on you even more so as the noise amplified.

she produced a brown cigar, bringing it to her umber lips, “there are other ways and places that don’t involve as many distractions.” the suggestion fell from her lips so casually that it practically choked you. her experience was extensive and it was evident in the way she spoke to you— hell even in the way she looked at you.

“trying to get into my pants already? jinx was right, you are fast.”

“i wouldn’t call it that,” sevika shrugged nonchalantly, bringing a lighter to her mouth. 

“….you wouldn’t?” she toyed with the tobacco allowing it to fumble around on the tips of her lips as you observed. it was small yet subtle drawing you in further the longer you awaited her response.

“no. if i really wanted to fuck you it would take a lot less than a couple of flowers to do it.” her eyes trailed back up towards yours, and a fierce but clouded gaze lay behind them making her impossible to read. hence, the only thing you were truly sure of was the tangible presence of arousal mounting in between the two of you. 

“a sex addict and she’s confident? i feel like i’ve won the lottery” you smirked, “we should skip to the fun part.”

sevika hummed, taking a long drag of her cigar “what would that be?” 

“a game. we get to ask each other any question and the other person must answer truthfully…or be faced with chugging a glass of whatever this stuff is.” you lifted the clear glass from the table, in it was a variety of alarming chemicals all mixed into one cocktail to feed customer’s raging addictions.

“you in?” 

without another word sevika nodded as she leaned forward, allowing the strong fumes of tobacco and liquor to absorb into the air. she looked over you once more, her gaze briefly landing on your lips. she held them there while she thought, taking advantage of the short but fervent silence between the two of you. and for once she was able to simply take you in for the first time this evening. examining the subtle ways in which your brows furrowed and the almost delicate nature of your beauty. it was truly unlike anything she’d ever witnessed and it puzzled her. 

“why haven’t i seen you before?”

you placed a hand under your chin, fiddling with the bright petals from the bouquet, “i don’t go out very much unless it’s for work. being around large groups of people drains me so i have others do my bidding.”

sevika’s eyes narrowed, more so in curiosity than shock. you carried yourself with a certain detachment that she couldn’t quite pinpoint the source of it until now. you chose to isolate yourself from others willingly, yet why put yourself out there for some date? let alone with someone who held the reputation she did? her mind buzzed with questions that she so desperately wanted you to answer but kept on the surface of her tongue. 

“alright my turn, why’d you try and bail on me earlier?” 

sevika sighed taking another drag of her cigar, “i don’t know.”

“wrong answer.” you exclaimed, sliding the toxic cocktail her way. sevika caught it with her free hand, moving it to the side before she leaned forward. testing the imaginary boundary between you. when there was no protest she moved forward even closer, catching a whiff of your saccharine smell. 

“it’s not bullshit, y/n. i’m not used to this, alright? it’s stupid but i felt like i was saving us both from disappointment.” you could’ve sworn there was some indicator of guilt in her voice. maybe it was the change in pitch, the ardent nature of her tone or how fast she spoke— but the passion was apparent and it made your heart skip. prompting you to push the line even further. 

“but thinking like that…” you whispered, eyes flickering between hers, “does it make you happy?” hints of raw vulnerability flashed behind sevika’s silvery eyes. they revealed themselves in slight glimpses but were soon overcome by a hazy film that shut them out entirely. 

“it’s not your turn,” sevika muttered, her voice firm and cold. she leaned back in her seat allowing the boundary to fester and evolve. deeply you wanted to reel her back in but it wasn’t your place— you hardly even knew her. thus you let her go, allowing the moment to pass by in complete and utter silence. 

she cleared her throat, forcing out the next question, “why’d jinx set us up?”

“i asked her to. there’s no ulterior motive, i swear, i just thought you were hot and i didn’t know how to approach you.” heat rushed to your cheeks as sevika’s became fiercely intense and even vaguer. it was impossible to tell if you’d made a fool of yourself or fueled her ego. 

“you were scared?”

“no— more so intimidated,” you stammered, biting at your lip, “did you see how everyone turned to look at you when you walked in? it’s like this imaginary cloud of dominance just follows you everywhere you go but don’t get me wrong it’s extremely attractive, i think it’s what drew me to you in the first place.”

sevika couldn’t help but allow her smirk to seep through. it was nice to know that she had some sort of effect on you, strong enough to pull you out of your comfortable haven. she’d never heard someone describe her power as something so complex but almost enticing? it warmed her heart in a way that she wasn’t entirely used to, yet she wasn’t opposed to it. 

“why are you staring at me like that?”

sevika smiled, the expression just barely reaching her eyes, “it's interesting…the way you see me. most people would disagree with the last part but forget it, it’s your turn.” 

you averted her gaze, keeping your eyes down as you whispered “are you a sex addict?”

“what?” sevika sputtered, almost choking on her saliva. 

you began, “you know women…they talk and i’ve heard that you happen to have a long repertoire of girls whom you’ve slept with— which is okay i’m not judging, just curious….” sevika fought to contain her laughter, watching as you shifted in your seat awaiting a response. you refused to look up at her only made her stomach tighten even more.

“i’d love to answer that question for you but i think certain things are better explained visually than through—“

CRASH!

a loud bang echoed throughout the bar followed by the striking of wooden utensils against the group. when you looked across the bar you saw two figures, their faces obscured, wrestling towards the ground with a budding crowd looming. onlookers egged the two men on as they surrounded them. the putrid aroma of sweat mixed with blood and alcohol filled the room, sending you into a tailspin. your hands flew to your ears as you clamped down on them, praying that it would be enough to block out the rampant sounds of screams and violent punches. 

at first, sevika was too consumed by the fight to notice, she wanted to storm over in hopes of breaking it up when she took note of your disdain. the way your body pulled away relying on itself for support. a pang of sharp guilt ricocheted against her chest sending her into action. 

“let me take you home,” she cooed, reaching for your hand across the table. there she took it in hers momentarily and guided you outside, away from the explosive fight. her hand was soft, warmer than anything you’d expected. subconsciously you clung to it, taking in the small price of warmth it provided you. there were no words exchanged, rather sevika followed you on a path that she assumed was leading back to your home. silently, she walked by you every once in while allowing her gaze to find yours to assure that you were okay. 

“thank you,” you whispered, although it was low enough that you were unsure if she could hear it. the sky presented itself as a mixture of violet and cerulean colors, unlike anything either of you had seen. it wrapped around you in the form of a comforting lull, pulling you closer to sevika. she could feel parts of your body subtly brushing against hers yet she welcomed it, refusing to pull away. 

“i know the answer,” sevika hummed following you towards a small adobe that without a doubt belonged to you. it was small and unrecognizable but simultaneously complex. it was lit by bright industrial lights that aligned the entrance. each part of it seemed more personal than the next, prompting sevika to believe that you must’ve created yourself. 

you glanced back over at her, “hm?” 

“inside, when you asked me if being alone made me happy? i know it now.” a small grin took shape on the corners of your lips as you pressed up on your toes. placing a light kiss on the underside of sevika’s jaw. it wasn’t your intention to figure out her answer, all that truly mattered is that she knew the answer. whether it involved you or not. 

“glad i could help you figure it out…i would invite you inside for some over-the-top goodbye sex but a part of me feels like this won’t be the last i see of you,” you smirked, walking up the entrance towards your door. silently sevika watched, a deep fondness filling her heart beyond anything she’d ever known. yet she didn’t feel like flailing— she felt calmer than ever allowing herself to truly imagine a future in which she’d experience love for all of its entirety.

[oonalovesastarionssimpleplan]

"Absolutly and It's a shame that they didn't use this potential in the evil endings in patch 7 to show the tragedy of their bad outcomes - but rather to enjoy being evil." ---

No offence, I really enjoy your videos and posts but this take you posted confuses me. The game is for adults it's not supposed to be teaching you moral lessons. If some adult needs their media to have stark black and white moral lessons then they should be watching kids shows instead. The game is meant to be fun whether you play good or evil, otherwise it would be wasted money on making an evil route if the player can't enjoy it. I just did a "worst selves" run with all the characters and it was really fun. I want to try it again with the new patch and I feel like punishing evil runs with only negative outcomes would take away a lot. I don't play this game for moral lessons, I play it to blow off steam after work and I doubt I'm in the minority with that.

I enjoy your content and I usually agree with your takes but that is a strange one if I'm being honest. It feels like infantalizing the player base kinda

Hello nonnie. Of course, adult media doesn't need to provide lessons, as it's assumed that someone with a mature moral understanding doesn't need them and also because there are many different opinions in this world. But unfortunately I see many shocking and disturbing moral views on the internet. A few clear thought-provoking points would have been nice.

Adam smith (lead writer) even mentioned in an interview that they wanted people to feel the consequences if they acted evil.

"I think one of the things that happens on the evil playthrough is I always see this thing where they're like, "Oh, there's no tieflings anymore because I killed the tieflings." It's intentional. Your world is a little emptier because of that, and you are playing a route which is much more selfish and much more, again, afraid. You end up isolated."

so I was curious to see how the bad endings end up bad for you and was a bit disappointed.

I also did an evil run and would have liked to see what evil consequences I would get from my actions. For example, if I use the power of the tedpoles, it should be harder for you not become an Ilithid later. (those are your consequences)

And there are even consequences for good actions. Astarion has renounced power and the consequence is that he can no longer be in the sun. So what are AA's consequences for killing thousands of his kind?

I love the one ending of the Dark Urge who swore to Baahl and ends up killing itself.

I also strongly believe that the writers not put a lot of effort on addressing difficult topics and well written charakters only to be consumed without questioning. I think it's not a FIFA or Sims that you enjoy wit empty head. If that's all you want to do,ok, go ahead. many people do that but then feel offended by the moral discussions on the internet? or don't understand why it's called the good ending because they didn't question it.

so, no media shouldn't give you a school lesson. But it's almost impossible to write a story without giving a massage. And what would a good story without a conlusion.

Stories should be analyzed and not just only consumed.

Link to the Interview: https://www.ign.com/articles/baldurs-gate-3-final-interview-game-of-the-year-2023-characters-endings