#with the empress' champion really it was in all the magazines at the time

[ndostairlyrium]

all this wife talk reminds me of that time I found these two hiding behind a bush at skyhold’s gardens Quite the scandal actually

[handeaux]

Cincinnati Lost The Great Chilli War Of 1974 In The U.S. Senate

Oh, for the days when the United States Senate debated really important issues! Like, for instance, chili.

It is generally acknowledged that the Great Chili War of 1974 commenced when Senator Barry Goldwater (R-Ariz) took umbrage at the menu of the National Press Club in Washington, DC. Press Club president at the time, a proud son of the Lone Star State named Clyde LaMotte, who also served as president of the Chili Appreciation Society International, had slipped “real Texas chili” onto the club’s menu.

On learning of this culinary affront, Senator Barry Goldwater (R-Ariz) proceeded to lay some kittycumbotty on both NPC President LaMotte and Senator John Tower (R-Texas).

[Footnote: A truly useful Spanglish word found in the rougher regions of Texas, “kittycumbotty” is the Anglo rendition of “¿Quire combate?,” Spanish for “Do you want to fight?”]

According to UPI, Goldwater angered Tower when he fired off a note to La Motte, expressing dismay at this Texas delicacy’s appearance on the menu. Goldwater’s note said, in part:

“Texans can’t tell real chili from leavings in a corral.”

This of course raised the dander of Senator Tower who, according to the Cooperative News Service, responded in kind:

“Comparing Arizona chili with Texas chili was like comparing Phillis Diller to Sophia Loren.”

Sensing a debate of significant import, a number of other Senators rushed to plant their own states’ flags in the midst of this battle. Jostling to the front lines was Senator Robert A. Taft Jr. (R-Ohio), who put both Texas and Arizona in their place with a 7 February 1974 speech on the floor of the upper house:

“Each (Tower and Goldwater) likened the other chili to barnyard apples and possibly both spoke truly. The only real chili comes from Cincinnati, Ohio.”

Taft waxed eloquent on the virtues of Cincinnati Chili, enduring disdain from his colleagues and derision from columnist Frank X. Tolbert of the Dallas Morning News:

“Taft’s was the most verbose and pointless of all the chili speeches. Mr. Taft caused more than 9,000 words to be printed in the Congressional Record all about the cinnamon-flavored chili served over macaroni or spaghetti or in hot dogs by the ‘Balkan’ café operators of Cincinnati. Much of this was a reprint of a silly article about Cincinnati chili in Holiday Magazine.”

The author of that  “silly article” was a young history professor at Princeton University named S. Frederick Starr. Professor Starr, a Cincinnati native who later went on to become president of Oberlin College, did, in fact, publish an extensive paean to Cincinnati’s favorite dish in the May 1973 issue of the very upscale Holiday Magazine. That article was subsequently reprinted in the Princeton Alumni Weekly of 29 October 1974 and the Cincinnati Enquirer Sunday Magazine of 9 September 1973. Among Starr’s claims in his article:

“It is no secret that Cincinnati chili surpasses that of Texas, but it's a well-kept truth, notwithstanding the fact that the genuine article is available locally at some two dozen establishments. One reason for the world's ignorance is that those addicted to the fare at the Empress or Skyline chili parlors in Cincinnati rarely leave town long enough to spread the word.”

Senator Taft did his best. After Taft’s stirring oration at the Senate, Goldwater and Tower agreed to put the question to a vote, with representative samples of each state’s chili served during an ecumenical “Chili Week” at the National Press Club. In addition to Texas, Arizona and Ohio, Senators Joseph Montoya (D-N.M.) and Peter Domenici (R-N.M.) threw their hats into the ring on behalf of New Mexico. Senator Henry Bellmon (R-Okla) stood up for the Sooner State (claiming that a seven-course meal in Oklahoma comprised a bowl of chili and a six-pack of beer). Representative Lindy Boggs (D-La) of Louisiana talked her way into the competition, opening up the debate to the lower house of Congress as well as the distaff side of the political arena.

The Cincinnati Enquirer’s long-time political reporter Robert Webb, reported [1 April 1974] on an auspicious start for Cincinnati’s entry:

“If it’s any indication of the quality of Cincinnati chili, the National Press Club (NPC) received more than its managers wanted – only to have to confess to Sen. Robert Taft Jr. (R-Ohio) demand was so heavy the club ran out before the city’s ‘chili week’ did. The big test comes Thursday night at the ‘chili cook-off,’ with Taft expected at the NPC to defend his hometown’s brand against that of Sens. Barry Goldwater (R-Ariz), John Tower (R-Texas) and champions of other recipes.”

Alas, Senator Taft and Cincinnati did not triumph, and were ridiculed mercilessly. The editor of the Princeton Alumni Weekly lampooned Ohio’s entry in his introduction to Starr’s article:

“The Cincinnati team arrived in an immense limousine with a huge tub of chili that slopped over the edges onto the floor of the car and onto its shoes. It did not win.”

George Kentera of the Detroit News recorded the following exchange:

“’You can’t even get close enough to get any of that Ohio chili,’ said one taster.

“‘They’re all jammed around there to give it back,’ said another, disenchanted with chili served with spaghetti and cheese.”

Almost as maligned as Cincinnati’s chili was Lindy Bogg’s Louisiana entry, a concoction containing andouille sausage, Tabasco sauce and red wine.

The cook-off was declared a draw, with Senator Tower’s Texas chili winning the popular vote and Senator Goldwater’s Arizona chili taking honors from a politically assembled “panel of experts.” Senator Montoya’s New Mexican chili placed second in both competitions.

Although Cincinnati was an also-ran in the Great Chili War of 1974, we shall leave Professor Starr with the last word on this topic:

“What do Jerry Rubin and Robert A. Taft, Jr., have in common? Precious little, of course. But both know that without question the best chili on earth is made in their home town, Cincinnati. And only in Cincinnati. Thirty miles down the Ohio, in Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, Cincinnati chili is unknown. The same distance up stream, in Moscow, Ohio, it is alien as Peking duck.”

[pokemaniacal]

Pokémon Moon, Episode 10: In Which I Am Recruited To A Cultural Revolution

Apparently, just like many Pokémon… Professor Oak has an Alolan form.  He has dark skin, a mullet, and a Hawaiian shirt, his name is Samson rather than Samuel, and he claims to be a cousin of the Professor Oak I know from Kanto, but other than that he seems like exactly the same sanctimonious, incompetent, guilt-tripping whack-a-doodle that I’ve known for pretty much my entire life as a trainer.  Even better, it turns out that this version of him helped to build the Rotomdex, so the aggravating little thing basically worships the ground he walks on.  If he runs research projects anything like his “cousin” does, most of his data is probably gathered by unpaid teenage Pokémon trainers, so I thank my lucky stars he doesn’t seem to have any “requests” for me to take care of, then take my leave as abruptly as I can.  As it turns out, I needn’t have hurried; Lillie has been held up, talking to that woman with the Mudsdale, Hapu, whom I met back on Akala Island.  Still not sure what her deal is.  She’s clearly powerful and makes a point of giving out help and guidance as she travels, but she doesn’t wear a Captain’s wooden clover-shaped insignia, and I don’t think she’s a Kahuna either.  If anything, she acts a lot like Champions I’ve met in the past, but I’m not sure Alola even has a Champion.  I briefly consider tailing her instead, but decide against it: Lillie could accomplish all sorts of treachery with the forbidden knowledge of the Malie Library. I sneak inside behind her, discreetly ducking behind a shelf of magazines as she heads up the stairs.

Once I’m upstairs, peering at Lillie from a distance with my face hidden behind an open book, it becomes clear that she is meeting a contact here.  This slight, purple-haired girl, wearing a ragged, patchy dress, is named Acerola, and she’s wearing a Captain’s insignia.  The conspiracy must go far deeper than I imagined! From snippets of their conversation, I learn that Lillie seems to be seeking a legendary Pokémon called Lunala – “the beast that calls the moon,” who appeared after “the empty sky broke asunder.”  According to legend, Lunala “stole all heaven’s light,” forced the king of Alola to bow before it, and defeated all four of the Tapu guardians.  Then there’s something about “bringing the dark,” “casting a pall on the line of kings,” and “marking the path for all finished things,” fairly standard doom-cult stuff, but then a reference to some sort of mystic union between the moon and sun, which brought new life to Alola.  The line about the sky breaking asunder must refer to an Ultra Wormhole, and Lunala must be an Ultra Beast – one who conquered Alola in ancient times, cut off the entire region from the light of the sun, moon and stars, and ended a great dynasty of Alolan monarchs, forcing the new line of kings to worship it so it would spare their people.  It’s worse than I feared!  Lillie wants to summon a terrible legendary Pokémon to cover the entire archipelago in darkness and crown herself Empress of the Unfathomable Night!  I must uncover more details of her plan, so someone who actually cares can stop her!

Or. I mean.  I guess I could do it.  If no one else will.

Lillie remains ensconced in the library, hunting forbidden lore, and once she stops talking to Acerola I can’t easily observe her activities without alerting her, so I quietly exit the library and head out of Malie City to explore.  I’ve beaten two out of four Kahunas now, and according to Professor Kukui there’s another Captain up on Mount Hokulani, so I may as well go for it.  I acquire a couple of new evolutions – the Alolan Ghost Marowak, the Alolan Persian (who has an odd, deformed-looking spherical head), and Steenee, the evolved form of Bounsweet, a ballerina-like fruit Pokémon who is fast shaping up to be this generation’s exemplar of “Grass Pokémon don’t get nice things.”  South of Malie City, I also discover an entirely new Pokémon – Komala, a blue-grey Normal-type koala Pokémon.  It doesn’t seem to evolve, and its stats are by no means exceptional, and it’s mostly interesting because of a peculiar ability: Comatose.  Komala is perpetually subject to the “drowsy” status inflicted by Yawn, but never actually falls asleep; this effectively confers immunity not only to sleep but to all major status conditions.  I eventually decide to head along the west road to the base of Mount Hokulani, where there should be a stop on the bus route to the summit.  I notice as I approach the bus stop that there are two people waiting already… and then that those two people are Team Skull grunts; B, whom I originally met in Hau’oli City, and the same guy who was with him at the Ruins of Life.  Well, this isn’t so bad; maybe if I can get to know them in a less antagonistic situation, we can build a rapport and… 

…wait, are they… trying to steal the bus stop?

“What? You never see somebody take a bus stop to go before?” the second grunt asks bluntly when he notices me staring. “…honestly? No.  No I have not.”  The bus stop has no shelter or seats; it’s literally just a road sign, with a heavy concrete base buried in the ground to prevent… well, exactly this, as far as I can tell.  Both Team Skull grunts are scrabbling in the dirt around the base, trying to dig it out so they can carry it off.  “Um… do you… need some help with that?”  B looks up at me, confused. “Hey, yo! You trying to steal our bus stop?” he accuses me.  “Best go find your own, ya hear?!�� “Yeah, fo’ shizzle!” the other grunt declares.  “It’s on, yo!”  He gets to his feet and calls out his Raticate. “Look, guys, I don’t… can we seriously not do this?  I don’t care, I just- WHOA!” I dodge as the Raticate lunges at me, and send out my Dartrix, who makes short work of it with a couple of Razor Leaf barrages. “Dang, I lost?”  He looks dismayed at first, but then perks up.  “Then my homie’s gotta fight you!  That’s just life in Team Skull.”  B reaches for his Pokéball, and I turn towards him. “Dude, please don’t make me do this; I’d feel like I’m kicking a Togepi…” B stamps his foot angrily. “We stand up even to the strong, yo!” he shouts.  “We stand up, even if it ain’t for long, yo!”  I blink.  That… actually sounds kind of brave.  I mean… it’s a bit weird to take a stand like this over a bus stop, but hey, baby steps. I smile at him. “That’s the spirit.  Game on!” I send out my Slowpoke.  B throws his Pokéball, and a Golbat emerges.  My smile broadens.  “Huh; your Zubat evolved!  Maybe we can make a half-decent trainer out of you yet!”  B glares back. “Yo, we prattlin’ or we battlin’?” he demands.  Well, someone’s got something to prove.  I shrug, and our Pokémon charge into battle.  Or, I mean, his Golbat charges in, and my Slowpoke kinda just sits there, because she’s a Slowpoke and that’s what they do.  The Golbat flies circles around her for a while and gets in a couple of nasty Bites, but inevitably gets knocked out of the sky by a Psychic blast.  With a defeated sigh, B recalls his Golbat, and slouches.  “I don’t know if you care, but that bus stop weighs about as much as a Golem,” he says regretfully. “I’m sure it’s not that heavy,” I say kindly, then take hold of the bus stop with both hands and pull.  It doesn’t budge.  “…okay…” I say, panting, “okay, it’s pretty heavy.” “You really don’t care ‘bout us tryin’ to gank that shiz, homie?” the other grunt asks me curiously. “I… guess a little?  But it’s just a bus stop; it’s not like you’re trying to steal Pokémon again.”  I pause, and take another look at the bus stop. “…are you?  This isn’t, like… some weird Alolan bus stop Pokémon.  Uh… right?” I ask, glancing at the Rotomdex. “Zzzzzt! I’ll give you twooooo guessezzz, boss!” the Rotomdex answers. “Smart-arse.” “Yo, think about the bus drivers!” B exclaims. “If we take this bus stop, they can all chill!” “That’s…” I stop and think for a moment.  “That’s actually kind of sweet.”  B’s face reddens for some reason.  “I mean, I don’t think public transport… really works that way, exactly? I’m pretty sure this would just confuse everyone.” “So you ain’t gonna help us either?” B asks.  I shrug. “Eh. What the hell.”  I grab the bus stop sign again.  “Okay, guys, on three.”  They both take hold of the sign too.  “One… two… THREE!”  All three of us heave with all our might, and slowly but surely, the heavy concrete base begins to inch out of the soil around it… until something gives way, and it all breaks free in an instant, sending us sprawling in a tangled pile on the ground.  A shadow passes over the heap of knotted limbs. “…do I even want to know?” Professor Kukui asks. “Someone’s foot is in my face,” I answer calmly.  I peer curiously at the shoe.  “I think it’s mine.”

Once the Team Skull grunts have left, Professor Kukui and I wave down the next bus and head up to the summit of Mount Hokulani, the site of an advanced astronomical observatory that takes full advantage of the mountain’s isolation from light pollution.  Despite its magnificence, Hokulani is only the second-tallest mountain in Alola – second to Mount Lanakila, visible off in the distance to the southwest.  Lanakila is the focus of Kukui’s greatest ambition; the big contribution he wants his life to make to Alola.  There, at its summit, close to the celestial realm of Alola’s legendary Pokémon, is where he wants to form an Alolan Pokémon League.  Alola’s four Kahunas will appoint a Champion who will be recognised by fellow Leagues all over the world.  Kukui’s plan calls for nothing less than a cultural revolution in Alolan Pokémon training, bringing the region into the 21st century – and Hau and I, the most recent trainers to begin the island challenge, are vital parts of his plan.  Well, I guess as a foreigner, and a former title-holder myself, I am in something of a unique position to help him.  It’s a more persuasive argument for completing the island challenge than Tapu Koko ever offered me, anyway.  For that matter, modernising Alola’s traditions seems like something that would really annoy the Tapu without actually giving them any excuse to smite me.

Before taking on the observatory’s trial, I explore the mountain a little bit, fight some trainers, and discover another new Pokémon: Minior, a floating meteorite Pokémon with a gleaming gem-like core surrounded by a rocky outer shell that breaks apart when it takes damage.  Despite not being a bird, not flying with wings, and not having any wind powers, Minior’s type is Rock/Flying, because clearly the Flying type made way too much sense in generation VI.  When I return to the summit, Kukui introduces me to an old friend and travelling companion of his: a trainer named Molayne, who works at the observatory and was once its Captain (I’ve learned elsewhere that Captains traditionally give up their positions when they turn 20).  By way of introduction, Molayne challenges me to a battle, and my Toucannon obligingly explodes his team of Steel-types – a Skarmory, a Metang, and… an Alolan Dugtrio, whose heads each sport a luxurious surfer’s mane of golden hair.  I… still don’t quite understand why these are Steel-types, unless their hair is literally made of gold wire or something. In any case, Molayne decides that this victory proves I’m ready for the Mount Hokulani trial, and ushers me inside to meet the current Captain, Sophocles.

Wait, Sophocles?  The grumpy-as-$#!t Cartman knock-off who runs the Festival Plaza? 

…yeah. Turns out he’s totally a Captain. A very young Captain, who recently inherited the role from Molayne, his cousin, as a result of “unusual circumstances” that prevented Ula’ula’s Kahuna from appointing a new Captain when Molayne became too old.  Sophocles is… well, doing his best, but clearly not ideal for the role; he’s nervous, awkward, doesn’t know how to talk to challengers, seems more concerned with his inventions and the Festival Plaza than with running the Hokulani trial, and isn’t particularly interested in doing things by the book.  He doesn’t lead me to a special trial site; instead, he has a plan to have his Totem Pokémon come to us, summoning it with an experimental device that broadcasts ultrasonic signals from space (…or something). I am certain that nothing here could possibly go wrong.

Something instantly goes wrong.

Sophocles’ device broadcasts its signal, then immediately blows a fuse, taking out all the lights and triggering a lockdown in the observatory’s security system. Sophocles claims he can sense the Totem Pokémon’s approach, but we’re going to need to deal with the lockdown first – by passing an audio quiz.  The obstinate system opens the lab’s doors just long enough to let in a wild Pokémon every time I successfully identify the sounds it’s making – the Pokémon Centre heal tone, the Rotomdex’s startup tone, Charjabug’s cry.  My Pikachu successfully defeats the Grubbin and Charjabug that turn up first, and my Raticate handles a second Charjabug.  At last, Sophocles’ Totem Pokémon arrives: Vikavolt, an ugly-as-sin but undeniably badass flying electrical beetle, whose aura, in contrast to the other Totems I’ve fought so far, buffs all of its stats.  My Pikachu manages to hurl out a Catastropika and a Volt Tackle before being knocked out, and my Salandit follows up with Toxic.  This whole time there’s a Charjabug assisting the Vikavolt with Mud Slaps and Thunder Waves, just to annoy me.  Finally though, with Vikavolt weakened, my Dartrix finishes it off with Pluck. Meanwhile, Molayne restores the observatory’s power and deactivates the security system, releasing us.  He and Sophocles reward me with not one but two Z-Crystals: Sophocles’ Electrium-Z and Molayne’s Steelium-Z.  Molayne also hands me Professor Kukui’s Masked Royal lucha mask, which he apparently left up here, and asks me to give it to him at Malie Garden.

Returning to Malie Garden, I find Professor Kukui almost immediately, but he’s somewhat preoccupied, deep in a debate with none other than the two Team Skull grunts who were trying to steal the bus stop earlier. “You say you wanna make a Pokémon League?” B asks him incredulously.  “You got rocks in your skull?”  Kukui grins and holds up four fingers. “Four turns!”  The grunts look at each other, confused. “Huh?” “I’ve been researching Pokémon moves, so I’m always ready!  I’ll take you both on in a Battle Royal!”  The watching crowd cheers.  I allow myself a smirk as the grunts shuffle nervously.  Suddenly, B notices me and catches my eye over Kukui’s shoulder.  His expression goes stern and he balls his fists. “F-fine!” he blurts at Kukui.  “You asked for it!”  I widen my eyes and shake my head at B vigorously, dragging a finger across my neck.  This is… not going to be pretty.  Much as I hate to admit it, Professor Kukui knows his $#!t.  As he prepares to battle, though, a murmur sweeps through the crowd.  People chatter nervously, there are a couple of scattered ‘boo’s, and I hear a name repeated over and over: “Guzma!”  The crowd behind the two Team Skull grunts parts as a young man swaggers up.  He’s in maybe his late 20s, dressed in Team Skull black and white, with a shock of white hair, and shows off his team’s stylised S-skull logo in both a gaudy gold necklace and a pair of purple forearm tattoos. “Battle Royal, huh?” the newcomer drawls.  “Nice idea there, Kukui.  You can beat down three Pokémon at once?”  Both grunts instantly adopt postures of total deference. “The boss has graced us with his presence!” “The hated boss who beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up… Yeah. Big bad Guzma is here!” Guzma says, his voice rising with each phrase.  He raises his arms into the air.  “GREETINGS, COWERING PUBLIC!  We have an exciting bout for you tonight!  In the opposing corner, the Pokémon professor Kukui!  And in this corner, the boss of Team Skull and the hardest guy around, Guzma!” Kukui thinks for a moment, smirks, and this time holds out both hands. “Seven turns.”  Guzma growls at him angrily. “This move fanatic is getting me all riled up!” “Let’s see it then, Guzma,” Kukui taunts him.  “Show me your moves and prove you aren’t all talk!  If you can… right, Chris?”  I blink a couple of times and hastily glance around, searching for some other Chris he might have meant, or perhaps a convenient bush to dive into. “Uh… what?” I ask lamely.  Guzma frowns. “So you’re one of the kids on his island challenge?  You don’t look like Hala’s grandson.”  Where the hell is Hau? Why doesn’t anyone ever make him handle cr@p like this!? “This here’s Chris,” Kukui explains proudly.  “He just moved to Alola recently.  Discovery!  Adventure! He’s loving every minute!” “Love is a very strong word,” I hastily clarify. “It’s… really more of a passive marinating process.”  Guzma chuckles. “You’ve got a Z-Ring, huh, kid?” he observes.  “Why even bother with the island challenge?”  I shrug. “I’m gonna be honest, inertia is a pretty big part of it at this point.”  He roars with laughter. “HAHA! You don’t even know why you’re doing it!”  He turns his attention back to the Professor.  “You see, Kukui?  Here we are, fellow rejects who could never become Captains.  We’ve got all these mouldy old traditions in Alola – the Kahunas, the Captains… it’s about time we cut out all that silly garbage and make something new for ourselves.  Trust me, I get that.  Don’t get me wrong though, Kukui.  I’ve got no need for a Pokémon League.  After all, everyone already knows who the strongest trainer is on these islands!” “Speak for yourself, Guzma,” Kukui begins. “Well, hang on, though,” I interrupt, raising my hand for quiet.  “He’s sort of got a point.”  Both men look at me quizzically.  “I mean, I want to get rid of Alola’s whacko bird cults and volcano rituals and freaky voodoo $#!t as much as anyone.  You could at least cut out the human sacrifices.”  Kukui goes stony-faced at that. “How did you know about-?” “Didn’t. I was totally going off random guesswork and thinly-veiled racism.  Until now. Seriously, dude!?”  He looks sheepish.  “But the point is, there’s no reason modernising Alola means you have to do everything like Kanto and Johto, with a Pokémon League and a Champion.  I mean, have you met Kanto’s Elite Four?  I have!  They live in a castle in the middle of nowhere and they all hate each other!”  Guzma guffaws. “I like this kid!”  I turn on him. “And you! What do you think you’re doing, running a gang with all these… debatably innocent kids?  I mean, these two?  They wouldn’t hurt a fly.  I’m not sure they could if they tried.  How tough do you have to be to bully them around, anyway?”  Guzma is fuming now.  Meanwhile, B is now looking at me with his eyes wide, shaking his head, and dragging a finger across his neck.  I just wink at him.  Guzma looks back and forth between us a couple of times in utter confusion, then remembers his wounded pride. “Watch closely, Kukui,” he growls.  “Someday I’m gonna destroy you.  But first, I’ll destroy everything you care about!  WANNA SEE WHAT DESTRUCTION LOOKS LIKE?  HERE IT IS IN HUMAN FORM – IT’S YOUR BOY, GUZMA!”  Guzma roars and hurls a Pokéball as I send out my Raticate.  Guzma’s Pokémon is a hulking mass of insectoid chitin and muscle that he calls a Golisopod. Okay, I think to myself, it doesn’t look that fast, so- “First Impression!” “Wait what.”  There is a sickening crunch, and my Raticate sails through the air past my shoulder making a mournful wailing noise.  “…ah.” Well, that didn’t work.  I send in my Salandit and command her to use Inferno Overdrive, which puts a dent in the Golisopod, but it strikes back with a Razor Shell that knocks her out immediately.  Huh.  I squint at the Golisopod, and realise what it is: the evolved form of that pathetic bottom-feeding silverfish, Wimpod!  I WANT ONE. Secure in knowing what I’m dealing with, I throw my Toucannon into the ring and fire off a Beak Blast that flattens Golisopod.  That seems to be Guzma’s strongest Pokémon; his only other is an Ariados, no match for a Toucannon.  Guzma becomes visibly enraged as his Pokémon drop. “GUZMA!!!” he explodes.  “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?  NOW’S THE TIME FOR YOUR VAUNTED TEAM TO LET LOOSE AND DESTROY EVERYTHING!” “Dude, chill,” I tell him.  “Has anyone ever told you to get a hobby?”  Guzma just growls unintelligibly, turns around and storms off.

As Guzma leaves, the two grunts linger for a little while, over by one of the garden pools.  The second one jabs B in the side with an elbow and jerks his head over at me.  B shakes his head vigorously and makes a couple of gang signs I still can’t recognise or interpret.  His friend just glares at him sternly, points at me, then turns his back to me, folds his arms, and starts tapping his foot.  B says something to him, but he just stands there, stony-faced.  With a sigh, B slouches over in my direction and fixes his gaze on my feet. “Mmmsrrrrytrrrdt’stlllyrpkmmnn,” he mumbles. “…what?” I ask, genuinely confused. “M’mm sorry we tried t’steal y’rr Pokémon,” he mumbles again, this time just loud enough for me to make out what he’s trying to say.  “Back on ‘mele Island.” “Oh.” I fumble for the words to respond, taken aback by the apology.  “Well, I… um. Thanks.  That can’t have been easy to say.  I’m, uh… glad you felt you could do that.” “Listen,” he mutters, still looking at my feet.  “Don’t mess with the boss, yo.  You don’t want him to get serious.  You’d…” He wrenches his eyes away from the ground and looks right at me. “You’d get straight messed up, homie.” I try to smile at him. “It’ll be okay.  I’ve dealt with bigger, crazier whackos than Guzma.”  B glances back at the other grunt. “Yo, I gotta split.  See you round?” “Definitely.”  As I watch them leave, Professor Kukui presses something into my hand, saying something about a signature move for Dartrix’s evolved form, but I’m not really listening.  I think it’s time Guzma’s gang started standing up to him…

Ridiculous quote log:

“Our safe driving record will absolutely slay you!” …I think you may have missed the essential purpose of safe driving, Exeggutor Express. 

The team:

Tane the Dartrix Male, Timid nature, Overgrow ability Level 33 Steel Wing, Razor Leaf, Synthesis, Pluck 

Rhea the Toucannon Female, Lax nature, Keen Eye ability Level 33 Screech, Roost, Beak Blast, Brick Break 

Ashley the Pikachu Female, Timid nature, Static ability Level 33 Volt Tackle, Hidden Power (Ice), Nasty Plot, Nuzzle 

Hypatia the Slowpoke Female, Hardy nature, Own Tempo ability Level 33 Psychic, Yawn, Façade, Scald 

Soot the Raticate Female, Hardy nature, Hustle ability Level 33 Crunch, U-Turn, Hyper Fang, Focus Energy 

Joanna the Salazzle Female, Timid nature, Corrosion ability Level 33 Flame Burst, Nasty Plot, Dragon Rage, Toxic

[komicoshea]

Hey Plastic Addicts. SDCC is this weekend (time flies doesn’t it) and in preparation for it i have been doing an ideal wave for the last couple of weeks.   Both of the previous ones have been based around up coming films (MCU’s Captain Marvel and Fox’s New Mutants). However there are 4 more movies out next year that I want to be able to make an Ideal Wave for. While I will be holding off on the Avengers and Spider-man movies in their own wave for a bit, there are 2 Fox Movies that I think I have to combine, those being the Dark Phoenix Saga movie and the (supposedly out next year) Gambit movie. Why combine the 2? Because they are both the X-men and the chance of the Gambit movie actually coming out next year is low.

However, I will be making this (Comic based) wave as if Gambit is coming out next year. It is also highly possible that he will get a figure next year as he has been the most requested character and the one with the easiest repaint to come out. I will also be putting in character from the Dark Phoenix saga. However, I will not be including Jean Grey as she has had 2 version of the Phoenix out in recent years. While I could put her Jim Lee version, the wave for a Dark Phoenix theme should be her Phoenix persona so it would be weird for her to be in another costume.

As Always here are the rules I set for myself:

6-8 figures per wave. No more. No less.

Some version of the Title hero most be in it (For the X-men, there most be a Wolverine)

1 or 2 Female per wave.

1 or 2 Villains per wave, but these could be female as well.

1 or 2 brand new character that has never been done before

1 or 2 remakes. The Remakes can also be new costumes as Like Classic Spider-man or Iron Spider.

Each wave most have a Theme ie Spider-man can include Street Level heroes or Iron Man can include Tech Heroes and villains.

The Theme for this wave: Gambit and Dark Phoenix saga

Wolverine (Fang Costume)

Starting off with the “Has-to-be-in-the-wave” figure we have Wolverine. Now while Hasbro have tons of version they need to do (or redo) like the First Appearance or the X-Force versions, I think since this is base around the Dark Phoenix saga and during that saga, the team fought the Imperial Guard of the Shi’Ar Empire, I think Hasbro could go back a small bit to when they fought the Guard before and Wolverin had his costume destroy so he stole Fang’s costume and wore it for a while. Not only that but since people are sick of getting Wolverine, a simply head and hands swap we get a new character in Fang. Obviously this will use the Wolverine build with new arms and lower legs.

Gambit (Jim Lee)

Next we have Gambit. Whether he is getting a movie next year or not, Hasbro really needs to make him. For this, I think it’s almost guaranteed that most people will want his Jim Lee or his Original Appearance.  While it is obvious that the  Multiple Man Jacket and arms will be used for him, I think Hasbro should redo the base Bucky Cap body and not make the details painted on. He should also come with a Card throwing effect similar to Dagger and Bullseye. But for the love god, Hasbro do not give use DD / Moon Knight / Mockingbird billy clubs. They do not suit Gambit. Instead create a new staff for use to use.

Emma Frost

Taking up one of both the Female spot and the remake spots, we have Emma Frost. She was introduced in the Dark Phoenix saga, so I think this wave makes a perfect spot for her to be slotted. While we will NEVER get the White Queen version (for obvious PC reasons), I think the costume she wore in the Utopia era would be perfect version for her to come in (plus it goes with the Utopia Cyclops and Colossus). As many people have guessed already, this will be mostly a repaint of the Typhoid Mary figure with new arms and a new cape.

Lilandra

Next up we have the Shi’Ar Empress and Xavier’s former wife, Lilandra. Hasbro has actually thought about making her. She was one of the choose in the Toy Fair magazine Fan Poll (see here)but lost out to AOA Sunfire. With her making her movie appearance in the upcoming movie, I think it’s about time we get her out. I don’t mind which version of her we get, as long as it’s some kind of armor version. This could use the Kate Bishop mold with re-sculpted parts and they could probably use the spear that came with Black Panther wave Namor for her staff.

Teen Cyclops

Next up with have the last of the X-men heroes, Cyclops. Cyclops of course was a huge part of the Dark Phoenix saga but we already got that version in the Dark Phoenix 2-pack from last year. Instead I though it would be a great Idea to give us the Teen Cyclops from the past, particularly the one from the Champions. Why? 2 reasons. One is that it will bring us closer to completing that team, with only TA Hulk and Vivian left but both of them could be slotted into an Avengers wave. The second reason is it will allow Hasbro to use the totally under utilized teenage body mold that was used for both his teammates, Mile Morales and Kid Nova.

Mr. Sinister

Taking up the first villain slot we have Mr. Sinister. The villain has been a menace to mostly the X-men but if you were to ask some one who was both Gambit’s and Cyclops arch-enemy, most will say this guy. Toybiz made a version of this in their Sentinel series but that has become hard to find for newer collectors. This figure will be a all new sculpt as his design is too unique to use another figure.

Sebastian Shaw

Taking the last spot in this wave we have the former leader of the Hellfire Club as well as one of the villains behind the Dark Phoenix saga, Sebastian Shaw. While I would love his Hellfire version, I think for the sake of making this easier for Hasbro to make, as that version would require too many new parts, I think his shirtless martial artist look would be perfect for him ( I mean have a look some of the fantastic Customs ) I would pick the more recent black pants and grey sash though as the green and yellow one look too much like Iron Fist. He can be done on the Spider-UK mold with the lighting effect that came with Storm.

Warstar

Taking the BAF we have an Imperial Guard member who actually had an old Toybiz 5inch figure before, the brother B’Nee and C’cll, together known as Warstar. I honestly was thinking of either these guys or Titan but pick this guys as people have actually been asking for him. Not only that but it will guy us another member of the Guard alongside the Fang figure above. This will obviously use the Iron Monger / Mandriod build. I mean look at the big guy. He is basically the same design as does. The smaller fella with be a very limited articulated figure that will come with the Cyclops but has the ability to clip onto the big guy.

  Well that my version of what would make the Ideal wave for both the Dark Phoenix movie and the Gambit movie. It has more of the Dark Phoenix in it then the Gambit but that’s only because we don’t have any confirmation that Gambit is coming out next year (or whether it will be good or not).

Let me know what you think in the comments before or on any of the social media sites. This will be the last post this week that is not a News post. Be sure to check sites like Marvelousnews.com for all the SDCC news and updates this weekend. I will be posting News as they come out and since I work evenings in Ireland when they things are revealed, when I get the chance.

Ideal Wave – X-men Wave version 2 Hey Plastic Addicts. SDCC is this weekend (time flies doesn't it) and in preparation for it i have been doing an ideal wave for the last couple of weeks.