#with just breathing
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being traumatized is so embarrassing sometimes like oooogh my mom was mean to me when i was little so now i want to eviscerate myself anytime i think i’ve done something wrong. fuck you
#🍜#that’s so STUPID#the urge to just. be a fucking person vs the urge to apologize for using up the oxygen i breathe#🦠
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IM GOING TO PUNCH A HOLE IN SOMEONES CAR
#WHAT THE FUCK MAN#caps#you're not evil dont worry I love you#BUT WHAT THE FUCK. I feel like sisyphus now#if I just blow my nose again it'll be clear right. right guys. if I get the mucus out I can breathe#IM GONNA BE ILLL IM SO ANGRY
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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back on my bullshit
#everyone's favorite lesbian couple <3 <3 <3#loz#legend of zelda#botw#totk#breath of the wild#tears of the kingdom#zelink#skribbles#needed to draw something that wasnt for school or linktober. somehow still landed on zelda fanart. idk either#these should be up as stickers on my redbubble within the next like 20 mins btw. just in case that information entices anyone
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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🗣️ huh?? what do you mean I haven’t posted any Link signing propaganda yet??
#doodled a little comic bc I think the link/korok relationship is adorable#this is also pro-korok propaganda#anyways um#I used to hc that link signed in botw (for obvious reasons)#but after the calamity he gained more confidence in speaking#so now he only signs when he’s uncomfortable speaking around someone or just not in the mood to talk#sometimes he signs while speaking out of habit#thank you for coming to my ted talk#im sorry hes just so important to me IM SAD#I used to learn asl but now I forgot please forgive my mistakes OTL#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#loz#loz art#Zelda#loz tears of the kingdom#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#totk#botw#totk link#korok#Nintendo#art#my art
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it is continually inspiring to me that there is a nearly middle aged man who writes for a sports website who posts like us, truly the posters spirit can be found anywhere
#marissa and i were literally out of breath laughing going down his stuff he's just so fucking funny
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"content creator" is a corporate word.
we are artists.
#anti ai#fuck ai#artists on tumblr#please do not call me or any artist a content creator#i'm an artist. a fanartist. a designer. but not a content creator#ai clowns in my replies will be deleted and blocked without response so do not waste your breath#you are not an 'artist' for generating an image any more than you are a chef for ordering from a restaurant. someone Else did the work.#owen dennis just deleted all his blue sky stuff again and i hate that he does that because he makes such interesting comments#about the entertainment industry lmao i need to just. start screenshotting every smart thing he says#anyway thats why i decided to finally make this when its been sitting in drafts for a few months#owen dennis#edit - if you dont know who owen dennis is he's the creator of one of the best animated series of the last 20 years (Infinity Train)#he's very open about talking about art and the entertainment/animation industry on social media and in his newsletter and hes so cool 4 it
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Ghosts Tell Me
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Ghosts gather near the place where something bad is going to happen,
Danny with his ghost sense tends to notice before anyone else and tends to react outwardly before the danger even happens, gaining a reputation of seeing the future,
Ghosts also tell Danny things, causing Danny to know more about situations and the people around him, it comes of as suspicious.
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Danny pulling away a snack from his coworker: "Careful your allergic to these ingredients!"
Coworker: "How the hell...I've never mentioned that to anyone."
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Danny on a phone call with his friends while doing his nightly walks in Gotham: "Yeah so apparently the second Robin who is now Red Hood has very personal beef with the clown here cuz he got killed by him after being sold out by his bio mom, which really sucks for the poor guy."
Oracle who has been keeping an Eye on Danny cuz he's very suspicious from an outsiders pov: "Hey B, I think we have a problem."
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Danny notices that the ghost in Gotham tends to gather where something bad is going to happen, the more they are the worse the situation will be: *glowing smoke leaves from his mouth* "Yikes! Very bad vibes here, nope!"
Gothamites who at this point recognize him and know the drill and quickly pack up their things to leave:
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Just an Idea
#Danny is getting all the good gossip from the ghosts#Gothamites after seeing Danny breathe out glowing smoke#“Ok wrap it up”#“Not dying today”#Oracle can't hack Danny's phone and that just makes him look worse#ghost parents telling Danny to go smack their kids cuz they've been “acting out”#Danny then proceeds to smack villains and their goons#only saying “your parent *insert name* sent me!”#“now behave”#glowy-death-ideas#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc x dp#batman#danny fenton#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc
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LINKTOBER DAY 20: ZORA WELLSPRING
Sidon plays packhorse. Link and Zelda play with electricity and water. Everybody leaves happy except for the fried aerocuda.
(Something’s in the water temple.)
This is a self indulgent totk au called Familiar Familiar where link and zelda travel through upheaval hyrule! Masterpost can be found here:
Patreon here too, if you wanna feed me a slice of bread like a duck
#art#critdraws#lonks diary#familiar familiar au#loz#zelda#link#botw#totk#totk au#botw au#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#sidon#prince sidon#aerocuda#mucktorok#botw link#botw zelda#botw sidon#totk sidon#totk link#totk zelda#look the mucktorok is a genuinely fascinating weird little guy#i may hate that boss fight but its pochita esque pulsating heart thing is COOL okay#anyways the weird gravity thing happens too i just couldnt fit it into the script#((also yes!! those r yonas gifts from the last comic being put in use. everybody say ty yona)#i am never designing architecture ever again get ready for milktoast for the next to regions#loz comic
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Guardian swap au for 4/13 ^ ^
#for claritys sake. these versions of the kids are functionally the same character just with different upbringings#like dave still likes music rose still likes knitting (though she has to hide it because bro will throw her yarn off the roof)#jade still likes science. john still likes movies etc. their nature is the same its the nurture thats different#beta kids#homestuck#homestuck humans#guardian swap au#fanart#fan art#Dave strider#dave lalonde#rose lalonde#rose strider#john egbert#june egbert#john Harley#June Harley#jade harley#jade egbert#homestuck au#bro strider#classpect#witch of breath#heir of space#seer of time#knight of light#hs#digital art#implied abuse. Rose is losing at strife and injured#413
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Well it was working fine for him!
#the legend of zelda#tloz tears of the kingdom#totk#zelda#tears of the kingdom#link#loz link#zelda botw#botw#breath of the wild#roommates#hateno village#comic#botw link#loz botw#art tag#fanart#im just coming up with ideas on how the house changed hands between the games#tloz#legend of zelda
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it's august so remember to live for the hope it all
#also please don't start being weird on my asks for this#im not a stan but i do really like this song#and a few others#just breathe and you'll be ok
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this is the funniest outcome ever
[Image description: digital art of Bill Cipher, tangled up in electrical wires. He has a nervous expression, as he holds up a ripped wire and says: "Oops!" There's a glitchy effect behind him. End ID.]
#LMAAAAAAAO#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#the book of bill spoilers#oh! context just in case: its literally just technical difficulties all thats left to do is just wait patiently#remember to drink water! and walk! and stretch and eat! and breath! your body needs it!#i need it!#edit: thank you to anistarrose for the id! and of reminding me that i gotta start getting on them more
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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My genuine reaction while playing tears of the kingdom
#listen Yona is cute I was just SHOCKED#BOTW#TOTK#LOZ#legend of zelda#sidlink#link x Sidon#link#Sidon#Nintendo#comic#Yona#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild
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