#why did that stupid lil shit die | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chirpycloudyrobin · 6 months ago

Text

Masterlist || START || Next

im just thinking abt an au where wwx actually did die at the burial mounds but him surviving long enough there and even pioneering a new branch of cultivation to do so was enough to punt his ghost straight up to wrath rank. however he is unaware that hes actually dead since hes too focused on his goal to absolutely decimate wen chao to pay attention to his bodily functions/needs or lack thereof.

everyone else gets this feeling that something is off with wwx but they figure its just heebie jeebies from the demonic cultivation. it's only until wwx went back to the burial mounds with the wen remnants that it sinks in that hes dead. but then he realises that if this gets out, the cultivation world will be hunting for his head more viciously so he keeps this very tightly under wraps. all this secret keeping and exhaustion and starvation just makes wwx a teensy bit more volatile but at least he has his own little family to keep him sane.

until shit starts to go downhill. and it just keeps on going. until everyone is gone and hes the only one left standing and he needs to destroy the stupid fucking seal and keep the others from discovering where he hid a-yuan so he takes his chances and pours his everything into destroying the seal. except this time hes a little more powerful than he wouldve been if he was mortal and he levels part of the burial mounds before he went. and thus was the last of wwx.

or was it ?

the world believes wwx to be dead ("good riddance") but actually hes still kicking and in a more incorporeal form. he had to retreat somewhere deep in the burial mounds to recover and thus was unable to see that lwj had come back and taken a severely feverish a-yuan with him. wwx thinks everyone is dead and gone and everything was all for naught so he stews in his mistakes and tries to repent while stitching himself back together.

sometime after, he ends up in mount tonglu which was reopened because the aftershocks of the destruction of the stygian tiger seal were strong enough to disturb mount tonglu's magma chamber of resentment basically. so for ~12 years wwx was in there fighting his way thru which was why he didnt answer to lwj's calls

wwx survives as the last standing ghost after the slaughter and stews in the kiln for another month and a half or so. this would be around the time mxy is preparing to summon wwx's ghost for the summoning.

so imagine wwx just came out of the thing as a newly minted supreme/ghost king and hes immediately yanked to where mxy is. wwx's soul isnt stuffed into mxy's newly-emptied physical body since hes a ghost king this time around. still, he helps mxy but in the shadows bc hes still not keen on getting yoinked just when he returned to the mortal world.

everything proceeds as canon, with wwx sharing mxy's body via possession at some points for the comedy gold and the bit (because he would !! let the man be silly)

after that he absolutely yanks mxy outta there after lwj arrives (just after he spends like 5 minutes staring at lwj's beauty of course) and decides hes gonna adopt this sad little wet cat and teach him the actual proper ways of cultivation and steer him away from demonic cultivation bc tbh it's just not worth it esp since mxy has a golden core and who knows how demonic cultivation will affect a golden core-

anyways

wwx decides to do a silly little makeover so he wouldnt be recognised by any of his old acquaintances. his new appearance ends up a weird lil mix between himself and mxy, enough to claim that theyre distant cousins and normal rogue cultivators just starting out. wwx plans on taking his new charge around the country and away from the sects after he learned the godawful way the lanling jin have treated mxy

"single parenthood will be hard, but this father will make sure you get the best life on the road, my sweet little loquat." "you barely look older than me to be my father, wei-qianbei" "shush let me have this"

their traveling is off to a good start. but then dafan mountain happens and holy shit wen ning is still alive(?? technically ??) and holy shit why the fuck is everyone from wwx's previous life gathering here and holy shit did he just insult his shijie's son and-

why the fuck are they going with the gusu lan cultivators

what the fuck just happened

what

anyways

wwx introduces himself as a golden core-less distant mo cousin ("had an unfortunate run-in with the core melting hand back then") who used to be a rogue cultivator back in the day and is now dabbling with the art of talisman making and definitely isnt practicing demonic cultivation no siree

somehow he and mxy end up separated as lwj and wwx go to investigate the severed arm together and mxy ends up going w the juniors with a lil encouragement from wwx

"youll have a better time socialising with people your age, little loquat" "wei-qianbei plz ,,, u just want to go w hanguang-jun alone dont u" "lmao hahahahah who said that"

wwx is absolutely having the time of his life roleplaying a damsel in distress while being completely oblivious to the bone chilling fear he induces in their undead opponents. he invents silly little talismans to help hanguang-jun in battle. hes a little perplexed at how much shit lwj is letting him get away with.

hes also 90% sure lwj has figured out that hes a ghost and hes sweating like a sinner in church deep inside

i havent thought of much past this but heres some more tidbits of info that i thought about

at some point wwx is made aware of his infamy as the "Devil Flute Upon Graves". his self destruction at the burial mounds wiped out most of the vengeful ghosts in that area and, as mentioned before, shook mount tonglu w enough resentful energy to bust it open

wwx has an army of ghostly corvids that are essentially made of condensed resentful energy. they are also sort of empathetically connected to him ??? so theyre also chatty, yappy things who are extra fond of lwj and the junior ducklings

actually wwx's entire being post-supreme promotion is just condensed resentful/yin energy and being in his presence should be dangerous for regular ppl and cultivators alike but (a) he has mastered the art of keeping the effects contained within himself and (b) existing within the same space as lwj and doing their everyday means that their yin and yang energy are constantly balancing each other out to the point where it just naturally and passively happens. lwj literally dampens wwx's natural heebie jeebie vibes bc of good dick

because hes made up of yin energy, this does mean that it's ridiculously easy for him to switch back and forth between a male and female form. he usually ends up walking around in an androgynous form that leans towards a healthier, happier looking yiling laozu

VERY IMPORTANT ADDITION: yes ofc wwx gives lwj his ashes. it's in the form of an ornament. idk where to hang it tho. maybe wangji-guqin ? or his belt ? still debating on it for sure

the burial mounds are regarded in the ghost realm as his territory now and the ghost realm and heavenly court wait w baited breath to see what this new ghost king would do

the answer is he gallivants all over the damn continent with his new cultivator husband and their gaggle of children. wwx really dgaf about anything else really, he just wants to be Wife and Teacher

the wen remnants are given a second chance at life by wwx himself after the second siege of the burial mounds and they now live a happy afterlife at wwx's new ghost town where their old settlement used to be

he and hua cheng get along by virtue of being former street kids who just want to hang out w their godly spouses and their conversations together are just praise after praise for said godly spouses

wwx's birbs do eat hua cheng's butterflies and it's a frequent point of contention. no harm is done to the butterflies tho, the birbs just spit them out whole bc they taste absolutely nasty/poisonous

wwx 🤝 xie lian : little to no self-preservation instincts. they just want to help people okay !!

after the entire guanyin temple ordeal wwx ends up with a worshipped godly aspect whose primary place of worship is in yiling, who still remember the yiling laozu who just wanted to help his little family survive to the next day. to them, wwx became the god of innovation, ingenuity, and protection

he also becomes the patron god of street children ??? he just finds himself helping street kiddos and taking in vengeful ghost children because it was what he needed back when he was a kid okay ??? hes just using his powers for good, thats all

mxy is taken in by the gusu lan clan where he ends up become a promising candidate as a talisman master, thanks to wwx's encouragement and guidance

also !! it turns out more than a couple of other ppl ascended into the heavenly court, namely:

- jiang yanli ascended as the new water master, while jin zixuan became a martial god. shes a goddess of abundance, the home, and reconciliation. hes a god of wealth, fortune, and justice - nie mingjue also ascended to become a martial god after his spirit was laid to rest. he was supposed to ascend naturally but jin guangyao's bullshit derailed his fate. - wen qing ascended to become a medical master/goddess of medicine and sacrifice tho shes also kind of infamous for her friendship with devil flute upon graves. but nobody can say shit cz if they do say shit then they wld also be saying shit abt hualian and they dont want to deal with two calamities up their ass

thats all i can yap abt rn but i might add more we dunno

#mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #wei ying #lan wangji #lan zhan #wangxian #calamity wei wuxian #ghost king wei wuxian #mine : devil flute upon graves au #mdzs au

333 notes · View notes

evilminji · 2 months ago

Note

You know, i just had the mental image of a sith in star wars finding a ritual or something to summon a ghost and end up summoning danny, while in space. The sith is struggling to try and convince this otherworldly being to help them do evil and their just staring out the nearest viewport in awe about the amount of new space things to discover.

How does it feel? To have such a big and wrinkly brain? So full of smartness?? :O

That? Is Brilliant~☆

It could be a Krell situation. Stress of the war got to be too much. Or a Dooku situation, discontent fed and fed until it burst. Like a silently festering wound, left unseen and untreated.

Regardless of HOW it happened?

The lil shit steals from Madame Nu. Like a CRAZY PERSON.

Rightfully terrified that she will Kick Their Ass into the stratosphere for touching HER archives, they head straight for the "Sith Stuff". What does it DO? What RESEARCH did they do? HA! You ask too much of them! There is no PLAN here!

Their brain has gone to SOUP with the Dark Side. It's all wild mood swings and impulse decisions! Research and careful precautions takes PATIENCE. Planning. The calm and rationality they just THREW OUT AN AIR LOCK.

They are high on the initial high of the Dark Side that few, if any, Dark Siders ever SURVIVE. That TEST of their character and control, as they stand in the storm they have unleashed upon themselves.

You want POWER?

Okay.

HAVE IT.

Like trying to swallow a waterfall. Drink the ocean, one cup at a time. Endless, yes, but equally so? It is BRINE. Not the life giving waters of the Light. The more you drink... the deeper your thirst. The faster you die. Can you control yourself? Suffer it? For that's all that's left... suffering. Thirst. Endless, Endless Thirst.

Water water everywhere, and it shall grind your bones to DUST when next you drink.

Welcome to the Dark Side! Was it WORTH it?

But, ah, our Fallen's brain is muddled soup. They think so. They are not themselves. May never be again. That's why it's a tragedy. Because it both IS and ISN'T their hands that takes that Sith artifact. Because who they WERE would be appalled.

They don't even know what they are grabbing, do they? No one does. Seized from the ruins of a laboratory. Long dead horrors, painted upon the walls. A Sith's obsession with the afterlife of his people. Ghosts. Beings that were, supposedly, DIFFERENT then Force Ghosts.

The notes speak of "green". A vision or experience in his youth. Brief. The world tearing open. A gate to somewhere "green". The Sith believed it was the afterlife. Felt death inside the gate. Described as "peaceful, joyful, driven, and eternal", he was ultimately unable to full articulate the full scope of what he believed he saw.

Now his last device is in the hands of a fallen jedi.

Who is going to USE it.

P A N I C

Obviously, the Temple gaurds chase the crazy mofo as hard as they can. Without a DOUBT, every master on hand and available, is roped in by Madame Nu to FOLLOW that psychopath, before he unleashs FORCE KNOWS WHAT, directly over CORUSCANT AIRSPACE!!! The SENATE. THE TEMPLE?! HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF LIVES!?

Fallen McFuckface? Clearly did not think this through (nooooo, REALLY? Everyone is SHOCKED! Shocked, they tell you!), panics. Which is, unfortunately, the LAST thing they wanted them to do. FUCK™.

Masters and Knights are LITERALLY cutting through the hull, kicking down the door, they can survive limited Space exposure and honestly? We're not THAT high yet! Let's see you jump to hyperspace with HOLES in your ship! (Fucking, DONT GIVE THEM IDEAS! They're insane, remember?!) (Shit. You're right.)

When?

.......Green...~¤~

Hilariously? The Sith can plan all they want. But you can NEVER plan for stupid. Make a plan idiot proof, as they say, and the Universe will just build a better idiot. All that carefully curated misery, hatred, and suffering? That DISPAIR. The webs upon webs of Darkness carefully spread across the Senate district? Choking the Temple?

Mmmmm, tasty kindling. Good fuel! Sith Artifact LIKEY~!

It RIPS and TEARS. A screaming MAW IN THE SKY. A black hole for Dark Side energy that takes and takes and TAKES. Dropping people all across the district below. KILLING the particularly irredeemably monstrous. After all~!

The Force? Is in all things.

You DON'T have to be Force Sensitive, to Fall. Just a BASTARD. Just cruel and selfish, hateful and needlessly petty. All the things that would sour and turn a Jedi? Can sour and turn YOU too. Just slower, quiter, and with less explosions. But! It still wraps the Dark around your bones. Feeds it into your blood.

Kills you, when it all gets ripped away.

One must wonder.... how many Senators die instantly? And how many die in the days to come? Slowly, painfully, bed-bound as they reflect on who they had become? The fall out will be SPECTACULAR.

The Jedi's fault? How? How is their being stretched so thin they could not mount a proper response THEIR fault? How is YOUR corruption, THEIR fault? Please note all the individuals who were FINE! Baffled, but FINE!

But perhaps you are correct.

Perhaps, for the safety of ALL, we should MOVE our main Temple.

We've done it before. We can do it again. Or do you not want to HAVE that conversation? Hmmm? No, no, we wouldn't want to be a THREAT to you FINE people! You HONORABLE senators! Please, continue to yell and make demands! SEE HOW FAR IT GETS YOU!

Would they normally send someone more diplomatic? Yes. But STRANGELY all of THEM had weird SITH Darkness on them that got violently ripped off! They are in the halls of healing. Unconscious. Because getting Sith shit, that was hooked into your brain, violently ripped out? Not GREAT! 0 out of 10 healers recommend!

Fuuuuck you! Yes, I bite! And be warned, my Race is VENOMOUS! *aggravated Jedi Senior Padawan noises, hissing*

Danny? Got pulled out in FULL regalia. Just FULL on Ice and Stars. Full "I am the Cosmos beholding itself, I am the dead child you could not save.", beyond vanta-black armor and cape like a window to ever shifting stars, crown of aurora borealis playing off the eternal ice, all upon a youngling that seems forever floating... frozen in time. By death.

Was it sacrifice? Natural? Is it just a shape the spirit takes? IS he a youngling?

They both can and can not feel him.

Both can and can not SEE him.

He is so young....

A child king, hsmiles with such shared grief, when they look upon that too large crown, upon a head that should never have been forced to wear it. Like a child, forced to wear his father's mantle too soon. Is that what happened? Was it something worse? They can not bring themselves to ask.

Not when he is so... so DELIGHTED?

Playing with the younglings. In AWE of each and everyone of them. The things they learned each day. "Who wants to go flying?" "Try to float me!" "I believe in you." Oh, he BASKS in their Light like a desperate thing. Showers them with praise and attention, gentle corrections and undivided attention.

He is empathic. Alive and dead. Fascinated by the stars.

And of course... King™.

No, no, he's not interested in your Senate. Doesn't like um, Doesn't trust um. The vibes are RANCID. But I mean... if you REALLY need an army so bad? Since it seems you guys are pushing yourself WAY outside of your normal duties? Like, he doesn't know, uhhh farmers burning crops to prevent starvation? Something like that.

Just? Since you hate it? But are worried people will die? Or those Clone guys (Sweet! Clones! Ellie is gonna be HYPED.) Are gonna die? He could, you know... fix that for you?

JUST you.

We're gonna have to get it in writing. And they won't do anything BUT stop the robots and help people. They don't actually answer to you. Soooo.....?

.......are you offering us an army? (Yeah. An endless skeleton army. Lead by the greatest Generals to have ever died.).....(they get bored.)

And SUDDENLY? Oh look! The Galactic suffering levels? Just fucking DROPPED. All those SENTIENT Clone soldiers! Dying in vain, in agony, ALONE? Not happening! Skeletons can get blasted apart, fade, reassemble, and march RIGHT BACK OUT! This is GREAT fun!

And even better? Unlike with Pariah? THIS time they march? King PHANTOM is sending them to HELP people! Woooooo! Destroy metal crunchy things! Help clean up rubble! Build a house! Rescue trapped people from rubble! Tireless effort! Honor and service! Thanks for the FREE METAL! *rips apart your robots*

There are no anti-ecto technologies here! The BEST they have is Force users! Which? Ha ha ha! GOOD LUCK. That's what? One? TWO? Of you?? To HOW MANY of us??? *cackles in bone army*

And! If they happen upon OTHER things they don't like? Whoop! Should'a thought of that! Before being a DICK! King Phantom says slavery is ILLEGAL. And we, the FORMER slave army of King Pariah, have Millennium Long ISSUES with that! (Easy to remove that chip, when you can reach THROUGH a person. Here you Slaver FUCK. YOU have it! In fact! Have ALL of them. From each and every slave.)

Anikin LOVES his new Bone friends. They are WONDERFUL. Him n them? Bonded. He's made them all speech boards. They're plotting the gruesome end of the Hutt cartel together. He's showing them the holo of his wedding. They're making Super Advanced Chip scan-.....

W....Why is his scanner going off? There should be nothing near by for it to recognize. The only thing HERE is him, his Bone Buddies, and Rex for supervision.... *mounting horror as he slowly waves the device around* *beep*

R-Rex?

...

......

The Clones? De-chipped in like... two days. There are too many skeletons to NOT have them be able to just? *reach in, feel for the Non-Clone bit, grab it, pull out* didn't even need surgery! But boy, oh, boy! Is Anikin upset. That sure is a Slave chip! Hey, Kamino! Have a Chosen One and his Bones Bros! Some Clones in orbit with Real Big Guns.

And Palatine? Is? PISSED.

His whole ass Empire is dissolving in his hands. The Sith Master Plan! Going up in smoke! Walls are closing in! All because of ONE(1) glowing BRAT.

Wanna bet he goes after him... with LIGHTNING? In human form, of course. Danny. Who DIED to electricity. Who has, throughout ALL of this? Been chilling in the Jedi temple, finally... FINALLY! Unwinding. Putting down the stress on his shoulders. Healing from his childhood. Cuddling cute babies and laying on the grass to nap, listen to the waterfall. Be at PEACE, surrounded by the Light of the Jedi.

Danny, who has been making friends. Enjoying the archives. For once in his stressful, STRESSFUL life? Letting OTHER PEOPLE deal with it. Playing with alien puppies and weird not-cats. Trying new foods! Seeing about adopting some droids that Tucker might get on with. Sorry "buying" some droids. (As though those Restraining Bolts aren't coming off the SECOND they droids are in his hands.)

It's been cool. Relaxing. Great for his mental health.

They have folks LITERALLY called Mind Healers here! Jazz would love it!

So obviously Sith face ruins it. Hurts his friends and blasts him with LIGHTNING. The kids are crying and terrified. This was supposed to be some sort of "learn about how the Republic works" day trip to the Senate! He was helping chaperone. They are being so, SO brave. Staying together. Trying to get their teacher out of harms ways.

He? Is? PISSED.

How DARE you. How FUCKING DARE YOU?! A fight between adults? Not his Reality, not his business. Clockwork drilled that into his head. He CAN'T keep the Multiverse together. Fight every fight for everyone, save everything. People have free will. Have to decide for THEMSELVES. Choose to do the right thing.

It doesn't mean SHIT if they don't save themselves. Wont last, in the end, because they won't have LEARNED a damn thing. He GETS that! But KIDS?! Ooooh ho ho! He DRAWS THE LINE AT KIDS! At shocking the SHIT out of him with LIGHTNING!

You want to poke the sleeping titan 'til it wakes up?

Well congrats!

YOU HAVE HIS ATTENTION NOW!

*inhale*

*Wail*

Palpatine goes through the HOLE where about fifteen walls USED to be. Half of Coruscant physically hears it and EVERYONE with even a TOUCH of Force sensitivity FEELS it. Across the entire planet and up into orbit.

Dying screams and the crackle of electricity. Regret. Fear. The desperate need to protect, in your final moment. Pain and pressure, the cool slide of Death come to take it all away. You were just fourteen. You were just fourteen! You died screaming, you came back screaming, in the place between... will you ever stop screaming?

You are the Galaxy, the Cosmos, the INFINITE. You are just a child.

How many souls died screaming?

Can't you hear ALL OF THEM?

Pissed or not, kids come first. Fuuuuuck that guy. Danny picks up the teacher, the kids, and back to the Temple they go. Teacher survives. Kids cling. Senate gets itself into a snit over the "unprovoked attack". But the thing is? A whole CLASS of Baby Jedi say the Chancellor is the Sith Lord. Look too spooked to be lying. Their teacher, too WOUNDED for this to be a prank.

The Jedi close rank.

Palpatine tries to use the Clones.

You know... the De-chipped by their Bone Bros Clones.

Commander Fox? Gets to finally, FINALLY(!!!) live out his long time fantasy... of shooting the fucker. Slug thrower. Tragically, fails to kill him. But the attempt WAS enthusiastic! We applaud his attempt. Commander Fox gets to join Danny in the Gardens, under a Crechelings pile, staring at the stain glass ceiling and Not Thinking Or Having Responsibilities.

Huh.... kid's right. This IS nice.

Fox enjoys being a climb-able lump for the Crechelings. Welcome to the club, my dude.

The other Jedi? THEY can figure it out. The Temple is literally unassailable. If needs be, his army can PICK IT UP AND MOVE IT. Danny is Vibin. Have a fruit. You hear about Skywalker? Making pretty good ground on his whole "one man and massive bone army campaign against Slavery" thing. Missed the whole.... his buddy was an asshole reveal. Apparently reception is spotty. *shrugs*

His wife's nice though! *various married Jedi agree, Obi-Wan continues to sulk because: "REALLY?! You didn't even INVITE ME!? My own Padawan! To his WEDDING! Anikin how COULD YO-!?"*

#minji's writing #long post #dpxsw #star wars #danny fenton #why clones when we could use bones?#jedi's bone army au

162 notes · View notes

baldursgate3tempobsessed · 1 year ago

Note

K follow me Astarion just sees tav like loving on children wherever they go and hes like?????

And tavs like ive always wanted my own child but i didn't wabt to ask you with every

This sends poor starion into a crisis does he was children how many

I think I have followed you. Let's see!

So for this one we got a lil time jump, ambiguous and vague setting and timelines with game spoilers present. M/F pairing because that is my go to and pregnancy is mentioned. Vampiric pregnancy also so there is some weirdness there (i made it up no idea if it's dnd accurate). Vague Tav backstory of a wonderful mother and going off to become a cleric.

Astarion was well used to your antics by this point. You had a severe lack of instincts linked to self-preservation, which led to a consistent pattern of doing, frankly, stupid shit. Stupid, but kind. Nothing that Astarion hadn't adapted to, after nearly two years of being attached at the hip you became pretty attuned to your lover's personality.

He could even go as far as to say that he had grown to love your annoying predilection for pious morality. Perhaps he loved talking you out of certain virtuous dangers more, but still. He appreciated who you were, he adored who you were. But Astarion was no saint, despite his insistence on attaching himself to one.

Which is exactly why he was far from amused when you signed him up to babysit a couple of brats. All for acquittances he barely cared about.

But you at least had the good grace to look guilty, "I didn't mean to! But she looked so tired and she said their anniversary was coming up and it's not like we got anything for their wedding-"

That was a nice try, one that Astarion wasn't falling for, "We didn't know of their existence when they got married darling. Just because I can't remember their names doesn't mean you can trick me."

"I'm not trying to trick you!" You whined, arms crossed as you pouted. It sure felt like a trick, especially when Astarion knew that you were well-aware how easily he fell for your sulking. Adorable little monster that you were, "It's only three kids and a baby for one night, it won't be that bad! You don't even have to help-"

Astarion rolled his eyes as he sat next to you on the bed, "I didn't say I wouldn't help."

That seemed to do the trick to get the pout off of your face. You perked up immediately, looking at him like you couldn't quite believe it, "Really?"

"Yes, really," Astarion sighed as you tugged you closer. Sure he liked to bitch, but he really would do anything for you. Even extremely annoying things like this, "I'm not going to sit back and feed you to the wolves."

"They're not wolves! The oldest is barely five," You laughed as you let him manhandle you, settling you into his lap, "And I am sorry, I really wasn't thinking. I promise it won't happen again."

Astarion doubted that, not when he was well-versed of your weak spot for children. No matter where you went you couldn't help but fawn over them, not to mention the insane lengths you would go to keep any child safe. It was a complete and utter blind spot, your kindness extending to them all, even the little scam artists and hellions.

It was sweet, if not extremely worrying at first. Astarion had been terrified of you finding out his past. The things that he had been forced to do, the innocents whose lives he had destroyed. But not only did you find out, you were forced to see it. Both of you were, and it had been worse than anything Astarion could have imagined. He had always found a slight comfort knowing that those he captured would at least die quickly, that at the very least they wouldn't suffer the same agonizing fate as he, just an agonizing death. But no, even that small comfort had been a lie. The horror of finding them all down there has yet to be matched. He had never felt more self-loathing, more pure disgust than the moment he had found those children, tortured and pale, all because of him.

How you didn't see him for the wretched thing he was after all that, Astarion wasn't sure. But he was grateful. You were too good for him. A fact that he was devastatingly aware of, but that wasn't going to stop him from keeping you.

He still thinks about it on occasion, despite the fact that he had done all he could to right his wrongs. They all at least had a chance now to have a life worth living, Astarion could only hope that it would be used. Their future was out of his hands now, a small comfort.

But despite his complicated feelings towards children, he was more than capable of handling them for one evening. And in all honesty, he truly didn't have to do much. He was on self-mandated baby duty, because of course you had to help out the infant that would scream bloody murder unless it was being held. Keeping her tucked against him was a move of self-preservation, if he ever wanted to retain his hearing.

Most of the night was spent amused as he watched you entertain a gaggle of toddlers. You were so... creative with the ways you could defuse their antics. It came to you so naturally, nearly like you were a born mother yourself. It wasn't exactly surprising that you were fantastic with children, he had seen it time and time again. Arabella, Mol, Yenna, all of which still wrote you letters, visited occasionally. Staying forever attached, even from a distance.

Now that Astarion thought about it, it was odd that you weren't a mother. Odder still that you hadn't never even brought up the possibility of having children together. You were usually so open with your wants and always encouraging the same from him. Just one more thing he loved about you. But... why hadn't it been mentioned? Astarion had always assumed it was because you didn't truly want any of your own, that you enjoyed their fun innocence while avoiding the more laborious responsibility of raising them.

Though watching you take care of them all, changing diapers and negotiating silly arguments with a soft smile of your face had him rethinking his assumption.

"You're good with them," Astarion said eventually after you had successfully set the older three down for the night, the baby still stubbornly clinging to him, "I don't think there's a child we've met that doesn't adore you."

You laughed quietly, walking over to kiss him softly on the cheek. Your eyes wandered to the sleeping infant in his arms, still holding a piece of his shirt in it's little fist, "You don't seem to be too bad with them either."

"Newborns don't know any better," Astarion dismissed as he tried to put her down in their borrowed crib. Tried and failed, considering how the thing immediately started to whine the second he attempted to pry it's little hand away.

Oh for fuck's sake. Astarion wasn't even going to try and argue. Instead he unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall into the crib with her, seemingly doing the trick of stopping her from waking completely.

When he turned back you were staring at him with soft eyes, looking lovestruck at the simple act of him laying a child down, "Looks like she has pretty good taste to me."

"I don't think your judgment should be trusted," Astarion huffed as he walked over to you, grabbing your hand to drag you to the bedroom. He glanced back at you, his heart nearly skipping a beat from the sweet way you kept looking at him. It had his mind wandering again, those questions still nagging him.

Questions that he didn't have the courage to ask until dead of night, when he had you half asleep against his bare chest, "Have you ever thought of having children?"

He hadn't meant to blurt that out in the middle of the night, but Astarion apparently had a knack for starting important conversations at inconvenient times. Not that you minded.

You just cuddled into him closer, nodding against him with a sigh, "I've always wanted my own children. My own mother, Gods bless her soul, made it all sound so magical. Pregnancy, the early years, puberty, all of it. She loved it all. And I guess it rubbed off on me. It used to be all I could think about, before real life got in the way."

Astarion listened, a little annoyed at himself for not putting the pieces together sooner. You had talked so lovingly about your late parents, how you always wanted to be like your mother. Of course you would want children. How had he not connected the dots?

"But then I went off to the temple," You continued, "I completed my training, went off into the world to do good, blah, blah, blah. You know the story."

"So you grew out of the idea?" Astarion asked.

"Not exactly," You admitted, sounding a little guilty, "But I would never ask that of you love, it's not something you have to worry about."

That-what?

Astarion stared down at you, brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"

"I mean I know that the topic of children is... difficult for you. Considering everything you've been through-"

"I think you mean to say everything I've inflicted on others," Astarion interrupted, unwilling to allow himself grace. Especially when it came to the children of the Gur, "It was much worse for them than me."

You nodded, knowing better than to try and fight him on that particular topic, "I understand, but my point is that I can live without them. You're all I need."

It was comforting to hear, an immediate balm to a brand new set of insecurities that Astarion hadn't been prepared for. But even so... he hated the idea of you sacrificing even more for him. It felt wrong, "But-"

"But nothing," You interrupted softly, setting a quick kiss to his mouth, I'm serious Astarion, you don't need to worry. I'm happy, I love you, and everything is fine."

"I love you too," Astarion murmured, at a loss to say anything else. But the conversation didn't end there.

Astarion couldn't stop thinking about it, even long after the temporary children were sent back home. ou seemed so... sure that he didn't want children, and a week ago he probably would have agreed. But that was back before he knew that he was actively keeping you away from something you wanted. Something you had dreamed about since you were a child. And it felt wrong to be the reason for that, so, so wrong.

He didn't even know if his true feelings on the matter were real. He didn't want children for many of the same reasons he never wanted a partner. The attachment to another was dangerous, he was beyond unequipped to deal with others, let alone care for them, and the entire ideology behind love was ripe for manipulation and heart break. But then he met you and everything changed. Suddenly, caring for another didn't feel like a weakness, it felt like the strongest aspect of his entire self. Taking care of you wasn't an unwanted duty, it was intimacy. Something that he now craved. If all of those steadfast ideals could fall apart simply through meeting you, whose to say he could even trust himself when it came the thoughts around having a child?

Would having one truly be so bad? A little piece of the two of you, alive in the world? And perhaps children were annoying but... Astarion would be lying if he said he didn't have a soft spot for them. He had kept his distance before, but now he was fully confident that he wasn't a danger, no with Cazador burned to nothing bus ash and his own bloodlust well controlled. And it's not as if he was incapable of being a father, worse men than him did it everyday.

It was a confusing place to be, this tightwire of indecisiveness. Confusing enough for him to start a bit of research. He was vaguely aware that it was possible for his kind to breed, but finding out the details was disheartening, to say the least. First he had to parse out the different horror stories of babes eating their way out of their mother's wombs with actual facts, which wasn't exactly pleasant. But the truth was that it was more than possible for the two of you to have child together. It had the potential to either be as noneventful as any pregnancy, with the cavate that the babe coming out looking slightly... dead wouldn't be a permanent state of being. Or it could be as risky as carrying a child could be, with pains and complications galore, even legitimate worries of internal bleeding from the wretched thing prematurely growing claws. Not to mention the occasional, intense blood lust that could occur, an experience that Astarion would prefer you didn't have to go to.

Looking into the reality of the choice didn't help as much as he had assumed it would. If anything it just made the whole situation more real. Even if he wasn't a vampiric spawn, childbirth was risky. Maybe not as risky for you considering how Astarion would move the heavens and hells to get you the best care possible, but still. The thought of you passing, leaving him alone with the child you wanted and would never see, would destroy him. Completely and utterly.

But then again... there was the magical alternative of everything working out just fine. The two of you were both beyond lucky in that regard, considering how you'd overcome mind flayer parasites and fought and won against a near god. It was more than possible that everything would be fine, that you would have a beautiful pregnancy that would end in an even more amazing child. Then two would become three, a family of his very own.

That... didn't sound too bad. Astarion was torn. On one hand, he was almost certain that he was willing to go through with it. Not just because he loved you and wanted you to be happy, though it was the main reason. But also because... he could be a part in making something good. A child that would never suffer the way he did, the way countless others had. One who would be loved, who would have the help they needed for their inevitable unholy hungers. Someone precious for the two of you to fret over, to adore and care for. He... wanted that. Or at least he would if you still did. Now if he could just figure out how to bring it up, maybe something could actually happen.

But luckily enough for him, you did the job for him. He had been pouring over another book dedicated to recording the births of Dhampirs in the area, only to be distracted by you loudly sighing behind him.

"What's wrong love?" Astarion asked, his eyes still scanning the page in front of him.

"Oh I don't know," You sighed, rounding the corner to sit on the edge of his desk, "I just can't help but wonder when you're going to explain why you've suddenly become obsessed with parenting books. And..."

You trailed off, ignoring his surprised expression to read the cover of what was in front of him, "'Vampiric and Mortal Love & The Spawn They Create'. It's not exactly your usual reading material."

Part of Astarion wanted to be surprised that you had already figured him out. He had at least been trying to hide things from you slightly, not that it mattered when you could read him like a book. And he supposed that blatantly reading things like this in front of you would eventually have an effect, even if he tried to obscure the titles.

But that didn't stop him from stuttering through a response, "Well-I, okay. I've just been thinking about options lately. Which you can't really do if you don't understand what they are. Hence the books."

You frowned at him, one leg crossed over the other, "Star, I already told you that you don't need to worry-"

"But I want to worry," Astarion interrupted, deciding that ripping the band-aid off would be the best course of action, "And if there is something I can be doing to make you happier than I should at least consider it."

"I'm not going to force you into this for that," You said softly, reaching out to twine his fingers against yours, "This isn't the kind of thing you do just for someone else."

Astarion was aware of that, there was an important truth to your words. But... "What if it wasn't just for you?"

You paused, your brow furrowed as you stared at him, "What do you mean?"

"I mean what if, and consider this purely hypothetical, what if I wanted one as well. What then?" It was as far from hypothetical as Astarion could get, but by the look on your face it didn't seemed like that needed to be clarified.

You swallowed, looking just shy of hopeful as you played with his hand, "I... well. I guess in that case we would have a lot to talk about."

That wasn't quite the answer he was looking for. He pressed on, "So if in theory, I did want one. Would... you still be interested in having one?"

With me?

He left that part unsaid as he waited for an answer, uncharacteristically nervous as you mulled it over. But you were smiling, bright and wide, giving his hand a little squeeze as you spoke, "I think that would be the only scenario where I would want it. If that's something you wanted."

"I think it is," Astarion answered honestly, done with being coy, "I don't know how, I... I'm not quite sure how I feel about you carrying something that could be dangerous. But... in general yes. I think I want this. I do want this. With you and only you. Whenever your ready."

The next part Astarion did see coming, his arms already open by the time you launched yourself at him. You straddled his lap, kissing every part of his face as you babbled, "We can wait! It doesn't need to be now but-I just-yes! Adoption, childbirth, I don't care. All I need is to have them with you. That's all I want."

"And that I can give," Astarion laughed, delighted at your reaction. He still had concerns, plenty of them in fact, but they were hard to consider when the woman he adored was so ecstatic.

He gripped your chin, chuckling at the whine you let out for him interrupting your onslaught of affection. You didn't have to wait long, not when he directed your mouth against his, kissing you deeply as a new wave of exciting, and slightly nauseating feelings worked through him.

He didn't know exactly what was going to happen in the future. He had no idea if he would be a good father, but he knew that he would try his damndest. He didn't know how the two of you would even procure a child, but he did no one thing.

With you by his side, it would work out. All of it, no matter how hard the road turned out to be. And that was all that mattered.

#astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #asks #you'll pry my long posts out of my cold dead hands #spoilers #pregnancy mention #should i do a part 2 of this?#dhampir baby part two?#fun fact im actually so scared of pregnancy it sounds like hell to me #so pregnancy/child fics are very interesting to write #personally #i'm getting through these asks slowly but surely #nine more to go!

972 notes · View notes

semisolidmind · 10 months ago

Note

That anon made me think about a hypothetical scenario of Peng trying to move up on Reader, but tbh I don't think Peng would EVER stand a chance against the twice as bad AU monkey husband duo.

Azure contantly gets the L but he is nice to Reader + he's friends enough with the two warlords to not make them immediately consider killing him if he treats Reader a lil too nicely in the beginning.

He's suspicious but he's a likeable guy, so it's not too weird of him to be genuinely polite to the queen of FFM.

Peng, though? bro's getting COOKED. literally. He's not slick like Azure, if he tried anything it'd be over for him. He's a bird-shaped mean girl, so it would immediately draw suspicion on everyone if he suddenly started being super nice to Reader after being so vocal of his disapproval towards a human queen.

I bet Wukong and Macaque (especially macaque since peng likes antagonizing him so much) would love to have a reason to destroy him in a fight 💀

FR.

like, this feathery fuck could make that mental and emotional switch from "ugh, mortals" to "but this one's kinda ok/how funny would it be to steal her" and you can bet the boys (but mostly macaque) would be on them in a second. there is no way they wouldn't clock the birds' intent the minute the bastard sidles up to reader. they sorta trust azure, they're fine with yellowtusk, but the monkeys KNOW that you canNOT trust peng.

any time the bird has the chance to get reader alone, macaque makes sure to be there or at least within striking distance. he knows reader doesn't trust peng either (and why would she, after their history of shit talking and belittling her), so he's not worried about her falling for any smooth talking, but he is worried that they might cross a line.

i could see this situation coming to a head with peng making some sort of big move on reader, mac hears it and stops it, then challenges them to a fight (like a serious challenge, to the death kinda shit).

and while wukong wants to make that bird into a roast as much as his brother, he knows that it'll be important for macaque to beat the shit out of peng by himself. despite knowing how dangerous the monkey bros can be, peng continued to poke and prod and test the limits of macaque's patience. the monkey king won't deprive his brother of getting to serve some well-deserved comeuppance. in fact, he makes a sort of show of it, announcing the fight and inviting his allies to watch.

the battle is a brutal one. normally wukong is the one to fly into a jealous rage at any slight against reader, while mac is the one to keep a cool head. but this time, the shadowy simian lets aaaaall that carefully controlled anger out in a truly vicious display of power. the bird demon has a tough time keeping up with their rival's attacks. though both combatants take some heavy hits, it's clear that peng is losing.

like. macaque could beat peng to death here, and there really wouldn't be anything anyone could do. the bird broke a rule. they pissed off the wrong demon at the wrong time. given their history, nobody has any reason to stop macaque from slaughtering his rival, and it'd be within his rights to kill them for disrespecting his wife. wukong finds it all far too hilarious to do anything but laugh at peng getting their ass handed to them, and reader knows it's going too far but won't speak on peng's behalf (both because she doesn't like them and she feels like she has no right to deprive mac of his revenge).

azure would have to beg a pardon on behalf of his stupid chicken of a sworn brother before they actually die.

wukong is hesitant to grant it. azure knows what that birdbrain did. they laid hands on the monkey king's queen, and he knows wukong has killed others for far less. that miserable pile of feathers should consider themselves lucky that the monkey king hasn't joined in on their punishment. if azure didn't want his lackey to get beaten bloody, he should've kept them in check. not to mention the fact that peng has had this macaque-issued beat down coming for a loooong time.

by the end of it, peng is nothing more than a crumpled pile of bloody feathers in the dirt. azure and yellowtusk have to scrape them off the ground and portal back to camel ridge in disgrace and defeat. they don't show their faces on flower fruit mountain for a good long while.

as for macaque...despite being clawed, tired, and a little bruised, he reigns victorious. in his adrenaline induced stupor, still covered in dirt and blood, he storms right up to reader and steals a nice, long kiss. it leaves her lightheaded, his hands on her the only thing keeping her up. he huskily promises that they'll "celebrate his victory" later. reader feels a little faint.

wukong would normally protest his brother getting peaches all to himself, but after that fight? eh, he's earned it.

#bad end wukong #twice as bad au #i do like an afterbattle kiss #where the one fighting pours all that energy and desperation into a good deep smooch #good stuff right there

321 notes · View notes

aliidarling · 8 months ago

Text

excuse my bad grammar and typos, this is my first time posting official smut! i’ve had accounts there and there but this time i’m fr

i didn’t proofread either cuz i’m lazy so bare w me

sorry if danny is ooc he’s weird to write

he hit me and it felt like a kiss ♡

DANNY JOHNSON x fem!reader

nsfw content — please scroll if uncomfortable

summary: danny chases u down towards the end of the trial and corners you in lampkin house, decides to have a little fun w u :3

tags: nsfw obvi, p in v, forced entry kinda, blood as lube is suggested, rough fingering at end, degrading, humiliation, mean danny, dubcon, referenced somnophillia but doesn’t happen, danny’s thoughts are triggering, danny himself is a warning

dark content below!!

Your breath was heavy as your feet ran as quickly as possible, the thoughts of all other things leaving your mind very quickly. All you could think was the fact a pyschopath was currently right behind you, knife in air, and coming right at your sorry ass.

“Shit, shit,” You sigh shakily under your breath. Your heart was pounding so fast it felt like it could just jump out of your chest. If it did you hoped it’d punch Ghostie in his stupid face, maybe give him a few bruises to remember you by.

“Stop fuckin’ running! You’re only delayin’ the inevitable, sweetheart!” He yells from behind you, his voice deep. You never took time to admire his voice but for some odd reason, while you were probably five seconds away from death, you couldn’t help but acknowledge how smooth it was.

After his harsh words left his mouth, he was immediately slammed with a pallet, chasing him to let out a loud groan and stumble back.

“Fuckin’ bitch— you’re gonna get gutted for that.” He growls, lifting his palm to rub the soreness on his face before he remembered about the stupid mask he wore. He rolled his eyes at this and quickly got back onto his feet.

After another few minutes, he managed to corner you into the little house on Lampkin Lane, the red and blue lights illuminating onto his shrieking expression.

You felt your heart drop slowly as you realized you had nowhere to go. How could you be so stupid, running into the only room in the god damn house without a window to vault into.

“Can’t we talk about this?” You smile sheepishly, backing up into you pressed against the wall, his tall and looming figure intimidating you shitless.

You could feel the sassy roll of his eyes before he roughly grabs you by your shoulders, throwing you down onto the old worn down mattress. A yelp leaves your throat, your body squirming on the mattress, having landed on your belly.

You open your mouth to protest, “Hey!—“ Only to feel the air knocked out of you as he plops down on your lower back, straddling you. His hips were pressing down into your butt, his knees at each side of your waist.

An attempt to lift your head up was quickly denied as you felt his hand grab the back of your head, his fingers tangling within your hair, and shoving it back down into the scratched cushion.

“No squirmin, or else you’ll get a knife shoved in that pretty lil’ head of yours, got it?” His voice was low as he hissed the words out, his legs tightening their hold on you.

You whimper at the pressure on your lower body. You decide to ignore his words— you were gonna die anyways, so why not go out screaming and kicking?

“Fuck you.” You say with a tone full of hatred, fists clenching in anger as you attempt to knock him off you by shoving your butt into him roughly.

This only causes him to get worse, a sharp inhale coming from him as he feels your butt connect with his groin.

He groans back and presses you further down, his hand starting to raise his knife up.

“I’ve had enough of your stupid whining and fighting, stupid little bitch, how about you shut up and take this god damn knife in your throat?” He snaps, his other hand roughly grabbing you by the back of your neck and squeezing it as he presses it down.

Right as he’s about to slam his blade into the back of your skull, already daydreaming about how good his clothes would look covered in your blood and tears, he feels your tiny body under him shift once again and press tight against his cock.

His breath hitches intensely, and it only gets worse from there as he hears a soft noise leave your lips. He reluctantly lowers his knife, just a little, and pulls his head down to see yours.

You had your face resting face down, your cheek pressed against the mattress with your eyes squeezed shut. You had already prepared yourself for the feeling of his knife deep in your skull. It’s not like worse hasn’t happened, Wesker and some of the other weird ass killers had too much fun with their mori’s.

The squeeze of his fingers around your delicate neck caused you to let out a forced moan, his brows furrowing. You could practically feel the air tense as his heavy breathing from behind you sent shivers down your body and right into your core, feeling so embarrassed to have this murderers body so close to yours.

“Just kill me already, you stupid little— Just get this over with!” You whispered with a high pitched tone, squirming once again and bracing yourself for the slash.

He only rolled his eyes at you in response.

Your attention was drawn away from your fear of dying as you heard the loud sound of steel clattering against the floor.

You looked up in surprise, your lips parting and not having a chance to say anything before you felt his smash right against you, a loud gasp leaving you as he pressed you even further down.

After a second into the kiss, you wondered, how the hell he could kiss you with his mask on? You peeked an eye open and saw he had his mask pulled up halfway.

He had one hand grabbing you by the back of your neck, holding you down into the bed, his other squeezing your pink cheeks. The kiss only got more rough as you attempted to part.

All your attempts at parting miserable failed, considering you were quite literally pinned down with no where to go.

“H-Hey— hey, ghostf—“ You choked out between kisses, your hands which you were surprised weren’t pinned down yet, go to shakily reach towards him to push him away.

“Shut the hell up.” He grits his teeth, resisting the urge to beat the shit out of you and then fuck your unconscious body afterwards. Maybe you wouldn’t struggle so much then, ungrateful bitch.

A whine left you before you felt yourself get shoved down again, your head knocking against the mattress roughly. You squirm more, gasping and shaking your head in the kiss you tried your best not to give into.

“Get off me! Get off me— you god damn psycho!” You screeched.

His hand quickly shot up and slapped your face, causing you to curl away and hide your red face into the bed under him. Almost made him feel bad before he remembered the ruckus you caused him during today’s match. Can’t even remember how many god damn pallets you shoved into my face.

“You gonna cry?” He mocks, a grin tugging at his lips as he presses his hips down into your butt, one his knees shoving its way between your thighs and forcefully parting it.

“No I’m not..” You say quietly and so embarrassed.

“Yeah, I think you are.”

He then pulled away rather harshly from your face, one of his hands pressing into the space between your shoulder blades, not letting you look up or get up.

His other hand yanked his mask back down, but then got to quick work with grabbing the hem of your pants and shoving it down.

“What’s wrong? Embarrassed? Shouldn’t be, baby, you’re so pretty.” His voice was so mocking and condescending by itself that it was probably enough to make you cry.

“S-Shut up,” You whispered, limp under him, not even struggling anymore. You knew there was nowhere to go. And you couldn’t help but feel a flutter in your tummy as he called you pretty.

“..You think I’m pretty?”

He snickers at your small voice, his hand leaving your back and joining his other in pulling your pants down. Once you’re naked from waist down, he gets to work and grab your hips, pulling them up into a position where they are hovering in the air with your knees supporting them.

“Mhm, baby. Prettiest victim I’ve ever had.” His large hand glides over your round butt, giving you firm taps and playful rubs.

You couldn’t help but let a small moan as his hand glided right over your pussy, pinching your clit rather harshly, making you yelp.

Stupid girl didn’t think I’d be nice with her, did she?

I’m going to ruin her.

I’ll start off with that tight pussy of hers.

“Ever had someone in here, hmm?” He hums, his thick finger teasing your small hole and threatening to slip in. Your breath hitches in fear.

His bloody, dirty gloves fingers inside you sounded so dirty, but a part of you craved for it. The way he stimulated your body fed to your cravings.

“I-I mean, yeah, a long time ago, but now I’ve been here for a bit and none of the survivors are really.. worth it.” You admitted hesitantly, feeling embarrassed to be telling Ghostface the last time you had sex was.

“Poor thing.” He mocked lowly, both his hands going to rest next to your folds. He spreads your pussy lips apart and snickers at the sight of your small inner walls and slickness.

“I’ll treat you so nice, baby, you won’t even have the heart to beg me to stop.”

His words sounded so genuine, but how could you believe him? He was the last person to trust, especially in a situation like this. You were surprised he hadn’t forced himself in your ass already, it felt like something his deranged ass would be into.

The sound of his robe wrinkling and moving around caught your attention. You peeked behind you to get a look before you felt his hand collide with your face again, sending you immediately back down into the mattress, hiding and squeezing your eyes shut as you decide to be good for once and just follow his orders.

You didn’t wanna walk out of here with a knife in your ass.

It wasn’t another minute until you felt something large and round press against your pussy opening. Your eyes widened as his hands forcefully spread your thighs, your back arching as his other hand pressing down into it.

“W-Wait— don’t go right into it!” You gasped, trying to pull away.

He completely ignores you and instead grabs your head with one hand, the other holding your hips firmly as he fully slams himself inside you, full on WWE style.

“Take it, sweetheart, it ain’t that hard, c’mon.” He sniggers, his tone heavy in mirth and amusement, his hold in you tightening.

He was so big, completely stretching out your gummy walls and pressing against your cervix with his painfully big cock.

It had to be a good 8 inches, maybe even hitting 9– nothing about him was average, so it didn’t surprise you his dick was painfully big.

“Ghost,” You cry out, your back arching further as his cock immediately pulls back, making you flinch at the friction.

You were wet, yeah, but not enough to withstand his cock. You would have needed a good stretching and a lot of fingering if you wanted to take him without any pain.

And the fucker just slammed himself inside you, no prep at all. Tears were teasing the corners of your eyes, nose scrunched up at the sting.

He rolls his eyes at your noises, “Stop fuckin’ whining, I’m not against killing ya still, y’know?” He huffs with a sassy tone. Both his hand settle around the curve of your hips and waist and start treating you like a complete fleshlight, slamming himself into you over and over again.

Your body shakes at the intensity of the pounding, your hands limp infront of you and weakly scratching at the mattress. Your skin felt so icky, your thighs covered in something but you didn’t know what.

“Good girl, good girl, takin’ my cock like you were fuckin’ born for it.” He giggled into your ear. He bends over slightly to press his back against your chest, pressing your body flat against the bed.

“Please slow down—“ You whine.

He slaps you in response and you weakly apologize.

A few more extra deep thrusts has him groaning from behind you, his eyes threatening to roll back as well at how tight you fit around him, snug like a song.

“Good for nothin’, cheap whore, what a pathetic piece of crap—“ He grumbles lowly, brows furrowing in concentration as his thrusts get more harsh, your body jolting from each slap of his hips.

Wrapping on arm around you and reaching for your tiny clit, he places rough circles onto it and hummed in approval at how your walls started sucking him in more.

“Gonna cum? Huh?”

“Mhm, mmm, please.”

“Yeah?” He chuckles darkly, brutally slamming his cock into you over and over again until he felt your pussy start milking the shit out of him. He let out an *almost* whine, burying himself as deep as he could inside as you as he twitched.

His hands grabbed onto your hips and pulled you flush against his, his dirty robe rubbing all over your body and staining your pretty skin with your friends blood.

“Good girl, yeah, just like that.” He whispered, his eyes fluttering shut as he felt his cock literally explode in you, sending all of his hot cum straight into your womb for you to go and cry about.

Right as he came, he felt your walls tighten further before relaxing and letting out your white cream as well, coating his cock.

With a soft huff, he slowly pulls out, listening to the squelching sounds in amusement. A smirk tugged at his lips as he watched a mixture of yours and his cum drop out of your sloppy hole, with a slight reddish tint on your thighs.

“Oops, made ya’ bleed.” He hums nonchalantly, his hand going and gliding some of the cum onto his fingers before shoving it back into you.

“Augh! Hey—“ You yelped, tensing at the feeling of his thick fingers back into your over-sensitive pussy, thighs spreading uncomfortably.

“Shut up. You ain’t gonna let one drop out, hear me? You’re gonna be a good girl and suck it up.”

“..Okay.”

After another moment of him shoving the cum deeper into you somehow, he parts and leans back, admiring the view of your ruined body with blood stains from his rough handling earlier and now.

“You’ve never looked prettier.” He snickers before he starts to get back up and pulling his robe on.

“..You’ve.. never looked creepier.” You joke dryly, glancing at his dirty robe. He rolls his eyes and kicks you with his foot as you were still on the floor.

“Ow!”

“Shut the hell up and get out of here, the hatch is waiting for your sorry ass.” He grunts, turning away and picking up the knife be dropped to fuck you.

“You’re so sweet.” You say bitterly under your breath, shakily getting up and rubbing the blood away. The sight of your inner walls blood made you cringe, staring down at your thighs. You sigh and quickly pull your pants back up. You felt disgusting.

“C’mon, I don’t got all day.” He narrows his eyes at you, appearing behind you to rudely shove you towards the exit of the room.

“Jeez! Okay, okay!” You whine, quickly walking out in search of the hatch he kindly offered to you. He watched as you left, his dark eyes from under the mask staring down your silhouette as it slowly disappeared into the distance.

#danny johnson #ghost face x reader #ghostface #danny johnson x reader #dead by daylight #dead by daylight x reader #ghostface smut #smut #Spotify

354 notes · View notes

thelittlestoflives · 10 months ago

Text

The Cook and the Chronicler

just another lil instalment in my sanji x chronicler!reader series!! in which the rest of the crew finds out about the two of them hehe

tell me what you guys think!! the love you've shown for my other two silly fics has brought me more joy than you know

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

sanji x strawhat!reader

no warnings unless you don't like swearing lolll, couple uses of YN, just self indulgent fluff

wc: 2k

“I don’t get it,” the swordsman grunted as the two of you sparred on deck.

“You’re gonna have to narrow that down for me,” you say through panting breaths, Zoro never was one for taking it easy on you. “I’m sure there’s lots you don’t get.”

He barked out a laugh, narrowing his eyes and sweeping your feet out from under you. You landed with a soft oof.

“You and that damn chef. That’s what I don’t get.”

You lay on your back trying to catch your breath. “What’s to get?”

He shrugged. “Dunno. He’s just so annoying I don’t know how you can stand to spend time with him.”

You sat up with a small groan and looked at your crewmate with a frown. “Who says I spend time with him?”

Zoro rolled his eyes but held out his hand to help you, which you gratefully accepted, taking a sip of water once you were standing.

“Oh, come off it, Chronicler. Do you think I’m stupid?” And upon seeing the smirk on your face followed up with: “Don’t answer that, you little shit.”

You crossed your arms and looked up at him. “I don’t know what you mean.”

At this stage, you and Sanji didn’t exactly have a label for what you were. Sure, you spent most (all) of your nights curled up beside him and sure, your eyes always looked for him no matter the situation you and your crew found yourselves in, but like… It wasn’t anything of concern for anyone else.

“It’s not like I care or anything,” Zoro countered, copying your stance. “But we’ve all noticed that curly brows is less…”

“Flamboyantly flirty?” You offer.

“Irritating, annoying, insufferable, enough that I could gouge my other eye out. But not by much.”

It was true that Sanji had become a more subdued version of himself. No longer did he feel any desire to flirt shamelessly with Robin, Nami, or any beautiful women they came across on various islands. That’s because he had you. Why on earth would his attentions divert anywhere else?

Zoro raised an eyebrow. “For someone who never shuts up, you’ve gone very quiet.”

“Well, ever thought maybe you’ve just gone soft and you actually might like the guy?”

He snorted. “No.”

You roll your eyes. “Whatever. Don’t see what business of yours it is anyway.”

He had a complete shit-eating grin on his face. “Struck a nerve, have I?”

“Shut up!”

“You’re in love with the waiter!”

You glare at him, but all witty comebacks die on your tongue. After all, he wasn’t wrong. You stuck your tongue out at him and flipped him off which he scoffed at, and made your way to the bathroom to wash your sweaty, post-training body.

Before you could step out of the bathroom, however, your way was blocked by an arm. “So, were you ever gonna tell me or did I have to find out from Usopp?!” Nami looked at you half-glaring, half-smirking.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you feign innocence, drying your hair with your towel.

“Hey! I thought we were friends!” She actually looked kind of hurt, and a pang of guilt jolted you. “I wish you came to me at the start!”

“Nami, you know I adore you, right?”

She nods.

“And if I had come to you and said I was seeing Sanji, would you or would you not have tried to talk me out of it?”

She paused, thinking. “Okay, yeah. I probably would’ve. So?!”

“What do you mean ‘so’?!”

Nami sighed. “Fair enough, I guess. But… Urgh, why him? Of all people! I love him like I love all of the crew but… Him? And besides, I thought you said you had sworn off of romance!”

You at least had the decency to look bashful. “Yeah, I did say that. Trust me, I didn’t plan for this. We just... I dunno, we see each other. Like, really see each other.”

“Ugh.” She pinched her nose and sighed. “Well, if nothing else, you both do seem happier. And he’s not as… Sanji-esque anymore, so I suppose that’s something.”

“See!” You said brightly, hugging her despite her protests that your hair was too wet. “Only good things can come of this, right? Now, if you excuse me, I think I need to have a little word with Usopp…”

“He’s up on deck with Chopper. Don’t go easy on him,” she grins, everything forgiven. “He’s telling everyone.”

Hair still wet, you march above deck to have a word with Mr Shit-Stirrer himself.

“Usopp!” You yell. There’s the sound of feet scrambling. “You can’t hide, you know.”

He steps out looking shameful. “Oh, hi YN. I wasn’t hiding at all, I promise! If I wanted to hide you’d never find me.”

Chopper came out behind him, looking confused. “Then why did you say ‘quick, I gotta hide’?”

Usopp laughed nervously. “That doesn’t sound like something I’d say.”

“But, you did! Is it because you’re telling everyone you saw Sanji and-”

Usopp swiftly pushes Chopper away, much to the little reindeer’s dismay.

You groan and cross your arms. “What are you telling everyone?”

He crossed his arms defiantly too. “Nothing.”

“Usopp…” You warn.

“I’m not telling anyone anything that isn’t true!”

Chopper came back over and hid behind your legs. “He says he saw you two kissing in the kitchen last night,” he giggled.

Your face flushed red. “Did he now? Thank you, Chopper.” You pat his head and he looks gleefully at Usopp who is glaring daggers at him.

He probably did see you kissing in the kitchen last night. It had been a few months since the two of you had started having your little midnight rendezvous, and you were definitely being less careful. It was kind of impressive how the others had only now started to notice.

“Well, I did!” Usopp protests.

“And you had to tell everyone?!” You hiss.

He cowers at your tone, beginning to look guilty. “I’m sorry YN! Forgive me!”

“We’ll see,” you say before heading back to the girls’ quarters. You can hear Chopper and Usopp bickering behind you.

You enter the room with a sigh, leaning against the door. Robin sits on her bed reading a book.

“YN?” She asks with concern. “What’s wrong? Is it because Usopp is telling everyone about you and Sanji?”

You bang your head against the door. “So he told you too then?”

She shakes her head. “No. I’ve known for a while.”

You gape at her. “Uh… What?”

“I heard you creeping out at night and saw Sanji bringing you back to bed one morning. Plus, he’s been slightly, hmm, less…”

“Less Sanji, so I’ve heard,” you sigh again.

“Why does it matter if everyone knows?” she asks as she closes her book.

You sit down on your bed and face her. “It doesn’t. I don’t know. It just felt very… Special. Secret. It only belonged to us, and now it belongs to everyone.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “I see. So it feels less sacred now? Like you’re sharing it with everyone else?”

“I guess so.”

“Have you spoken to him about it?”

You shake your head.

“Well, I suggest you go to the kitchen and talk about it with him. He might make you feel better.”

“You’re right, as usual,” you stand up and check yourself in the mirror. “I can’t believe you’ve known this whole time and didn’t say a word.”

She smiles slyly. “You’d be amazed at the things I know and don’t tell.”

“You’re scary, I love that.”

For whatever reason, you were nervous on that walk to the kitchen. You could hear the sound of knives chopping and Sanji humming to himself as you stood at the door, trying to build the courage to enter. With a breath, you push the door open.

The blonde chef turned around, ready to yell at Luffy for trying to come in before dinner was ready, his face softening exponentially as he saw it was you.

“Mon amour!” he said in a hushed voice, moving towards you to press a kiss to your head. His sleeves were rolled up at the elbow and he looked the way he did when he got lost in his cooking.

“Hey, Sanj,” you greet him, nerves dissipating as you look up into his face.

“Come, you have to try this!” He grabbed your hand and pulled you to the stove, lifting a spoon up to your mouth. As always, it was delicious and you made sure he knew.

His face brightened so much you thought he might burst. “So, sweetheart, what’s on your mind?” He asks, brushing your hair off your face. He could read you so well now.

“Well… Usopp saw us in the kitchen last night and told everyone so now they all know about us,” you say, inwardly cringing. “And I don’t know how I feel about it.”

Sanji’s face fell slightly. “I see. Are you…” He cleared his throat. “Embarrassed? Of… Me?”

Your face twisted into one of horror. “Oh god, no! No! Not at all!” You reach up to hold his face, looking into his eyes. “I could never be embarrassed of you. Don’t be silly, Sanj!”

You could’ve cried at the look of relief on his face.

“I don’t know how I feel about it because it was so special and uniquely ours, and now it’s some bit of gossip. I just feel like… What we have is so… It transcends anything, and it feels a disservice for it to be spoken about by anyone else.” You’re still holding his face gently, rubbing small circles with your thumb, his hands settled on your waist.

His face blossomed into a lovesick expression, and he looked like he might swoon. “I never tire of hearing how you feel about me,” he murmurs. “It blows me away every time.” His hands creep from your waist to your back as he peppers your face with kisses. “You really feel so strongly for me that the thought of others knowing hurts you. Mon cherie, I will never understand why you chose me, but will forever be grateful.”

All your concerns floated away like dandelions in the wind. Why would you ever be worried that others knowing would take away from what you had with this man?

“Let them know,” he proclaimed softly into your hair as he pressed another kiss. “Let them all know! Let every damn pirate crew know of the Strawhat Cook and Chronicler. Let them sing songs about our love for generations to come. In fact, I want everyone in this shitty world to know!” He picked you up and twirled you around as you laughed. He raised his voice. “Hear that, everyone? Me and YN are together!”

He put you down and put his fingers under your chin, tilting your face up to his.

“My darling YN… No one else matters to me, but you. That said,” he kissed your nose softly. “God, I’m glad everyone knows you’re mine.”

His lips meet yours in a passionate kiss, hot and desperate. His mouth was greedy, time slowed down around you both, as it always did. Your hands tangled in his hair and he groaned into your mouth,

“Sanjiiii, I’m hungry!” Came a whine behind the two of you as you both whipped around. “Oh, hey YN. Anyway, when’s dinner? I think I’m going to die of hunger.”

“GET OUT!” Sanji yelled, reaching behind him and throwing an empty pot in Luffy’s direction. “It’s ready when it’s ready!”

Luffy pouts and leaves the room. You and Sanji turn to look at each other, faces flushed both from the kiss and being caught. Then you both burst into laughter, and once again he pulled you to him.

“I love you, Sanj,” you whisper.

His eyes well with tears of joy, your sweet, lovesick cook.

“I love you more, darling YN.”

#one piece #sanji #blackleg sanji x reader #sanji x reader #sanji fluff #sanji drabble #sanji oneshot #sanji x you #sanji x yn #sanji x y/n #vinsmoke sanji x y/n #vinsmoke sanji x you #vinsmoke sanji x reader #blackleg sanji x yn #blackleg sanji x you #one piece x you #op x you #strawhats x you #my writing

178 notes · View notes

tex-now · 7 months ago

Text

WxS ships and where they like to kiss each other (Is there a better way to word this)

Added an under the cut so people don't have to scroll far ,:3

Emunene: The cheek! Emu looooves running up to Nene and smothering her in cheek kisses, and when Nene returns the favor she gets so happy that she tackles nene and gives her like a hundred more kisses lol

Nenerui: The temple! Rui has a habit of hugging Nene from behind and he likes snuggling into her neck and kissing her temple. Nene may pretend shes unaffected but she really likes it when he does it :3

Rui also likes resting his head on Nene's lap (and vice versa but shh) and Nene sometimes tucks his hair behind his ear and place a lil kiss on his temple. She only does it when he's sleeping because the one time she did it awake she almost died from the embarrassment (rui has pretended to be asleep so she could do it hehe)

Emukasa: The crown of the head? Yeah sure the crown of the head. Emu loves running up to her partners and tackling them into a hug and with tsukasa she immediately nuzzles into his chest cause he's so warm and comfy. Tsukasa may be taken aback but he sighs and pulls her closee and kisses the crown of her head and shit okg i hate them/pos. When Emu and tsukasa are hugging tsukasa tends to bury his head into her chest or stomach and Emu will gently run her fingers through his hair and press a kiss there. Sleepy cuddles. I hate them/pos.

Emurui: The forehead! Emu just goes up to Rui and makes grabby hands and rui smiles at her all soft and leans down and gently brushes back her bangs to kiss her forehead hdnhsnsbs. And sometimes Rui picks Emu up to kiss all over her face and ends it off with and extra long kiss to her forehead and Emu gets so giddy and happy she starts squirming and stimming and hugging and then they cuddle and OH MY FUCKING GOD I hate them/pos

Nenekasa: The lips! Mainly because it shuts tsukasa up really quickly/j but sometimes tsukasa is rambling to her about something l(himself, a new role, a play, etc etc) and Nene stares at him and just grabs his face and kisses him right on the lips. Tsukasa never expects it and is super flustered every single time but Nene is already one foot in the grave from the mortification that she really just did that. Why would she do that she needs to crawl into a hole and die-

Untilllll tsukasa gently cups her cheek and pulls her in for another kiss ajsjsjajaj haha what if I exploded this is so embarrassing. I hate them/pos

Ruikasa: The hand! They're both stupid and sappy like that yk? I think ruikasa is pretty big on PDA (they're so annoying/aff) so tsukasa will wax poetic to Rui in front of everyone and place a kiss on his hand and rui will be all flustered and swoony. Rui will do the same and then they start spewing declarations of love and everyone is sick of them in like 2 minutes lmao

Polysho: it does not matter as long as they're kissing. (not in a sexual way btw I feel the need to say that cause the phrasing might sound weird). The cheeks the forehead the lips the hand anywhere. As long as they're close and together they're happy. Everyplace is their favorite place in those moments. Eewwww I hate them/pos

#nene kusanagi #rui kamishiro #tsukasa tenma #emu otori #nenerui #emunene #emurui #emukasa #nenekasa #ruikasa #polysho #project sekai #save me kissing hcs...

110 notes · View notes

fungusgnat444 · 4 months ago

Note

“König being desperate for escort reader :(“ It might be the hottest thing I've ever read

well shit girlie here’s a part two… ily x hope you enjoy (sorry this took me so long)NSFW, angst kinda?, desperate touch starved König, he’s kinda subby hehe, afab fem reader, sugar daddy/pay pig shit if you squint, mentions of anxiety and poor self worth, implied size difference, oral f receiving, piv sex (no mentions of protection but always wrap it up y’all), begging, no german apart from schatz, big pp, decryphilia kinda? (He cries because you taste good lol), i think thats it. Let me know if i missed anything

this man is so stupid and obsessed with you it would honestly be annoying if he didn’t spoil you. You’d be lying if you said he wasn’t your favourite client but there’s only so many times he can burst into tears at the sight of a hickey another client left on you before it gets annoying. As soon as his dumb cock is buried in between your plush tits he forgets all about it immediately. Now he’s crying for a different reason. Speaking of which once he’s comfortable with you this poor boy cries a lot. Weather it’s because he’s over stimulated himself from desperately fucking you like he’ll die if he doesn’t fill you little cunt immediately or he’s feeling sorry for himself, you could probably fill a bathtub with his tears at this point :(

although he feels extremely guilty about it he has started stalking you. It started out innocently (not really he’s just delusional), just checking that you’re safe of course. Spying on you with his binoculars on the rooftop across the street. Only to make sure the client you’re with isn’t hurting you (he’s so stupid). You almost wanted to kill that bastard when he started leaving you gifts on your doorstep, but something about his antics was strangely endearing. You knew at least partly why he was like this. Picking up on little clues each time he vented to you with his head on your chest while you play with his hair. He’d joined the military so young doesn’t exactly give you much opportunity to meet women, the few woman he did work with wouldn’t look twice at him because of his reputation and even if they did he wouldn’t be interested. Unlike most of the men he worked with he had enough professional respect for these women to ever let anything happen. No matter how lonely he got :(. That’s not the only reason he doesn’t know how to interact with women. The glass case filled with war hammer figurines and frankly absurd looking gaming pc setup in his living room told you that he wasn’t exactly popular with the girls when he was younger either. The moment he first got his hands on your body you knew he had barely any experience. Not that you minded, if anything it made it feel more real. Not like most of your clients who just wanted to blow off some steam; he needed this. The desperation in his eyes, his frantic, shaky hands running all over your body like he thinks you’ll leave at any moment and of course he’s just so desperate to hear you say you want it. To know you like him this way, needy. You like it when he begs, when he thanks you, when he’s so lost he can barely speak, he knows you do. He’ll beg for anything, even if he just gets to watch you play with yourself, he just wants to see you cross eyed and breathless, clinging to him for support. Getting so desperate you start begging. Turning into him; pathetic and whiny.

(I know this is pretty different to the first part. Brain rot took over. Hope you still like it. Kinda enjoyed writing könig this way and fleshing out the character a bit so I might turn it into a lil series if anyone shows interest xoxo)

#konig #cod konig #konig call of duty #konig headcanons #konig imagine #konig x you #cod mw2 #konig cod #konig fanfiction #konig mw2

43 notes · View notes

itonashi · 2 years ago

Text

STOP ASKING ME.

pairing: ego jinpachi x lil sister!reader

warning: cursing, kys jokes, other chars mentioned ofc, ego being ego

notes: this is just a fic with no plot in mind 😭 for a req in wattpad!! but posting it here first bc in comfortable with tumblr than wattpad. literally just random talking idk 😞

why is anri teieri fuming and complaining to you about you older brother? well you certainly understand her aggressiveness towards him. ego jinpachi is definitely not the person you would go to for advices.

"that guy, he put a bunch of mayonnaise on the dish i made for him to eat healthy! who does he think he is? i just wanted him to eat healthy for once instead of him eating those bundle of instant noodle! the nerve of this guy."

"see? this is why you should never care about my brother. he can die for all i care."

"uhh.. is this really the two of you relationship?"

"huh? no."

anri is glad that you are here helping the blue lock program even though you said that you wanted to do it so you could sponsor one of the players here. atleast she won't be lonely most of the time especially when dealing with ego obnoxious behavior. you had been a great help on the program.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"you've become rude."

"huh. i think you should start looking at a mirror, bowl-cut."

your relationship with ego is not that strained (in your perspective) but this is a chances for you to become closer with him in this blue lock program. ego had always been absent in your life because of his stupid career before the blue lock happened.

while inspecting the other players match, you could heard him slurping his noodles up like he hasn't eaten for days. "stop making noises while eating." you voiced your complain.

"it's not even bothering you to inspect the players."

"it does."

"who is the player you're going to sponsor?"

ego didn't bother to change the way he is eating and ask you the question you have been waiting for him to ask. anri is in the room too so she stop the thing she was doing so she could hear your answer. pondering for a moment on who you want to sponsor.

"hmm... maybe chigiri hyoma?"

"are you doing this because of his beauty or his talent."

feeling exposed, you just hum at the words ego just said but there was another reason. if chigiri hyoma is injured again, the sponsor money will be going towards his treatment but you did stated to ego that you will not be choosing only one player to sponsor but three of them. chigiri hyoma was one of them.

"[name], how do you think miracles work?"

"don't ask me about this shit. i don't care about it."

"then what do you care about? fate?"

"the topic of this discussion is not my thing. stop asking me about it, jin. we don't know what's our fate in this world."

"are you sure about it?"

you ignored his last question, you didn't want to answer his stupid question about fate and miracles. if this is how he want to bond over for siblings then you don't want to be in it. anri feels the tension in the room after the conversation and got chills over it. you said that you two relationship isn't strained but why does anri doesn't feel it?

even if anri ask you about it, you will probably talk in riddles about you and ego's sibling relationship. you will never give straight answer.

"clean the room, asshole! don't make anri the only one doing the work." you retort at your older brother laziness of cleaning the room. just because the contract say he would only be involved in soccer's issues doesn't mean he can dangle around his legs and eat instant noodle and not clean his room!

does this brother of yours even cared about maintenance? he should just live with cockroaches at this point.

"the contract only says i have help on soccer."

"kill yourself."

of course, ego isn't in the slightest bothered by your aggressiveness towards him and the kill yourself jokes you just make. it was a daily thing to him. you were cursing under your breath while picking up his dirty ass clothes. how is ego jinpachi even related to you?

"for once, eat something healthy and don't even think about putting an exaggerating amount of mayonnaise on it. anri goes out her way to even cook you real food!"

seeing ego always eat instant noodles just worries you about his health. you know what happened to him in the past and you don't want him to risk his health. you don't want to be alone again. one way or another is hiding his packets of instant noodle to stop him from eating some.

"where's the other?"

you were checking the players files and improvement after the second selection when ego ask you where did the other packet of instant noodles go. he knew it was you who hid it. you simply just looked at him with a bored expression and shrugged your shoulders — going back to doing your work.

the door of the room open and the aroma of food comes. "i cooked some stir fried vegetables!" anri beamed holding two plates of stir fried vegetables.

"don't even think of looking for the mayonnaise bottle, jin."

"tch."

to think you would actually force ego to eat anri's cooking. anri is happy that ego was eating real food for once. atleast now her eyes won't hurt from seeing him eating instant noodles now. anri hope that now ego would only eat instant noodle once in awhile. you could basically feel the happy energy anri was letting out.

chigiri hyoma, nagi seishiro and lastly isagi yoichi. this were the players you are sponsoring for.

"you actually make a great choice for once but it isn't gonna last long."

"ok."

"the fuck was that dry response for, [name]."

you roll your eyes at ego's words. so what if you pick the glass prodigy, the lazy genius and the heart of blue lock.

notes: a small fic for once! i have more draft pls patiently wait. im posting this one out so that i have some ideas out. remember do not eat instant noodle to much! eat healthy for once.

#blue lock x reader #blue lock #nagi seishiro #chigiri hyoma x reader #nagi seishiro x reader #bllk #chigiri hyoma #isagi yoichi x reader #isagi yoichi #ego jinpachi #ego jinpachi x reader #itoreqs!!✧#itomlist!!✧#itoworks!!✧

443 notes · View notes

austinsastrology8991 · 1 year ago

Text

Planet >> Cheat Sheet <<

We got 9 Planets, and we got 2 extra things; the Sun and the Moon. So we got 11 important things. Everything else is all very revealing although I think we all can agree anything named planet takes >precedence > especially with all the. mythological writings backing them.... and we astrologers just like the moon because shes meant to be our mum. and no one can hurt mummy >> everyone with mummy issues pipe down stfu.

Well these mythological writings are nice but im here to modernize it with some writings written today. > And with this model of simplification maybe its easier to understand and interpret how they interact with one another in your life. IMO Astrology is not that complicated. Its just hard to talk about because its taboo. Especially since we connatate it with ideas like: the God Of War, or the God of the Underworld this can make it all the more harder to suspend our disbelief. Now legs go

Sun > The star governing our Solar System literally dictates how our days are gonna go depending on where he is positioned. He is the star, he is the main event, he is the bringer of light as much as he is the light > This makes him giver and a taker because he demands your attention but it literally allows us to live and feel alive. So where the SUN is makes you the star of the show, you dominate here because you invite people in to play and you make sure you playing too. The sun is the party > whats ur party lookin like? The Wolf of Wall street

Moon > The thing we all have an emotional connection with; since we are all wishing for shit at night and in all honesty its also when we are all the most comfortable getting emotional. or getting REAL. She listens to us as if she is our mum. And she is also a connection to our mums because she represents our psychological foundations which are almost always intrinsically tied to how our mothers raised us > or whoever did raise you < so our moon shows us how we were raised and how we raised ourselves. Where we find comfort and what we hold onto to feel safe. Good Will Hunting

Mercury > He's the closest to the Sun because he a lil curious how the Sun got so hot. And he right next to venus because mercury a lil curious george. Mercury is what you talk about, mercury is what your curious about. Mercury is what you understand and what you have a yearning to understand. Mercury can do it all, and whatever is touching this, is usually what people come to you for advice for, because they see you got this > all figured out. Rick and Morty

Venus > venus is the beauty, venus is what lookin good on you. and since you know it look good, you exploit it for attention. Which is why Sun dont appreciate venus because she taking some of that attention it craves. But anyway. Venus is what you attract and what your attracted to, its your value, its how others want to treat you and how you like to be treated. Venus is nice, so your nice back. so be nice or you'll be rejected and it'll hurt you more because you didnt conform to the ideals of the hot babe that is venus. get simping or die trying Wednesday

Mars > The warfield, the battlefield, the mine waiting to explode. This is mars and it was designed to blow up to cause destruction. This is where you fight and how you fight, but also how others fight you. How good you are at fighting is also indicated and well anyone can fight, but it seems we have supressed mars a lot. And its pretty fkn sad. Makes it all the more easier for some people to get away with fighting.... Which is stupid because they are not good at fighting but since most people dont like to fight we are ruining everyones abilities to fight. A bunch of bitches I say. No wonder you jump into fights as fast as you do because your so InSeCuRe. or get as angry as quick as you do because you been hearing InSeCuRe... we all in the same society calm the fuck down, but lets pretend to be the warrior and watch television again shall we. Breaking Bad

Jupiter > The generosity of abundance and the idea of attracting all your wishes. Well the rich get richer and the poor get poorer right? Well thats a Jupiter thing, because you attract what you are. And thats why your good at whatever jupiter doing. Because you get a lot of energy attracted here, and you dont mind sharing some of it around. Which only brings forth more abundance > and the cycle of abundant manifestation has been created <

Super Mario Movie

Saturn > The restriction and limiting fashion of something has actually made you learn to honour/respect it more than anything else. Saturn gave you the sauce by removing the sauce. Now you know how to make yo own SAUCCEEE. and dang don't it taste good now that you made it on your own? and you made sure it tasted as fine as you've always wanted it to be. Hard work pays off and it pays good and you bitchez complaining about saturn should put more work in, or frankly you not doing the right type of work. Saturn a boss, and if your not a boss. You getting bossed around. Saturn fucks you around so you learn to DEAL WITH IT. John wick

Uranus > Okay so everything got backflipped and made everything turn into a fuck fest. But thats okay. You learned something right? ANd you could only learn it from him.. or that specific fuck fest that he invited you to. So you have an acute understanding founded within a niche puzzle which gave you the quirky genius trait that you have > in respect to where he be. what he do. its ya boy sparky speaks and today we getting into some bullshit

MR ROBOT

Neptune > your a dumbass but your onto something. But your not owning it because it is 100% hard to understand, but this makes you look like a airhead, or a delusional something or rather. But. your actually onto something and when everyone else catches up they'll regret calling you all those names because it really was all a cover up of their own insecurities of not understanding something as deeply as you do. You are surrounded by energy here, and a lot of it is created by your imagination > which is fueled by whatever you saw that it can work with or from. And thats why you've learned ways to let it pass through you, or you learned to integrate it into your being. (its always both) Whichever you think it is; thats what happened. Scott Pilgrim against the World

Pluto > The dark thing. considered evil, misunderstood, loner. dangerous and thats why everyone looking at you all weird and distrustfully. Because pluto embodies the hunter and the hunted. The concept of life or death is your pluto. because you encounterd things that tried to kill you; you yourself too learned to kill, but its a lot more undetectable and 'mysterious' since well you are trying to kill something and that requires covert operation. It plays with the real consequences; not the scratches or bruises of a mars, but the bullet of a pluto. Which is why people distrust it a lot, and by extension you also extend that same sense of distrust. due to your understanding of fear and extreme understanding of what could be the potential consequences; you play to win. otherwise you could die. you are afraid tpyically, so you behave fearlessly; but thats actually out of fear itself. or your funneling negative energy and well thats a pluto thing. And boy does thing thing attract a lot of energy too. I mean consider how when anything bright on in the dark attracts so much, the same happpens to something dark that is exhibited in the light > they both attracts so much.

The Menu

Oh and I know there is a million overlaps. Ik there are probably better examples. This is my post > make your own < please criticise my work or that of my language again ya fkn bitchs idgaf > swamp stays swampy > fuck off <

#astrology blog #astro community #astrology #astrology notes #astrology observations #astrology placements #astro observations

161 notes · View notes

that-one-xachster · 7 months ago

Text

JJK but Dazai's the new teacher Hcs (ADA)

I'm a sucker for crossovers so- also dazai shenanigans trigger warning y'all bsd fans yk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

how did this even happen bro

oookayyyyyy lets say yaga and fukuzawa were besties <3

GOSSIP BESTIES

and once fukuzawa was complaining about his subordinates bc cmon give the 45 year old baby a break

and yaga was like

"I will grant you peace my child"

"you're younger than me"

"idgaf"

"anyway can I steal one of your subordinates for a bit :)"

"SJKDFHADKSJ YES PLEASE"

and thats how ma man dazai got roped into this

so fukuzawa was like

*deeeeeeep breathhhhhhhh*

"dazai I'm disowning you."

/J /J LMFAOOOOO

he was just like dazai get your ass to jujutsu tech you're gonna be a new teacher there

"but I don't have a teaching license"

"you've committed over 500 crimes what can illegal teaching do"

"true"

so whoopee dazai's now in jujutsu tech

hes still in his detective clothes though

but if ya want him in jjt uniform then sure

the way shoko visibly deflates when she realizes she's getting a gojo 2.0

megumi joins her

nobara doesn't care she just hopes he's a good teacher and not utter shit

I feel like maki and Inumaki would join her on this

Yuta would be the ball of sunshine he is like 😇

panda's being panda

AND NOW YUJI'S EXCITED AF BC ANOTHER GOJO-SENSEI? LETS FREAKING GO

okay dazai makes it there

no gifts sadly he was rich in the mafia but not anymore he's broke

and kunikida aint here for a wallet stealing mission

he soon found a kunikida 2.0 though (na-na-na-na-na-na-min)

so obvi everyone wants to know what his cursed technique is

...yeah thats the problem he don't have one but this is dazai so he goes

"oh I can just obliterate a curse by touching it lmao"

and then yuji's like "HOLY QUACK THATS SO OP"

and I'm gonna make dazai a leeeetle op here

so gojo's like "ah? let's have a spar?"

and dazais like 😳🫢🤭

so yes these two start sparring

so how this shit works is that if cursed energy touches dazai it just boom no more cursed energy and you die

and infinity's made of it right

right

so my bro just activates his infinity and doesn't move and dazai just kalmly walks up to him

and just throws his hair a lil back-

yeah my guy show off that big ass forehead

and he steals gojo's boop that makes you unconscious (how could you dazai)

and gojo was like 'WAIT WTF'

and stumbles back kinda concerned

okay change of plans

let's try something a lil dangerous

he pulls out a very minuscule

when I mean very I mean microscopic level of blue

just for shits and giggles

no not really he wants to see how this goes

and dazai's unaffected

like full unaffected

and gojo's even more confused, concerned, and slightly alarm

okay let's take it up a notch

dazai's smiling like the person he is

(Im not saying cause tw but yk)

"woah were you tryna off me? sorry but I'm looking for a beautiful woman to join me in my journey to the afterlife-"

gojo's even more concerned

"..dude you okay?"

"why not"

"what"

kay so we're taking this up a notch back to that

and dazai lets out a visible sized blue and megumi's just questioning how stupid his teacher is like gojo why do you want to kill the new teacher?? no way can he survive th-

it goes poof

gone

obliterated

nonexistant

megumi's like ...huh

everyone's concerned for life

and dazais just like "heh"

okay you have the advantage here what about in physical combat-

boom all attacks dodged

all

gojo's impressed needless to say

now after this comes the actual torture

yuji's fawning over dazai and ofc dazai's tryna like

gaslight gatekeep girlboss 😜‼️

"hey did you know that if you move your arms like this all the time your bones will eventually melt-"

"wha- actually?"

"yes"

"he's messing with you"

shoko says that last part

and yk whats coming

shoko = beautiful lady

beautiful lady = wybwtjmiads

"ah belladonna will you be willing to join me in a double suicide-"

"uh no thank you"

*CRIES*

gojo's at the side though

bombastic side eye

creemeenal offensive

side.

eye.

sigh thats all for now imma make more hcs later

drop ideas please I'm begging you

I'M BEGGIN BEGGIN YOUUUU SO PUT YOUR LOVIN HAND OUT BABYYYYYY-

#bsd #jjk #bungou stray dogs #jujutsu kaisen #dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #fukuzawa yukichi #yaga masamichi #gojo satoru #shoko ieiri #megumi fushiguro #nobara kugisaki #yuji itadori #dazai's the new teacher the world is gonna burn #everyones concerned rn #bro got rejected #shoko's an icon

30 notes · View notes

be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie · 2 years ago

Text

Guys I am on the edge I am losing it. I haven’t written fanfiction since freshmen year of high school, since then I’ve said all my writing will be publishable. And yet I am mere seconds away from losing myself to a Sully family adopting Spider fic what is wrong with me. The chokehold this series has on me. Anyways here are some headcanons that have been giving me holes in my brain:

-All the Sully's constantly argue over who Spider likes best, especially Kiri and Lo'ak. "That's my best friend" "NO, that's my best friend." "I knew him first." "Well, that's not fair you were born first. I've known him my whole life." Then dark horses Tuk and Neteyam come in like "You'd be surprised to learn spider actually likes me best." For a while after Tuk was born the competition was HEAVILY in her favor and everyone was mad about it. Neteyam doesn’t participate unless he wants to annoy someone, but no one thinks he’s in the running as much as he actually is. Spider has no idea this competition exists and whoever tells him is instantly disqualified so he never will.

-This shit absolutely applies to Jake and Neytiri too if/when they officially adopt him. Which parent Spider likes best competition. Who can get him to call them mom/dad first wins. It’s absolutely RUTHLESS and everyone knows about it except Spider. I’m fairly certain Jake and Neytiri’s love language is borderline unhealthy competition. Bets are made, sabotage is attempted, Tonowari definitely tries to help his bestie Jake and whatever plan they come up with is dumb as hell, I don’t know what it is but it’s stupid. Ultimately, Neytiri wins. Jake is not sad about it actually.

-Tuk is every parents worst nightmare. Her siblings are so much older than her, she has been desensitized to everything. When Lo’ak and Kiri were Tuk’s age they were fighting over a toy, but Tuk is pretty sure she’s ready for an Ikran. She is the ringleader of all her friendgroups and she can manipulate anyone into anything. She was the youngest to do everything in her family just to keep up with her siblings, and that means she knows so much more than all her friends her age. She taught them all the swear words they know, and she definitely told every child in the clan how babies are made as soon as Lo’ak told her and they were ALL way too young to know.

-The entire clan is worried Jake and Neytiri will have another accident child. Only they were surprised by Tuk, no one else was.

-Neteyam confides in Spider in a way he can’t with his siblings. Not only are they the oldest, but I think he isn’t afraid to not be perfect in front of Spider (This is why Neteyam is Spider’s favorite jkjk). I think they have a lot of chill talks up on the mountains, or they go flying and Neteyam’s just like “What if I fail at the hunt tomorrow?” or some shit and Spiders like “Well, it would be about time, and then you would just try again.”

-Spider is Mo’at’s least problematic grandchild, and the one that annoys her the least consistently. Kiri is still her fav tho. There is no Mo’at’s fav competition because everyone knows Kiri would win, but sometimes Lo’ak says he’s her fav because their names are similar and then everyone calls him stupid.

-Speaking of Mo’at, I’m pretty sure her and Jake get drunk together at least once a month. I don’t know what they talk about but GOD I want to. Only Norm has ever been invited and that was like one time and it’s because he and Mo’at are secret besties.

-Spider gives the best advice ever, because of being the only human child on Pandora he has empathy for everyone. He’s the best person to go to if you did something wrong because he’s for sure done something worse. Unfortunately he is incapable of taking any advice himself, and he is def suicidal a lil. You cannot convince me that kid doesn’t wake up every day wanting to die a little bit.

-For a solid half a year certified dumbasses Lo’ak and Jake were pretty sure Rotxo was some sort of spirit from Eywa because they never met his parents and never saw him go home and he was always somehow around. They shared this theory with no one but each other, which is good because it’s dumb.

-I think once adopted, Spider is a mama’s boy. He craves physical attention and he has been raised essentially Na’vi in a way that Jake hasn’t. I think he would connect with Neytiri’s parenting style more, I think they’d do a lot of weird shit together that the other kids would rather die than help with, like cooking or mending shit. I think Spider would be literally delighted to help with boring household chores with his mother and that’s so mamas boy of him. He’s a “mother, do you need help with dinner, can I do the dishes so you can sit down?” kid while all the rest of them are gagging and calling him a suck up in the background.

-It comes to a head when he tries to help make lunch instead of going surfing with Lo’ak, Kiri, and Ao’nung, and they have to have an intervention. It’s very serious, everyone was there, Tsireya, Ao’nung, Rotxo obviously came because I’m convinced he doesn’t actually have a home. They treat Spider like a five year old going to his first day of preschool.

-Spider and Neytiri also both have experienced such immense loss, and it shaped them both so much at such a young age. I think the way they would talk about it would be similar, and it would be a connection discovered that wouldn’t be vocally acknowledged often but they would both have that. It’s a mutual understanding that the others can’t get as much that helps them get past any animosity and fear. It takes them longer to get to casual conversation actually.

-If Spider ever got an Avatar Mo’at would make them put off the full transfer until he was older 50% because of his safety and 90% because he’s forced to spend time with her every night when he goes back to his human body no matter where they are. She is vocally grumbling always about how her family never visits. He does not pretend to hate it.

-It started out because Spider wasn’t taking care of his human body well enough, for sure. He’s Jake coded. Mo’at was on Feed New Grandson For Daughter duty. But now it evolved and he’s popping out of the link after a long day of Spearfishing with the Boys (I believe this is Tonowari and Jake’s fav father/son + Rotxo bonding activity) and Mo’at is there with Norm and Spider’s dinner like “you will not believe what this idiot warrior did” and Norms like “Do tell” and Spider has his second dinner with the HOTTEST TEA in the Omaticaya camp that Norm and Mo’at can spill. And one time he’s like “Lo’ak fell off a tree today because he’s too used to the water now” and then when Lo’ak finds out about that he pushes Spider out of a tree (from a safe height).

-(He has to recount this tea the next morning to Jake, this is what he and Mo’at did when drinking, he pretends he wants to be up on current affairs in his former tribe but Jake Sully is a gossip whore and he isn’t hiding it well).

-No one else is interested in this but Lo’ak. He cares so much. It’s Spider spilling the hottest tea with so much disinterest (he only cares because it’s Mo’at and Norm) and Lo’ak and Jake like gasping and then pretending they didn’t.

-Obviously Kiri and Spider’s bond is insane and unbreakable but I think one time he stepped on a bug and she didn’t speak to him for the entire day. He probably has nightmares about that day. But also Lo’ak did the same thing once and she didn’t talk to him for a week so.

-I like to think the rest of the Omaticaya do love Spider cause he’s just that weird little guy that’s always like crouched on the rocks and in the trees and shit. I think he and the Sully’s do have other friends and do spend time with others, but Spider, Kiri, Lo’ak, and then later Tuk, all spend literally every waking moment together because they all can’t escape that little feeling that they don’t quite fit in.

-Tuk doesn’t feel this way she just wants to be there. Neteyam totally feels this way he just feels like he has to be responsible.

-Neteyam also spent every waking moment with them until he had Adult Business to attend to, like learning to be in charge. Now he just spends all his free time with them. His friends are probably like “Why do you want to spend all your time with your little siblings?” and he has Vietnam flashbacks to the 17 things that Lo’ak and Spider did that almost got them killed that week alone (but also he loves being with them all).

-When the Sully’s leave Mo’at is really sad but Norm visits her annoyingly for weird advice that he doesn’t actually need every day and she pretends to hate it but doesn’t because they are secret buddies.

-Idk if this even happens to Na’vi but Neteyam’s human dna finds a way and he goes prematurely grey for sure. Kids so stressed it’s a miracle he doesn’t go into cardiac arrest.

-Tonowari and Ronal literally don’t know where Rotxo comes from half the time. He’s just always there. One time when Ao’nung was a baby Tonowari turned around for like 15 seconds to stoke the fire and then there were two babies, Ao’nung and Rotxo, on the mat.

-Lo’ak doesn’t think things through. Spider has no self preservation skills. There is a difference. So when Lo’ak suggests a dumb thing Spider will probably do it first cause he has recognized and acknowledged the risks, he just doesn’t care, whereas Lo’ak hasn’t realized yet. So he’ll test it out for Lo’ak first. The amount of dumb shit Lo’ak did went way up when Spider was captured because his human test dummy wasn’t there.

-Once with the Metkayina, Spider and Lo’ak have found a kindred dumbass in Ao’nung (+ Rotxo). He’s never thought a single decision through in his entire life (neither has Rotxo, he’s just here to vibe). They are menaces.

-Unfortunately for everyone, Jake and Tonowari created them from their own very loins, and they too, are dumbasses. If the RDA ever leave them alone the amount of bad decisions the five of them (and Rotxo) will get up to will be astronomical. There’s at least one incident that gets Jake and Tonowari exiled from their respective marui for the night and they have an Adult Men sleepover on the beach that is like the most fun either of them ever had, but they pretend it was no fun at all when they come back.

-After that Tonowari replaces Mo’at as Jake’s monthly drinking/gossip buddy. Tonowari has never met most of the Omaticayans, but he could ruin lives with some of the info he has.

-This one might be out of left field, but I think every single Sully child has had a crush to varying degrees on Spider at some point. I think Spider has never even remotely fathomed that anyone on planet Pandora has ever or will ever like him, and if anyone ever did he might just die of shock. He thinks he’s dying a virgin, probably at a young age.

-Ronal and Neytiri go on pretending to hate each other long after they became friends just for fun. No one figured it out until Neytiri was the first choice babysitter for Ronal and Tonowari’s new baby for like the tenth time.

-If Spider ever beats anyone at anything he believes they let him win and literally nothing can change his mind. He’s convinced baby Tuk let him win in a foot race one time, and that Lo’ak fell out of a tree on purpose to let him win a climbing race. The most criminal one is his claim that Ao’nung got a hole in his net intentionally so all his fish escaped and Spider had more. The joke is that no one other than Neteyam or Tsireya would ever let him win.

-The amount of times a Sully child accidentally dislocated Spider’s arm trying to pull him somewhere is way higher than anyone wants to admit, but Spider can now relocate his arm on his own like a pro. His pain tolerance is way higher than anyone’s should be. Kid just braces that shit against a tree and pops it back in and everyone is horrified every time. The first time it happened in front of the Metkayina kids Ao’nung threw up and then Lo’ak laughed until he cried. Spider shouldn’t use that arm for at least the rest of the day but he used it to shove Lo’ak for Ao’nung.

-Spider loves babies, will stop, drop everything to watch any baby, because he knows how much Na’vi treasure children and he never feels more important then when he gets to watch a little kid because he was trusted to keep the kid safe.

-Lo’ak and Spider are equally matched at sparring because Spider knows where Lo’ak is ticklish.

-One time Kiri and Lo’ak had a sleepover with Spider at the lab. Norm pretended to hate it but then let them sleep in the room with Grace’s tank and also made them cookies. It was the best night of Spider’s life. Tuk was too little to go and threw the most massive fit ever about it so Neteyam stayed back to keep her company and he was Very Mature and Not At All Jealous about it.

-They brought him back a cookie, and then everyone was tired all day because literally no one slept except for Tuk. They all took a nap halfway through the day all in a little puppy pile and that was the real sleepover.

-Post sleepover, the amount of printed out images of human Jake Sully from video logs with like dumb things drawn on him that have made their way around camp is insane. Norm made the kids draw mustaches on him for sure. Jake can’t take a single solitary step without there being a picture of him with a dick for a nose on a tent pole. He was probably stressed about something and this was Lo’ak’s brilliant Cheer Up Dad plan. It was the worst plan ever, but for some unknown reason it worked, and Jake keeps cackling at them like a crazy person when he sees them. Retaliatory Norm pics are in the works, Jake got all the kids in on it this time. Tuk is really good at drawing pa’li shit on Norm’s head.

-Neteyam knows everything about everyone so when he gets in on teasing and jokes his are fucking crazy accurate and targeted, you’ll never recover. Tuk has picked this up from him and she has that little kid talent to destroy you.

-Every single time someone goes somewhere Spider says some shit like “I hope I see you again!” and everyone knows it’s not a joke and no one finds it funny but he can’t stop doing it.

-The pact that was born between Ao’nung and Lo’ak to impress their respective love interests is the Fight Club of all pacts, either would kill the other to keep it quiet and not feel even a little bad about it. Lo’ak teaches Ao’nung to climb trees to impress Neteyam and Ao’nung teaches Lo’ak to surf to impress Tsireya. Ao’nung eats shit so hard that Lo’ak almost literally dies laughing but then Ao’nung doesn’t warn him about rip currents so he can rescue Lo’ak in front of Neteyam like he’s in Baywatch, coming out of the water all dramatically and with a lil hair flip and then presenting him with his half murdered little brother like a gift.

-The Sully children have been divvying up who gets what of Jake’s stuff when he dies since Tuk was like four. Obviously, they will be devastated, but it’ll be a little less sad when Kiri gets Jake’s coolest knife and not Lo’ak, or Tuk gets his best arm band before Neteyam can call dibs even tho it won’t fit her. It was a lot funnier before the RDA came back.

-No one has ever dared to do this to Neytiri’s stuff.

206 notes · View notes

book--wyrm · 27 days ago

Text

Pengu Ep 7 liveblog time!!

Oh boy.

Oh we are starting strong with a flashback huh

Oh no we are starting strong with some brotherly jealousy. Two minutes in and I am already leaning towards Oz killing his siblings to monopolize his mom's attention

"Is [Rex's car] made of real gold?" "It's just paint"

Not Jack smarter at 15 than Oz is at 50

NOT THE "PARENT NOT BEING PAID ENOUGH" COMING BACK

Also I was wrong Oz is the middle child it seems.

Oz such a lil cheater lol

Oh my god.

Ohhhh my god. That's almost worse than anything I could have expected.

I should have realized. I should have realized. A single moment of stupid, thoughtless, selfish cruelty is all it takes. And an unwillingness to ever face the reality of what he did.

And this makes his snapping at Vic for the Jack thing so much worse. Jack was the son who got shit done. And Oz killed him.

THE TAPPING AND THE BANGING AND THE TAPPING AND THE BANGING AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS FUCKIGN SHOW OH MY GOD I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS FUCKING SHOW HOW IS IT SUCH A BANGER EVEN WHEN IT MAKES ME WANNA DIE

Oh shit Vic's here lmao.

Why is there a gap between Sofia nabbing Francis and Sal showing up. Did sofia go it alone. I bet she did.

Fuck the guilt get me results

Love Sofia sending one of her boys to make sure Sal doesn't kill Oz. Sofia doesn't trust Sal, and Sal refutes the idea of Sofia leashing him. In any other show this would telegraph a late episode betrayal between them but with this show i really don't know

Love the scraping noise coming in before the visual

do you feel better ahhhhh

i need more sal and sofia

Sofia why cant you bring me breakfast too. i'll eat a singular toast for u

I love Francis ngl. She's so caustic even in the face of danger.

They didnt' have their umbrellas

Hahaha ngl sofia deserved that

oh my god i legit thought she was gonna brain julian with the kettle lmaoooo i love the way they do diegetic sound design

I kinda hope francis gets to kill julian ngl. i love julian but i just think its what francis deserves

"The Gigante and the Maroni families" not sal putting sofia's name first. this feels too prominent. i am scared

Oh boy oh boy oh boy if this wasn't a penguin show this would feel like a perfect place for Sal to twoface his opponent

Wow is sal dying of a heart attack. Right now? Bro. Timing.

Huh. I see what they're doing, with the stolen valor and the robbed victory. But I wish they'd set up the heart condition earlier.

Oh boy is this where Sofia breaks bad and kills a kiddo. Oh my god wait Gia is in a kid's psychiatric hospital Sofia literally reenacting her own trauma on this preteen she is so full of problems

SOFIA TURNING INTO HER DAD AND ALSO JULIAN HAHAHAHA

THIS IS A GIFT SOFIA BABY YOU NUTCASE

god i am glad she confessed though. like it was in the worst way possible to say that to a child but.

this is the only time we have seen sofia cry. not even when she found alberto.

DR SUBDROP DOING RAVE SHIT

sofia speedrunning self awareness in the penultimate episode

i am slightly afraid again that julian is gonna lobotomize sofia

sofia you were so close baby. you could have just walked away with your boy toy and a bag of cash and gone to metropolis

she should have gotten free wahhhhhhhhhh

we all know it's not gonna happen

we all know its not gonna happen

my heart is fucking palpatating rn

i need to pause my fucking blood pressure

IS SOFIA RUNNING FOR MAYOR. I WANT SOFIA TO RUN FOR MAYOR

AHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

OH MY GOD BOMB SHELTERING IN HIS BROTHERS GRAVES

HAHHAHAAH my prediction of Oz blowing it all to block sofia + sal was the wrong way around oh my god i love her so much

Oh wow. Wooowwwwww. Young Oz really breaking his mother and making her into the woman who makes him a monster.

is it bad i want him to find his brothers skulls down here. is that bad.

boo it didnt happen.

Wow mr cop actually came back huh.

well i was totally off base on everything!!! i am so happy

#hbo penguin #the penguin hbo

10 notes · View notes