#why did i have to make him sadder LOL

[bl4sphemy-archived]

ok ok I edited samael's backstory a bit? I made it so his parents sent him to a conversion camp, and ofc it didn't work so they gave him to his aunt, who accepted him for who he was...

[vaguely-concerned]

I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)

aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao

(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Jason never got to be 16. makes me sad.

Not to deny that Jason not being able to make it to 16 in his first life is sad, but I mean he did technically end up making it, and he made it to 17 and 18 and 21 and so on and so forth, it just happened "in round two" so to speak.

What I think is sadder though, is that depending on whether he was 15 or 14 years old when this happened:

There are one of two ways he would've spent his sixteenth year.

Option 1 (if he was 15 at the time of his ressurection):

(This is 1 year post initial hospitalization)

Or Option 2 (if he was 14 at the time of his ressurection):

(And this is 2 years post initial hospitalization, 1 year post escape from that facility)

Happy sweet 16th, Jason John Doe #265 :)

Batman Annual (1961-) #25

[dandylovesturtles]

I should be in bed lol but I wanted to write a turtle tot sick fic so here

I went into this with no plan and it ended up uh. way sadder than I intended. whoops.

cw: mentions of vomit

...

Blue slept through naptime. That should have been Splinter's first clue.

In the moment, he'd just been so happy to actually have four sleeping children that he'd taken the opportunity for his own nap, the old, tattered storybook he'd been reading them draped over his face. He never managed to get Blue to wind down enough to sleep, so he usually had to quietly entertain him with books or the tv on low until the others woke up. But his Baby Blue had conked out almost immediately today, and soon Splinter was snoozing right along with them.

Blue was also the last to wake up. That should have been the second clue.

Splinter was woken up by Orange, talking in loud, disjointed sentences with plenty of nonsense words as he played with an old plastic telephone Splinter had found them. Red was racing his toy cars, making his own sound effects as they skid across the floor and crashed into the wall. Only Purple was quiet, industriously sorting his legos by color and size.

Splinter sat up, letting the book slide off his face, and took stock. It was surprising to see Blue still curled up against his leg even in the midst of all the racket his brothers were making. "Blue?" he said softly, giving the little turtle a nudge. Blue blinked his eyes open, groggily looking around. "Naptime is over."

Blue pushed himself up into a sitting position, then rubbed clumsily at his eyes. He looked so tired still that Splinter debated telling him he could keep sleeping, even if it might make putting him to bed later more difficult.

But once Blue was up, he saw Red racing his cars and pushed quickly to his feet, hurrying over to join in the game. Almost immediately he was demanding Red hand over one of the cars and setting up an elaborate make-believe track for their race, so Splinter let it go.

Thirty minutes later, Blue tugged on Splinter's old sweatpants and said, "Daddy, my tummy hurts." In hindsight, this is exactly when Splinter should have put it together.

But the kids rarely got sick - a benefit of whatever Draxum had put in the gunk that turned them into this, Splinter assumed. Which was a blessing, because he was pretty limited in what medicine he could get in his condition. The boys having a hearty immune system was one of the few things Splinter had going for him.

So he hadn't moved to that conclusion. Instead he said, "Do you need to go potty?" and Blue had considered that very seriously for a few seconds before nodding and rushing off to the bathroom.

Orange threw the plastic phone into Purple's meticulously organized lego piles and Splinter moved on to the next crisis without another thought.

It was at dinner, when he caught Blue pushing his food (mac'n'cheese!) around without interest, that it finally clicked that maybe he should be worried.

"Blue, what's wrong?"

Blue didn't so much as look up. He shrugged, swirling his noodles around and around.

Splinter would be embarrassed to admit how long it took him to remember their earlier conversation, but it eventually came back to him. "Ah... Is your stomach still hurting?"

Blue's face scrunched up in misery, and he nodded.

Splinter groaned in exasperation. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did!"

"I mean after you went potty."

Blue grimaced. Instead of answering, he scooped up some mac'n'cheese and stuffed it in his mouth. He looked like he regretted it as soon as he'd done it.

"Do not spit that out," said Splinter immediately, because mac'n'cheese was one of the few things Purple would eat and if Blue spat it out in front of him it would go on his Bad Foods list for at least a month. And Orange had a habit of mimicking anything Blue did, which would only compound the problem.

Blue chewed and swallowed the mouthful agonizingly slowly. He looked so miserable afterward that Splinter felt bad about it.

"Are you going to throw up, Blue?" he asked, and got a furious head shake in response. "Are you just telling me that?" Another shake. "Do you want to keep eating?" A third shake. Splinter sighed and took his bowl from him. "Alright. I'll put this in the fridge, if you want it later."

Their mini-fridge was already stuffed full, but Splinter would simply have to make space, or throw all this mac'n'cheese out. He wished they had a bigger fridge, but just getting this back to the juncture in the sewers he called a home had been difficult enough.

He wished he had a bigger fridge. He wished he had a house. He wished he had a pediatrician to take Blue to. He wished he wasn't a rat man. He wished he and his kids were... normal.

It was a bad thought. He knew that as soon as he thought it, and he tried to push it down. The kids didn't need to know they weren't normal. That none of this was normal. He knew that, but...

"Throw up?" he heard Purple say, and then the telltale sound of him pushing his bowl away. Mac'n'cheese was on the Bad Foods list. Splinter groaned.

...

He found their old thermometer after the boys were finished eating. Getting a temperature from Blue was near impossible because he moved it around too much or spat it out before time was up, but Splinter would have to do his best.

After three tries, he got a reading that seemed accurate enough. Blue's body ran colder than a human child's, and it had taken observation and trial and error for Splinter to learn what constituted as a fever. As it was, Blue was only two degrees above his normal. So at least that wasn't too worrying.

He was still complaining that his stomach hurt, though. A stomach bug, then? Or just something he ate? Usually Red was the one who would put random things in his mouth unless Splinter kept a careful watch, but Blue and Orange were... adventurous eaters, too. It was possible.

They continued with their normal bedtime routine. Another thing Splinter had going for him was that his boys loved baths; getting them into their makeshift tub, even with lukewarm water, was always easy. From his research, Red, Blue, and Purple were all aquatic turtles, and Orange was not one to be left out of his brothers’ games no matter his biology.

Blue wasn't excited for bath time tonight, though. He sat quietly in the tub, making grumpy noises anytime he got splashed and playing only with his favorite blue shark toy, ignoring everything else. He definitely felt bad. Splinter was feeling increasingly terrible that he hadn't noticed.

He got them all toweled off and into their pajamas. Then into the pallet beds he had for them, all in one big shared alcove, a tattered curtain strung up for a semblance of privacy. They would need something more as they got older, but for now the boys seemed content to share space.

He tucked Red, Purple, and Orange in, then turned his attention to Blue. He had found an old bucket earlier that he (theoretically) used for mopping, and this he presented to Blue.

"If you are going to throw up, please do it in this," he told Blue. "We don't have any spare sheets."

"Not gonna," said Blue grumpily, pushing the bucket away.

"Ewww," whined Purple. "I don't want to share with Leo if he throws up."

"Not gonna!" Blue insisted, glaring at Purple, who glared back. Splinter sighed and pushed the bucket at Blue again.

"I am serious, Leonardo," he said, and that got Blue's attention. "If you throw up, do it in this bucket."

Instead of answering, Blue rolled over and scrunched himself up in a ball. That was the best Splinter was going to get, he supposed, so he just sighed and put the bucket next to Blue's bed.

"Good night, boys," he said as he got to his feet, ignoring the crackles from his back and knees.

"Good niiiight," came three echoes. Blue was giving him the silent treatment. Alright.

He went back to his own bed, sectioned off by an old divider screen he'd managed to find. Hopefully they could at least get through the night without disaster striking.

...

According to his beat up alarm clock, it was only two hours later when Red showed up by his bedside, shaking him awake urgently.

Splinter groaned his way into consciousness, blinking groggy eyes until his eldest son came into focus.

"Leo threw up," came Red's predictable report.

Splinter sighed, pushing his sheets aside and rising from his futon. "Did he make it in the bucket?"

Red's expression was not encouraging.

...

He had not made it in the bucket.

Blue sat stock still in the puddle of his own sick, eyes teary and expression a mix between stunned and embarrassed. Purple was pressed as close to the opposite wall as he could get, hands pressed tight over his nose and mouth. Orange was at Blue's side, patting his arm with his chubby little hand.

"Blue," Splinter snapped as soon as he saw the mess. "Why didn't you throw up in the bucket!?"

"Didn't think I was gonna," Blue croaked.

"Well, you did. All over your sheets." Splinter ran his hands over his tired eyes. "Now you have nothing for tonight. And who knows if I'll even be able to get the stain out. I may have to go all the way to the surface to get new ones, and do you know what a hassle that is!? The bucket was right here, Blue!"

"I'm sorry."

The miserable hiccup in Blue's voice effectively stopped Splinter's tirade, and he refocused on his son. Blue's tears had spilled over, streaking down his miserable face. He was shivering, hands clutching the fabric of his ruined sheets, wringing them tight. He looked terrified.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," he repeated. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Something inside Splinter cracked.

Leo was only four, by his best guess. He was a baby, still. A sick baby, and Splinter was yelling at him about... about bed sheets?

Blue didn't know that Splinter would have to steal him new sheets. He didn't know that Splinter feared every time he did something so risky, that it might expose their tiny family to hostile forces - the human authorities, Big Mama's goons, Draxum's gargoyles. He didn't know that Splinter should be taking him to a doctor right now. He didn't know that sleeping on a pallet bed in the sewers wasn't normal.

He just knew that he had thrown up, and his dad was mad about it.

Immediately, Splinter stooped and scooped the still-apologizing Blue into his arms. He was getting bigger all the time, and, somehow, Splinter was getting smaller, but he could still hold his boys in his arms, still cradle them against his chest.

"Blue... Leo, listen to me."

"I'm sorry," Blue mumbled again, followed by a sad, wet hiccup.

"Shh, shh, no, my son, please listen." He waited until teary eyes were turned on him to continue. "You don't need to apologize. You did nothing wrong."

"Missed the bucket," said Blue, and Splinter shook his head.

"That's alright. You're sick. It is my job to take care of these things." He scratched at the back of Blue's shell with the arm holding him, something he knew always calmed Blue down. Sure enough, he felt his boy begin to relax. "Do not worry about the sheets. If Daddy needs to get more, he will. For now we will all share."

Blue sniffed, and buried his face in Splinter's chest. That was a good sign. Splinter kept up the scraching.

"I'm sorry I yelled. You aren't in trouble, Blue. You're alright."

Blue sniffled again. Hiccupped one last time. His tears were drying up, and his little voice said, "S'okay, Daddy."

"Oh, my Baby Blue... Thank you."

He still felt terrible as he lowered Leo back to his bed and started to strip away the soiled sheets, but Leo had calmed down considerably. He kept the bucket close, though, even as he laid back down again on his pillow.

"Leo can have my blanket," said Red, already pulling the old thing over. Splinter smiled gratefully at him.

"Thank you, Red. Blue, do you think you will throw up again?"

Blue shrugged. "Dunno."

"That's alright. It's okay if you do." Splinter smoothed the blanket over Blue, not tucking him in so he could move if he needed to. "I'll get this sheet washed out and be back, alright?"

Blue nodded. He was still gripping the bucket with one hand. Splinter rubbed his head, then stood up with his bundle of soiled sheets.

When he returned, with water for Blue, he'd thrown up again - in the bucket, this time. Orange was still by him, rubbing his arm, while Red sat behind him, supporting his back. Even Purple had come close, awkwardly patting at Blue's leg while pointedly avoiding looking at the bucket.

"Thank you for taking such good care of Blue," he told them, getting three beaming smiles in return.

They were all going to have the bug by tomorrow. Splinter would need to find more buckets.

[undeadcannibal]

Could you maybe do 141+ Alejandro finding out their 'citizen' partner was actually an ex-mercenary?

Summary: How Task Force 141 and Alejandro would react to finding out their ‘civilian’ partner is an ex mercenary.

Genre: Headcanons, request(s) Characters featured: Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, and Alejandro.

Warnings: None!

A/N: Hopefully I didn’t make this like, sadder than wanted lol. It just sorta happened. Regardless, thank you so much for the request, I hope y’all enjoy! ( Gif credit: xxx )

Price―

He’s embarrassed it takes him so long to notice the signs, but when he does, he doesn’t say a word.

He’ll act normal the entire time, playing the part of your lovely partner until he’s got enough information. The proof that he needs before calling you out on it.

When he’s certain of your past, he’s waiting till he’s home to call you out on it. May or may not have the team on stand by as well just in case he needs backup and morale support.

He’ll at least try and hear you out first, ask you many questions as to why you hid it, turning the situation into a sort of soft interrogation with how he goes about things in time.

He wants to believe you have a good reason, so rest assured you better have a damn good one as to why you hid what you hid from him.

Caught between wanting to know every detail of what you did and why, but also worries that he might not like the answer he receives.

Soap―

At first, he tries to convince himself he’s just being paranoid. Imagining things that aren’t true.

Over time, he’s certain that there’s too many instances for them all to be coincidental.

Doesn’t approach the situation alone, definitely trusts Ghost to hear him out, asking him for his opinion on the matter.

The two go about the situation together, but once he’s sure that you were definitely an ex ‘merc’, he’s taking it very seriously.

At first, he’d be livid but slowly come to realize that maybe he should hear you out. He really wants to give you the benefit of the doubt, believe you’ve done what you did for a good reason.

Much like Price, he’ll have a long talk with you before making any rash decisions or jumping to conclusions.

Has many, many questions about what you got up to for a paycheck and why exactly. Especially since he’s heard rumors about how ruthless some can be after some time in the ‘business’.

Gaz―

Much like Soap, I can see him being a bit in denial until there’s too many instances to deny anymore.

However, instead of consulting Ghost, he’s going straight to Price. He trusts him - confides in him - and asks him what he should do regarding the situation.

After Price gives him his opinion on the matter, he’s leaving to be alone to think for a long while on it.

Once he’s made up his mind, he’ll try and act normal, but it’s clear something is bothering him.

If you ask about it before he confronts you, he’ll be upfront about what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling, asking you many questions about why you hid it from him, etc.

Depending on the outcome, it may or may not be a deal breaker for him. He’s unsure what to think, how to feel about your relationship. Just confused and paranoid all around, poor man.

Like Alejandro, he hopes it’s all in the past, and for good reason, too.

Ghost―

Oh, once he notices the signs, he’s feeling all sorts of things: he’s livid, conflicted, and very untrustworthy of you after.

Stewing on the information by his lonesome for longer than he should, he hesitates with bringing it to the team’s attention. Feels ashamed he didn’t know sooner.

Once he’s got information regarding your background, he’s immediately heading home to confront you about your past.

Feels a heavy weight on his heart as the two of you discuss everything. He’s not letting you leave till you’ve told him every detail as to why you hid it from him.

Depending on how the confrontation goes, it could possibly be a deal breaker for him. He doesn’t trust and love easily, so best believe it’ll take some time for him to come back around to you once again. He won’t be entirely cold, but you’ll definitely have to earn his trust back afterwards.

Wants to assume you’ve done what you did for good reasons but can’t say unless he knows what your past work was.

Alejandro―

Much like Ghost, due to personal reasons, once he sniffs out any sort of hints that you're an ex merc, he’s doing his best not to immediately assume the worst right away.

He really wants to hear you out but will struggle with confronting you.

After he’s found every little bit of information of your past that he can, he’s hesitating on making a scene right away.

Confides and wants to know Rudy’s honest opinion no matter how harsh he might think it will be.

Really, unless you’re upfront with him after he finally brings it up with you, he’ll worry about your past depending on what kind of work you’ve done for pay. Hopes to God that you’ve certain limitations you refuse to go against.

[moonrisecoeur]

carnage — leon kennedy

author’s note: this is a secondary piece to apathy, another fic of mine!! that fic was mostly a vent fic, as i wrote it to kinda soothe myself and my own worries about how i feel as a person. however!! this fic was requested to be significantly darker and sadder, so if you don’t vibe with that, then i have good news for u !! leon and reader actually lived happily ever after in that universe!! the original intent of that fic is that the reader just has the self perception of a bad person but is actually not at all!! but this fic… is not that haha.. 

author’s note: if you see typos, no you don’t. they’re not real. this fic is... really messy. i'm kinda ashamed but i've been working on it so long that i need to just post it lol.

word count: 5.3k 

content: leon x reader, sub!leon, dom!fem!reader, angst angst angst, biting, hickieys, riding, choking, leon gets lightheaded and passes out, violent language. there's also a reference to a scene from apathy but from more of leon's recollection and memory! :)

warning: this fic is dark content, containing the topics and depictions of emotional abuse, manipulation, love-bombing ish, narcissistic reader, along with dubcon as reader doesn’t listen when leon expresses a boundary around choking. 

—

notes:

“you’re killing me here,” he says, a soft tone to his gravel-like voice. he is tired, exasperated. you are ripping him apart, stealing any sense of joy from his aching soul. he gives and gives and gives and he doesn’t know how much longer he has in him before you…  before maybe he admits that you were right. maybe you would ruin him.

you don’t know the half of it, you think. maybe i will really kill you one of these days.

—

leon is growing.. tired of you. 

not really. that’s a lie. he loves you dearly, so much that it kills him. you refuse to open up to him and he respects your boundaries. he just can’t keep begging you to let him in. he can’t do this forever. 

he’s not mad that you’re closed off, that you’re a loner and you’re introverted. he accepts you for what you are. he loves you regardless, but can’t you see this hurts him? can’t you at least make an attempt to make him feel better? pushing him away only hurts him, and why did you agree to a relationship if you knew that all you were going to do is hurt him? 

he supposes you warned him. that beautiful night that he convinced you to let him stay in your heart. he looks back at that moment, how you looked close to tears, pushing him back, telling him that you’ll ruin him and anything else you touch, and all he could think about is how badly he wanted to kiss you, to hold you close and wipe away the tears of frustration. he’s fond of that moment, when you decided to stay with him. when you said you’d take your time, move slowly, but you’d eventually let him in. he just had to be patient.

but its been months, and leon hates being wrong, but he might have been that night. 

–

leon’s always seen the good in you. he admires how gentle and sweet you are. you say it’s just a facade, and you know what? he doesn’t believe you. he knows you’re trying to protect yourself, but you’re lying. the version of you that you think is the real you is actually the facade. he knows it. he believes it, believes in you.

“i will begin to despise you if i let you in, you realize that, right?” you said to him that night, and he just shook his head, smiling. he adores you, almost amused at how you were making yourself out to be an awful monster in hopes he’d have understood that he could never fix you.

“and i will adore every moment of your resentment,” he said, and then followed it up with a whisper, under his breath, one you might not have heard, “i will let you ruin me.”

your touch is lethal, that much he’s certain of. he knows you’re not trying to hurt him, he’s convinced it's not in your nature to be intentionally cruel, “i won’t get better. i won’t change for you. this is what you’re stuck with.”

but what was he supposed to do? listen to you? heed your warning? he’s too foolish, too lovesick.

“it’s okay,” he reassures, reciprocating your harsh touch with his gentle one, fingertips making acquaintances with the way your skin feels in his grasp, the warmth of your touch. he’s starting to feel like this beautiful monster in front of him is a lot more human than she feels, “i like you as you are.”

-

leon doesn’t quite remember when you got so overbearingly possessive. maybe you were a little controlling, a little too demanding. it didn’t really make sense because anytime he tried to be possessive over you, you hated it. you certainly weren’t clingy. leon learned to control the instinct, the one that screamed in his head that you were his.  he gets it. you’re independent, not exactly into the jealous boyfriend type, sure. it only hurts his ego a little bit. 

he doesn’t really even remember when your behavior started going downhill. it was just like.. one day, he woke up, and you had left. not actually, you were just outside, but it feels symbolic somehow. he calls your name, and you don’t answer. he takes a couple steps closer, but he gets this eerie feeling he’s stepping into dangerous territory. he wonders if he should turn back, give you some time and let your soul come back to your body. 

“i don’t love you,” you said to him that day. 

it shattered him momentarily, but he knew your ways. he was aware of how you act and talk, your bluntness didn’t even surprise him anymore. he learned not to try and fight you on this stuff anymore.

that’s not true.. is what he wanted to say.

“…since when?” is what he actually ended up saying. 

you sigh, “i don’t know. i just woke up today and i realized i didn’t love you anymore.”

“do you… feel love for someone else?” he asks, but that’s not what he’s really asking. leon would never believe you if you said you cheated on him. you don’t even like people. you could count on your hand the amount of people you liked to talk to. 

leon maintains being one of them, of course. how could he believe that you made a connection with another man when you can only tolerate him? 

so, what he’s really asking is ‘do you… feel anything right now?’. sometimes emotions go away. sometimes you find yourself sitting outside in the early morning even though it’s cold and you’re shivering, wondering why you don’t love your boyfriend anymore. 

he puts his jacket over your shoulders. that feels symbolic somehow too.

it usually passes, but there’s something so final in your tone. like… for the first time, leon was worried you’re being truthful. he was worried you didn’t love him.

he had every reason to be. you used to pull away and then come right back to him, and now… you almost seem to resent him. crazy, it’s almost like you said this would happen. he hates that he was wrong about you, he hates that you were right. 

you flinch away when he touches you sometimes. your words are harsher than usual, more venomous, more lethal. you’re slipping away from him, you’re running away, and he’s begging for you to come back to him. just come back to him.

and even now, he looks at you and you aren’t the girl he fell in love with. but maybe you never changed. maybe he has just been blind. 

maybe you were exactly who you said you’d be. 

did you even want him? or would you get off anyway on taunting him?

did he mean anything to you?

-

“i am your… sculpture. your muse. i am everything you made me to be,” he says softly, one day during a vicious argument (only one of you is truly venomous), his eyes still red from the tears you made him spill, “if you do not like me, or if you don’t like what i’ve become, it is your own fault. i am only what you… did to me.”

he says pretty words that tug on your heartstrings if only to get some kind of empathy out of you. you’d normally scoff, spitting at him that he was a broken mess before you fixed him up, made him useful to somebody. 

“you act like i ruined you. like i made you worse. i did not drag you down with me. we were both broken. both disasters who just wanted to be loved,” you know you’re bullshitting just for pity points. doesn’t change the face that leon almost falters. almost gives in, lets you win. you were right, in a way. you were just being intentionally oblivious. 

“me wanting to be loved was… so much different. i wanted to be cherished and…held dear to you. you wanted a trophy that would make you feel better about yourself.”

“i am not the monster you say i am,” you scowl, finally he sees your harshness, your cruelty, and your dismissiveness in full force. how was he so blind?

“you’re right…” he says, “you… are so much worse.”

“then push me off of you, make me leave,” you groan, pinning him down like a caged animal. 

“i’m not… i..” i stutters, looking up the ceiling, “oh my god..”

“i am the only god you get to call out for,” you say as you press kisses to his collarbone, “i hold that power over you. i am your god.”

“i won’t worship you anymore,” he gasps, but his hands reach up to hold your hips, latching onto you for support and intimacy, like you are everything he’s ever needed and he despises you for it, “not what you’ve become. i can’t accept this…. version of you.”

“this is me, leon,” your voice is distant. resigned. he’s given up on you. and you’ve given up on him. 

so why do you demand his reverence so desperately? if you didn’t want him to run, why didn’t you treat him right in the first place?

“i love you, you know,” he says, tears pricking at his eyes, “i am just your design, molded to how you wanted me, but you designed me to love you… so that’s what i do.”

“i didn’t ask you to destroy yourself for me.”

“but i did anyway,” he closes his eyes, breathing ragged, “but i did and i did it because i loved you. i did it so that maybe one day you wouldn’t run away from me if i loved you too much. i.. i don’t act overbearing or clingy like i am inside because i am horrified of you leaving me. if i try too hard, if i want you too much, if am too desperate for your company… i will lose you. i can’t live with that.”

“then why do you call me worse than a monster? if you need me so badly?”

“because i..  i wanted you to destroy me and build me anew. recreate me in your image so you could have exactly what you wanted. make me exactly what you wanted!” he’s desperate for you to understand, but you never will. you don’t know desperation like he does, “i.. i just made the naive assumption that you would love your creation more than you loved what i used to be. that somehow.. if i let you ruin me, you’d finally love me.”

“i do love you,” you whisper, voice heavy with a tragedy you are all too familiar with.

“no… you don’t love anyone,” he bites, his teeth grazing his own lip like he would draw his own blood, “not even yourself. you’re incapable.”

“then it is your fault..” you say, cruelty laced into your voice, but how could you not be cruel when leon’s finally biting back? “you did this to yourself. you ruined yourself for someone you knew couldn’t love you.”

he feels broken. betrayed. how is this his fault? how could you hate him so intensely? how could you want him to suffer? do you enjoy watching him suffer? is that the only way he can make you happy anymore?

is that the only thing you want from him? his suffering? his tears?

does he give that to you? just… as one final way to make you happy? he’d ruin himself again and again to please you if you said so.

he’d give you anything.

you push him down, and he stumbles back onto the bed, looking up at you nervously. he notices the look in your eyes, the look of possession, you see him like an object or a toy. maybe he is. a trophy. you look at him like he’s something that makes you feel proud to carry around. leon kennedy. he’s a survivor, he's a killer, been through literal hell on earth. yet… your hands on him make him feel weak. he feels like he’s 21 again, on that bridge holding onto the last girl that dug her nails into his heart. 

“you’re fucking mine,” you growl in his ear, and he gasps and shudders, when did you get so close to him? you can’t put your hands on him like this, you can’t do this, his mind will go numb to the pain you cause and suddenly he’ll be held beneath you, inescapably yours. 

“you.. you need to… oh my god..” he was so close to saying it. so, so close. he tries so hard to push you away. to get you off of him. not in a way that he couldn’t stop you if he really didn’t want this. but that's just it; he’s trying to convince himself that he doesn’t want you for his own sake.

you make it so hard to hate you, truly. 

“you’re mine,” you growl in his ear, your nails digging into him like claws of a predator into its most delicious prey, “i own you. say that back to me.”

he cries like a baby, hating that he was naive enough to believe that the devil could love him, she could never love him and he could never please her enough to make her stay, “i’m yours, and.. and you own me,” he says, sniffling. he buries his head into the pillow. you push him, hold him down like he’s your captive. he might as well be. 

“and that means i own your pretty body, doesn’t it?” you smirk, god this control over him has always been addicting. you.. really own him.

“y-yeah..” 

“that means i can do whatever i want with you, doesn’t it? i can break you in every way possible, like a girl scribbling on and cutting the hair of her barbies. you don’t exist outside of me, outside of my pleasure.”

-

“fuck, you’re so hot when you’re sad..” you groan as you press kisses to his hip, and he didn’t even realize you had gotten his shirt off and his pants pulled down. he must have dissociated again. he sighs, upset but unable to will himself up to stop you.

at least you’re trying to please him, he supposes. your hands wandering all over him makes him feel alive, but he wonders if you’re imagining wrapping your hands around his throat and squeezing until he stops moving. maybe you would take a liking to killing. 

or maybe it’s just because it’s leon. leon is your weak, pathetic boyfriend that you’ll play with like a ken doll until you’re bored of him, and then you’ll either put him out of his misery or leave him to rot. maybe murder is mercy for him. the worst part is he looks just like a ken doll, blue eyes and blonde hair, except he’s a bit more broken. a bit scarred. damaged. is that why you don’t want him? he’s not perfect enough?

and then it happens. 

everything stops, his breath catches in his chest, he flinches almost like he’s surprised you still had it in you, but you kiss him. it’s not possessive and dark and commanding like he expects, like he’s begun to tolerate, but it’s you. it’s your softness, hidden underneath, that gentle lover that he misses so desperately. she’s back. she’s real again. 

you rest your forehead against his as you pull away from the kiss, leon chasing your lips briefly before remembering this is your moment, at your pace, but he’s looking up at you like you put the stars in the sky, his eyes sparkling with magic and passion and hope he hasn’t felt in a while. 

“come back to me..” he whispers gently, “i miss you.”

“i.. know,” you frown, and leon can tell you feel guilty. you are the monster in his nightmares, but you are also his guardian angel, “i told you, leon-”

“i know you did, i- i don’t want to fight with you right now,” his eyes flutter closed as you press your lips to his forehead, god he feels so cared for in moments like these.

but he knows they’re not real. he knows this version of you isn’t real, that your love is a false pretense and he is a fool for being swept off his feet by such an obvious facade. a monster that loves you is still a monster.

and leon knows it. knows that you love him, despite his insecurities and doubts. maybe it was safer or easier to ponder whether or not you loved him, to listen to you when you said you didn’t, instead of realizing that you did… just not enough.

he feels your grasp on his waist, the way your hands and mouth ravage his body. he knows you’re possessive, but it still shocks him how truly cruel you are. 

“please…” he whimpers, “be gentle with me..”

“ah, leon.. survived the apocalypse but can’t handle his girlfriend biting him a little too hard..” you chuckle, and it’s soft and you’re being sweet with him again and everything is okay. 

“don’t be like that, come on. it still hurts,” his voice is shaky, making you smile. such a sadist.

“don’t be such a baby,” you tease.

“just- okay, fine, but i don’t want any hickies or bite marks or anything. n-not anywhere visible, at least,” he stumbles when your fingertips drag across his collarbone, “please, baby. i need to hide them, my… my coworkers will get worried.”

he sees it in your eyes. mercy. begging always saved him.

“hmm… open your mouth,” you say, and he’s not even trying to follow the command, but the surprises causes his jaw to drop slightly, and you lean closer, before spitting directly into his mouth. 

your saliva tastes like your favorite flavor of gum, and leon smiles as he recollects that fact. it’s sweet of you to only do something like that to him when it wouldn’t be entirely unpleasant. maybe you didn’t think it out that far, but he likes to think you did. he wants to think you were considerate. he groans as he swallows it without even having to ask, almost sounding dehydrated, like you are his lifeline. 

your intentions, while a tad bit humiliating, are not cruel. but again, you’re showing possession. leon is yours to do whatever you please with. it’s marking your territory, in a way.

“thank you..” he shudders, hands clutching your arms, keeping you close. he’s not truly grateful, but he’s learned his place. 

“you’re welcome,” your tone is condescending, but leon’s thoughts are too far away to realize that. all he knows how to do anymore is be obedient.

a brief silence settles for a moment, as you rest atop of him, gazing at him like a predator does their next meal. 

“do you… want to fuck me now?” he asks awkwardly, cringing at how completely uncool he is. 

maybe someone else would laugh at his lack of charisma, but you just smile softly. 

“is that what you want?” in truth, he does want this. he does want you. and he prides himself on giving you whatever you want, everything, absolutely anything. it’s too bad all you know how to do is take.

he sighs, feeling heavy-hearted and drained. he can’t pinpoint why, “i love you. do whatever you want.”

you blink, and he wonders for a moment if you feel guilty again, but part of him can tell you’re not.

you narrow your eyes. he seems.. broken down by this point. honestly, ‘broken down’ might not exactly be the right wording. ‘broken in’ might be more appropriate. like a pair of boots that are only comfortable once you rough them up a little. 

it’s at that moment that he realizes the softness he saw in you just now is fading away rapidly, replaced again by the monstrous beast that is his darling lover. at least she’s familiar now. it’s his fault. you are exactly who you said you were. he should have believed you. 

he thinks this is it, that this is the last time he’ll get to have you before you leave him. you steal all of his sunshine like a parasite, robbing him of all of his life energy and taking it for yourself. the only way you can feel whole anymore is to take leon apart and use him for everything his mortal body and soul has to offer. 

he remembers being the light in your life, cheering you up when you were down. you were his moon, and he shined his light onto you like the sunlight gives way to moonlight. 

but that isn’t real anymore. you aren’t the damaged but loving person he used to know. 

“are you… going to leave after?” he asks. he’s pouting ever so slightly but he doesn’t realize it.

you just gaze at him, eyes soft but knowing, and he can’t help but crying. he tries so hard not to be clingy or ‘too much’. makes himself less and less to make you comfortable. 

“please don’t leave me,” he cries, “please, i can’t bear to think about it. my… my love, please..”

part of him feels like if he lets you leave again, you won’t ever come back.

he can’t understand why he’s so desperate for you to stay. he feels your hand around his neck as you lean in close to kiss his shoulder, you don’t squeeze but your presence is known and feared just like you like it, your other hand falling lower and lower until… 

leon can’t fathom just how wrong he was about you, about everything in general, but what hurts the most is putting the timeline together. it starts with him realizing he loved you. you realizing you loved him. the gentle, sweet months he got to spend with you. sure, you were unconventional, but he’s not the nuclear family type either. 

to him realizing you didn’t love him, actually. 

to then realizing that you did love him, but not enough to change for him. that one hurt the most.  knowing that you’ll always choose your comfort over him.

and to finally coming to terms with the fact that your love is strong and real but it is rotten, that you and your heart are corrupting him and made something tragic out of him. 

he sighs, letting it all happen. he might as well let you have what you want. he feels your hand rubbing against the fabric of his pants over his crotch, teasing him. 

he’s almost happy you’re using him one last time for sex. it’ll give him something to distract his mind from the sadness that’s creeping into his heart.

“i think… my boy needs to feel good.. so he can stop thinking sad thoughts..” your free hand pulls his sweats down and feel him up over his boxers, and he hates that he’s getting hard. that he likes this. he likes being taken by the big, bad monster.

he lets you touch him, lets you strip him down both metaphorically and physically, until he’s bare, a blank canvas ready to be ruined. he has literal scars from bites that drew blood, teeth bared into his skin like you’re trying to consume him alive. 

maybe you are.

this isn’t intimate sex between two lovers. this is carnage. this is ravaging, taking what is rightfully yours. it may not be violence in its usual form, but you are no less deadly. 

you really can’t help yourself when you have the urge to grab his throat, can you? hold his life in your hands, why don’t you?

he wants to make love to you, to hold you close like he used to, fuck you until your mind let go of its need to be in control, to be apathetic and composed and cold and just let you be the soft soul he knows is in there, fucking somewhere in there. 

instead of that, he gets something completely different. claiming. ownership. you mark your territory like an violent dog, biting and scratching and ruining him until everyone else in his life got the hint that he wasn’t allowed to play with anyone else. 

you’re violently possessive, that’s the only way he can put it. and even now, when he should be kissing you and moaning in your ear about how good you feel around his cock, how perfect you are for him, how he wants to be good for you, exactly what you want in your man, he.. can’t. 

all he can do is whine and whimper like an injured puppy. 

instead of kissing you, he’s begging for mercy. instead of making love to you, he’s lost in a daze of pain, mixed in with the pleasure of his cock buried inside of you. your teeth fucking hurt when you bite him like a damn vampire. just like the last time you were in a possessive mood, you bite him hard enough to make him bleed.

“i… i love you,” he whimpers after the fact, his voice is shaky like he’s desperate, “i love you but you’re… i don’t like it when you’re like this”

“who do you belong to?” you ask, suddenly. 

it feels unrelated, but even though leon’s eyebrows furrow at the question, he responds, like it’s an instinct, or rather more it’s a response he’s gives hundreds of times, “you. it’s.. always gonna be you.”

“… i love you too, you know. sometimes i think you don’t believe me,” rich coming from the ‘i don’t love anybody’ girl, he thinks, “but i do. i’m always gonna love you. you just don’t like the way i love you.”

“because the way you love me is killing me.”

“i’m not a killer. you asked me to let you in. this is the real me, leon. if you don’t like what you see… then don’t look.”

“i do but i-”

“you wish you were the exception to the rule. you want to be the reason i change. honestly, leon? i’ll never get better. and i told you that months ago, but you never listened. you thought you could fix me.”

“you aren’t broken,” he whispers.

“then why do you insist on changing me?” 

he scoffs, “that’s rich coming from you.” he knows you’ll get annoyed at him for his sass, but he can’t help it. you’re a violent hypocrite and he adores you, but he can’t ignore the irony of you feeling forced to change.

you tighten your grip on his neck, and he should have told you months ago but he hates being choked. brings up old memories that he’d rather not remember. he doesn’t really know why he lets you do it, why he tolerates it. maybe it’s because you seem so pleased to be in control of his life like that. he can’t afford to piss you off too much. you might like murder a little too much. 

“why do you insist on fixing me?” you ask again. loosing up your grip to let him talk.

“i… i never wanted to fix you. i just wanted you to love me. i wanted… to make you happy.”

he lets out the cutest gasp when you finally use your free hand to pull his cock free, not even bothering to pull his boxers down all the way.

“awh, you’re still so soft, baby. do you not want me?” you taunt him, and he quickly tries to reassure you, shaking his head. 

“n-no! i do! i want you, just.. just give me a second..” he stutters helplessly, but his voice gives out when you lean down to kiss his hip bone, and then your lips trail down lower and lower, adoring his thighs with the remnants of your lip gloss, “oh god…”

he’s pretty. pretty like a prey animal. 

you decide that maybe its not fair to him that he’s almost butt naked and you’re still fully clothed, so you undress too. leon appreciates that you do it to please him. 

“i… you’re so fucking pretty,” he whimpers, begging you to kiss him again. can he just pretend like you’re making love? instead of… whatever this is? 

his cock isn’t super big, so it’s not hard to fit inside, especially since he’s just barely getting hard. seeing your body was enough to get him going. he likes everything about you. every beauty mark or mole or freckle, every scar and each divot and curve, he adores you.

your smile isn’t appreciative. it is greedy. avaricious. you.. need more of him. 

“you feel… so perfect inside of me..” you groan, the grip on his neck tightening as he obediently rocks his hips up to fuck you. his hands grasp at the sheets, white knuckles displaying how tense he feels. 

a shaky, almost fearful moan escapes his throat, “please.. please don’t squeeze that hard.”

again, leon doesn’t like being choked.. so many times he’s almost been killed, and yet… you don’t seem to care. you don’t squeeze hard enough to make him pass out, but he’s getting lightheaded, so much so that you’re having to pick up the slack of bouncing on his cock since he’s unable to keep pace. he just lays there helplessly while you steal away his life.

“leon..” you tease, holding in a giggle, and trying to stir his attention, but his eyes get cloudy and he can’t focus on you, can’t look you in the eye meaningfully.

all he can respond with is a half-hearted attempt at a ‘huh?’. it’s honestly kind of cute how easily fucked out he gets. you ease up, and he breathes deeply for the first time in a couple minutes, gasping out ‘thank you’s like you just saved his life instead of almost killing him. 

“i’m sorry you got stuck with someone like me, baby,” you murmur, you’re not really sorry. tears fall down his cheeks, and you lean down to lick them up like a dog drinks her water. he cringes, disgusted at the feeling, but you own him so intrinsically.. how could he ever stop you from doing exactly what you wanted to him? this was your world. he just lived in it.

—

leon wakes up the next morning, expecting to be alone in your shared bedroom after you had left. you’re not completely awful, you clean him up and bandage any cuts after you finished with him… and leon realizes he doesn’t exactly remember anything after you choking him a little too aggressive, he must have passed out. did he cum even while unconscious? he’s almost impressed.

he doesn’t remember you leaving, just the looming thought in his mind that you will leave. there was no doubt about it.

you’re not there, clearly, and he doesn’t hear you anywhere in the bathroom or in the kitchen. the silence is deafening. 

maybe you’re on a walk to clear your head? 

maybe… you’re really gone.

but your stuff is still at home, so he thinks you might still stay. he cant decide if that’s a good thing. sure, he can’t exist without you, so codependent it’s pathetic, but… you’re not exactly good for him. maybe it’d do him some good to pull himself together and get over you. if he even can.

he loves you. helplessly. desperately. but you love his pain more than you love him. that’s the truth and there’s no denying that. you are.. exactly who you said you’d be. it’s his fault for not believing you.

[navia3000]

Cowboy Like Me - B. Cross

Pairings : Benny Cross x Reader

Warnings : Cursing

Genre : Angst, or, where reader and Benny cross paths (lol) after a nasty break up

A/N : I haven’t actually watched this movie, and this is a lot of word vomit, and I hated the ending, but I hope I did it some justice.

Masterlist

Requests are OPEN

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The bar was alive with the chatter of its usual patrons. Vandals littered the floor, reminding the young girl of an all too open wound.

Y/N Y/L/N had a history with the Vandals, rather, a Vandal. Benny Cross. The man she dedicated a year and three months of her life to. The man who left her and threw their relationship away as though it were an empty cigarette box, old and useless.

Now, she had been struggling with a depressive episode ever since, and for the first time in months, her good friend Kathy convinced her to make an appearance in the Vandals favorite bar, but only after assuring her that a certain biker would not show up, her friend claiming he was off on some personal mission or whatnot.

So, there she sat, beer in hand, surrounded by some of her closest friends. Her favorite Vandals were surprised albeit excited to see her, being shut out from her life after Benny Cross was done with her.

She was hurt and bitter, that much was obvious, and the rest of the gang knew it. Before her arrival, Kathy had threatened everybody not to bring up Cross, and Y/N was grateful for it.

Any mention of him would be enough to bring her to tears, even being in the bar was toeing the line.

“So, how you been, Y/N?” Johnny, her prior second favorite Vandal which had moved up to first, asked her.

Her eyes wandered down to the beer in her hand, picking up on the underlying question in Johnny’s question. “I’ve been good,” her head nodded, “working a lot, but good.” She was lying. She was still picking up the pieces of herself which Benny broke.

“Well, either way, you know you can count on all of us in case you need anything,” Betty, sweet as ever, assured her.

“I appreciate it, Betty, I really do.” And she did. She knew the Vandals would be there for her always, and she did appreciate it, but, they would always remind her of him. And she didn’t feel as though she could move on with those little reminders of him.

Which is why, without telling any of her friends, this was a goodbye. She had already put in a transfer for her job, somewhere far, without any trace of Vandals or bikers or Benny fucking Cross.

As the conversation diverted from the topic of her wellbeing, she could feel herself getting sadder and sadder. She didn’t want to leave. She wishes she didn’t have to, she wishes Benny had never left, she wishes she could go back five months to when everything was fine.

And, as Benny Cross walked through the bar door, she felt her heart squeeze as it was brought back to the last day she ever saw him. The bar quieted upon his entrance. The tears sprung to her eyes. A soft hand reached for hers. But her eyes were locked on him.

She watched as his expression turned into a confused one upon the bar patrons staring, then into one of realization as his eyes traveled across the Vandals’ faces, only stopping when they reached hers. She watched as his mouth opened and closed, his body glued to the dirty floor.

The patrons eyes traveled back and forth between her and him, her and him, her and him. And they watched as he took the first step further into the bar, whilst she simultaneously shot out of her chair and sped towards the bathroom.

Her tears were flowing, her breath coming in and out, hyperventilating. She made quick work of the lock on the door, turning to grip the sink, knuckles white. She couldn’t hide in the bathroom from him, she knew that. But she couldn’t possibly face him.

What she didn’t know, though, was that in the room next to where she stood, was the boy who was just as heartbroken as she was. He was shocked to see her sitting there after all this time.

He didn’t know why he left. He felt lost and trapped, one day packing his stuff up and leaving without word. All he knew was that he regrets that day more than anything in his life, and he wasn’t known for being a sentimental guy.

He walked towards the table she evacuated, and listened as Kathy and Betty scolded him, even Johnny made some comments towards him.

He took a seat, hands patting down his pockets for his cigarettes, running to them for emotional support. Twenty minutes went by before she finally walked out of the bathroom. He immediately caught notice of her red eyes and smudged makeup. His heart physically hurt at the knowledge that he was the reason she was upset. Whilst Y/N didn’t know it, Kathy had updated Benny on her wellbeing, and he knew she wasn’t doing good. But, he was at a loss for what to do.

He stood as she sped past the table and out the door, racing after her. What he would say, he didn’t know, but he had to say something.

“Y/N,” he yelled after her, “Y/N,” his fingers curled around her arm, forcing her to stop and turn around.

Her bloodshot eyes drilled holes into his; he detected the anger and hurt behind her irises.

He hesitated for a couple seconds before speaking, “I’m sorry.” As the words left his mouth, he wished to put them back in.

“You’re sorry?” The question came out sarcastic. “That’s all you have to say? You pick up and leave without a damn word and all you have to say for yourself is ‘I’m sorry’?” She scoffed at his silence, turning to leave once again.

He was going to let her go, but watched as she stopped and turned back towards him. “I loved you, Cross. I was ready to fuckin’ marry you. But you broke me. And I fuckin’ hate you for it.”

“I had to, Y/N.” His words made her angrier. “I didn’t know what to do, I’ve never been one to settle down, but, I started falling for you and I got scared. I was a coward and I’m sorry.” His words held a sincere tone, and she couldn’t help but wanting to forgive him and hug him and kiss him.

“Yeah, well, because of you, I’m leaving, so, I guess I’m no better than you.”

He felt his heart drop at her words. At least, before, he could catch glances of her here and there, hear how she was doing from her friends. But if she left, he would have nothing.

“What do you mean?”

She took a deep breath, feeling the tears prick at the corners of her eyes again. “I can’t keep doing this. You’re everywhere! There’s reminders of you everywhere I go, I can’t even be around the Vandals because each time, I think of you. And it sucks. So, I’m leaving.” He didn’t know what to say, what to think, what to feel. “I don’t know what else to say to you, Benny. I’m probably never gonna be able to love anyone like I did you again. You broke my heart. And, now, I’m hangin’ up my boots.” And with that, she walked off, leaving her heart along with Benny.

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[digitaldiarystuff]

Our Secret Pt.2

sooo i’m starting to write before the poll is over hope the result stays the same lol

also thank you for not giving up on me💕

you can read part one here

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pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Y/N x Fermin Lopez

summary: you are Pedri’s girlfriend and know his friends, one of them being Fermin. It doesn’t look like he likes you very much but what if he likes you too much?

genre: angst

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That night after Fermin dropped you at your place you had a weird feeling in your stomach you couldn’t quite place, you didn’t do anything wrong, you kept reminding yourself. Fermin is literally Pedri’s friend, he was just doing you a favor and you’re mad at Pedri because he left you alone, that’s it.

After taking a much needed shower to clear your thoughts you laid on your bed hoping to sleep quickly but unfortunately, you weren’t that lucky and had trouble falling asleep. You felt upset about Pedri’s behavior at the party and suddenly realized all the other times he made you feel uneasy in public, there were times he didn’t feel comfortable being seen with you because you weren’t official yet and that’s understandable given the fact that he’s insanely famous but a part of you felt like you shouldn’t be hidden no matter what. The more you thought about it, the sadder you felt but finally, you felt your eyes closing.

The next morning you woke up a little late and with a headache, great, you thought. You found your phone in between your sheets and looked at missed notifications secretly hoping to see a good morning text from Pedri but there was something else. An unsaved number texted you at 8.32 am

Hey, good morning! Hope you’re okay and don’t have a headache or stomachache, I think eating McDonald’s that late was a mistake 😅

You immediately realized it was Fermin and your heart warmed with his thoughtful words, he didn’t have to text you or check up on you but still did it while your boyfriend couldn’t even bother asking if you went home okay. It’s not like he was asleep because you knew for a fact he had practice this morning so he had to be up. You decided not to let it get to you and started typing.

Hey thank you so much for everything, I don’t know how I’d survive last night without you! And yes the nuggets definitely were a mistake lol, hope you’re okay too

You reread the text trying to make sure it’s not weird but why would it be weird, it’s just two friends checking up on each other even though you didn’t even know he had your number before today. He could’ve easily got it from Pedri, right?

Fermin didn’t text you back after that and you thought maybe it’s for the best but you also didn’t hear from Pedri until well into the afternoon when he called.

“Hey” he smiled softly like he wasn’t black out drunk last night

“Hey” you said with slight coldness in your voice but you weren’t doing it on purpose.

“Are we still on for tonight?” he asked without even mentioning anything about the previous night’s events and you were kind of taken aback.

“What’s tonight?”

“We have that charity event, remember, I told you a week ago.” you suddenly remembered him asking you to accompany him to this fancy event.

At first you were thrilled with the idea thinking this may be the night you make your relationship official but he quickly shut the idea down by telling you he’d pose for the cameras out front and meet up with you once the auction starts. You were less excited now but still said yes and forgot about it all till now.

“Oh yeah, sure we’re still going. How are you planning on going there?”

“The boys and I were thinking about getting a limo, can you take an Uber and meet me there?”

“Do you not want me in the limo?” you asked shocked by how inconsiderate he was being. First he hides you from the world and now he wants you to step in an Uber with a fancy looking dress and ride there alone.

“No of course not, you can come get ready at mine then. I’ll be at the house by five.”

“You know what, I’ll find my own way Pedri. You don’t have to worry about me, not that you care.” you said and ended the call feeling agitated.

He tried calling you a few more times but you didn’t pick up, you even considered turning your phone off and not showing up but wanted to have a nice night with him, maybe this could solve your issues.

You started getting ready for the event, trying on 2 different dresses. One was an off the shoulder black silk maxi dress and the other was a dark red spaghetti strap maxi dress with a wide slit on the side and a corset as a top. You took mirror selfies with both dresses and sent it to your best friend who was on top of your messages app and started on your makeup as you waited for an answer. Your phone pinged not long after and you picked it up expecting it to be Elena but was shocked to see Fermin’s name on the screen. You remembered saving his number in the morning. He sent you a single text.

Definitely the red one

Your cheeks heat up immediately realizing your mistake, you sent the photos to Fermin instead of Elena because he was the last person you texted.

I’m so sorry, it was meant for someone else lol

You wrote back but made a mental note to wear the red dress, maybe it was that much better. You anxiously waited an answer from Fermin but it never came and you felt stupid, did he think you did it on purpose or was he being the cold and stoic Fermin you know again? You felt like you managed to make him open up more and made progress in your friendship and would hate if he went back to being distant. You thought about what can you text him that would make him answer but before you could find something your phone started ringing.

Fermin Lopez

You picked it up slightly nervous.

“Hey”

“Hey, are you not riding with everyone else to the venue?” he asked straight away without even asking how you were.

“No, um, I’ll go straight from my place so…” you drifted off not knowing how to explain why you weren’t going with your boyfriend.

“Are you ready?”

“Well, I’ll probably be ready in 15.” you looked at yourself in the mirror, you had the dress on and your makeup was almost done.

“Okay, I’ll pick you up then.” he suggested but his voice was so neutral you couldn’t understand any emotion behind it.

“What? Fermin you don’t ha…”

“I’m on my way Y/N. I’ll text you once I’m outside.” he said and hung up before you could even reply.

You stood there for a few moments trying to understand what just happened, why was Fermin this interested in how you’ll arrive at the venue or how you’re doing and more importantly, why wasn’t Pedri?

You decided to push these thoughts away and put on your accessories for the night but was a little too slow because Fermin already texted you before you could put everything on. You told him you need 5 more minutes and he was welcome to wait in your living room whilst you finish up and he soon rang the doorbell.

You opened the door revealing Fermin in a suit, this was the first time you’ve seen him this formal and admittedly, he looked nice. Actually he looked so good that you had to tear your eyes away from him but he didn’t look like he noticed, he was too busy looking at your figure with wide eyes. This may be the longest he’s ever looked your way but once you made proper eye contact, he immediately looked away.

“Hi” you smiled and hugged him softly, kissing one of his cheeks. He smiled at you and placed his hand on your waist careful not to put it too low. It felt more like a fancy first date than two friends carpooling to a charity event where your boyfriend was waiting for you and the thought made your stomach turn. There was something about Fermin that you couldn’t understand, he was never inappropriate or weird with you but you couldn’t help but feel something and that something scared the living shit out of you.

“You look amazing, told you this was the best dress.” he shyly said and your cheeks turned red with his compliment, you knew he preferred this dress but it was also your favorite. You didn’t wear it for him.

“So do you.” you replied and it was his turn to have reddened cheeks. He looked down at his shoes and didn’t look back up until you spoke again.

“Let me put on my shoes and we can go.”

You went into your shoe closet and picked out the nude heels you had in mind. They weren’t too high but still elevated your look. You dropped them in front of your door and tried getting in them but struggled because of your dress hugging your body tightly, Fermin soon noticed your uncomfortable state.

“Here, let me help you” he didn’t even let you reply and kneeled down in front of you to help you step into your shoes and buckle them, he did one foot and lightly tapped your calf for you to hold the other one. His one hand on behind your calf steadied you while the other helped you and you were standing so close that you could feel his breath on your exposed leg which made you shiver. You placed one hand on his shoulder and he looked up at you, his eyes were filled with yet another emotion but this time you knew it wasn’t something like sadness or anger, it was pure lust and you hated that you also had the same look on your face.

He slowly rose to his feet but you didn’t let go of his shoulder, you felt glued to him at that moment. Fermin must have felt the same because he stood so close to you that your noses nearly touched and he made no effort to pull back, you knew better you really did, you should’ve taken a step back thank him for helping you and go to the event but Fermin had other plans.

He suddenly closed the gap between you two and pressed his lips onto yours in a hasty manner like he had to do it, he did it so urgently as if he needed you and you couldn’t help but move your lips with his placing your hand on the back of his neck. Your judgement was too clouded to stop as he walked you back into your living room without breaking the kiss, he only stopped when your back hit the wall and a soft moan escaped your lips.

“Fermin” you mewled as he was moving his hands all around your body and on your exposed leg.

He pulled back slightly, your foreheads still touching and both of you panting. His eyes opened for the first time since he kissed you and looked straight into your soul.

“Fermin” you whispered this time not even sure if you were asking him to stop or carry on.

“Y/N, I want this. I want this so fucking much but if you don’t, I can get out of here now and we can pretend this never happened. I’ll never bother you again.” he softly said and you were surprised at how calm he was talking contrary to how passionate he was being mere seconds ago.

You closed your eyes to try to slow your heartbeat down, your whole body was shaking a little. You tried to think but all you could think about was his lips and hands on you.

You stood there for a moment before leaning in again and he happily accepted your advances telling you to jump and you obliged not caring about anything else in the world other than Fermin. He was making you feel that alive.

“God, you’re perfect” he said while carrying you to your room and kissing every inch of skin he could find.

“Just make me feel good” you begged him and he nodded eagerly. He was going to do just that.

[tomwaterbabies]

interesting to see that P and Carlo being different people is such a popular reading. I genuinely did not take the game's narrative as implying that at all. this isn't to discount that reading, i do understand it and i think it does offer some interesting aspects. but im more just typing out my own thoughts on the game's story; a story which i do think is very good

(spoilers ahead for the game lol)

one of the biggest things for me that lead to P and Carlo being the same is Geppetto and Romeo, the only two people who really know what your whole deal is

I spent a lot of the game very much expecting it to be a sort of... astro boy situation? as in: dad loses human son, dad builds another son, but said son is not what he wanted. In that story, it IS because the new son does not end up being like the former son

Most of the game from what I remember does lead to this narrative. However, I feel a key element here that makes it stand out is the fact that Geppetto did NOT like who Carlo was becoming. They were distant, they did not get along, etc. Geppetto sneers when you refuse to give him your heart- commenting that you're inheriting Carlo's personality instead of just holding his memories. HE is thinking of you two as different people and becomes upset when he sees stuff he didn't like about Carlo, which ultimately became part of why he is, to put it bluntly, fucked up and evil. he's wrought with guilt but has a very twisted idea of what his perfect son should be like- and it is someone NOT like Carlo, no matter how many times he insists Carlo is coming back to him- his true desire is clearly to have someone who Carlo was never like

This is paired well with Romeo's whole deal. I think it's very interesting that you really start to awaken and become more human once you start remembering stuff from the past- triggered by Romeo's presence in Carlo's life. You CAN read this as just carrying Carlo's memories, yes. But I think, for me, that because it literally affects P in such a way, that it reads more as someone remembering something of their own past. Along with the fact that, once again, Geppetto is the one who insists you are merely just carrying Carlo's memories. Why does it deeply change P then?

I've mentioned somewhere before, but a big concept that I took from the story was "you are not the same person you were years ago". not in a literal sense, but in the way we often describe how we grow as people. The game, to me, portrays this concept in a very Dramatic way. Carlo has changed quite a lot, but it is still his life he experienced. He has a different name, he developed a personality that his father ended up detesting, etc. But that is still the same... we'll say soul I guess. Same life. And it adds to why Romeo is such an interesting (and tragic) character. He DID accept how his friend changed and still wants to remain by his side. I think that genuinely makes his fight sadder for me- the idea that this really IS Carlo, that IS his friend and not someone else he's mistaken Carlo for, but Carlo/P does not remember him anymore before it is far too late.

[bones4thecats]

Hi~ I hope you don't mind but can I request Malleus, Leona, Vil and Crewel with blue diamond in Steven universe I saw your last ask and I love it so much I was wondering if you could do the same thing with the twst version

Btw I love your writing and work keep up the good work and remember to take breaks and care for yourself have a good evening or day in life author 🥰🥰🥰😊😊😊

A/N: I haven’t written a Twisted Wonderland piece for so long, thank goodness people still remember I write for them😂. Thank you so much for the compliment, I try keeping my writing simple, but sometimes I get carried away, lol. You also have a good day/night, Anon!! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this~~

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🐉 Sharing a high position in both of your personal lives, you had met at a young age

🐉 He’s tall, around 6’6, and you being around 25ft-100ft definitely scares most, your kids are definitely gonna be tall

🐉 When he saw how caring and gentle you were, it made his heart skip multiple beats

🐉 Your a matriarch and he a technical patriarch, how ironic

🐉 He doesn’t like watching you cry, it’s just something he hates

🐉 Whenever someone’s around you, most likely Yuu and Grim, and they start crying when you feel guilty or sadder, he tells them the reason on why they’re sobbing

🐉 Speaking of Yuu, besties forever. If they can tame Malleus, then you and them relate with one thing

🐉 Shrinking down is something you must do often, and if it drains your magic, oh well, it’s worth it if you get to hug your friends and boyfriend

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🦁 Leona and you were fairly overlooked in favor for your older siblings

🦁 You for your oldest sister, White Diamond, and him for his older brother, Falena

🦁 When he first met you, it was during a meeting of world leaders, he sat in the other room while the main heads spoke

🦁 You sat down alongside Yellow Diamond and a young human, whom Yellow called ‘Pink Diamond’ and you liked calling ‘Steven’

🦁 Once you two got together, he hated how much taller you were than him, he hated feeling small

🦁 So whenever you shrink yourself to be 5’6-5’10, because you know he liked you shorter than him, even by an inch

🦁 Leona offers you smiles whenever you start feeling down, he may shed a few tears, but he can hold it back quite well

🦁 You and him have rough spots when it comes to your role in your family, but he can look over them most of the time

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

👑 Vil first met you because you were needed to find the authenticity in a few blue diamonds they were using in a film

👑 He looked at how tall you were outside and how you shrunk to the average height of 5’7, just a hint shorter than him standing at 6’0

👑 When you looked at his headpiece and examined the jewels and just barely glide your hands against his, his heart skipped

👑 Your beauty was immaculate, how did he not notice that?

👑 If you visited NRC for a duty, he would be one of the first people to shake your hand and give you a welcome

👑 You two got along fairly well, though his perfectionism gave you flashbacks of White Diamond’s standards

👑 He does like giving your diamond located on your chest a simple shine in the mornings, there is no use in having a diamond if you’re not keeping it clean

👑 He doesn’t mind the crying when he isn’t wearing makeup for a shoot, but when he is, he tries keeping you happy, not like he doesn’t to begin with!

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🐾 He and you met when you were children

🐾 You and him had certain standards that many struggled to make, but you were more flexible with the different people than him

🐾 As you both grew older and got your lives straightened out, you got married and started working in different fields

🐾 You led the Blue Diamond’s in your homeland while he taught at NRC, the college where he attended as a young teenager

🐾 You did enjoy visiting him, so seeing a 25ft-100ft woman outside shrink to around 5’8 was quite odd for the students, even if they had seen 5 overblots in the past month!

🐾 While Crewel was quite strict with the boys screwing around, you just chuckled at their antics and gave them pats on the head for their actions

🐾 Many cannot believe you’re together

🐾 He smiled as you sat on the floor, petting his two dalmatians with such love

🐾 Crewel, like Vil, doesn’t mind the crying, so long as it doesn’t stop him from finishing his work, but he keeps you happy most of the time with the help of your sisters, ‘Pink Diamond’, and his dogs, so!

[dreamii-krybaby]

Ok i haven’t rlly spoken about EP7 bc I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY that my brain can’t put it into words, like bro I gotta process words…wordssss man, and organize them in an understandable human language

But I will say this with not to much elaboration

SPOILERS FOR EP7

Warning: This is so fucking long holy shit this was originally going to be super short but my ADHD went beserk holy shit-

So it seems that Yeva is the only drone who successfully has had the “Patch” aka cure work on her in some way (Patch version 2.1.8 according to the files shown in EP7)

perhaps isn’t a one off cure and constantly needs updates bc the solver somehow is able to by pass the previous patches

or it’s simply the only version that has successfully worked and the rest hasn’t, because all of the other test subjects has gotten no effect or got their cores corrupted

and in Nori’s case, it was on progress

But the patch doesn’t seem to get rid of the solver immediately, either it needs constant updates for it to slowly kill it or it keeps it at bay but doesn’t necessarily gets rid of it, maybe it prevents possession or lower it’s chances drastically

Now this is very interesting, it makes much more sense why the first thing they did when Nori got possessed by the solver and shit started to go south they wanted to get Yeva, she is the only one who has somewhat of a success on the patch project.

Or maybe they wanted to bring her so she could calm her bestie down or put her in place lol.

As to why Mitchell left her outside of the cathedral, I think is because he didn’t trust her and feared her, due to her off-standing cold behavior. Like the way she looks at him, how she didn’t want mitchell to hold her hand and sort of slapped his hand away, and well him just witnessing the horrors of possessed nori. And when he saw the sentinels had broken free, he may have used the opportunity for them to kill her off by locking her outside

The other reason as to why Mitchell left yeva is bc he simply well- lost her. Maybe when he looked back at the sentinels had broken free he lost sight of her and assumed they might have gone after her

And it may reinforce my idea that she purposely went outside with her husband to find the cross usb with the patch, she already had plethora of motives imo but her main one would be to find this patch and give it to her daughter.

And with yeva having the patch which may given her more control over her body may explain how Doll also has more control over her body, since she inherited Yeva’s patched version of the AS

or maybe that didn’t happen bc that contradicts with my idea that she was after the patch for her kid due to weird genetic shit, unless the AS somehow bypassed the patch or some shit idk

Also her death makes much more sense, in a previous post I analyzed the flashback scene in EP3 and came to the conclusion Yeva died first, then her husband. Knowing that she was willing to put herself in danger for Nori moments before the core collapse.

LIKE I DONT HAVE A VIDEO BUT IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY AT THE EPISODE YEVA IMMEDIATELY PUSHES NORI BEHIND HER AND PUTS HERSELF IN THE FRONT TO PROTECT HER AS SOON AS THE CORE IS MOMENTS FROM COLLAPSING

She is definitely seems protective of the people she cares, and she is willing to endanger herself for them. Which may explain why she died so easily to V.

Perhaps she thought that by sacrificing herself her husband and kid had a higher chance at survival.

AND IT WORKED, sure, her husband died right after her leaving her kid with no guardian and Doll did die in the long run but in that moment Doll DID survive.

Which actually, if she indeed sacrificed herself for her family makes it…so much sadder, like it worked….but not quite….and failed in the end, her sacrifice was worthless in the long run. :(

GODDDD I LOVE HER CHARACTER SO MUCH :(

SHE GENUINELY SEEMED SO NICE AND CARING AND PROTECTIVE OF THOSE SHE CARED ABOUT AND IS CLEARLY WILLING TO ENDANGER HERSELF AND SACRIFICE HERSELF FOR THOSE SHE HOLDS DEAR I CANT-

IT MAKES HER DEATH SO MUCH MORE SADDER TO ME GOD-

LIKE I LOVE CHARACTER WHO ARE COLD AND STAND-OFFISH BUT DO A 180° WITH THEIR LOVED ONES AND ARE ACTUALLY VERY SWEET AND KIND AHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok enough of me going bonkers over dead mom who haunts narrative, my other explanation as to why she died to V so easily, contrasting her absolute girlboss of an introduction in EP7

First of all, V is a disassembly drone, a new unknown mysterious species to Yeva. And DD’s have the AS and Yeva may have tried to use her AS against V which didn’t work wich may have caught her off guard. There can also be the factors she might have been not in the right mental and emotional headspace, we don’t know how much time happened between the core collapse and her last moments, a lot of shit could have happened that may have taken a toll on her, affecting her combat abilities.

Also am pretty sure your brain will go bonkers when a literal angel of death tries to kill you, your husband and your child.

Also let’s not forget that she MAYBE thought that she did deserved to give up her life for Doll not only to give a better chance of survival but because like Nori, she blames herself for making Doll start living a horryfing situation. It was HER genetics who passed down the AS to her OWN CHILD, she may have not known better but I cannot imagine the amount of guilt that must have caused her. She KNOWS what the AS is capable of and she just accidentally passed it down to someone young and innocent who is also her own kid.

LIKE HOW AM I STILL SEEING MORE LAYERS OF YEVA JUST BEING ABSOLUTELY TRAGIC

God she deserves so much better. :(

Well tbh a lot of these things am mentioning is me trying to figure out how the hell Yeva saved Nori from the solver while serving cunt only to wind up dying to V with a simple bullet to the head. Am I on copium?

Tbh I understand more on why Doll was so hellbent on revenge, I too would kill to avenge Yeva (YEVA MY GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH MY BABYGIRL YOU DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER-)

Also yeah I could make a whole essay on Doll’s death, I fully expected her death but I feel the way they executed it didn’t do her justice at all.

Even if I find her super frustrating I like to think she is in robo-heaven with Yeva now, hopefully with her dad too.

Anyways I have more to say but I think I’ll leave it for other posts

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

papyrus and delta are (adopted) twins and are attempting a twin switch! who notices?

I took the Undertale characters for this one! As a reminder for the newcomers, Delta is Disbelief Papyrus.

Undertale Sans - He knows immediately but plays along. He knows his brother(s) too well, and Delta always looks a little sadder than his Papyrus. But both of them are having fun right now so he won't ruin the fun. He pretends to be shocked when Papyrus "appears" at two places at once. How could that even happen O:

Undertale Toriel - She can tell something is not normal because Papyrus acts weird and is very insistent, but she doesn't notice the switch. Instead, she insists on checking on him to make sure he's not sick because you don't joke with these things. They wanted to have fun, they won a doctor's appointment instead... That happened.

Undertale Asgore - He doesn't know Papyrus enough to make the difference. Sure, he found that odd that Papyrus was in the kitchen when he saw him two seconds earlier in the living room, but he knows Sans better and Sans always does the weirdest thing so maybe all skeletons can? He's not judging.

Undertale Undyne - She almost falls for it, but eventually, she notices something is weird with Papyrus and suddenly gasps when she realizes it's not the good Papyrus. Now, that means she gets revenge twice as hard! Both Papyrus are now running for their life as Undyne is determined to kick both their asses.

Undertale Alphys - She notices immediately and ruins their little prank. Alphys had to make sure Delta was fine after he arrived, and she knows his bone structure by heart, and it's slightly different from Papyrus' one. That's quite awkward when she says that out loud in front of them, Undyne and Sans. She says nevermind and leaves the room to hide in the toilets.

Undertale Frisk - That's easy. Frisk flirts with them. Delta rolls his eyes, Papyrus plays along. Busted in ten seconds. Both Papyrus are impressed, but the kid won one battle, not the war. They will try again, and again until they succeed to prank them.

Undertale Chara - They're uncomfortable and wondering why Papyrus won't leave them alone when it's clear they don't want to hang out right now. They try to chase them away gently, but when a second Papyrus comes in the room saying he's bored, Chara is speechless. Uh???? What? They ask for explanations, but before they can, both Papyrus are gone. Did they imagine all of this? What was in their tea? Oh god, they didn't drink golden flower tea and poisoned themselves again, right?

Undertale Mettatton - He knows. Immediately. Delta thinks it's weird that Mettaton knows them so much when they're clearly not hanging out together that much. That's when he turned around and found a bright red Papyrus avoiding his stare at all costs. Oh. Welp. It seems Alphys is not the only bone structure connoisseur after all.

Undertale Gaster - He completely falls for it to the point Papyrus wonders if he should be offended by that or not lol. I mean, it's his father??? Uh. Maybe he should try this with two Sans to see if it's just him. That's awkward.

Undertale Grillby - He's going crazy. He just served Papyrus a milkshake. He went into the kitchen but when he went back, he found Papyrus... waiting for his milkshake? Maybe he just forgot, so he serves him another milkshake. But then he came back from the kitchen and he found Papyrus waiting for his milkshake again. When he finally understands what's wrong after like ten milkshakes, he's so disappointed with Papyrus lol. He's used to this with Sans, but him? He feels so betrayed.

Undertale Muffet - They tried to play the same trick they did at Grillby's in her bakery. Muffet notices and charges the donuts twice their prices as revenge. Ah... They tried...

Undertale Burgerpants - The two Papyrus are appearing and disappearing in random places while he's working. After an hour, Burgerpants has a mental breakdown and starts to break everything in the studio, just screaming in anger. Why can't he have one normal day of work in his life? Why everyone hates him?! Mettaton finds him later curling up in a cupboard, crying, hugging a broom.

Undertale Flowey - It's not that hard? They're clearly two different people and he knows that because he's their bestie. You can't fool him, even with a swap of clothes! He's too clever! ... Too bad they actually didn't swap their clothes. Flowey refuses to believe them and locks them both in his roots until they tell him they are the right Papyruses. But really, he got it wrong. Flowey is still so mad about it.

Undertale Gerson - Man, he's too old for this. He can't see that good already, why would you do this to him? He locks the door of his shop and forces them to mop the floor while he's lecturing them about pranking old people.

[vaguely-concerned]

I listened to the first episode of vows and vengeance and... god. god forget waiting for veilguard, how the fuck am I going to survive the wait between each episode of this???? tl;dr: I loved it, I love dragon age, I love audio dramas, I love voice acting and music, I love thedas, I am IMMEDIATELY painfully invested. if nadia doesn't get her sweet fancy lad back whole and unharmed by the end of this I am killing everyone in tevinter and then myself.

more thoughts under the cut! not a lot of deep analysis just flailing and feelings today haha

I hadn't realized that elio would be a magister! idk if it was in any marketing beforehand, but if so I didn't pay enough attention to remember it lol. he sounds like he might be prime lucerni-material politically, so I'm a little sad we didn't get even a subtle dorian or maevaris easter egg in there, as far as I could tell, but hey, you can't have everything. (honestly unless BIG changes are upon us (which tbf they probably are) it might be just as well that this went down as it did, b/c I'm not sure how long elio would survive in the magisterium that we've heard tell of, he's quite -- either soft and shortsighted, or politically reckless, I think nadia was right there.)

I found nadia, elio and their dynamic very effectively introduced -- the fact that they haven't quite figured out how to be good to each other yet but so clearly both desperately want to be and are willing to work for that is a smart place to start the story. it makes it feel all the sadder if they never get the chance to work it all out, because I think they could have every chance to, given the time.

The voice actors for the central characters are all wonderful (orin's was. fine! doing a good enough job with a slightly more thankless role, let's call it that.) also so nice to hear people humming the tavern songs we heard in inquisition. god I love thedas I'm so glad we're getting to go right back in there soon

The episode was longer than I thought they would get, and it was all the better for it! I'm so happy it seems they'll get the space they need to tell this story, especially since nadia appears to be setting out on quite a continent-spanning odyssey here (I'm so sorry about your life nadia)

SOLAS solas solas! solas. solas!!!! he is such a BITCH and I love him so much. he is being aggressively himself and I didn't realize just how much I'd missed him. no one gets me frustrated quite like you baby you know better than this I KNOW you could know better than this why do you never learn a single thing I know you have the capacity somewhere in there. patron saint of endlessly fucking up. WHERE do you get off being condescending to nadia when all your ~*brilliant*~ plans backfire catastrophically on you every single time solas. yeah of course you're sorry, and you fucking better be, if she stabbed you I'd be sad but also like 'yeah I mean you had that one coming sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯' about it!!! what the fuck. come home please

such a weird feeling to have him be an ominous stranger on the road to elio and nadia while I was standing there with my arms crossed and my foot tapping irritably like 'oh so now he shows his face, there he is. my husband. my ex-husb -- my nemesis and poor little meo -- it's complicated alright. he's in the dog house, but the dog house he's in is still mine'. I do adore how unstoppably solas clearly wants to be a teacher, he works so hard to be mysterious and aloof but the lonely insufferable chatterbox knowitall jumps out at every turn.

neve trying and almost succeeding in freezing the whole bay I'm

like. okay then! much to think about

the only thing I'm not a big fan of is the characters calling out in-game spells in sort of a self-indulgent way, but hell if I know how else you'd communicate exactly what's going down magically in an audio format like this so y'know. very easily forgiven from my side honestly

[ad0rechuu]

hiii 👋 may i please request prompt 58 "forever mine" kisses (+ prompt 3 hiding face in neck, only if it's okay!!) for lucifer? thank you so much and warmest congratulations on 100 followers!! 🥺💙

❪ # x ❫ : LUCIFER. ━━ PROMPT 58 & 3

volcanic love by the aces

🏷️ gn! reader , angst (?) / comfort , tw: spoilers for the end obey me part 3, it’s kinda bittersweet , wc: 584 , notes: thank you so much anon thats so sweet and i really enjoyed writing this request so thank you for that too, i wanted to make it sadder but i didn’t how that would turn out lol !

Begging lord Diavolo proved to be useless.

You knew he had his reasons but the fact that all the seven demon brothers were willing to throw their pride out of the window (even the literal Avatar of Pride) to have you join the family made you a bit willing to throw hands.

They wanted you stay with them and you wanted them to stay with you.

And yet, you couldn’t. Because life is never that simple.

It hurt. It wasn’t surprising, but it hurt nevertheless. You knew you were not the only one hurting. Five of the seven brothers made that very clear on the ride home (Belphie too, but he fell asleep almost immediately).

Their drunken whining and complaining would normally make you laugh. But today it made your heart ache.

You noticed that Lucifer had been quiet the entire way home. Even when his brother cursed Diavolo’s judgment, he stayed uncharacteristically silent. He also didn’t say a word when you reached Serenity Manor and everyone excused themselves to get some sleep.

You stayed behind, expecting him to go straight to his room as well. Instead he surprised you as you watched him disappear to the backyard. Curiosity and worry got the best of you as you followed the demon.

By the time you reached outside he was already sitting on a lawn chair, his glasses in hands as he looked up at the sky. You would’ve spent more time admiring him but you had to remind yourself that that wasn’t the goal right now.

You walked up behind him, careful not to startle him on accident, even though he’d probably sensed your presence already.

“Are you disappointed?” You asked, making him turn around and face you. Demon Lord, you were going to miss those ruby eyes.

He nodded to you, acknowledging your presence as he stood up, eyes still on the night sky.

“Disappointed? Disappointed isn’t the word. I can’t say that I did not expect his answer.” He spoke, sorrow in his tone. “I’m closer to dissatisfied.”

One arm snuck around your waist as he used the other hand to hold your chin, making sure you kept looking at him only.

“I’m dissatisfied that I have to leave, I’m selfishly dissatisfied that I cannot keep you by my side forever and I’m dissatisfied with the current conditions that keep us apart.” A rare desperation sounded from his voice as he held you close.

His face neared yours when he turned your face to closer his liking. “Why did you have to make me feel this way about you Mc? I cannot imagine a life without you anymore.” He breathed on your lips and closed the gap between your two.

Lucifer was known as stoic demon with a tight grip on everything, including his own emotions.

The Lucifer in front of you was nothing like that, he reminded you of the Celestial Realm Lucifer that you heard stories about; pouring all his feelings and emotions into the passionate kiss. As you moved in sync, you felt a tear fall from his once impenetrable eyes. You felt your soul yearn for him like never before.

As you parted, slightly out of breath, your hand found the back of his head. He hid his face in your neck as you combed through his raven hair.

His arms tightened around you at the calming gesture, like you could disappear at any moment.

“I wish I could make you mine, Mc. For the rest of eternity.”

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Found a new song for My Girl, my Girl, My Girl

Maybe even the Entry 80 fic, actually because Tim didn't get to hold Jay before he died, and that fucking devastated him, he didn't get even a minute to hold his girl

I'm doing a whole shitty "which line means what in context of S,IL" thing again with this one so that's under the thingybobber

[Verse 1] I've been waiting for you To come around and tell me the truth 'Bout everything that you're going through My girl, you've got nothing to lose

This one's pretty obvious, it's the bit that actually made me think of My Girl, because it's just literally what Tim's doing. He's waiting for Jay to tell him/realise he's actually trans. He knows Jay's trans but Jay hasn't realised it yet, and Tim's trying to help him figure it out, just waiting for Jay to realise and tell him. And Jay already thinks there's something wrong with him for wanting to be called a girl in bed, and Tim's like, "you have nothing to lose, I'm not gonna be upset," when Jay's so convinced he's gonna lose Tim over this whole thing.

[Pre-Chorus] Cold nights and the Sunday mornings On your way and out of the grey

White noise. This is White Noise and the Stars in Your Eyes. I know that fic's not out yet, but this just feels like it. They star gaze together and it's cold but it's perfect because they feel almost safe for the first time in weeks. Nothing's happening at the moment so they go and spend time stargazing together, because they can. All the bad things and anxiety melt away for an hour or two and they just get to exist together, go on a stargazing date like they're normal people. Y'know?

God I can't wait to post that fic. I fucking adore it. I need to get chapter 3 written because White Noise comes after that one.

[Chorus] I've got time, I've got love Got confidence you'll rise above Give me a minute to hold my girl Give me a minute to hold my girl Crowded town or silent bed Pick a place to rest your head Give me a minute to hold my girl Give me a minute to hold my girl

This is the bit that makes me feel like this song could also work for entry 80. Honestly I might put it in both playlists, have it be like when a movie has the same song at the start and end but at the end the song takes on an entirely different meaning.

In My Girl this is Tim genuinely thinking he has time, he has the time and love to help Jay figure himself out and he loves that he can just take little bits of time to just hold Jay whenever he wants to. Sure they can't really do it when they're out and about in a 'crowded town' that'd probably not go super well, but they can just lie in bed together and cuddle. They can just do that. Jay can pick how he wants to lie, whether he wants his head on Tim's chest or stomach or shoulder and Tim can just hold him there. They can just hold each other.

Then you get the entry 80 fic and this whole song becomes so much sadder, but especially this and the next bit. For the chorus it's like Tim's thinking about what he and Jay had before Jay died. It's Thinking about how he thought they had time and about how patient he was happy to be as Jay figured himself out, he'd thinking about how he was so sure Jay would figure his gender out and Tim would be able to be there for him, to hold her and give her all his time and love as she figured out what she wanted to be called and how she wanted him to refer to her.

And then Jay died and Tim's looking at the footage just absolutely devastated because he didn't get to hold him before or even as he died. He didn't get to hold Jay one last time, because the last time they were together properly they'd had an argument and that was why they split up at benedict hall, because Tim needed time to calm down and just, wrangle his feelings under control because he just felt so fucked up because of what Jay did. (Hooray for Jay pushing boundaries he shouldn't with Tim as well as Alex lol)

[Verse 2] I've been dreaming 'bout us Working hard and saving it up We'll go and see the man on the moon My girl, we've got nothing to lose

This bit's also the entry 80 fic as well as My Girl and has it's meaning change depending on which one you're listening to it with.

In My Girl it's Tim thinking about the future, all hopeful and excited about the life he and Jay could have after MH is all over. He's thinking about how after MH is over they can do anything, they'll have nothing to lose that they haven't already had to deal with. They can save up and move out and create themselves a brand new life wherever, whenever and however they want.

And then with entry 80 he's thinking about all the same things but knowing now that he'll never get to have them. He'll never get to move away and start a new life with Jay because Jay's dead. He'll have to do it all on his own (well, also with Birdie, but he doesn't know about her yet) and now he really does have nothing to lose. He's already lost Jay and Brian and Alex. He's lost everything. (even his house? Maybe? I'm not actually sure if that'll fit into my version of events for Alex dying lol) But yeah, he's actually got nothing left to lose.

[Pre-Chorus] Cold nights and the Sunday mornings On your way and out of the grey

[Chorus] I've got time, I've got love Got confidence you'll rise above Give me a minute to hold my girl Give me a minute to hold my girl Crowded town or silent bed Pick a place to rest your head and Give me a minute to hold my girl Give me a minute to hold my girl

[Bridge] My girl, my girl It takes one hard second to turn it around It takes one hard second to turn it around

This bit's a bit less connected to either fic honestly, unless I guess it could be kinda like Tim desperately hoping Jay is somehow alive, begging for just one little thing to turn everything around and let Jay still be alive. For My Girl I guess it's like Tim hoping Jay will figure out his gender and tell him, about how it'd only take one little thing for it to all fall into place for Jay and then everything in how he feels about himself will turn around and get better. Or at least he hopes that's what'll happen, chances are Jay would still struggle lol, even after realising that he's actually a girl and all that.

[Chorus] I've got time, I've got love Got confidence you'll rise above Give me a minute to hold my girl Give me a minute to hold my girl Crowded town or silent bed Pick a place to rest your head and Give me a minute to hold my girl Give me a minute to hold my girl I've got time, I've got love Got confidence you'll rise above Give me a minute to hold my girl Give me a minute to hold my girl Crowded town or silent bed Pick a place to rest your head and Give me a minute to hold my girl Give me a minute to hold my girl

[mimikittysblog]

✨MimiKitty's 2023 Fic Wrapped✨

So as a fun activity my friends all decided to make a 2023 wrapped ppt! So I decided to make one for all the fics I read in 2023! (I didnt get to present it btw lol)

I put what I decided to be my top fics for each month! Whether it be because of amazing writing, gut wrenching angst, sickeningly cute fluff or nastiest smut I decided to put it as my favorite fic for that month!

NOTE: Some of these were not exactly written/published in the month that I put them in but it was when I read and/or reblogged it!

Now without any further ado! Here is my 2023 Fic wrapped!

January

Happiness by @end-hyphen

Why is painter hoon so attractive???? 😭 The angst in this fic is SO GOOD! Its just really memorable and I love the ending too! ALSO THE PLOT TWISTS?!?! I was gagged yo. I was gripping my phone when I was reading this!!! It's just a really beautiful well written fic! Loooove it so much!!

February

In Another Life by @httphannie

First of all the smut was great!! Loved it! But maaann THE ANGST THROUGH OUT THE WHOLE FIC IS SO GOOD!! The ending is one of the most tear jerking, gut wrenching, heart breaking, soul crushing endings I've ever read. SEUNGCHEOL!! YOU SHOULD'VE JUST FUCKIN ESCAPED PLEASEEEE! I remember BAWLING when I first read it, and ✨surprise surprise✨ I cried again just recently when I reread it again. Its so beautifully written, I get every emotion thats poured into this fic and the story itself is so good and unique in a way I just love it! (also kinda funny but love how this is the only SVT fic that made it on this list 😂😂😂)

March

More than This by @heesbaby

KITTY JAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats all.

But in all seriousness, this is a wonderful smau!! I loved every bit of it!! Its so cute and soft! Jay is so BABY KITTY 🥹🥹🥹 I love him to bits! And the funny parts are also so funny! The smut is also good but to me its also so cute too! ALSO THE ANTAGONIST MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT ARSON HOW DARE SHE HURT MY PRETTY BBY JAY!!! But when a fic gets me reacting like that you know its good! Overall an amazing smau! Love love!

April

The Archer and His Queen by @forjongseong

ARCHER JAY GOT ME ACTING UP DUDEEEE!!! The thought its so hot but you wanna know whats hotter??? HOW RESPECTFUL HE IS THROUGH OUT THIS FIC!! He truly respects his Queen and then truly falls in love with her?!? I CANNOT! Also I like how unique it is! In a way that Jay isn't a knight, not a prince, not a king, not just like a commoner, but an archer. Idk I just like how different it is, how often is it to have the love interest be an archer? (I'm sure pretty common but I rarely see it hehe) plus.. again, thats hot 🥰 The smut is so gooooood!! and the ending is adorable!

May

Ship Happens by @/tfwheeseung

MERMAID JAKE!!!!! Like. MERMAID! JAKE!! Now this story, I don't think any of you can read it anymore? as tfwheeseung (lily) has deactivated. So thats a shame, but if theres a way you can read it please do!! Its so cute and so funny! Jake is like a mermaid pup combined he's adorable here!! HE JUST WANTED TO CATCH YOU A FISH!!! How adorable is that?! Its just a simple and adorable fic that I cant stop giggling about every time I think about it!

June

Angels Like You by @ham-st4r

OH THIS ONE IS SOOOOOOO GOOOOOD!! DUDE THE HEART BREAK I FELT FOR HEESEUNG IN THIS FIC AAAAAAA!!

“I believed that you had changed, I really did,” // “I gave you my heart” // "I trusted you with my body,” //“I-I loved you”

Heart breaking dude 😭😭😭 Like how dare the reader break this soft boys heart!! BUT THE ENDING IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! LIKE AAAA!! I shed some tears!! Overall I truly absolutely adooooree this fic!!! Plus reading it while listening to the song makes you cry harder 👍

July

Hype Boy by @onlyjaeyun

DOMESTIC JAKE!!! Bro Jakes backstory man 😔😔😔 I've never heard of anything sadder like I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM AND HIS ADORABLE AND ANGEL OF A BABY BROTHER! I adore the Sim brothers so much and I will do anything I can to protect them AAAAAAAAAA!!!! Hype Boy is such an adorable and sad smau but it ends so beautifully! Jake has an amazing support system in this smau and just the love he has for his baby brother and the reader is unmatched I love love love!!

August

Rule Number 1: Don't Fall in Love by @jaylaxies

Dude idk why I love fake dating tropes, especially when its to get revenge! So I was hooked from the beginning!!! So HAHAHAH GET FUCKED HOON! Jake is SUCH A GREEN FLAG THROUGH OUT THIS ENTIRE THING ITS GORGEOUS TO READ!!!! Also Undercut Jake?!?!? 🤭 yes pleaseeeeee!! also this one?? the smut?? oh yeah it is NASSTYYYYY IN A GOOD WAY AND I LOVE THATT!! But the aftercare is just perfect!! This is a reaaaalllyy good fic that I always find myself constantly rereading!

September

Poison by @onlyjaeyun

Oh wow another onlyjaeyun smau??? well duh when this on is just AN ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE!!!! LIKE OOOHH MY GOD IS THIS ONE AMAZING! Like heeseung is so... AKJSJS I HAVE NO WORDS 😭 The fact he actually gets off on the readers pleasure??? HOT BRO. And how can I not put this as the best thing I read during september when it has lines like THIS:

"I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you, princess" // "I just can't break this promise, Sunghoon is my everything",

"and what about me? What am I to you?"

"My most precious treasure."

Do I need to explain further??? Yeah. I thought so 😊

October

Come Back to Me by @enhaheeseung

This entire series was a rollercoaster of a read. Like the way I went from "FUCK YOU HEESEUNG!" to "NO WAIT TAKE HIM BACK" to "YES GO HEESEUNG GO!!" to "HEESEUNG YOU DICKHEADDD" to "Oh god you poor thing" to "Omg yay! theyre together 🥰" is absolutely amazing!! As this was a series, every time I saw a notification for the next part of this fic showed up I immeeeediately read it! Caused me to be late for work a couple of times but it was worth it 👍👍👍👍. It's written really well! I just love this story and how it makes my heart clench and have me at the edge of my seat! Just amazing!

November

Verboten by @heesbaby

YES. JUST AN ABSOLUTE YES!! This smau is SO FRICKIN GOOD! Daddy Heeseung?? like duh yes please! But even before then reader got to play around with 02z 🤭🤭🤭🤭 so that was fun! and what made me love this one so much was also HOW FUNNY IT IS??? Like Cinna I don't think we give you enough credit youre like- SO FUNNY?? How you even thought of having Niki doxx Jake I'll never know but it's just so funny and I'll forever laugh at that thought. But this smau is also just so frickin fluffy at times! the relationship heeseung has with the reader is so fucking healthy, I'm actually jealous. I loved this smau very very much!

December

Strictly Business by @onlyjaeyun

And a surprise to absolutely no one!!! Of course Zadie's third smau had to be on here! NOT MY FAULT SHE MAKES AMAZING STORIES!!! Plus Jay??? as a CEO??? WHAT CAN BE HOTTERRRRR?!?! Of course it's automatically my favorite!!! But besides that Jay is just... so amazing!! He'll literally do ANYTHING for the reader and thats so fucking endearing! My mans in love your honor! We love a rich man who's in love! Find me a man like that please! Besides that the smut is amazing yo, and the ddlg parts 🤭🥰🤭🥰 got me kicking my feet and twirling my hair bro!! It's really no surprise how amazing this one is! especially with how sweet and amazing everyone is (besides some of the antagonists of course!) 100000/10 smau! truly!

And that was my 2023 fic wrapped!!! Also Honorable mentions to these specific creators and fics cause I also REALLY LOVED THEM! I just had to mention them:

@ham-st4r for Wrong Doings

@enhaheeseung for Nobodies

@strzlun for Midnight

@yunjardi for Double Trouble

@luvyeni for Forever and Always

@shanbinswf for Brand New Moves

@yeonjunszn for So Sick

@kitten4sannie for Space in Between

@yoursjaeyun for Endless Love

Thank you to everyone who wrote all these amazing stories! You all really make my days better! I hope you all continue to write for 2024!! I also wish 2024 will be kinder to you! Love you all! 💕