#why am i so conflicted

[maehemthemisfit]

Vent utc

Why do tragedies hit at the most horrible times? Like, you're almost at the finish line and all you need to do is lock in and a fucking avalanche just falls on fucking top of you and ruins everything. Sucks the life out of you and even the best things don't seem to help anymore. People just shrug their shoulders or tell you to persevere when you literally can't do anything. It sucks. Being stranded, being lost, being numb, being tired. How can you confide in something that no longer brings you comfort... and the closest options never did.

[both-before-and-after-the-drugs]

When you see someone’s true colors see them.

[dreamerdrop]

Julian Bashir walks a very fine, maddening line between “self-loathing imposter syndrome who knows almost everyone who speaks to him for more than a minute finds him insufferable” and “incredibly self assured and annoyingly arrogant to the point of a minor god complex”.

He knows he’s attractive, he thinks he’s charming as all hell, he knows he’s the smartest person in the room (while also being acutely aware he’s going to put his foot in his mouth any second now), and he just swings wildly between “I don’t deserve anything I have, none of this is mine, my life is not my own, I am a monster” and “HELL YEAH LOOK HOW COOL AND SMART I AM GUYS ARE YOU LOOKING ARE YOU LOOKING”.

And then there’s episodes that reveal that underneath that annoying arrogance, at the very core of who he is, he really, really just wants to help people, and if he fucks that up he WILL take it personally and hold himself responsible even if there’s no way he could have known and like. Can you imagine what his first patient death was like for him. Can you imagine what a fucking nightmare his brain must be 24/7.

He is somehow as inherently self assured as he is in need of constant validation for his ego because you can SEE him break a little when that ego fails him, even a little, and it’s just.

He’s very fun to write. I hate him. (I love him so much, but oh my god.)

[suntails]

⚔️🐬

[cable-salamdr]

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the

AND ON HALLOWEEN TOO

[woolying]

Danganronpa WLWeek Day 2: Protag/Antag !!! feat. kirizono

I saw this post by @/ministarfruit and it rewired my brain forever thank you for your service

@danggirlronpa

[sunb0ts]

something that always gets me about klavier is that he is so clearly just like. friendly. he cares so much and he cares too much. he's one to tease simultaneously but he so clearly just like. loves and loves and loves, even when it puts him in harm's way, he likes people and he likes being around people enough to be desperate for it and for friendship like. ough

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for using the only accessible restroom at the office, when I don't technically need to?

I am a trans person in my twenties who is neurologically & physically disabled. My disabilities are (mostly) invisible and I do not have any mobility aids or bulky access devices, nor do I have any toileting-related disabilities. This is relevant.

In the large office building where I work, each storey has: A women's room with no large accessible stall; a men's room with no large accessible stall; and a single-occupancy all-genders large accessible restroom.

I am visibly trans, regardless of how I dress or whether I wear a mask. I have been verbally harassed in both the women's room and the men's room, and security has been called on me once. HR told me to use the single-occupancy restroom to avoid further "conflicts." However, two of my coworkers on this floor have bulky mobility aids, so they cannot fit into the stalls of the men's room or women's room. Yesterday, one of them ("Pat") was in the lobby waiting for me to exit the single-occupancy restroom so they could use it. When Pat saw that I exited, not our other coworker with a mobility aid, they started to berate me for making them wait on someone who is not disabled. They insisted I use the women's room, and I was too upset to respond, I just walked away.

I don't want to go to HR again, who I think see me as the problem, rather than the bathroom layout being the problem. I don't want to be harassed in a gendered restroom again, but I feel terrible for making Pat wait on the only restroom they can physically access. I don't want to tell Pat and my other coworker with a mobility aid why I use that restroom, because I am afraid they will not be sympathetic to my reasons, since they cannot physically use the other restrooms and I physically can (just at significant risk of harassment and HR complaint).

I already try not to use any restroom at work, since it is causing so many problems with my coworkers. I work on an upper floor, and my badge only lets me into the floor where I work and the ground floor lobby, so I can't get to a different block of restrooms in a reasonable amount of time. My job has good benefits and is not too difficult, so quitting my job over the restroom situation feels extreme. I am trying to be considerate of all of my coworkers, but I am afraid that I am in the wrong anyway.

Would I be the asshole if I keep using the single-occupancy accessible restroom when I need to go?

I'm sorry if this sounds like bait. I am afraid of giving too much detail about where I work. If the mod wants more information I might be able to provide floor plans for my office without compromising my privacy?

What are these acronyms?

[themaskstayson]

One moment with you

could sate me for a lifetime

[intramoon]

Just my thoughts on InZoi (that no one asked for) ...

I am not a cynic but I am skeptical of any new "life simulation" games. And that's not to say I don't want The Sims to have a competitor, I think EA needs a competitor for The Sims. For the price tag of The Sims, EA needs pressure on them to address their complacency (with game content, the growing issues with paid content, etc). InZoi is far from that. At face value, I think the gameplay is unimpressive. I can understand why people are drawn to an in-depth, hyperrealistic character creation but to what end? The inclusion of AI, even if just for primarly patterns/textures, is an increasingly slippery slope. It's just for patterns ... for now, but how will AI provide shortcuts for the company in the future? That's one of my concerns and I think it's a bit shady for the company to have this feature. Any kind of AI generation has significant environmental impacts and contributes to art theft/the distribution of AI that has burdened the art community. I struggle to find a justifiable reason for the game having AI because I don’t think there is one. If you consider the computer that is needed to run a game with graphics like InZoi, the game isn’t accessible to people with “lower-end”/older PCs. An issue The Sims team had to address with the Sims 4 ie. the change in graphics and the game no longer being open world. I like that more people can play The Sims without needing a PC that is worth thousands of dollars. I keep seeing the comparison of InZoi to GTAV NPCs. As someone who has spent a lot of time playing with friends on GTAV FiveM servers, even those servers have better gameplay than I’ve seen with InZoi. Not to be funny but InZoi reminds me of those invasive 3D p*rn game ads.

The other aspect of InZoi that bothers me a little (maybe a lot) is the stark difference in how “regular” simmers are reacting to InZoi versus how some content creators/custom content creators are reacting. It’s a little frustrating for the people, even if through EA’s allotted 21-day early accesses, who make hundreds if not thousands of dollars off the community aren’t acknowledging let alone addressing the glaring concerns users have about InZoi. It seems many of them are going to brush these concerns aside for the opportunity to mod for the game (a game to me that doesn’t seem to value artists' work) and worse case scenario will jump ship to InZoi if Simblr takes issue with it.

It’s … interesting.

[ethaninthewilde]

[to myself] you are allowed to use mobility aids. you are allowed to use sensory aids. you are allowed to use mobility aids. you are allowed to use aids to make your life easier. there is not a "level" of disabled you have to be be to use aids. you are allowed, you are allowed, you are allowed.

[to myself] you are not weak for using aids. it does not mean you are not trying. there is no pride in suffering. there is no shame in using help. you are allowed to make your life easier. you are allowed, you are allowed, you are allowed.

[traybornes]

The episode where abed is going on a date with 2 girls (s4e8) is weird because hes kind of blowing off troy in the beginning like troy wants him to help him with brittas dance but he says No im going on 2 dates yay wacky hijinks and then he meets Rachel who is now the the girl he Actually liked that was under his nose the whole time Trope . LIKE in my opinion rachel here is a stand-in for troy.. troy was the actual one under abeds nose the whole time who wanted to do hijinks with him and then abed meets this random girl who Also likes movie tropes and hijinks and abed Also blows off like.. also crazy how abed never talks to rachel again until After troy leaves. LIKE OKK

[jamiesfootball]

Technically the Richmond coaches had two chances to move Jamie to center and then didn’t take it: once when Zava showed up and once when they switched everyone at practice.

Both times they assumed he wouldn’t do it

At the very least we know he was willing to do it the second time (he even asked if they meant to give him the same position), but honestly? The Jamie who came to them worried about the effect of Zava on the team might’ve done it too. He is well on board with being a team player at that point, which he also demonstrated many times in season two. He probably would’ve been hurt by it, but he would’ve agreed to do it

(Then we could’ve had a whole season deconstructing how Jamie conflates scoring with winning with value in a way that really isn’t healthy but I digress)

For the record I don’t think this would have fixed anything. They probably would’ve figured out how effective Jamie is in midfield sooner, but they still would’ve had Zava, and after Zava there would’ve been the tension of whether to keep Jamie where he was or have him step back up to striker, especially since they weren’t doing total football yet. In a lot of ways, having Jamie step up and volunteer for it later really sidesteps a lot of drama

I’m more so lamenting the fact that with Jamie, when it came to ‘be curious not judgmental, they chose to remain judgmental of his past behavior instead of curious about his new ones.

[spotaus]

Hi guys, this is usually what a doodle page ends up looking like <3 (oh, and @ancha-aus thought you might like this! Not writing but certainly fuel to my fire lol-)

This one is New Age filled!!! (Close-ups abd Lore beneath the cut!)

1) Night and Cross!

Night is actually very clingy once he's a teen. He doesn't usually realize it, but around the castle he'll snake to be closer to his Knights so long as there's no one he needs to keep his composure infront of is nearby. Cross is the one who's not used to physical touch (when it's not Ink ofc) so Night in his personal bubble makes his heart melt but also scares tf out of him <3

2) Error and Night's Meeting!

Error was carrying his whole life on his back and trying not to get arrested for unintentional property damage at this point, so when he saw the chance to get back at his brother and prove he was strong enough? Yeah, he got that on chance instantly. And was VERY smug when Nightmare chose him. (Also, Error is wearing gloves, so less Haphephobia)

3) Dream and Blue designs!

I think these are good tentative designs! Dream probably has a more regal fit, but he likes to play up that rugged exile look- He's inspired by Archers, while Blue takes on that classic Knightly-vibe. Their equipment is mostly stolen from Night's troops or brought with them from Blue's home kingdom.

Also, Dream is approx Killer's height at this point, shorter than Cross and *much* shorter than Apple!Nightmare. (Hc that Skeletons tend to be tinier in stature thanks to weird monster beauty standards. Horror and Geno's fam are outliers.)

4) Horror and Dust designs!

Horror is naturally a very *large* monster. He's very malnourished when Nightmare meets him, but by the time he's a Knight Nightmare has made sure that's no longer the case. He actually loves comfy, simple clothes, but to play up the whole 'strong mysterious' bit he wears a more barbaric Knight's garb. He doesn't mind acting scary, it's more fun that way :]. Dust is very very small, and envies horror sometimes for his size, but his tiny stature let's him control his body and move a lot quicker. He's very much based on a rogue, and usually covers the lower part of his face w/ a black cloth, and the upper part w/ his hood or mask. Dust only removes both to bathe, eat, or relax in a safe location. (Ignore that I can't draw the stupid gaster blaster lmao-)

These last two were space-fillers, but Cross and his Borzoi (Windmill, otherwise known as Milly (Killer named her-)) and really bad first wips of Ccino! I think Ccino was a chubby, happy toddler, but lost a lot of 'weight' (bone mass? Magic?) due to stress and pressure and bad eating habits. So it isn't until a while after the Coronation that he starts to relax abd feel safe enough to eat normal meals (Nightmare used to guilt him into eating snacks together, but as his boss (and younger brother) he can encourage it more often). By the time Killer shows he's still not quite healthy, but he's better. As more weight is lifted off his shoulders, the better he is. (That 'beauty' most people saw was a more stereotypical slimness, but Killer never stopped seeing Ccino as beautiful-) I think he never looked traditionally underweight, so no one noticed, and it was only much later that Night processed it. (And maybe it's why Dream hardly recognized him later on-)

[artistformerlyknownasbutttrumpet]

Your election post was the most holier-than-thou, performative, bullshit I’ve ever read. Get a grip and get some self awareness.

i will take "missed the entire point" for 500, alex

[riacte]

so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it