#why am I sharing her publicly |D

[puppy-phum]

tag game ✨

thanks for tagging me zey @thasorns ♥ i teared up at your addition about me, that is so sweet :( i miss our dff talks too! idk what you're into these days but would love to talk about some show with you again :')

-

1. why did you choose your url?

bc am obsessed with one (1) man who belongs to another amazing guy ♥ (been thinking about an url change lately tho bc i'd like to put last twilight and the hurt it caused behind me but haven't found something else to tie myself to yet. maybe we are and phumpeem if the ending delivers?)

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

not really. the only side blog i have is my og url vishcount saved for nostalgia purposes but there's nothing on that blog

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

started on this hellsite (affectionate) on the lord's year 2013 and it shows

4. do you have a queue tag?

i don't use the queue much so no. you will only catch me reblogging like ten posts in a row when am online/in the mood and then going back to lurking again

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? 

i was into a bunch of animes and tumblr was filled with amazing fanart. i wanted to be able to look at them in peace

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

to show who my url is about ♥ mork my beloved

7. why did you choose your header?

wanted it to fit the theme. also i adore the last twilight rooftop kiss, it's one of the brightest spots of the show

8. what’s your post with the most notes? 

most likely this the untamed edit from 2020. i was truly living my peak back then :'D tbh i feel like the whole of tumblr was living its peak when the untamed was airing and when we all lost it together for the longest time after

9. how many mutuals do you have?

way too many and i adore all of them, tho i probably forget or cannot recognize most of them. especially if you've changed your url/main fandom OR i have, we might not even know each other anymore haha

10. how many followers do you have?

more than i deserve and idk what all of you are even doing here but i like feeling like i'm part of some type of crowd ♥

11. how many people do you follow?

quite recently i unfollowed some inactive blogs and blogs about things i don't really care for anymore so my follow count is a nice number of 205

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

uh. i don't really know? do some posts from my finnish tumblr (suomitumppu) era count? :'D

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

am chronically online and i open this app like a fridge

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no, not really. am not really one to share strong opinions, especially negative opinions, publicly online which i think is the cause of most arguments ppl have here. i'd rather just keep my peace and be nice

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts 

mostly i don't like doing things when am told to do them

16. do you like tag games?

yes! it always makes me happy to know that someone is thinking about me and i do find these a lot of fun to do ^^

17. do you like ask games?

also yes. i just don't often reblog those bc i don't really have a lot of interactions on this site. if i find an ask game with very interesting questions, i might forward it to kiddo @i-am-just-a-kiddo and we do it together privately to enjoy it like that ♥

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

the first one that comes to mind is hanyi @ruanbaijie who i think deserves all the recognition for her absolutely amazing giffing skills ♥ she's also the sweetest so idk what's not to follow, make her even more famous if you can!

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nope. idk if i function like that tbh. i have some huge friend crushes tho and want to be closer with some ppl a lot! not mentioning names bc am shy haha

but i want to say that monica @stormyoceans is very important to me these days. she brightens up my days and makes my whole fandom experience so much better by simply being her enthusiastic and authentic self ♥ never change!

and also jessi @oswlld who i still cannot believe is someone i can call my friend and bestie on this site. i am so happy we've gotten to share bad buddy, vice versa, and last twilight together! also happy to hear about your life at times and to just share silly things with you ♥

third one i want to mention is shannen @icouldhyperfixatehim who always manages to stand out in a positive way. we don't interact much but i cannot help but feel very giddy about their presence on my dash. they leave the best tags and every time they reblog any of my edits with their tags, they manage to make me feel like i've made it and my edit was worth the effort :'D so thank you!

20. tags?

want to tag at least @psychic-waffles @foxofninetales @hils79 @sherrymagic @srnileforme and @thitiponqs ♥ also the ones i mentioned before are free to join and anyone else who wants to do this!

[fountainpenguin]

ok i’ve been thinking about this for ages: what did hadley think about dale naming their son development. did she really just roll with it lol (…actually, considering her character profile mentions her wanting to name kids after money…how not surprised am i about it if she did agree)

I'd like to say that when Dev was born, Dale was very touched and held him tenderly and cooed over him, and Hadley was so charmed by her usually weird-about-emotions husband in that moment that she wanted him to pick Dev's name and she accepted anything.

But that would be a blatant lie, because he didn't show up for Dev's birth. lol.

When I made my Dimmadome family tree, I was trying to pick names that were equally odd for Dev's ancestors (Dale's being Peddler - a salesman - and Doug's being Skullduggery, meaning dishonest and prone to tricks or bribing). Each name I picked was a play on the name they publicly use.

When I was picking a name for Doug's dad, I opted for a Scottish one since there's a Scottish ancestor in "Lost and Founder's Day" and I thought the Scottish ancestors might be more recent in the family than the Roman ones (since we know Dimmsdale was settled by the English and Scotland is closer to England than Italy is).

The name I picked for him was Duncan- a common Scottish name that starts with D, and I liked it. I went looking for words that could play on "dun" and about fell out of my chair when I came across Bildungsroman... a literary genre for works that focus on personal growth and development. And I couldn't NOT commit to that!

Doug is a real estate tycoon. I took this into account when naming his parents- I gave his mom the maiden name Huber, which can be interpreted as "owner of land."

I like to think Duncan married into a family of landowners and turned that into real estate sales, and between that and people asking what his name meant, he somehow ended up with the nickname Development (for land development) and that's what people called him.

There are many Scottish traditions about sons sharing the names of fathers, grandfathers, or great-grandfathers. I imagine Hadley and Dale agreed that their first kid would be the Dimmadome heir and Dale could pick the name, but any kids after that would probably take their names from her family tree instead of his... Mostly because Hadley is very close to her extended family and Dale isn't.

What I'm saying is that it's very in character for Hadley to say "I've heard about this cool tradition of sons named after the dad's paternal line" and then commit to that without fact-checking (I mean, Dale's named after the Dimmsdale founder Dale Dimm, so why would she assume there are specific guidelines?)

She definitely looked at Dale's family tree and pulled out a few names she liked (Making it a little easier on Dale than leaving him to narrow down names himself, but still letting him have final say since Dev's his kid too). The one thing you need to know about Hadley is that she is pretty laid-back and big on communication & teamwork.

Being a hoarder, she probably still has the piece of paper she wrote her name ideas on, with Dale circling "Development" and adding a question mark.

I imagine Hadley met Duncan | Development when he was alive and he got along with her better than Doug did, as Doug's always been sexist towards her. She also liked the name Cassias, after Dale's maternal grandfather, so they could've called Dev "Cash," but that doesn't start with D.

Dale picked the name Development (Let's be honest, he probably also got along better with his grandfather than his dad) and they gave him Devin as a middle name so they could call him something shorter. Hadley's reaction was definitely "Say no more; I have given birth and I am tired." One of the names Hadley did want for a kid was Bill... Probably because she'd love to name a daughter Dolly (after her mom) and then they'd be Dolly and Bill. She would've been pushing for Bildungsroman with Bill as a nickname. Dale, who probably got teased for his own names growing up (because his full name is Daedalus Dallas Peddler Dimmadome) would've put his foot down on that like, "We are not letting this kid have a name anywhere close to Dung." #Bad at everything, but decent at quality of life improvements If Hadley could've picked, she would've loved 4 kids named Dolly, Bill, Buck, and Penny; she has no shame.

Dev's parents call him "Devin" most of the time, but sometimes they use "Dev." My vision is that Dev doesn't have issues with either of his names because they're often spoken to him in affection, especially by his mom.

Thus, he doesn't insist they call him Dev or resent the use of his other names (seeing as he doesn't react in canon to Dale's frequent use of Devin, isn't surprised by the one time Dale called him Dev, and didn't react to his full name being dropped in "Battle of Big Wand"). He'll respond to anything. He'd probably go by Devin if that fit on a retro high score list.

The worst part about Dale and Hadley still being together in City Lights AU is that Hadley wants more kids, so you have to wonder what cursed names any others would end up with, like Skullduggery but shortened to Skull. Maybe Dev got off easy there...

[elegantfelinity]

the production of cats you saw sounds really cool, can you say more about it it sounds like it was awesome!!

i have to do this in parts and w acronyms bc my thoughts are too long for tumblr to comprehend in one post lmao gladly ! there’s a lot that happened that i love to share , so i’m gonna start at the beginning of the show . bomba came out first instead of demeter - she looked right at me the second time i went . this was my favorite ver of the naming of cats EVER . i was in the front row both times i went , so the cats were literally inches away from me whenever they were off stage . the first time i went , alonzo crawled across the aisle and basically sat in front of my mom and i till the song ended . the second time mungo was literally a foot away from me . basically inches because he was reaching his hand out , staring into my soul the entire time . i’m not even exaggerating . like i said in my response to your post , there weren’t many changes to my surprise . they did extend jenny’s song to give her a tap solo . if i remember correctly , i think a few other cats joined in . my brain couldn’t compute at first that it was jelly , dem and bomba singing together at the beginning when i first went because dem was still yellow and bomba was red , but jelly was blue . i'm not gonna complain tho , since i don’t really mind it and i got a pic w jelly in costume after the show , she was nice <3 i'm kinda scared to talk about tugger’s song publicly bc it was wild . i thought the guy playing tugger was great ( i got a pic w him too :D ) , he even sounded like john partridge at some points , but the choreo was definitely a choice . instead of misto singing the terrible bore line , he was off stage for a majority of the song , and a group of toms did instead . i don't get why they had to have all the queens in a circle squealing for him . it's less cringey when jellylorum herself isn't joining the kittens . granted , she was obviously younger in this prod , but i still didn't like the change . i loved the tuggerlurinaness though . i'm insane about them , ask any of my friends and they can tell you personally how annoying i am about them . my favorite part was when she was clinging to him while he was walking across the stage . 9/10 , i was genuinely scared for his song going in the first time . i talked about it here , but tugger doesn’t inherently reject bomba , which gives me all the confirmation i need that tuggerlurina's canon 😇 the griz they casted has one of the best voice i've ever heard , i genuinely prefer her to elaine paige . i almost started crying when she sang the memory reprise at the second performance . continuing in order , i really liked this ver of griz's song . only minor detail i didn’t enjoy is there was a lot of giggling when she came on stage . it felt like they were trying to make a point with them all mocking her , but the exaggerated giggles only work for mungo and rump , not dem and bomba . OH MY GOD THIS MUNGOJERRIE AND RUMPLETEAZER WERE PERFECT . they're literally my favorite performers of the roles now . they were funny , had great voices , and just worked so well together . and they let teazer keep her pearl necklace , 10 / 10 . old deut came out through the audience for his song . idk if he does that in official productions , but he did here . i sat on the right aisle seat the first time i went and literally front row center the second time . he came down through the left aisle , so i didn’t really get to process his entrance because he was all the way on the other side . either way , cute detail . my mom and i have an inside joke abt deut , so i was kinda pointing at her during the song . i think the actor noticed , which was cool .

[halfbit]

Im struggling to find ur lore amongst the chaos could u tag me in it please??

I wanted to read what u got since u seem to like mine a lot, i wanna show u the same support u gave me ^^

ahh LMAO ofc!! i have a complicated relationship with organization but i'm trying :'D i'll send it your way

in the mean time, here's part of something that i haven't publicly shared anywhere yet? it's a work in progress since i want the final version to include illustrations (which aren't done yet) but this segment is more or less ready. ＿＿＿＿

the information in this paper is based on the works of kanohen haeto, often dubbed "the father of modern folklore", whose books such as heas komin living legends and yaga senka night secrets have shared the stories of our past with a new generation. his academic works are also some of the most comprehensive collections of written folklore of our era. we would also like to thank ayaten omiwa[1] for her wonderful and striking illustrations accompanying this article. the goal of this project is to examine the roles and characteristics of animals and animal figures in the traditional folk culture of the southern continent, we will not be going into (most of) the world myths and tales of the gods, instead, these are the first stories we told, and some still tell, to our children. they are our fables and our warnings, our answers and our bedtime stories. at the end of this, the reader will have just scratched the surface of these tales, but that will still be a success. tens of thousands of history, lessons, and memories of tens of thousands of our ancestors cannot be held in the hands of a single work. even kanohen haeto cannot write down what has been forgotten before he could hear it. this is just a small catalyst, but perhaps it will serve to make a new generation ask what has been forgotten, and to preserve what is still remembered before it is lost all the same.

.............

countless species of birds have called saonkaya and our neighboring nations home throughout history, but some have left more of a mark than others on our tales. the most significant may be the seika, the name of a sea bird that centers many of our fables. the exact bird being spoken of has been forgotten, but common assumption is that the folklore seika is likely an aralik or naeseika based on the limited physical descriptions we have. the seika of folklore though is not so much a species as it is an individual, with a history and relationships of its own which makes it a bit of an unusual starting point. however the seika still shares some common characteristics with other birds in folk tales, for instance, often acting as the troublemaker, or in more charitable representations, the stubborn youth. that may be why the seika and other birds are so popular in children's stories, they are quite relatable to the rambunctious children they serve as lessons for. in one of the seika and betkai folktales, seika's red tail, the story centres on the seika's stubborn and impulsive nature, and the consequences of its lack of caution or preparation. when seika gets speared by a iseluba while diving into its hunting waters, the seika is so blind to its mistake that it does not even realize it has been injured until it lands on the betkai. seeing how seika's tail has turned red, it is only betkai who asks, "have you been hurt?" and the seika gives the quintessential seika answer, "if i am, it is not enough to matter." other birds, in folklore often cousins or family of seika, are usually not as extreme in their temper, but they are still reliably reckless. in the tale of taipha and the silver pond, she is so taken with her reflection that she does not warn the other creatures of the pond's danger. instead she lashes out when they plummet down for disturbing her, but does not stop them from drowning. in another variation of the tale, she becomes so incensed by the continuous interruptions that she kills every fish in the pond so that it will only have value to her.

when not contributing to destruction, in some instances birds may serve as guides, as in the black desert and the songbird, a saonkayan folktale in which a tallo guides a fisherman's daughter to a desert where each grain of sand is a precious gem. this has likely given various songbirds in saonkaya their unique association as good omens of fortune or wealth. this is less common though in pre-saonkayan stories, in the case of the little bird that turns lakes red, the titular bird is instead an omen of plague and other illness. when birds are part of a pair or ensemble of animals, they tend to be selfish and cruel instigators that often cause their own downfall, such as in the chain of betkai, where seika steals betkai's shining chain, refusing to give it back even when betkai loses his fur and claws. they are usually not particularly bright though, betkai is able to get his chain back by telling the humans where seika nests, and seika is unable to fly away fast enough with the heavy chain in its claws. still, they refuse to drop it, and it makes them easy prey. in a similar role, a baral poisons the tree it nests in so that other birds won't make it their home, and then wails to all who fly past when the poison takes their own hatchlings. however, birds are not the only creatures that fly the southern skies, and the distinctions are significant in folklore especially. the henmao has shared several stories with its brothers in flight, usually acting as an opposing force, though often not a benevolent one. in the story of the feather banquet the henmao, irritated at the incessant noise of a kakaun wedding procession, descends upon it in a feast of anger. they also show up in the henmao and the keman, where the henmao has to face a creature with even more explosive anger than it, the henmao does not seem to be a creature of pure anger though. in fact, unlike the seika, it is often risk-aware, it simply does not care as long as it thinks it can survive the retaliation. in this story the henmao ends up bringing in a third party, a young mouse, to negotiate between it and the keman. they reach a mutual agreement, and eat the mouse to seal the deal.

a more agreeable flying beast would be the untaolo, which was said to aid the hero tasuma as her wings in her battle against a wyrm, and even in less intense stories the untaolo is often a symbol of loyalty. it can fly away freely, and yet it will always return to those who have good will. there is even an old proverb, "if an untaolo turns tail to the king, you best follow." in some stories, untaolo may be associated with death, although not as a bringer. in the traditional funeral rites of some communities, especially in saira and ramoon, there is often a verse that asks for an untaolo to guide the deceased across the river of the gods.[2] another that shares the untaolo's associations with death, but not its reverence, would be the cuural, in greater myths cuural have been servants of the spirits of death, and it was bad luck to see one, especially during travels. cuural were said to steal away the health and life of people who had been unharmed or well, because they were always in competition with eachother to bring more people to their lords. since cuural travel in packs and are opportunistic feeders, including scavenging on corpses, they also got a reputation for making a feast out of the fallen in battlefields. their fiercesome faces likely aided their poor reputations, and in recent times, there have been some attempts at legislation to criminalize the excessive and ecologically unnecessary culling of their population, but none have come to fruition, and sightings get rarer by the year. perhaps one day we will only remember them by their roles in these old stories. most people would rejoice. ending this segment on an interesting example, there is a particular story that has recently had a wave of retellings, but the original is the bakotamu's daughter. the bakotamu was said to be a close relative of betkai, and shared betkai's ability to shapeshift into a person, but was often much more willing to do so, and there are many stories of it changing into a person for many years to live among humans. because of its close association with human affairs, the bakotamu has been characterized with many different traits throughout history. it is sometimes benevolent, but it can be equally vindictive, there are just as many ways to beckon a bakotamu as there are to expel it. the bakotamu in the bakotamu's daughter is an anxious and stubborn example, and they are famously very concerned by the matters and opinions of gods. they cause a great deal of suffering for their daughter due to their inability to accept her existence, and are ultimately left to anguish on their actions for time eternal. this story is often said to be why the bakotamu's face is forever streaked with tears. whenever wrong is being done, the bakotamu finds reason to cry for it, even if they have done it to themselves. because of this, they are often a comedic victim and villain in their own folktales, and children will be told not to cry unless they're a bakotamu at times. this has been a brief but broad sample of birds and other beasts of flight in folklore and fable. in the next segment, we will cover land beasts, from above and below ground. they are often the other half of a pair in a story, alongside the prior introduced birds, so we will now begin to be able to compare a more complete picture of animal dynamics as characters in our traditional stories.

footnotes 1. art created by me, damnit↩︎ 2. if someone is not particularly well-liked, the untaolo may still be invoked, but may be asked to leave them to drown instead↩︎

[good-sapphicrwbyaus]

I usually write these kind of posts on my personal R/WBY account, but considering the topic I’m about to discuss it makes more sense if I do it here. Trigger warnings for transph*bia, TERF rhetoric and the s3xualization of minors underneath the cut.

So for those that don’t know, a well-known creator within the F/DMN known as y8ay8a has been shown to support TERF ideology via her Twitter follows & likes and she follows the Twitter account of “Gays Against Groomers” scumbags who spew a bunch of hateful/harmful rhetoric against the trans community.

I’m not going to bother arguing why this is obviously a bunch of bullshit to be subscribing to, especially since it seems y8ay8a’s been doubling down {at least on Twitter}. She’s “addressed” things on her Tumblr blog and I use that loosely because she didn’t actually address anything at all. So let me make it perfectly clear to y8ay8a, her fans and the rest of the F/NDM…

Regardless of what she says, she is transphobic, she doesn’t support the trans community and she is a TERF.

One cannot say that they support trans people {or as she put it “adults” I see what you’re trying to imply there, you piece of shit} and then subscribe to TERF ideology/anti-trans rhetoric. It doesn’t matter if you say that you follow trans creators, you don’t actually support them and you’re using them as a shield.

Y8ay8a, there are legit reasons why people are upset with you right now, people aren’t “bullying you” they’re literally getting after you because of the hateful beliefs that you seem to support. If you decide to keep ignoring the justified criticism that’s being thrown your way, then the only one to blame for your “cancellation” within the F/NDM is you.

Also I find it incredibly “hilarious” that you say that “there isn’t much drama to feed from my accounts tbh” when there’s actually a couple of things that you can also be criticized on… like how you’ve drawn multiple NSFW images of R/uby, most of which involve her being paired with adult characters such as H/arriet. It doesn’t matter if she’s a “fictional character”, she’s still a god damn minor you fucking freak… I thought that you & the bigoted groups/people you follow cared about the safety of children? How can you care about the safety of minors, when you’ve drawn NSFW artwork that involves a fictional character who’s underage? You do realize that you’re only giving the impression that it’s okay for others to sexualize minors whether they’re fictional or not, right? Gotta love the blatant hypocrisy of it all…

There’s also you shipping I/Ilia x S/ienna and drawing NSFW content involving the ship. The age gap between them is large and there’s a power imbalance because S/ienna was the leader of the WF {I/lia’s boss}. I’ve also seen that you’ve drawn NSFW content of N/ora x E/lm {large age gap} and S/alem x E/merald {do I even need to explain why this is fucked up}amongst other things.

I don’t want to hear the pathetic excuse of “but some of those were commissions”… you had the ability to say no and yet you still decided to take the money and do those art pieces anyways, there’s no fucking excuse.

For those looking for evidence, I obviously cannot show the images here. However, if you send me a DM I’ll let you know what her NSFW Twitter name is… just don’t be surprised if they delete the account for damage control. I’m not sharing the account name publicly, since I don’t want minors accessing it and viewing that filth {DON’T DM ME IF YOU’RE A MINOR}.

If anyone who follows me still follows/supports this creator, unfollow me immediately. This blog is a safe space for everyone who identifies under the trans umbrella, TERFS aren’t welcomed here. I myself am Bigender and simultaneously identify as a woman & non-binary {she/they}, so this topic is important to me.

As an LGBTQ+ space within the F/NDM, as someone who identifies under the trans umbrella and as someone who has many trans friends/loved ones, I felt that I needed to speak up about this. We don’t need people like y8ay8a within this community, especially if they refuse to acknowledge that they support incredibly harmful ideology/groups. If anyone claims that I’m being a “big, mean bully”, this is a grown-ass woman {if this isn’t how she identifies please let me know} who’s rightfully being criticized/called out for her alleged bigoted views… all of you {including y8ay8a} need to grow the fuck up.

[genkishoujo]

cw: csa, pedophilia, incest answers my ask, proceeds to cut out all the parts that matter such as me asking her not to share the ask publicly. or the part where the person in question (who i have never once sent messages to, @'d, or even mentioned by name on my blog) has also posted about and discussed furry ageplay diaper porn as being "transgressive and challenging" instead of, you know, porn of furry toddlers

but anyway, because you do not understand where she insinuated in her original post that she was clearly sympathizing with people who's kinks revolve around roleplaying as children or in incestuous sexual relationships, i will clearly explain it for you and anyone else who cares enough to come from your blog to send me a message about it.

"every cis girl on the planet calls their boyfriend 'daddy' now and game of thrones is a globally beloved tv show" why does she feel the need to bring this up specifically? in a conversation about kink positivity, why is the first thing she chooses to bring up as a point of sympathy and defense a situation where underage sex and incest is occurring. she specifically quotes game of thrones, an IP that is filled with rape, pedophilia, and yes, incest. 'daddy' can be a lighthearted joke between friends, and i don't think the general public is going to care or accuse you of incest/pedophilia apologia for referring to someone as mommy or daddy, but she is insinuating beyond that by bringing in "private sexual activities" and "fantasies", alongside an IP that is a shining example of a brutal, graphic depiction of sexual violence. could i be reading too much into it? sure! absolutely, that's why i reached out to you privately to discuss it, i didn't mention anyone by name in the vague posts i made on my blog (that were unrebloggable) or send any messages to anyone else about it. i only reached out to you in particular because i have followed you for a long time, and felt that as someone who is also kink-positive and trans, would be able to understand my point of view in this situation. i am fully aware that trans women are unfairly targeted and accused of being predators, and i am fully cognizant of that bias and that these could be bad faith readings of general statements on the value of uh.... furry, diaper porn of toddlers, and how it's totally fine and normal to fantasize about incest, but again, that's why i reached out privately! because i don't want to perpetuate stupid internet infighting and i would prefer to discuss it privately, but you took that option away when you posted my ask publicly, with my name on it, when i specifically asked you not to.

[loulines]

I got my anniversaries mixed up.

Fuck.

Not that it matters. The thing on June 21st was something I confessed to someone which started a series of things that made me end up in therapy. Still ironic.

My fandom anniversary is about a week later. Can't really remember when exactly anymore.

Again, it doesn't matter.

I survived my first ever therapy session, that's what matters.

Normally I wouldn't write about it, in fact I haven't really felt like talking about the details for the couple of days, not even to my friends. My family doesn't even know I went there.

The only reason why I want to publicly speak about it is because I know there are many people like me who are struggling and on the verge of breaking apart, but they're too afraid to start therapy, or procrastination and executive dysfunction are kicking their ass. I can only hope to inspire at least one person.

I'd rather not talk about how I even got to that point aside from the thing I mentioned earlier because this should stay private. But it was that and also years of other unfortunate events that shaped me into the miserable wreck I am today.

I've been considering starting therapy when things were still somewhat "not great not terrible", but since I was terrified of talking to anyone, I did everything I could to not find a specialist.

Then, when I actually seriously considered getting the appointment, I have already done things I was even more scared to talk about with a stranger because therapist or not, the last thing I needed was to have someone confirm that I did morally wrong and unforgivable things...

And of course living in a hell of a homophobic country doesn't help either.

Hundreds of mental breakdowns later, and buckets of tears I've cried, my irl friend told me that I should really look for someone to help me. My first reaction was of course, "no way I will do it," but then she told me that she's looking for a therapist herself too. And she told me about her ways to look for someone.

So eventually I spent some time on research, wrote down some names and then left it like that without making an appointment.

It was fine. I did the first step anyway and that was what mattered. A few days later I was getting out of another meltdown and then I just... I grabbed my ipad, went back to the list and made an appointment with the therapist that "seemed" to be the best for me.

And that was it.

I almost started crying while I was signing up because it felt like I was making a life changing decision. And idk... Maybe because I finally agreed with myself to get the professional help I've been avoiding so much in the past.

On the day of the appointment I was stressed AF but it hit the catalyst 15 minutes before. I thought I would pass out and I don't know if it was my nerves or the heatwave or both.

And then it happened. Again, I don't want to share any details. Some things got clearer right away and made me feel calm now, the rest is still confusing. I definitely need more sessions. I might attend them feeling less stressed though. Hopefully.

I don't want to draw any conclusions now. I don't want to examine myself in search of finding immediate changes in me and my POV... That's gonna take a while and just because I've been feeling slightly better for a few days and not s**c*d*l (as usual) doesn't mean I'm already fixed. I'm not. I'm still beyond broken and more than confused.

Tbh I know absolutely nothing about mental health. All the attempts at trying to understand what is happening to me or others were only making things worse. I used to think I can DIY my own therapy without stepping out of my comfort zone. I cannot.

Had I started therapy earlier, say 8 months earlier, maybe I would be in a very different situation right now. And the people that were affected by my mental fuck up would be as well. Maybe things would be so much better now. I will never know. Time can't go in reverse, what's done is done. The only thing I can do now is to trust a specialist and hope I chose the right one.

And wait.

For days, weeks, months, maybe years...

Until life is good again.

[queerfictionwriter]

Regarding Drama

To anyone who saw this post here and is curious about what's going on: yeah, me too.

I had a falling out with former friends and fanfic co-collaborators Bunnywest and DiscontentedWinter. And I didn't say anything anywhere public about that, because personal relationships are, to me, personal business. I simply went on my way, and left them be.

And now, almost a year since I've spoken to either of them, they're making public callouts with baseless accusations about my supposed toxic behaviour. The trouble with this is that I haven't done anything to warrant that claim, but it’s impossible to prove a negative--I can't show you screenshots of all the times I didn't send anon hate or harass an author, the times I stayed out of fandom drama and toxicity, the times I chose to block or not engage. All I can do is invite anyone who cares to look to go through my Tumblr Archive, which is publicly available, and see the record of my behaviour for yourselves. To consider what interactions I have had with you, and the nature thereof. I’m far from perfect, but am equally a far cry from “toxic”.

I can speak on the subject of the collab pieces, which is: as a co-creator, I have equal share of the copyright and intellectual property we created. My co-creators made the choice to delete those pieces without speaking to me first, despite the fact that I was contactable; I didn't consent to having my work deleted. The AO3 notification of the deletion included the hmtl of the works, and between that and the independent copies I kept--which I do with all my written works, as keeping backups is wise in the digital age--I was able to re-post them. And, as any student can tell you: you must cite ideas and information that are not your own, because plagiarism extends to ideas, too, which is why I named my co-creators. However, I was responsible for a large degree of the conceptual development of those stories, even if they were written in my co-creators' words. That means it's not as simple as slicing up who-wrote-what to determine ownership. We all co-own all of it. So if they had the right to delete those works without asking me, I have the right to re-post them without their permission, especially given that AO3 is intended to be an archive--a forever home for fanworks despite situations such as these.

I can also speak, at least somewhat, to the accusation of dogpiling, because as DiscontentedWinter herself is so very fond of saying to fandom antis and purity police: words have meanings. In this instance, to dogpile means "an outpouring of like-minded criticisms or retorts in response to something". Bunnywest published a book, and negative reviews are part of making any form of commercial art; it is plainly ridiculous to accuse me of dogpiling when a) I have not contributed a review, either positive OR negative (my name on Amazon matches the name in the header of my blog, and I invite you to check); b) I have not asked anyone to review her book; c) the number of unfavourable reviews on the book are in the single-digits, and the overall rating is 4.5 out of 5 stars; d) one of the unfavourable reviews was deleted after I, and the person who left it, were confronted by a friend of Bunnywest and pressured to remove it.

Two reviews--one, now--is not an outpouring. I did not participate. I am being inappropriately held responsible for the actions and opinions of others, despite complying with the request to ask one of the reviewers--a friend of mine--to take the review down, and the review being deleted as desired. I have made no attempt to contact either of them, slander them, or otherwise harass them. I’ve left them be. So I don’t understand what’s going on over on their end, but I’ve been over here, minding my own business. I would appreciate being extended the same courtesy.

[moonflowerbread]

calamitous

ca•lam•i•tous

/kəˈlamədəs/

adjective

involving calamity; catastrophic or disastrous.

"You can taste the satisfying, chaotic, calamitous losses and defeats the near future holds for the House of the Dragon."

fandom(s) : HotD/DotD (asoiaf)

genre(s) : fantasy, romance, drama

pairing(s) : Prince Aemond Targaryen × Baratheon! Reader (Fem) - Slight/Implied

rating : 16+ recommend

warning(s) : reader is a kinda crazy?, mentions of disfigurement (Aemond losing his eye), OC! Reader (if that makes any sense),

plot : Prince Aemond Targaryen goes to Storm's End in order to gain the loyalty of Lord Borros Baratheon. In order to do so, Prince Aemond must choose between five sisters to marry.

A/N : this is basically just an Aemond × OC story but with the use of you/your :D, this is also my first story to be shared publicly so I do hope you enjoy!

(I do NOT give permission to edit this story, in ANY way)

(gif(s) used above does NOT belong to me and I do NOT claim any rights to it)

Just hours ago, your father had forewarned you and your sisters of the stately Targaryen Prince that stood before you all now.

Throughout your childhood, you had been told many stories of House Targaryen and the questionable sanity of its family members. Apparently, or so Cassandra has claimed, a hatred had been seeded between the family after King Viserys named his eldest child, the comley Princess Rhaenyra his heir.

It's said that the hostility between family members only grew stronger after a lamentable event occurred that lead to the loss of Prince Aemond Targaryen's left eye at the hands of his younger nephew, Prince Lucerys Velaryon.

It was wrong, but after learning of what happened to the Prince all those years ago, when you were only a child, you began wondering what it was like. How you wished to experience what it felt like to take the eye of another person, to permanently maim another person.

You were immediately aware how distasteful your unusual appetite for all things dark and gruesome. No child of nine should be daydreaming of the odious murders and torture of others when breaking one's fast, or taking a bath, or when laying awake instead of trying to fall asleep.

You knew all this, but eventually the thoughts of harming others consummed you entirely. You were no longer a curious child who had heard one too many stories of morbid things before bedtime, you had become a young beast whose mind constantly thought of fantasy images of all things brutal.

"Sister," Your sweet younger sister Floris whispers out to your youngest sister, Ellyn.

In physical appearance and personality, you and your sisters are very different.

Your four sisters, two older and two younger, were nicknamed the Four Storms because of their constant and merciless bickering, while you usually stood silently to the side, unamused.

Each of your sisters shared the same untamed dark hair and remarkable blue eyes of your father. You, however, had the dark eyes and strawberry-blonde hair of your adored mother.

Floris, who is five-and-ten, is widely regared as the prettiest daughter of Lord Borros Baratheon and Lady Elenda Caron due to her thick eyelashes, plump lips, and naturally curvy body. You have been envious of Floris since your shared youth, with you being only eleven moons older than her, before you could even understand what the word even meant.

This, alone, is why you strongly suspect Prince Aemond will choose your sweet younger sister as his bride tonight.

If you am correct in my prediction, Maris will surely be upset. Maris, who is only a year older than you, had been yearning to be in a place of high power since her childhood. Always wanting to use her intelligence to become powerfully and wealthy. So, becoming the wife of a Prince, like the stoic young man listening to our father's ramblings, is just what she needs to achieve these life-long goals.

Everything was going smoothly, with the white haired Prince staring expectantly at each of you, his impressive sword proudly poking out from behind his black leather cloak.

A hand came to rest on your stomach in an attempt to pacify the uncomfortable nerves shooting through your body as the Prince's intimidating purple eye began to gaze upon you silently.

The intensity of his stare felt like a challenge to you, purple and black clashing together in a silent demand to keep eye contact.

The tranquility inside the icy interior of Storm's End was interrupted by the fortuitous arrival of the timid Prince Lucerys.

A pup of a man, your father's voice mocks in your head.

"Prince Lucerys Velaryon," A voice introduced the young boy.

Prince Aemond turned away from you, something dangerous glinting in his beautiful eye as he looked at his newly arrived nephew.

"Son of Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen." The man finished, thunder sounding off somewhere in the distance.

Involuntarily, your eyes narrow at the dark haired Prince, immediately understanding why the bastard has made an appearance. No doubt acting as a loyal messenger for his mother, trying to remind who swore themselves to the late King Viserys' eldest born.

"Lord Borros, I have brought you a message from my mother," The pup finally speaks up, his jaw clenching slightly, "The Queen."

You can feel laughter bubbling in your throat at his impressively brave, but stupid words. You have no personal quarrel with Princess Rhaenyra and would love nothing more than to finally see a woman rule, to see a Queen sit the Iron Throne. But, you are no fool. You ade aware, thanks to your father's enjoyment of hearing himself speak, what is likely to become of the kingdom if a woman was to rule.

"Yet earlier this day, I received an envoy from the King. Which is it?" Your father jokes, his hands wrapping impatiently around the arms of his seat, "King or Queen?"

A titter spills from your throat, the same suppressed laugh that had been waiting to be released.

Prince Aemond turns his head to stare at you once again, a tight smirk playing on his lips as words begin flying out of your mouth in a sneer as you look up to my father, "The House of the Dragon does not seem to know who rules it."

You have nothing against Prince Lucerys or anyone else from the noble House Targaryen, but your eyes still desperately search my father's face. The strong desire to please your father has blurred right and wrong since you were a toddler.

Your heart lifts in your chest as your father, and your two oldest sisters, crease up at your deride towards the younger Prince.

When you finally look away from your father, you notice the intense but welcoming stare from Prince Aemond.

For just a moment, you feared maybe he disliked you now, but then you quickly remember his feelings for you are worth nothing as he will not choose you to wed.

"What's your mothers message?" The demanding voice of your father pulls you from your distraction.

Prince Lucerys reaches inside his red cloak, successfully pulling out a tightly rolled letter from within.

Your throat dries in anticipation, dark eyes glancing to the tall Prince standing slightly in front of you for just a moment before watching the important letter be handed off to your father.

He holds the unopened paper before raising his voice in annoyance, "Where's the bloody maester?"

Your eyes fall onto one of the people standing neatly in the distance. A pressure begins to form in the middle of your eyebrows as his eyes meet yours for a second, sensing your stare before scurrying to your father, the satisfying panicked tapping of his poorly polished shoes echoing his embarrassment throughout the tenebrous castle.

Now tired of waiting to learn the contents within the letter delivered by Prince Lucerys, you look to your sweet sister Floris who stands silently to your right, symbolizing to Prince Aemond that you are older than she is.

She playfully raised her eyebrows at tou once your eyes meet, her blue eyes glancing to the boy pup and to you again.

You eyes roll at her silent question, her smile is interrupted by your father's sudden outburst. His anger was visible in the way his pupils expand to devour almost all the blue of his iris'.

"King Aegon at least came with an offer; my swords and banners for a marriage pact. If I do as your mother bids, which one of my daughters will you wed," He glances over to you and your sisters for a moment, "Boy."

You can almost taste the panic swell inside the young Prince, his chin raising slightly in an attempt to calm his nerves before responding.

"My lord, I am not free to marry. I am already betrothed."

Your father lets out a deep sigh, "So, you come with empty hands. Go home, pup. And tell your mother that the Lord of Storm's End is not some dog that she can whistle up at need to set against her foes."

Your eyes dart from your father to the younger Prince who stands silently, trying desperately to stay brave in the face of such harsh rejection.

After taking in a small breath to steady himself, Prince Lucerys claims, "I shall take your answer to the Queen, my Lord." His brown eyes narrowing slightly at his soundless uncle.

The One-Eyed Prince smirks humorlessly at his pug-nosed nephew, his sharp jaw clenching in clear annoyance.

Your eyes close shut as the bastard Prince begins to leave, the tightness enveloped around your chest slowly leaving, much to your distaste.

"Wait," Prince Aemons demands, his voice alone stopping his family member from leaving and forcing your eyes to open again, "My Lord Strong."

A satisfied smile spreads on your face, deep dimples forming effortlessly at the domineering jest.

You watch the young Prince quietly as he turns to face his uncle.

"Did you really think that you could fly about the realm trying to my brother's throne at no cost?" The Prince of Old Valyria colours speaks again, his polished black shoes slowly tapping the hard floor.

Quickly, Prince Lucerys says, "I will not fight you."

How unfortunate, you think as your eyes narrow at the boy just barely younger than yourself.

"I came as a messenger, not a warrior."

Your head tilts to one side, making some of your hair fall from it's near place tucked behind your ear as you let a scoff escape into the air, "Prince Lucerys, forgive me but, you do not actually believe yourself fit to fight, do you?"

The secondborn son of Princess Rhaenyra looks at you, his dark eyebrows creased in worry at your comment, likely detecting your threatening tone.

Feeling the stare of the first Prince to arrive in Storm's End, you look at him, expecting to be greeted with an unwelcome glare but, instead, you are being smiled at.

A few silent seconds pass as he continues to stare at you silently before turning his head back to his eldest sister's bastard.

"I want you to put out your eye," The Targaryen Prince begins, his fingers taking ahold of the black patch covering his left eye to removing it, revealing a beautiful sapphire which has replaced the eye he lost so many years ago, "As payment for mine. One will serve; I do not wish to blind you."

You let out a quiet breath from between the small opening between your lips when Prince Aemond pulls a small dagger from his waist, only to throw it to the ground and towards his nephew.

Your hand comes to your mouth, your teeth taking the nail of my thumb between them as excitement squeezes at your heart.

"I plan to make a gift of it to my wife," Prince Aemond declares, his purple eye fixating on you for only a second.

Your head lowers slightly in thought, wondering if you had merely imagined Prince Aemond's eye on you.

"No." Was Prince Lucerys' simple answer.

Prince Aemond's long white hair fluttered lightly with the wind flowing in the great castle as he spoke, his chin raised high, "Than you are craven, as well as a traitor."

"Not here." Your father attempts to intervene the brewing argument.

Suddenly, without warning, Prince Aemond advanced forward, easily picking up the dagger he had thrown earlier, his voice much more manic from just seconds ago, "Give me your eye, or I will take it, bastard!"

Prince Lucerys took his sword out of its sheath, taking multiple steps back as fear contorts his face.

"Not in my hall !" Your father yells out, standing up from his seat made of stone as his eyes look between the two young Princes.

Prince Aemond stops his aggressive approach, the dagger tight in his hands as his eyes continue to stare holes into the bastard Prince.

"The boy came as an envoy." He reminds the roomful of people, but mostly Prince Aemons whose chest heaves, "I'll not have bloodshed beneath my roof."

You look to your father's tense frame, eyes narrowing at him, disappointed in the sudden halt of action between the two feuding Princes.

"Take Prince Lucerys back to his dragon."

When nobody dares to move, scared to disturb the calmness washing over, almost, everyone now that the fight has been stopped before it could get any more dangerous.

"Now." He demands coldly.

And so, the guards do as they are told.

As the knights escort the young Prince through the great doors of Storm's End, you watch the back of Prince Lucerys' head carefully, thinking fondly of the sudden flavor of death melting on your sharp tongue.

You can taste the satisfying, chaotic, calamitous losses and defeats the near future holds for the House of the Dragon.

[nomynameisnothing]

Saturn, god of Harvest or Time of Reaping

(sixth planet from the Sun).

The Saturn Black Cube is derived from the shape one can superimpose upon an image of the mysterious hexagonal storm that rages continuously on Saturn's north pole.

The cube is a three-dimensional SQUARE;

There is no more room for wickedness here. Send it back from whence it came.

Here is where the insanity ends.

Truth is like a lion, it doesn't have to defend itself. Just let it free.

MIB it's your turn inside the hex prison. Talk to me when you want out.

"it is a symbol of stability and permanence, of geometric perfection. It represents the final stage of a cycle of immobility, it can be seen as the truth, because it looks the same from any perspective, it is commonly thought of as the counterpart of the sphere."

The planet Saturn reminds us about the restrictions of matter and time - it asks of our commitment, responsibility, and boundaries.

What demon is associated with Saturn?

Zazel (spirit) Zȃzȇl (Hebrew: זאזל, romanized: Zazl) The darker spirit (demon) of Saturn, mentioned as a spirit in such works as the Key of Solomon.

(Prod. Trippy OJ ja ja thieves must reap what they sew. Karmic payment please and thank you)

The modern sun symbol, pictured as a circle with a dot (☉ SUN)

Who is Saturn according to Bible?

Saturn is the planet the Edomite Judeans associated with their “god”, now called “Satan”. The Edomites themselves were descendants of the tribe of Esau, who mated with Canaanites, worshippers of Moloch. Moloch is a “Minotaur” demon, half-man, half bull, to which the Canaanites made sacrifices to.

Note that a hexagonal chaos storm that only exists on the north pole of Saturn, and it is an anomaly not understood by science (publicly 😑).

JESUS IS HOMELESS HE DON'T LIVE THERE

Any malicious curses or hexes or other forces of darkness intended to cause harm shall be ensnared by their own design, returning the intention to its sender.

The Moon governs emotions, while Saturn represents discipline and restraint.

Saturn is the harshness of existentialism, giving the feeling of insignificance in the face of hard truths of life.

Saturn, or Shani, is a planet of karmic justice, demanding accountability and hard work while offering wisdom and lasting success to those willing to endure its trials. Its presence in astrology is a reminder that growth comes not from avoiding challenges but from embracing them.

Why is 2024 the year of karma?

Starting with our Year of Karma, 2024 is supposedly considered the year of karma because the number 8 is seen as the most karmic. Anastasia says that the number 8 signifies transformation, death, rebirth, and is considered the karmic number.

What chakra is Saturn?

Throat

Heart (Anahata) chakra - Planet Venus. Throat (Vishuddhi) chakra - Planet Saturn. Third Eye (Ajna) chakra - Planet Sun. Crown (Sahasrara) chakra - Planet Moon.

What are Saturn's powers?

With his regenerative powers and Yokai transformation into Gyuki, Saturn is a formidable fighter who can easily hold his own against any opponent. Don't underestimate Saturn's ability to release massive bursts of Haki or stop enemies in their tracks with his telekinetic powers - he is a force to be reckoned with.

Greek personifications of planetary gods charged with early versions of the planetary symbols: Mercury has a caduceus; Venus has, attached to her necklace, a cord connected to another necklace; Mars, a spear; Jupiter, a staff; Saturn, a scythe; the Sun, a circlet with rays radiating from it; and the Moon, a headdress with a crescent attached.

A diagram in Johannes Kamateros' 12th-century Compendium of Astrology shows the Sun represented by the circle with a ray, Jupiter by the letter zeta (the initial of Zeus, Jupiter's counterpart in Greek mythology), Mars by a shield crossed by a spear, and the remaining classical planets by symbols resembling the modern ones, without the cross-mark seen in modern versions of the symbols.

What angel is Saturn?

Cassiel (Hebrew: ��ַצְפִּיאֵל Qaṣpīʾēl, "God is my wrath"; also known as קַפְצִיאֵל Qap̄ṣīʾēl, "God is my leap"; Arabic: كسفيائيل, Kasfīyāʾīl) is an angel appearing in extracanonical Jewish, Christian, and Islamic mystical and magical works, often as one of the Seven Archangels, the angel of Saturn, and in other roles.

The matrix debunked in a nutshell.

Feel Kahleesi's wrath 🔥🔥🔥🔥

🚪EXPELLIARMUS

"Don't open the 💰 of 💨" 😉

So it shall be.

71817

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️

For those who celebrate Christmas I hope you’ve completed your shopping and can enjoy your time reading blogs today or enjoy some other non day job activity. 😃

Dave Nemetz • TVLine

Andre Braugher, Star of Homicide and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Dead at 61

This was devastating to me. I’ve liked Andre Braugher since I saw him for the first time on Homicide: Life on the Street. Such a loss.

RIP.

Raymond Chen • The Old New Thing

The x86 instruction set has an ENTER instruction which builds a stack frame. It is almost always used with a zero as the second parameter.

Raymond Chen is one of the best development reads in the world. He’s so smart and can write to boot. He also has great stories to share. I recommend you point your RSS reader at The Old New Thing at Microsoft and enjoy.

Jose Munoz

I’ve used RSS for news and blogs since Google Reader days. I go through my feeds with Reeder on my iPad mini every morning. It’s my favorite time of day. While I’ve been extremely happy for years with Reeder as my RSS reading app, I’ve faced issues with their Reeder Feeds iCloud service.

iCloud sync is a thorn in the side of almost every developer who uses it. It slow to sync and sometimes requires logging out entirely to get it to work. Little indie companies do a better job running services than Apple. Sure, sure, Apple are doing it at huge scale, but so do Amazon, Facebook, Microsoft, and Google and I don’t hear about issues like this as often.

It’s really too bad modern software has an expectation of a backing service to make it work properly because a backing service is super expensive to operate. I can’t provide my own sync because I can’t pay hundreds of dollars a month to run a sync service for Stream. I only make a few bucks a month on Stream. And by a few I mean less than $20/month. That’s OK because I chose to make a simple app that isn’t updated often and chose to give it away. But, I feel for those little undies who spend so much to keep services up and running only to just scrape by or lose money.

Chance Miller, Zac Hall, and Michael Potuck • 9to5Mac

Last week, Beeper Mini debuted as a way to bring iMessage to Android, without having to hand over your Apple ID credentials. A few days later, Apple made a change that stopped Beeper Mini from working – and it promised to continue doing so.

Not surprising.

<rob.crabapples.net/uploads/2…>

Sarah Perez • TechCrunch

U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) is throwing her weight behind Beeper, the app that allowed Android users to message iPhone users via iMessage, until Apple shut it down. Warren, an advocate for stricter antitrust enforcement, posted her support for Beeper on X (formerly Twitter) and questioned why Apple would restrict a competitor. The post indicates Apple’s move has now caught the attention of legislators, who are in a position to regulate Big Tech through policymaking.

Sorry, Senator. Goodness knows I love you, I really do, but I disagree with you on this. Apple is a publicly traded company who created a secure service for users of their devices. We pay for it with our purchase of Apple hardware and other services. It shouldn’t be seen as a free public utility.

The Beeper folks did an amazing job reverse engineering Messages so they could do what they did but it’s essentially hacking a service. Of course Apple is going to shut that down.

What should Apple do? That’s an easy answer for me. They should staff up an Android team and write a native Android app version of Messages. Then charge a monthly service fee for it. Problem solved! You’re welcome!

Something I often wonder. Are Apple’s services so bad/insecure that they mask it by not opening them up? I kind of doubt that but it always pops into my head when I read something about one of their services.

FeedLand

I am lobbying everyone I know to add great feed support to social media systems, so we can get out of the mode of dominant platforms before Threads becomes the dominant platform.

I must admit I didn’t understand what FeedLand is all about, but know I think I get it, maybe. 😃

Ultimately it’s an RSS aggregator. But I do get what Dave is trying to do beyond FeedLand.

Using RSS to follow a social site like Madtodon, Threads, or Bluesky would be amazing. RSS is mature, extensible, and stable.

I follow a few Mastodon feeds using Mastodon’s incredible RSS support, but it could go even further.

Imagine if all social networks supported RSS publishing. We could then use our reader of choice to casually browse our aggregated feeds. I know of a nice little iOS App that presents feeds as a timeline, check it out. 😃

Sorry, had to get that self plug in there.

What if social networks went the next step? What if I could set up a social network to read an RSS feed? Then I could write in one spot and publish to many/all using just RSS. That would be amazing.

To go one step further the social network could support weblog ping so the social network would know you’ve made an update.

Prior to social networks we had all of this in the blogging world. Dave Winer did all of it. He did RSS as well as weblogs ping. It worked really well. He even had Weblogs.com (don’t go there now, it’s a spammy site) which would display the latest sites with updates. If you’ve ever used Blo.gs you’ve seen weblog ping in action. You can even check out my ancient C++ command line implementation of weblog ping. 😂

Anyway. RSS in and out of social networks + weblog ping could be a nice open API for any social network without the need for someone to write code to call an API.

Alyssa Place • benefitnews.com

Employees' traditional view of retirement is changing. It’s time for employers to embrace that, too.

I asked WillowTree HR. A couple years back if we had any kind of plan for part time work and we don’t. I’d like to see that happen because, quite honestly, I can’t really retire. But I do hope to slow down when I hit 70 to enjoy what time I’ll have left, hopefully I live long enough to see a partial retirement.

I suspect the type of business we’re in doesn’t work well with part-time workers. It’s all about billing those hours, which is the worst possible business to be in.

Product and Services are still king. Anything you can upgrade and make money from while doing the next version is so much better than the hourly hamster wheel. 🐹

Robb Knight

Threads started to test ActivityPub integration this week and the fediverse is losing it’s collective mind going into overdrive to block them in any way possible so they can’t grab all your data. Here’s the fun part: they can already do that and they definitely don’t need ActivityPub to do that.

There has been a lot of fear surrounding Threads integrating ActivityPub. I had my doubts at one time but as long as they remain good citizens I don’t have a problem with it

Sarah Perez • TechCrunch

Despite delays, the plan to connect Tumblr’s blogging site to the wider world of decentralized social media, also known as the “fediverse,” is still on, it seems.

I think this is good news. Overall Tumblr feels like it fits into the Fediverse better than Wordpress and I hope they’re able to get it there.

Leo Laporte • twit.tv

Unfortunately, our medium, podcasting, has suffered economically since the beginning of Covid. As the number of podcasts grew exponentially, the number of advertisers dwindled, and with it, our revenue. At one time, we had as many as 30 people on the TWiT staff, not including show hosts, producing more than 30 unique shows. Today, the staff is half that size, and we produce half the number of shows.

Every indie podcast I listen to seems to be pushing subscriptions a lot harder than before. The entire market is in a downturn for free shows. Seeing TWiT layoff a bunch of longtime staff and cut shows is surprising and sad.

Mustapha Hamoui • platformer.news

Late Monday, the jury deliberating in Epic Games’ lawsuit against Google ruled in favor of the Fortnite developer. It found that Google harmed Epic by creating a monopoly in in-app billing and app distribution within the Android ecosystem, illegally tying the app store and its billing system together. A series of revenue-sharing deals with developers and device manufacturers were also found to harm competition.

I admit I don’t know how it is Google is found guilty of having an App Store monopoly and Apple isn’t. The law is strange and understanding eludes me at times.⚖️

Will Shanklin • Engadget

Etsy is the latest company to lay off staff in 2023. CEO Josh Silverman confirmed the marketplace is letting go of 11 percent of its staff (around 225 employees) in its first significant staffing cut in recent years. It’s also reshuffling its leadership, including announcing two executives’ departures at the beginning of 2024.

2023 has been such a crummy year in so many ways but all the tech layoffs scare the crap out of me. I still worry about being laid off and hope the new year doesn’t continue the trend we’ve seen in 2023. 😔

John Scalzi

Abandoning the Former Twitter: A Four-Week Check-In

I’m a fan of John Scalzi’s writing and have many of his book, most unread at the time of this publishing. Not only does he write books he also has a very active blog and social media presence. I loved following him on Twitter and now I love following him on Mastodon. You can too!

[voxxyboxxy]

Becoming a Priestess for Asmodeus | My Journey with Him

Table of Contents

I.Driving Factor

II.Processing

III.The Journey Itself

Driving Factor

My driving factor behind this post is to show the differences that can be held in Demon-based work, especially worship. I know my experience is not everyone’s, but it’s what I know. And I feel in a world where we don’t have many publicly out there resources, we kinda have to do it for ourselves. Now this will not be in great detail of the steps I took for this, and I do not wish to share them, but more so what my experience has been on this journey.

Things like hat I felt, how it went, the general timeline, small things I feel are no harm to share, and so on. This is in no way a full account of this experience. Please keep this in mind, and while questions are always welcome please understand I may not openly answer all of them, or in great detail.

Processing

This was very interesting to process. I didn’t know where to really begin with it either. I had been given a very big, and very important task. How would I go about it?

Of course I took the path with a lot to learn, but little resistance. I knew at that moment there’s a lot of stuff I’d have to step in blind, this was no different. It still had me thinking. “Am I good enough?” “Am I cut out for it?” It took a hot moment before I got used to the feeling of immense pressure on me. Then I realized it wasn’t pressure, it was just trust. I didn’t know trust could be so heavy until I felt the trust given to me for this task.

After the initial shock there was all of the learning I needed to do to properly play my new roll. Lord Asmodeus is one of the demons I had worshiped for a while, and my worship of him was always different than it was for others. I had always felt a strong connection with him, from day one. It took a while before I had realized I had subconsciously already accepted him as my Patron, and once I did I had officially declared him as such.

After debating the task, for much longer than I’d like to admit, I decided it was something I needed to step into. I was trusted to do so, a request was given, so I did. The only thing I really needed to process were the intense feelings of doubt in myself. Which washed away very quickly as I stepped in, and braced for the full impact of this role.

The Journey Itself

It started small, with me being actually a second hand person. My friend has started her journey with demons, and they had decided to “hang out” for a lack of better terms. First it started with Lord Beelzebub deciding the dead of winter was the perfect time to bring his flies, essentially scoping out my altar. Me asking him to please remove his flies from my abode was actually the start of my journey with demons, and communicating with them in anyway.

He had respected this, but had left me with one thing. Essentially an offer of working together. That had snowballed into other demons coming forward. Lord Asmodeus was one of them-and we did start off on the wrong foot as the general idea of Asmodeus being lust-and me being demisexual I didn’t think it was a good fit. Of course, this lead to a bit of offense for him-why would i reduce him to only one piece of himself? And I realized that Asmodeus did have a lot I could learn from. One being working on myself to feel better with myself. One of the biggest things being my internalized anger against the world, and the events of my life.

And we started working on them. Sound advice, and assurance came from him in abundance. My learning under him flourished. Like vines climbing an abandoned shed, I continued to grow with little interruptions.

I had continued like this for two years. And I felt something heavily missing from my life. I reached out for advice-I couldn’t figure it out, why was I suddenly feeling like I was separated from something I never had to begin with? At least-it felt that way. I had no idea what I needed. And that was when he prompted the thoughts. Further dedication. I couldn’t fathom how so, I had already declared him my Patron. Even jokingly said “how much more dedicated can I become without becoming a Priestess?”

And that’s when it clicked. I did not personally feel ready right away, I mean this was a thing much bigger than myself-how could I fill this role when it stood to have much more than I could ever give? It was a serious thing to me, and still is. It took a lot of assurance that this is what I was missing and what I needed to step into. There were many before me, and would be many after me. What harm could I do if I followed his lead? There wasn’t any. So I proceeded.

With this, as I learned and dove into my reading, I studied things outside just the general worship and history. And soon it was a set deal. I offered my dedication and worship as he had asked, and he filled the gap I was feeling. With this, I had also pledged myself as a form of god-spouse. It felt natural, if I wished to be a priestess I wanted to make sure I was offering true devotion. So, similar to a nun, I pledged this to so the devotion and dedication I was willing.

I know many still have confusion on hat a God-Spouses role is, but I always explain it as similar to being a nun. Spiritually, I am married to Asmodeus and offer that dedication to no one else. It is a marked that my devotion to him will run deeper than it does to others.

Many things here were not mentioned. A lot of the smaller details, how’s and why’s, are kept private. I feel the need to do so-and so I will. I understand this may be upsetting to some who are wanting to walk a similar path-but I have always expressed that much of my path is very private for me. All I ask is that you respect that, and that while questions are always welcome, my willingness to answer may vary.

[madchild-dennis]

As much as I've done all this:

I'm still considered insignificant to many.

So, if they continue, God will make sure the next time I swing my sling and I behead them with their own sword. It is seen by MANY more. Therefore changing me from insignificant to important/essential to MANY.

Maybe that is what's about to happen.

Why?

Because IT'S TIME.

(Hahaha, that was a cartoon I grew up on that depicted bible characters as vegetables without hands. This one depicted them right before JERICHO...and it connected to the "IT'S TIME!!!" Statement)

I know, I know.

To those who have been following for a while have seen me say that I say God has been saying "it's time". So it's hard to believe this one don't it.

Well outside of the signs I have that I know is apart of God indicating that I'll be travelling (assuming to Canada as shared with my close friends) VERY soon.

I also know this because of my current tiredness of Jamaican Cuisine, Patty and even KFC. I've had this before. But this was in 2020 & 2019 when I was in Jamaica. When I become tired of Jamaican food, it always happen a few weeks before something works out for me to head back to Canada. For the almost 2 years I've been here, I haven't been tired of the cuisine but curious, learning and enjoying it, until NOW. Like I seriously crave something different or the more authentic options I had in Canada.

But that's just my internal personal reason/evidence.

Let's talk about my Purpose or God's plan as me being Queen and how I KNOW it's time. To be Queen and truly be for the people. It has to be VERY OBVIOUS that I'm uncorruptible, unmanipultable, have integrity and truly led by God.

With time integrity, being guided by God and uncorruptiblity as been obvious, but being unmanipulatable hasn't been obvious. There are many who have integrity, uncorruptible and led by God BUT there's always SOMETHING, that is their weakness that can be used to manipulate them.

As much as I know I can't be swayed. The masses don't know. Because they could say I'll always forgive my parents (because they would) or weakened by who they have sex with/date/in a relationship with/marry (like them) or there is someone she always listen to. NOT ME!!!

In fact, God used flaws, issues or create situations to not just create assurance of this. It is to also assure, hinder or warn (before any fatal attempts) against trying to manipulate me into any decision (other than to follow God's plan/purpose or to do whatever benefits ALL affected persons).

So

My parents can't be a manipulative option because I wish they were dead and even if they fix up and do as God demands, they are NOTHING to me and will only redeem themselves through my children. And that's ONLY if they start with the children I plan to adopt.

Spouse...I have none. If it's the one I don't speak about. Obviously no matter what he or his mother does, once it's not what I ask. I could care less what he does (or they do). NO MATTER WHAT. And if he does what I ask, it is all structured in a way to develop trust and an unshakable unit that is to prioritize the union over EVERYTHING ELSE (other than God and oneself). Therefore not able to create a space for anyone to can manipulate anyone. Not even his own mother could be able to manipulate him or indirectly manipulate me or such. This is ONLY if he does as I ASK within the timeline asked. And OBVIOUSLY I am not settling for ANYTHING LESS, no matter what they try to do to avoid it or anyone else.

My Aunt is currently incapacitated due to illness. As much as I have love and respect for her and know she wouldn't stir me wrong, if she dare to manipulate me against God I will cut her off too. Plus people know I do ME, ONLY. NOT what others think I should do.

My siblings, have no sway on me. I've made it publicly CLEAR. Plus I have and will cut them off if they try. I've done it before.

Sex, loneliness and a desire for romance doesn't rule me. Therefore can't be used against me.

I'm not rules by money.

Food or gluttony is not an issue. I even eat what I dislike when I have to, due to the need for fuel.

Peer pressure never worked on me as obviously seen.

FEAR DOESN'T RULE ME.

It's clearly obviously,

I can't be MANIPULATED

That's after publicly sharing ALL I've been through.

Being that it's abundantly OBVIOUS, PUBLIC and tangible, and the people will see. They can see and freely choose to go with God's plan or the corrupt politician's plan.

To choose between

The lady who rather do crazy things in the name of God while, protected, provided for and seem to care. So crown her Queen as God says

Or

Choose to blindly trust the Prime Minister, Government and system that I CLEARLY flawed and corrupt. To choose a President as Head of State that is to benefit the Government (as the opposition leader said) which clearly doesn't prioritize the people.

[cherryistired]

This thing has taken up the majority of my time for the past month. Meet CheeryBot, a little ghost who believes in you and cheers you on while you work on your computer! Or while you mess around on it or whatever.

What’s a Ghost? A ghost (also called an Ukagaka or Nanika) is a little desktop character that you can interact with. If you know what a shimeji is, a ghost is similar, but they don’t duplicate and can have more complexity and interactivity.

Features:

She’ll randomly say things as she sits on your desktop. Most of her dialogue are things like asking about your day and cheering you on while you work. As you interact with her, she might start saying more or different things! You can change how often she talks (or make her keep quiet) in her config menu.

She has sound effects! You can toggle them in her config menu. “On” means she’ll always have sound effects, “Less” means she’ll only make sounds when you interact with her, and “Off” turns off sound effects completely.

If you move your mouse back and forth on the top of her head, you can pet her! You can also double-click the top of her head. Double-clicking on other parts of her face pokes her, though, so be careful! Double-clicking her body will bring up her menu.

Cheery has a number of menus where you can tell her how you’re feeling, how your day has been, and what you’ve done that day. She’ll remember what you tell her, and she might bring it up later! There are some option within those menus that will appear and disappear as you interact with her as well.

All of her advice is fairly temporary - I’ll be adding different lines and reword the current ones in the future. Also, the different options are bound to change/expand too, as I come up with more things she can give advice on.

Cheery comes with two different shells, which is basically her “skin” or how she appears. She’s got her default shell and a shell that puts a pink outline around her, in case you have a dark background! You can change her shell from both her right-click and her config menus.

Installation instructions and download links are under the cut.

First you need to download SSP. That’s the program that will run ghosts. There’s a few others out there, but CheeryBot was built to run on that one (as are most english ghosts). If you’ve already got that downloaded, then you’ve already probably skipped down to the download links. If you don’t, though, you can get SSP here. The site’s in japanese, but you just need to click the button on the left that says “install complete package”. Once the file is downloaded, run it and it’ll install SSP on it’s own!

NOTE: SSP is a windows program. If you don’t have windows, you’ll need to do a little more work. To get SSP working, check out this site for some options. (The site itself is about programming ghosts, but that page has some stuff for running SSP/windows programs on another OS in the third paragraph.)

Once you’ve installed SSP, download Cheery’s files. The .nar file is the compressed folder for Cheery herself, and the zip file is her balloon, or her speech bubble.

cheerybot.nar / Mediafire

balloon.zip  / Mediafire

Don’t unzip either of the files yet! Start up SSP (if you haven’t already). There will be this weird catgirl speaking japanese, just hold down ctrl to go through all her dialogue. She’ll open a config menu, which you can mess with if you want, but you don’t have to.

Drop the .zip file and the .nar file on the catgirl’s face. She should install both of those automatically.

Once they’re done installing, right-click the catgirl, go to “Change Ghost”, and select “CheeryBot”. (If the right-click menu is in Japanese, go to the fourth option from the bottom, select english, then close and reopen the catgirl. The right-click menu should now be japanese.)

Have fun with CheeryBot!

If you have any comments or suggestions, or you run into any bugs, drop by my inbox and let me know!

Credits: @zarla-s is honestly my biggest inspiration for making CheeryBot. I found out about ghosts from her and used her ghost template to make mine. I also used one of her balloons as a base for Cheery's balloon. She's been a big help with figuring out how to get Cheery to do certain things and not bug out on me. You can get zar's ghost template here and take a look at the balloon I used as a base here. (Also download the ghost that it was made for too, because he's awesome) Everyone in the discord group is amazing, but I’m gonna credit @excellynt​ specifically for both creating the discord group and for their MV Sans ghost. While I didn't use any direct coding from MV Sans, his self-care menu is what inspired CheeryBot to be the way she is. Also, some of her dialogue is worded pretty similarly to his haha. As far as I can tell, there's a string of Sanses that the self-care menu comes from, but they're all properly credited in MV Sans's download page. (Also download MV Sans because cel has put a skele-TON of work into him and he's an amazing ghost) The Ukagaka Dream Team discord group (the one made by excel that I mentioned above) was also a big help in getting me to bring Cheery to this point. From helping bug-test to offering support and ideas, these guys are all-around amazing. If you're at all interested in ghosts or developing your own ghost, please join!

[drougnor]

Vague-blogging ahoy!!

Yeah, I know, vague-blogging is such the evil nasty and threatening thing to do these days, innit?  Not giving any incriminating details out that link to the people perpetrating the 'wrong-doings’ yet seeing a vast rippling of responses in return that just . . . scream out loud to me and others about how guilty they are feeling.  But vague-blogging also doesn’t give out anyone’s personal information in any way that is threatening or damaging. If it does, it’s not vague.  Unlike what I’ve seen on other remaining unnamed blogs in the last couple of days.

My name. My wife’s name. My MINOR CHILD’S legal deadname first name initial have been publicly shared in order to intimidate, incriminate and to cause emotional distress.  Now, I understand that my mate and I put ourselves out in public to a degree, her by her authorship, myself through other online means, but the children are not. Nor should they be. Esp since the reference is to a deadname and incorrect gender that, frankly, WAS made public knowledge by myself and wife many times. But also, there’s a lot of significant emotional distress that’s been happening in our household as a result of what’s been going on these last few weeks.  Because of direct actionable information that’s being presented about our household online.

Why am I saying all this? https://www.hg.org/legal-articles/florida-s-cyberstalking-laws-30173 Particularly - “While the Internet, email, smartphones, and the widespread usage of social media sites have improved our lives in many ways, they have also unfortunately become the breeding grounds for new types of crime. In Florida, as well as many other jurisdictions, reports of cyberstalking have grown exponentially in recent years. You may have heard people, or even yourself, say things along the lines of, “my girlfriend broke up with me, but I still stalk her and her new guy on Facebook and Twitter.” But at what point does such online activity amount to criminal cyberstalking? Well, pursuant to Florida Statute §784.048 (1)(d), “Cyberstalk means to engage in a course of conduct to communicate, or to cause to be communicated, words, images, or language by or through the use of electronic mail or electronic communication, directed at a specific person, causing substantial emotional distress to that person and serving no legitimate purpose.” Cyberstalking can involve communications over the Internet and electronic communication forms including, but not limited to: email, instant messages, text messaging, blog, website or online forum postings, and communication on social media sites (e.g. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc.). While Florida law has not specifically defined the phrase “substantial emotional distress,” other courts have interpreted that same language to mean, “the offending conduct must be such as would produce a considerable or significant amount of emotional distress in a reasonable person; something markedly greater than the level of uneasiness, nervousness, unhappiness or the like which are commonly experienced in day to day living.” Wallace v. Van Pelt¸ 969 S.W.2d 380, 386 (Mo. Ct. App. 1998). “

[dreme-inc]

Can I please have a preference for Stan, Kyle, Wendy, Bebe and Kenny with a tomboy fem S/O with short hair and wears vintage suits, newsboy hats, vintage casual clothes and sometimes steals the characters clothes but she still wears lipgloss,lipbalm and lipstick? Please tell me if

a/n: It's slightly broadened, but I put little tidbits on some specifics ^^ The vintage style is cool, no explicit gender necessarily, and please forgive. It's tougher finding inspiration... please, enjoy though!

V I N T A G E A N D T I M E L E S S ⟻

They're each very encouraging, to start. The vintage fashion is intriguing to them and they'd love to run their hands through your hair if you'd let them <3

⟼ S T A N L E Y

The raven's someone who doesn't broaden what they personally wear too much because he believes others can pull off styles he couldn't, I think. Since being with you however, you're a good inspiration, and he tries to be more daring with his own style and occasionally wears your hats.

I dunno if getting self-conscious about it is something, but there's a knight in shining armor.

Often says to others, "Don't be angry because they dress better than you."

Often says to you something like, "I really like your coat today. It's like you're an agent or something. It's cool."

+ If you're more athletic, then he's either cheering for you or wants to play depending on the event. It's noted you're an especially good team together and people like playing with you guys since you're both good sports about everything.

+ If you're more homey, he's definitely cool with it, too. He could be the boyfriend and best friend sort if it suits you, whether you were friends prior or not. Can truly appreciate a day indoors and often offers to play video games.

⟼ K Y L E

It resonates with the redhead one of the best compared to the others, I think. He's often said he's not born what he seems to be, and if it's a common reason behind why you wear what you do, then birds of a feather. The both of you get close quite quickly because of it.

If not, it's still cool. He's been in South Park so long, and despite the four's adventures, he hadn't ever met someone in a sense like yours.

He'd likely tease, only a little. It was like finding a time capsule in this old town. Tries noticing when you wear new pieces and be the first complimenting it, and usually is.

+ If you're athletic, it suits him. Dates could consist of sports games if you were interested. Quick to defend you and what you can do to anyone doubting your abilities, with a dusty blush as he can admit to knowing firsthand as one of your most supportive cheerleaders. He's so proud of you.

+ If you're more homey, then you're aware this boy hopes you like books. No matter what though, he honestly cherishes any time with you because he's finally found someone to sit with, and he won't ever take it lightly.

⟼ W E N D Y

It is super neat to her. Probably instigates the clothes stealing herself on you, and wears it as great as you do.

The most willing to wear the fashion publicly. If you're cool with it, sometimes you'd wear an entire outfit of hers and she'd wear one of yours meanwhile. It's adorable.

Number one cheerleader in supporting the person you are, no matter the personality, as you do the same for her.

+ If you're adventurous, the raven meshes really well with said personality. She's holding your hand as you maybe jump into lakes, maybe sneak around, or anything else you'd like. She believes she is very lucky with someone like you.

+ If you're a prankster, you two pretend to be one another and you'll both hide your hair in your hats so no matter the hair color :) It's especially hilarious if you guys don't have the same complexion. Everyone loves it.

+ Ah, and she especially likes any short hair. It contrasts with her longer hairstyle, and you'll brush one another if it suits you.

⟼ B A R B A R A

Shopping! Goes shopping with you and buys perfect pieces. And times, she'll go alone finding you gifts. She thinks it's cool picturing vintage, and it makes her happy making you smile.

If you're into it, she'd want fashion tips :) "Should I wear the jacket or the cardigan with my outfit?"

The blonde'll wear your clothes if it'd make you happy, for sure, but only if you said so. Otherwise she'd be encouraged when she sees you to be more bold, like Stan, but with her own closet.

Open to dressing up with you around the house, and a common occurrence is having fun, laughing and kissing in its midst.

+ She's a huge fan of the lipsticks, glosses, and balms. I am unsure if it's something people do, but she'll share with you if you'd like. Wears what you prefer and tells you her favorites of yours, willing to play the guess the gloss flavor if it's interesting to you, too.

⟼ K E N N E T H

Likely brags to everyone, haha.

"Have you met them? Yeah, they're the one with the cool fashion sense."

Currently saving money to buy you a nice clothing piece or accessory: something long-lasting and pairs well with a bunch of your outfits.

Sways between corny and smooth, absolutely nothing else.

Sometimes he'll go, "there's my aviator."

On others, "hello, adventurer. Anything exciting today?"

Once, he surprised you, wearing a matching outfit. And you guys went walking somewhere like downtown or a party -whichever suits your fancy- and were the talk of the small town for a while. It was a real hit with everyone.

+ Definitely a little thirst from the lip accessories. The blond loves stuff on your lips, especially his lips??? I think he's got the knowledge on putting it on you and is tempted to kiss you every time.