#who vouched for him??? sasuke???

[keepyourpantsongohan]

What do you think of Kabuto's redemption arc? I feel like given the backstory he was given via the flashbacks in the War Arc, the dude deserved to get a happy life, but at the same time there should have been more buildup about there being some good in him. But I'm interested to know what you think.

Quite honestly, and this isn't going to be the most measured or thoughtful response, I think it's cuckoo bananas that they resolved his arc that way! Sasuke gets an international hit put out on him for trying to kill ONE guy (Bee). The Raikage's brother, but one guy!

40,000 people die in first day the Fourth Shinobi War across all five villages and the samurai, and Kabuto is the only living person responsible. Don't get me wrong, Obito did a lot of it too, but he isn't around to take responsbility for it. So they have this one guy, who resurrected their loved ones and leaders to kill them, resurrected Madara who did a lot of the destruction and Infinite Tsukuyomi first-hand, and who siphoned Yamato's mokuton to reinforce the Zetsu clones, which were the vast majority of the opposing forces. They have literally no one else living that they can blame for this situation. They kill people for just leaving their village, in this society.

And they're like, "It's fine, Itachi had a really good talk with him, and now he's an excellent childcare worker." WHAT. WHAT?

[oh-no-its-bird]

Speaking about au crossovers, suddenly absoloutley infected w the idea of a team ro time travel au + the team ro defects from Konoha to join sound au mashup

So many time travel to the warring state aus hit the beats of "oh yeah were from the future village u made, which btw is awesome" but what happens when that diverse team of clans, that team of mismatched uchiha/hatake/suspected senju that people of the time gape at seeing work so smoothly together, instead of vouching for the village condemn it?

But there's also an added layer of like— some of these characters still care about the village. Honestly all of team ro does on some level.

Itachi and Shisui are still village loyalists, just forced to leave for their own self preservation when Danzo would have them killed

Tenzo is still struggling with his own brainwashing and even tho he may have chosen the team and his friends over konoha, he still has that "you live for the village you die for the village" mentality implanted deep in his heart. He may actually try to compensate for it by being vocally against konoha when given the opportunity (lying to himself ab it)

Kakashi is complicated. He's probably the one among them who it can truly be said is against konoha— for a refresher on the detector au, he left after finding out Danzo had his father killed, then walked in on him trying to kill Shisui + this was around the time where Danzo was trying to get him to kill Sarutobi (and he was straight up willing to do it too) so there's a LOT going on in that head of his. I think he considers Konoha to be it's people— and unfortunatley he has very little people left there to truly care about. Doubly unfortunatley (for Konoha) a chunk of the people he finds himself willing to "allow" himself to care for have also come with him in this defection. So.

It's complicated.

Anyways, all of this is to say is that these guys have some seriously complex thoughts on Konoha and whether it's truly "good" or not, and I think that'd make for an interesting read when they eventually meet the founders

Also like. There's a pretty heavy Uchiha bias among them, let's be real.

Tenzo may have the Mokuton and may or may not be some sort of Senju bastard, but his education wasn't shit. He has absoloutley no opinions on the Senju in general but his only friends in the entire world are 2/3rd uchiha, so.

Shisui and Itachi are literally Uchiha. Itachi is the fucking clan heir. I don't even need to elaborate.

Kakashi is the only one who could claim to be any sort of neutral (hes even distantly related to Tobirama, though he doesnt even know it) but it was also established in the detector au that he has some sort of positive relation to Mikoto. I like to HC that Tsunade was a good friend of his father and even babysat him when he was younger tho, so there's that. But like. Still. There is a much bigger Uchiha influence on (literally his entire) life than Senju.

Anyways I don't really have any specific thoughts for this one? They don't have the same konoha loyal motivations as the original team ro time travel au, but they also don't have any motivations to like, STOP the founding of Konoha itself. They're smart enough to recognize it was a net positive for all of shinobi kind. But they don't wanna be involved.

If Orochimaru came with them maybe they can try to create sound way back when? That could be cool

Call up the Hatake and the Orochi of the warring states and see if we can make a new first ever shinobi village with a different image in mind

Fucking Orochimaru headed medical revolution 100 years earlier than it has any buisness being ,,,

Mmm this is just making me think ab an Orochimaru time travel fic actually and that's not what I want with this specific thing so let's shelve that for later maybe

But like. Team Ro time travels to the warring states but it's the team Ro that defected from Konoha

OH FUCK THAT MEANS SASUKE IS WITH THEM TOO

Rip Sasuke, my favorite little Izuna look alike. He's like 8 and the second any Uchiha see him they're going to have a stroke and go tell Madara and Izuna they might have stumbled upon something seriously sinister

Oops <3

[mixelation]

"I wish you would write a fic where" Karin ends up in the Founders era (location up to you) and causes Problems

"I wish you would write a fic where..."

Okay, bullet point fic:

Karin is like 20-22. slightly matured from canon but still Silly, has confronted the fact that sasuke and her aren't going to happen, and looking for fun new employment opportunities but for now stuck in mom's basement oto

[insert generic jutsu accident for time travel]

karin doesn't know what the fuck is happening but she's 1000% sure there's not a chakra signature she knows and also there's no.... plumbing. is this hell? she hasn't done anything wrong in her LIFE

she goes to bother the uchiha clan because Beautiful Men. duh. also blah blah old school social rules about hospitality mean that big clans will take on unaffiliated wandering-nin. like in an old novel. what the fuck

it HAS occurred to her she could go to uzushio and claim she's a bastard or something and they'd probably take her in-- but that's far away and she'd have to dodge through multiple battle zones and like. what if she took a break and looked at pretty men? there's so many of them. *-*

hashirama and madara are both young sexy new clan leaders and the clans are at a temporary standstill while they try to negotiate an actual peace agreement and also maybe. a union? into a village? where they invite OTHER clans????

madara is experiencing Insane Feelings about hashirama 24/7 which range from "i should put his head on a pike because this is STUPID" to "if only he were a woman and then we could just unify our clans by getting married--"

anyway hashirama announces he's engaged to uzumaki mito and this triggers Extreme Jealousy in Madara except Madara will never admit this but also HE MUST MAKE HASHIRAMA JEALOUS BACK

madara and karin have had like three conversations but she dedicates a lot of time mooning over izuna because Duh. so like. madara's seen her scuttling around, fluttering her eyelashes and just HAPPENING to be there when izuna comes home or comes out of the bathhouse. he knows she's uzumaki because Hair.

anyway madara announces he is now engaged to karin in an insane LOOK I'VE GOT ONE TOO move. no he hasn't talked to anyone about it, least of all karin

(mito: uzumaki w h o m s t?)

all of the uchiha elders are like, "it's not an alliance unless we've actually TALKED TO her family??" and when pressed karin deflects by throwing a fit that she can't be engaged to izuna. it's mostly her playing up dramatics to distract from the fact that she came out of nowhere and no one can vouch for her identity, but also she's like 20% serious. izuna pretty!!!

here i also want to introduce a plot mechanism we'll revisit later, where uchiha engagement rituals involve one or both sides (non-ninja don't have to do this) going out and completing some sort of task to show off their ninja prowess. in peacetimes it's usually like grabbing an object from a difficult location or bringing home a very deadly animal. during wartimes it might be killing an enemy or stealing something from them. the more insane the thing, the more fortuitous it is for the future marriage

madara hasn't ACTUALLY done this because he doesn't ACTUALLY want to marry karin. he gives her something stupid he already has and she's like. kind of annoyed about it. hello if you're forcing her into engagement, at LEAST be romantic about it!!!!

anyway the surprise engagement doesn't phase hashirama and now madara is stuck engaged to someone he doesn't even LIKE and the uzumaki are confused but there's a bunch around for mito's wedding and so they're like "idk who this is but she's obviously one of us" and so madara has created a stupid situation where he'll offend them if he breaks off the engagement but also she's not actually important to them and therefore isn't politically useful??

also. and madara cannot stress this enough. she's horrible. she acts like a ditzy flirt on purpose but then turns around and is MEAN TO HIM and she talks back and stop looking at his brother like that

here is my vision for how they resolve the stupid situation. okay. madara is like "you have to give me a Reason to break up with you" and karin is like "okay but only if you let me marry izuna" and madara goes away and sets several things on fire and then comes back and is like. fine. if you do this, AND you can get izuna to agree, i'll let you marry him.

karin cracks her knuckles and reviews the oto playbook of how to be the most dramatic bitch in the room. it will be really hard to outshine madara, but she was trained by orochimaru himself--

here is the vision. karin, standing on the back of the kyuubi, using her chains like reigns, crashing the hashirama-mito wedding

karin: IS THIS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR STUPID UCHIHA ENGAGEMENT RITUALS???

karin can't actually control the kyuubi with her chains, so all hell breaks loose immediately. madara and hashirama can both individually take the kyuubi so no one actually gets hurt, mito seal it into herself a decade early, etc. overall the senju-uzumaki guests are freaked out but hashirama laughs it off as a weird wedding gift. karin is 100% sure that if madara were like "she's a lunatic, take her back" then the uzumaki clan would accept. maybe she can hitch a ride back to uzushio. she never got izuna to fall madly in love with her but maybe madara will let her take him with her--

unfortunately now the uchiha elders are like. holy shit. you H A V E to marry her now

[mayora97]

Hot take: the real reason the 3rd hokage teamed up Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi is so Sasuke would master his sharingan and take control of Kurama.

There was never any expectation for Naruto to control the nine tails chakra, or they would have spent some time training or preparing him before Naruto (by sheer coincidence and through his own insistance, cause his teacher was prioritizing Sasuke) stumbled onto Jiraiya.

- Naruto only finding out he's a Jinchuriki by complete accident, cause the Hokage forbade anyone to tell him

- Naruto finding out in a totally unforseen event by his father that Kurama being placed in him was supposed to make him a hero, and not as a curse or punishment like he was always lead to believe

Naruto was only ever meant to be the vessel. Should he lose the reigns on Kurama or not cooperate with the leaf, then Sasuke can just take over.

Kakashi was the only one who could teach Sasuke how to use the sharingan, which is why he was specifically assigned to this team.

Even hotter take: Itachi explicitly instructed Sasuke to kill his best friend in order to activate the mangekyou sharingan and face him. Which would have inevitably been one of Sasuke's teammates, as this boy was left with nothing else.

The third hokage (Danzo and the elders by proxy, cause the old man can't make a decision by himself clearly) definitely knows this. He definitely knows how the sharingan works and how it elevates through extreme emotion, more often by killing a loved one.

Naruto was set up like a pig for slaughter. If it wasn't for Sasuke himself refusing to follow in his brother's footsteps and removing himself from the influence of the leaf village, that would have been the path we ended up facing. If it wasn't for Jiraiya, Naruto would never have begun to access his or Kurama's chakra and just ended up swallowed up by it when he inevitably and unknowingly lost control like with Haku. If it wasn't for Tsunade banging on desks and vouching for Naruto, he would've been locked inside the leaf out of 'protection' from the Akatsuki. If it wasn't for Naruto proving his worth and proving himself indispensible it absolutely would've been Danzo taking over Sasuke's place in controling the nine-tails as soon as his eyes opened.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Ok so it’s early and i’m tired (and supposed to be working out) but i’m also sick of fandom’s bs

This is only from the first nine books, which make it obvious a lot of training has been outright skipped in Favour of ‘more interesting plot’

But

Kakashi clearly understands Sasuke to a certain degree and knowing when to vouch for him (like against Anko wanting to just pull Sasuke.) and when he needs to tell Sasuke ‘if shit goes wrong i’m stepping in’

He knows when Sasuke needs someone to tell him ‘i will protect you’

He can see when Sasuke is bursting with energy and needs to let it out

He knows when to draw the line with Sasuke, telling him ‘no we cannot wait any longer we are dealing with the issue NOW’

Can see’s Ino and Sakura figut once and can tell Sakura was driven by her rivalry with Ino and wouldn’t lose easily

He praises Sakura’s skill to others, openly.

He doesn’t just call Naruto a ‘knucklehead’ he also calls him an ultimate maverick and ‘my little practical joker’ showing how much he believes in naruto

Speaking if beliving in Naruto. When everyone thought Kiba had one shot Naruto Sakura looked at her sensei, saw him smile, and knew right away Naruto was not down and out like everyone thought. Kakashi exudes confidence in his students

Like, we have actively skipped 90% of the actual training but it’s clear Kakashi is a good teacher who understands his students and supports every single one of them without restraint, but also knows when he needs to put his foot down and push an issue

[greatideas-badwriter]

SasuSaku: Sacrificed To The Banished Prince Ch. 18

“And you’re sure there will be no side effects?” Sasuke asked Itachi and the investigator he’d brought along with him. 

They’d arrived days earlier than expected, interrupting Sakura’s fitting. He wished he could’ve stayed with her. Ino was ready to defend his fiance with her life, though, so he wasn’t as concerned as he’d be if she were alone with that perverted tailor. Shortly after their arrival, Sasuke was  informed the investigator, an incredibly large and muscular man named Kisame, intended to use magic to search Sakura’s memories and identify the person responsible for her attack. 

‘I’m surprised Madara sent such a high-ranking knight. He must actually care for Sakura’s well-being. I thought it was all an act. Perhaps it is, and he has another reason for sending them here.’ 

Only the best of the best are able to use magic, and even then, it was rare for it to be performed for any reason outside war and directly assisting the crown. Since he’d been banished for so long, Sasuke assumed he wasn’t truly considered part of the royal family anymore. He didn’t allow himself to feel touched by the gesture because he didn’t trust Madara after all he’d done. 

“There may be some mental distress. She’ll experience the memories as I do, so whatever trauma she’s suffered, it will be as though it’s happening again,” Itachi explained, sharing a look with Kisame. Sasuke pictured the withdrawn and terrified Sakura he’d witnessed for days after her assault and gritted his teeth, ‘I want to avenge her, but is it worth it to force her to repeat what happened?’ 

Itachi picked up on his younger brother’s hesitance, “Why don’t we speak with her first? Maybe she’ll be able to give us details she forgot to mention before since some time has passed and she’s calmed.” 

Sasuke didn’t see much issue with that but eyed the imposing knight. He was unfamiliar with Kisame. Even if Itachi vouched for him, it did little to ease his hesitance. “You don’t do anything unless I’m present. Understood?” The duo shared another look before nodding to the second prince. 

“Shall we visit my soon-to-be little sister, then?” Itachi asked. 

The three men leave Sasuke’s office and trek to the dressing room, only to find it empty. Sasuke stood there with wide eyes, ‘The fitting is over already? Then where-’ “Ah, My Lord! I was just about to serve tea to Lady Haruno and her brother. Would you like to join them?” Ino asked, appearing with a large tray of tea, cups, and cookies. 

‘Her brother is here?’ The prince nodded, gesturing for her to lead the way. Behind him, the two visitors from the capitol remained silent. 

When they arrived at the tea room, Sasuke didn’t bother knocking and entered the door. Sakura’s eyes were wide and watery as they met his. His teeth gritted as he averted his glare to the pest sitting across from her: Hihara. 

‘She’s obviously uncomfortable around him. What terrible things did he say to upset her?’ 

Feeling angry and protective, he crossed the room, sparing his fiance a glance as she rose to stand, obviously nervous. “Does the Haruno family not believe in the courtesy of sending a letter prior to visiting?” 

Hihara’s eyes narrowed, but he bowed and said, “My apologies. Our family was so concerned upon receiving your letter that I couldn’t bear to waste another second without verifying her well-being with my own eyes.” 

Itachi shared a look with Sasuke before interrupting, “It’s an honor to meet you again so soon. You’ll be pleased to hear we’ve arrived to investigate your sister’s attack.” He gestured toward Kisame, who bowed but remained silent, “The king has sent one of our best knights to personally oversee things. We won’t rest until the culprit has been brought to justice.” 

Hihara’s mouth opened as though he would respond, but the entire room became stunned when Sakura suddenly cut in, “Please call off the investigation.” The Uchiha man looked at his fiance in disbelief. She shyly grabbed onto his shirt with a trembling hand, voice unsteady, “I-I just want to put this all behind me.” 

He couldn’t believe it. He was awe-stricken to the point that he could only stare at her. 

‘What in the world…. She doesn’t want the man who hurt her to be punished? It makes no sense!’ 

Sakura’s grip tightened. Her teary eyes searched his, “Please….” 

Sasuke couldn’t do it. He couldn’t tell the traumatized woman no, not when she was all but begging him, not to mention in front of others. He also couldn’t just give up, though, so he nodded. Hesitantly, he rested a hand atop hers, the one clutching the shirt near his hip, “Only for today. We need to speak privately about this.” 

So, he instructed Ino and Sai to entertain the guests while he guided his fiance upstairs to his office. It was silent as he turned to lean against the desk with crossed arms. He looked at the visibly nervous woman avoiding his gaze, unsure of how to proceed. ‘One wrong step and she’ll fall back into that depressive state, but I can’t…. I can’t say the wrong thing. I have to convince her to let me do this.’ 

It was selfish, yes, but he wasn’t even considering giving up on the investigation. No, he had to know who was to blame, or else he’d forever feel this mind-boggling guilt. 

Eventually, he took a long, deep breath before starting the conversation neither of them wanted to have, “Why?” 

Sakura clasped her hands together in front of her, an ashamed look on her pretty features, “I already told you. I want to move on, and I can’t do that if everyone is focused on what happened all the time.” 

‘...She can’t meet my eye,’ he realized, his teeth gritting together as the woman squirmed before him, ‘She’s hiding something, maybe even outright lying to me.’ 

He took his time pondering a response. Absently he looked over to see that the sun was about to begin setting. If he was going to find something resembling a solution today, he had to do it quickly. Urged by the time constraint, he uncrossed his arms, entirely uncomfortable with his own approach, “You needn’t feel ashamed, Sakura. If you’d rather just speak with me, or even your maid, we can do that. The others don’t have to be involved.” Inwardly, he was a little proud of himself for speaking clearly. This entire conversation was something he never thought he’d take part in. 

Alas, the woman didn’t respond as he hoped. She shook her head, her tears finally overflowing. He watched as she shakily wiped at them, sniffling quietly, “I can’t, Sasuke. I really can’t. Please don’t make me.” 

Sasuke’s resolve cracked. Then, it crumbled. A terrible sensation met his chest at the sight of his fiance so broken, especially when it felt it was completely his fault. 

‘When did I become so affected by such things?’ he wondered, biting back a sigh to not upset her further. 

Almost awkwardly, he held out a hand. The woman blinked, still sniffling, upon noticing. She accepted it after a moment, her smaller hand nearly akin to a child's in his. Then, it was as though his body naturally knew what to do. Sasuke gently pulled her closer. Either she was humoring him or genuinely felt comforted by the gesture because her arms wrapped around his middle, and she whispered words of thanks into his shirt while attempting to calm herself. 

He wrapped one arm around her, the other hand coming to the back of her head so she’d stay where she was. 

Sasuke rested his chin atop her head, finally allowing the sigh to pass his lips. Soon, Sakura was calmed enough to return to her room, where the maid Ino was ready to distract her from the guests. The prince, on the other hand, entered the tea room to see Hihara, Itachi, and Kisame silently sipping tea, Sai standing near the door to keep an eye on things. The butler gave his boss a particular look that said it’d been quiet the entire time he was gone. 

“How is she?” Itachi asked as Sasuke took a seat beside Hihara, the only one available at the table. 

He curtly nodded, sparing the redheaded Haruno man a brief glare, “Upset. She’s resting.” 

“Were you able to convince her to continue the investigation?” Hihara asked. The other three turned their gazes onto him, and he straightened his spine while defending himself, “She’s my sister. I have a right to know about her well-being.” 

Clearing his throat, Sasuke shook his head, “She’s adamant that she wants to put this behind her. I couldn’t talk her out of it.” 

Hihara laughed, earning irritated glances from the others, “Sakura’s being stubborn? I’ve never witnessed such a thing in my life.” 

The pinkette’s fiancee opened his mouth to bark a retort at the annoying man, only for Kisame to suddenly speak, “Experiencing severe trauma has the ability to alter people’s sense of self. She must be too afraid at the moment to confront it.” 

The room became quiet as they pondered the poor woman. A sharp pain shot up Sasuke’s neck from the curse’s tattoo, and he naturally brought a hand to it with a wince. 

Understanding met Itachi’s face, and he gestured for Sai, “Show Lord Haruno to a room for the evening, please.” The butler nodded, bowing politely before guiding the confused redhead from the tearoom. 

Once the door was shut, Kisame rose to lock it, and the first Uchiha prince moved to stand against the wall with crossed arms, watching his little brother struggle to remain silent amidst the shift. 

“...Thank….you…” Sasuke managed. 

“Should we restrain The Curse?” Kisame asked. 

“Our agreement still stands,” he forced out, a hand clutching his chest as though he couldn’t breathe, “He won’t cause too much trouble so long as he can see Sakura.” 

Itachi and the knight shared a surprised look, the former asking, “He wasn’t the one who-” “No!” Sasuke interrupted, feeling the demon’s rage explode inside him in response to the accusation. 

Then. it was Akuma standing there and no longer the prince. Catching his breath, he held the first prince’s gaze with a frown. ‘They’re here to identify my prey.’ 

Slow and deliberate, his glowing gaze turned onto the large knight by the door, his teeth curling back to reveal his sharpened canines, “You’ll lend me your mana so I can do the memory spell.” Kisame’s eyes widened before turning to Itachi and gauging his response. “Don’t look at your master, Dog! You answer to me until I say otherwise!” 

Itachi’s arms uncrossed, a serious glint in his dark eyes, “She said to cancel the investigation.” Akuma was before him in a flash with a handful of his shirt in his fist as he all but spat in his face, “And I said to aid me anyway!” 

He’d had enough of waiting around and watching his sacrifice struggle to deal with everyday life. He wanted back who she was before. If he couldn’t have that, the next best thing was to torture and destroy the person responsible for ruining his fun. The demon was no longer interested in playing nice. 

To his surprise, the Uchiha man curtly nodded, admitting quietly, “If it’s you, then she won’t blame Sasuke for breaking a promise.” He turned to Kisame and said, “Do as he says. I’ll take responsibility when the king finds out.” 

So, the trio sat down so Kisame could explain some details of the process. “It will be as though you are personally experiencing what occurred. You’ll feel, taste, hear, see, and smell everything.” 

“Spare me the warnings. I’m familiar with spells similar to this one.” 

Half an hour later, the trio ascended the stairs to the second floor. It was nighttime, but Sakura wasn’t asleep. Ino opened the door, took one look at each of the men’s faces, and nodded before excusing herself with a quiet apology toward her pink-haired friend. 

Sakura rose from the bed with a suspicious face, “What’s going on…?” She asked. 

Akuma spoke as calmly as possible in his enraged state, “Sit.” 

She obeyed but also seemed to be piecing together the situation. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at Itachi and Kisame before meeting the demon’s gaze again and whispering, “Please don’t do this.” 

“Come near us, and I’ll behead you both,” Akuma warned the two capital men. 

Kisame performed the spell necessary to lend him his mana, and when he felt the power flood his veins, he knelt before the pinkette. She was positively trembling from head to toe. A tiny bit of guilt met his chest as he cautiously pressed his torso between her legs as she sat on the edge of the bed, ‘I don’t care how much she hates me after this. I have to know who did it.’ 

In an effort to bring her even the tiniest bit of comfort, he interlaced their fingers on both hands, speaking firmly so she wouldn’t dare try to run, “Don’t disobey me.” Before Sakura could respond, he did it. He cast the spell while pressing his forehead to hers. 

Instantly, Akuma felt something he’d only ever felt in the presence of the leader of Hell: complete and utter terror. His vision was too blurry because of the tears to make out anything solid, but he didn’t need to see to know what was happening. He could feel it: the confusion, the fear, the pain. 

He could hear Sakura’s muffled sobs as though they were leaving his own mouth. He could taste the cotton of the cloth in her mouth as she tried and failed to spit it out and scream. 

The demon was scared. He was scared of what he was feeling, but more than anything, he was afraid Sakura would never recover from something this awful. He’d underestimated how horrible such a thing could be. He was disgusted with himself for the times in the past he’d done this to the helpless souls in purgatory. He was also angry that he felt that way because he was supposed to be a demon and not care about trivial things like human emotions. 

Suddenly a voice met his ears. It was familiar. “This is the body of a dancer’s daughter? I understand why Father couldn’t help himself, now.” 

‘Is that…?’ 

It couldn’t be who he suspected. No, because Sakura would’ve said something immediately, right? But she blinked in the memory, temporarily clearing her vision enough to make out dark green eyes, blood-red hair, and a disgusting, amused expression on Hihara Haruno’s face as he stole his sister’s innocence and relished in the act. 

Sakura managed to empty her mouth of whatever gagged her and begged, “P-Please, stop! It hurts!” And it did hurt. Every centimeter he moved felt like her core was being torn to shreds. 

Akuma was too engrossed to pull himself from the memory, too stunned by the truth. He felt the poor Haruno woman struggle the entire time, experienced the gut-wrenching sensation of self-disgust when Hihara told her she was a whore and that she’d ruin everyone’s name if she told a soul about what happened. 

As Akuma watched the redheaded man dress and leave the broken woman alone, his rage began to mix in with Sakura’s angst. His vision became coated in red as he looked down at her bloodied body and bedsheets. 

‘How dare he…! I’ll tear every vein from his body, one by one!’ 

There were muffled voices meeting his comprehension, but he couldn’t focus on them as Sakura struggled off the bed only to fall into a heap on the floor because the pain between her legs was too severe. 

‘She’s hurt. She’s bleeding. I have to help her. I have to get her out of there!’ Those weren’t his thoughts, just then, but Sasuke’s. 

‘The magic must be affecting him, too.’ It was enough to snap the demon from his uncontrollable state, and he deactivated the spell.

Suddenly, Akuma was back to his own body, his own consciousness. His eyes shot open to see blank green ones filled with tears. Sakura didn’t blink as she sat in a daze as though hypnotized. She was only taking in short, quick breaths. Her hands were clutching his as tightly as she was probably capable. He felt hot, wet tears force themself from his own eyes, though they were made of blood since he was a demon, remnants of what he’d felt in her mind, and a growl rumbled low in his chest. 

“Did you see who it was?” Itachi asked, snapping the demon from his stupor. 

His head jerked to the side to fix the prince with a menacing glare, “Watch over her,” he barked, slipping away from the traumatized, frozen woman. 

Kisame called after him, “Who was it!” 

He ignored it. 

The swine responsible was so close, under the same roof. Akuma searched room after room, slamming each door open as he hunted Hihara Haruno, only to encounter a few maids in the final room of the manor. 

“Where is the man with red hair?!” He bellowed, barely containing his murderous energy. 

A brunette one that sometimes tended to Sakura pointed toward the stairs to the first floor as she cowered with the others, “H-He left by horse while you were with Lady Haruno. He said something urgent had come up.”  

The demon didn’t stop to put on a coat before sprinting from the manor. He used what little mana remained from that knight to quicken his steps as he tried to track down the swine responsible for hurting Sakura. He ran and ran for hours until the first signs of sunrise met the horizon. 

The exercise hadn’t dulled his rage. No, he roared with all the might of a beast, ripping through half-dead trees with bloodied claws. Akuma yelled to no one, “I’ll rip out his throat! I’ll drink every ounce of his blood!” 

He didn’t stop his outburst until the sun rose and he had no choice because Sasuke shifted into control and wasn’t capable of the same level of devastation. Panting heavily from all the activity, the Uchiha prince let himself fall onto his back on the snow, his dark eyes wide on the cloudy sky as he attempted to comprehend all that’d happened through the night. For a long time, nothing happened, and his thoughts were hardly structured. 

Eventually, he snapped out of it and spoke in a raspy, eerily calm voice, “I will kill him.” 

[wind-becomes-lightning]

The future is ours to own.

Welcome to Obito week Day 1 :) This little fic today is mostly just me being whiny about this hc that I hate which is so prominent about Gai and Obito not getting along. I don't like it I don't want it. So here is my take on their post war relationship.

Obito lives Au

Might Gai & Uchiha Obito

Rated G

2777 words

Ao3 link [x]

for @obito-week: childhood, nostalgia & anniversary.

Gai visits Obito in prison

He didn’t recognise the footsteps approaching the cell. Heavy, with purpose, but lopsided, as if only one leg was working correctly. Obito couldn’t see because a seal had been placed on his eyes and he could not use his hands to feel because they had been bound, but he often understood who was approaching by the way the floor moved.

Kakashi, for example, slouched a little, so he dragged his feet. Obito would know Kakashi as soon as he entered the cellar in which his cell was located. He talked very little until he made it to where Obito was. 

The guards had heavy armour and even heavier to carry with their special shuriken bags. Only in Hozuki were people allowed to wear these chakra suppression materials that were not only very effective, but also forbidden elsewhere. 

Even in that one case, when Sasuke had visited him, his steps had been smaller, more muted, as if he was trying not to gain too much attention.

So the person that was coming now was neither of them for one, and hadn’t visited Obito before for another. It made him feel tense and worried. Kakashi had told him that the war anniversary was around the corner, which surprised Obito. In this darkness that he was kept in now every day seemed the same and so he had thought it was much longer since then. That someone new was coming now meant clearly that it was someone who was looking for some revenge. 

And it wasn’t like Obito minded people who wanted revenge against him, he just didn’t want to cause Kakashi and Naruto, who had so extraordinarily vouched for him, any more trouble by dying. 

Though it seemed unlikely that the approaching stranger was up for revenge. He seemed rather cheerful, chatting with guards now and then in a low voice, though Obito could not hear what he talked about with them. That was until the person reached the cell door and had it opened for him. “I am happy to see so much is being done for the inmates in this place,” the voice said excitedly. “I think reintegration is the right step forward for criminals. Help them understand their youth again.”

The guard laughed quietly as if he was a little embarrassed by the words spoken, then the door squeaked and swung open and the visitor stepped inside.

Gai.

Obito could barely believe it. Gai had not spoken a word to him since they had been very young, not even in the war had he looked at him. Gai who had been so much of what Obito wished he had been, a fighter, naturally talented, a person that could make friends easily and retain them. Obito’s whole body tensed up and he pushed himself against the wall behind him. Gai, who’s student Obito had killed during the war in a needless display of hatred and violence.

“Hello Obito,” Gai said in his usual cheerful voice. “My rival's rival.”

Obito pushed himself flat against the back wall. “Hello Gai. I didn’t expect you to visit.”

All these months Obito had waited for someone who had been close to the Hyuuga boy to come and scream at him in frustration. His teammates, his uncle or his cousins- but nobody had come until now. There was only him sitting in his own regrets for weeks on end, thinking of the boy that had been killed so young. What he had wanted was to create a better world for everybody, especially children plagued by war, and in the end he had just become what he always hated.

“Ha, yes, I thought it was time to see you.” Gai walked forward and Obito guessed that he stopped about an arms length away from where he was. “Kakashi allowed me. I know he comes here all the time.”

Obito grumbled: “Too often.”

Kakashi was determined to show Obito that nothing in their relationship had changed. That Kakashi, despite all, still admired Obito as the hero he saw him to be. Obito of course knew that was a farce and that he wasn’t like that anymore, that that version of him had died a long time ago, still Kakashi was stubborn.

Gai laughed, the sound echoed off the walls and filled the room. “You are both so much older now but you still behave like you did around each other when you were teenagers. Feels almost nostalgic. I remember easily locating your team in the Chuunin exams because you couldn’t stop arguing with each other.” 

“I remember you kicked me so hard in the face that I needed to get treated for a concussion,” Obito replied and laughed now too. Back then Obito’s pride had gotten beat up so thoroughly  that he had exclusively trained taijutsu for the next three months, completely neglecting his Ninjutsu training, which Kakashi had not been too tired to point out.

“Right, you said you would knock me out in five minutes,” Gai remembered. “I took that as a challenge.”

Obito grinned. “Clearly, I was full of shit.” 

“No,” Gai said, “you were just young. Youthful passion does that to a person.”

In a way Obito had always admired Gai for his unwavering optimism. He had also hated it to equal measure. In the years that Obito had spent watching Kakashi he had often thought that the only reason Kakashi was still holding on was Gai’s unrelenting optimism. While the wood boy Tenzo was also a big part of what kept Kakashi going, Gai definitely had the biggest hand in it. And as much as it ashamed him now, Obito had really wanted Kakashi to throw in the towel. Give up on the world, just like Obito had. 

He had tried the same strategy with Naruto. Had wanted to make him feel despair and pain so he would give up on the world. But Naruto was stronger than that. Even when his mentor died, he carried on. Obito’s internal envy had burned hot and angry. Why wasn’t this boy as desperate as he was? Why wouldn’t he give up on the world like he did? Maybe somewhere he had wanted to excuse himself from his deeds, show that everyone would fall as deeply as he had fallen. So Obito had killed one of Naruto’s friends right in front of him just to see how he would react.

But Naruto still didn’t fall into despair. Neither did Gai when he saw his student die. They had both carried on with hope in their hearts. It was a quality that Obito wished he still had, but somewhere along the way the optimistic and driven version of him had died and this more angry, more cynical version had taken its place. Buried deep under stone.

“I…” Obito started but Gai cut him off immediately. “He was really a good kid, you know? Neji.” 

Ah, so he really did come to talk about that. “I can believe that,” Obito murmured.

“He was born into the side branch, a nasty business thing the Hyuuga do where one child is deemed less important than the other. And though he had a good childhood in general he hardened his heart when his father died so as to not be hurt again.” Gai sighed. Obito of course knew that the Hyuuga clan separated their members in main branch and side branch and how it affected those family members. Each of the major clans had their issues somewhere. They couldn’t stay in power for so many decades if they weren’t ruling with an iron fist.

“Even when he entered my team, he did not trust me or his teammates.” Gai tapped with his finger on the cold stone ground. “I think he thought he needed to do it all alone. Become strong, reform his family, avenge his father, bear the burden of being marked for life. He warmed up to the others though eventually and listened to me, but I think it was only Naruto that taught him to be different.

Obito smiled: “Naruto tends to have that quality.”

“Once Neji realised that the future wasn’t set, that he could do as he pleased, he quickly became the most reliable shinobi in Konoha. Not only for missions, not only for our team, but also for his family. I think he really cherished the friendships he had made and the new sibling-like bond he had with his cousins. You could basically feel the real effort that had been made to improve the clan. I used to talk to Kurenai all the time about how much better both our Hyuuga students were doing since they were getting along,” Gai continued.

The pit of despair that Obito always felt when Hyuuga Neji was mentioned opened again in Obito’s stomach. “That is very good,” he said weakly.

Gai moved a little as if he was shifting his weight beneath him. “There were many times I told him that despite what their old traditions say, it was not his responsibility to die for a main branch member. Protecting them, yes. Working with them, yes. Helping them, absolutely. But dying for them? It was not what he was forced to do. It was his choice.”

He paused for a moment and Obito could feel his body tensing up. “And then he did. He made the choice. He sacrificed himself out of his own free will,” Gai’s words were pressed now as if continuing was causing him physical harm. “I am happy for him. He fulfilled what he believed to be destiny by defying destiny and still….. I wish…” His voice died.

Obito had never heard Gai sad like that, not when they were young and not later when he watched Kakashi. Gai was always cheerful and excited, Gai went on and on about youth and love and passion even so much that others got annoyed. So hearing him suffer like this almost felt unbearable. Obito could feel tears run down his cheeks before he really realised that he was in fact crying.

“I’m sorry..” He said with lips quivering. “I should not have tried to force my own twisted view on others. Neji.. probably was not part of that world that I hated so much, but a victim of it. I was so blinded by my envy and rage that I couldn’t see that there were many children like that. He would have deserved to make his own future, he would have deserved to grow and see the world change, his clan change, around him. He… he had so much left to do and… well.. He was just a kid and I…” 

He sniffed, but the tears kept coming. Obito had envisioned this encounter many times before. How he would react if one of Neji’s family members would come and talk to him. Kakashi had asked him why it was this specific death that haunted him so much, when he had killed so many people in his quest for the Tsukuyomi. At first Obito hadn’t been able to explain that either. Maybe it was because he was so young and so hopeful, maybe because the reason he had died had been so unnecessarily evil or maybe it was because Neji, unlike Obito, had seen injustice in the world and then tried to correct it as much as he could, while Obito had just given up on himself.

Obito gasped as suddenly two big arms threw themselves around him. Gai was hugging him close, tears streaming down his face too. “He was a kid, yes,” he said between sobs, “but so were you. Kakashi told me what happened to you, about Madara and the manipulation, about Rin and your desperation. You were just a child. You weren’t meant to bear such a heavy burden on your shoulders.” 

“Come…come on…,” Obito winced a little as Gai pressed him even closer. They remained like this for another moment, just two grown men crying over childhoods lost. The scene must have been very odd for onlookers, but none of them cared. It felt strangely relieving to sit here and just cry together. 

After a while Obito regained his composure. “You should not forgive me for what I did,” he said and wiped his cheeks beneath the seal. “My circumstances don’t excuse the crimes I committed. At least that is also what the judge that sent me here told me.”

Gai let go of Obito. “I won’t forgive you,” Gai said, now suddenly sounding very serious. “I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive you. But I wanted to express my understanding. Despite the anger I feel towards you at the moment I can’t say I would have been any different if all of what happened to you would have happened to me…”

“Nonsense,” Obito laughed, “You were always stronger than me. You will continue to be stronger than me.”

A hand grabbed Obito’s shoulder and pressed it. “It shows how strong your will is that you are still here with us. You tried to sacrifice yourself for the good of the youth of this world because you once again believed there was a future to sacrifice yourself for. Strength shows in many different ways, Obito, not only in optimism or muscle mass.“ Gai shook Obito a little. “You took Neji’s future from him a year ago and you can never give it back, that much is true, but what you do with the future you have been given, what we do with the future we both have given by surviving, is our own choice.”

Obito lifted his hands and pressed them against Gai’s arms on his shoulders. He could feel his lips shaking again. One of the things he struggled most with was the fact that he had survived this war. It would have been so much easier just to die there, become nothing but a distant memory. He was also convinced that it would have made Kakashi’s life much easier. 

He now realised why Gai’s steps had created such odd vibrations when he had walked. During his fight with Madara, when Obito was largely under control of black Zetsu, Gai had also tried to sacrifice himself for the future of the world by opening the Gate of Death. Just like Obito, however, Gai had been saved by Naruto and the power that was gifted to him from the Sage of Six Paths. Still, he lost a leg that had since been replaced by a prosthetic one, at least according to what Kakashi had said.

Now they both lived in a future that they tried to preserve and though their setups were completely different, for good reason, they were oddly similar. Maybe Gai was right.

“I don’t think with all that has happened that we can ever be friends,” Gai continued. “I don’t think I will be able to look at you and not feel pain in my chest…” Obito nodded. “... but I think we should try to get to know each other from the very beginning, like we are just young kids meeting for the first time. Start building an understanding between us with the smallest piece first.”

Obito let his hands fall down again. “You mean for Kakashi’s sake?” Though Kakashi had never talked about it, Obito knew he feared that a future animosity between Obito and Gai could cause him constant heartache.  

Gai grabbed Obito’s shoulder a little tighter: “No, for us. To show that we know how to use this time that has been given to us.” He finally let Obito go and then stepped back. The air moved as if Gai was ripping his arms around and his voice was suddenly louder than it had been before. “My name is Might Gai,” he roared, “My dream is still to become a splendid ninja and to use the power of my own youth!”

His hand found Obito’s and shook it. Obito laughed a little. So that was what Gai had meant when he had said that they should get to know each other like kids again. “I’m Uchiha Obito,” Obito said weakly and realised how long it had been since he had introduced himself like that. “My dream used to be to become Hokage, but now I guess Bakashi got that role, well, I guess my new dream will be to support him if I can.” 

They shook again. “Nice to meet you,” Gai said. 

“Nice to meet you,” Obito replied.

Obito had thought that the anniversary of the war would bring him waves of guilt and regret, but instead it had become the first day of the rest of his life.

[justice4sasuke]

Character Roundups Round 5: Orochimaru

I had planned to do one of these for Orochimaru since he does interact a lot with Sasuke and he is a Sasuke parallel, but thinking about it he didn't really fit the format I came up with at least not in an interesting way. So I was going to skip him, but really there's something I want to talk about in regards to Orochimaru. Let's call it...the Orochimaru Problem.

The problem with Orochimaru is he comes in as this scary big bad that even Kakashi is afraid of and then by the end he's, well, a joke. I suppose that's par for the course for some media, particularly ones that don't care about their characters, but what really bugs me here is that Sasuke did WAY WAYYYYY less bad things than Orochimaru. Orochimaru was out here experimenting on people, imprisoning people, kidnapping children, murdering people, attempting to start a war (not that Konoha didn't deserve it a little bit but the reason they did deserve it wasn't because they didn't make Orochimaru hokage). And I was fine with the scene of child Orochimaru and the snake when he died because one it was a nice character moment in Naruto and those rarely happen and I didn't feel like we were supposed to feel sad for him, just understand him better. But when Orochimaru gets back the narrative acts like he's a harmless weirdo despite all of the above and makes a joke about him wanting Sasuke's body still.

What gets me about that besides the fact that Konoha just lets him do whatever, is that Sasuke apparently still needs his ~redemption~ for being "bad"? Sasuke is ~lucky~ that Naruto was ~vouching~ for him or else they would have thrown him in jail??? Bitch, Orochimaru, child abuser, murderer, war mongerer, is right there are you guys aren't doing shit about it why does SASUKE need vouching for? For being mad that he's a genocide victim. And furthermore is really retroactively fucks with the narrative acting like Sasuke defecting to Orochimaru was this terrible thing. On every reread when everyone is saying how horrible it is that Sasuke went to Orochimaru the only thing I can think of is "well, you guys aren't going to be giving a shit what Orochimaru does in a few years so who cares." Defanging a villain is one thing, but acting like he's less bad than someone who actually had a point because the author just started pretending he wasn't that bad is bullshit.

[loobs-ki]

—some sasusaku headcanons for #ssm22!! 🌸🍅

➵ genin sasuke was always intrigued by sakuras hair color

➵ they both really like back hugs and neck kisses

➵they love cooking together

➵ they both enjoy reading-sometimes they read to each other

➵ when they moved in together, they avoided each other for a bit due to embarrassment

➵ sakura was shocked to find that sasuke loves to cuddle. he's touch-deprived asf lol

➵ sakura mumbles in her sleep. sasuke thinks it cute

➵ sasuke likes to lay on sakuras lap

➵ sakura would try to get sasuke to laugh and when he actually did, she fell in love all over again

➵ sakura likes to ruffle sasukes hair and play with his spikes

➵ they would go on double dates with ino and sai (just inosaku having fun while sasusai followed them lmao)

➵ sasuke HATES how famous sakura is amongst the men

➵ sasuke reads sakuras medical scrolls to understand her better

➵ they are rlly good with money

➵ sasuke is surprisingly good with kids. he and sakura would babysit inojin for saiino sometimes

➵ sakura loves how caring sasuke is with cats

➵ kakashi and naruto would stalk them when they were on dates. they would get pissed when they found them watching

➵ when they were genin, they bet on who naruto would end up with. sakura won the bet ofc-ssk bet he would be alone💀

➵ they hate orochimaru but are protective of mitsuki

➵ sasuke was an over protective worried sick father when sarada was younger

➵ sakuras laugh is sasukea favorite thing

➵ sarada has walked in on them before-she was too young to remember now

➵ sasuke finds sai and ino cringy for their PDA ☠️🙏🏻 sakura always smacks his arm when he makes remarks on them

➵ sasuke likes to brush sakuras hair

➵ they went on a ramen date with naruto and hinata

➵ they only argue when they feel like the other isn't taking care of themself

➵ sasukes fav color is green (sakuras eyes) but he will never admit it

➵ sakura likes to do skin care with sasuke

➵ sasuke is a gaanaru shipper and sakura is a naruhina lol

➵ they invite kakashi to dinner a lot

➵ sasuke cried when sarada was born

➵ sakura is the only person sasuke allows to take care of him

➵ sasuke said "i love you" for the first time when he thought sakura was asleep

➵ they both have nightmares a lot but take care of each other

➵ they love sleeping in

➵ they were stunned when they came back to the village after sarada was born and found out boruto existed (they had babies at the same time like wtf)

➵ ↑ sasuke also couldn't believe naruto is capable of sex ☠️

➵ they are the only ppl who can make fun of naruto. they dont tolerate naruto slander from others (except kakashi and sai)

➵ sasuke finds sai annoying but does still care about him as a member of t7 ofc. sakura vouches for sai a lot when ssk complains lol

➵ they visit granny chiyos grave a lot

➵ they married on their travels

➵ sasuke has quacked before as a joke. sakura cried laughing

damn i got carried away lmao. but that's the end :)

[huskymaine]

Underrated Kakashi “Sensei” moments (with Team 7) [Revision]

To Naruto

- Worrying for team 7 in Chuunin exam and get reassured by Naruto’s confidence

- Analyze, confirm and told Asuma + Kurenai about Akatsuki’s identity and target (Naruto) [just after receiving 3 days Tsukuyomi time of continuous stabbing]

- Encouraging Shikamaru to check on Naruto and said that he worried for Naruto’s well being more than cracking the code

- Hesitate to say to Naruto about Tsunade’s Rasen Shuriken ban after hearing Naruto’s dream and determination

-  instigate Naruto to talk about Minato as his father

- Cushioning Naruto from Rasengan vs Chidori impact

To Sasuke

- Let Sasuke dispersed Zabuza’s Water Clone

- Use his blood to seal Sasuke’s curse seal

- Trained to get stronger to protect Sasuke

- Order Sakura, Naruto, and Shikamaru to bring Sasuke to a safe place

And the reason why he gave that mission is because he can sense the danger of Gaara’s Bijuu chakra

-  Investigate Itachi’s intention to Sasuke

[again, just after receiving 3 days Tsukuyomi time of continuous stabbing]

- Evaluate Team 7′s dream and how far they achieve it, then ask Sasuke about his current dream.

To Sakura

- Making sure of Sakura’s willingness to enter Chuunin Exam outside Naruto and Sasuke’s insistance.

- Carrying fainted Sakura and shushing the boys from awakening her (and Ino).

- Vouched her positive trait to Tsunade

- Prioritize her safety personally and delegate ninja hound to inform Konoha about the Summit

- Told Sakura to apologize to Kiba, Lee and Sai

- Protect Sakura from remnant of Naruto vs Sasuke impact

To Sai

- Acknowledge Sai’s loyalty toward Naruto

-  Worrying about his stand in the Root

-Voiced his faith on Sai

- Boost his confidence and encourage him to not suppress his emotions anymore

Bonus

According to Kishimoto, Kakashi is the ideal master for him compared to Jiraiya and Iruka.

Interestingly, I find many Naruto fans from Tumblr and Reddit disagree with him. Naruto fanboys on Reddit who is full of power scaling lover dudebros thought that Jiraiya is the ideal master because both Naruto and him are not “geniuses” and Jiraiya taught 2 jutsu to him, Summoning Jutsu and Rasengan, compared to Kakashi who just taught about developing Rasen Shuriken (offensive attack speaking). As for Naruto fans on Tumblr prefer Iruka because they generally saw Kakashi as apathetic and emotionless man, so they like Iruka who is more soft and considerate.

Not gonna say that they were wrong because ideal standard is different from person to person, but in Kishimoto’s case, he explicitly said that Kakashi is the ideal master to him because Kakashi is “A protecting Master who instead yelling at you, explain what went wrong and how to fix it. Someone who pushed his student forward instead of yelling him back to square 0”.

Meaning Kishimoto prefers this : 

(On that panel above, Kakashi has yet become Team 7′s teacher)

Instead of these : 

In the same interview, Kishimoto also said that he had a very stern and rude master image in his head, but he wants Kakashi to be a more laid back teacher, gave him kindness and woman-like speech pattern.

The “woman-like” speech pattern here I think is about how soft-spoken Kakashi is toward children. Compared to other males in Narutoverse, Kakashi has a very calm way to speak with kids and never shy about emotional conversation, like he told Haku about Zabuza’s feeling when they got Edo-Tensei-ed although Zabuza is still in the deep of “A shinobi must never show emotion” motto XD. In fact, I found this similarity between Kakashi and Inari’s conversation :

And Mikoto-Sasuke’s conversation :

Tl : dr = I’ll never declare Kakashi as the best or ideal master (unlike Kishimoto haha). But when I first arrived at Naruto fandom, I was so surprised at fandom’s depiction of Kakashi as emotionless military teacher. Like, did no one see that Kakashi is actually a giant softie? He’s like 20x way softer compared to my real life teachers. Or is it cultural difference?

As for this topic, I wholeheartly agree with this post :

Although of course I didn’t saw him as loving mother XD (Translation error? The actual page is in Chinese and I use Google Translate Page to convert it to english).

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 11: Puzzles -Shingen's POV... what does he really think about Katsu? And what will he do when he finds that pretty spy again?

Shingen x OC; Kenshin x MC (Mai)

Previous Chapter: here

Logline - Disguised as a boy, Katsuko finds herself working for Shingen, but her dangerous masquerade becomes difficult to sustain when she falls for the man with a fatal secret.

He’d been deep enough in sleep that the knocking barely registered on him, might even have been part of an unremembered dream, as was the swish when the door slid open, and the sound of Katsu’s feet, padding as lightly as a cat, to his desk. But those sounds in succession were enough to drag him into awareness and squint his eyes open for a brief moment as the young man propped a stack of messages on his desk, next to the puzzle that he still hadn’t solved.

Solved in time, rather. Shingen had been putting the puzzle back together every night, so that each time Katsu picked it up, he had to begin anew. It didn’t seem to frustrate him though, and whenever he restarted, he approached the puzzle with enthusiasm and an apparent strategy that Shingen knew would eventually prove successful. Perhaps, one of these afternoons, he would give Katsu more time to put it together, or more likely Katsu would solve the thing faster – he was getting closer each day. For now, watching his new messenger as he concentrated on finding the solution was proving to be an entertaining diversion.

There was a tactical brain in there. A tactician’s temperament? Maybe, maybe not. Katsu was certainly too impulsive, sometimes too quick to speak, too quick to sarcasm (which might be Yukimura’s influence). And of course, the young man was focused on the search for his brother, a search that after all these years, was likely to be futile.

Though it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have his mitsumono keep an eye out for Toshiie as well  – once Katsu had an answer, one way or another, perhaps Shingen could help guide him in a direction that would allow him better use of his mind and instincts.

Katsu softly walked to the door, then possibly prompted by those instincts, turned and looked back at Shingen. He closed his eyes, keeping them shut until he heard the door slide closed a moment later.

“I suppose I imagine myself a teacher now,” he thought to himself. His old friend Kennyo would laugh at that idea, but maybe all that was needed to find teaching rewarding was to have a compelling pupil. It was similar to how he felt about guiding Yukimura from a rebellious teenager to the capable adult he had become … maybe these things would be part of his legacy.

Meanwhile, he had a viable plan for the unneeded courier whom he had basically taken on out of pity. You’re guilty of being impulsive from time to time as well, he told himself. The young man potentially could have been an enemy agent. But Sasuke had vouched for him, and Katsu had passed the tests that should have revealed him to be a spy, had that been the case. Instead, his somewhat rash decision had paid off by rewarding him with a messenger who was fast, reliable, and quick-witted.

Having dealt with – at least theoretically – Katsu’s future, Shingen turned his mind to the lovely spy he’d encountered last night. Who had sent her? And for what purpose? Not assassination – he’d taken a good long look to ensure she wasn’t hiding any weapons. Then a second look to confirm the first… and appreciate the view. When he’d first seen the little beauty, water droplets sluicing off her body, he’d momentarily thought she was indeed the mermaid he’d called her. Her feigned shriek of surprise had brought him back to his senses. None but a spy would have braved that cold water. Though the waterlogged nymph had obviously miscalculated just how cold that lake could be at night.

He’d decided to give her the opening she’d planned and teased her by stealing her blanket. He’d expected her to rush out of the water, plaster her body to his, then thank him for warming her, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. Whoever had sent her was clearly aware of the reputation he’d carefully cultivated. Had the night gone as he’d anticipated, he would have lowered that body to the blanket, and enjoyed thoroughly exploring every inch of her, before sending her back to her master (whoever that may be), without the information she sought.

As recompense for refusing to satisfy any attempt to extract information from him, he would have physically satisfied her body’s needs. He’d envisioned her face flushed from pleasure, lips swollen from his kisses, and body humming with the aftermath of their play. It had promised to be a mutually enjoyable encounter.

That’s what ought to have happened.

He laughed at himself as he smoothed out the blanket she had left with him. Apparently, his spy had had a different agenda. Instead of seductive kisses from a practiced siren, he’d received a spirited bargaining session from a mischievous sprite. It had been, well, entertaining, to watch her try to outmaneuver him… until she’d actually outmaneuvered him.

She’d be back. Maybe he hadn’t gotten what he’d wanted from her, but neither had she received the information she’d sought. This had simply been her opening raid, in what likely would prove to be a longer battle. She would approach him again… if he didn’t find her first. Their next encounter would go more his way.

He eventually drifted back into sleep amidst plans for such an encounter.

“I really am moving like an old man this morning,” was his self-deprecating thought when he eventually hauled himself out of bed. It had been a late night, but he was used to late nights. This morning was… just a slow morning. That was all. He stretched, wincing at the familiar weight pressing on his chest and the ache in his joints, hoping that it didn’t herald a return to the cycle of illness and semi-recovery that had dogged the past few years. Perhaps he had simply moved wrong.

There was the sound of running feet outside, then a knock at the door.

“Yes?” He reached for his yukata then winced again as it fell to the floor, forcing him to bend to reach it.

“It’s Katsu.”

Alerted by a note of urgency in his messenger’s voice, Shingen said, “Enter.”

Katsu rushed in, skidded to a halt, blinked, and fixed his eyes on the wall behind Shingen. Shingen almost laughed at Katsu’s attempt at polite blindness, but he wouldn’t have rushed in without a good reason. Maybe that pretty spy had been found. He shrugged into the. “What is it? Did someone find her already?”

Katsu took a deep breath. He held out an arrow. “Someone just shot this over the wall at Mai.”

Damn it.

“Was she hurt?” Clearly, she hadn’t been seriously injured, or there were already be alarms clanging throughout Kasugayama. He took the arrow that Katsu was holding. No blood on it, so Mai was likely untouched. But the thought that someone wanted Mai dead… and the thought of what Kenshin would do…? His friend was not as broken these days. But much of that was due to Mai’s influence, and if something happened to her… Shingen didn’t want to contemplate the ensuing chain of events.

“No. Yoshimoto saved her life.” Katsu’s attention stayed firmly on the arrow. “We were on the back grounds, when it came over the wall. Yoshimoto pulled her out of the way and covered her with his body, and the arrow landed right where she had been standing. She refuses to tell Kenshin, but … Yoshimoto and I felt someone in authority needed to know.”

He had a feeling that Katsu and Yoshimoto had had to do some fast talking to get Mai to agree to even that. She tended to be oblivious sometimes to the danger of her position as Kenshin’s Lady.

He glanced down at the arrow his still had in his hands. Definitely not the type that his archers used, and not from the Kasugayama armory either. “This isn’t from the Kasugayama armory.”

Katsu pointed to the feathers on the shaft. “Sea eagle feathers are fairly easy to obtain around here, though.”

A good point, however, the arrowheads would have to be -

“I could go around to the blacksmiths in the area and see if anyone makes arrowheads like these,” Katsu echoed his thoughts.

It was a worthwhile plan. However, it could keep. “You can do that later.” He went to the desk for paper and a brush. “Can you draw?”

“Not at all.”

Shingen added that to his internal list of “things to teach Katsu.” He wasn’t much of an artist himself, but map making was a learnable skill. He sketched out a map of the archery grounds…. Perhaps only a semi learnable skill. Few people would look at that drawing and recognize the Kasugayama yard. “Show me where everyone was standing.”

Katsu joined him at the desk and drew little sticks with circles at the top – oh, was that supposed to be Yoshimoto (side squiggle to represent his queue) and Mai (long squiggles for hair) and Katsu (no squiggles)? He then added some circular squiggles above the wall. What were those? Trees?

Katsu had been correct. He could not draw at all. He took “teach Katsu to draw” off the mental list. Maybe Yoshimoto or Mai could make that attempt.

He leaned over Katsu and pointed to the odd squiggles. “The arrow came from there?”

Katsu’s posture was perfectly straight and still under his arm and his voice sounded uncharacteristically inflectionless. “Um. Around there, yeah. This one, probably.” He traced an invisible line across the ‘map’ toward the circle/sticks. “One of these trees had to be it. There’s a lot of cover – I climbed the wall, but he was gone when I got there. Or well hidden.”

Climbed the wall? Shingen glanced down at Katsu’s hands which had a broken nail, and a network of scrapes and scratches from the rough stones. He pictured Katsu scampering up the wall like a snow monkey, his face alive and intent upon solving another kind of puzzle. On the heels of that image came an unexpected surge of lust. He batted that thought away - he could not take advantage of Katsu’s trust in such a way.

His silence gone on too long - Katsu turned to look at him, his eyes curious, and suddenly conscious of his undressed state, Shingen stepped back and fastened his yukata. Absurd idea, he repeated to himself. It was simply residual feelings from last night’s unfinished encounter with the spy.

Katsu seemed to think his silence was indicative of disapproval. “I should have searched the woods. Now it’s too late. I’m sorry.” The tone was even more apologetic than the words.

“Don’t beat yourself up. I doubt he stuck around after that one shot. He was likely gone before you even got to the wall.” He patted Katsu on the shoulder, reminding himself that his role was of a mentor.

“I’ll go take a look around anyway,” Katsu said, clearly eager to get to work.

As Shingen ought to as well. This attempt on Mai was a far greater issue than either the search for an impish sprite or the unexpected attraction to his messenger. He followed Katsu “That’s a good idea – I’d like to do that as well, if you don’t mind showing me.”

Katsu gave him an odd look. “I don’t mind, but you might want to get dressed. Or at least put some outside sandals on.” It appeared that Katsu had already heard about the ground spike incident. The castle gossip network was nearly as efficient as his mitsumono.

“I’ll get Yoshimoto, since he might have seen something I didn’t, and meet you there.” Katsu practically flew out the door.

Shingen grabbed for the rest of his clothing. Outside there was a thump and a clatter that he ignored in favor dressing as quickly as his aching joints would allow.

Katsu and Yoshimoto seemed to be in agreement that the tree towering over the West side of the castle wall was the most likely source of the arrow. Glad that the short walk to the grounds had loosed up his stiff joints, Shingen knelt on the ground under the tree, even though the soft grass would not have retained any impression of the archer’s feet.

“Maybe we’ll be lucky and he snagged his clothing in the tree?” Katsu said.

Shingen looked over his shoulder to see Katsu prowling around the tree, and the next thing he knew, the young man was scrambling amongst the branches.

“Are you sure you didn’t steal that one from a troupe of acrobats?” Yoshimoto murmured.

Generally, it was best to ignore Yoshimoto when he slid into that too-bored-to-be-bothered by it tone, so Shingen let that go. “Katsu said we have you to thank for saving Mai’s life.”

Yoshimoto took out his fan, languidly waved it around. “Katsu yelled arrow, I grabbed Mai’s arm, Mai leaped to follow. One could say that all three of us had a part to play.”

“I’m pretty sure this is it. I can see the entire training field.” At the sound of Katsu’s voice he looked up to where Katsu was balanced on a thick branch that extended nearly to the top of the wall.

Because he trusted Katsu’s expertise in archery, Shingen asked, “How difficult would it be from where you are standing, to hit a moving target?”

“It’s doable. We weren’t moving around all that much. A heavier arrow, like the one we found, can travel further than where we were standing. I mean, it wouldn’t be the easiest, but any experienced archer could do it… Yoshimoto could you come up here and see if you agree?”

Yoshimoto was examining the painting on his fan. “No.”

His mental things-to-take-care-of list expanded to include, ‘do something about Yoshimoto.’ Something in the realm of finding his cousin a vocation beyond collecting pretty trinkets.

“You don’t think you could make that shot?” Katsu was still shading his eyes and looking toward the yard.

“Oh, I could probably make the shot. I could not, however, climb that tree.” Yoshimoto shuddered. “With the wind the way it was, though, do you think he was aiming for Mai, or you, or me?”

That was a question that Shingen had been pondering as well. Mai was the most obvious target of course, but perhaps Yoshimoto had angered someone, and who knew what sort of enemies Katsu had lurking in his past. However, there were easier ways to kill someone – maybe the archer didn’t care who he hit.

“Or he didn’t care which one of…” Katsu trailed off.

Again, Katsu was thinking along the same lines as Shingen. The shot may simply have been a message. “It’s possible it was meant as a threat to unsettle Ke- “

Katsu had let go of the trunk of the tree and was walking along the branch toward the castle wall, oblivious to the wind, and the way the branch dipped with his weight. “What the hell are you doing, Katsu?” The fool was going to get himself killed.

Then Katsu sprang up to grab a leaf from the branch above him, and Shingen felt his chest clutch in a way that had nothing to do with his illness.

“Damn. It’s just a leaf.”

Did he even realize how close he had come to falling? Maybe there was a tactical brain in there, but Katsu was missing a sense of self-preservation. “Get down from there!”

“Alright.” Katsu lowered himself to hang from the branch, then flung himself to the ground, flipping into a somersault at the bottom that made Shingen’s knees hurt in sympathy. There was that clutch in his chest again.

“Why cousin, you sounded practically paternal,” Yoshimoto said, as he fanned himself.

It might have sounded paternal, but it had felt… and whatever it was he felt drowned under a wave of anger at Katsu, who had no idea of the risk he had just taken.

“What were you saying?” he asked.

Startled into repeating the last thing he said, Shingen said, “Get down fr-“

“No, before that. Something about a threat?” Katsu wiped his hands on his kimono, seeming eager to get back to the puzzle. But Shingen couldn’t think about that at the moment. The image of Mai impaled on an arrow had been replaced by an image of Katsu splatting to the ground.

“I don’t recall. Your daredevil stunt knocked it right out of my head.” He raked his hands through his hair. “I thought you were going to fall to your death.”

“What? From that height?” Katsu looked back up at the tree, still blissfully unaware of the danger. “I didn’t, so-“

Had he ever been that young and brashly stupid? Surely not. Had even Yukimura’s teen years featured this sort of insane stunt? Shingen couldn’t remember.

“So…?” Yoshimoto prompted.

Katsu looked off in the distance, then shook his head. “It’s… I had a similar discussion with my brother on the last day that I saw him.”

So this headlong rushing into danger was part of Katsu’s personality. If that was the case, better to know now, before he wasted time training him. Katsu was clearly intelligent, but maybe he never would develop wisdom.

“If that is the case, then you ought to think long and hard before taking unnecessary risks with your life,” Shingen said. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything more. Instead, he headed back to the castle, away from the sight of a young man with all of his life ahead of him, and yet seemingly determined to waste it.

[ikeromantic]

Bonding

A Mitsuhide Akechi fanfic, approx. 1800 words. This scene takes place well after the events of the Romantic Epilogue as part of my post-route headcanon storyline.

First: Mitsuhide and the Maiden

Previous: In the Spotlight

Mitsuhide sat on the edge of a stuffed chair, a ‘sofa’, across from his little one’s father. Minoru, for his part, didn’t look any more comfortable with the company. Neither of them said anything. Mitsuhide found that his usual silver tongue had run out of witticisms when faced with the twin challenge of a world 500 years in the future and the need to impress the father of his beloved.

In the kitchen, the chatelaine and her mother Youko were making dinner. Their lively chatter was the only sound as the two men studied each other.

Finally, Minoru cleared his throat. “So. How did you two meet?”

“The answer to that would require additional explanation. Suffice it to say, I met her in the course of my work. Initially, she was a responsibility of mine. To train her so that she knew enough to stay ali- ah, safe.” Mitsuhide smiled. “She was quite a handful.”

Minoru frowned. “Safe? Safe from what? What kind of business are you in?” He leaned forward.

“Intelligence and information gathering.” He silently thanked Sarutobi for the modern words to describe being a spy and torturer.

“You work for a government?”

Mitsuhide nodded. “That is a good way to put it. Yes. For a government.”

His little mouse poked her head through the door. “Everything going ok, you two?”

Both men cleared their expressions and smiled over at her. “Yes,” they replied, almost in unison.

Her bright smile lit up the room. “I’m so glad. I wanted you two to get along. Anyway, dinner is almost ready!” She disappeared again and the smiles the two men wore faded like snow under a noon-day sun.

Minoru turned back to Mitsuhide. “How did my daughter get tangled up with some government agent? She designs clothes. She left for a job in fashion.” His voice is strained, half a year’s worth of worry and frustration pushing at the seams of his soul.

Mitsuhide nodded. “She is amazing at making clothing. That is a career she continues to pursue. But I met her the night she pulled my superior from a burning building. Had she not arrived when she did, he would have died.”

“My baby girl . . . pulled a man from a burning building?” Minoru’s eyebrows shot up, his expression one of incredulous disbelief.

“Yes, and after, he thought she should stay with our forces. For her protection and because he believed there was something special about her.” Mitsuhide’s thin smile reappeared. “He wasn’t wrong. She is very special. A wonder.”

Minoru coughed. “Well, yes, but . . . a burning building? She isn’t, that is, she wouldn’t just -”

Mitsuhide leaned forward. “You know her from her childhood. If she knew someone was going to burn to death and she had a chance to save them, would she leave them to die? Is it so unbelievable?”

He shook his head slowly. He knew his daughter was exactly the kind of girl to put herself at risk for another. “I should not be surprised. When she was five, she ran out into the street to stop traffic for a kitten. Almost got hit by a car. And it wasn’t until after the cat was safe that she even realized how close she came to dying.”

Both men chuckled.

“That sounds exactly like something my little mouse would do.”

Minoru scowled. “Your what?”

“A nickname,” Mitsuhide waved the comment off.

And then the call came for dinner. They all sat down around the table. A spread of familiar and strange foods that piqued Mitsuhide’s curiosity. He wondered which of these his beloved had made, and which her mother. To be safe, he thought, it would be wise to compliment every dish.

“So,” her mother began after everyone was served. “My daughter tells me you’re a warlord working for Oda Nobunaga?”

Mitsuhide choked in surprise, the bite of food sticking in his throat. He glanced at his little mouse for confirmation.

“It just sort of popped out while we were talking.”

With effort and a glass of water, Mitsuhide swallowed and cleared his throat. “I didn’t expect to bring this up until after dinner, but yes.”

Minoru scowled. “You’re telling me you work for a man 500 years dead?”

“I don’t know, he seemed pretty lively last time I saw him,” Mitsuhide quipped.

His little mouse grinned. “Papa, be nice! I told you, we will tell you everything.” She took a deep breath. “It started the day I arrived in Kyoto. I went sightseeing . . .”

Mitsuhide listened as attentively as her parents, this version of the tale filling in gaps and details he hadn’t known. Her timely rescue of Sasuke Sarutobi, her run-in with the forces from Kasugayama. It appeared his little one was better at keeping secrets that he’d credited.

Through the story, her mother made little sounds of agreement or surprise, but Minoru was deathly silent. His expression turned darker at every part until he couldn’t hold back anymore. “This sounds like some ridiculous cartoon! You can’t expect your mother and I to buy this. Tell the truth! What is he, some mafia? A gambler? What?”

Youko frowned at him from across the table. “Now you just hush and eat your food. If our little girl says this is what happened, I believe her. She has no reason to lie. She knows we support her no matter what. Don’t we, dear?”

Minoru’s brows lowered. “You can’t be serious. This, this man shows up with our daughter after months with no word! Not a letter! Not a post card! With this crazy story and we’re supposed to just -”

“Accept it. You know as well as I do that if our girl didn’t write or call, it’s because she couldn’t. When you think of it that way, it makes perfect sense.” Youko nodded to emphasize her point. “Besides, when have you ever known her to lie.”

“She’s terrible at that,” Mitsuhide added drily.

Minoru’s scowl deepened. “Don’t talk like you know her. Maybe you drugged her or something, and now she thinks all that is true.”

Mitsuhide sighed. He’d expected this kind of reaction after Sasuke and his little one explained what ‘meeting the parents’ entailed. He was beginning to wish he could have simply sent some gifts and a contract, or better yet, left that to Nobunaga and simply married the girl. “We did bring some proof with us today, and we have friends tomorrow who can vouch for everything.”

Youko gave Mitsuhide an encouraging smile. “Why don’t you go get it? I’m sure it will make Mino a little less grouchy.”

“I’m not grouchy,” Minoru grumbled.

“You are, papa. But it’s ok. This is really all my fault. I wish I’d been able to call you both. I missed you so much.”

Her father swallowed whatever he’d planned to say, touched by his daughter’s affection.

Mitsuhide went to their bags and grabbed his sword and the clothes he’d arrived in. He carried them back to the dining area. These were unlikely to be enough, he thought, but it wasn’t as if they’d planned to be swept to this time that night.

“Our clothes -” he set them down, “and my sword.”

Minoru poked at the clothing, unimpressed. The sword, however, got his attention. “This . . . it isn’t just some decorative piece . . .” The words were quiet, said more to himself than anyone.

Still, Mitsuhide answered. “No. That blade has taken many lives.”

“And saved some too,” his little mouse added. “Mine included.”

Minoru looked between the two of them. “Maybe you’ve both lost your minds. This thing -” He pointed at the sword, “is clearly an antique, but that proves nothing.”

“You are so stubborn,” Youko huffed.

Mitsuhide was beginning to see where his little one got that quality. Sweetness from her mother, stubbornness from her father. It made him smile.

***

Miyake and Sasuke sat at a nearby bar, drinks in hand.

“So this is called karaoke?” Miyake eyed the screen with words that moved and then emptied his sake cup. “And I can sing whatever I want?”

“Not whatever. I doubt they have any songs you know on file. But I think the enjoyment quotient will still be high.” Sasuke began tapping through the song selection, his expression focused. He stopped when he came across one with the image of a pink-faced girl. “This one.”

Miyake shrugged. “Alright.”

The music started. It sounded nothing like the instruments Miyake knew, or the rhythms and beats that were familiar to him. Still, he could pick out the melody, and it was nice - if strange.

The first word on the screen lit up and Sasuke started singing. His voice was surprisingly pleasant, even though the lyrics were senseless.

Miyake joined him on the next verse, nodding to the beat. It was a cheerful tune, he thought. Perfect to drink to. He poured another glass for himself and the ninja.

They emptied that and another as the song ended. The next pick was Miyake’s. He chose one based on the picture, a cute girl in a ridiculously short skirt.

“This is the theme song for my favorite anime,” Sasuke grinned.

“Then I picked a good one?”

Sasuke patted his arm. “A great one.”

Two hours later, both of them were too drunk to walk straight. Their singing got louder as their ability to pronounce the lyrics dwindled.

“Todokete atsuku naru omi . . .” The song dissolved into drunken laughter.

Miyake threw an arm around Sasuke. “Y-you’re my besht - besht fren.”

Sasuke leaned into the hug. “N-now I have two! Two besht frienz - friends.” He grinned but the expression slid into a sad frown.

“Wha - what ish it?” Miyake peered at the ninja’s face. “Need more sake?”

“I - I wish my other fren wash here,” Sasuke hiccuped. “An Shingen. I wash goin- going to take him to a hoshpital.”

Miyake nodded, though he didn’t understand. “Maybe nexsht time?”

“If he livesh,” Sasuke sighed.

“To Shingen,” Miyake poured them another round of sake. “And nexsht time!”

They drank to the toast.

Sasuke poured another. “And to friendsh we lef-left behind.”

They drank to that too.

After several more toasts that grew further away from the original point - to short skirts and lady’s stockings, to coffee, to the karaoke bar - the two men finally paid their tab and stumbled to the hotel.

Miyake nearly puked on the elevator, as the movement made his stomach flip. He would have taken the stairs, if he thought he could find the steps. He leaned on Sasuke as they walked down the hall. It felt like their room was miles away.

Sarutobi fumbled with the lock, and when the door opened, they fell inside.

Between leaning on each other and the walls, they managed to stand again.

“I’m go-gonna shower,” Miyake mumbled.

“Me nexsht,” Sasuke agreed. He tripped toward the beds and fell into the nearest one, face first.

Miyake made it to the shower, but didn’t manage to turn it on. He slumped to the floor and leaned his head back on the cool tiles, falling into a deep sleep.

Next: Middle Ground

[oh-no-its-bird]

I need. A fic. Where. Kakashi and Rin from the timeline established in "Ming Fan ends up in Naruto and massively derails the plot" end up in canon. And just kinda fucks around and gives us fun reactions n stuff

As a refresher, that timeline looks like this:

Izuna was first Hokage, Tobirama second Hokage, and Kagami the third

Sakumo was appointed 4th instead of Minato since Ming Fan interfered with his mission gone wrong

Kannabi bridge went unfortunately similar to canon, and Obito fell into Madara's hands.

With Sakumo still alive at the time, Kakashi was able to recover from this without the major personality shift, and due to a combination of Sakumo and Ming Fan's additional training, when it was Rin's turn on the chopping block, she instead survived and now continues to live as the Konoha's second jinchuriki

Obito attacked Konoha with the intention of releasing the kyuubi, and at the time Kushina and Minato were in the Senju compound for the birth

Mito got in his way, delaying him long enough for Sakumo to also arrive

In the fight, both Mito and Sakumo died (fucking thanks, Obito. I don't know if Kakashi's gonna be able to forgive u for that one this time around) but Kushina and Minato survived, and Naruto was born healthy and without the fox sealed into him

Kakashi is understandable devastated, and as recovery efforts begin, he's taken in by Minato and Kushina. He offers little fight against this.

With Sakumo's death, Kagami was once again appointed as the Hokage. After only a year or two of stabilizing Konoha + preparing his successor, he quickly gives Minato the hat, and retreats once again to retirement.

Minato makes Kakashi and Rin both ANBU, expressing his desire to have them by his side (at least this time they're slightly older, with Kakashi at 15 and Rin at 17) and puts them on home guard, specifically as Naruto's ANBU guards. It's an easy job, and helps Kakashi in particular to heal some, even if he gets even more rigid about things like rules and formalities

With Izuna as the first Hokage and Kagami as the third (and technical 5th) Uchiha-village relations were actually very good! Thanks to this, the Uchiha massacre was avoided entirely

Kakashi is raised pretty much as Naruto's very protective older brother, with Rin in a similar boat but she still has her own family so there isnt quite so much trauma fueled dependency from her end.

Naruto grows up to be alarmingly talented, with Kakashi and Rin tutoring him, and Minato and Kushina obviously doing their best (though Minato remains mostly busy due to the unfortunate realities of being a Hokage. Meanwhile Naruto is absolutely a total mommas boy)

Kakashi and Rin end up actually fighting over who gets to be Naruto's sensei (Naruto wants NEITHER OF THEM!!!!! HES A BIG BOY NOW STOP CODDLING HIM!!!!!)

Canon then proceeds mostly the same, though with some very obvious major changes

Somewhere along the way, Itachi is convinced to ditch Konoha even without the massacre, and later down the like Sasuke also follows suit to investigate what happened with his brother— though this time he leaves with orders from Minato to go undercover, and investigate Sound

(fucking THANKS dad!! -Naruto, probably, when he finds this out)

+ also I originally had some vague ideas for the 9 tails jinchuriki Sakura— with both her and Naruto eligible for the role when it times come to pass the responsibility down. Kushina ultimately going with the very selfish choice of not wanting her son to suffer the same fate as herself, choosing instead to vouch for the skilled civilian girl to take on the burden. Maybe incorporate that into it, that could be fun

BUT LIKE. Codependent queerplatonic besties Rin and Kakashi, some time around when they're fighting over who gets to be Naruto's sensei (Minato wants nothing to do with that argument, no matter who he picks someone is going to stab him so he refuses to make the choice himself) — and then somehow wind up in canon

Kakashi is so fun in that au, he's a LOT closer to being the strict, bratty kid he used to be than the lazy, perpetually late slack off we know and love in canon (although, despite his preaching about protocols, he can be alarmingly loose when it comes to bending rules to suit him. Being the special little guy of not just 1 but 2 Hokage's absoloutley made his bad habits so much worse, he can get away with almost anything and he knows it)

He also has some insane unresolved feelings ab his father's death, who is cemented as a hero both in his heart and the hearts of all of Konoha, for both his service and his sacrifice

Sakumo's death wasn't drowned out in the massacre of grief of literally all his loved ones dying in such quick succession, and so it's been given a lot more time and space to fester— Kakashi absoloutley has some revenge type shit going on with the "mystery masked man" who attacked Konoha and killed his father, and Rin stands beside him— having exacted a promise from him to not take on the burden of revenge alone ("that's what comrades are for, Kakashi!")

He can have his revenge quest but only if she gets to come with, you hear!! They probably had some huge blow up fight over it years ago that ended in like, and super dramatic blood pact to do this together. Yay friendship !!! If one of them dies the other will go insane.

Watch your fucking back Obito, if Kakashi becomes too emotional to kill you at the grand reveal, Rin will handle the "overcome by murderous rage" part on his behalf.

Anyways, throw them into cannon !!! Yippie !!!

The two Kakashi's can not look eachother in the eyes without canon!Kakashi developing a rather violent twitch and AU!Kakashi pulling on a face of pure disgust. They are everything they hate in a person and they share the same face. It's very uncomfortable for the both of them.

Having way too much fun specifically thinking ab them reacting to Sarutobi as Hokage— Sarutobi is not and has never been Hokage in their world, they have no idea what to do with this. He's one of the Hokage's advisors, but retired alongside Kagami, so he hasn't been politically relevant in years, not even as Sarutobi clan head since that position recently went to Asuma in their world.

Meanwhile Sarutobi and Danzo are going through all the stages of grief at the knowledge that Kagami was their 3rd Hokage, oh man are they Experiencing Emotions rn fr

That isn't even covering like. Oh hey! Btw! Sakumo was Hokage for a good few years!

(Multiple people looking at this strange, uptight version of Kakashi who very visibly seems to think he's better than 90% of the people in the room at any time: "....that checks out...")

Also!! This Kakashi has never heard people talk bad about his father bc Sakumo's mission never fucked up! The village loved that guy, even after so many years, Kakashi will still occasionally hear murmurs of "if only lord 4th was still around"

He is very much known as and proud of being "the son of lord 4th, the white fang, who died to keep the kyuubi from being released and killing us all"

I'm sure there were undoubtedly some people within Konoha who didn't especially like Sakumo, but even still, theyd never fucking DARE to say anything within earshot of Kakashi. Total death wish, why would u do that?

Obv, other countries no doubt celebrated his death (especially in Suna where he was wildly unpopular and deeply feared) but like. In Konoha? Nah people LOVE that guy, even after so many years.

All of that is to say that if a single person breathes wrong about Sakumo "deserving his death" Kakashi will go fucking insane on their ass. Immediatley. There will be blood. Rin will not hold him back.

Anyways silly Kakashi and Rin snippet time:

"So are you two— dating?"

"I'm out of her league." Kakashi says as simultaneously, Rin replies,

"The only thing that can get Kakashi up is a rule book"

"Isn't that right, Kashi-chan?"

"Can you not??"

"Oh, I'm sorry I forgot only your Kushina-neechan can call you that" Rin teased, and Kakashi turned a shade of red so bright he seemed to glow with it even under his mask.

"I was drunk!"

Rin gave him a comforting pat on the back that did absoloutley nothing to actually comfort him. "And you'll never live it down."

"I would be a great sensei!" Kakashi denied, very much ignoring the immediate noises of doubt and disbelief coming from everyone in their general area.

"You hate children!" Rin accused, pointing a disbelieving finger at him.

"I would be a great sensei for Naruto!" Kakashi corrected himself, and Rin rolled her eyes.

"And then what? You tie up the other 2 and leave them somewhere while you teach Naruto?"

"It'd be good for their character!"

"You were supposed to deny that that's what you'd do that, Kakashi!"

"Well if you like the other 2 so much, then you can teach them! And I'll just take Naruto!"

"He needs a team Kakashi!"

"Sensei said—"

"Sensei said you were a little bitch as a kid and a team is what helped straighten out your attitude."

"He did not!"

Rin sniffed. "Maybe he didn't use those exact words, but—"

"Well a team certainly didn't help your attitude, did it? And besides, you don't even like kids either!"

"Hmph. I'd make an exception, because I'm a good sensei."

I think Rin and Kakashi have genuinley fought exactly 2 times.

One was when Kakashi was spiraling a bit on his revenge quest for his dad and Rin got him to promise to let her in on the revenge so he didn't fucking kill himself alone trying to avenge Sakumo.

And one is their current, very petty arguing over who gets to be Naruto's sensei

(Team 7 ends up having 2 very enthusiastic sensei's, who also end up getting a stern talking to from both Minato and Naruto of all people about playing favorites. It's deeply embarrassing for everyone involved.)

I actually just need Rin and Kakashi very loudly arguing over who gets to be team 7s sensei while canon!team 7 stands there like ??????????

AU!Kakashi and Rin are nagging Canon!Kakashi about how lucky he is to be their sensei. Canon!Kakashi needs them to shut the fuck up and get out of his line of sight immediatley so he can have that mental breakdown he's overdue for

AU!Kakashi is going to cause problems for Canon!Kakashi on purpose. He's looking directly into his counterparts eyes and going "Wow Naruto you look just like ur dad. Who is my sensei btw. Did other me tell me that? You should ask him ab that. Sensei said I'd get to be ur big brother when u were born. Just so u know. Oh hey Sasuke! Wow it's sooo funny that ur on team 7 when I also helped train Itachi. Crazy."

He refuses to be silenced he thinks canon!Kakashi is being a cowardly little bitch and will not take "everyone I know died and I'm incredibly depressed" as any sort of reasoning, he's calling it an excuse and telling Kakashi to do better

(Rin is telling him to slow the fuck down and be nicer to himself)

The Kakashi's fucking HATEEEE eachother it's super awkward for literally everyone around them

Anyways the Uchiha massacre !!! in the AU, the Uchiha's relationship with the village is very good, they're incredibly well respected, powerful, and one of the centermost clans of Konoha. Arguably the centermost clan, especially since the Senju are pretty much all gone now

So the Uchiha massacre being a thing is totally out of nowhere and horrifying to Rin and Kakashi. Like, it would have been even if the Uchiha were in poor standing, but that's like THE clan!!! Holy shit!!! And they're— gone? Dead? Killed in their own homes?

They're both told Itachi did it and kinda uhh. Don't fully believe it.

Itachi did leave the village in their world, but peacefully and for unknown reasons still under investigation (and then there was a ton of fun stuff with Sasuke facing a ton of sudden pressure as the new clan heir) and Kakashi and Rin both knew him, having been on team Ro together, so there's a lot of disbelief at the idea that he could do such a thing

But also like, they are in an alternate dimension. One that honestly? Kind of seems to be the worst timeline to them.

Anyways uhhh also fun playing with the HUGE difference in how jinchuriki are treated in the two konohas— one in which the kyuubi was released and decimated a chunk of the village, and another where Obito was stopped before it was released, + their jinchuriki are known war heroes

(Rin was made into a war hero of her own right, coming back from their mission as the new sanbi jinchuriki. People like to say she bested the demon with her will of fire or smthn, it makes for a great story)

Obv they still face a lot of negative stigma (particularly from civilians) but nowhere NEAR as much as canon konoha. Plus like. One jinchuriki is the Hokage's beloved and popular wife, and the other is a war hero. So.

Rin and Kakashi are hearing that Naruto is the kyuubi's jinchuriki and staring blankly at whoever told them. In their world, Kushina still holds the title, and the clan council is in the middle of choosing who will be the next one (Sakura or Naruto)

Rin can help give him jinchuriki lessons!! They can bond over having demons in them <3

Also thinking about how since AU!Kakashi got more time w his dad, he's a lot more aware of and proud of his clan heritage as a Hatake. He wears his clan mon on his clothes just like his old man used to, loud and proud

It'd be cool if I grabbed a fistful from that other obkk child bride ghost marriage au where Rin survives and Kakashi gets kind of partially claimed by the Uchiha bc of Obito's eye + the ghost marriage

Not the ghost marriage part to be clear (Sakumo would never fucking allow it in a million years) but the "Kakashi kind of gets picked up by the scruff by the Uchiha bc of his sharingan and gets special lessons from them and lowkey becomes an honorary Uchiha" bit. Would give him even more reason to a) be really fucked up about the massacre + know Itachi, and b) approach Sasuke

Also it'd just be fun and super funky, especially for those around him reacting to it

Let him wear a shirt with the Hatake mon on one sleeve and the Uchiha mon on the other, in alignment with his eyes!!! It'll be fun!!! It'll be quirky!!!

(Also, it'd mean he's the special little guy of 2 Hokage's and the most important and powerful clan in Konoha. Even more reason for him to be the way he is. Also: infinitely funny.)

I have a couple more abstract thoughts but I think this has become more than long enough, so I'll stop there. But like !!!! Dimension travel my beloved

[liara-shadowsong]

So I have about a thousand terrible fanfic ideas, most of which will probably never see the light of day. I have one for Naruto that visually appears to go AU between the "Search for Tsunade" and "Sasuke Recovery Mission" arcs, but once you actually get into the meat of it, actually diverged from canon during the Third War. Various spoilers for canon below!!!

Basically, the whole "Sasuke leaving the village" plotline gets derailed before it can even properly get momentum (to clarify: he never leaves because Things Happen) going because practically as soon as Tsunade becomes Hokage, maybe during a modified version of "Land of Tea Escort Mission", two nominally-civilian-ish chakra users from a family that hails from Whirlpool Country show up requesting asylum, offering to enlist as Konoha shinobi in order to earn their keep, and things just sort of go topsy turvy.

One is named Umino Akira, and she is the younger sister of Iruka-sensei's father (she's about forty). She has been desperately trying to get reunited with her nephew for years, but because she was one of the ringleaders of a mass exodus of bloodlimit clans and other people in Kiri who were in danger of execution over fifteen years before, and as such was listed as a missing-nin for years until they gave up / assumed she was dead / Mei became Mizukage, her request was repeatedly denied even though the civilian members of the clan were allowed to move to the Fire Country capital in exchange for Iruka's parents serving as Konoha shinobi. She's a medic nin, but keeping a few other secrets (most of which are highly unlikely to bite anyone in Konoha in the butt, so Tsunade says yes to letting her in when Iruka vouches for her and the other member of her party).

The other person traveling with her is her vaguely-mid-twenties adoptive son, who she found nearly dead on a battlefield during the war, took in as her apprentice after saving his life, and later adopted after it became clear that even though the brain injury he incurred healed well enough that he has little to no loss of overall function... he has a degree of retrograde amnesia and he is unlikely to remember enough of his childhood to go back to his previous life (because he doesn't even know for sure what country he's from originally). He is a seal specialist, and his name is Umino Tobi. Yes, that Tobi. Iruka's Auntie got to him before Madara in this universe. :) And then, you know, Shenanigans Happen.

Also, this world's Naruto was raised by a series of ANBU nannies, and then moved in with Iruka and Anko after graduating (yes I ship Iruka and Anko, shut up they're cute). And after the Uchiha Massacre, Sasuke was taken in by a civilian friend of his parents who runs an omurice stand near the Hokage's office (she actually served as a genin until she quit/retired at sixteen to take an apprenticeship as a cook, and she's secretly Fugaku's bastard half sister... Fugaku's parents were an arranged marriage that happened after she was already born, and Fugaku's and Kaori's mothers were close friends with no bad blood between them).

Also also, Rin survived in this universe, but she works exclusively in the hospital and doesn't take out-of-village missions any more and doesn't appear in Bingo books as a result, so everyone in Kiri thinks she's dead even though she isn't. She's still a Jinchuriki, but hardly anyone knows because Kiri doesn't want to admit they misplaced an entire Biju. She was Naruto's pediatrician because he's Sensei's kid.

And as you can probably tell, anytime what I want contradicts canon, I just go "uh huh, that's the official propaganda story, here's what's really going on". So yeah, Thinky Thoughts that probably won't get turned into a real fic, but maybe they will.

[phoenixyfriend]

More "de-aged Taka and T7 end up in the Warring Clans Era as Founders' wards" AU

“That’s a thing?” you ask. The answer is yes.

Uh. Kind of. Deaging Team Seven for the sake of tossing them back in time for a Founder to adopt is pretty common, but I’m trash for Taka so this AU started with me brainstorming the asshole team.

I am falling more and more in love with the idea of Tobirama ending up with custody of Team Taka somehow. He’s a science dad, but like. Marginally more ethical than Orochimaru.

Everyone around them is like "This is a terrible idea and it's all going to end horribly" and he's just like "Ah, these are now my children."

I've read so many "Team Seven time-travels and is de-aged, get adopted by the Founders" or "a Founder time-travels forward and adopts Naruto, subsequently picking up the others" and they're good but I now want the same plot with an even more dysfunctional collection of... eldritch mishaps? The AO3 feel of "I want this fic I just read, again, but a step to the left so it feels fresh and new"

I'm considering the tent of tranquility idea (courtesy of @sloaners​) and I've come to the decision that Tobirama's... probably going to end up with Several Holes in it, and burns, and cuts, because Karin and Suigetsu never stop fighting, and if they're fighting, they're not paying attention to how soon Juugo's going to lose his grip on control.

"Hm. Tobirama?" "Anija." "Where did you get children?" "They showed up." "One of them looks like an Uchiha." "He does." "Two of them are trying to kill each other." "That's normal." "Are the Uchiha going to accuse us of stealing a clan child?" "Probably." "...Tobirama, did you steal these children?" "No."

(It's not kidnapping if they show up and break into your house first.)

(Also none of them are particularly pressed to ditch the Senju and find their clans. Maybe eventually. Not now.)

They’re assholes but Karin is, even at Supposedly Age Three, babbling at Tobirama about proper lab protocol and chemical reactions and isn’t that just the most adorable thing?

Very few people find Karin as adorable as Tobirama does, because Karin knows more ways to kill a person than most adult shinobi, because most adult shinobi don’t know about things like flesh-eating diseases and specialty poisons from the other side of the continent that can only be refined via chemical processes that won’t exist for another three decades.

Juugo is a sweetheart. Best child. Then he loses his mind but it’s okay, Sasuke is there. Do the Senju trust the clearly-Uchiha child to control the much larger five-year-old? No. But they don’t have any better ideas right now, so.

Tobirama: Hm, we should do something about that. Karin: Here’s a list of ideas and things that have already been tried. Tobirama: Thank you, small child. Where did you get this? Karin: ... Tobirama: Fair enough, let’s see what we can do.

Suigetsu is a little terror because not only is he a Massive Jerk but he also has better control over water than most adults. Mostly because he is water. It’s very hard to find him when he’s avoiding chores.

Karin clings to Mito sometimes because Family! and then Hashirama tries to tease Tobirama about being upset that one of his students/children has ditched him. Hashirama ends up moping in a corner because Tobirama snaps at him, unsurprisingly.

IDK if we have like any canon for Touka beyond skill with genjutsu, but going off of the fanon that she used a naginata, I’m going to say that Suigetsu keeps trying to challenge her to Blade Fights and she’s just like Neat, A Tiny Murder Machine.

Sasuke is very quiet for the most part and Dramatically Broods On Rooftops And In Trees and Hashirama is just like YES YOU REMIND ME OF MY BROTHER AND ALSO MY BEST FRIEND and Sasuke hides.

Sasuke does not need another Naruto, thank you.

Sasuke ends up hanging out with Mito, I think? Like yeah, sure, she’s an Uzumaki, but she’s chill and refined and calm and she has really good tea in stock. Sure he has to learn fuuinjutsu to have an excuse to hang out with her, but that’s fine. It’s interesting. Karin does it too, sometimes.

tbh that probably leaves Hashirama to hang out with Juugo? Juugo isn’t great at Excite but he is great at nature so I feel like Hashirama would be stars-in-eyes about Juugo talking to birds the way Hashirama talks to trees, and Hashirama just gets him a chicken coop like HERE. FRIENDS.

But back to the suspected child theft.

Hashirama is like “That is... clearly an Uchiha. They are going to find out, Tobirama! Someone is going to figure out we have--” “Sasuke, show him your other eye. Yeah, the one you cover.” “...” “Okay, go back to playing.” “...Tobirama.” “Yeah?” “That was a Rinnegan.” “You know those rumors that the only way to get a Rinnegan is to mix the Uchiha and Senju bloodlines?” “It’s true?” “No idea, Sasuke won’t tell me anything about his parents other than their names, and he’s three, but even the chance of it being true means we have an arguable claim.” “...that’s not going to be enough to convince the Uchiha.” “The theory is but one weapon of many in the upcoming battle of wits.” “Tobirama--” “Now if you’ll excuse me, Anija, I need to go make sure Suigetsu doesn’t flood the training grounds again.”

tbh I can’t remember who made the original comment in canon about the Rinnegan being achieved via Senju/Uchiha babies but it’s funny to use here so I’ll pretend it’s a common rumor that nobody actually believes

MEANWHILE WITH THE UCHIHA Madara found and took custody of Team Seven and company, mostly because they’re like... jounin-level despite being less than three feet tall.

It involves a lot of Madara going "I want My New Children to love me!" and being sorely disappointed by half of them. Poor fucker got stuck with Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Kakashi, Yamato, and Obito.

(KakaYamaObito are deaged by the time-travel to 10-13ish. The kids are deaged to 3-4. Everyone has memories to just after the fourth war or so.)

Karin sensed T7 and tagalong pretty much the second they popped out of Kamui, and told Sasuke, but he correctly guessed that Naruto would hunt him down eventually, and said they should enjoy the peace and quiet while they had it.

Sai pulls emotionless creepy smiles in an attempt to freak out Madara but since Madara's whole thing initially was "less children in war," he's... mostly just sad. Izuna wants to know who made his brother cry.

Madara makes a vaguely misogynistic comment that's typical for the period and Sakura just. Breaks his tibia.

Naruto is genuinely trying to treat Madara with the kind of respect a caretaker that Attempts To Care And Do Good By Them deserves, because Naruto is a good egg, but he's... three again. Which means he's a Hellion.

The literal toddlers (Naruto and Sakura are three-ish, Sai is four-ish) are, in fact, toddlers, so nobody really expects them to be able to do anything. Nobody bothers to test them beyond the basics of like. Can walk? Can talk? Can maybe hold knife? Like don’t get me wrong, they’re very competent toddlers, but their hands can barely wrap around a kunai. Their bodies are tiny. Their bones only just stopped being soft!

That said, the “tweens” (re: adults who got deaged but Less) have to get tested for their skills. Kakashi downplays himself to what he imagines a semi-competent eleven-year-old to be capable of. He thinks of, like, Neji maybe? Good, but not suspiciously good.

Obito enters an intangible state and refuses to participate. He has a Mangekyo. His body is half-Zetsu. Stop bothering him. He doesn’t want to do anything. They assign him babysitting duty for Team Seven since he can obviously defend pretty well, and Kakashi vouches for his abilities as a fighter.

Yamato decides to try to be just a little worse than Kakashi but at one point he panics and does Mokuton on instinct and now the entire Uchiha compound is screeching because did they just steal a Main Family Senju kid by accident?

Yamato: Should I tell them I was a science experiment? Kakashi: No.

Pranks galore! None of the other time-travelers even try to stop Naruto, except maybe Yamato.

Obito at the Uchiha compound is mostly "I don't want to participate" and then just uses Kamui to be intangible until people leave him alone. If it's not another time-traveler or Madara, he's not interested. He doesn't even care that much about Sai or Yamato, actually, so if it's not an original T7 member, he doesn't care, and if it's Madara, he's just here to make things Difficult.

The Kyuubi wanders up to the Uchiha compound one day and everyone's preparing for a battle, even Madara isn't confident that he can-- [BANG] "KURAMA!" [delighted squealing]

Naruto now has a pet. The entire clan is terrified. Kurama pokes his nose at Naruto's stomach and disappears into the memory of a seal.

Madara, frantically writing a letter to Hashirama "What do I do if my toddler is possessed?!?"

Hashirama: You have a toddler?!?!?! OMG you should organize playdates with Tobirama's kids! Madara: I'M GOING TO QUESTION THAT LATER, PLEASE HELP WITH THE POSSESSION THING

Kurama hunts down Naruto, and the Jinchuuriki situation is very much in the realm of "Dis Mine" Also a bit of "If I'm in the brat, there's at least one Mangekyo user in hearing distance who can and will risk his life to prevent brainwashing. (Kakashi. It’s Kakashi.)

Naruto: Kurama's one of my best friends! Every time traveler: Yeah, that tracks. Madara: [teakettle screeching]

Per @firebirdeternal​: I'm just loving the visual of Giant Nightmare Terror Kurama kneeling down and pressing his nose to Naruto's Smol Chubby Toddler self and closing his eyes while Naruto pets him and giggles and every single battle-ready Uchiha is just. "wat"

Everybody else: Cool so Madara adopted a witch Uchiha Elders: We need to be careful of this horrible creature The younger generation of Uchiha: Okay that was weirdly serene and adorable and frankly the brat is really likeable when he's not being adhd as hell I think this is actually pretty dope.

Madara really wants to be a Good Dad but he has no idea how he ended up being "a dad" in the first place. He just! He cares a lot about this random assortment of kids! Some of them are from prominent clans and there should be search parties for the Senju kid with the Mokuton, or the Hatake brat, or the Uzumaki that doesn't look Uzumaki but definitely feels Uzumaki.... and SURE the only Uchiha of the bunch is a stranger who hates him for no reason Madara can come up with, but! He wants to be a good authority figure!

At least the Uzumaki appreciates that he's trying.

Seriously, though, there are clan kids and nobody’s looking for them, what’s up with that?

Kakashi still has a prize copy of Icha Icha and nobody in the Uchiha compound does a thorough check of his reading material until like three months in.

He is blamed for Naruto developing the Oiroke, because where ELSE would a toddler get such ideas? (Yamato and Obito both tell him he brought this on himself.)

Naruto waits until a Big Important Meeting lets out, something about tithes or a merchant contract, and just pulls a Harem no Jutsu in front of the entire group of Elders And Main Family. First he does a Mass Shadow Clone, which makes everyone turn on Sharingan because Fancy New Techniques to steal! Sure, they were late on the shadow clones, but the kid is clearly gearing up for something! The something is Oiroke.

Anime Nosebleeds everywhere. Most of the elders were hit. Izuna was hit. Madara is not bleeding from the nose, but he is very upset about having semi-accidentally sharingan-memorized his weird adoptee’s Sexy Older Female Alter Ego. There is yelling.

Naruto’s like “Oh, I missed some!” and decides to try again with Reverse Harem no Jutsu because there are old ladies among the Elders, and maybe some straight women representing a guild, and maybe some gay guys he missed! Madara is still not bleeding. (He’s very demi and tbh Naruto only would have succeeded if he’d tried to use Hashirama’s face. Naruto does not know this. He just figures Madara is ace like Sasuke and that no variant is going to work.)

Izuna gets another nosebleed and is just like “Well, this is not how I planned on coming out as bi, but--” “Izuna, I literally do not care about you being bi as long as one of us has an heir at some point, I’m more upset about the fact that my child has been corrupted!”

Back in the Senju compound, there is... a lot of screaming, honestly, but every time Karin and Suigetsu start trying to kill each other again, Tobirama just shrugs and tells them not to break anything.

Very easy-going caretaker, really. He's got some very deadly toddlers in hand, but they're still just toddlers.

Sasuke: Yeah, I might want to go see my clan at some point. Suigetsu: Yeah, I might want to go see my clan at some point. Karin, clinging to Mito: Yeah, I want to go see my clan at some point. Juugo: Please never, ever take me to my clan. Ever. Please. I'll stay with Sasuke, thank you.

Naruto breaks out of the Uchiha compound the first time he enters Sage Mode, several months in (it took a while to get the privacy) because he feels Sasuke and lbr if Naruto knows where Sasuke is, nothing will stop him.

The Uchiha clansmen cannot catch the errant toddler. They fail to inform Madara until Naruto is already in Senju territory because nobody wanted to admit the toddler outmaneuvered them.

Naruto wasn’t sure how to get into the Senju Compound safely so he just goes full Kyuubi, bounds over the wall screaming SASUKEEEEE at the top of his lungs, and then shrinks back down to Tiny Brat size so he could hug his Bestest Friend Ever and cling like a limpet while Sasuke just sighs and stares at the wall.

Sakura ran after him.

Sai painted a bird and Yamato dragged Kakashi onto it to chase Naruto, because Kakashi is at a point of zen regarding Naruto's bullshit and fully trusts the kid to not die.

Obito refuses to look up from whatever he's doing and asks people why they think he cares.

“We told you to look after the toddlers!” “Why would you do that? Seems like poor planning on your part.”

Disappears when nobody's looking. Waits until the Ruckus at the Senju compound (where T7 has crashed in to tackle-hug Sasuke and Madara followed in and proceeded to get shouty, and nobody's dead or battling because they're too confused and also it's a comedy) has started to calm down, and then teleports in and demonstrates Mokuton just to make Madara's life harder when the Senju Elders start demanding answers.

His energy is very "I am here to make Madara's life harder" and Madara still doesn't know what he did wrong.

Madara: That brat has a Sharingan! Tobirama: Well THAT one has Mokuton! Obito: Yamato has it too. [angry teakettle noises]

Madara's first response to seeing Sasuke is to turn to Izuna and point aggressively at the toddler while making a tea-kettle noise "He looks just like you!" "He's four, he barely looks like anything!"

Naruto, tugging at Madara's hakama: You need to make a village with Hashirama so I can see Sasuke more often, cuz I don't wanna ditch you guys, but I gotta see Sasuke! He's my best friend! Madara, who is aware that he could fight this child but really doesn't want to, and also knows that a tantrum thrown by Naruto or Sasuke is capable of leveling mountains: Right, yes, we'll get right on that.

tbh Madara wants the village anyway but "The bijuu-whisperer said he wants it to happen" is a great way to push things forward.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Tsunade was willing to face the Konoha elders with fists in order to protect Naruto

Iruka was willing to die at Pein’s hand to keep Naruto safe, and was always standing at his side vouching for him.

Kakashi went against Tsunade’s order’s and village order’s twice for Naruto (and Sasuke in the case of Tsunade’s order’s)

Yamato preached not getting attached and then turbed around and was willing to fight everyone including Sakura for Naruto. When she confessed Yamato was ready to throw hands with a teenager and had to be stopped by Kakashi. He also vouched for Naruto when he told Kakashi he wanted to fight Kakazu alone

Naruto started life so alone, but in the end every single adult in his life was willing to fight for him no matter who they had to fight. Even if it was friends or superiors.