#who exist to torment and bully men

[fanfic-lover-girl]

Double Standards: Malfoys vs Potters Edition

It's interesting how people view the Malfoy vs Potter men. The Malfoys are often considered shallow while the Potters are lauded for befriending the "downtrodden".

James Potter befriended Remus Lupin, a disadvantaged werewolf. He and his friends became animagi for Lupin. That's great and all...but then why was Remus so hesitant to go against the status quo and speak out against the marauders - to do his job as prefect?

And James treated Wormtail like trash too.

‘How thick are you, Wormtail?’ said James impatiently. ‘You run round with a werewolf once a month –’

Nice to say that out loud where anyone can hear, Jamie.

‘Put that away, will you,’ said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer, ‘before Wormtail wets himself with excitement.’ Wormtail turned slightly pink, but James grinned.

“Lily and James only made you Secret Keeper because I suggested it,” Black hissed, so venomously that Pettigrew took a step backwards. “I thought it was the perfect plan… a bluff… Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they’d use a weak, talentless thing like you… it must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters.”

You really don't get the vibe that Sirius or James held little Petie in high regard, do you?

It can't be more obvious that Sirus and James were top dogs and Peter and Remus were just add-ons.

As for Harry, where to start with him? He shows little empathy for other people and has a nasty habit of describing people in dehumanizing ways (eg. Aberforth, Salazar Slytherin, Marcus etc). He has probably described Tom Riddle, the guy who murdered his parents, as attractive more times than his own girlfriend Ginny. He latched on to Ron because of his family and honestly, Hermione feels like a pity friend at times. Harry hardly likes being around her without Ron. Harry has another nasty habit of giving his best friends the silent treatment until they come crawling back to him, even when he is in the wrong too (re firebolt for Hermione and Ron believing Harry entered his name in the goblet of fire).

‘Hullo,’ said the boy, ‘Hogwarts too?’ ‘Yes,’ said Harry. ‘My father’s next door buying my books and mother’s up the street looking at wands,’ said the boy. He had a bored, drawling voice. ‘Then I’m going to drag them off to look at racing brooms. I don’t see why first-years can’t have their own. I think I’ll bully father into getting me one and I’ll smuggle it in somehow.’

Yet, no one seems to give Lucius and Draco any credit. These people are supposed to be snobby, pureblood supremacists. Yet, even though Harry was dressed in decrepit muggle clothes, Draco still engaged him in conversation. Draco had no idea who Harry was, had no clue he was famous at the time, and still made several efforts to talk with him and continue the conversation even when Harry was cold and aloof.

And Severus Snape moved off to the other side of the Hall, away from Lily, to where the Slytherins were cheering him, to where Lucius Malfoy, a prefect badge gleaming upon his chest, patted Snape on the back as he sat down beside him …

Lucius knows 'Snape' is not a pureblood name. He could see Snape's clothes were probably old hand-me-downs. He knows Snape is way below his class. Yet, he still welcomes Snape warmly to Slytherin. What reason would he have to fake pleasantries with a poor half-blood? I doubt Slughorn or the other bigoted purebloods would care if Lucius left his seat in disgust at Snape's presence. Even as adults, it is indicated in the narrative multiple times that Lucius holds Snape in high esteem. Draco held Snape in high esteem too despite being a halfblood.

The same Snape that James Potter tormented for no good reason - because Snape existed. Instead of targetting the purebloods like Avery and Mulciber, James and his delinquent loser gang went after Snape, the poor half-blood. Harry literally did nothing as Snape lay dying in the same shack that Lupin almost killed him in two decades prior.

Harry describes Pansy as being pug-faced...yet Draco still dated her. Even though Crabbe turned on him, Draco still grieved for him afterwards. Compared to Harry who only dates the prettiest girls and body shames other girls if they don't meet his standard and only cares about people who do things for him, like him and are loyal to him. It's only when the people he dislikes die for him that he changes his tune and suddenly they become great people.

How can people say the Potters are less shallow than the Malfoys??Draco and Lucius will always be high-class elitists who believe in sticking with their 'own kind' but give credit where credit is due.

[bbsmuts]

Draft List

This was an idea I got from reading @banananutsmuthie’s pinned post, seemed like a neat idea. Last updated: 2024/11/18

IN PROGRESS:

#1 title: Field Trip Part 3: Malkia Wa Makahaba Idol(s): BLACKPINK Jennie & Lisa, Jeon Somi, TWICE Sana & Momo, Everglow E:U, G-IDLE Minnie, ITZY Ryujin Words so far: 4.80k Expected words: ≈20-22k Expected release date: December 10th, 2024 Summary: After a long day of gangbangs following the events of FT2, Jennie, Lisa, the chief, and a few of the best men go to Korea to bring Somi back. On the way, they meet a few friends of Jennie's to add to the harem, and take them along with Somi back to the village. Though the others are much appreciated, Jennie remains the crowd favorite and secures her status forever as Malkia Wa Makahaba. Picture(s): (Adding them as I use them)

UPCOMING (SPOILER ALERTS) – (Already planned and on the list): (All release dates, idols, titles, and pictures are subject to change. These are listed in the order I'll most likely write them in.)

#1 title: The Fall of an Angel (no, literally) Idol(s): TWICE Tzuyu Expected words: ≈10k Expected release date: January 10th, 2025 Summary: In a dystopian world where the Demon Lord Yeo Kang-Dae (more commonly known as Lord Eodun) rules, only one individual is strong, brave, and fierce enough to stand up and resist his influence and power. The angelic hero, Chou Tzuyu, world-renowned as the White Lady or the One of Pure Heart. She is also known for being a pure, innocent, morally upright person who fights for the greater good of humanity. But one fateful day, when she launches an attack on Eodun, things take an unexpected and unwelcome turn as she is subdued, restrained, and forced into submission by the unending torment he makes her endure. She holds out for a long time, but his sadistic determination is unable to be beaten. Broken, defeated, and desperate to be released from this torment, she unwittingly agrees to do whatever he says to escape from it, and in so doing discovers a new, immoral part of herself she never knew existed before. Picture(s):

#2 title: Boss Taming Idol(s): TWICE Tzuyu (yes, again) Expected words: 9-10k Expected release date: January 31st, 2025 Summary: Sick and tired of being picked on and bullied by his bitchy boss, a resentful employee finally snaps at her one day, to a very different end than he expected. Picture(s):

#3 title: The Domination of a Doppelganger Idol(s): BLACKPINK Rose, Allissa Shin Expected words: ≈8k Expected release date: February 15th, 2025 Summary: Finally fed up with being bullied about her similar appearance to Rosé, Allissa Shin calls up a friend of hers who also knows Rosé personally, and arranges a little get together with both. Rosé, blissfully unaware of the purpose of the meetup, gets taught a few things about respecting her superiors. Picture(s):

#4 title: The Seven Realms of the Black Keep's Reign - Phase I Idol(s): A fucking lot of them, probably minimum 35 (haven't decided on them all yet, but imagine the number of tags there'll be) Expected words: At least 45k Expected release date: April 15th, 2025 Summary: Min Young-ho, the most powerful slave lord of all the land and the ruler of the Black Keep, is going about his daily life and activities with his loyal slaves when shouts sound from the gate. A mysterious girl riding alone enters as the gate is lowered. She desperately begs for help, saying she's being chased by a villainous figure named Soyeon. She says her name is Lee Ji-eun. After Young-ho escorts her to the tower and interrogates her a little, another call from the gate sounds as a group of slaves bearing a litter enters. From the litter steps a beautiful but wicked-looking woman who proclaims herself to be the terrible Soyeon of the Skull Realm. She demands Ji-eun back, describing her as her prey. He refuses, and she leaves, promising revenge. Before traveling to the West Stones for the awakening of the Dark One, Young-ho must collect all the necessary materials and substances by going around the land extracting said substances from their female possessors. Once the collection is complete, he travels with his most trusted advisor, Sihyeon, to the West Stones for the awakening. However, mid-ritual, he is interrupted and heavily injured by Soyeon, whose attacks are invulnerable to Sihyeon's magical abilities. Barely escaping with their lives and Young-ho unconcious, the two retire to the allied kingdom nearby. Picture(s): Will be coming when I do the smut

#5 title: The Seven Realms of the Black Keep's Reign - Phase II Idol(s): A fucking lot of them, probably minimum 35 Expected words: At least 40k Expected release date: June 1st, 2025 Summary: In exchange for keeping them safe and protected, Beomgyu, the king of the kingdom asks that Young-ho trains his daughter to be ready for her royal duties, as he is declining physically and mentally. Young-ho agrees, and begins the training with Beomgyu's beautiful daughter, Irene. During the course of her training, Irene and he become very close and, depending on how he plays it, he might be able to acquire another slave through her. Throughout the weeks of her training, he and Sihyeon are plotting how to take back the Black Keep and exact revenge on Soyeon. Young-ho speaks to her through a crystal ball Sihyeon procured, and is forced to choose between humiliating himself for Soyeon's pleasure or letting Ji-eun fall victim to her sadism. Him and Sihyeon finally formulate strategy and launch the first attack on the Black Keep to take it back and defeat Ravora. Picture(s): Will be coming when I do the smut

#6 title: The Seven Realms of the Black Keep's Reign - Phase III Idol(s): A fucking lot of them, probably minimum 35 Expected words: At least 50k Expected release date: August 1st, 2025 Summary: A ferocious and legendary battle ensues between Ravora and her army and Young-ho and his troops, with aid from Beongyu's kingdom. Just when it seems like their forces are winning, Soyeon herself enters the field and takes over the battle. With a few well-placed magical attacks, she kills Young-ho. Or so it would seem. The sky is just disappearing from his dying gaze when the deities he had to please to summon the Dark One appear and revive him. Offering a shield against magic, a magical attack, and a revival spell, the three of them help him drain Soyeon to her last ounce of strength. But she has one more trick up her sleeve. Using one last powerful spell, she transforms into a formidable beast, which is a sufficient enough threat that the deities lose faith and leave. Before the battle, Sihyeon gave him a dagger, a magically enchanted dagger. It proved useless in physical combat against Soyeon, but now she reveals its true purpose, and tells him he must stab her through the heart with it. Shocked and distraught but having no choice, he pushes the dagger into Sihyeon's chest and watches as she goes unconscious and Soyeon is drained of all her powers. And so Young-ho regains control of the Black Keep, and in so doing gains control of Soyeon and all her...assets. Over the next few weeks, Young-ho breaks down Soyeon's resolve to resist and builds up her lust through a series of humiliating tasks and punishments, compelling het to obey by promising her freedom. He attempts to contact Sihyeon in the spirit realm her soul's been transported to, and throughout the weeks he tames Soyeon he gets closer and closer to getting Sihyeon out. Until he succeeds. But something is terribly wrong. Picture(s): Will be coming when I do the smut

#7 title: The Seven Realms of the Black Keep's Reign - Finale Idol(s): A fucking lot of them, probably minimum 35 Expected words: ≈15k Expected release date: September 1st, 2025 Summary: The creature Young-ho brought back from the spirit realm was actually Ruka, the demon of destruction. (i'll be adding the rest later)

#8 title: Dog Lover's Dilemma Idol(s): BLACKPINK Jennie Expected words: ≈7k Expected release date: September 21st, 2025 Picture(s):

#9 title: Eight-Punch Knockout (you'll understand when I release it) Idol(s): EXID Jeonghwa Expected words: ≈5-6k Expected release date: October 10th, 2025 Picture(s):

[yourdeepestfathoms]

My Hopes For The P2 Changeling Route

Or, just some things I think would be neat to see when the time eventually comes for her route!

1. More of Clara being an emotional mess.

One thing I was REALLY surprised to see in the P1 Changeling route is just how emotionally tormented Clara is. She constantly expresses anxiety, stress, and even what seems to be depression. I mean, she literally has a line where she says she has been crying for several days. She is EXTREMELY distressed and tormented, something that I don’t really see people discuss very often. This emotional state is especially jarring because of how she acts in the Bachelor and Haruspex route, where she’s seen being snarky, cryptic, and kinda bratty. And then to play her route and see just how broken she actually is is very shocking.

P2 Clara is very different from P1 Clara. She’s less childish and more “mature,” though that maturity, at least to me, is very fragile, and you can tell this is a young girl pretending to be and acting like an adult because she has to. She’s way more bossy, way more snarky, and sometimes even comes across as rude (though—and this may just be because I’m a Clara defender until the day I die—I don’t believe she’s trying to be cruel or mean, I just think she has a really bad filter and says things that aren’t appropriate. not that any of those traits are even bad traits that make her a bad character. she is a teenage girl, or at least has the mind and body of one; that’s a very normal way for her to act, and i think it’s strange how some people shit on her because of that, despite her being a very accurate portrayal of a teenage girl—you know, minus the cryptic parts of her. but i digress!). I mean, she literally sasses off Artemy on several occasions, and Artemy is probably double her size, triple her weight, quadruple her strength, and has the power to kick her across the Steppe like a football—that’s the most teenage rebellion thing ever! And I’m sure in the Bachelor route, we’ll see even more of her being fiery and snarky because Daniil and Clara have, like, DOUBLE the beef compared to Artemy and Clara!

To have ALL OF THAT—all of that upturned nose sarcasm, that haughty “I’m smarter than you professionally trained doctors with medical degrees and a proper education” attitude, that bull-headed sassiness that makes you want to tell her to put her proverbial phone on the counter and go to her room—and then to get into the Changeling route and see that she’s actually very, very emotionally damaged and mentally ill would be a stark duality to how we’ve seen her in the past two routes. I think it would be especially surprising to those who never played P1 or at least never got to her route and never witnessed that side of her. The mask (haha) would slip off, and suddenly all of her vulnerability is raw and exposed and throbbing before our very eyes.

Because, at the end of the day, Clara is a child. She is a very young girl with obvious mental health issues and a mountain load of responsibilities chained upon her back, a young girl who is bullied and verbally abused and threatened by basically every single adult she comes in contact with (not you, Lara, you’re the real one), a young girl who has been forced to act like the adult she is not because all the grown ups in her life are too incompetent to do things themselves and would rather put it all on a child like she’s their personal work dog (i understand why this is from a gameplay standpoint, she’s the player character ofc she’s going to go off and do the quests, but Jesus fucking Christ, Maria, why are you repeatedly sending a tiny middle schooler to stop the gay men from killing each other?!), a young girl with one of the most, if not the most tragic and downright cruel existences I have ever seen in a character in all of my years of engaging in fiction.

Ahem.

I just have a lot of feelings about this character, okay?

But with the way Pathologic 2 presents it’s storytelling and with the new gameplay mechanics and how it REALLY digs into where it hurts, if IPL DOES use and revamp this aspect of Clara, I think it would make the Changeling route absolutely incredible story-wise and character-wise. An exquisite emotional rollercoaster that never seems to stop going downhill. It would be the best way to strike players where it aches the most.

OR TLDR: I want Clara’s emotional problems to be brought back and expanded upon in P2 so people can see she’s not just a sassy little gremlin child (because I have a lot of feelings about her character often being reduced to just that by the fandom.)

2. An expansion on Clara being the Sand Pest.

Out of everything on this list, I think this is the most likely to come into fruition because it’s a BIG THING with her. But I still wanted to discuss it anyway because I have Many Thoughts.

So, Clara is the Plague. We know this. But in P1, I feel like it wasn’t addressed as much as it really should have. I mean, this is a GIANT revelation—that this girl is the living embodiment of this horrible disease and thousands of deaths are, technically speaking, her fault—and it’s just kinda…swept under the rug. Clara has a moment where she’s like “WHAT” and then it isn’t brought up that much after that.

(And, for the record, I understand why this is. Everyone knows by now that the Changeling route was rushed. This isn’t me ragging on IPL, especially when the Changeling route is still INCREDIBLY well-done, to the point where I personally believe the statement that it’s rushed has been greatly exaggerated by players.)

In P2, I hope that Clara being the Sand Pest is a much bigger aspect of her character because it really is a Huge Thing that needs to be expanded upon. I want to see her have a full-blown mental collapse over this because you can’t tell me that that’s not the appropriate reaction to finding out you’re a living Plague.

3. Interactions with the Sand Pest

I’m referencing that one particular Executor that shows up in P2 to taunt Artemy about killing his kids. During my run, I referred to it as “Sandy,” so for this portion, the bird is Sandy for simplicity.

So, I want Clara to interact with Sandy!

It was terrifying enough for Artemy to face off against this thing, but imagine being Clara, staring into the glowing eyes of what is essentially herself. And she’s forced to grapple with this thing, fight against the consequences of an existence she never asked for, and be constantly reminded that with every breath she takes, she’s stealing the breath from someone else.

4. More interactions between the three Mistresses

The Clara-Maria-Capella trio is really underrated in my opinion, and I hope we get to see more of those three interacting. Because we have Capella and Maria, who clearly already have this established relationship and actually like or at least respect each other, and then suddenly Clara is there, throwing off their, for lack of better words, vibe. (I just know Capella and Maria gossip about Clara when she isn’t in the Nutshell).

5. More interactions with the Albino

The relationship between Clara and the Albino is so adorable and wholesome, and Clara deserves this inkling of kinship and love that he gives her. It’s such an underrated dynamic and interaction that happens in P1, and I REALLY want to see it happen again in P2.

I hope Clara gets to meet all those Albinos that Artemy saw in the Abattoir. I think it would be cute if she just had this flock of brothers.

6. An expansion on how Clara’s powers can just backfire and kill people on accident instead of healing them

I think there were two people Clara accidentally kills in P1- Lika and that mugger outside of Barley’s lair. It’s not mentioned at all with the mugger, and then with Lika, Clara freaks out briefly and then is like “anyway…”

This “power”—the ability to kill people with a single touch—REALLY needs to be expanded upon. Because it is a GOLDMINE for trauma and guilt. It’s also just something that needs to be explored way more because it’s a really interesting concept that P1 never gave much details about.

7. A deeper look into Clara’s existence as a child of Earth

I just really love that she is a dirt child and think it’s super cool part of her character, and I want her to have a deeper connection to those roots (pun intended). The lore in the game and the Steppe culture is so interesting, and it could be explored way more through the eyes of Clara, who is new to it, whereas Artemy knew most of it and Daniil just doesn’t fucking care to learn.

8. No more “stop the gay men from killing each other” quests

As funny as the concept of this small child stopping two sexually tensive men from beating the shit out of each other is, it got REALLY OLD after the second time. At the very least, the dialogue that you get when you speak to Artemy and Daniil each time should be different every day. If they hadn’t said the same thing Every Single Time, I think I wouldn’t have minded the repetitive quests as much.

9. Bring back the Barbie Blaster

Clara is clearly bigger and a little older than she was in P1, but I hope her hands are still too tiny to hold normal guns because I honestly really liked that little mechanic. It made her different than the other two. Also the baby gun you get is literally the best gun ever, idk what hbomberguy was talking about, that thing NEVER missed for me.

10. This funky healing mechanic I thought about

So, I started wondering about something- how is healing going to work in both the Changeling and Bachelor route? After all, they can’t exactly use tinctures anymore. But given how stupidly hard the game is, I wouldn’t be surprised if it expects you to get actual medicine yourself and make yourself go broke.

I then thought about this funky mechanic! I just wanted to put it here instead of making an entirely different post.

So, instead of using tinctures, Clara uses her hands. There are the three layers, like in the Haruspex route, and depending on which layer is afflicted, Clara suffers some kind of penalty while healing the patient, whether it be hunger, exhaustion, or thirst. This makes it to where she can’t just heal people without any sort of price to pay AND it makes her healing way more important because it really was just referenced in the first game. There were less than a handful of times where she ACTUALLY healed someone (not counting the Plague victims, as that is entirely optional). So with this she ACTUALLY heals people and has a very obvious power.

(Side note: maybe the less health Clara has, the less likely she is to heal people and instead accidentally kill them. Or if she’s infected, then she kills her patient or even infects them—or raises their infection level altogether if they’re already infected.)

11. An expansion on how Clara’s healing powers literally hurt her

Empathic healing, where a person has the power to heal but they heal by essentially absorbing the ailment of a person into their own body, is SUCH a good concept, and I don’t know if this was what IPL was actually going for, but I really want Clara getting hurt when she heals to be a bigger thing in her route. Because she DOES take damage when she heals Plague victims, and MAYBE that’s just a balance thing in the game, but even still! A lot of good game mechanics can come into play if healing harms her!

12. More Lara and Yulia interactions

I don’t have much to say about this, I just really like those two and want them to talk to Clara way more

13. A cool opening animation of her birth from the Earth

Artemy got the train sequence, Daniil is probably gonna get him slogging through the Steppe because it seems like brother really fucking walked all the way to the Town, so it would make a lot of sense for Clara’s opening to be her clawing her way out of the Earth and waking up in the graveyard! I know IPL could make a really cool sequence with that, so I have high hopes.

[drivinmeinsane]

Holiday Party ※ 12 Days of Goosemas

Day Five ※ Julian Thompson / Reader

{12 Days of Goosemas Masterlist} ※ {Regular Masterlist} ※ {ao3}

※ Summary: Julian's brother always hosts the worst parties. This one is no different.

※ Rating: 18+ for explicit mature content.

※ Content/Tags: Pre-Canon, Questionable Relationship Dynamics, AFAB!Reader, Prostitution, Fingering, Erectile Dysfunction, Canon-typical Bullying/Harassment

※ Word count: 1449

※ Status: Oneshot/Complete

Mirrors make it impossible to hide. Even now, as you pull your dress up over your chest, you can see Julian reflected behind you. Your employer is seated with his hands firmly gripping the armrests as though he might be tempted to do something else if he were not hanging on so tightly that the skin is bleached white over his knuckles. He’s been having to restrain himself more and more frequently. Lately, he has been having you blindfold him in addition to tying him into place, leaving him to bite his lips bloody at the sounds of you pleasuring yourself. 

The dress that he had mutely requested you wear for tonight is scandalously short. It barely covers your crotch, the entirety of your legs are on display. Despite its revealing nature, it fits the kind of party that you will be attending with Julian tonight. His ever generous brother has decided he is going to host a holiday party to “give Thailand a taste of real American culture”. It’s a thinly veiled excuse to host a sex party. Billy makes your skin crawl and the way he treats Julian is appalling. 

You’re putting the finishing touches on your hair when you catch movement in the mirror. Julian has stood up and is approaching you while he fishes a small box out of his pocket. He opens it and tosses the empty box aside once he has retrieved the object from inside. It’s a necklace. He brings it over your head and you bare your throat to him so he can drape it over the column of your neck. You then tip your chin down. His fingers make the barest contact with the skin at your nape.

“Zip me up?” You ask him quietly.

He finds the zipper nestled in the small of your back. Over your shoulder, you watch the way he lingers. He closes his eyes and makes a motion as though he was going to kiss the side of your neck or your exposed shoulder. He refrains, his knuckles drag up your spine as he slowly works the zipper of your dress closed. Julian hooks the small latch and steps back, looking pained. You let out the breath that you’ve been holding and resist the urge to bridge the growing gap between the two of you. 

Before you head out the door to the venue, Julian offers you a suit jacket, his own, and you slip it on over your shoulders for warmth. The only sounds on the walk through the streets are the distant rumbles of the occasional car, the clack of your heels on the pavement, and the softly rustling fabric of your clothes. Your employer doesn’t speak during the journey, he rarely does anyway. You can understand why. 

You know that Billy and his groupies will have some kind of complaint prepared the minute they lay eyes on the man at your side. They always do. Little Julian just isn’t good enough. He doesn’t have a big enough dick, doesn’t fuck as well as his brother, isn’t mean enough, isn’t perverted enough. He’s too quiet, too loud. Why don’t you talk, Julian? Why don’t you ever shut up, Julian? Why don’t you just kill yourself, Julian? It doesn’t matter what he does. He exists and that is a crime worth punishment on its own.

The party goes as predicted. The men initially try to paw at you because you belong to Julian. They end up being bitterly disappointed because you don’t seem to care about the man who has bought your time, and he does not seem to pay you any special attention either. If neither of you care, there is no fun in using your relationship as another way to torment Julian. 

Smoke hangs heavy in the air as the guests begin to take seats for the night amongst the gaudy decorations. Their chosen company drapes their bodies over them, teasing and touching if not borderline fucking right there in plain sight. A few of the men go to the stage and obnoxiously start belting out Christmas songs in a mixture of Thai and broken English. 

Julian sits down with some sort of festively garnished Old Fashioned in a glass. You take a seat on his lap. He tenses. You pay it no mind and catch his free hand, putting his arm around you and nestling against his side. He needs comfort even if he would never admit it. You've gotten good at knowing what your employer needs and how much of it you can give to him before he withdraws. One by one, the other men start to trickle out of the party hall with their purchased company.

“Merry Christmas, brother.” Julian’s sibling says to him with a sneer as he takes his own leave. “Shame your dick doesn't work or that pretty thing on your lap might actually get some action for once.”

Billy departs, a pair concerningly young girls with him, leaving you and Julian alone. The man’s hand is warm against your side, and you feel the occasional tremor run though him. You desperately want to tell Julian that his brother is a scum of the Earth asshole whose opinion doesn’t matter, but you don’t. Your employer is unwaveringly loyal to his family outwardly despite whatever he might believe privately in the less beat-down parts of his mind. 

Pushing the boundaries tonight, you decide to make him feel as though he is needed. You’ve come to genuinely care about the man. You press your face against the side of his neck, feeling the jump of his throat, the uptick in his pulse. You want to mouth at the sensitive skin, but you don’t. It would be too much for him. The two of you rest there and breathe for a moment, letting Julian’s pulse come down.

On his own accord, the hand not resting on your side moves to cover one of your exposed knees. It lingers for a while before he slowly starts easing it up and over the curve of your thigh. His fingertips reach the hem of your dress and pause there. You spread your legs in silent encouragement, the motion hikes the material up higher. He takes the hint and continues. His thumb comes to rest at the inside of your thigh, barely avoiding the juncture of your legs. You nod against his neck and his fingers hook over the waistband of your underwear. In one smooth movement, he pulls them down and off before his hand returns to its previous home. You take it in yours and insistently press it against yourself, letting him cup the shape of you in his palm, letting him feel the wetness of you against his skin. 

His fingers dive between your lips and you have to stifle a moan against his neck. Encouraged, his fingers gather slickness up at your entrance and glide over your clit. He circles it and your body twitches and flexes under his touch. You’re dripping, the tissue becoming engorged as Julian primes you to fuck you with his fingers. He slips two of them into your body, his pointer and his middle. He pumps them inside, shallow thrusts with a slight crook to them on each outward drag. His thumb finds your clit and steadily rubs against it. 

In response, you grab at his shoulder with your left hand, squeezing down tightly enough that he lets out a small, pleased grunt. You’re rewarded with an uptick in speed, your cunt clenches around his fingers. The sounds filling the empty room are obscenely wet.

A firm press to your swollen clit and the grind of his thick fingers inside of you is what sends you over the edge. Your thighs clamp down around his wrist and he works you through your orgasm. You muffle your moans against his neck, daring to kiss it with frantic scrapes of your teeth and needy lips. The hand on your waist tightens warningly but he doesn’t stop you. He’s shuddering right along with you, his legs trembling. You know he’s come soft, untouched in his dress pants. 

Julian pulls his hand free, you reflexively clench around nothing. He puts his fingers in his mouth to suck them clean, tasting you, before tugging the hem of your dress back down to a barely more modest length. He makes no effort to push you off of him, and you make no movements to vacate. The two of you simply exist in this false wonderland. You’re just as out of place as the presence of the festive decorations in this room. There is no point in fighting your shared fate. 

[changeling-droneco]

"You have to make men miserable" no, i refuse to give into that kind of rhetoric, im going to hug my dad and assure him I'm going to be okay, I'm going to talk to my male friends who are scared or hurting and keep being their friends, you can decide you dont want to be involved with someone without tormenting them, without going out of your way to cause more suffering for just what? Petty revenge? Shit's and giggles? Transphobia? Snap back at rude people sure, don't take shit, but my goal will never ever ever be to add more suffering in the world.

My entire philosophy is that the point of life and existence is to reduce overall human suffering, which includes your own. That's the point of life, to make shit better for each other, to make life kinder. Sometimes this means that painful things must be done because you need to clean a wound before it can heal, and of course you must be able to defend yourself, but causing purposeful harm just because? That's just being a bully, and in this case an active saboteur by making people DISTRUST you and your message, by making them not want to listen to you, your fucking OPTICS.

No one actually listens to the person punching them in the face, people don't trust your message when its spread in tandem with violence, and you know who they WILL listen to? Who WILL embrace them? People who will treat them with basic human decency and like they're part of the community even if the organization is dangerous and promotes hate, people crave bonds! We're a social species! If you deny someone the ability to make community in one place! they will seek it out in another! That's a big part of radicalization, or people who get pulled into cults!

[fingersinmyhair]

Heey Billy I saw that you wanted some Eric newlon/ John Carver requests so here are some different fanfic ideas ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

1. Eric takes the reader on a date but everything that could go wrong does go wrong. For example the restaurant messed up his reservation so they have to go somewhere else and then it starts raining. So at the end of the night Eric all bummed out that his date went all wrong but then reader tells him that they had a great time because they got to spend time with him and that they didn't care what they did as long as they were together

2. Let's say John was about to get rid of another victim but when he's about to do so he finds out that this man is an alcoholic and treats his spouse or kid (up to you really) really shitty. The man berates them yells at them saying they can't do anything right and that they wish never married or had them and that they were a mistake and wish they just never existed and how they're the reason he's like this

3. You know the scene where Eric was questioning one of the main girls about the Black Friday night You could do that but with the reader maybe they work there that night and they got hurt maybe they lost an arm or leg and was very hurt when they saw that douchebag's video that was making fun of everything that happened that night they goes to Eric and tells him everything they knows

4. Maybe you could do headcanons about Eric and his daughter from that previous request I sent you or a part two of the fic or a fic about how he found out she was being bullied. Or maybe her perspective when her parents were divorcing

5. And if you want to fic with no reader you can make one about John Carver questioning the dude who made that YouTube video talking about all the deaths that happened on Black Friday the year before and how we thought they were so funny. so funny enough he made a video about it and that he inspired him to make his own video but with different targets.

6. You could write a fic about John's perspective when he's doing all these killings What was going through his mind at the moment. Maybe he felt guilty at the beginning or maybe he got a sick thrill from it

7. What if you changed what happened at the end of the movie instead of the final girl revealing that Eric Is John what if he realized what she was doing and instead made it sound like the final girl was John Carver instead and that she got punished for his crimes so he In the end he got away with it scotch-free

8. Maybe you can do a fic about Eric and Amanda and how they first started their affair and what sparked their desire for each other maybe it's the reason Eric's wife left him

I hope this helps you Billy I really like your fics and headcannons Have a fantastic day and night Don't forget to eat and drink water (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

6. Through his eyes

All he felt was rage, desire to end the life of everyone involved in the death of the family he was building. Every time he imagined Amanda in the hospital giving birth to their baby, every time he imagined holding that sweet little thing for the first time... He wished he had an endless supply of heads to axe open.

He did, here in Plymouth, but he had a mission and he was going to keep it.

He tormented the woman in the diner, Lizzie, ripping the skin off her face as she'd been responsible for scalping the love of his life. With a fucking shopping cart.

He only started to feel guilt after the fact each time, having no time to feel guilty compared to the thrill he got from serving justice, warm and comforting. He was comforted. Nobody else was. That was okay with him.

When he'd pretend to be sick and tell his men to cover it up, he would have a sickness in his gut, an ill feeling he needed to get out of him.

(( Ill be saving some of these for later as well omg THANK YOUUUU

[theelectronicstranger]

Ultimate X-Men #4 Discussion

          If you have not read this issue, then please don’t read this discussion right now. I would highly suggest getting this issue and then reading this discussion later on.

Trigger Warning: For some talks of suicide, bullying, and self-harm.

          Theres a lot I want to talk about regarding this issue, so I’m going to be a little bit everywhere this discussion. The first thing I want to talk about is Nico Minoru. In the last issue, we see her look at Hisako and Mei and identify them as mutants; but in this issue, we still don’t really know if she has powers or is a mutant as well:

I’m really interested in how this Nico Minoru is different from the main universe version of Nico Minoru. I actually thought we were going to learn more about her this issue or have some confirmations on what she is, but we only get hints that she might be psychic in this universe, or her parents are psychic. I really want to know if that magnifying glass that she’s holding in that page up above is the “Staff of One” or a version of it. I also would like to know if the little girl with the bunny ears that she hangs out with is this universe’s version of Molly Hayes. I would love it if a version of the Runaways existed in this universe. I haven’t seen them since the Ranbow Rowell run a few years back, so I miss them.

          Next, I want to talk about Hisako. In this issue, we finally saw her riding a motorcycle:

In issue 2, her mother was talking about Hisako taking motorcycle riding lessons, so we finally got to see her with one. I just really like her design in her motorcycle outfit. I think she looks so cool in it. Also, later on in the LEXICON page we actually find out that the bike she’s riding is her late father’s motorcycle, the 1980 Honda Raccoon, and the leather jacket that she’s wearing is her mother’s:

I like the idea that while she’s going home or going anywhere that she has a piece of both her mother and her father with her. Like it’s there to protect her or just be with her if anything ever goes wrong.

          Speaking of, in this issue, we also see Hisako meet a man that seemed to be one of Tsubasa’s bullies from the basketball team. He seems to be under the influence of the Shadow King (Still not confirmed if it is the Shadow King or not. I’m just using that name for him because that’s what I’ve been using since issue 1):

What I don’t like about this guy is that he’s blaming Tsubasa or Tsubasa’s death for all the bad things that are happening now and he’s ignoring the fact that he was complicit to bullying someone until they committed suicide. He doesn’t even think for a second that these bad things might be happening because they treated someone so poorly that that person killed themselves. Sure, this person is probably influenced by the Shadow King, but I think the Shadow King wouldn’t be influencing him as much if he didn’t have these awful and dark thoughts with him. He probably wouldn’t be under the Shadow King’s control if he had repented or at least thought that what he did was wrong in any way. In just a few panels and a few pieces of dialogue, Peach Momoko made me really hate this guy because I’ve seen so many of these bullies that don’t ever think that what they’ve done is wrong and always deflects the blame on their victims. They almost always never see that they’re in the wrong and that they were being an awful person.

I also want to talk about the last panel up top with Tsubasa’s head. That felt like such a haunting panel, specifically, for Hisako. Imagine being haunted and being disturbed by the death of a close friend of yours and you see their head detached like that. The Shadow King has been messing with Hisako since issue 1 with images of the dead Tsubasa and I just hope that Hisako doesn’t succumb to these torments. This detached head also kind of implies that Tsubasa might not have hung himself. In the issue we actually saw this bully, who is under the control of the Shadow King, show Hisako how Tsubasa “really” died:

I’m not sure if this is the Shadow King just tormenting Hisako or if this Shadow King actually knows that this is how Tsubasa died, but either way these pages are really haunting, and makes me question more on who the Shadow King is to Tsubasa and to Hisako. Was he also a friend of Tsubasa? Or was another victim of these bullies? Also, I’m not sure if this bully was an illusion created by the Shadow King to mess with Hisako or if he was actually there because in the next page, we just see a bunch of people recording Hisako and she seems to be alone:

I’m not really sure if the bully, Amano, was there or if it was just the Shadow King’s illusion. The only reason why I’m making a point of it is because a lot of people are recording Hisako in that last panel and if the bully was there then they might pin his suicide on Hisako because they now know that she’s a mutant. We don’t really know how mutants are perceived and treated in this universe. I feel like the Maker, when he was perverting and recreating this world in his image, would have made sure that people would look down on mutants, so I am worried about what’s going to happen with Hisako next. What I do like about this panel is that when people were taking pictures and videos of Hisako with her powers on display, that you can see Mei get really worried for her, so she rushes to her aid and fries everyone’s phones, so they don’t have any evidence of Hisako being a mutant:

I love that Mei does this because it shows that she has Hisako’s back whenever she needs help. Furthermore, by helping Hisako, Mei effectively outs herself as being mutant as well. What I like about that is that she didn’t really think much of it; she just knew that her friend needed help so she did all she could do to help. I really like that Hisako and Mei found one another because they’ve both had a really awful year based on the last few issues and they both needed someone to be there for them. Unfortunately, even after all this work to hide that they’re mutants, somebody still got a recording of them both using their powers:

I have no clue who this character is and why she might want to out Mei and Hisako, but I’m very interested in finding out. I honestly want to know what happens next in this book because I really want to know how mutants are seen and treated in this universe.

          I’m really loving Ultimate X-Men as you can probably tell. I think Peach Momoko has been crushing it with the art and the writing for this series. I honestly don’t know where this story is going to go and how Peach Momoko is going to show us more of mutantkind in this universe, but I am excited. However, I feel like there’s a lot going on right now because we still kind of need to figure out what the Shadow King’s motives are; how mutants are seen in this world; is there an X-Men in this world; what does the Shadow King want with Hisako; and what really happened to Tsubasa. That kind of worries me a bit but I trust Peach Momoko enough to kind of pull all these stories together.

          Thank you for reading my discussion on Ultimate X-Men #4. Sorry, it took me awhile to post this by the way. I’ve just been very busy, and this heat is kind of destroying me right now. I also try to post these discussions 2-4 weeks after the book came out so that people would have had a chance to pick the issue up. I use a lot of the pages for the comic, and I really want these discussions to encourage people to buy and support these books rather than be a substitute for them. If I have not said it enough, I do think that this title is worth buying not just for the story but for Peach Momoko’s art as well. Anyways, let me know what you guys thought about the issue and what the aftermath of people finding out that Hisako is a mutant will be? Also, the next Discussion should be about Ultimate Spider-Man #6 and that should be out at the end of the week hopefully.

[asoiaf-source]

Joffrey Baratheon & Ramsey Bolton

I sometimes imagine just how different the story would be if Joffery were more ‘normal’, or more like Myrcella or Tommen in temperament. GRRM literally made him this sociopath in order for him to be able to kill off Eddard, I think. He needed someone in power (King), who was volatile, wasn’t politically savvy, looking to exert his new found power, and unchecked - ie Joffrey, to get that shocking death moment. I mean if Joffrey was like Tommen... would any of this had happened? Joffrey being a sociopath is a critical aspect of the major events in the story, first he tries to have Bran killed (dagger clue), then attacks Mycah and Arya which leads to a fall out between Sansa and her family, and then he beheads Eddard... all of these moments ramped up the tensions between the families that eventually escalate to war.

I guess I always thought it was a tad ‘convenient’ or ‘lazy’ that Joffery was as sociopathic as he is, he is more than just a spoiled or bully kid with power, GRRM had him torment and kill cats as a child - that is sociopath / psychopath 101, especially by 90s and Stephen King standards. He is still spoiled and enabled by Cersei of course. Might have been more interesting if he was smarter, or older, or just not so conveniently sociopathic, so we can’t easily just dismiss him as a character like we often do with Ramsey as a character. What is there to really analysis, when ‘sociopathic psychopath’ is usually the answer for most of their worst behaviors.  Whether you are born with a silver spoon or a poor bastard, being a morally functional sociopathic (yes, they exist) male in that day and age would be a miracle. Whatever the ‘grievance’ is twisted in the worst way and leads to worst outcomes. 

I will say that Ramsey is an improvement over Joffrey, perhaps because he is older, smarter, more ambitious and calculating character. He feels more effective and threatening an antagonist than Joffery could be, even though Joffrey was a King with ultimate power, he was just too young and thus still manageable to fully exercise it. You hate Joffrey, but never really fear him or what he would do, especially after Tywin arrives to control him.

There are quite a lot of sociopaths in ASOIAF, they are more than just corrupt or classist or bigoted, their behavior is more disturbing. Qyburn, Euron, Gregor and his ‘men’ are a few others that make the sociopathic list, each managing to find shelter under the ‘law’ or a corrupt lord to cover/mask their deviant behaviors, or in Euron’s case just take to the seas where there is no ‘law’. Does GRRM conveniently use sociopaths too much, or is it just a natural that such people would act with less regard to consequences, especially in such a time period... not afraid to take advantage of situations and thus more visible?

I need to think about all the antagonists characters in ASOIAF and how similar/different they all are. Only a few are given POVs so I guess I don’t think about them as much, but it is something different to think and talk about. who are they, who do they work for or against, what purpose do they serve in the narrative... and for some, do they have a point and ultimately are they working for a greater purpose (Varys, Melisandre) like they think they are, or is that just another excuse for callous behaviour and/or plotting?

[denimbex1986]

I recall watching the 1978 TV miniseries Holocaust when it premiered and having a reaction similar to, as I learned, a number of journalists. The series, about the murder (in the context of the Nazi rampage), of a German-Jewish family named Weis, has a crudity that made some dismiss the series out of hand, although it became useful as a teaching tool, introducing those who won’t read to the major events and places of the Nazi genocide. One issue, however, is the Hollywood-handsome cast, and how few of Holocaust’s actors were in any way recognizable as Jewish citizens of Western Europe. We don’t want caricature (such as with Bradley Cooper’s [another non-Jew] absurd, outsize prosthetic nose for his role as Leonard Bernstein in the forthcoming Maestro), but we see here an old problem, namely the Hollywood refusal, for the most part, to deal in ethnicity not Anglo-Saxon. We therefore have name-changing, hair-straightening, and make-up that will make actors conform to preferred white models. Holocaust might be the problem writ fairly large in its day; the more contemporary model might be the summer 2023 hit, Christopher Nolan’s blockbuster Oppenheimer. This film, paired with a far larger 2023 hit, Barbie (which gives acceptable politics to the doll once condemned by feminism), together formed a calculated phenomenon called “Barbenheimer,” together making well over a billion dollars and keeping theaters open a trifle longer, fading as they are in the wake of “streaming” and other asocial media consumption.

The story of the “father of the atom bomb,” Oppenheimer presents a crucially important tale about a Jewish intellectual who stands in a pantheon, reminding us of the Jewish mind’s centrality to the advancement of human consciousness, and essential resistance (there are important exceptions that tend to prove the rule) to reactionary forces in the human narrative. There are people whose contributions to the human intellect are extraordinary. They include Spinoza, Marx, Freud, Einstein, Kafka – I’ll add Bob Dylan, our Nobel (I say “our” to represent both Jews and the generation of the 1960s, the true “greatest generation,” if we must have one, for its inquiry), and J. Robert Oppenheimer, who transformed our notion of Being. In the film, J. Robert Oppenheimer is played by Cillian Murphy, an Irish actor popular for his role in the “streaming” TV series Peaky Blinders. Oppenheimer did such impressive business that Murphy is already a strong candidate at the next Oscar ceremony. But in no way can I say he conveys anything like the essence, and not the details, of the scientist-poet who made the hellish “gadget” (as it was nicknamed during its development).

I have thought of Oppenheimer as the “scientific Kafka.” There is some physical resemblance; both, as young men (Kafka did not have a long life) had shocks of dark hair, Oppenheimer’s worn to the right. They had pointed features, and above all notable gazes. Kafka’s eyes were penetrating, looking into the horrors of the century which at times seems his alone. Oppenheimer’s eyes, and countenance, were poignantly sad. Both men understood persecution, at personal and intellectual levels, Kafka the great master of persecution narrative in The Trial and other works, many destroyed, Oppenheimer, tormented in school, locked in a freezer by bullies. He tended to bring on the torment, since for all his intellect he could not understands the culture of the bully, as child or adult, unwisely showing off his intellect.

Toward the end of his life, the Oppenheimer sadness seems overwhelming, not only because of the loss of government clearance (for a man who permitted the U.S. government to exist by allowing its “victory”), but because of the truth he witnessed. He is known for, among other quotes, the apocalyptic line from the Bhagavad-Gita, said by Vishnu to the Prince: “I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” This, in the context of a late interview, was filmed in tight close-up, as Oppenheimer wiped an eye, holding his pipe. He is an old and stricken man, still not really advanced in age. In the Nolan film, we get the line, in one form or other, several times, once when he is in the middle of sex. Sex, as an affirmation of life over death, isn’t inappropriate, but here it is simply adolescent, lacking in instruction. This, with other moments, loses Oppenheimer.

As a Jew, Oppenheimer is lost many times. He was well aware of Hitler’s plans for the Jews of Europe simply by watching the lunatic and taking the daily press seriously, also knowing that what his research would unleash would destroy Europe. But he was too late, faced with the prospect of “winning the war” by wiping out Japan. Anti-Semitism would be addressed only in the affirmative, with Oppenheimer the archetypal propitiatory victim.

This topic needs attention. To me, the book by far the most useful on the dropping of the atomic bomb is Gar Alperovitz’s The Decision to Use the Atomic Bomb (1995). This meticulous book dispenses once and for all with notions that the bomb was the only way to bring the “Japs” to heel, and that the bomb was the only way to “win” the war in the Pacific, which would have been at the cost, so the story goes, of millions of lives had the bomb not been used. Japan, by late 1944, was surrounded, facing the prospect of a Russian invasion, out of food and other provisions. The emperor might well have demanded fealty to the bitter end, but this would assume he was of the same cynical pragmatism as the American brass, the same savage immorality as Harry S. Truman, our “common sense” president, whose down-home wisdom is revealed in Merle Miller’s interview book Plain Speaking (1973). The same plain-spoken man informs us of his lack of conscience, so when he made the decision for genocide, he didn’t mull over it, he wasn’t a “crybaby” (as he accused Oppenheimer of being). He was the man from Missouri, the “show me” state, the state that opted for slavery, bringing about the Missouri Compromise on slavery in 1820, thus assuring the ultimate cataclysm. Truman needs much examination indeed. An entertaining start is the 1982 satirical documentary The Atomic Café, which shows Truman on camera announcing the bomb, preceding his remarks with a little smirk to the newsmen, then, putting on his serious face, implores god to make sure the bomb is used for “His purposes.” A priest appears, as if to bolster Truman, suggesting that people take “protective devices” with them into the home fallout shelter once the H-bomb became a reality. Truman was the common-sense guy who got behind the National Security Act of 1947, creating the alphabet soup of intelligence organizations including the CIA. He argued for “Soviet containment,” but the U.S. was equally contained, as Truman prepared the country for McCarthyism. For a time, especially during the Reagan era, Truman Democrats stood out in the halls of state, as people who had no truck with liberalism and the Sixties rabble. Oppenheimer had reason to cry.

The men who opted to blow up two fragile cities filled with women, children, and the elderly, were nothing but monsters. But was Oppenheimer among them? Of course he was. This Universal Man, who thought that ultimate questions could be answered more by the humanities than the sciences, was a cheerleader. In the Nolan film, Murphy/Oppenheimer addresses his scientists at Los Alamos post-bomb. At one point, a shaken “Oppie”, as he was known, envisions his audience, the skin melting from their bodies. This is the moment of Oppie’s empathy, so it seems. But what about the Japanese children with melting skin hanging from their bodies like so much dripping chocolate? Is the newsreel footage of the Hiroshima/Nagasaki catastrophe simply passe? Or is it in bad taste, judged so by the man who made three Batman films?

The destruction produced by Oppenheimer would have a place in the science-fiction cinema, where giant bugs and lizards would be used as inadequate metaphor, since Oppenheimer showed us that in an instant the human race could become a myth. Edward Teller, the Joker/Lex Luthor/Dr. Strangelove of the tale, drove the point home a thousand times over with his H-bomb. Here, Oppie becomes the most inert, impotent Superman, shriveled from being out of the sunlight too long, bathing instead in the poison of the bomb.

It has been reported that after the success of the bomb, Oppie was known to stride about Los Alamos in a manner reminiscent of Gary Cooper in High Noon. This makes sense. He wanted, for a long time, to replace the sissy with the superman, the boyish Jew with the macho man. General Leslie Groves, in charge of the project, let Oppie wear the slouch hat, the bomber jacket (or the sport coat), even an Army uniform (he was reminded that this was too much), and place the project in New Mexico, where he could ride horses and survey the land like a real cowboy.

I couldn’t help in watching this film but be reminded of the TV series Breaking Bad, about which I’ve written. The show is about a family man, a scientist (he knows much, but his peculiar sense of self consigns him to high school instruction) also in New Mexico, who stops being a teacher, deciding instead to manufacture an addictive drop, a perfected one, in massive quantity, as he goes about bolstering his reckless ego and annihilating domestic life. Is Walter White a symbol of American masculinity equal to Robert Oppenheimer? Certainly not. White would not go crying to Harry Truman. Oppenheimer retained the ability to cry, even on the cusp of the TV western’s hegemony, which White would have enjoined. And White could care less about recommending to Einstein that T.S. Eliot be brought to the Institute for Advanced Study at Princeton, to meld the humanities to advanced physics (F.R. Leavis might have brought up his tirade against C.P. Snow and the “two cultures,” but I think Oppenheimer would have had Leavis’s favored answer – we have only one culture).

The complexity of the Oppenheimer personality is lost in this movie, which becomes grindingly tedious, especially in its last hour. We are faced with endless shots/countershots of Oppie vs. bureaucrats out to nail him for not getting with the program, and being sympathetic to “commies.” This story is well-known. We need its drama, and the factors causing Oppie’s promotion by the press after the bomb (the basics, are, again, well-known), and his utter dismissal as a sacrificial lamb at the start of the Cold War. We are deprived of the factors transforming him into the destroyer of worlds, as well as those making him into the pathetic cowboy, and the smart aleck who could not mount a sensible defense in the face of imbeciles without being a stupid, juvenile comedian. He seemed to understand that Shakespeare, Donne, T.S. Eliot, and the French Symbolists, might save us, not theoretical physics. Or perhaps these coupled together. We’ll never know.

There is a compelling documentary of some thirty years ago entitled The Day After Trinity. There isn’t a lot of revelatory data, but it doesn’t engage in posturing, as is the case with Oppenheimer. Trinity gives us some privileged moments of Oppenheimer, as much an enigma as the artists and scientists he admired. Could he, had he not crumbled, informed us why we exist? He seemed to toy with the preposterous but central question; it’s entertaining to speculate, but perhaps a waste of time, especially as the humanities are dismissed.'

[femfuriaaa]

Y’know,  I  still  wanna  make  Stella  blog  on  the  low-key  but  I  really  think  people  would  not  like  her.  I  made  the  Stella  blog.  Here's  some  insight  into  how  I  view  her  inner  workings.  She  wont  be  “one-dimensional”  by  any  means  but  I  don’t  intend  to  victimize  her  or  “erase”  anything  between  her and  Stolas,  no  matter  how  “bad”  she  may�� look  in  the  process.  Her  reasons  exist  but  whether  they’re  overly  good  ones  could  be  challenged.  None  the  less  she’s  not  the  asshole  in  her  own  mind.  She’s  always  been  a  haughty,  snotty  brat  with  a  vile  temper and  a  nasty  streak. But  its  true  a  lot  of  her  anger  at  least  toward  Stolas  is  because  of  the  arranged  marriage.  Because  she,  also,  did  not  want  to  be  married  to  someone  she  had  never  met.  She  further  never  liked  Stolas  because  she  instantly  took  him  for  a  loser and  a  push  over.  Stolas  did  nothing  to  reassure  her  that  he  was  anything  else,  which  made  her  marriage  to  him  even  more  uncomfortable.  That  is  to  say  there  seems  to  be  a  clear  contrast  between  Stolas and  a  lot  of  other  members  of  the  royal  avian  demon  sect,  whatever  we’re  calling  it.   Stoals  was  disinterested  in  Stella  from  day  one,  the  feeling  was  mutual,  which  didn’t  help  their  situation  yet  also  Stolas  was  romantic,  sensitive  soft-hearted and  intellectual.

These  have  been  parts  of  who  Stoals  is  since  he  was  a  child.  This   behavior  got  him  labelled  weird  and  meant  he  didn’t  have  any  friends.  No  one  liked  him.  This  carried  into  his  adulthood.  Stoals  was  repeatedly  the  “odd  one”.  He  likes  romance  and  books  and gardening.  Not  exactly  demonic  behavior.  I  don’t  know,  I  feel  like  while  its  OBVIOUS  demons  have  varied  personalities and  interests  they’re  probably  heavily  inclined  to  shun  the  more  “soft  hearted”  among  them.

And  I  think  its  very  clear  Stolas  is  not  really  a  demon  who’s  living  up  to  what  seems  “right”  for  one. He's  not  really  fierce  or  mean  or  macho.  Despite  being  royalty  he  even  seems  to  show  minimal  classism.  (  He  was  scolded  as  a  child  for  “bowing”  to  Blitzo )  Stella  hated  this  from  day  one.  Just  like  Stolas  was  able  to  see  a  picture  of  little  Stella and  KNOW  she’s  not  the  kind  of  person  he  was  compatible  with,  Stella  was  able  to  get  one  look  at  Stolas  and  say  oh  for  fuck  sake  really,  this  is  who  you’re  putting  me  with ?  Again,  it  just  got  worse  from  there.  But  it  was  royal  duty.  Neither  had  any  say.  So  here  we  have  Stella,  with  her  horrible  temper,  her  classism and  elitism,  her  being  raised  this  way  and  following  the  ideals  of  how  royalty and  perhaps  how  “demons”  and  perhaps  even  “men”  should  be and  act,  and  here  is  Stolas  dumb  ass  crapping  over  the  lot  of  it. 

What's  worse  is  he  can’t  even  seem  to  get  it  together  for  duties  sake  or  for  the  sake  of  appearances.  She  feels  as  if  she’s  left  doing  everything  and   carrying  the  whole  marriage.  All  their  “Duties” and  “responsibilities”  she  feels  are  placed  on  her  shoulders  alone.  Yet  Stolas,  being  the  “”man””  is  more  credited  to  them.  And because  it  was  clear  from  the  get-go  that  Stolas  was  gonna  embarrass  himself,  in  her  eyes,  hence  embarrassing  HER,  again  in  her  mind,  and  not  fight  back  when  she  rebukes  him ?  Naturally  she  began  to  abuse  him  without  mercy.  She  is  a  bully,  sure,  but  her  anger  is  coming  from  a  deeper  place  then  just  an  enjoyment  of  bullying.   So,  yes,  she  takes  vicious  pleasure  in  tormenting  him.  She  thinks  he  deserves  it and  due  to  Stolas  not  fighting  back  throughout  their  whole  marriage  she  thinks  she's  right  in  what  she's  doing.  She  has  no  respect  for  him.  Part  of  her  WOULD  HAVE  LIKED  HIM  to  stand  up  to  her.  She  thinks  maybe  she  could  have  RESPECTED  him  then.  But  the  bigger  part  doesn’t  think  he  has  the  right and now  that  she's  actually  experiencing  some  type  of  rebellion and  resistance  from  him   she's  utterly  incensed  by  it  because  HOW  DARE  HE.  Particularly  over  an  IMP ?   She  was  getting  pleasure  out  of  exerting  control  over  him,  yes,  it  was  pretty  much  the  only  pleasure  she  could  derive  out  of  the  whole  marriage.  The  entire  point  of  throwing  a  “not  divorced”  party  is  to  flaunt  this.  She  did  nothing  but  insult,  humiliate and  berate  him  in  front  of  their  friends  /  family and  it  amused  her ( and  apparently  them )  to  no  end  that  he  just  took  that.  Every  not  divorced  party  was  a  big  joke  about  how  much  she  could  fuck  with  him and  how  stupid and  pathetic  he  was  for  taking  it.  In  many  ways  she  was  CHALLANGING  him  to  do  something.  To  stand  up  for  himself.  To  take  the  reigns  like  she  felt  he  should.  But  no,  this  didn’t  happen.  At  least  not  until  the  most  inappropriate  time.  Like  I  said  part  of  her  would  have  LOVED  him  to  stand  up  to  her.  It  would  be  ugly,  so  ugly,  because  even  if  he  did  she  wouldn’t  take  it  laying  down, but  she  believes  she  could  have  respected  him  if  he  did.  That  at  least  if  he  wasn’t  going  to  step  up  and  “wear  the  pants”  she  so  hoped  he  would  end  it  because  she  would  LOVE  to  get  out  of  the  marriage and  that's  what  she  was  always  hoping  for  but  Stolas  just  did  not  have  the BALLS  to  end  it  for  her  and  save  her  pride.  In  her  mind  if  he  was  gonna  leave  he  should  have  stepped  up and  did  it  years  ago.   But  now  that  he  IS  standing  up  to  her ?  Now  that  he  IS  leaving  her ?  No. The  circumstances  are  totally  wrong.  Its  selfish,  its  humiliating.  She  doesn’t  love  him,  she  doesn’t  feel  cheated  on,  but  he's  doing  this  all  over  some  imp  dick.  He  couldn’t  do  it  FOR  HER,  as  twisted  as  that  seems.  She  made  no  secret  of  disliking  him,  of  how  angry and  miserable  she  was,  but  he  stayed  around !  He  kept  her  trapped.   She  doesn’t  seem  to  care  that  much  or  understand  that  the  real  reason  he  “stayed  around”  was  not  to  insult  her  or  lock  her  into  a  relationship  she  hated,  it  was  for  Octavia.  Because  Stella’s  perspective  on  this  is  also  warped  due  to  Octavia's  conception. 

In  the  sense  that  she  explains  that  Stolas  couldn’t  even  fulfil  his  duty  in  the  bedroom,  the  whole  point  of  their  marriage,  and  get  her  pregnant.  She  had  to  literally  do  it  herself  while  he  laid  there  and  stared  at  the  wall.  This  was,  actually,  the  real  moment  that  she  decided  she  hated  him.  This  moment  completely  defined  their  marriage for her. So much of her anger and hate toward him within their marriage filters back to this for her.

 I  do  think  Stella  cares  about  her  daughter,  but  she  is  self  cantered  as  all  hell and  I  don’t  think  she  would  fully  see  the  beauty  in  Stolas  idea  of  trying  to  give  Octavia  a  good,  happy  childhood.  No  one  did  that  for  Stella.  She  had  responsibilities.  She  had  an  unwanted  marriage and  the  uncomfortable  duties  of  that  hanging  over  her  head  since  she  was  like  11  which  only  worsened  as  she  got  older.  So  there  is  also  a  small  layer  of  jealousy  for  the  fact  that  her  daughter  did  get  to  have  a  “good”  childhood and   she  didn't.  Another  fact  is  Stella  feels  jealous  of  Stolas’  relationship  with  Octavia and   as  a  result  it  makes  her  distant  with  her  daughter  and   ever  more  outraged  at  Stolas.  In  her  mind  he  didn’t  do  anything  to  get  the  daughter  he  fawns  over  so  severely and   its  really  just  another  example  of  Stolas  reaping  the  rewards  of  HER  hard  work. 

 None  the  less  this  doesn’t  matter,  Octavia  isn’t  entering  her  mind  too  much,  Stolas  is  the  focus and   the   POS  here  and  he  has  to  pay.  I  kinda  hope  that  Octavia  winds  up  being  the  thing  that  makes  her  realize  she  needs  to  just  let  it  go  but  I  don’t  put  too  much  stock  in  it.  I’m  worried  it’ll  go  the  opposite  way  but  whatever,  I  can  hope  not  as  I  want  to  portray  Stella  as,  in  spite  of  her  bad,  does  love  her  daughter.  Her  feelings  are  just  extremely  complex. 

[rangeminmax]

Good copy chapter 3

Chapter 3: The Serpent's Gambit - Il Velenoso Reptilio

Growing up, people always told me I had a thing for girls. I can't forget the way they spoke about it, as if it was a spell I cast on them. My mother, with her words always wrapped in a motherly tone, often recounted how I fearlessly approached girls and kissed them, often without any prior introduction. I held no reservations; I was the fearless explorer of affection.

My playground of choice was the vicinity of Footscray Primary School. Here, on the benches beside the school's sturdy fence, I forged my early friendships with girls. There, the seeds of companionship were sown, and the whispers of childhood secrets filled the air.

One day, an adult, perhaps motivated by their own mysterious wisdom, imparted a curious piece of advice. They told me to emulate the existence of a prison inmate, to walk the path of confinement even though I was within the school's bounds. "Cut laps," they urged, as if it were the key to evading the relentless bullies who tormented me. Oddly, their counsel worked like a charm, casting a mystic shield around me. The bullies, like shadowy specters, retreated into the depths of their doubts. The other kids noticed me; it was as if I had harnessed a magical incantation.

Despite my newfound alliance with the boys who once eluded me, I remained drawn to the girls, my first comrades in this bewildering world. They held a unique allure, and even as popularity among boys beckoned, my heart still gravitated towards those first friendships.

Then came the incident that etched itself into my memory. A game among children, innocent yet tinged with mischief, led to a girl's skirt being lifted. She, in a daring manner, urged me to elevate it further. I complied, like an unwitting accomplice in a childish caper. Suddenly, like a thunderstorm on a clear day, the teacher descended upon us, her words striking like lightning. Her sternness forced me to confront the gravity of my actions. Even as I returned to my terrace residence, greeted by approving adult men offering a barrage of congratulatory dead arms and affirmations of "Well done," my mother wore a somber expression. She banished me to my room, a form of silent reproach, and possibly a suspension.

Fast forward to a different chapter of my life, and we find ourselves in the bustling market. As I stood there, it became evident that the Don had orchestrated an elaborate jest with a Chinese or Vietnamese family. Their daughter was cast in the role of Eve from the timeless tale of Adam and Eve. With her Asian features, raven-black hair, and a pristine white dress adorned with a ribbon in her hair, she exuded an ethereal charm. A tiny brown dot, not a mole but a beauty spot, adorned her cheek. She was the epitome of grace and allure. In my mind, I bestowed upon her the name 'Karma' since her true name eluded me, and I sensed this name would hold significance as our story unfolded.

Karma, with an apple in hand, called out to me, mirroring the age-old temptation in the Garden of Eden. The bats fluttered overhead, their dark wings casting eerie shadows that seemed to whisper ancient secrets. My old teddy bear, a steadfast companion, remained firmly clutched in my hand, as if it were a guardian in this enigmatic realm.

The market enveloped us in a sensory symphony. The air was saturated with the intoxicating aroma of fruits, their sweetness tantalizingly potent. Amidst this olfactory dance, a faint whiff of overripe fruit lingered, teasing the senses with a hint of decay. The shadows, cast by the rhythmic dance of forklifts, assumed identities as varied as the pages of a surreal playbill - the Phantom's Embrace, the Midnight Waltz, and the Dusky Minuet.

My hesitation to accept the apple was not born of ignorance but rather an awareness that this was another of the Don's jests. I knew the Don and the families were hidden somewhere in the complex, orchestrating this elaborate charade, perhaps laughing heartily at my expense. In the end, I did take the apple, yet I couldn't bring myself to eat it. There was an undeniable symbolism in that moment, a weight I couldn't ignore. If fate had destined me to eat an apple, it would have been a different one. The destiny of that particular apple remained a mystery, lost in the labyrinthine shadows of the market.

Another week had passed, and the opportunity to visit the market had presented itself once more. The mere prospect of going filled me with an electric excitement. Stepping into the market was like entering a realm where possibilities knew no bounds. It was a place where I could almost reach out and touch the elusive shadows that wove their intricate tapestry, a dance of silhouettes and shapes that defied definition.

As was my custom, I perched upon my trusty crate, staking my claim on the familiar spot. From there, I observed the Don as he conducted his rounds, a master orchestrating his clandestine symphony. The buzzing in my veins grew stronger, an unspoken yearning to be a part of this enigmatic world.

Bolstered by a newfound confidence, I leaped off the crate and approached the Don. With a determination that bordered on audacity, I offered my services. I was willing to work for him, to undertake any task he deemed fit. However, his response caught me off guard.

He brought up the incident from our previous encounter, the moment when I inadvertently snitched on him. I stammered, pleading ignorance, but he dismissed my concerns. His enigmatic demeanor hinted at a mysterious plan in motion.

Undeterred, I pressed on, eager to prove my worth. I mentioned my ability to handle John's job, driving the forklift. I regaled them with stories of how John had taught me during lunch breaks, performing reckless wheelies across the car park where the morning truckloads awaited. Laughter erupted from the Don and his companion, the one in the Raiders cap, an enigmatic figure in his own right. He wasn't an employee but more of an aide, exempt from the obligation to wear the high-visibility clothing that marked the others.

The Don's amusement resonated through the market, echoing in the shadows. And then, the Don, with a twinkle in his eye, proposed a daring challenge. There, beside us, sat a forklift, its forks pointing towards a pallet laden with apples, a mere ten meters away. He challenged me to pick up the crate and transport it to another section of the market, a task that appeared deceptively simple.

Fuelled by ambition and a touch of recklessness, I clambered onto the forklift, eager to prove myself. In my haste, I neglected to adjust the forks, leaving them perilously close to the ground. I revved the engine and, with my feet barely reaching the pedals, I lurched forward. The forklift bucked like a wild stallion, and I, standing with my head practically touching the ceiling wheel, clung to the controls.

Chaos ensued as I lost control from the very start, the forklift careening into the stack of apple crates with a resounding crash. Apples tumbled out of the shattered boxes, littering the floor like fallen soldiers on a chaotic battlefield. My head took a bump as it collided with the steering wheel, but I played it cool, brushing myself off as I dismounted from the forklift.

The market now had a new spectacle: a heap of apples scattered across the floor. But instead of anger or reproach, the Don's laughter echoed through the market. He laughed, hearty and unrestrained, joined by the Raiders cap-wearing companion and a few other onlookers who had witnessed my escapade.

As I glanced at the apples strewn about, I couldn't help but wonder if there was more to this situation than met the eye. The Don had declined my offer to pick up the fallen apples, suggesting that others would handle the cleanup. In this world of shadows and subterfuge, even a mishap like this could serve a clandestine purpose, a layer in the intricate tapestry of money laundering and covert operations.

The night, like a vast cloak of obsidian, descended upon the market, casting its dominion over all. Dawn lingered on the fringes, a distant promise yet unfulfilled. It was a realm betwixt worlds, and as I stood there, I could feel myself teetering on the precipice of dreams. But then, a presence materialized, emerging from the very shadows that clung to the market's periphery. It was the Don, a figure draped in an air of enigmatic authority, his presence amplified by the man with the Raiders hat who stood beside him. Together, they brought with them an eerie gangster vibe that seemed to pulse with the heartbeat of the night.

The Don's voice, sharp as a dagger's edge, cleaved through the night's stillness, an imperious demand for my attention. "What brings you here? Do you still yearn to work for me?" His words lingered in the air like tendrils of mist. Without a moment's hesitation, I replied, my resolve unwavering, "Of course, I stand ready. What task requires my hand?"

In response, the Don gestured for me to follow, initiating a journey that wove through the labyrinthine market. We traversed alleys veiled in shadow, the very essence of secrecy and intrigue. Our path led us toward the market's outermost fringes, to an exterior shed concealed beyond the confines of the car park. Here, barriers akin to colossal concrete sentinels stood sentinel, fortifications that we nimbly vaulted over. Each leap felt like a dance with the night, evoking the prowess of a seasoned outlaw, all while my Raiders hat-clad companion marveled at my agility.

As our daring escapade unfolded, I found myself revealing a hidden facet of my identity that sent ripples through the night's tapestry. The Don, his curiosity piqued, delved into my family history, prompting me to disclose that my father bore the name Michael Kelly. I uttered it with reverence, and their reactions mirrored a profound revelation, as though they had glimpsed a spectral figure from days gone by.

The Don, in an attempt to connect the dots, mentioned a certain John as my father. With a sly grin, I corrected this misunderstanding, asserting, "I am James Kelly. Michael Kelly is my father." Understanding descended upon them, and I seized the moment to beseech the Don, "Can you help me locate my estranged father?"

Approaching the twin door sheds, our odyssey led us to a cryptic threshold. Here, the Don produced a jingling set of keys, like a sorcerer revealing his arcane implements, and with practiced hands, he removed the heavy padlock barring our way. The gate swung open, granting us passage.

The shed loomed ahead, a realm veiled in darkness and steeped in the pungent aroma of decaying fruits and vegetables. The scent, a cocktail of spoiled produce, hung in the air, a reminder of the sort of cargo one dare not carry on public transport in Vietnam. Within these shadowed confines, discarded remnants of food created a haunting tableau, where bags and beans intermingled with the ghosts of culinary delights.

My mission was laid bare before me — to recover a bag concealed within this sprawling abyss. To reach it, I had to navigate a treacherous path, where broken pallets and bins laden with rotting fruit lay strewn like the wreckage of forgotten dreams. Following in the footsteps of past explorers, I ventured forth, guided by a faint trail. Yet, before I embarked on this perilous journey, the Don issued a chilling warning, one that invoked the very essence of the shadows we navigated.

He spoke of infamous snakes, guardians of these forsaken bags. Their venomous bite was a dire consequence for any who dared to trespass upon this kingdom of discarded delights. It was a treacherous haven, where rats, mice, bandicoots, rabbits, and bats were drawn to the promise of nourishment, only to face the wrath of these serpentine sentinels.

Undeterred, I ventured deeper into the abyss, my senses attuned to the shadows that enveloped me. The bag, a repository brimming with bricks, beckoned, its weight a testament to my commitment. As I shouldered the burden, it felt like an unspoken pact forged in the very heart of the night. With the bag in hand, I retraced my steps through the eerie shed, emerging from its depths like a lone wanderer returning from the abyss. My mission was complete, and I presented the bag to the Don, its contents a mysterious secret held in the palm of my hand.

[z34l0t]

"These attacks are not merely “violence” in some general sense, nor are they similar to other gun crimes classified as “mass shootings” beyond the number of victims. Drug-war shoot-outs and gang vendettas are awful, but they are better-understood problems, in both their origins and possible remedies. The Lost Boys, however, are the perpetrators of out-of-the-blue massacres of innocents. Their actions are not driven by criminal gain, but instead are meant to shock us, to make us grieve, and finally, to force us to acknowledge the miserable existence of the young men behind the triggers."

[...]

"The Lost Boys are mostly young and male, largely middle- or working-class. Frustrated by their own social awkwardness, they are so often described as “loners” that the trope has been around from as early as the 1980s. But these young males, no matter how “quiet,” are filled with an astonishing level of enraged resentment and entitlement about their roles as men, and they seek rationalizations for inflicting violence on a society they think has both ignored and injured them. They become what the German writer Hans Magnus Enzensberger called “radical losers,” unsuccessful men who feel that they have been denied their dominant role in society and who then channel their blunted male social impulses toward destruction."

"And they are, above all, staggeringly narcissistic. Almost all of the recent mass killers, for example, thought they had a special mission in the world. We know this because they felt compelled to tell us so."

[...]

"Many of the Lost Boys claim to represent various causes derived from a wide spectrum of sources—sexism, racism, religious bigotry, conspiracy kookery, and anti-government extremism among them. (Nor are all of these aimless young men killers: When I first examined this problem, I also identified a type of Lost Boy who convinces himself that he’s doing good, such as Bowe Bergdahl, who thought of himself as the fictional action hero Jason Bourne when he deserted his military unit in Afghanistan in 2009, and Edward Snowden, who is the embodiment of a particular kind of nonviolent but nonetheless highly destructive misfit.)"

"Narcissism is a common malady, but for the Lost Boys, it is the indispensable primer for a bomb whose core is an unstable mass of insecurities about masculine identity. This, of course, helps explain why such spectacular and ghastly acts are an almost entirely male phenomenon. Women, who are less prone to commit violence in general, are rarely the perpetrators of these kinds of senseless massacres. In general, they do not share the same juvenile fantasies of power and dominance that are common to adolescent boys. Nor do they tend to harbor the same resentments about sex and status that are common to all teenagers but that in the Lost Boys persist beyond adolescence and soon grow to volcanic levels."

[...]

"Fear of women and hatred of minorities, animosity toward authority, patterns of absent or dysfunctional fathers, histories of being bullied, romance with symbols of power, conflicts of identity and sexuality—we can catalog at length the similarities among these young misfits. They are, in the main, scared and narcissistic boys, and like many boys teetering on the cusp of manhood, they are tormented by paradoxes: insecure but drenched in self-regard, fearful yet brave, full of self-doubt yet fascinated by heroism. For most males, this is a transitory part of adolescence. For the Lost Boys, it is a permanent condition, a deadly combination of stubborn immaturity and towering narcissism."

[1-1-s1ay-2-2]

What universal love means to me! 💜

I'll have you know...I LOVE EVERYONE!...except men. lmfgeo

I love POC -- the most beautiful people on Earth -- and of the original tribes of God our Father in Heaven. Talented, skilled, intelligent, exotic, alluring, inspiring, miraculous...just to name a few of the aspects that make POC amazing! POC are worth more than all the gold in the world. WOC specifically. They've had it the hardest. Being a woman in a man's world is not an easy feat, but being a WOC in a man's world is the most difficult feat because you got WOC in other countries being violently attacked, abused, burnt, and killed. You got WOC being enslaved still to this day. That is a worldwide issue that is still as current as ever...and more women should care about that.

I love MINORITIES -- they got a crackshot~raw deal of an existence, and most of my life, I've felt heavily emotionally burdened for all the people in the world who are members of a minority group. The world has fucked you over indeed...but some people (like me) never stop thinking about that.

I love our ELDERS, even their crankiness. NONE OF US would be here without them. They might not be everything we want and need them to be in this modern world, but they are still good people who are making it through this long life the best they can. They lived through some terrible times in their own generation and they didn't have it any easier than the rest of us. But they DID choose to give us life and reared us to survive in a world on our own, so...there's that.

I love the YOUTH and the way they are every tomorrow. They are the innocence and the beauty and the hope of a bright future. What we teach them now, they take with them forever. They are the ones who inspire and motivate and teach us as adults. They keep us in touch with the kid still living in our own hearts. They keep us active and in touch with our "dreamer" side, and motivate us, as adults, to push forward in creating a better world. They give us a reason, ya know. The children really are the future because they are the today and the tomorrow.

I love trans and gays and non-binaries and asexuals and bisexuals and pansexuals and lesbians and butches. I think the beauty of who you are is that you have no fear to live your authentic joy in who you feel you are and how you see yourself in the world. You are pioneers of happiness and inner joy, and that is an admirable trait to possess and exhibit to the world because it teaches the rest of us not to be afraid or live in fear. It teaches us that despite a world that would silence you, you speak up because you have a voice.

I love people who are of other religions and cultures and races and heritages because those people are me and I am those people.

To love means to love others as yourself and lay down your life for them if you must. Stand up for them. Have their back the way God does for us. So, that's why I speak up for the people getting hated on or bullied, or publically harassed because that's what Jesus would do for me because that's what Jesus does for ALL OF US!

It doesn't matter that a person is rich or famous or a celebrity, it doesn't matter if they are poor and meek and weak, it doesn't matter if they are sittin' in prison and lonely, it doesn't matter if they are sittin' pretty in Beverly Hills...if they are being hated, bullied, publically attacked, harassed, stalked, belittled or tormented in any way, I have a sense of some sort of human obligation to speak up for them.

And that's just how it is with me.

Plus, unconditional love does that stuff!

[mixelation]

I’m annoyed with fandom takes that are like “this male character isn’t sexist because he hangs out with [SPECIFIC FEMALE CHARACTER(S)] who kick ass [like a man could]”

First of all, being afraid of women isn’t somehow the opposite of misogyny. Secondly, it’s not the job of women to instill anti-sexist thinking in men by being more badass than them. That’s just gross? Thirdly, I’m much more interested in male characters who can think of women as human beings. “All women are scary badass monsters” is not much of a step up from “all women are delicate flowers” imho. (Not to mention writers who really lean into the former also tend to show that women who aren’t ‘strong’ as disgracing their gender, which is gross.)

[therainscene]

Something that struck me about Will’s bedroom in S4 is how asexually it’s decorated:

This boy is about to turn 15 and yet there’s not a single hunk to be found anywhere on his walls! Being closeted isn’t an excuse -- there’s plenty of plausible deniability in having posters of your favourite musicians, athletes, characters, etc, as our extremely heterosexual friend Michael can demonstrate:

Perhaps Will just is asexual. After all, outside of his chaste love for Mike, we only ever see him express his sexuality in the form of revulsion towards girls/heterosexuality; he honestly seems kind of neutral on men in general.

However... I don’t think that’s what’s going on here.

Will happens to conform to certain 80s stereotypes about gay men -- he’s sensitive, well-groomed, prefers art over sport -- and these traits have made him a target for homophobic abuse, probably since before he even realized he was gay.

Imagine how it must have felt, then, when he finally did realize he was gay. The bullies were right about that, all along. So what else were they right about?

What other stereotypes plagued gay men in the 80s? They were seen as threats that wanted to recruit children into their “lifestyle”...

...as disgusting perverts...

...and as carriers of disease.

Even as a 12 year-old with an innocent crush on his best friend, this poor kid already feels ashamed of a sexuality he hasn’t even matured into yet. So when he does start maturing into it, he represses it.

It’s no wonder that he identifies with Alan Turing, a man who was chemically castrated for being gay.

Who else do we know who might identify with what happened to Alan Turing?

Henry is queer-coded by way of parallels to Will: he’s sensitive, well-groomed, and likes art. Like Will, he had a parent who tried to make him more “normal”. Like Will, he’s suffered abuse for being different.

But Henry is also queer-coded in a way that parallels those homophobic fears about “the gay agenda”: he preys on children, recruiting some and killing the rest. He’s angry at the world for not having space in it for people like him, but it doesn’t occur to him that he could peacefully co-exist with the rest of society -- he wants to burn it all down and remake the world in his own image.

The thing is, homophobes are telling on themselves when they express such fears about gay men -- because what they fear queer people will do to them is what heteronormative society is already doing to queer people. Like Henry, they think this is a zero-sum game in which only one side can “win”.

So I don’t think Henry’s queer-coding is meant to be read literally as him being a predatory gay man.

Rather, he’s a personification of homophobia: the homophobe’s gay boogeyman made flesh.

(When it comes to other characters, he personifies a more broadly-applicable version of this concept. But the Duffers have stated that S5 will focus heavily on Will and his coming of age, so I think this queer reading of Vecna is a deliberate and central one.)

If Vecna represents external homophobia, then the Mind Flayer represents internalized homophobia.

Vecna sends it after Will and it literally gets inside him, burying his true nature under a layer of torment. It’s partially defeated when his family and friends see what’s happening and shower him with unconditional love, but it lingers at the back of his head as he starts to go through puberty, flaring up when he’s near or otherwise thinking about Mike.

The only time he doesn’t have to deal with these flare-ups is when he’s in California, far away from both Vecna and the homophobic town he grew up in. And he gains a lot of confidence in his identity while he’s there!

But, as the asexually-decorated bedroom suggests, he still feels a lot of shame too.

Will can’t fully self-actualize as a gay man until he breaks his connection with Vecna once and for all...

...with the boy who makes him feel like he’s not a mistake by his side.

[chuplayswithfire]

i love the writing for Stede because he's an excellent example of how a person can be marginalized in some ways and privileged in others, which is, in general, the way the world actually works. its rare for there to exist a person with absolutely no privilege and only marginalizations, but people generally don't think of the ways that we're privileged, especially when we're suffering from the ways that we're marginalized

and that's why stede is a great example, and his writing does an excellent job of digging into the topic. because stede experiences a lot of marginalization as a gay man, from childhood bullying and abuse from his father right up to being pressured into marrying a woman and having children - but he's also immensely privileged by virtue of being rich, white, and a man, with each of those things insulating him from the realities of the world that other people, including the people around him, suffer through.

like, with mary - stede's marriage to mary as viewed by stede is one where they're both miserable in monotony, but when you look at the show in reality, stede checked out of his marriage because he didn't want to be there. mary didn't either, but she tried to make it work, because she doesn't have any other options in her society - she would be disgraced and without support, monetarily, or familial in most cases, if she left her husband, and she wouldn't be allowed to divorce him. she has to make it work because this is her only option.

but stede has options. stede can check out. stede can leave his wife to do the hard work of raising the kids while mary has to be the one to ask them to stop running around the house, and initiate conversations with them at the dinner table, and nurture and care for them. stede is the fun dad playmate, and its why when he decides that he wants to leave his monotonous life, where he's uncomfortable in a married state, that he leaves the children behind with her.

and with the crew - stede is a terrible captain in terms of actually knowing how to sail a ship or do anything that a ship needs doing. we all know this. the characters know this. there's a reason oluwande agrees that stede is going to get them all killed, and jim calls him the worst pirate captain ever - when stede sets out to be a captain, he genuinely sucks at this. he's terrible at it, because he didn't have to learn anything about doing any of it, he just needed to be rich to achieve everything he ever wanted, and then rely on the labor of poorer white men and poorer men of color to make it all work out for him.

in episode two, when stede finds his courage to go after the hostages and prove himself as a captain, he says "i am adequate", which is both played for comedy and empathy - comedy because its such an understatement for a positive affirmation, empathy because it's *such* an understatement and goes to outlining stede's overall low sense of worth, but i think it's also important to note that it's kind of right? at best, stede is adequate at that moment.

and throughout the show, we see stede take a lot of things to heart, but also, in many ways fail to take responsibility for things he does wrong - he overcompensates and makes them about his lack of worth, or he deflects and makes them not his fault, or he gets overly critical towards others so he doesn't have to accept any blame or fault - and it all stems from this mindset that's been built into him from youth, that he's worthless and terrible and pathetic.

and here's the thing: i'm not saying that stede's abusive father or the badmintons or anyone else who bullied and tormented stede were right. he's not a lily-livered little rich boy who's never going to be anything else. but they did impart a lot of learned helplessness into stede, at least as i see him, where because he has such low self-esteem, he genuinely seems to think that he can't possibly cause harm to other people. he feels guilty about abandoning his family, he feels guilty about leaving them behind, he feels that this makes him a bad person, but it's not until episode 9 and he learns that he's been reported dead that he seems to genuinely think about the ways that his family could have suffered without him.

after all, in keeping with the times, it's very possible that mary would have been educated on managing a household, but not finances or businesses, or the land that they run. it's very possible that other relatives could have come crawling from the woodwork for the fortune. it's possible that with the money being louis', not mary's, by right, that she could have been with very limited access to their funds.

a lot of bad things could have happened, even WITHOUT the emotional hurt that being abandoned by a husband/father would cause, but stede doesn't seem to have expected any of that. in episode 10, he's surprised and hurt that his children are angry and have forgotten him. he's angry that mary has found a person to be in love with. he's upset that he came back and coming back wasn't enough for anyone, because he didn't think he, stede bonnet, could hurt anyone.

and that's partially because he's always seen himself through the lens of victimization and the ways that others have hurt him, and not in the ways that he could hurt others. mary's life is better with stede gone not because of his inherent lack of worth as a person, but because he was a terrible husband, wrapped up in himself and his griefs and his hurts and his very real marginalizations, and in doing so completely failed to be compassionate or kind or even an active participant in his own domestic life.

by the end of the season, we see stede finally starting to own that. we see that he's recognized his part in the harm he caused, and that he's finally being active, not reactive, in his own life. he makes the decision to leave openly, he carefully removes himself from at least one of his privileges - his class, by abandoning his wealth fully, this time, no longer leaving himself a lifeline to the world of the wealthy elite, and setting out to be an equal to his crew and to ed.

and that's a GOOD way to show this kind of story. because we are often much more attuned to the ways that we experience marginalization than the ways we enjoy privilege. privilege functions near-invisibly for the privileged, because we don't see all the ways we benefit from a world that's purpose-built for us. it takes intentional thought and perspective to see that the world is not built equal, and that we don't all move through it in the same way. often times, we have to confront sources of our marginalization, like stede did in coming back home and dealing with the life he left behind, to acknowledge our privileges - like stede did again, facing his fellow disaffected rich peers and the wife and children he hurt - to begin being active participants in our lives.

i'm really glad for the way stede's journey is handled. it would have been SO easy for the show to say that stede has no fault in his actions, that he had no choices, that he was just reacting. instead the show shows us that stede had options all along, but he was so embedded within himself that he didn't see them, and straggled along, hurting people because he was too busy in that mindset, until finally he came out of it.

i'm excited to see season 2. i'm excited to see where stede grows next, now that he's finally actively shaping his life, not bowing to his learned helplessness, not looking away from the negative impacts of his choices.