#which was enough of a response in itself
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Had 2 rough therapy sessions back to back…
Sometimes group after individual is fine. But then when I’m already kinda raw and group gets super heavy and I just. I really wish I could have them on separate days again, but individual can only meet our current time, during dance time, or during Saturday Pilates time… and I’m not giving up dance or Pilates.. so I have an hour between sessions at least but still.
#I was hardcore stimming and stuttering all through group#still am tbh#and I need to go to bed#but now I’m like all worked up#group then individual would be better maybe? but group ends so late so#they asked my response to something and I got through maybe half a sentence and then just could not get words together#which was enough of a response in itself#but I still kinda feel bad that I didn’t have more to say?
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,,, sun-dappled sheets...
#the sapphics got to me okay. portrix real#it's so cute how they go from falling asleep tgt at the presses to having a room to share#adamandi#portia elizabeth harper#beatrix valeria campbell#it was a doodle and then i was like i want to make it softer so i painted it over and in the process rendered it somewhat#it's still quite sketchy akdhfj but u get the vibes!! ++ tried out using a Lot more noise than usual#so that's like the New Art Takeaway from doing this.#;;; i feel like every time i draw wlw fluff it's stepping back deep into my comfort zone haha but yes. soft cosy comfy etc.#my brain was not processing enough to figure out casual wear so this is kind of just the stripped down costumes akdhdjdh but yeah#bonus side note here is i was like hehe wouldn't it be fun if beatrix hand + portia ribbon. as like a nod to contrast how#previously it was strings on their hands instead. and now she cut them off bc portia and also smth smth about the difference#between tying (the strings) and choosing to hold (ribbon) and sjdhdhfhfh ue.#*incoherent noises* it's about the softness. the touching. the idea of choice- but less afraid of losing it- smth smth inherent trust also.#knowing tomorrow you'll still be there..#<- sorry there's a silly little conceptual thing in every adamandi thing i make i think#i would love to say this was For Adamandi Week but i do very badly with timed events so the truth is just. i woke up and saw#@/regret-repentir 's post (which is so so lovely actually) (credit where credit is due) and then spent the next 1.5h drawing portrix#the prompt was post graduation i think? but seeing as i didn't really respond to the prompt itself#it doesn't rly count in my head as a prompt response for the event. idk#it technically works. but also it feels like false advertising...#<blinks> fun times include this being the first time i've drawn adamandi characters entirely without reference. they have been blorbo-ified
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If the landlord doesn’t want me fishing around in their shower vent and cold air returns, then they shouldn’t make them stink like rotting garbage. You painted over the screws so they’re hard to open? Cool. I’ll drill holes into them and get them out with a power tool because the town next to me is having a citywide garage sale and I’m sure there’s some Ryobi in there at a decent price. Your vents are coming off motherfucker, and if I find anything I swear to fucking god I am going to have both your vents and your bank account cleaned out.
#I also have a closet door that glues itself shut every time it’s closed… because they used fucking Mod-Podge to finish it I guess???#And the knob fell off when I pulled on it. So I stuck a hex wrench in there to try to use it as a handle#but I couldn’t grip it well enough to pull it open#so I karate-kneed the door on the side of the knob while pulling and it opened#As I’m talking about knobs… a knob is responsible for finishing this apartment#The cabinets don’t line up. The bedroom closet doors don’t shut at the same time#because they’re too tight in the jam and push the other out when you close a door while the other door is already closed#The cabinets in the bathroom don’t fully close because the hinges were drilled at an angle#The base molding looks like it fell off a cliff and was fractured in three places#SHIT-COLORED CIGARETTE TAR DRIPS DOWN THE WALLS IN THE BATHROOM WHEN THEY GET WET#Fuck you and your lease. If you’re allowed to have irresponsible carpenters and maintenance; I am allowed to responsibly burn incense#If people are allowed to smoke; I am allowed to burn incense#“No candles” fuck you for making me need to burn scents in the first place#Orwellian fucking apartment. Literally 1984. Not because of the rules; just because the apartment is a dysfunctional shithole#and it smells like the rotting remains of boiled cabbage just like the book#And if anyone asks me why I didn’t call maintenance I’m going to respond with my unresolved service request for the A/C#which conveniently broke down during a heat wave#Did it really break down or did the landlords cut it to save money? Like yes A/Cs break during the summer#but I wouldn’t doubt sabotage either. It doesn’t turn on at all.#The site asked what dates I’d like them to look at it. I gave my dates and said I’d be there all day. I waited at home for two days. No one#No follow-up until nearly a month later saying “We’re still getting to all the service requests please bear with us.” Oh thanks#You couldn’t have done that sooner?
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{ I hear a story, I feel the whim to write. You may well never read it. That is alright. I will leave this letter where it can be found. Read if you wish, or if you prefer, let it drown.
Many days a solitary child, But convince yourself the intentions are for the best.
When life becomes strained and wild, Imperceptibility gives you a simple chance to rest.
But have you heard what paves the road to Hell? And was it satisfying to live upon a shelf?
Out of reach, out of mind? Named such that you live a lie?
Did you ever feel a need to leave that shell? Was there enrichment in living a life by yourself?
Misery loves company; does joy seek isolation? Is your solitude a deprivation or consolation?
Are you your own genuine representation Or are you up to anyone's interpretation?
They may not suffice, mere good intents, When protection comes at such expense.
It's not strange to feel somewhat distressed, Imagining a childhood you never would get.
Do you wonder about the friends you may have lost, To the defence that had such a high cost?
Or is it hard to mourn that which you never had, When you can focus instead on the fellowship at hand?
Is there now regret in the process of being known, Or have you satisfaction with this self you've grown?
Should you choose to pursue a truth alone, Or focus on the joy inside this life you chose, I wish you health and luck in life, To overcome whatever knife.
With sincerity,
~ I.I.I. ~ }
...
Luckily, he had found the envelope and the note hidden within. Given the lack of a return address, or even an address to begin with, he wondered how it managed to find its way to his apartment... especially when very few knew where he lived to begin with.
But fate usually had funny ways of putting things into place like that.
"Of course it was hard," Specchio chuffed, turning the note over in his hands repeatedly as if expecting there to be more, or something hidden that he couldn't quite find. "No child wants to grow up in isolation, especially not after the loss I'd dealt with."
...
"But I'm happier as I am. I think I was able to find myself through those trials," he shrugged, laying the note back down on the counter.
"And with who I have now, I'd do it all over again."
#speckywrites#jjba rp#jjba oc#specchio mediano#jjba rp blog#rp blog#anon asks#anon ask#it would've been a disgrace to let this rot in my inbox without a response#which i do sometimes when i'm debating whether or not i want a picture to go with#but this in and of itself was a work of art so#thank you#plus i think there's a little hinting of lore here to make it enough :)
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i think steampianist's thing really suits kabukimono. the speaker in the song struggles to convey emotions properly and wishes to have certain traits ("hair like yours," "hands like yours," "eyes to stare and to cry with," "fingers that curl in the cold"), which can be read as fervently coveting to look and feel "normal." or, in kabukimono's case, to look and feel human.
like the speaker in the song, kabukimono cannot understand or show certain emotions, and so he learns from those around him (like a sponge absorbing new information) about human life. he hides his true nature as a puppet and learns how to live as a human, but as human as he may act he can never truly be human if the parameters set for what it means to be human are that (1) you must have a heart and (2) your lifespan must be finite (which are parameters kabukimono thinks equals humanity). he has neither of these, which is why he never truly views himself as a human even though you could argue that being "human" simply means you are a complex individual who can feel, think, speak, and articulate (all things kabukimono is capable of).
as the song nears its conclusion, it's implied that the speaker hurt or killed their friends in some way, and you learn that all along this "thing" has wanted companionship and to feel and display emotions properly. but something goes wrong and the result is this eerie line: "struggling only makes the hugs much tighter." both kabukimono and the speaker in the song are driven by their obsessions, and both have bloodied their hands as the result of their circumstances (kabukimono's motivation for murder being revenge and the speaker's most likely being the threat of their friends leaving, so they become determined to make them stay even if it ends in death).
and by the end, the speaker still continues to wish for the traits mentioned above. likewise, kabukimono continues in his travels after sating his hunger for revenge and with "human" traits he has learned and experienced throughout his journey, only to soon step onto the path that leads him to becoming a harbinger once he comes to believe that his "humanity" is a sign of weakness. and so he does away with the things that made him human and starts a new era of his existence (albeit a more violent, cruel one), much like how the speaker in the song will probably continue to search for a way to express themselves in socially acceptable ways.
i think popopo could also fit kabukimono in that it's a song about an alien who travels from planet to planet in hopes of finding a home and a friend, but no one accepts or wants him so he is constantly shunned and lonesome. thus he is a "shooting star sinking in the spacey, black tar" with "hopes and dreams in teardrops," which are lines that fit kabukimono so much!
#meraki mumbles#yandere scaramouche#'thing' is one of my favorite songs from steampianist#and 'the botanist' and 'the detective' are also so good because they're intertwined within the same storyline#i adore everything about 'the botanist' because not only are the lyrics and instrumental brilliantly composed#the story itself is also so good!!!#a botanist who is 'allergic to humans' has become infatuated with a woman he sees from the windows in his lab#and this woman is allergic to flowers so she doesn't interact with the botanist often#but this only causes him to grow more obsessed#you learn in 'the detective' that the botanist is the one responsible for killing women and taking out their hearts#who the detective has been searching for to solve what felt like an unsolvable case#until the conjoined storylines are interrupted by the plot in 'black hole' which is the result of a shunned scientist creating a black hole#to prove everyone who doubted and ignored her wrong#(a song that really fits dottore)#'unrequited love and he who sleeps beneath' is also really good because the lovecraftian references are very *chef's kiss*#but also because it's a song that reminds me of azul#the singer gets her heart broken and is mentally weak enough for the old ones to invade her mind#if that isn't azulcore i do not know what is
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Do ppl genuinely think jinx blew up the council for the liberation of zaun
#actually I need to rewatch bc from what I remember#jinx’s ideals are making silco happy like I don’t see her actually upset about what ppl are going through or wanting real change or whatever#like i think she’ll def be some sort of hope to some ppl of zaun due to the action#but like. that was pure malice that wasn’t Justice for zaun#she killed powder for killing her family the first time and she killed the council for killing silco#Bc jinx couldn’t have done it since she’s perfect silco said so#and this isn’t a violence isn’t the answer thing NO#i think ekko should blow up the council too and I hate that he’s hanging with that rat#heimerdinger and cailtyn are the same to me they’re both annoying#stay away from zaunites ty#you’ve done ENOUGH#the audacity to argue with ekko about who enforcers are#‘the Ppl dont want my help :(‘ ok kys. ez#Uhm anyways that’s very subjective and again I’m biased against piltover they’re literally nothing new to me#point is I don’t think jinx is the revolutionary some of y’all tout her to be#i know it’s scary but if u want that ur gonna have to focus on a black character outside his white potential LI#I KNOW I KNOW! it’s new to you it’s hard you can’t see him as anything besides smth ur fave reacts to#but if u want the person protecting zaunites as best as they can bc they love zaun itself#Ur gonna have to look past the sad white girl#difference between jinx and ekko is oppression shaping a rebellious personality vs the choice to rebel and do better for your people#not in a theory vs praxis way but in who’s actually concerned with others welfare and how zaun will move forward#while ekko is willing to use violence for his cause he’s more worried about keeping his own ppl safe which could potentially set him down#the road vander went - as opposed to vi who was like. traumatized into working with pilties this soon#It’d be a slow road for him. but also take into account he saw vander go down that path before and if it’s one thing he’s good at it’s#learning from the past. bring in how the silco and vander won’t repeat itself bc jinx who’s angrier at piltover and life in general than she#is hopeful for zaun might have to be forced to gain that compassion once interpersonally interacting with zaunites some who may genuinely#look up to her as a leader as opposed to local drug lords lapdog is gonna have to buck up and take responsibility#obvi vi and powder are vander silco foils duh but the way I’m thinking ekko and jinx could potentially be#wait for it#what couldve been
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I have a question what were Annie's og parents like(i mean she was willing to run away with five aliens to be her fathers instead so I don't think they might have been the best😬) or maybe they're dead and were good people idk
A lot of the lore is actually written by @sweetpeaches666, who may be tagged under sugarbutterfly432, thanks to Annie technically being a 3 way OC lmao. There has been nothing solidly concrete about Annie's OG parents beyond the fact that she doesn't know her ancestry and she's had many foster homes AND orphanages to live in (plus it'd also be easier legal wise for the Andromeda 5 to adopt her if she isn't officially someone else's kid at the time)
It's actually why she does ballet, one of her foster mothers wanted to recreate her failed dream, turns out it breeds resentment and a lot of running away :P
What can be said is that Annie's been many different homes and in a constant state of transitioning between them, a prime example of being a refunded kid and all that, something something No Roots by Alice Merton yada yada 'oh no that's relatable'. Her birth parents one way or another have never been in her life, though regardless of what actually happened Annie will always believe that they left her behind like like everyone else did :P
#ask#anonymous#annie andromeda#ben 10 oc#ben 10#if there was a frequent flyer's pass for running away annie would be getting so many check-ins#or whatever happens with frequent flyer stuff idk i don't fly#anyway annie would call herself a jailbird if living in group homes or transition homes fit the definition#she sure does fly the coop enough to make the connection stick#p'andor adopting her out of the blue (give or take the actual time it would legally take to do so) after she tried to mug him#was the biggest shock that left her reeling for a hot fucking minute before she even had the chance to maybe run away again#something something 'what do you have' yada yada 'a smoothie'#annie realises she's been adopted by aliens or at least in the process of being adopted by them during the midst of her confusion#and maybe being kitted out with a room and also a wallet to mooch off of#because while the andromeda 5 are being given parental rights and responsibilities she's living under their roof#if shit goes south she can at least get one of the adults to purge their money on her food and supplies should she run off later#(which doesn't end up happening... at least not seriously with resentment)#sometimes she feels the need to take a breather from a comparably overwhelming amount of love and affection sent her way#let alone the fact that she's getting like 5 adults' care instead of the nuclear 2#which may or may not end up freaking out some of them (ra'ad especially but probably everyone but p'andor)#p'andor being a combination of not fully grasping what a kid on a conceptual level is but also because he first met annie trying to rob him#not exactly points for him in the 'responsible parent' tally but he's far from a single parent#sure technically- since annie's 16 (give or take to match ben's age)- she was soon gonna be too old for the orphanage#p'andor will be the one to look for her (he'll actually insist since the others might freak her out more) even if it means they stay out#just an easy bake oven taking his outdoor cat on a walk- he and annie will return home soon but hey- nothing like a breath of fresh air#anyway the tags hold more details than the post itself lmao tag rambling at it's finest :P#hmm does there need to be a warning for this?
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Why did I start like three other projects when I was already working on a big project when I just got hit with the autism exhaustion beam (requires. At least One Full Day just dead in bed, and then some more Taking It Easy time after)
#i don't even know what prompted it...#hit w a vision. not enough time to execute it. hit w a vision. too tired to execute it.#i guess technically it was just two huh. but all the moving parts made the other one feel like two in and of itself#oh. now i remember there was another shitpost behind it. i just. didn't get to.#thinking about bruno... thinking about anna... thinking about the fairies... thinking about mirabilis specifically actually#she gets the short end of the stick characterization wise and it's such a shame.#to the point where i was unsure what to do w her... i think i got some ideas rattling around though#I CAN... GIVE HER.... SO MUCH MORE.... without changing too much about her. i just need to extrapolate.#hits her w the disability beam. idk if it's also autism but she has some sort of chronic condition#that just makes you. so tireds. moe and mira shaking hands. let's lay down and rest together.#also thinking about the subtle differences between a full dream and a daydream... between sleeping and just resting#and. making her kitty coded. she is such a kitten pile type girl. she is such a lap cat. queen of catnapping#which i'm thinking works really well w peony and even sharena. not so much moe though 😭💔#i want to capture a playful side. and maybe even a 'i'm still figuring out how i feel about that' side to her#like... i'm imagining peony as someone who's surprisingly insightful and emotionally intelligent.#she's got it all figured out. she already knows. she's not always right. but she tends to know what's up#i'm thinking... maybe mira isn't quite there yet. or struggles to see outside of herself. for obvious/understandable reasons#but she has that unwavering desire for joy and comfort the way peony does. she may feel a pang of jealousy here and there#but it doesn't get in the way of her goals and wants for others. which may be the defining factor actually#like obviously this could get messy if you simplify it too much into 'good' or 'bad'. bc all these girls are DIRECT reflections#of each one's trauma response. assigning morality to that is fucked up. but for story purposes... maybe freyja/freyr did. to a degree.#bc maybe they're flawed and fucked up too. it's about The Cycles. i'm getting so lost in the sauce though LMFAOO#i am GOING to do SOMETHING. for mirabilis. mark my fucking words.
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Victoria 🤝 Cal 🤝 Fern (somewhat) 🤝 Damien (rejuv)
I repressed/continue to repress my anger or ‘distasteful’ tendencies/habits as a plot point/as a character trait and all I got was this narrative blindness to the fact that anger and those habits, violent or not, is a natural response to literally any of these situations & repressing it in this way is more unhealthy than expressing it in literally any number of ways that don’t actually have to include murder/violence
#deep sigh in ‘person prone to rage as a daily response to almost any stimuli’#westalk#anyway I think character should be angry more. like Saphira I’m so happy that she kept her rage#like yeah she heals in postgame which is GOOD!!! but she didn’t let anyone take her fire until she was#tired enough to let it die#like even WITH Laura saying Forgiveness Forgiveness. saphira godddd#<- and I’m NOT saying that doing this can’t be like. a good character trait itself#but when the narrative says it’s a GOOD THING to ignore these things / push them down it’s like. please help me#you didn’t even send them to therapy for it ….
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they cant get rid of me that easily
#ok job update for those of you invested in this storyline#BEFORE this interview was even brought up or arranged. i thought i had the job and that it was going to be close enough to my current job#AFTER the interview it was clear i did not have the job and i would be contacted if i got it and also its way more involved than my job now#also i just really did not get the greatest vibes about the new job and the place itself.#theyre starting up but they dont seem to have their shit together#they also wanted to like. hire me as one thing but like have me essentially work different jobs as needed#which like. pay me more lol if youre giving more duties or responsibilities. you know#and while yes i complain about my current job theres good to it too. good pay for doing a job thats pretty close to not doing a whole lot#i value my goofing off time. its important#goofing off aside like it is good that i have moments when i can relax. or have time to do things like write my screenplay#which i should work on .#but anyway i know im making the right choice for what i wanna do. and this new job aint it#ill keep looking for better jobs but for now im happy in my often stupid but still good job#before i was cackling evilly abt the prospect of leaving here now im cackling evilly about staying#a very 'when you leave' sort of situation to tie it all together. anyway a crazy past couple of weeks that ive survived
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Me: “I’m going to stop procrastinating and read The Invisible Man this weekend.”
Me, not even a day later: “Hehehehe Fahrenheit 451 go BRRRRRRR”
#I mean… at least I’m reading *something* and not going on my phone 24/7???#(I was able to find a hard copy for a low price; and I bought it despite everything screaming in me not to#(both my parents know I bought it because I told them it’s one of my favorite books ever)#If they do end up reading the synopsis on Wikipedia — or the book itself — and decide it’s too worldly for me to have#they may be less inclined to destroy it because it’s a book about book burning; or (more hilariously) they may decide to destroy it#in which case I will whip out my crappy digital copy and read Beatty’s lecture at the end of part one to them; to hold it up as a mirror#I may also have a copy of the 2003 edition of 1984 coming in the mail along with two other books (so I can open it privately and say#“I bought these two books because they looked interesting” and they’ll believe me (if the package is ambiguous enough)#or if it isn’t ambiguous I can just find a book I have that they’ve never seen me read and “re-gift” it to myself)#because I feel I will work more efficiently with a real copy of 1984 in my hands… and it will serve as motivation for me to read it again#which will further my understanding of the novel and make my adaptation better#(not to mention the fact that the books were on sale for five dollars a piece)#but one of the other books’ synopses revolves around the fact that a man woke up “bandaged and being tended to by his wife” 👀👀#and it seems like a “good” story in the eyes of the cult so uh#yeah#looking respectfully (in an ace way)#my book now#also: Anyone ever read the book Warp Speed by an author with the last name of Yee? Highly recommend#That one I already have (and I may read it again soon idk) but the third book I got reminds me of it in terms of the vibe of the premise#It’s about a kid who jokes all the time as a trauma response#something tells me I’ll relate to that LOL#I’m gonna have to sell a lot of my books because they just don’t interest me any longer (of course they don’t; I was nine#and I bought them at a book fair knowing full well I hated reading))#I’ll keep Guitar Notes and Godzilla and Killer Species 1 and 2; but the rest can all go#OH MY GOD Infestation… that one’s excellent. I’ll keep that too#Giant ants attacking a boarding school for troubled boys; and these kids have to escape the compound without getting eaten#good book#Loved it as a ten year old suffering from melancholy and whooping cough
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op kindly only screenshotted the tags where it looks like I'm saying because the castles were not designed and built by the welsh (a reasonable interpretation of what the original post said) I don't think the welsh should get a say, even though I go on to mention that I don't think any money from them *should* be going to the parasites in westminster! But hey it's much easier, as I was inferring about nationalist takes like this on tumblr, to make me a colonialist boogie man.
In any case, the deeper thing bugging me that I didn't have the confidence to articulate (*signs tumblr death sentence in triplicate* haha silly me instead thinking it was fair to point out that op made it seem like these buildings, icons of welsh repression, were rather built by the welsh for the welsh) was that I don't know what money you think is going to the crown from this! The famously cash-loaded heritage industry, ah yes, they will surely solve all our financial problems if only we didn't have to send their vast profits to the stinking pigs in crowns...
They are doing their best to keep the buildings up. Guess what? English Heritage also manages stuff owned by the crown. Guess what? In England their public services are also fucked by nearly fifteen fucking years of tory austerity. It's not because of the castles. I'm delighted that visitor numbers are going up for Cadw and I have been to many of the sites they manage and frankly they do a better job than many of the sites in Scotland and England I've been to. I simply do not know where the idea comes from that they're rolling in profits that are being sent abroad to the crown?? If the crown owns these properties still I just rather think your petition should be aiming to bleed the fucking royals dry and make then pay for their upkeep!
Also I still think claiming the Welsh built the castles is absurd. You don't have to have built them to justify them being in Cadw's hands. That is the heart of what annoys me here I think: not the nationalist sentiment but the unnecessary distortion so many nationalist arguments indulge in, which undermines their arguments rather than supporting them, from my perspective (having already said in tags elsewhere that I am agnostic on devolution: it is a decision for the welsh to make not me. If you want my answer about a border poll in NI where I live then you'll have to prove you can be serious about things like pensions and health care provision before we talk about the effects of a snap poll and which way I would vote depending on the wording and the offers made).
MUCH more interesting and alarming from my pov is the money you're paying to the crown for the use of the seabed under your wind farms. If Chuckie boy believes so strongly in green energy why doesn't he do all he can to support the green sector in Wales and waive costs, or even maybe give Wales its own seabed back?
I am absolutely disgusted to learn that crown owns our castles and the profits are sent to Westminster. Wales is struggling, our economy is struggling, our people are struggling, our health services are struggling, and that money could go to the betterment of our lives - instead it goes to England.
despite the fact we maintain the castles and land, we don't own them. they are in OUR country. ownership should belong to us, the people who built them. we maintain them. we work in them. theyre ours and we should be able to use the profits generated by them to help welsh people, not allow the money be funnelled into the monarchy.
the fact the crown owns so much of wales is such an outdated and medieval concept and has no place in modern society.
petition here:
please sign. I am disgusted.
#this post raised so many ???? first thing in the morning ok#...... you're gonna claim this is a medieval set-up and claim the welsh built those castles?#the castles in wales meant to put down the welsh? the norman built castles and english built castles to keep the locals in line?#the castles built by the english to keep the welsh in line that are funnily enough still owned by the prince of wales??#i am NOT saying this is the ideal situation please ok!! i am also surprised that if cadw maintain them the money still goes to the crown#i think it would be excellent if the money that went to cadw stayed in wales actually#however it's not just the crown here - a LOT of what cadw maintains is in private ownership this is just their remit#unfortunately while you have the same parasitic royals as the rest of us in the uk you're gonna have bullshit like this#by all means nationalise the castles please do#but please remember that most of them were built to fuck up the welsh and not by the welsh for the welsh#i love you wales!! you do your thing by all means!! but nat bullshit is nat bullshit wherever it is#(*re: 'who built the castles' yeah probably some local labour was used but i believe the practice was to bring your own skilled stonemasons#etc with you. i'm honestly not interested in the %age of labour division in the C12th-C15th construction sites that we'll never know#the fact that op's response was just to claim they're ~welsh~ built despite the funding and the expertise that were likely not welsh#is just about what i expect tbh! i think there are interesting questions here about national ownership of heritage in the present day#the medieval ownership is beside the fucking point - which was more my point in saying the welsh hand in building them isn't significant#(don't@me about the value of labour i know i know but if you're edward i you can probably just get other workers from elsewhere if you need#and YES op it's right there you say this is a medieval concept#i'm mainly just picking nits about how people use 'medieval' to describe situations they don't like and then don't actually care about#the medieval reality itself#for god's sake i knew i shouldn't have bothered tag ranting on this#this is without getting into the legalities of the heritage industry in the uk and how the funding is split between cadw and the owners#i don't know enough about that to comment. but i do know enough about blindly emotional nationalist arguments to roll my eyes at them#signing my death sentence on tumblr by trying to introduce some sense of nuance and proportion into my feelings#about nationalism of all kinds YES even your righteous celtic nationalisms#oh well it was nice knowing you all#eta again: PIPE ROLLS. there are literal pipe rolls telling you who built the castles and what they cost!!!#the architects and skilled workers were not locals they were professional castle builders who came with the fuckung colonisers!#again#it's not a hill i want to die on the purpose of castles was to be on the hill and not die 👍
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hate those posts that are like "what radicalized you? idk basic human empathy lol" like come on.
#its sooo annoying thats not what radicalized you its at Most part of what enabled you to respond to certain injustices you have witnessed in#a certain way. but is not necessary (if by empathy they mean being able to feel by proxy instead of like being able to understand how#someone might be feeling in a certain situation)#its definitely not enough to radicalize you like it just comes off as holier-than-thou#esp cuz its a response to people talking about specific moments in their lives where something clicked for them which i think is valuable t#hear lmao.#what does radicalized even mean to these people. they must have seen something happen and used their empathy it wasnt the empathy itself...#thats not what the question is asking. plenty of people are empathetic its crazy to act like only ppl who have radical leftist politics are#mostly see it on instagram
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FRUITY HC PROMPTS / @hypnoticallycaucasian / ACCEPTING .
🍎 : how stable is my muse’s mental health? have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they or should they attend therapy?
||. WELL , Link sure does have retrograde amnesia. . . . I'm not kidding about that diagnosis , and he definitely should go to therapy,but to actually answer the question : Link ...exists on a perpetual on a scale, and it always depends on "what time period of Link are you asking about", because the answer will change depending on what he does and doesn't remember.
Link before the Calamity (specifically: before the sword) would have been relatively stable. Outside of being a teenage boy with an extreme sense of duty and pressure to perform, he wouldn't have to contend with much. Healthy home, healthy mindsets, healthy life. It's when he pulled the sword and began to shut his emotions down to be a "reliable hero" that some problems would have begun to manifest. In my headcanon : dissociative episodes (+dissociative amneisa &. subsequent fugue) run congruently with his rising stress levels , and are a related but separate issue to his originally-self-imposed selective mutism.
Link is a slow emotional processor. He thinks through his emotions and takes time to sort them out. (Mostly because he really doesn't get bothered by a whole lot.) But when he's "on duty" or otherwise needed... he doesn't feel himself allowed to take the time to sort it out. Not during, and often not afterwards until well later, either. And then only when he's on his own. In Link's world, it's act first, think (and feel) later. ESPECIALLY when all eyes are on him.
At some point in his development into "Knight Link" (which imo was cemented well before he was actually appointed as Zelda's personal knight), Link's solution to a wealth of emotion without any time to process it all was to focus solely on the physical task at hand, whatever that may be. It ... doesn't shut down the emotion spurring the stress... but he can act. He can do something to stave it all off or fix it while it's happening. Face it head on, and quickly. Unfortunately ... even this isn't always possible in his profession. And this mind vs. heart endeavor is a taxing one. As such, if Link is unable to tackle the issue and fix it, he will rapidly begin to deteriorate into a dissociative episode. Specifically dealing with depersonalization. If the stress continues, Link has a tendency to completely emotionally/mentally black out during these periods. (aka: dissociative amnesia). He'll either seem to be completely spacing out, or completely zeroed in on a task from the outside looking in. (It's caused problems and some serious one-sided arguments with his mother before.)
In some conjunction with this, canonically, Link has been known to voice his inner thoughts and feelings less and less over time. By the time he was appointed to Zelda, it's noted that he barely spoke at all. While he is entirely capable of speech, when he undergoes high stress levels, it can become difficult for him to find the words to voice himself freely. (Now, it is worth nothing that Link is naturally a pretty quiet individual (imo even his voice is on the naturally softer side anyways). Link not talking does not automatically mean he's stressed out. But sometimes there is an inherent inability to speak even if he wanted to.)
All of this is true of Amnesia/Post!Calamity Link, although the triggers are different. Post!Calamity Link struggles a lot more often with depersonalization, derealization and dissociative amnesia + fugue, especially the more he comes to remember his/Hyrule's past. Part of that is due to stress, part of is trauma, and part of it is from just barely cheating death/the reincarnation cycle through the Shrine of Resurrection.
#(honorable mention as usual is his survivor's guilt even tho that in itself isn't a disorder)#(the good news abt the survivor's guilt is link is genuinely grateful to be still kicking and he definitely won't waste his 2nd try)#(but there's always going to be a part of him that's keenly aware that he was /DYING/ and should be all means be dead)#(and that in his place not only are the champions dead where he's still alive)#(but so. many. others. lost their lives. and that's unforgivable to him — granted i think he blames ganon completely. as he should)#(he doesn't blame zelda or her powers and he will strangle anyone who ever dares insinuate it's her fault - and w zelda he will bop her.)#(and i wouldn't say he blames himself but i do think he holds himself responsible at least for not being able to hold out long enough-)#(-after zelda's powers awakened in her. like. if he had just stuck it out even a couple hours.... a couple days to hold the line...)#(for link it's a “what were you doing wrong” @self regarding wielding the master sword's true power)#(combined with “why couldn't you have been stronger” + “why AREN'T you stronger” + “will you ever be strong enough”)#(....which sadly isn't entirely hc that's in the game and only helped by the DLC's trial of the sword QvQ)#(and anyways link DOES count himself incredibly lucky and he is eternally grateful to zel + co for saving him)#(....at the same time he'll eventually come to think of all the people left behind that never got a chance to say goodbye)#(he doesn't get to say goodbye either but the difference is //HE SHOULD BE DEAD// so yknow it's fun it's fine)#(he won't let it be in vain but =4= he haunts himself and that never entirely goes away imo. it gets better! but never fully leaves him)#「 headcanons . 」─ hero of the wild .#「 answered . 」─ letters .#「 ooc . 」─ 999 koroks my ass .#(forgive my rambling about this probably saying the same thing a hundred times over but dbnsajkdbsak)
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the struggles of today proved to me that i might indeed be a little mentally unwell
#not enough to go to therapy but at least now i know what i should work on#correct me if i'm wrong but most people probably don't start to feel suicidal if there's like. a problem at work#i've been asked to support the back office and help with managing cases which is okay i guess. but i'm not a support team person so#i don't know how to do a lot of things despite using the learning resources provided by the workplace#and this one case i'm handling was rather easy on the surface. no info in sys so parcel can't move forward. ask origin to release data. eas#but then origin says that they can't because they get an error message when putting in receiver's acc number. ruh roh#if origin can't release data no one can. i've asked them to handle it with IT but had no response. in the meantime the other involved CS#started getting involved and now a production in a factory is stopped. and i know it's not my fault but i could've done better#acted faster. thought smarter. and i hate this kind of responsibility. and that i care too much#i've cried so much today i'm so tired. from the stress of this task i've been given and because of the IT issues popping in all the time no#i logged into work 45 minutes late because the VPN i've been using shit itself and i had to get a backup one#i should've gotten it installed ages ago but nooo let's do that laterrrrr you definitely won't regret that#i hate having to put up with this bitch (me) .#another thing is. it's currently summer vacation season so i'll have to brace myself for more support work to come. it's probably gonna go#just as bad if not worse. i'm so not cut out for this. i'll have to ask my boss if he can move me to a different service#so i can have an excuse like sorry i can't help i'm no longer associated with tnt~#but that's gonna have to wait until he;s back from his vacation in august . oh well#also all this stress might result in me getting something akin to an ED#my stress response other than crying and shaking is not feeling hunger. i ate something substantial at 5pm and had breakfast at 6am#between that i had two small pieces of candy and water#i'm already bad at feeding myself or at the very least eating nutritious food . this could make me worse#“oh but kav everyone makes mistakes and it's important to learn from them! keep fighting!” bitch i don't want to i didn't sign up for this#if i wanted to work for Support Team i'd have applied there. i did not wish to get involved with them and their work#sorry i needed to get this out of my system. i'll probably complain to some irls too but i might be able to do that without crying now#laments#<- i think this is going to be my vent tag
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⠀ 𝝑𝑒 ⠀⠀ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. your bestfriend, satoru, sends your cheating boyfriend a rather explicit video of the two of you as revenge.
tags. best friend!gojo satoru x female reader. smut, pwp. dōggy style. dirty talk. crēampie. reader gets called ‘pretty, angel, baby’. cheating. consensual fīlming. anon req.
“mmshiit, should’ve fucked you long time ago,” satoru hisses, his hips stuttering against the plump flesh of your ass. he’s unable to stop himself now that he’s got his pretty best friend underneath him—in a sinful position he has only had wet dreams of.
one moment you’re crying because of your cheating boyfriend and the next you’re getting your guts rearranged by your bestfriend who comforted you through it all.
your mascara stains satoru’s pillow, your drool doing the exact same. you’re acting like a total slut for his cock, mewling for him to give you more, to give it to you faster and harder. all of which is caught on tape.
“yeah? want more, baby?” satoru coos as he holds up your phone with one hand. his other one is gripping the side of your hip—keeping your ass perked up so he can continue hitting that right spot inside of your greedy cunt. the white-haired man snickers behind the camera, “c’mon—tell your boyfriend just how much y’ need your best friend’s cock.”
you know satoru’s filming himself hitting it from the back. it’s nasty, but it only serves to excite you. you know your ‘boyfriend’ will be enraged once he receives the erotic video from you. he’s never liked satoru neither, always preventing you two from meeting each other. which was a red flag by itself.
you’ll show that hypocritical bastard.
“need more, ‘toru, please—” you babble, your voice muffled by the pillow. your body jerks with each hard thrust. every move is made with precision, with the intention of pleasuring you until your insides remember the shape of his dick only, “fuckk, ‘tis too big.”
satoru grins smugly. you’re basically admitting that he’s way bigger than that excuse of a man you’re dating. his ego gets a huge boost and it shows when he drives his throbbing cock deeper into your tight cunt.
“awwh, i know, but i bet my sweet girl can take it,” your best friend encourages you through a raspy voice. the fact that he called you his ‘sweet girl’ drives you insane. your pussy squeezes around his cock in response.
satoru’s eyes nearly roll back from the way you’re gripping him. he moves his other hand around your hips until his fingertips find your clitoris. he over stimulates you until you’re crying of pleasure.
you end up clenching around his fat dick even more. it feels like you’re trying to snap his cock in half with how much you’re sucking him in. there’s not a chance of it slipping out of you.
satoru moans loudly without any shame, letting both you and your boyfriend - who’d watch the video later - know how much he enjoys pounding your cunt like it’s actually his; “y’re so fucking tight. you sure your boyfriend’s been fucking you?”
you feel embarrassed by how much you’re enjoying his dirty talk. satoru’s drilling his cock into you so well to the point that you’ve forgotten all about the intimacy you shared with your cheating boyfriend. it was nothing compared to how satoru is treating you right this moment.
the white-haired man continues, still not believing that he’s finally living out his dreams. your body is heaven to him. satoru can’t help but whimper at the feeling your pussy sucking him in so desperately, “feels like your pussy hasn’t had any dick in a good while.”
the way you’re basically screaming into the pillow is enough evidence to confirm that your boyfriend has never fucked you properly at all. that delicious arch of your back, that ass of yours bouncing back on his pelvis in circles. . . satoru just knows it.
you hiccup and try to speak. you know your boyfriend is going to see the video and that only drives you to be more vocal than you already are. you’re going to get revenge and you’re going to make it as painful as possible.
“y-yeah,” you agree with satoru’s words. your words are basically slurred—too cockdrunk to properly talk. you lift your head up for a second to breathe and continue your whiny babbling between moans, “he’s n-never fucked me as well as you—ngh!”
your voice is perfect. everything about you is. satoru isn’t sure if he’ll even last long like this. he wants to claim you as his girl already. he wants to thrust his cum as deep as he can inside of you so you’ll only think of him.
“poor, poor baby,” satoru pouts and rubs your ass gently as he watches it bounce back at him with every thrust. the view is hypnotising. he cannot grasp the fact that your boyfriend fumbled such an amazing girl like you, “it’s okay. i’ll make it up to ya, mhm? i’ll treat you like a real man would.”
you nod and whimper in agreement, which gives satoru the green light. you’re going to be his at the end of this session. he’s going to claim you as his—finally—after all those years.
you feel yourself start to tremble. you feel tingly all over and your moans are getting louder. the curve in satoru’s dick is making your mind go blank. it makes his tip hit the deepest spots inside you, the right spots. you’re desperately searching for that sweet release.
“aht, aht, angel,” satoru clicks his tongue whilst deepening the arch of your back. his fingers trace the shape of your spine, feeling you shiver from the touch as he pounds you silly. “hold it in, yeah? need you to cum for me when i do. wanna fill this cunt to the brim.”
you try to hold on the best you can. after a couple more thrusts, satoru’s breath turns shaky and his noises turn into whimpers—a sign that he’s on the edge, “fuck fuck fuck fuck! baby- ‘m gnna cum!”
you gasp and your body spasms and squirms as you reach your climax at the exact same time. you feel your cunt being flood with spurts of semen. it’s so much—as if satoru’s been storing all of it just for you.
“there there. such a good girl,” satoru sighs and pulls out of you after making sure that you’ve settled down. he takes his dick out as slowly as possible, pointing the camera right at the lewd sight. his entire length is coated with a mixture of your slick and his white cum.
you shiver at the feeling of being left empty. satoru soothes you by pushing his cum back into your pussy with two long fingers. he films the entire process, focusing on your stuffed hole for a few seconds before putting the phone up.
satoru points the back camera at the both of you, getting the entire view of the messy bed. he grins and puts a peace sign up—ending the video with a mocking yet cold smile that’s directed to the man who’s going to be watching this video soon, “should’ve treated her better.”
oh, your boyfriend is going to be fuming. deserved..
#sttoru writes.#jjk smut#jjk x reader#gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo x reader#gojo x you#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#gojo x y/n#divider by benkeibear
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