#which is a point i will make in my Essay

[joshuamj]

yall i am soooo close to writing a whole essay about my thoughts on isat but there's just so much to talk about...

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

I'm sorry but the irony of Nico calling Max unprofessional is sending me so bad like sir there's an entire garage full of people, who were literally in the trenches trying to survive the Brocedes fallout while just doing their jobs, who might have a few things to say about your (& Lewis') level of professionalism at that time 😭✋️

[ciderjacks]

Wip

[quatregats]

Something I've been thinking about is how Patrick O'Brian manages so skillfully to write characters whose actions contradict their beliefs, which I think is honestly a big part of why his characters feel so real. Mostly with Stephen and Jack—e.g., and perhaps most notably, Stephen has notably leftist sympathies (honestly I have no idea how to characterize his politics in period terms) who nonetheless becomes very comfortable with his rise to the landed gentry, while Jack is a card-carrying Tory who much of the time sympathizes far more with working class sailors and farmers than with the upper classes—but I'm sure he does it to a lesser degree with some of his minor characters (James Dillon, while perhaps not precisely minor, comes to mind), and I love that he's able to do that, especially the way in which he embeds it in the narrative. We see how they're all unreliable narrators of themselves; we understand how they want to be seen and how that does and doesn't coincide with the reality, but most importantly, this isn't presented as something reprehensible, just as a part of their own humanity. They are not their expectations for themselves, but they don't need to be those expectations to be beloved.

[galactic-rhea]

Omg your art lives rent free in my head and i'm so happy that i finally found someone who loves anakin as much as i do! Also fun fact: i'm aroace and anakin was the only reason I thought i was straight (didn't understood the aesthetic attraction then lol). Lots of love💖

Omg hiiiii!! Hello, fellow aroace, I'm aroace too! :D

You're so nice, I'm glad you like my art! I was very hesitant here at first because of my previous fandom (which I basically ran away from) was tremendously hostile, so I didn't know what expect from SW fandom and being fan of Anakin of all characters, but hey, I found my niche! There's a lot of ppl that love him (otherwise I wouldn't get that many notes, i think 😆😆).

Maybe there's a very loud angry crowd out there that think you're bad for liking him, but compared to what I experienced on previous fandom, SW fandom as I have experienced it so far, is a walk to the park

Anyways, thank you!!!!

[lightbulb-warning]

so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently

[doctorspaceman]

Thinking about this exchange in "Chapter 58: Old Friend" of Pluto... rant/spoilers below the cut.

I think it's apt for Tenma to consider himself “the only one who can save [Abullah],” as Abullah’s absolute contempt of humanity follows the loss of his children. For their parallel experiences of loss, Tenma may rightly be considered the only one who can “save” Abullah. Yet Tenma’s insistently passive, misanthropic behaviour throughout Pluto raises the question of what he thinks it would mean and take to "save" Abullah, and what the result would look like.

At this point (Chapter 58) in the narrative, Tenma has allowed Abullah to live for years as the world’s most complicated (and therefore dangerous) robot, never attempting to monitor, track, or control him. Instead, he permits Abullah to roam the Earth, guided by a rage that is also Tenma's rage: the rage of someone who has lost everything to the carelessness and violence of other human beings. Abullah's post-death freedom to navigate and 'live' unimpeded on Earth thereby embodies the continuance of Tenma's unchecked grief and rage over his loss of Tobio. This is bolstered by the fact that Abullah (or technically Goji, but I'm not untangling my take on that distinction here) is a material creation of Tenma's in the aftermath of Tobio's death. On a slight tangent - it brings to mind Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, where the Creature, reanimated by Victor, roams the wilderness, driven by an unchecked thirst for vengeance. I've encountered a lot of criticism identifying the Creature and Victor as doppelgängers, and I think a similar identification can be made for Tenma and Abullah: each pair with one driven by a treacherous ambition to create, the other violently subjugated (also racialized) and driven to vengeful destruction.

That said, Abullah's experience of loss does not simply parallel Tenma's loss of Tobio, nor does his character merely embody Tenma's emotional response to losing Tobio. Abullah’s death and revival also re-enact the death and reanimation of Tobio and re-double Tenma’s experience of these events. 

The re-enactment occurs on the basic narrative valence: both Abullah and Tobio die avoidable deaths resulting from the carelessness of others (for Abullah it’s world leaders, big picture, for Tobio the driver of the vehicle, small picture) and experience a sort of re-animation through Tenma's science. 

The re-doubling occurs on both an emotional and symbolic valence. Tenma worked in the Persian government lab, developing the Goji AI for Lord-knows-how-long. It's safe to assume he had little to no human contact in the interim, given that if he was identified or reported to be in Persia at that time, the consequences would have been extreme. Further, Chapter 48 suggests Abullah is one of Tenma’s only points of contact with humanity — if not Tenma's sole point of contact with humanity, the only flesh-and-blood person in his life — for those months to possibly years. That said, when Abullah dies in the Central Asian war, Tenma's primary touchpoint with humanity dies for the second time — the first time being the death of Tobio, who was his only family, son, and entire world. 

The factors of paralleling, re-enactment and re-redoubling prime Tenma to consider Abullah in the above scene as both dead and alive, a victim and avenger. Yet even with the above context laid out, the reader can only guess whether Tenma here perceives Abullah as reflective of Tobio or himself, an amalgamation of them both, or something else entirely. So who exactly does Tenma think he can save?

On one hand, Abullah’s existence embodies and reiterates the “Atom-is-not-Tobio” dilemma. For Tenma, attempting to save Abullah could mean lodging another effort to improve his AI, such that it better resembles the living-Abullah personality and thereby 'rescues' the deceased person. This effort, repeating (with the hope of ameliorating) the unresolved Atom-is-not-Tobio problem, could be read as an exhibition of stubbornness, ego, or repetition compulsion. So saving Abullah could mean the possibility of saving Tobio, or the inevitability of losing Tobio again and again.

At the same time, Abullah raises a mirror to Tenma’s unexpurgated devastation and misanthropy. So it's possible that, for Tenma, saving Abullah means saving Tobio — thus saving Tenma himself from his own grief. 

There is one other option I've considered — the simplest and (in my opinion) the unlikeliest: that Tenma envisions saving Abullah as the carte blanche act of alleviating someone else's suffering, that he considers the effort to alleviate anyone's suffering worthwhile. I honestly don't think this is what Urasawa intends or expects the reader to take away. It would be characteristic of Ochanomizu, sure, but not Tenma. That said, the ambiguous possibility of Tenma recognizing Abullah as a redeemable person seems purposeful. It opens up the text and enables the reader to consider the narrative and characters with compassion and grace. It also opens up what could be the only path which, if taken, would lead to the effective moral “saving” of either man, to the possibility of this redemption, perhaps not in the action but in the aftermath of Pluto.

[hellogoodbyeitsme]

Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent

Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people

[tequiilasunriise]

Annabel Lee & Fears: A Short Essay Based On Ep70

Here it is, folks, the truest crux of Annabel’s character, her deepest fears is not going mad or even people discovering she’s not as put together as she tries to appear, but rather:

Was that gambit of constant scheming and using others worth it, Annabel? Was always trying to think ten steps ahead and always keep yourself in a position of power and control truly worth it, because how can you ever be trusted when all you do is play 5D chess with everyone?

There is is, folks!!! Just like her greatest strength- her cunning willpower- is centered around a certain bright moon, Annabel’s greatest fear is rooted in Lenore. The deepest, darkest trenches of her soul, the one thing that would shatter her heart and send her lungs choking fer breath? The killing blow that would end her and make all these charades worthless? It’s Lenore seeing her constant conniving and asking Annabel, “Why would I be any different? You already have no problem using everyone else as a pawn, how could I ever possibly trust you, Annabel Lee?”

The way Annabel is SUCH a great morally grey character, y’all tell me you love hot villains yet many a time I’ve seen people calling Annabel too heartless. She’s the opposite! She cares!! SO MUCH!!! She would burn the world down if it meant kissing Lenore one last time, to the point where her deepest fear is losing Lenore in the process of trying to protect her. All Annabel knows is using manipulation to gain the upper hand because simply being born a woman in the Victorian era she was so throughly disadvantaged by such a horribly misogynistic society that girlypop had to scrape together any form of control she could. Annabel wants so badly to protect Lenore but all she knows are her own methods of protecting herself, which involves plausibility deniability and facades and sometimes sheer cruelty, and that’s where the conflict arises. From the start Annabel assumed Lenore and her had the same understanding of this ��fake enemies’ ploy going on but surprise surprise babygirl, not everyone is overthinking four parallel universes ahead like you do. This boils over into her lover having doubts on what’s real and what’s not, which then culminates into Lenore asking if Annabel is using her affections as empty currency to get what she wants, and Annabel’s first move to tell Lenore to fucken kill her????

“To you alone, I have left myself completely defenseless.”

The drama of it all!! The shattered facade leading to exploding vulnerability of it all!! The dim sun sparking out into a heat death just to prove her sincerity of it all!!! The exposed innermost organs ripping out my heart with my bare hands and begging you, “Do you see it now? Do you see the way it beats for you and only you? Tell me you see it, tell me you see me…” of it all!!

Oh baby the way Annabel still retains this deep fear of Lenore not truly believing in the “only thing that’s real” to her, the way her lover’s ghost still lingers and haunts her and is then ripped up from her innermost psyche like a desecrated grave and given form by Ada’s power. The way, after all this time- and I mean all this time from Lenore’s constructed resurrection, to their relationship blossoming into a wedding, all the fucking way up to that bell tower scene, the fucken way Annabel still never truly let go of her fear that Lenore doesn’t see her, doesn’t see how she alone bashed through all of Annabel’s walls and made a home where her heart laid. I’m sure during their living relationship all the way until the wedding Annabel’s fears were greatly settled, but it’s the fucken way these panels implied that this wretched heartache never completely left Annabel’s guilt-wracked soul.

I just know, okay I just KNOW, that even up until she was putting her wedding dress on Annabel still questioned if she even deserved this happy ending because she still feel phantoms of guilt fer this betrayal. This comic only furthers this implication of unabsolved guilt when it’s made clear as day that Annabel’s biggest fear is Lenore not believing in her love. And before anyone argues how Annabel can currently feel guilt fer betraying Lenore when she hasn’t recovered the memory yet, I’ll argue back that from the very beginning of the comic these two were inexplicably drawn to each other even when they had NO memories. Therefore, even if she doesn’t have the explicit memory, I highly doubt Annabel’s subconscious would ever let go of something as huge as deeply hurting the one person she truly cared about in such a wretched way.

Fuck, dude, I mean Annabel’s greatest fear wasn’t even Lenore dying- which was already a huge thing if y’all remember her tearstreaked, panicked, “What is left? If she’s not here, what’s the point?”- no her greatest is Lenore!!! Not!!! Believing!! Her!!! Like yeah losing Lenore physically definitely would’ve cut so deep even her bones would bear the scars, but losing Lenore in the form of the other woman walking the same ground as her but choosing to stay away?? Call her fucking selfish because some people would rather have their other half still be alive even if they’re not by their side, but Annabel ain’t one of them that’s fer sure. Babygirl has spent a lifetime perfecting the craft of deceiving others fer her own gain, but the ONE TIME she’s genuine her heart is to be called nothing more but empty??? Oh babbyyy that’s gotta fucken hurt.

The thing is, I don’t think Annabel really loves herself all that much. I really don’t. A huge focus on self-preservation doesn’t necessarily mean one really loves themselves, and when we add the aforementioned guilt she carries? Plus, the fact that Annabel being forced to swallow down her anxiety attacks from a young age could easily lead to her having a rather sour view of her 'not normal' self? Yeah no yeah, I truly don’t think Annabel loves herself that much, if at all. So really, this line is adding immense insult to already grievous injury. Not only does Annabel deeply fear Lenore not believing her affections to be true, she also fears the New Yorker misconstruing her as nothing more but a shallow as hell, prissy, little pampered damsel, a role pretty much everyone else regulates her into whether she wants it or not (right from the beginning, before she even set her schemes in full effect, Annabel was already explaining, “Ada wanted a queen, so I gave her one”). Lenore, the only one Annabel had believed to ever really see her fer her, is now discrediting Annabel’s vulnerable affections AND seeing her as that unloving ice queen like everyone else?? Horrible terrible horrible!!! She may have a ribbon threatening to strangle her right now, but it’s clear that ghost!Lenore’s words are what truly cut her down to size. Y’all seeing that fucken pain in Annabel’s eyes? Her worst fear is just so… personal.

Which actually leads me to my next point, which is how just before Annabel’s worst fear is revealed in stark, horrifying detail, we see Prospero’s. Lemme just preface this by saying what Prospero went through is n o t any less terrible and is a super fucken mega valid fear/trauma, but let me cook y’all just hear me out. Prospero’s fear seems to be about medical malpractice and/or being conscious during a painful operation that likely went south (aka ‘oh shiiitttt he fucken DEAD-‘), and that’s fucking tragic as all hell. Yet, okay let me cook here, it’s more… I don’t want to say general, because that does NOT mean his fear is any less significant but it’s like. Way back when, death via medical bullshit was more or less fairly common, especially during wartimes (which is the era I headcanon Prospero to be from); meanwhile, Annabel’s fear is so uniquely hers, it’s borne of a culmination of specific experiences tied together by her relationship with Lenore.

By contrast of a more common fear vs something so deeply personal and specific to this one person- because it’s not just unrequited love, it’s being so vehemently denied and misunderstood by the ONE (1!) person who you wholeheartedly trusted in your entire life who also oops mega died on you- this distinction gives way to an almost more raw, more visceral feeling to Annabel’s fear sequence. Again!!! I am not undermining Prospero’s own trauma, I promise!!! But you have to admit that there’s something, from a narrative standpoint, that hits so much harder with how deeply personal Annabel’s fear is. The contrast is even more great when you look at how Prospero’s involved a buncha bloodied hands not really tied to any faces or even any indication of personhood like accessories, scars, etc etc. It could’ve been a group of anyone holding him down hurting him; on the flipside, Annabel is being restrained by one very specific person we see in full view. The faceless crowd who could’ve been anyone at anytime vs the lone perpetrator whose history you know like a second name. It’s just!!! So personal!!!

In conclusion, on the surface level, one would think a character so deeply ingrained in using deceptions and manipulation would have her greatest fear tie into having her true nature revealed to everyone she’d fooled, but then it turns out it’s the complete fucking opposite. What homegirl fears the most is her truest, innermost self not being believed and accepted by just one (1!) person. The way it’s framed is just so heartstabbingly personal, especially when you parallel it to a previous fear sequence just a few panels preceding it. This is it, your honor, this is Annabel’s deepest driving force broken down to its bare essentials. To hell with whatever reputation she’s carefully crafted! Who cares what anyone else thinks of her if she doesn’t believe her, if she doesn’t SEE her. Really, truly see her. Lenore is the defining point that Annabel has revolves around so wholeheartedly, and there’s no point to anything anymore if Annabel loses her. This crux of her character, OHHH BBAAABBYY it’s just so well done because we, as the audience, have been given clear evidence to build up this narrative of Annabel’s characterization fer so long now and to finally see it come together in a fiery explosion of lesbian angst with this latest chapter??? Gods, the writing of Nevermore will never not drive me absolutely insane in the membrane.

[hollowedpurple]

Thinking about the lyrics that goes along the lines of “I couldn't hear your silence over the sound of our happiness” again and of course Satoru couldn’t hear anything else they were separated for their missions and spent more time alone and had more time to think.

In that time Suguru kept thinking of all the ways the world was wrong and how he couldn’t find it in himself to laugh again, but Satoru was thinking of all the times he made Suguru laugh instead. Because he could already see the world for more than what it seemed. Because even though he could, he narrowed his world to Suguru and Suguru’s little giggles he got out of him only.

And because Gojo remembers Geto the way he was whenever he was with him, he remembers him happy.

[karlkapri]

― Regarding the Pain of Others, Susan Sontag.  

[robynator]

it would be fun if it turns out amc!louis did actually eat the baby. it took him an awful long time to deny that and i would not put it past him to lie to make himself look better in that situation (which he is more than willing to do)

[spikeface]

scott mccall x guts julia armfield

[itspileofgoodthings]

.

[soo-won]

Hi!! I’ve been following your tumblr and Twitter for a while now and I love all your akayona analyses. ❤️ I remember your rambles about headcanoning Suwon as transmasc/transfem? Could I hear more abt that? It’s rlly cool cause I feel he’s portrayed in an incredibly gender neutral light, in comparison to many other male leads :)

Thank you so much for wonderful ask! I'm glad you like my analysis :') Idk who you are but thank you for the support!!

And yeah! I headcanon Suwon as non-binary and there is a lot to unpack about his gender imo...I very much believe akayona has a lot to say about gender especially through Yona and Suwon's characters, and in that Suwon being a man and Yona being a woman is thematically important. But the way the story presents this theme in Suwon's character in his struggle (or lack of) with balancing between "masculinity" and "feminity" can make him easily readable as trans. Transfem or transmasc and every nuance in between.

I've also been headcanoning him as non-binary from before the manga truly explored these aspects only because I'm non-binary and I related to him too so it's not that deep. But as you said he is portrayed more gender neutrally than most male characters of the cast from the beginning and I think it's worth exploring. Whether he's gender non confirming in universe is interesting to discuss too, because you have other characters like Joon-gi for example, but he's at least not really traditionally masculine from our standards when you first see him.

(Long post under the cut)

But as much as it doesn't have to be that deep, I'm also convinced it actually is and that's why I'm entering character analysis territory here, so please stay with me ahah. When I think about Suwon's gender, I just can't not think about his parents and what they represent to him and how that ties to his overall character arc. Yuhon and Yonhi are pretty much the "ideal" symbols of traditional masculinity and feminity we have in the story in their gender roles and the values associated with them. Suwon is one of the rare character we have a glimpse of both parents that lived long enough for him to remember and be impacted by both. This sounds silly but basically Suwon's gender is like,, if a man and a woman had a baby to me fnbkjhbgkjhbgh.

In universe, Yuhon represents strength, courage and reason. He is the traditional and ideal male. He is bold, brash, dominant. He is the parent Suwon deeply admires and longed to be like, and that he then took upon himself to replace after his passing. He's the figure everyone in Kouka remembers positively as a competent and strong leader. He's the parent that taught Suwon to see people as pieces on a chessboard and to always be pragmatic, to make the most effective and straightforward decisions. Suwon inherented some of these traits himself, but the entire struggle of his character is that he isn't and cannot exactly be his father, that he can't follow in his father's footsteps (or what he thinks they are) as much as he and the people around him would like. This ideal masculinity represented by Yuhon is not something Suwon is able to achieve and that we should wish for. The other side of the coin is dominance and violence, it's stealing the agency of others with no regard to their person, it's causing a chain of pain and more violence. Suwon, ultimately, cannot and shouldn't respond to all these expectations. They're not him. Because he is also Yonhi's son, which he tried to cover as much as he can as a King.

Because in contrast, Yonhi represents the "ideal femininity" that is passive, sentimental and kind. Her assigned role was only to serve Yuhon and Suwon, and had no power for much else. In appearance, she's the ideal wife and mother. She is conventionally very feminine, we see her with different garments, accessories and haircut in every scene, hinting that it's something she likes (especially when you compare with Kashi)... She's kept in the dark about Yuhon's secrets and all he does when he leaves the castle and fights on the battlefield. She has no agency. She is the parent forgotten by all, never mentioned even by Suwon, who died with nothing to her name. She is the parent that didn't want Suwon to kill Il but to think about Yona, she is the one who taught him about kindness. (i also mentionned yuhon and yonhi's respective legacy here)

And the irony is, physically Suwon is almost a copy of his mother. At first glance, Suwon is in general much more like her than he is like Yuhon. Suwon is pretty and cute, and is assumed to be weak, passive, and lacking in general as a warrior. Suwon, who wishes he was like his father, looks "nothing" like him and actually looks like his very feminine mother. And the thing is, what makes him so gender ambiguous is that he actually embraces that. Suwon uses his appearance and plays with the perception others have of him so they underestimate him (Geuntae, Soojin, Li Hazara,...) he has a very similar haircut as his mother, is interested in swordfight, tactics, but he's also into flowers, tea and sweets, he wore clothes with flower and butterflies patterns before his coronation (which is not supposed to be only a women thing of course but in universe I don't have any other example of male characters having those so I take it into account), he interacts with other female characters like a peer that share the same interests, too. He is first perceived the same way as Il and the opposite of his father or warriors like Geuntae, Mundok or Hak. He isn't like Il or Yonhi though, and that's what makes him not entirely feminine either, he actually proves himself as a man to these people after all.

But even as a child, Suwon took up the role of a mother for Yona like it was the most natural thing in the world. And in a similar fashion he also took up the role of Yuhon to "take care" and "protect" his mother, and to lead Kouka. Suwon is able to navigate both feminine and masculine roles depending on what is the most fitting to the situation at hand, and he achieves that with little struggle. This is probably the point that makes him so gender fluid? He's fine with both, it feels natural to him, this is what differentiates him from his parents' image shackled by very stereotypical gender norms. It's definitely what makes him so unique and himself. Suwon is always described as having equal interests and curiosity for everything and everyone, and it plays a part in this as well. In a world where interests are gender divided, where women are encouraged to have interest in love, fashion, luxuries and where the men are rather into sword training or studies, Suwon who can jump from one to the other with ease, like gender doesn't matter feels especially liberating.

But Suwon is actually still shackled and not immune to patriarchy and it all ties to the meaning behind the position of a King. Suwon loved his mother, and he sincerely loved Yona before the coup just like she was for being cute and kind and bringing him warmth. "Feminity" isn't a sin or bad to Suwon, he even values it. However, for him and many others in universe, all these things are unfitting for a King, like...he likes it, but he thinks he doesn't need it for his goal. Which leads us to King Il.

Suwon values "feminity" and is aware of that part of himself, but rejects it when he has to act as a King. "Masculinity" is about being strong, strong enough to protect, and being "feminine" puts you in a position of weakness and powerlessness. I don't think it's a coincidence that he inherited his illness from his mother either, which literally puts him in a position of vulnerability and weakness that he absolutely hates and tries to cover up. Feminity is fine for women and the roles assigned to them, they are lovely as they are, left behind but where they can keep being kind and sentimental while the strong men go to battle and manage affairs, basically. Kouka is a patriarchal society with all these norms being continuously enforced, and where being King was exclusively a masculine position until recent development. Before Suwon ascended to the throne, Yona was the first heir, yet the position of next ruler after her father wasn't to be given to her, but whoever would be her future husband. Yona would have been only a Queen, not one with particular ruling power, but in the sense of being the wife of the King, the same way Kashi was.

So then, Il appears as a failure as a King. He's the example and proof to Suwon that "feminity" is not compatible with the position and that he has to differentiate from him in every way. Suwon liked Il for his kindness and believed in him until he killed his father and proved to be uncompetent as a ruler. Il's kindness and reliance on the divine are unreasonable and based on emotionalism for Suwon. His refusal to use any weapon makes him a coward and weak, and waiting for the gods to save them makes him passive...It's what led Kouka to the sad state it was at the beginning of the story.

To Suwon, feelings, kindness, traits associated with feminity as we've seen, make him weak. He doesn't need it. It's what makes him reluctant and risks to deviate him from his goal and duties as a King. He can't afford to feel for Yona or anyone, he has to take the most efficient decisions with no remorse for people's feelings and especially not his. This is why Yona is so important and the lead of Akatsuki no Yona. Yona redefines what we associate with either masculinity and feminity. Strength, kindness, sentimentality, reason...They're all needed, they don't have to, and they shouldn't be divided so strickly and imposed on people based on their gender and roles. (Especially when it's obviously girls and women suffering from it the most). This divide between Yona and Suwon doesn't have to be, Suwon takes time to accept it, to accept Yona to enter his chessboard and value her as an equal and not just because she's kind and cute. And in doing so, it opens the door for him to also accept his own feelings, his own "weaknesses". Feelings and kindness actually hold so much power, they can actually make you stronger, that's what made Yona and Hak so bright to his eyes from the start, even if it took him long to fully realize it.

I feel like I deviated from the initial topic, but it's all important I swear. It doesn't mean Suwon gave up all his old ways either, he still embraces what he learned and admired in his father, not everything was forced upon him and I believe he genuinely connected with his father's vision. But it's about balancing this with the things he was convinced he had to reject and discard all this time.

That said, here are some examples of how it opens the door for transmasculine and transfeminine interpretations of Suwon's character arc, there can be others of course, but those are the ones I naturally came up with thinking about all this:

If you read Suwon's story as a transmasculine experience, it clicks. From how he was "cute as a girl" in his childhood to the experience of feeling like to be a man, to pass as a man, you have to reject everything that is associated with feminity and force yourself to accept masculine values that are just not your real self, to then realize you don't have to do all that to be a man and it's fine to embrace your "feminity" too. (Btw I really encourage you to read the Requiem of the Rose King manga that is explicitely about this topic!)

If you read Suwon's story as the transfeminine experience, it clicks too. Suwon feeling like he has to and being pushed to follow in his father's footstep when that's just not his real self. The way that he represses his self, the metaphor of closed box and how he locks his true self and feelings into them, until it becomes too much and he can't ignore it anymore. That being a man is not for him, and he doesn't have to be.

Of course, you can also read him as a cis man that is more or less gender non-conforming, or in any nuance of non-binarity in between, but in conclusion, that's what makes Suwon so gender to me. (and again, you don't need any of what I wrote in this post to headcanon him however you want)

There is also something to say about how he's "lacking as man" in how he has no romantic or sexual interest in women, if you take into account all the junctions between gender and heteronormativity that I didn't really bring up here. This point always made him really stand out to me, but Suwon's sexuality is such a Topic I didn't want to adventure myself into today ahah.

[voltstone]

I HAVE MORE PROOF VIOLET AND MINNIE WERE NEVER ✨A THING✨ I SWEAR

plus how violentine is better bpd relationship. i mean what? hm?

i dont know what spawn within be woke me up from a dead sleep but here we are.

violet gots bpd (…probably). bpd idealization is not at all a good thing and is actually a sign of a rough connection. also, there's a taste of how identity plays into it.

and stuff. but whatever. nobody likes talking about bpd and i'll just sit here and rot or something.

okay, i'm being dramatic. lol. i'll go work on other essays. this is the one that it coms from btw.