#which i do admit is bad and i'm gonna take full accountability for that so if those were your posts im sorry

[haute-honey]

astro obs.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Libras are always expected to give others something. Others always seem to look to them to give them their time, energy, love, affection, hell even their life. Of course they have issues with people pleasing because people naturally want to take take take from them. When they try to establish boundaries, all hell breaks loose leading them to never try to establish them again.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Speaking of Libra, I'm seeing a lot of posts about how *gay* we are lol Which made me wonder and think back on all the times I've had other women who I thought I was in true platonic friendships with fall head over heels in love with me and admit their true feelings to me. First time it happened I was literally in 4th grade.... How do we hetero Libras turn the gayness off or are y'all going off of what is stereotypically gay?

🤸🏽‍♀️ Libra rising are indecisive because when they make a hasty decision or impulsive decision, 9 times out of 10 it blows up in their face. Let them take their time dammit!

🤸🏽‍♀️ + libra rising kids not only experience bullying/jealousy/evil eye from their peers, they'll even experience it from full grown adults.

🤸🏽‍♀️ I saw someone mention that not liking 6th house synastry is because you enjoy toxicity in relationships...and I disagree. I think 6th house synastry depends on the type of relationship and the sign that it is in. For me, the 6th house works more for friendships and professional relationships rather than romantic relationships. As a straight woman, the sign my 6h is in is not ideal for a relationship for me due to other placements in my chart.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Furthermore, what synastry works for you best or what synastry you find to be most romantic is based on you and your chart. Don't let any of these "astrology girlies" pump your head up with bs just because it works for them.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Fellow scorpio placements (esp you scorpio suns) I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this, someone making you aware when you're exhibiting toxic/bad behavior does not equate to them being unloyal or betraying you. You need people around you that'll hold you accountable for the fucked up shit you do sometimes. No, it doesn't make them a snake or mean that they don't love you but my god, get a grip girl and be so motherfuckingly forreal.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Aquarius men aren't the challenge yall think they are... they're just detached. If that is not your style of love, move along.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Lilith energy is for women/feminines. If you are looking at Lilith through a synastry chart, the one who holds that power when it comes to how Lilith is placed is the feminine in the equation (if there is one). Men/masculines are subdued by Lilith. Not the other way around. For example, if a man's Lilith conjuncts a woman's Venus, he won't be able to use that power over her because he will not connect to it and will not know how to use it.

🤸🏽‍♀️ It is SO FUNNY when I read other observations on Libra placements. Its either we are mean girls/bullies or we are fake/people pleasers lmfao As someone with a lot of prominent Libra placements and influence, I have always had to deal with the fake allegations or the bitchy/intimidating mean girl allegations. Its like if we're not kissing ass we are the meanest bitches but if we are trying to make an effort to please everyone, we are people pleasing fake ass bitches 😆 I need y'all to pick a side and stay there when addressing Libras.

🤸🏽‍♀️ To say a venusian ruled person (Libra/Taurus suns, risings, venus) is a copy cat is laughable because they are the ones getting their swag stolen or having people wanting to be their friends to siphon their aura/vibe. Ex: Cleopatra a Taurus sun (Venus) had her "friend" copy her entire style/aesthetic.

🤸🏽‍♀️ I applaud the female/feminine Libras who have given up on pleasing others and have taken on the bitch allegations with pride because fuck these people. Y'all are weirdos who expect pretty women to fit into whatever box you feel like they should to appease your own self esteem. Seek help.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Degrees absolutely have effects on the natal chart and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! You might resonate more with whatever sign rules over the degree of your sign or rising rather than the actual sign that sit in those placements.

🤸🏽‍♀️ I saw someone say that a unevolved Sagittarius man is scared of sex........... while that could be true they are more often than not sexual deviants when unevolved.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Speaking of sagittarius, Jupiter ruled people quite literally NEED Jupiter to help them out and provide them with more luck than the rest of us because these people are the ultimate self sabotagers. They love trouble, they enjoy creating chaos often then not. And Jupiter is always there to put out the fires they start.

🤸🏽‍♀️ You can't really tell anyone what synastry is best for romantic relationships vs which ones you deem worse because at the end of the day it is all about preferences. If you like a familial feel to your relationships, you'll probably like 4th house synastry. However, if you're like me and come from a veryyyy dysfunctional family, 4h synastry will repulse you. So figure out your own vibe and what you like in a relationship and go from there.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Women with prominent sagittarius placements often are seen by outsiders as the "cool" or "fun" moms when really they can be verrrrrry neglectful towards their children. Ask me how I know lol

🤸🏽‍♀️ Saw someone say that Scorpio sun and moon placements can be backhandedly bully people and this is when I have to bring up the issues of generalization when y'all are making these "observation" posts. Any placement has the potential to be a bully. Literally any of them. However, why Scorpio sun and/or moon might stand out is because they can be LETHAL with their words (ex. Tia Kemp - Scorpio sun). Like they really know how to cut somebody up with their words and they are QUICK with it. Kind of like a scorpion with their tail. So be mindful and don't take it there with them if you can't keep up because you'll need therapy after they get done with you.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Scorpio moon women are either resenting other women or being resented by other women. It can go either way.

🤸🏽‍♀️ Gemini women are the ladies that look a mess 99% of the time and I like that about them.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Is my punishment almost over?" Emily asked her boyfriend, Joey.

"No, not yet, baby girl..... I think you need to learn your lesson a bit longer."

"But....! The tournament is in a month. How can I perform like this?"

"Not my problem.... You should've thought of that before being such a naughty girl, Emily."

Joey wasn't wrong, in a way..... Almost a year ago he started dating an Olympic silver medalist gymnast, who was known the whole world over for her skill and dexterity. Shortly after dating her, though, he was sent something damning by a random person online.... At the time, Emily was basically flat chested, yet had a cute butt and tended to give the cameras sensual, flirty looks, often blowing kisses and winking at the camera, sometimes bending over unnecessarily to give the people filming her something to zoom in on.....

Turns out when pervy guys reblogged these clips and admitted to masturbating to her performance, she would reply, happily encouraging them. On her official account, zero shame, her with the silver medal as her avatar. She'd tell these random men to 'milk their cocks good' and 'cum real hard for her tight little ass', like some porn star. Joey saw this and was very amused..... So, he decided Emily had to be punished--badly. He told her she had to obey him and take breast growth pills, to give the next national gymnastics tournament before the Summer Olympics a good show.

"I'm sorry, Joey..... you know I can't help myself. I love to flirt."

"Which just tells me how badly you need to be punished. Look at this one I found! Some random married guy posted that he wants to throw you in his van, hogtie you, and put 'a pile of kids in your pretty gut'. Did you block him....?"

She shook her head. "No....."

"Oh wait, you went on an extended RP session in the public comments about how he was going to abduct and rape you. Damn, you're one messed up girl."

"Messed up as a guy that makes his girlfriend grow a pair of boobs that weigh 50lbs each? Knowing she's a gymnast!"

"Nah, not as bad. But hey, think of all the hot interactions you'll have on Instagram now! You're gonna step out, not in your leotard, but a bikini, these gigantic udders spilling out. And you'll do your routine.... as well as you can. Think of how many guys are gonna jerk off to that."

"Fuck.... that's so hot." Emily bit her lip, fondling her pussy and breasts. "They're so heavy.... I look like an idiot with these things....."

"Well, you are an idiot. A horny, drooling idiot, too obsessed with fondling that swollen pussy of yours to care whether or not millions see you flirt with married men and RP getting knocked up by them."

"I'm.... it's just a little addiction, is all. I could try therapy...."

"Nah, I think you deserve to be nothing but walking jerk-off fodder. You're done being a real athlete. They'll just have you on because your oversized, goofy looking udders will make so many desperate, horny men tune in. And a whole bunch of normies to make fun of you."

"Fuck you.... you find these tits sexy..... You just came so hard inside me!"

"Well, I find them less sexy than I do the fact that I made you grow them. Understand?"

She nodded obediently. "Yes, master."

"Good girl, now, isn't it going to be fun watching you balance those giant tits and a belly full of my kids at the next tournament? Damn, by the time the Olympics roll around, those tits will weigh 100lbs each. Won't that be so fitting? I can't wait to see you even try to perform..... Then your career will be sitting on OnlyFans, immobilized by those cartoonish udders, masturbating all day like the drooling, horny idiot you really are deep down. You'll be flirting with your desperate, gross fans, all of your regular fans won't want anything to do with you as you sit there ten hours a days fondling yourself, surrounded by a pair of tits too big for you to carry on your own....."

"Fuck you...."

"Don't act like you don't agree. You aren't an athlete Emily, you aspire to be nothing but walking jerk-off material. So you might as well go for gold, isn't that right?"

Emily bit her lip, rubbing her heavy breasts. "Then I better go for 200lbs each...... be totally trapped by these things...."

"Now that's the perverted little idiot I love."

"I aim to please, Master. ❤️"

[dnalt-d2]

So we've got a new update on the Admin Situation, and this one's…A little complicated, to say the least.

Basically, Quackity has stated that he is opening the server tomorrow to welcome the new Korean Creators, but for the time being, there will be no NPCs, including the Eggs. He's also temporarily laid off nearly, if not all the workers he has, including the people doing the Twitter Updates.

And apparently many of them found this out through the stream, much like we did. This seems to be the biggest point of contention for many people, and I'll admit I'm not happy about it either. The only justification I can think of for this is that he didn't want people to find this all out second-hand from people who potentially don't have the all the information. But even with that, I think they should have been made aware before us, even if it was just by a few minutes. That wouldn't have been ideal either, but it would've been better than not knowing at all

The person who brought this forward initially, Lea, has stated that she knows for sure that "Jay" (The person who made the unauthorized update before) was fired, but to her knowledge, some of the other Admins who caused the problems are still employed. I think this might be one of those things that she doesn't have the full scope of information on, since we were also just informed that pretty much all the Admins aren't currently employed. We do have to keep in mind that she's getting this information from someone else who is apparently still in contact with the team. However, it's obvious that even some of the Admins who weren't initially fired aren't entirely in the loop, which means she wouldn't have been getting all the information either. So I think we need to take some of the things she says moving forward with a grain of salt

I'm not saying she's lying by any means, but when you have limited information to work with, playing a game of telephone to get that information isn't always gonna be that reliable

On top of all that, a lot of people seem to be in agreement that Quackity may have implied that money was being embezzled from him and Quackity Studios. I'm not going to say much on that, since it's TECHNICALLY speculation. However I will at least say that it doesn't seem entirely out of the question, and I wouldn't be even slightly surprised to learn that this was the case

Regardless of how it happened, there was a loss of funds, and this loss of funds means that the server has to start slower than before. Hence the absence of the NPCs on the server, and the current stop on Twitter Updates. It sounded to me like he's planning on bringing people back slowly, making sure they're paid for their roles from here on out. And as the financial situation stabilizes, we'll likely see more Admins return to their roles

I want to believe as of now that things are improving. If they weren't, I believe we would have heard about it by now, from the other Admins. We've already seen an Admins in charge of one of the Twitter Accounts say something, and I'm sure we'll get more news like that soon. But we would have DEFINITELY heard if absolutely nothing was going on. I don't think it's fair for the Admins to have not been notified beforehand, and I think that should be the next problem to fix for sure. But the way I see it, what's happening now is a step in the right direction. It's only the first of many, and not even necessarily a big step, but it's a step nonetheless

Once again, I want to remind people that we aren't going to see these changes being made until we're shown them. People can try to tell us what they know as they find it out themselves, but for all we know, they're only showing the bad parts of what's going on. We should really take any future information, good or bad, with a grain of salt as well. It's easy to say things are getting better or worse, but I think we should wait until we see the changes for ourselves and go from there

(I also wanna say that I've seen speculation from a few people, mostly on Twitter, that "Jay" is probably just Quackity trying to cover his tracks and make a scapegoat for what's happening. But with the information we have, that seems incredibly unlikely. Lea didn't know who he was when he first made his unofficial statement, but her recent tweets imply that she knows who he is now. And considering that she's the one who brought all this up to begin with, I HIGHLY doubt she'd keep quiet if he was actually Quackity)

So now, again, all we can do is wait, and continue giving our support to the people who need it. I want to believe that things can get better. I want to believe that Quackity is trying his best to improve things

Try and stay positive, everyone. Even if the server isn't the same as before, we'll be fine. Even if QSMP shuts down entirely, we'll be fine. At the end of the day, people's health and mental health is more important than a Minecraft Server, and if you feel like your mental health is being impacted by what's going on, please take some time for yourself. Worrying constantly over something we have zero control in isn't going to help anyone. If you need to take a step back, please do so. And when you're ready to come back, we'll still be here, even if the QSMP isn't. We've built a great community, and it's been incredibly fun being a part of it. And I sincerely doubt it's going away, regardless of what happens next

So make sure you take care of yourselves

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

so i just found some old interviews of spop, especially ones after the finale, and i just wanted to dissect some of the interesting parts:

the crew themselves keep reinforcing the idea that only catra saw adora for who she is, when the show itself says otherwise multiple times. catra, who mocked adora for never being a true hero, who kept hurting adora because she resented her for being she-ra, who kept saying that adora has a hero complex and that she is full of herself. that catra “motivated and inspired” adora?

“i wanted their romance to be the central arc”

this explains everything. the fact that they took an existing show with an intriguing fantasy world and so much potential and then reduced it to “cute lesbians kiss haha”. if you're gonna write a show about romance, do that. you don't have to butcher an already existing series for that.

“it reveals how that arc has been built”

what arc? is the arc we're talking about in the same room as us? because from what i can see, they put in zero effort to make c//a's development even halfway coherent. catgirl tortures hero for four seasons, gets saved by said hero and joins the good guys, continues torturing hero. how is that an arc?

so.. they have the right idea here. catra and adora did indeed need to take their time away from each other and deal with their problems. but did they? adora came close to building her self-esteem and realizing that she didn't have to take responsibility for everything around her. but then all that was reversed in s5 when she was forced into a relationship with the same person who ruined her sense of self-worth in the first place.

catra.. doesn't even try. the closest she got to moving on from her past was during her time in the crimson waste but then she ends up spiralling even deeper into toxicity, adding more and more into her list of crimes. in s5, she is shown to reflect on her relationship with adora but does she learn anything from it? nope. she continues abusing and berating adora, she continues giving adora mixed signals and relying on adora to do all the work in the relationship.

so the crew seemingly had the right idea (although i'd say they still shouldn't get into a relationship, even after they've worked on their issues) but never followed through. instead they gave us a lazy and rushed redemption, where the wrongdoer never works on their flaws and instead puts all the blame on their partner. amazing.

so nate himself admits that not all of catra's actions were justified. but then, why does the show try to justify them? why does the show justify catra abusing adora by implying that it's because adora abandoned her? why does the show justify all of catra's toxic and abusive behaviour by blaming it solely on shadow weaver? if catra's actions cannot be justified, the narrative should keep her accountable, which they don't.

secondly, i'll try not to assume the worst of nate's personality from what he said, and just get to the important part.

“It's other people's decision to forgive you, that's not a given, but also there are ways for you to fix what's broken. You have to work hard to prove yourself again, you have to actually actively fix what's done, it's not as simple as a sacrifice.”

i'm so confused. the way nate says it, you'd think he applied all of this to catra's arc. but he didn't. “it's not as simple as a sacrifice” but a sacrifice was all it took for catra to be forgiven by her victims. she doesn't work on herself, her apologies were shallow, and she continues repeating the same mistakes. “it's other people's decision to forgive you” yet every single character forgives catra immediately and none of them are allowed to stay mad at her.

how could you write such a bad redemption and then talk about it as if it had all the details and nuance it was lacking? again, when speaking, nate seems to have the right idea of how to write a redemption arc. why did they fumble so badly when it came to actually executing it in the story? the only answer i can think of is that none of the writers in the crew are good at writing.

[thedawningofthehour]

Making Fun of Rich People Round 2

This one's a little bit different. This house is in Arizona, listed for a clean 20 mil, eight bedrooms ten baths, 16,000 square feet. The outside is really nothing special, looks like every other southwestern wanna-be movie star mansion so let's

Kicking things off with a bang.

You know. I can't even say anything bad about this. Like, the other house, they were people who clearly had more money than taste and built their house as a shrine to their bank accounts. It was not meant to live in, but to prove their wealth. It was ridiculous and stupid and they deserved to be made fun of.

These people. These people know their house is ugly. They know that table was an obscene waste of money. They know that couch screams "my coke dealer was redecorating." They do not care. They love bringing people in and watching their expressions of horror. They rub their hands together gleefully as people try to think of a compliment that isn't too obviously pulled out of their ass.

I mean, come on. That green chandelier, they're absolutely trolling us.

And I'm going to be honest, this looks like a living room I'd actually feel comfortable hanging out in. I can see someone on that couch eating ice cream out of the carton at 3 AM. People sit on that rug and play board games on that table. These people furnished their house to live in, not to display.

I am still going to tease them about it, however.

I'm laughing with them, not at them.

Is it just the angle or does that bed seem super short?

I...don't even know what I'm looking at here. I think this is the closet?

No, okay, they have a whole mall outlet store in here. This is like that one scene in Princess Diaries 2 except Julie Andrews would politely show herself out.

Why the marble. Why do you need a sitting area in your closet.

I will admit, I'm disappointed that the owner of such an interesting house has this many black pumps. I get that they go with everything, but-that's the point. They're universal. You don't need over a dozen of them. I expected better shoes.

Nobody:

Rich People: "make the bathroom...ROUND."

fr, their insanity always seems to come out full-force in the bathroom. I legitimately think rich people might not poop or bathe, because it's always some crazy shit that would be incredibly uncomfortable or downright impossible to use.

Another thing I've noticed, rich people all seem to want bathroom doors that open to the outside. Why?!

Especially when this is the outside they're opening up to!

Seriously, what is the point of this?! You're buck naked and decide to go have a smoke next to some cactuses and your giant patio geode. That's all that's out here. Why. Why.

Actually, it looks like there's little paths, which...just makes this worse, honestly. Imagine you're taking a leisurely stroll through the cactus garden and you pass your parents' bathroom patio, getting a full view of your mom taking a bath through the floor-length windows.

"Yes, in our dining hall with the light fixture that looks like birthday sparklers and our collection of Totally Real cactuses."

I've seen designers rag on those unfinished wood tables before, and while I didn't really agree with them at the time I kind of do now. I think this would look cool as like, a side table or accent table, but on a dining table it's just kind of awkward.

This is the same room, they just kept panning out.

While I made fun of the other house for their grand piano, I have no doubt that someone in this family is a drug-fueled musician. This room looks mega-comfy to lay back and watch a movie in, and I love the sheep.

I'm just...in awe of the audacity.

They didn't even try to match. Didn't even pretend like they cared. And I'm not gonna lie, the red countertop is doing something for me.

"When we want the bugs to join us for dinner."

I can't stress this enough, they have multiple patio sets.

See, the last people didn't show off all their alcohol at their bar because they thought it looked more refined not to. These guys probably have art supplies tucked away in their bar just to keep you on your toes. (they don't need a bar, these are the kind of people who carry flasks around with them)

So like...objectively, this bathroom is hideous. It's way too much, the feather thing is ridiculous, that cabinet is ugly as sin.

But I kind of love it?

Just a reminder: this is in Arizona.

...I have nothing to say here.

WHAT IS UP WITH RICH PEOPLE AND THEIR UGLY BATHROOMS?!

Again with the doorway to the outside! And I see this a lot, but so many rich people bathrooms don't have storage spaces?! Like, look at those sinks. What.

More to my theory that rich people don't have any need for bathrooms.

This is the bedroom I wanted as a thirteen-year-old and just now realized I still do.

THE WALLPAPER IS EVEN BIRBS!

Like, I can't even make fun of this. I am just in awe. This entire house looks if sixth grade me had access to the Sims 3 Create-A-Style and the motherlode cheat, and I honestly love that for them. I hope these people find a new house to be extremely fucking cool in.

Leaving with these calming lemons in the backyard! Pay no attention to all the bathrooms that open up directly to the garden.

[ninjagirlstar5]

You've seen me ramble about the problems with Kanade and Chapter 3, so you know how I feel. It really does feel like LINUJ went for pure shock value instead of anything narratively satisfying. I like your take on the idea, where instead of just the shock and horror, there's actual purpose and character behind it.

The twins do really seem like they would be a great cautionary tale of mutual toxicity and obsession, and I like the idea of them reuniting only because there were people in need during The Tragedy.

And I admit I'm biased, but I'm always happy to see more stories where Hibiki actually survives ^^

OH yeah, I have. I've read most (if not all) of those asks on the ASOOT blog as they were coming out and it made me realize how bad SDRA2's Chapter 3 is. And when I actually sat down to play the game myself with my friend, I went from knowing that Chapter 3 is bad to actually experiencing how bad it was for myself. Like, it went from, "Oh, it's kinda okay so far, but I know the shoe is gonna drop at some point-" to "OH WOW, it really IS that bad, dear lord." Like, Jesus Christ, this chapter was...a lot and yet full of nothing at the same time beyond just shock value. It's not as if the whole serial killer thing couldn't have worked, the problem is that all the people that's closely connected to the case gets axed all in one go, and it's kinda just...never brought up again. Like, come on. If you're going to go THAT far, at least give it SOME kind of importance to a character connected to this shitshow, like Hibiki. Who got killed off alongside Kanade. Like, thanks, I hate it. There's so many things wrong with Chapter 3 and how Kanade was handled that the best thing to do for both is to just rewrite it all from the ground up. So when my brain started giving me ideas on how it could be rewritten, I decided I needed to get it out of my system and tried to approach it in a more human and complicated way than something as twistedly evil to the point of shock value. Kanade is at least more pitiable here since you can actually understand her on SOME level but never excuse her actions as she's still toxic in her right towards Hibiki (who's also toxic to her in return). She's just not being a serial killer about it.

AND YEAH, that's pretty much what I was going for for them. I wanted to keep the nuances of their relationship on how they're mutually toxic to one another since that's very interesting to see. There's no such thing as a "perfect" victim, as there are many that have done messed up things in response to what they've been put through but still desperately needing help or even an intervention from a reasonable authority figure, and Hibiki and Kanade could've been great examples of that. But one actively chooses to change while the other doesn't...at least in one of the interpretations of how their rewritten relationship could end as would be revealed in the Chapter 6 version of this. Ngl, I wasn't sure which interpretation I liked more as I can see both versions happening, with Kanade and Hibiki coming back together through the Tragedy as some events are able to give people an opportunity to bond and mend what's broken back together again, while other times not even a world-wide disaster will get someone to change and things remain broken due to one side having an unwillingness to hold themselves accountable for their own actions. Both are feasible in this rewritten version and I decided to let this be something for other people to decide for themselves on whether or not Kanade and Hibiki can mend their relationship after being separated for so long and if the Tragedy can bring them back together through their charity events. After all, some people have their limits and Kanade still did a lot of horrible things to other people, so it really depends on whether or not you'd believe it'd possible for them to repair their relationship, even after so many years of not talking to one another. A possible rebuilt of their relationship that unfortunately gets nipped in the bud thanks to Mikado's killing game reverting them back to a state where their old toxic behavior was at it's peak, and one of them ending up killing and getting executed because of it. Either way, we could've had doomed siblings instead of...whatever the fuck canon is.

And trust me, me and my friend are right with you on that. We really wished Hibiki had survived and complain about it every now and then whenever we bring up Kanade and Chapter 3. It's just...such a waste to kill her off like that. My girl deserved better.

[thorraborinn]

Idk if you can give any insight to somebody who is too stupid to do proper research but it’s been hard for me to make rebuttals/alternatives to the argument that capitalism has always existed for most of human history in some shape or form, like it seems like even the “honor system” (obligation to return a favor) of early humans is a form of “payment for goods and services” aka capitalism… Idk, I’ve been thinking about it a lot and it’s highkey making me not wanna join my HS debate team as it will be one of the topics apparently.

Oh yeah, I haven't heard this one in a while but it's an easy one. Trade and exchange have existed for as long as there have been humans, but not all exchange is capitalism. If it was, then the word "capitalism" doesn't really mean very much. Anti-capitalists are fine with some forms of trade, such as reciprocation-based gifting, which is that "honor system" you described there. It doesn't start to become capitalism until you have people using the wealth they already have to leverage others into generating more wealth for them. You can find isolated examples of that going back a long time, but it doesn't become institutionalized, enforced by state governments (through things like vagrancy laws, or failure to hold corporations accountable for violating the law, etc), and integrated into a full-blown, ever-expanding system -- the one we are still living within -- until the last few hundred years. It's a lot more complicated then that, and I'm not good at explaining things simply, so from this point on I'll have to refer you to the links I'm gonna post.

Even if you can't get them to budge from their position that "capitalism" (using their very silly working definition of "any trade at all") has always existed, you should still be able to get them to admit that the form it's taken since the 1600's is something different. Force them to put a name on that, and then move on to arguing against that. Don't let them corner you into trying to argue that exchanging gifts is bad, but more importantly, don't let them force you into agreeing that exchanging gifts is the "same thing" as, I dunno, say, Coca-Cola hiring death squads to assassinate union organizers, to take a random example.

For better or worse, you are probably gonna have to do some reading, but it doesn't have to be difficult. You could try this intro text: https://libcom.org/article/capitalism-introduction, which also has a bunch of links at the end for other stuff. If you want to go nuclear on them, try Debt: The First 5,000 Years by David Graeber. It's really long, but it's very readable and entertaining, and you won't have to read the whole thing to start picking apart your opponents' arguments, you can jump around. If you want to sucker-punch them with lines like "if you support the free market then you are against capitalism" or "exchanging items of equivalent value is something traditional societies do with their enemies, not their friends," you can find them in there. It's pretty easy to find an audiobook of this if you're like me and find those easier -- see if your library can get you access to the Hoopla app.

[urbanconjurer]

The Ozempic Diaries: Context, & Weeks 1-3

I've been posting a fair bit about my recent experiences on ozempic over on my facebook page, but truthfully, I shouldn't - I have some professional acquaintances on there that I'm certain don't want to read about my various side effects and reasons for doing this. So, in the interest of both documenting my experience and honestly sharing, I will try to post any further updates here. It also gives me an excuse to use this thing, so. Here we go.

So why am I on this in the first place? Truthfully, my body and mind are a fucking mess. I currently live with:

(c)ptsd/ trauma

chronic depression

panic attacks

pcos

morbid obesity (starting weight: 430lbs)

binge eating disorder

type 2 beetus (starting a1c: 9.8)

herniated back disks

t2 and being fat both run in my family, going back at least 3 generations. trying to deal with all of these conditions in conjunction with self-hatred and trying to heal from trauma has been... a challenge, to say the least.

My current primary care physician (pcp) is really fucking cool. He actually *listens* to what i have to say about my body. He does acknowledge that the weight isn't helping me, but he also doesn't blame it for fucking everything, like a sore throat.

I brought up ozempic since, like many others, i heard so much about the potential for weight loss; i have to admit that the knowledge about the lowered blood glucose came later. My doctor thought about it, agreed that we could try it, but i had to also get approval from my eating disorder therapist.

My ED therapist is also fucking amazing. She's compassionate and kind, but also willing to call me out on my disordered thinking and pushes me to do better. When i brought up ozempic, we had a long conversation about it, ultimately resulting in her giving her approval, with the stipulation that i don't use it as a crutch. in other words, I still need to rely on my coping skills to deal with binges/cravings.

I was given my first ozempic pen in early January, but i didn't take it until 23 January. to be honest, i was scared - scared of taking an injection, scared of the very common side effects, and scared of what could happen to me. would i still be the same person? would i lose weight? would i be so sick that i'd have to stop? what if i didn't lose ANY weight? Was I just hopeless? if i did lose the weight, would anything change for the better? worse?

what follows are the accounts written over the past three weeks from my facebook.

Day 3: sore muscles. not sure if related to the ozempic or if i’m just feeling crappy. so far no nausea to speak of.

Week One:

* some full body soreness for a couple of days

* lots of burp, awkward

* some very minor GI issues I won't elaborate on (added for tumblr: constipation)

honestly, it wasn't that bad, knock on wood. I haven't had any real nausea to speak of, mental health is about as good as it usually is. let's see what happens with week two.

Beginning of week 3: 0.25mg still.

the day after is usually the worst - muscle soreness all over my body, and the nausea is at its strongest. soreness goes away after a day or so, and the nausea is intermittent afterwards.

i’ve noticed that the amount of “food noise” has really decreased; i can tell when i’m actually hungry as opposed to eating out of boredom or stress (the nausea lets me know). i’ve been craving peanut butter & meat (not together), which means that i probably need more protein. im definitely fuller faster as well. no idea if i lost anything since i don’t keep a scale in the house, but my resting glucose was 106, which - while still high - is fantastic compared to what it was.

gonna keep on going, i guess. not sure when to bump to 0.5mg, so i’ll also update that when it happens.

-----

back to the present. the fatigue is the biggest issue so far. to be fair, I don't know if this is due to the lowered food intake, the medication, or the depression, but it's greatly increased over the last couple of weeks. i'm going to see if i can reach out to my pcp and see what they think.

so far, that's about it. like i said, I'll try to update this at least weekly. i think it's important to document - not only for my own health, but as a sort of record for anybody else interested in potentially trying this medication. i also admit that i have some concerns about the long term effects of the med, so this will also hopefully assist in keeping an eye on any potentially troubling patterns.

if you got this far, thanks for reading and letting me share such personal things. see you soon.

[keeganmantle]

Good morning. Is it safe here again? I'm going on with my life and continuing my thing. If he bothers me again, then he's just asking for it. I don't understand what Wang's deal is. I tried to get away from him. He's the baby for yelling at me then has the guts to just come back saying I faked the whole thing. Dude, I have the screenshots! Besides everyone knows it was real. Even that post you made. You admit making that post was wrong. What about sending me DMs with other accounts saying you're gonna find me and kill me? Explain that then. If it wasn't you. You obviously got a friend to do that. Dude, don't lie to me. I know what China can do.😐

I did block and flag those accounts which deleted the DMs so maybe he's using that as an excuse.🤦‍♂️

I did not make those arts or DMs. Of course they're real you can clearly tell! Why would I waste my time making Wang look like the bad guy? I was just documenting what he was doing and of course sending people death threats makes you a bad person. Saying all these nasty things and mentioning r*pe makes you a monster! Why on earth would I draw someone killing me? Why would I do that to myself? Wang is full of it, dude. Just don't listen to anything he says because like every person caught, of course they're gonna gaslight the whole situation. Anyone caught is gonna pretend they're being attacked. When in reality, they attacked you and they just got what was coming. Saving your reputation will get you nowhere. These people annoy me sometimes.😒

Wang, I tried to ignore you. That's why I blocked you. I wanted nothing to do with you. But no, you had to take it as far as to threaten me and say you'll attack my family. You got issues dude. I'm not the one who needs help. None of you jerks understand what I've been through. It's ok to have comfort characters. I felt safe with these characters for a long time. Because of people like you on the internet. The Facebook cougars, the AI obsessed weirdos, and now this! What is going on? Why did he attack me? I did nothing. Just tell me, Wang, why did you have to make that unnecessary post about me. What were you ticked off about? I've been on the internet longer than you have. Don't mess with me dude. Hopefully he moves on now. I'm so exhausted. I will continue to do what I love and make people happy. I will continue to make wholesome art of me & my comfort characters. I just like to express my love for them and being safe around them. I will continue to think about running in Shiver's arms. Because if these weirdos are getting mad at me for having comfort characters, then they must sense that I'm scared of them. 😏

The more this happens, the more I think about Shiver holding me or Marina defending me. Deal with it. Some people don't get it. This is so embarrassing. What the frick, Wang. Just grow up and move on. I'm sorry if I made your life miserable. Well, actually, you made it miserable yourself. What do you think was gonna happen?🙄

[when-did-this-become-difficult]

La Reina Del Sur 3 thoughts below the cut, starting with ships and going on to other random stuff

Batman x Sheila - killed dead for me by absolutely agonizing pro-life messaging and HIM TRYING TO FORCE HER TO HAVE HIS BABY AND BLOCK HER FROM GETTING AN ABORTION????

Faustino x Rocío - this wasn't too bad because they did really give them a full arc and whatnot and Rocío's actress totally demolished that death scene (complimentary) but he was weirdly cheery throughout and her death wasn't mentioned very consistently until the very end when he went in for revenge. Psychologically unrealistic, for me.

Mateo x Sofía - undeniably cute but near the end I feel like Sofía underappreciated him and probably *really* didn't get the extent to which his background in extreme poverty and addiction (possibly also racism/colorism?) was really making him feel alienated from the group. i admit she's just a teenage girl and that's fair but like somebody out here needs to appreciate him thank God for Faustino...I want a happier life for Mateo than just Not Being Jailed, if it's not going to be a happy relationship with Sofía that's fine but I need more

Sofía x Fedor - undeniably cute period but the show just kinda went eyes emoji at this ship and had people having conversations about it, but gave us no actual substance :/ I don't consider this ship as having canonically sailed

Teresa x Oleg - *chef's kiss* beautiful pining and devotion Oleg, nobody is doing it like this man, and even though Teresa has made many declarations of trust and affection to him, they've never been romantic/sexual and she's never shown romantic/sexual interest in him I feel like in another world (or fanfic) in which she genuinely is in love with him, then great! but as it is it kinda feels like she wants to be in a platonic friendship 4 lyfe and he just can't take it anymore and that's fair he deserves boundaries etc etc etc idk how sustainable this is???? They're so hot together tho and obviously action couple battle couple I *want* it. but like. it's not happening and indeed it didn't happen los escritores no me dieron ni un pinshe besito or whatever man im not crying you're crying

Teresa x Pablo - God they were so hot and like HIGH QUALITY HOT but then during the back half of the season the writers/actors/directors decided nah no more chemistry but without a proper explanation or development??? which made his eventual death hit way less hard. because by then there was no romantic or sexual chemistry so the reveal that the key to his bank account was her birthday hit way less hard and they didn't kiss *even when she knew he was dying* which I interpret as honesty on her part in deciding she wasn't into him in that way but god in terms of shipping they would've done so much better to take him outta the picture halfway rather than like severely underbake this relationship which was initially such a point of focus & so thrilling. I will say that maybe I'm biased because his thing with rescuing his dad never failed to tug on my heartstrings and they killed him like, two seconds after that, but still????? I feel like he should've gone off on a high note or at least if they decided to go platonic in the back half they should've been more explicit about that and she should've told him that they should be just friends as ruthlessly as she did to Oleg just to make it all clear/come together. either that or have her legit have feelings for him so that when she's in the car thinking back on their kiss it actually means something. you can't have both

Susana x Genoveva - they no homo'd this so hard on Genoveva's part and that was very mean. can I not have a little bit of lesbians can they not just...leave it more open ended??????? come on???????? Genoveva girl are you really gonna have this woman KISSING YOUR HANDS and then be like wait actually nope what's . what's going on here????? I demand to speak to the authorities (but Susana and Danilo giggling about her feelings for Genoveva early on? that was the real mlm wlw solidarity and I loved it)

Danilo needs a really nice boyfriend not one of these schemey guys he's been with in the past rip to Antonio who was prolly the best of them but like ???? erm. I just need a real insider type like if Susana has a brother or smth that would do the trick for me. cannot believe that Epifanio exploited him like that that was also so so mean fuuuuuck

Ernie (lol) x Kosar - LOL!!!!!! this one tickled me ngl I love that they broke up Like That, it was so mean, and I honestly felt bad for him for approximately 0.01 seconds too so they did well with it

also I know nobody is thinking about this ship but me but erm lowkey let's say after a two or three year time jump, Faustino x Paloma is kinda a possibility for me????? let that one marinate. the angst of it all and also they're both very hot and they're both like, scheming a lot. sure he refers to her as his sister-in-law nonstop but...time will do wonders?? for me???

shoutout to the hotel lady and the security guy I hope they get rich and have a nice time free of their old evil boss, I feel like they had one of the real friendship vibes and they were genuinely just trying to do the right thing/protect the hotel as was their job and the hotel lady GENUINELY was drugged which was probably traumatic...also I must say that even though Karen was evil I kinda loved her and I was pretty down for her and Fredy oops

I think it's very funny that Teresa is now being known as some type of woman saving folk hero because this is all so insanely far from reality when it comes to drug traffickers which is what she was like the ties between the drug trade and femicide???? but ok sure we'll go with that we do enjoy traffickers getting shot in the head. sure.

the plotting was pretty intricate and well done, I think! creative! much to learn from it actually if i think about it

Kate del Castillo is erm. very controversial but I must say her arms in this???? her muscles in general? that woman is so incredibly ripped and I, you must say I'm very normal about it (lying)

glad I watched it, probably won't rewatch every single episode but might go back to rewatch specific scenes

RIP Anton and Jonathan and Rocío. RIP General Garrido and Genoveva's dad. fuck Montaño and fuck Charlie all my homies hate Charlie

AND FUCK YOU EPIFANIO!!!!!!!! I KNEW A WOMAN HAD TO KILL HIM AND I WAS RIGHT. WORLD AS IT SHOULD BE AMEN. MY ONLY REGRET IS THAT HIS KILLER WASNT GENOVEVA

[veronicathegoddess]

So question you don't like right wing people. What are your thoughts on 3rd party people or libertarian per say because I'm a 3rd party person and I see the good and bad of both sides in politics

libertarianism to a certain extent, lacks the toxic individualism of other most other belief systems because the foundation of it is individual liberty while respecting everyone else and their rights which is respectable enough for me.

but the thing is libertarianism is pretty right wing and i will dare to say this, most conservatives are pretty much libertarian at this point which is concerning.

um i think that while libertarianism has some decent ideas, firstly under capitalism, a society where everyone is wholly respectful of each other's rights is impossible because capitalism thrives on exploitation and most rights are only respected when they have a benefit to someone with either political capital or economic capital. and even with rights respected, the aspect of controlling a certain section of society is still very very present.

secondly i think that libertarians need to really reevaluate their ideologies because at times they emphasize too much free will and individualism which again, is a problem as we are currently seeing with the pandemic and how selfish people are because of free will. i agree that the govt is way too invasive at times and needs to take a more relaxed role in society but at the same time, i think if we completely abolish a governmental system or remove too much of their influence, chaos will reign in society as such is the nature of humans. libertarianism needs to find a happy medium between complete autonomy and free will for all and what currently exists in society and they haven't done that as yet.

on the aspect of good and bad in politics, this may be controversial but i don't think there is any good in it. politics has become so bad in recent years that we see politicians do the barest of minimums and applaud them for it. we should not congratulate a politician for helping their constituents or for creating and advocating for helpful legislation. at the very heart of being a politician, is public service. politicians are public servants and we need to end the narrative that they should be on a pedestal. they're not idols, they're not gods, they work for us and we have the right to hold them accountable and we don't do that as much as we should.

all the aoc stans can be mad but it's true, aoc's version of "progressive" is not that progressive at all. i can admit that she does have great ideas, she goes above and beyond for her community which i respect but at the end of the day, she is a politician and we need to understand that she's not there for you to be "AOC for president 2024" in the instagram comments of her posts, but to work for the people who have voted for her to represent them.

i don't think that all politicians are bad people, just most of them but politics in the way it currently exists is terrible. electoral politics has not been working for decades and it's about time we found an alternative. i believe in democracy so i'm not saying the people shouldn't have a choice, i'm saying, the current political system does not work and it needs to be changed.

i do think that seeing the bad in politics is helpful though because it means that you are aware of the flaws in the system but you have hope in it which is both good and bad. um so you're on a path to either full on radicalization or you're gonna try to fix it somehow, either way, it works tbh.

maybe it really does have hope for the current system and i'm just a pessimist but i'm inclined to believe that even if we try to fix the system, the heart itself is flawed, it's corrupt and the same thing will happen again so we just need something new.

this is really long, i'm sorry, i'm just really really passionate about politics. feel to come back and discuss or ask questions or anything.

also just so people don't get mad at me, this is my opinion, this is simply my thoughts, um don't come for me, i'm allowed to believe whatever i want.

[ressyfaerie]

Do you still take any requests? If you mind... since you've asked about crack pair, how about Tyson x Raul? I'd like to request Tyson and Raul as backpackers and traveled around the world. Imagine if they get lost in the jungle and meet Blitzkreig Boys when in their lost.

I prefer sub version, but you can choose as long as you comfortable 😄💕

(Btw I'm @circus-and-roses but I requested with this account since I've planned to move into this blog)

I love me a good crack ship, honesty Tyson and Raul sounds dope af I can see them totally vibin. This is a prompt with SO MUCH like how do I get the demolition boys in the jungle? How gay can I make Tyson and Raul? Are they campers who can survive a jungle? How am I going to tie this together? Writing all of this in a short fic will be the ultimate challenge, you better be prepared, if i can pull this off I will be the most amazing fanfic writer/ detective genius (UPDATE I got really into it! And I accidentally started using dub names I’m sorryyyy this turned into a FULL FIC LOL) so I’m popping it into a read more: 

Tyson couldn’t stop staring at Raul. 

They had been dating two years and Tyson still felt head over heels. He would be the first to admit they were an odd pair, but after talking for hours over two meals after the championships, it just clicked, and here they were. 

Except not really, because here, was the Amazon, yeah the jungle? In Brazil? You know the one. 

The sweat rolled down Tyson’s neck and Raul almost tripped staring at it. 

“Raul stop staring at your boyfriend and focus on where you’re walking.” Hiro scolded him.

Raul and Tyson had been traveling the world for a few months, However their trip was cut short when they were called on this expedition immediately, they had to drop everything in Venice and jump on the first plane. 

Why? 

Bit beasts of course. 

Raul leaned over Tyson’s shoulder grasping his bicep and feeling it up juuust a little bit. 

“How is Dragoon?” He whispered it to Tyson, he didn’t have to whisper, honestly he just wanted the attention. 

Tyson rubbed his forearm over his forehead wiping off more sweat. He made sure he wasn’t too aggressive, he didn’t want Raul to let go of his arm, he pulled out Dragoon with his open hand. 

“He’s not as active as he was an hour ago.” 

Hiro heard Tyson clearly and gave a hand signal to the rest of the expedition team behind him who all sighed and stopped. Hiro made his way to Tyson. 

“Show me dragoon.” Hiro demanded. 

Tyson showed him his blade which was glowing with a faint blue hue. 

Hiro groaned, “With Dragoon changing it’s mind this much we’re never going to find the rock before any of the other teams.”

Tyson shook his head, “I wonder if any of the other guys are having this much trouble.” 

Raul comfortingly patted Tyson’s head. “It’s going to be fine Tyson, if we don’t find it someone else will-” 

“No Raul.” Hiro growled, “Don’t you get it? We need to get it first for the BBA.” 

Raul was too pure, he didn’t understand the companies rivalry, “But- we’re all friends-.” 

“No, not right now. Max is with the PPB they already have a bitbeast rock. Ray is with the white tigers and they want their own rock for their village, and Kai-” 

“Kai is with the Demolition boys.” Tyson grumbled. 

Hiro interrupted. “And they want the rock for themselves. Don’t you get it Raul? We have to get it first.” 

Raul sighed still holding on to Tyson, “I just don’t understand why we can’t all just- Share.” 

Hiro laughed and rolled his eyes, “Tyson you need to teach your boyfriend a thing or two.” 

“Don’t worry,” Tyson winked, “He’s gonna get it later.” 

“Hey!” Raul smirked more than happy to receive his punishment later. 

Tyson looked down at Dragoon again, still glowing the same hue. 

“You have to do it again?” Raul asked Tyson. 

“Yeah.” Tyson began to walk around the section of the jungle in circles, surveying dragoon the whole time waiting for any change in energy. He shook his head. 

“Nothing?” Raul felt bad, his boyfriend never looked so disheartened. 

Tyson shook his head again. Raul approached him and gave him a tight hug around his neck. 

“Oh my god stop I’m so sweaty!” Tyson giggled. 

“Tyson can you get serious for a second?” Hiro yelled to him. 

Tyson knew if Hiro could take Dragoon and do it himself he would, but they needed Tyson’s energy to fuel Dragoon, it wouldn’t work in the hands of anyone else. 

“I wonder how the other guys are making out…” Tyson closed his eyes and swayed his head back and forth thinking and calming himself in Rauls embrace. 

“I’m sure they’re having just as hard of a time as you are.” Raul kissed his ear reassuring him. 

“No, I’m doing better.” Tyson smirked. 

“Really? How come?” Raul didn’t believe him. 

“Cause none of them have a boyfriend as amazing as you.” 

Raul buried his red face in Tyson’s neck embarrassed. 

“You’re cute.” Tyson reached up and ruffled his hair. “Come on, let’s set up camp.” 

The expedition team set up their camp and elevated tents. Neither Tyson or Raul were fans of camping, especially not in a deadly jungle. Tyson remember Raul’s reaction when he told him he was going: 

“You know there’s birds that kidnap BABIES there right!?” 

Tyson laughed remembering his terrified expression. 

Tyson couldn’t sleep. He hopped out of bed and pulled out Dragoon. 

“Damn.” It was still the same hue and glow as before. He put on his shoes and left the tent. 

He stood in the jungle just outside camp holding Dragoon. 

“Come on! It makes no sense- One moment you’re glowing like crazy and now nothing?” 

“Tyson?” Raul appeared from behind a tree, “you can’t be away from camp like this.” 

“Raul it’s been days since Dragoon had that glow. Apparently no one’s found the rock yet. So what is happening?” 

Raul could sense his boyfriend’s frustration bubbling over. He grasped his hand and smiled at him. 

“We will figure it out.” 

Tyson let go of his hand fast. 

“Tyson?” Raul was surprised, but also slightly offended. 

“No- It’s not you- Dragoon.” 

“He is kinda glowing a bit more huh?” 

At that moment Dragoon emitted a radiant light. 

“Raul!” Tyson moved Dragoon side to side, pinpointing the location he was pointing him in. 

Tyson started in that direction.

“Tyson! You can’t just go wandering the jungle in the dark!” Raul yelled after him, “We have to go back to camp and get Hiro-” 

“Raul if I do that Dragoon might stop! I need to go now!” Tyson whined, he could already feel the power from Dragoon fading, Raul hesitated biting his lip. 

“Are you staying or going?” Tyson didn’t mean to sound so intense, but he knew time was running out. 

“I’m coming, I can’t let you go alone-” 

As soon as Tyson got permission he took off, Raul following closely behind him. 

He used Dragoon to light his way and kept increasing his pace as he felt Dragoon’s power increase. 

“Tyson slow down! Please! You’ll hurt yourself-” 

“AH!” Tyson screamed as he slid down a gully and rolled over into a stream, Raul fell behind him and collapsed against him.

Or not him? 

“What! Who!” 

The other boy got up, he had just fallen as well. Raul couldn’t see anything but feel, he grasped his arm, “Who are you!?” 

“Mff- get the hell off me Tyson-” The boy cursed. 

Tyson used Dragoon to light up the boy’s face, at the same time the boy shone a red light in their faces. 

“Kai!?” Tyson and Raul shouted in unison. 

“Don’t act so surprised, you knew I was around here after all.” Kai grumbled. 

“Why are you out here this late alone?” Tyson asked worriedly. 

“I could ask the same thing about you two

“We have each other-” 

Kai laughed, “That’s just about as useful as a Beblade without a ripcord.” 

“Shut up Kai.” Tyson shot back. 

“So why are you out here Kai?” Raul asked, clearing the tension. 

Kai’s eyes shot side to side, he was debating on telling them or not. 

“Dranzer. She hasn’t had any activity in days, and finally tonight, she was like fire.” 

“Same with Dragoon!” Tyson chimed in. 

“Odd.” Kai responded. 

The three sat in the muddy area conflicted on what to do next. The two ancient bit beast wielders stared at their blades which had mysteriously stopped shining brightly. 

“Where’s your camp?” Kai asked.

“Um-” Tyson hummed. 

“You’re lost? Morons.” Kai laughed in disbelief, they were really a lost cause. “The demolition boys camp is just on the other side of this ridge. You can stay there the night before heading out.” 

“Wow really! Thanks Kai!” Raul thanked him, but Tyson squinted his eyes wondering if Kai had secret intentions. 

Once they got to camp Tyson and Raul discovered the Demo boys were really not in their element. Kai didn’t seem to mind the heat in the rainforest, but the humidity was killing him, the rest of the boys, well they looked like icicles on a hot beach. 

They barely talked to the boys, they didn’t seem interested. Kai’s tent was the biggest so they all squished into it. 

“Don’t be weird.” Kai scolded them before rolling over to head to sleep himself. 

Tyson jabbed Kai in the stomach, “what do you think we’re going to do jerk?” 

Kai shook his head. 

Tyson glared at him, “I haven’t seen you in ages Kai and you think I’m going to do weird things with my boyfriend while sharing a tent with you in the jungle-” 

Kai placed his hands over his ears, “I’m not listening! Stop being weird-” 

Raul shot a look at Kai and coyly addressed Tyson, “imagine if we just made out right now-” 

“I will kick you out of my tent back into the jungle immediately.” Kai said deadpan. 

Eventually they all fell asleep.

Dawn broke and Tyson blinked trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He rolled over and saw Dragoon.

Glowing bright. 

Tyson ripped the single blanket off himself and shook Raul. 

“Raul get up! Now!” 

Raul made a disinterested sound, Tyson shoved Dragoon in his face and he forced himself awake immediately. 

Tyson started to put on a shoe, but his eyes lingered on Kai’s sleeping silhouette. Dranzer glowed red like flames beside him. 

Tyson could get to the rock before him. But that wouldn’t be fair. 

Tyson made sure Raul was ready to go, he held his shoe that wasn’t on in his hand.

He threw it at Kai. 

Kai sat up startled and cursing at Tyson. 

Tyson pointed to his blade while shoving on his boot. 

“Looks like we got a head start!” 

Tyson and Raul leaped out of the tent while Kai’s yelling faded behind them. 

They followed the glow through the jungle for hours and finally found a rockface. 

“Tyson we have been scouting around this mountain for days. It can’t be in the mountain, we would know.” 

Tyson held out Dragoon, the glow was so bright it hurt to look at. 

“It has to be around here somewhere Raul-” 

Raul had started climbing the rockface. 

“What are you doing that’s dangerous!” Tyson hollered at his boyfriend, but Raul didn’t seem to care. 

“It has to be on the mountain Tyson! It’s the only explanation!” 

Tyson viewed the cliff from a few steps back. It could be scaled, but it would be sketchy. He decided to follow his boyfriend’s lead. 

“Here comes my dragon.” Raul called Tyson his nickname in a cute voice. 

Tyson laughed, “You better not let this dragon catch up with you-” 

“Oh no-” Raul giggled. 

“Hey hey don’t climb too fast!” 

At the top they stopped and laid down catching their breath. 

“That was awesome.” Tyson smirked and reached for Raul’s hand. 

Raul got up on his feet and held out his hand to Tyson, Tyson took it, Raul pulled him up dragging him into a kiss. 

Tyson pushed himself away first. “That was amazing.” 

“What does Dragoon look like?” 

Tyson pulled out Dragoon again which was pulsing. 

“That’s different?” Raul knit his eyebrows.

“We must be close.” 

They continued into the dense forest on the top of the mountain. 

“Ugh!” Tyson kept throwing vines out of his face. Raul followed behind him, until finally, they reached a clearing.

“Tyson?” 

Tyson saw a familiar face on the other side of the clearing, it was Ray. 

“Ray!” Tyson was happy to see his friend, he noticed Driger in his hand, glowing brightly. 

Behind Ray, Max popped out from behind him, “Tyson!” 

Max ran toward Tyson throwing out his arms and giving Tyson a massive bear hug. 

“Ah! You’re killing me!” Tyson groaned but wore a huge smile.

Max pulled out Draciel, “Is Dragoon pulsing too?” 

“Yeah.” Tyson showed Dragoon to Max and Max showed him Draciel in return. 

Ray approached them with Drigger as well. 

“Did you guys have as hard of a time getting them to show the way as much as I did?” Tyson laughed and scratched the back of his head. 

“Oh yeah.” Max sounded exasperated, Ray nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah me too.” 

Another familiar voice.

“Kai!” Max screeched and approached Kai with his bear hug embrace. 

Kai tried to shrug him off but gave up receiving a light hug. 

“Okay. So now what?” Ray questioned. 

“Um…” Tyson looked around the clearing hoping for an answer. 

“We’re on top of a mountain, and this is where our bit beasts are strongest.” Kai pointed out.

“Let’s try putting them in the middle of the clearing.” Max suggested. 

They all shrugged, no one had a better idea. 

They all piled their beyblades in the middle of the clearing and sat in a circle watching their blades pulsate. 

“Well. It was worth a try.” Ray pointed out awkwardly. 

Raul kept scratching at the ground and messing with the rainforest substrate. 

“If you keep doing that you’ll dig to the other side of the earth.” Tyson joked. 

Raul laughed but frowned when he touched something hard in the ground. He started to dig away the moss and dirt revealing a perfectly smooth rock underneath. 

“There’s no way you found it just like that.” Kai was mildly pissed off. 

Max started to pull away moss and dirt, then Tyson and Ray joined it. They had cleared half the clearing revealing the smooth rock which also seemed to have designs engraved into it. 

“Come on Kai help us!” Tyson yelled at Kai. Kai uncrossed his arms reluctantly and got down and started digging as well.

“Wait.” Tyson stopped.

They all stopped to look at him. 

“What if this whole mountain is the rock?” 

They surveyed the clearing, they had almost unearthed all of it and the smooth surface just kept going. 

“I think you’re right Tyson.” Ray laughed. 

“So-,” Max stood back up awkwardly, “Who found it first?” 

You could cut the tension with a knife. 

“The bigger question is, who can transport an entire mountain?” Ray laughed thinking how absurd the situation was. 

“How about, the bladebreakers found it.” 

Tyson suggested it but was met with different expressions. 

“It’s really the only option.” Kai stated bluntly.

“We will all have to share the discovery.” Ray grinned, knowing it was for the best.

“Oh!” Raul jumped. 

“What?” Tyson couldn’t stop admiring his cuteness. 

“So we’re all sharing then?” 

Tyson blinked realizing Raul was right. “Yeah! Ha! I guess we are!” 

Raul drummed on Tyson’s arm excitedly. 

“Oh I can’t wait to see the look on Hiro’s dumb face!” 

[bard-llama]

I apologize for using "being needlessly mean to people (specifically, you) on the internet" as a means of venting, but I'm still gonna do it anyway

Fuck it fam, I’ll jump off anon since you called me out on it. At least now I can write a proper response since I’m not trying to cram my wording into an ask’s character limit. Maybe now I can focus more on my actual points instead of spending 75% of the space reaching my post-ly Asshole Quota™

Also, there’s a TL;DR one paragraph from the bottom, in case you’d like to be Spared My Bullshit™ without skipping it entirely.

Anyways, responses to numbers:

1: Who chose it then lol, given that this exchange stemmed from a post about chosen names. You say you’ve “professionally been Llama for over a decade”, so it obviously isn’t your birth name. And if you say “X person suggested it to me”, then -you chose- to use that suggestion.

2: Fine, let me be more clear: “Obligation to respect someone’s name” only goes as far as recognizing it as their name. I’ll gladly call you Llama if that’s what you say your name is, but I’ll still say Llama was a hella dumb name choice given that the animal the word refers to is most well known for having ugly teeth & spitting on people. (And you can’t even say ‘akshually, there’s another, better-as-a-name meaning of the word and that’s how I chose it’, given your profile pic). Criticism, however harsh or mean-spirited, isn’t disrespect. You wouldn’t say “you can’t call out right-wing Christians on their homophobia because that’d disrespect their religious beliefs!”, y'know?

Also lol, as someone whose own non-English name constantly gets mispronounced by rightey-whitey Americans, I can tell you that I actually take language & culture of origin into account for this stuff. Like as an example, “Daiben” would both be easy to pronounce and not read as “silly-sounding” to an English-only speaker, but it’d be a -fuckawful- name for a Japanese person given that it literally means “shit” in that language. In turn, I’m sure there’s some language out there where “Poopoo” translates to “full of energy” or something similarly nice, meaning even though it’d sound ridiculous at first to someone who only speaks English, it’d be a perfectly fine name for someone who grew up in that language’s culture.

I only make fun of people who pick existing words whose meanings make for utterly terrible names for a person, or people like Elon Musk who name themselves/their kid a literal keysmash. People who make fun of “foreign-sounding” names just cuz said names sound silly to them are assholes in the “irredeemably bad” way, not the “tough love” way.

3: So I guess by your view, it’s inherently wrong to call Nazis absolute pieces of filth who’d be better off dead if they can’t be re-educated, because in doing so we’d be being an asshole to said diehard Nazis?

Also lol, I -absolutely- have a right to decide what being an idiot means to me. I’m allowed to have opinions, lol. And while I may not be -obligated- to try to stop what I perceive as idiocy, it’s certainly within my personal autonomy to decide to try anyway for whatever underlying reason I want.

And yeah, my whole point was that just because they aren’t openly being a dick to you about it doesn’t mean they don’t privately think it’s a dumb name lol. Unlike those potentially-dishonest people, if I think someone is doing something dumb I’m not gonna hold back saying so just for the sake of their feefees.

TL:DR Obligated respect only goes as far as recognition, criticism isn’t disrespect even if said criticism is snide/assholey/etc. I can recognize & respect that your name is Llama while still saying “but seriously dude that was a -terrible- choice”. Also, remember that on this site we’ve pretty much collectively agreed that rather than respond to their calls of “calmly debate me!”, it’s better to insult & punch & generally be assholes to Nazis to get them to stop their bullshit. You’d be foolish to try to label that as “inherently wrong” action to take.

Also PS: As for the “Why this”, it’s because very nearly all of my time is “free time” nowadays, so I no longer have any sense of task priority. Something grabbing my attention enough to inspire my own response (such as the initial post chain on this topic) is liable to cause me to remain engaged with it longer than most folks would, simply because I literally have nothing better to do. Granted, there’s a lot of fucked up shit underpinning how I got to that point, but I’m not gonna send you a TMI wall-of-text explaining the psychology & trauma that goes into someone becoming my sort of internet troll, at least not unless you go “no fam actually I’m -really- curious as to how someone gets that fucked in the head.”

--

Wow, this is a ride, buddy. You’re a self-admitted asshole, so I don’t imagine that my response will do much but WOW.

1) Not that it’s any of your business, but the name Llama was given to me. 

2) You literally admit that you make fun of people for their name. What the fuck is wrong with you??? You’re a fucking bully and you sound proud of it. 

“Criticism, however harsh or mean-spirited, isn’t disrespect.” Yes it is???? First off, there’s no criticism here. Criticism is intended to help someone improve, especially in skills. My fucking name isn’t something you can criticize. What you’re doing is just straight up being a dick and yeah, extremely disrespectful. 

“Also lol, as someone whose own non-English name constantly gets mispronounced by rightey-whitey Americans, I can tell you that I actually take language & culture of origin into account for this stuff.” So what you’re saying is you’ll respect people whose names you view as “valid”, but no one else. Which boils down to the same thing - you’re a fucking dick. You don’t get to decide whose name is valid and whose isn’t. You don’t get to decide that a name is only “good” when it comes from one language vs another. It’s literally not your fucking business where people’s names come from??? 

What’s funny to me is that people have no problem using “silly nicknames” on the internet, but as soon as it’s applied to reality, suddenly it’s untenable? Guess what? Some people actually go outside and experience reality and when it comes down to it? They don’t fucking care how “silly” your name is, they’ll just use it because it’s your fucking name.

Like, I really don’t know how to emphasize this more: making fun of someone’s name FOR ANY REASON makes you a bully and an asshole. Period.

“People who make fun of “foreign-sounding” names just cuz said names sound silly to them are assholes in the “irredeemably bad” way, not the “tough love” way.” There is no difference here. Literally, both categories of asshole are bullies and are out of line. Additionally, I don’t fucking know you and you have no right to apply your ‘tough love’ bullying.

3) “So I guess by your view, it’s inherently wrong to call Nazis absolute pieces of filth who’d be better off dead if they can’t be re-educated, because in doing so we’d be being an asshole to said diehard Nazis?” Where the fuck did you even get this take from?? What I said is that everyone deserves to have their name respected. Period. How you bring that to nazis says more about YOUR views than mine. But for the record: deciding that some people “deserve” to have their names made fun of makes you no better. One hopes that you aren’t advocating for the elimination of marginalized groups, but frankly, your views are the first step towards that. When you decide that there is a group for whom it’s “acceptable” to bully and make fun of, you are taking a first step towards what is called eugenics when it’s systemic. Fortunately, I imagine you have no power to make things systemic, considering you get your jollies harassing people on the internet.

“And while I may not be -obligated- to try to stop what I perceive as idiocy, it’s certainly within my personal autonomy to decide to try anyway for whatever underlying reason I want.” No??? Like, what the fuck??? You perceive my name as idiocy and therefore try to... what? Make me ashamed of it? Make me hate myself? Exactly what gives you the fucking right? You have a right to personal autonomy, sure. That also means that you have to face the consequences for that autonomy. And here are the consequences for this: you bullying people over their names makes you a fucking jackass. It doesn’t matter where the line you say is “acceptable” for a name is - you’ve arbitrarily decided that YOUR autonomy is more important than theirs.

“Unlike those potentially-dishonest people, if I think someone is doing something dumb I’m not gonna hold back saying so just for the sake of their feefees.” Once again, this is called being a dick. Period. First off, you have no idea what the people in my life think about my name. Secondly, there’s this little thing called courtesy wherein you aren’t a fucking asshole to people. Sounds basic, I know, but apparently this is beyond you.

Literally, what someone calls themselves isn’t your fucking business. Your obligation is to use someone’s name as they present it and THAT’S IT! You don’t follow it up with “hey, by the way, your name is stupid”. Why the fuck would you do that? It’s not about “feefees” it’s about being a respectable member of a community. Because guess what? When all you do is insult other people, you find yourself ostracized from the community and on your own when you need help.

But what would I know? I’m just a “stupid” Llama.

Also? Get a fucking life. It takes 0 effort to just keep scrolling rather than reach out an insulting people for no fucking reason. I never asked for your opinion and frankly, I don’t care what you think. 

tl;dr: You’re an admitted asshole who bullies people who you decide do not deserve respect based purely on their name. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Existing in society, in a community, means having basic respect and care for others - and means NOT bullying people over shit. Like, literally, just keep your thoughts to yourself??? It’s not that fucking hard???

[markwrecksmysoul]

Maybe in the future- Yoongi scenario

You walked along the pavement with your umbrella covering you from the falling rain, today was a pretty dreary day on account of the soggy wet atmosphere.

Your boots splashed onto the tiny rain puddles as you marched yourself to the nearest coffee shop in need of a boost to get your Sunday morning rolling.

Your mind was so occupied with the thoughts of caramel and whipped cream in your future you failed to notice the man in front of you. Your chest collided and you stumbled back taking the brunt of the collision.

Before you could fall a pale hand wrapped around your wrist stopping the fall.

"Are you alright!" His smooth deep voice vibrates through your chest sending chills down your spine, so familiar.

"Oh! Yes I'm fine sorry about that I'm still as clumsy as I ever was ha." You straightened yourself up gaining back your balance and looked up to thank the man. Your chest constricted and you let out a small gasp as you locked eyes with him.

"Y/n?"

10 years earlier

Y/n pov

You looked at the mint haired man sighing as he laughed with a group of friends. Min yoongi was one of your older brothers best-friends, he'd come over to hang out with your brother, and was always around, so naturally you caught what you thought was only a temporary crush on the man.

After months of endless dreams and butterflies in your stomach, you realized your crush was bigger than you thought. But of course the universe was against you. While you were barely a junior in highschool at 17, yoongi was 21 years old.

And that was a huge deal.

Even so your crush grew for him every time you laid eyes on him. He was the perfect guy. Funny, smart, kind. He was more on the quiet side and came off a little cold at first, but once you got to know him he was full of energy and warmth. Which only served to make you like him even more.

But it was wrong you knew it would never work out.

"Got any fives?"

"Go fish".

Right now you were stuck playing a card game with him waiting for your brother to come home with the special deluxe pizza.

You sighed placing his cards down. "This game sucks you wanna play something else?" Yoongi dropped his cards down. "Uh like what?" You hummed rolling onto your back on the living room carpet. "Truth or dare?"

Yoongi shrugged. "I guess we could play, but I'll warn you I give pretty lame dares". You smiled sitting up. "Alright we'll start with you then truth or dare?" Yoongi thought for a moment before saying.

"Truth".

"Hm is it true you dated one of my brothers exes before?" You asked dying to know since your brother wouldn't budge about the topic. Yoongi winced. "Going straight for the kill are we? Well yes it is true the whole situation was complicated." You nodded satisfied. "Okay then kiddo truth or dare." Your smile faltered but you kept it back up. "Truth".

"Uh who do you have a crush on?"

How ironic, the object of your affections asking who you liked. You looked away trying to come up with a decent cover up.

"I uh don't really like anyone right now". He rose a brow but nodded you quickly moved on. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare". You scrambled to come up with a decent dare to give him. You stuttered. "Uuuuhhh ok I dare you to take off your shirt!"

Wait....what...WAIT!

"your wish is my command then".

Before you could protest Yoongi stood pulling off his shirt, you tried to look anywhere but at his body. He sat back down with a grin on his face. "Truth or dare?" You wanted to avoid another truth telling fiasco any dare is better than admitting your own feelings.

"Dare".

"Okay since I know you weren't telling the truth earlier, I dare you to tell me who you like." You huffed. Except that! Any dare except that!

"Oh c-come on! Can't you dare me to strip and run around the neighborhood or something!" 

Yoongi snickered.

"Trust me as much as I'd love to see that no take backs fess up who do you like? Can't be that bad?"

You sighed. You were a terrible liar if you gave him a random name he'd see through it for sure. On the other hand if you confessed to him what would he say? You couldn't just...TELL him that was suicide!

"Come one y/n I wouldn't judge yo-mph!!" You leapt over the card deck, hands grasping his shoulders, and smushed your lips onto his. Yoongi froze like ice underneath you. You felt immediate regret wanting to pull away and hide somewhere when his hand found its way to your hips and he responded cautiously.

It had been your first real kiss, as soon as he responded your body was in flames. As you both got more into the kiss you straddled his lap grabbing his face. You were in bliss. Finally you'd kissed your crush, and he kissed you BACK.

Until the kiss was broken suddenly.

"Wait wait y/n stop".

You reluctantly pulled back looking at him while catching your breath. "I uh- look don't get me wrong y/n you're a...you're an amazing girl but we can't do this" Your heart fell.

"I think we can."

Yoongi shook his head. "You are a smart, funny, and gorgeous girl y/n but you're 17 years old. I'm 21".

You sighed. You could tell he was uncomfortable bringing this up. "I-I'm sorry for not handling this sooner y/n but you're too young for me."

Silent tears streaked your face as you got up off his lap putting a distance between you both. "So you don't like me?"

"No! No! Of course I.....well I like you but I want the best for you! And hanging around a college kid while you're barely in high school is just gonna make you grow up too fast. Enjoy your childhood date some people breakup over stupid reasons. Make some mistakes."

You cried even though you knew he was right. 

Just then your brother waltzed back in with two pizza boxes. "Heyyyy I got the pizza woooo!" He shimmied into the house with a smile but stopped seeing a shirtless Yoongi and his crying little sister with cards spread all over the carpet.

"uh did I miss something ?"

Present day 10 years later

"Y/n?"

You looked at min Yoongi shocked. Of all the times to see him again.

He changed. Gone was the rebelliously dyed green hair, he instead had his natural brown-black hair messy from the rain and humidity, he was dressed well in a grey shirt under a black blazer jacket, his hands shoved into his black jeans pockets.

But his face was still the same.

He looked exactly like he always had give or take a few minor tweaks, to show he had grown up in the last ten years since you saw him.

"Yoongi? It's uh good to see you." You smiled at him politely. He grinned pulling you into a hug. "It's really good to see you. You've grown a lot I see". You smiled nodding. Your braces had been taken off and you committed to growing out your natural hair years ago so now it was long and healthy pulled up into a bun.

You opted out of glasses instead decided on wearing contact lenses. Awhile back. It was safe to say the teenage y/n was a thing of the past.

"Well you look good y/n". You smiled looking at the ground awkwardly. "Uh yeah you do too...you haven't changed much. Uh not that you didn't like improve but I mean you dyed your hair back! And um it all uh you just look-I err I'm gonna shut up while I'm ahead."

Yoongi laughed. "You still ramble too and thank you. So where you headed?"

"The cafe, I'm in desperate need of caffeine." Yoongi nodded. "Hm let's go then I'll treat you, so we can catch up on lost time".

He started walking in the direction of the coffee shop ahead of you. He turned around glancing at you.

"You coming?"

"Oh yes um let's go!"

You followed after him feeling your heart pick up again like it used to all those years ago.

Fin~

*This is a repost from my Wattpad account if any of you follow me there I post even more stuff about got7 and bts and loads of more smut than I do here.

My account name is

adrenaline_hypegirl

Masterlist

[psychotic-psypport]

Thank you for your blog!!!

TW: media ableism, slurs, delusions, nonverbal auditory hallucinations, mentions of bullying, mentions of misdiagnosis

CW: infodump

How do you feel about reclaiming fictional characters who are written by ableist writers but nevertheless mean a lot to you? I have this one character, we are almost polar opposites in some important things, but I have always related to them so much in terms of mental illness, to the point of once, soon after I first met them, having a delusion on being them under human disguise with false memories (a thing in this canon, it is generally extremely psychosis-triggering and I'm making a list of the main triggers to post. Several affected me back then, but even though I still love that canon). That was way before I got diagnosed, first thought that they might be schizo-spec too and actually learned what schizophrenia is (pretty much in that order).

They are one of the core reappearing antagonists, and yes, that's as bad as it sounds. I'm on my way on going through all their appearances, but for now I'm mostly familliar with the later ones. So, I don't know how schizo-spec were they shown originally, but :))))) I know that the main character called them "m*d and paranoid" in one of the early appearances :)))))) F*CK. The character responded that everyone is, but they admit it. Fast forward to the time where the series died and after 15 years of books-and-audios-only was revived on screen: that's when things got HORRIBLE. The character got introduced into the revived series returning from being disguised as human with false memories, what I mentioned earlier — thanks for inducing delusions!!!!! Much appreciated!!!!!!! But this was, like, the least bad part for a while. The writers suddenly gave them a constant abstract auditory hallucination (four-beat rhythm, the heartbeat of their species) which they never had been mentioned having before, AAAAAND they got a delusion that it is "calling for them", and tried to turn Earth into a warship and conquer the universe thinking an eternal destruction might stop the drumming. Things are even worse because the actor still wanted to give them depth but the writer/showrunner 'pushed him to play "giggling lunatic"' (TV Tropes quote)! In their next appearance, still with the same actor and writer (also the last episode by that writer) they are still psychotic, but this time they have a lot of depth and it's honestly still my favorite episode in the entire show. But, don't know how it counts, but: their hallucination turned out to not be a hallucination but was implanted into their head as a child so that looking for the means to stop it they would save their home planet from the eternal war (the story is actually longer than I said it) and then the person who did this wanted to dispose of them.

Oh and yes I had this hallucination when I had the delusion of being them and thanks to that shit I thought it's more than a simple hallucination without any additional delusions :)))))))))

Their next several appearances, with a different writer and a different actress, are usually much less ableist in itself, but the actress constantly called them cr*zy/ins*ne/etc in interviews and there are some other gross ableist things. The previous actor and writer did that too. And the next, current actor and writer seemed to be a GIFT — they recognized them as mentally ill, recognized their depth, they did not call them names, they respected them!! And the actor is an absolute GOD in playing them. But some of the promos were f*cking ugly, and in the last interview the actor did, in the end, call them cr*zy. That was a full stop knife in the back. I could not believe it.

The main character is repeatedly ableist to them too — "m*d and paranoid", "psychiatrist field day", "a lunatic". Thanks, I hate it

So, why don't I throw it all into the Ableism Garbage Can?

They were pretty much the first character to whom I related in terms of mental illness. Like me, they were emotionally unstable, codependent, depressed, constantly on fire mentally, had lifelong identity crisis, and that was way before I learned what else united us.

Also, they, together with the main character, were bullied as a child, and it was the first time I saw a character who shared the traumatic experience which unfortunately shaped my whole life, and their experience wasn't mocked in any way. That meant and still means SO MUCH to me.

(and yes, this point was written by an entirely different person than those who wrote them in the revived TV series)

When I got diagnosed, I first thought that I was misdiagnosed — I thought I was autistic for a long time, and I got diagnosed with Pseudoneurotic Schizophrenia, which is a subtype of Schizotypal in my country, and many autistic people in my country get misdiagnosed as schizotypal. But I started to read about it and it was the first thing ever that explained what the hell was I going through.

(I still think I'm misdiagnosed — I'm most probably Schizoaffective bipolar subtype, but the doctors in the hospital didn't take my bipolar symptomatic in account. I'm going to a new psychiatrist this Sunday, and I hope to talk to him about it)

So I desperately needed schizo-spectrum characters to relate. Characters to relate were always a biggest thing for me, long before this one. Aaaand I first had a thought, then fully realized that they shared this experience to me, too.

I first met them five years ago, and got diagnosed half a year ago, all this time they were there for me when I most needed it, along with several other characters, but they are still the only schizo-spectrum character among them. I don't want to let go of them. I want to reclaim them.

What I told about are not the only instances of them showing schizo-spec symptoms, and I want to make a big post on it once, perhaps when I'm familiar with all their appearances. And I'm on my way, and I'm moving!

I'm also writing a fanfic about them, and I want to explore the topic, along with everything that I appreciate in them and a general deep character study.

Also: their homeworld used "insanity" as a term about them — it has probably about early XX-century concept of psychiatry (barring the sh*tty gender things, literally the only good thing about that society is a complete absence of gender), and back then it was a legitimate term for psychosis (please don't think I'm defending the early XX-century psychiatry or the character's homeworld). So, pretty much confirms.

My answer for this is probably gonna be a lot shorter than the ask, mostly because I feel a very strong pull in one direction.

It's ok to claim characters like this! Death of the author! Frankly, we've seen it happen a lot where the whole fandom of a piece of media goes "ok, my character now". It's especially understandable if you relate to this character like you do. Honestly, take what you can and take what you want from this and discard the pieces you don't want. You don't want to defend this behavior of course, but there's not a thing wrong with claiming this character as your own and finding yourself in them. You are allowed this, and you don't have to ask anyone's permission. Kinda like the other ask I got earlier, who finds themself in and enjoys the Shining, it's ok to enjoy it even if it's problematic. We don't get much representation, so mostly we come away with villains, which sucks, but you get to do with those characters what you please, no one can stop you from relating or feeling connected to the character. If they give us the scarcist representation possible, is it really a failing on our part when we connect with the few characters we find like us? I don't think so. It's only natural to seek these parts of yourself in media, and they just happen to mostly show up in an ableist/derogatory/stereotypical way with villains.

[moorehollandplz]

Undrunk :-: T.H.

Authors Note: This slammed into my brain without warning. Based on the song “Undrunk” by Fletcher. Italics indicate voicemails.   If you enjoy my writing please like and reblog! And check out my other stories on my Masterlist.

Summary: Leaving Tom a series of drunken voicemails in one night… two weeks after a terrible break up.

⚠️ Warning: angst, adult themes, drinking, language, mentions of sex and self touching

Word Count: 1930

Tom woke up to the sound of his phone pinging and vibrating, which was alerting him to messages he’d received overnight. Most nights, he kept his phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ so any calls or texts came in silently for him to review in the morning. He sleepily cracked one eye open as he fumbled for the phone. He unlocked it with his thumb and slowly dragged himself into a sitting position. He lazily rubbed his face with his left hand as he looked down at the illuminated screen. First, he checked his private Instagram, the one he used only for his close friends and family. He checked the likes and comments on his recent uploads. Then decided to scroll through his feed a little.

Suddenly, he stopped scrolling, his breath hitched in his throat, and he just stared for a moment. There you were. Arm slung around a mutual friends waist. Red solo cup raised high in the air. A beautiful smile spread on your face, one that told a story of how much fun you were having. You were clearly one sip away from wasted. He checked the date stamp on the photo and saw that it was from the previous night.

Tom noticed that the post had multiple pictures attached, so he sucked in a shaky breath and swiped left on his screen. Again, your smiling face assaulted him. This time you were pouting. But, your eyes were still bright with laughter. Your cup was raised just under your stuck out bottom lip, as if you were about to take a sip when the photo was snapped. He tore his eyes from yours, which he had always found himself getting lost in.

He swiped left again. This one took his breath away completely. It was candid. It was stunning. You were outside around a bonfire with a few others. Everyone around you was laughing and appeared to be having a good time. But, not you. You were staring off into the distance. Your eyes were glassy as if you had been crying. Your cheeks were pink. Your hair had been blown slightly forward so some pieces were in front of your face.

Tom found himself wondering what you were thinking. What had made you cry. Even though, he knew the answer. Even though, he wasn’t supposed to care. Not anymore. He shook his head trying to loosen his thoughts and closed his Instagram app. Having had enough of the memories of you and that night two weeks ago.

He decided to stay off his other social media accounts. He really couldn’t take anymore pictures of you popping up in his feeds. So, his eyes settled on the green phone icon. His eyes widened at the number in the little red bubble next to it. Eight. He opened the phone app and saw he had four missed calls and four new voicemails. All from you. He covered his mouth to stifle a groan and he looked to his right at the naked body of the woman he’s been trying to fill the void in his heart with for the last week.

He slowly shifted out of his bed and tip-toed out of the room. He closed the door behind him softly, definitely not wanting to wake her up. He moved silently through his quiet apartment. He plopped down on the couch in the living room and he let out a huff of air that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

He closed his eyes and clicked the first message.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Y/n Saturday 3/30/2019

2:37 am

“Tom? Uh… hey. It’s me… I don’t even know why I’m calling. I’m veeeeery drunk. Hahaha… I’m at Bryan’s party. I only came, because they said you couldn’t make it. Why did I say that? Ugh… I should really go home. This party has been… over for a while now. Every… everyone important is either passed out or gone. But…. but I’m scared of being… sober. Sssssssth… ow! I just got lime juice in a paper cut from work! You don’t need to know that. Shit that burns… but not…. not as bad as thoughts of you… (mumbling)... Yeah? Oh… shots? Out by the fire? Coming! Yeah I’m on the phone… no it’s no one… just someone I used to know….”

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Silence. Tom’s finger hesitated over the delete button. He shouldn’t be listening to these. To you. After what you did, he should hate you. He needed to hate you. But, he loved you so deeply and he just couldn’t stop himself. He passed over the delete button and pressed the next message, instead.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Y/n Saturday 3/30/2019

2:51 am

“(Sniffle) T… Tom… It’s… me… (sniffle) I’m sitting on a bed. I’m… not sure (sniffle) where I am. I think I’m still at… (sniffle) Bryan’s. It’s dark. My clothes… I don’t know where (sniffle) they are… I think I… I made a mistake. I don’t remember. God my head… (Gasp) He moved. Please don’t wake up. I need to… to get out of here. But… (sniffle) I don’t want to… turn on the light. I don’t want to see who… who it is. (Shifting) I wish I could see you... I want to come over… (sniffle) oh fuck… (sob) that’s weird to say… especially after… And I know… (sob) I know… she’s there. Of… course… she is! (Loud bang) FUCK! Oooowww… (Mumbling) Oh… no… I’m fine... I think… yea I’m just gonna head home. No no no… I’ll find my way. I’ll call an Uber. Hahaha… please no… don’t. Just go to sleep. I’ll be fine. I always am. (Door click) I need a shot.”

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Silence. Tom felt his heart break all over again. He couldn’t believe you had called him after having just had sex with someone. He felt tears stinging his eyes. But, he refused to let them form. He shook his head and thought about not continuing. Sure, this was only going to get worse. He wasn’t sure his heart could take anymore of this. But, he needed to hear the rest. He needed to hear your voice. He hung his head as he pressed the next message.

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Y/n Saturday 3/30/2019

3:34 am

“Tom… hi… me again. I’m sorry I keep calling, but I hate being alone…. and drunk. All I do is look at all the old pictures of you. You know the ones you sent me. The ones from Venice. I should have deleted them, I know. I'm sure you deleted the ones I sent you… so she wouldn’t find them. I get it. But, i just can’t seem to let go of them. Mmmm… I find myself getting… you know… aaah… and I just can’t… mmmm… let them go…. not yet…. Ooooh… This… this is my… ha… ha… secret… aaaah… crazy right? Hahaha! Oooh... Mmmmm… Tooom… Ha… Ha… mmmmm… I… ah… ah… ooooooh mmmmm…. Tommy… Pleeeeaaase! I’m so close…. Ha… ha… yes… aaaaah! I’m… I’m… cu...mmmmmm… cumming! TOOOOM!! (Heavy breaths) Sorry… I shouldn’t have done that. (heavy breaths) I… I’m hungry.”

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Silence. Toms jaw hung open and he stared blankly ahead at what he had just heard. You had been touching yourself. To pictures of him. You had called out his name as you reached your high. He felt his boxers tighten a little. And, he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about you when he was with her. But, he would never admit that he hadn’t deleted his photos of you either. He hadn’t looked at them once since that day. But, he still had them. Just in case. In case what? He had no idea. Tom blinked and looked back down to his phone. One left. He took a deep breath. And pressed the final message.

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Y/n Saturday 3/30/2019

4:22 am

“Oooow shit … Tom…uh hey it’s me again. You probably won’t even listen to this. Not after the others… which to be honest, I don’t even completely remember what I’ve said to you. But… I just hurt myself… no not on purpose. I’m still pretty wasted… and I shouldn’t have tried to make spaghetti… but I’m just so hungry…. I dropped the… the pot on my foot. The boiling water… ooooow… splashed on my leg… FUCK!! It burns! Hahaha! But… not as much as… as these never ending thoughts… thoughts of you and that… that day…………………..(Silence)............................ (glass shatters)... FUCK!... (Glass shatters)... AAAAAAAH!!! (Heavy shaky breaths) Tom…. (sniffle) I can’t do this…. (sob) I can’t function…. I can’t… (sniffle)... these two weeks… have been… (sniffle) the absolute worst! (Sob)... I’ve been bouncing… bouncing through every emotion… (sniffle) I seem to have settled… into sad… (sob) and broken… like… (sniffle) these bottles… these empty bottles… I just… (sniffle) threw on the floor. I should…(sniffle) clean them… up, but… but I’m too drunk to care… (sob)... I deserve this. I know that. (Sniffle) I ended us… (sob) that night, I know that. I… (sniffle) wish… wish I could undo it! Undo it all! (Sob)... I wish I could get undrunk that night… (sniffle)... so I could un-lose my temper…. Haha.. I don’t even… (sniffle) remember what we fought about. (Sob)... I wish I could… (sniffle)... wish I could un-kiss that room full of strangers. (Sob)... I did that just to hurt you… and I’m so… (sob)... sooo fucking sorry! Fuck! (Sob) Haha… I wish could be undrunk right now… (sniffle) so I could un-call you! And I wish… wish that night… no… our first night... (sob)... that I could un-fuck you… then this… (sob) never would’ve happened, because… we never… (sob)... never would have been… (sniffle)... i wish… I wish (sniffle)... I could… I could un-love you… (deep breath)... but some things just can’t be undone… (sigh).. and one of those… (yawn) things is… you. (Silence)...... (light snoring)”

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Tom felt the tears falling down his face. But, he didn’t care. You had just ripped his heart out. These messages were the first time you had made direct contact since that night two weeks ago. You had never tried to apologize. Not until now. He felt his insides twist, and all he wanted to do was go to your place. He wanted to see you. To scream at you. Tell you how bad you had hurt him. How you tore him apart that night. He wanted to hold you. Let you cry into his chest until you had nothing left. He wanted to forgive you. He wanted to carry you to bed and make sure you were okay. This whole time he thought he was the only one who was in pain. But, you were too. Tom felt his chest tighten. The need to run back to you was overwhelming.

“Tom?” Her voice from the hallway broke his spiraling train of thought. His head shot up and his eyes found hers. Soft and gentle. And he felt a rush of calm through his body. That’s why he was with her now. She grounded him. Kept him level. “Are you okay?” She asked and Tom’s eyes dropped back down to his phone.

“Uh… yeah… “ he lied as he stared at the voicemails. “Well…” he rubbed his cheeks with the back of his free hand to rid himself of his tears. “I will be.” He hit delete all, and dropped his phone on the couch. He stood up and crossed the room. He wrapped his arms around her and she was quick to return the gesture. “Let’s go back to bed.”

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