#which I was very happy about.
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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“When I run over the frightful catalogue of my sins, I cannot believe that I am the same creature whose thoughts were once filled with sublime and transcendent visions of the beauty and the majesty of goodness. But it is even so; the fallen angel becomes a malignant devil. Yet even that enemy of God and man had friends and associates in his desolation; I am alone.”
#frankenstein#victor frankenstein#gothic literature#gothic art#gothic lit#mary shelley#lucifer#the fallen angel#we all saw this one coming#I’m very happy w how this turned out#and yes I used colour for once and not just in the creature eyes go me#I thought about doing just the cropped version of this painting but I can’t ever make anything easy for myself#I’m glad people seem to be enjoying this series#which I guess has morphed in to Frankenstein But in Classical Art#based on the fallen angel by Alexandre Cabanel#anyway it’s Friday!! I’m gonna watch a movie and have some good food :)))#my art
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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HBEBEBEBEBEB UR WILLIAM DESIGN IS SO SILLYYYYY THAT SKRUNKLY OLD MAN IS GETTING THE CHAIR <3333
The worst man ever 💜
#ask reply#again I’m always glad when yall like my designs#WILLIAM is so fun to draw too#you guys have left a lot of nice comments and asks about his look!! which I appreciate!!#I always do try my best to make these characters semi accurate#but also visually distinct from one another#so im happy its working out#SO YEAH TY 💜💜💜#I gotta draw William more#promise I will in some serious comics#I do find him to be a very interesting character#it would be fun to explore all of that#let me cook let me cook 🔥🔥
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Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature
#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#svsss#sqq#lbh#my art#which is honestly just to say that i've finished the other two print books i was reading#and am now prepared to leap feet first into svsss bk4#i succeeded in holding off for an entire two weeks. i have the conviction of a wet paper towel.#lets see bk4 was described as - what? - an ''angst and smut pile''??#i am very much looking forward to this#i was promised a story with my snake boy#because i am very much not over zhuzhi-lang's fate so this had better be A REALLY NICE HAPPY ONE FOLKS#anyway have sqq and lbh cuddling and reading as i project on them#i like to assume that as time goes on sqq is able to relax his persona a bit more around lbh#i think he should get to cuddle and bitch about shitty novels#but man sqh is really the ONLY source of any books that have an even slightly modern cadence/style i have a feeling sqq would be very keen#though if i'm being honest i really wonder if sqh could ever bring himself to write fiction again#if you're A Writer it tends to be hard to RESIST you just get an itch to tell a story#but also like... the fear that all of this could happen again... or that the characters you're creating might be REAL and SUFFERING...#yeah... i honestly suspect he can't write anymore and that it honestly probably sucks a lot... but for the sake of this joke he is :P
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Day 3 - cloak thankfully Obi-Wan's robe cloak is big enough to wrap around a certain Commander who might've been tossed into the freezing river during a mission oh and when there's a chance to make something even more Codywan? ofc I'll do it, here's a bonus
it was a long mission, okay
#codywan#CODYWAN#ofc codywan#star wars#starwarstober23#obi wan kenobi#commander cody#any chance to have Cody wrapped up in Obi-Wan's oversized robe is taken in this blog#it warm and soft and big okay#very comfy#also Cody is so done#stupid missions with stupid rivers#Cody is soaked and he's not happy about it#Obi-Wan thinks he's kinda cute all drenched like that especially since he's grumpy about it#but also doesn't want him to catch a cold so ofc he'll give Cody his cloak robe thing#which makes Cody even CUTER in his opinion#idiots in love#btw did I mention CODYWAN#my arts
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Congratulations to Dungeon Meshi on the first episode of the animation adaptation!
(June 2024 Redraw)
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#marcille donato#senshi#chilchuck tims#I have been getting into a lot of dungeon related media recently and what better way to celebrate this by cheering on Dungeon Meshi#Which is about to start airing it's first season!#I have a few friends who are deep in the Dungeon Meshi caverns and I am so excited to surprise them with this art#The group chats are already blowing up with people drawing and now I can join in! Yippee!#My favourite character wont appear in this season but that is okay. I am so fond of them all B*)#It really is a very special and dear story that I am happy to see get more love and exposure.#Not sure what the overlap is for mdzs and dungeon meshi but I must do my dues to spread the word.#I'll work on figuring out how to draw these silly adventurers better and return with more art at the end of the season.
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cw: babies!!!! you’re also referred to as “ma” once
okay but like,,,,,first time dad Bakugou giving his baby their first bath after coming home!!! you’re fluttering around the kitchen, trying to make sure you have your daughters towel ready, her baby safe soap, a tiny washcloth, that her teeny tiny pajamas are in the dryer.
it’s only when you take a second to ask Bakugou something do you finally just—pause. your gaze instantly softens, a lovesick smile inching on your face as you watch your big buff pro hero husband hunch over the kitchen sink.
your daughter is resting in the baby bath seat, lilac colored and reclined back. she squirms when Bakugou lets the warm water run over her naked, fat little belly. her face scrunches at the new sensation, fists balling up against her chest. he coos at her, gentle,
“I know, ya little princess. Feels weird on ya, doesn’t it?” he asks her, voice so small under the running water. he cups his hand, holds a handful of water, tilts her fat cheek up to let it slide in her neck rolls that always smell like milk. she whines at that, sniffles and hiccups before she cries. you go to take a step forward, to console her, but Bakugou is so patient.
“It’s alright,” he kisses her tears away. “Daddy’s just tryna help you.” he runs the water all over her body, and paired with his softly spoken words, does she finally quiet after a few seconds. her little body trembles with the aftermath, pouty lips puffy and he can’t help but smooth his hand over the softness of her face.
“Yer a crybaby, just like your ma.” he whispers to her, grinning when that breaks you out of your stupor to smack him on the shoulder. you both laugh at that, and you finally feel the peace that is your little family. you lean against Bakugou’s shoulder, pressing a kiss to his jaw before looking at your daughter again.
“You’re gonna be a great dad,” you mumble into his skin. he doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his shuddering breath, and the calmness that blankets the rest of your house.
#ugly crying on the r floor#I thought about this earlier and forgot and then remembered again#and I was soooo happy bc I love this thought#first time baby baths were a nightmare with my niece LOL#she was colicky and hated everything so what was supposed to be a cute n sweet moment#was just her screaming to the tops of her lungs lol#but I believe bkg has a very well tempered first child which makes him want more#then the second one is HIM all over again and he’s like. thanks I’m good no more for me pls AKSJDKD#okay bye I’m gonna catch up on the dash 🏃🏽♂️#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬#dad bkg
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"And there's nothing you can do!" ⛧ Ghost - Rats for WORLD RAT DAY 04/04/2024
#this is so silly. happy rat day#the band ghost#user copia all tag#cardinal copia#DISCLAIMER: on the very (VERY) rare chance somebody recognises this format#from a gif post in another fandom about 3 years ago#i'm not copying anyone. that was also me#i really doubt there's any overlap of fan circles here but that old post has done some numbers so if you think you've already seen this#dw. same person#maybe i should have made an entirely new format but who has the time#also i've had the lyrics in my head as 'belief IS contagious' but apparently it's beliefs plural? not sure which one is correct#user copia edits
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okay but literally what if buck and tommy end up together? like what if we get to see them moving in together or saying i love you for the first time or getting engaged or getting married? what if we get to see buck having a husband? literally what then...
#can i be honest the likleihood of bucktommy lasting to me is hard to figure out for me. i think some people saying bucktommy bonessssss#or whatever are saying it for the wrong reasons but there is truth to the idea that there is a very strong possibility that it doesnt last#longer than a season#not cause of buddie. just cause bad writing. this isnt a show where characters can really move forward a lot so#with bucks love interests especially they dont stick around and i am afraid we're gonna keep buck in that revolving door of love interests#with no end point. which is why i feel like some of those ppl should stfu about “god i hope they break up 😡” cause like.#are you sure? do you want that? no no not for you ship i mean like for this character completely independent of that ship. do you want that?#does that better his character in any way? does that further any development INDEPENDENTLY of the ship you want to happen?#okay rant over but like !!!!! what if it happens?? what if we get to see buck be happy and flourish in a relationship???#what then#bucktommy#firefly tag
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realised yesterday just how often hozier actually used to sing about being not quite alive, not feeling like a person, about loving someone in a way that defies death and made him more alive, about suffering death for love. it's like he was constantly being buried underground and unearthed by love, over and over, which, while romantic in a way, is also incredibly sad. but i think it's interesting how his latest album (literally called 'unreal unearth') takes this idea and makes it its central theme. that's what this album is, one man's descent into the underworld. except, crucially, he makes it to the other side, and ends the album saying the darkness will come again, but this time he is "never going back [to hell] again." it feels like such a full-circle moment considering the rest of his discography and i'm so very excited to see what comes after this
#idk he might go back to being buried and unalive but maybe this is really the end of that...#when he was singing his most popular non album songs during the concert yesterday i was like huh he really does#sing about death a lot. interesting#hozier#it was great btw! he sang abstract and francesca AND jackie and wilson and cherry wine and movement#so all my favourites basically#and hearing take me to church live was actually such a slay which i was not expecting#and he talked abt gaza which i was so happy abt and was very grateful towards his band and crew#just a great night all around#jasmine has thoughts#i knew it was a lot bc that's kind of his reputation (boo) but i didnt realise how much it actually is
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no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)
#detective conan#case closed#amv#my amvs#eye strain#heiji hattori#harley hartwell#conan edogawa#shinichi kudo#funimation english dub script#video#happy two-year anniversary to 'no thoughts just heiji hattori'!#while it's not my first amv (it's maybe my... fifth?)#it was the first one i made with davinci resolve and the amv that really got me into editing amvs for real#it's the amv that made me believe i could make amvs 🥺#and in remastering it i deeply understood how ambitious it was! i thought i did a lot of audio mixing for 'messed up'#but that's not even close to all the audio mixing i did here--cannot believe that i did all this for my first big amv project#it took about 20 hours *just* to remaster!#which is something i've been meaning to do for a while now so i'm very happy to finally share the results!#to make this a 'remaster' and not a 'redo' the only changes i tried to make were to the source footage and audio#video now uses almost entirely hd remastered footage from my blu-rays or netflix rather than my dvds#but oh gosh was it *hard* not to touch anything else! i'd do so many things differently now#but this video will always be really special to me (and i can't believe i did it at all tbh!)#i hope seeing it in hd is fun too! i'm so blown away by all the love this vid's gotten#and that it helped increase interest in funi's old english dub is amazing and 100% what i was trying to do with it!#thank you everyone for all the support <333 i wouldn't be the video editor i am today without this vid or your encouragement for it <3333#like the original the sources used are mostly from what funi dubbed (but mixed in hd by me!): eps 48-49 57-58 77-78 117 and 118 and movie 3#but i also used episodes 141-142 174 189 239 263 277 291 293 345 479 491 517 and 522#and ova 3 and tv special 6 (episode one) and movies 10 and 13 and ops 27 31 and 33 and the funi 5.2 dvd blooper for the one line lol#the song is 'you're stupid aren't you' by toshio masuda (from jubei-chan 2)
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gray evening in the canal boat
prompt: winter
#spider man: across the spider verse#spider punk#spider noir#hobie brown#noirpunk#noirpunkweek#yes hobie’s back is fuckin floating cos my back doesn’t curve right when im lying down and i extrapolated#all my faves get back problems#not super happy with the shading but i like the background#the poetry is snow by louis macniece in hobie’s hair & on his neck#winter by sudeep sen on his body#and winter by timothy liu on the wall#which is actually a slow breakup poem BUT the first part is actually very sweet and about like soft comfortable old love#and thats what they have <33
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Halo
#mmm ok lemme just start w the tags then ill ramble#welt yang#hsr#honkai star rail#hi3#honkai impact 3rd#my art#ok anyways. i didnt have too many thoughts when i started it beyond “uni is killing me but i NEED to do my daily drawings”#some thoughts did go through my mind while drawing which determined the direction this went in#which is that this could be a badass heroic drawing but.. it isn't. this doesn't feel very happy does it?#it makes him look a bit lonely#but something about the pose and the red is ominous. like he's unreadable but theres something sad about it#the moon in the background has a bit of a double meaning - namely the actual moon and its purpose in hi3#as the final destination of the honkai and the story but.. him as well#and as a halo. i love that the three major organizations in hi3 are basically religious groups#and AE basically worships joyce and his legacy (!) and welt tries to fill that. i mean the title sovereign alone means like. absolute ruler#an untouchable figure in terms of power and control over their people#so i really like to give him some sort of fucked up fake halo. he can imitate a saintly figure but it dehumanizes him in turn#he even talks about humanity like he's not a part of it#what's left is some kind of creature mimicking divinity but becoming isolated and inhuman in the process#(gesturing wildly) THINK ABOUT THE COSMIC HORROR POTENTIAL OF BEING A HERRSCHER. HE LITERALLY PERCEIVES REALITY DIFFERENTLY. CMON.
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[spite] has entered the chat >:P
#my arts#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#dav#datv#da4#dragon age 4#veilguard#the veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#cole dragon age#manfred dragon age#dragon age cole#dragon age manfred#cole the spirit of compassion#manfred the skeleton#dragon age veilguard spoilers#<- i guess ?????#also does spite have his own tag...? idk sorry but#heard there was another spirit in the area *twirls hair and kicks feet* I LOVE YOU SPIRITS I LOVE U ABOMINATIONS I LOVE Y#this originally started as a nod to the banter about manfred being “mesmerized by the steam” while making tea#but then i made it about spite as well :] now there are THREE spirit friends (well... probs more like frenemies but yknow) :P#btw i changed coles outfit/design bc i saw the veilguard concept art of him (UGHHH MY BOY HE LOOKED SO GOOD IM DEVASTATED oTL)#also i hc that cole is very picky w food bc he seemed grossed out abt it when talking to blackwall lol#so even tho hes “used” to eating now he has a hard time w weird new things (in this case tea). autistic food aversion :]#which is extra funny in this case bc manfred (and spite) would be like “whats it like” while cole is like “...bad :(”#anyway yeah hope u guys like this one :D im very happy ppl seem to like this series(?) bc i really like drawing them !!! <3
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