#whether he accomplished his loss in a healthy way is anyones guess

[crenandos]

The nikocado shit has me feeling real weird like

Is it actually a gotcha moment? He was still a joke of the internet if it was satire or not. And if it was purposeful he strained his body with the weight and weight loss for a gag?

Not to say you can truly tell someone's health from looking at them but now he also doesn't look in the best of shape either. He just doesn't seem all there.

It's great he had a log of videos to keep his transformation away from the public eye but I just don't see it as this big successful prank everyone is making it out to be.

[tenebrius-excellium]

I need to reblog this because SAME I'm currently at Season 6 again and Neal is so fascinatingly complex I'm screaming. I love how the interpretation of his character is left to a few casual gold nuggets in dialogue such as the discussion about why he doesn't have original art, about how stealing is an addiction etc.

These bits of dialogue hit hard because they flow so casually and so rarely between the rest of the plot. If we really, truly want to know who Neal Caffrey is, we need to continuously stare at his subtle facial expressions, then take a guess and hope for the best. And I love that so much about him.

When it comes down to rock bottom, I believe taking something that doesn't belong to him is a vice that he allows himself to have because he knows that if anything ever ends up going largely wrong, he is just as able to put the thing back as he was to obtain it.

When taking a look at what Neal steals, it's deeply morally inspired, not in a Robin Hood fashion but more in a way that appreciates class and beauty, skill and muse. Neal abhors violence, and while the things he steals do cause financial harm to the owners, he often justifies his thefts by the honest conviction that a treasure must be "seen" for its artistic and historical value, and that he is able to hold the stolen item in higher regard than its previous possessor. I also believe he thinks that those people or institutions usually deal in such gigantuous sums of money anyway that they can survive the loss.

Neal also has FUN at conning, it's a game to him and all in good spirit, it's a competition between fellow forgers and him and the law enforcement. He's playing hide and seek, cops and robbers like a child. He deals in objects, never lives, and he feels extreme guilt and tries to make it right every time he realizes that he's ruined someone.

It's also clearly attention-seeking from a system that failed him. He grew up in the gray, so he doesn't feel like there's anything wrong with it. I think his philosophy goes something like "I was harmed as a kid, I didn't harm anyone in return, so I'm generally a good person and deserve to take these pretty antiquities for myself. No harm done." Notice again how it doesn't affect relationships, only things. It's an echo of how poor his ability to form meaningful attachments really is, if objects are more important for him to pride himself in than the people close to him. Neal yearns to be seen for his intellect and Peter is one of the few people who can keep up with him and occupy him in a healthy way. Neal is the son to Peter's fatherly manner and he glows with the praise he receives for his accomplishments.

He wants to be loved for who he is, despite his flaws; he wants to be given a permanent name, a home; and that's why it hurts all the more when Peter cannot let something go because it's actually highly illegal. It's never the legal trespass that bothers Neal, it's the disappointment from his mentor. Neal is constantly testing the waters of whether he will still also be loved as a convict who will experience setbacks in the process of bettering himself before he commits to change. As are we all.

Only problem is, once in conflict with the law, there are no slip-ups allowed. And that's what breaks him after all. I wish he'd have been given the benefit of the doubt in the end. <3

Wish humanity were better at giving fresh chances, each day anew.

Hope he married Sara after all.

watching white collar again and feeling :// annoyed at the lack of depth (I know I know that's where our lovely fanfic authors give us so much) but like. neal is such a fascinating character! and there's so much of his characterization that's so !!!! like, you've got this compulsive thief and liar who has no impulse control. if something valuable and beautiful is in front of him and he thinks he can get away with it, he's gonna steal it. and he's proud of it. he knows he's smart, he knows he's skilled, he's sure of himself and honestly very arrogant.

but.

being doubted.

being blamed for something, anything (especially something he didn't do) – it devastates him so much.

every time Peter asks him if he's responsible for something, if he stole it, or forged it, neal can't stand it. he's like, how can you doubt me? I didn't do it, please believe me. haven't I proven myself to you? why don't you trust me?

it's such this weird dichotomy of, he's so proud of what he does, he knows he's the best at it and that thrills him. but at the same time, he wants to be good. he wants to be trusted and believed and he wants other people (peter) to be proud of him.

and those things can't coexist. and it's devastating. and so so good.

and I wish the show would have delved deeper into this aspect of him

[always-mimits]

Life (Idk how to title this)

My first real post is gonna be heavy. Just a warning. I'm finally going to write this post. I needed to wrap my head around it and distance myself from it slightly. Things like this honestly hit me harder than I like to admit, it’s hard for me to know someone I had so much love and respect for is gone. It’s even worse when it’s through cancer like Alan Rickman or suicide like so many, now including Chester Bennington. I’ve always had a love for Linkin Park, it honestly helped me through a lot of personal demons. So it’s even harder for me since his music helped me not do exactly what he ended up doing. This has got to open a much needed dialogue of mental health and the reality of depression. I know it’s not easy to try to truly understand something as complicated as depression when you have never experienced it, but it’s necessary for progress. You don’t have to understand every little thing about it, but what you must do is open your eyes to the truth that it isn’t something that can be fixed by smiling, putting up a front. The only thing that does is make it harder for people to hear your screams for help, they think you only want attention, when what you really want is someone to try to help you, have someone reach out to you. You might never understand the power of a simple interaction of care, but as someone that has depression, I know how beneficial it can be to have someone simply smile at you or compliment you. No that won’t cure of us of this illness, but it might help us hold on long enough to finally begin to heal and turn our life around. Depression isn’t fake, despite what people might think, if you haven’t learned that by now looking at all the beautiful people that have ended their lives thanks to this monster that is constantly belittling us, beating us down, I really don’t know how to get you to understand. Everyone keeps saying I had no idea, none of us were expecting it, but actually go back through their music and it’s not like he’s hiding his serious struggle within himself. No one likes to acknowledge the problem/truth until it’s too late. And that just worsens the pain for people like me, the ones that know the truth and try to get others to understand it. Depression is a real thing, it terrible and hard to handle, but with help we can all begin to heal and keep going forwards even while the beast that is depression is trying to pull us back and down. People tend to only see what they want to, so they will look past obvious struggles of others around them. I get it, I do, I’m not trying to offend anyone, or make it seem like it’s your fault, it isn’t but you could save a life, I just want you to realize that. It’s really important to try to see things from others point of views, that way you can understand more and just maybe try to help them. I know how easy it is to just walk by and ignore the person that is struggling, but what is easy isn’t always right. I want to impress upon you all the importance of doing the right thing in this situation, you could help someone hang on long enough to actually keep going. I’m not pretending to know everything or make it seem like a saint, I just want to make people see. I definitely have tried everything to help as many people as possible though. I’m the type of person that will bring all the struggling people together and try to help them build themselves up again. I grew up around it and I think that is part of the reason that I’m more than willing to bend over backwards to help others living with this and other really difficult illnesses. My brother and I both have had depression since we were young, so I’ve spent a lot of my time trying to help him keep his head above the water, though I’ve almost lost him at least twice that I know of. He’s my big brother, I can’t lose him, so seeing it in him helps me help myself and many others. I will never give up on someone, no matter the situation, I’ll try everything in my power to help in any way that I possibly can. Yes I do thing like this to help others, but it also helps me with my own depression, we all have different way of dealing with our depression, they’re not always healthy, but they’re our way of pushing forwards against the odds. I’m not condoning nor am I judging the way other people deal with their depression, I have no right to judge considering I use to cut myself and the only reason I can say I use to is that I haven’t done it in over a month. Thing are difficult there is no sugar coating it. This shit is hard and it takes a lot of work to keep going, but I promise the effort will be worth it. Things will suck, but things will also be amazing beyond belief, so you just have to find a way to keep going. There are a million ways to deal with it, you can be like me and help others, you can be like others and turn it into some form of art, you can find something that drives you, you can lean on people, or something else that might help you. I definitely don’t claim to have all the answers, no one ever does. But I promise that I’ll be by anyone’s side when they need me, no matter what it takes. I know the pain of going against this monster alone, I don’t want anyone to feel that way. You’re not alone, you are never alone, someone out there is supporting you, whether you know it or not. Any of you reading this need someone to talk to I will be there in a heartbeat. Another thing I want to say is there is either a stigma about actually taking medication to help or deciding it’s best for you not to take the medication. If you are one of the ones that feel like you need to take the medication, good for you, you do what’s best for you. Never let anyone tell you that it’s not okay to be taking care of yourself, you might only need it for a short period of time or you might need it for years to come, but either way that’s okay it’s your journey to recovery and no one can tell you how to take it. And alternatively if you feel like it’s better for you not to take medication, then that’s okay too. Some people don’t do better on the medication, other things might help them, like certain vitamins or exercise or other activities that may help you move forwards. Like I said before this is YOUR journey, you decide what’s best for you in the long run, you can listen to people’s advice, but in the end you're the one with the final say. As long as you’re trying to get better, you do you. Take care of yourself the way that works best for you, you might have to try a whole bunch of things until you find what works, but it’s worth the effort. Taking a step in the right direction is the first milestone on your trek to overcoming this beast that’s trying to drag you down. Don’t let it, it won’t be easy, but it’ll be more than worth it. There are people that care and want you to get better, and honestly I do care 100% I’m that person that really cares about anyone, unless they do something I can’t look past (which honestly isn’t much). Truthfully you need someone I’m always willing to talk. The door is always open I guess you can say. And to show you that it isn’t only my brother that I constantly try to help so you believe me when I say you can reach out to me. My bestfriend that I had all through middles school and half of high school until he left and cut ties, was severely depressed and many times came to me to talk him out of taking his life, I did it every time without fail, no matter what he did or how many fights we got into, truly I was always there for him and he knew it. Not once did I hesitate to care for him, even when we dated and he cheated on me with a close friend, nothing change the simple fact I would do anything to help him. Along with him and other friends I’ve had like him, my boyfriend is depressed, extremely so, I do worry for him. But I believe that together we can find a way for him to survive this last year that he has to spend in the place that makes him the most unhappy. After that we’ll find a way to keep the progress going. I knew getting into this relationship that he had depression, did I know how bad it was? No I did not, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m more in love with him than I thought possible. He is an amazing beautiful human being, being depressed doesn’t change that fact. It just adds more layers to the man I love. Never think that being depressed ruins you or your appeal, you are all beautiful human beings and you are worth the world and so much more. I know that’s hard to believe but it’s the truth. You are all incredible and I believe in you. You will find a way to get through this. You will overcome this. You will find a way to be happy. The depression might never fully leave you, but you definitely lessen its hold on you. There has already been so much loss and death, we don’t need anymore. Please reach out to someone, even if it’s me when you feel like ending it. I promise you it’s not worth it to end it all. There is still so much for you to accomplish and see. Don’t give up. Never give up, never surrender. You are beautiful incredible and needed. Keep that in mind please. People love you people care for you and people want you to survive this monster. Even if you don’t think that people do, they do, hell I do. I’m telling you the truth I’m more than willing to lend an ear or a shoulder to anyone that needs it. Please take me up on that if you need someone. I care about each and every one of you. I guess I should end this here, but just know I’m always here and I care about all of you.

[writingsubmissions]

Fights to Make: UFC 211

Stipe Miocic (beat Junior dos Santos) vs. Cain Velasquez: It’s weird to think of Miocic as an all-time great heavyweight, but he’s surprisingly close to that level of accomplishment - his knockout win over dos Santos makes four straight first round knockouts, and one more title defense will give him the all-time consecutive record at heavyweight at three. Admittedly, it’s a historically unstable division, but still, history is history. Anyway, the obvious top contender for Miocic would be Velasquez, the consensus top heavyweight of this era, if Velasquez is ever healthy - past that, I guess go with Derrick Lewis if he beats Mark Hunt? Or Francis Ngannou? Options are thin.

Joanna Jedrzejczyk (beat Jessica Andrade) vs. Rose Namajunas: Unlike Miocic, Jedrzejczyk’s greatness just stares you in the face, and this might have been her most masterful performance yet - faced with her most difficult style matchup to date, Jedrzejczyk tweaked her striking style and executed it perfectly, forcing Andrade to chase her and pitching a shutout on the scorecards. There’s really no challengers left for Jedrzejczyk, who’s approaching Demetrious Johnson levels of dominance within her division, but Namajunas is the obvious next contender up as far as people Joanna Champion hasn’t beaten yet - though I don’t see that fight going particularly well for her.

Demian Maia (beat Jorge Masvidal) vs. Tyron Woodley: This was Maia’s toughest test yet, but once again the Brazilian’s jiu-jitsu ruled over all, controlling Masvidal for most of the fight and winning a narrow decision that could’ve gone either way, depending on whether you value control or damage. Maia’s now the unquestioned next challenger for Woodley’s welterweight strap, and I’m happy he’s earned it - even though I fear Woodley’s tendency to play things defensively could make it an ugly, ugly contest.

Frankie Edgar (beat Yair Rodriguez) vs. Jose Aldo/Max Holloway (Jun. 3) winner: I thought Edgar was too much, too soon for uber-prospect Rodriguez, but Rodriguez didn’t even acquit himself well, as Edgar just basically took him down and beat the piss out of him until his eye swelled so badly that the fight had to be stopped. Edgar’s the obvious number two or number three guy in the division behind Aldo and Holloway, who square off in the main event of UFC 212 - if Holloway wins the title, Edgar’s the obvious next contender, and even if Aldo retains, Edgar might still be the next contender, even though Aldo beat Edgar pretty one-sidedly just last year; the only guys in the top fifteen coming off a win that Aldo hasn’t beaten are Brian Ortega, Renato Moicano, and Darren Elkins.

Junior dos Santos (lost to Stipe Miocic) vs. Andrei Arlovski/Marcin Tybura (Jun. 17) winner: Well, that was a mixed bag for dos Santos - his strategy focused around leg kicks worked wonders early, but that only seemingly forced Miocic to take things into high gear, and he rushed and finished dos Santos after just two and a half minutes. There’s not an obvious next fight for JDS - everything seems to be either a rehashed fight or would serve for the former champ to knock off a potential contender, of which there are precious few at heavyweight - so let’s go with the winner of fading vet Arlovski and Polish prospect Tybura in Singapore in a few weeks. Dos Santos probably blows through either guy, but hey, at least it’s a keep-busy fight that doesn’t damage options in the division too much.

Jorge Masvidal (lost to Demian Maia) vs. Rafael dos Anjos/Tarec Saffiedine (Jun. 17) winner: This was yet another frustrating affair for Masvidal - his individual skills remain excellent, and he did quite well defending himself against Maia here, but as always, he seemingly made just enough mistakes to lose a narrow decision. But he at least proved he finally belongs among the divisional elite, and he’s a fresh matchup for a lot of top contenders, so I’d keep him strong. Rafael dos Anjos debuts at welterweight in Singapore next month, and if the former lightweight champ looks good against Tarec Saffiedine, I like Masvidal as a next test to either see if RDA can become a contender in his new weight class, or for Masvidal to get a big name win. And, hell, if Saffiedine scores the upset, he’s earned a shot at someone like Masvidal.

Eddie Alvarez (no contest against Dustin Poirier) vs. Dustin Poirier (no contest against Eddie Alvarez): Alvarez probably should’ve lost this fight by DQ, as inconsistent rules among states have made the whole “downed opponent” scenario a complete mess, but hey, a no contest means we have an excuse for these guys to face each other again. This was fight was awesome - run it back!

Jessica Andrade (lost to Joanna Jedrzejczyk) vs. Carla Esparza/Maryna Moroz (Jun. 25) winner: Andrade got outclassed by the champion, but there’s still a lot to like - she’s young, and she’s still a relative newcomer in the division, so there’s still a bunch of interesting fights on the horizon for her. I like her against Esparza or Moroz, depending on who wins in Oklahoma City next month - Esparza as a former champ who can test if Andrade is in fact among the divisional elite, or Moroz for a matchup between physical talents that was initially supposed to take place in December.

Yair Rodriguez (lost to Frankie Edgar) vs. Chas Skelly (lost to Jason Knight): Well, Rodriguez got smashed by Edgar, and that didn’t really accomplish anything - while UFC’s top Mexican prospect will be fine in the long run, there wasn’t anything here that anyone in Rodriguez’s camp could really take as a positive sign. So it’s probably back to beating fringe top-fifteen guys for the time being, as “El Pantera” can work out the kinks in his game. This is probably doing Skelly a bit dirty - I like his wrestling as a test for Rodriguez, but Rodriguez’s physical tools probably mean this fight would look a lot like Skelly’s loss to Knight, where Skelly can’t control his opponent and then subsequently gets wrecked. But ideally, I’d want someone who’s like Darren Elkins, but a bit worse so I’m confident Rodriguez can actually beat them, and Skelly’s the closest thing to that bill.

David Branch (beat Krzysztof Jotko) vs. Derek Brunson/Daniel Kelly (Jun. 10) winner: The good news is that Branch got a huge win in his UFC return, as the former two-division WSOF champ beat a top-ten middleweight. The bad news is that the fight was pretty bad - I didn’t hate it as much as everyone else seemed to, but I also figured it would be a way more boring fight going in, and was relieved that it was just, well, bad. So it’s probably another fringy top ten guy for Branch - let’s go with the winner of the Brunson/Kelly fight in Auckland next month; it’d be interesting to see how Branch handles someone who can go all-out berserker in Brunson, or if Kelly manages to win, it’d be another step up for the Australian in one of UFC’s unlikeliest success stories.

Jason Knight (beat Chas Skelly) vs. Brian Ortega: Knight is getting really good, really quickly - he had a bit of early trouble with Skelly’s wrestling, but really got to show off his excellent grappling game here, preventing a hard-nosed wrestler from controlling him while showing off the volume striking game he’s quickly becoming known for. Brian Ortega’s apparently recovering from a massive injury, but if he’s healthy anytime soon, that’d be an excellent scrap, particularly if we got some insane grappling exchanges out of the deal. And if Ortega’s still hurt, then if Cub Swanson’s free during the next cycle of featherweight fights...just saying.

Cortney Casey (beat Jessica Aguilar) vs. Paige VanZant: I don’t think Casey will ever get to championship contender status, but her game is evolving nicely - here she showed some impressive work from her back en route to physically outclassing Aguilar, who’s looking like the division has sort of passed her by. I have no idea how to peg VanZant - she’s a physically talented prospect who isn’t anywhere as overrated as people like to pretend she is, but the way she lost to Michelle Waterson so easily is still extremely worrying - but Casey’d make for a fun next test to see exactly where VanZant stands.

James Vick (beat Polo Reyes) vs. Joe Lauzon: It looked for a second UFC might book James Vick normally after he beat Abel Trujillo, but here we was once again, outclassing a prospect to achieve pretty much nothing. He’s asked for some promotion and a ranked opponent, and while he’s not a top fifteen guy anymore, Joe Lauzon’s still one of the most reliably entertaining names in the promotion, so a fight with Vick would be super-fun and give the Texan some shine.

Krzysztof Jotko (lost to David Branch) vs. Elias Theodorou/Brad Tavares (Jul. 7) winner: Jotko’s fights are pretty much always ugly, and this time around he didn’t do enough to make things worth it. Blah. Anyway, Jotko’s still a top ten or so guy in the division, so he’d make a nice opponent for either Theodorou or Tavares, who square off on the upcoming TUF finale. Jotko/Theodorou would be a nice way for Theodorou, who’s a charismatic and marketable guy, to hopefully finally crack the rankings, while Jotko/Tavares would just serve as a way to keep two talented middleweights who really aren’t all that interesting busy.

Gadzhimurad Antigulov (beat Joachim Christensen) vs. Ion Cutelaba/Henrique da Silva (Jun. 10) winner: Antigulov pretty much ran through Christensen and might be the most underrated guy on the roster - he’s small for the division, and his game is fairly simple, just looking to take down and then overpower his opponents, but that alone can probably get him into the top fifteen in a thin division. You could rush him against a guy in the fringe of the rankings right away, and that’d be fun, but I’d rather go with the winner of the Cutelaba/da Silva fight in Auckland next month. Honestly, you could probably go with anyone at the level of, say, Gian Villante or worse.

Enrique Barzola (beat Gabriel Benitez) vs. Hacran Dias: This was a pretty great win for Barzola, as the Peruvian beat a pretty solid mid-level gatekeeper in Benitez and has pretty much already out-achieved all of his TUF: Latin America 2 castmates. Throwing him against Brazilian grinder and sometimes prospect-killer Dias is probably too much, too soon, but it’s a chance at a solid win and damned if I know what else to do with Dias.

Jessica Aguilar (lost to Cortney Casey) vs. Viviane Pereira/Jamie Moyle (Jun. 3) loser: Aguilar lost fairly handily here, and the former top strawweight in the world seems to be looking at a division that’s passed her by. Pereira and Moyle square off in a fun undercard bout at UFC 212, and if nothing else, Aguilar shouldn’t be at a sizable athleticism disadvantage against the loser, which is about as much as you can ask for to see where Aguilar’s at at this point.

Chase Sherman (beat Rashad Coulter) vs. Mark Godbeer/Justin Willis (Jul. 16) winner: It was good for Sherman to get a win to stick in the UFC, and the young Mississippian got some notoriety for being in such a crazy brawl to boot, but there’s still a ton of work to be done, as Sherman gassed badly and let a one-legged Coulter back into their fight. So as tantalizing as the ceiling is for Sherman, I’d just keep putting him against fellow lower-level heavyweights - either Godbeer or Willis, who square off on the Scotland card in July, would be a fine next fight.

Polo Reyes (lost to James Vick) vs. Felipe Silva: Reyes was probably destined to top out as a lower-level action lightweight, but UFC throwing him to James Vick sort of hurried that process up. Felipe Silva, who starched Shane Campbell in his UFC debut this past August, is a bit of an unknown, but would probably make for a fun undercard fight, and hell, that’s what Polo Reyes is for.

Gabriel Benitez (lost to Enrique Barzola) vs. Chris Gruetzemacher: Benitez is talented, and has all the makings of a Mexican cult favorite, but Barzola badly exposed his lack of takedown defense here. Gruetzemacher isn’t particularly dynamic, but he’s a solid wrestler, so he’d be a solid test to make sure that Benitez at least has enough to stick in the UFC.

Rashad Coulter (lost to Chase Sherman) vs. Dmitry Poberezhets: Coulter pretty much did all you could ask for - his leg got destroyed fairly early in the fight with Sherman, but he gutted through it and turned things into an awesome brawl that made both guys $50,000 richer. The lower reaches of heavyweight are pretty much a jumble of guys you could put against each other - what the heck, let’s go with Poberezhets, a talented Ukrainian who was supposed to debut on this card, but got hurt and replaced by Coulter.

Joachim Christensen (lost to Gadzhimurad Antigulov) vs. Jake Collier: Christensen got blown out here, and is the kind of guy who could either wash out of the UFC quickly or stick around until he retires depending on the matchmaking - he’s technically solid everywhere, but nearing 40 and not particularly athletic, he’s at a deficit against a bunch of opponents. Collier sort of walks the line, as an athletic guy who never really seems to have much of a gameplan, so that could make for a fun lower-level bout.

[mensajeriacolombia-blog]

Masturbate and Feel Good

Masturbate and Feel Good

best male masturbator "Masturbation... is simply not approved of often the Lord none this chapel, regardless of what could possibly be said by those as their 'norms' are lower", Director Kimball of the Cathedral connected with Jesus Christ regarding Latter-Day New orleans saints (1981) "Every sperm is usually sacred. Each and every sperm is fantastic. If a new sperm is lost, God gets quite irate. inch Monty Python's This is associated with Life. A estimate usually used by various chapels in an effort to be able to contain illicit functions amidst its people. Just about every rollo on masturbation might offer it, at least every one of the sermons I have read. Beneath the circumstances, is that difficult to think about masturbation as one of typically the biggest taboos in the society? Even today? Research education has done the little to modify it. Does that mean women and men no longer masturbate? 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Are an individual crazy? Noway! That you are just one of the the vast majority. And an amazing majority at that! Way more vast majority that what George Bush had in the last elections! The reason -social fitness! You are just like the child who ran out from the cinema hall that was verification an adult film (mind a person, he had absolutely no business to be there inside the first place! Although every one of the cinemas care about is the purchase regarding their tickets! ) Later in the day, the actual friend who had been recently at the movies using him, caught up using your pet and asked, "Why inside the hell's name do an individual run out? micron The youngster answered, "My mom declared if My spouse and i watched a woman getting naked I would transform to jewel. And darn you Harry, a element of me was currently becoming stone! " Unluckily, often the social conditioning will be inappropriate. It is while wrong as being the social condition in 18-19th hundred years Of india, where widows have been compelled to burn well along with their husbands. As inappropriate as the church ended up being in burning up Galileo regarding implying our planet was not really the centre with the whole world. Lily Tomlin said best, "We have reasons to consider that man first went upright to free his or her hands for masturbation! inch If god didn't need us to masturbate, maybe we would still end up being walking like dogs in addition to horses! Typically the social health is a result regarding quite a few myths, lies as well as cons perpetrated by a number of individuals for personal help. Unfortunately, this kind of conditioning is like a hard nut, very tough to fracture. However, with effort in addition to chanelising your energies, you can break it. Remember, the particular nuts that crack the toughest, are often the kinds that taste the best! Anyone must be wondering, the way the hell does it matter if you believe guilty about fleshlight. Why would you spend time bursting this cased characters? Certain clinical psychologists believe that guiltiness informed, whether sexual sense of guilt or in any other web form, is the most dangerous element on your mental health. Others still find it one regarding the most destructive. However the finest effect regarding guilt conscious if you ask me features been a lack of confidence with self. Now you are an intelligent reader. I don't have to have to describe you often the importance of self confidence. Specific your career, human relationships or any additional factor of life, lack involving self-confidence can bring your current downfall. Now I am not really implying that should you commence to feel more comfortable in relation to masturbation, you would succeed in all features of life. But the item might be a nice step to take. An useless guilt that should, and can be eliminated from your mind. Keep in mind, an ocean is produced of little droplets associated with water. Get rid of a decrease at a time as due time, the underwater would be empty! Connected with course it would take various millennia! The good thing is, you no longer have an ocean full of guily! Just some naggings every now and then! The first move towards eradication with this shame is knowledge. There are tons of myths around masturbation. Most of them perpetrated by foi, unfortunately. Nevertheless some perpetrated by scam runners. Lets examine the particular most important ones. 1. Fleshlight is against the particular will involving god. Bullshit. At one particular point the particular church regarded as anyone who was overtly excited to help his wife a great adultrater. Follow that teaching and also your wife would become doing adultery! Several clergymen have gone on record to help say which not just the church's coaching with regards to sexuality were unrelated in order to the scriptures, but which they caused more harm in comparison with good amongst people. Apart from, nowhere in the spiritual theories of any key beliefs is masturbation regarded as wrong. 2. Masturbation will probably cause erectile dysfunction. Most males and even a few ladies seem to think consequently. Wrong again. Lets equipment the males first. It really is understandable that seeing their very own sperm flow out associated with themselves, they think the item may end at some point. Well, it will end 1 day... maybe when you are 100 years old. However until then don't be anxious. Your sperm bank is quite unlike Standard Chartered. You could have unlimited credit here! Ejaculate is a completely environmentally friendly reference, renewable on a good hourly foundation! For females, well, there is no basis in the concept. Probably perpetrated by old ladies who else never had an ejaculation in their particular entire life! three. Fleshlight causes acne, hair loss, pores and skin diseases. This one is usually my favorite. Mainly mainly because it is one of several better scams of all moments! Your current social conditioning would likely have you imagine that masturbation is not particularly healthy. But undesirable how? Nobody would supply you a satisfying answer! Now some scam artists saw this as a great very good opportunity to easily sell their products such as locks growth lotions, etc. Due to the fact most people start masturbating during their teens, (the instances of acne breakouts and different skin problems), they'd have you believe that this particular is caused by masturbation! Unfortunately for them, it is since untrue as the sunrays rising from the gulf! Masturbation has no physical side effects! 5. Masturbating will make you slender and skinny! Then there is no need for eating habits pills and exercise routines my friend! And the majority of definitely 70% of USA didn't be overweight! 5. Only Kids masturbate! Why would you say that? I wonder! Nicely quite wrong, most grown ups masturbate... yes even after matrimony! 6. Masturbation is for guys. And it is for 70% from the women also. That's right, two thirds associated with all females masturbate! 7. Only losers masturbate! Another of my favorites. Simply goes to show simply how much of an taboo is masturbation! Primary, 00% of males and also seventy percent of females have masturbated at least once inside their lives. Now that is a hell of any lot of losers may you believe! Nothing more that I can also add definitely... this is really the actual epitome of insecurity amongst persons concerning self pleasure. eight. Fleshlight is for homosexuals. Wow. Exactly where did that will one originate! Someone need to make a etymology of the myths, would make intended for an exciting read! Simply as untrue while all these myths, masturbation as well as homosexuality have nothing in keeping. Some people masturbate to be able to their fantasies of opposite sex, others to their very own fantasies of exact same sexual intercourse. That's it. in search of. Masturbation will make you sightless! Others claim that fleshlight is usually bad for your own eyesight. Nevertheless , their states are unsupported by information and medical advice. I suggest you talk in order to your standard physician and he will make clear a person what a load regarding bull this is. 12. Fleshlight changes the shape of your male organ Very well, it does make the item steel solid. But believe myself, once you orgasm, the firmness is dead! So no. Masturbation possesses absolutely no effect on how your penis seems.

[foreveraloevera3-blog]

Masturbate and Feel Good

Masturbate and Feel Good

best male masturbator "Masturbation... is simply not approved of the Lord none this ceremony, regardless of what could possibly be said by those in whose 'norms' are lower", Leader Kimball of the Ceremony associated with Jesus Christ regarding Latter-Day Team (1981) "Every sperm is actually sacred. Just about every sperm is wonderful. If any sperm is wasted, Our god gets quite irate. inch Monty Python's This is involving Life. A estimate usually used by various churches in an effort to contain illicit functions among its people. Just about every arenga on masturbation will price it, at least the many sermons I have listened to. Under the circumstances, is it difficult to think about masturbation as one of typically the biggest taboos in our own society? Even today? Methodical education has done some sort of little to change it. Can that mean women and men no longer masturbate? Certainly not. 99% of men and seventy percent of women masturbate according in order to various experiments. The challenge lies in the popularity of the fact that will you masturbate. Clearly any story... a story about you. 1 night you actually were sitting solely within your apartment eating lasagna. You decided to check out out a few new sites on the net as you eat. So you diary on to your internet connection as well as start surfing. Inadvertently, you discover some piece of pornography(yes, the web is quite complete of it! ) Searching at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingley between legs. One factor leads to one more in addition to you end up spoiling your current underpants. Now make me tell you a different story. pocket pussy review One night that you were sitting alone in a nightclub drinking beer. And also then the most lovely person makes its way into the bar. The person that causes tingling between your feet just looking at him or her. You decide which you can't release this kind of opportunity to get to help know fantastic creation associated with god. Therefore you move in the direction of this person you need to tiny talk. One thing contributes to another and you ending up in your residence. Whether you are a new woman or a man, the next morning an individual didn't be jumping together with happiness in the first scenario. When you go away in the evening to help meet your friends, anyone would definitely not tell these people about the hot web-site you found and exactly how you jerked off in order to it. Connections, in the second case, you would be sharing with anyone who cared to listen how you possessed one of the most wonderful experience regarding your life last night. Precisely why? Well, maybe due to the fact personal pleasure is, very well, nothing special. You can carry out the idea anytime you wish. Of course influencing typically the person of your wishes is pretty an accomplishment. Zero wonder you require an viewers. But what in case you have a friend like me. A friend who is crazy adequate might you did an individual wank off yesterday night time? Has been it good? Exactly what do you do then? Will you tell your friend about the hot web-site in addition to your experience? Would anyone basically say, "Yeah! The item was excellent! What about you? " As well as would likely you pretend nothing had happened and lie... something such as you were somewhere otherwise yesterday night, or might be lead your good friend to be able to believe you got fortunate along with someone? I feel guessing you should do the actual latter. Most certainly you simply won't acknowledge the act of masturbation. Rather you would likely evade the question along with replace the topic. And when your friend tells you about a hot conquest the same night, a person would wish you had a pan of water in which you could drown. Shame in addition to sense of guilt would come over anyone and you would alter the subject in two times quick time period. Are you crazy? Noway! You happen to be just one of the the greater part. And a serious majority at that! Way more the vast majority that what George Plant had in the final elections! The key reason why -social physical fitness! You are identical to the son who ran out of your movie theatre hall that was verification an adult film (mind you, he had zero business of being there throughout the first place! Nevertheless the many cinemas care regarding is the sale regarding their tickets! ) After in the day, the actual good friend who had been recently at the movies using him, caught up having him and asked, "Why from the hell's name did you run out? " The boy answered, "My mom said that if I watched a woman getting naked I would turn to stone. And really you Harry, a aspect of me was previously becoming stone! " Unluckily, the actual social conditioning is definitely incorrect. It is since wrong for the reason that social problem in 18-19th centuries India, where widows had been pushed to burn living with their husbands. As drastically wrong as the church ended up being in losing Galileo for implying everything was certainly not the centre on the world. Lily Tomlin said ideal, "We have reason why you should think that man first walked upright to free the hands for masturbation! " If god didn't need us to masturbate, probably we would still possibly be walking just like dogs along with horses! Often the social fitness is a result of many myths, lies along with scams perpetrated by numerous individuals intended for personal gain. Unfortunately, this conditioning is definitely like a hard fanatic, very tough to crack. However, with effort in addition to chanelising your energies, you can break it. Remember, the actual nuts that crack the toughest, are often the ones that taste the very best! You must be wondering, what sort of hell does it make a difference if you believe guilty about masturbation. Why should you spend time breaking this covering? Certain psychologists believe that remorse mindful, whether sexual sense of guilt or perhaps in any other type, is the most destructive element for the mental well being. Others believe that it is one connected with the most destructive. However the finest effect associated with guilt conscious if you ask me provides been a lack involving confidence with self. Now you are an intelligent reader. I don't need to describe you typically the importance of self confidence. Whether it be your career, associations or any some other aspect of life, lack regarding assurance can bring your own personal downfall. Now I am not necessarily implying which will you start to feel more cozy concerning masturbation, you would likely succeed in almost all areas of life. But the item will be nice step to be able to take. A useless shame that should, and they are eliminated from your mind. Take into account, an ocean is built of modest droplets involving water. Remove a shed at a time as due time, the sea would be empty! Regarding course it could take several millennia! The good thing is, you have a tendency have an ocean packed with guily! Just some naggings here and there! The first move towards eradication in this guiltiness is knowledge. There are actually hundreds and hundreds of myths around fleshlight. Most of them perpetrated by faith, unfortunately. Yet some perpetrated by scam runners. Lets have a look at the most important ones. 1. Masturbation is against the will of god. Hokum. At just one point often the church regarded anyone who else was overtly excited to his wife an adultrater. Follow that educating along with your wife would become assigning adultery! Several clergymen have visited on record in order to say in which not simply the church's theories in relation to sexuality were unconnected for you to the scriptures, but they will caused more harm than good amongst people. Furthermore, nowhere in the non secular coaching of any major certitude is masturbation regarded drastically wrong. 2. Masturbation can cause erectile dysfunction. Most males and even several ladies seem to think and so. Wrong again. Lets take on the males first. It is understandable that seeing their sperm flow out connected with their body, they think the idea may end sometimes. Nicely, it will end one day... maybe when you are generally 100 years old. Nevertheless until then don't be anxious. Your sperm bank is pretty unlike Standard Chartered. You will have unlimited credit here! Sperm is a completely replenishable reference, renewable on a good hourly schedule! For females, well, there is simply no time frame in the theory. Probably perpetrated by previous ladies who never possessed an ejaculation in their entire life! several. Fleshlight causes acne, hair loss, skin diseases. This one is actually my favorite. Mainly since it is on the list of much better scams of all occasions! Your personal social conditioning would likely have you think that that masturbation is not particularly healthy. But undesirable how? No one would supply you a satisfying response! Now some scam musicians saw this as an excellent opportunity to easily sell their products similar to frizzy hair growth lotions, etc. Due to the fact most people start masturbating during their teens, (the times of acne and other skin problems), they would include you believe that this kind of is caused by masturbation! Unfortunately for them, this is certainly because untrue as the sunshine rising from the western world! Masturbation has no real side effects! several. Masturbating will make you slender and skinny! Then there would be no need for diet plan pills and exercise regimes my friend! And most surely 70% of USA didn't be overweight! 5. Simply Kids masturbate! Exactly why can you say that? We wonder! Effectively quite untrue, most older people masturbate... yup even after marriage! 6th. Masturbation is for adult males. And it is with regard to 70% from the women too. That's right, 2/3 connected with all females masturbate! several. Only losers masturbate! An additional of my favorites. Only goes to show only how much of the taboo is masturbation! First thing, 99% of males and also 70% of females have got masturbated at least once within their day-to-day lives. Now that will is a hell of a lot of losers may you think! Nothing more that I can add truly... this is really the actual supreme insecurity amongst individuals about self pleasure. 8. Masturbation is for homosexuals. Wow. Just where did which one originate! Somebody ought to make a etymology of such myths, would make with regard to an fascinating read! Only as untrue since just about all these myths, masturbation and also homosexuality have nothing in accordance. Some people masturbate in order to their dreams of reverse sex, others to their fantasies of same sex. That's it. being unfaithful. Masturbation will make you impaired! Others claim that fleshlight is bad for your own personal eyesight. But their claims are unsupported by points and health care advice. I actually suggest you talk in order to your common physician and also he will describe you actually what a load connected with bull this is. 12. Fleshlight changes the appearance of your male organ Well, it does make this firm. But believe us, when you finally orgasm, the firmness fully gone! So no. Masturbation features absolutely no effect on how your penis looks.

[jasonchi]

Speech

I recently had the opportunity to speak at my alma mater.  Here is a version of the speech I gave.  It’s got life lessons and all that good stuff.  I got dry mouth when speaking.

Good evening, everyone.  I’m really honored to be speaking here tonight.  Let me start by thanking IU and the ACC for inviting me to speak tonight.  I especially want to thank Melanie and Sarah for setting up this wonderful event.  Melanie has done such a wonderful job nurturing and growing the ACC and all the programs and initiatives that celebrate Asian and Asian-American cultures for the IU community.  I’ve known Melanie since before we opened the ACC and it’s hard for me to separate the ACC from Melanie.

A little bit about myself:

I graduated back in 1999. It’s still surprising to me that it’s been 18 years because those years have flown by since I left IU.  I was born and raised in Indianapolis.  My parents immigrated to the U.S. for work and school…actually, my mom and her sister both graduated from IU.  My parents lived in graduate housing back in the early 70’s.

After graduation I moved to Washington D.C. for a job and a new adventure.  I barely knew anyone there.  I thought I had it all planned out but looking back I really had no idea what I wanted to do.  I had taken to the idea of moving someplace new vs. actually having any sort of plan but that’s par for the course when you’re young.  

But, before all of that, I was a student here like you all.  I still remember the days before the ACC opened when we were all scrambling to finish writing grants and doing whatever was needed to make it a reality.  We were designated this broken down house that needed much work to get cleaned up.  

After much hard work from many people like Melanie we had this beautiful opening with speeches, a dragon dancing troupe from Chicago…it was great.  I was glad to be a very small part of the entire process even though I didn’t quite understand the significance of the moment or really know what I was doing.

I was surprised to get a message from Melanie about coming back here to speak tonight.  I try to keep up with the ACC and IU but have to admit I haven't been as engaged as I should be.  

After realizing it wasn't a prank I gladly accepted this opportunity to speak.  Melanie said the theme was "belonging" and, given the current political and social climate it seems like an appropriate topic to discuss.  

I don't have sage advice that will give you that a-ha moment like the Dalai Lama would give.  You’re all so smart and much more sophisticated than I ever was at your age but I will share some life lessons I've learned along the way.

Love what you do

I’ll start off with a bit of career advice: love what you do.  I’m sure you’ve read articles or heard inspirational speeches from luminaries in business, the arts, or elsewhere saying “Do what you love.”  That’s pretty good advice but I think it’s more important to “love what you do” rather than “do what you love.”  

It’s great that people like Richard Branson say he does what he loves everyday whether it’s trying to create space travel, run an airline, or hang out with famous people around his private island in the Caribbean.  But did he actually do what he loved everyday?  I’d guess not.  I don’t think he liked looking over paperwork, dealing with lawyers, or dealing with angry customers.  

A friend of mine left his comfortable, corporate job in Seattle to go teach at a community college.  Not just teach but create a program for people who don’t have the means to go to a traditional university like IU.  He doesn’t love the minutiae that comes with being a college instructor but loves what he does.  He loves seeing students from less fortunate backgrounds or students who decided to switch careers in their 40’s and 50’s graduate and find jobs.

If you can find pleasure and pride in what you do it will become a type of love.  I didn’t figure this out well into adulthood.  Been assigned a mundane task?  Do a really good job at it, teach someone else, and move onto the next thing.

Find enjoyment in the little things

Second life lesson: Find enjoyment in the little things.  Who likes naps?  Naps are awesome.  I highly recommend them.  You will feel much better even after closing your eyes for just 5 minutes.  Have you heard of the coffee nap?  It’s a short nap you take right after drinking some coffee.  I’m not sure it’s scientifically proven but it works for me.  

Warm cookies are pretty awesome, too.  So is a nice walk or hike.  

What I’m trying to say is finding enjoyment in the small things is no small thing.  It’s so easy to get caught up in looking for big rewards and big accomplishments but try to take a step back and enjoy the small things.  People are complex, life is complex so take comfort in the small things.  You’ll feel a certain basic satisfaction and you’ll feel more grateful.

Embarrassment

You will look back at yourself 5 years from now and profoundly be embarrassed.  Okay, maybe not profoundly embarrassed but you will look back at yourself with bemusement.  

I look back at photos of myself from the IU days or some other time and I just wonder "What were you thinking?  Why did you say that?!  You actually thought that was a good look?"  Facebook has been a source of some really embarrassing photos.  In high school I had the hairstyle affectionately known as the "butt cut."  

You know, the middle part in your hair.  Had the white shell necklace...I'm getting embarrassed thinking about it.  Socks with sandals…why?!    

But you know what?  I also look back on it as a time when I was having fun. If you aren't just a little embarrassed about what you were like back then it might be a sign you aren't progressing or you're really comfortable with yourself.  More power to you if that's the latter case.  

Looking back I'm also embarrassed by some of the things I said and the way I acted.  Like any other person I've done irrational things out of anger, jealousy, and happiness.  There's no good way to say "sorry" but these past experiences are reminders of what mistakes to avoid in the future and can help you become that ever-improving person.

Tough Times

Tough times are coming.  You will have all tough times.  I’m not talking about not getting the grade you want or missing out on a party tough times.  I’m talking about real tough times where you have overcome loss, sadness, and disappointment.  

Some you have already had to endure those times.  Everyone will eventually have to deal with these tough times.  But if can get through these tough times or help others get through tough times then the good times will seem better.  

That surly person you see may be going through some seriously tough times so maybe take a minute to think about it before snapping at her or him.  

There are silver linings to those difficult and trying situations…I can’t tell you what they are or when you’ll find them but I know they are there.  And you will get stronger from the tough times if you don’t let them pull you down forever.

Empathy

A valuable trait or skill to have is empathy; being able to see something from someone else’s point of view.  

I’m not talking about sympathy.  Sympathy is valuable, too, but it’s a temporary feeling compared to empathy.  It’s good you feel bad for someone but I think it’s just as important, if not more, to try to understand why someone is suffering.  

In my personal opinion, empathy is something that is cultivated and constantly developed throughout your life.

I’ll tell you a story of how I got called out for a lack of empathy.  I was working on a large project and the client was just the most difficult person to deal with.  If he wasn’t complaining about my team he was telling us we didn’t know anything.  One day I found out he had requested that my entire team be removed or fired because he didn’t feel we were doing a good job.  Well, I was fuming when I heard about his latest antics and loudly said to my team, “I know what he’s thinking.  He wants us fired because we won’t let him do what he wants and we know more than he does.”  

I was calmly pulled to the side by a senior advisor who said, “The client probably knows that you guys know more than him but you have no idea what he’s thinking.  He might be scared out of his pants because this is probably the most responsibility he has ever had and the only way he knows how to cope is lash out.  I’m not saying he’s right and, by all accounts, he’s unqualified for the job but you need to get it out of your head that you know exactly what he’s thinking without even trying see it from his point of view.”

I’m thankful for the talking-to because up until that point I had never even tried to see things from the client’s point of view.  I’ve taken this lesson to heart and tried to apply throughout life.  It doesn’t mean I’ll agree with everyone but trying to see something from someone’s point of view can help you understand why that person reacts a certain way.

Belonging

Finally, all of these life lessons I’ve just talked about are, I think, are the foundations of creating a community of belonging and, more importantly, a sense of self-belonging.  At the risk of sounding like the self-help section at the bookstore, focus on building yourself.

Being accepted by others is always warm and welcoming.  Being validated for who you are and what you do or have done is satisfying and is no less significant.  But outside validation and acceptance is like candy: it's sweet, satisfying, but fleeting.  After awhile you want more but the returns diminish and you become less healthy because of it.  

I think it’s almost tragic when you see people just rolling through life never really figuring out what they want to do or who they really are.  It isn’t selfish to think about what motivates you or how you feel about self-worth.  These are healthy mechanisms to make sure you don’t get lost.  

As we build ourselves from the inside out and understand who we are and what makes us act the way we do, I think we become better at understanding those around us.  Look, I’m not saying you will belong everywhere nor should you only go places where you know you’ll be comfortable but if you aren’t able to reconcile yourself you’ll belong nowhere.  

I think one of the reasons why we are so divided right now is many of us haven’t tried to reconcile who we are and what we need vs. what we think we want.  We think we know the “other side” but don’t really know ourselves.  This process of building yourself inside-out and becoming comfortable with who you are won’t happen overnight and it should be an ongoing process.  Apologies for the platitude but it’s the journey not the destination.

We’re all not that different from each other.  From the CEOs to celebrities to students, you all put on your pants one leg at a time, all get hungry, happy, and sad.  If we can all acknowledge that then we can begin to create a greater sense of belonging.

Everything I’ve said tonight I’m still working on myself.  I am a forever work-in-progress.

I’ll end my speech with a quote that really resonates with me: “Some people need tough love…some people need a lot of love.”  Now go share a warm cookie with someone who might need it.  Thank you.

[gem-marie-blog1]

Falling Behind

10:39 pm  Thursday I honestly don't think I could have picked a better time to incorporate the glucosamine and magnesium into my program.  I am in so much pain tonight it is almost unbearable to even lie down.  My entire back feels bruised as if someone has beaten me with a baseball bat.  I have muscles spasming everywhere and my joints are on fire.  I truly hope these new supplements help with pain relief, inflammation and sleep as well as the research seems to indicate. I NEED some restful SLEEP NOW! When you go for a certain period of time with little to no sleep it really starts to mess with your mind and your ability to not freak out over every little thing.  I am nearly at the end of my rope all the time lately because I am just exhausted.  I don't sleep soundly because I am in pain all night.  It is turning me into a very grouchy and negative person.  I do not wish to be a big jerk all the time.  So sleep has got to happen and it's got to happen NOW! Of course, I am super genius for sitting here blogging instead of already having the light off if I am so worried about sleep.  Right?  Duh! I hope to have a good report to share with you all in the morning on these new supplements. I also forgot to post my juice recipe today.  I will post it later in this blog post as well, if I can remember everything that went in it.  LOL! 1:53 PM  Saturday I have really been slacking with this blog and with doing the healthy things I am supposed to be doing for myself the past couple of days. Yesterday was the boy's 10th birthday and both the kids performed in a musical at school which had two performances.  I had to do a colonial style hairdo for the girl and stage makeup for a morning and evening performance.  The inlaws came into town for the morning performance and then we all went to a birthday lunch. I started out the morning vomiting off and on for a few hours.  I felt sick and feverish and my joints were killing me for most of the day.  I am not even sure how I managed to do the girl's hair and makeup as it it very difficult to raise my arms much higher than my waste when I am in this condition.  Somehow we made it happen though and she looked adorable. Brent and I were planning to take the kids to see the opening of Kong for the bday boy.  But by the time I had sat on the hard chairs for the hour and a half performance, plus the time we spent at lunch I was in so much pain that I was in a cold sweat.  There was no choice for me other than to come home and lie down while the three of them attended the movie. Man, talk about some serious mom guilt.  I usually go a bit overboard for birthdays.  Typically the kids wake up to balloons and streamers and paper cut outs of the number of years they are turning all over the house.  Unfortunately, I ran out of spoons and pain tolerance before they even made it to bed on Thursday night.  So my sweet little guy, newly double digits (kind of a big deal) did not wake up to these traditions yesterday and I did not attend his birthday movie with him.  Definitely feeling like mom of the year over here! Last night for their second performance I brought their two best friends along to watch and on the way home I stopped and bought a birthday balloon for the boy, flowers for the girl (she had kind of a big part in the play) and a 12 pack of Fanta (the boy's fav) and some cupcakes.  Phoning it in?  You'd better believe it.  We sang happy birthday in the car and they and their buddies had cupcakes on the way home at 9:30pm.  Sometimes I simply do what I can to get by and at least let them know that I care, even if I couldn't do my usual big deal stuff.   It is what it is.  If I obsess over the difference in my current abilities and what I would prefer to be doing,  I will just become depressed and be able to do even less.  I have mourned enough over the loss of the "old me." They know I love them and they still love me regardless of my shortcomings. Thank goodness for a simple reminder from a good friend! I had a sweet friend of mine message me this morning and snap me out of the neglectful way I have conducted myself the past two days.   This friend also struggles with chronic pain and fatigue.  She thanked me for this blog and mentioned that she is struggling to get moving today as she is in a great deal of pain and works a late job.  She mentioned that she finds my sharing about my struggle and my desire to push through the pain to be inspiring.  I appreciate her saying those things.  It made me feel less self conscious about sharing with all of you what I am going through.  But more than that it was a great wake up call! What the heck am I doing?  I didn't juice at all or exercise yesterday.  I only took a portion of my supplements.  I am in the process of baking a cake and throwing a birthday party today and have gone half the day, yet again, without doing everything in my regimen.  I did take my EmergenC and calcium, magnesium and B12.  But I have done little else that I am supposed to be doing to get myself well.  Instead I am only doing the things that wear me out and cause more pain.  How can I justify burning up spoons (refer to March 7 post for the 'spoon theory') and wearing myself out, if I am not going to try to replenish my energy and my ability to fight this harmful parasite in my body? Not smart, Gem Marie!  Get your act together! I messaged my friend back and encouraged her to get moving, even if it is just a little bit and/or to try and put some good things into her body today.  I can tell you this, one thing I will not be is a hypocrite.  I will not dole out advice and not practice what I preach.  It is just not in my character to do so.  Therefore, I am stepping up my game! I am so grateful to this friend for reaching out to me today!  Little did she know that in her effort to seek a little support on her end, she actually threw a big push my way.  We never know why we are prompted to reach out to another and I would venture a guess based on my own experience, that a lot of times our pride gets in the way and we choose not to do it.  We suffer in silence and think that no one wants to hear what we have to say.  Or that they wouldn't want to be bothered with our need for a little understanding.  What's funny about that is the fact that we may be helping them just as much, if not more, than they are helping us.  I am so grateful my friend was not too prideful to speak up and let me know she is struggling today.  I am sending positive vibes and much love her way and to anyone else who is having a hard time. WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER! I have decided to share what I told my friend in response to her message in case it could be helpful to anyone else who might be reading.  I really hope she won't mind. "It's certainly not easy and I get down on myself and my disease too sometimes. I think everyone who suffers with chronic pain and illness does. It's hard. Just hang in there babe and pick something small that you know you can handle and do it. It will make you feel like you've accomplished something and that begins to change your mindset which helps in not compounding an already difficult situation, by beating yourself up for the stuff you can't do. Make sense? So, say walking around isn't in the cards today, choose to write a letter or journal or read something uplifting or drink more water or choose to add in some foods today that help with pain and inflammation. Then, at the end of the day if you have managed to do that thing, whatever it is, you can use that feeling of accomplishment to push to do a little more tomorrow. Moving is important and believe it or not, even though our pain and fatigue is real, the ability to push yourself to get moving a little, is mostly mental. Every athlete or soldier will tell you that your brain gives up on any physical task long before your body ever will. Think about the 4 minute mile. For years no one thought it was possible until finally one guy did it. Then something like 14 other people did in that same year. The perception of their physical limitations had changed. That is really all it takes. If you are in too much pain, take a hot bath with Epsom salt to loosen up and then go for a super short walk or do some light stretching. Pick something you can handle but that is maybe a little more than the norm. If you do that, little by little everyday, my theory is that you will start to see some positive changes. I've been slacking pretty bad with my maintenance and with my blog the past couple days because we have had a lot going on. It's hard to remember to take care of ourselves like we should when our needs become overshadowed by those of our family. That is the balance I am working on figuring out currently. I have this very unhealthy all or nothing thing going on. Thank you so much for your message! You have helped snap me out of it and made me realize that I can't neglect myself today. I still have I take the time to put good things in my body and detox and blog and all the other healthy stuff I've been trying to do. Let me know if you are able to find a way to challenge yourself today. I would love to hear what you did and how it went! Remember it doesn't have to be big. Just has to be different." I went on to tell her that I hope I wasn't offensive with my advice. I know that the hardest thing to hear when one is in debilitating pain is that you should be moving or frankly that you need to DO anything. It can be so much easier said than done. I used to get pretty pissed when people would make this type of suggestion to me. I still get pretty annoyed with Brent from time to time when he tries to remind me of things like this, especially on super bad pain days. But whether I like it or not, this is what is required in order to start to heal. I know for a fact that the more times I win this particular battle in whatever small way I can, the better off I am in the long run. It is a long and arduous process, but it is the only path that I have found to at least begin making some small yet significant progress toward being well.

So, now to the healthy steps I am taking to ensure I do not remain completely off track today. - I am currently drinking some organic kombucha. - As soon as I finish the kombucha I will have orange juice, cherry juice and turmeric - I have taken ibuprofen - I have just taken my second dose of EmergenC - I am pounding water like crazy - I am juicing an anti-inflammatory juice as soon as I finish the cake - I will have a hot detox bath as soon as our party guests leave at 8:00pm This may just be the bare minimum today.  But as I told my friend, any progress is forward progress and is a positive thing. Update: The plan above did not quite go off without a hitch.  Kids started showing up early.  The mirror galaxy cake my son requested did not exactly work out.  As a matter of fact, I baked two different cakes.  Both a flop.  One, a fanta cake at the boy's initial request, which fell apart completely.  I then baked a second cake which also imploded, once I poured the glaze over top of it.  The punch overflowed, because I accidentally froze the 7up and the whole process of trying to have the treats ready in time for that portion of our little party was basically a big disaster.  Therefore, I ended up not having time to juice.  Bummer.  Instead, I am now drinking a Kevita Ginger and Turmeric drink.  Not my favorite flavor to be honest.  It kind of tastes like a spicy sort of pickle juice.  Yuck!  But it has some great probiotic and anti-inflammatory qualities.  So I will drink it whether I love it or not!  It is all about doing whatever I can to feel better, right?   Right! I used to spend two days planning and executing what were some pretty killer cakes for my kids' birthdays.   Now I try my luck at whipping up something cool in an afternoon.  Sometimes it works out.  Sometimes it does not.  I was pretty hard on myself earlier today when things were falling apart. I said and thought some very negative things about what a terrible mom I am and how nothing basically goes right anymore and blah, blah, blah... Self talk: Geez!  Get over yourself Gem Marie!  What is your deal?  Those kids shoveled cake into their like mouths like somebody was gonna take it away from them,  all while excitedly chattering about all the fun they had just had outside playing night games, led by the boy's awesomely fun dad.  Those kids couldn't have cared less what the stupid cake looked like.  Neither could that sweet boy.  Later he thanked us for an awesome birthday. It's true y'all!  They had a blast!  So who cares?  Saying something true to myself to quell negative thoughts is one of the new habits I am trying to develop.  I am certainly not the best at it.  But it is very helpful when I can put myself in check like that.  Sometimes it doesn't happen until hours later.  But I think as long as it happens at some point it can be counted as progress. Alright my friends, now I am off to take a much needed, and in my own opinion, well deserved and relaxing bath. Thanks as usual, for reading.  Please comment if you have anything to add or have any questions at all. Affirmation: I will do all that is within my capability and will not allow myself to shrink in the face of my challenges.