#whereas if he didn't self-blame; he'd pass on the control to someone else which could evoke feelings helplessness | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bloodxhound · 1 year ago

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Ray tends to blame himself if something goes dramatically wrong in and outside of investigations, even if the event in question may not have been his fault objectively. He doesn’t do this to elicit sympathy or comfort, nor because he’d fear a confrontation if he blamed someone else, but because self-blame creates the illusion of control. On a subliminal level, he equates being in control with being safe, and he needs to maintain this feeling at any cost. It’s the core motivation that drives most of his actions.

#【♞】 chr. study.#the thought process goes smth like this:#if it's my fault -> it was my responsibility -> i had the power to create a different outcome -> next time i Will create a better outcome #whereas if he didn't self-blame; he'd pass on the control to someone else which could evoke feelings helplessness #he doesn't like having to rely on other ppl < 3 #this is why he gets bossy during investigations too. since he feels everything is his responsibility your mistakes will be His mistakes #i cannot overstate how much of ray's actions and behaviors are influenced by the desire of being in control #it affects every facet of his life #work; personal relationships; his s.ex life; even his appearance #like guess what. if you're big and strong no one can push you around. you don't have to rely on anyone but yourself to keep yourself safe

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