#where’s that post that’s like 'daddy issues suck but your dad is just some guy. mommy issues alter your brain chemistry'

[holyshonks]

At the End of the Game

A short writing contribution for Potluck 2024!

I'm kind of obsessed with the fucked up, sibling-adjacent relationship that John, Cortana, and Miranda share. I got the impression, too, that they knew each other before the awards ceremony in Halo 2, so this explores some of that.

Halsey is not the Spartans' mom, but she sacrificed her daughter to give them the care and attention she was not giving her. Cortana is not flesh-and-blood, but she came from Halsey, so what does that make her? Her sister, her daughter, her clone? Miranda should be the easiest to define, but her relationship with her mother tests the tension between biological truth, and when neglect negates any claim to parenthood. In Halsey's efforts to spare them, to keep them close and preserve them, she failed them all.

John stepped through the hall, aware of how his footsteps shook the delicate equipment even out of armor. In the bowels of the lab, he would find Halsey’s office. Typically, she could be found around a table, deep in thought, working through something with Déjà. Her office was reserved for briefings or bad news or both, and John readied himself for anything. As he turned the corner, he stopped short. 

A girl. She was short, with a brown bob and brown eyes to match, deep and severe for a child. To John, she seemed impossibly young to be in a place like this, but he could also not recall the last time he interacted with a child. John did not have a typical childhood, nor a typical adolescence. His frame of reference was skewed by his own experience as a young, augmented teen with shatter-proof bones and a body that did not match the roundness of his face. Certainly, she was too young to be military. His jaw tightened. Halsey swore that the SPARTAN-II recruiting process was a last resort. If something about that changed, he wanted to know. 

"Who are you?" the girl asked, before he could ask her the same. 

"I'm John." 

Out of habit, he nearly rattled off his rank and superlatives that the people who wanted something from him were always looking for, but she was someone different. 

"You're waiting for Halsey?" 

"Yes." You didn't tell me your name. 

"Well, wait your turn."

John’s eyebrows perked at her curt response. She was either not as young as she looked, or sharp beyond her years. She was toying with him, looking for answers that she herself wouldn't share. She knew more than him, or, at least, wanted him to think she did.  He didn't understand why she was playing mind games, but he understood them. 

"Okay," John said impassively. He was an unwilling player, but he liked to win. 

"Why are you here?" 

"Same as you," he said, nodding to the door. 

"But why? What is she to you?”

“You don’t know?” The ghost of a smirk tugged the side of his mouth. 

She frowned. She got down here somewhere, knew more than a civilian would. But she didn’t know everything.

"What makes you so special?" 

John half swallowed. He knew the response he was supposed to give, been trained to give. If she were military, he would tell her it was classified and move on. But she was not military, not quite a civilian. She was something else that he couldn’t place, and until he recognized the theater he was in, a typical answer wouldn’t work. 

"I'm not sure what you mean,” he replied, still probing. 

"Why you? Over me?" 

His brows notched. This was getting stranger. "Who are you?" 

The words came out before he could stop them. She opened her mouth to speak, but the door to Halsey’s office slid open. If it weren’t for his augmentations, John wouldn’t have noticed how Dr. Catherine Halsey stiffened in the doorway. Her lab coat seemed to swallow her more every time he saw her, despite her larger-than-life reputation. 

"Miranda." Dr. Halsey blanched. "John."

The girl—Miranda—unceremoniously handed over a data pad. Haltingly, Dr. Halsey took it from her. 

"Permission slip. I need you to sign before I go back home."

Halsey read over the data pad. 

"Harmony? For two weeks?" 

"It's camp. Lots of people do it."

"And your father?"

"He won't be home when I get back."

Halsey's gaze shifted up and to the left, remembering. Then she shook her head. "Harmony is too far. There was a Covenant freighter detected in that system two years ago. It's not safe."

"Because of one ship, two years ago?"

"One ship that we know of."

"You’re making excuses. You just like telling me no.” Miranda’s cheeks began to redden. Her lips curled over her teeth. 

Halsey's eyes flickered to John. "Why don't you come inside? We can talk—."

"What difference does it make to you?" Miranda interrupted. "If I'm gone on Harmony or I'm gone with dad, I'm still gone. If you wanted to control me, you shouldn’t have given me away."

The doctor flinched like she'd been stricken. The girl crossed her arms, and John noticed something strikingly familiar about the challenge in her eyes.

"That's different,”  Halsey murmured. “At least I know you're safe with your father." 

John remembered. It was Jorge who noticed first, though he was never one for gossip. He’d kept it to himself until the tension and paranoia in the lead up to their augmentations began to eclipse reason–as the date drew nearer,  the trainees had begun to murmur about Halsey’s absence. Some attributed it to shame, that she knew the augs would fail, and that she could not face them. But Jorge was one of the oldest Spartans. He had—or used to have—a younger sister, and he remembered the way his mother looked, in those days. 

"Are you signing?" 

John had seen Dr. Halsey stand up to men twice her size, to ONI, to admirals with chips on their shoulders. She never hesitated to bite back at her rivals, or to defend her position. But her hands trembled as she signed her name on the dotted line. The moment she handed the data pad back, Miranda turned to leave. 

She regarded John for a moment. “Being her favorite isn’t what you think it is.” 

Before John could respond, she was on her way. 

"Miranda," Halsey called, "I want to keep discussing this. When do you go back?" 

"You don't know?" She rounded the corner, and disappeared. 

John and Halsey were left in silence. He swallowed. He wasn’t equipped for this. He should have excused himself the moment they started speaking, but something kept him there. Halsey seemed more vulnerable here than in a war zone. 

"I apologize, John. I...I didn't think that would go that way." Halsey’s mouth pulled into a tight line, regaining her composure. "Come in."

The room was too small, but it was all they could spare, given the circumstances. Johnson came up with some excuse. A quick briefing, and then back to the aftermath of Halo’s destruction. The briefing before the briefing, really, which Lord Hood pretended he was unaware of. The truth before she was given ONI’s version, a version she would see right through, John was sure. His shirt collar pinched the sides of his neck, his dress uniform too starch-stiff to tug loose. It was uncomfortable. It was the least he could do.

John let Cortana do the talking. She knew the most, and besides, she was always better with words. Miranda Keyes stared into Cortana’s avatar. The blue light reflected off her face, revealing shadows beneath her eyes. She hadn't said anything while the artificial intelligence recounted what happened on the Halo ring. What happened to Captain Keyes. What happened to her father. Instead, her erudite gaze passed between Cortana and John.

"Your father was a hero. Is a hero," Cortana concluded.

Long silence stretched between them. Despite what she'd just been told, her expression remained cool and unblinking. After tense seconds, Miranda leaned over the table, fingers clasped.

"Another one of my mother's pawns, aren’t you?" she breathed, nodding at Cortana.

Cortana's hologram flickered. When she reappeared, she stood straighter. The binary code that made up her image rushed down in rivulets.

"Ma'am?"

"That's okay," Miranda said, regarding them both. "I am, too."

[whackk-kermitt]

Dear PenPal

Prompt: Write a story that only consists of love letters.

STRAP IN, IT’S A LONG ONE! Warning: Fluff, No fire, Mention of homophobic Bullying, Mention of Bullying and Harassment, Shameless(steamy)flirting, some sexting(if you can call it that), Some Angst, happy ending Summary: Due to bullying and harassment at Beacon Hills High, the school board came up with the idea to randomly match each student with another and make them write letters talking about their experiences. At the beginning of the day, they will receive their letter, and by the end of the day have to turn in their response(Receiving a letter every other day) They've been asked to keep their letters anonymous.

Important(sort of): I saw a post where someone said high school au's portray Derek wrong because in high school Derek was completely whipped for Paige and I can't agree more. So soft mushy Derek for one, soft mushy Derek for all!!

Certain grammar mistakes are on purpose, these are handwritten letters I'm emulating here. Others. . .I'm just too lazy to proofread- I mean-THEIR ON PURPOSE

≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪ Dear penpal,

I honestly don't understand why I'm being made to write about bullying and shit when I'm not the issue in this hellhole school. But Mr Harris said if I don't participate he's gonna knock points off my final grade. Does that count as bullying? I think he has it out for me.

Anyway, Jackson Whittmore is a jackass, and I'm comfortable blaming him for all my problems. If this is you Jackass, your daddy's money means nothing and you're pathetic.

Apparently, we're gonna have to deal with each other all year or until the superintendent gets bored and loses all interest in this project of his. I don't see this still being enforced past a month or two.

They don't want us telling each other our names or anything. which is stupid So I need something to call you. You can call me Batman!

Sincerely, Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

It doesn't matter to me whether we're writing to penpals all year, I'm out of here soon enough anyway. But it's a half-decent idea for kids to hear about bullying and what it can do to someone behind the curtain, it opens your eyes. Really makes you think about what you say to people before you say it. Some kid in my homeroom was excused because whatever his pen pal had confessed to him made him cry so hard I thought his eyes would pop out of his head.

As for Jackson Whitt-whore, I totally agree. He's never bothered me in particular, but he's laid into some friends of mine before and I wanted to rip his throat out with my teeth. I know I have some serious issues, but that guy has ISSUES.

If we're gonna deal with each other all year, or however long this lasts we might as well have some fun with it. Right??

Tell me some things about yourself..

Sincerely, Superman (the best dc hero)

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

Since um when? As cool as Superman is, batman is easily better by at least a hundred times!! Don't embarrass yourself, buddy.

Was it Greenburge?? I heard something about him crying like a baby down the hall lol

I don't know what to tell you without giving away who I am. I mean I'm pretty unnoticeable unless you know what to look for, and then I stick out like a sore thumb.

I like

comics

food

starwars

reading

reading about starwars

reading comics

the smell outside just after rain

watching garbage cop shows with my dad and making fun of all the shit they get wrong

dogs

curly fires (I mentioned food but curly fries are in their own category because they deserve it)

HATe

Jackson Whitt-whore good one

tinny annoying dogs

when I forget my clothes in the washer and they start to stink and I have to wash them again

sports (only because I SUCK) I like watching hate playing

people who think Superman is better than Batman

lack of personal space

derek hale

fake cheese ruining otherwise perfectly good nachos

What about you, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

First off, not really funny about Greenburge. I talked to him about it yesterday and the person writing to him confessed some pretty dark shit that's been said to them. Videos of them got posted online and how they get picked on in school and online by complete strangers. They mention how they were seriously depressed. (Although he does blubber like a baby, it was valid in this case.)

Second, what did Derek Hale ever do to you?

Lastly, I like:

Superman

Reading

Cooking

Basket Ball

Baseball

Comics as well

Family time

My sisters (don't tell them that)

The idea of traveling

Cats

I don't like:

People with zero work ethic

Bullies

People who hunt for sport

People who are dumb enough to think Batman outranks Superman

People who don't like sweets (can't trust them)

Dirt in between my tose

Mr Harris

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

Oh shit for real about Greenburge? damn. I feel sorry for whoever wrote him that letter.

Also derek hale is a douchebag jerk face. He used to tease the hell out of me but I guess he's mellowed out this year since everyone is talking about all the bullying and shit their penpals are confessing to.

I try not to hold grudges- dad says its not good for me- but I'm gonna hold onto this one. Derek hale can suck my big toe!

also dude it sounds like you just don't like people.. fair enough I guess I don't either but damn you do have issues

-batman

p.s sorry was in a rush, forgot to write until now school gets out in 5

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Damn.

I'm gonna be out of town for a few days next week, don't sus out who I am while I'm gone.

Also yeah, I don't trust easily. You know the deal with broken hearts. Been burned too many times. But as a result, I love and hold onto people even harder now. So I guess it's a win-lose.

Are you gonna be at the game tonight? Scratch that, you won't get this until tomorrow. Hope you have fun, otherwise, enjoy whatever it is you're doing tonight.

Question: what do you wanna be when you grow up?

Sorry, I'm just trying to think of ways to get to know you better. You seem cool.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

I seem cool? I'm legit a geek with like one actual friend. People just roll their eyes when I speak I roll them back but whatevr

You wanna get to know me cause im cute ;) or . . . you want to get to know me, so you can sus me out first, huh? Well, the race is on baby!

I haven't really thought about what I wanna be, most likely something in law enforcement. Aim high how about the FBI that would be sick!!

What about you tough guy? any big plans for life?

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

I don't even know what you look like, how would I know if you're cute? You don't know what I look like, so you couldn't even say if I'm cute.

I haven't thought about it much either. Maybe I'll open a bookstore or even a bakery? I'm not sure, those are just two things I like pretty well. Might end up in the family business or as a mechanic.

It's kind of sad now that I think about it; I've never really considered what I am without my family. Whatever it turns out to be it won't be far from home, that's for sure. Hell, I'm down to be a stay-at-home dad even.

That sounds really nice.

Sincerely, Superman

P.S FBI is super cool

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

I think it's cute that you felt the need to defend yourself about thinking I'm cute. You so think I'm so cute, don't you??

I also think it's cute that you wanna be a stay-at-home dad. Not gonna lie- dads are hot. Sometimes. but like, dude-wife energy you know??

also, just an idea- might take some serious cha-ching- but if you owned your own bookstore cafe you could totally bring your little ones with you to work and it could become your very own family business

i can imagine Superman jr running around like he owned the place.

"do you know who my daddy is, he owns this place, he's Superman"

SUPERCUTE Get it??

Dumb joke never mind

if were on the topic of getting to know each other whats your deepest darkest secret??

-Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Sure, Batman, you're cute. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

That's a nice idea though, I like it. Maybe I'll aim for that. I wouldn't mind having my babies grow up and take over a shop I built. Definitely need that "cha-ching" though.

Deepest darkest secret? We only just met, you gotta at least buy me a drink first.

I'm a werewolf.

Your turn Batman

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

you SOOO think i'm cute!! I'll buy you a drink anywhere anywhen.

Also ha ha ha, super funny. but if you don't tell me yours I'm not telling you mine. hmm, you do have trust issues so I guess it's only gentlemanly of me to do it first- even though I'm buying you a drink at some point now.

Um I'm finding comfort in hoping you never ever know who I am when I tell you this

I've been talking to this guy and I kinda like him. We don't really know each other all that well, but from what I do know, there's nothing I don't like. But I'm not stupid enough to fall for that trap again so I'm not gonna bother

Also also “my babies” you're fucking adorable.

-Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Hope you didn't miss me too much while I was gone.

I know it's Friday and you won't see this until Monday but how have you been? Do you have plans over the weekend? What did you do over the weekend, I should say? I've been home the last three days so I'm itching to go out this weekend.

I'll be at the lacrosse game tonight, then I'll most likely hang out at the arcade with some friends tomorrow. Someone beat my high score on Pac-Man so I've gotta reclaim my crown.

Anyways, whats been up since I've been gone?

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Fuck you Superman

Not really sorry. I forgot you said you'd be gone for a few days and I thought for a while you ditched me.

Also, I was at the arcade on Saturday!! And just to let you know DRH your score was not hard to beat. Your crown is mine forever champ

What time were you there? What if we're were there at about the same time? Dude that's crazy! I was there at about 5ish and stayed for about two hours I think I don't really remember

-batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Screw you STI,

I left about five o'clock and had to get home for dinner, so we just missed each other. I waisted nearly three hours trying to get my high score back! I finally did it!

And what happens when I go back after your letter yesterday? You're on top again! Screw you. All that time and money for nothing.

I don't know what made you think I'd ditch you before, but now I'm considering it. You are the reason I don't have nice things.

In your wise words, “suck my big toe”!

Sincerely, Superman

P.S your initials sound like damn std

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Haha Superman

Don't be such a sourwolf.

Be humble, dude. Nobody likes a sore loser. Its not my fault I'm better then you, I'm perfect.

But hey maybe if you calm down I can give you some advice. I am perfect after all I give the best advice. And I advise you to take me up of it for the sake of your wolvly-hood.

But if you insist on being a sore loser, I could give you a massage to work out the kinks. ;)

-love yours truly, Batman 

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

“Sourwolf”? Really?

I regret telling you anything.

And don't think I didn't catch that last part. I had to hold it up to the light to see what you scribbled over but I saw it.

If you're so perfect why did you scribble out the shameless flirting? Not confident, hmm? If you're so perfect, why so shy, sti?

I think it’s cute, honestly. But I don't think you could take the heat. I think if we were face-to-face you'd be puddy in my hands. I think your mind would go blank and you'd revert to caveman lingo.

“Huh” “yeah” “mhmm” and a whole lot of grunting.

You're probably so hot under the collar right now you're not even reading this anymore. You're just thinking about us grunting a whole lot. I bet it's so easy to get under your skin.

I wonder what kinds of things you're thinking right now. I wonder if you'll go all day thinking about it. I wonder what you get up to when you're finally home alone.

You'll probably reread this letter over and over won't you, sti?

Can't wait to hear from you tomorrow.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Holy shit dude

Warn a guy before you say things like that. I literally choked on air my friend thought I was having a panic attack

Jeez I don't even know what to say now

What the hell am I supposed to say?

Yeah you're probably right about when I get home tonight though, not gonna lie. Damn dude

We should meet I think..

-Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Holy hell, I was joking before. Wasn't expecting you to actually get hot and bothered. Thought you were just gonna roll your eyes and fuck with me.

Dude you actually touch yourself?

Like you seriously went home and I don't even know what to say cause I'm not sure if the teachers read these before passing them on. I don't wanna get into trouble.

But I kinda wanna get into trouble.

I regret nothing, hot damn.

As flattered and curious as I am about meeting you in person, I don't think I want it to be just for sex. You know? Like you seem like such a good guy, I don't wanna waste all my time with you on just that.

I want you to like me more then that.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Okay superman confession time I guess. Remember the letter I sent you before you took off? The guy I mentioned liking?

Sort kind of was you…

I said before I forgot you had mentioned not being in school for a few days, so when I never got a letter back I thought you put the very obvious pieces together and stopped writing back cause I mad it weird.

But I guess you're just ditzy cause clearly it when right over your head.

I do like you, I wanna meet you. Maybe at the arcade or something? I could show you how to actually be good at Pac-Man.

Only if you want!

-Batman

PS I DID NOT THINK ABOUT TEACHERS READING THIS OMG

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

That was me?! I didn't even adress it cause I didn't know what to say. I don't have a good track record with relationships and I didn't wanna screw anything up by getting jealous you weren't into me when we've never met.

Holy crap you have no idea how happy I am right now.

I think you're amazing. And I know we've only been talking for a month and it's been mostly banter but I really like the idea of getting to know you better. Person to person.

I’m gonna be honest though, I kind of don't want to cause I don't want you to be disappointed when you find out who I am. I don't think you like me very much outside these letters. I don't even know who you are in the slightest.

I've taken notes about you and tried to figure it out but I'm fucking clueless dude.

I'm nervous to talk new people, actually, anyone, cause I don't know if it's you want I don't wanna drive you away or give you a reason to be any more upset when you meet me.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

You are the cutest ditz I've ever not met ever. You have no idea how many times I read that letter and GIGGLED. Honestly, I kinda hate you for it now. That was embarrassing in Mr harris's class. I couldn't help it your so fucking cute I swear

I was like a 13 year old girl getting Justin Bieber's autograph. EMBERASSING

but you're sweet so I forgive you.

I'm ready to meet when you are, I don't wanna push you into something you're unsure of. But I want you to know that whatever I may have thought of you before, whatever impression I gave you to make you think I don't like you, it doesn't really matter now.

I know you well enough that I don't think any of that matters anymore.

Unless I hate you in person cause you were a total dick.

Then I think you'll have to make it up to me. ;)

I take smooches as payment for being a jerk

-Batman🖤

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

You really are something special. But do you really think it would all be swept under the rug, just because I made you giggle?

And we've talking about ouselves and our goals and everything but do you really know me well enough to make such a bold statement like that?

I wanna trust that when we meet it will be like a fucking fairytale, but fairytales are never as fun and a hell of a lot more gory in real life. I don't wanna be a downer but I don't wanna be hurt again. I've told you things about myself I've never told anyone. Things I don't trust anyone with.

I let my guard down and if you end up looking me in the eye and you can't stand what you see, then that's gonna break my heart.

Sincerely, Superman.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

I know that you're sweet. I know that you're a family man. I know you want kids and a big happy family of your own. I know you're smart, you always use basically perfect grammar and spelling. I know you're an introvert who like quiet time with friends more then parties. I know you love to cook. Not just because you told me, but because I get the feeling with you shifters that you're a total mommas boy. And mommas boys can always cook. I know you feel things with all you're heart and I bet you pour everything you have into your family and sisters. Even if you don't want them to know how much you love when they fuck with you. That's just what sibling are for- so I've heard. I know you've got enough charisma and charm that you probably have a lot of friends. But only maybe two or three of them would last long enough to be invited to your wedding someday. I know you are poetic, just based on the last few letters. I know you're funny as hell. You've made me laugh a few times. I know even though you seem like a macho sport guy your really a softy. Total hopeless romantic I bet. I know you're a geek like me, a fucking nerd too I bet. I bet you one of the top kids in class. I know my dad would love you. I know you're a werewolf. Which means if I tell you that tonight I'm gonna go to the store and find the strawberry-scented soap or perfume, what ever I can find, tomorrow you'll be able to sniff me out. You'll hear my heart when I walk into a room super nervous, knowing you'll know its me. I know that you care about me. And I know you're smiling like a little kid right now. I know you'll probably read this over and over but you won't tell a soul.

Have fun sniffing me out today, superman.

-Batman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

I know who you are. You weren't lying when you said you were perfect.

I smelled the strawberries as soon as I knew to look for them. Followed it in between classes. Kind of sent me on a wild goose chase for a bit, was late a couple times. The scent traveled everywhere, couldn't tack it. The you came into lunch, you walked right by me.

Your heart was racing just like you said it would be. It looked like you were looking for me too. I wanted to just walk over and kiss you silly.

I ran away like a fucking loser though.

Just got up and left. I'm sorry I'm such a coward. I miss you though. I know you already went home. I'm staying late to right this to make sure you get this tomorrow.

I almost didn't write anything. I didn't expect you to take me seriously when I told you. Didn't expect you to believe in werewolves or to know anything about us. That kind of scared me.

I had a girlfriend before. She had no clue. When she found out, she moved. She was so afraid of me like she didn't even love me anymore. I was a monster to her all of a sudden.

But for you, you don't seem to care. You used it to help me find you. Used your scent to help me find you and you probably don't know as much as I think you might, but that sort of thing makes the wolf go crazy.

Like a hunting game of cat and mouse but without the murder and eating at the end.

Shit, Stiles, you're so perfect.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

I told you so.

But, my friend got bit. I had to sort through Hollywood bullshit and actual facts to help him not kill anyone every full moon. Honestly if I had known there were wolves in Beacon Hills other than the sick fuck that attacked him I probably would've gone to them to help him.

But he's got control over it know. Full moons are more like a girl's time of the month for him now. Don't tell him I said that. Or your sisters! When I meet them I don't want them to be pissy over it.

But I don't mind. The claws and fangs are kinda hot. Definitely not hot on my friend! Ew

But I got to thinking about that night. I kinda liked it more than I thought I would.

I'm still here superman. You can't chase me away with claws and fangs. ;)

-Batman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Warn a guy. I read that first thing this morning and I lost control for a minute. Hand to hide my claws in my jacket. You owe me a new one by the way. The pockets are fucked.

I wanna scent you so bad. You don't smell like me and it makes me uncomfortable. I wanna rap you up on my scent and leave you there until you smell more like me than yourself.

On a more serious note, I think its time I ask. I don't wanna pry but this whole thing was supposed to be about bullying anyway. How did Derek Hale tease you? It's been really bothering me since your first few letters. Why do you hate Derek Hale? I mean you don't seem, at least from your letters so far, to be harboring a serious grudge against Jackson, so what makes Derek that much worse? What did he do exactly?

I don't really remember anything that could make someone hate him as much as you do. Yet I'm biased. So, I guess I'm just concerned.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Oh dear lord you're dereks friend??? That's why you think I don't like you? Cause you hang out with that jerk? this is awful I hate you

No i dont sorry

DO NOT TELL HIM ABOUT ME AT ALL

I'm serious Superman. Please.

I was humiliated by him! I dont want to drag up anything and relive freshmen year, it was the worst. Thank god people forgot about it over the summer and it's been peaceful since.

And don't get all wolfy jelly over it, cause I'm over it. Its all you now baby.

I may have let it slip ACCIDENTLY - i talk alot, my mouth moves before my brain can tell it to shut up- that I sort of maybe had a teeny weeny little bit had a major crush on him. the next day his friends were laughing at me in the halls and there was a note in my locker calling me a fag and shit

This was back before danny made it cool to be gay.

I couldn't even muster up the balls to tell my dad what I was crying about when I got home. I spent all last year avoiding him like the plague and yet I still got mean notes in my desk and locker every now and then

like i get he probably doesn't like guys, and even if he did I'm like a fish out of water on my best days- very clumsy- not the prettiest flower in the garden but let a guy down gently you know??

I just wanna forget about him and his stupid face

-Batman xoxo

Ps I owe you a drink, jacket, Pac-Man advice and you owe me smoches. Am I forgetting anything?

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Don't be mad. . please don't be mad. Derek says he has no clue what you're talking about. He never had any guy confess a crush on him, and he certainly didn't tell anyone about anything like that. Literally ever.

Maybe someone else overheard and they made fun of you? But I don't know, cause you never told him anything like that. Derek isn't the kind of guy to do something that fucked up. He's an ass sometimes and he knows it but he wouldn't do that.

It doesn't change the fact that you were hurt, and I'm so sorry that happened. Whoever is responsible is twisted and deserves a beating. I'll rip their throats out with me teeth, just give me the word!

Please don't be mad!

Maybe try talking to Derek? I'm absolutely certain he will wanna hear from you in person about this.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

[Blank Page]

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Please, please, please talk to me! Nobody else knows about this and I swear Derek won't tell anyone. I want you to understand that Derek would never in a million years use someone's feelings like that to hurt them. He's a total pussy honestly!

He's been taken advantage of by someone he's gave his heart to, so he wouldn't do it to someone else.

I promise you with everything in me, Stiles.

Derek Hale if not that kind of guy, there's a misunderstanding somewhere. I want to understand what happened. I want to help!

Between you and me, Derek is Bi, not out to his family or literally anyone yet. He wouldn't out you like that.

Can you please tell me what happened? Spare no details.

Sincerely, Superman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Derek wouldnt out me maybe, but you just outed him??? how the hell am I supposed to trust you after I asked you not to say anything and then you did!! THEN you outed your fucking friend.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Yeah, I get how I fucked up there. But Derek was down for it! I let him read the letter and he told me what to say. Think of me as his wingman! He wants to know what happened just as much as I do.

Swear on my mother, Batman.

thats a weird thing to write so sincerely

Yours Truly, Superman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Fine Superman.

First off, why didn't you just fucking drop it! I don't wanna mend anything with this guy cause I want you! Derek Hale is dead to me, a thing of the past.

But you wanna know why your friend is a dick, sure.

I was sort of his friend- kind of only because I knew Cora. It was a best friend's-other friend's-friend's-friend thing- cora being the last one. I don't know we just kind of knew each other and we were chill. and that's how we met. we talked for maybe three minutes at Cora's birthday party last year and then I literally only saw him from a distance at school. but I was whipped okay.

I mean have you seen him?? he's fucking perfect. totally unfair

We ended up in a group project though, even though he was out for the week- family emergency or whatever it was. But the group got everyone's phone numbers down to go over shit, and thats how I got his number, and we started talking- like literally every night for a good two weeks. I let it slip on night when we were going back and forth fucking with each other that I liked him

I was gonna play it off like as friends or whatever but he said he had to go and then blocked my number.

The rest is history.

Stiles out

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Stiles,

What was the phone number?? Are you sure you got the right one? Derek never got any texts like that! I swear he wouldn't do that to you. Ever. Not you.

If we can sort this out then you'd see where it all went wrong. And you won't hate him anymore.

I wanna make this right.

Sincerely yours, Superman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dude why does this fucking matter? Its not like just because we’d potentially be a thing doesn't mean I have to be buddy buddy with all of your friends. I don't care about whatever happened between me and Derek fucking Hale. I don't give a shit about him. He's old news, loser boring basic news okay.

He's a jerk and there is no way in all his time hanging out with that asshole that called me names and beat me up, and told everyone I was a freak and a fag that he didn't catch on. He had to have known something was happening because the whole school knew it was happening. He may have not been the one to call me those names. Or break my arm and nose. He may have not been the one to tell Jackson all about how I thought he was pretty and smart or whatever I was hyped up for but he still knew I was getting shoved, jumped, and dragged through the dirt.

And just like everyone else who watched, he said NOTHING. didn't step in didn't stop it, nothing.

He may not be a bully, but he's a bystander which is so much worse Superman.

I was hurt and alone and at some point I let myself believe it was actually my fault. I don't care about Derek Hale anymore.

I don't wanna think about him.

If you wanna keep being his bud then whatever defending him and shit go ahead. I won't stop you.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

Haven't heard from you in two weeks. I've been reading your letters over and over. I miss you. I'm sorry I kind of blue up on you in that last letter.

I ended up taking a lot of things out on you that I shouldn't have. I'm so sorry. I never talked about any of that with anyone, so I kind of just bottled it up. And you poking and the damn broke. Its not your fault.

You just wanted to help, and your stupidly sweet for that.

My feelings for you haven't changed at all. I still wanna be with you, and totally school you at Pac-Man. I wanna argue over Batman VS Superman. I wanna meet you and smooch and cuddle. I wanna go home smelling like you. I want your sisters to like me. I wanna do stupid romantic shit that makes you blush and get all cute.

I want you to talk to me again.

I miss you so much.

Sincerely Yours, Stiles xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

ps I guess I owe you kisses for being a jerk now

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Stiles,

You're really gonna hate me after this one.

I asked around about it. I don't hang out with those guys anymore. You were right, their fucking bullies. I don't know how I never noticed. They were always so cool and nice when I was around. But I guess you weren't their only victim. Basically, the whole school thinks those guys are assholes. And so am I by association.

You never had my number. You were taking Greenburge the whole time. He told Jackson and them about it and they said they thought they were doing me a favor.

If you hadn't been given the wrong number none of this would've happened.

Meeting you last year would've saved me from a lot of pain. You make me feel at home in my skin. I meet Paige at that party right after you. But you never seemed to notice me and Paige did.

When she saw me as I am she made me feel like a monster, I hated myself for it afterward. Still do. I felt like being born the way I am would cost me everything. Like id have to settle for someone who was just okay, because they're a wolf and they get it. Like I was robbed of being with someone as amazing as you because I was a monster.

But here you come, and you're so fucking perfect, Stiles. You make me feel whole again like I can trust my wolf again. I trust you with every part of me.

My anger, fear, loneliness, my love.

I didn't want you to know who I was while you hated my guts. I didn't want you to look at me like I don't even know. I wanted to clear up the misunderstanding before we met in person is what I'm saying. I want you to like me so bad it hurts, Stiles.

Cora made fun of me for crying when Mom put strawberries on our pancakes the other day. I didn't tell anyone about you. I couldn't. Didn't know how to think about you without feeling like shit.

I never wanted to hurt you but I did anyways. I'm so sorry sorry.

Sincerely, Derek Hale

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Derek,

Saw Greenburge with a cast and broken nose. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? I know you've been suspended for fighting the past few days. But I know you'll be back here today so

I just wanna forget about this. I wanna just get to the good bit where you're all over me because I'm so fucking perfect.

heres my number xxx-xxx-xxxx text me so I can actually have your number this time.

With Love, Stiles

ps meet me in the locker room during lunch so we can be alone

I'm gonna smooch you so hard ≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪

Part Two (Comming Soon)

•Kermitts Masterlist•

[captainarchmage]

Why CaptainArchmage thinks you should vote Democrat in the Georgia Special Runoff

Once again, I did not, at all, want this particular blog to be devoted to politics or make any political posts. On November 8th, I was thinking I'd *have* to do two, but I'm now leaning towards three as there is this Georgia run-off to vote in a Senate election to see who goes to the Senate, coincidentally, for six years. The race is between a pastor/vicar named Warnock, who is coincidentally a Democrat, and then there’s a former NFL player named Walker with a bunch of women claiming he pressured them into abortions and then there's a bunch of deadbeat dad and domestic violence allegations too on the side.

Really, commander?

In defense of Walker, at least he is not also a wrestler and porn star claiming to be a “conservative republican” (see video at bottom) while bashing gay people (actually Walker is doing that) and tweaking out on amphetamines (no comment) he uses to keep his private parts working (and Walker sure doesn’t keep them to hisself there) WAIT WHAT AM I FUCKING TYPING.

The Republican Party sure does seem to attract a certain kind of candidate, and it’s not just one thing that’s wrong with them. Sure, under the principles drilled into our heads in free western society everyone has a point, but it seems there’s something immediately off about these candidates, and when you start scratching beneath the surface things just get worse. Walker’s one of those people, and he isn’t the only one.

Over in Pennsylvania, the candidate was some “doctor” pushing fake medical advice, who tortured puppies (and had a license revoked over that incident), who drank his own piss, tried to suck his sister’s brain out with a needle, and because that wasn’t enough he also mocked a stroke survivor. Also that guy lost, thank God, but quite frankly none of this should be that close at all. That’s one of the reasons you should get out and vote, and, ideally, not for these people. Like any of them.

The whole Republican lineup, WITH VERY FEW EXCEPTIONS, kind of looks like this screecap (off Hiveswap: Act 2), but to be fair it's a lot worse than that. They always seem to find someone worse. Would you bet on the off chance ANY Republican candidate would somehow turn out otherwise?

https://warnockforgeorgia.com/issues/lgbtq-equality/

In Georgia, and I guess this article is specifically aimed at folks living IN GEORGIA, Walker is actually bashing gay and trans rights, while Warnock has committed to defending the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community. That’s important, because these people deserve rights. LGBTQIA+ of course is short for some of what I call “other people”: anyone who doesn’t conform to certain bigoted narrow minded concepts of what someone deserving any rights whatsoever looks like.

And all of whom fall on what I call the “Bumper Book of People Conservatives Don’t Like”. I’m toning down what I think about it here, down to that it’s a huge book.

Having grown tired of trying to make sense of the bigotry, CaptainArchmage decided to create his own Hoochie Daddy Short Short Abridged Short Shorts version of that book, which comes down to two words: “Other People”. We don’t need to extend any more intellectual effort and should not need to extend any further intellectual effort to quantify this.

Put that way, it sounds like these people have a real bloody problem, innit. Conservatives, that is. Or whatever these people call themselves now, something like “national populist pro-herrenvolk...” maybe, you know, maybe, put a cork in this before it gets to where things were in nazi Germany?

The choice should be clear BY THEN. Check your birth certificate, skin colour, age, bank balance, credit card statements, property ownership, and most people will fall afoul of Republican views.

And this is before I get to social security, which is to say you’re one of “needs social security now” or “will need social security in the future”. It’s before I get to voter suppression, and if you’re going to live in a Democracy, you know, it’s kind of important to be able to vote somehow and get your ballot counted or you might as well be considered disenfranchised. You’re disenfranchised in all but name, I get.

There ARE checks and balances, but as it is the US Supreme Court seems to have taken on a number of reactionary judges lately who aren’t actually going to back up voting rights (in fact the voting rights act was gutted if I remember rightly), and might even work to create a constitutional crisis where the logical contradictions build up to the point where nothing works and people, particularly those in power could get away with anything. In other words, those checks and balances are fraying. Fortunately, you CAN assert yourself in this election by adding one more Senator who will actually vote for a progressive or at least not-nihilistic judge and also the Democrats gain control of all the Senate committees instead of them being divided in two.

If you’re worried about “diversity” up there, and “one party rule”, remember the Democrats are a broad church. The fact that there’s constant wrangling between progressives, liberals, and a few outlier conservatives within the party should tell you that there is a functional structure in there that’s not all-out trying to impose a cultish totalitarian agenda in lockstep. No, it’s not ideal, but that’s what you’re working with.

Yes, a functional democracy is supposed to have checks and balances but when those fail, it is the citizens who have to step up where they can. This is what you'll have to do today in Georgia.

Will Warnock do everything he promises? Probably not, but that’s OK. It’s better than the alternative, which is opening the floodgates to insurrectionists and so on.

There’s always something more, isn’t there.

The next couple of elections are more focused on “America Remains a Democracy” or “America descends into Neo-Confederate Hell”. That’s how I sum it up. Democrats are the party of the former, Republicans are mostly of the latter with a few exceptions that are extraordinarily rare (and most have been pushed out or are actively being pushed out).

There’s a lot here but I think there should be enough information out there to convince you WHY this is important. And it’s not just for millennials (Gen Y and Gen Z) but also for everyone else, because anyone living in America (and actually most of the rest of the world) WILL be impacted by this election as by all others down the line.

Go vote.

Will

[glitterfairy-21225]

In which Peter has a child while stuck in the mcu: *takes deep breath*

He’s definitely living with Wanda post WV, so she’s there.

I don’t know a lot about inhumans but I know a little. Maybe Crystal is on earth for some reason, or the royal family just invites Wanda to the moon after learning about Westview b/c they want the tea, I guess. But Crystal and Peter meet.

They don’t get married, they don’t even officially date, so when Crystal announces she’s pregnant literally everyone is blindsided.

Wanda’s reaction is the best. She doesn’t say anything, but it’s her facial expressions as this is all going down. Her facial expressions.

Peter panics. Obviously. He runs around frantically with no rhyme or reason. He trashed his room. He’s screaming at a pitch only Crystal’s giant dog can hear.

He confides in Wanda about his piles of daddy issues, compounded by the fact that he never told his father the truth.... And also the fact that he was a terrorist.

But now it’s like, what happens if he goes back to his universe. He doesn’t want to to be an absentee father.

So he makes a difficult decision to stay in the mcu for the child. He still wants to go back to the x men to make sure his friends and family know he’s okay, but he wants to stay with his kid.

In the wake of his decision, Peter is high on emotion and decides that he needs to go the extra mile for this fatherhood schtick.

So he and Crystal elope.

Literally. Everyone. Thinks. This. Is. Questionable.

They’re divorced before she gives birth.

Not even a bitter divorce, just a ‘Ok, marriage at this point was probably a mistake.....’ divorce.

He and Wanda binge watch kids movies that came out from after he was taken from the x men.

Labor time!

Peter’s definitely a ping-pong whatever. When Crystal cries, he cries. When she screams, he screams.

But then Luna is born and she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in his life, and he just can’t. He’s crying on his own behalf.

Crystal holds her first, and then Peter, and the first thing he says to her is with teary eyes, so loving, so tenderly, is ‘You are gonna piss so many people off,’ in the softest voice you can imagine.

When the rest of the family comes in to meet her, Peter turns on the Lion King music, which he saw in the binge, and holds her up.

Wanda gets to hold her next, and Peter’s all ‘Meet your Aunt Wanda, Luna!’ And it’s a moment, because yeah, Tommy and Billy called him uncle, and he’s made it clear he loves them as such, but that was when he was brainwashed, so this. This is such a moment for Wanda.

And Wanda misses her boys so much, but the amount of love she feels for this girl overwhelms her bad she really believes she’s not alone anymore.

Afterwards, the three of them (Peter, Wanda, and Luna) are all curled up on a hospital bed together. Like they would be if Peter was the one who gave birth, but instead they just stole a bed to cuddle on because they’re emotionally drained.

Crystal is giving them the side eye from the other bed like, *guys it’s my special day too.*

Peter looks down at his bundle of joy and decides to make a speech to her.

He takes a deep breath. ‘Luna Maximoff’ (‘We did not discuss last names, Peter!’) ‘Your father is.... the problem in every relationship he has ever had. Except for the ones with people who are bigots, those guys suck. And he’s gonna be problem in ours. But I promise you, even if I make a million mistakes, and I will, I will try my very best to make sure you are the one person in this family who’s life isn’t made up of one traumatic experience after the other. Because you are the love and light of my life.’

Awwww.

Oh and Wanda definitely has a himym moment where she looks back all the stupid stuff Peter has done and thinks, ‘That guys a dad now.’

Except her flashback was from that morning.

Of course, that doesn’t get rid of all his deep emotional baggage. And he’s so worried about messing Luna up that he’s a complete motherhen.

He rants to Wanda, ‘Let’s face it, you and I are both going to hell,’ Because even if he loves Wanda, he’s not gonna excuse what she did to Westview, and for himself he has self esteem issues. So Wanda is :000. But Peter just continues. ‘But I really don’t want that for her!’

Anyways, Wanda starts hearing her kids and that kicks off their next big adventure, with Peter reluctantly leaving Luna with her mom.

He writes her a final letter in case he dies so she knows he loves her very much. But don’t worry, Peter’s not gonna die, so this is just a character quirk for now. It’s always quirky until someone dies.

I know that the ‘X men see WandaVision broadcast’ thing should logically stop after episode seven, but for this we’re gonna say the broadcast showed the entire, actual show, with all the SWORD and Agatha stuff. And then it starts playing Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness! And there’s a flashback to Luna’s birth.

It’s been a few years, and the x men have already had a funeral for him, so seeing this is..... wow.

Raven’s long since spilled the beans to Erik about his son, and he’s not been taking it well.

So seeing that his son is not only alive and well, but that he also has a granddaughter, (and maybe even an au daughter) makes him cry in front of everyone.

Also, maybe the team was just a bit unappreciative of him, not enough for us to bash them, but enough to make them feel guilty. So seeing him thriving without them stirs up some emotions.

Also maybe he has an ex on the team, and it ended because Peter’s bad at handling things. For maximum feels.

They know from the broadcast that Peter plans to stay in the mcu with his daughter and that makes them all sad, but it’s a really good reason and they’re almost all sensible enough to accept this.... After a proper goodbye of course.

We’ll get back to Erik’s feelings in a sec.

They make a portal, and all go to the mcu to help out in the final fight. They reunite with Peter, who runs to get Luna, even though she’s not on earth, so that they can all meet her.

Erik holds Luna and goes ‘You will lead millions! Willingly or as slaves.’

It reminds him of holding Nina and he wishes he held Peter and it’s so special.

They say their goodbyes.

Meanwhile, Erik is conflicted, because his child (children) is staying in alternate universe and this is where his granddaughter is, so if he can’t convince them to come back to the x men verse then maybe the best thing he can do is move to the mcu.

But Charles a school to look after, so that leads a horrible question; Will Cherik have to break up again?

Doctor Strange just rolls his eyes and says fuck it, because reality is already messed up so why not? And he gives the Maximoffs a key to crossover whenever they want. And it only works for them.

So Luna has all the inhumans and all the x men loving her so much, with the best dad, aunt, and grandpas in both worlds.

And of course with the coolest cousins a girl could ask for!

[amispnrewatch]

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

[delta-roseblr]

Ficlet for your reading pleasure

Look at me posting a prompt (that really wasn’t a direct prompt but lets not focus on that) in the first time in a while! I’m proud of me!

Hope you enjoy!

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"Where is this place again?" Felix asked as he made what felt like his one-hundredth right turn. They were going in circles, not that Felix was going to admit that. All the streets just looked too similar, and Felix wasn't familiar enough with Nashville to have any idea where he was going.

"It's off Church," Kyle answered as he sat forward in the backseat of Felix's jeep so Felix could see him in his rearview mirror. He and pretty much nothing else. He kept fucking talking about Church Street like Felix knew where the fuck that was. If it was Burlington, Felix could have drawn a map of Church Street from god-damned memory, but he really knew next to fucking nothing about Nashville. He had told Kyle multiple times, but he still just kept talking about fucking Church Street. Kyle held his arm out in the space between the driver and front passenger seat and gestured at the darkened street in front of them as he added, "I think you go two more blocks and then take a left."

"It's three blocks, and you need to take a right if we want to find parking," Dean declared from the passenger's seat as he looked up from his phone. The fact that it had taken this long for Dean to chime in was surprising. Dean had actually pitched a fit when Felix had said he would be the one driving that night. Since Leonard thought Felix was studying at Kyle's and had no idea Dean was home from college yet, and he definitely didn't know they were going to a gay bar, it made the most sense. Also, Felix would never say it to Dean because he loved his car so much, but the old Honda was just filled with the weirdest mix of unpleasant smells, and even after the engine was rebuilt, it still made strange fucking noises like it was ready to fucking die. Felix appreciated Dean's car, especially when it was the only car they had access to, but now Felix had his jeep. His jeep was an old piece of shit, too, but it just wasn't quite as old or quite as shitty as Dean's POS.

From the corner of his eye, Felix saw Dean slip his phone into the pocket of his jeans before bringing his full attention to the road. "And I won't point out how much easier this would have been if you had just let me drive," he commented.

It was dark, but the streetlights lit up the inside of the cab, and Felix could see the little satisfied smirk playing on Dean's lips. He thought he had won something which should have been annoying, but it was just kind of cute. Dean had really been away for too long.

They came to a stop at a streetlight, and Felix took advantage of the moment. He turned to look at his boyfriend. He was all blond hair and warm skin as always. "Dean," he said his name sweetly but also with a warning, "Unless you've figured out how to suck your own dick, you should probably stop fucking talking."

"I retract my previous statement," Dean stated seriously. Of course, it was Dean, and he was just as bold as he always was, so he reached out and brought a hand to rest on Felix's thigh. It wasn't so high, but it was high enough to up Felix's heartbeat a little. "Your driving and understanding of the city of Nashville is amazing, and I really can't complain," he stated with a bright smile.

"You two are so cute," Kyle faked cooed from the backseat before adding (mockingly), "I think I'm going to puke."

Eventually, they found the bar, found a place to park, and then made their way to the bar. It might have just been because Felix was comparing it to Burlington but getting into the place was beyond easy.

Once inside, they found a pretty thin crowd, but Felix didn't expect much more for the time of year. They had managed to hit that sweet spot where most of the younger people that came to the club were probably already tangled up in family holiday stuff, but most of the college kids hadn't returned home yet.

They were just a few feet into the place when they all collectively decided to stop and look around. To be honest, it was pretty much what Felix expected for a gay bar on the outskirts of Nashville, so it was pretty much par for the course, but other people clearly felt differently.

"This isn't….what I had been expecting," Kyle admitted sounding more disappointed with each word.

"What were you expecting?" Felix questioned. He sounded annoyed, which was because absolutely was, and yeah, he knew that made him an asshole, but this had been Kyle's idea. Not only had it been Kyle's idea, but Kyle had asked Dean after Felix had said no. He didn't go as far as to ask Dean behind Felix's back at least and asked Dean about it right in front of Felix. Much to Felix's surprise, his boyfriend that had also expressed a dislike of bars, immediately said yes. Felix was fucking shit at telling Dean no, so he was fucking stuck going, and both he and Kyle knew it. So Felix didn't care if the place was a little on the dingy side. He didn't care that the lighting managed to be both too bright and too dark at the same time. Felix didn't even care that the music playing overhead sounded more like static than anything else. He expected Kyle to be his typically overly excited self. "Pride flags and a rainbow-colored bar?"

"I was expecting to get ID'd at the door," Dean admitted. His voice was carefully neutral, and one look Felix found his expression matched his tone, but his eyes were scanning the room critically. Felix knew Dean well enough to know that this place was dive bar enough to bring up some daddy issues, not that Dean would say anything or suggest they leave. No, Dean would suffer silently.

"This is supposed to be an under 21 bar," Kyle informed quickly and matter-of-factly. Felix was half surprised Kyle didn't start reading the place's description from the website from memory. Felix was sure he could have because Kyle had been internet stalked the place for a while. Apparently, the website painted a different picture than what reality had to provide, and the shock was clear on Kyle's face. "And I don't know what I was expecting really," Kyle offered, and to his credit, he was obviously trying to hide his disappointment, and he mostly succeeded with his neutral tone. It was his face that gave him away. "I at least expected half the people here to be around our age."

"Yeah," Felix agreed with an unnecessary look around the place. "For a bar that is supposed to include people under 21, a lot of the people here look to be over forty," he pointed out. Really, it would have been impossible not to notice even if the place was hopping, but since it was moderately busy at the moment, so it stood out. Felix saw more guys that looked like they might hang out with his dad instead of kids around his age. He guessed divorced middle-aged men embracing the gayness they had been suppressing for years needed to get out too, but it was weird that they were choosing an under-21 bar when Nashville has several more traditional gay bars.

For the briefest of moments, Felix had a little bit of hope that the difference between Kyle's expectations and reality would be enough to make Kyle want to leave. They could get pizza or something. That hope died almost the moment it was born. It was almost like someone snapped their fingers, and Kyle got over his disappointment and shifted back to being excited, even if it was a bit more tempered now.

Kyle turned to him with a fucking smile on his face and asked, "Do we find a table?"

"I guess," Felix conceded with a sigh. He wasn't surprised, but he was disappointed that he wasn't going to get to escape. "Dean?" he questioned and got no reply. "Dean!?"

He looked to Dean just in time to see him looking up from his phone with a confused and bewildered expression. "Sorry, what?"

"We are going to find a table if you can look away from your phone," Felix informed with mostly fake annoyance.

"Yeah, sorry I was trying to translate this text message from Nico," Dean explained, which made sense even before he added, "For a guy that speaks several languages he can't spell in any of them" He shifted his phone so he was holding it in one hand and moved to put it in his back pocket before commenting, "But we should definitely find a table."

Felix would have fucking sworn he felt every ounce of positive drain from Kyle, so it wasn't a fucking surprise that when Felix looked at the guy, he looked tense, and his expression was carefully stony. "So Will is bringing the boyfriend?" he asked in a painfully neutral tone.

"Oh no," Felix exclaimed. He wasn't buying Kyle's attempts at neutrally, mainly because they were shitty attempts. If anyone could understand having an inconvenient, inappropriate crush, Felix liked Kyle too much to watch him continue to do this to himself. Felix had grown to think of Will in a somewhat positive way which was a journey, but he still didn't think of him as much in the way of dating material. Still, that wasn't why he was so bothered by the fact that Kyle couldn't let that crush go. It was never going to fucking happen, which was why it bothered Felix. Will was the most unavailable person on the fucking planet. He and Nico were practically fucking married, for fuck sake. Even if that wasn't the case, Will came with a load of baggage in the way of demigod shit. Kyle, of course, didn't know about that, but Felix fucking did, and he didn't think Kyle needed or would want any of that fucking drama. Fuck had Felix been trying to get Kyle to see the fucking light and shift his interest to someone more appropriate, even if at times it felt like he was banging his head against a wall. Felix didn't have any fucking desire to once again go through all that shit with Kyle, so he just shook his head insistently as he stated, "We're not doing that tonight."

"What!?!" Kyle questioned, but he sounded too outraged for Felix to believe for one second that he didn't know exactly what Felix was talking about, "I asked a question."

"No, you're starting to pine over a self-absorbed ass," Felix summarized indigently. In truth, Felix knew now that Will was pretty far from self-absorbed. Still, he did come with abandonment issues from like a dozen siblings dying in battles and a need for attention that came from having a fuck ton of siblings because Apollo is a fucking whore of a god. Calling Will self-absorbed was just easier, and maybe it was a little be of a reflex still. "Have some self-respect and standards."

Kyle huffed and rolled his eyes dramatically. "A smart, funny, attractive, blond, soccer play," Kyle declared with a heavily sarcastic tone. "No way you could get that attraction," he made a show of looking pointed toward Felix before turning and smiling toward Dean, "Oh, hi Dean! I forgot you were right there."

"That is totally different, and I resent the comparison," Felix growled as he pointed his finger aggressively toward Kyle, "There are plenty of age-appropriate guys around here. We will find you a better one that is available." So plenty might have been a bit of an exaggeration, but the point remained valid. "Now, let's go find a fucking table, so I can see if this bartender won't look too hard at my fake ID."

Surprisingly, the argument or discussion or whatever ended there, at least for the moment. They made their way through the bar's crowd with ease and found a large table that wasn't so far away from the bar that getting drinks would be annoying but not so close that they had to be worried about being overheard by the bartender. They still had the leering older men wondering the place to deal with, but Felix got a general impression that there was no escaping that.

There was some discussion about not wanting to lose their table even though Felix thought the likelihood of that was slim. Kyle suggested waiting until Will arrived (and made no mention of Nico) so there would be someone to watch their table. Felix wasn't exactly sure what Kyle was thinking with that one, but in the end, it didn't matter because Dean reminded him that he didn't have a fake ID so he could stay at the table while Felix bought his drink. Dean suggesting Felix buy anything was a surprise but not a bad one.

"How don't you have a fake ID?" Kyle ended up asking Dean with bewilderment, "You're in college."

Felix had asked the same question the first time Dean mentioned he didn't have a fake ID, although Felix's shock had been he had been in high school without one. The general feel of the question was the same, though. Of course, when Felix had first brought it up, he and Dean weren't dating yet, so he didn't know the details of Dean's home life. Now that he had that knowledge, it all made sense, but at the time, it seemed absurd.

Dean's response to Kyle was almost identical to the reaction Felix had gotten almost two years earlier. He shrugged casually as he replied, "I've never needed one."

Kyle sputtered for a second before reiterating, "But you're in college."

Dean's only reply was to shrug again. Dean wasn't going to explain that he always had unfettered access to alcohol if he wanted it, so something like a fake ID didn't make sense to him. He certainly wasn't going to waste his money on one.

"All the people he hangs out with are older," Felix interjected so they could move on. He patted Dean on the shoulder, ignoring the fact that he had to get up on his toes a little to do it so and gave him a sarcastic smile, "Don't worry, I've got you covered, College Boy."

Dean smirked back at him as he replied dryly, "My hero."

One playful eye roll, and then Felix was off to the bar with Kyle in tow. Considering the place wasn't that crowded, the bar itself was pretty busy. Felix blamed all the old dudes for that. Whatever the reason, he and Kyle ended up standing at the bar waiting for the bartender to notice their existence for a while.

As they waited, Felix pulled on his wallet and dug through the variety of cards and other random shit he had shoved in there to find his fake ID slide behind a stack of used gift cards. It wasn't the most obvious spot to keep it, but it wasn't exactly well hidden either. He was surprised his dad hadn't found it by now. After Leonard had found out about Dean, he had search everything Felix own on more than one occasion.

"Won't the out-of-state ID draw more attention?" Kyle asked as he leaned over Felix's shoulder.

"Don't know," Felix admitted with a shrug as he looked down at the fake Vermont license, "But I guess we'll see." Honestly, if anything was going to be a problem, according to the ID, Felix was almost twenty-six years old. Hopefully, the bartender wasn't too good at mental math because there was no way Felix looked that old.

Felix actually got a little worried when the bartender finally made his way toward them because the guy looked annoyed, but then it became clear that some middle-aged dude was trying to hit on the guy from the other end of the bar. As soon as he was away from that, he cheered right up, took their drink orders, barely looked at their ID's and started on their drinks.

Felix had ordered two beers for himself and Dean while Kyle had ordered some mixed drink, so Felix was handed his beers first and headed back to the table while Kyle remained behind. When he got back to the table, he found that Will and Nico had arrived, and they had apparently brought a third.

"Hey, Cecil," Felix greeted as he deposited one beer in front of Dean before taking a seat. "Wasn't expecting to see you."

Felix liked Cecil, at least for the little he actually interacted with the guy when he was at camp. He was glad he was there if for no other reason then it made it so it wouldn't be two couples and Kyle the whole night. Still, the guy hanging out at a gay bar seemed at least slightly risky if he was still trying to keep quiet about actually being gay thing, not that Felix was going to mention that.

Cecil shrugged, and he might have even had something to say, but Dean interrupted him by tapping Felix's shoulder and catching his attention before Cecil got a chance. "Where's Kyle?" he asked as he looked over Felix's head as if he was still looking.

"Waiting for his drink."

"And you left him!?!" Will questioned with absolute shock.

That was the type of reaction that had made Felix not like Will at first. Okay, it was one of the many things that had made Felix not like Will at first. The guy could just be so dramatic and over the fucking top about small shit. And yeah, Felix now sort of got why but that didn't make it any less annoying at the moment.

"He's a big fucking boy," Felix assured dismissively, "He can take care of himself."

Felix picked up his beer and took a long sip before turning back to Cecil, "What brings you to boring as fuck Tennessee."

"Hey!" Dean protested.

Felix didn't bother to turn to look at Dean, but he did reach out and patted his cheek dismissively. "I love you, but I hate this boring as fuck state, accept it."

Cecil chuckled at their interaction. Felix guessed, even though that was pretty much par for the course for them. "Will and Nico invited me to Thanksgiving," he explained.

"Cool," Felix replied with a nod even though he wasn't sure about that. Camp Half-Blood had pretty good food, and Felix would imagine that they put out an impressive spread for the holidays. Maybe it was depressing to hang out when many campers were away for the school year to spend with their families. Everyone needed a change of scenery every once and a while. At least he wouldn't be missing out on some damn good food because Dean's aunt was a fucking incredible cook.

A surprisingly loud buzzing sound began coming from his pocket, and Felix pulled out his phone, half-convinced it would be a message from his dad saying he had to go home because that would be a very fucking Leonard thing to do. Luckily, it was just a text message from Kyle, even though Felix couldn't think of why Kyle would have to text him when they were literally in the same fucking place.

OMG, come to the bar, NOW!

Felix had no fucking clue what that was about, but he didn't see how he got out of it, so he guessed he was going to have to go back to the bar. "Um, alright," he declared with a heavy sigh as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. "I'll be right back," he informed before hopping off his seat.

He only had to walk about halfway back to the bar to find Kyle standing with his drink in hand, half-hidden behind a wall craning his neck as he stared in the direction of their table. Felix had to admit that wasn't what he had been expecting, and he had no fucking idea what it meant.

"Alright, you got a drink, so now I'm confused," He admitted as he pointed to the drink in Kyle's hand, "Why did I have to come over here?"

Kyle looked at Felix for maybe a second before glancing first at his drink, and then he was back to trying to see their table through the crowd. "Who's the mysterious handsome with Will?" he asked instead of acknowledging Felix's question at all.

Felix looked back toward their table with confusion. He seriously didn't know who the fuck Kyle was talking about. "You've met Nico before," he reminded because that was the only thing that made sense even though it only barely did.

Kyle turned and glared at Felix like he was an absolute idiot. "You are such a fucking ass," he responded with more contempt than Felix had ever heard from Kyle before. "I have zero interest in Will's punk rock underwear model boyfriend, thank you very much."

Every once in and while, Kyle would insist that he wasn't bothered by the fact that Will was dating someone and that he was totally over his crush, and then there were moments like this where it was painfully apparent that neither of those things was true. Felix felt bad for Kyle and was impressed that he managed to make "underwear model" sound like an insult.

Kyle didn't want Felix's sympathy, and he wouldn't appreciate him pointing out that Will and Nico were a great couple either. So Felix just rolled his eyes as he commented sarcastically, "And you're not bitter at all."

Kyle just ignored him and huffed, "The cute guy with the curls."

"Who?" Felix questioned before looking back toward the table again. There was only one person there with curls, but Kyle couldn't have been talking about him, right? "Cecil?"

"That's even a cute name!" Kyle cooed.

What the fuck was happening? Felix thought to himself.

"No, it fucking isn't," Felix replied with absolute bewilderment. Felix liked Cecil but considering the guy wasn't a ninety-year-old man. His name didn't fit him at all. And since when did anyone comment on another person's name being cute?

Kyle glared at him again, which was really starting to feel like a weird turnaround in their friendship. "Who is he?" Kyle questioned. He didn't wait for Felix to answer. Instead, Kyle turned, so he looked back at the table again as he continued to ask questions. "Is he single? Is he gay?" Kyle's eyes lit up, and he turned to look at Felix again, "Please tell me he's gay!"

Of all the things Felix had expected to happen that night, he could honestly say Kyle finding a new crush, at first sight, wasn't one of them. He didn't know how he felt about it either. He was all for Kyle moving on from the idea of Will because that was never going to happen, and Kyle was a cool enough guy and deserved to be happy, but another fucking demigod, really? That was not something Kyle wanted to get dragged into. The guy was fucking attracted to trouble, and he didn't even fucking know it. The worse thing about it, Felix knew exactly why Kyle shouldn't get his hopes up, but he couldn't say shit about it.

"Oh my god," Felix groaned and rolled his eyes, "You are fucking hopeless." Hopefully, Kyle would take that statement to mean that Cecil was straight and would just let it go. "Come on, I'll introduce you," he stated and waved for him to follow.

They walked back to the table. At some point, Kyle ended up a few steps behind him like he was fucking hiding or something, which was especially dumb because Kyle was the same height as Dean, so he was at least a head taller than Felix.

"Hey, what did we miss?" Felix questioned as he went right back to his seat next to Dean. That, of course, was the moment he realized that the only empty chair left was between himself and Cecil. That was inconvenient but not nearly as annoying as Kyle sharply poking him in the back the moment Felix had sat down. The point was taken, so Felix gestured to Kyle to do the whole introduction thing. "Oh yeah, this is Kyle," Felix then gestured around the table without much enthusiasm as he continued, "You've met Nico and know Will, and that's Will's friend Cecil."

"Hey," Kyle greeted with a bit of wave and a smile. Of course, he seemed to look at Will and Cecil and completely ignored Nico's very existence. Baby steps, Felix guessed.

There were waves and a few greetings. Nico might have seemed a little less enthused, which was kind of funny. Felix remembered hearing some vague story about Nico putting a skeleton in some guy's bed because he showed an interest in Will. Maybe that was what Kyle needed.

"Again, sorry we took so long," Will offered, apparently unaware of Nico's subtle disapproval of Kyle's presence. "We had kind of a hard time finding a place to park."

"They were arguing about Will's driving and kept driving past parking spots," Cecil informed with a smirk.

It was an amusing thought. Felix had never really seen the two bicker before. Usually, they were too busy being all over each other to do things like that. Felix didn't get to enjoy his amusement long because Kyle had to chime in. "These two did that too!" he exclaimed with far too much excitement as he pointed at Dean and Felix. The pointing especially seemed unnecessary, considering it was obvious who he was talking about.

Nico smirked slightly in a way Felix guessed was sort of mysterious. He didn't see it personally, but that didn't really matter. "That doesn't surprise me," he commented knowingly.

"We don't bicker…like….at all," Felix defended, and it was the truth. He and Dean could easily break into lively debates over absolutely meaningless shit, and Felix was pretty sure most of the time they both dug down on their side to drag it out, but that wasn't bickering. Hell, at times, that was practically fucking foreplay. Felix couldn't see how it could be mistaken for actual fighting.

"Oh, I know," Nico admitted, "It's just in my limited experience Dean's driving is…interesting."

"Bad," Will interjected, "Dean's driving is bad."

"You didn't complain when I drove you to school every day," Dean commented even though he didn't have the heat behind his words for them to have any real impact.

Nico seemed to ignore Dean and Will's little exchange and focused his attention on Felix as he continued, "And you have a tendency to be….vocal."

Felix really didn't know how to take that. If it were anyone else, he would have probably taken offense, but with Nico, he just couldn't. Nico wasn't the type to sling insults, or at least that Felix was aware. So he was at a complete loss, and if it had been a year earlier, Felix would have covered his bewilderment with some comment that would have come out way more hostile than he meant it to be, but Felix was really fucking trying to be better than that. Instead, he tried to make a joke out of it by turning to Dean with a fake look of outrage and questioning, "Did your cousin just call me a screamer?"

"I don't think so," Dean replied, although he didn't sound as certain as he probably should have, "But I could see how it could sound that way."

"Well, are you?" Kyle questioned with a laugh in his voice and a smirk on his face before Felix could even think of something else to say.

Felix wasn't overly loud in bed. Of that, Felix was sure. Actually, Dean was louder, at least when he bottomed, and even then, Felix wouldn't call Dean a screamer. There was no way Felix was explaining any of that to Kyle, and Kyle knew it. That was probably why he asked, to get a bit of a rise out of him.

Felix responded with a glare that, in reality, didn't have as much heat behind it as it would have it was anyone else that asked.

Dean missed the memo about not answering questions about their sex life because he gave it a moment's thought before answering, "Not normally."

Felix actually wouldn't have cared if he could have been classified as a screamer. All that would mean was he was vocal while enjoying sex. Sex was amazing, so why shouldn't he be vocal about it? Also, he knew he loved it when Dean got loud during sex because it usually meant he was losing his damn mind from the fucking pleasure, and that was sexy as fuck. That didn't stop him from giving Dean a 'What the hell man?' look. If nothing else, it gave Felix something to tease Dean about later, which was always fun.

Nico chuckled, and it was hard to tell if it was from amusement or nerves. It could have been both. "I just meant you don't seem to be shy about giving your opinion," he offered.

It was really fucking hard to take anything Nico said as offensive, but Felix was pretty sure if anyone else said that to him, he would have been bothered. "I guess," he muttered in reluctant agreement.

"Yeah, that's very true," Dean agreed, maybe a little more enthusiastically than was really warranted, at least in Felix's opinion, "Also, irrelevant because I wasn't the one driving."

"Oh," Nico exclaimed with obvious surprise, "I retract my previous statement then. What were you arguing about then?"

"Parking," Felix answered.

Kyle hissed like he had something to say about that, but Felix shot him a look because he really didn't need Kyle offering his opinion on the matter. That was enough for Kyle to think better of it. "Well, parking was definitely part of it."

Dean was smart enough to remain silent on the topic, and Kyle already seemed to be distracted by making eyes at Cecil (and Cecil seemed more into that than Felix would have liked). Felix guessed it was better than Kyle just spending the night openly ogling Will, so he let it go for the moment being.

Nico was quick to offer a change of topic. "Is someone going to come to take our order?" he asked as he looked around expectant.

Considering what Nico looked like and what he did for a living, Felix imagined he usually didn't even have to order a drink at a bar. People probably just brought him drinks in hopes that he would acknowledge their existence. Nico did seem like a down-to-earth guy, so Felix figured he wouldn't expect something like that, but he was probably just used to that sort of thing.

"This isn't Gladiators," Will reminded, "I think we have to go to the bar."

Not entirely surprising, Nico looked confused by the idea, which confirmed what Felix had suspected. He was a smart guy, so Felix was pretty sure he would figure it out. Besides, there was still a chance someone would present him with a drink in the hopes of getting a chance to bang an underwear model before he ever made it to the bar.

"The bartender barely looks at your ID, so it isn't a big deal," Kyle assured.

Good for him, Felix thought. He could tell Kyle was trying to be nice even though he disliked Nico at least a little for the simple fact that Will and Nico were dating.

"Perfect," Cecil declared as he pulled a wallet out of his pocket and dropped it on the table before moving to another pocket and producing another wallet. Cecil made at least half a dozen wallets from various places on his person appear in a matter of thirty seconds. "Let's see what I have to work with."

Cecil started flipping through the wallets in front of them in a way that made it very clear that he had some experience with that sort of thing. That reminded Felix that Cecil was the child of Hermes, and Hermes is the god of thieves. He wasn't sure if he should be horrified or amused by what he was seeing.

The look on Kyle's face was definitely tipping it more into the amusing category. He was clearly fluctuating between absolute shock and confusion, and his expressions were so extremely exaggerated it reminded Felix of a cartoon.

To Kyle's credit, he didn't stay silent, but that wasn't surprising. Kyle usually didn't have a problem speaking his mind. "Um…." Kyle hummed and then pointed toward the pile of wallets on the table, "Are all of those your wallets?"

Kyle continued to flip through the wallets, pulling out IDs and credit cards as he did. "Well, I mean, they are in my possession now," he offered. Pausing briefly after tossing one of the IDs aside, and looked up just a little in Kyle's direction. Felix thought he saw the smallest of flirtatious smiles spread across Cecil's face directed toward Kyle, but that couldn't have the case. "And you know what they say about that," he offered.

So stolen. That was pretty much what Felix had figured. Even if he didn't know Cecil was the demigod child of the god of thieves, it was more than evident. Will apparently wasn't so quick on the uptake because he sounded genuinely outraged when he shouted disapprovingly, "Cecil!"

"You know I can pay for everything, right?" Nico offered without clearly as much shock and outrage in his voice.

"That isn't the point," Cecil returned as he tossed the last of the wallets aside. He looked up and seemed to talk more to Will than anyone else even though he had a captive audience in Kyle from its looks. "It's about the challenge, and the guys around here are not much of a challenge."

"It's a gay bar," Felix reminded as he tried to contain a laugh, "Most guys are expecting a little fucking groping." That wasn't true for Felix, at least not in the sense of a stranger. Now Dean was another fucking story, and hopefully, that was how the night would end. But there were plenty of guys in the bar, and Felix had his money on the vast majority looking to hook up.

Next to him, Felix heard Dean laugh. "He isn't wrong," he admitted.

Cecil just shrugged unapologetically, "That doesn't mean they shouldn't mind their wallets."

Felix was fucking flashing forward to when Will and Nico had kids because the look of disappointment and disapproval on Will's face reminded Felix of disapproving parent. "That isn't a valid excuse for pickpocketing strangers," Will reprimanded.

"Don't worry, no one noticed," Cecil assured like that was the problem, the getting caught part and not the actual pickpocketing part. Felix almost laughed at Cecil's bravado. The thing was, Felix's dad thought he was studying at Kyle's, and if he found out Felix was really at a gay bar with Dean, Felix would be grounded for a fucking eternity. So if Cecil got caught pickpocketing people, that could present some problems. Cecil clearly didn't see the issue as he smiled brightly. "I'm very good," he stated with confidence.

Will's brain had apparently broke at some point because his only response was to stare at Cecil slack-jawed. Felix would think since Will and Cecil had been friends for a while, Will wouldn't have been so surprised. He got the feeling this was pretty standard for Cecil. Nico at least didn't seem overly surprised or worried about it. If anything, he seemed sort of amused by the whole thing, but it could be hard to tell with Nico.

"I'm going to get a drink," Nico declared as he hopped down from his chair. He looked between Will and Cecil briefly before asking, "Do you both just want a beer?"

"Sure," Cecil replied as he started to tuck away the various wallets he had collected into his pockets, "Thanks, Nico."

"Um, I guess," Will muttered uncertainly. Felix was pretty sure Will was just still too distracted by Cecil's kleptomania because it was seriously out of his character for him not to jump up to follow Nico around immediately.

You would think that Will simply refraining from following Nico around like a lovesick puppy would have been enough for Kyle but not. At least some part of his horny teenage brain viewed Nico as competition or at the very least as something close to an advisory which was just incredibly stupid, to say the least. Kyle decided that was the moment to get what seemed like it was meant as a dig. "Do you even have a fake ID?" Kyle asked Nico with almost a disgusting amount of doubt.

"No," Nico replied, "But I don't foresee that being a problem."

No one in their right fucking mind would look at Nico and believe he was twenty-one; of that, Felix was fucking sure. That didn't mean he didn't think Nico was probably right about his lack of an ID not being a problem. Not only was Nico good-looking, which seemed to go a pretty far way, but he also had a 'Don't fuck with me or else' vibe that was pretty fucking hard to argue with. Felix would bet the bartender wouldn't even bother to ask Nico for an ID.

Kyle at least had the common sense not to push the topic further, which satisfied Nico greatly if the glint in his eye and the slight grin that spread across his face was any indication. It wasn't an over-the-top expression by any means because it was fucking Nico. Felix was pretty sure the guy didn't know how to do over the top, or at least that kind of over the top. Even subtle, it was noticeable enough  

It probably didn't help that after giving Kyle a few seconds of his victory face, Will decided to jump into the conversation in full lovesick puppy mode. Felix got that Will was oblivious to Kyle's lingering crush on him even though he had been told on multiple occasions, but how he missed the little exchange between Kyle and Nico, Felix didn't fucking understand. He had most definitely missed it never the less.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Will asked Nico.

"I'm sure I can handle it on my own," Nico replied with a shrug, "But if you want to, I could use the extra pair of hands."

That was all Will needed to hear. He hopped out of his chair like a tiger from Winnie the Pooh or some shit. "Be right back," he declared quickly before trotting after Nico as he headed toward the bar.

They watched the two walk-offs for a few seconds before they were lost to the crowd. "Oh, codependence," Felix commented dryly in hopes of cutting off any of Kyle's potential pouting. "I'm so glad that isn't a family trait because I'm pretty sure I would murder you," he added with a humorless smile directed at Dean.

Felix wasn't actually all that worried about that sort of thing. He and Dean were pretty independent, so neither would take on the relationship's lost puppy role. Sure, between texting and phone calls, they probably talked for hours most days, and Dean had been trying to talk Felix into applying to Berkeley so they could be at the same school, but that was just….different.

Next to him, Felix heard Kyle snicker at that comment. He was fucking loud about it, so Felix wouldn't have been surprised if half the fucking bar heard. Felix couldn't help but turn to look at him, and the amused fucking grin on his face was just even more fucking confusion.

What the fuck did I miss?

Felix probably should have just let it go but hated feeling like everyone knew something he didn't. "What?" he asked as he stared at Kyle critically.

"Nothing," Kyle assured, but he sounded far too amused to be even remotely believed. Before Felix could push any further, Kyle had already turned his attention to Cecil and changed the subject. "Um, so Cecil, what brings you to Tennessee?" Kyle asked with a smile. He was clearly trying to be friendly, but it was over the top, so Felix found it awkward. It was also pretty out of character for Kyle. It was an interesting development, to say the least.

"Oh, Will invited me to Thanksgiving," Cecil answered with a bit of a shrug, "And Nico insisted. Saying no to Nico seems kind of …."

"Dangerous?" Felix offered without even thinking about it. Nico was actually really nice, but he was also scary as fuck. Felix wouldn't want to tell him no either.

Dean was less than a second behind with an equally valid suggestion, "Terrifying?"

"Yeah," Cecil agreed with a laugh, "Pretty much."

"So, you had no choice," Felix summed up. He paused to sip at his beer before adding, "Only legitimate reason to come to Tennessee."

"Hey!" Dean immediately protested, "I honestly don't know how to take that."

Felix looked at Dean to find him staring back, looking genuinely outraged. Maybe that should have made Felix feel at least a little guilty because of that, but honestly, he found it a little funny. He didn't actually laugh, but it was a close call. "You should be fine with it," he retorted. "I can hate the state I met you in and still love you," Felix explained matter-of-factly before taking another sip of his beer.

Dean's reaction was precisely what Felix had hoped for. He grinned from ear to ear. "You love me? Really?" Dean leaned over and made a real fucking show of kissing Felix on the cheek, "Because I definitely love you."

It wasn't like Felix wasn't used to Dean being affectionate. He wasn't used to Dean being so openly affectionate in such a large crowd, but around friends was normal enough. He still blushed at it, which officially killed any chance he had to even try to play it cool. That didn't mean he wasn't going to try, but it did mean he knew going in it wouldn't work.

"God, you've had like two sips of beer," Felix grumbled under his breath even as his cheeks continued to burn, "You can't be like this already."

"So," Cecil point at them while looking at Kyle, "They are just as bad as Will and Nico?"

"Um," Kyle hummed, still being a bit awkward about the whole thing, "I'm more used to these two, but yeah, they're pretty cutesy."

Felix swallowed down the urge to argue that by taking a large sip of his drink. Dean got kind of cutesy when he had a few drinks in him, but otherwise, they weren't like that at all. Besides the few affectionate gestures, they acted just like they did when they were just friends. He even got Kyle to admit that he claimed that didn't mean they weren't cutesy a few times. It wasn't worth arguing about, Felix was sure, so once he swallowed his drink, he went to change the topic. "Alright, Cee," Felix declared, "Why did Will drag to this great state for the great food holiday?" The state of Tennessee might have sucked by Will's mom was a fucking fantastic cook. In Felix's opinion, her cooking rivaled the food at Camp Half-Blood, so at least Cecil was in for a treat.

"Sympathy, I guess," Cecil replied with a shrug, "He's making a bigger deal over the breakup than either me or Lou are."

Felix opened his mouth to say without even thinking about the fact that he would be outing Cecil. Luckily Dean saved him from accidentally spilling the beans before Felix got a chance. "You guys broke up?" Dean questioned with great disappointment in his voice, "Sorry to hear that."

"It's cool," Cecil assured a little awkwardly before adding, "We are better friends."

Felix guessed that was one way to put it, considering that Cecil was gay. He guessed Cecil had finally worked up the nerve to end his fake relationship but not enough to tell people he was gay. Felix wasn't judging, but he figured pretending to be upset about a breakup would get old fucking fast.

"That's a positive attitude to have," Kyle chimed in, and suddenly the awkward energy he had just a few moments before was gone, and Kyle seemed way too excited to hear about Cecil's break.

Felix liked Kyle, but the boy was beyond fucking obvious. How anyone thought he was straight, Felix would never fucking understand. He also had horrible taste in guys. First, he spends years drooling over Will, and now he was getting hot and bothered over Cecil. Sure, Cecil was an improvement but still.

Cecil sort of smiled at Kyle, and it struck Felix that this might be a problem. Luckily Nico and Will decided that was the moment to reappear, drinks in hand, and they interrupted the whole thing before either Kyle or Cecil could attempt any awkward flirting that Felix would have to stop.

"We are back," Nico declared as he placed his drink on the table before pushing himself up into his chair.

"And we have drinks," Will declared from half a step behind Nico, holding up the two beers he was carrying as proof. He placed one beer in front of his seat before placing the other squarely in front of Cecil. "There was actually a guy about to send you a drink," Will told Cecil as he took his seat. He waved his hand in what Felix was sure was met to be a reassuring gesture as he added, "Don't worry, I told him you were straight."

Felix had to physically bite his tongue to stop himself from calling Will a cock block which made him wonder if this was going to be a problem. They were in a fucking gay bar, and Cecil wasn't a horrible-looking guy. If Will was going to keep help his friend out by explaining Cecil was straight, Felix didn't know if he would be able to take it. He was going to slip up and say something he shouldn't and outing Cecil like a fucking asshole.

Maybe he just had a lot of practice because he had to lie about all the demigod stuff, but Cecil did an impressive job of hiding any disappointment or frustration he might have been feeling. "Thanks," he replied. He wasn't exactly enthusiastic, but he didn't sound annoyed either.

"Um…..," Kyle hummed, which matched the confused look he was wearing quite well. His one finger in the air to signal he had a question was a bit much but to each their own.

"Lou is short for Lou Ellen," Dean offered quickly.

Kyle, unlike Cecil, did not school his emotions at all. The guy visibly deflated as he tried to cover (poorly) by saying, "Oh, that's an interesting name."

Felix had to admit that he did feel a little bad. Kyle was a cool enough guy, and he really shouldn't have to wait until college to date. But, at the same time, it really was for the best. Kyle did not need all that crazy demigod shit in his life. It was better for him just to think Cecil was straight than for Felix to have to play interference all night.

[liliesoftherain]

Masterlist

All works are my own, all rights reserved. Re-posting, modifying, copying, or translating(without proper permission), is not allowed. Don’t Plagiarize, just ask if you want to do something, have an idea, just ask. (picture found on google and edited, unsure of source, if you know base image let me know I’ll gladly give credit) Enjoy reading! 

Updated: Feb 19th, 2021

xReader 

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Katsuki Bakugou!:

i. My Hero Academia Main 3 Boys x Reader Masterlist:  You're finally getting to attend the school of your dreams, meeting great people along the way. You're ready to prove to everyone you have what it takes to become a pro hero. You're not looking for any love, but when does that stop it from finding you on it's own? Reader insert centered around 3 main boys, Todoroki, Bakugou, and Midoriya.

ii. A Knight’s Honor Masterlist: You’re a female squire, the only female training to be a Knight. You are not willing to give up your dreams of Knighthood to become a slave to society to save face. No matter what anyone says, you’ll prove them wrong. You’ll show him who he’s messing with.  !ON HIATUS!

iii. Bomber Jacket: Who knew that old bomber jacket of his would lead to this.

iv. “You’re cute when you’re angry”: Request, Prompt 53: “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

v. Something Witchy is going on: Request, Witch Quirk, Prompt 30: “It was you the whole time.”

vi. Something Witchy is Going on II Request, Witch Quirk, Prompts 25. “I got you a present” 41. “Why choose me?”

vii. Undrunk: Request, Older!Au, Prompts 32: “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you.” 30."It was you the whole time."

viii. Curly Hair is Captivating  Request, Bakugou won’t ever admit it but there’s something about you and that hair that drew him in

ix. Second Chances Masterlist: Request, When he watches you marry someone else, he knew he screwed up all those years ago. If only there was something he could do to get you back, if only there was a way... to have a second chance at being yours.

x. Thiccer than a Snicker Request, you may have a great body but that doesn’t mean you’re confident in showing it off, so you hide it. Your boyfriend lets you know that he doesn’t care either way what you wear

xi. For the Love of a Daughter Request, Bakugou loves your guys’ daughter beyond belief, and he never wants to see her hurt. Ever. But when push comes to shove, he’s left remembering every moment he’s ever cried.

xii. No Biggie Request, you’re just too chill and Bakugou is not. He freaks out, and you learned how to shut him up. 

xiii. No Biggie Part 2 Request, some headcanons for the dramatic katsuki and his nonchalant partner

xiv. What a Daddy’s Girl Request, this was just a regular morning for your family, with the fussing and glares; your little girl was way too much like her daddy. You loved them both anyway

xv. Who said pickup lines don’t work? Request, Prompts 52. “Can I kiss you right now?” 58. “Are you flirting with me?”

xvi. Say Uncle! Eijirou surely didn’t expect this when coming over to your place for dinner.

xvii. Still Remember-Bakugou POV Request, Part 2 of Still Remember, You still remember how it all happened, and so does Bakugou.

xviii. Ocean Eyes, or Something More? Pirate!AU, Commodore(officer)!Bakugou, Pirate!Fem!Reader, nothing will ever beat the view of your ocean blue, but why do his ruby eyes captivate you so?

xix. Persever Though Forsaken Soulmate!AU, you didn’t want your soulmate--did’t belive that there was such thing as a perfect match and it sucks because yours has been by your side for years

xx. Ground Zero Reads Thirst Tweets Collab, you and Katsuki are both Pro-Heroes, brought onto a film set to read some thirst tweets

xxi. YouTube Challenge! Request, youtube couple relationship, youtube couple challenges, prompts 18. “Have you lost your damn mind?” 43. “Why don’t you kiss me already?” 58. “Are you flirting with me?”

xxii. The Barbarian King Request, Katsuki want to marry you and the only issue? He has to beat you in a fight for you to even think about accpeting his hand

xxiii. It’s an Ordering in Kind of Night Request, Dad!Bakugou, Mom!Reader, bakugou and his brat have cute father/daughter bonding moment--to bad it went south as soon as you walked in, prompt 31 "This is why we can't have nice things"

xxiv. You Got That Right Request, cute cuddles with your boyfriend lead to more than you ever thought, prompts 21. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” 47. “Will you marry me?”

xxv. At What Cost? Sparked from a theory youtube video where it says Bakugou is the second holder of OFA, you were a hero... but at what cost?

xxvi. Trust Fall Maybe you took your trust fall exercise a little too far, but at least he didn’t let you fall

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Shoto Todoroki!:

i. Unsettling News: Request, Pro Hero AU!, Prompts 34: ”I feel like I can’t breathe.” 48: ”I’m pregnant.”

ii. Jealous Much?: Request, Prompts 20: “Wait a minute… Are you jealous?” 58: “Are you flirting with me?”  

iii. “I want an answer goddammit!”: Request, Pro Hero AU!, HC, Prompt 29: “I want an answer goddammit!”

iv.  My Hero Academia Main 3 Boys x Reader Masterlist: You're finally getting to attend the school of your dreams, meeting great people along the way. You're ready to prove to everyone you have what it takes to become a pro hero. You're not looking for any love, but when does that stop it from finding you on it's own? Reader insert centered around 3 main boys, Todoroki, Bakugou, and Midoriya.

v. Second Chances Masterlist: Request, When he watches you marry someone else, he knew he screwed up all those years ago. If only there was something he could do to get you back, if only there was a way... to have a second chance at being yours.

vi. Ice Skating Drabble: Request, ice skating scenario with shy s/o

vii.  YouTube Challenge! Request, youtube couple relationship, youtube couple challenges, Prompts 18. “Have you lost your damn mind?” 43. “Why don’t you kiss me already?” 58. “Are you flirting with me?”

vii. Selfish Request, you both want to be selfish, Prompts 1. “Is it possible to love too much?” 33. “I might never get another chance to say this.”

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Izuku Midoriya!:

i. I’m Home: Request, Pro Hero AU!, Prompts  36. “Here. You can have it back.” 52. “Can I kiss you right now?” 54. “We’d make such a cute couple.” 59. “Is that my shirt?”

ii. I’m Obsessed Based on the song ‘Fangs’ by Matt Champion. Izuku contemplates you and recalls the moment he fell in love.

iii. I’m Obsessed Part 2: Request, second part to ‘I’m Obsessed’, can be read alone, Prompt 52: “Can I kiss you right now?”

iv.  My Hero Academia Main 3 Boys x Reader Masterlist: You're finally getting to attend the school of your dreams, meeting great people along the way. You're ready to prove to everyone you have what it takes to become a pro hero. You're not looking for any love, but when does that stop it from finding you on it's own? Reader insert centered around 3 main boys, Todoroki, Bakugou, and Midoriya.

v.  Bittersweet Findings, in that Order Part 1: Request, prompt 20. “Wait a minute... Are you jealous?”

vi. Bittersweet Findings, in that Order Part 2: Request, prompt 20. “Wait a minute... Are you jealous?” 

vii. It’s Deku! Request, you’re a single mother raising twin boys, let’s see how that trip to the mall goes.

viii. Second Chances Masterlist: Request, When he watches you marry someone else, he knew he screwed up all those years ago. If only there was something he could do to get you back, if only there was a way... to have a second chance at being yours. 

ix. All in the Name of Pranks Request, Prompts 23. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while...” 24.”I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

x. Ice Skating Drabble: Request, ice skating scenario with shy s/o

xi. Not Stories After All Mermaid!Au, Adventure!Izuku, Mermaid!Reader, all Izuku wants to do is sketch and take note of the beautiful area around him--he didn’t expect to meet you 

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Denki Kaminari!:

i. “It’s not what it looks like...”: Request, HC, Prompt 26: “It’s not what it looks like...”

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Eijiro Kirishima!:

i. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”: Request, Prompt 53: “You’re cute when you’re angry”

ii. Never be the Same: Request, Prompts 4. “Look at me-just breath, okay?” 57. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

iii. Get Fuc-Cleated: Request, Kirishima fawns over his cute soccer player of a girlfriend, only to watch you get hurt during a game

iv.  YouTube Challenge! Request, youtube couple relationship, youtube couple challenges, Prompts 18. “Have you lost your damn mind?” 43. “Why don’t you kiss me already?” 58. “Are you flirting with me?”

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Hitoshi Shinsou!:

i. TikTok Queen Materlist: Social Media AU! You’re a normal barista but your heart longs for the title of the queen of TikTok. You post cutesy latte art that has given your channel a lot of followers over the years, but your roommate and friends have long since surpassed you and you are desperate to fix the gap. When your over energetic Tik Tok star of a friend offers you his help, you jump at the chance. Who knew that the challenge you did would get you THIS much attention-and why do you now have an bad boy who is no good for your health trying to force his way into your life? !ON HIATUS!

ii. A Little Lesson Request, Prompt 27. “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

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Dabi!:

i.  “I want an answer goddammit!”: Request, HC, Prompt 29: “I want an answer goddammit!”

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Shouta Aizawa!: 

i. Let it Out Request, HC, Prompt 4. “Look at me-just breathe, okay?” 

ii. His Kids Request, Dad!Aizawa, Daughter!Reader, father/daughter fluff, Aizawa takes you to school to meet the other kids he babysits all day

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Tenya Iida!:

i. Still Remember You still remember how it all happened, discord collab

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[heknewwhoyoureallyare]

In this world there is always two type of guys. An Alpha and a Beta. My name is Jimmy and I’m a beta. This is what I look like:

I have this friend, well sort of, we are roommates. His name is Alaric, Our lives are both miserable, but while I have normal people problems like having trouble loosing weight, having low self esteem, can’t get a girlfriend, have a low paying job which led to difficulties paying the bills, and I have no social life (because I spend to much time playing video games). My roommates have Alpha problems, like how to snatched away the company that his big brother has inherit from their father, how to destroy his competitions in his work field, and how to create his own personal brand in his social media account and gain more followers, which in all honesty he already have plenty of. Oooohhhh and he looks like this:

The only reasons that I said that we are sort of friends its because, it’s true that Alaric and I are roommate, and sometime we talked to each other, during dinner while watching televisions, (right before I go back to my video games). It’s because we couldn’t be anymore different from each other. I’m a nerd and he’s a jock. I came from a lower middle class family, and he’s an old money rich. I have confidence issue and he has to much confidence. I am a follower and he is a natural born leader. I am a good person and Alaric is well Evil. He doesn’t bully me or anything but the thing that he told me especially about the stuff that he do to the people that he hates is extremely shocking and twisted. This guy has everything that he needs and yet his heart is full of nothing but hatred and envy! His minds are full of plots and evil schemes. So one time I took it upon myself, (because I’m a good person), to decide to become an Alpha for once and teach Alaric a lesson! A moral lesson! I snooped around his bedroom, when he’s not at home and I open his laptop. In there I found a file that are filled with his evil plans to take down his big brother and snatched away their father’s company from him. Since I’m a good person, and I’m learning to become more of an Alpha for once, I took the initiative to delete this file. I hope that this action will give him a signal to stop what he’s doing. After I delete this file that are full of his evil plots and schemes towards his perfect older big brother, I also found his other files that are filled with his collections of videos, but not just any videos. His porn videos collection, his forced role play porn videos collections. Not a BDSM videos, but a role play of a beautiful women getting forced to have a sexual intercourse by a guy that almost looks like him, big, strong, tall and has the power to dominate any women that he likes. I feel so disgusted by it, that I decided to deleted this file to, straight away. After he came back, I heard a loud manly scream from his room and when I checked it out, it was Alaric trying to find a file about his plan to destroy his big brother. He asked me where his file has gone, but I replied that I don’t know. He then checked the webcam that he has install in his room (which I am not aware off btw) and saw me deleting everything. He confronted me about this behavior and ask me why would I do such a thing. He thought we were friends. I have no choice but to come clean to him and explained that the reason for me to do this, it’s because I want to teach him a lesson. A moral lesson, about not hurting other people and accept our fate no matter what, without hurting anybody else. He then give me the most evilest glare that I ever seen him in.

And he said, “I trusted you and you have betrayed me! I never hurt you before because I thought we were both at the same side, but apparently, you think that you are better than me, well at least morally anyway. In fact you think you’re better than me so much that you decided to jeopardize my plan for my future and the future of my father’s company and for what? To teach me some big moral lesson? You know what, I will consider you my enemy now, and I will show you what I will do to my enemy especially the one that I think is my equal!” He then packs his bags and left the apartment right away. I was relieved, I thought for a moment there that he’s going to beat me to a pulp and put me in a hospital, but thank God that he doesn’t. Perhaps he was just bluffing, but what does it mean when he said that he consider me as his enemy, that are also his equal. I don’t understand. A couple of months later I have to move out from the apartment that I’m in because someone just bought the ownership of this building and now they want to bulldoze it and turn it into a Mall. Sucks to be me. I have no choice than to go back to my mother’s house and move in back with her. My mother is a very beautiful woman and very faithful to my father, after my father has died. She has never married again. Prim and proper and very religious, she’s always been a very caring woman. This time however I noticed that she has changed:

She dressed in a very sexy way, and there is a certain allure that she has now, that is sort of making me feel uncomfortable, especially as a son. I asked her “Mom, what has changed” and she said “What do you mean?” I asked her again “Why do you dress very sexy now?” And she said “Oooohhh I’m just very anxious for you to meet my new lover that’s all...” I was shocked when I heard her say the ‘L’ word. I thought she’s going to be loyal to my Dad until she passed away. I asked her immediately who is her new Lover, and how many lovers has she had in the past, and she said “Oooohhh calm down honey, this is the first lover that I ever had after your Dad has passed away, he’s very sweet, he’s always helping me around the house when I’m alone! In fact he’s here right now. Would you like to meet him?” I said “Yes”, and a couple of minutes later I heard a familiar voice saying “Hello Son!” And guess who showed up.

It was Alaric. I freaked out and I get angry. I wanted to attack him but he’s stronger than me. My Mom started to try and stop me and asked me what has gotten into me, and I told her everything, about the apartment, the files, the threats everything! My Mom asked him if this is true of which he deny everything. He said that he had never met me once in his life. At that moment, I just realized something, I have no proof to back my claimed up. I don’t even have any social media, to stalked him to. I only know that he has a lot of followers because he has showed me his social media account once. My Mom said maybe the reason why I’m so angry it’s because I haven’t gotten to know him very well, so she decided to give us some quality alone time together. When my Mom leave the room, Alaric started to smirk at me, and said “So what do you think? I told you that I will start treating you like the enemy that I consider equal!” I replied “Alaric please this has come to far, you have to leave my Mother alone! She’s innocent! This is between you and me!” He said “I don’t give a shit! I will destroy everything that you love and you hold dear, just like you did to me, and I will teach you about some big moral lesson about life, and you will start thanking me for it! You even have to start calling me Daddy!” I asked him again “Wait what do you mean? What do you mean that I have to start calling you Daddy?” He said “Your mom and I has gotten engaged!” I replied “Wait What? What do you mean? How? When?” He then smirked again and said “a couple of days ago, it took me a while to seduce her, but she finally gives in. It’s seems that after your Father has died and you have moved out from her house, she has become very lonely. I just have to fucked her once and showed her what she has been missing with, and she couldn’t say no to me ever since!” I asked him “Wait What? You did what?” In which he replied “Yeah you heard me. I fucked your mom! It was the Greatest Fuck that she ever had, she even said that I’m a better fuck than her late husband! Your Father! We Fucked, and we fucked, and we fucked. Sometime we fucked without condom, and I cream pied her a couple of times and we recorded it! We also did that role playing thing that you hate so much from my Laptop. Where she pretend to be this weak innocent woman and I came in to her house and have my way with her and there is nothing she can do to stop me! Yeah we did that!” At this point I don’t know what to say anymore. He then continued by saying “If you ever try to do something funny again to me, and jeopardize my plan for my future, I will post your mom videos to the internet and the world will know what a whore your mother really is!!! Peace out Brotha!!!

I was very angry at him, I tried to taught him a lesson, a good moral lesson in the past and this is how he repaid me. The next couple of days things has gotten really worse. Every night, I couldn’t stop hearing my mother’s voices moaning and groaning in her room while screaming Alaric name over and over again “Oh Alaric, That’s it! YOU are so good! Don’t Stop, Don’t Stop!” She even can’t stop stroking his ego “Oooohhh Alaric you are such a Man! A Big Man!!! A Strong Man! You are much stronger than my first husband!”. I can’t believe she said that! These voices can last for hours and hours. I sometime wonder when will they finally get some sleep! Alaric then take his revenge a step further by starting to wear my father’s clothes and smoke his cigars!

My Mothers even allowed it. Everyday she can’t stop talking about how Alaric is going to be my Stepfather someday! A good Stepfather, even though, she knows that he’s about the same age as I am. I always get angry at her and I tried to talked him out of this, but he refused to listened. He just smirked and continue to do his thing. One time I get a text message from my mom’s phone saying that she needed me in the beach near the house and when I get over there well, guess what I found.

Alaric having his dick sucked at the beach by my mom, in public. No one was there but I guess he just wanted me to see how much control that he has over me and my mom! He texted me using my mom’s phone while he’s getting a blowjob from my mom at public places. Just so that I can see this thing. I can’t stand this anymore, I almost went crazy. I begged Alaric to stop punishing me because of what I did in the past, of which he replied to me“I only wanted to teach you a lesson!” And when I asked him what the lesson that he wanted to teach me, he simply replied with “Never try to teach an Alpha anything, especially about Life, cus he might schooled you on what real life really is!” And just like that I realized that I should never overstep my boundaries by teaching an Alpha anything.

[yikesharringrove]

I'm thinking about Steve is forced to work for his father because he can't get in any college. So he's in the company as his secretary, and he is treated like shit. So he's going to submit some papers for his father's Boss Billy Hargrove and when he sees the Man he can only think about the words Power and Dominate

We’re gonna combine some schtuff.

Anonymous asked:

Hmm What about Steve meeting Billy who’s this rich business man because he wants to work for him. There’s a lot of sexual tension when they’re talking and then they end up fucking 👀👀👀 (++ Daddy Kink)

This is modern, but it’s not totally mentioned.

On ao3 too.

Porn

“Steven, I need you to take these up to the eighth floor.”

Mr. Harrington dropped a stack of files on the corner of his desk.

After Steve didn’t get into college, his father pretty much forced him to work at his office. He had, of course, downgraded the original offer, moved him from Company Representative to fourth-floor secretary.

He has to file things, take messages, and do everything for the entire floor.

By the time he looked up from the message he was taking, his father was already down the hall, halfway to his office.

“No problem, sir.” He huffed, picking up the stack of files, heading to the elevator.

The eighth floor was the executive floor, where the bosses of the bosses were.

It was clean, and quiet, the woman in the desk positioned the same way was smiling prettily at him.

“Can I help you?”

“I have these files from the fourth-floor form Mr. Harrington for, uh,” He looked at the post-it on top of the manila folder. “Mr. Hargrove?”

“Third door on your left.” Steve nodded, hefting the stack to the corner office, the big one. He had to shuffle awkwardly to knock on the door.

“Come in.” He pushed the door, nearly dropping the files in the process.

He had to shuffle with them to get them back in his arms before looking up.

His breath hitched when he saw the Mr. Hargrove.

He was in a bespoke suit, a dark sleet grey over a crisp white shirt, a dark red tie. His chest was broad, his arms thick. His hair was short, but curly and wild. But his eyes are what truly got Steve, a gorgeous bright blue.

“Can I help you?”

“Hi, I’m Steve Harrington. I have, I have the files you requested from Mr. Harrington?”

Hargrove smiled at him, standing up and gesturing at the chair on the other side of his desk, relieving Steve of the stack of files.

“So, Steve Harrington, huh? That you’re father who works down on four?”

“Yes, sir. I’m the fourth-floor secretary.” Billy raised his eyebrows at him, nodding slowly as he settled on the edge of the desk, facing Steve.

Steve was staring at his thighs, so fucking thick in his slacks. Steve wanted them to crush his fucking head. Hargrove leaned forward over Steve, placing each hand on either armrest.

“See something you like?” Steve’s eyes went wide as he looked back at Billy’s face.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hargrove, sir-”

“Please, call me Billy.” He fucking purred it at him, made a chill run down Steve’s spine. He smirked, his tongue poking out between his teeth. “Why’d he put you at a desk? If he was gonna pull strings for his son, you’d think he’d make you a higher up.”

Steve looked down at the floor, he could feel his face getting hot.

“I was supposed to be a rep but I, I didn’t go to, to college so this was the best he could do.” Billy pulled back, frowning.

“You don’t need college to be a rep. You just need to be good at schmoozing. Kissing ass. You’re pretty enough to make it really work for you.” Steve glanced back up at him as he went around his desk, filling out a memo. “You’re under me now. I want you up on eight, you’re gonna start repping.” He pulled it off the pad with a flurry, heading out to give it to the floor eight secretary.

Steve had no idea what in the fuck had just happened.

“Your father should be getting that soon. Let me take you out to lunch. Celebrate your big promotion.”

“Sorry, but I don’t think I understand.”

“I just promoted you. You’ll report directly to me now, but you’re a representative, gonna be out making connections.” Steve just blinked.

“But, why?”

“I like you. I can see potential.”

Billy took him to some nice place a block down from their building, a place with a separate menu for all the fancy scotch they had. Billy tried two, Steve got a lemonade.

Lunch was nice. The food was excellent, and Billy was wonderful company, would tell Steve you’ve GOT to try this and feed him bites of his own food from his own fork. Steve was hot under the collar the entire meal.

As Steve transitioned to working under Billy, their lunches remained consistent, meeting up each day unless one of them had an important client they were meeting with.

Steve was okay at his job, could chit-chat well with potential clients, did a good job of getting them interested enough to meet with someone higher up to hammer out details. He made connections, but he had no passion for the work, wasn’t all that savvy at it, and straight-up wasn’t even totally sure what the company even did.

But he stuck it out, wanted to be able to see Billy every day, to tell him what he’d accomplished during the week, have Billy smile at him and tell him he was good.

Steve may not have been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he knew enough about himself to understand a few things: 1. When a hot, beefy guy tells him he’s good, that really fuckin’ does it for him. 2. He wants said hot, beefy guy to tell him he’s good while doing, other activities. 3. He has serious daddy issues.

He realized the third one when he woke up one night in his small apartment, from a dream in which Billy was just like, taking care of him, was holding him and telling him that’s he’s precious, sat him down and reminded him to eat, made sure he drank water. There was literally nothing sexual about it, but he still woke up sweaty and panting, the word daddy on his lips.

And then came the Christmas party.

It was for the whole company, to celebrate the holiday, and a booming fiscal year, a reward for a job well done, an incentive for a continued job well done.

Steve was drunk.

He had necked about five lemon drop shots early on, had topped it all off with a few beers and more cocktails.

He was in Billy’s office, trying to get his shit together enough to call someone to give him a ride home when he heard the door open.

“You okay in here?” Billy was smirking, leaned against the wall next to the closed door, smirking as Steve’s head lolled over on the back of the chair.

“Heyy, Bill!” Steve giggled to himself. “How's your Christmas party?”

“It’s not looking quite as fun as yours in here.” He dropped into the chair next to Steve’s. “You need a lift home?”

Steve’s eyes were big as he looked at him.

“Yeah. I would like that.”

Billy’s car was sleek, vintage, and gorgeous. Steve was sitting low in the passenger seat as Billy navigated the way to Steve’s little apartment.

“You wanna come in?” Billy had to help Steve walk to the door of his apartment, had to help him with the keys at each door. “I want you to come in.” Steve slapped at the wall a few times before finding the light switch.

Billy smiled at the cozy little studio, the soft bed in the corner, covered in pillows and blankets, the squashy couch against one wall, the fridge covered in pictures and letters.

Steve was struggling out of his nice clothes, wiggling his way awkwardly into pajamas, slamming into the bathroom to poke at his eyes until he got his contacts out. When he returned, in a too-big t-shirt, soft little shots, and these big amazing glasses, Billy was very nearly in love.

“You want a drink?” Steve opened the fridge. Billy peered inside over his shoulder, seeing a six-pack of beer, a bottle of mustard, one-half stick of butter and an avocado.

“What in the hell? Aren’t you like a grown-up? What is this fridge?” Steve just turned around, looking at him blankly.

“You do know I’m like, barely twenty, right?” Billy blinked.

“You said that you didn’t go to college.”

“I meant I didn’t get in to college. I really fucking stupid.” He grabbed a beer, settling himself on the couch, tugging a blanket onto his lap. It looked hand made.

“You’re not stupid at all. I work with you, I know how smart you are.” Steve just shrugged. Billy joined him on the sofa, taking the beer out of his hand and taking a drink. “But you’re seriously that young?”

“Yeah, turned twenty like, a week and a half ago.” Billy choked on his beer.

“I didn’t even know it was your birthday? Why the hell didn’t you say something?” Steve shrugged.

“Didn’t want to make a big deal outta the whole thing. My dad forgot about it, so why cause a stink.”

“Your dad sucks. I’ve worked with him for the past six years, and I can’t fucking stand him, can’t really imagine him as a parent.”

“That’s cause he wasn’t. He and my mom would leave me alone in the house most of the time. She would travel and he had an apartment out here by the office. The house was in a small town about two hours south. He would come home every few months, tell me I was stupid, and an embarrassment to him, and be on his merry way.”

“I’m sorry, Stevie. My old man was really awful too. Second I graduated high school, I was outta there. Left him a letter telling him that he’s an awful person, that I’m a big ol’ homo, and that I never want to see him ever again. It was fucking amazing.” Steve had inched closer to him on the couch, his knees pressed into Billy’s thigh under his blanket.

“I wish I could do that. Just tell him every way he’s been a horrible father, that I don’t want to work at his stupid company.”

“Then quit.” Steve gave him a Look. “I’m serious. If you don’t like it, then what’s the point?”

“I need money. Fucking look at this place. My dad cut me off when I didn’t get into college, said my salary was the only money he would be giving me anymore. I’m fucking broke.” Steve sniffed.

Billy reached up, stroking his jaw with one hand.

“I’m so sorry he treats you the way he does. You’re so precious, deserve the fucking world.” It sounded like Steve’s fucking dream, the one with Billy looking at him softly, taking sweet care of him.

Steve leaned forward, catching Billy’s lips with his own, keeping it slow and gentle.

“Stay. Stay the night with me.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Baby. You’re drunk.”

“Don’t wanna have sex yet, just wanna sleep with you. You look like you’d be a good cuddler.” Billy laughed lightly into the kiss.

“I’m an excellent cuddler, Pretty Boy.”

Steve slept so fucking peacefully wrapped up in Billy’s strong arms, the heat of his body pressed against his back.

He woke up to the smell of coffee, the sizzle of eggs and bacon. Billy was standing over the stove, wearing stolen clothes and cooking him breakfast. Steve plastered himself to his back, pressing a kiss to Billy’s neck.

“Where’d you get all this?”

“I went to the grocery store. Because I’m a grown-up.” Steve bit his neck lightly in retaliation.

“I’m kind of a grown-up.”

“Yeah, but you just need to be taken care of a little bit more.” Steve went red as he loaded up his plate, eating quickly. “I could do that. Take care of you.”

Steve looked up at him, mouth full of scrambled eggs, open just a little bit.

“What do you mean?”

“I wanna take care of you, Stevie.” Billy used one foot to move Steve’s chair, scooted it until Steve was facing him, leaning down into his space. “You ever thought about findin’ yourself a daddy?”

Steve’s face began going hot. Of course he had fuckin’ thought about it, ran his fingers over his cock while choking out Daddy to images of faceless, Billy-esque men in his fantasies.

He nodded.

Billy grinned, wide and sharp.

“Get undressed. Get on the bed.” Steve stood on shaky legs, feeling like a newborn deer, just learning to walk. He stripped slowly, never once breaking eye contact with Billy. He sat on the bed, legs spread a little, arms by his sides. “Do you want this, Steve?” Billy was moving slowly towards him, had turned off the stove as he left it behind. “You can say no at any time. Can tell me to fuck off and I won’t mind, won’t judge. Do you want this?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Daddy.” Billy was standing in front of Steve, placed two fingers on his chest, pushing him back slowly.

“Pick a word. One you’ll only say if you want me to stop. Tell me your word.” Steve’s eyes darted around the apartment.

“Tangerine. Tangerine is my word, Daddy.” Billy leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Now let Daddy take care of you.” Steve was spread on the bed, his legs open to Billy. “Good boy.” Steve whimpered. Billy smiled at him. “You like that, Baby? Like being a good boy for Daddy?”

“Yes, Daddy. Wanna be good.” Billy smiled. He settled on his knees between Steve’s legs, leaning forward to lick up Steve’s cock. He flicked his tongue against the slit, making Steve’s breath hitch.

He cried out when Billy took him into his mouth. He sank down all the way to the root, Steve’s cock bumping against the back of his throat. He pulled off, leaning down to mouth at Steve’s balls, making his back arch.

Steve threaded one hand into Billy’s hair, just holding onto the soft curls, free of the usual product he used to tame them in the office.

Billy was looking at him through his long lashes, moved his attention back to his cock, hollowing his cheeks as he sucked, curling his tongue along the underside of his cock.

His mouth was hot, was velvet soft around Steve. He pressed until his nose was in the hair on Steve’s pelvis, he didn’t even choke as his cock slid into his throat.

“Daddy, Daddy I’m gonna cum.” Steve tugged softly on his hair, whining and writhing and he drew closer and closer.

His back arched as he choked, cumming in Billy’s mouth, gripping his hair roughly.

“Fuck, Daddy. Made me feel so good.” Billy pulled off his cock, pet up Steve’s shaking thighs as he smiled up at him.

[lie---ability]

for too many times in my life had i been wrong about people. so much that anyone who tries to have anything with me makes me anxious. i even get anxious about my upcoming job at Virus & Partners because new people = chances of any of them hurting me. i have been wrong about people so much that i think it's because i idealize them so much. i mean an example could be us hanging out everyday, do a lot of things together, stay out late together, ditch others for each other, chat each other right after being together the entire day, say i love you and get home safe — and i'd think we're best friends!!! only for her to say we never were. and that she never wanted to be close with someone like me. so it must be me, right? maybe i just fell in love with the thought that she's a great best friend. at the same time i think, no. she was a best friend, she did exist. that version of her existed. or at least did when it was convenient or beneficial to her, but when the time came where it wasn't, she threw me under the bus, become totally different from who i loved. who i proudly said was my best friend. all those months that built up my comfort, trust, attachment — ended up being told as a lie. and if it came from the person herself that they were lies, who am i to say she's just saying that for whatever reason? she said it herself. we weren't best friends even if she said it before. so what was the truth? was i just really stupid and idealistic? or are people just so awful now? it's like i'm this fish in a pond who's so easy to catch with just the right amount of treat. like i'd swim away when you approach but try a bit more and i'd fall for it. attachment issues suck, more so my abandonment issues.

but this post isn't about jodie. this is about my first boyfriend, rikko.

first because rj doesn't count, the fuck? that shit was a joke lol i just got a dose of reality at an early age. no love there at all. who even falls in love at 13? that shit illegal. so yes, rikko is my first boyfriend ♥️ and even though i've dated guys before, he's the only one i ever loved so far. i love him so much. in fact, before i was already starting to think that maybe i'm not capable of love? i mean, i'm aware i'm a mean person. but i didn't think of myself as someone incapable of falling in love. but among the guys i met and dated, ALL OF THEM WERE JUST TO FEED MY EGO. ego ego ego. tell me i'm pretty. keep asking me to go out and let me reject you over and over again. show me how much you wanna take me out on a date again. over and over and all of them were unintended! when i do talk to someone, a part of me tries! maybe this could work? but it kept ending the same way. ego food. which led me to think fuckkk i'm incapable of loving too? what am i here for then tfuck? — until i met rikko! and everything he did and said, i wanted more of it. the more he laughed, the more he cried, i wanted to keep seeing them, even if he laughs/cries for the same reasons over and over. i wanted the things he wanted. i wanted to like the shit he liked, and i did! i hated touch but i love being held by him. he was expressive too! like the other boys! but for some reason, it wasn't ego food. they became credit scores for me. each time he gets a point, it adds up to my reasons why this is it! why this is worth a try! and i struggled and fought hard. the commitment and daddy issues, the anxiety, the fear of abandonment, blah blah and he did and said the right things at the right time he went at the right places, gave the right gifts, promised the right things — all for him to turn out to be just like everybody else. he died months into my life. he couldn't keep up with the character he played, and idk why people keep playing a character on me. jodie played the supportive bff but really wanted to be some sort of main character which i think is rather difficult hence the hurtful betrayal. and then there's rikko, who played the boy i could ever want, but never was that person. he never was that person to his parents and friends, and i thought he would suddenly change for me? that's some boss level pick me girl shit. i love rikko, even now as i type this. i met him january 2020, it's july 29, 2021 today, and i love him so much. but i'm not sure if i should be with him anymore. on principle, morals, self-care, common sense, logic, religion. why? because he died. he died last january 2021. he's no longer the same rikko i fell for. his hands aren't the ones i fought myself to hold. he's not the same person who went all the way from paranaque to cainta for me at 8pm because my dad told me he almost had another baby with someone ON MY BIRTHDAY. he's not the same person i looked at up at Sm Aura thinking he could be the one. and that i belong here, with him. that i love being with him, and he could be other things, but i want to be with him. he didn't know it, but looking at him as he talked about his friends, those things ran in my head. it was the same rikko who got teary eyed when he misunderstood me there at the Sm Aura rooftop, thinking i meant that i was just playing him. the rikko who gave me a necklace for no reason, wore it on me and even had it in a totally unsuspecting case (tea bag) which made the surprise funnier and cuter, is... yep... no longer here. the rikko who kept reminding me i'm redeemable, that i'm not my anxieties, i'm not my bad brain, i'm not my small voice, that rikko is long gone. and still i stayed waiting, making excuses, reasoning out with myself, trusting that he'd come back and funny enough, 7 months in and... he's still gone.

the saddest part is he doesn't want to be like that. or so i think. he tries. i see him trying. i see the efforts. he tries to ask me about my day, about my worries, why i'm anxious, why i'm sad or irritated. he asks me about work, applications and when i'm out with friends or family. he tries to make time for me even now that he prefers valorant over ml with me, i know he tries to play ml with me. he tries to take some time off work to talk to me. he tries to post on social media now, shares my ig stories, joins my tiktoks and get along with my jokes. he tries. i know he does. but that's the thing. he has to try. and maybe those things, he just isn't. and the difference between trying and develop is with development, there is direction. there is progress. with rikko... it's unstable. sometimes he can do this, but the next times not so sure. and as someone anxious with rejection and abandonment issues, inconsistencies are okay, but a lot of them? and major ones? NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT. so many things rikko doesn't know and still he has it in him to say or assume a lot of things about me. one of them is when he said i'm ALWAYS annoyed at him. does he know how many times i get annoyed at things he do? but i don't address all of them not because i don't want to but because i acknowledge that they're not worth the fight or i'm just being hotheaded or immature or maybe inconsiderate. i think first before i act on him because if i learned anything about rikko, emotions have to make sense! which is wrong in the first place but that's who i'm with! but at the times i can't help being tampo, annoyed, or upset, he finds it in him to tell me i'm a l w a y s annoyed? WHEN?!?! i even asked him when and i know he realized it but still he fell stubborn to his pride. does he also know that his gifts don't make me kilig anymore? they just relieve me at this point which is sad!!! fucking sad!!! why? for example, for my virtual college graduation i was getting anxious few days before because i'm worried he won't give me anything or do something for me which will surely trigger my ~neglected issues~ and if i do get triggered, instead of addressing and being there for me, instead of making it up to me, he'd get mad! he'd make me feel that i'm asking for so much, for the impossible, all while i see it happen to people. i see other dudes give their girlfriends things without occasion. i see them try to like the things their girlfriends like, even embarrassing ones that she posts on social media. i see men constantly expressing their love for their gfs, for the person they asked to commit to them. all while i have one who would call me demanding, needy and exhausting. imagine? lol i get anxious he won't fulfill me not because i'd get sad but because he'll get mad when i get upset. he'd make me feel awful and remind me of the reason why we should end. and i hate that. i'm fighting so hard to take it off my mind, i hate thinking that we're incompatible, unhappy and that we're just trying to revive this love we have for each other. that love really isn't enough, even for us. so when he got me this bouquet for graduation, i was 95% relieved and 5% kilig because awwwww but more importantly, I WON'T BE TAMPO WHICH MEANS I WON'T HAVE TO HIDE AND HE WON'T HAVE TO GET ANNOYED AT ME BEING UPSET! as i type this all the more i feel bad because it's so clear i shouldn't be with him anymore. it hurts each time it crosses my mind. i really see rikko as the love of my life. and idk why. because he shouldn't be. the love of your life should be someone who makes you laugh, makes you strong but can also let you cry. the love of your life is the one who holds you on your way out of dark times. the love of your life is the one who corrects you in ways that won't make you feel bad, but in ways that make you feel cared for. that he's telling you so out of concern, not because he thinks you're a difficult sick mental person who needs an on-call therapist and an attending nurse. the love of your life should be the person who makes you cry the least.

but he doesn't deserve it also. maybe he's not ready to be in a relationship just yet. and there was no harm in trying. in fact i'm happy he tried because if he hadn't added me on facebook and hit up on instagram, i would have never known what love was like. i would also have never known how fun and exciting it is to be in love. it's so nice actually! to lie down with someone and just know they'll be there when you wake up and even if you do wake up in the middle of the night, you're safe with them. and no matter what you look like in the morning or how loud you snore or how stretched you are in bed, you are loved by this person next to you. and they chose to sleep with you too. to be as vulnerable as you are. and i loved that with rikko. we sleep together, we wake up in between sleep just to look for each other's cheeks, we shower together, we do weird shower dances, we have secret baby things, and a lot more things that you would think from here on meant forever. because these things, how could you ever try them again with someone else? because from where i am right now I HATE THE THOUGHT OF THOSE WITH ANYONE WHO'S NOT RIKKO. but stay with him for what? for what at this point? i'm not God. i'm just an anxious person with daddy issues who has enough money hunger and dreams plus a mom, aunts and 1 friend who loves rikko so much. i can't change him. and i shouldn't.

[2telluthetruth]

before i watch some shit i gotta know how the story ends. if not, ima critically analyze the whole movie until i figures it... it usually takes me 30 minutes to figure out the whole plot but that’s besides the point. knowing the ending of a movie allows me to pay attention to alll the little things leading up to the end. the directors choice in lighting, the way that certain actor did a certain movement to portray a certain feeling, setting, like camera work, basically everything i just the last 4 years of my life studying get applied to my enjoyment of a film. 

I wish life was like that... you get to like google how it all ends for you. like what will happen in your life all the way to the end. you can always have what you envisioned for yourself, your plan, your schedule of things but then life has a funny way of letting you know that shit happens. and you learn whatever it is you need to from that incident, apply the lesson, and keep going. it’s actually pretty simple. like looking both ways before you cross the street and still almost getting hit by a car because a person felt the need to speed thru an intersection because maybe he had a family emergency or he had too much to drink. regardless life will thro curveballs, ain’t that fucked up? like bitch. lemme read my book of life so i can move accordingly. but i guess that’s not fun anyways because God would just tell us what to do and there would be no free will. and we all know how people hate being told what to do with there life from a higher up lmao

....but idk none of this shit really applies to me. I guess I’ll just share my testimony here since I'm only people who really give a fuck about me would give a fuck about this post. ( Which i recently found out is ME, i’m the only person who opinions/decisons matter when it comes to me life)

SO HERE IT GOES

Since a child, I always knew i was going to be a very wealthy person. I’m smarter than my peers, i’m stronger than my peers, and way more wiser than most of people i meet. It’s very rare I met a person who’s intellect is as diverse as mine in terms of emotional knowledge and regular book smart shit. Like i’m sort of a hood intellectual, but like different because my Dad is a foreigner who comes from i guess what you would call a decent background, My grandfather was an engineer in Germany lmao. Like wtf. That’s very hard to do. Them mfs got some history of disrcrimnation if you know what I mean. And another ancestor of mine on my father side was adopted by the priest of a missionary because he was so smart, hence why my last name has french origins. and you know what i found out this year during my research dives on the different religions in the world..

There is a Saint in the catholic religion named St. Malo and his birthday is the same birthday as mine. He’s french as well. LMAO SO like i said I AM BUILT DIFFERENT. But that’s not what i really wanted to go talk about so let’s talk about how I’ve always knew I am dying a extremely rich woman. First of my name type shit.

So yeah. 

I LOVE PERFORMING AND PUTTING ON A SHOW OKAY! SINCE BIRTH!

I’m not even dramatic. I remember dancing in front of my family all the time.   Ask my auntie teena and she’d tell ya I would dance in front of anybody at any place in a drop of a dime. There’s literal footage of me dancing at every function at BayBay (Vivian) house. Lmao I still dance with all my family members at the bbqs I attend. Dancing really is my shit.

 Singing is too.

 I remember going to church with my daddy, some spot in LA/ the Jamaican jawn with uncle Jerry, and singing “Because of who you are” in front of everybody. No fucks given, And i kid you not I felt the holy ghost. That’s the best feeling in the world. Happened to me a couple times but I’ll tell ya bout it later some day when it matters. i remember one time coming home and singing and HITTING THAT HIGH PITCH ASS MARIAH CAREY NOTE! ( we got the same birthday too)

and i always loved music. the only time i didn’t cry was in my daddy cars listening to the reggae and bass booming thru the fucking trunk. 

During school I remember performing all the time. School plays, I got the lead role. School assembly, I’m putting on a show. Shit even for my 5th graduation I choreographed the whole MJ we are the world dance routine. Lol for hispanic heritage month I always was the girl who had the authentic skirt for the folklore dance. it was black and red. Very pretty. Mrs. Sanchez was enamored with me girl. She was like your the star you gone be centerstage in the middle only black girl while everyone else wonder why your on stage lmao. We were so good we entered a competition and got a trophy. 

Basketball was fun. I do not like team sports so that ain’t work out. Plus i think i suck. Well I couldn’t have been that bad because in middle school I made the All City team. I didn’t play because my hair wasn’t done I kept the jersey though LMAO. They was hot. HS was whatever. Lowkey only did it because of the niggas and cheer was boring/got too intense for me. I had commitment issues back then like crazy lmao.

Track was fun too. Made championships when I ran. Heart really wasn’t into to it if I’m keeping it G-Real. Didn’t fuck with the track meets plus the girls on the team hated me. I was always with the guys but the weren’t like the guys i hung out with all the time. them niggas was squares, homeschooled and all that. i hung out with delinquents lmao. Shit they always more fun. I know why Jesus hung out with the sinners mmkay. They loyal and know how to have a good time.

In middle school, I won a poetry contest about this poem I had about being a tree and not falling despite what happens. I also got like  award for being the top 3% of scoring in the whole district a couple times. Moms got me a iPod touch lmao.

High school ASB President, got accepted into more than 20+ colleges, in AVID. Cheer team. Basketball team. My drama Teacher, Mrs. Borek called me the baby Viola Davis. I directed and produced my own play lol. Boy, when I graduated I was on stage with admin and faculty. 

But anyways overall, 

I’ve always been the cream of the crop in any arena I apply myself. And I’ve never ever experienced a situation where I’ve been down bad that I didn’t plot and maneuver my way out of it (besides the shit that happened this year 2020 but i’ll give my 2020 review later ). I’m continuously blessed. Even when  I shouldn’t be. 

In elementary, I could’ve caught a case because I punched this boy in the head and he hit the tetherball pole then the floor. Buddy was knotted up lmao

In elementary school during after school day care I banged this girl head on the table and a pole lmao. 

In the carmelitos i gave this girl the business at auntie meanies house. Abri said beat her ass so I did. Trust me daddy, I’m always on go lmao. Her family was from some type of hood. They ain’t retaliate. 

Middle school I was beating boys up after school never got in trouble. LMAO None of the girls wanted to fight with they scary ass. 

High school I did the dumbest shit freshman year but didn’t get suspended. \bro i’m tired. i’ll tell the rest later.  but closing statement life’s a gamble for people who don’ t know the code. once you figure out your role play to the best of your ability and pray to God to constantly look out for you. *  4:48 

[toxicpineapple]

Please give me your amami essay, I'd like to know the TEA! I was also gonna ask for the mastermind essay, but honestly I REALLY wanna hear your thoughts on his characterization (and your thoughts on his shitty fanon characterization)

HOOO BOY OKAY. this is good, it gives me an excuse to procrastinate on reading that new amasai fic on the latest feed. (note that i REALLY WANT TO READ IT, i’m just anticipating commenting and tbh the spoons,,, i lack them. it’s okay though i’ll get over it.)

so!!! let’s start with general attitude, because i think that amami’s is really unique. he’s a subversive character. in general i feel like that was the biggest goal with his character design and personality combination-- he looks like a total playboy, kaede even comments as much moooore than once. but he’s the absolute opposite. i’ll rant about that in a bit. i’ve already gone off on a tangent and i said i was gonna talk about attitude.

amami is laid back, but not to the point of complacency. y’know what i mean? like, he’s relaxed, but he’s on his guard, too. his speaking style is pretty casual (typically he’ll greet people with a “hey,” whenever he’s slightly uncomfortable he’ll probably say “haha”... this isn’t necessarily a canon thing but i like it when people have him talking in sentence fragments. ex. “forgot to grab my jacket” or “wanted to get a snack” sort of thing) and that’s just,,, the type of person he is. he’s casual. it’s remarkable considering how wealthy amami is-- though bear in mind, he still IS wealthy, so there are bound to be things he doesn’t understand about people-- that he can be so normal and like, down to earth, in a way. when people mess around with him he’ll probably just laugh it off.

to cite a fic i read once that had REALLY phenomenal characterisation, imo, ouma ends up dumping a bucket of water on amami’s head (on accident; there are some semantics and i won’t get into it but again the fic is really good and funny and you should totally read it) and amami just squeezes out his shirt and makes a couple cracks before walking away. (sorry this isn’t meant to be a “dumping love on fics” post but GOD that fic is hysterical.) he’s an enabler too, at least i think so-- remember that anthology chapter where kaede, shuichi, and kaito are trying to catch ouma and kaito sets an “amami trap” to stop him? all ouma has to do is flutter his eyelashes and go “pleeeaaase let me go amam~niichan!” and then he just. he does. what a fucking doormat i can’t believe him.

he’s like that though. i feel like big brother stuff is kind of his weakness. (and not in a kinky way alright i will destroy you. he might make a joke about having a sister complex in one of his ftes but he DOESNT that joke was just tasteless COME ON RANTARO WHFKLDSJFK) which brings me to his whole older brother thing, because like,,, YEAH. guy grew up with twelve younger sisters!!! and he remarked in his ftes with shuichi that they’re mostly step sisters, which means he just.... has a nurturing personality. i mean amami is somewhat conservative (if you try to come on to him during salmon mode you will be brutally rebuffed; amami tells u to keep your horny thoughts to yourself, though you shouldn’t be ashamed of having them) so i imagine he’s not the biggest fan of his father’s tendencies-- not that i don’t NECESSARILY interpret his father’s behaviour as him sleeping around.... it’s possible he just likes children and deliberately marries women who already have kids so he can take them... i mean it’s exceedingly decent to keep considering ur step children to be your children after a divorce so i have a hard time reconciling this common image of rantaro’s dad as some kind of player figure with the impression i got of him in my head but that’s just my daddy issues coming into play again so ignore me-- and yet he still considers all his sisters to be his sisters.

not to mention he feels a great deal of like, responsibility, when it comes to taking care of them. i find it impossible to believe that all the losses were his fault. you could ARGUE that the one he tells you about with his younger sister was to be blamed on him? but i mean, amami is a child. he didn’t even know his sister was following him out. sure he blames himself for it but there’s no real good way to blame him just considering that,,, he’s a kid. and he was so young-- he was obviously so young-- when it happened. so like, not to be all Good and Bad on you, but i do feel that amami is fundamentally a good reason. and you SEE that too, in the killing game. i’m certain he was on the fence about trusting that note he woke up with. would you trust it? he had no memory whatsoever of writing it, all he had were the words “ultimate hunt” and a map of the school to guide his way. i imagine he wasn’t even sure if he should do what the note said. but then ryoma started talking about sacrificing himself for everyone else, and rantaro probably thought, “well... if i have a way to get us out of here, even if it doesn’t work, i can’t just let ryoma sacrifice himself without having tried.”

rantaro is self-reliant too, i think. in the talent development plan mukuro remarks that she noticed he was injured a good number of times, but never said anything about it because she felt like he was trying to keep it under wraps. (note: good idea for an amami and mukuro friendship fic. must write. someone remind me.) i think amami kind of feels isolated from his classmates? either because he has these perceived notions of like, independence and whatever, not burdening anybody else with his problems (honestly not to go chabashira on main but wtf men ask for help c’mon i promise if you find a person who’s worth being in ur life they won’t treat you like shit for feeling ur feelings) or just because he’s not around a lot. i think amami is the type of person to invalidate his own problems a lot, or at least downplay them to others. he blames himself for all his sisters going missing, took the responsibility to find them all. you know the blow that’s going to be to his education? traveling around the world looking for twelve different people? and he plans to keep doing that!!! forever!!! ugh ;-; poor babey. but anyway i feel like he doesn’t want to tell anybody about his problems because he feels like it’s his thing to deal with.

i also believe that rantaro is a bit prideful. i mean, anyone can be prideful under the correct circumstances, and in fact there is a great deal of pride that simply isn’t addressed by the fandom in analysing characters and that makes me really sad because pride is such a SEXY character flaw but i’ll leave that alone for now. he hates being told to give up on what he’s doing. i mean everyone in his life has been telling him to stop looking for his sisters. that’s got to suck, but also, DAMN look at what his reaction was. this utter refusal to open up to anybody. shuichi’s ftes with him are spent pretty much just trying to get amami to stop squirreling around and actually TALK to him. amami asks shuichi at one point if he has any siblings and when the response is negative, amami immediately assumes that shuichi wouldn’t understand, would tell him to quit. just like everyone else.

(i mean, even with kiyo and mukuro, whose circumstances mirror his almost painfully at least in willingness to sacrifice stuff for their siblings, he doesn’t tell them what he’s doing, just that he’s doing it for his sister-- singular-- and that he would do anything for her. kiyo and mukuro!! out of ANYBODY, they would understand. in tdp they DO talk about it-- kiyo encourages him to keep searching-- as his friend...... fuck amaguji is such a good ship even if the implications of kiyo saying he wants to meet rantaro’s sister after he finds her bc she must be suuuuch a good person if he’s doing all this for her are uhhh not great-- and mukuro immediately understands when he says it’s to do with his younger sister. like, full stop. she just goes “okay” and goes serious. all at once. damn rantaro, mukuro, and kiyo really do be a power trio huh. i need to write more fic about them i miss them.)

this is more into baseless conjecture so take this as you will, but i also think rantaro is kind of,,, easily distracted lmao. he mentions helping out a village with a disease-- been a while since i’ve seen his ftes, sorry for any inconsistencies-- among other shit and like... bro what are you DOING. you have sisters to find. and he can’t be getting injured all the time, getting wrapped up with gang violence and all that, looking for people who were lost traveling. i mean sure, you could say they went all over the world and got wrapped up in all sorts of mess, but more likely they stayed in roughly the same area, waiting for him to come back. and also? i have a hard time believing his sisters were lost in these remote forest places people always put them. COME ON, who the fuck goes to some village for a vacation? a RICH person no less. i’m on another tangent. sorry. but yeah, i love the people who write rantaro as an absolute airhead. i headcanon that he has no way of judging the passing of time and thus is the absolute worst in the bathroom bc he sits there for twenty minutes thinking about the universe and then walks out like “:) ok ready to go” like wtf are you even doing there stupid akljdf anyway.

i think rantaro is softhearted and thoughtful. in his ftes with kaede he demonstrates an ability to look past what people show at surface level-- you can ask him about miu, kiibo, or kiyo and he’ll give u Good Fucking Insight(tm)-- and analyse their intentions more closely. and i mean this is just from a couple day’s interaction. he’s down to earth for sure, understanding when people are intimidated but also caring and observant. (his “talk about a first impression” line is so fuckaindgf.... good for his characterisation. i love romantic amamatsu but he so clearly takes an older brother role in those ftes, he’s really such a sweetheart,,,, hnadhfkj ;w;) rantaro is just. he’s patient with people. and selfless and kind. idk it’s all the good stuff. warm smiles and indulgence. all the way. probably lets kokichi steal his lunch.

THAT BEING SAID: i think rantaro also has a very serious streak. he doesn’t show it a lot but there are moments. he’s self-sacrificing-- i mean, obviously. he was the ultimate survivor, after all. some people hc that he got there by killing, or maybe everyone else in his game died but one person, but bro that doesn’t make any sense???? no. what happened was there were probably like three people left, and monokuma was like “one has to be sacrificed” and rantaro thought, welp. it’ll be me then. and i wouldn’t say the choice would be immediate because rantaro DOES has self preservation instincts-- he’s only human-- but i don’t think he’d have let anybody else make that decision. i think ultimately he would try to protect other people.

he can be scarily confrontational too. i do believe he’d usually only do it in the defense of others-- like, his base instinct is to protect. i read a fic once (oumami, unfortunately) where ouma was committing crimes and went to hide behind rantaro and rantaro instinctively moved to protect him, and that’s.... that’s good characterisation. point one to the oumami stans, point zero to me. motherfucker. (love u oumami stans, it’s just not my thing.) i really like it in fics when he’s stern, lecturing people for hurting other people, but i also think rantaro is too understanding to be truly unforgiving. like if two people got into an argument and one came out of it more hurt than the other, i don’t believe that amami would be unsympathetic to the less hurt one. i think he’s mature enough to take a look at the situation and go, well, okay.

i think he’d be TERRIFYING when angry. he’s patient, y’know? so it takes a lot to get him to that point. he’s really, ah, accommodating of people. puts up with a lot of bs kind of thing. but i imagine the best way to get him to snap is by hurting someone he cares about. and at that point: ur fucked. i’ve never written it before because i’m terrified of what i’d do with that kind of power but.... imagine the shuichi whump. holy god.

i’m NOT here to talk about shuichi whump (though i’m down to do that any time of day believe me) so i’m gonna like. shhhhiiiiiiffft.

i project on characters a lot so at this point it’s difficult to distinguish if some of my characterisation things are like, actually characterisation things? or just me venting, so like, take nothing i say as canon, but also,,, akdsjf we love a man who bottles up his emotions.

because rantaro just doesn’t have the TIME to be crying all over the place. he was probably a total wreck when he lost his first sister. and his second. and maybe even his third. but then he started to gather his composure, more and more. because if there’s anything that rantaro has in excess, it’s composure. the more losses he suffers the more of a shield he builds up. and the self hatred and the guilt and the blame and the responsibility are piling up and up and up, but god he hates it when other people see him sad, because he needs to be the strong one, he can’t just pile that up on other people. that’s not their weight to carry, and besides, he’s the older brother, he should be able to deal with his own problems. he’d just be burdening the people he cares about by letting them see his demons.

and then he doesn’t have any coping mechanisms because he never lets himself feel enough to cope, and when people get close enough to actually CARE about him, when people notice he’s upset or struggling and offer him help, he doesn’t know how to deal with it-- and god he hates lashing out at people but it’s so much easier to deal with the consequences of being mean than the consequences of breaking down. only conflict is scary when he’s one of the causes so he needs time to recover, and well, what better way to do that than to get on a plane or a boat and go look for his sisters? after all he’s wasting time whenever he’s just sitting around, they’re still out there and he needs to find them, so might as well just keep pushing himself to the limits, because it’s his fault they’re lost anyway...

something mukuro said to rantaro in the talent development plan stuck in my brain. like, initially it’s just a funny and cute interaction (rantaro even blushes and a blushing rantaro is a GOOD FUCKING RANTARO) but when i thought about it more i was like.... huh. hm. angst ideas. mukuro makes a joke about rantaro going over to her stand at the festival to flirt with her-- i think that’s the context, i know it’s play-boy related-- and rantaro assures her (as he always does) that he’s not that kind of guy, and mukuro agrees, saying she was just pulling his leg and that he seems like the kind of person who gets dumped because he doesn’t show his emotions enough. rantaro laughs, blushes, and says “haha, not touching that one,” and akdjfnnnnnn god mukuro you’re so blunt i love you fkdjf but wow. i usually have rantaro as not having dated anyone, just because i feel like he kind of hyperfocuses on finding his sisters? and given that he’s like sixteen (seventeen at the MOST) there’s not much of a timeline for when his sisters got lost. in my fic search i had to cram all the losses into a four-year period and damn that was rough. anyway i just don’t think he’d really prioritise romance. but that reaction implies that that’s EXACTLY his experience with romance, which makes a bit of sense because mukuro is ridiculously sharp, and also it’s,, it’s just sad idk poor rantaro. getting dumped because he’s like the emotional equivalent of a doorknob when it comes to his own feelings.

i do think rantaro is a bit cowardly. not in the sense that he’d shy away from danger-- i think he’d RUSH INTO IT HEAD FIRST because he’s a man or whatever, i know he respects women but he does seem to hold some of those very stereotypically masculine ideals of constantly protecting those around him, which is like.... ok toxic masculinity mcgee can u and kaito stop throwing hands every time u see each other ty-- but more in the sense that he avoids,,, confrontation. emotional confrontation just ain’t his thing. and i think he’d rather run away from it or otherwise find some way of ignoring it than try to address his problems.

he would, with that in mind, probably try to associate with people who don’t push the matter. kiyo and mukuro, for example. they both have a fair amount of baggage themselves so they’d probably be respectful. ryoma is lowkey enough that he just, he wouldn’t bring that shit up, that’s uncool. i also think rantaro would get along REALLY WELL with kaito, and i actually don’t think kaito would pull his sidekick stuff with him? just because in a way they’re kind of kindred spirits, and i think kaito would see an ally in rantaro before seeing someone to try to nurture, so they’d probably have some kind of a truce like, if you don’t force me to be vulnerable, i won’t force you. one of the reasons why i love amamota so much is because it involves the two of them growing to care about each other beyond that sort of unhealthy camaraderie and breaking down each other’s barriers and i just..... hhnnfhhdkfj they could be so good for each other but nobody wants to talk about thatjslfkj

you weren’t asking for my amamota mess lmao sorry anon i get sidetracked SO easily. but yeah, amami gravitates towards people who wouldn’t try to get him to be more honest with himself. and i honestly think the v3 cast would be pretty good about that overall, except for shuichi who is a detective and has a habit of sticking his nose in places it shouldn’t be, but i see no reason to write that out because amami’s ftes already display that beautifully. (well, that’s a lie, i’m absolutely plotting out a slowburn in my head already that involves shuichi stripping down his walls one by one, but forget about all of that rn we don’t need to talk about why amasaimota is my ot3.) also he is softer on childish people like ouma and himiko. ain’t nobody wants to TALK TO ME about how brilliant it would be if rantaro and hiyoko were friends because hiyoko has such problems in that department and he would take one look at her and go hm. i’m adopting her. and he’s so fucking patient and nice and she’d lose the will to make fun of him and i have to do ALL THE GODDAMN WORK AROUND HERE but it’s fine. at least i get to write it.

i’ve described the fundamentals of his characterisation pretty well by now i think. i have some throwaway headcanons, like uhh,,

he’s claustrophobic

plays the guitar and the ukulele

he prefers warm weather and perishes in the cold

high pain tolerance

he’s a Good Cook

doesn’t like sex jokes (they make him uncomfortable)

asexual (i do like a good demisexual hc at all times of day tho)

master of piggyback rides

does his own piercings

impulsive as hell

gets lost easily but can always find his way back

has a lot of scars from travels

hands are rough and calloused (again from travels)

morning person

smells like evergreen (you know i had to, you know i did)

Radiates Heat Like A Fucking Toaster Oven

good hugs

hates tying his shoelaces

likes being the big spoon :)

has a tongue piercing

i said “some throwaway headcanons” but i ended up listing way more than i mean to. i’ll make a separate list of my rantaro headcanons someday and talk about them all in detail but for now, uh, there’s that.

SO AS FOR THE RANTARO CHARACTERISATIONS I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE:

god where to fucking begin. actually i know exactly where to begin. it’s my least favourite one just because, like i said at the very beginning, rantaro is a subversive character. i mean i think he’s kind of a low hanging fruit when it comes to that. there are plenty of other subversive characters in the dr series but rantaro is like that. you expect a flirt and u get,,, a sweetheart. but then some people (usually the ones who ship him with female characters exclusively though i will see it on occasion in an amasai or oumami fic) decide to throw that out the window and make him a total playboy!! and listen, i have no problem with people who are a little flirty. we’re kids!! flirt ur heart out!!! and hey, that’s not what this is about but y’know what? so long as everything is safe, sane, and consensual, then yeah!! exercise your sexual freedom and sleep with whoever you want to!!! i don’t think there’s anything wrong with messing around a little, dating who u wanna and experimenting with ur tastes and preferences. if rantaro WAS a playboy, then there would be nothing wrong with that. i would love him just the same because he’s such a fundamentally GOOD character.

except that.... he’s.......... NOT. you slaughter one of the biggest aspects of his character by throwing away what matters to him and making him some hunky-deep-voice-dreamboat dude meant to sweep kaede/tsumugi/whomsteverthefuck off her feet. rantaro is one of those characters where he’s so blatantly not that kind of person, and it’s like. it’s an affront, almost, to portray him that way? and i do believe you should have the freedom to write what you want, since we’re in that age (aside from romanticised pedophilia and incest; that shit ain’t cute, i say this often but pro-ship DNI) where u should be able to take some liberties, but it’s just. hnnn. it’s so frustrating. rantaro does not know how to smolder! if he DID smolder, he wouldn’t even realise he was doing it. he doesn’t have people lying at his feet, okay? he’s too flaky for that. i wouldn’t say he’s unreliable but he definitely ain’t at school as much as he should be.

another one that i hate: st-stalker? what the fuck? that is not sexy that is creepy and weird?

another another one that i hate: yandere? what the FUCK??? that is not sexy that is glorified ABUSE???? the yandere trope is AWFUL bc you’re taking a controlling relationship and turning it into a fetish. NO. if he limits ur contact with other people, if he follows u everywhere, if he threatens ur loved ones, if he tries to control you, ladies and gents and nonbinaries, he’s not a yandere, he’s an abuser and you need a fucking restraining order. actually, people of ANY gender or sex can perpetuate this behaviour and IT IS NOT CUTE. I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT BOUNDARIES U SET IN PLACE, IF YOUR FREEDOM IS BEING RESTRICTED THAT IS ABUSE.

hate it when people make rantaro violent. hate it when people make rantaro a murderer. hate it when people make rantaro controlling. hate it when people make rantaro overtly sexual. some kind of sultry deep voice dominant kind of figure. dude, what the fuck? i don’t,, want to make any public comments about sex positions because i think that’s kind of Strange to just talk about on a post, but i do think that the way people portray him for their smuts is,,, idk it’s weird. i’m not gonna kinkshame u but like. :eyes:

i will however accept rantaro as a thrillseeker, or a highstrung rich boy, or a total space cadet, or a himbo, or a cryptid. these are all very good interpretations of the Mans. just, like. be wary of making him two dimensional. a good character is multifaceted. if you can take a trait that clashes with all of these and SELL ME ON IT, i will buy it. if u give me good justifications, or even just good writing?? then i will accept it.

the long and the short of it is, anon, he’s my favourite so i think about him a lot. i love writing rantaro. he’s just, he’s a Guy. y’know? He’s A Good Dude, If You’ll Give Him A Shot. :) we don’t get to see very much of him but i think that there’s plenty of material if you overanalyse everything, which, as you probably all know by now,,,, i absolutely do.

thank you for the ask, this was a delight to spend an hour talking about.

[virginpornstar]

What I Learned From All Of My Hookups In 2020

I knew 2020 would be less slutty than 2017-2019 due to the fact I wasn’t living in ATL. I still had plans to travel monthly, discover new cities and new men, and be a slut everywhere I go. Covid-19 ruined that. So 2020 was far less slutty than I had anticipated, but I still had a lot of fun this year. We have to roll with the punches, and readjust our plans when the plague strikes. I still learned a lot about myself and my sexual interests with each new penis that entered my body. Here’s what I learned from all of my hookups i n 2020! 

1. GUYS THAT DELETE AND CONSTANTY REMAKE NEW DATING APP PROFILES HAVE MENTAL ISSUES

Hooking up with New Castle started off fun, but then he kept acting weird. I asked him why he’d always delete his Grindr profile then make a new one every other week, then he’d go off on me for asking why. I did realize he’d make profiles advertising himself as a top, then ones as vers, then others as a bottom. A clear sign the man didn’t even know what he wants. We had some good times until he started acting crazy, and then randomly blocking men when I couldn’t hookup. 

2. GUYS TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY NOW THAT I’VE LIVED IN ATL

Left Tackle and I had been hooking up off and on since 2016. Yet suddenly in 2020 he wanted to start acting differently, like he’s too good for me. Um what? He also acted grossed out and disgusted after following all my ATL sexual adventures, and I think he started to think I was tainted after reading about me hooking up with a poz guy while on vacation. Oh well. Fuck buddies aren’t meant to last forever. I will not have a guy treating me like he’s too good for me, when in fact I’ve always been too good for him. 

3. I NEED TO STOP HOOKING UP THE NIGHT BEFORE VACATION

I noticed a pattern of when I’m supposed to have a slutty vacation weekend I end up hooking up the night before I leave. Which either makes me dickmatized and not horny on the trip, or I get my hole ripped and then I can’t even fully enjoy hooking up while away. I’m still gonna fuck, just not as much or as enjoyably if I hadn’t gotten fucked the night before. I still enjoyed my encounter with Big D, even if he did rip me. 

4. I CAN’T STAND VIRGOS

Philly Jawn and I had been following each other online and flirting here and there for years. Then when I was staying the weekend in Philly he and I finally made up. it started off well at first, and we even fucked, only for him to act distant and start ghosting me afterwards. Fuck that nigga. I can’t stand Virgo men since they always do this distant shit, and are terrible communicators. If you’re not interested then say so. Don’t waste my fucking time. 

5. FORT LAUDERDALE WAS MORE FUN THAN MIAMI

Miami was my last vacation before Covid-19 plagued the earth. It’s also the last time I flew anywhere. I was so excited to hookup with all these hot Miami men, yet somehow Fort Lauderdale was way better than Miami. The bathhouse was definitely far superior in Fort Lauderdale than Miami at least, and I had way more fun hooking up with guys there than the bathhouse in Miami. 

6. MIAMI IS TO LATINO GAYS WHAT ATL IS TO BLACK GAYS

I hooked up with so many latino men in Miami/Fort Lauderdale. They are the dominant population. It made me nostalgic for my younger years. I didn’t really get with many latinos in ATL, since black men rule that city. I had many latino lovers in the past, so it made me a little nostalgic. Sometimes a latin lover is all you need to give you great vacation sex. 

7. I’M STILL NOT POZ FRIENDLY BUT MAKING PROGRESS

Miami has long been the biggest HiV hot spot in America. Their infection rates are far worse than Atlanta. So it did seem a bit fitting to hookup with a poz guy for the first time while in the HIV capital. When in Rome...granted I only hooked up with him because he was the only cute guy at the bathhouse at the time. If there was anyone more appealing, I wouldn’t have settled for a poz guy. I also wasn’t comfortable enough to do anal, but it’s still progress to have hooked up with a poz guy without penetration. 

8. THE PHILLY BATHHOUSE WAS MORE FUN THAN I EXPECTED

I love checking out the bathhouses in every city I travel to. I didn’t have high expectations for the Philly bathhouse since I knew there wasn’t going to be a pool or hot tub, and those are my favorrite amenities at bathhouses. Yet surprisingly the Philly bathhouse was poppin, and I went on a Wednesday afternoon. It was very diverse, and although I didn’t fuck anyone, I still had a good time. 

9. IT’S FUN TOPPING SOMEONE’S DAD

I always thought it was hot hooking up with a dick that’s created life. I hooked up with this DL divorced father of 2, he was young and around my age, but still hot knowing he had kids. I topped him, and then he became my plug. I do miss the weed provided more than I miss him. 

10. I DON’T MISS THE BUMS IN THE SOUTH

My northern hookups have come bearing gifts. Weed, money, etc...I don’t miss the bums in Atlanta always begging for handouts. Asking for money, transportation, asking for shit. I’ve had so many guys give me shit without even asking like my DL Latino lover. Maybe I should remain in the north, although ATL keeps calling my name. 

11. WHITE MEN LOVE BLOWJOBS

One thing I miss about Atlanta is the men there loved to fuck. Being in the suburbs with mostly old white men and DL guys I’ve realized most of them just want head. I used to be oral only, until I got on PrEP and lost a relationship to never wanting to fuck. So now I love to fuck, but keep encountering guys, like Mushroom Man, where all they want to do is get their dick sucked. Sorry, oral only isn’t enough for me to have a good time. 

12. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CATFISH A GUY TO GET THE DICK THAT GHOSTED YOU

Chubby Chaster and I spent hours talking one night on Grindr, then he started ignoring me the next day. Oh hell no! I will not be ignored. I got into the whole anonymous profile thing briefly after my friend encouraged me, and weirdly so many guys are into that. I did end up getting Chubby Chaser to come over, and I kenw as soon as he saw me he must’ve been pissed to realize it was me. Oh well. I still made him cum. 

13. WAY TOO MANY DL BOTTOMS IN THE SUBURBS

When I think of DL guys, at least the ones that turn me on, I think of guys with girlfriends/wives that are masc men you’d never be able to tell fuck guys on the DL. They’re also tops. Yet somehow all the DL guys with wives/girlfriends/baby mamas where I am now seem to all be bottoms. WTF! How can you fuck your girlfriend’s pussy, but somehow can’t use your dick to fuck a guy’s ass? Yet you want to let guys fuck you in the ass? That’s not fun for me. I top like once or twice a year, yet hooked up with so many DL bottoms this year. 

14. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

Gorilla and I have hooked up off and on for years. He’s a Scorpio too, and we never get along. Yet the sex is good. He’s been in an off/on relationshp for years, and seems to only hit me up whenever they’re off. Yet we fucked, then suddenly he started being distant afterwards, and then posting his man on social media. Ugh. I can’t stand that shit. I’ve been in that shit where I fuck new guys whenever my ex and I were off, and then when we’re on again ignore the new guys. I hate that cycle, and it’s not fair to the new people I got involved with. So I hate getting involved in that cycle in other people’s relationships since I wanted consistent dick. 

15. NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU’LL MEET YOUR FUTURE SUGAR DADDY

I kinda only hooked up with Gasolina because i’d not had dick in months. I was a little desperate. I wasn’t that attracted to his pics, but he had a big dick, and I’m glad we did end up hooking up. Since he turned into my sugar daddy and I had many fun times this summer with him. 

16. INVITING OVER A THIRD CAN SALVAGE A TERRIBLE HOOKUP

Panty Man got on my damn nerves. We rented a hotel together for the night, even though we barely knew each other and had only texted/talked on a dating app before. I knew as soon as we began talking, this wasn’t going to work, but I didn’t feel like leaving since I paid for half. I invited over New Castle, and then things turned into a threesome. They didn’t touch each other, but both fucked me. I had a good time, because I invited over another guy. I wouldn’t recommend inviting over a third to salvage terrible sex with your boyfriend, but it works for random hookups. 

17. I LIKE CORRUPTING GOOD BOYS

I knew Rocky and I didn’t have any long term potential. He lived too far for me, and his health issues were something I don’t think I could deal with. But we still had some nice times together. He was such a good church boy so I had fun getting him to drink, try edibles, and even wanted him to try poppers. I love introducing men to new things. 

18. I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER DATE A WHITE MAN AGAIN

It’s crazy to think I wasn’t even really attracted to black men until 4 years ago, and now I don’t see myself getting serious with any man that isn’t black. Farmer J was the last white boy I went out with/hooked up with, and he will hopefully be the last for the foreseeable future. I’ve had great encounters with white men before, but I never came close to an actual relationship with a white guy. Now after the ignorant comments Farmer J said, and it’s a lot of the ignorance that comes with dating a white man that is attracted to black people, but knows nothing about black people. His offensive comments that he never would’ve realized are offensive, and his voting history were a complete deal breaker for me. Completely reminded me why once you go black, you never go back. 

19. GUYS ACT SKEPTICAL ABOUT FILMING YOUR SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS THEN GET SUPER INTO ONCE THE CAMERA IS ON

I saw The Reverend again for the first time in 4 years. I wanted to record more content for my OnlyFans. I knew he’d be skeptical due to the nature of his career, but I have masks and know what I’m doing. I’m surprised how into he got when the camera was on. I always turn my tops into the director since I’m too high on poppers to worry about angles, but it was a fun time. We got some really good footage for my channel. 

20. A RANDOM HOOKUP CAN LEAD TO A RELATIONSHIP

Before BMore Bae entered my life I wasn’t looking for love. I had just launched my OnlyFans, wanted to record content, make money, enjoy life, save up before moving to ATL, and then boom. He comes over, he’s cuter than expected, and I caught feelings. I caught feelings fast. It’s been an roller coaster, but it’s so true. Love enters your life when you least expect it. I’m so glad it did. We’ve already made so many beautiful memories together, and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us. 

[mittensmorgul]

Today on the TNT loop, a wonderful direct callback to 15.09 and 15.10, via 4.15, 4.16 and 4.17...

I need to start out by reminding everyone that the entire purpose of s4 was to manipulate Sam and Dean into “playing their roles,” even before they knew their roles existed as roles. Cosmically fated to act out a specific story for the entertainment of a bored God. Remember, they’re about to learn of the existence of “Chuck the Prophet” who’s been writing their lives down, in explicit detail, and publishing them as a series of pulpy horror novels. Hooray, 4.18, up next for me.

But I really need to pause here, because the sort of manipulations that Sam and Dean suffered through in 15.10, while I’ve already pointed out a lot of other “silly” episodes they referenced:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/190430063655/mittensmorgul-episodes-i-expect-1510-to-remind

I’m gonna now add 4.17 to that list, too, because holy HECK.

Remember the setup to this episode? 4.15 and 4.16 both? Where Dean had been DIRECTLY MANIPULATED into stopping Alistair from breaking another seal-- to “kill death twice” by ritually murdering two reapers-- a hunt that Cas “tricked” Sam and Dean into taking on by literally making them think that Bobby had sent them on that hunt.

Then 4.16 used Uriel to manipulate both Dean AND Cas into believing they needed to torture information out of Alistair. The goal was to break both Dean AND Cas here, because Uriel knew all along that Alistair was literally just a distraction, a diversion from his own actions, recruiting angels for Team Lucifer and murdering those who refused to join him. But also breaking Dean’s will to just... do what he’s told. Because Dean himself was never destined to be anything more than a tool to Heaven, a vessel for Michael to wear to the apocalypse. Of course, Dean didn’t know any of that yet, and neither did Cas. He knew Dean was “important,” but truly didn’t know why. 

At the end of 4.16, lying in a hospital bed, Dean felt hopeless:

Castiel: It's not blame that falls on you, Dean, it's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it. Dean: Lucifer? The Apocalypse? What does that mean? Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean! Castiel: I don't know. Dean: Bull. Castiel: I don't. Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you. Dean: Well, then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not—I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me.

Tell me this isn’t super similar to his state earlier in s15. Let’s say... at the beginning of 15.06, holed up in his room in his bathrobe, bingewatching tv shows and eating cereal directly from the box. By the end of the episode, he still wasn’t sure what was real and what was Chuck’s doing in his life, and he’s absolutely right to question that, given his lifetime of experience being manipulated in exactly this way by higher cosmic powers.

In 4.17, that higher cosmic power was Zachariah, literally giving Sam and Dean alternate memories and directly inserting them into entirely different lives to prove a point. In 4.17, the Winchesters had their lifetime of knowledge of the Supernatural excised from them-- and even all the practicalities of hunting like “how to buy guns,” and “how salt can repel ghosts,” and “how to fight.” Throughout the episode they were forced to re-learn all of these skills for themselves, ironically using Ghostfacers videos about ghost hunting that directly referenced information that the Ghostfacers had learned from “The Winchesters.” Very much like how the Winchesters were “depowered” in 15.10, and yet... they were saved because of their prior relationship WITH GARTH, in which they had not only saved Garth’s life a couple of times, but had also learned things and imparted knowledge and information TO GARTH in the past. 

I guess what I’m attempting to point out here is the direct parallel to Chuck’s active manipulation of Sam and Dean in 15.10. They may not have had their memories removed like Zachariah did to them, but they’ve been reset to a similar sort of “baseline” status where NOTHING they do actually works this time. It’s... it’s almost a perfect inverse of 4.17.

Literally the episode leading up to the first appearance of Chuck The Author in canon.

Tell me Dabb isn’t explicitly suggesting an inverse parallel here, framing everything as Dean’s CHOICE, when it’s been one grand manipulation to pressing him into making that choice through any means necessary-- up to and including direct deceit and false narrative:

Zachariah: Believe me, I had no interest in popping down here into one of these smelly things. But after the unfortunate situation with Uriel, I felt it necessary to pay a visit, get all my ducks in a row. Dean: I am not one of your ducks. Zachariah: Starting with your attitude. Dean: So, what? This was all some sort of a lesson? Is that what you're telling me? Wow. Very creative.

and

Zachariah: I know, I know. You're not strong enough. You're scared. You've got daddy issues. You can't do it, right? Dean: Angel or not, I will stab you in your face. Zachariah: All I'm saying is it's how you look at it. Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things. Save people, maybe even the world. All the while you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse. It's a gift. So for God's sakes, Dean, quit whining about it. Look around. There are plenty of fates worse than yours. So are you with me? You wanna go steam yourself another latte? Or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?

Zachariah KNEW the bigger plan all along. Here he showed Dean an “alternate life” that was entirely manufactured to be a “false choice.” Dean, because of who he is as a person, would never have chosen that corporate falsehood. Just like he rejected Zachariah’s intended lesson in 5.04. And Gabriel’s lesson in 5.08.

Dean... doesn’t want to play his role. His role sucks. It’s a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse, after all... oh... wait, that’s a direct quote from 5.09, aka another episode where Chuck is directly involved, and directly manipulates them into a hunt... Dean... is not a fan...

But... we also learn something that I still think is true, and that I still think is IMPORTANT to s15. And important to Chuck as a character on this show we’re watching. I really don’t think he’s omniscient. I don’t think he can actually see every possible outcome. I don’t think he can control everything. But I think, and will always think, that because of Free Will, his ability to truly influence the outcome of his story is hindered. Unless he can use everything he CAN manipulate to crush Sam and Dean’s free will... to force them into making choices directly against their own interest, because of their perceived situation, or in this new post 14.20 universe, Chuck’s perceived intent for them.

Sam and Dean (and Cas! remember this was also about his discovery of the “rot” in Heaven, and how he himself had been used and manipulated into helping start the apocalypse) spent s4 thinking they were doing the right thing, because they’d been lied to from the start. When they questioned their path, questioned each other, their actions were met with often comically implausible verging on outright ridiculous situations that nudged them back into this cosmically “destined” series of events.

And Chuck’s history of this is directed at Sam and Dean in different ways-- Sam through the psychological manipulation and emotional angst, and Dean through physically hindering him. Chuck needed to break Sam’s trust in Dean, and replace it with the false belief that he was actually doing the right thing back in s4:

SAM: Dean’s not... he's not Dean lately. Ever since he got out of hell. He needs help. CHUCK: So you got to carry the weight? SAM: Well, he's looked out for me my whole life. I can't return the favor? CHUCK: Yeah, sure you can. I mean, if that's what this is. SAM: What else would it be? CHUCK: I don't know. Maybe the demon blood makes you feel stronger? More in control? SAM: No. That's not true. CHUCK: I'm sorry, Sam. I know it's a terrible burden – feeling that it all rests on your shoulders. SAM: Does it? All rest on my shoulders? CHUCK: That seems to be where the story's headed. SAM: Am I strong enough to stop Lilith tonight? CHUCK: I don't know. I haven't seen that far yet.

Chuck needs to break Sam’s will in 15.09, but Dean? Dean he needed to break his car, break him physically, and break his belief in his own choices and actions. Break his belief in his own identity. Because Dean’s will is not so easily shattered. He’s still willing to punch God in the face, for all of this.

And that’s how we end up with 15.10...

bonus destiel content: Dean’s very first prayer to Cas, ever, is asking him for help to stop Chuck’s prophecy from coming true. Dean question’s Cas’s “mission,” i.e. the thing Dean is unaware Cas has been questioning himself all this time, in the face of Dean’s refusal to just sit around and wait for Chuck’s prophecies to happen to them. Cas supplies him with the bit of information Dean needs to interfere and break the prophecy. I’ve written about the importance of that act before:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187983341865/i-always-thought-anna-said-only-an-angel-can-kill

(and it bothers the everloving fuck out of me that people still don’t see that Chuck is a flim-flam artist of the highest order, and is the most unreliable narrator in the history of unreliable narrators, because not only is he biased to his own view of the story, he has the power to make the story conform to his own views, even if he can’t fully control each of the characters like glorified puppets)

and then Lizbob has also written about this scene and its import:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/169437649690/elizabethrobertajones-dean-cas-are-in-love-a

which is incredible when paired with Dean’s most recent prayer to Cas in 15.09, not about a problem he needs help fixing, but directly about their relationship... to quote Layla from 1.12, speaking on the subject of prayer, there’s a miracle right there.

[peakysabrina]

Dark Horse

You guys, OMG, thank you for the support. I’m finna post here the first chapter of the fic I asked y’all’s opinion on. It’s also finna be on AO3 ‘cause I’m trying to test out how many fics I can post there before it kicks me the f out (that’s a joke). Here it be, loves. Here it be. 

Warning: long af; violent as f y’all

The start is the same that I posted before, but I did add quite a bit to finish the first paragraph. 

Surely the nazis were the only issue that needed dealing with, right? There wouldn't be anyone else: no Billy Boys, no Italians, no Jews, no nothing. Everything would be perfect, if only Mosley fucked right off and did not insist that fascism was the only way forward. The United Kingdom could not descend into the kind of chaos that warranted ghettos, mass murder, and work camps. No one in their right mind could vote for something like that, no one in their right mind could support something like that. That would be the worst possible mindset for the aftermath of the New York crash, and even someone who was borderline illiterate could see that. Besides, Tommy said so, and despite their grievances, Tommy was still the smartest of them. 

Well, the answer was no: the nazis were not the only issue that needed dealing with. In fact, they weren't even the most pressing issue for the Shelbies and their personal safety. That award would go to Georgia Gold, better known as Gigi. She was made even more terrifying by the fact that no one had ever seen the youngest of the Gold clan, although they'd heard bits of information here and then. This time, though, they'd been told that Gigi, along with a group of five people, was making her way to Birmingham. An eighteen-year-old girl coming to a city was normal, as was bringing some friends along was.

Only Gigi Gold was not interested in partying. What she wanted was her father's corpse, and revenge. Revenge against the nazis? No. Revenge against whoever killed her father? Maybe. Revenge against the Billy Boys? No, that was dealt with. Revenge against the family which had gotten her father killed? Yes. That logic was probably flawed, but she obviously did not give half a shit. In her head, Aberama had been hired by the Shelbies, had even gotten engaged to one of them, and then had gotten killed while at their service. Same went for Bonnie, her only brother. Now, the average eighteen-year-old traveller woman knew her way around horses, but her main skill had to be pushing out healthy children. That being said, was this an impending threat? A serious threat on their lives? Well, yes, yes it was. Because Georgia Gold was classed as a psychopath by the good people of Swansea, where she used to camp out. The newspapers were obsessed with the creature, selling copy after copy with rumours and even with some truth, when something of the criminal sort happened. 

Knowing the girl was on her way caused for a rush toward Shelby Manor: Finn ran, Arthur took his son Billy by car, and even Ada and Karl decided to come up from London. 

"Why would she do this?" Ada asked, pacing around the living room, honestly thinking that it was all a bit too much. She'd read the news, and thought that it was hilarious that a person named Gigi caused such panic. 

"She's daddy's girl" Arthur joked, choking on the ice on his whisky. "She is rotten on the inside. Far more rotten than her dad"

"Rotten?" Finn asked, clutching his gun to his chest, looking at the windows as if Gigi Gold herself was going to come in through there and kill them all on sight. "What do you mean, she's rotten on the inside?"

"He means she goes on killing sprees when she's bored, and bathes in childrens' blood" Arthur replied, sitting on an armchair, with his son on his lap. Only then did the oldest Shelby realise his own son, and other three of those present, were children. "It's a rumour, it's not true"

"Fucks sake, Arthur..." Ada sighed, head on her hands. "Of course she doesn't do that" she added to Karl, who looked like he was about to cry. As for Ruby and Charlie, they seemed to be numb, probably a bit too used to their father being threatened.

“She does though” Tommy muttered, so quietly only Arthur heard him. “Not children’s blood, but she does bathe in the bloody of people who’ve wronged her. And that would be us”

“I’ll take the children upstairs” Lizzie exploded, barely believing the depth of shit they were now in. If some crazy bitch laid one single nail on her children, Lizzie would be the one bathing in the blood of her enemies, and that was a fucking promise.

“What can we do?” Finn asked, clenching his hands into tight fists, as to not let anyone else see he was shaking. “Anything? Will she get us, no matter what we do?”

“No, no. We’re ready for her, and Johnny Dogs managed to get a message to her. Gigi will parlay, we’ll have a chance to remind her that we too suffered great loss, and that…”

Tommy didn’t get the chance to finish what he was saying: the sound of horses arrived to the Shelby Manor library, and every single one of them rose from their seats, but remained paralyzed, frozen in their place, not knowing what to do.

“Sir, there’s a… a… a young lady at the door. She says you’re expecting her” Frances informed. She had been told there was a group of people expected to arrive soon, but didn’t know anything else. Perhaps the only piece of information she possessed that none of the Shelbies did was the appearance of the visitor, which had made her hesitate before letting the shockingly young woman enter the manor.

“I am. Please, send her in” Tommy responded, smoothing his shirt over his chest, and giving his family a final look before Frances returned. Their hearts beat in synch, in a rapid pace, their palms wet with sweat. Even Tom, the confident head of the business, and of their family too, seemed nervous. She would’ve been searched at the door, there was no idea she could bring weapons to the inside of his home, she had said she would parlay; but what if it all went to shit? What if… what if one of them didn’t leave that library? What if Gigi Gold was every bit the monster she was made out to be, and what if she decided to make an example out of them, out of the children? It had been so stupid to keep the kids at the manor, they should’ve gone to Finn’s, to Arthur’s, to the betting shop, to Johnny Dogs’ camp, to Charlie, anywhere but under the same roof as Georgia…

“You must be the Shelby family. It is an honour to meet you in person, thank you for welcoming me into your home” Gigi Gold said, entering the room and stealing the oxygen from everyone’s lungs. She was young, had dirty blonde hair, that became bright red near the tips. Her limbs were slim, like she didn’t eat enough, and never had; she had eyes the colour of the sky on a sunny day, and lips the colour of blood. Whether it was makeup or not, it wasn’t important: she looked like she wouldn’t hurt a fly, let alone do things that warranted protection.

“Georgia… or is it Gigi? Which one would you prefer?” Tommy asked, the only one capable of functioning normally, and of walking up to the visitor and shake her hand.

“Whichever you prefer, mister Shelby” Gigi replied, looking around with a mildly interested look on her face. Her eyes lingered on Ada, and then on Finn, who had never been more uncomfortable in the days of his life. Not only was the way she looked at him enough to instil pure fear in his heart, but she looked at his face first, only to move on to his neck next, probably plotting to bite him and suck his blood. “Are these your siblings?”

“Yes, yes they are. This is Ada, that’s Arthur, and here’s Finn” Tom explained, signalling each of them. “We had another brother, named John, but he passed away”

“My condolences” the young girl said, shifting her attention from Arthur to Tommy. He offered her a chair, and she took it, soothing her dress over her thighs. The garment was black, a bit worn down in some places, but well made, nonetheless.

“We extend the condolences to you, Georgia. For your brother Bonnie, and your father. He meant a great deal to us, and to my aunt Polly in particular. He was a true friend of this family, and he is greatly missed” Ada decided to go ahead and get it out of the way.

“Thank you” the visitor said, bowing her head slightly. Whether she wore heavy black because she was in mourning, or it was just her colour of choice, none of them knew; what was for certain was that, upon further inspection, it was slightly stained near the hem. “I came to your home to discuss the matter of my father’s corpse. I understand he’s been buried in Birmingham cemetery”

“He has” Tom nodded, convinced that the lavish tombstone would appease the man’s family. “I can take you to see his resting place, if you’d like”

“Yes, I would appreciate it, thank you. But Thomas, you understand that I didn’t come all the way from Wales to see my father’s tomb. I can see that you do, and your siblings too” Gigi warned, crossing her legs at the ankle, and looking down at her riding boots, before looking at each of the Shelbies, one by one, again.

“I understand that, and that’s why I asked you here, so we could talk, before any rash decisions are made”

“It took me well over a week to get here, Thomas; my decision has been pondered, and thoroughly discussed” she countered, hands on her lap. The two of them looked like they were discussing a business deal, and not whether or not Gigi could go ahead and butcher every single member of that family, men, women, and children.

“And what is your decision, may I ask?” Arthur interrupted, unwilling to be left out of that conversation. How was it possible that Tommy hadn’t killed Georgia the moment she had crossed his property line? Why were they still talking, instead of shooting her?

“Who murdered my father, Arthur Shelby?”  Gigi asked, shifting her attention to the oldest Shelby, and silencing him with the look she shot him. He no longer wanted to talk, he no longer even wanted to be where he was; he wanted to pick up Linda and Billy, and run to the furthest possible place from Birmingham.

“We don’t know that, Georgia, but we are working on finding out who it was” Tommy informed, clutching his glass of whisky. “All we ask is for some patience, some collaboration even; once we find who it was who betrayed us and killed Aberama, we will hand him, or her, or them, to you”

“Mister Shelby, I don’t think you understand: don’t you think I’ve waited long enough? Haven’t I got enough questions? My sisters are broken, mister Shelby. My sister Esmeralda cannot get out of bed, such is her grief. Bonnie was a sweet boy, and my father may have had his flaws, but he gave us life, and brought us up. We had already lost our saint of a mother, and now we lost a brother and a father. How do you think I feel, to know I lost two family members the second they started working for you?” Gigi asked, not blinking one single time.

“Will killing us solve anything? Will killing us bring them back?” Ada responded, desperate to know whether she would have to live in fear for the rest of her life, or even if she would make it through the night.

“No, I don’t believe it will, Ada Shelby. But wouldn’t you want revenge against the people who put your family in harm’s way?”

“Oh, please! Your father was a killer for hire, little girl. He would’ve ended up dead whether he worked for us or not” Ada dismissed, waving her hand to emphasize her words. “And your brother, Bonnie? With the fights and all that? We didn’t force him into any of that, and he would’ve been gone sooner or later”

“We would rather it be later, than at twenty-two years of age. How old is your kid brother? That one there, with the gun. How old is he?” Gigi enquired, signalling Finn with her head.

“I’m twenty-one” the boy ended up responding, his voice hardly noticeable at all, such was the fear running through him. Finn wasn’t exactly the bravest of the Shelbies, nor was he the sharpest; but one thing he knew for sure: he had a gun, and if his life was in any type of danger, he would have to gather his strength and so something against that demon.

“How would you feel if I shot him dead, right now? Wouldn’t you want me dead, Ada? Wouldn’t it be lush to see me bleeding out on the floor? Wouldn’t you want to rip my heart out and eat it raw for dinner?” Gigi hissed, getting closer and closer to Ada, who couldn’t help but to notice that what seemed to be a red hair tint was actually a liquid, something sticking to the other woman’s hair, making it that colour. And there was really only one thing which smelled like that, that looked like that.

“Yes, I would. And it’s still not too late for me to see it, if you do as much as lift a finger to any of my family, I will have it done and dusted before the day ends” Ada threatened, crossing her arms in front of her chest and looking Gigi Gold right in the eyes.

“Oh, I would love to see that” Gigi herself uttered, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Why are you the only one with a pair of balls, eh?”

“Don’t parlay with a man if you want effectiveness, darling. Come to me, and we’ll find a way to get this over with, in a manner that serves the both of us”

[bigskydreaming]

Hi! I'm new to your blog but found a few posts that were about a JayTom ship, and I was wondering who Tom was? And also you've mentioned in a couple of posts the idea of Jason having a lineup of Titans in his age range and you talked about the Ray and Damage in one. Do you have a whole lineup in mind for them and if so, is there a post on that somewhere?

LOL man, I really need to start pulling all my posts about JayTom and Jay’s lineup of Titans together for some kind of a masterlist, so thanks for the reminder haha. Like, I saw this ask and thought of various posts to point you towards but ugh, I don’t know where any of them are.

Anyway, so. The Tom of JayTom. Aka my ideal ship for Robin!Jason in the series of one-shots about an AU where Jason doesn’t go to Ethiopia in ADITF and thus never dies, that’s kinda grown out of that of a one-shot I started as a writing commission a couple months ago, if anyone else remembers that….the one that was like ‘what if Jason called Dick after the Garzonas incident and Dick sided with Jason’…that one. 

Which then snowballed into ‘well, then I could give Jason his own lineup of Titans who are in the same age range as like a younger gen learning from Dick’s generations of Titans but still older than Tim’s generation of YJ and then eventual Titans.’

Sigh. Oh, me. Right! So! Anyway! Tom in JayTom is Thomas Bronson, the son of JSA member Ted Grant, aka Wildcat. 

Tom and Jason have never ever interacted in canon as far as I know, as I don’t think Tom’s ever appeared outside of JSA and Jason never appeared in that book either before or after his death. BUT by the magic of winging it and Canon Has Not Definitively Contradicted Me, I think the two of them are feasibly in the same age range, so I’m going with them both being fifteen when they meet here.

Tom’s a scrappy, street smart, attitude throwing teenager with daddy issues of his own, lol, thanks to Ted’s general non-existence in his life, for most of it….and he’s also tiny, like, 5′6″ and 135 lbs even at the end of his teenage years. LMAO, I honestly don’t remember, but I think that might be the whole basis of this ship for me, or where it originated. Like, I happened across Tom’s stats as listed on one of the DC wiki sites, and was like, lol oh, he and Robin!Jason could be pint-sized punks together! And then from there, I had the inevitable thought “okay but now make them gay” and then from there I fell into my usual trap of “oh no, it was supposed to be a joke but now I’m taking it seriously and seriously pondering how it could seriously work.”

And then from there it consumed my brain and devoured my life. I swear, it was Dick/Kyle all over again. Ugh, my brain is so problematic.

So anyway, this is Tom:

He’s a werepanther, he can shapeshift into a panther form to fight, which brings up an interesting facet of his character and something I think could be really fun to play off Jason and his own issues…because Tom hates fighting. HATES it. Will run from a fight at any given opportunity rather than engage….but its not because he’s a coward, or doesn’t have heroic instincts of his own, and its not even because he’s not GOOD at fighting.

Its that he’s scared of himself, and scared of hurting whoever he’s fighting…at least more than he means to. Because he has trouble controlling his shift when in fights. His panther form just comes out in response to his own amped up levels of aggression. The fight or flight response for him is actually more like “flight or turn into a raging whirlwind of clawed and fanged fury that can’t stop won’t stop until he’s definitively won his fight….which by extension, usually means his opponent is currently bleeding out on the ground from a few dozen deep claw marks because Panther!Tom’s claws and fangs are SHARP.”

Now pair this fear of his own power with Tom’s natural belligerence and problems with authority at certain points in his life, AND his desire to follow in his hero father’s footsteps as well as his resentment and giving himself grief every time he realizes he even has that desire, because he doesn’t owe his deadbeat dad shit and can’t stand that he nevertheless admires him in a lot of ways and still feels a desire to prove himself to him…

Then pair him up with Jason during his Robin years, going through similar issues and emotions as well as a comparable dynamic with Bruce as him not dying in Ethiopia nevertheless changes nothing about the two of them likely clashing more and more over their views on how to deal with criminals and the appropriate levels of aggression when dealing with them….

And that right there, IMO, is super strong potential for a dynamic couple with a lot in common and yet occasional clashes of their own due to different opinions on which direction to go in so as to address those shared issues…but who likely would never hesitate for a second before backing each other up and presenting a united front against anyone else who tried to give one or the other shit for any reason whatsoever.

Also, I have vastly amused myself with the thought (and the occasional post here and there) of Ted and Bruce continually glowering at each other and blaming each other’s son for being a bad influence on their son, who has never done anything wrong in their life ever, CLEARLY (even if Bruce had actually just grounded Jason the day before. Whatever. Ted doesn’t need to know that).

Anyway, so that’s the JayTom I reference now and then. I’ve always maintained that Jason could really benefit from having a stronger support system of friends distinct to him and not sharing similar dynamics with any of his siblings, so then I was like, well if Jay doesn’t die, and I have him and Dick closer in this AU than they’re usually written as being, plausibly Jason would spend a lot of time at the Tower to get away from Bruce and his own fights with him. 

With Dick being more than able to relate to trouble dealing with Bruce and thus happy to lend a sympathetic ear….and eventually maybe express to Bruce that it might do them both some good for Jason to make more friends his own age and have some normal routines that took him out of the house and Gotham enough that he and Bruce don’t constantly feel like they’re breathing down each other’s necks and keeping tension a constant thing between them. A little space now and then could benefit them both, give them chances to cool off after their fights and actually MISS each other before readdressing the issues.

So then I could see the Titans kinda sending out invitations/recruiting various teen heroes around Jason’s age that they’d all maybe had their eyes on for awhile as kids who could benefit from the same kind of team unity/group support that helped them so much when they were that age just a few years ago themselves.

Which leads me to where I am now which is….I still haven’t settled on a solid lineup, because I came up with too many choices, lol. Basically, my parameters were I wanted characters who could feasibly be said to be in the same age range as Jason and Tom, and didn’t have super strong associations with any other characters that would create any kind of conflict with them being on a Titans team at this point in the timeline instead. And because I’m all about my thematics, I wanted them all to have certain root issues in common that they could all bond over and actually, y’know, support each other with and through. 

(The same way I think Dick’s generation of Titans actually has certain distinct themes and issues that almost all of them share and can relate to in varying ways, which I think has a lot to do with how quickly and fully they all bonded and why they created such lasting friendships and teams between them. But that’s a whole other post, lol.)

So the central shared issues I decided to focus on for Jason’s age group of Titans were: teen/young heroes from abusive homes or runaways, ones with issues and fears stemming from and regarding their own powers or tempers, etc, and misfits who were regarded warily by other or older heroes and considered potentially able to end up on either side of the hero/villain line in the sand.

Which Dick’s generation of Titans, which of course includes Raven, Kory, etc, would not be in agreement with that last part, and thus be all the more likely to recruit these specific teen heroes and be like nyah, nyah, watch how with our help and oh yeah, SUPPORT, they all become the best damn heroes that ever did heroically hero. Suck it, JLA-holes!

(And then Donna would be like, not you Diana, you know we’re cool, its just I gotta do the team solidarity thing and Dick, Garth and Roy are still being Displeased with their mentors/dads at the moment, and also we’re all kinda ticked you guys stole Wally. Btw, we’re stealing the new Green Lantern kid, because Revenge and stuff. He’s ours now, you snooze, you lose).

 So, Jason’s lineup of Titans will consist of some of the following, I’m just not 100% sure which yet, because I have to whittle down the list.

1) Jason (nominally mentored by Dick, but the latter just calls it an excuse for brother bonding time and neither of them make much reference ever to having any kind of actual mentor/protégé relationship like I see the rest of Jay’s lineup having. Plus, Jason unique from the rest already has a mentor in Bruce anyway, so his situation and reasons for being part of this team aren’t quite the same from the others, especially as one of my reasons for this AU was always addressing the issues I have with Bruce’s parenting before the canon event point of Jason’s death, and like…..so like, Bruce does get better once Dick calls out some of his shit with Jason based on his own experiences with Bruce and then later Jason returns the favor by calling out Bruce for taking Dick for granted and no longer putting in the same effort connecting with his eldest and being an actual PARENT to him like he used to).

2) Tom Bronson/Tomcat (who else would act as his personal mentor other than Gar aka Beast Boy aka Changeling, the shapeshifter extraordinaire?)

3) Grant Emerson/Damage (recruited by Roy and his personal protégéand likely BFFs with Jason IMO, as I think their temperaments are complete opposites but Grant’s the kind of kid who would roll his eyes and dolefully follow his troublemaking best friend Jay into likely danger, because his power to blow things up really comes in handy with the kind of scrapes Jason gets himself into and this in turn is a really handy thing to point out in the aftermath of pulling Jason’s butt out of a scrape and then gloating but in the totally mature and “I’m much too nice to actually be gloating, you must be mistaken about what’s happening here” manner in which I see that going down. And in terms of the parameters I mentioned, Grant grew up bounced around abusive foster homes, is watched like a hawk by various groups and heroes because of the huge catastrophic potential of his powers, which he has his own fears about, and also he has no idea who his parents are either, and I imagine him and Jason going on a ‘find out who our real parents are roadtrip’ after graduation or something).

4) Ray Terrill/The Ray (potentially recruited by Kory and her personal protégé. He was briefly a member of Tim’s Young Justice team, but part of the reason he was never that close with the other members was he was a little bit older, just a couple years or so, but enough to put him squarely in Jason’s age range. Also comes from an abusive home, and spent the majority of his childhood living in complete darkness because his asshole uncle told him he had the same powers as his father which meant sunlight would be harmful to him and make him dangerous to be around. When in reality, like his dad, Ray’s powers are fueled by sunlight and he’s like a living solar battery, keeping him afraid to leave the dark was just meant to keep him passive and powerless. Even knowing his uncle lied now, Ray still has long had fears about his own powers, unable to totally shake the fears his uncle instilled in him).

5) Todd Rice/Obsidian (potentially recruited by Raven and her personal protégé. He and his twin sister Jenny-Lynn Hayden are probably a bit older than the rest of this team, but their ages aren’t definitively linked to any points in the DC timeline, so there’s no real conflict between handwaving them as aged down to be right around the same ages as the others. Todd and Jenny-Lynn are the twin children of original Green Lantern Alan Scott aka Sentinel, and the DC villainness Thorn. They grew up in separate foster homes though with Alan unaware of their existence for most of their childhoods. Todd’s childhood was notoriously rough, with him having several abusive foster parents. He’s canonically gay and mentally ill/neurodivergent, which several of his foster homes targeted him for. In addition, his shadow powers are tied to a dark dimension that’s said to prey on his mental state and led to occasional times where he’s been a villain briefly, and at all times his powers are regarded fearfully by most people and with him shunned and avoided because of them. All of which I think makes Raven an ideal mentor for him).

6) Jenny-Lynn Hayden/Jade (Todd’s twin sister, even though they didn’t grow up together for the most part. Honestly, she doesn’t share in a lot of the issues the rest of the team prospects do, and had a relatively good childhood before her powers developed and she found her brother and they started operating as heroes together. But upon learning who her brother and dad are, she’s always been committed to growing closer with them, so I think anywhere Todd goes in this AU, she’d definitely follow, and its not like the team can’t benefit from a heavy hitter like her, let alone more girls. Not totally sure who I picture as most mentoring her in specific, probably because I don’t see her as being recruited per se, so much as just going with Todd when recruited….but I’m thinking maybe Garth, actually. Garth has a lot of range and versatility with his powers and magic, which makes him ideal for mentoring someone who not only has the same powers as a Green Lantern, limited only by her imagination…..but who also might benefit from being mentored by someone who ISN’T a Green Lantern because she doesn’t share their traditional weaknesses and thus she’d be best off training with someone whose own techniques and instincts aren’t geared around weaknesses that are literally irrelevant to her powerset).

7) Courtney Mason/Anima (A metahuman runaway who was almost sacrificed by a cult before her powers kicked in….she’s also right in the same age range as Ray, Grant and Jason, and has briefly been a member of a couple Titans lineups but never for long and usually only for big event stories. But she fits the runaway/rough home environment parameter as well as fear of her own powers….she absorbs life energy from people and animals and can potentially kill them by draining too much. She also has a separate power that’s basically a connection to an other-dimensional spirit called the Animus that she can summon forth and unleash on her enemies. I’m thinking she’d make a good recruit/protégé for Jericho actually, for a number of reasons).

8) Cynthia Reynolds/Fantasia (? Maybe? Not sure yet. Not her actual codename, but her actual codename is a slur, so I’m def gonna make up a new one, I just haven’t 100% settled on what it is yet. Suck it, DC. She’s most known for being a member of Justice League Detroit along with Steel, Vibe and the Ray, but she’s the right age range to end up recruited to be a Titan here instead, like Ray. Also is a runaway from an abusive home, and often deals with mistrust and suspicion due to her illusion powers. Perfect recruit/protégé for Lilith, IMO).

9) Cisco Ramone/Vibe (Also created as a teenage hero to be part of the Justice League Detroit lineup, which makes him the right age range and he’s another runaway. The nature of his powers makes him a good fit to be a recruit/protégéof Mal Duncan/Herald).

10) Amy Allen/Bombshell (Totally self-indulgent on my part given that I basically would ignore the vast majority of her storylines and writing, which I think suck. She was in the Titans stories revolving around Tim’s generation of the team, but she was always stated to be a few years older than the rest, like in her late teens when the majority were probably sixteen, so I think she’s a good fit for this age range. Also had a crappy home life and parents, and her powers are hugely destructive in certain applications…she basically has the same powerset as Captain Atom, though she’s never had any kind of official mentor or sidekick relationship with him. Also, I think Captain Atom is an asshat and a dillhole and he sucks, but I do like his powers, so reinterpreting Amy as a character who doesn’t suck and playing around with her powers instead is solid decision making on my part and renders Captain Atom irrelevant now. I think I shall kill him. Because I can do that. Anyway, I think she doesn’t need him as a mentor but could make a good recruit/protégé for Leonid/Red Star).

11) Carla Moretti/Cinder (Odd choice, given that she’s only ever really been used as a villainous member of Deathstroke’s anti-Titans team and was easily in her twenties at the time. Pyrokinetic who happily makes bonfires out of her enemies but written with zero attempts at nuance, like a total one note villain framed as having long since abandoned her own humanity….which bugged the crap out of me, as she was given a super angsty backstory of childhood sexual abuse and that’s just ‘why she’s like this’ and I have a deep seeded loathing for asshole writers writing survivors as villains and just blaming their casual homicidal ways on their abuse while serving up said villains to just be punching bags or dominoes for the heroes to knock down on their way to the Boss Fight. So I do have inclinations towards making an actual Titan out of her, like with Amy, because surprise surprise, both these characters being written shittily and one note was the work of the same writer, shocking. So I’d just handwave her down to the right age range and have her recruited/mentored by Donna, probably…more due to me thinking Donna would be the best person to help her deal with stuff because she’s mastered the art of avoiding avoidance via having Dick Grayson as a BFF. So with them its not really because Carla needs mentoring with her powers specifically. Idk, Carla anyway you slice it I think has a lot of rage, and Donna knows what to do with that. Written right, Donna’s not a character who judges or shames a victim or survivor for being angry…she gets angry with them, and helps them find options for what to do with that now.) 

12) Hero Cruz (Lesser known Titan, has a device called the Dial H device that lets him turn into a different hero with different powers depending on the setting he puts it on. Basically Ben 10, but Hero came first. Doesn’t really fit most of the parameters, other than being around the right age range, and not even sure who would make a good mentor for him though I wanna say Vic, but not totally decided yet. Mostly I just like him and think he’s underused, so whatever).

There’s also a few other candidates that I have mostly ruled out but not totally. I thought about using the aged up version of Chris Kent, and just introduce him earlier than he showed up in canon. And then Kara/Supergirl could be his mentor because I kinda handwave her into Dick’s generation of Titans anyway, even though it was the alien Matrix version of Linda Danvers that was the only Supergirl ever on the team. Whatever. She should have been a Titan all along anyway. But also Chris would fit the team well as he had an abusive childhood as well, at his dad General Zod’s hands, and again, I just like the character. 

Thought of including Virgil Hawkins/Static too, even though I think he’s closer to Tim’s age range. And again, just another character I’m a fan of and think is underused, but he would definitely be an odd man out in this group because like….he comes from a happy, healthy, loving home and family, and he loves his powers. So he would constantly be just like nodding his head along while his teammates talk and like ugh that sucks, but 10/10 absolutely can not relate, my parents are awesome.  Same with Natasha Irons/Steel, who really would have to be handwaved to even be in the right age range, and again has a happy loving home environment and a superhero uncle of her own so its not like she needs a Titan mentor…..but I kinda wanna see Karen Beecher/Bumblebee take her under her wing anyway, and have them be science nerds together.

Also pretty much the only reason I ruled out Connor Hawke too, as he doesn’t really match the rest of the team in any of the parameters except for feasibly being right at the upper edge of the same age range. But again, I just love the character. 

So I’m probably gonna end up throwing at least one of these other characters in there anyway, lol. I do know myself).

Anyway. So that’s Jason’s lineup of Titans, or at least the candidates as they exist bouncing around in my head now. Also, they’re pretty much Team “Everyone is Gay Except For When They’re Bi.” Which, granted, is basically how I view Dick’s generation of Titans, but with them I have to be like Make It So, in my brain, whereas with this group like….canon’s actually done the work for me for the most part lol. Ray is gay, Todd Rice is gay, Courtney is bi, Hero is gay. And I can’t actually find anything confirmed Tom was stated to be gay somewhere in canon, but I SWEAR he was, like, ugh this is bugging me.

But anyway. That’s that about all of that.