#where the fuck should i publish this lmao

[heartbrake-hotel]

I just want BDE to hold me; cradle me in his lap like a baby while he reads to me as I lay my head on his chest. Is that too much to ask for?

nonnie.. NONNIE.!! i wish you could hear the wistful sigh i let out reading this. i'm kicking my heels and twirling my hair about Big Daddy every chance i get 💌

just wanna curl up with him anywhere - in bed, on the couch, in the backseat of the car - wherever he is, wherever he's already comfortable, that's exactly where i wanna be.. 💓

[also i was just rambling i didn't mean for this to turn into any aCTUAL writing but.. uH 👉👈 yah sure whatever it's a blurb now ig]

wanna sneak up and slip into his lap while he's got that pretty nose of his buried in a book, disrupting his focus for only a second as he holds his book away to make room for you while you get comfy. his arms wrap securely around you once he's sure you're done moving, holding you tight, keeping your bodies flush as he reopens the paperback in his hand.

what follows is a kiss on the cheek and a murmur of sorry, didn't mean to bother you, just wanted to sit with you a little. go back to your book, and he hums a little absentmindedly in response as he keeps reading. you're pressed so close you can feel the rumble of it deep in his chest.

you busy yourself with nothing in particular, playing with the tuck in his shirt sleeve or the fringe on his jacket, occasionally running your fingers over some of your favorite parts of him: the plush swell of his belly or thighs, warm and strong underneath you; the soft slope of his shoulders, the curve of his neck, sometimes even reaching up to trace the ridge of his brow or the line of his nose. never for an extended period, just long enough for him to register and relish in the gentle touch. you wouldn't think he even noticed, too absorbed in his reading, except for how he squeezes your waist every time.

eventually, you sigh and wriggle in his arms, and he immediately drops them and clears his throat, faking that he's unaffected at the thought of you getting bored and leaving... but you're just sitting up a little higher in his lap to adjust your reach. you pout a little in discontent at the loss of his sturdy closeness so tight around you and pull his arms back where you want them. the barest hint of a smile on his face is given away only by the slight blush that colors his cheeks as he chides himself for bein' foolish, but it immediately widens to a cheshire grin as you begin running your fingers softly through his hair instead.

you don't know how much time passes like that, both of you content just to soak in the others' presence, before he speaks. wan' me to read out loud to ya, baby? his voice is quiet and sweet - not shy, per se, but like he's savoring the moment, like he worries you might get up anytime now and he wants to appreciate you here, snug and lovely in his arms, while he's still got it. you just nod in response, knowing he can feel it. he nods once, too, throat working as you watch his pillowy lips begin to form the words.

he thinks he's being surreptitious, but you're not so distracted that you don't notice how he flipped back to the very beginning of the book - a ploy to spend more time with you, but you don't mind one little bit. you hide your answering grin in his shoulder, sealed w a kiss pressed there, into the warmth of his body underneath the silky fabric of his shirt.

his voice is a little hoarse, at first, from slight disuse, but the longer he reads, the smoother it gets, the rich ebb and flow characteristic of his extensive vocal range becoming apparent. his cadence is lilting and musical in and of itself, so much so that you almost aren't listening to the words in favor of focusing on the sound.

the more he reads, the more comfortable you get, your fingers moving down to twirl in the fluffy curls at the nape of his neck as you rest your head on his shoulder. soon you find yourself sliding back down into his lap even further, to settle more firmly against the breadth of his chest. you can feel more so than hear the steady thump-thump of his heartbeat under your cheek. you've never felt so safe and loved as you do right here with him, and you know he knows it.

before long, lulled by that feeling, you find your blinks growing slower and your head growing heavier. you lost the plot of the book long ago, too distracted by his delicious closeness to keep track of the host of details, but now even the white noise of his voice is blurring in your ears as you drowse in his arms. not gonna fall asleep on me, are ya, little? he chuckles, his fond amusement audible. you grin a little but don't open your eyes, playfully slapping his shoulder as you settle more firmly against him. that, mr. presley, is for me to know and you to find out. now keep reading!

anythin' you say, honey.

[kadoodles-on-ao3]

Sickness update: Still coughing, but it's (mostly) dry coughing now, and my headache is gone! But I'm not at 100% back-to-normal mental capacity yet either :(

Writing update: I've been hard at work on my angsty longfic! I was going to work on something lighter (especially with my cold) but all of a sudden more and more ideas to add to my AU kept popping in my head and I just had to jot them down.

Before long I was finally organizing my outline by putting all my previous bullet-point came-to-me-at-random-times-of-the-night-and-put-in-an-equally-random-order concepts into plot-chronological order as they should be, and making headings/sections for the major location changes to find stuff easier, and getting down how exactly series-and-collection-wise I want to go about categorizing the fic and its sequels, and finalizing their titles (which are all names of songs on The Glitch Mob's Drink the Sea album, give it a listen with good headphones if you haven't before, it's great background music!!) and oh yeah I needed to go over the h2hs again better open that doc, and I definitely need to have the game's script and cutscenes on hand for reference as needed (which was very frequently) and now baby I've got a stew going

I'm having so much fun writing characters I haven't gotten to write before, and (minor/vague Xenoblade spoilers) digging into the details of the lore about Face Mechon and expanding on my take of what was happening on the Mechonis before the party got there, and fitting lots of little puzzle pieces that the game gives you but doesn't directly tell you they belong together which is why I love it so much, and getting into such a nice flow state with it all and gjshfhskfh I love Xenoblade 1 so muchhhhhh!!!

So all that is to say I will hopefully be posting the prologue tomorrow or the day after! :) No promises as it's gotten much longer/more-detailed than I planned for (although I really should have expected that, it's always how it goes with me when I'm having fun writing I just can't stop haha) but it is most definitely on the way to being published soon!

[thebibliosphere]

I just saw a baffling tweet on the other blue hellsite (link), and I clicked through to read the rest of the tweet where the agent claims, among other things, that indie authors sell maybe a max of 200 books, if they're lucky.

This was baffling to me because I know indie authors who sell into the thousands, myself included.

Anyway, I went to go check on my sales numbers on Amazon --not including all the other distributors I use -- and Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites, a book that no mainstream publisher or agent wanted without drastically altering the story (they wanted to remove the disability and give it a love triangle lmao) outsold the NYT bestseller requirement by several thousand in the first opening week.

For context, to be considered for the NYT bestseller list, you need to sell roughly 5000 copies in a week.

Like, I know I'm Spiders George in this instance, thanks to Tumblr, but the fact that sales have remained consistent even though I do the absolute bare minimum marketing would imply there is something about it that people want to read.

But y'know. No mainstream publisher wants Hunger Pangs. So it must be unsellable, and I should really "look within" and "make the necessary changes."

Like worstie, you're talking about having the "clout" of mainstream publishing, when most of my tradpub friend sales come from gremlins like me reblogging their work at breakneck speed because none of you fuckers bother to do any marketing anymore.

There are many reasons traditional publishing houses don't pick up authors, and sometimes it's because tradpub are fucking idiots.

[hippopotamusdreamer]

SKZ Code: Behind the Scenes

genre. A (heavy), F (eventually at the end)

warnings. Cheating, gaslighting, arguing, grabbing, cursing, swearing

additional notes. Female! Reader | You/Your pronouns, reader is aged between Hyunjin and Han, includes all members of Stray Kids

pairing. Yoon Jeonghan x Reader, Platonic!Felix x Reader, ot8 x 9th member reader

w.c. 7.6K

synopsis. Things get heated as emotional problems follow Y/N on set after an overdue encounter with her boyfriend. So what happens when something happens to triggers that fresh memory?

a/n. This is my first ever "published" kpop fic...be nice to me LMAO After having watched SKZ CODE ep. 40, that scene between Hyunjin and Han really stuck with me and just would not get out of my head, thus, this is the result. Constructive criticism would be nice, I feel like I added a lot of detail and it could get muddled and just become a wall of text, let me know what you think.

Kpop Masterlist

Fandom Masterlist

This in no way reflects the actual persons involved/based in this fic, nor their actual character. This is purely fiction.

Friday, 11:53 PM, unknown club in Hongdae

There were people all around you. Many of which were bumping and grinding on each other as they enjoyed themselves in all corners of the darkened building. The bass that reverberated throughout the entire club you were currently in was thumping so loud that you couldn’t differentiate it from the wild beating of your heart. The thrumming in your body kept you grounded as you walked through the dense crowd. LEDs were blinking with multicolored filters and there were even a few fog machines that made the place more hip than cliché. Unfortunately, the constant flashing of said lights made the oncoming headache you had, worse.

God, you wanted to leave.

You weren’t even supposed to be there in the first place. But you had gotten a text from Nayeon an hour earlier that just had “???” and then immediately after a photo of what looked like your boyfriend looking really fucking cozy with some girl for someone who had supposedly stayed late for practice at his company that night.

So there you were, in some random club in Hongdae, trying to keep yourself from turning into a mess. Dating ban be damned, you weren’t the only idol that had tried to date in secret, and you certainly wouldn’t be the last. Yet in this instance, as you made your way to the second floor VIP area, maybe you should have just followed the rules instead…

Was sneaking out of your dorm at the risk of your reputation and that of your group to get some answers a good idea? Absolutely not. And having had left yours and Hyunjin’s nightly skin care routine; claiming a, now very real, headache to go there didn’t make it any better. You’d be in for the scolding of a lifetime if any of the guys were to find out you where you were.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Saturday, 12:45 AM, VIP lounge, unknown club in Hongdae

Moving past the bouncer of the VIP section, Nayeon walked up, having waited for you to come. One look at your distressed state and she quickly pulled you into a hug. Letting go and without another word she turned you to the left and you finally came face to face with what you had been hoping was misunderstanding until this very moment.

Just like it had been in the photo Nayeon had sent earlier, there he was. An overly relaxed looking Jeonghan manspreading in his seat as an unknown pretty girl, who looked far too comfortable for it to be their first time together like this, sat perched on his lap. You both watched as she leaned down to whisper in his ear, placing her hand none too subtly on his chest in the process. The grin he gave her as he wrapped his arm around her waist was what snapped you out of your stupor.

“Y/N, wait!” Nayeon yelled after you as you finally found the will to move forward. Certain now that the thrumming you felt earlier was your heart and not the music.

You were practically in front of them and yet they paid you no mind. In their own little bubble, ignorant to the storm inside you. “Yah… Yoon Jeonghan, are you fucking kidding me?”

Jeonghan glanced at you slowly, like he hadn’t a care in the world for whoever was interrupting him, only to sit up from his slouched position, eyes wide in shock. Instantly pulling away from the girl that had basically plastered herself onto him. “Y-Y/N! What are you doing here?” He managed to stutter out, frantically looking around, unsure of how you got there.

“I should be asking you the same thing. The PLEDIS building sure got a damn upgrade since the last time I was there,” the venom in your voice apparent even over the loud music.

“Baby, please, it’s not what it looks like!” He gets up from his seat to get into your personal bubble to be heard. You see from your peripheral that the girl he was with slink off to somewhere else. The booming of the music made it hard to hear him but it’s easy to tell that he was trying to make excuses. Jeonghan probably felt the same way because in the next instance he was grabbing you by the arm and all but dragged you to the outside smoking balcony. You try to jerk free but he’s stronger than you, though he is struggling.

“Let me go!”

The balcony is empty of other people surprisingly and the music is still loud out there but at least you’re able to hear each other better as he whorls around to face you.

“Not until you hear me out!”

“There’s nothing for me to hear! It looks like my boyfriend was about to get Real. Fucking. Personal. With. Someone. Else.” You punctuate each word with a jab to his chest.

He grabs on to the appendage only to then forcefully let go as he steps away from you. The tick in his jaw letting you know he was already annoyed.

Good. So were you.

“Look would you just chill the fuck out! We weren’t even doing anything.”

“…She was sitting on your lap and you weren’t doing shit about it…”

“So she was sitting on my lap, who the fuck cares?”

“I do! And as my “boyfriend”, you should have had some respect for your partner and not do shit like that! How do you think that makes me feel Jeong?”

“Oh my god babe, it’s not that serious,” he says as he rolls his eyes, as if exasperated. He raked a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his body language.

“Ok, so if you were to see me with some random guy in the position you were in just now, it’d be fine? Is what you’re telling me?” You question hypothetically while aggressively gesturing to the building behind you.

“Babe…”

“No, I want to understand. Cause you’re saying it wasn’t that bad right? So I can just go inside and find some guy to get with and you’ll be ok with it, right?”

“…You’re starting to piss me off.”

“News flash, I’m already pissed off. If Nayeon hadn’t—”

“Nayeon? Oh yeah,” he spat out as he rolled his neck, “now it makes so much fucking sense. You know she fucking hates me babe, hasn’t liked me since you introduced us eight months ago. I told you she’s not a good friend if she keeps trying to break us up.”

“Oh my god, not this again...,” Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes.

“She’s always putting shit inside your head about us! She’ll say anything—"

“That’s not the fucking point right now! The point is that if you’re willing to do this in front of people, what kind of things are you doing when no one’s a-fucking-round! I know what I saw Jeonghan!”

“Jesus fuck! I made out with someone one time at a party and now you hold it over my head!”

“Because if DK and I hadn’t’ve caught you you probably would have slept with her! You practically had your hand up her dress that time!”

“She literally means nothing to me!”

“So, you’re willing to risk our relationship for nothing?”

“You’re being so dramatic right now for no reason!”

“No reason?” You were stunned.

“It’s not that big a deal! God, if I had known that you were going to be this insecure about our relationship, I wouldn’t have even asked you out!”

“I’m only like this because of what you did!”

The both of you were far too into your heated argument to notice that the door to the balcony open and close.

Only a split second passed as Jeonghan latched onto your arm tightly again and got in your face. You whimper out at the sudden contact knowing full well you’d most likely have a hand shaped bruise to cover up later.

You wince as pain radiates up your arm.

“Let’s get one thing fucking straight—”

But he never got the chance to finish his sentence as he was forcefully yanked away from you. The familiar multicolored hair of you bandmember stands in front of you as Jeonghan nurses his now bruising cheek.

“Felix…?” You whisper in wonder. What was he doing there? How did he know where to find you? Your heart picks up from the adrenaline of this night.

“Don’t you ever put your hands on her again, do you hear me?” Felix said evenly, glaring daggers at Jeonghan. Felix may have been shorter than him but in that moment, he was the most intimidating of the two.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Saturday, 2:19 AM, Felix’s bedroom – VOCALRACHA dorm

You sat in the back of the blacked-out car that Felix has pulled up in. The driver giving the two of you a moment as Felix comforts your hunched over crying form.

You had learned that when you had first confronted Jeonghan, Nayeon had a feeling something would go wrong and immediately went to call Felix. He had been in the middle of playing one of his games when he got the call and proceeded to also sneak out if his dorm to meet her at the front of the club. From there, he got the gist of the information and made his way upstairs with the thought of being a mediator. Only with what he witnessed, it quickly put an end to that idea.

It was Felix who had opened the door to the balcony in the middle of your argument and lost it when Jeonghan put his hands on you.

After that was a bit of a blur for you as Nayeon and Felix maneuvered you through the club discreetly in case someone saw and the media get a hold of that information. All you knew is that Jeonghan tried to come at the two of you but the 63 taekwondo medal holder put him in his place. Felix eventually managed to get you out of there safely but not before letting you confirm out loud that it was officially over between you and Jeonghan.

Jeonghan was too busy writhing in pain to argue back.

So here you were, finally allowing yourself to feel all the emotions of the night, crying into Felix as he pats your hair soothingly, protective arm wrapped around you.

“I’m sorry you had to come out h-here,” you hiccup.

“It’s alright Jellybean, I’m just glad I got there in time to stop him from doing anything more to you. How’s your arm?”

Sniffling, you pull back from him and shift your arm forward. He turns on the flashlight from his phone to see and the both of you come face to face with the repercussions of angry actions. As you thought, an outline of bruised digits were beginning to form like a bad tattoo on your bicep.

He sucks a breath between his teeth as he ghosts his fingers over the bruise. He’s silent as he tries to reel in his anger as he fights himself on going back inside and beating the shit out of the other idol.

But one look at your tear-stained face stops him.

“I’ll tell Chan and Lee Know-hyung that I called you over to our dorm later so they won’t go looking for you. That way you can just stay in my room.”

“Oh Lix, you don’t have—”

“No it’s ok, I don’t think you should be alone right now and I’m pretty sure you don’t want anyone to know about what happened.”

You stay quiet because you know he’s right. Reluctantly, you nod at his offer, grateful for the angel of your group.

He gives you a small sad smile as he brings you back into his arms, placing a comforting kiss on your head. Doesn’t say a word when you quietly start to cry again; just continues to pat your hair as the driver comes back into the car and takes the both of you back to Felix’s dorm.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You spent a total of 5 days in Felix’s room, crying. You finally managed to explain to Felix that you and Jeonghan had been secretly dating for about 10 months until then but that he had already cheated one you at least once, that you know of, before at an after party of one of the award shows. One of Jeonghan’s members had been with you when you caught him in the act and had gotten you out of there before a scene was caused.

You’d forgiven him after some heavy persuasion on his part but that left you feeling insecure about the relationship since it happened just about a month ago. He’d always had anger issues, but the night at the club was the first time he ever tried to grab you like that. When Nayeon eunnie messaged you that Friday night about seeing him with a different girl this time; you had to confront him before he had a chance to deny it.

You felt bad but Felix kept reassuring you that it was ok that you stayed there and that made you want to cry more. As he promised, he messaged the oldest members of your whereabouts. And with good timing too since according to Chan, Hyunjin had went into your room Saturday morning to wake you for the morning skin routine, but you were gone and he was about ready to freak out.

After that first night, Felix came up with the plan to say that you got hit with a weird bug and that it’d be too much of a hassle to move you back to your room in the 3RACHA dorm (plus  you and Hyunjin) so you might as well just stay in his room for the time being. Minho came to check on you that night, but Felix managed to convince him that it wasn’t bad enough to go to the hospital; you just needed to rest and eat something not too heavy. It wasn’t that far off from the truth honestly, and it was a good excuse to stop anyone else from checking up on you.

So Felix’s room was now a designated “quarantine zone” and no one was allowed to go in and bother you. Felix being the only one able to go in and out since it was his room after all. Your phone had been bombarded with texts from all your members trying to check up on you, pinging every few minutes with memes and well wishes. It wasn’t until you kept getting back-to-back calls and texts from your now ex-boyfriend that you turned off your phone, not wanting to deal with him now or ever again.

Just like you thought, the bruise on your arm had gotten darker and it was easy to tell what had caused it. With just one glance at your arm, you knew that with how protective the guys were over you, that the entirety of Stray Kids would go looking for a fight with your ex and your group absolutely did not need any heat in the media right now. It was hard enough keeping Lix from going out there once he looked at your arm again and taking matters into his own hands. Let alone all eight of them if word got out.

No, you had just wanted to wallow in self-pity for now.

Currently, Felix sat next to you in bed as you lay curled up by his side. He was letting you know that Chan had stopped by again to check on you when you were asleep earlier and had left you your designated SKZOO, a bear cub named Gom-N/N-ie, to “help you feel bettah.” You felt guilty for lying to him, all of them really, after that while accepting your SKZOO from the sunshine man. Bringing it to your chest, you bury your face in the familiar feeling of your plushie.

“You know you don’t have to go tomorrow, right? We can tell the managers that you’re sick, too,” Felix’s deep voice broke through the quiet of the room from his spot next to you as he gently combed his fingers through your hair. Tomorrow all of you were to begin shooting for a special new episode of SKZ Code for Chuseok. You’d completely forgot about it until you overheard Minho and Innie talking about it outside of the door earlier.

You were quiet for a moment, contemplating on what you should say and do. You know you can’t keep hiding out in Felix’s room like this, it’s not fair to him. He doesn’t like lying to the other members either yet is doing it just for your sake. He’s been working hard to deflect any and all questions, comments and concerns about your wellbeing while also placating everyone else. You’ve definitely put your younger member in a difficult position.

You owe him a lot, your little sunshine.

“…I’ll go.”

His hand stills in your hair, waiting to see if you’ll say anything else.

“I’ll go with everyone tomorrow. You’re probably sick of me being in here anyways,” you quietly laugh out.

“Naur, what?” His Aussie accent coming out as he switches from Korean to English and back again. “I’m not sick of you, I could never be. If anything, the others are jealous cause I’m the only one that’s gotten to see you!”

“That’s such a lie, Lee Yongbok!” you finally laugh out loud for the first time since Friday night while swatting him in the leg playfully.

“It’s true, noona! Binnie Hyung was about ready to tackle me to get inside the room yesterday!”

The image alone of your buff bun trying to tackle your sunshine lad had you in stitches. What you didn’t see was the loving gaze of said sunshine, glad to see you at least somewhat happy again after everything that’s happened.

For this moment in time, that’s all he could ask for.

Felix gently grazes his fingers over your bruised arm, his smile slightly faltering at what he sees. Moving his hand back to your hair, he gently pulls a few strands just to get your attention.

“It’s gonna be ok, you know. I’ll be there to help you if you need it, alright? You’re not gonna be alone.”

“I know Lix…thank you. For everything.,” you respond quietly.

His only action is to bend down and give you another comforting forehead kiss. The two of you remain quiet for the rest of the night until it was time for bed.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Thursday, 8:15 AM, VOCALRACHA dorm

As soon as you followed Felix out of the bedroom, you were accosted by the one and only  maknae on top.

“Noona!” Jeongin yelled out, too loud for what time it was. “Are you feeling better? Do you need more medicine, a doctor?”

“Yah! Let her breathe.” The three of you jump in the middle of the hallway as the admonishing tone of Minho could be distinguished from the kitchen. He’d probably heard Innie from all the way over there.

Chuckling, you give him a small smile and a pat to his head to calm him down.

“I’m ok right now Innie, thank you for checking up on me.”

“You really had us worried noona, Lee Know-hyung was about to burst in there and take you to the hospital himself as soon as he found out you weren’t feeling good if it weren’t for Felix hyung.”

You’d figured something like that was bound to happen. You were even more grateful to Felix for all his efforts. You giggle at his comment and the three of you continue to the kitchen where Seungmin was also waiting.

“Morning everyone,” you greeted, sitting down next to the second youngest of you all.

“Are you sure you’re feeling ok enough to shoot today?” Seungmin asks quietly while placing a cup of juice in front of you which you gratefully take. You nod in agreeance as a bowl of porridge is placed in front of you. Minho pats your head before walking away to get the other dishes for breakfast.

“We’ll let the director-nim know that you should take it easier today at least,” he says while serving the rest of the guys at the table. Before you can protest, he sends you a heated look that leaves no room for argument.

With a twitch to your lips, you can’t help but to agree with him too. “I understand, thank you for breakfast.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Thursday, 11:15 AM – SKZ Code shoot location, dressing room 1

Meeting the other half of your group went just about the same. Except more scolding from Hyunjin for skipping out on your daily routine. Although that was mostly an excuse because he was just so worried when he didn’t see you in your room that first morning.

“Really Y/N-ie, you should have messaged me first!” the pout on his lips not hard to find as he tugs on your sleeve.

“Y/N-ah, you should have seen him!” the boisterous voice of Changbin joins the two of you as you sit in your designated dressing room waiting for your leader’s return. The two of them immediately ambushing you, much like Jeongin this morning, upon your arrival. “He wouldn’t stop bothering Channie hyung for information on how you were doing!”

That evokes the lankier one of the two to get flustered and from there the two start a playful argument of no-I-wasn’t’s and yes-you-were’s. Just being with them again really did set your mind and heart at easy after the past couple of days. Not to mention a good distraction.

A quiet “noona” catches your attention from the squabble in front of you and has you turning to face Han questioningly.

“I brought you a red ginseng drink to keep your health up today.”

You wanted to cry again for an altogether different reason. Your members cared for you so much, each in their own different ways. You don’t know what you’d do without them.

“Ahh, thank you, Hannie. I’ll drink this right now.” The initial taste of the ginger is gross but it had a hint of sweetness at the end so the overall drink wasn’t too bad. Especially if you try to take it all in one go.

Han sits next to you on the couch, Felix following shortly after, as I.N and Minho join in on the fray to annoy the already hyped-up boys. Although they could all be loud and wild sometimes, it was just a part of their charm.

Chan comes back into the room about 5 minutes later gaining everyone’s attention.

“Alright, I got everything squared away with the director and producers. Y/N, they know you’re just getting better,” he states, staring directly at you as if he—, no there was no way, right? “So, you’re going to be given more of the easier things to do alright?”

The panic in your head only allows you to nod at him as you grab Felix’s hand for a quiet support. He doesn’t skip a beat in intertwining your hands together.

“Great, we’ve got 10 minutes before they want us to start going to make up and changing. Then we’re all going to film an intro piece for the episode. Anyone have any questions or problems with that?

When no one responded, Chan just nods and heads to the far corner and sits with his phone for a bit. You can’t help but think you feel his gaze every once in a while but brush it off as paranoia.

The time eventually comes to split off as the boys go to their own designated dressing room and you stay in the current one. The stylists helping you to get ready for what is surely to be an interesting shoot if the hanbok you have to wear is anything to go off of.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Thursday, 1:15 PM – SKZ Code shoot location

[I.N - Lee Know's younger sister, Yongbok and Y/N's aunt]

[Changbin - High school jock / Always steps up to keep his family together]

[HAN - A sweet but strict father (But somewhat seems polite)]

[Hyunjin - The sassy mother]

[Lee Know - A tough woman but a lenient mother to Yongbok and Y/N]

[Seungmin - Survives through the attacks by Lee Know, I.N, and daughter’s Y/N and Yongbok]

[Yongbok - Sassy and brave like his mom, sister, and aunt]

[Bang Chan - The youngest son, loves his mom the most and hates his brother / Is always losing out to cousin Yongbok]

[Y/N – The exasperated oldest of the grandkids back from university/ Yongbok’s sister]

One rainy Chuseok morning, the SKZ Family are gathering in a long while today CHUSEOK SPECIAL : SKZ Family Returns

You stand off to the side, waiting for your cue to join, with the rest of the group as Channie and Felix do the beginning of the intro skit. It’s hard to keep the giggles in with how cute the both of them look and act.

“Hi...,” Chan started out shyly.

“Hi!” Felix sassed out immediately in response.

“How old are you?”

Felix counts slowly with his fingers, “…Three. How about you?”

“I’m five. I’m older than you.”

Felix plucks out two more digits to make five on his hand.

“You’re right.”

“Mm”

“You don’t look older though.”

“Why are you talking down to me?”

“Mind your own business.”

“Don’t talk down to me!”

“Don’t yell!”

“Okay…,” Chan whispers out. “Mommy!”

“Daddy!”

They both start crying and that’s your you cue to walk into the frame behind them.

“Hey! Stop crying!”

“Noona!” “Eunnie!”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Filming was going smoothly so far. It was just the beginning though so nothing too taxing had happened yet. Felix just finished introducing himself as three-year-old Yongbok who gets her good looks from her mom and wants to live with her mother after their divorce.

“Waaah, my little sister is so cute,” you say out loud with a smile, Felix sticking his tongue out at you in response.

“Yes, both of my daughters are so cute,” Lee Know says while pinching your cheek since you sat beside him. There went your smile.

“Ahh! Mom!”

“Y/N-ie, it’s your turn to introduce yourself,” Seungmin, as your father, says not even bothering to help you out. You make a noncommittal sound as you fight with Lee Know to let go of your cheek still. More than half the guys laughing at your antics.

“Mom, please!”

“Ohh, but how can I let go of these cheeks huh,” he says in a babying tone, as he does in fact, let you go.

You rub your cheek as you sit down on the stool and face the proper direction.

“Hello, I’m Yongbok’s older sister, Y/N. I’m tirelessly working on maintaining my high marks in school but currently on break from university. So I’m glad to be home and able to spend this time with my family.”

“You get you book smarts from your dad,” Han says chuckling.

“And your street smarts from your mom,” Seungmin joins in. Lee Know, jokingly takes the bubble gun blower in front of him and aims it at his ‘husband’.

“That’s right, so you better watch what you say.”

You’re laughing at the scene before you as Hyunjin continues the skit, “Y/N-ie, what are you studying in college?”

“Uhh,” you didn’t really have a concept for this character, until you lock eyes with Chan and then the kiddie computer in front of him. “I’m studying…m-music producing?” you get out before laughing since producing was certainly not your forte. And everyone in front of you knew that.

“Noona is so cool,” Chan says from his spot on the ground. “Better than my older brother.”

“Aww, thanks Channie,” you beam at him as he beams back.

“Yah Bang Chan!” Binnie yells from behind him before yelling in pain because Chan leaned back against his legs.

“Changbin, don’t yell at you brother,” Hyunjin says as his mom.

“Mmm, my daughter is so talented. Getting in the best university of the country, getting good grades and look at her face, just like me,” He strikes a little pose. “Maybe next holiday she’ll bring home a boyfriend,” Lee Know continues in character.

The smile on your face freezes as your heart zings in pain. You’ve become still in your seat as you feel Felix’s eyes on you. He being the only ones to notice your hands balling into fists on your skirt.

“…Mom,” you start off slowly. Your hesitancy easily mistakable for your character’s young adult/college student love life being interrogated by their parent. “That’s…”

“She doesn’t need to be dating in college,” Seungmin cuts you off. “We met in college and now we’re getting a divorce!”

“Yeah but she won’t meet a mistake like you and go through any hardships. So she’ll be fine .”

Grin faltering, you begin to bite the inside of your lip to stop your eyes from getting glossy. Your nose starting to sting, a tale tell sign that you wanted to cry. Your actual hardships flashing in your mind.

“Mommy, daddy, don’t fight,” Felix tries to distract them.

“We’re not fighting,” Lee Know quickly responds as you get up from your seat to switch places with him. Felix quickly looping his arm around yours, taking your hand in his, giving it a quick squeeze.

You give him one back as you stare at a spot by your feet.

.

.

.

Despite the earlier hiccup, everything was going fine. Both Lee Know and Seungmin went on to introduce themselves, which was a skit about how Lee Know got married for money and that they were in the process of getting a divorce more than anything. And then Innie looking out for his nieces because what was said in front of them.

It was then decided that Yongbok was going with Lee Know and you were going with Seungmin. Both kids pouting at this information for being separated.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Next up was Han, who’s outfit immediately got torn to pieces by everyone in the room. Him trying to explain that he got his style from his father caused everyone to derail in laughter.

He brings back everyone’s attention by restarting his introduction.

“I’m Yongbok and Y/N-ie’s uncle, but I could be their new father.”

“Their new father?” Lee Know questions immediately as you and Felix looked shocked at him.

“I mean, I’ll be that much kinder to them.”

A few of the members understand what he means by that and Hyunjin speaks up in relief, “I was worried.”

“Hey, just a few days ago,” Seungmin speaks up from beside you asking a seemingly innocent question until it wasn’t. “Did you enjoy dinner with the friend I introduced to you?”

There was a pause in the room. Han looking a little shell-shocked as he responds.

“Why are you mentioning that now?”

Everyone’s quiet as Hyunjin gets up from his seated position. Your heartbeat picking up, flashes of your very recent tragedy of a relationship flashing in your mind. All the heartache came rushing back as the scene before you kept unfolding. Your heartbeat picking up in your chest as you look between the two.

“What does that mean?” Hyunjin asked cluelessly.

“You knew mom’s a jealous person!” Changbin yells from his spot next to I.N.

You can’t say anything as the ball of emotions in your throat gets bigger. Felix tries to comfort you but gets pulled away by Lee Know who’s trying to cover his eyes.

“Close your eyes and open your nose,” he says to Felix. If only you could shut out the blood rushing in your ears.

The deep breath that Hyunjin takes is something you felt from deep within your core. “Try explaining yourself.”

“What?”

“Try explaining.”

“You didn’t tell her?” Seungmin jumps in with a grin, making the situation worse. “I thought you did.”

It’s a joke. It’s a joke. It’s a joke.

You repeat to yourself as you try to control your breathing. It’s not their fault that you basically went through something so distressingly similar not even a week ago and they didn’t know about it. Staring at your lap, your hands begin to tremble and you can just feel your lips wobbling.

“Honey,” Han laughs out nervously.

“Was she prettier than me?”

You bring your hands up to cover part of your face. That had been one of many questions that had been plaguing you since the first time Jeonghan had cheated on you. You never got a good look at the first girl and the second girl was definitely pretty to you. You close your eyes, eyebrows furrowing, to try to block out the scene. You hope they can’t here you sniffling.

“…Yaaahh,” is all that Han can respond with, wanting to avoid answering the question.

Did he even feel guilty for what he did? Or did he just move on as if the last 10 months together didn’t mean anything?

 A warm hand on your knee makes you open your eyes and you’re met with Chan’s concerned gaze as your eyesight becomes blurry with the tears quickly gathering there. His concern quickly becomes full on worry as a single tear drops down your cheek.

You needed to get out of there, quickly. It was a wonder how the others haven’t picked up on how upset you’re getting.

“Mom, no one’s prettier than you,” Changbin pipes up as he stands up next to Hyunjin.

“That’s right!”

Did Jeonghan ask his members not to tell you anything? Were they in on everything?

 “Lee Know…?” Han questions.

“Huh?”

“Don’t tell them we met yesterday.”

Would they have told you if they knew? Or did they all laugh about you behind their backs? Did Jeonghan even like you, or did he just keep you around because you were convenient?

This endless cycle of negative questions kept spiraling in your mind as the skit the boys were doing continued to play out before you.

Lee Know, with a grin on his face, turns to look at Hyunjin who’s sat down next to Seungmin again. “It’s fine, I saw someone today too.” Hyunjin says in retaliation as he grabs onto Seungmin.

“Wait a minute…” Han starts but you’ve had enough by this point. The sob you try to hide was heard throughout the group and everyone freezes.

You hurriedly get up from your spot between Seungmin and Felix and trip twice trying to get out of there. The chaos that ensues as the fabric of your hanbok getting caught under your foot was instantaneous as Chan, Changbin, and Felix immediately try to catch you. The small leg space not making it easy to leave quickly.

“Noona?” I.N asks fearfully, breaking character as he sees the state that you’re in.

“Y/N-ah?” Minho asks from his side of the couch starting to get up from his seat.

Han, Seungmin, and Hyunjin quiet in their shock of what’s happening.

“Sorry—,  I—, Please…,” you sob out as you finally get out of the cramped space. Felix and Chan following right behind you as you run to the restroom to lock yourself in there. The door closing in both of their faces. The brief look at your expression, blotchy and covered in tears, breaking their hearts.

You hug yourself as you slide down against the door, finally allowing yourself to cry fully. Even through your sobs, you can hear the other members coming up to the other side of the door to check on you. You could faintly make out the deep timbre of Felix’s voice most likely trying to diffuse the situation which makes you cry more. You weren’t ready to face any of this, or them, now. Should have just stayed home instead of making a mess like this.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you heard a gentle knock on the door behind you. Your tears still flowing slowly but at least you weren’t full on sobbing now. Sniffling, you’re hesitant as you look towards the locked doorknob.

“Y/N-ah, it’s just me,” Chan says from the other side. “Everyone else went to go talk to the manager and director to give us a break right now.”

Not saying anything, he clears his throat before asking quietly, “Do you think you can let me in?”

The double entendre isn’t lost on you. Whether Chan knew what he said or not was unknown to you. With some tentativeness, you manage to wiggle to the wall to be able to unlock and open the door for him.

Chan slips into the restroom and closes the door swiftly behind him. You look small to him as you sat huddled into yourself on the ground. Not like your usual boisterous self. He doesn’t say anything as he sits down next to you. Doesn’t pressure you to say anything, either. Just sits with you, waiting patiently for you to be comfortable enough to tell him what’s wrong.

So you sit there in silence for a few moments more. Trying to gather the courage to lay yourself emotionally bare to your leader. You pick at the fabric you have on, sniffling every now and then until Chan gently places his hand over yours in comfort. And to probably stop you from tearing a hole in your clothes…

He lets you play with his hand until you manage to take a deep breath. For the second time since the whole fiasco happened, you find yourself confiding your problem with a member. Going into a bit more detail than what you did with Felix.

You told Chan everything while on the floor in that little restroom.

How you first met Jeonghan, how you kept bumping into him after the shows you all did, how you ended up exchanging numbers. To how you kept in touch after that, kept meeting up until he eventually asked you out. Occasionally sneaking out of the dorm to meet up with him at his insistence.

You thought Chan would get mad at that, but he didn’t say anything. Just squeezed your hand to get you to continue with your story.

You told Chan how you caught Jeonghan cheating the first time, and how DK all but dragged you out of there but it didn’t even matter because you saw everything. That messed you up mentally and was the reason why you had messed up a lot during dance practice the next day.

Chan remembers the day you were talking about. He thought something was wrong but kept it to himself, hoping you’d come talk to him about it, but you never did.

You explained the fight that happened a week after catching him back then. How you eventually, and stupidly, ended up forgiving him and continuing the relationship only for him to go behind your back and do it again a couple of days ago.

“So you weren’t sick?” he cuts in, finally breaking his silence.

“I mean…not in the contagious sense…,” you explain while turning to him. He nods, letting you continue as he tries to wipe the dried tears off your face.

“So yeah, Nayeon called me up that Friday night and I had to sneak out to Hongdae. Sorry…about that by the way…,” you clear your throat, avoiding eye contact with him altogether. “So I saw him literally in the act again and had to confront him about it this time. We ended up going outside and basically just having an all-out screaming match with each other. Where, by the way, he tried to gaslight the shit out of me, but it didn’t work. Thankfully, Felix showed up when he did though because Jeonghan ended up grabbing me really hard. Who knows what he could have done if Lix hadn’t gotten there in time.”

You let go of Chan’s hand, which was still intertwined with yours, to rub against your bruised shoulder.

“Wait…he put his hands on you?”

You don’t pick up on his tone as you nod and take off the jeogori jacket layer of your hanbok. Presenting your, now, heavily bruised arm, Chan takes it delicately in his hands.

“I asked the stylist to try to use coverup on it, but it was just so dark and it still hurt so she couldn’t do much about it in the end.”

Gently, he touches the colorfully marred skin not saying a word, his jaw ticking in anger at what he’s seeing.

You don’t even get a word out before he’s up and bolting out of the restroom. Face clouded in rage.

“Ch-Chan!” Scrambling, you grab the jeogori from the ground and run after him, not even bothering to put it back on. “Channie, wait!”

The other members of your group had managed to clear the room of the staff and had been hovering close the door the entire time, waiting patiently for the two of you to come out. What they weren’t expecting was an infuriated Chan and an anxious you to come out of there.

“What’s happening,” Changbin asked, lowkey getting worked up just seeing his leader on edge.

“I’m gonna kill him,” is all Chan says.

“Who?” Han asks, also getting anxious.

“Noona, what happened to your arm?” Innie asks from beside you, gently grabbing your bruised arm. That captures everyone else’s attention. Your face pales as you realize your mistake.

“Is that a bruise?” “Why does it look like a hand?” “Who the hell touched you?” “Noona, are you ok?”

“I— ,” you’re on the verge of panicking, not knowing what to do.

This catches Chan’s attention and breaks the trance of rage he’s in. He makes his way back to you and brings you into a big hug. He holds you in his arms as you try to hide away from everyone’s prying eyes.

But honestly, they’re just so worried about you.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Channie whispers into your hair. Shaking your head, you understand everyone’s concerns, you just wish it wasn’t revealed this way.

Keeping your face in Chan’s chest to hide, your muffled response is heard. “Long story short, I got into it with an ex a couple of days ago because he was cheating and he…put his hands on me…”

Just like you thought, they were all visibly upset for you.

“This happened to you…and I was…” Han became visibly pale compared to the others as his actions up until you ran out sprang to his mind. That prompted the other boys, besides Felix, to realize why you had gotten upset enough to leave the set in the first place. All of them immediately apologizing to you, getting upset with themselves and begging for your forgiveness.

“Who is it?” Seungmin asks menacingly from somewhere behind you, voice quivering with emotion. Guard dog mode being activated.

“No, guys—”

“He’s gonna wish he only got a bruised arm once I’m done with him,” Changbin says while rolling his neck in annoyance now. Minho and Felix are taking off their own hanbok’s as I.N and Hyunjin stretch out themselves, preparing for a beatdown.

“Noona, seriously, who did this to you?” Han asks you quietly next to you, mood sad yet protective.

“Guys really, there’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t know what was going on, you don’t have to do anything,” You pipe up, finally pulling away from Chan a little. His arms tighten around you slightly, not wanting to let you go fully.

“Y/N-ah, we have every right to want to have your back on this. He’s not gonna get away with putting his hands on you,” Chan explains to you still upset about all the information that you’ve shared with him.

“No, I get that, I swear,” you rotate in his arms to face the others. “I appreciate all of you wanting to go and kick his ass. But I swear it’s not necessary. Felix already beat the shit out of him. His company put out a statement saying he’s taking a break for a bit for ‘health reasons’.”

All of you turn to Felix, who’s now taking off his headband, cool expression on his face. “I’m not against kicking his ass again, Jellybean.”

You stare at him dumbfounded until you burst into laughter because of course he wouldn’t. None of them would be. Because this is your family away from family. They’re dead set in wanting to protect you, and each other, from any and everything that could be harmful.

The others stare at you as if you’ve finally lost your mind which prompts you to just say, “I love you guys.”

Felix, besides Chan who is still holding you, is the first to step up and give you a very much needed hug. A little confused, the rest of the guys follow suit and you all end up in one massive hug.

Until one of the younger boys starts fighting with Changbin and they all break away.

“Don’t think this lets you off the hook for sneaking out of the dorm, Y/N-ah,” Chan says out loud from behind you as you’re still wrapped in his arms.

“You did what?!” Minho could be heard yelling, which causes you to groan.

© hippopotamusdreamer, est 2024. all rights reserved.

[genericpuff]

Webtoons Is Making Moves - So Should You.

We all saw it coming ages ago and now it's finally here. There's no more beating around the bush or doubting if anyone is "reading into it too much", Webtoons' use of AI in its more recent webtoons is not an accident, not an oversight, but by design, it always has been. And I guaran-fucking-tee you that the work that already exists on the platform won't be safe from Webtoons' upcoming AI integration through scraping and data mining. Sure, they can say they're not gonna replace human creators, but that doesn't change the fact that AI tools, in their current form, can't feasibly exist without stealing from pre-existing content.

Plus, as someone who's tested their AI coloring tools specifically... they're a long, LONG way away from actually being useful. Like, good luck using them for any comic style that isn't Korean manwha featuring predominantly white characters with small heads and comically long legs. And if they do manage to get their AI tools to incorporate more art styles and wider ranges of character identities... again, what do you think it's been trained on?

Also, as an added bit that I found very funny:

Um, I'm sorry, what fucking year is it? Because platforms like WT and Tapas have both been saying this for years but we're obviously seeing them backpedal on that now with the implementation of in-house publishing programs like Unscrolled which have reinvented the wheel of taking digital webtoons and going gasp physical! It's almost like the platform has learned that there's no sustainable profit to be had in digital comics alone without the help of supplementary streams of income and is now trying to act like they've invented physical book publishing!

"The future of comic publishing, including manga, will be digital"??? My brother in christ, Shonen Jump has been exclusively digital since 2012! What rock have the WT's staff been living under that they're trying to sell digital comics as the "future" to North Americans as if we haven't already been living in that future for over ten years now?? We've had an entire generation of children raised on that same digital media since then! This isn't the selling point you think it is LMAO If anything, the digital media market here in NA is dying thanks to the enshittification of digital content platorms like Netflix, Disney+, and mainstream social media platforms! That "future" is not only already both the past and present, but is swiftly on its way out! Pack it up and go home, you missed the bus!

Literally so much of WT's IPO pitch is just a deadass grift full of corporate buzzwords and empty promises. They're trying so hard to convince people that their business model is infinitely profitable... but if it were, why do they need the public's money? And where are all those profits for the creators who are being exploited day after day to fill their platform with content? Why are so many creators still struggling to pay their bills if the company has this much potential for profit?

Ultimately even their promised AI tools don't ensure profit, they ensure cutting expenses. The extra money they hope to make isn't gonna come from their content generating income, it's gonna come from normal people forking over their money in the hopes that it'll be turned around, and from Webtoons cheapening the medium even further until it's nothing but conveyer belt gruel. Sure, "making more than you spend" is the base definition of "profit", but can we really call it that when it's through the means of gutting features, retiring support programs, letting go editing staff, and limiting resources for their own hired freelancers who are the only reason they even have content to begin with? That's not sustainable profit or growth, that's fighting the tide which can and will carry them away at any moment.

I'm low key calling it now, a year or two from today we're gonna be seeing massive lawsuits and calls to action from the people who invested their money into WT and subsequently lost it into the black hole that is WT's "business model". This is a company that's been operating in the red for years, what about becoming an IPO is gonna make them "profitable"? Let alone profitable enough to pay back their investors in the spades they're expecting? The platform and its app are already shit and they're about to become even worse, we are literally watching this company circle the drain in the modern day's ever-ongoing race to the bottom, enshittification in motion, but they're trying to convince us all the same that they're "innovating".

Webtoons doesn't want to invest in its creators. We as creators need to stop investing in them.

[thisismeracing]

Part of your world | LH44

SOCIAL MEDIA AU

Pairing: lewis hamilton x actress!reader (she/her)

Warnings: curse words, Twitter environment, it’s not proofread, etc, etc. Minors DNI!

Summary: What happens when Lewis goes to the theater with his nephews and realizes he now has a new favorite Disney movie. The princess? Ynl Yln and she’s definitely fairytale-worthy outside the screens as well.

a/n: none of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps. everything else is made up by me and I do not give permission for it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

my masterlist | taglist

yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, disney, and others

yourusername I can't believe this press tour coming to an end :( A huge thank you to everyone involved. It was great working with you guys, from filming to singing and interviewing.

view all 1,563 comments

royaltyyln omg, I still don't know which dress was my favorite, but this white one is def between the top 3

lewishamilton woah! 😍

⤷ hammertime8 shooting his shot

disney 😍🧜🏾‍♀️💙

user01 I just watched the movie and Istg I cried the whole time, my whole childhood on screen. Yn did a great job

mermaidyn I have an eight years old sister and she's so excited to watch the movie, we cried during the trailer. I can't stress how much it means to us to have a black princess on screen, I am glad my sister is growing up with these examples, and I'm happy I'm still around to watch all these events unfold. Really proud 🤧❤️

user90 Everything on this live-action was on point! From the soundtrack to the cast, absolutely perfect

sainzspain I am so ready to see Yn and Lewis interacting 😌🤌🏾

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, lewishamilton, and others

yourusername camera roll reveal 🫶🏾

view all 1,982 comments

summertimeyn soft launching, I see

⤷ ynbrasil she thinks she's lick, everyone knows its lewis lol

russelular bro, every time she posts I am reminded of the fact that she is stunning, what should one do to look this pretty?

⤷ user3 for me, only being born again lmao 😭🤣

driverslicensef1 lewis lurking on the likes

fortyfourfone Pierre Gasly liked it 🧐

roscoesfans THAT'S ROSCOE AND THAT'S LEWIS, NO DENYING

mickshoes @.disney please, a movie where Yn is the princess and Lewis Hamilton the prince, y'all owning us a live-action from the princess and the frog btw, just saying 👀

flawlessyn Yn is my religion 😭💖💖

lewishamilton

liked by alex_albon, yourusername, and others

lewishamilton we’re all about winning…and making lovely memories along the way 💚

view all 2,374 comments

yourusername cute

⤷ lewishamilton 😌😝❤️

eliteleclerc I am so happy for them

rainytracks can you imagine being born as yn yln and dating lewis hamilton???????

ynwinter God, I've seen what you've done for others 🙏🏾

estebanocon Congrats, guys!

⤷ yourusername thank you, estie bestie! 🥰

lewyn They look so happy, when will it be my turn?

hitsdifferent not yn all cautious not to spill it was lewis, and lewis saying "fuck soft launch, here's my princess" lol

arielyln wish I could beeee part of this worldddd 😭

taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @formulakay3 @mishaandthebrits @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie

💖 Don't forget to like, reblog and/or leave a comment letting me know if you liked it *mwah* your interaction means a lot not only because it motivates me, but because it spreads my work and gives me more visibility (especially when you reblog 🥰🤍)

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Kingdoms and Empires Wiki Drop!

Sup guys, im releasing what i have done in the wiki today! In this post im only going to talk about the Wiki because I dont want to create an even more massive wall of text here than it already is. Please see the entire post on the forums thread!!! I solidified the lore (which means no more massive changes), set the foundations to the story (so i dont end up writing a shit ton and having to fucking rewrite everything anymore), and pretty much rewrote the canon lore until i reached a point where i literally cannot share it because itd be spoilers without the future rewrite (regarding the worldbuilding, all introduced characters and such are still the same, some just had minor tweeks, so nothing crazy like changing our old bodyguard Mary:

and turning her into our childhood friend lmao So the plan now is current wiki drop. A good amount of it will be hidden since alot of it is spoilers, so you get 39,174 thousand words of unlocked content out of about 50k words in the wiki. And that's without me transferring 90% of the Codex ingame to the wiki, so its ALL (okay like 85%) new words of content and lore! Dont worry, im dropping literally all extra work and focusing purely on playable updates now until i regain your guy's trust in me after being so radio silent.

I also know and recognize that this has gotta be annoying asf since what you guys really want is updates but after what happened with the Total War franchise (my beloved) and their lightning fast content pipeline and lack of upgrading their engine ended up destroying the health of the company and ruining fans trust in em, id rather invest on the long term than short term unlike them (meaning id rather have a set story, narrative line complete, and research resources so that i can use that to run wild in writing).

I made a history of the world as known to them, so much of it is subject to embellishment, lies, and "the victor writes history" trope.

Historia Mundis

If you'd rather just have the list of articles that can be found within the timeline though, here it is: The Great Disturbances, Wars of Unification, and the Longwei Empire

Reign of the Daishu Dynasty

Ecumenical Dominion and the Flight of the Belthean People.

Belthean Migrations

Reign of Emperor Garland

Reign of Emperor Daerin I

Reign of Emperor Valerion

Reign of Emperor Elric I

Reign of Emperor Cenric

Reign of Emperor Saldwin

Reign of Emperor Elric II

Reign of Emperor Daerin II

The Interactive Outdated Map Yeahhh almost as soon as i published the map for the patreons it became outdated lmaoooo Nareth is much bigger than originally imagined, Argent is surrounded by mountain and forest tribes (think Hispania’s Lusitanian Wars or the Germanic Tribes type of vibe). The empire (being Imperial Chinese and Persian Empire inspired) also is surrounded by the these tribes, and the Imperial Province of Lymark is now the “Protectorate of the Western Regions” which basically means theyre the watchdogs of Western Nareth. Its funny because theyre also across the St. Hytera River, which is much like the Danube River, and will inevitably face the same issues Rome did with Dacia when they had a presence that extended the natural borders.

Master List of Articles

The Evolution of Belthean Civilization

Veldora Duchy I may have gone too far here. I regret nothing and learning about agriculture and stuff was awesome.

Silverhill Duchy Mining is alot more complicated than I thought, though Engineering MC is gonna have equally alot to improve!

Imperial Ranks The ranks will have importance. I know that sounds weird, but I did not spend an afternoon writing this just for the lulz.

Emperor/Empress

Imperial Crown Heir

Imperial Prince and Princess

Imperial Duke/Duchess

Imperial Count/Countess

The Imperial Landed Knight

The Belthean Empire The biggest entry from the ingame Codex that I transferred over and polished. This should give you a hint of how ill do the other kingdoms in the future for their article.

Kin of Arava I experimented here and instead of making an actual article, made it a class lecture of a series of days focusing on the Kin with a racist professor lmao

Zera Arava So i had to do this in intervals as I was writing and plotting out his side stories. Honestly hope i did the homie justice, he's a fav of mine, though i think each of the ROs will be favs as I write more and more about them.

Sacred Dance I assure you the Sacred Dance isnt what you think it is.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Patreons, you guys already read the below list. However ive cleaned the articles up and polished them! The Genesis of the Belthean Empire: From Invasion to Unification

Voryn Resdayn I wanted to see how i could make a character entry. It looks awesome, but holy fuck do they take time to create lmaooo, ill make the rest of them in the future.

Kin of Arava

Eastern Kin The descendants of Kin and Beltheans who mixed, that are settled within the empire.

House Resdayn Wanted to see how I could do the houses, still unsure (okay i dont like it) of how it came out. Hence why I started with a minor house that one of the RO's belonged to.

The Astute Emperor and the Imperial Provincial Rule: A Revolutionary Shift in Governance

Master-Scholars of Jelaytha The Jelaythan organization of scholars that Master Feren is from.

Post-Unification Transformations in the Belthean Empire: Trade, Economy, Industry, and Immigration in the Wake of Conquest

Imperial Historians Obviously the imperial faction that wants to get their hands on tutoring you lmao.

Universitas Magistrorum et Scholarium The Jelaythan/Imperial organization at the forefront of the intellectual international community.

Tripartite Alliance Read what the empire is teaching their citizens about how they conquered the alliance.

The Satrap System and Imperial Provincial Rule

The Great Racist of the Academy: Imperial Historian Acillus Cinna

The Sword Saint

Master-Scholar Kaleb

The Gleaming Horizon: Silverhill's Maritime Supremacy The book of a writer who we'll meet ingame. Youll decide whether or not to bully him as a 12 year old lmao.

Baniel Worthton The author of above said book. He even wrote about himself. Yes, it's supposed to be an ick.

The Ulrich Cothon The second book of his that'll feature in the game.

So…I guess in basketball or futbol terms… rebuilding phase is over, and i got all the players i need for a championship run!

It was an almost year long rebuilding phase, true, but omg it was so needed.

Plus I also learned alot of fucking coding at the same time lmao. Basically a lot of tweaking around with Choicescript and knowing how to code some actions. Also there's CoG implementing a new checkpoint system so thank fuck for that because this game's gonna be huge and id hate to play it without a save system.

[cordeliawhohung]

I saw a reblog of the anonymous ask someone sent you about using character ai, and someone responded saying something about how it’s disgusting to even ask that, which is a liiiitle harsh, but I digress.

The issue here, is that there are more people who don’t understand what AI is doing than people who do understand.

ChatGPT, Open AI, Character AI, Gemini, etc ALL steal from published works on the internet. It cannot be prevented, no one can stop it from happening.

I’m not an artist & I don’t publish my writing, but I do genuinely care about the artists and writers who are having their work stolen and receiving absolutely zero credit.

Please, please, please, do not put someone’s work into AI.

If you want to create a character, or a storyline & use character ai, by all means, go for it. But PLEASE, don’t disrespect or disregard these artists by feeding their work into an AI. It completely diminishes all of the hard work they put into their art.

oh boy, nothing like having a post you made in fucking january suddenly gain a fuck ton of attention lmao.

while i understand where you're coming from, i think you completely missed the main point of my response to that anon.

1: i literally explained that ai steals work to that anon. i said it's a pale imitation of what a real human would write. that it takes works that people put so much effort into and regurgitates it out. i told them not to put stuff into ai. i informed them, and i wasn't rude about it either. emotional, maybe, but i wasn't being rude.

2: the main issue i had with that anon, besides the ai grossness, was the insinuation that i'm not "creating enough content" for them. "the readers can interact more with the characters" comment from them really grinds my gears. even if ai didn't steal from creators, and it wasn't a godawful abomination, them wanting me to put my ideas and works into something that they can interact with that isn't through me completely disregards the entire purpose of me having this blog in the first place. which i ALSO explained to them. why would i want to put my work into a 3rd party source and not interact with my followers when that's literally my favorite part of creating? bonding and talking about the shit i put effort into? i had every right to be upset about that, and so does every other writer.

3: i have no control how people reblog my posts. so idk why you're coming in my inbox about what someone else reblogged, really, just to tell me everything that i've already explained to that anon. i know who you're talking about too, because they're a mutual of mine, and honestly, i agree with them. it's disgusting to suggest someone should put something into a third party source so they don't have to wait for me to "churn out works" or whatever. i know people aren't well informed. which is why i informed them on that post and left it at that. i also explained why it's frustrating to receive asks like that, to hopefully prevent them from doing that again.

also, while i have whoever is reading this, i'd also like to mention that the anon who sent that ai ask sent a response back (that i didn't bother to respond to because i wasn't trying to make this a thing) somewhat apologizing and said they asked me that because other blogs on tumblr were doing it too. don't do that. don't assume that just because some people are doing x thing, that means you can suggest it to someone else. it's rude, and comparing blogs is just frustrating in itself.

anyway. i will not be making this a thing. do not come into my inbox debating the ethics of ai or whatever, as i will simply not entertain it. (:

[barrencelenny]

✨fav fics published in 2023 ✨

173 fics (+ 15 podfics) (in English) were published in the coldflash tag in 2023! Bless everybody who continues to write fic for a show that has now ended!! Here is a semi complete list of all my faves from this year in lieu of a Spotify wrapped fics edition!!!

heading off the rails by Sandrine shaw

-let Barry be drunk (for a little bit) that's what I always say! he's in his 20s he should be at the club! and that's where he is here! incredible.

Into the Speed Force by captainicecube

-ahhh I just love fics where the speed force is a character and is also Super Creepy Eldritch Horror about it

detox just to retox (i’d promise you anything) by trespresh

-coming back to this series after years since the previous instalment made me go relisten to disloyal order of water buffaloes and single handedly restarted my fob obsession so thanks for that

Seek Comfort, Find Faith by Annawry

-love when fics just have the characters be cursed by magic. it's already a superhero show set in a universe with canon magic users it's not even a reach. also love when their solution is to fuck about it.

to give hope by Aerica_Menai

-Star Trek mention gives me so much serotonin it’s not even funny + honorary mention to ‘Just Another Tuesday Amongst the Stars’ for also being about Star Trek

small favours in high doses by QLaLa

-pov outsider and teacher!barry you are everything to me. the DTR bit had me in stitches. they're both SO goddamn embarrassing my god.

There’s blood on your teeth (let me get that for you) by SoftBoyDepot

-the tag being “if you’re a fan of Leonard Snart begging this is the fic for you!” and boy did it deliver

I Won’t Ever be Too Far Away to Feel You by RedRidingStiles

-this is the only fic where I would agree with len being a cop because it’s so good. the second hand embarrassment of the initial call from Barry makes my chest hurt but hey, that just tells you how visceral the experience of reading can be lmao

So Long, Scarlet Speedster by HowToKillAVampire

-time! travel! You are everything to me! Time travellers wife-esque situations where they meeting out of sync is catnip to me I’m gobbling this fic right up

The Fair Price of a Plate of Dinner by RetroactiveCon

-hehe love fics where both Barry and len are being little shits and causing problems for Joe. Me 🤝 Len “has no interest in Christmas, but do just about anything to cause problems on purpose”

slipstream by wednesday

- competent! Barry is everything to me. Misunderstanding is delicious to me. Len not knowing how to deal with random acts of kindness is Kryptonite to me. You see how this fic is exactly up my alley

[not-poignant]

Hi! Okay, so I found you originally gods back in like, 2018? Maybe? Time is fake. Anyways you wrote my all time favorite fic, then I found you again recently through A Stain That Won't Dissolve and I am just absolutely devouring this one as much as the other.

My question is, I know you have you original works published (Which I just saw and had no idea about and will be thoroughly checking those out.) But, would you ever do physical copies of any of your AO3 stories? I'm guessing the answer is no on that and that's totally fine!! But the thought of having those fics in my grubby lil hands in the form of paper is such a satisfying thought. But I am just as happy having them in a lil folder in my chrome or downloaded to my phone completely.

Anyways I just need you to know that you are a gods damn holy being and I am so glad you exist because your writing gives me a reason to keep living ;-; thank you!

Hi anon!

So I won't ever do physical copies of my own fanfiction stories, unless I like commission a book binder to make some copies just for me.

But as for my original stories on AO3, I do really want to physically publish them. That was actually the plan for this year - to start doing this - but I hit what I like to call Mega Burnout, and struggled just to write, and have had to backburner a lot of stuff, a lot of plans. I started to edit Game Theory and then...yeah.

It is the plan though! It's become especially true actually with later stories like Underline the Black and Falling Falling Stars. I think these could be really good published as unconventional psychological fiction, and I don't mean 'really good' as in it will make me a lot of money - I don't think they will, Perth Shifters taught me that book publishing isn't for me if I'm doing it for finance reasons lmao - but I mean... just for the satisfaction of seeing my own fucking writing on my own bookshelves.

I'm weak, I want to see it somewhere where it feels substantial, and where I can hold it in my own hands, and it has a cover, and a proper copyright page, and an index. Where it can be not just in ebook form because AO3 will do that for you, but where it can exist for audiences who wouldn't touch AO3 with a 10 foot pole (because they like missing out on great stories or w/e).

It's very indulgent of me, but as I get older, I look at my bookshelves and increasingly think 'those folks who have enjoyed my stories - including me - should at least have the choice to put them on their shelves.'

If you're a bookbinder, or willing to print them out for yourself, and don't sell them in any way or form, you can of course do it for myself.

But it grows so much more important to me over time too. <3

[tragedycoded]

writeblr interview tag!

Thank you to loves @the-golden-comet and @sableglass for tagging me here and here. I need you know I made a serious effort not to be a sarcastic asshole as I answered these questions... four days ago. And then forgot to post them.

Let's ggo!

Short stories, novels, or poems? I published short stories in a previous life, but I suck at following prompts or instructions and have accepted my fate as a novelist.

What genre do you prefer reading? Horror. I'm in my post-cosmic horror era right now. Existential. Yeah. Although I don't write folk horror myself (I'm thinking Laird Barron, T. Kingfisher, Stephen Graham Jones) I do enjoy folk horror v much. Bonus points if the protagonists are middle-aged and it's not about how apartments/houses or children are scary. (No hate to domestic horror, I'm just not the target audience.)

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person? The first draft is me explaining the Situation to myself. If it happens to make even a tiny bit of sense, we're all lucky. Like, that almost never fucking happens. I didn't show Doom Metal Love Story to anyone until the third/fourth draft because any sense it makes came from me rambling at my roommate in the kitchen while high off my ass at ten in the morning last autumn.

I'm a rambler, baby~

What music do you listen to while writing? That depends! Most of the time it's the soundtrack of whatever video game I wish I were playing instead of working LOL. I've always been like this, it's not cute. Sometimes I rotate in a specific heavy metal album I've heard a million times if the vibes aren't right. If I'm really having a good day, it's '80s music.

Favorite books/movies? Yeah man I have some of those!

Favorite book is House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. Yes I realize this is a corny and uninspired answer. This book whipped ass when it was published and it whipped ass when I reread it in 2014 and I'm willing to bet money it would whip ass if I reread it in [current year].

Favorite movie is Aliens. The second one. It's the perfect movie. I refuse to acknowledge any film in the series other than Alien and Aliens. Corporal Hicks and Newt are still alive, you sons of bitches.

Any current WIPs? Yes.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be? A hooded sweatshirt, jeans, no shoes unless I'm out in public. Then it's flip flops. Fingerless gloves if it's chilly and muh arthritis is acting up.

Create a character description of yourself: The smell of pot smoke and the clicking of keystrokes barely penetrates the unopened window. Occasionally, they step out onto the back deck to smoke a cigarette and simultaneously praise and complain about the sun. They might be in their forties. They might own a cat. No one can agree on their height or their gender or whether they actually exist. Can only be contacted through instant message or email. Might be a ghost.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing? Hell, no LMAO. When I realize I've done it accidentally, I feel like I just got read by a therapist.

Are you kill happy with your characters? I may have killed all three main characters in DMLS multiple times, killed Khalid (from A Living Machine) when he was 12, in front of everybody, and I may intend to kill every character who appears in The Cave Dive, but...

... yeah OK there's something wrong with me.

Coffee or Tea while writing? Coffee all day every day.

Slow or fast writer? I type like someone is threatening to tickle my feet if I stop.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from? Uhhhhhhhh...

"OK yeah like that initial idea would be cool and all but make it worse."

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Most fav book cliche: This author comes from the land of "all cliches suck and should be avoided like the plague."

Least favorite cliche: Like the plague.

Favorite scene to write? Fight scenes. If I can't write a fight scene, let me write a fuck scene.

... why do I not write hockey romances, again?

Reason for writing? I've tried all other legitimate forms of occupation. This is the only one that rewards me for my ability to make shit up and type 40 wpm in first draft mode.

Tag! Usual apologizes for double-tagging go here, Jamie is silly.

@lychhiker-writes @cowboybrunch @finickyfelix @saturnine-saturneight

@ashfordlabs @autism-purgatory @noblebs @aintgonnatakethis

@the-golden-comet @asablehart @mauvecatfic @leahnardo-da-veggie

@sableglass @gioiaalbanoart @words-after-midnight

@lavender-bloom @jev-urisk @wyked-ao3

[chiyoso]

update

hi pookie. to those who read this the first time, welcome back, this is a re-write. an update. i kinda found the initial update i did rushed, not clearly descriptive of my situation outside this writing hobby of mine. also for the ones that i tagged, i have notes for you <3 (sorry for the tag 🫶🏻)

alright. hello hello. i'm chiyo, a jjk-focused/sporadic genshin and hsr fanfic writer, and you've caught me, and this blog in such bad time, and im so, so very fucking burnt out.

writing for me should be fun, stress relieving, and that goes for any other hobby i have. i have been told and supported countless of times to take a rest, to take a break from this, but my stubborn ass continues to try and get something out, anything to keep my blog alive, hells, it feels like a toxic relationship where i keep coming back, because i remember all the fun, happy and fond times i had in this app, only then to return to why it becomes draining, exhausting.

just sat there, occasionally laid on my back, using my phone, but with unmoving thumbs, with a brain lacking the world that needs the narrative to make a story, fuck, where has it gone?

that innocent, startup of mine, the newfound love and interest for that world of fiction that you all create. dude, i remember being so happy discovering that this brain of mine can conjure up so many shit, all because of your words, it's fucking amazing. hence, the start of the era of my honkai star rail writing journey. (hsr/hi3rd fans who followed me, i let you down with my jujutsu kaisen brainrot obsession im sorry lmao)

“take a break hira,” “take a break chiyo,” “please, take a break.”

i've heard it all, and with utmost love and respect, thank you.

thank you for everything, every word, every action, and every peep of interest you all had for me. small and big creators, who, stopped by because of my small percent chance drop in on their feed, because of the stories i created that you shared, i've met so many wonderful, inspring and motivating people in tumblr, fuck, i didn't expect to crrate a little community all by myself, with my grit alone, it's so rewarding for someone who strives for perfection, for someone who struggles with her mental health daily, for someone who deluded themselves in a world of fiction, I can't express my genuine gratitude enough.

i'm not quitting. maybe i should've mentionrd that earlier to prevent you from getting rattled, but continuing off, i don't find myself quitting this writing journey, maybe i'm just not in the right mental headspace for it at this time. damn, my ex really fucked me up LMAO.

right, i'm aware of the less and lessening interactions i've had with the people i've encountered throughout tumblr, i feel sick of myself for not being able to catch up, nor interact with any of you as much as i could anymore, it really, really fucking sucks, i hate it, i hate it, i do.

i still have leftover projects to go over and publish, because i still want MY ideas, MY thoughts, MY worlds of fictional prowess to all of you. i'm not done, but i will say, that i'm- i'm so incredibly, so very sorry to the ones that were highly, to the heavens, expecting greatness from me, to the ones who were anticipating my unfinished stories, fuck, there's so much to do, yet my body, my mind, they do not respond, as if i'm losing my sense of time, literally.

all i can say to those sticking with me because of their plain interest for me, i wish, i pray, i'll beg, beg for me, my soul, my mind, my body, my spirit to heal, and heal faster, so i can love you all at my 100%, not with my trying 20%, and lower.

thank you. to the old, and to the recent supporters that got me to 3k followers and counting, fuckin' wild. actually insane.

i'll continue to write. i'll continue to create. i don't want to quit.

i don't want to leave the only thing that gave me freedom, and the genuine happiness the first time, making me discover shit about myself, and there's that.

p.s. apologies for my jjk brainrot everyone who followed for genshin and hsr <3 also that one popular otome game, love & deepspace? yeah, that shit's also fucking me up so good.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: (lawd i feel bad for tagging)

@ainescribe @wanderingconstellations @teapartyspilled @v3lv3tf0x @ciarchivez ⸻ you fucking OGS. literally five pillars of my life, the cheerleaders, my absolute undying support of this blog, you saw me at my noob tumblr handling form, the lows, the highs, and the absolute peaks, i consider all of you special, i do, you all made tumblr and the writing community such a fun place for me. thank you, thank you, i just can't spam that voiceline enough.

@peachdues @screampied @chuluoyi @blkkizzat @jabamin @flametrashira @meowzfordayz ⸻ you superstar mutuals of mine. we've only interacted sporadically, PLEASE BLAME MY BURNOUT AND COLLEGE SCHEDULE FOR THAT, but all of you invoked so much burning hope, and motivation for me through your stories, AND your interests for me, whether it'd be something about my themes, edits, stories, it doesn't matter, you all took interest in lil' ol me, despite what, being such big content creators? FUCK??? that's insane. thank you.

god, i seriously wish my schedule would just clear up by a fuckton, and then again, i was the one who took psychology and performing arts 💤 i hope, hope HOPE i get to interact with you all again once i take a leave/break from college.

⸻ with all my love, chiyo.

[divorcedfiddleford]

Random but - if you were given an opportunity to rewrite Ford's character and his arc in the show (and later J3), how would it be like?

canon gay and trans

so the thing is that i think most of how ford himself is written is really really good! i just think that the writers (particularly alex) have a bias against him, and so a lot of the narrative ends up feeling like he's either being punished or being forced to atone for his past. so i'm gonna ramble and daydream for a bit but i want to be clear i actually really like how he's written in general (yes, even in the book that i have so much beef with!!)

there's very few moments of catharsis for him, and those that he gets are either short (reunion with fiddleford) or undermined by the writers' bias (the ending of journal 3 where he burns all his bill stuff but has to keep reminding us that he was stupid for trusting bill in the first place). so i think a lot of the problems i have would be resolved with tonal shifts and a few cuts, like that fucking scene in the stanchurian candidate with the mind control tie. the implication of reaganite ford is bad enough but then to have a guy who has very specific trauma relating to being mind controlled/not being in control of his own body just hand that over is really fucking stupid. then again i think that whole episode is stupid so i'd end up rewriting all of it lmao

i've said before but if i really had my way i'd cut roadside attraction entirely and replace it with another ford episode. i loved how goofy and fun dd&md was and i think if more of that lighthearted side of him was shown it would endear him to the audience more. a long time ago i had an idea for an episode where they go back to the bunker and ford basically does puppy talk to the shapeshifter who is actively trying to kill them. i never followed this idea through to its conclusion but i think it still sounds entertaining, plus it would also give more time for him to reunite with fiddleford so it wouldn't have to be squeezed in the finale.

speaking of the finale... my personal fantasy is that i'd love to have a scene stuck in there where stan apologizes to ford. it REALLY stood out to me that despite all their fighting, ford still at least says the words "i'm sorry" to stan. stan never apologizes for anything he did to ford - neither for breaking his project, nor for banishing him to the hell dimension for 30 years. i get that they were mistakes, but you still have to apologize for mistakes (and if i allow myself to get very self-indulgent for a second, i've often thought the whole story would be a lot more resonant if stan broke ford's machine on purpose). i had a whole section in here where i talked about what a scene like this would look like but it was so long... if people want to hear more about it i'll say more but it's the kind of thing that warrants its own post.

anyway. moving on from the show itself. so possibly my hottest take is that i think journal 3 should not have been published KJSHDFLGKHSDFGUIWEHRGJSDF. basically i think instead of trying to write the actual journal 3 they should have picked a handful of stories from his research era that they wanted to tell and made a graphic novel about that. i got WAAAAAAAYYYY off topic and wrote PARAGRAPHS about this but it's not related to the question you asked so i'll just summarize by saying i think it would play more to their strengths as writers, leave more to the imagination, and they could leave out all those fucking retcons that i hate

as it is, though, again, i think that ford is written pretty well in the journal. there are a few off-handed comments and lines that give me "he would not fucking say that" vibes but overall it very realistically portrays what it's like for someone to be manipulated, isolated, drawn away from his loved ones, etc. it's a very poignant story which resonated with a lot of people, myself included. again my main problem is that it's undercut with the writers being like "BROOOOO HE'S JUST LIKE ICARUS!! FLEW TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN!!!!!!!!" as though it's all his fault, and that it ends on a very moralizing "i learned my lesson" note. so really the biggest characterization problems i have with journal 3 have to do with fiddleford, but that's a whole other can of worms

anyway i hope this was... interesting? informative?? i hope i answered your question to your satisfaction. have a nice day :)

[olderthannetfic]

I've just read an article (in Gazeta Wyborcza) about a very popular series of books among young teens in my country, Poland, called "Rodzina Monet" (Family Monet). The author gained popularity while publishing on Wattpad lol. The article basically said that it's problematic because these books are read by young girls, even 10 years old, and it glorifies violence. Plus it just isn't well written - there were some fragments in the article and yeah it's not well written lmao. A woman in the comments said that her daughter is reading this book and asked if she should forbid it. Since no one answered her, I replied that I don't think forbidding the book is a good solution and suggested talking to her daughter about it, showing her the article and asking what she thinks about it. But I don't know anything more about that situation, for example how old the daughter is. I don't think I'd worry if my child were to read this book, I read trashy stuff too. But I started wondering if maybe there should be some control in such a case? The thing with the books from what I gathered (I haven't read them) is that they are about a 14yo girl, who suddenly lost her mother and grandmother, is sent away to US from Britain where she starts living with her 28yo (handsome) stepbrother and his 3 (also handsome) brothers. She lives in a beautiful villa since the stepbrother is super rich. He's also cold and distant and doesn't understand that she has issues with food (she has some kind of eating disorder). Some of the things he and his 3 brothers do can be described as domestic violence but they apologize, buy her expensive stuff and are all adult handsome men. Yeah it's a young adult fiction. The thing is that it's just not well written so none of the bad behaviours is commented upon.

--

Sounds like typical godawful id trash that people eat up. Making a rule against it will just make it more tantalizing.

It would be far more valuable to kick any worthless partners out of one's life and demonstrate not putting up with shit to a tween girl than to ban her from reading trashy books.

One could always try buying her something better, but IME, people who try that always do it wrong: they buy books that are better written, yes, but the vocabulary and sentence structure are a thousand times harder, there's zero iddy wish fulfillment, and the plot is something fucking depressing and supposedly edifying.

Readers can smell a tryhard "your taste is bad" gift a mile away.

I think it's also important when trying to find replacement trash to understand what the kink actually is. Why is it age gap? Well, have you seen 14-year-olds? They're awkward and covered in zits. Of course the protagonist is young like the readers and the hotties are older.

More importantly, why is it abusive? Absolute idiots will be like "Because society taught girls wah wah wah wah wah", but the actual reason is obvious if you've read trash romance for adults:

It's so the love interest(s) can be in the wrong.

The self inserty protagonist of this type of story has very little power. Not only is she usually younger, but she's poorer, a fish out of water in a new situation, etc. The way she gets power is by the love interest doing something absolutely horrible, realizing they have erred, and then groveling forever. Their guilt is an effective way to manipulate them. And yes, retail therapy is usually the next step from this particular trash classic all the way back to The Flame and the Flower.

You can try giving a teen girl a book about a teen girl action hero who is awesome and whose love interest likes her because of that... But if the reader doesn't feel awesome, she's still going to prefer a book about a loser with a destined, fated love or a misunderstood woobie whom other characters have to grovel to after not initially realizing she was special.

You can't fix self esteem by handing someone a book they don't identify with and telling them their id is wrong. And if self esteem does improve, that doesn't mean the lizard brain is going to switch trash fiction tastes anyway.

One can try leaving other fun books around, but that's about the most that could be helpful.

[geekwiththeglasses]

Would love to hear you rant about Fourth Wing. That book makes me so mad lmao

I literally dashed to my desktop when I saw this because this deserves a desktop response (out of character for a millenial/genz cusper I actually type much faster with a keyboard).

Now to note, I am only 50% done with the book so far so this is limited to that (though I have watched spoiler reviews so I feel justified in my thoughts because I know it's not getting better).

By the way, I learned that this entire series was a publisher request, not like a passion project of Yarros and while I ain't judging (I would do it in a heartbeat if it meant I could pay rent for the next year), to me, you can kinda feel it, like there's a distinct lack of creative verve. You can especially feel it in how shallow everything (and everyone) feels.

A read more because this became obnoxiously long (it's almost 2000 words) and I respect people's dashboards.

Except for this article about toxic perseverance which I think everyone should have to read if they've read Fourth Wing.

There are, first of all, some major issues with this book. The biggest one is, of course, the toxic perseverance, which is covered quite well in the article, but if you're not going to read it, to pull a quote from it:

Creating a narrative in which a character with a disability overcomes all of their pain and other symptoms through force of will alone sets unrealistic expectations—unrealistic expectations which are, as I mentioned previously, a very real issue for very real disabled people in our very real world.  I believe we should have seen some impact of that lifestyle if the author was trying to engage with this intentionally. Because fiction is not created in a vacuum and this narrative goes unproblematised in-text, it’s unclear whether Yarros actively endorses this mindset, or is accidentally endorsing it, neither of which is good.

Just to elaborate a little on something I didn't see in the article, but this book hates the idea of accommodations. Like it's a horrible, horrible thing and how dare you ever suggest Violet might need something as disgusting as a saddle to stay on the equivalent of an airplane. It's not like accommodations are something that actually can end up helping non-disabled people as well. There wasn't potential for a scene where she actually acknowledged she needed help and suddenly everyone's like "hey, that's actually really smart, we should totally do this too, this makes life much easier/safer and will improve everyone's quality of life". Or even just a scene where it only helps her but damn it helps her a lot because it takes in to account her needs and specific body. Because that would require acknowledging that Violet has limitations and not allow her to power through the pain. And also get thrown from her dragon repeatedly, which definitely doesn't fuck up her joints.

Rhiannon gets so shafted. She gets the double whammy of two stereotypes: the black best friend and the promiscuous bisexual. She's seen with multiple partners, none of which seem like long-term or serious partners. And while some bisexual people have more sex with more people than others, if you're going to do that, include more than one bisexual person in your story. She has very little to do with the story unless she is there for the white, straight main character. We've gotten her helping Violet, but so far there's zero dedicated scenes of that tutoring help that was offered in the beginning and as far as I know we never get it (I may be wrong). I hear we get her family later, but that they're also glossed over for More Important Things. It doesn't feel like Rhiannon (or honestly any other character) exists except for when they're around Violet. They all kinda blend together, which at the 50% mark is fucking unacceptable. What is special about them, distinguishes them from the others other than Liam (is it Liam? whoever her bodyguard is) who whittles? There is so little to distinguish any background characters except for Dain. Even Xaden feels lackluster and a bit hazy around the edges, like he never finished rendering.

Let's not forget that Yarros is 100% a military wife and a US military bootlicker and from what I've heard she's had some unsavory and unsupportable opinions on Palestine. We do not like.

She also took Gaelic names and just decided the pronunciation doesn't matter??? Insulting.

Onto the less serious issues:

Firstly, as to my previous complaint, the entirety of Dain's storyline is the most impressive speedrun in character assassination I have ever seen. I described it to a friend as Yarros lovingly caressing a 2x4 before repeatedly beating you over the head with it. He gets like... a scene to be besties and then immediately he must be the worst thing to ever exist, specifically to prop up Xaden. Dain is the asshole holding her back, unlike Xaden who pushes her to be her best (entirely ignoring that her body literally has physical limitations and accommodations are not a dirty word)! He's such a rule follower, but Xaden understands when to bend or break them (pay no attention to him breaking all the rules to try to get her into the scribe's quadrant)! He doesn't believe her immediately when she accuses someone of murder, but Xaden absolutely believes her with no proof (let's forget that Amber is a good friend of Dain and that it would honestly be natural to want to believe that your friend isn't capable of cold-blooded murder with zero proof especially since that would lead to her execution which Violet somehow forgot would be a consequence of her accusation). Dain is overprotective and condescending to Violet (I mean he wasn't the one to force her to have a bodyguard, but he just doesn't believe in her). I bet he doesn't even wash his ass. Xaden definitely washes his ass.

Murder college makes zero sense, especially since she definitely based the military off the US (which makes sense since it's the one she has the most exposure to). Most militaries that I am aware of have rather high requirements for physical fitness, especially an academy for officers (which, in Yarros' face, I actually have experience with, as my father went to the Naval Academy so I know for a fact they're strict as hell with requirements). The US military won't even let you be slightly overweight, even if you can fulfill the physical requirements. It was hard to find any info on whether EDS would out and out disqualify you, but the fact that it wasn't even brought up as a barrier for entry that she had to overcome does not make sense to me.

Ah, I hear someone hypothetically argue, but the college is supposed to (theoretically) weed out the weak so they'll let anyone in who wants to join! Ok, then why is Violet the only physically disabled person in the entire college? I have been to rodeos with bull riders who were amputees, but there ain't one person missing an arm or a leg in that college. The only other disabled person we get so far is a scribe, but you're telling me not one deaf person wants to be a rider? Why is Violet the only one that gets to be "exceptional"?

Back to the murder part of murder college, the fact that this is a murder college gets technically lampshaded, but never really justified in why people keep coming. Like it's not some greater commentary on the lengths people will go for power or greatness or the insidious nature of military propaganda. It just felt like we needed to up the stakes that our protagonist was in danger at every turn, but honestly I never feel like the stakes are that high, because, well, she keeps emphasizing how much danger her life is in, how screwed and dead she is. And if her life is always in danger, it's never in danger.

Speaking of murder, the story doesn't challenge the idea that "weed out the weak through murder" doesn't actually work but just kills people and probably gives the survivors like the worst anxiety (because if everything can kill you your mental health will probably deteriorate). It's like that meme:

Basgiath War College: I have made the perfect rider Me: you fucked up a perfectly good person is what you did. Look at him. He's got anxiety.

Why is Violet so enlightened and above having any prejudice? If anything she should have way more animosity towards the rebel kids than she does. It's literally stated in text that she was not immune to the propaganda and misinformation she's read, but you want me to believe that between (what she believes is) losing a brother to the rebellion and a mother who was kinda involved, not to mention growing up in a group that would be full of anti-rebel propaganda she somehow didn't end up believing anything beyond "yeah some of them will definitely want you dead" which is true??? Instead she's fine with them and will definitely sit with rebel kids because unlike people who grew up with probably less or about the same propaganda than her, she knows not to judge people for the sins of their parents. Those other kids are just so much more prejudiced than she is, isn't she wonderful and has zero biases to unlearn. Oh, you may say, but she thought Xaden was going to kill her! He literally does confirm that the only reason initially he doesn't kill her is to keep a hold of his humanity which does actually confirm that he wants her dead! So the narrative even confirms that this bias was, in fact, the correct opinion to have.

I do not understand why Violet and Xaden are drawn to each other beyond Xaden hot. I am asexual and somewhere on the aromantic spectrum so perhaps it is just not in my nature to understand the ways of the heterosexuals, but I don't get it. Why does she like him? The only reason given is he's hot. Maybe a reason is given later down the line but this is a romantasy. You live and die by building up that damn romance and I am not convinced! I haven't even been given like a "oh I see him with his dragon and it's heart meltingly cute how he interacts with her". Is this why Dain had to be assassinated (we are holding his burial next week by the way, there will be funeral potatoes)? So that Xaden had something to be compared to because he has all the substance of one of those inflatable dancing men?

(Dance, Xaden, dance.)

Yarros cannot do exposition, it's so jarring. She tells us so much, shows little, and bores me the entire time. You seriously decide to make exposition a character quirk for when she needs to calm down? Seriously???? The parapet scene was hard to listen to because you were jerked around like a rag doll between quick action and exposition. Who thought that was a good idea? Exposition is always a difficult thing to include and make it work and sound natural, but this is not how you do it.

A minor complaint, but once you learn Yarros is Mormon you cannot unsee the fingerprints of Mormonism throughout this book. People do not cuss like people, they cuss like you put fuck into a fresh AI and asked it to try it out. I cuss like a sailor and I was wondering why it felt so jarring until I realized that it's not how people talk. I mean Holy. Fucking. Hot. I'm well the fuck aware. You tried ma'am, you tried. Here's a gold star. Also, I'm 99% sure there is zero alcohol. You seriously want me to believe that none of these kids are sneaking in alcohol? That no one is using booze to cope with being in a murder college? As if, we all know these kids are making midnight dragon runs to the liquor store.

Also, the fact that I had to hear an audiobook narrator try to make this dialogue and prose sound like something that would actually come out of a human mouth was truly something to behold. The fact that "for the win" was not left in the 2010s where it belonged is an outrage. If I had a better memory I would put in more quotes cause there have been other doozies.

But really, the greatest crime this book commits, is that it has the audacity to be boring. You give me dragons and you have the sheer, unmitigated gall to bore me. I will accept a lot from a book. I will accept plot holes. I will ignore shallow world building. I will tolerate character assassinations. Do all that if you must, but at the very least make it interesting. This book is not interesting. I listen to a few chapters at a time and I am not having a good time. I only continue out of sheer stubbornness and feeling an obligation that for once I should actually read a book that I have seen negative reviews about to see if perhaps it is not so bad.

I just happened to pick a book where it is, in fact, that bad.

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 03.07.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

stardust - @euphoricfilter (jjk x reader | fluff, smut, f2l)

summary:  if jungkook would have known an unintentional orgasm would have led to this, then he would have begged you to work out with him sooner.

naur bby when i tell you i loved this from the first paragraph...

"If every living being’s foundation is made of stardust, scattered when born, then Jungkook thinks the two of you were made from the same star."

and the way you continued the analogy throughout was pure literature gold (or should i say diamond teehee). its stuff like this that i read and im like damn, the moots are really out here posting fics that could easily be published best sellers for fucking free!! how lucky are we!!!

OOF AND THE PILLOW PRINCESS COMMENT HAD ME LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM BLUSHING BC HOW DOES HE KNOW ME LIKE THAT I FELT CALLED OUT LMAO

and the whole workout scene hits even better after his workout live like i legit was able to visual everything... and sex in the mirror will never not be top tier :')

i love this jungkook dearly. this is how i imagine irl jk yk? just that hopeless romantic vibe, feeling that he has someone on this earth that is meant for him and he's meant for them. thats encapsulated so beautifully in this fic. such beautiful writing, thank you for blessing us with this fucking masterpiece!!

knee high socks - @minniesvenus (jjk x reader | smut, college au)

summary: after being obsessed with you and your knee high socks for forever, jungkook can't believe that you finally notice him.

okay so do you ever just hear a song or smell a smell that feels so incredibly nostalgic and fills your head with dreamy thoughts and stars and stuff... that's exactly how i felt while reading this! like i just kept thinking of the arctic monkeys song and the way you characterized jungkook's crush is just so authentic. its just that pure school crush feeling where you anticpate seeing this person and the more time you see them you pick up on little things and it makes you fall even deeper oof. there's just something so fimilair about the way you wrote this and it's probably one of the most realistic depictions i've seen of the natural progression of a crush like uGH THE FUCKING TALENT !!!

and it makes you root for him so much like i was internally cheering for him when she asked him to sit next to him. it was so fucking wholesome and sweet i screamed

and then shit got unwholesome real quick whew

her giving him praise actually made me so happy though! like you definitely inspired me to write more of that bc its so refreshing and cute!! and the smut was saur naughty but so sweet bc she was just guiding him through the motions and once again it just felt so natural which is no easy feet!! like you really hit the nail on the head with this one and it will be added to my comfort fic list asap!! so so so lovely!!

in the seom: love for dummies - @thvhoe (jjk x reader | smut, fluff, angst, fwb, college au, camping au)

summary: always the friend, never the girlfriend. jeon jungkook doesn't date. at least that's what he thought until he met you, a chemistry student who seemed to have it all—except for love. meeting at a mutual friends frat party, you hit it off right away. however, due to both of your stubbornness, it has never progressed beyond being friends with benefits. the annual camping trip with your friend group was supposed to be the turning point in your relationship with jungkook. but what happens when your best friend of 18 years unexpectedly comes back from busan and confesses to you, further complicating matters?

OoF WHAT A FUCKING OPENING SCENE LMAO!! i was horny from fucking JUMP!!! and kook juggling between pet names and not knowing what to call her made me giggle but always made me extremely soft like aw :') &lt;3

and y/n really whipped that fuckboy into shape we love to see it!! he better buy gifts n work for the coochie!!! >:(

"Pookie🩶: Can't sleep. Send me a pic of your boobies?"

this had me cackling bc this behavior is saur... annoyingly endearing like he legit is a big baby and i love him lmao even though unholy he is extremely cute.

^y/n and i both having immaculate taste and listening to ditto

and i am so thankful things turned out well for this pairing. i felt so sad for him like ugh the protectiveness and worry over her. he was generally just so wholesome throughout this entire fic. def a fav protrayal of jungkook. thank you so much for sharing this beautiful peice with us my love!