#where it throws up its stomach and releases what it's eaten to try and scare predators off because it makes them look bigger and murkier

[nutklcker]

When the triggering illness returns

[mad-men-inc]

Fragments from Beyond The Stars -- Rescue.

So ya boi wrote a thing, lmao. Enjoy some Star Wars bullshit! Basically my OCs (along with togruta!Kit) in a universe ive been on and off making for like 2-3 months. Please, dear god, ask me about them and the story if you’re interested. I would kill for you :eyes:

Kit slammed the door open, the woman at the head of the table merely raising an eyebrow at the loud entrance. The man sitting two chairs to her left stood up, his hand going to the blaster hanging off his belt, but between the woman's hand wave and Kit's own blaster aimed at his face, he conceded and left through a side door, paying a single glance back to the woman.

"Kit, I presume?"

"Where's Sam." It was barely a question, the hardness in Kit's voice making it clear that they werent here to play the woman's game.

"Tut tut, little Fighter. Not even going to ask how I know?"

"I know enough about you to know you pulled any intel from Sam's head, so tell me where she is before I pull the answer from yours." The response was growled, and the woman.. laughed. She tilted her head back, elegantly, and laughed to the ceiling.

"Oh, that's precious! You have just the fire I expected you to- you're just like she described." Her tone was mocking, teasing, light. Too fucking light. Kit fired their blaster, right for her cocky fucking face, but she held up a hand and stopped the laser in midair, halfway between her and Kit.

"Now, now. That's just rude," the joking tone gave way to offense, and the laser fell to the table's surface, sizzling out. "Play nicely or I'll have my men kill your little girlfriend."

Kit growled lowly, any fear at facing a Force user snuffed out by the threat to their friend- leader- partner. Still, they took the message, holstering their blaster and crossing their arms over their chest defiantly. A knife settled into each hand, slipped from the wrist guards they wore. "Fine. Take me to her."

The woman stood up, her hands resting delicately, balancing on her fingertips, against the table's surface. "Why would I do that, when it's more fun to keep you in suspense? She cried for you, you know," she circled the table, closing the distance between herself and Kit, one hand trailing over the table next to her. "She screamed and begged for you to stay away. To let her die, so you could stay free. Unfortunately, you didnt get the message-" a mocking pout "-apologies about that."

Kit didnt believe this woman, no matter how much that sounded exactly like their Sam. They wouldn't believe a word she said.

She continued, before they could interject any protests though. "I silenced her of course, dont worry. Couldnt have her scaring you off, now could i?" She was closer than Kit would like, her free hand coming up to flick at the tip of their montrals.

Kit finally uncrossed their arms, both hands shoving towards the woman full force. The blades sunk into her sides, the woman shouting and sending a Force wave into Kit. They flew backwards, through the door they had left open. The knives remained in the woman's sides.

They stood upright against the wall, ignoring the pain in their back, as they moved down the hallway. They opened every door searching for the woman they came for, their team leader, their fucking girlfriend, finally finding her in a tiny closet-like room that had become a makeshift cell, at the end of the hallway.

Kit's hands found her shoulders, helping Sam sit upright. As soon as she saw Kit's face, she started crying, shaking her head frantically.

"Go, go go go, go, get out of here, go-" she was begging, the words almost incoherent with how slurred and soft they were. Sam was.. out of it. Her eyes were unfocused and she was hardly breathing, she was covered in bruises and cuts and burns, she looked like she had barely eaten anything with how much thinner she was-- and she was trembling in Kit's hold.

They shook their head without a word, untying Sam's hands and easing her up with the wall as support."We have to go, Sammy," Kit was trying to hide their frantically beating heart, keeping their voice steady and level.

"Cant- cant, we cant, im- i cant go-" she was crying, shaking her head more, her chest was jerking with silent sobs that was followed by a flinch every time.

"I dont care if you cant walk, I’ll carry you, we have to go," Kit was getting nervous, glancing behind them at the doorway before slipping their arm under Sam's legs so they could scoop her up.

"Bomb- im- I'm a b-bomb, I cant go, its-- distance, I can't, I cant- Kitty, you have to go, please, please go-" her shoves were weak against Kit's chest and arms, but they got the point across well enough.

They stood upright anyway, keeping hold of Sam. "What's the range?" They moved out to the hallway, treading carefully as they waited for the answer.

"Wh- about the ship size, dont- cant leave it, she said- said itll kill anyone in 15- 15 feet, its tied to the- core. Core, core, if we break it-"

"You two arent breaking anything." Eliza spoke from behind the pair, Kit turning on their heels to face her. She was holding one arm across her sides, her other hand holding a lightsaber to the side. The weapon was off, but Sam's breath still caught and she started shaking, pressing against Kit tighter.

"Drop me and run- I've got her, please go-" she tried to tell Kit, but the togruta didnt pay her any mind. They ducked into the room that was beside them quickly, slamming the door behind them with their foot.

The room looked just like the one they had found Liza in before, so they ran for the side door and sprinted down the new hallway. The comm link on their wrist beeped once, Sam reaching over and activating it with a shaking hand.

"Kit, what's the story?" Evan's voice filtered through the device, Sam nearly sighing in relief. The gang was here to help. Maybe they did have a chance..

"I need you or Jason to pull up the schematics. There's a ranged bomb on Sam- we have to blow the core if we want to get her out of here alive." Kit spoke evenly, looking around them for some kind of sign that they were going the right way towards the core of the ship.

"Can never be easy with you fuckers, huh?" Jason spoke up, his voice riddled with amusement. He didnt wait for a retort, immediately setting about calling directions for Kit to take. 

The pair were lucky in avoiding trooper patrols, and Liza had seemingly fucked off, so they arrived at the core drive quickly. Kit set Sam down by the door, giving her the comm link while they fished through their backpack for the explosive devices they always carried now. Too many times had they come in handy, for them to forget to bring a few.

Sam took the blaster from Kit's side, her grip strong but her aim shaking as she pointed the weapon at the door. If anyone walked through it, they would be dead -- probably.

Soft beeps echoed through the room as Kit placed the devices, all synchronizing with their detonator. They would need to get out of there first, get to their own escape ship before setting this place on a path to hell.

The door slid open, Sam opening fire until a strong Force had her finger stilling on the trigger. Kit ducked behind the massive core, cursing silently as Eliza strolled into the room and disarmed Sam. She wasnt holding her sides anymore, and Kit realized she had probably taken a hypo-syringe; she was fucking healed.

Sam trembled in the hold, immobile and hating every second of it. Eliza hummed, the same tune as always- Sam flinched and immediately squeezed her eyes shut as her whole body tensed up.

"That'a girl. You know it was very dumb of you to think you're getting out of here. And your actions.." the lightsaber ignited, Sam whimpering quietly as the red light flickered over her face. "Have consequences. Open your eyes, Samantha. I want you to watch this one. I want your little partner to watch this one."

She was cocky, far too cocky, and Kit snuck around the core to get closer to her. She wouldnt fucking touch their Sam any more- except she did.

The blade rested on Sam's side, right where one of Kit's knives had gone into the woman, and their breath hitched. Sam was lucky her goal wasnt to kill her. Or.. was she?

She shrieked, her muscles straining under the Force hold- she wanted to get away, to move, to run, to something, anything, but she was just as helpless now as she had been when she was first fucking taken.

"And what a shame it is theres nothing you can say to stop me this time. I don't want your information anymore. I want your fucking screams." And scream she did, as the laser was finally lifted up, only to be pushed against her other side.

Kit flinched at the sound, before sucking in a breath and moving to get behind the woman. They ran at her quietly, yanking her backwards so the blade left Sam. As soon as it was off, they jumped on her back and fought to drag her to the ground.

Liza slammed her back against one of the core relays, Kit wincing but not letting go. Their arm wrapped around her throat, pulling tighter as the pair fought each other off.

Finally, Liza snagged Kit in a force hold, throwing them off of her back- they slid across the ground and stopped next to Sam. Sam, who was able to move but still stuck frozen. Terror and pain clashed with their desire to protect her partner, and her trembling hands were of no use. Kit seized up next to her, as Liza got her bearings right.

Sam recognized the straining of their muscles, the same way hers would move when she was fighting off the Force. She had to move. 

Liza was coming closer, her hand closing around the hilt of her lightsaber. Sam had to move. She had to move. She had to move- the blaster was in her hand, she pulled the trigger and nailed Liza in the shoulder, the woman yelling in pain and outrage. Her grip on Kit released, but she was close enough anyway that she sent her boot straight into Sam's stomach, the girl doubling over and coughing.

"Bad. Dog." She growled, and Sam yelped as another well-aimed kick landed on her already broken ribs. Another, aimed at the fresh burns on her sides. She curled up, shielding her face but otherwise letting the Sith hurt her. Her chest jerked with sobs, and soft apologies filtered from her lips, muffled by her arms.

Kit had snatched up the blaster and gotten out of the way as soon as Liza had let them go, horror stilling their hand as they barely heard their girlfriend apologize for saving their life- what had happened here..? Did they even want to know?

They shook their head, firing twice into Eliza's back. The woman fell forward with a cry, her body curled over Sam's.

Sam sobbed and trembled and stilled, waiting for someone else to move first. Liza wasnt dead, of fucking course she wasnt, but she would be soon enough anyway. Kit holstered their blaster again, pulling Sam out from under the bitch. She flinched but stayed quiet, her eyes shut tight and her face pressed against Kit's chest.

Together, they ran, getting farther from the core and closer to the hangar that Kit had gotten in through. It passed by in a blur, Sam dazed and afraid, so much smaller than Kit was used to in every sense of the word. She was quiet and curled in on herself, she was thin and shaking, pale and... afraid. She was afraid.

That was... new. Not new, not really, Kit had seen her more afraid when it was their life on the line, but this was a terror that didnt go away, that left a haunting look in Sam's eyes and a bad taste in both of their mouths. This was a fear that would follow her, they were sure.

The little ship that they called home (more of a home than the Resistance base anyway) picked them up with a quick fly-by, Kit and Sam landing hard on the loading ramp as they lept to safety. Jason helped them inside, Kit setting off the explosives just before they flew away. Sam shook harder as the explosions sounded behind them, her wide eyes never leaving the hangar door, unblinking and unmoving.

They flew away for a few moments, waiting for the hyperdrive to warm up and prepare (and likely making sure Sam wasnt about to explode), before they jumped to light speed. Sam finally, finally blinked and looked away from the window, as the white lines that would be stars passed by, slowly making her dizzy.

JA-K13 scanned her for injuries as soon as she turned, the robot giving a false sigh and muttering about not being able to fix this mess, before he set about getting her to sit down so he could try and do exactly that.

Kit sat by her side, their eyes roaming over the tons of wounds that they knew would only get worse if they didnt get back to base soon. Sam needed a real medibay..

Sam, for her part, pretended as if everything was okay. She faked a close-lipped smile, her ever-shaking hand resting on top of Kit's between them. Neither spoke.

Neither wanted to discuss what had happened back there. But Kit couldnt look away from the tear tracks running over Sam's cheeks, and Sam couldnt stop seeing flashing images of Kit, dead at their feet, the blaster in her own hand and smoking.

Kit knew they were lucky to escape alive, but Sam wasnt sure they truly had escaped. After all, the past always caught up, didnt it? And hers was especially persistent.

[squiggle-dragon]

So, I've decided to also post full chapters of Faded here in addition to Ao3. So, here's the second chapter.

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Chapter 2: "Do I know you?"

Soul cracked his eyes open, vision blurring initially as sunlight filtered in. 'Daylight…? Fuck… how long was I out for?'

He was resting on a nest of blankets in some sort of contraption, similar to a basket. While Soul was not necessarily up-to-date with the technological advances of the world, he at least managed to acquire a fair amount of knowledge.

'Plastic basket,' he decided, lightly pushing against the sides with a furry paw despite his body's protest. He started to stretch, immediately thinking better of it when pain shot through every square inch of his small form. The youkai paused, noticing a makeshift cast on his other foreleg, 'What's this…? A splint?' Soul scrutinized it, narrowing his blood-colored eyes before giving it a tentative sniff. The scent of antiseptic burned his nasal passages and he sneezed profoundly, wrinkling his nose in displeasure, 'Absolutely horrible.'

Memories of the previous night returned to the forefront of his mind and his lip curled slightly, 'They'll be six feet under the ground when I recover.' The fox drew his lips back further into a fierce snarl, digging his claws into the blanket, 'And I'll hunt down that cocky bear and turn it into a bear skin rug. No one jumps me like that when I'm-'

"Oh, you're awake!"

Soul screeched in surprise, fur standing on end and eyes wide with alarm. Raising his gaze, he spotted the source of the voice and stared at her warily. She seemed relatively young from what he could tell, as humans aged very differently than youkai. Their eyes met and Soul squinted slightly as a peculiar feeling overcame him.

‘I’ve seen those eyes before… somehow…’

The pigtailed girl knelt down next to the basket, lightly resting her arms on the edge of it and peering down at him, “I didn’t mean to startle you. Sorry about that.” The human offered a warm smile, which he felt himself relax slightly at, “You’ve been out for two days. I was really starting to worry about you, little fox. I gave you some antibiotics and-”

‘Anti-whats-is?’

“-just in case. I mean, you got beaten up by a huge bear of all things! You’re lucky I could scare it off!”

She grinned at him, and he was sure he’d blush if he wasn’t currently two feet tall and covered in fur. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt oddly embarrassed.

“You also broke your leg,” she continued, her smile fading into a look of concern. Her green eyes traveled down to the splint currently on his left foreleg and he followed her gaze, nostrils flaring slightly at remembering the scent of chemicals.

“I hope you’re comfortable,” the girl added after a small pause, hunching over slightly. “I just kinda had to use what was available. Unfortunately, that ended up being the laundry basket.”

His ears flattened against his skull and he glared up at her, growling lightly, ‘Are you serious?! Your dirty clothes were in here, weren’t they?!’

Taken aback ever so slightly by his suddenly hostile aura, his absent-minded savior frowned, “Hey, I launder my clothes daily, okay?”

‘So they WERE!’ he hissed angrily.

She narrowed her eyes and puffed out her cheeks a bit, clearly able to tell he was agitated with her, “Would you calm down? I’m quite clean! Do you actually understand me or something? Because this doesn’t seem like normal wild animal aggression to me….” He froze at her words, so she continued, “You only have to deal with me for a bit, okay? As soon as you’re healed up, I’ll release you back out so you can continue your moodiness elsewhere.”

Soul let out an audible snort, achingly rising to a seated position despite the cast. He furrowed his brows, starting to feel light headed almost immediately, 'Oh right… I haven't eaten in a few days.'

The youkai squinted slightly, feigning interest in some invisible spot on the blanket in an attempt to ignore her. There was no chance in Hell he would be accepting any more aid from this weird human. A powerful, nine-tailed kitsune at the mercy of a tiny human girl?

'Unheard of and laughable.'

In the brief moment of silence, his stomach decided to betray him and let out the most shameful growl that he was sure could be heard by the human girl in question. Soul froze, ears pinned back and expression completely mortified. ‘Fuck! No! Fuck, fuck, fu-’

“Sounds like you’re hungry,” she commented, causing him to sulk slightly. Still, he refused to look at her and remained tensed, cursing his stomach a thousand times. Hunger was such a pathetic weakness.

He started to make some noise of protest before he realized that the pigtailed girl was missing; likely finding food, no doubt. Soul growled before trying to hop out of the basket, instead throwing his body against it. The result was the laundry basket tipping over on its side, forcing him to topple forward with it. His tail obscured his vision as he growled again, painstakingly moving to where he could even make the attempt to stand up, ‘Oi! Get your ass back here! I will NOT be indebted to you! HUMAN! Don’t you DARE!’

Soul awkwardly stumbled out of the room, given the cast on his leg. His body ached and pleaded with him not to be so rash with his movements. He knew full well he should be resting, but he sure as hell was NOT about to let himself come across as some weak victim. He could take care of himself, damn it! The bandaging and doting for two days was enough.

While he had no idea of the layout of this strange place, he was easily able to find his target by following the noise. This girl didn't exactly make it difficult with all of the racket she generated - which seemed to be a talent of hers when he thought back to the incident with the bear.

The kitsune awkwardly entered the kitchen, body lowered and his large ears pricked forward as he approached. The girl in question was currently crouched in front of an open cupboard, biting the nail of her thumb in a thoughtful manner. She was examining a can clutched in her other hand, furrowing her brows in deep concentration.

Despite his impeccably stealthy entrance, the girl almost seemed like she could sense his presence. Soul froze when she looked up from the can to meet his gaze. She pursed her lips a bit before hesitantly holding up the can for him to see, "Do you eat dog food…?"

Every fiber in Soul's small body seemed to light up at the sheer audacity of her statement, wanting to yell at her for such a dumb question. The fox arched his back in an almost cat-like manner, fur ruffling as he glared at her and snarled, 'Do I look like a dog to you?!'

Despite his clearly aggressive reaction to her, she seemed mostly unaffected outside of mild irritation. Any normal person would likely be wary or even scared that the snarling fox would lunge at them. This strange girl, however, treated him more like a petulant child.

"Goodness fox, it was just a simple question," she replied with a hint of agitation before putting the dog food back into the cupboard. “Given your attitude problem, I didn’t think you would. It was just something that normal foxes tend to eat if given to them and it was on the list when I researched it.” Closing the cupboard door, she stood up and stretched her back for a moment with a grimace, “I’m a college student, so therefore quite poor. However, it would seem I need to move a little up in the price range for your more sophisticated tastes.”

“Fortunately for you,” she started after a brief pause, walking over to the stove. “I had gotten some chicken earlier to make some chicken noodle soup from scratch since I seem to be battling a small cold. I’ll give you some of the chicken and a bit of broth, if that will suit your tastes better, Your Majesty.” Ignoring the sour expression he gave her in response, the human equipped an apron and started to prepare the meal.

Soul watched her quietly as she worked, eventually deciding to lay down against one of the farther walls. When she set a pot on a nearby counter, an envelope resting along the edge drifted through the air and gently landed a short distance away from him. The fox glanced at the envelope, curiosity winning out as to what it was. With another wary glance up at her, he slowly inched his way across the floor in a rather comical fashion, given the cast on his leg.

After what seemed like an hour to him, he stretched out one paw and managed to rest it on one corner of the envelope, feeling oddly accomplished at the meager task. His long tail twitched happily, clearly easily amused at the simplest of things. Soul pulled the envelope closer to him, blood-colored irises searching out the name on it, ‘Maybe now I’ll know what the hell this crazy human’s name -- !’

‘Maka.’ The kitsune’s body went rigid as soon as he made out the girl’s name, feeling the oddest sense of foreboding. Much like her eyes, her name seemed somehow familiar.

Why did it feel like a boulder of ice was currently settling in his stomach?

While the dam didn’t break open, it was clearly overflowing and he was caught in a downward spiral. Before he could process one emotion, another broke through almost like a tidal wave - or would, but everything felt also strangely faded.

Fear… which made his recent experience with near-death pale in comparison despite the fact he knew it wasn’t but an echo of the original emotion.

A profound sadness… like something gravely important was lost. It briefly felt like his heart had been ripped out and a gaping hole was left in its place… yet he didn’t bleed. Slowly bleeding to death would have been more merciful.

And finally, a surge of anger that threatened to take over completely. The rage Soul felt almost overwhelmed the feeling of loss and his power felt on the verge of being let loose. His eyes glowed ominously, lips drawing back in a snarl as the feeling only intensified. Faint outlines of his other eight tails could be seen waving in the air behind him as his power crept up, seeming unaffected by his weakened state. At this moment, however, Soul could not care less if he transformed to his true form here in the kitchen. His mind felt blank aside from the desire to lose control - to kill.

Something needed to be destroyed…

Someone needed to be torn apart….

Somehow, the sound of the lid slamming down on the pot snapped him out of whatever confusing trance he had been in. His eyes widened in shock, trying to get his breathing under control as his body trembled in the wake of the strange event. Losing all strength, Soul collapsed onto his stomach and laid there with a distant glaze to his eyes. His brain scrambled to make sense of what it all meant, Maka’s worried voice barely registering. Even as she kneeled at his side and scooped him up, talking to him... her voice sounded so muffled.

“Tama!” another voice cried, sounding similar to the girl’s voice that was currently cradling him - yet it certainly wasn’t her. It couldn’t be, because her lips didn’t match the motions.

Just what the hell was going on?

Slowly, Soul managed to pull himself back to reality and focused his gaze on Maka’s worried expression. His hearing returned to normal to hear her muttering various things about how stupid she was to think she could take care of him properly. For whatever reason, she was in a state of blind panic over him - and he couldn’t figure out why. He’s treated her like crap this entire time, being aggressive and - as much as it pains him to admit it - ungrateful.

This crazy girl faced down a bear for him, though he was sure she would not be able to take it on should it have attacked. They would have both been dead. But this insane girl did that and he remembered being wrapped in something she had been wearing. It was warm….

And suddenly - the fact she was now battling a cold now made sense. She was sick after running out in the rain and using her main source of protection to bundle him up. Then while he was unconscious, she tended to his wounds the best that she was able. Now that he thought about it, he could faintly remember waking up briefly to see her passed out on a strange chair near his basket. It wasn’t for more than a minute or two due to being in such bad shape and feverish to boot, but she hardly looked comfortable.

She was going to share her soup with him as well, which caused another twinge of guilt. Oh, he really needed to be less of a little shit. It didn’t sound like she could really afford to have an extra mouth to feed, but here she is - offering to share.

It was at this point that Soul noticed tears starting to roll down her cheeks and he sighed, somehow feeling really uncomfortable about her crying. With a gentleness that he didn’t even realize he ever possessed, he raised a furry paw and rested it on her cheek.

‘Maka… I don’t know who you are, but the tears need to stop. For some reason, I really can’t stand to see you crying… you weird human.’

He gasped out in pain when she suddenly captured him in a borderline bone-crushing hug. The same anger from his previous interactions with her did not rise to the surface and he instead let out another sigh - possibly for air at this point. Okay, so she was worried about him.

Somehow, he could deal with that.

[vannminner]

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Where Magic Flows

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A03

FanFiction

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Part Three: Of the Water

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Nokk remained at Elsa's side until the sun set; when the stars began to twinkle amongst the night sky. Only when full darkness surrounded her, did Elsa start for camp. Watching her go, Nokk was sadly forced to return to the sea. His lost eyes pulled back to her, only briefly, and then he faded into an incoming wave.

Regretfully, Elsa had to wonder if that was the last time Nokk would truly be her ally? As with the others, his time to rebel would come. Nokk would revolt against the forest, and leave this place behind. He would be lost to these lands, searching the seas for somewhere new to live out his days.

As she walked back to her hut, Elsa considered what might be coming next. After Nokk turned, would she call back the village, or should she wait and see if someone stepped forward? If this was all a ruse to render the forest defenseless, leading an attack after Nokk would be the logical ploy.

And how would their villain enter the picture? Elsa's thoughts continued to spiral amongst her mind. What face would this enemy have, and what was their end goal? Would they lead an attack, or would they make the time to explain? There was so much Elsa hadn't considered before now. Yet, her time was up. She was at the brink of the end, and she could feel it. Her days had been filled with so much turmoil lately, she failed to realize just how many had gone by.

Feeling anxious, Elsa knew sleep would be a moot attempt at passing the time. She wasn't certain her mind was even capable of resting at this point. Still, there was nothing left to do but wait; wait for Nokk's rebelion, and wait for their villain to appear.

Upon returning to camp, defeated and stressed, Elsa dragged her feet toward her hut.

She fell back on the bed with a thump. Her eyes held wide at the ceiling, stomach unsettled and appetite, low. What she did next made no difference in the grand scheme of things. The only guarantee Elsa had, was that she'd face whatever she needed to when that time came. She could plan, and she could worry. Yet, neither would help her in the long run. Elsa knew she should gather her strength; prepare herself to do the next right thing. However, she hated not knowing. It made her impatient and uncomfortable.

Despite the thought that she would be unable to sleep, Elsa decided she must have. One moment her eyes were open, and the next; she was fighting a haze of fatigue to push herself to sit. Rising, Elsa didn't know how long she'd been unconscious. Only the desperate need for more proved that it couldn't have been for longer than an hour or two.

When she was fully alert, Elsa spun against the mattress. Her feet were planted into the floor. She dragged a cold hand over her face and stretched into her arms. She was awake now, but the question was why. For as tired as she suddenly felt, Elsa considered that waking could not have happened unprompted.

Her eyes raised slowly. Elsa listened to the world outside her hut. She expected wind in the least, but remembered Gale had gone away. She was on her own out here, and only Nokk remained.

That thought filled her with a tinge of fear.

The earth and its waterways were silent. Everything around her was incredibly still. There was no sign of threat, nor spiritual disturbance, just as it had been before she fell asleep.

Elsa was alone.

Or was she?

A fire popped and crackled beyond the walls of her tent. At the sound, Elsa's eyes drove wide, and she leapt up quickly from her bed. She hurried for the exit, feet unsteady over the ground.

Elsa threw back the tarp and ran out into the dark night.

Relief coursed through her instantly, but then she was met with anger; pure unbridled rage. It barreled deep in her chest as it rose to the surface.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

The words burst from her throat. She stomped across the clearing. Sitting at the fire pit, with her face awash in an orange glow, was Honeymaren. She didn't look up as Elsa approached. She knew it would not take long for Elsa to sense her arrival, and so she expected anger; even as quickly as it came.

"Have you eaten anything?" Honeymaren asked her calmly.

Elsa blinked. Her fists drew tight. "What? Have you lost your mind? What are you doing here?"

Drawing in a sharp breath, Honeymaren released the contents of her canvas sack into the pot above the fire. "I'm assuming you haven't... Afterall, you are terrible at taking care of yourself unless forced to."

Infuriated by her nonchalant demeanor, Elsa placed herself between Honeymaren and the flames. Her hands were wide on her hips, but Honeymaren looked right through her.

Elsa snatched the spoon from her hand. "I'll ask you again, what the hell are you doing here?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Her eyes pulled up to Elsa's. "I'm making lentils."

Elsa pinched the bridge of her nose. Her arms folded over her chest. "You know what I mean! What are you doing here instead of at the North Mountain?"

Standing, Honeymaren stole back her spoon. Her expression layered between spirited and mad. "Did you really expect me to go there without you? I never even made it to the trails before I circled back this way."

Groaning, Elsa fell to the log where Honeymaren had sat. "Mare… No! This is not what I needed from you! Do you not understand what's coming?"

"It's because of what's coming that I decided to come back."

"No! That is foolish. Don't you get it? What if I can't protect you, Honeymaren? What if Nokk floods the village? What if he throws waves that take down the trees? I can't defend Northuldra like I would without you here! What were you even thinking?" Elsa's breathing came in short gasps. Her hands tugged through her hair, threatening to snap each strand from its root.

"Hey, woah! Relax, would you? I can swim. I'm a fighter, you know!" She sat beside Elsa with a hand to her knee.

Too tired to remove it, Elsa glared instead. "This isn't about knowing how to swim, Honeymaren! This is about having no where to swim to, and having no way of protecting yourself against the Nokk!"

Her hand defiantly pulled away, and Honeymaren leaned forward to stir the pot. "Well, I'm here now, and by my own rights, so you might as well get over it. Besides, I am not looking for you to save me from drowning. I am here trying to protect you, in case anything goes wrong!"

"How?" Elsa fought back. "How do you expect to do that? You don't have powers! You are defenseless against the spirits. Not even twenty-four hours ago you were more frightened than I had ever seen you before, and all because you nearly drowned in the river! Do you not understand that is an actual reality for you if you stay?"

If the question scared Honeymaren, she didn't show it. Her expression held stern and her gaze on Elsa never faltered.

"I don't need powers to protect you. Don't you understand that?" Her brow arched coyly as she sat back on her hands. "The way that I feel about you, the lengths I would go to keep you safe; that makes me more powerful than your magic could ever be."

Sighing, Elsa shook her head. "I wish that were true. I do, but I'm afraid that caring for me is not going to help you here!"

Finally drawing her eyes back to the flames, Honeymaren pursed her lips. "It doesn't matter. I'm here now. You'd save yourself a world of energy if you'd just shut up about it, okay?"

Honeymaren never failed to surprise Elsa with her actions, and with her words. Unlike those she was raised beside in Arendelle, Honeymaren wasn't afraid of her. She took little care in how she spoke to Elsa, never worrying she might push her into reacting dangerously. She trusted her, and though that sentiment was sweet; Elsa wished that it could be enough to calm her in that moment.

But it wasn't. Elsa was too upset to feel the warmth of Honeymaren's trust, and she was too angry that she might be forced to see their friendship come to an end; if only things didn't pan out well for them, that was.

"So, lentils?" Honeymaren didn't wait for her to respond. She handed Elsa the spoon and positioned the pot between them.

Elsa stared at her for a long moment, not moving an inch. Finally, she sighed. Elsa leaned forward over her knees and took a small bite. She returned the spoon to Honeymaren, who decidedly did the same.

"Does Yelena know you've returned to the forest?"

Honeymaren refilled the spoon and held it teasingly against Elsa's lips. "By this point... I am certain she does."

The lentils waggled before her mouth. Elsa rolled her eyes and stubbornly accepted the bite.

"You are insufferable." She told Honeymaren.

Honeymaren shrugged. "No more than you are for refusing to leave with us."

Elsa frowned, shaking her head. "You know, I will never forgive myself if something happens to you."

"Good," Honeymaren nodded. She placed the pot at her feet and touched a finger to Elsa's chin. "-now you can fully understand why I had to come back here, then."

A slow smile worked its way across Elsa's cheeks. She didn't pull away from her touch. Elsa's eyes began to brighten and she simply stared. The way Honeymaren was looking at her caused Elsa's heart to flutter.

Her lips parted to respond as a powerful crack came barreling out from the forest.

Bright flashes, like lightning, spiralled around them. Thunder clapped loudly as smoke traveled in; billowing thick and dark amongst the evening air. Honeymaren and Elsa were overtaken by the haze. In unison, they leapt to their feet- Elsa's palms awashed in magic, and Honeymaren with her staff extended in her reach.

The smoke continued to grow, stealing their sight.

"How sweet this is…"

A low voice sang into the clearing. Elsa's head whipped over her shoulder, trying to decipher from where it had come.

"This reunion has been a long time coming." The mysterious words continued. "How lovely it is to be seeing you again, Elsa of Ahtohallan."

-

At the end of her first full day without Kristoff at her side, Anna laid awake in bed. With the window open, she listened to the waves lap against the shore. Crickets hummed songs at the base of the mountains, and the lone grey owl sat perched above the fjord.

Anna rotated against the sheets, relaxing in the sounds that were carried in by the night air. She considered how peaceful this evening would be if she were her child and snuggled up in bed; calm, without a care in the world.

At the thought, Anna placed a tentative hand over her abdomen. She hadn't the luxury of time to think about the life growing inside of her.

The funny thing was, a short day ago, Anna was completely perplexed by what was happening to her. Whether stress or sickness, she didn't have a clue.

Now, however, since Doctor Laugen explained to her that she might be with child; Anna knew it to be true. It was as if she could feel that life, heart beating, and sharing space within her. With eyes closed, she could make out the future beginning beneath her navel.

It was strange to have this happening to her now. Yet, what was stranger was feeling the state of bliss that had come with it; all while being overrun with concerns. For Arendelle, for her sister, and for Kristoff, too- the list went on and on. Wanting to relish in the excitement of parenthood had fueled Anna's motivation to solve the mystery. She would find out who poisoned her people, and she would punish them without caring why they had done it. Anna had never been so determined to make things right. The sheer weight of that desire had her losing sleep and making plans for her morning.

With Kai's assistance, Anna planned to face the royal guard. She would send scouts across the North Sea, and run inspections with any ship who sailed through, or near, Arendelle's waters.

Anna no longer felt fear in facing their culprit. No, now she was driven by the sheer force of rage; to hunt down whoever had taken the lives of the children, and she vowed to make them pay.

-

As the smoke cleared from view, and the night sky surrounded the camp in darkness, Elsa spun on her feet.

Honeymaren shuffled beside her. Her brown eyes pulled in a slow circle, and her hand tightened on her staff.

Out from the shadows, a figure stepped forward. Elsa adjusted her hands, and a second figure appeared. At the same time, Honeymaren's back tucked into hers. Across from Elsa, Honeymaren faced her own dilema. One figure appeared, and then another. She fought to turn her staff wide, bordering herself between the figures and her dearest friend.

They were surrounded by long dark cloaks. Their faces shielded under thick fabric, and while Honeymaren could not see through them; she had the fearful thought that they could easily see her.

Once their numbers reached eleven, the cloaks ceased to appear. They held their stance, creating a circle around both women. They didn't move, and they barely appeared to breathe.

When a final cloak stepped from the darkness, air caught painfully in Elsa's throat. The blood red silk and black mask caused Elsa's back to stiffen. Honeymaren felt the tension vibrate through her own spine. She turned beside Elsa, startled to find the red cloak moving toward her.

White gloves raised to them in warning. The fabric began to glow. Power surged beneath them, not at all dissimilar to Elsa's own.

Thinking quickly, Elsa's magic burst to life within her palms. The cloaks didn't move, nor did they appear to respond in any way. The red cloak, however, continued to come closer. Their fingers waggled, and their power only grew. Hands directed at Honeymaren, then. The red cloak turned from Elsa entirely as they came to face their target.

Drawing inside herself, Elsa conjured up a blast of Nordic winds. She aimed, firing at the red cloak. Her power barreled through the distance, nearing their oddly calm foe.

But then, something unexpected happened. Elsa magic slowed. Just before impact, her powers suspended mid air, but only briefly. The red cloak braced their hands together and forced Elsa's magic away from their chest.

The blast was sent reeling back at where it derived.

Panicked, Elsa winced. Her eyes drew closed. She heard the impact of her powers connect with something solid. Yet, that something solid was not her as it was intended. A different weight, a softer weight, had fallen against her.

Elsa's eyes reopened wide. She had Honeymaren holding herself up by Elsa's shoulder. Her other hand wrapped alarmingly over her own chest. Right before Elsa's magic was cast back at her, Honeymaren had slid in between them. She'd taken the full force of Elsa's ice powers… straight into the heart.

-

Cheers,

-M.

[jamaisstae]

part two: japchae

runaway train

[ nonidol!yoongi x female!reader ]

  ┕ a story in which you are a college student running from home in search of a new adventure and min yoongi is a broke underground rapper who has no place to go.

          The continuous low rumble the train made as it rode over the tracks easily put you to sleep, but unfortunately, you found it hard to stay asleep. You were not used to sleeping in such a tiny bed, so you woke up multiple times with half your body hanging off the mattress; the tiniest of bumps nearly made you fall onto the floor. Though despite these hardships, you didn’t have much to complain about. You enjoyed the privacy of your little compartment. Once the curtain was drawn over the entryway, it was as if you were in your own little world, and you enjoyed that after a day of seeing the faces of nothing but strangers. The mattress wasn’t the comfiest thing you ever slept on, although that oddly added to the, dare you say, hominess that the compartment made you feel. Over the rattling of the train, you could just barely hear the snores of the other passengers in your train car… along with continuous movement inside the compartment across from you. 

          After nearly an hour of listening to the shuffling of feet from across the aisle, you decided to investigate what was going on. Groaning slightly as you sat up in your bed, you slowly stood to your feet. You had been nice and warm beneath the sheet on your bed, and the sudden chill that crept into your compartment past the glass in your window made you shiver. You pulled back your privacy curtain slightly to steal a quick peek at the commotion, surprised to find the warm yellow glow of a light on in the compartment across from you. Every other light in the train car was out, excluding the ones that lit the aisle between the compartments (although even those were dimmed significantly.) A shadow paced back and forth in front of you, cast onto the yellow glow on the floor from the tiny gap between the curtain and the floor. You could barely make out low mumbling, and you immediately know that it was coming from the boy whom you attempted a conversation with earlier: Yoongi. You took a step forward, ready to ask him what he was doing pacing back and forth in the middle of the night, but then you suddenly remembered the rather cold attitude he showed you earlier. You did not want to witness a repeat of that event, so you decided against intruding on his pacing.

          Instead, you simply pulled your curtain shut once more, turning around and returning to your warm bed. Pulling the blankets up and over your shoulders, you did your best to block out the shuffling of feet, but you found it hard to ignore the soft sounds. You ended up pulling the sheets all the way up over your head, blocking out the noise as best as you could to try and get a little sleep.

          The train stopped at a station in Busan early the next morning. One family in your train car hopped off, and another woman took their place. In her arms, she carried a young child, probably no more than three years old. You couldn’t help but wonder what their story was. Were they simply going on vacation? Or was the train their only form of transportation from one place to another? You wished you were able to speak with the woman, for you were longing for some type of human interaction, but she disappeared into her compartment far too quickly, pulling the curtain closed.

          It was barely six in the morning, and normally you would sleep for another two hours, but you knew that you wouldn’t be able to sleep any more if you tried. So you made your bed as nicely as you could for the sake of attempting to keep your compartment clean and pulled back your privacy curtain for the day. You then grabbed your duffel back from the overhead compartment, reaching into the side zipper and pulling out your cell phone. You were too scared to check your phone all day, but you knew that you couldn’t keep hiding from your family forever. Tentatively you turned the phone on, allowing the lock screen to be displayed brightly. You were taken aback by the number of notifications that appeared on the screen: dozens of missed calls from your parents, countless texts from your siblings. For a moment, you felt guilty; you hadn’t even thought of how scared your family would be to wake up to find you missing. 

          You decided to check your text messages first, clicking on your brother’s name to display the messages that he had sent you.

“Y/N where are you???”

“Mom and dad are freaking out.”

“Why won’t you pick up the phone?”

“Dammit Y/N… please be okay.”

“Knowing you, you just went on some spontaneous adventure. I hope I’m right. Please text me to let me know that you are alright.”

           You bit the inside of your cheek harshly to hold back the rush of emotion that rose in your throat. You quickly typed out a quick reply, a simple message that stated that you were okay, and sent it. Then, you moved on to the messages that your sister had sent you.

“Y/N we thought you left for your classes early… we didn’t realize something was wrong until dinner when you weren’t home…”

“Are you okay?”

“I hope you are.”

          Your mom left you a voicemail; you realized that it was nearly three minutes long. You wondered if you even wanted to hear it. You knew your mother was worried sick about you, for she loved you dearly, but you knew that half of the voicemail would be her scolding you for being so irresponsible and disrespectful for taking your dad’s money. You didn’t want to hear that, at least not now. Turning your phone off completely, you tossed it onto the bed and took a seat in the chair closest to the window. 

          You would talk to your family eventually, but right now, you needed to worry about yourself.

          You soon realized how hungry you were when your stomach rumbled loudly. Reaching into your backpack, you pulled out a shiny red apple that you had swiped from your kitchen. Wasting no time you bit into the juicy flesh, savoring the sweet taste with your eyes shut tight. The train had a couple food cars available for its passengers, but you decided that it was better to save your money and eat the food you brought from home while you still could… but you sure were craving some kimchi.

          You turned your head as movement beside you caught your eye. You noticed for the first time that Yoongi had gotten up, pulling back his curtain and moving briskly to the bathroom located on your train car. You stared after him in silence, chewing slowly, as you wondered if he had eaten. You hadn’t seen him eat anything, and since the dining car closed at eight pm, you knew he wouldn’t have been able to eat when you were asleep. You knew he must have been hungry, so when he returned from his trip to the bathroom, you pulled out another apple from your bag. Leaning over in your seat slightly, you held the fruit out to him. “Are you hungry?” He stared at you in bewilderment for a moment, and you hesitantly added: “I haven’t seen you eat anything, so I figured you must be hungry.”

          “I don’t need your charity, and I don’t need someone to look after me.” His words took you by utter surprise; his harsh tone sliced through your chest like a blade, releasing unwanted and unpleasant emotions. So much for a friendly gesture.

          Tears brimming the corners of your eyes, you stuffed the apple back into the bag. Hurt quickly turned to anger as you realized the amount of disrespect he just showed you, turning back to glare at him harshly. “I was offering you some of my food as a kind gesture, and you want to disrespect me like that? You are a very rude person and you should be ashamed of yourself.”

          You ignored the look of shock that spread across his features, standing up and pulling your curtain shut angrily. You were beyond mad, you were irate. Never had someone been so rude to you for offering to help them. Groaning in frustration, you plopped down in your seat once more. You turned your attention over to the snow-covered landscape moving by outside, hoping that the gentle snowfall would ease your mind a bit. 

          You eventually cooled down. You still thought that Yoongi had been unnecessarily rude, but you hadn’t really thought of it from his point of view. It wasn’t easy for someone to accept the help of a stranger, for it would make them seem weak and unable to take care of themselves. You couldn’t exactly blame him for getting defensive of his pride, and you wondered for a moment if you should apologize. You stood up from your seat and pulled your curtain back, ready to admit your mistake to the man in the compartment across from yours, but just as you did so, you saw him disappear into the bathroom. Acting quickly, you reached into your backpack and pulled out the notepad that you always carried with you. Quickly scribbling down “sorry” on to a blank page before tearing it out, you grabbed the apple that you had offered to Yoongi earlier. Moving across the aisle, you set both the fruit and the note down in his empty seat, disappearing back into your own compartment just as the door to the bathroom opened once more. You sat back in your seat, looking out the window as if you hadn’t moved since he left; though out of the corner of your eye, you watched as he noticed the objects in his seat.

          You could barely see him roll his eyes, reaching down and picking up the small piece of paper that you scribbled your apology on. You heard him huff as he read it before sticking it into his pocket. He then reached down and grabbed the apple off of the seat, looking down at it in silence. You half expected him to just set it aside and act as if it didn’t exist, or perhaps even throw it at your head, but he did neither of those things. Instead, he simply held on to the fruit and sat back down in his seat.

          A moment later, the sound of crunching met your ears, and you turned to see that he had taken a bite out of the apple.

          You smiled.

          The train rolled to a stop about an hour later, now at a small station just outside of Seoul. You hated being so close to the city that you were trying so hard to get away from, but you knew that you couldn’t avoid it for very long; Korea is a fairly small country, and there were only so many places the train could bring you. You decided to get off the train at this stop, for you hadn’t properly stretched your legs since the day before, and you longed for some fresh air. 

          As you hopped off the train, you found yourself wandering. You didn’t know where to go nor what to do. Having become so used to the climate-controlled train car, the below-freezing temperature of the outside world pierced right through your heavy clothing. This made it impossible for you to stop moving, for at least the friction caused by your pacing warmed you up even the slightest bit. You had to admit though, you weren’t just pacing aimlessly. You were searching for something… someone… Yoongi. Despite the fact that he had eaten the apple you had placed in his seat, you still found yourself worrying over his hunger situation. Surely a single apple wasn’t enough to satisfy his hunger if he really hadn’t eaten since he got on the train. You just wanted to see if he was getting food, and then you would feel much better. It took you several minutes of searching through the crowded train station to finally catch a glimpse of him. He was standing beneath an overhang in a secluded part of the station; his back was to you, hunched over against the freezing wind, but you could tell that he was holding a cell phone to his ear.

          You hated being nosey; You were always taught against it growing up… but you just couldn’t walk away. You found yourself staring at the man, hoping that he wouldn’t turn around to find you creepily staring at him while he was in the middle of a phone conversation. Suddenly, startling you and causing to take a step back in surprise, he whipped around and tore the phone away from his ear. You thought that he had noticed you spying on him, but the amount of pure rage that shone in his eyes could not have been caused by your harmless curiosity. You watched in silence as he slammed his cellphone to the ground, taking his foot and stomping down on it as hard as he possibly could. Your eyes were wide as he looked up, his gaze catching yours for a split second before he left his shattered cell phone on the concrete. You could see the tension in his clenched jaw, the fury in his dark eyes as he passed you. You turned around to see him hop back on to the train, wondering what the hell could have happened during that phone call to make him so irate.

          And, much to your frustration, you realized that you hadn’t seen him eat.

          Ten minutes later, you boarded the train once more, carrying a styrofoam container of steaming japchae in your hands. Your heart hammered against your ribcage nervously, your throat dry as you wondered if what you were about to do was a good idea. As you entered your train car, your eyes immediately drifted to Yoongi’s compartment. He sat in his seat stiffly, and you were thankful to see that the anger was now nonexistent on his features. Now, he simply stared out the window blankly, a frown tugging down at his lips and a faraway look in his eyes.

          Hesitantly, you knocked on one of the wooden panels of the entryway, catching his attention. He turned to look at you, gaze still blank as if he hardly even knew you were there. You nervously cleared your throat, holding the hot container of japchae towards him. “Take it,” you insisted, though your voice was small and shaky in fear of him snapping at you with the same anger that you had seen just ten minutes prior. “I don’t care if it hurts your pride. I’ve only seen you eat that damn apple this entire time, and I know you must be starving. So, please... Just take it and eat it.”

          Much to your dismay, Yoongi nodded slowly and held his hands out to you. You handed the container to him and smiled weakly. Without another word, you turned around to return to your own compartment. As you did so, you heard him call after you, grabbing your attention. You looked over your shoulder, surprised to find him slightly smiling. “Thank you.”

          His gratitude was enough to satisfy you, filling you with joy as he took a bite of the steaming food.

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[dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade]

Blanket

Request: Can I have an imagine with Josh where maybe the reader has been stressed trying to balance work and school and maybe hasn’t been taking care of herself very well? Maybe taking snacks here and there instead of eating full means, having anxiety, and getting a short temper from stress and sleep loss? @livingdeadharley, this one goes out to you! Hope you like it, honey! Word count: 1,8K+ Warnings: none, just some fluff To be added to the (permanent) taglist, DM me or send an ask. Requests are open. Fanfiction masterpost

Josh Kiszka x (female) Reader

You just came back to your apartment that you shared with your boyfriend of almost two years, Josh. You had had a long shift at work that drained all of your remaining power from the morning classes at university.

You put your backpack on the chair in the kitchen and looked for the light switch.

“Josh?” you called out to check if your boyfriend was in your room watching movies or if he went out.

“Yeah babe?” you heard his muffled voice back. His words were followed by a loud thud coming from your room and you heard Josh’s steps against the wooden floor. In no time he turned on the light in the hallway, making you squint your eyes at the sudden burst of light.

Once your pupils adjusted, you looked at Josh and smiled faintly. He was staying only in his shorts and socks, with a blanket over his shoulders. That man was acting so childish from time to time, even though he was two older than you, but you loved him. You loved his spirit and his gentle soul and the way he made you feel.

“What?” he asked smiling, while approaching you. “Don’t you like my new look?” he asked and made a twirl in front of you.

“I love it, you know that,” you answered. Even your voice was faint from the exhaustion. Trying to balance school and work seemed impossible and you were watching your friends who seemed to have it all under control and perfectly planned it out and the anxiety in you just grew at the thought that you were the only one who hasn’t discovered the secret behind an easy and successful lifestyle.

“Then, what’s wrong?” he asked and pouted his bottom lip.

You bit your own lip softly, and felt the dryness of them as you remembered you have barely drank any water that day. “Nothing, I am just tired.”

You passed by Josh and reached up in the cupboard for a granola bar and tore open the plastic covering it. You sat down on a chair as you took a bite out of it.

You have been so moody lately due to the increasing stress in this period of time and lack of sleep to study for your exams. You barely ate. You were basically living off of snacks (mostly granola bars and Snickers) and caffeine. And not to talk about your temper; you were almost always either angry at school, either at your boss.

“Baby, come on, why won’t you have a meal? Even a fast food would be good, I bet life feels so tasteless with all those granolas,” Josh spoke, approaching you and trying to lighten up your mood.

“Josh, please,” you look at him with tired eyes. You felt yourself about to throw another tantrum in front of him. It would’ve been the third one in the last few days. You were feeling sorry for Josh that he had no other choice but live with it.

“Y/N, please, I can’t stand watching you do this to yourself,” Josh spoke to you.

“Listen, I don’t have the time to have a full meal, alright? And if I had the time, I wouldn’t have the energy to do it!” you raised your voice and put the half-eaten bar back into its plastic bag and pushed it on the table. “Why won’t you go have a meal by yourself?”

Josh’s eyes gleamed in the faint light in the room. You were sorry for snapping at him. He was just trying to be there for you.

“Babe, come on,” he spoke as he softly grabbed your hand in his. You could feel the warmth of his body through his hand and you could both feel and see the love in his heart for you in his eyes and actions. “How about having a shower and watch a movie together? I think that would help. And you can call in sick for tomorrow at work, it’s Saturday after all.”

You nodded silently as you proceeded to have a long shower that you hoped that would help you release the stress. Right after you dried off and changed in your pajamas, you walked in the bedroom you shared with Josh. He wasn’t in the middle of the bed, looking at the screen, nor at the shelf full of DVD’s of his favorite movies.

You walked in the kitchen where you last seen him and saw two empty plates set on the table and Josh sitting next to the cooker.

“Have a seat, on tonight’s menu we have scrambled eggs since they are the only thing I can cook and chocolate and strawberry pancakes, your favorites!” Josh smiled as he saw you in the door frame.

You walked slowly next to Josh and looked at him in awe. You were so grateful for having him in your life. “Josh, I am sorry for being an asshole,” you admit and look at the ground.

“It’s alright, love,” he smiled and pecked your forehead. “I know you’re just exhausted, but this is no excuse for not looking after yourself.”

Josh took the pan off the cooker and walked to the table and evenly distributed between the two plates the scrambled egg. The two of you sat down at the table and ate. Your stomach was grateful for finally receiving some real food. After the main course, the pancakes followed. Josh knew they were your secret addiction so he prepared you an extra portion.

After all the food was done with, Josh proposed that the two of you would see a movie, so you went to your room and hopped in the bed, while Josh searched for a DVD.

“Rebel without a cause?” you heard Josh’s muffled voice.

“Nah, I have seen it recently. What else?”

“Forrest Gump?”

“I love that one! Yes!”

Josh put in the DVD and hopped in the bed, next to you. He still had that little blanket on his back, covering his bare back. This little detail made you smile once again.

Josh put an arm around your shoulders and you cuddled closer to his chest. You could smell the faint scent of his usual cologne.

“Josh, I love you,” you whispered, your voice slightly muffled.

“I love you too, baby,” he whispered back, pressing his lips softly onto yours. His voice sent a pleasant shiver through you. “Are you cold?”

With a swift move, he moved the blanket off his back onto yours, with this action completely hugging you to his chest. You reached over with your arms and tried to circle his back and the two of you just ended up looking like a loose burrito.

Josh flipped you over, so now he was leaning down over you, maintaining his balance with the help of his elbow. “You are so beautiful.”

You truly were so damn lucky to have Josh. Most of the time, Josh couldn’t even express in real words the strong love that he carried in his heart for you and you only. He told you all the time how much he loved you, but he always felt that didn’t sum up all of the feelings for you, that it was just a ‘summary’ of them, that’s why he wrote short poems and songs for you all the time. In that moment he was looking at you like you were his everything, and reality is that you really were.

At this point, none of you were even paying any attention to the movie on the screen. You looked up in Josh’s eyes and kissed his lips softly, leaving out a small and happy hum in the kiss.

“Will you promise me something?” Josh whispered while letting himself get closer to your body.

“What is it?” you smiled in the dim light coming from the TV.

Run, Forrest, run! you heard from the TV. Josh snapped his head for a brief moment, then turned to you again. “That you will take care of yourself. I don’t want to see you this way, it breaks my heart,” he admitted.

“I promise I will do my best.”

Josh was content with your answer and proceeded to covering your face in small kisses as he collapsed next to you once again. Your hand traveled to his curls and started rolling strands on your fingers, unconsciously. This was your favorite thing to do when he laid next to you. His hair was so soft all the time and you loved it and you knew that he enjoyed it too.

Josh moved his head on your shoulder as he watched the screen. His hand searched for yours and found it underneath the blanket that he had given you. You could feel his warm, soft skin on yours and the warmness spread on your hand as he interlocked your fingers.

You cuddled closer to him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“Oh my God, I love how Forrest goes all the time back to Jenny!” you spoke towards the end of the movie, eyes in tears, knowing exactly what will come next.

Josh felt the way you started to get emotional, so he squeezed your hand harder and kissed your temple. “Don’t you cry, angel,” he spoke to you in a hushed voice, but your body tensed up at the last shots of the movie and let a tear run down. You always found it interesting how you could get emotional at a movie you have seen so many more times before.

Josh must have felt the tear landing on his wrist, because he looked at you as the credits started rolling on the screen. “Love, don’t.”

You pressed your lips onto his, surprised by your forwardness in doing so. “What scares me the most is that I don’t know when I will wake up and you won’t be there,” you sniffled, washed over by a wave of sadness.

“But I will be here. Forever,” Josh spoke to you, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“How can you be so sure? Forever is a long time.”

“Because we are two souls who met each other and bonded over genuine feelings of love. You can’t break that bond. It’s unique and it’s unbreakable,” he whispered in your ear.

His voice soothed you and managed to stop your silent sobs. You found yourself cuddling him once again, wrapping your arms around his body. You placed your head on his bare chest and stayed that way, in a comfortable silence, for a long time, just listening to his heartbeat, while Josh occasionally ran his palm up and down one of your arms.

“Baby, do you want to hear something?” Josh whispered in the now dark room. You just hummed in response. Josh took in a deep breath, and the next thing you’ve heard was his angelic voice singing to you a new piece, that you haven’t heard before, while caressing your cheek and smiling at you in the darkness of your room.

You’ve been waiting for your lover, But you’ll discover She’s always there.

Tags: @myownparadise96, @satans-helper, @jeordinevankiszka, @littlegeekwonder, @songbirdkisses, @freeeshavacadoo

[treefrog203]

Accidents Can Have Somewhat Happy Endings

Bakudeku Angst

Warnings: Bottling emotions, numbness, questioning self-worth, intrusive thoughts.

Word Count: 4,253 (this got longer than expected whoops)

I’m dedicating this to @todorokitops because they helped me when I was struggling a bit and honestly they’re such a nice person? Like shoot me if I’m wrong but they deserve so much more than a fic dedicated to them. Anyways, please enjoy, it’s my first real fic.  

Also, in Izuku POV I typically referred to Bakuboi as “Kacchan”. In Katsuki POV Izuku is “Izuku” or any other nickname I could think of.

As of late, things had been shit to put it kindly.

 And if this was Midoriya Izuku being “kind” then you can already assume that things weren’t just shit.

He wanted one break from life, one, but what does it throw back at him for this simple request?

 Problems, so many goddamn problems.

 I did what I thought was going to be best for the operation, I was trying to capture the villain, I thought the building was still stable, I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt those people, let alone kill anyone. 

He swallowed down a hard lump of guilt down his throat to his chest, slowly chewing away at his lungs, making it insufferable to breath. 

That’s right, twelve people died because I failed to make sure the building was secure. Not that I could have done much, it being the only place to push off of other than the air around me. As a result of this failure, my hero’s license was suspended. At least until the media died down and my superiors knew what to do with me.

What were his superiors going to do with him? 

Izuku’s brain suddenly went from fifth gear to sixth.

What if they took away my hero’s license? Not that it mattered too much if he couldn’t even protect people. What if I’m not allowed to work anymore? What if they sentence me to prison? What if they sentence me to death? No- that would be too far, or would it? I took twelve people’s innocent lives, what would be mine? 

Ration told him that they probably weren’t even allowed to do that to the worst of villains, but another, deeper part, told him he’d deserve it, and that everyone would be happier if that happened. 

“No.” Izuku shook his head, attempting to shake the thought out of his brain.  

“No. . ?” asked Shouto who had previously been explaining to the green haired man sitting at the table what the possible outcomes were for his offense, he had just happened to ask Izuku if he’d known what he was doing during the tragedy. Easily, he became flustered, having not heard the question and started to assume the worst before apologizing to the man standing at the other end of the room.

“I was caught in thought,” Izuku started.

Shouto interjected,  “It’s fine Deku, I understand. Please be careful, thinking too much might cause you to act out in a way that you might regret. You can always come to me if you’d like to talk about it.” 

As much as Izuku appreciated the sentiment, something else stuck out the most from his friends sentence, “Don’t call me that right now.” 

His throat was dry and hurt, he needed water.

“Call you what?” Todoroki tilted his head, causing white to mix with the red over his part. 

“My hero name, seeing as how of this moment, I’m not one.  I don’t . . . deserve it.” he mumbled the last part, but Shouto heard. 

You never did.

Now is not the time, go away. 

He hadn’t realized, but he shook his head again.

“Well that was all I have to discuss with you for now,” Shouto started, “but seriously, if you need to talk, let me know.” Izuku simply nodded before exiting the room.

~~~~~~~~~

Izuku had a dark cloud hanging over his head on his way to the cafeteria. One so dense, it could probably hold its own in a fight against Tokoyami’s Dark Shadow. He was spaced out on his hands, pulling at the skin around his nail beds-a habit he needed to quit, but his mental state being in such a fog he hadn’t even realized he’d been doing it. Blood slowly seeped from his left thumb as a result. 

Obviously not watching where he was going, he bumped into a tall frame, apologizing profusely before looking up to see who it was. 

“A-ah, sorry, Kacchan,” his eyes suddenly glued to his own shoes, his brain scrutinizing every scuff and imperfection on them that were a result of wear.

 “It’s okay, just keep an eye up while you walk.” he replied, before ruffling the green hair in front of him. Izuku froze before peeking up, he’d already figured Kacchan was showing him a slight kindness due to his fuckup, but for him to ruffle his hair?

It both scared and delighted Izuku.

Kacchan gave half a chuckle and a quiet “See ya later nerd.” before continuing his way down the hall. 

When Izuku got down to the cafeteria, he got two waters before sitting down at a table. He wasn’t exactly thrilled to have his name be the one floating on the whispers that started up when he entered the room. Only when he went to open his first water did he realize just how bad his cuticle was bleeding. He sighed, standing up and collecting his waters,  before making his way down to the small infirmary that’s sole purpose was for small “ouchies”. Just the occasional bumps, bruises, and scratches.

 When he got there he gathered up a bandaid, petroleum jelly, and a q-tip before setting them out on the counter, quickly washing and drying his hands before returning to the supplies. He started by opening the jelly, before opening the bandaid to where the pad was revealed, he then took a q-tip and scooped up a small amount of the jelly. Spreading a thin layer of it over the pad for two reasons-the first being if it shifted on his finger at all, doing this prevented the pad from catching on the uplifted skin, because that hurt. The second being that it helped moisturize the nail bed allowing it to heal better. After that, he finished opening the bandaid and applied it to his thumb, closing up the jelly and throwing away the q-tip and bandaid wrapper before putting it away.

 He pulled out his phone to check the time, it was only one o’clock. He didn’t have anything else to do today did he? He checked his email, after filtering through what was work related and what was press trying to get interviews (the ratio of press to work was around 143:4). He read those four emails, one being from the day before. When he got to the most recent one, it was saying that after he finished his briefing with Shouto, he was allowed to return home. So he clocked out, and went home. 

~~~~~~~~

When he got home, he went to his room, acknowledging the black cat that was sitting on the counter with a pat on its head. He dropped his backpack to the floor, immediately sprawling out on the queen mattress.  

After about three minutes of laying there he felt four paws making their way up the back of his leg, before going to his lower back and curling up, purring contentedly. Not long after, he fell asleep.

~~~~~~

When he woke up, it was because a mass of black fur had launched itself from the window sill above his bed directly onto his stomach, which the tiny beast had deemed it’s landing pad.

“Oof!” was the only sound he could give in response. 

Getting up, he headed over to Shadow’s bowls. (Yes, he named the cat Shadow in honor of Tokoyami.) He picked up the food dish, opening that bag of cat food and scooping some out, before replacing the dish in its previous spot. Shadow trotted up happily and little crunches could be heard as a result of kibble against teeth. As if on cue, there was a rumble from his stomach. 

Izuku went to his fridge, not really thinking much about it as he opened it. He was greeted by an empty fridge and its stale air.

“Shit,” he sighed. He was supposed to get groceries after work today. Glancing at the clock, it was only seven. The grocery store should still be open right?  

On his way out the door, he threw on a hoodie and grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet before running a hand through his curls to straighten them out. 

For most of the bus ride he spaced out, a very non-Izuku thing to do, in fact, he almost missed his stop because of it. 

Entering the building he grabbed a small hand-basket to carry around with him as he picked out his items. As soon as he got on the bus, he’d lost any appetite he might have had previously. He knew if he didn’t go grocery shopping now, he’d be living on takeout for a week and he wasn’t sure if his budget was going to be able to handle that.

 At the moment he had this weird numb feeling buzzing about him, it was suffocating. So suffocating he hadn’t heard the angry pomeranian of a man growling at him.

Katsuki POV

“Oi, nerd.” Katsuki started, placing a hand on the shorter one’s shoulder to turn his body towards him.

When he looked into Izuku’s eyes, he immediately knew something was wrong. Instead of his usual bright veridian eyes, they’d turned to a dull pine, glazed over as well. He’d looked into those stupid eyes enough to see a difference. 

Not knowing what had come over him, Katsuki was pushing down the violent urge to punch something, this urge was different from his natural fighting instinct. He was genuinely angry, blood rolling to a boil. 

He was taken aback by the soft, “Oh… hi Kacchan.”

He looked towards Izuku, his eyes less dull now but still slightly glazed, at least he looked a bit more alert.

“What are you doing?” Katsuki knew he was asking a dumb question because the answer was obvious, but he needed to get a conversation going. 

“Grocery shopping.” Izuku mumbled, turning his attention to the bag of rice he’d been holding. 

“Well duh, have you eaten?” Katsuki snapped. 

“No.” 

He took a glance at his basket, noticing it was mostly simple things like ramen, rice, and other simple cheap foods. Stuff you’d expect a college student to live on, not a pro hero.

“You’re coming to my place for dinner.” Katsuki stated, matter of factly, It’d be easy to imagine him placing a hand on his hip as he said it.

“I am?” Izuku looked up confused. 

Katsuki nodded, releasing his hand that he’d previously set on Broccoli’s shoulder, not realizing he’d left it there. 

“Follow me.” he started heading down the aisle to head towards the deli section. 

Half an hour later they were finally finished, somewhere in there Izuku snapped out of his trance, much to Katsuki’s relief. 

Izuku POV

They stood on the bus together, the seats being taken because people were starting to head out to bars and clubs. The bus swayed and the most cliche thing happened, Izuku started to fall forward, only to be caught by a grumbling Kacchan, telling him to be more careful. 

Izuku really hoped the small blush that flitted over his cheeks went unnoticed by Kacchan.

Katsuki POV

Katsuki wasn’t sure if he’d seen right, but he thought he’d seen Izuku’s cheeks turn pink, whether they did or not, he was content with the thought the could of. 

~~~~~~

Izuku POV

Izuku sat patiently on the couch, watching as Kacchan prepped his kitchen.

“May I help?” he asked because it wasn’t the first time he’d been over for a meal. Depending on his mood, Kacchan would or wouldn’t allow Izuku to help him. 

Sometimes saying something along the lines of, “Fine! But so help me god, if you burn something in my kitchen there’ll be hell to pay!”

Other times, “No! It’s my kitchen and you’re my guest! Sit your ass down and wait.” 

He wondered what it would be today.

“Get your ass over here.”

Oh, so he got to help today. That was good, it had been awhile. 

He walked up, carefully watching where Kacchan moved to so he could move out of the way when necessary. It was a fairly small kitchen. 

“Cook the rice.” the blonde said out of nowhere. 

Izuku washed his hands quickly, then filled up a bowl with water and measured out three cups of rice into it. He drained it before putting more in and setting a timer to let it soak for fifteen minutes. 

“Anything else I can help with?”

“Hmm, two eggs, six tablespoons of melted butter, mix it with a fork. Grab a plate and the breading from the bag. Start working on the chicken.” Kacchan mumbled the instructions. 

He moved to follow his demands, scrambling the egg and melted butter together in a bowl, spreading out the bread crumbs on a plate.  He took the raw chicken and submerged it in the egg/butter mix before rolling through the breading. He set the finished one on a plate so they could later pan fry it in Sesame oil. 

When he was pouring out more bread crumbs onto the plate he noticed the colors on the packaging were the same as All Might’s. 

How long had it been? At least a good five years or so since his passing.

"All Might.  Was there ever a time you couldn't save someone?"  A younger version of himself asked.

"Sure. Plenty of times. Right now, somewhere out in the world, someone could be hurting or dying. It sucks, but I'm only human. I can't save people who are out of my reach... That's why I stand tall and smile. I'm the Symbol of Justice. The citizens, heroes, villains, I need to light the way for all of them." the now late hero had responded.

(This is an actual quote from a translation of the manga, it could be a little off but it still conveys the same message.)

I’m so sorry All Might. 

Are you?

Izuku’s throat seized, making it difficult for him to breathe.

I know I’m only human, but I was right there, I caused it. I’m the one who made these people breathe their last breath. What about their families, All Might? Right now, there are people in mourning because of me, when I’m supposed to bring smiles to their faces, not tears, All Might! 

But that’s exactly what you did, isn’t it? How exactly are you “human” as you claim, when you’ve murdered people?

BEEP BEEP BEEP 

Izuku didn’t know his body was capable of jerking this hard. He jumped when the timer went off, forgetting he had even set it. 

He swirls the rice around the bowl before rinsing it and measuring out 5 cups of water and transferring it all to Kacchan’s rice cooker and pressing the start button, then did three more chicken breasts. 

Izuku took the small liberty of glancing at the usually explosive man that was leaning over the pot of simmering curry roux, hyper focused on not adding too much water to it, otherwise he’d have to put more roux powder in the pot to thicken the consistency again. It was a tedious process. 

Izuku noticed the washed vegetables on the counter sitting uncut. 

“I’ll take over this, go cut the veggies and steam them so they soften.”

Kacchan handed the spoon over to the broccoli headed man next to him. Making serious eye contact before turning to the vegetables. 

Katsuki POV

His eyes were starting to glaze over and turn back to the dull pine color again. 

How could he keep them from doing that? It was making him… feel things, and he really didn’t like that. 

Izuku POV

Slowly but surely, the same numb feeling from earlier was creeping up on him.  He didn’t know how to stop it, so he mostly focused on the roux, or at least tried too.

He kept spacing out, occasionally he’d dig the heel of his foot into the top of the other, forcing him to pay attention, that or he’d pinch himself. 

Eventually Kacchan came up behind him with the vegetables in one hand a spoon in the other. An arm on either side of Izuku he scooped carrots and potatoes into the roux. Momentarily ensnaring the smaller of the two between his arms.

“Start frying the chicken?” Izuku mumbled, quietly suggesting it to Kacchan. 

Katsuki POV

He pulled a pan out and poured the oil into it to allow it to start heating up as he brought the chicken breasts over towards the stove. Standing next to Izuku as he waited a little longer till he heard the small sizzle and lowered the heat. 

Using tongs, he lowered two into the oil that popped in response. He took tinfoil and covered the pan.  

Little did he know, Izuku was standing in a battle against himself.

Izuku POV

I just want to lie down and cry. I don’t deserve my hero license, why did they only suspend it? Why did they ever bother with me anyways? Why did All Might choose me? Even now, Mirio is the better choice of the two to inherit One for All.  I should have just remained a quirkless, worthless person.  

Without his knowledge, a tear rolled down his cheek. Opening the dam a bit to where they flowed slowly down his face. 

He faced away from Kacchan as he pulled the curry off the heat and set it down while he went to the cabinet. Pulling out two bowls, two cups, and then grabbing two spoons from a drawer. Setting them out for when the chicken was done, which didn’t take long. 

They soon started setting up their bowls, spooning rice and curry into their own bowls before cutting up their cutlets to place on top. 

Katsuki POV

He took out multiple spoonfuls of curry powder, placing each one on the roux so he could mix it into the curry and rice when he sat down. 

“Hey, midget, you wan-” he cut himself off after looking at the person beside him.

Taking him in, he noticed his eyes were red and puffy, his face wet, and of course, almost as if to add to the effect-he sniffled. 

Something within Katsuki froze. He could deal with crying victims anyday, but a crying nerd? How does he fix this? Pull out the special All Might pajamas from his closet? No- that might make it worse. Hug him? Bakugo Katsuki wasn’t good at hugs, he might mess it up and hurt him.  

How does he stop Izuku from crying and how does he stop his heart from churning in his chest? 

His hand reached out and his thumb wiped under Izuku’s eye, then moving down under his chin to pull Izuku’s face towards his own. 

What is my body doing? Shit, what am I supposed to say now? He down looked at the bleary faced man. 

Then suddenly, there were arms latched around his waist and a face in his chest, a wet spot slowly forming on his shirt. 

“I-it’s a-all my f-f-fault. It’s-it’s-it’s all, it’s all-all, all my fault.” he stuttered into the blonde’s chest. 

The churning only got worse as his blood started to boil, still not knowing how to handle the situation. 

He decided to slowly move his arms around Izuku’s blubbering figure. 

His body relaxed in the slightest when Katsuki wrapped his arms around him, although it didn’t dismiss how tense his body still is. 

“I-I k-k-k-killed those p-people. I killed-I killed those-those people.” His teeth were chattering as he gasped for air and his fingers clasped onto the shirt in front of him. 

Katsuki pulled him closer. 

“I don’t deserve to be All Might’s successor!” he suddenly raised his voice into what could just barely be considered a yell, “I never did!” pained sobs raked through his chest. 

With that, Katsuki froze, he didn’t deserve to be All Might’s successor? Fucking bullshit.

“Shut up.” his voice came out in more of a broken growl than his regular voice.

“Why?!” Izuku raised his voice again, this time looking up at Katsuki.

That broke his heart, looking down at Izuku, with pain laced in every stitch of his expression. His eyes like sea glass, so fragile that they could crack. Tears streaming down his face, his nose snotty.  

Katsuki went to speak, his voice cracking as he asked, “Why?”

He cleared his throat but it didn’t help, his throat was too raw from being on the verge of tears, “Why, you ask?

(Because I am here! No…)

“Because I’ve never met someone more fucking capable than you,  you know that? I’m sure All Might saw it too! Sure you fucked up, we’ve all fucked up. Was your’s a big fuckup? Fuck yeah it was, but you know what? That doesn’t make me love you any less!” He finished, a tear rolling down his cheek. 

Katsuki froze, shocked for a second, but it was already too late for him to take back what he said.  All he could do was watch Izuku’s face as he processed the words from Katsuki. 

“Love me. . .” he paused, before continuing, “You mean like platonically? Or. . . romantically?” 

“What do you think?” Katsuki retorts, voice breaking, his heart had been replaced by a bag of bricks.  

He lifted his chin and looked away from Izuku, trying to hide his anxiety as he waited for a reply.

Katsuki felt fingers on either side of his face, pulling it down so he was face to face with Izuku. Both of them sporting pink across their cheeks. 

It happened, short lived as they broke away to look at the other each asking the other the same question. 

Is this really okay? 

They answered each other, lips coming together, salty tears adding to the experience of their first real kiss. 

“You fucking idiot,” Izuku whispered, “You huge fucking idiot.”

“And you’re one to talk?”

Izuku looked away before noticing the bowls of curry sitting on the counter. “We forgot about the food.” 

“We can heat it up later, we’re having a moment here. Talk to me, please?” Katsuki used a small wobbly bottom lip to put him at an advantage.

Izuku POV

Did, did Kacchan just wobble his lip at me? Oh lord, pray for me.

Katsuki POV

“Well… it’s quite a bit… Can we discuss it while we eat?” he’d given in to the wobbly lip, thank god.

“Of course,” Katsuki nodded reaching out to grab his bowl. He stirred it a bit allowing the cutlet to become submerged by rice and curry. Steam still rising from the rice, “they should still be warm enough, we don’t have to warm them up.”

Izuku followed suit, scooping a spoonful of curry powder into his bowl, following Katsuki to the couch where he turned on the T.V. He lowered the volume to sit at five. Allowing them to have background noise for the potentially awkward silences but not being so loud that they’d struggle to hear each other. 

They took several bites of their respective curries before Izuku started, “What do you want to know?” 

“Everything you can bear to tell me right now, but if it becomes too much let me know. I don’t want to push you.” Katsuki stared firmly, making Izuku aware that there would be consequences if he didn’t listen. 

“O-oh, okay, well, where should I start?”

“How about why you were crying in the kitchen just now, if you can.” Who knew the Bakugo Katsuki could be so accommodating? 

“W-well you see,” Izuku stumbled at first before firming his resolve, “I felt like I let All Might down. That I shouldn’t have become his successor, that of me and Mirio even now he’s still the better option.  And for me? Well, I’d probably be better off quirkless and worthless.” 

That last sentence smacked Katsuki repeatedly in the face, with a metal bat, and of course he felt as though he deserved it. I mean, where else would Izuku have chosen those two specific words from?

Izuku continued, “ And I know I’m only human but Kacchan, my goal was to bring smiles to peoples faces as a hero. Now I’ve brought not only death to these families but tears to their faces! How am I supposed to fix that? I can’t revive the dead or give orphaned kids new parents! I just don’t know how I’m going to fix all of this Kacchan.” 

Hey, that bag of bricks, also called your heart Katsuki, I think someone dropped a cartoon anvil on it. It’s still just as heavy but convenient in terms of size. 

Just as Katsuki is about to start, Izuku says one last thing, “I just, have been holding onto feelings like that for the past two days. I didn’t really think I would break this soon, I’ve held onto similar things longer. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation.” 

‘Sorry for- sorry for putting you in this situation?’ Ooh boy, was Katsuki going to (gently) let him fucking have it.

“Don’t be sorry, don’t you ever be fucking sorry for things beyond your control.” 

Throwing his arm around Izuku, he ruffled his hair again and says, “Holding everything in doesn’t help, ya know.” 

(Say it louder for the people in the back Bakuboi.)

Izuku leans into his side and responds, I’ll keep that in mind.” 

No Specific POV

The two finished their curry before curling up on the couch together to watch T.V. In the end though, it was the T.V. that wound up watching them sleep. Noise playing softly and the screen’s light hitting their faces gently.

That’s all folks! The underlined parts strewn in there were me, I couldn’t help myself, tbh if I didn’t try to hold back there’d be at least five more. Ehehehe don’t hate me please?

[bellovebug]

Phanniemay19 Day 2: Secrets

Shit.

Danny grimaced, staring down at the concrete as his shoes hit the ground. An entire project. How am I going to get that done in a single day? He had completely forgotten about the History project due the next day due to a breakout from the ghost zone.

He put his hands on his head, feeling the headache coming from a mile away, and groaned.

He stopped to get his headphones out of his bag- gotta smother all that environmental input, right?- when he heard a noise coming from a nearby alley.

He stopped cold, listening, hand itching to snatch the Fenton thermos from his bag. Rustling and what sounded like the rattling of a can falling resounded out of the alleyway, and he snuck as quietly as he could to peer around the corner.

At first sight, there was nothing. Just a couple trash bags, and the back entrance to a building which looked like it hadn't been opened in a couple decades. Movement caught his eye, however, and something was definitely moving behind one of those trash bags.

He followed his instincts, removing his Fenton thermos from his bag and stalking up to the oversized bag. He resisted the urge to cough from the rancid smell in the alleyway as he reached the trashbag.

He reached a hand towards it cautiously, ready to leap back at any moment and uncap the thermos.

He grabbed the bag roughly, flinging it to the side (with some struggle- Danny wasn't that strong). And to his surprise, there was no ghost lurking, no rabid coyote rummaging for food. No, no, instead, tangled in a torn up towel, was a tiny black kitten.

“Oh,” he sighed in relief. He screwed the cap on the thermos and tossed it back in his bag. He looked down at the little guy, fur matted with some unknown substance and greasy in the few places it was clear. It was clear the kitten was homeless, if not for the fur than for the way its ribs were clearly visible even under all of its fur.

He couldn't lie, it tugged on his heartstrings. The kitten let out a pitiful mew, twisting to release its paw from where it was stuck in the towel, and Danny practically melted. He reached out to untangle it, and it jolted, flinching away from his hand and thrashing to get away.

“Shh, shh,” he murmured quietly, but the kitten was not calmed. “It's okay. It's okay.” He didn't want to get caught by the kitten's tiny claws- as innocent as it looked, he knew they could carry diseases- so he wrapped the sleeve of his sweatshirt around his hands before reaching again. The kitten couldn't do much, being all wrapped up, but hell if it didn't try.

Danny freed one paw from the strings, and the kitten slipped out of his hands, trying to run away. However, one paw was still snagged, and it dragged the towel behind it.

Danny quickly caught it again- he had no doubt that had the towel not been there the kitten would be long gone by now- and freed his last foot. The kitten let out a high pitched growl and sunk it's little teeth into his hand. His sweatshirt muffled all but the slight pressure and the kitten's ears were flattened down against its head, clearly afraid.

Realizing he wouldn't be able to do anything productive, he released the kitten, and it raced into the shadows. He sighed, and went to retrieve his backpack, slipping the Fenton thermos inside and shouldering it on.

He guessed he actually had to deal with that project now, huh?

-----

It was a minor ghost. It really shouldn't have been such a huge problem- it usually didn't take him longer than a few minutes to take down a ghost such as this.

But they had been dancing around each other for at least half an hour already, and dead or undead, Danny was tiring.

He shot several ghost rays at the ghost, all but one of which it dodged with unnatural agility, the other barely clipping its side. It let out an unearthly shriek which didn't do anything but make his ears ring.

“Hey, use your inside voice!”

Okay, he would admit it. It wasn't his best quip. But he was tired, alright? Cut him some slack. He had gotten a grand total of one hour of sleep that night, working on Lancer's essay til 3 while insomnia took over the rest. And it was the night after that, and it was already almost 2 am, and he just really wanted to get the hell out of there and get in his bed.

That is, until he heard a small, squeaky mew.

He looked around frantically, trying to scan the alleyway while also dodging the ghost's attack. At first he couldn't find anything, until he saw a tiny black face peeking out from between a trash can lid and the brick wall.

Oh, hell no.

He couldn't even be responsible for his own life- sometimes lack thereof. How was he supposed to think about protecting this kitten along with himself?

Well, he thought. I can't just stop fighting, so….

The ghost took advantage of his apparent distraction, and attacked him in a way Danny had never seen before.

Its tail extended, but thinned, and thwipped out towards him like a whip.

Maybe he shouldn't have made that comparison, because as fast as he tried to move out of the way, it unfurled in a fraction of a second, cutting through the air so quick Danny could barely see it.

But damn did he feel it when it hit his abdomen, letting out a harsh crack.

Danny was a tough guy- he could admit it. He screamed.

Ow ow ow ow-

Before he could recover, it lashed again, this time the strike hitting his shoulder and wrapping around to his back.

He didn't need to look to know the wound was awful. It was freezing, and he would bet that the fabric was torn and that ectoplasm was seeping out.

He couldn't take this much longer.

He raised his hand, shooting as many ghost rays as he possibly could. There were so many bullets that the ghost couldn't dodge all of them.

They continued like that, dodging and shooting and, in Danny's case, screaming occasionally.

The pain in his abdomen worsened the longer he fought- it buzzed, but it didn't feel asleep. It felt like the wound was sinking deeper and deeper, corrupting his organs and crumbling his bones.

He was almost worried that it was true- you can never really tell with ecto attacks.

The ghost caught his face, bruising his cheek and leaving him dizzy.

And it had no mercy.

Crack.

Pain.

Crack.

Pain.

Crack.

Pain.

He stopped screaming on the second blow, only having enough energy to let out a broken whimper.

I have to get closer, he thought.

And it took him a while, but he did.

He uncapped the Fenton thermos, and the ghost began to blur into the container. But not before it manage to fire off one last bullet.

The ghost swirled into the depths of the thermos, and he shoved the cap on as quick as he could. And it was a good thing, too, because he most surely would have dropped it.

The blast met its mark, slamming into his chest.

He fell.

It felt like 3 years, he was falling, but it was undoubtedly no longer than 3 seconds before he hit the ground.

It knocked the air out of him, and he couldn't breathe. His ears rang, but it sounded as if he were underwater, sounds such as his thermos hitting the ground muffled and far away. His vision was spotted with splotches of black. He felt like radio static.

He choked. His chest seized and he couldn't breathe.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe breathe breathe

He felt his own blood- ectoplasm- no, that was warm, it was blood. Had he turned back? He couldn't. Remember. Remember.

He coughed, and he breathed.

He sucked in air like a ravenous man who hadn't eaten for weeks, heaving. He coughed again, and fuck, that was a bad idea. With every breath his chest ached bad.

He paused, laying there. He would have to get up eventually. He had a French test the next day- it was his only A. French test. French test.

Get up.

Come on, he thought. I need to get up.

But his body didn't seem to agree. He leaned upwards, and his chest released a sharp pang of pain.

Okay, sure. Maybe getting up wasn't such a good idea after all.

He lay there in the abandoned alleyway. He shut his eyes, and he probably would have fallen asleep if it hadn't been for a cold something touching his hand.

He yelped, jerking his hand away and sitting up far too fast. It made his head spin and fuck his entire chest felt like it had been run over by a truck.

He looked around for his assailant, and he sighed in relief. It was the kitten.

He reached a hand towards it, and it ducked, it's tail fluffing up like a bottle brush.

“Okay, okay,” he muttered lazily, too tired to do much else.

He closed his eyes, but the kitten stepped on him again. He opened his eyes, and the kitten's green eyes bored into his own. He didn't move, and it slowly and cautiously creeped up onto his stomach. He winced when it stepped on one of the cuts from the whip, but he left it alone, not wanting to scare it away. He coughed, however, and it jumped, leaping off his stomach. He sighed and began to get up.

He heaved himself onto his feet, and sure enough, he was in his human form. And his clothes were ripped. And, worse, stained with crimson. He didn't even know how much he bled- hopefully not so much that he'd have to ask Jazz to help him. She was a worrier, and it rubbed off on Danny, making him anxious.

So he began the walk home.

He stopped maybe halfway there to throw up in a nearby bush. He hoped he didn't have a concussion- that would be really bad.

As soon as he made it to his house, he opted to climb in the window. He doubted his ability to be subtle about shutting the door this late at night, and his parents were light sleepers (“Keeps us on our toes in case of ghouls!”).

He climbed in his window, and he stripped off his ruined shirt. He put it in a plastic bag- he couldn't very well throw it away in the kitchen garbage can, so he planned on throwing his ruined clothing in the outside garbage tomorrow morning.

Before he could do much else, he heard a tiny meow from outside his window.

Are you fucking with me right now?

He opened the window, and sure enough, there on the sidewalk below him was a tiny black blob. “God, fucking shit fuck asshole-” he sighed and ran his hands threw his hair. He couldn't leave it out there. He couldn't. His heart ached for the little thing.

He climbed down from his window once more, and he knelt to pick it up. It hissed.

“Make up your mind!” He whisper-yelled.

The kitten eyed him warily, but approached, sniffing.

It seemed to have gotten what it needed, and he reached to pick it up. It's eyes narrowed, but it seemed to accept him.

He picked it up, and he gnawed on his hand lightly, looking up at him.

“Aww,” he cooed. He used his other hand to rub a thumb on it's little forehead, and it leaned into the touch. It seemed like an entirely different cat.

He made quick work of sneaking the cat up to his room. As soon as he made it in his window, the kitten leapt down to the ground, sniffing around it's surroundings.

He closed the window and latched it.

It wasn't until he went to lay down that he remembered that his whole body ached like hellfire. I should probably wrap this, he thought.

He exited his room, shutting the door quietly but quickly to avoid the kitten escaping, and he crept to the bathroom. He retrieved the hefty medkit he and Jazz had bought from the top corner of the bathroom closet and made his way back to his room.

He sat on his bed gingerly and turned on his lamp along with his light. Lifting up his shirt, he gingerly poked at the marks left by the lashes. They were definitely bleeding, but the blood had already started to clot around the wounds. They weren't deep enough to need stitches, but he would definitely have to disinfect them and wrap them.

He started with removing his shirt before whiping away the blood surrounding them with a wet cloth. After, he went in with the disinfecting wipes in the kit for around them.

He and Jazz used to use rubbing alcohol to clean his wounds, but Jazz had switched it all out, talking about how the harsh liquid wasn't good for wounds. So Danny has to use saltwater to wash out the wound- apparently it was better than the alcohol, and it hurt less, which was a win.

He still hissed when he poured it from the bottle. He dabbed it with a napkin.

Then, the sound of claws in fabric could be heard as the kitten grappled its way up his comforter onto his bed. It squeaked quietly, and sniffed around him, as if in concern. Danny smiled weakly, the little furball giving him a some small amount of joy. It curled up against his leg, and he knew the guilt would kill him when he had to move.

After disinfecting all of his wounds he could reach- the one reaching around his back the only one he couldn't get- he sealed them with an excess amount of butterfly stitches. After they were all secured to his satisfaction, he gently wrapped the majority of his torso in a thin layer of gauze. He learned the hard way that having just s little gauze went a long way when it came to comfort.

When the cuts had been treated, he turned his attention to his chest, where a huge, sprawling bruise sprouted from his sternum. It was already dark blue and red, with hints of purple here and there. He poked it gingerly and winced. That was gonna be a bitch to heal.

He sighed down at the little kitten leaning against his leg, not asleep but clearly tired.

“You're gonna need some food, aren't you, baby?” the kitten blinked up at him, yawning.

And that was how Jazz found him sneaking back up the stairs with a bowl of water and a plate loaded with a considerably large amount of salami.

“What are you doing?” She asked, crossing her arms.

“Uhmm…” he faltered. “I'm doing a… biology project…”

Jazz fixed him with a calculating stare. “I thought you had biology last year.”

He could have hit himself. “I did!” He coughed once, twice, almost spilling the water. “I meant- I meant chemistry. I'm doing a chemistry project.”

“At almost three in the morning?” she met his eyes, and he held her stare. Don't break eye contact. She can smell fear.

“...Yes.”

She squinted suspiciously. He could feel the sweat in his hands.

Finally, relief. “You should really work on staying more up to date with your homework. You're in sophomore year, Danny-”

“Yeah! Yeah, totally, I get it, Jazz-” he began to back up towards his door.

“You really need to kick into gear-”

“You're entirely right. Anyways I'm just gonna-” he bumped into the wall, and he desperately wanted to escape.

“If you want, I could always help you with your homework-”

“Yeah, yeah! That's great Jazz, thank you-”

“Wait, Danny, hold on-”

“Goodnight, Jazz, love you!” He opened the door and slid into his room as fast as he could, shutting it behind him.

He slid his back down the door, sighing in relief. He set the water and the salami down on the floor, looking around for his friend.

At first glance, he couldn't spot it, but upon further searching, Danny spotted a little pink nose peeking out from under his bed.

He moved the water toward the kitten, and it backed up a few steps, fading further into the dark. He picked up a piece of salami and extended his arm- shit, other arm, this one got whipped.

The kitten sniffed the air began to creep forward. Once it was within arm's reach, he held the salami under its nose, and it began a soft growl. Seeing the warning- probably there because this cat had lived on the streets- he left the salami on the ground and retracted his hand. It eyed him warily, and once it decided he wasn't going to try and take it, it bit the slice and shook her head, and within a matter of maybe 20 seconds, it was gone.

It scarfed down the rest of the salami in a similar fashion. Maybe he shouldn't be giving a cat so much salami, but it wasn't as if they had cat food lying around, and he was trying his best.

Once the kitten realized he had water, it cautiously stepped towards it, never once taking its big green eyes off of him. He tried to hold as still as he could, not wanting to scare it away.

Clearly, it was thirsty, because it drank for a solid three minutes straight. Danny didn't even know if it was breathing.

Satisfied that the kitten was fed and watered and would be okay for the night, he flicked the lights off and crawled under his comforter. He rolled to one side, and immediately rolled to the other when it became evident that his wounds would make it uncomfortable to sleep.

He took a deep breath, and fell asleep, the last thing he heard being a quiet purr from beneath his bed.

-----

It was a slow day. Like, a really slow day. Lancer's essay had finished yesterday, and they were starting a new unit. He had work in his other classes, but they were busy work, and not exactly hard.

He was walking with Sam and Tucker out in the courtyard.

“I really don't know what was up with that ghost. It was super strong for one like that, and I swear I was fighting it for, like, an hour,” he complained.

Tuck sighed in sympathy, resting a hand on Sam's shoulder. “A moment of silence for our fallen brother, who also had to write Lancer's essay in under two hours.”

Sam smacked his hand away and Tucker snorted. “Well, you wouldn't have that problem if you just did the work like you're supposed to.”

“Shut up, Sam, you're fucking gifted when it comes to essays-” Tucker began.

“No, I just have opinions you plain ass-”

Danny didn't get to hear the rest of that sentence, because across the courtyard, he spotted a little black smudge. It can't be, he thought. He had made sure to lock his door and close his window before he left. But sure enough, as they walked closer, he definitely recognized the uneven fur and huge green eyes.

Looking around for any teachers, he started forth to nab the little furball. To his surprise, it didn't even hiss, just gnawed gently on his thumb.

“Is that a cat?” He heard Sam say as she and Tucker caught up to him.

“Uh… yeah…” he began. “I found it a couple times on the streets and it followed me home last night.”

“Well, first of all, it is definitely a she,” Sam protested.

“How do you know?” Tucker piped in.

“Is it really a surprise that I enjoy studying animal anatomy?” Sam rolled her eyes. “I'm a vegan.”

Danny heard Tucker mutter “yeah, we know,” and Sam's resultant squawk of indignation, but was distracted by Dash, who was sauntering up to them with his usual cocky gait.

Danny sighed. What would he want today? Lunch money? (Danny almost laughed at that.) “What do you want, Dash?”

“Is that a cat?” Dash looked at him coldly, but his voice was probably the least mean he'd ever heard it.

“It sure is, Dash,” Tucker began. “Very astute observation of you.”

“Foley, I swear to God, I'll beat your-”

“Okay! Okay, guys, calm down. Yes, Dash, it is a cat. Is that all you wanted?” Sam interjected.

“No,” Dash addressed her. He turned back to Danny, and if Danny didn't know any better, he'd say Dash was looking at the cat affectionately. “What's her name?”

“Uh,” Danny halted. “Uh- her name is, um.” He racked his brain, but before he could come up with something good, he blurted, “Phil. Her name's Phil.”

Dash eyed him incredulously, and Danny wanted to jump off a building.

“Fenton, I don't know if you're aware of this, but did you know that Phil is actually usually a guy's name?” Sarcasm dripped from seemingly every orifice on Dash's face.

“Its- it's short for-” he thought wildly. “-Philadelphia.”

“...Why?”

“Um. My. My uncle lives there,” He blurted lamely.

“But, Danny,” Tucker piped up. “You don't have a-”

“Shut your hoe mouth, Tucker-”

“That's the dumbest name for a cat I've ever heard,” Dash finally replied. Danny couldn't retaliate, because Dash was right. Philadelphia was a horrible name for a cat. But to Danny's surprise, Dash shuffled a bit, looking almost nervous. “...Can I hold her?”

Danny eyed him, shocked. He'd never heard Dash so docile in his life. He was hesitant, but as much of a dick as Dash was, Danny didn't think he'd hurt an animal. “Uhh… sure.”

Danny held out the kitten- Phil, god he would never live this down- and Dash took her gently, cradling her against his chest. Danny half hoped she would go wild and attack Dash, but to his surprise, she started up a little purr. Dash rubbed her little forehead, and she raised her chin into the touch.

Danny made incredulous eye contact with Sam and Tuck, who were about as shocked as he was.

Dash cooed at her, a small smile on his face. (Danny couldn't help the fact that the smile made Dash look… almost…. Cute. But Danny was absolutely not going to deal with that right now.)

Dash held Phil back out to Danny, and he took her back. “...Thanks,” Dash gritted out. “She's cute.”

Then, he sauntered away, as if anything about that situation was normal.

Danny turned back to Sam and Tucker, who were both recovering from their shellshock. Tucker, however, began to cackle, and Sam rolled her eyes.

“Really? Phil? Danny, you really are one dumb bitch-”

---

He ended up explaining the whole story of Phil's existence to Tucker and Sam on their walk from school that day, leaving out the part about almost dying in that fight against the ghost.

“But you guys can't tell Jazz, or my mom or dad about her,” Danny pleaded.

“Why not?” Tucker asked.

“Because, I don't think my parents would let me keep a cat in the house, and then Jazz would lecture me on how it was irresponsible to take in a living creature and i need to take it to a shelter-”

“Yeah, that's because Jazz is smart, and you should listen to her,” Sam argued. “You really need to take it to a shelter. Actually, I know where a super humane one is, we can go right now-

“No, no, Sam, please!” Danny held Phil, who was curled up in his arms. “Please. I'll take her to one eventually, I just…” he tried to justify not taking her sooner, and he couldn't. “I don't know. I don't know, okay? I wanna keep her around. I like her.”

Sam fixed him with furrowed brows. After several seconds, she sighed. “Fine. But only because you're my best friend and I love you.”

Danny smiled weakly. “Thanks, Sam. Love you too.”

“Wow. Thanks, guys. I'm really feeling the love over here,” Tucker interjected jokingly.

“Love you too, Tucker,” Danny and Sam said in synchrony, overly sweet.

“Aww, really?” Tucker said, clutching a hand on his chest and swooning. “You guys are too sweet.”

---

Upon arriving at his house, he soon realized that he would have to walk through the entire thing to get to his room. And he was not going to do that while holding Phil in plain sight.

Checking his window, he found that it was locked.

“I'm sorry, Phil,” he muttered, unzipping his backpack. He shoved everything as deep as he could, and set her inside. He choked back a wave of guilt as she looked up at him before he zipped it closed.

Luckily, he didn't have too much trouble on his way to his room. The only road bump was his mom sitting at the kitchen table, asking him about his day.

As soon as he shut his door, he unzipped his backpack, and she jumped out, fur ruffled. As soon as she got the chance, she scurried away under his bed.

And it was lucky, too, because mere seconds later, Jazz threw open his door unannounced.

“Jazz!” He exclaimed, scrambling up from his floor.

“Hey, Danny, do you-” she was interrupted by a sharp sneeze.

“Bless you.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I just wanted to know if you-” she sneezed again. “-if you knew where my calculus-” she sneezed twice in a row. “-my calculus binder is.”

And then Danny remembered Jazz was allergic to cats.

“No, sorry.” He rushed to get her out before she noticed, and God forbid Phil run out from her hiding space before Jazz was gone. “Did you look in the lab? Maybe dad mistook it for his studies or something.” He ushered her back towards his door.

“No, I didn't-” sneeze- “but I will. Thanks.” She sneezed one final time, and Danny sighed in relief when she shut the door behind her.

He sat on his bed, falling back. He immediately regretted it when the pain in his abdomen flared up, but that was easily fixed by a couple Advil.

He suddenly realized how tired he was. He had gotten maybe four or five hours of sleep total in the past three days, and healing was evidently taking up a lot of energy. But for the first time in a while, he actually didn't have any homework. So it wouldn't matter if he took a quick 20 minute nap, right?

---

The next time he woke up, his brain felt stuffed with cotton, and he honestly couldn't tell whether or not he was currently on earth.

Picking up his phone- which was at 7%, he noticed- he found that it was 2:37 am.

Great. Just when he thought he'd have the chance to right his sleep schedule.

He tried rolling over and going back to sleep, but his mind was already up and running. Danny knew he wouldn't get to sleep for at least a few hours, if at all, so he opted to make the most out of his time.

He sat up and stretched, his back popping in multiple different places. He moved to swing his legs over the side of the bed, but a weight on his legs stopped him.

Of course. It was Phil, curled up in a tiny ball and sleeping soundly- at least until he sat up.  Now, she yawned, looking up at him curiously. Her hair was sticking up all over the place, and she still looked greasy…

He had nothing better to do, right?

So he gave her a bath in his bathroom sink filled with lukewarm water. She struggled, her meows were high pitched but quiet. His heart broke every time she looked at him with those wide, terrified eyes.

He washed her black fur with Dawn dish soap-  that was safe, right? That was the one with the commercials about washing baby ducks.

By the time he was done, the water was a murky brownish red, and dead fleas floated on the surface. It was disgusting. A quick Google yielded the information that, evidently, the red tint in the water was because of all the fleas that were killed by the dish soap. He struggled to think that so many fleas lived on a single kitten.

She looked tiny like this, with her fur plastered down from being wet. He could see her ribs and he would be lying if he said it didn't make him tear up just a little bit. Danny swaddled her in a towel and an extra soft blanket that he had. She attempted to worm her way out of the burrito multiple times, but each time Danny thwarted her attempts. He also retrieved more salami from the fridge.

By the time he was satisfied that she wouldn't freeze outside of the blanket, Phil had fallen asleep. That was okay- he curled up on his side and her little burrito rested against his chest, her fluffy, (now) soft fur barely poked over the top, and he couldn't stop himself from giving her a little kiss on the head.

Well, he knew right then that he probably couldn't give her up. He would cry in the shelter.

He couldn't keep her a secret forever. She couldn't very well eat salami for the rest of her life, and he would like to get her checked out by a vet.

He did feel bad about Jazz's allergy, though.

But he thought she would like Phil if she didn't have it. Hopefully they could work something out?

He sighed, and closed his eyes.

He was just drifting off, when a thought popped to the forefront of his mind.

Her name's Phil. Short for Philadelphia. My uncle lives there.

He was such a fucking idiot.

[miachanelparker]

Baby, Maybe?

INVOLVED: Mia Parker and Tyler Carter  TIME FRAME: Saturday, February 9th, 2020 LOCATION: Carter Condo; Houston, Texas SUMMARY: Tyler brings home pregnancy test for Mia to take.

Tyler walked into the penthouse, pulling his snapback off and hanging it on the rack by the door before he toed off his shoes, using his foot, to push them aside, near the rack. In his hand he held a bag of three different pregnancy tests, chocolates, and a nice cold can of raspberry Peace Tea. “Baby?” he called out to Mia as he moved for the kitchen, setting the bag on the island before he opened it up and pulled everything out, placing it all on the counter. Moving for the cabinet, he grabbed a glass, quickly rinsing it out with water before he turned to the counter, cracking open the can and pouring some into the glass for Mia. “Mia?” he called out once more, thinking maybe she was asleep again, as usual, as she had been a lot recently. He understood, growing a life wasn’t an easy task. At the thought, he figured she probably hadn’t eaten much today either and he moved into the pantry, grabbing a can of vegetable soup. He opened the can, snatching a bowl down from the cabinet before he poured the soup into it and popped it into the microwave. Once the microwave timer went off, he pulled the hot bowl out carefully and sat it on the counter as well. Squatting down, he opened the cabinet under the island and found the tray. He wiped it down with a wet cloth and dried it with a paper towel before he organized everything onto the tray. The pregnancy tests, the glass of tea, the soup, and he even added a roll of crackers, and the chocolates. He was ready. Holding onto the tray, he moved up the stairs and towards the bedroom. He toed the door open and smiled at the sight of her asleep in the bed. Moving to place the tray on the nightstand, he sat on the bed beside her, gently resting his hand on her thick hip as he leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Mia…” he whispered softly.

Mia let out a small snore into the room as she slept under a blanket on top of the bed. Mia was worn out and she didn’t know why, she’d stayed up until about 10 pm to finish an assignment she had however mainly she had dealt with nausea throughout the night. She had thrown up exactly three times before her body just gave out and into its own exhaustion and she’d been sleep ever since. She shifted under the blanket a little faintly hearing the calling of her name however she continued to sleep peacefully. As Tyler sat beside her and caused the bed to dip a little she sleepily woke as Tyler planted a kiss to her cheek. “Hmm?” She moaned out as she closed her eyes again and opened them once more trying to wake herself up even as she pulled the warm blanket closer to her chest.

Tyler chuckled softly as Mia tried to wake herself up. “Wake up,” he nuzzled her neck lovingly, his hand gently rubbing her hip before he slid it towards her stomach, holding her there. “I got something for you,” he whispered into her ear gently, his large hand resting on her stomach protectively.

Mia smirked as Tyler nuzzled his face into her neck and she shifted stretching her short limbs a bit. “I’m up” she said in a groggy voice to him as he gently rubbed her. At his words she furrowed her brows “what is it baby?” She asked him gently her lips pressed against his lovingly, greeting him properly. She thought he was in the house the entire time; he hadn’t told her he was leaving the house.

Tyler smiled down at Mia sweetly as she stretched her short body and shifted in the bed. His hand rubbed her stomach lovingly as he kissed her back. Slowly he pulled his hand from her stomach and he reached for one box. He had picked up a Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Test with Smart Countdown, a First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test, and an EPT Digital Early Pregnancy Test while at the store. Picking up the clear blue box, he held it out to her and smiled softly. “I think that you should take this and see,” he said tenderly, his freehand falling back to her stomach gently.

Mia looked to Tyler as she sat up a little in the bed leaning against their mountain of pillows. When he flashed the box to her, she sat upright grabbing it from him and looking it over. “You think so?” she asked him, Mia wasn’t dumb however she wasn’t experienced with a lot of these things. The girl just wasn’t educated on subjects like this because she’d never been subjected to it and her parents never let it influence her. “You think that’s what’s wrong with me?” she asked him softly as he held his hand against her stomach.

Tyler gazed at Mia with soft eyes and he nodded slowly. “I do,” he whispered lovingly as his hands rubbed her stomach once more. “You’ve been tired all the time, throwing up, not eating much,” he told her gently. “A little grumpy,” he added out the side of his mouth. “I mean you never took the Plan B pill,” he reminded her knowingly. “It’s possible, either pregnancy or you have the flu,” he told her thinking it over. “But I’m banking on that fact that your pregnant baby girl,” he said gently.

As he replied back to her, Mia nodded her head looking down at the box again. As he went on to now list the symptoms she had, she disregarded his grumpy statement she wasn’t supposed to hear and said, “I heard that,” softly as she read the back of the box. Her heart began to race, she just knew some way somehow God would work it out to where, magically she just didn’t get pregnant. She nodded her head; she didn’t take the pills and here they were. “Okay” she breathed looking up to him “what if it says yes?” she asked him looking into his eyes with her puppy dog ones, “or no…” she asked him then. She didn’t know why she was asking him this, she was just processing everything.

Biting back a chuckle, Tyler tucked his lips inward as he watched her read over the back of the box. At her questions, he let out a soft sigh and said, “if it’s positive, then, you’re having my baby,” he said with a soft smile, “and we’ll work it out. You know I’ll always provide for you Mia,” he said lovingly. “If it’s negative, then it wasn’t meant to be and we’ll be more careful from now on,” he said honestly. “That is unless you want to start actively trying,” he said gently, wanting to leave the ball in her court and give her options.

Mia looked to him and she nodded her head, her mind was cloudy God she didn’t even know what to say. As she shifted in the bed, she looked at the other boxes and the food he’d gotten her and the drink, even the box of chocolates and she looked at him lovingly. “You got me chocolates?” she asked him sweetly as she rested her hand against his face, her eyes watering a little. How did she get to be so lucky in life? “That is so sweet” she told him as she kissed his lips again closing her eyes as she basked in the love flowing from her and the love she was receiving. She pulled away from him and said “okay, let me go take these” quietly as she rolled the blanket back, she had covering her, and she climbed out of their bed gently.

Tyler smiled softly. “I got you chocolates,” he confirmed as she stroked his face. He kissed her once more before he nodded and he moved off the bed, getting out of her way. As she slid from the bed, he grabbed the other two test boxes and moved behind her towards the bathroom. Entering he moved for the counter, opening the two boxes and pulling the contents out, prepping everything for her so it would be easier to take all three in one sitting.

Mia moved into their bathroom, her heart was still racing in her chest as she opened the box slowly and pulled everything out of it. She sat the box on the counter, and she exhaled her nervousness as she moved to pull her yoga pants down, she sat on the toilet it didn’t matter that he was in there, he’d seen everything she had to offer anyway. That’s why they were here. She bit her lip as she began to tinkle, sticking the stick between her legs like the box had told her to. As she hummed sweetly as she practically stopped herself from peeing further as she jiggled the stick and pulled it from between her legs capping it. “Here babe” she said handing him that one as she waited for him to give her another.  

Tyler finished prepping the two tests for her as she sat and began to urinate on the one and as she handed it to him, he handed her another, trying not to really watch her as she sat there peeing. Yes, it’s a normal thing for someone to do and he had literally seen every single inch of her body before, but it was odd to just sit there and watch someone pee. So, despite him standing right there, he tried to at least give her the illusion of privacy. He looked down at the capped test, she had just urinated on and watched it curiously as it did whatever it needed to do despite the fact that they at least needed to wait three to five minutes to know for sure. Slowly he glanced at her, handing her the last of the three tests.

Mia took the next test and she also relieved herself on that one as well for a moment before she stopped, and she jiggled it and capped it before she handed it over to him. When he handed her the last one, she released a long breath of air, she was so scared and why she didn’t know. “Okay” she coached herself as she too peed on that stick as well before she handed it over to him and she relieved herself fully emptying her bladder. She did this what seemed like every minute anyway and she grabbed some tissue finishing her business before she got up and flushed the toilet. Having fixed her clothes Mia moved to wash her hands as she looked to him for a moment, as she dried them she said “I don’t think I can sit here and wait” honestly sitting the towel aside as she moved back into their bedroom shaking her hands nervously. Exhaling slowly again.

Tyler took the last test and he threw the boxes in the trash and moved the test over on the counter, washing his hands as Mia finished up and got herself situated. As she washed her own hands and told him that she couldn’t bear to sit and wait, she nodded. “It’s okay, I’ll do it,” he told her gently as she walked out. Tyler’s eyes followed her before he began to pace back and forth slowly. His eyes watched the clock. Time never moved slower than when you were waiting to see if a pregnancy test was positive or not. He knew. He had done so a few times before and there were times where he had been lucky with other girls and it had been negative, but there were also three times it had been positive and he had to turn around and take the girls to a clinic to get everything squared away. Needless to say, he didn’t have any illegitimate babies running around. However, with Mia it was different. Even if she wasn’t set to be his wife, he wanted a baby with her. He wanted a family with her. He wanted the American Dream with Mia. Just like that three minutes had passed, and he turned to the counter, looking down at all three tests as they displayed in various ways that Mia was indeed carrying his child. He licked his lips slowly as he picked up the tests and walked out of the bathroom, moving towards Mia. “My baby is having my baby...,” he said gently as he knelt before her, showing her the positive tests.

Mia sat on the bed in their room, she decided that she needed to get her mind off of all of this so that she didn’t die from the suspense of it all. Grabbing the box of chocolates, she popped it open and started to stuff her face with some chocolates, she was drowning her nervous down with food. It wasn’t healthy but she did it. She used food to cope with a lot of things in life, hence her size. She licked her lips and licked her fingers as she continued to pop chocolate in her mouth. She hummed to herself as she bounced her foot against the siding of the bed. Licking her fingers one last time she looked to Tyler as he surfaced, and his words made her heart sink to her feet. “What?” she said looking at all three tests and all the positives. “We are pregnant,” Mia said looking back to him, for a long while she just stared at him with wide eyes before she began to cry, it was happy tears actually. She wasn’t sad or mad she was shocked; she really didn’t think the little slip up would really get her pregnant. “We are having a baby...” she said in a soft tone looking at the test again as she cried cutely.

Tyler stayed kneeled before Mia, holding the tests out as she processed everything. As she began to cry, he frowned slightly, placing his hand on her thigh. “Mia,” he whispered softly. “I’m sorry,” he breathed out, thinking that she was sad or upset about the realization. “We’re having a baby,” he repeated her gently holding her hand softly. He gazed up at her, blinking slowly as he sat the tests on the bed and slid closer to her, his body between her legs as he nuzzled his face in her stomach gently. “What are you thinking?” he asked her gently, his lips pressed against her stomach.  

Mia sniffled hard as she wiped her tears and she chuckled “I am happy, shocked but happy” she said with a smile. “I can’t believe it Ty” she said softly. “We are having a baby” she breathed once more still basking in it. She rested her hand on his head as he nuzzled her stomach “now we know what has been keeping me up all night and tired all day, and sick most of the afternoon” she breathed as she wiped another tear.

Tyler chuckled softly, letting out a sigh of relief to know that Mia was happy. “I been knew,” he told her gently, “I told you my baby was having my baby weeks ago,” he smirked at her, remembering the day he found the box of Plan B and proposed to her. He just knew it. It had no real clue if she would actually get pregnant or not, but he felt it in his spirit. Kissing her stomach gently he began to sing to her stomach, “I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life, I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life…” recalling the Savage Garden classic.

Mia looked at him oddly “why didn’t you say anything?” she asked him as she wiped a few more tears. She was truly happy; he had no real idea at the moment. As he brought up the memory, she chuckled at him and nodded her head “you did” she agreed. As he kissed her stomach, she looked down at him with so much love for him in her eyes. When he started to sing Mia, eyebrows rose to her hairline as she looked at him shocked. She didn’t know Tyler could sing, she’d never heard him do so before and outside of that the words made her heart grow and another tear ran down her cheek and dripped from her chin.

Tyler continued to sing, “There's just no rhyme or reason, only the sense of completion, and in your eyes, I see… the missing pieces I'm searching for I think I've found my way home, I know that it might sound, more than a little crazy, but I believe, I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life, I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life…” trailing off, he gazed up at Mia and finally answered her question. “I had to be sure,” he whispered gently, “and I thought maybe you knew and just didn’t want to tell me,” he said, “but then I realized yesterday at the gender reveal that you really didn’t know…” he breathed out softly.

Mia watched him as he continued to sing, she had so many questions why had he kept this side of him from her until now? Never mind that, she wanted to bask in the pure innocence and love that a future father already had for a child he hadn’t even seen yet. As he spoke, she wiped under her eye again and nodded “I didn’t, I really thought it was a 1 in a million chance in my head” she admitted. “Nevertheless” she started “I can’t thank God enough” she told him sweetly “it’s just one blessing after the next” she told him. Before she said, “why haven’t you ever sung for me before?” she said pecking his lips. “Your voice is amazing baby” she expressed.

Looking up at her, Tyler nodded slowly, just taking her in. She was glowing. He placed both of his hands on her stomach and smiled sweetly. “A blessing,” he repeated. He wasn’t a religious guy in the slightest however, he could agree with her. This was truly a blessing. At her question, Tyler blushed softly. “I’m alright,” he said modestly. “I don’t sing to anyone,” he admitted. “Only my family knows that I can sing,” he told her. “My mother taught me,” he said honestly. Carmen had a beautiful voice.

As Tyler spoke Mia looked him over and she nodded her head “hm” she said quietly. “She did?” she said quietly as she rested her hand on his muscular arm. “Well, you have to sing to us more often” she said it came off as a request but really it was a demand. “I am sure the baby would like that” she said.

“Yeah,” Tyler nodded with a smile. “I think she was trained in opera or something,” he said honestly. His mother was a woman of many, many talents. “Oh really,” Tyler chuckled. “The baby would like that?” he asked her, rubbing her stomach lovingly.

“Yes, the baby would like that very much” Mia told him nodding her head. “A mother knows” she said slyly trying to contain her smirk as she rested her hands against his lovingly.

Chuckling, Tyler nodded slowly. “A mother knows, huh?” he said sweetly as he kissed her belly once more before he gazed up at her sweetly. “Well that can be arranged,” he told her honestly. “Any requests?”

Mia smirked at him and she shook her head cutely “not right now I don’t” she admitted. Licking her lips gently she gazed at him for a while before she leaned in and kissed his lips passionately. “I love you so much Tyler” she told him drawing back.

Kissing her lips lovingly, Tyler beamed up at her. “I love you too baby girl,” he said tenderly. “My wife is having my baby,” he said sweetly. “I’m a lucky motherfucker,” he said gently. “Let’s finally cash in that ticket to Paris to celebrate Valentine's Day” he told her sweetly. “I’ll talk to both of our teachers and let them know we’re taking a trip so they can just email all of our assignments. All I want you to worry about is packing a bag,” he told her lovingly, kissing her lips once more.

Mia giggled at Tyler’s words referring to her as his wife and the mother of his child was such a surreal thing to experience at this point of time in her life. “No, I am the lucky one” she corrected him lovingly. As he began to speak her eyes lit up “really?” she asked him as he laid the whole idea out in front of her and she agreed with “of course” she said happily. “I would love that; I was wondering when we were going to go finally” she told him. “That would be amazing!”

Tyler smiled at Mia as she agreed, and he licked his lips slowly. “Let’s try to go on the 12th, gives us a few days to prep and get ready and we can stay until the end of the month,” he said easily. “I can book us a suite tomorrow so we can touch down and head straight there, take a nap from jetlag, then hit the town,” he said thoughtfully.

“I like that idea” Mia said with a head nod as he laid it all out, she didn’t realize until now just how good he was at planning things at the drop of a dime. “Okay” she said nodding her head happily “this is going to be so fun and relaxing” she told him “we need this vacation” she told him.

“Yes, yes we do,” Tyler said lovingly as he finally moved off of his knees and he scooped Mia into his arms, pulling her off of the bed as he spun her around carefully, not wanting to make her nauseous or dizzy. “God, I love you,” he said sweetly as he stopped and kissing her tenderly.

Mia squealed as Tyler picked her up and spun her around and she held onto him tightly. As he spoke, she chuckled “I love you more” she said as he kissed her, and she kissed him back closing her eyes.

[wilhelmjfink]

November (pt. 3)

If you’ve made it this far, thanks :,)

You are miserably hot. You can feel the fabric of your shirt sticking to you, plastered with sweat. You force the tired muscles to move again, kicking the blankets that lay on top of you onto the floor and far away from your scorching skin. 

“She’s waking up,” you hear the people and commotion strangely clear, having anticipated another brain-rattling voice that yelled and screamed at you until you collapsed. But for now, you bask in the soft silence.

You’re so, so tired. Please, no more. Please... you can’t do it again. 

“Y/N, can you hear me?” This voice is... oddly mellow. Gentle. Comforting. But youre still terrified. Hesitant to get too close knowing it will inevitably turn against you, laughing at you or yelling all around you or taunting you or slowly killing you. Please, no more...

“Y/N, you’re okay. You’re safe now — back home in Alexandria.” The voice is so soothing and convincing. Who was it? “Daryl’s okay. You’re okay.”

Daryl’s okay?

Daryl’s okay. 

No. There’s no way that’s true — you’d seen him get bit and eaten alive with your own eyes, torn to shreds only to come back and do the same to you. You’d witnessed it. It was your fault. This is another nightmare, and you refuse to fall for it; refuse to open your eyes and be faced with what used to be Daryl, rotted jaw snapping at you and cloudy, dead eyes glaring at you. You can’t take it anymore — Jesus Christ, you just want it to end. No more. Please, no fucking more...

“You’re alright, kid. Just relax.”

It’s Rick. 

He’s back and you instantly feel the urge to start apologizing for everything: for leaving, for driving Daryl away, for killing him. For taking away his best friend, his brother.  But oddly enough, he doesn’t really sound upset... and his voice is the sweetest thing you think you’ve heard in a lifetime. 

Whenever he is, you need to find him. 

He’s real, physical, you can feel him, and you need to latch onto it. Beg him to take you back home and out of the depths of your mind where you’re locked away, being tortured for eternity with your biggest fears. You can’t stand it; this fate worse than hell. Far worse than hell. 

No more. 

A warm hand covers yours — you can feel it and it doesn’t feel like pins and needles or scorching fire against your nerves. It feels safe, familiar. It feels like home. 

You pry open your tired eyes with a newly found determination because Rick has got to be somewhere near you and you want to grasp his hand back and never let go. You want to revel in the sensation because its so different than anything you could ever remember feeling and you so badly want it to be real, even if it just feels that way for one minute before he turns on you again. Before it turns out just to be a mirage, another hallucination your mind taunts you with. 

You figure you must’ve lost your mind when you recognize the person sitting beside your bed as Daryl, his hand limply overtop of yours. 

Of course this was too good to be true. He looks like he’s asleep. Yanking your hand back you’re afraid that when he wakes up, he’s going to have already turned. And you don’t want to see that ever again — you can’t see that ever again. You were so tired of the guilt. Just make it stop. His head rests on his forearm with his hand hovering over him, like he’d passed out waiting head in hand for you to wake up or probably turn so he could be the one to stab the knife in between your eyes. 

Your subconscious screams at you to run because you just can’t do it again. You can’t be trapped inside your mind anymore.  You barely whisper the words to him, wanting him to hear your pleads but treading lightly as to not awake him: “Please, Daryl, make it stop.”

He hears you and stirs. 

With a gasp you jerk away. 

But you can smell him, the familiar scent of cigarettes and leather wrapping itself around you in a welcoming hug — you couldn’t smell him before. He has a black eye and a purple gash on his lip. He didn’t before. But he looks so young and peaceful when he’s asleep you almost can’t look away, despite the fear of what lies ahead whenever he decides to wake up. 

Someone moves behind you and you careen your head around and there sits Rick, a faint smile gracing his lips.

Strangely enough, you don’t feel the need to run and hide. 

It’s oddly deceiving, you think, and you eye him warily, unsure of what to make of the situation the way your body is reacting. You always trust your gut. You look back at Daryl. 

He hasn’t turned yet — he doesn’t look sick yet either you observe, and you think that maybe this time you will be able to have a little bit more time with him before you have to put him down or he comes back and tries to eat you alive, tearing you to shreds. There’s a knot in your stomach and your hands are clammy and you feel light headed — it must be obvious because Rick leans forward and you flinch. 

“Hey,” he says softly to you. You hesitantly turn away from Daryl to face him and you feel strangely calm. Safe. Not afraid like you should be; not on edge, ready to run at any given second.  Though you can’t help but throw fleeting glances over your shoulders at Daryl as he shifts, still too naive to relax “You’re alright, Y/N. You’re okay.”

You’re okay. You’re okay. Are you really okay? You want to believe him — you want to believe it so, so badly. But you’re doubtful. You’re certain that your dream is about to take a nasty turn, just like they always did. But this one felt fine. Were you really okay? 

You swallow hard, eyeing him cautiously before dropping the question that’s been on your mind. “Daryl?”

“He’s okay, too.”

He’s okay, too. 

Your voice breaks weakly. “Really?”

He chuckles, obviously having bared witness to your nightmares as well, very aware of your skepticism in believing him. But those words, they don’t even make sense when you first hear them. You were so sure, so convinced that Daryl was gone. You’d seen him die. More than once. And yet... here he was, slowly coming out of slumber by your side, living and breathing and alive. 

“He found ya downstream, soaked to the bone n’ hallucinating and...” he continues before trailing off and you blink at him stupidly, not comprehending that there was a reason for the nightmares and hallucinations that you’d experienced. But still, they’d felt so real... they still do. “Hypothermia gives ya... fever dreams, or somethin’ like that.” Hypothermia. You rack your brain for the last thing you really, truly remember that you can decipher from the visions in your mind, so distinctively real and hard to distinguish from reality. Rick notices the wheels turning inside your brain and offers more insight. 

“Said he saw ya tackle some walkers and y’all fell right into the river. Then ya just... disappeared.” His face was somber now and your guts churned at the thought. While you were literally held prisoner in the depths of your unconscious  Daryl was wide awake, probably in excruciating pain, and he probably thought he had just witnessed you die, too. God, you know how awful and debilitating those thoughts had been for you. You wonder if he’d felt the same way — you sure hoped not. You’d never wish that horror upon your worst enemy. 

“He’d ran into some people — bad people. Ended up in a shootin’ match, and one of ‘em rammed into him, threw him off his bike over the edge or somethin’. Got stabbed with one of his own arrows.”

You cringe. Well, that would explain the vague memories you  have of him laying motionless in the creek bed. So far, all of your recollections of that scenario are real. Now you’re just having a hard time pinpointing exactly where it all went wrong. 

“You saved his life, tacklin’ those walkers before they got him. He was still all disoriented. They woulda got ‘em had you not been there.” 

Your throat aches with the pressure of sobs you want to release but you’re not sure why so you fight them. 

This whole time you’d been convinced that you’d killed him — that his demise had been on you entirely.... but in reality, it was the opposite? You wouldn’t believe it. 

“He went after ya — best he could, ya know, with the arrow ‘n all....” He tries to add on lightheartedly and you throw him a tight smile just to humor him, your mind still reeling with the pieces of the puzzle you’re trying to put together. “Found ya about half a mile down the river talkin’ to yourself.” 

Your cheeks redden but it makes sense. 

“Tried to drag ya home best he could, but when you didn’t come back, we all went out searchin’ for the two of ya.” 

So, that’s that. 

How simple and justifiable it had all truly been that whole time. You can’t help but feel stupid, embarrassed, as if you could’ve controlled any of those hallucinations. You were in such a bad state of mind when you’d set out to search for him that day that it was so easy for your unconscious to draw up and use your greatest fears against you. It made sense. It all made sense and it was such a relief that you genuinely smiled to yourself. 

“You’ve been out for a few days now. Fever finally broke.” You look back over at Rick and he motions behind you with a nod of his head, a small smirk returning to his face. “He’s been waiting for ya.”

So you turn back to Daryl who stirs once more as he wakes up, blinking the fogginess if sleep away lazily and pushing himself upright. You don’t mean to jump but you’re so instinctively afraid that he’s going to bite you again and please, please make it stop. Just make it stop. 

No. Rick just explained it all in detail, every last part of it, answering every question you’d had. Daryl is fine. 

In fact, his eyes are the brightest shade of blue you’ve ever seen. They find yours and you freeze, holding your breath in anticipation. Rubbing his face in his hands with exhaustion, he shakes his head in disbelief. “Christ,” he finally mutters, his tone coming out normal and familiar — not as snarls and growls and gurgles. But when he notices how a scared you look, how skeptical you are that he’s even real, his look softens. And you’d be lying if you didn’t feel every single worry and fear and every ounce of immeasurable full you felt dissipate into thin air. 

Those fucking eyes. 

Now it’s your turn to your stare at him incredulously. 

He looks down and you see his features become painted pink and you smile. “Y/N, I...” He stops when you reach out delicately, your fingers gently brushing the stubble along his chin, basking in the feeling of him; how real he was, how warm he was. 

Could it really be? There was no fucking way. 

You’d watched him die right in front of you  so many times, each one burning the horrific image into your brain, sure to give you terrible nightmares and flashbacks for a long time to come but that was something you were willing to deal with if he was really here with you. 

Was he really here with you? He looks just as distraught as you feel; though somehow just as relieved as you are, too. 

“Y/N, you… I thought...” he looks away as he searches for the words but you can hardly hear them, focusing on his vivid features that were right in front of you. He was more beautiful than you’d ever thought he could be. “I heard ya scream and... and when ya fell into the river ‘n I couldn’t find ya, I was so sure...”

His eyes are glistening with tears and you have this hurricane of emotions inside you only feeling him against you can subdue. “Daryl?” Sounding much quieter, much less courageous than you intended, you had to physically force that name out of your mouth. It had only left you in screams and cries lately, but now it tasted so nice and you had to say it again just to make sure it was actually him. “Daryl.” You swallow down a sob you can feel choking you. “Daryl? Oh, my god, Daryl...” you draw in a ragged breath in attempt to collect yourself but fail miserably. “Daryl, you.... you’re...”

The tears start — but these ones are far different from the ones you were so used to. The tears of fear and guilt and devastating heartbreak. These were tears of utter disbelief and pure joy. 

These tears didn’t hurt to cry.

There was just no way. 

Daryl shushed you, leaning forward and wrapping a comforting arm around you but you don’t miss the way that he winces at the movement. “S’alright, I’m ‘ere.” Your eyes trail down his broad chest, covered with a thin grey t-shirt that accentuated the textures underneath it over his ribs, a thick bandage covering something up and hiding it away. Not a bite, you tell yourself. It can’t be a bite. Right? They told you he was fine. Unless this dream was about to take a turn for the worse — far more brutal than the others, it waited in the corners of your mind, waiting for the moment to jump out and send you whirling into a panic. “Look at me.”

You willingly obey, eyes still welled with tears unable to be stopped, trying to swallow back the deep irrational fears that keep threatening to rear their ugly heads. While that was all so lucid there’s something different about this time that has you so assured. So confident and almost excited. 

You’re at a loss for words, in every sense of the phrase. Was it really all just a dream and were you finally awake, like some bad ending in a cheesy movie? What in the hell had happened? You were confused. Had it really been just days? It felt like a couple hours had passed from when you were trudging through the snow in search of him.  

Daryl is very much real and very much alive. You choke out another sob, covering your mouth in disbelief. Daryl is here, living and breathing. He simply stares at you, drinking in your appearance now that you’ve finally woken up and come back to him. 

The mutual feelings of devastation and loss had taken a toll on both of you. But it made the relief you were both feeling that much sweeter  

Taking a chance and deciding you truly have nothing left to lose, you grab onto his head and pull him toward you with a passionate, needy kiss. 

After a few seconds he pulls away and looks at you slightly confused, cheeks rosy. You fucking giggle, giddy like a child, still unfathomably relieved and overjoyed and you pull him back in for another kiss. 

This one he accepts much more willingly and melts into you, his hand reaching out to cup the side of your voice and the jolts of energy it sends through your nerves are painful anymore. They’re amazing; the most wonderful sensation you could ever imagine. 

Pulling back, you take another second just to look at him. You desperately want to replace every faux memory you have of him now with these ones — the feeling of his rough hands holding your cheek as he hovers so close to you you can feel his breath ghosting your lips. He’s unsure of himself now, unsure of what to do next. So you reach out to him and brush your thumb gently over his swollen eye. Though dark and painful and vicious, it’s still real. Those deep, icy blue eyes you’ve lost yourself in countless times — they’re real. He’s real. 

Finally you gather up the courage and ability to speak again, but all you can manage to muster out is “You’re alive.”

 You’re not even mad when he starts to lecture you. “I could say the same to you, girl. The hell’s the matter with ya, leaving here by yourself lookin’ for me? Ya could’ve gotten yourself killed.”

He truly didn’t know that you had died a hundred times to save him. 

That you had walked through a hundred hells to find him, to make sure he was okay. 

That you had lived through a hundred lifetimes for him.

But you didn’t care. He was okay. So you’d do it all over again if you had to.

Alright you caught me I’m a sucker for happy endings 

Thanks for reading!

@crossbowking @jodiereedus22 @apossiblegentleman @mtngirlforever @sourwolf-sterek32 @winchester-angel @cococruzzmayanns @qrangr @cole-winchester @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @twdeadfanfic @crazyaboutnorman @deliciousassafrasssandwich @bunnymother93 @96ssi @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @ima-mther-fckn-starboy @thatsoragan @lonewolf471

[deputy-ripley-adams-blog]

You never learn honey

Jacob Seed/Female Deputy

My page is above! If anyone has any prompts let me know!

"How long do you honestly think you can keep this up deputy? You're tired. Hungry. Weak. You'll come out soon enough,"

Your heart hammers in your chest as you press your back against the rough bark of the tree, you press back against it as hard as you can to hide your frame from view. Jacob had been chasing you for miles and with good reason, only a few hours ago you had escaped the confinement of the cage you were locked in, after nabbing a key from a passing guard and running as fast as you could when the time was right. That enough was to piss him off, but you had to take it a step further and that's why in the time you were given you managed to release most prisoners from the cages around you and blow up a nearby wolf beacon on your way out. That could have pushed him to the limit, but then again you had been completing such tasks like that for the last few months in regards to the resistance - what must have provoked him to chase you was when as you lingered near the gates to look back at him and you thought it would be funny to flip him the bird with your tongue out as with the other hand you threw a rock that smashed into the window next to him after you miscalculated your aim. That's what caused him to start running after you.

So here you were with sweat clinging to your skin and heart in your throat as you tried to stifle the loud pants coming from you, he had been chasing you non-stop - sometimes in silence but when he had gotten too close for comfort he had shouted retorts at you. The last time he had been close to you was over an hour ago when he had almost grabbed you, he would have if you hadn't of thrown the bunch of rocks in your hand in his direction, you were sure none had hit him but he had let you go nonetheless. He had released you with a curse and a snarl as he had struck to grab you again, in which you sent an elbow into his chest and ran as fast as you can. The tree behind you was the only thing keeping you up as your legs shook with fatigue, your jeans were in tatters from the countless branches and bushes you had run past and through, a particular cut on your thigh had stained the fabric in that area an angry red as it bled profusely. There were a number of smaller cuts on your arms and chest region which stung like a bitch, this was no fault of your own - when you had been shoved into the cage in the first place they had taken your thick jacket from you as a precaution of concealed weapons after the last time you had managed to hide a small blade that you had used to escape last time. This time they had left you in your cheeseburger vest, the grey around the neckline was drenched in sweat and blood - soon tears - you felt like crying at any minute.

"When was the last time you ate deputy? Last time you drank? Been in that cage a while haven't you? Bet you're fucking dying for a drink, especially now - we've been running a while haven't we deputy? Bet you need a drink more than anything,"

Your teeth grit together as he speaks, not just because you hate the guy but because more than anything he's right. Sure they'd starved you, but at least they fed you that mushed up shit, you had an idea of what it was but you let it stray to the back of your mind to cry about later when you thought about how you hadn't eaten for six days. They provided you with water less than that, which is why the aftermath of being deprived from a drink was starting to take its toll. Jacob knew this - he knew you'd take a glass of water over a bowl of shit any day - which is why when he had come strolling past your cage he had always taken a water flask with it. In which he slowly lifted the cap off and drank even slower, he let the water drip from the opening onto his shirt and jacket and all you could do was scowl when he grinned at you with sharp teeth.

"How long do you think you can keep this up? Bet you're leg are shaking huh? You tired honey? That why you've stopped running? You don't honestly think hiding is going to do you any good? I'll check every fucking tree if I have to deputy,"

You curse softly under your breath, you have no weapons and with a quick sweep of the vicinity you see that there isn't anything that could possibly do any damage, there's a few branches on the ground that seem big enough but you've seen Jacob take a pipe to the back and still stay standing, stay standing long enough to use that same pipe to beat the attacker to death, so the branch idea was out of the window.

"Honey - it's best if you just come out. You're defenceless and weak, running away from your purpose is what the weak do, it's what cowards do,"

You can hear the occasional brush of leaves as he walks along the forest floor, still some distance away from what you could hear so as you reply you quickly tuck yourself behind another tree before he can spot you.

"You're the coward here Jacob - getting me and others to do your dirty work for you - you scared of looking for the Wolf's Den yourself? Too much of a coward to find Eli on your own? Too weak?"

His footsteps stop for a second as you picture him swivelling around to face your direction, your breath catches as he slowly begins walking in your direction.

"So you do speak? I'm no coward deputy - I do what I have to do  to survive, you are a tool. You're meant to be used. Your purpose is to work for me, to fight for me and to die for me and soon enough that's all you'll know,"

Moving to the next tree you struggle to calm your breathing as you reply, "You're a coward and you know it, you use me because you know if you don't control me I'll be the one to fucking kill you,"

"Hmm that is true, but honey without me you'll be lost forever, you need me - only me,"

A snap of a branch startles you as you realise that he's a lot closer than you had originally thought, he was perhaps only a few trees away from your own location so you decided staying silent was the only chance you had left going for you.

"You're quiet," he hums as his steps become silent and you panic as you realise you can no longer determine where he is, "You know honey if I really wanted to I could have had you right now - fuck - I could have had you hours ago at the fucking gates, one twist of that music box and you'd be crawling back to me. But  I'm giving you a chance, letting you roam free for a bit - this is a test sweetheart and you're failing,"

Pressing yourself further into the tree, you hold your breath as you try and listen for any sort of noise to give you an indication to where he's gone.

"I mean honey you must take me for some sort of fucking idiot,"

Your breath catches as you turn your head to your right and your stomach clenches as you meet Jacob's line of sight.

"Did you really think you could escape?"

You see the glint of metal and without thinking you fling your whole body at him, Jacob laughs viciously as you crash into him, the knife in his hand falls to the ground. The air is knocked out of you when Jacob intercepts your attack and grabs you by your neck throwing you to the floor hard.

"Oh honey - you disappoint me,"

Jacob stands over you, still wearing the same camo jacket and dirty jeans as always, his shirt is stained with sweat and dirt and he too has small nicks on his skin from the thorned branches. He's panting slightly too, his chest heaving under his breaths as he points a finger at you - he must of not had time to grab any more weapons as he is missing his trademark sniper rifle and the gun in his usual thigh holster is missing. You lunge for the knife on the ground and he is quick to kick it away, his foot then comes crashing down on your abdomen to keep you in place.

"And you keep disappointing me further, don't you?"

Jacob grins down at you as you watch him from your position on the ground, the weight on your chest is uncomfortable and he knows this as he occasionally presses harder with the heel of his boot, you cringe under the pressure but don't give him the satisfaction of showing any signs of pain.

"You have to keep testing me don't you? Keep trying to prove yourself? What would you have done if you escaped? Played hero a bit more? Got down on your knees for Palmer? To what - prove yourself to your fucking resistance? You never learn do you honey?"

You grin with teeth bared as you look up at him, "You're right - I never learn Jacob,"

With that you jab the rock in your palm into his leg hard, with a cry of surprise the weight of his leg lifts and as quick as you can you grab him by the ankle and throw yourself at him again. You can't lie to yourself, you took immense satisfaction at seeing Jacob crash into the ground and more when you snatch the knife from the ground and put it at his neck as you straddle him. He lets out an amused chuckle when you reach into his pocket and grab the music box, tossing it away as far as you can as you press the blade further into his throat.

"Maybe I was wrong maybe you can learn,"

Your legs straddle his hips, his arms are free but with the knife at his throat he won't be taking any chances you hope, your own arms are shaking - from exhaustion or from the gaze that Jacob has cast upon you - you can't tell which has caused it.

"But what now honey? You going to finally put an end to all of this? Come on then deputy do it,"

Jacob looks at you with steely eyes and a snarl on his face, he even goes as far as to lift his arms up and place them by his head - completely offering himself to you. You press the blade harder into his neck and watch as a small trickle of blood travels from his wound down to his neckline, but you don't press any further.

"Come on now - this is your chance - your sacrifice - do it deputy,"

The weapon shakes in your grasp, his eyes are dark and fixated on you and you can't do it, you try pressing harder but you can't make the final move to end his life. So you toss the blade away.

"I can't do it,"

Jacob doesn't look too surprised by this and chuckles under his breath, "I know kitten,"

You aren't quick enough to stop Jacob from lunging forward and pressing his fingers into the wound of your thigh, the pain is instant and you shriek loudly. In mere moments, you were back on your back but this time Jacob was straddling your waist, and he wasn't taking any chances when he grabbed your hands and placed them over your head in a tight grasp.

"Which is why I was right you'll never fucking learn,"

You seethe under his grip and immediately start writhing underneath him, he chuckles darkly and grips you harder, "Been watching for a while - saw your leg was hurt and used it against you - should be more careful kitten,"

"Fuck you!"

Jacob tuts at your response and presses his weight harder into your hips, you can't stifle the grimace on your face and you snarl at him, "So what are you gonna do? Use your fucking magic box and take me back to your fucking shit hole of a base,"

"That depends all on you doesn't it - you going to behave for me?"

"Go fuck yourself,"

"There's my answer,"

You panic when you watch Jacob's gaze fall onto the fallen music box and with a warning glance in your direction he leans towards where it is, with your hands slightly free you stress as you see no viable weapon in sight. Soon Jacob will be controlling your ass and you'll be back in the shit heap of a cage so you know you need to act quickly, which is why you reach up and wrap your arms around Jacob's neck. He lets out a bark of surprise at your actions but that is silenced when you clamp your mouth onto his.

Never in your existence did you think that you would end up kissing Jacob? That was a small lie on your part, you had thought about it in the company of Adelaide, she often brought up the Seeds in a game of 'fuck, marry or kill' and Jacob had been your choice for all three every time. His lips are stiff against your own and his whole body is completely tense as you press your lips harder. His hands don't move and neither do yours when you remove yourself from him. You almost shrivel in on yourself at the glare Jacob sends your way, his nostrils flare slightly and his chest heaves as your arms start to slowly loosen under his gaze. But. you watch as his eyes go from your own back to your lips so you don't fully remove yourself from him yet.

"What are you playing at deputy?"

"Can't a gal kiss a guy every once in a while?"

"Deputy -"

"You gonna kiss me back-or are you that much of a coward Not gonna grant a girl's last wish before she's starved for the next five fucking we -"

Jacob probably doesn't like his own words used against him or the fact that you run your mouth, which is why he uses his hands to grab you and drive you back into him, your teeth clack at the impact and you shout as he presses into you. His lips are quick and hard against your own, his kissing is more of a mixture of biting and panting as he uses his right hand to wrap in your hair and bring you closer. The pull stings your scalp but you can't protest when he uses his other to clamp onto your back and lift you up, Jacob rests on his knees and pulls you to sit across them. Your own legs shake as they straddle his thighs, his hands are hot and rough on your skin - you gasp into his mouth when the hand on his back lifts under your vest and digs into the skin on your spine. His teeth bite into your lower lip and he sucks hard when he draws blood, the hand in your hair delivers the occasional tug that makes you gasp every time as each tug grows harder and harder. His other hand darts up your skin and traces the clasp of your bra, you can see the question in his eyes and you almost laugh at that. Only moments ago you were going to kill him and he was going to send your ass back to that god damn veteran centre, this distracting was only meant to put him off guard until you could escape but at this point you couldn't bring yourself to try. It had been a while since you'd been with anyone and Jacob was very much here and very much into what was occurring, and judging by how hard he was kissing you and how tight his grip was on you he was feeling the same way.

You grin as he uses one hand to unclasp your bra and before he can remove your vest you push back from him, you tear your vest off and your hands linger as you slowly peel away your bra, Jacob's eyes stay fixated on your skin and he groans when you finally remove it. Your own hands move towards your breasts to palm them softly as you watch Jacob staring at you, he smirks at your display but you see how his hands twitch as he tries to prevent his true intentions.

"You going to put on a show for me kitten?"

"Wasn't planning on it? I save the shows for your baby brother,"

The smirk is wiped off Jacob's face and within seconds he's flipped you onto your stomach and has your hands in his grip once again, the friction against your nipples stings as you're shoved into the forest floor. Twigs and leaves itch at your skin and you growl as you're pressed in further as you try and lift yourself, Jacob's hands are tight on your wrists and you gasp when you feel his lips on your ear.

"You think you're funny don't you? That's why I'm going to teach you a lesson and you're going to beg for it,"

Jacob's right hand drags down your stomach and grabs at the zip of your jeans where he pulls tantalizingly slow, with the small amount of he has he pulls them down as far as they'll go and without warning he plunges his hand into your underwear. You can't stop the shout that escapes you as he simply uses the palm of his hand to rub against your sex, he moves slow and steady as he shifts his hand in time with his own movements and before long you're moaning softly under his touch.

"Look at you, I'm not even touching you fully - not even in fucking side you and you're rutting against my hand like some bitch in heat,"

You flush under his words, you feel shameful and embarrassed but the callouses of his hands rub you in just the right place as he shifts his hand so it can bump against your clit.

"A fucking moaning mess aren't you honey? God - I can imagine how much of mess you'll be if I go further - but I don't think you deserve it,"

Pathetic moans escape your throat as he simply rubs against you, you want nothing more than to have him put a finger inside you but knowing Jacob he'll make you beg for it, which you won't.

"As much as I want you to cum in my hand I've got a better place for you to do that,"

Jacob pulls his hand away from within your underwear and you feel his gaze on your back as he appraises you, when you hear the zipper of his own jeans you realise much to your hesitation that he's keeping your pants on.

"You don't deserve any preparation sweetheart. I'm going to give it you the way you deserve it and that's hard and painful, and it's with you screaming my fucking name,"

Your breath freezes as you feel Jacob push aside your underwear and then something nudges against your opening. Jacob only laughs as he pushes in hard, your writhe in his grip and your hands flex to grab purchase of anything. Your insides feel like they're on fire as you clench hard, Jacob's a lot bigger than men you''ve had before, the pain of his intrusion is immense and you can feel the entirety of him as he pushes to a hilt, the hand on your hip clamps down hard and you know they'll be bruises from where his fingers have dug in.

"You feel that don't you honey? Don't worry - you're going to be feeling a lot more,"

Without warning Jacob immediately starts pistoning into you hard, your whole body is moved in violent thrusts as he pumps into you. The words you wanted to say are wrenched from you as he snaps his hips into your ass, all you can do is let out choked gasps and moans as he fucks you so it hurts. Your gasps became more audible when he shifted his hips so he could drag you along every last inch of him, the pain was slowly ebbing away overcome by a sudden spike of pleasure which increased as his thrusts started to become much deeper.

"God look at you - maybe I was wrong - maybe this is your purpose - to be fucked and bred like a bitch,"

His words only added to the pleasure, the shame you felt was cast aside and immediately forgotten when you felt his hand go from your hip to your clit. His other hand released your wrists so he could grab at your thigh, on purpose he had grabbed the injured one and he pressed the cut hard as he lifted your leg to piston into you harder. The sharp pain and pleasure had your hands twisting into the dirt as you sought purchase, part of you wants to twist around and grab at his shoulders but you knew that if you did that he'd just stop and drag you back to the centre. He'd never let you live it down either. So you just cry into the dirt as he pushes in and out of you. His dog tags are cold against the naked skin of your back and the constant jangle of them barely tones out the erratic breathing coming from the both of you. What doesn't help is that the forest is silent so the obscene noises that you make are amplified, your moans are loud compared to the grunts that Jacob makes but he's loud enough that you can hear the growls in his throat and his curses when he pulls almost out and slams back in, the sounds of skin slapping against skin is clearly heard and if anyone walked by they'd know straight away what was happening or how hard Jacob was fucking you into the dirt 

When his hips slowed you let out a sob, you try and push back into him but he stills your movements with his hand.

"I think I remember telling you that you'd be begging for it, so here's your chance,"

With gritted teeth you struggle to think of words, so all you do is whine and push back again.

"Come on deputy - use your big girl words,"

"Please,"

"Come on that's it- you can do better than that,"

"Please Jacob,"

"Honey I'm ten seconds from walking away and dragging you back with me,"

You sob as you push back again, "Please fuck me - please Jacob - please I need it - please!"

"Knew you had it in you,"

You scream when he pushes back in, hips relentless as he thrusts back inside you and his hand rubs at your clit in vicious circles.

"Almost there honey - come on,"

Jacob tilts his hips and he rubs against just the right spot, with a pinch at your clit and his breath hot against your back you let the coil in your stomach unravel as you cum hard, his name escapes your mouth first as a scream and then into breathless gasps as he thrusts into you still. With some of the energy you have left you thrust back into him and clench as hard as you can with a cry of his name.

"Y/N fuck!"

You freeze at the mention of your real name, as Jacob releases deep inside you, he shakes as he holds you but doesn't remove himself from inside you even when he stills.

"Who told you?"

"Told - me what?"

"My name,"

Jacob chuckles breathlessly as his hands soothe at the red marks on your hips, "I knew since the moment you arrived honey, knew straight away you'd be trouble and god damn was I right about that,"

You let out a small, tired laugh at that.

"It's in my nature,"

When Jacob pulls out of you, you try hard not to cringe as something warm runs down you leg, you don't conceal it well because Jacob laughs at you. Your underwear is ruined and you know running is going to be a bitch, but watching a flushed and blissed out Jacob sort himself out is a joy to see. When you're finally fully dressed, in which Jacob watches you the entire time, you both look at each other almost unsure of what to do now.

"Ten minutes,"

"What?"

"Ten minutes- for you to get the fuck out of here,"

You pull a blank at that and stare at him as if he's lost his mind, "Why?"

"I'd say you've earned a break from the cage - unless you're eager to come back,"

"No no no - no thanks,"

"Then ten minutes deputy," Jacob tosses you a radio from his jacket and you struggle to catch it, " you have anyone to come get you?"

"Yes - the Ryes," you're unsure why you revealed that to him, but considering you're at some sort of mutual understanding you don't feel as threatened, the radio is heavy in your hands and you watch it as if it'll explode, you can never be too sure with this man.

"I see," Jacob grabs the discarded knife and music box, his back pops as he stretches and with a glance in your direction he starts to walk away, "say hi to my brother for me,"

"Does this change anything?"

Jacob freezes at that, "It does, so if you're still stood there in the next five seconds I'm pinning you to the floor for round two - so I'd get moving - unless you want to be fucked in the cage so everyone can see,"

With that you start running back through the forest, you hold the radio tightly in your hands and go to contact Nick to come and get you, Jacob's laughter echoed in your head as you raced through the gaps of the trees, it was time to pay brother John for a visit.

Ahhhhhhhh - I hope you enjoyed!

[nijinsky02-blog]

Tree Rings

TW: mild gore, panic attacks, hypothermia, major character and animal death

Read it on Ao3!

Un-beta'd

-

Lance stumbled pathetically through the snow, his feet, face and hands numb. His shoes had soaked through long ago, the cold wind had blown throw his thin jacket and onto his face. His hands had been shoved in his pockets in an attempt to stay warm but it had been futile. His jeans were soaked up to his knees. And yet he wasn't shivering. He could no longer feel the cold. He was tired and he knew that he needed shelter soon or hypothermia would set in entirely. But he had nowhere to go. In the eyes of his employer he'd deserted. He'd surely be killed for it if he were found. The only reassurance he had currently was the hand gun in his jacket pocket, his only means of defence.

He came out of the forest, looking around himself, whining and trying to decide if he should find some way to stay warm in the forest, or risk the open field ahead of him. He scanned the area, finding sight hard since his eyelashes had small ice crystals coating them. He spotted a small house to his far left, and nearly sobbed in relief. He walked towards it, unsure if he'd make it. He hadn't eaten since the previous day and he'd been running and walking through thick snow since early that morning. He had no idea what time it was but if the sun was telling him anything it was about five in the afternoon. So he wasn't exactly full of energy.

Regardless he made it to the door, collapsing to his knees and knocking on the door as hard as he could with his numb hand. He prayed someone had heard him, and that they wouldn't end up finding his frozen body instead in the morning. His vision swam and darkness crept in, fizzing around the edges of his vision. He felt suddenly queasy as the door opened, and he was out cold, completely limp.

The man who'd opened the door looked down and looked horrified. He gently picked up the boy in front of him, bringing him in and shutting the door. He was horrified by how light and how eerily cold he was. The only hint of life left in his body was his chest slowly rising and falling shallowly.

"Keith!" He yelled loudly, laying the stranger on the couch, worry evident in his face. "Keith!" He yelled again, more urgent now. "Get blankets and firewood ASAP!" He called as the other resident finally answered. The first man went to the fireplace, and coaxed the low flames to burn higher, and hotter.

"What's going on Shiro-" Keith asked confusedly, cut off by his surprise as he saw the body on the couch. "What happened? Is he alive?" He asked urgently.

"I don't know, I found him on the doorstep, I think that was the knocking sound," Shiro said, standing from beside the fire. "He's deathly cold, we gotta help him," he said worriedly, grabbing one of the ice cold hands. His fingertips were turning blue.

"Got it.......he needs to get out of those clothes, they're soaked," Keith said softly, looking at Shiro, who nodded. Both were reluctant to undress an unconscious stranger, but on the other hand he needed to get warmer and fast. The wet clothes were sapping what little warmth he had.

They had wrapped the stranger in many blankets, changing his wet jeans and freezing shirt and jacket for a pair of Keith's sweat pants, and one of Shiro's sweaters. Both garments were loose and too big for him, but it was warm. They had also gotten some tea, which was on standby for when he woke on the stove.

"Wonder where he's from?" Keith asked quietly, watching the motionless figure.

"No idea. I wonder if he's running from something," Shiro replied.

"I hope we aren't harbouring a murderer,"

"Doubt it. He passed out just after I opened the door and he seemed scared," Shiro mused, sipping his own tea as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Wait, I think he's waking up!"

Lance woke to two voices, and feeling much warmer than before. He opened his voice with a hoarse groan, which prompted him to shoot up and start coughing wildly. Tears welled in his eyes as he covered his mouth and panted, catching his breath. He pulled his arm back, confused by the fact that his sleeve was a deep blue and not the green of the jacket he'd been wearing. He looked around to find someone kneeling next to him, holding a mug of something hot, steam rising from it.

"You alright?" The man asked, his white hair pushed back from his face by a pair of glasses. A large scar spanned his face, over the bridge of his nose and he had kind eyes. Lance nodded hesitantly, taking the cup that was offered to him, frowning.

"I'm Takashi Shirogane, just call me Shiro. That's Keith over there," he said, gesturing at another person on the couch. This one had longer black hair, tied up in a ponytail, and a scar trailing up from his jaw onto his cheek. They both looked worried. They let him take a sip of the tea, and waited as he tried to gather his bearings.

"'m Lance," he croaked, his voice extremely rough. They frowned as he winced, talking obviously hurting him.

"Don't worry about talking right now, just rest. You've obviously been through a lot," Shiro said, standing again and going to the kitchen.

Silence hung over the for some time as Lance slowly drank the tea, his throat starting to calm. He took in his surroundings, part of him sad knowing that he would have to leave the warmth and comfort of the home soon.

"We're sorry about your clothes. They were completely soaked, so we needed to change them," Keith said finally, his face red. "We put them in the washing machine, should be done soon,"

"You were out for hours," Shiro added from the kitchen. Lance could smell something cooking and his stomach acted accordingly, growling and making its emptiness known. Lance whimpered and curled around his stomach as the hunger started to hurt. It hurt so violently that Lance felt queasy.

He didn't even notice that Keith had run over and was trying to ask him what was wrong, until he placed a hand on his shoulder. Lance whimpered and willed the pain to pass. It took several minutes but eventually Lance relaxed, his grip on his stomach releasing. Keith and Shiro looked terrified even as Lance waved them off. His stomach growled again, louder this time and they exchanged a look.

"When did you last eat?" Shiro asked, frowning.

"Yesterday," Lance rasped.

Keith and Shiro spent a while convincing Lance to eat, relieved when he finally did. He'd protested, saying he'd leave once his clothes were dry and get out of their hair. He said he didn't want to intrude and take their food. They'd both kept at it until he agreed, after another bout of extreme pain ripped through him, prompting him to finally agree. The warm food was welcomed, and he looked a lot better after he actually ate. After that he was having trouble staying awake, and fell asleep once their cat had settled onto his stomach. They moved Lance into the guest room, pulling blankets over him and letting the cat resettle on his chest, purring and kneading his stomach happily.

The two of them went to their own room and settled into bed, waiting for two very tense minutes before Keith spoke up.

"He's running from something," he blurted, looking at Shiro as he anxiously twisted his wedding band.

"I know. I just wish we knew what," Shiro sighed, frowning at Keith's worried face illuminated by the soft yellow light of their lamp.

"We need to help him,"

"We will baby, we just need to understand what's going on," Shiro soothed, running a hand through Keith's now loose hair. They kept talking, worried for the young man in their guest room. They agreed on a final plan, and finally turned the light off an hour later. Both were anxious about what was going on, and why he'd been in such a hurry. Why hadn't he brought a car? Or food, or even a proper jacket and shoes? Why did he seem so shaken?

They got their answers the following morning, when they'd found a nearly hysterical Lance sobbing in the guest bedroom. The cat had been practically screaming at them and pacing late that morning until Keith followed her. He'd been lead to Lance, curled up under the bed and hyperventilating. Their cat plopped herself beside Lance, licking his face gently, knowing how to comfort him since she'd learned from Shiro's own panic attacks. Keith called for Shiro, waiting for a response before sliding under the bed as well, foot outstretched so Shiro would see it. He coaxed Lance out, used to calming Shiro down from panicking as well. It took ten minutes before he slid back out, Lance held in his arms. Shiro was quick to pick Lance up, and gently set him on the bed, helping Keith up.

They situated themselves on either side of Lance, who was now breathing properly again, but still visibly shaking.

"Lance what happened?" Shiro crooned. They both asked a couple questions before Lance calmed enough to answer them.

"I had a dream.......they found me, and you guys, I need to go before they find me," he sobbed, tears long dried up but clearly still terrified.

"You're alright, we're fine," Shiro said softly, rubbing his back gently as Lance nodded.

"Who's they?" Keith asked softly, moving so Lance was looking him in the eye. There was a long pause before they got an answer.

"The Galra," he whispered. "They're a gang, I used to work for them and I.....I just can't do it anymore," he whimpered. Keith and Shiro shared a look. They'd used to work for them together, and had escaped together. They knew all too well the horrors Lance had likely encountered, but neither could fathom trying to survive and escape alone.

"I'm sorry, I know it's terrible. I had no choice. My family was starving. I had to," he said, tears running down his face again. They rushed to comfort him, reassuring him that they understood. Keith was the first to pull up his sleeve, revealing the Galran symbol tattooed on his bicep.

"Trust me, we get it," he said, as Lance looked up, hope in his eyes. Shiro pulled the collar of his shirt down, revealing the same insignia on the right side of his chest.

"We were like you once," Shiro added.

There had been a lot more tears from all three as they spent hours sharing stories, and by the time they were done Lance had relaxed a lot, and become more talkative. They suggested he stay while they were hot on his trail, and after a long debate he agreed to think on it.

Lance never officially agreed to live with them permanently until three years later. They'd grown close and Shiro and Keith had both fallen hard for Lance, especially once he'd started to open up and become more of who they figured he was before the Galra. He balanced them all out perfectly, and they were happy. They could forget their jaded past, and just be. Lance eventually got a job, needing the time outside the house. He worked as a cashier and baker in the small family owned bakery in the village an hour away, while Shiro ghost wrote and Keith did art.

On one winter evening, three years since the night Lance had stumbled onto their doorstep, Keith and Shiro took Lance to dinner in town, nothing fancy. It was just the pizza place Lance liked, a family restaurant. Except they knew it wouldn't just be regular dinner.

While law dictated that Lance couldn't legally be their husband, they wanted him to at least have the title. They proposed to him and he had said yes immediately, crying and hugging them both tightly.

They had him written into their will, and property deed, and dealt with every other legal facet until he was as close to being their husband as possible without actually being their husband. The only ceremony they had was popping open a bottle of champagne, and binge watching Disney movies before going to bed, and spending the night together. And for them it was perfect.

Lance had been at work when it happened, blissfully unaware. He'd come home to a door open, and their house trashed. He'd run inside, phone already out and ready to call emergency services. His first thought was to grab the small pistol he knew they kept in the shoe closet, before calling for his husbands. There was no answer.

He checked the guest bedroom on his way to their room, seeing nothing but a trashed room. He kept walking, on edge as he kept calling out for Shiro and Keith. The door to their bedroom was ajar, and when he pushed it open the scene in front of him was horrifying. It was disgusting and straight out of his worst nightmare.

Shiro and Keith in bed, still. Their chests didn't move, they didn't smile up at him as he came in. There were gunshot wounds in their heads, and beside the bed was a furry, unmoving heap with blood staining the floor around it. Much like the bed was bathed in blood from Shiro and Keith. They were pale and cold, a horrifying image that erased itself from Lance's mind as soon as he left the room. His mind blocked out the goriest details, trying desperately to protect himself from the image and failing. He called emergency services, surprisingly calm. The paramedics came to confirm the death, as police investigated. The paramedics checked on Lance as well, finding that he was in complete shock. He hadn't registered they were gone yet, even asking the paramedics if they'd be okay.

His employers were contacted and he stayed with them, since he'd basically become family, while the police investigated and eventually cleaned up the crime scene. It only sunk in for Lance when he went back to the house, one wedding band on his hand, and two around his neck on a small necklace chain. He came back and the house was empty. He went to the main bedroom and frowned at the heavy smell of bleach, before seeing the bloodstains on the bare mattress.

He broke. He couldn't take it. He clutched the rings around his throat and sobbed. He crawled under the bed in the guest bedroom, panicking and sobbing for well over three hours. He was alone. It was his fault. He'd done this. He caused this. They had been happier and safer without him. He should've left. They'd still be alive if he was. All of a sudden every single gory detail came back to him, and he couldn't take it.

He got up and walked out of the room. He went into their shared room and grabbing several garments that still smelled like their respective colognes and bundled up. It was winter again, and he was running away once more. Five years after stumbling onto the doorstep he now stood on, bundled in clothes that weren't his own, rings around his neck on a delicate chain. He walked out in the direction he had once come from, the direction he had come in after first spotting the house.

The bakery owners had sent out as many missing person fliers as possible, had pasted Lance's face across town and the city next door. The police had gotten involved but nobody could find Lance. They gave up, after a state wide search had been conducted. No body was found, no living person fitting Lance's description was found, only a single golden ring, and two more on a necklace chain on a tree stump. He was pronounced dead, and given up on, though nobody ever found out for sure what happened. Whether he met an early grave or suffered with the knowledge that he had cause his husbands deaths.

[catsundercherryblossoms]

|Chapter  8: Belly of the Beast| Her Forgotten Past //Attack on Titan fanfic//

Rewind: 5 hours earlier

Hot. Boiling.

When I dropped into the Titan's stomach, I was submerged in a pool of boiling fluid. Every inch of my body burned. I clawed my way up, half swimming and half desperate flailing, until my head broke the surface and I was allowed to breathe again. What I breathed in could barely be called air. It felt like I was inhaling fire, shriveling my lungs and every other intestine in my body.

Blood. The boiling fluid in which I struggled to stay above was blood. I realized with ultimate horror that I was drenched in its sticky, crimson color. It coated my hair, it hung on my eyelashes, it was up my nostrils and worst of all, it was in my mouth.

A wave of nausea hit me.

And it only got worse once I noticed all the dead bodies floating around me.

I lost it. I fucking lost it.

My screams echoed off the walls of the Titan's stomach so loudly that it stirred little waves in the blood. I tried backing away but that only resulted in me bumping into more floating cadavers, lifeless with their mouths soundlessly open, the whites of their eyes peeking out. It was unclear whether I was crying blood or tears. There was no telling them apart when they rolled off my chin and dripped down.

This can't be happening... I just want to get out. Get me out of here, please.

Splash! Something broke the surface next to me. I didn't register it properly, assuming it was a dead body come to life, and I just kept screaming my head off. I tried slapping it away hysterically as it continued to get ahold of me.

"Johanna! Eurgh, stop! Johanna, it's me!"

It was no dead body. It was Eren. He blocked all my hits with one arm. One arm? I started to calm down, recognizing those startling green eyes even under the blood painting his face, and then I looked at his... well, the remnants of his left shoulder.

"Oh my god," I said weakly, "Eren... Your-"

"It hardly matters right now." He said grimly and looked around. "This is hell."

The thick, heavy air was becoming a little too much for me. It fogged up my senses and darkened my vision. My arms grew tired, unable to keep me afloat, and I began sinking.

"No!" Eren scooped me up in his one arm. "Johanna, please, you can't die first. Please, I can't watch you die like this."

What was going on? Everything was spinning. I could feel my cheek pressed against his uniform jacket as he held me close, probably scared that I might sink.

I focused on the life still abounding in Eren's eyes, knowing that life would soon leave mine. "You know," I said, barely above a whisper, "I always admired your determination..."

"No... please..." he pleaded tearfully.

My breaths were ragged. My strength was fading. I closed both eyes, unable to resist it any longer, and allowed myself to be enclosed in darkness.

But I could still hear Eren's choked voice... distant as if he were miles away, but present.

"Why... why do they take everything from us?" His hold on me tightened and he pulled me even closer against his chest. "Our lives... Our dreams... gone because of them. Damn it! Damn it all!" He growled and I could feel the reverb against his shirt, the sound coming deep within his core. It was wrathful to the point of primal. "I won't give up. I swear on God, I'll eliminate all of them! Every single Titan, with my bare hands!"

BOOM!

There was a deafening and sickening noise- like tearing flesh. Eren's hold on me disappeared. What was happening? Before I could even process the situation, my body landed on solid ground. The street, specifically. A wave of blood came down on me, like a broken dam releasing its flood, and I was soaked once again. I gasped for breath. 

Tall. Not just tall- giant. Fifteen meters of skin, muscle, and terror.

Somehow, I had encountered a completely different Titan from the one I had been trapped in seconds ago. It let out a monstrous roar, and ever so slowly, it's large head turned to look down at me.

I felt like a fragile shard of glass waiting to be stepped on.

The Titan's eyes bore into me, and I stared straight back. As bizarre as it seems, something clicked. It just clicked. That emerald gaze... why was it so familiar?

The Titan stretched out its hand, inching closer and closer to my tiny shape. I could not move, nor did I have the motivation. After all that's happened... dying didn't sound so bad.

The Titan picked me up on the palm of its hand, bringing me towards its mouth. I didn't even scream. I didn't even fight it. I simply accepted the situation as he opened his wide set of teeth. What caught my attention was how he placed me on his tongue. Deliberately. Almost like the beast was scared of eating me. Surely, my suspicions were ridiculous. Every titan's natural intention is to devour humans. It's what they do best.

But no. There was something different about this one.

He carefully closed his mouth and I was enshrouded in darkness. I could feel the whole side of my body turn slick with saliva. By now I was just waiting for the moment when he would tilt his head back and swallow me entirely. I was ready to welcome my demise.

But it never came.

Rumbling shudders and footsteps. We were walking. It appeared the beast had no plans on eating me, but instead preserving me. Weird.

Eventually, my body gave out due to exhaustion. I blacked out.

Fast Forward: Present time

"Annie, is she breathing?"

"Open the door!"

"This isn't real, this isn't real..."

Scuffling. Shouts. Threats.

"Dammit, she's not breathing! Does anyone know CPR?"

"There he is! Kill him!"

"Where are they taking Eren?"

"You're going to be okay. I promise. Dadda promises."

"Breathe!"

Air filled my lungs and I opened my eyes. The air no longer burned and instead it cooled my flaming insides. In, and out. In, and out. Inhale, exhale.

The blankness my mind had obtained in sleep started to become tainted. The past events came back to me slowly. Like paint trickling onto an empty canvas.

Bodies. Blood. Bodies. Blood. All around- everywhere- death.

I sat up, involuntarily screaming, as the horrible memories clouded my thinking. My whole body trembled. But not from cold.

"Jo! Easy, easy. I'm right here." Annie rushed to my side.

"Where am I?!" I asked. I was on a medical stretcher, a blanket thrown over me. I still wore my bloody, disgusting uniform except for my jacket and gear. Someone must've taken it off me, and if not, then it was probably lost...

"We're in Wall Rose. We're on stand by right now. No orders have been given." Annie explained. She reached into a crate and pulled out a jug of water. "Here, you're very dehydrated."

"No. Something happened to me, Annie." I ignored her offer and looked around. We were stationed under a tent on the side of the street. Soldiers ambled back and forth, leaning against stacks of supply crates or slumped hopelessly on the floor. It was a very monotone environment. Several heads turned in my direction. The way they stared at me was concerning. I wouldn't have labeled their gazes content to see me alive. No, it was definitely the complete opposite. They were suspicious.

Suspicious of what?

"Annie, people are staring at me." I whispered.

Her blue eyes, usually cold as glaciers, seemed to melt a little. "Jo, what's the last thing you remember?"

"I remember..." I stuttered, "G-Getting eaten... being in the Titan's stomach with Eren, and... something happened- I don't know what, but something happened and then I was out of the stomach. And then another Titan, Annie. Another Titan appeared." I told her shakily. Maybe I sounded insane, but I didn't care at the moment. "It was... different. It helped me."

She nodded. "We know."

I furrowed my brows. "You do?"

"There was this Titan- the same one you're talking about. And it helped us too. It killed all the other titans and assisted us while we took control of HQ." She said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "And... eventually it collapsed. Maybe it was all the damage it had taken, maybe something went wrong and it couldn't regenerate. Who knows? But when it died... Your body fell out of it’s mouth. And Eren..." Annie stopped herself.

I waited, desperate. "What? What about Eren? Please, don't tell me he's-"

"Dead?" She chuckled dryly. "No. It would've made more sense if he was. Eren came out of the weak spot. The nape of the neck. Somehow, he was the Titan."

I tried to take in her words. But she might as well have been talking another language. "What do you mean, he was the Titan?"

"Jo, Eren can turn into a Titan." Annie clarified. "He's one of them."

A pause. I stared back at her, considering her claim. In my mind's eye I was back in the Titan's stomach. The loud explosion, how the stomach had torn from the inside out, and the feeling of lying on the cold cobblestone street, drenched in blood, looking up at that second Titan that had appeared out of nowhere. Except it didn't come from nowhere. The Titan was Eren all along.

And he wasn't trying to eat me when he put me in his mouth. He was trying to keep me safe.

I got up abruptly and started looking around. "I need to talk to him."

"What? No, you need to stay put. You're still too weak!" Annie scolded and she grabbed my arm.

"I'm fine! I need to talk to Eren- just tell me where he is!" I shook her off.

If people were wary at first, they were definitely disapproving now. I must've been making a scene, because even people outside the tent were stopping on the street to watch. Maybe I wasn't thinking straight. Maybe I should listen to Annie and rest.

Fine, I will do that. After I find Eren.

"Get off me, Annie!" I struggled as she twisted both my arms behind me. "He helped me! He can help us too!"

"Help us?" A cadet spoke up. I stopped, recognizing him. He had been throwing up in the courtyard before the battle started. Daz, I think his name was. "You must be out of your mind! You're crazy! He's a monster from hell! The first thing he'll do is devour us, and you're gonna be first in line!"

Rationality was replaced with hostility. I snapped and ripped away from Annie's hold, lunging towards Daz. He let out a girlish scream and I tackled him down. Gasps spread across the tent. My hands fisted his collar and I bared my teeth at him.

"You don't know what you're talking about..." I said, and suddenly I was a whole other person. A person on the brink of insanity. "You weren't there! YOU DIDN'T SEE WHAT I SAW! They were all around me- bodies... and they were burning... and- and-" Suddenly I was bursting into uncontrollable sobs. It was like someone undid the last screw holding me together. I fell apart on the spot.

"Jo!" Another voice spoke up.

A pair of strong arms lifted me off Daz, who quickly scrambled onto his feet and took off. I wanted to fight the person now cradling me, but what was the point anymore?

"Its okay, you're going to be fine." Jean said with a frown, letting me cry into his chest.

“Keep it moving, people. Nothing to see here." Annie shooed away the others.

"You need to take it easy, okay? When we found you, you weren't breathing..." Jean said. His voice sounded exhausted. "It was probably because you stayed inside that Titan's mouth so long. We thought you might've suffocated. Reiner had to do CPR. It's a miracle you're even here..."

He hugged me tighter. My crying soon quelled and there was nothing left to do, nothing left to say. I felt heavy, exhausted, and worn down to the bone. But how would I ever sleep again? Every time I close my eyes, I see the lifeless faces of the fallen soldiers who rotted away in that damned Titan's stomach.

Rest seemed impossible.

BOOM!

The ground shuddered underneath our feet. I gripped Jean tighter. People gasped and screamed. Was that an explosion? From where?

We rushed outside of the tent and checked the street.

"Was that cannon fire?" Bertholdt asked next to me.

"But why just one shot?" Jean said, confused.

"Look! Over there!" A random soldier shouted. He pointed to the sky.

Up ahead, we could see smoke. It appeared to be originating in the town square by the gate.

"Maybe they fired a shell by accident?" someone said behind me.

No. The cannon fire couldn't have been a mistake. The wall Garrison may be comprised of heavy drinkers, but they weren't stupid. Especially in a tense situation like this. They were qualified soldiers and knew how to work the cannons. But more importantly, when it comes to defending, they never missed their target.

That shot was everything but accidental. Something sketchy was happening right under our noses.

I observed the smoke, and furrowing my brows, I realized it wasn't smoke at all. It was undoubtedly steam. Titan steam.

There was a Titan inside the walls.

Except, that's impossible. Wall Rose didn't have a breach. The only way a Titan could get inside is if...

They could fit through the gate. If they were human size.

Of course...

I looked at Jean, alarmed. He returned my look and gulped.

Well... Now we knew where Eren was.

End of Chapter 8

[crazymonkey10]

Bruised Love - {Part 2}

Warnings: cursing, starving, mention of throwing up

Word count: 2,382

Summary: Harry has been avoiding (Y/N) lately making her feel unwanted and lonely, as he pushes her away causing her to keep trying to love him and make him notice her, but only to bring her more ache to the heart.

Note: Thank you guys for being patient with me, I was kind of in a hurry so I didn't get a chance to read over it. So I'm sorry for any mistakes. Other than that I hope you enjoy part 2 :)

Part 1 Part 3

I stared out the window watching the rain cover the yards and roads with water as thunder loudly filled the sky. It’s been hours since I’ve seen Harry from this morning, I wouldn’t even be surprised if he was going to be home late or not coming home at all. My eyes were so dry and puffy from all the tears I shed these past few hours, as weakness filled my whole body, making me feel uneasy as I decided to finally get up. 

Walking towards the bathroom I flicked the light on, quickly scaring myself as I saw myself in the mirror. My whole face was drained, there were bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep while the tear stains covered the swell of my cheeks. The hair on my head was matted up in a bun, too weak to even comb the tangles out.  I always looked like this when ever Harry would leave to god knows where, living his life up, while I stay behind feeling unwanted and hurt.

Before I was able to leave the bathroom, I felt an edgy ache in my stomach to my throat causing me to quickly run to the toilet, releasing all my fluids. A small scream left my lips as I kept dispensing the fluids out my aching stomach. Once I realized I was done spewing out there was tears already falling down my face from the pain.

“I need some coke” I groaned to myself holding my stomach tightly, needing a bubbly substance in my tummy. I didn’t know why I threw up, but it hurt.

I grabbed the towel rack steadily pulling myself up making sure I won’t fall, before slowly walking out to the room and down the stairs. It was so quiet down here the only sounds I could hear was the hard rain pouring outside. Walking into the kitchen I saw it still the same way I had left it, along with his breakfast, untouched and sitting on the counter. Heading towards the fridge, I heard the front door open and slam shut. I peeked over at the time on the microwave to see it was only 6:45. Why is he here early in the day?

*Harry’s POV*

It was only 6:30 when I parked in the driveway of me and (Y/N)’s quiet home. The rain hit heavily as I tried to gather myself together. There has been so much anger and emotions running through me these past few weeks and seeing (Y/N) didn’t make anything better. She was a burden that I needed to get off my shoulders. After my tour I started to push her away trying to get rid of her which she never caught on.

I have spent weeks on avoiding her trying to get her to understand I was trying to leave her, but she just kept coming back. She kept loving me and caring for me as if we was still a good couple. I love her, don't get me wrong, but to be honest I didn’t want to love her. I felt as if I was dragging her into a lifestyle she wasn't ready for. Over the years I would catch her reading hate and then find her somewhere in the house crying to herself. Even paparazzi was treating her badly, pushing her around, calling her names, accusing her of stuff she didn't even do. Same thing with some of the fans. It had gotten so bad to the point where I would see her shamming herself at every little thing she did. (Y/N) is everything to me and watching these things affect her made me feel so awful inside. That's why I have to end things with her and the only way to do that was make her not love me anymore, by simply pushing her aside. And When management said she had to go too, I instantly knew that this was it for us. People were never going to stop at trying to get it to my beautiful (Y/N) or harm our relationship. She deserves so much more than a man who has a difficult lifestyle of being a celebrity. This was something that killed me inside to even think about being apart from her, but I was letting (Y/N) go. Even if I didn’t want to. It’s for her own good. Our own good.

After minutes of calming myself down, which never actually worked, I decided to make a run for it through the rain and up the little steps of our front porch. The house seems quiet as I open the door and closed it walking into an empty house. I took my jacket off, hearing noises coming from the kitchen. I heard my stomach growl letting me know I was hungry since I haven’t eaten anything today.

I heavily sigh preparing myself to walk in the kitchen to see (Y/N) sitting on a stool by the counter sipping her coke. The kitchen was still the same from when I left this morning, the food she had made me was sat on the counter that has  never been messed with. I completely ignored her presence as I walked to the fridge to grab me a beer.

“How was your day?” A soft voice raged into my ears. Hearing her voice was enough to make me not want to go through with this whole avoiding thing, while I grabbed a beer out the fridge closing it. I wasn’t really the kind to drink much but coming home to her, I really needed one.

I ignored her question and closed the fridge door. Before I was able to open my drink, I was taken back when she had gotten up and yanked the beer out my hands and tossing it in the sink causing it to break. I groan in frustration, anger boiling under my skin. She’s not going to make this easy.I decided to just let it go, brushing past her exiting the kitchen to get away from her. Still not looking at her.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” I heard her yell. I stopped in front of the stairs, chewing my lip to stop me from trying to turn around and love her.

“Why are you acting like this? What is your fucking problem, Harry?” She demands. I fully omitted the pain in her tone as the random anger was boiling under my skin, hitting its limits causing me to just let it out, before thinking it through.

“You want to know what my problem is. Well if you haven’t noticed already, it’s you. You’re my fucking problem” I fib, seeing the different emotions run through her face, made my insides tighten.

“Me?” She questioned.  

“Yes! Now just leave me alone” I spat, turning around heading up the steps, hoping she would just drop it..

“No” she said, her voice barely under a whisper. I paused in my tracks in the middle of the stairs and faced her.

“What?” I asked taking a few steps down the stairs.

“No Harry, I will not leave you alone. Because that’s all I’ve ever done. I’ve left you alone so many times but now I can’t anymore, I want some explanations as to why your avoiding me” She stated, tears at the prick of her puffy eyes.

“Fine, I have been avoiding you because I can’t stand being near you. You are so useless. This relationship is pointless. I’m tired of coming home to see your face every day of my life” I spoke. At this point I couldn’t stop, I wanted her to leave me, make it easier for me to let her go. But as soon as I realized she wasn’t moving, it made me feel annoyed.

“Don’t you see, (Y/N)?! YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME!” I falsely roared, she does mean something to me, I just couldn’t let her see that.

“I-I thought y-ou loved me?” She stutters, her tone was so pure full of hurt and confusion as my raging eyes stared into hers.

“Well you thought wrong, I most definitely don’t love someone as pathetic as you are.” The words spitting out my mouth pained me to say. I love her. I love her with everything I had and seeing her face drop after I said that, made my head pound, seeing that’s all it took. All it took for me see her break in front of me. Her eyes relishing the tears, letting them fall to the ground, as she kept her eyes on mine, taking every word, I said in. My breathing was uneven, feeling my body go numb. I didn’t think watching her cry would make me feel so wrong and upset. I knew I was harsh on her, but not so harsh it would affect me to.

“You’re right” I looked at her in confusion trying to understand what she was saying.

“You’re right, Harry. How could someone love a person like me?  a person that cares for their lover, who has been there since day one, or even gave up her life to be with the one she loves. Moved out of her country to start a life with the man she wanted to call husband, just to be kicked to the curb and stabbed in the heart, watching her love one slip away. How can someone love someone like me? Huh? Someone who all she wanted was to be loved, but not even the one she trusted the most could give her that. And for that Harry, I truly hate you.” She cried out, her voice cracking at each word she spoke as tears never stopping to fall from her rosy pale cheeks.

The room hang quiet the tension between us full of sorrow and pain. I did this, I made her break. I was the one she was crying her heart out to and all I did was pushed it away. All I wanted to do was pull her into me, holding her, telling her everything was going to be ok and that I didn’t mean the stuff I said. But I knew I shouldn’t, I wanted her to live a better life with a better person even if it meant her hating me. I stood there taking in her words, watching her breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling repeatedly.

“I hate you Harry” she spat walking towards me snapping me out my thoughts. Before I knew it, she started to hit my chest with her little fists screaming the same words over and over.

“I hate you…I hate you… I hate you… I hate you… I hate you…” each word coming with a punch to my chest causing tears to prick at the corners of my eyes, while glancing down at her watching her let out all her anger on the small tough punches she was bringing to my toned chest. I felt my heart twisting and tightening from the scene of her like this. It pained me to see like this, it really did. I was only doing this to make her life easier without me, not make her upset. The last ‘I hate you’ was quietly fading between her breath as her punches become soft and light slowing coming to a halt.

My eyes grew wide, seeing her eyes fatally close, her breathing slowing down with her body falling backwards. I was quick with my movements to catch her before she hit the hard wood floor making me fall to my knees holding her in my arms. My heart starts to pick up speed, hands clenching at her sides holding her to me as my thoughts race with worry.

“(Y/N)?”

No response.

“(Y/N), come on.”

No response.

My heart was racing by now scared she wasn’t waking up. I was so caught up in my own thoughts and tears I had forgotten how to handle this situation. I put my ear in front of her mouth feeling her breathing hit my earlobe. A sigh of relief escapes my lips relieved she’s still somewhat breathing, but not normally. I started to panic as I tried to shake her again only for her to not wake up.

“Please (Y/N), baby wake up. Please, I’m so sorry please wake up” I cried out, holding her closer. Her skin was hot and clammy, sweat beads running down the sides of her face. She was burning up. I was quick to call an ambulance, desperate for her to be okay, because, God, if she isn’t, I don’t think I could forgive myself for this.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it” I whisper in agony, leaving small pecks of delicate kisses on her forehead.

By the time her eyes started to twitch I heard the ambulance heading down my street. Tucking my arms under her whole body I lift her up and quickly caring her up to the front door opening it. Once I saw the paramedics running out the truck towards me.

“Help her, please” I quietly yell my voice cracking.

The paramedics nod, sliding the stretcher over to me, as I slowly laid her down on it, making sure she was strapped in with the help of the paramedics. I watched as they placed her at the back on the truck, seeing her leave my sight was pain.

“Sir, would you mind coming with us?” A lady asked. I furiously nod my head hoping in the back of the ambulance truck and sit in reach of (Y/N).

She looked so lifeless, causing me to softly grab a hold of her small fragile hand, giving it a squeeze to inform her I was right here. I wasn’t going to leave her side ever. This is all my fault and I’m not letting her go.

This whole time I was worried about what I wanted not what I needed and what I needed was, (Y/N). She’s my whole and without her, I’m nothing.

I just wish everything was back to where it used to be. All the good times we spent together, it meant so much to me and I just messed that up, because I thought I was helping her by pushing myself away from her but only to cause this to happen to her.

@arian5a

[casper-has-a-cat]

WARNING: descriptions of vomit below!

read the warning!

read the warning!

read the warning!

okay, you’ve been warned!  please enjoy the fic!

As soon as he woke up in the wee hours of the morning, Asahi knew he was going to throw up.  He didn’t know the specifics of when, but judging by how positively awful he felt, probably sooner rather than later.  At least, if he was lucky.

He curled on his side and tried not to cry at the sad realization that he’d just categorized vomiting as a fortunate thing.  He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as a painful cramp caused his stomach muscles to clench up and repressed the urge to whimper.

Fortunate or not, he knew he was going to be sick and he needed to get out of here as soon as possible.  He was at a training camp with the volleyball team, and the last thing he wanted was for anyone to wake up to him puking.  He would die of humiliation.  

He was surprised to find that Noya wasn’t curled up at his side, since the libero had a long track record of unconsciously seeking out body heat (in particular, Asahi’s) in the middle of the night.  On one hand Asahi was relieved because it meant that he’d be better able to move around unnoticed, but on the other, a sense of irrational sadness welled up inside him.  Asahi wondered if Noya had found someone else to cuddle with, or if he was off shivering on his own somewhere, and was disturbed to find himself upset by both options.

He shook his head.  He had to take the opportunity to escape for what it was before it was too late.  Quietly as he could, he pushed himself up and and got out of his futon, then tiptoed around the other boys.  None of them even twitched.  Once he was outside, he breathed a sigh of relief; at least here, nobody would be bothered by him.

Asahi didn’t notice that, even though none of his teammates had moved a muscle as he’d left the bedroom, the smallest of them had been curiously missing not only from Asahi’s futon, but from the entire room.

At 1:45 am, Noya was cursing his bladder for being the smallest and most inconvenient bladder in probably the whole world.  At 1:49 am, having emptied it, he found himself speechless and wondering if he was going to be proven wrong already.  If Asahi was leaving the bedroom at 1:49 am, did that mean his bladder was four minute more evil than Noya’s?

The libero was about to ask Asahi as much when the older boy turned the other direction and hurried off.  Noya frowned.  He was curious, and a part of him (a very large part) wanted to follow, but he remembered Asahi saying one time that one of the few perks of being a scary looking person was that you could go on walks all by yourself at night without really having to worry about getting attacked.  He’d thought it was a joke at the time, but now he wondered if he’d misinterpreted it.  Sometimes Asahi’s sense of humor was hard for Noya to follow.

He yawned.  It was too late (or early?) to be overthinking things like this.  They had a scrimmage game tomorrow and Noya knew he wouldn’t do well if he didn’t get another couple hours of sleep.  Anyway, even if he wasn’t as mean as he looked, Noya had no doubt that Asahi could take care of himself.

By the time 4:30 am rolled around, Asahi concluded that he was decisively unfortunate.  For a while, the waves of nausea had been somewhat manageable, but now, over two and a half hours later, there were no more waves.  Instead, the nausea was his constant companion.  He was exhausted, and he hadn’t even done anything but hiccup and burp yet.  He just wanted whatever was making him so sick to be out of his system.

He whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut, leaning back against a tree for support.  His legs felt about to give out any minute.  Suddenly his stomach lurched and he leaned over with a loud heave, more than ready to spew.

Nothing came out.

Noya was naturally an early riser.  He always had been.  That’s why he knew, without a doubt, that Asahi was not.  Asahi was the kind of person who would sleep well into the afternoon if you let him.  So there were only two explanations for his absence at 4:30 am:

He was lost in the woods.

He had been eaten by a bear (one that was, somehow, even bigger than himself)

Both were alarming prospects, though the moderately less alarming first possibility was likely, if only because the chances that Asahi would run into a bear bigger than himself seemed pretty slim.  Either way, Noya was the only one awake to save him, so he got up and went to grab his shoes.  

Just as he finished tying them he heard a loud noise come from outside, but not the direction of the forest.  Since he hadn’t been expecting it, Noya was unable to identify it.  He was conflicted.  On one hand, he really needed to hurry and save Asahi, but on the other, that sounded like…

Noya was about to brush it off as simply being a part of his own overactive imagination, when the sound came again, and this time there was no doubt about it: somebody was retching, right outside of their cabin.  Noya scowled and marched towards the sound.  If it was some hungover alcoholic, he was going to-

Upon swinging the door open loudly, Noya froze in his tracks.  In fact everything froze.  Noya’s movements, his thoughts, and the person attempting to be sick, who, by the way, was not some drunkard.

It was Asahi.

“Ah, uh, uhm,” Asahi was the first to break the silence, mumbling anxiously without really having anything to say.  All he knew was that Karasuno’s libero looked as scared as he’d ever seen him, and it was more than a little disconcerting.  “N-Noya, wh- hunghh,” Asahi groaned, doubling over with yet another empty heave.

When he looked up, Noya was gone.

Asahi was glad.  Or at least, he should’ve been.  He didn’t like scaring anyone, but especially not Noya.  Still, he felt a tug of loneliness in his chest, and an aching sense of abandonment.

“Uhm.”

A small noise caught Asahi off guard, and his head whipped to face its source.

“Noya!”  The boy was suddenly next to him.

“Hey, Asahi,” Noya said quietly, chewing at his lip and playing with the hem of his shirt.  It was unusual for him to be so subdued, but then, he had just witnessed his ace attempting to throw up, so it was safe to say that it was an unusual situation.

“H-Hey, you don’t, uh, have to, you know, stay.  Here.  With me, I mean.  If you don’t want to.”

Noya’s hands stilled and he released his lip from his teeth.  He stared straight at Asahi.  Then, rather than responding to Asahi’s comment, asked a question of his own.

“Have you been out here since 1:49 am?”

“I, uh- wait, what?”  Asahi stifled a burp into the back of his hand.

“I saw you were gone after I had to pee…”  Noya trailed off as Asahi suppressed the urge retch with a moan.  When Asahi looked up, Noya had the sort of look in his eye that he gets when he’s determined to make some sort of impossible receive.  And something in Asahi unconsciously relaxed at that sight.  It was good to see his friend back to normal.

“You know what,” Noya said decisively.  “It doesn’t matter.  Stay here.”

Noya whirled around and sprinted back inside the cabin.  As soon as he was gone, Asahi lurched forward with a long, drawn out heave.  It was eventually cut off by a small burp and Asahi gasped for breath, trying not to whimper at the rawness of his throat.  He squeezed his eyes shut as if it would block out the pain and nausea, but he just ended up worrying that the rest of the team would wake a up and find him like this, and why Noya was awake, and if he was robbing Noya of precious hours of sleep-

The door slammed and Asahi jumped, then immediately started heaving again.

“Ah!  Sorry, Asahi, did I startle you?  Jeez,” Noya scrambled over to the sick boy.  When Asahi could breathe again, Noya offered him a glass of water.

“Noya…”  It was a nice gesture, but Asahi didn’t know if it would help.  He’d just end up regurgitating the water.

“It’ll help,” Noya decided out loud.  “I mean… it can’t hurt, right?”

As the urge to retch again rose within him, Asahi decided that Noya was probably right.  He sipped at the drink tentatively.  It was surprisingly soothing on his throat, and before long, he’d drunk the whole glass.  For a moment, he actually felt better.  Then his insides shifted and the fluid was coming right back up, just as he’d expected.  He doubled over with a forceful heave, and clear liquid splashed into the grass.  A strand of hair fell out of his ponytail, but Noya tied it right back up.

Asahi moved to straighten up again and tell Noya sorry that his plan had failed, but found that he couldn’t, as his stomach muscles clenched tight again.  Back arching, he let out half a burp, and then vomit - the thick, brown, half-digested-food kind - was pouring out of him.  He wheezed, out of air, and gasped for breath, but was stopped halfway by an even larger and more powerful stream of vomit that left him seeing stars.

“Woah,” Noya exclaimed, putting a hand on Asahi’s shoulder as he swayed unsteadily.  “You’re doing great, Asahi, just keep breathing.”

Somehow, he managed to follow Noya’s instructions, even through five more rounds of spewing where barely had enough time to inhale.  By the end of that ordeal, he was so exhausted that he slid to the ground, back still to the tree, almost immediately.

“Hey, Asahi, don’t- don’t sit there!”  Noya tugged on his arm and Asahi obligingly crawled to the other side of the tree.

“Jeez,” Noya mumbled, “do you really want to sit so close to your own puke?”

“I just - hic! - want to - ulp - sleep,” Asahi managed between hiccups and burps.

“Are you sure you’re done?”

Asahi shook his head, but it was too late to aim for the previous spot.  Instead, he released a small burp and a final mouthful of vomit and bile right next to him in the dirt.  He looked up at Noya sheepishly.

“‘m done now.”

Noya just rolled his eyes.

Having finally convinced Asahi that bed was the best place to be, Noya helped him to an empty guest room he’d discovered while exploring the cabin upon their arrival a few days ago.  He tucked him in and gave him a bucket just in case, then stood up to leave, thinking Asahi would want some privacy.

“Are you… leaving?”  A weak and wavering voice, muffled by a mound of blankets, whispered.

“I thought you’d want me to,” Noya said.

“Please… don’t.”

Noya smiled, and snuggled up to Asahi without any hesitation.  A moment later, he felt all of the tension leave Asahi’s body, and he heard the sick boy’s breathing even out.

Noya shook his head.  He couldn’t remember why he ever thought Asahi was capable of taking care of himself.

He smiled, and snuggled in closer.

send me an ask!

[thewritenerd]

Victor and Adam: NaNoWriMo Day 22 & 23

‘You don’t know if you like her?’ Maram suggested. Adam nodded. ‘I’m still new to a lot of things. And there are a lot of things I’m still figuring out.’ Marram looked thoughtful. ‘We need to get to class now. But we’ll talk more at break.’ With that she and Oscar said goodbye to Adam and went off down the hall as Adam made his way up the stairs. ‘Hey Adam.’ Shreya said as she came over to him. ‘So who was that you were talking to?’ ‘Oh just some kids from science.’ Shreya nodded. They didn’t say anything as they made their way to the computer rooms. Adam wanted to say something to her but what? Should he ask about the book? Or would she be upset he hadn’t figured out what it had meant? Shreya stopped just outside her classroom and turned to face Adam. ‘Uh Adam, I was wondering. Do you any chance want to do something together this weekend? There’s going to be a funfair just outside of town. Or if the weathers bad we could just get a drink?’ she cocked her head to one side and looked up at him with a small smile on her face. The thought of spending a day with Shreya did sound nice. But the thought of going into town made him want to be sick. He shook his head. ‘Sorry I don’t really feel like doing that sort of thing. You’ll have to ask someone else.’ Shreya’s smile fell. ‘Oh well never mind.’ She said as she slipped into her class without another word. Unsure what had just happened Adam made his way to his class two doors down. Once inside he spotted Chelsea in their usual spot and took a seat next to it. 

‘So how was Chem?’ Chelsea asked. ‘Fine.’ He said. Chelsea frowned at him. ‘Something happened didn’t it?’ He shrugged. ‘I’m not sure.’ ‘Adam.’ He sighed and explained what had happened in the hallway and what Maram and Oscar had told him. When he was done Chelsea just sat staring at him. Then slowly it began to shake its head at him. ‘You are an idiot.’ Adam frowned. ‘I’m not…’ ‘A girl asks you on a date and your response is ask someone else?’ It was Adam’s turn to shake his head. ‘She didn’t ask me if she wanted to go on a date, just…’ ‘Just go out together just the two of you with no one else?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘While openly flirting as she did so?’ He shrugged, truthfully he hadn’t been entirely sure what she’d been doing had been flirting. Though thinking back maybe it should have been more obvious to him. ‘Well should you really go out with someone if you don’t know if you like them?’ Chelsea looked thoughtful. ‘Well not if you know you don’t. But if you’re not sure sometimes it’s good to give it a go. If it turns out you were wrong you break up. Maybe someone cries about it. Then you both move on. But if you don’t give it a go then you’ll never know.’ ‘I don’t want to make anyone cry.’ ‘No one does. But it may be too late to worry about that.’ Adam looked down at his hands. His mind was running in circles. He probably did like Shreya. But he was scared. And how could they be a couple if he couldn’t even go anywhere without being yelled at in the street. ‘Just think about it okay.’ Chelsea said turning to its computer screen.

***

It was Victor who picked Adam up from school at lunch. He explained he’d had a meeting and as he had the car he and Igor had figured it would be easier if he picked Adam up. Adam didn’t say anything in response instead he just sat staring out of the window. ‘I brought you some lunch. Seeing as you didn’t have any breakfast. Adam looked at the paper bag and pulled it open. A strong greasy scent emitted from the bag. It shouldn’t have been appetising but it made Adam’s stomach growl. ‘You’d better eat it now. If Igor finds out I’ve given you junk food we’ll both be in trouble.’ He glanced over to Adam. ‘Thanks.’ He said as he reached in and opened one of the cardboard boxes. It wasn’t until he’d started eating that he realised just how hungry he had been. By the time Victor parked the car he had eaten everything but the chicken bones. ‘Thought you’d be hungry.’ Adam nodded. ‘Yeah. Thanks again.’ Victor began to climb out. ‘Go and throw all that away. In the outside bin. Then you can just go and do whatever you like.’ Adam stepped out of the car and made his way over to the bins which sat just behind where the car was parked. Making his way inside he wondered what to do now. He supposed he should use his free time working on his invention. He’d lost two days of work already and he’d promised Dr Ramaker he’d have it done in a month.

 Victor

Justine arrived on Wednesday not long after Igor had left to pick Adam up from school. Victor had seen the taxicab drive up and had come out to great her. She quickly made her way over and threw her arms around him. ‘How are you?’ he asked once she’d released him from her grip. ‘Better now I know I’ll have some time away from all… that.’ Victor nodded. ‘Well Igor’s not here but I can help you with your bags and show you your room.’ He picked up his sister’s old high school gym bag and a plastic carrier bag filled with her various soaps and perfumes. Justine took out her suitcase and swung her backpack onto her back. She called her thanks to the taxi driver, who gave her a thumbs up before driving off, before turning to follow Victor inside. He lead her up the stairs and along the hallway. ‘My room is just around the corner.’ He said as he pushed the door to her new room open. And at the end of that hallway you’ll find the stairs leading to Igor’s quarters. If you ever need either of us.’ Justine nodded and set her bags down on the bed. ‘We usually eat dinner at six.’ Victor continued. ‘Igor insists we all eat together unless I’m on a deadline for work. Speaking of which I’m sure this goes without saying but while I’m in my office I expect everyone to be quiet while moving around the ground floor.’ Justine nodded smiling a bit. ‘You really haven’t changed.’ She teased. Victor shook his head. ‘Well I’ll leave you to unpack.’ With that he left. It wasn’t long before he heard Adam and Igor coming through the front door. Making his way to the front door he nearly got knocked over by Adam who was rushing past. ‘Sorry.’ Adam called as he ran off. ‘Don’t run in… And he’s gone.’ Victor turned to face Igor. ‘What was all that about?’ ‘He asked if he could go to the ruins. I said he could as long as he was back in time to washup for dinner.’ ‘Right. Doesn’t explain why he’s in such a hurry but never mind. Anyway speaking of dinner Justine’s here and I’d like you to make Coq Au Vin. It’s her favourite you see.’ Igor nodded. ‘Of course sir.’ With that he left to begin preparing the meal.

***

Come dinner time Victor found himself being the last to arrive. Adam was already sat at his usual seat at one end of the table and Justine had been seated somewhere in the middle. ‘Sorry I’m late. Had to make a phone call.’ Victor explained as he took his seat at the other end of the table. Justine reassured him it was fine, Adam simply shrugged. Igor served the food and poured the wine for Victor before turning to Justine. ‘Any wine for the lady?’ he asked. Justine blinked. ‘Uh. Yeah sure go on.’ Igor poured her drink before leaving to put the bottle away. Justine sniffed at the red liquid before taking a sip. ‘Hmm.’ She said nodding to herself. ‘Not bad. So what’s the occasion?’ she asked Victor. ‘Nothing.’ He replied as he picked up his fork. ‘I always have a glass at dinner sometimes a little more on a weekend. I’m not a big drinker but I find it adds something to the meal.’ Justine nodded before turning to Adam. ‘What about you? You ever drink?’ ‘Adam is underage.’ Victor said a little more snappily than he would have liked. Quickly he composed himself before continuing. ‘I doubt Igor would approve of me giving a minor alcohol.’ Justine gave him a look that said, I’m not falling for it. He hated that look mainly because whatever conclusion she had come to usually turned out to be undeniably correct. Even when Victor didn’t know it himself. The majority of the dinner conversation was taken up by Adam and Justine who had asked him to call her Auntie Justine. Adam had seemed delighted at this. Once they’d finished eating and waited for dessert, fruit salad with a dollop of cream, Justine asked Adam if he’d ever seen any ghosts. ‘Ghosts?’ Adam asked looking from Justine to Victor. ‘Yeah ghosts old building like this must have some. I saw a ghost once.’ Victor let out a long sigh. ‘For the last time that wasn’t a ghost. That was Elizabeth getting a glass of water. You and your friend scared yourselves over nothing.’ ‘That’s what you think. But how do you explain it happening just after we’d summoned a ghost.’ ‘Coincidence. You used that Ouija board at the same time Elizabeth always goes downstairs for a drink.’ Justine shook her head. ‘I’m telling you it wasn’t Liz.’ ‘I’m sorry but could someone please tell me what a ghost is?’ Adam asked. Jusine turned to look at him. ‘You’ve never heard of ghosts. A ghost is the spirit of a dead person who hasn’t moved on to the otherside. Some are pretty peaceful just wandering around the place they died. But some are really aggressive. Attacking anyone who comes near. Or even just specific people. But what these ghosts really want is to reap their revenge on the one or ones who wronged them. And until then they’ll never know peace.’ ‘Justine that’s enough!’ Victor said slamming his fist down. He turned to Adam who had started to shake. ‘It’s all nonsense ignorant people thought up when they scared themselves over thinking every little shadow. There are no such thing as ghosts. Justine’s just trying to scare you.’ ‘Well it worked.’ Adam said sounding close to tears. ‘Oh sweetie I didn’t mean to freak you out so much. I was only messing around.’ Adam nodded but wouldn’t look at her. He ate his dessert quicker than usual before standing up and rushing out without a word. ‘What the hell was that about?’ Victor hissed at Justine the moment he was gone. ‘Telling him all that nonsense. Especially after…’ ‘I know. I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking about that.’ ‘I don’t think you were thinking at all.’ Victor scolded. He knew he should probably drop the subject but he couldn’t stop thinking about how scared Adam had seemed. ‘The boy has enough trouble sleeping. I don’t need you to make things worse.’ Justine simply nodded and finished her fruit in silence.  Once he’d finished Victor decided to make his way up to Adam’s room to see if he was okay. He found him sitting at his desk working on another invention. This one looked like it was quite far along and Victor was surprised Adam hadn’t mentioned it. ‘What’s that?’ he asked. Adam jumped snapping the small strip of metal he’d been holding in two. ‘Shit.’ Adam hissed before turning round. ‘Uh it’s nothing.’ Victor raised an eyebrow. ‘I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you cursing. Anyway you don’t usually refer to your inventions as nothing.’ Adam shrugged. ‘It’s not an invention perse. I’m just experimenting with different mechanisms.’ Victor nodded. ‘So what have you found out?’ Adam shrugged looking at the ground. ‘Well there’s no point doing experiments if you can’t even remember what you learnt from them. You need to write this stuff down. I could get you some notebooks, that one you’ve got is probably getting pretty full by now and it’s best to keep your notes separate. Would you like that?’ Adam simply nodded but didn’t say anything. Victor sighed. ‘Justine didn’t mean to scare you so much. Though I suspect she wanted to scare you a little. I’ve had a word with her about pulling something like that.’ ‘Did you tell her about, about me going to therapy?’ Adam asked. Victor shook his head. ‘It didn’t seem relevant.’ ‘Good. Because I don’t want people knowing. They already think I’m… I don’t want to give them anymore reason to treat me like…’ ‘Justine wouldn’t do that. But if you want to keep it quiet then that’s what we’ll do.’ He turned to leave before stopping. ‘Oh and I got a call from your school. Something about destroying one of the science rooms?’ ‘It was one bench. And it wasn’t deliberate. An experiment went wrong.’ Victor chuckled a bit at the indignation in the boys voice. ‘Yeah I figured as much. Don’t worry I’ve dealt with it.’ He left and headed back downstairs.

Adam

Adam woke up with a start after another nightmare. This was a new one. He’d dreamt he’d looked out of his bedroom window and seen that little girl looking up at him. He’d taken a step back away from the window and heard a horrifying crunch from underneath him. Looking down he’d see William lying on the floor with his skull completely crushed under Adam’s foot. The dream had been so vivid even now he was fully awake Adam could swear he could feel the brains between his toes. He started pacing up and down his room clawing at his wrists as he did so. He should really take his meds, but had it been six hours since the last dose? And if he took them now he’d only be able to take them one more time over the next 24 hours. And with another Chemistry lesson and English and a therapist appointment all he would probably need two doses over the course of the day tomorrow. Deciding he needed to save his pills and too worked up to try and sleep he sat down at his computer. He found two new follow requests on Instagram from Maram and Oliver which he accepted straight away. He found links to another couple of sites on Oliver’s account so he clicked on them and followed them. One turned out to be a youtube channel and to Adam’s surprise he found he’d posted a few videos. They seemed to be mostly educational with titles like; Dating a Hijabi Muslim (ft. My Girlfriend), How to Use an Epi Pen and Trans Male vs Trans Masc What’s The Difference. There were also a couple of gaming videos. Adam decided to give one of those a watch as he didn’t feel like anything too heavy. He found a video of Oscar playing a dating sim. This sim was about a man who had moved house with his daughter to a street where most of the people living there were also single dads. He remembered Nate had played it himself and kept going on at Adam and Chelsea to play it. ‘I thought you were aromantic?’ Chelsea had joked. ‘Yeah so? That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a good love story.’ Adam still had no desire to play the game himself, but he was curious as to what it was like. He clicked play on the video and sat back to watch. It was clearly an older video, Oliver had no braces and notably less piercings than Adam was used to seeing him with. His hair was also orange and pink rather than the various shades of blue it had been the other day. Though Adam noted the haircut was the same. He’d only meant to watch a couple of episodes to get his head to calm down but before he’d known it the sun was coming up and he was still awake. Well at least I got some sleep. He thought as he got up. There was no point even trying to go to bed now but it would be a while until Igor made breakfast. Deciding to take another trip to the ruins Adam quickly got dressed. And made his way downstairs, taking care to tiptoe when passing Justine’s door. Once outside he started to make his way to the trapdoor. He wasn’t going to go down it, not again. He’d been down there the night before to see if he could find a couple of things to use in his invention in Victor’s lab. Technically it was stealing, but they were such small items he doubted Victor would miss them. No he wouldn’t risk going down there so soon after he’d just done so but he did want to see that trapdoor again. As he approached though he suddenly saw something, or should that be someone darting across the ruins. Now there was no doubt in his mind he had been seeing someone. This person was as solid and as real as the stones around them. Adam couldn’t see their face as they had their back to him and they wore a dark blue hoody, the hood up concealing their hair. But he could tell they were not a skinny individual. Though anyone who would assume this figure would be slow because of this they would have soon changed their mind upon seeing them run. Adam charged after them but couldn’t quite catch up. The chase ended when he tripped over a small pile of stone and the stranger disappeared into the woods. ‘Shit.’ Adam hissed as he tried to sit up. ‘Ahh! Shit shit shit.’ He said a little louder at the pain that went up his left arm as he put weight on it. Trying his best not to lean on it he struggled to his feet using his right arm to push himself up and made his way in doors.