#where i'm like boy here is a thing i dislike or am starting to dislike

[thingswhatareawesome]

¨

[humanpurposes]

I really feel like the writers of HotD could benefit from keeping in mind the phrase "don't play the ending."

At the end of season one, Alicent has Aegon crowned King and puts herself physically between him and a dragon.

And all through season two she's having a miserable time. From episode one she straight up dislikes her sons, is terrified of Aemond, is hooking up with Cole and feeling guilty about it, is feeling guilty about Rhaenyra, feeling guilty about the war, constantly being undermined... but is there actually a moment where the stakes escalate for her? Jaehearys dies while she was doing the dirty with Criston, but she already felt guilty about that. She feels sorry for Helaena, but she already struggles in her relationship with Helaena. She hates Aegon and thinks he'd be a bad King, but she already hated Aegon and thought he'd be a bad King. Then she doesn't want to start a war, but she already did that by naming her son King over Rhaenya. She gets dismissed from the Small Council by Aemond but in the first episode she's already aware that none of the men around her actually respect her. So what is she doing here? What does she want? How is she relevant to the story aside from looking sad and feeling all this guilt for a conflict that is way more complex than her misunderstanding the final words of her rotting husband?

At the end of season one, Rhaenyra learns that her son is dead after she's been hesitant to let the conflict come to all out war. In that final shot of epsiode 10 she's full of anguish and rage. I'm thinking "cool, so when the story picks up again she's going to be ready for war."

But then she's spent so much of season two stalling because she doesn't want to incite bloodshed because war is bad. And she can't justify getting revenge for her son but she can justify letting hundreds die because of some dream her ancestor had. She wants the throne but she's hesitant to fight for it.

There's such a disconnect between where we left off and where we picked up, because there's no starting point in the character arcs. Alicent will become haunted by grief and guilt, oh so lets do that from episode one. Rhaenyra wants to be Queen and was vilified by the fictional history, so lets absolve her of her wrongs and effectively remove her agency.

And my boy Aemond... I love the idea of him feeling remorseful about Luke's death but knowing that he can't appear weak, and so losing his humanity more and more to this image of a Kinslayer. But the execution leaves a lot to be desired for me. I would LOVE to have seen this through his family relationships. Let him have a conversation with Helaena, when her son was murdered as revenge for someone he killed. Let us see the distance growing between him immediately after he comes back from Storm's End. It was clearly the intention all along that Aemond was going to become "the villain" of the series and I love that, but if he's going to feel like he has no choice but to "dracarys" his brother, boot his mum off the Small Council and then leave his family undefended by flying off with Vhagar, I want that to feel earned. (also I want my fav to have more screen time obvs) but I would love for his scenes to have more room to breathe, like the only interaction he's had with Helaena was a scene that was one sentence long, I AM SUFFERING HERE.

In a season with only 8 episodes the pacing is crazy. We've skipped over what clearly was a crucial few days between 1.10 and 2.01. We've got characters stalling for no apparent reason. Simultaneously we're rushing through scenes and character interactions to move on to the next thing. It's genuinely frustrating to watch. Kudos to all the actors doing an amazing job with the script they've been given.

[zluty-spendlik]

WAKFU REDESIGN SERIES PART 3 - ADAMAÏ

Hiya, Im back lmaooo - took me long enough

I have been struggling with Ad's and Am's design so much. I dont know why. With Amalia, Im going to have to start over- again- 4th times the charm Im sure - but I finally finished this little guy!

ADAMAÏ IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER GUYS IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS I LOVE HIM SM

But anyway, here is the final (human form) design:

Im aware he has multiple forms since hes, you know, a shapeshifter, and Im going to add them i promise but im like super tired and burnt out from the rest of my mortal life rn

Anyway, to the DESIGN.

Honestly, Adamais og design kinda sucks. Im sorry (not rlly). He doesnt look similar to Yugo at all - YES I KNOW HES A DRAGON - which bothers me a lot, even his color scheme is a lot different from his literal twin...

In my version, I wanted Ad to look deer-like at first, since I gave Yugo deer features, but then I drew him over and over again until I got this fusion of a moth and a lamb or smthing..

I don't know, but I really like it!

The outfit he's wearing is actually what I plan to be an official eliatrope/dragon robe? Both Grougal and Qilby will be wearing it and - potentially - Yugo in season 3. It has some portal imagery (the spiral on the back), and I don't know I just think it's neat!

ALSO WAKFU FRECKLES-

Season 1

Ad has been raised by Grougaloragran (least complicated name ever, wtf Ankama :3) and with Eliatrope/Dragon traditions, so hes very knowledgable of the now dead culture and values it very much. He loves talking to Yugo about it (he gets almost bored sometimes, but he would never admit it to Adamaï).

He, just like Yugo, is extremely curious and loves studying the way Wakfu works and its limits.

And mainly, he loves Grougal, whom he sees as an idol and a father figure. Which is why hes so hurt when he gets killed by Nox.

It feels like the whole world is collapsing on him. His mentor, care-taker, father, LITERALLY THE ONLY OTHER "PERSON" HE EVER INTERACTED WITH AND THE ONLY OTHER DRAGON ALIVE, is gone.

Adamaï has noone. Well- almost noone. Theres this little 12 year old Eliatrope, his only hope, his only anchor.

And he asks you: "Uh, sorry, whats your name again?"

Season 2

HAHSHA LETS TRAUMATIZE THE BOY!! (Even more than he is) Like I said, Adamaï values his culture and people very much, so I assume he would get very, I mean extremely attached to Yugo. However, Yugo is not actually interested in the same things Adamaï is interested in, which makes him a little bit more avoidable of Ad than he should be, given his emotional state.

Not that we blame him. So instead Ad seeks out a new anchor, a new mentor, a new... idol. Who is that you may ask?

Well, it's Qilby of course. Now here's where the funny trauma part happens, because Adamaï starts blurring the line between Grougal and Qilby.

Qilby's mistakes suddenly don't matter as much because Adamaï cares about him as much as he cared about Grougaloragran even though they don't know each other that long (which is the core of the problem).

Anything he'll be does that is morally questionable suddenly isn't bad, because that's not the mentor that Adamaï was raised with ‐ he trust Grougal completely, so why should Qilby be aby different?

So when Qilby betrays him, Adamaï is all the more surprised and hurt. It doesn't help that he really doesn't want to hurt Qilby: Even though he finally realizes that Qilby is a bad person, Adamaï still sees him as an anchor. He might be bad, but other than Yugo he's the only other person Adamaï has.

So of course he loses the fight, of course he gets captured – he doesn't actually want Qilby to get hurt.

Season 3-4 (5?)

Okay let's make one thing clear, I'm a bit of a hater.

Like I genuinely really dislike season 3 and what it has going on with making Adamaï a villain? I really don't think it fits his character, and I would much prefer for the story to have Yugo and Ad grow closer and revive their culture despite all the horrors and terrible things that have been bestowed up on them - But the writers have decided to go the obvious evil twin route which honestly makes my blood boil..

so I don't think I will be even considering rewriting season 3? I think to make it likeable for myself - as this is a self-indulgent project - I would just have to make my own season 3?

If that makes sense?

Art dump!! (Seriously my sketchbook is filled w this lil guy, these r hand picked) And- woah, is that Cleophée redesign? Maybeee~

@saturnyukaa i was looking forward to ur reaction 👉👈

[spacebaby1]

Hey lovely! Would you do a one shot where the reader (she’s the team manager in the time skip) is married to Atsumu (only friends and family know) but she keeps getting shipped with someone else on the team? How would he react and how would it go down 😊

His sweetheart!Ehehehhe, I can hear him screaming from here. Enjoy!

Being a private person meant no one knows anything about your life at all, not even your team. It was hard on Atsumu to not just run and hug you; his wife every time he felt like it. But he knew that you absolutely disliked people knowing about your life and your marriage was one of the important things you wanted to keep private and for yourself.

It wasn't long until the teammates started to guess who would be the perfect match for you out of all of them, and Atsumu almost choked when he heard his team mates are talking about his wife, well, they don't know but still. He was boiling from the inside as they kept shipping you with their captain. Atsumu snickered at that comment, "I'm not sure she will find him interesting because she doesn't like-I mean, she seems like she doesn't like loud guys!" His teammate laughed, "well, looks like you got zero chance with her, then." They all laughed, and he was about to yell that you would like him because you are his wife and you love him with his personality, but he just rolled his eyes and walked away.

The whole time at training, he wasn't in the mode and kept looking over you with puffy eyes. Sometimes, you'd catch his look and would give him a small smile, placing your heart where you were wearing your wedding ring around your neck away from the team mates' eyes. It was a thing you'd always do as in saying ' I love you ', but with your own ways. But every time he looked at his teammates looking your way, he'd go back to pouting until the training was done.

Later that night he kept groaning and sighing as you went on about doing your nightly routine until you stopped and looked at your husband flopped on the bed in his pyjamas, "What's the matter, love?" You asked, confused as you approached him. He sat holding the pillow on his lap, "the boys, they were saying that you don't like me." You blinked, tilting your head and laughed, "what?"

He groaned, pulling you on his lap as he threw the pillow on the bed. He snuggled his messy hair in your neck, "they kept shipping you with captain. And I don't like them talking about my wife like that. Ugh, he was looking at you like he even got a chance, idiot." You wrapped your arms around him breathing in his sweet shampoo, "well, too bad for them because I am married to the most perfect man and no one can be like my sweet and amazing husband. This whole shipping thing it's stupid, it's not like we are in high school. And I'm here with you so it really doesn't matter what they think, does it now?" He blinked before pulling away with a smile before kissing you. "I fucking love you and you're mine and all mine." You kissed him back before placing your head on his chest, "forever and ever."

The next day you had decided to put your ring on and all the teammates were talking when they saw you walk by, "is the a wedding ring?" "She's married?" "We didn't know she was married!" "Aw, we shouldn't have shipped her with captain. That's bad." "I'm glad we didn't try to flirt that would've been very disrespectful." "Her husband is probably someone lucky." "Sorry captain, she's taken."

Atsumu grinned feeling proud to be your husband and walked with his head high and the ball in hand as he walked past his teammates, "too bad she's taken, captain." He was feeling giddy when you looked at him and smiled before looking back at what coach was explaining.

[hiraethwa]

one summer day

02 fly high. where you have yet to realize what ushijima will mean to you.

<< 01 clear skies. | >> 03 shining light.

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader a/n: double post this week, I'm feeling like i need some motivation to keep going. i wrote this a while ago, and am super excited with how this part ends, but i still feel like the flow isn’t the best here… word count: 1.4k warnings: some angst if you squint terms: furoshiki -- cloth that is used to wrap bento

june, first year

“curry rice!” you grin at the ash blonde haired boy, plopping a neatly wrapped bento on his desk as you slide into the seat in front of him. ever since your brother introduced you to him, he has become a constant in your everyday school life to the point that the two of you are almost inseparable. 

“are you coming over after practice again? we have that japanese homework that i need your help with” you shrug off your jacket, sweat sticking to your skin from the walk to school. summer is coming on quickly now, coaxing the spring blossoms that you loved so much away. 

semi hums in agreement as he unties the furoshiki and opens the bento excitedly. “it smells amazing, y/n! i am hungry thinking about it now even though i had breakfast.” he pouts at you. 

you laugh wholeheartedly, feeling something like satisfaction. it is one thing to have your family compliment your cooking, another to hear such sincere praises from your friends. you think this might just be it. high school might be better than you thought after all. after all the disappointments and heartbreaks from junior high and even before that. 

“thanks, eita. now keep it before you make the whole class hungry.” you poke fun at him as you pull out another set of wrapped bento, this one in plain cat print. it was the plainest, non-feminine-screaming furoshiki you could find after the one with crashing waves that you wrapped semi’s bento in. 

you didn’t normally bring bentos to school since both your parents are always busy with work. even this furoshiki is a recent addition after you graduated from junior high, when you started packing some meals for yourself. 

“so, you remember how ushijima-san helped me with my wound a few days ago?” you sound hesitant even to yourself. inside, you wanted to kick yourself for following through with this now that you are actually in the process of it, but it is too late. so you might as well get it over with. “i made an extra portion for him to thank him for his help… could you pass it to him at practice?”

“ehhh, why does he get one too? i have known you for two months now and it’s only my first time receiving a bento from you.”

you roll your eyes at the boy. “if you help me, i will make you a strawberry shortcake.” bribing him is easy when you knew he enjoyed the cake you shared last week. you breathe a sigh of relief when he does not pursue the topic any further. 

semi is quite the competitive persona, so it did not surprise you when that was the tangent he went off in, instead of the typical, do you like him? that other people would assume. this is good for you. you do not want him to misunderstand your intentions, and it’s not like you harbor those feelings for ushijima. you just strongly dislike the feeling of being in anyone’s debt. 

“how is practice for interhigh matches going anyway?” you smile at your newfound friend who you got along with as naturally as breathing. 

yes, high school will be different. i will see it so. 

it is pouring outside later that afternoon regardless of how clear the skies were when you walked to school in the morning. the sound of volleyball practice fades into the background as you pull out a blank music sheet and start scribbling the tune that has been rattling around your head today. 

today, when you climbed the stairs to the gymnasium and watched the practice match your school is playing against the college team that came in, you had expected to experiment with the melody when you get home later. you note that the usual starting lineup were on court, with the exception of one of the wingspikers being subbed out for ushijima. even though he is just a new first year. perhaps this is the lineup that the coach has in mind for the interhigh tournament, you had thought. 

and even though you have seen countless of your brother’s matches over the years, this one felt different. the spiking form of the player as he begins his approach, swinging both arms backwards before leaving the ground, feet kicked out behind him, and making contact with the ball with his left hand, sending it back into the opponent’s courtside, felt different. 

it had felt like you were given wings to soar high above the clouds when all life did was cover up the blue skies that you loved so much. it had felt like coming up for a full breath of fresh air after being dunked in water. it had felt like you were alive again, for once in a very long time. 

and the melody that you had been crafting takes on a life of its own, taking its first flight from your hands and rise high up into the sky. twisting, turning. triumphant. the notes flow onto the sheet as your hand struggles to keep up with your mind. 

before you know it, you hear semi calling your name from the court. eh, the match is over? you glance at your watch, showing two hours after when you arrived at the court. “yes! be right there!” you yell back, swinging your belongings onto your shoulder and making your way downstairs. 

music sheet in hand, mind far ahead of yourself, wanting to play it on your violin already, you venture to find your friend. semi is standing at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed while waiting for you. “were you paying any attention to the game, y/n?”

“what– take a look at this first,” you shove the paper in his hands, excitedly waiting for his response. one could say one of the reasons you two got along so well is your love for music. 

he takes his sweet time reading your rough draft and giving you a “hmph” before returning it to you. “fine, i forgive you for missing my set. this is an acceptable excuse, i suppose. it is no small feat to overcome a creative block.”  

semi shoots you a mischievous smile before slinging his arm over your shoulders and messing your hair up with his other hand. “SEMI”

“well done! but no next time though” “no promises”

another voice cuts through the air, stopping both of you from making a bigger scene. you had resorted to trying to make his hair stick up vertically as revenge. 

“miyamura-san…” ushjima holds out the cat clothed bento to you, slightly amused by you and semi. “thanks for the curry rice, it was delicious.” 

“waa, a compliment from ushijima-san, your cooking must have been amazing, miyamura-san,” a red-haired boy pokes his head out from behind ushijima, whom you would later learn is none other than tendo satori, a troublesome boy who always seemed to be able to see through you. 

you beam at his compliment, “heh, thanks guys.” swinging your bag to the front, you shuffle the things around in your bag to make space for the box. he had neatly tied the furoshiki around the box, which caught you by surprise, as semi had returned his to you in a clumsily packed fashion. you surmise that the rising ace in front of you is an athlete who probably likes to keep his life neat and in order, he seems like the type. 

“so what are you up to later, semi-semi?” 

“ah, i am going to y/n’s to study”

“can i come with? i have nothing else to do.”

“no! if you’re so free you can practice more volleyball.” 

semi banters with the red-haired boy, which sounds like a regular occasion to you. you chuckle to yourself, picturing ushijima, the stoic spiker, playing the referee between the two boys. now that would be entertaining to watch. 

your eyes meet ushijima’s, to which he raises his eyebrow at you as if he’s saying what’s so funny? you shrug, feigning innocence before turning away from him. 

neither of you realized it at the time, but ushijima gave you wings to fly, even before you really knew each other. 

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[cheesecakeluvrs]

Shampoo is my least favorite character in Ranma ½ and I’m tired of pretending she's not

Listen, I tried to be a girls girl, we all know all the “rivals” in Ranma suck and are all terrible people but for most of them I’m able to just look past it and see the comedy. I think both Ukyo and Kodachi are hilarious and I love it when they show up but I just couldn’t force myself to feel the same way about Shampoo. One of the things I actually liked about Ukyo and Kodachi is they don’t love her but a lot of the time they’re able to be chill with Akane. But since Shampoo doesn’t care about Ranma’s feelings and knows he won’t love her she takes to going after the one thing that is stopping her from forcing Ranma to marry her, Akane. She takes Ukyo’s manipulation, Ryoga’s obsession, Kuno’s creepiness, Kodachi’s aggression, multiplies that by 10, adds psychopath and boom you have the fan favorite character. I don’t find her funny, I don’t find her cute, I don’t find her entertaining… I just find her annoying.

I was honestly just able to ignore all this but after spending some time on the internet I learned more and more about the fans of Ranma and Shampoo. Of course, of course, of course, you can ship whoever you like, I don’t care, I mean I’ll have like way less respect for you but I honestly don’t care. The thing that pisses me of is when people bring down Akane in support of their ship. Obviously Akane’s not perfect but she is by far one of the nicest people on the show. Definitely more than any of Ranma’s other fiancées. If you think Akane hitting Ranma sometimes because he is being a jerk is worse than Shampoo actively forcing Ranma into marriage, not giving one thought about his feelings, using all kinds of different magic and manipulation then also on top of that being an outright murderous person to Akane then you need to stop being blinded by the cute little chinese girl who you insist can do no wrong. Also if you really want to get into it Shampoo also hits Ranma along with Akane.

I can’t recall a time off the top of my head (now i'm sure there is) where Shampoo actually cared for Ranma without having some ulterior motive. If you gave her a deal to kill Akane and marry Ranma but he would never be happy again, she would take it in a heartbeat. I just can not see any perspective where Shampoo would be a better choice for Ranma. That boy started crushing on Akane the second they met and definitely hasn’t stopped. He definitely cares for Shampoo as a person but I don’t think he likes her as a person. I mean I think Mousse needs some new glasses because those are clearly not good enough if you think Shampoo is actually worth anything.

Yeah Akane’s not some super strong and amazing martial artists. Sorry she didn’t grow up in some ancient place and has been training since she was an itty bitty baby like all these other people. Thats a part of her character. I heard someone say shes not good enough or good for Ranma because shes not focusing on her training enough and too much on school unlike Shampoo. What? And again again again again opinions opinions opinions opinions you can like or dislike whoever you like… but… if you dislike Akane while also praising all the other female characters… then of course you're entitled to your opinion but like get outa here.

When a female character is hated that doesn’t deserve it I am here, and if history repeats itself with the remake you people don’t know the crimes I will commit. You know a comment I saw on I think it was Shampoo and Ranma’s wiki, “I’d gladly take her over that bitch Akane”. I’m gonna be real, that's what got me fuming. Did Akane kill your parents? I don’t know man, I’m just a teenage girl, I should be studying for school but instead I do this in my free time. I know a lot of people just can’t write women but I feel like a lot of the time it’s not that the women are written poorly it’s that you go into every show, book, movie, manga, comic, anything with this perception and automatic response to hate on female characters and defend this by saying they’re poorly written. RIP Akane, RIP Sakura, RIP Katara, RIP literally any live action female superhero, RIP Rogue from ‘97, and RIP all my ladies out there.

[emo-trash101]

Hii:3  so I've been reading your works and I LOVE them (especially the Ramshackle and Hazbin hotel <3) so I was wondering if yo could write an one shot about Stone with a Male! Reader about what it would be like to sleep with him (you know, cuddles and cuddles and stuff) I have a hc about skipp and vinnie trying to grab the blanket for them while they sleep (obviously not knowing) and i even see them half fighting and pulling the blanket at each other while they sleep and I feel like (of the three) stone is the lightest sleeper so you could say he suffers the most with that so reader help him fall asleep again? I'm sorry if I made it too long but I better leave it until here because then I start to extend more and in fact this is already extending more but my English is not so good and I had to use translator in several parts of this to make sure that if I wrote it well but anyway sorry for making it so long sorry again 

-🥸 (I love this emoji omg it looks so silly and goofy and it reminds me of me fHAHSJANAJANJSGDUSIWJAJJ)

Ofc I would love to write this! Also dw about your english, I understood it very well! I couldn't really find a good way to write it in one shot form (I'm so sorry 🙏🙏🙏) but if you want me to try and rewrite it just let me know!

Stone x M! reader

Pronouns: Second person, implied male

Tw: uhhh, too much fluff???

- So I'm gonna preface this by saying I don't think Stone is particularly touch starved(I know a lot of people headcannon him as being touch starved(no shade to them)), he just doesn't like touch very much.

- Like in several scenes we see him tell Skipp to not touch him or to let go off him.

- So I think cuddling would be a kind of thing where it's not often, unless it's like winter time or on of y'all is drunk off your ass.

- But I feel like Stone would be really cold in general.

- Like cold hands, cold feet, cold everything

- So idk if y'all like that but it's the truth.

- That being said, he's probably a blanket hog by accident and it turns into a fucking war just to not freeze to death.

- Also cuddling with him lowkey sucks. Like he's basically a sack of bones, and last time I checked that is not super duper comfortable.

- And then ofc, we have the lovely Vinnie and Skipp.

- They thought it would be silly to take away the blanket y'all were sharing (Cause no amount of alcohol can raise that man's body heat nearly enough to be comfortable)

- He obviously woke up (Because I agree, light sleeper Stone for the win!!!)

- And you wake up to people yelling at 2:00am (sounds just like home)

- But in all, do I think he dislikes cuddling, yes. Do I think he's freezing cold all of the time, yes. Do I think cuddling with him would probably be hella uncomfortable, also yes. But none of that should stop anyone.

- Go cuddle your angsty sickly victorian looking boy to your hearts content (dw I wanna cuddle with him too)

I just realized this lowkey sounds like pure Stone slander, I PROMISE I AM TOO A STONE SIMP I SWEARR 🙏🙏🙏

[venus-giirl]

"A enemies to lovers"

Gyutaro Shabana x fem reader.

Fandom: Demon Salyer.

Word count: +1.8K

Rating: fighting, insults, fluff, anguish, enemies, harsh words.

N/A: I'm back, bitches. This last month I've been with final exams and couldn't find motivation to write. So last night I sat down and decided to write an enemies to lovers with Gyutaro, since I saw that the last post had been well liked. Enjoy reading, sorry for the hurtful words, but in this story the two of them hate each other… or not.

THE BOY IS A MONSTEERRRR

The room was dark. School supplies were cluttered all over the space, which was already cramped. Balls, tennis racquets, strings, mats, etc. Everything smelled like gym equipment, covered with the typical layer of dust that was hardly cleaned unless the equipment was being used.

Both of your breaths were labored, breathing hard due to the little air left inside along with the dense layer of dirt. You were angry at the stupid situation you were in.

"You shouldn't have come, it was me who was tasked to go get the mats." he growls in a serious tone, almost sounding like a dog facing his opponent.

"I've already told you a thousand times, he sent me to help you too, the mats are heavy…". you retort.

"I don't need your help, I am much stronger than you".

"You're an idiot if you think a woman can't fend for herself, Gyutaro."

"The idiot is you if you thought you were going to help me with those weak arms." His breath hits your face. It wasn't unpleasant to you, despite his hideous appearance. It smelled like a mixture of mint and body odor.

You shake your head shaking your thoughts away. My goodness, you disliked him for over two grades. He was so cruel and mean to the other students and envious through and through. He was always complaining about those who were better than him, especially in sports.

"Oh my god, you're unbearable, you know that?". You don't know what to respond and the only thing you can think to do is try to vent your anger by making him feel bad. Even though that really wasn't what you wanted, but you couldn't help it.

"Unbearable is your stupid voice and to top it off the door was locked with the keys out because of you, you clumsy girl." He had snuggled closer to you. Although the room wasn't very well lit, because the light wasn't working either, you could see his face with the small solar halo coming in through the small square window located above the wall where Gyutaro was.

His hands had reached your arms to shake you helplessly for the situation. You wince as he digs his fingers in that it almost hurts and you let out a whimper, trying to pull away from him.

"Let go of me, you brute." You fight back, trying to wiggle out of his grip. "I hadn't even seen the keys." When you had entered the materials room you didn't notice that the keys were in the lock, so you assumed that the trainer had already opened the door and that he had them hanging around his neck, as usual.

"Oh, of course. Because the girl is so dumb that even at that she's not able to figure it out." His comments were starting to hurt and tears were beginning to sting the edges of your eyes. You were not going to allow yourself to sink with his hurtful words. If he could insult you with no regard for your feelings, of course you would too. You hated him.

"You are inconsiderate, sarcastic and unbearable." You scream and press the palm of your hands on his hard chest to push him away from your body. "If you were in a different mood maybe we'd be out of here by now." You press your nails into his shirt and manage to rip a button off. He grunts and squeezes you tighter in his grip. Your arms hurt too much. It might even leave a mark on you.

"I didn't need your help!" He yells and shakes you.

"Fuck, Gyutaro, this isn't about help!".

"Then why do you always show up everywhere I go?". His question left you unsettled, blank. In fact, you also had the same feeling of running into him, in the hallways, at the lockers, when sometimes you were late because you overslept, in fights you were always around or even when he was expelled from class for confronting some teacher, you would show up by the punishment room to put some papers.

"What… What? For God's sake, I'm the deputy. It's normal for me to be doing… delegate stuff." You weren't crazy and you weren't chasing him, it's just a coincidence. right?

He laughs in a low, vile tone, not believing anything you say. "And it's also a coincidence that we're here right now?".

Your cheeks were starting to heat up from anger. "Honestly, I'd rather die than be locked in the same room as you." You spit out in a stern tone.

Gyutaro responds with a laugh too unpleasant for you "Dare to say that again and again and I'll break you". The glint of malice could be seen in his gaze. His teeth chattered with every word and his jaw tensed, you almost thought he might snap his teeth from the strain. His grip and his voice were harder and harder.

"Fuck you." You grab his shirt and try to shake him too.

"Oh, I'm flattered, but no thanks." You take a few steps forward and out of sense take a few steps back. You don't want him to touch you. You can't stand it. His touch feels rough and horrid to you. Cold and hard. Painful and… Fuck, stop thinking about it.

"I hate you, I hate you. I can't stand you and you think I'd be after you? Jesus Christ, you wouldn't believe that yourself. From the moment I saw you I couldn't stand you." Gyutaro is silent for a few moments, seconds in which a silent emptiness takes over the room, which, seconds before, had been filled with screams and voices, insults and confessions too painful and cruel to be able to say them to another person.

Seconds in which your body is pushed forcefully backwards. The air leaves your lungs abruptly and gravity takes hold of your body pulling you down. Your back crashes heavily against the mattresses and you feel a large, angry body looming over you. The vibes shook your skin and it bristled at the numerous sensations you were experiencing, fear, terror… But you were not going to show weakness before him. No way, he couldn't see you crying or in a vulnerable state.

Your breaths were agitated, loaded with words that wanted to leave your mouths to hurt again. Hands and legs move, squeeze, and you try to pull away. You sit up, but he places his palm on your chest and sinks you back down to the mattresses. You claw at his arms and groan, trying to overcome his enormous strength. He grunts gutturally and tries to grab your hands again. When he finally succeeds, he spreads your legs apart with his knees and stands over you, his bony pelvis now between your thighs, preventing you from closing your legs or kicking him. You gasp and grunt, arch your back, but nothing, you can't free yourself from him. From his prison. God…you were almost sure you'd never get out of there.

"I hate you you know." Desperate you attack him again with the only thing you have left.

"I know." He replies in a dry tone and smiles showing his menacing teeth.

"I hate your smile."

"I know." He repeats. His face moves closer to yours. Her hair, always messy, now falls around your face, forming a curtain between the two of you.

"And your face, you're so…you're so obnoxious." Your nose brushes against his, his breath hits your mouth and cheeks. If you could sink even deeper into the mattress you would have made it by now.

His weight on your body burned you more and more. "And I can't…I can't….". Your eyes widen as you feel his lips rest on yours. You don't know it at the time, as the darkness prevented you from seeing, but his eyes looked into yours with a glow…an unexplainable glow. His dry, chapped lips encircled yours in a chaste kiss.

Your breath catches and you let out a soft sigh, half-opening your lips. Gyutaro pulls away just an unbearable millimeter and you already feel the cold from the absence of warmth. In an uncontrollable impulse you sit up and kiss him back. You suck in a breath of air and crash your lips against his. Gyutaro grunts in an attempt to control himself and crushes you back against the mat without separating from you, without breaking the kiss again. His mouth opens and he sticks out his tongue to open your wet lips which you open, inviting him in. Your tongues meet, slippery with saliva. Oxygen is depleted as your kiss becomes more intense. Now it has become a war to see which tongue can dominate the other. Your mouths open in a kiss. His breath caresses your right cheek and you tilt your head so you can get more of him.

His hand held the back of your neck. Since when did his hand hold the back of your neck? His thick, calloused fingers curl and pull at it. Your body arches and his body hovers more over you, the mats supporting the weight of both of you. Gyutaro grunts and begins to eat from your mouth as if it were the last meal on earth. You follow his rhythm and you both create a dance, in which your mouths devour each other with anger, rage, hatred and uncontrolled passion. His teeth sting and graze your lower lip. From time to time he gently bites your tongue and curses, in words that crash over your lips, incomprehensible confessions.

You feel and hear Gyutaro's nails digging into the mat and breaking it as he clenches his fists. Your hands now embrace his neck and you pull at his hair, causing him to growl. At an indeterminate point, you become dizzy and can almost feel his pelvis shift between your thighs, searching for something to relieve himself with.

However, the crazy magic of that crazy kiss is interrupted by the jingling of keys and a male voice shouting, "Is someone inside, the door is locked, hello!". Everything falls apart when Gyutaro abruptly pulls away from your body and growls. His weight, his touch, his breathing, his hands…everything is now cold to you. Your mind gradually comes to its senses and you awaken your mind cold again, assessing the matter. You are still there, lying on the mats, trying to calm your breathing and organize the bomb of events in your head.

"Shit…" Gyutaro curses and turns his back on you. Before he leaves he gives you one last look showing his teeth and walks away, leaving his scent, his trail. You hear the professor hurling questions at Gyutaro who ignores him completely, until you stop hearing his footsteps. Your hands rise by inertia to your red, swollen lips and you again hear footsteps running into the material shed.

"T/n, are you okay?" Mitsuri's soft voice sounds concerned, but you don't manage to hear it. Not after what's happened.

"I… I hate him…". You whisper still feeling the trail of Gyutaro's kiss on your mouth.

[good-griief]

Hey! I was wondering if I could request for Van Palmer? Something along the lines of the reader coming to terms with their sexuality?

It’s totally cool if you don’t want to write this request lol also kinda might start sending in asks so im gonna claim am emoji -🍾

sorry this took so long but i'm back and able to write again so here u go! this was getting very long so if u guys like it i'll happily make a part two!!<3

You were never a “talkative kid.” You were never one that could spell words like gargantuan or manganimus. You were never helping with your classmates’ homework or told you were exemplary. Your grades were average; A’s and B’s, but nothing exemplary. 

Though there was one thing you were exemplary at. One thing that if given the chance to write about, you’d always be given the highest score. One single thing, completely apart from the rest that could get you an award for your writing. 

Funnily enough. It was Soccer. You’d gotten an award for writing about soccer. 

You always liked Soccer. Ever since you were little. You liked playing with your friends, hanging out with them. You liked the hugs that came after a big win, the friendships, the relationships. You liked the team bonding. You liked the sleepovers and parties. You liked getting close with the best of the girls because you were also one of the best. You liked the small, intimate group you had, and the small, intimate time you spent together. 

You liked the times where you would have a sleepover and cuddle with one another. Sleepovers where you would kiss to ‘practice’ for boys. Sleepovers that got you so close you were hugging and leaning on each other all the time, lying your head in each other’s laps. 

Sleepovers that somehow dwindled down to you and one other girl by eighth grade. A girl that you’d kiss to practice for boys that didn’t exist. A girl you held hands with at school and took to lunch on weekends with each other’s babysitting money. 

A girl that moved away before highschool. 

You started freshman year without friends, signing up for soccer tryouts and hoping that would get you somewhere. 

You ended up on JV and it seemed the rising sophomore class had already gotten so close that your effort to make friends in soccer proved less than fruitful. 

When you played scrimmages against varsity, the group hardly passed to you and kept it within their small circle. 

There were two girls, Mari and Akilah, who you got along fine with, but they weren’t close, so you had to talk to one or the other during practice which meant you weren’t close with them either. 

That left you in your own little bubble freshman year, floating around. No one really disliked you, but no one knew you either. Not even your own teammates. 

Luckily, though, around winter break, you were asked out. You didn’t really know the guy, but Jackie, one of the sophomores in his grade and on the Soccer team, said he was nice. 

So you said yes. 

And suddenly after a winter break of calling this guy and getting hot chocolate with him, you were in with Jackie… Which meant you were in with Shauna, which meant the ball was passed to you, which meant they started to see how good you were, which meant they started to like you. 

“Hey!” Jackie came up to you, Mari, and Akilah after practice. 

You’d slowly been getting them closer so the three of you could hang out. You figured you could then start passing to them and get them in with the other girls without a whistle-blow from Coach Scott for changing a play. 

“You three wanna come with us? Team bonding?”

“Sure!” You said first, all too enthusiastic and making her chuckle. 

“I have to study,” Akilah said.

“Yeah, same,” Mari said, giving you a sympathetic smile. “Have fun, though!”

“Oh, we will!” Jackie looped her arm through yours as you gave your new friends a look. “Come on. You can tell me all about Mark— he’s friends with Jeff, you know?”

“Jeff?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Oh…”

“Oh, good! You brought her!” Nat, another sophomore, said. 

“I told you the other two would say no.” Jackie shrugged. 

“Still nice to ask everyone,” Lottie, the only one that’d actually introduced herself to you, said. She also gave you everyone else’s name. Which was helpful since they definitely weren’t going to introduce themselves. 

“Hey,” except maybe one of them, She was shorter, redheaded, and the goalie. She gave you a sweet smile as she held out her hand. “Have you met everyone?”

You took her warm hand, shaking gently and earning even more of a smile. “Lottie,” you gestured to the brunette with your free hand, “told me about everyone.” She only nodded. “Vanessa? Right?”

“My friends call me Van.” You nodded, giving a small smile as you still mindlessly shook her hand. “You can call me Van,” she added with a smirking laugh, eyes darting to Lottie briefly. She had a feeling she told you her name was Vanessa on purpose. 

The brunette was grinning from ear to ear, hands slapping at Nat’s as they both laughed together.

“Van.” You dropped her hand. “I’ll remember that.”

“Oh, I hope so—”

“Leave her alone,” Taissa butted in, laughing. “You can ride with us if you want.” 

“Sure.” You agreed, walking next to Van as the group dispersed. “Where are we going?”

“I think Jackie’s,” she said. “She’s been dying to meet you and shit now that you're dating Mark.” You nodded. “Whole team has, really. You know, you’re pretty good?”

“Thanks, I think?” You frowned. “I’ve played since I was, like, eight.” She nodded along. “You guys are great. I mean, you’re the best high school team I've seen— Van, I’ve never seen a better goalie.” She smiled, shaking her head. “No, seriously,” you insisted when she went to object. “You must, like, study every player or something—“

“She does,” Taissa said. 

You were glad you were usually on her team during JV scrimmage, or it’d be a challenge to get a goal. 

“Insane.” You shook your head. “I can only ever tell if someone’s injured.”

“Oh, really?” Van asked, curious.

“Mhm. It’s pretty easy.” She frowned. “Just check the bench. Works every time.” Taissa stifled a laugh, Van laughing out loud. 

“I thought you were serious,” she laughed. 

“Yeah I could tell. You were all…” You imitated her face, making Taisa laugh. 

“Come on, Tai!” Van hit her shoulder. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

The ride to Jackie’s was spent receiving questions from Tai as Van just listened in or responded to something Tai said. 

There was something about this girl. The way she spoke. The way she looked at you through the rearview mirror, checking to make sure you were comfortable. She was sweet, obviously, but there was something else. Maybe, it was just the fact that she was pretty and red-haired, but something about her was all too attractive. 

In the sense that you wanted to be her friend, of course. 

By the time you got to Jackie’s, the other girls were already there and inside while her parents ordered food for all of you. 

They greeted you from the kitchen at the opposite end of the giant house and told you the girls were “in the parlor”.

“You’ll get used to it,” Van said, walking with you to the living room, which was one of many but clearly the most casual of them. 

“Hi!” Jackie was quick to pull you by her. 

The night was spent getting interrogated, practically, about your boyfriend while you ate pizza and watched shitty movies until people started falling asleep. 

You were up late with Van, who, like you, seemed to enjoy the shitty movie on screen. She grabbed the two of you a board game to play while you watched. 

“So, do you wanna tell me about yourself at all?” She laughed. “I know more about Mark than my new teammate now.”

“Wasn’t really prepared for that one,” you joked, making her chuckle as you took your turn. “Well, all my old soccer friends are at different high schools now,” you said, shrugging. “So if you’re wondering—“

“Why you seem like such a loner?” She interrupted, making you laugh. “I was a little curious.” 

“Jeez,” you laughed. “My best friend moved, like, across the country, and the rest of my friends are on rival teams now… And I’ve beat them all—“

“Fuck yeah, you have!” She laughed. 

You spent most of the night talking with Van, who seemed to have been waiting to talk to you alone. She hardly spoke in the group conversation, but now she was lively and engaged. Maybe it was because the conversation had less to do with your boyfriend, and more to do with you. Maybe because she actually got to know you. You couldn’t tell. 

There was just something about her.

At the next practice, you were getting the ball passed to you regularly, but never close enough to score. 

Maybe because the one time you tried, Van blocked it like it was nothing, but that was weeks ago. 

Which meant you were determined to best her now. 

When Tai passed you the ball, you made a move to get it to Akilah. Just as quickly as you passed it, it was stolen by Nat, but Mari got a read on what you were trying to do and got it back. 

“Mari!” Tai waved, but she quickly passed it to Akilah now that no one was guarding her. 

She passed the ball to you, and as quickly as you got it you were kicking it at the goal without moving from your spot. 

“Ah, fuck,” Van muttered, having been counting on you coming toward her and already moving to the right of the goal. She jumped toward the left to block, but the ball barely brushed her fingers before getting caught in the net. 

“Yes!” Mari yelled, high fiving both you and Akilah when they made their way to you. “That was clean!”

“It was sloppy,” Tai said, coming up to the three of you as the rest of your mock team came as well. “Just unexpected.” 

You nodded in agreement. “A goal is a goal, though.” She narrowed her eyes, huffing a laugh. “That kinda unexpected sloppiness can win a game.”

“She’s not wrong.” Jackie patted your shoulder. “Nice shot.”

“Well, why don’t we add it to the playbook?” Tai said. “Test it out in a real game.”

“Oh, don’t be bitter, Taissa.” Jackie laughed. “She just wanted you to pass the ball to her.” Tai laughed at that. 

For the rest of the practice, you made sure to pass to Tai every so often, the two of you testing out new plays. 

Despite that, Van was determined to block every one of your shots.

More so than anyone else. 

It was to the point that after that one goal, you didn’t score another. 

“Good game today,” Van said in the locker room, hand on your hip as she moved behind you to get to her locker. “You were making me nervous.”

“Me?” You laughed. “You were pissing me off—“ Van cut you off with a loud laugh. “I only got one goal!”

“It was hard to make that happen!” She laughed, and once it died down, she spoke up again. “Do you think you’d want to come to the field early sometime? Practice with me?”

You smiled, nodding. “Of course!” It was the perfect opportunity to get closer with her. Maybe, know more about her. 

To become better friends, of course. 

The first time was that weekend. You came the Sunday after practice, practicing earlier in the morning and getting lunch afterward. 

It slowly became a habit; every once in a while, every other week, weekly…

“Here.” Van jogged over to you as you stood in front of the ball. “You obviously have to turn your hips, but you really give yourself away…” She held out her hands, brows raised. You nodded and her hands went to your hips to readjust. “This is what you’re doing.” She turned you to the right. “So, I always know you’re going left, but…” She turned you to a slight angle, facing the right corner of the goal. You looked back at her and she couldn’t bring herself to get the rest of her sentence out. “I’m not sure how to explain it,” she said, taking a step back. “Why don’t you try goalie for a minute?”

“I’m a shit goalie, Van.” She laughed at that, but you went anyway. 

“Just try and figure out which way I’m going,” she said. 

That day, you spent the entirety of it ogether. It was past lunch by the time you went to the locker room to change, talking the whole way there about your newfound knowledge. 

“Do you wanna get dinner?” You suddenly suggested, both of you in the midst of changing. “We could, like, go out or something?”

She paused, looking over at you as she got her shirt on. “Where do you wanna go?”

You shrugged. “Mark took me to this little diner a few blocks from my place last weekend,” you said and her mood seemed to dampen. “They have everything— it’s, well… Well, it’s not amazing, but it’s cute.”

“Um…” She took a moment, putting on her shoes and taking down her hair. “I’m kind of tired—“

“Oh—“

“Yeah—“

“That’s okay—! No, I mean, that makes sense. We’ve been here all day, so…” You nodded as you got your pants on and slipped on your shoes. “Maybe another time, then?”

“Totally.” She nodded, giving a smile despite the sudden awkwardness that came between you. 

“Okay.” You nodded. “Then, I’ll see you tomorrow—“

“Wait, let me drive you home. It’s late—“

“No, no, no. It’s totally fine!” You gave her a smile as you grabbed your bag. “Mark was going to pick me up, anyway—“

“Oh, did you want to get dinner with him? Like, us three?” You shook your head. “But he’s picking you up,” she said, smirking with a furled brow. 

“I would’ve just told him to go home, or hang out with Jeff and Randy, or something.” You shrugged. Her smile widened slightly, cheeks heating. “That’s kinda shitty, though, I guess.” She then laughed. “Next time we’ll, like, plan, or something.”

“Definitely.” She nodded. “And I’ll take you somewhere nicer than a hole-in-the-wall diner after practice, alright?”

Something about the way she said it made you smile, stomach fluttering. “Alright.”

She walked with you out of the dressing room and to your boyfriend's car. “See you tomorrow?” She said some ways away from the jeep he drove. 

You nodded and leaned in for a hug, arms going around her shoulders. She was stunned for a moment, having not realized what you were actually leaning in for. She gave you a quick hug back before pulling away to go to her car. 

The next day, she was talking to you in the halls, the next practice you were able to get more than one goal, and the next weekend your practice was spent laughing together in the field and dribbling the ball between one another rather than practicing. 

“Oh shit!” Van laughed when it started to rain. 

March had come quicker than you expected. You and Van had been hanging out for just over a month now, but it felt like you’d been friends all year. 

Within minutes of you grabbing your bags, it was pouring rain and you were running to Van’s car. 

“Jesus!” Van groaned as she slammed the door shut behind herself, you doing the same. You threw your bags in the backseat, wiping your faces. 

She started the car, already starting her drive back to your house from memory. 

“Just park in the garage,” you told her. “You can stay for a while.” You then added, “if you want.”

“Is that fine? Like, with your parents?”

“They’re out of town.” She nodded slowly, pulling into the garage. “I can, like, make us dinner or something,” you offered. “If you like pasta.”

“I love some good spaghetti.”

“Great!” You both laughed. “First, we need to shower, and get this shit in the wash.” You looked down at your damp shirt and shorts. 

She turned off the car, and you headed inside. You grabbed both your bags and set them in the laundry room as you went inside, getting off your cleats and socks as well. 

“Here.” You filled the silence and led her up the stairs. “My rooms there.” You pointed to the end of the hall. “I’ll use my parents shower… obviously.” Van chuckled at your awkward speech, nodding. “There’s towels and everything in there. You can just take my clothes.”

“You sure?” 

You nodded. “Just send your stuff down the shoot.”

You took a quick shower before heading to your room in your towel and getting into pajamas. 

You heard Van call your name some minutes later as you lay on your bed. “Close your eyes!” You laughed, covering your eyes. “Are they closed?”

“Yep.” She came in with just a towel. “I totally forgot to bring you clothes—“

“Fuck off.”

“Sorry!” You laughed. “Pajamas are in the bottom drawer.”

That night was spent making shitty pasta and laughing together as you ate in front of the TV you rolled out of your closet. You ended up sleeping in your room, falling asleep to an old movie with dishes on your night and arms around each other.

Since that day, Van had been so much more friendly. 

It was almost insinuating. 

She would touch you to get past you, tease you about a mistake on the field, sneak up and hug you from behind to scare you in the halls. And when she came over, she was touchy and clingy— not that you weren’t. You were often hugging her or lying your head on her shoulder. Hell, you even danced with her if either of you put on music. 

On the field, however, she was awful. During scrimmage, she would go out of her way to make you fuck up. Even if you were on her team. She’d call something, or say something to you during a break that made you fumble the ball.  

It was to the point that even her telling you good luck before a game had you flustered. 

To the point where you fucked up. 

“What the hell?!” Tai yelled at you as you shook your head at yourself. “Get it together—“

The ref blew a whistle for timeout after the other team's score. You groaned, walking over with a frown. 

“What’s going on with you?” Ben asked.

“Are you sick?” Misty asked. “Injured?”

There was a small pep talk you had before you were sent back out. Unfortunately, your boyfriend was sitting with your parents as they watched you fuck up one of your last state games. It only made your nerves skyrocket. 

“Get it together,” Nat told you, placing a hand on your shoulder as she walked past you. 

Van was the last to leave, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “Guess we should’ve kept up our practices, huh?” She joked, earning a glare. “Sorry— Look, you’re good. Really good. You’re just being predictable.” You frowned at her. “Think back on that play you, Mari, and Akilah pulled earlier this year.”

When you got back on the field, you did as Van said. You let Shauna, Tai, and Nat get their goals in, but after that you asked Tai to pass to Akilah, who was heavily guarded. 

“What?” She frowned at you. “You’re, like, out of your mind today.”

“Just try?”

As soon as the ball was stolen from Akilah, Mari got it to you, and you back to an unguarded Akilah. When she passed to you, you immediately kicked at the goal. 

“YES!” You heard before you even knew what happened. 

The buzzer sounded, signifying you’d won and leaving you shocked as your teammates huddled around you, chanting: “BUZZ. BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ!”

In the locker room, your excitement continued until you and Van were the last ones there. 

“So, I was thinking,” Van spoke up. “What do you think about dinner this Sunday after our usual?”

“Oh, now you’re nice?” You joked. 

Maybe it’d been left out that you were completely reciprocal in this teasing game. You would go up to her at her locker to scare her like she did you, and of course hug her and kiss her cheek afterward before you went to class, leaving her flustered and wanting to get back at you by the time practice rolled around. So, maybe, you brought it on yourself. 

“Come on,” she laughed. “It’s not my fault I make you nervous.”

“You’re so annoying.” You shook your head. “I almost blew the match because of you.” Her brows shot up. “You were fucking with me before the game with your…” You gentured to her when she looked at you with false confusion. “You know what you were doing.”

She laughed. “Yeah—“

“See!”

“I was just teasing—“

“Well, stop it.”

“But you’re so cute when you’re flustered.” She pouted at you, earning a glare. “Even cuter when you’re mad at me.” She smiled. “Besides, we still won.”

“If we didn’t, they would’ve killed me.” She scoffed. “It’s not funny.”

“You’re actually upset?” She couldn’t help but laugh. “We still have, like, five games—“

“You can’t talk to me before them.” She practically guffawed. “You, like, fuck with with my fucking head. I don’t fucking know.”

“I fuck with your fucking head? What the fuck are you talking about?” 

You groaned, turning to grab your bag. “Goodbye, Vanessa.”

“Hey.” She grabbed your hand, turning you around. 

When she did, you were closer than she expected. 

And that was when it started. 

Her eyes fell to your lips before flitting back up to your eyes. 

That was when you finally realized what that something about her was. 

In the seconds it took you to process when was about to happen, her lips were on yours. Her hand still held yours and as soon as your free one went to her cheek, she tilted her head for a better angle. 

You didn’t know how long you were there. You didn’t realize the time passing. You didn’t even know when it was that her hands found your waist and your other found her neck. 

But you did realize that the door was opening. 

You quickly pushed her back as someone stepped in, Van pretending to have been lacing up her shoes as she sat on the bench. 

“Everything okay, babe?” Mark called from the doorway. 

“Yeah, sorry. I was just helping Van with this turf burn.”

“Shit, is she okay?” He asked. “Should I get Misty?”

“I’m good!” Van called. “Just couldn’t wrap it myself.”

It took a few more exchanges to get him to leave, but eventually the door shut and you grabbed your things. You went to leave, but stopped yourself and turned around. You placed your hand on her shoulder as you leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Come over after practice tomorrow?”

She looked over at you, brow raised. “Does this mean you’re not mad at me anymore, or…?”

“I’ll think about it.”

When she came over, the two of you went straight to your room to “watch TV.” You locked the door behind you, rolled out your miniature TV and put in a tape, and sat down on the bed with Van. 

“Hurry up,” she laughed as she grabbed your hand and pulled you down on top of her. 

You never talked about it. You didn’t discuss what was going on. You didn’t even ask what it meant. 

You just changed your practices to time together. You’d still practice, but you’d also just sit and talk. You’d make out in the locker room before going to get lunch or dinner. You’d hang out with the team and sneak off to have time alone. You’d even just get together. One of you would call and ask the other to lunch, or to go to the mall, or just to come over. There wasn’t a need for the practice excuse anymore, it was just nice to do that, too. 

But you also had to decline at times. 

“Mark wanted to take me to the movies,” you told her one night and you could practically feel her mood shift. “Maybe… Maybe I can get him to—“

“No, it’s okay,” she told you quickly. “Spend time with your boyfriend.” The word left a sour tension in the air. 

“Van—“

“What time’ll you be home?”

“Hey,” you sighed when she spoke over you. “If you want me to, I’ll… I can tell him, but I don’t think—“

“You’re going to tell him you’re cheating on him with your best friend?” She asked, tone disbelieving. “No way.”

“Tell him I want to break up,” you clarified. She was quiet for a moment. “And… We’re not cheating.”

“We’re hooking up,” she deadpanned. 

“But…” You pursed your lips. “There’s no possibility of us… being an us, is there?” Your hopeful question, despite how poorly it came out, was met with another beat of quiet from her end, but she didn’t say anything that time. “I just mean… There isn't a way we could actually be together— at least, not in a real way—“

“In a real way?” She scoffed a laugh as she often did when you misused and fumbled over your words. “Have I been imagining all this, or—?”

“That’s not what I mean.” You pinched the bridge of your nose as you started to get frustrated; mostly with yourself and your horrible articulation. “Publicly. Like, I’d never cheat with Randy or Jeff.” She cursed your name, laughing in disbelief as she listened to you try to justify what you’d said instead of taking it back. “This… You and me, is it really going anywhere? Because, if it’s just ‘hooking up’, we could never really be anything, you know? And that sucks, but it’s also, I don’t know, it’s, like, better—?“

“So, let me get this right… You think it's better that you’re with me, because if you were cheating with a guy, it’d actually be real— or no, there’d be a possibility of an actual relationship.” You pursed your lips at the tone of her voice, knowing how awful it sounded. “Is that right?”

“Not exactly.” She hummed, waiting for you to explain. “It’s more like… I’m scared of what people might—“

“I don’t wanna be with someone that’s scared of what people think—“

“Just let me talk.” You sighed, feeling your eyes sting. You’d never been good at articulating your feelings, especially not in this kind of situation. “I’m scared of what people might do because of what they think. It’s just… It’s better if it doesn’t look like we’re anything more than friends—“

“Okay, I’m gonna get off the phone—“

“Van—“

“No— Look… I see where you’re coming from, just… I know that’s not the reason you said it in the first place.” You didn’t argue, nodding despite the fact that she couldn’t see it. “If you want to, I’ll come over when you get home—“

“Okay,” you said all too quickly. “I’ll be home in two hours.” There was a long pause. “If you want to come.”

“Alright.” Click. 

She came by that night, but when you tried to talk to her and smooth things over, she was short. 

“Look,” she said. “I like you. I’m comfortable saying that.” You immediately shut your mouth and listened to what she had to say. “If you’re not comfortable admitting you don’t like guys. Or that you’re using your ‘boyfriend’ as a fucking beard, because you want me, that’s fine. I don’t care. I probably already knew that.” You nodded along. “But I don’t want to talk about it with you, because hearing you say it? That fucking hurt.”

“I’m sorry.” Van shook her head, dismissing it. “I really am afraid of what someone might do…”

“It’s not like I’d let anyone do anything to you,” she said, eyes narrowed. 

“That’s not what I mean.” She sighed, waiting for you to explain. “I’m really not saying anything right in this conversation, I just… My point was that I’d leave him for you, and I was trying to ask you if, maybe, this could be more than this, because I don’t think you want me as more than a friend, so when I say ‘in a real way’ I mean, as more than…” You trailed off, narrowing your eyes at the bedsheets when you began to repeat yourself. “And… I wouldn’t cheat with a guy because—“

“Because you like girls?”

You looked up at her, lips pursed. “Why won't you answer my question?”

She tilted her head. “If we get together,” she started, “and I mean, actually get together. Not go to the mall and meet up at a store. Things are going to change. People will catch on, and they’ll treat you differently. I’m sure you know that, but I don’t think you’re ready for it. Especially not when you can’t even admit how you feel.” There was a long pause, her lips pursing. “Just stay where you’re safe,” she told you. “Stay with Mark. We can keep doing this— I like doing this— and you’re probably right. It’s probably better if people just think we’re friends, so…” She looked over at you, obviously still frustrated. “Why don’t we just move on?”

“Okay.”

[rollercoasterwords]

tried to read wfrau as i saw people rec it, but there's something bothering me in that fic. i don't like the alpha-male-ification of remus in wfrau. remus is not a beast who can fight another beast werewolves. he was a timid, sheltered boy in canon, but it's like you're making him fit into the fanon toxic wolfstar heteronormative box. it feels weird to read. please don't make me start on why it seems like you hate sirius OR use sirius as a self-insert to indulge in your fetishization of remus. like why do you write sirius as abused, when it was canonically remus who was disabled. can you consider rewrite some points in the fic, aligned to canon?

lmao where do i even start with this. uhhhhh okay first of all to answer your question - no, i will not be rewriting to make my non-canon-compliant fic more compliant with canon. if you don't like it, i suggest you don't read it! i'm not writing the story for you, and i'm not really sure why you think it would matter to me whether you like it or not. there are plenty of other fics out there that you can go read.

this fic was explicitly written to be a werewolf-fighting ring au. if you don't like remus fighting other werewolves, then i'm baffled as to why you even started it in the first place, considering that it's clearly tagged "werewolf fighting ring." i don't agree with your interpretation of canon that he was a "timid, sheltered" boy; even if i did, this fic is specifically exploring how the characters would be different in an au, non-canon-compliant version of their world. if the gay romance between two men is too heteronormative for you, there are, again, other fics out there that you can read. and if you don't want to read about "toxic" relationships then u DEFINITELY shouldn't read this fic, because none of the relationships in it are wholesome and healthy lmao. if you think i hate sirius...i don't even know what to say lol. like yeah i hate him so much that i've written hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction about him. that checks out! and remus is fetishized in this fic for being a werewolf, which is a topic that gets explored in-depth in his pov chapter and is not something condoned by the narrative. i'm assuming you didn't read that far, though, and that what you mean by "fetishization" is the fact that sirius finds him sexy. so. again, i think you probably should just not read this fic if characters being sexually attracted to each other bothers you. i write sirius as being abused because that's the story i wanted to tell; not really sure how remus being canonically disabled is something that would cancel that out? those are two separate things. and remus's canonical disability is his lycanthropy, which....also exists in this fic. and is another topic that gets explored throughout the story.

in conclusion i truly cannot emphasize enough that i am not the person out here reccing this fic, i am not trying to grow an audience or go viral or any of that bullshit. not sure where you got the rec from, but i have actually asked people not to post about my fics on tiktok to try and avoid them blowing up there, because i do not want people like you reading them. i include an entire warning on the first chapter about the fact that this fic is dark and deals with heavy topics; i've tagged the fic thoroughly and have also included "additional tags to be added" to remind people that it's a wip and things are subject to change. all this is to emphasize -- i really, really, really don't care if any person reading the fic dislikes it. i don't care if they dislike it so much that they have to stop reading, because i don't care how many people are reading it in the first place!! i'm writing this story purely for fun, for myself, so i'm going to write what i want to write. even if you intended for this message to be polite, it just comes off as incredibly entitled to ask a stranger on the internet to spend hours of time and labor tailoring a story to your specific tastes, and if you think this type of message is okay to send then i think you should genuinely sit down and reevaluate the way you approach fandom. nobody is making you read fics you don't like, so just....don't read them.

[neko-loogi]

Oh boy, Hazbin's episode one is finally out.. here are my thoughts on it.

Before I start, I'mma just say, I'm so happy that they actually posted the first episode on YouTube, cuz there's absolutely NO WAY I am paying to watch this shit on Amazon Prime, hell nah. That's good money being wasted on a shit show, no thanks. Anyway, let's move on.

Warning: minor spoilers!

***

Alright so the first episode, all I can say is, it's a rough start. I have SO MANY things to talk about that I feel like this post is going to be extremely long. So bear with me my friends. To make things simple I'll just number everything for y'all cuz I'm such a nice person :)

1) Introduction..

I'mma be real with y'all here, I'm noticing a pattern with Vivziepop's shows in terms of episodes. Like, the thing I don't like about Hazbin Hotel right now is that they do nothing to establish the characters at all!

You have to watch the Pilot (and I guess do some research) to understand the characters a little better, but the thing with Viv is that she claims that the Pilot episode isn't canon, and that "you shouldn't watch it" because it doesn't count.

And yet, she doesn't even bother to introduce the characters in the first episode! So if you're watching this show for the first time, you won't understand what the characters motives are or their personalities. She literally did the same thing with Helluva Boss! And now she's doing it here, and it bothers me so much.

And don't come at me saying "Oh but that's the point of the show, we'll get to know about them later!" Like, the characters talk to each other as if they had already met before, which means that we won't get introduced to them. They're just there in the series with no explanation.

Moving on..

2) The characters..

Oh my god, where do I even begin? The characters are terrible- I absolutely dislike every single one. They completely butchered them all.

I'mma start with Adam because holy shit he's the worst one of all, he literally serves no purpose in the show, other than to talk about himself and stroke his massive ego in front of Charlie. Not only this but his character design is so stupid- nothing about him screams "I'm an angel, I'm supposed to be the good guy here!".

Alastor just sucks. He's such an asshole in this series and he doesn't care about anyone at all. Like, I get that he was kind of sadistic in the Pilot I guess, but that's because he was meant to be intimidating and someone not to be messed with. But here he's just a super powerful guy who really likes old timey shit, and he's a dick to everyone for no reason.

Angel Dust all he does is be horny 24/7 which really isn't a good personality trait. I mean, he's a porn star, I get it, but he doesn't have to be spewing sex jokes all the damn time, it's annoying.

Vaggie is boring as hell, and honestly it doesn't even feel like she's dating Charlie, she feels more like a weirdly overprotective older sister if anything- plus their relationship feels forced in.

Nifty has been reduced to a weird yandere type character and honestly it's super lame. She deserves better.

*Edit: Vaggie also has no redeeming qualities, or a personality at all. She's literally just Charlie's girlfriend, that's it. There's nothing else about her. She doesn't have a single purpose other than to be Charlie's girlfriend.

Next up..

3) The voices..

Oh boy, some of the voices are not that great to be honest. I still don't like Alastor's voice, he sounds like if Shrek had a congestion and tried speaking with a higher pitch. Angel Dust's voice is TERRIBLE, it's so irritating to listen to- like, you can tell the voice actor is really forcing himself to sound like the Pilot VA. But it doesn't come naturally to him! Angel Dust's voice cracks so many times and it sounds so annoying.

This one is just a personal opinion but I really don't like Husk's voice. Like, I kinda miss his old voice because he actually sounded like a drunk old man, but here he just has your typical black guy who works at a casino kind of voice. (Literally, if King Dice from Cuphead had a deeper voice). Like, the voice is good, don't get me wrong, Keith David is an amazing voice actor, it's just that his voice doesn't suit Husk in my opinion.

Oh, and don't get started on Brandon Rodgers voicing Katie Killjoy- I swear to god I just wanna rip my ears off. I hate Brandon, okay? No offense but the guy's voice is annoying, he's not funny at all- I am so disappointed that they cast him to voice Katie, she deserves so much better!

Charlie's voice is alright, I mean she sounds like your typical quirky Disney princess. Vaggie sounds incredibly monotonous and Nifty sounds off, it almost sounds like the VA is using a microphone with a different quality than everyone else.

Furthermore..

4) The songs..

So there're two songs in this episode, and yeah they're boring. Basically, both songs are kinda like a rip-off of "Inside of every demon is a rainbow" from the Pilot, as they are both fast paced and explain Charlie's motive with the whole Hotel stuff.

But here the songs are divided in two, the first being "Happy day in hell". Which we've already seen countless of times in the trailers and whatnot. The song is a super Disney musical type of shit, which is alright I guess. But the second one "Hell is forever" sung by Adam is so unmemorable and boring. Yeah I personally didn't like these songs at all. I even ended up skipping through them when I watched the episode. That's how you know how bad they are.

And finally..

5) The comedy...

This show isn't funny guys. Viv's comedy isn't good and she genuinely doesn't know how to be funny. The only time I actually found a part of the episode funny was the scene where Vaggie was holding the camera while trying to make a commercial for the Hotel, and she asked Nifty to say some lines but all she did was just stand there blankly staring at the camera and not saying anything. That actually got a short chuckle outta me, but aside from that? Nothing else in the show is even remotely funny.

Alright that's it, that's all I have to say about the first episode. I'm done with this opinion post- If the other episodes get posted or leaked, I'll definitely watch them and give my opinion on them. Thank you all for reading and I'll see you next time!

[noveratus]

Ok, I finished it. Here is my review, I'll do a little rewrite in a separate post. Spoilers for season 4.

Boy, am I sad that TUA was canceled after just two seasons!

For real though. This was shit. Truly and utterly shit. And it is a shame too, because it had potential.

Let's make something clear: TUA started as a parody/critique of superhero shows and an exploration of what happens when a superhero team akin to the Xmen split up. It explores how the superhero life can break someone, either from being a superhero or being pushed away from that life. Yes, the ending of season one with the world being destroyed was beautiful. But it shouldn't have been the main take away. Explaining the lore should never have been your take away. People watch the show for the characters, not your bullshit lore that makes no sense with made up elements and trying to redeem an abuser.

Season 2 was flawed, but it was beautiful, mostly because of Viktor and his discover of himself and who he was. I didn't really care for the other characters as much, but I still had a good time. It was fun! It was colorful! And people all and all felt like themselves, broken, messy but themselves.

Then came season 3, aka the character assassination of Allison Hargreeves, and I swear this season is just there to be there to make her unlikable, do the whole bullshit with Luther, who until that point was my least favorite character and then make you feel bad to dislike her as if she could be compared to Viktor in season 1. Viktor in season 1 was flawed, yes, but he didn't make every single decision to piss off the audience, and season 2 was all about him trying to prove himself to his siblings. But no. Allison just gets a get out of jail free card and gets everything go her way, but hey, if you ignore the shit show that was Allison's you have, well, you have what could have been an interesting dynamic between the families. It wasn't. But it could have been if the Sparrows hadn't been immediately killed.

And then we had season 4 which had the exact same issues as season 3 but worse because now, it isn't just Allison who is getting ruined, oh no, it is Fives, Lila and Diego because we need that forced romance and that stupid dreaded love triangle. And this is all this season is. A bunch of montages of nothing leading to an ending that is honestly very unsatisfying and doesn't make any sense:

A- They already were in a timeline where the Marigold was never released seeing as they didn't have any powers and yet they still existed.

B- They weren't the only source of Marigold. Maybe in this universe, but I'm pretty certain that Ben didn't drink all the Marigold. What about the guy Klaus splashed in Marigold? Did he get any powers? Christ, what is this bullshit?

C- No, no, I still need someone to explain to me why having multiple timelines is a bad thing??? What the fuck do you mean 'does this feel right?' There is a tentacle monster devouring that world, does that feel right? And that's the thing, you could fix this by saying that, instead of having multiple timelines be the issue, the issue is that the Marigold being released leads to the end of the world no matter what. Multiple timelines are a widely accepted theory, and isn't timelines bleeding into each other eventually going to fix the issue you have in the first place since it implies that they are all converging into one??? Stupidest time bullshit I've heard in a WHILE

D- This really leaves a sour taste in my mouth as does any and all endings that have 'death is the answer' as their conclusion. My dude, the whole point of the finale of season 1 was how no matter what, it's never too late, how people can still be saved, that's what they do with Viktor, it is all about healing and no we are abandoning that for what??? Getting gooed?! I hate this ending. I think that this trope needs to be killed and buried just like the characters they want to kill themselves.

But the ending is not even my main issue with this series. What is this show's issue with side characters? They just hate anyone who isn't Lila and the original Umbrella Academy. Why did we have to kill Luther's girlfriend in season 3? Why couldn't Fives have another love interest that wasn't the daughter of the people he killed AND the wife of his fucking brother? Also, Five felt weird this entire season, he lacked his quips and his mannerism and everything that made him Five, he just felt like a kid who was a genius or something except he never does anything particularly smart. He is just a completely different character, an emo kid who doesn't care about his family and is more interested in getting laid? Ugh. Back to the side characters, though, they implied that Viktor was having relationship issues in this season and yet that goes nowhere. Klaus and his sexuality is treated as a joke to the point of it being insulting and finally we have the final one. The big one. Ben and what's her face? I swear she gets like 10 lines max in the show despite being integral to the plot and 8 of them are spoken to Ben or about Ben. I've seen a lot of bad cases of female characters being just objects to their male counterparts but YIKES. That one was something. I'll talk more about this about my proposed rewrite for this season, however.

Also, Reginald does not deserve forgiveness. This is a Reginald hate account. Bro traumatized his son. The take away shouldn't be "maybe your abusive dad wasn't bad" the take away should be "your abusive dad doesn't deserve your forgiveness, get the fuck away from him, you don't need him, be with the people you love who love you back." Ah, found families, how I love you baby.

Those are my overall complaints. Everything else in this season hust felt pointless. You could have written this season to be 2 episodes long without really losing anything. The jokes were too childish, the choreography was ok I guess and the music (save baby shark, whoever decided to do that bit, I'm outside your house with a shotgun, don't worry, I just wanna talk) was the best part.

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

I always said I'd never post anything like this when I was actually active on this blog as I didn't want to start drama but you know what, screw it, I'm not here anymore and I'm tired of staying silent on this.

The way some of the fandom treats Yui is absolutely nuts.

And no, I'm not talking about people who call Yui "weak" or who get jealous over her situation (that's a whole other can of worms), I am talking about the other obsessive fans.

I'll start off by saying I am not saying all Yui fans are bad (some are delightful) but I swear she also manages to attract some of the most unhinged people I've encountered on the internet.

I can't even begin to name all the posts I've seen defending her and arguing against anyone who would call her weak or criticise her in any way etc. And while I know there certainly are people who call her weak or fanfictions where she acts as a love rival for one of the boys versus an OC or reader character, I've actually seen far less of those posts than ones defending her, to an almost problematic degree. Like I literally once saw a post where someone was genuinely telling people to kill themselves because they were treating Yui badly in fanfiction and like what the actual fuck?

I personally have no gripes with Yui as a character. She's written to be exactly what the story needed, and if you like kind cinnamon roll characters, she definitely falls into that category, but people don't have to like characters just because they're good people.

In the same way, the diaboys are all terrible to some extent and if they were real people, you wouldn't want anything to do with them. However, I would argue all of them are well-thought out characters with interesting backstories that clearly tie into who they are by the time the series starts. An immoral character =/= a badly written character in the same way a moral character =/= a well written character.

Now I'm not trying to say Yui is a badly written character, as I mentioned above, I think she fits the role she needed to in DL perfectly, but I do think people need to stop treating her like literal perfection at the expense of actual real human beings. I'll admit, I have seen people dislike Yui for immature reasons, but you can't have a go at people for not liking a fictional character.

I know, and have seen, some people argue that your attitude towards Yui reflects your attitude towards rl abuse survivors and just no. That's not how that works. If someone is reading an account of actual abuse and starts victim blaming that's one thing but DL is NOT REAL and it was never meant to be an allegory about abuse or abusive relationships, it's made for people who are horny about vampires. That's it. There is no deeper meaning. I cannot emphasise this enough.

I think if there's any real point here, it's that if some of these fans genuinely value morality and goodness as much as they claim, they would take a good look in the mirror at how they treat real people. If you love Yui so much, use her an example (i.e. being nice), not some icon to beat people over the head with. And people liking and enjoying the darker aspects of DL doesn't make them bad people in the same way watching a horror film doesn't make you a future serial killer.

Anyway thank you for coming to my TED talk. Again, I am not talking about all Yui fans, just the worst ones I've seen. And to be fair a lot of the points I've made here are true for rabid diaboy fans as well. At the end of the day, it's how you treat other people, not fictional characters, that matters.

[mamawasatesttube]

Kon-El questions 3, 7 and 16

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

hmmm. how do i put this. it's like... the way karl kesel treated him as a self-insert for his own teenage fantasy self or whatever sometimes. obviously this comes out in the way he gets preyed on by adult women and this is played off as cool and chill, but it also comes out in the way a) kesel writes his flirting. sometimes it's very endearing and cringefail, and other times he's kissing women without consent, and that's played off as chill and fine because kesel thinks it should be and the women in question almost always are fine with that, but also b) he writes off concerns about indigenous hawaiians in kon's narrative (like silver sword or ...man i'm forgetting that kid who gets jealous of him and has powers about it for a minute, but that narrative). and like. yeah. white man in the 90s wrote this for SURE. i don't think it's like, written in the absolute poorest taste imaginable, because there's a lot of ways where it seems almost like they were trying to be respectful of native hawaiian culture, but then there's shit that's so far off the mark it's like. dude. and it's very evident that it just reflects karl kesel's own views much more than any character in-narrative.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

lmaooo that's a toughie!!!! fanon kon at large is just. straight up not my boy. however there's a subset of fandom who leans into him being genderqueer/gnc/trans a lot more than canon ever has and i looove that. trans kon truthers lets go ♥

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

LORD. tim/ber/kon is the one that makes me roll my eyes hardest, alongside the rarer but no less irksome ber/kon. it's like... this is 100% not about kon as a character. this is about tim. ber/kon is almost funny in that it's entirely about tim but with tim himself cut out of the picture. but tim/ber/kon is just "let's take tim's most popular two fanon love interests and just shove all of them together!" and i have yet to see Anything even remotely try to convince me why kon and bernard should give a shit about each other. like, MAYBE you could sell it as a loooong slow burn, but i just. i don't see it man. putting the rest under a cut bc i AM gonna ramble about why i dislike it, so if you like tim/ber/kon or tim/ber and don't wanna see that, keep scrolling here👍!!

this is also partly bc i just... man i really wanted to like bernard and tim/ber but there's nothing there. i knew i didn't like rebirth tim characterization going in when i read tdr but i was hoping i'd at least find some crumbs. it's all just ... like there's no substance to it. there's no conflict, no character flaws, no "why do they even like each other???", no particular way they seem to help each other grow. it's just tropey "told, not shown" fluff where megfitz insists they are SO in love and perfect for each other, over and over, without backing that up really at all, and it just holds absolutely no appeal to me. and when it's just tim/ber i'm like yeah ok sure it's not my thing but whatever. but when people start trying to shove kon into there i'm like NO!!!!!! sdjkfhkd like im just SO unconvinced and it feels like such a great steaming heap of Nothing.

the main reason that is is that to me a relationship needs to have an arc. it can't just be stagnant. if there's no conflict, if there's no room for growth, if there's no development, it falls apart in my eyes. it doesn't feel like a real story about actual people. and as far as the tim/ber dynamic established in tdr, there's just. nothing. even the fact that bernard apparently somehow knows that tim is robin, which should be a HUGE source of conflict, is completely glossed over. it never comes up in any way.

like, we know that tim wants to tell people, but holds back out of a sense of duty. in robin '93, he agonizes about this with steph. but when bruce tells her his identity without his consent - which steph tells him bruce did immediately - he flips the fuck out!!!! he panics and runs away and he's furious with them both!!! so you'd ostensibly think that bernard knowing, and then not telling him he knows, would be sowing the seeds for an explosive conflict later down the line. especially because bernard now knows that tim is just. lying to him. all the time. shamelessly and blatantly lying through his teeth. and sure, it's for a good cause. right? but you'd think that in a relationship that's only just been established, just for a few months, that would also be offputting!! you'd think he'd start getting more and more unhappy that tim is just constantly lying to him and he knows it!! because he knows it about the robin secret, but what else might tim be lying to him about??? he knows now that tim has no qualms just lying to his face all the goddamn time, and he's... FINE with that???? there's this giant secret they're both dancing around and it's set up that there's just. N O T H I N G done with that. it drives me up the wall. i found this absolutely infuriating to read. both of them just being so one-dimensionally "oh we're in looooove so nothing else matters" that it erodes not only tim's specific characterization but bernard's ability to react like . idk. a human being? it just feels like running into dead end after dead end.

so yeah adding kon into that mix makes me want to tear my hair out bc it just feels SO surface-level. it's like... how much of him are you gonna shave off to fit him into this soulless, conflictless mold? it's like how i get annoyed when tim/kon fics ignore kon being genuinely really upset tim didn't share his identity with the team in yj98, but worse. because identity shit REALLY matters to kon. kon has never dated anyone who didn't know he was superboy. all of his civilian friends in sb11 know he's superboy. like, he does Not get close to people if he can't share that. it would be!!! a source!!! of conflict!!! but i've never seen Any ship content for tim/ber/kon that isn't just either completely declawed fluff that's just oh hehe tim has two boyfriends, or "kon angsting over tim dating someone else uwu" bullshit, which occasionally leads into completely declawed "tim has two boyfriends" fluff. it just does such a disservice to every character involved imo.

[new-tella-us]

Cambion Looooooore

I am now invested in these boys' noncanon children and how they work.

What I'm gunna discuss here is briefly some nonvisual differences between humans, demons and angels and how their hybrids tow that line. Also some differences in how humans and demons are raised.

The differences I mean are how they learn and what type of powers they have.

Also this is long as hell. Sorry.

Angels are the simplest. They don't learn. All the knowledge they need for their species is cooked into their brains at birth and they have no capacity to learn outside of that knowledge. Sure they can learn emotional things and develop as a person but straight up book knowledge is a nah. They have a wide range of powers but generally whatever powers you're born with, you're stuck with. The only exceptions are powers given to certain titles that you earn through hard work and dedication. Knowledge instantly zapped into your soul for the most worthy. So spells of immortality, destiny, future, past, healing and all existential stuff. The only one that is currently not available is the ability to predict the future, a power that should have gone to the angel of destiny but was stolen by a very smart, very chaotic, and INSANELY lucky (mostly)demon.

Demons can learn but only a limited amount, they are insanely good at learning, can start learning from the goddamn womb, and can learn general spells and master spells specific to their species/mixed of species. Baby ain't even fully cooked yet and they can speak three languages. However any spells specific to a species outside of their wheelhouse is a no go. (This means I am also slightly deviating from canon by saying Diana can't use that one spirit animal spell. That is specific to animal demons). They can gain the instant knowledge that angels are able to obtain but they'd have to steal it and you would be a fool to even try and be thankful if you lived with a lost limb.

Humans are the most versatile but also the weakest. They aren't born with knowledge and can't learn until a certain age but their curiosity and ability to learn is where they shine. Humans can learn anything. And I mean ANYTHING. Multiple dead demon languages have been lost because demons didn't have the curiosity to find the missing pieces and reconstruct the language meanwhile humans do while living lives five times shorter. They can also learn any spell and any magic including magic specifically for a species of demon or a type of angel (if any angel bothers to write down their abilities) but at a weaker amount. They can't really master anything outside of general magic. So they're the jack of all trade, master of none. Though sometimes that's better than the master of one.

Because of these differences, angels, demons and humans are raised differently. For sake of simplicity, I'll save angels for another time and just get into demons. We know how humans are raised.

Demons are raised with many rituals, even the poorest, most unfortunate demons have rituals for their young and themselves. This could be for giving the child a name, worship, power, health, knowledge, on even just an unofficial call on whatever god(s) they believe in for help. Rituals are a staple among demon children. They don't have schools or stuff but they do learn the trades their parents use, raising is usually very hands on with an emphasis in family. The parents may not love each other but they do (usually) care about their kids. Demon kids are also usually raised around other kids though this tends to be dependent on culture and hierarchy. You're more likely to see poorer demons or more tribal demons do that social bonding than you are to see richer or more governmental demons do that. It's mainly for social ties and to see if your kid finds someone strong enough or that they tolerate enough to eventually populate with.

With that being said, where to cambions fall on this? Not anywhere in particular. As a general thing, cambions are pretty disliked by everyone. If humans knew about the not human side, they'd probably try to kill them, demons try to kill them, angels literally hunt them. They ain't doing too well. But it's not all doom and gloom. Cambions fall on a spectrum, and like mixed-raced humans, they can sometimes fall on an extreme end of their human-demon origins and can essentially be raised fully human or fully demon. Examples of that being Twila and Sirius(Erik/Mika child) for human-passing and Leilani(Matthew/Mika child) for demon-passing. Yes, if Leilani put on the cultural outfit with her taint and went into the Abyssal Plains, demons would be none the wiser as she is very powerful and almost indistinguishable from other demons. It's really just the eyes that set her apart and they don't look human either.

Most cambions, however, fall in the middle and need to be raised with both. They need their curiosity satiated, they need friends and a stable home but they also need rituals and that very hands on experiences that humans have slowly phased out of with technology. The most blatant example of what happens when you raise a cambion to be too much of one extreme is Ray (James/Mika child).

If we're talking OG James and Ray, James tried to raise Ray as if Ray was human and it left him feeling empty and disconnected, like something (the rituals) was left out of his life. James was definitely more hands on than most "human" fathers are expected to be (and more hands on than his parents were) but he was lacking by demon standards, Ray needed that and it's why he turned out so angry and chaotic. He's lashing out from a core need not being met. Hell, notice, I've never mentioned a demon name for Ray. He has one. It's called "Inviolis" but you might as well not know that as James never uses it. In his attempt to prevent Ray from putting himself in danger by knowing about the demon world, James accidentally denied Ray basically a part of his soul. And in classic prophecy action, James preventing Ray from knowing about the Demon World causes Ray to eventually go to the Demon World.

On the other hand, if we're talking about the King James timeline (the nicer one where James doesn't completely go mad) we get the opposite problem. Ray (Now Inviolis) is being raised too much like a demon. He doesn't have a human name nor any of the stabilities of a human life. His curiosity is denied, he's being smothered by servants that dislike him, the rituals are too much and too often, there is no safety or time to sleep. Where Ray is the demon version of neglected, Inviolis is the human version of smothered with his individuality denied. And then he has a bad relationship with his father so great job, Raestrao. This, like the OG, causes Inviolis to run off, this time to earth. Ray, like most cambion, need both. Give them only one and they'll never be happy.

Luckily for everyone involved, OG James takes the hints eventually and starts catching Ray up on all those demon practices he missed.

[lockandkeycake]

HoTD moots I'm sorry again. This isn't my last pjo rant.

I'm continuing the deep dive into the Did Leo Bully Frank allegations, moving into House of Hades, where things get a bit more murky.

I'm not going to fully recap MoA read my other insane nerdy rant, but basically. Last we left them, Frank had disliked Leo, been antagonistic towards Leo, Leo was nervous around him and teased him a few times, they finally talk and become friends. But, everything is kicking off on a sour note. No one is happy.

Right at the beginning of HoH, we don't actually get much interactions between Leo and Frank until these scenes.

I'd like to note here that Leo's birthday is July 7th. so that's fun. He's not feeling too great about all the ghost talk. I didn't include it, but there's a scene of Hazel talking about Leo being angrier and more serious early on as well. Leo is thinking about loss and death quite a lot in this novel.

Then we get to Frank's pov and Boy Is It Different.

First, I'll also point out Frank remembers the whole his clothes getting sent out and destroyed on Buford but very clearly doesn't characterize it as Leo 'throwing his clothes overboard'. Even in the state Frank is in, he knows Leo didn't purposely destroy his clothes.

But Frank still has issues.

You can note that Frank actually starts off this thought process by essentially complementing Leo, but then Mars and Ares pop in - suddenly, Frank is now saying how Leo constantly teased him.

This is one of those things I think people are going to interpret differently depending on your bias. I have a Leo bias, and having shown that Leo was NOT constantly teasing him in MoA, at least from what is written, I think this is mostly influence from Mars/Ares. Leo does tease, he teases Jason in this book I think more than he does Frank, so I wouldn't ever say Leo doesn't tease people, he absolutely can be a little shit; but the difference is that it's rarely maliciously done on Leo's part. When Leo noticed Frank was embarrassed at the end of the last book, he stopped himself from making comments. We've also seen that Leo is also not great at realizing if his comments are being taken negatively, even if he doesn't mean them in that manner.

However, like I said, Hazel noted Leo's been stressed, not sleeping, and angrier than usual at the beginning of HoH. Leo blames himself for what happened to Annabeth and Percy. Leo is starting to think he'll probably die, and he's horribly lonely. Maybe he has been razzing Frank more offpage, and we just don't see it written. But because we do not see Leo explicitly dig at Frank's weight or looks or intelligence, I am personally still more of the opinion that it's the product of Mars/Ares.

We then get this scene

Frank says Leo had stopped making jokes at his expense here, but again, not trying to beat a dead horse at this point, we've not really seen Leo do that at all this book. Frank now has more confidence and feels more worthwhile in his place on the Argo after his Venice battle- I think Frank is now less insecure and those voices are piping in less. Again, I could be wrong, but this seems very similar to last book. Frank spent the majority of the book being very antagonist, then wonders why on earth Leo would be nervous around him. There's things clouding Frank's judgement that clear up, and suddenly, he's getting on with Leo much better. Shocker.

(that being said Frank does suggest leaving Leo in Croatia just for making a pun not even at his expense, so make of that what you will lmao)

Reaching the Calypso chapters, there's a lot I could get into. I'll eventually do a break down on just them and why I don't love caleo, but I'll save that for another day. Still - Frank is someone Leo actually makes a point of trying to help once he finds out Calypso has fireproof fabric.

Frank is his friend in Leo's mind, someone he wants to save too. Leo is big on trying to save people. I wonder why, definitely didn't come from childhood trauma or watching his mom burn to death or anything. Moving on.

Finally, Leo returns from Ogygia, Frank is said to have patted him so hard on the back it made Leo wince. Clearly he hates him.

But in all seriousness I think the slow progression of Leo and Frank's relationship is one of the better done character developments in HoO. It's slow, it's subtle it culminates in Frank hugging him next book, and Frank using Leo and Jason as inspiration for using up his wood piece.

The big scene to finish off this book are these pages. If Frank hated Leo, if he felt like Leo was only ever mocking him, trying to hurt his feelings, this would not have happened.

Frank trusts Leo.

Leo trusts Frank.

They're not afraid of each other anymore, they're not scared. They mutually trust one another and know they'll have each other's backs.

That is why Leo trusts only Frank and Hazel with his plan in the next book.