#when writing your Standard Fantasy Man it’s really good as a frame of reference

[vigilskeep]

you are in quite the lotr mood lately it’s delightful

i think about eowyn one time and i black out only to wake up days later muttering about hobbitses

[moon-in-daylight]

Night Watch / Davos x reader

Summary: Waking up in the middle of the night, you notice that Davos is gone.

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: Smut implied

A/N: So, I’ve been rewatching Davos’ scenes and I felt the need to write something for him even though it’s garbage lol  because he deserves to be loved and accepted and also because we need more Davos’ fics

Still half asleep, you rolled on your side just to find that the other half of the bed was empty.

It took more than a few seconds for you to be startled by it, though. It wasn’t a strange thing after all, you were far more than accustomed to sleeping alone in that enormous and lonely bed night after night… But as your numbed brain tried to remember the circumstances in which you had fallen asleep, you found that something - or rather someone - was missing.

Davos.

Thinking about him immediately made you open your eyes and sit up to inspect the room with worry. Even though it was still dark you had to blink a few times to adjust your eyes, squinting them involuntarily when you tried to look at the blinding screen of your phone. It was 3:24 am and there was no sign of another person being there with you, at least none that your barely conscious state could perceive.

Your first reaction was to think that you had dreamt it all. It was the most logical, plausible explanation. It wouldn’t have been the first time that your subconscious made you think of Davos like that.

You didn’t feel proud of it, but from time to time you couldn’t help but fantasize about him.

Sometimes, when you two were together and he was telling you some anecdote about K’un-Lun and his early life, your mind involuntarily focused on the movement of his mouth instead of on whatever story he was sharing with you. And while contemplating his lips, you usually found yourself daydreaming about kissing them, feeling them against your skin as you pictured the way his hands would roam through your body. Imagining how he would eagerly remove every piece of clothing and the way his skin would feel against yours, how sweet his moans would sound in your ears as he thrusted slowly but deeply into you…

You were usually quick to snap out of those fantasies, but even if you had only been distracted for a few seconds, you weren’t able to quiet the embarrassment that took over you after imagining him that way. You barely could look at him in the eye after having your attention drifted away by those thoughts.

The friendship you shared was vital for the both of you and you didn’t want to ruin it with unrequited feelings.

You had met after he had escaped prison and, since the first moment after he had rescued you from being mugged, you felt safe with him. The tranquility you felt while being with him was such that you even offered him to stay at your place when he casually mentioned he was running away from justice. It was a risky decision to let a stranger into your apartment that easily, especially when he was a convicted criminal that chattered all kinds of nonsense about dragons and rightfulness, but you could see his intentions were good. There was something in you that trusted him blindly, even when you were convinced that the things he talked about didn’t exist.

It wasn’t until you observed with your very own eyes the way he made his fist glow a bright red during one of his training sessions that you realized that everything he talked about was real.

Hearing his story and how his home had been destroyed, you were quick to position yourself by his side. You knew he had done some bad things, but he was good at heart and you tried to help him see where he had gotten wrong. Surprisingly, he seemed to listen to you and care about what you had to say. It was clear he cared about you too, worrying whenever he saw you weren’t feeling good or taking care of you when you were ill.

It was heartwarming the way you supported one another despite your radically different backgrounds, the way you helped each other improve and see the world from another point of view. It didn’t take long for Davos to become one of the most important people in your life.

Finding out about each other issues and going through them together had been extremely helpful for you both. To talk about them and listen to each other’s advice when you didn’t know what to do. Davos had been through a lot of abuse during his life, and you liked to think that he had finally found in you someone to rely on, just as you had in him.

As he taught you to meditate and control your anxiety, you tried to make him see that he was a person worthy of dignity and affection, not ‘the second best’ as he had been told after losing the Iron Fist to Danny Rand back in K’un-Lun…

It wasn’t easy to erase the toll that years of constant abuse had left, but you had made so much progress while being together… You feared that you would be throwing it all away if he ever found out about your little fantasies. You didn’t want him to know what you felt for him because the last thing you wanted was to make him uncomfortable, especially because you knew how he had been raised and what he thought of sex. And, of course, he had told you how violent his only ‘sexual experience’ had been like…

But the images of him being all over you still creeped into your dreams from time to time, and your half-awaken, dazed-self supposed that was exactly what was happening that night.

Yet, as you slowly roused, you found that the sensations that your mind recreated were too intense to be fictional this time. In fact, you almost could feel as if his touch still lingered on your skin, the phantom feeling of hot, gentle kisses remaining on your neck and collarbone. That was when your mind finally cleared up and you realized it had actually happened.

You had slept with Davos.

Your mind slowly went through the events of that late evening, remembering that you had had dinner together and that you had watched a film in your couch afterwards.

It was normal that he didn’t get most of the inside jokes and implications of American culture in movies considering he had been living in a monastery most of his life, so you always enjoyed sitting in front of the TV with him and explaining every cultural reference that confused him. But that night he hadn’t asked you a single question, nor showed any of his usual discomfort towards the disgraceful and reproachable way in which the characters acted.

Not giving his silence a second thought, you quietly watched the movie until a sex scene appeared.

Looking at your friend from the corner of your eye, you watched him squirm uncomfortably on his sit, the images probably taking him back to the humiliating moment of his ‘sacrifice’, as he usually referred to that unfortunate event.

“We can fast forward this part.” You were quick to grab the remote and skip the frames until a different scene appeared on the screen.

“Have you been practicing lately?” He asked, unprompted. It took you a moment to realize he was actually talking about the Kung Fu lessons he had been imparting you.

As soon as you shook your head, he encouraged you to leave the movie half way through and go over some of the movements he had already taught you in previous training sessions. Truth was you weren’t really into what you were watching anyway, and you supposed it was too awkward for him to keep watching it. Since you had been the one to ask him to teach you how to fight, you willingly got up from the couch and started to show him the little progress you had made.

He didn’t let you finish showing him, though, as he immediately started to point out the flaws in your inexperienced technique, correcting your posture and reminding you to breathe properly to channel your Chi into your every move.

Davos was a harsh professor and he wouldn’t forgive a single mistake from you, telling you that you couldn’t afford to commit any error in battle, as your enemy wouldn’t miss a chance of exploiting your weaknesses. As demanding as he was, you knew that he was being especially tender and easy going with you, at least by his standards. It broke your heart to think about the strict way he had been trained and raised, how severe they had been with him when he was only a child.

Following his instructions, you started to throw punches and kicks at him, attacks that he easily blocked without breaking a sweat. You were definitely glad that you didn’t have to actually fight against him, being well aware that he would be able to end you in the span of ten seconds, maybe even less.

“You have to hit stronger.” His voice commanded you. “Faster.”

You did as you were told and increased the effort put in the fight, but immediately stopped the second he didn’t avoid your punch and your fist impacted against his chest.

“Don’t stand still.” He grabbed your hand and pushed it away. “Now you got it, come on.”

Without saying a single word, you resumed your offensive with the same intensity of that last punch. Unluckily for you, Davos seemed to be more alert now, anticipating each and every one of your movements before you even knew you were going to make them. With a few swift motions, he easily overpowered you, immobilized both of your arms and pinned you against the wall.

You tried to steady your breathing as you did your best to ignore what his proximity was arousing inside of you. Waiting for him to release you for another round, you found yourself growing more and more tense when he simply stared at you in silence, uncomfortably swallowing the lump in your throat when his grip on you didn’t loosen up.

The images of every time you had dreamt about him clouded your mind without you being able to do anything to ignore them, the growing heat between your legs becoming more unbearable with every second his deep brown eyes kept fixed on you. You closed your eyes in hopes that you could distract yourself, think of anything other than the man standing in front of you. But every attempt at doing so immediately failed when you felt the warmth of his lips pressing against yours.

Getting out of your thoughts, you rubbed your eyes as you recalled everything that had happened from that moment. The last thing you remembered the feeling of utter peace and tranquility that invaded you as you fell asleep in his arms.

That calm was completely erased from you now that you realized that he had left in the middle of the night, without saying goodbye or at least leaving a note.

Your heart raced as you mentally slapped yourself for having allowed that to happen.

How could you be so stupid? It was true that it had been him the one to take the first step by kissing you, but you should have known better. You should have figured that he would only disobey his moral code like that in a moment of weakness, a weakness that you had unconsciously taken advantage of. Now he probably had regretted everything and had ran away not wanting to see you or hear from you again.

You feared that your friendship was ruined beyond repair.

Maybe if you called Davos in the morning and talked about what had happened you could still sort it all out. You didn’t want to lose him, to have him walk out of your life just because you had gotten carried away in a moment of lust…

Deep down you knew what you felt for him extended far beyond simple lust, but you were willing to ignore those feelings, to act as if they weren’t there for the sake of keeping him by your side.

You buried your head in the pillow in an attempt to hold back the tears that already started to form inside your eyes, an intense ache inside your chest forming at the thought of having messed up so badly with Davos. He was the person you cared for the most and thinking that you may have caused him any wrong made you feel a profound disappointment on yourself.

It wasn’t until you felt an arm surrounding your waist and a slight shifting on the other side of the bed that you lifted your head, finding Davos laying down next to you again.

“Where were you?” Your voice was a bit husky from having just waken up a few minutes ago. You wanted to lay your head on his chest, but didn’t in case it would make him uncomfortable.

“I was checking the perimeter.” He said, as if it was the most natural thing to do at 3:00 am. “Did I wake you?”

You carefully shook your head as you avoided looking into his eyes.

Judging by the calm tone in which he spoke, you could tell that he wasn’t angry and you felt slightly stupid for having panicked and jumped into the conclusion that he had abandoned you so fast. Still, things weren’t solved up yet. As you finally looked up at him, you wondered in which state was your relationship at.

Davos had been taught that a living weapon should not get involved sexually or emotionally with anyone. And, even if you always tried to convince him that he was a person before a warrior, you weren’t sure he actually believed your words. You weren’t even sure he had ever even considered having a romantic relationship before that evening, but looking at the way he lovingly stared at you, it almost seemed as if he wanted you too.

“What would you check the perimeter for?” You asked in confusion. Was he in danger? Had Danny found him and wanted to bring him to justice? You started to become preoccupied as you thought of all the worse scenarios.

“I do it every night. This neighborhood is full of thugs and criminals, like the one trying to mug you when we first met.” He clarified, gaining a frown from you that silently asked him to explain further. You only hoped he hadn’t gone back to being a ‘vigilante’, it had taken you a lot of effort to talk him out of it. “By making guard I can make sure you’re safe.”

Instantly after hearing his words you felt your heart warming up, moved by the fact that he cared about you to the point of watching over you every night. Hesitantly, you got closer to him and taking the fact that he didn’t pulled back as a silent sign of consent, you placed a tender kiss on his lips.

“Thank you for taking care of me, but you don’t need to make guard every night.” You gently brushed your fingers against his stubble, your eyes on his as you spoke softly. “You need to take care of yourself and get a full night of sleep. Would you do that for me?”

The second he slowly nodded his head a gentle smile formed on your face. You pressed your lips against his once more before cuddling beside him, letting your head rest on his shoulder.

The calming sound of his breathing was enough to quickly made you sleepy again.

“Davos,” You mumbled his name with your eyes closed, feeling consciousness slowly fading from you. “I love you.”

You were too numbed to notice, but Davos’ body clenched at your words. You didn’t know, but it was the first time someone ever dedicated those words to him. He had fought all his life to get approval, travelled to the other side of the world to make the ones he loved proud, hoping they would show him the affection he had always craved for. When K’un-Lun was destroyed, he lost all hope of having someone say those words to him, of gaining someone’s love. And yet, there you were, right between his arms.

You were already asleep when he pressed a kiss on your forehead.

“I love you too.”

[ansheofthevalley]

“The villain is the hero of the other side”. On heroism, hard choices and repercusions (Part I)

I was inspired to write this meta by @a-redqueenofthewolves-love post about GOT and how it’s set to defy conventions previously set in the fantasy genre.

Disclaimer: This will be show-centric. I will try to expose how certain motifs from The Iliad are present in GOT, and how some of the elements for Homer’s epic might guide us going into season 8.

GRRM has said, time and time again, that ASOIAF and GOT is about human conflict in an epic fantasy setting. It’s a story about the human heart in conflict with itself. 

When trying to compare ASOIAF with other works of literature, LOTR is the first that comes to mind for obvious reasons. But another might as well be Homer’s the Iliad.

Wrath and War

The Iliad, the great epic by definition, revolves around the Trojan War, but the war is not the argument but the frame of the story. The argument is focused on wrath (in the original text in greek, μῆνιν [ménis], which means wrath is the first word of the epic). The same happens with GOT. The show is framed by war: the War of the Five Kings, Daenerys’ wars in Essos, Daenerys’ War of Conquest and most recently, the War for the Dawn. But all of these wars are just a frame: the argument focus on the treachery between the different Houses of Westeros, the race for power (how it corrupts and breaks people), and survival, which sometimes include making hard, not-so-honorable choices. But the matter of wrath is also present. Vengeance, sometimes presented as what it is, sometimes presented as “justice”, is always present. But that doesn’t mean the show is exclusively driven by vengeance. No, some characters seek it, but others truly seek justice. Only that in GOT, there’s a fine line between the two. Vengeance ties perfectly to the motif of power, that serves as the backbone of the series. The most important characters chase it or fall victims to its clutches. All of the characters are pieces of a game, in which their decisions will be key, it’s what they do (or don’t do) that will determine if they stay in the game or not.

GRRM says in this interview:

GRRM: I’ve always been interested in writing what I call “gray characters,” and not painting in shades of black or white. A lot of fantasy novels portray the clash between good and evil as the heart of the novel — as the thematic core. And I certainly think that’s a valid thematic core for a book, but as I look on that, the fight between good and evil is not fought on a battlefield, where one side is wearing white and the other side is wearing black, and the guys in black are all really ugly and they eat human flesh, and they have horns and stuff.

Interviewer: Like in Tolkien!

GRRM: [...] I think the battle between good and evil is fought all over the world, every day, in the individual human heart, as we all struggle with the choices that define us and define our lives. And we have to choose what we are going to do, and sometimes the choice is not easy; it’s not this absolute juxtaposition of the good guys and the bad guys. And I wanted to get to that with my characters, and show some of the difficulties that they face.

We bare witness to this in GOT from the very first season. I might even say the series premiere with Jaime, Cersei and Bran. There you have what would appear by all standards a “perfect knight”, dressed all in white, beautiful, commanded with the protection of the King and his family. Then you have a beautiful Queen, who by all standards, should be fair and good, the twin sister of the “perfect knight”. And, last but not least, you have a curious child, one with dreams of becoming a knight, just like Jaimie Lannister. But it’s all turned up on its head when we discover that things are not what they seem: the “perfect knight” pushes a kid out of a window after he discovers him and the Queen having an incestuos relationship. The knight dressed in white is not perfect and  the beautiful Queen is not good. 

Another example of this is the Night’s Watch, which is a twist on the “Dark Is Evil” trope. The Night’s Watch is a group of men that are sworn to the protection of the realm. They do not partake in politics, they stay neutral, since their task is to defend the people of Westeros from northern threats. But the sworn brothers are dressed in black, head to toe.

But the whole Light Is Not Good versus Dark Is Not Evil is just a way to make the audience understand that these characters break the mold: the knight in white, shining armor is not good, the beautiful queen plots to murder her husband, the beautiful, young prince is cruel, even the honorable Starks can seek vengeance, we have two noble sisters: one an outcast that ends up on the run and the would-be princess ends up captive in a castle. But things changes: the knight finds a way to find honor, the murderous, treacherous queen loses power, the cruel prince is murdered, the Starks trusts the wrong people, the noble lady on the run becomes a master assassin and the other one manages to escape her captors.

GOT showed us what war does to people, how it changes them. It showed us that the heroes can go down a dark path and do bad things just as the bad guys can change and do good. And now that it’s coming to an end, there are no clear good guys/bad guys. We have a slate of characters with their traits, good and bad, who made a series of choices, good and bad, who are or will be in conflict with one another. From Daenerys’ perspective, Cersei is a villain, and viceversa. From House Stark’s perspective, Cersei is a clear villain and Daenerys a rival. It’s all matter of perspective at this point, and you can see that from the different arguments the characters use to explain their actions.

(gif not mine)

It all comes down to what the characters choose to do

In another interview with Rolling Stone, he says:

GRRM:  It’s sad to say, but I do think there are things worth fighting for. Men are still capable of great heroism. But I don’t necessarily think there are heroes. That’s something that’s very much in my books: I believe in great characters. We’re all capable of doing great things, and of doing bad things. We have the angels and the demons inside of us, and our lives are a succession of choices.

This is something that also happens in the Iliad: it’s a succession of choices that trigger an unstoppable series of events. Whether it’s Paris’ choice to abduct Helen while he was a guest at Menelau’s home (a huge insult, since he violated the rituals of xenia, which refer to hospitality and are protected by Zeus) that triggers the Trojan War, Agamenmon’s choice of taking Briseus from Achilles which triggers Achilles’ refusal to fight in the war, which at the same time, Achilles’ decision triggers Patroclus’ death at the hands of Hector, which will bring the death of Hector at the hands of a vengenful Achilles. 

You see, all the men from the Iliad are considered heroes/are described with heroic qualities. From the aechean side, the heroes were Agamenmon, Menelaus, Achilles (to a certain extent, I’ll explain later), Oddyseus, Ajax the Great, Diomedes and Nestor. They’re only a few examples. From the trojan side we have Hector, which represents the civic and patriotic values a man should have. He’s a man that fights to defends his family and city: “Fight for your country-that is the best, the only omen!” he says to a frightened Polydamas in the middle of battle. Other heroes linked with Troy are Polydamas, Aeneas, Memnon, Sarpedon, amongst others.

As I said before: all these men are heroes to their own and are described by Homer with heroic qualities. But that doesn’t mean they are not percieved as villains. 

Jean-Pierre Vernant, an eminence in the fields of Ancient Greek history and anthropology, said this about the Achilles/Hector dynamic: “There’s no hero if there is no monster to fight and slay”. And that’s exactly what they are to each other. For Achilles, Hector is the murderer of his dear friend Patroclus; For Hector, Achilles is a fearsome greek trying to invade and destroy his city. They both have to slay the monster that is the other, let it be for survival or vengeance.

They’re both heroes, they’re both villains. They both make good and bad choices, choices that will later influence the story, to their benefit or not.

I’d like to go back to GRRM. What is it about characters like Achilles and Hector and their fight at the climax of the Iliad that sparks his interest?:

Martin said that this ongoing discussion in his literature is tied to the dichotomy of any conflict, especially where moral truth is concerned. “I think one of the themes of the book is the examination of heroism,” said Martin. “I have always been fascinated with [the idea], the villain is the hero of the other side.The great fight in the Illiad between Achilles and Hector is in some ways my model more so than fights between a hero and villain traditionally are. What constitutes a hero? Is a hero always a hero?”

The answer the Iliad gives us to that question is: no. A hero is not always a hero, or better put, a hero doesn’t always behave like one. 

The prime example of this in Homer’s epic is Achilles. In the last moments of Hector’s life, Achilles denies him a proper funeral. This is an act hubris. To understand the gravity of Achilles’ actions: funerals rites were very important, as it served as a way to prepare the soul to leave the world of the living and go to the Underworld. If a person was unburied, their soul couldn’t cross the Acheron river, thus not entering the Underworld, their soul remaining lost until they are properly buried. After he kills Hector, he ties him to the end of his chariot, dragging Hector’s body through the dirt. He continues to defile Hector’s body for twelve days, until he’s convinced by the gods to return the body to the father, Priam.

Achilles chooses to do this, knowing it’s wrong, as the aechean camp had just celebrated the funeral games in honor of Patroclus. He chooses to do this, blinded by wrath, and it ultimately has its consequences.

In GOT, there are a lot of examples of this. But I want to focus on characters that are still alive. The theme of the blinding wrath shows us how it can drive the characters to make certain choices that will have unfortunate consequences for them. Because when the characters put their wrath above all else it’s an act of hubris, and those don’t go unpunished. And that punishment brings another act of hubris, let it be by the same person or someone avenging them, and it goes on and on until there’s no one left, or until people turn from their wrath. And this is something we can see in season 7. How the characters play the Big Game indicate us their possible ending: characters driven by wrath, characters driven by vengeance, characters driven by justice, characters driven by survival, characters driven by power. 

Let’s start with one of the clearest examples the show has to offer: Cersei

I know Cersei isn’t considered a hero in the story, but her example helps illustrate the point.

Season 6 ended with Cersei blowing up the Sept of Baelor, and the Tyrells and the High Sparrow/Faith Militant with it.

She commited mass murder and she blew up a holy place. And by the smirk she has on her face as she watches it go all green, she doesn’t show any semblant of remorse. And why should she? From her perspective, she just got rid of all the people that were a threat to her and her family. She killed her enemies. But all of these things can be considered acts of hubris. Why?

Cersei’s actions drove her last remaining son to kill himself. The punishment to her hubris was as cruel as her actions. Now she lost all of her children: Joffrey poisoned by Olenna and Littlefinger; Myrcella poisoned by Ellaria in response to Oberyn’s death and you could say that Tommen died by her hand, even if it was indirectly.

But it also leads to this:

She got the throne; the price was his son. From that moment on, she becomes a dangerous yet fragile monarch: she has nothing else to lose, except her crown, the thing that gives her power and is keeping her alive.

So, she begins season 7 being very realistic of her prospects:

“Enemies to the East, enemies to the West, enemies to the South, enemies to the North” she says. She’s well aware of her situation. She’s got Daenerys, Olenna, Ellaria and the Starks (Jon and Sansa) to deal with. She knows how the game is played and is not going to give up when she just secured the Iron Throne. She fights, with Jaime by her side, for the honor of House Lannister. And she intends to win. She was the one that introduced us to the nature of the game back in season 1, after all:

(gif not mine)

And fight she does. She launches a successful (and very profitable) attack on Highgarden with the Lannister army. The threat in the West is eliminated. She also attacks part of Daenerys’ fleet, with the help of Euron Greyjoy. In that attack she eliminates the threat in the South and weakens the threat in the East. Against all odds, she is winning the war for the throne. Why? She takes advantage of her enemies’ flaws. She knows her southern enemies, except for Daenerys, are not after the throne but her. They seek revenge: Olenna for her family and Ellaria for Oberyn. So she uses it against them. Another thing playing on her favor is her pathos: being her father’s daughter, she chooses her words carefully with her allies: the Westerosi Lords. She appeals to them through the way she knows best, fear. She tells them that the Mad King’s daughter is there to invade Westeros, to kill everyone that opposses her in a cruel way (she mentions the crucifixion of the Masters), to use her three dragons on their castles and lands, and that she marches in with an army of rapists and pillagers. That little speech is enough to secure her the loyalty of the Westerosi nobles. She puts herself as the lesser bad out of the two options available. But it doesn’t last long, because of the Field of Fire 2.0 (I’ll talk about it in depth when discussing Daenerys). So by the end of the season we have Cersei with not so many allies, but with gold, with the support of the Iron Bank and ties with the Golden Company. 

So what’s next for Cersei? Her fall. Throughout the show, her quest has been one of power and survival, both so intricately tied. For her, there wasn’t survival without power. This has become clearer since the murder of Tywin. But here’s the thing, her pursuit of power wasn’t just for survival, it’s been for the last few seasons, but not always. She wanted power for the sake of having it. And this pursuit only turned more and more violent: first she used people, then she threatened and hurt them, then killed them. It was an act of hubris right after the other, but somehow she’s Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. That doesn’t mean she hasn’t been punished. Her punishments are tied to prophecy. She has lost everything that mattered to her (her children), that’s punishment enough. But the prophecy told by Maggy the Frog didn’t stop there: a younger, more beautiful queen would come to cast her down, after taking everything from her. Of course, Cersei believed Margaery was the younger, more beautiful queen and blowing up the Sept was a way to putting and end to that. But we all know Margaery wasn’t it, simply because prophecies are not what they seem. She has Jaime, she has her crown. Which of those two is more important to her? Who will take them from her? The thing is that by just losing one of the two, she weakens. The crown grants her power, that’s obvious, but Jaime is the commander of her army, and in that sense, he brings her a sense of protection, as the military leader of their House while she is the political leader. He’s the only family she’s got left (that she cares for), he’s also her lover. And we see Jaime riding North by the end of the season, to honor his pledge to fight against the White Walkers. So it seems she’s already losing her grasp on Jaime. What he does in season 8 will not only impact him, but also her. Another thing to keep in mind, we’ve never had Cersei be alone. She’s always been surrounded by her family, but one by one they’ve been either taken out of the game or switched sides. So that’s something to be mindful of. 

So we have a villain-coded character, who’s a hero in her mind, that committed countless acts of hubris and been punished for them. But that hasn’t stopped her, and she goes for the most important thing for her: power. It’s the only way she thinks she can survive. Only that her way to secure power isn’t the right one, so she keeps on making terrible choices. But all this time, she’s been driven by something else: prophecy. All her actions have been tied to this, she’s been mindful of it, but the prophecy still came true. So, in an act of defiance, she interferes and thinks she put an end to the prophecy/omen, but it’s something that will be part of her undoing. In Greek Literature is perfectly clear: an omen is a sign of the gods, whether it’s a warning or a blessing, and humans must obide. When they don’t, it’s considered as an act of hubris. Tommen’s death and her coronation weren’t the only repercussion to this action, they were the beginning of the end for Cersei. She still has to pay for this, and the ones to collect will be the younger, more beautiful queen and the Valonqar.

So, let’s go talk heroes.

First, let’s start with Arya

Season 7 opened with Arya wearing the face of Walder Frey, with the goal of avenging the events of the Red Wedding. She accomplishes her goal, erasing House Frey from the map.

Arya is one of the undesputed heroes of GOT. But still, she decimated House Frey. But it’s linked with the theme of vengeance and justice, as I explained in the beggining. There’s a fine line between vengeance and justice in the world of GOT, and Arya is one of those characters that’s constantly walking that line. She was driven by wrath, but she was also driven by a sense of justice.

The killing of the Freys hasn’t stopped Arya. There are still some people on her list. So she heads to King’s Landing.

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But her wrath stops when she finds out about Jon and Winterfell.

Her family and home have a stronger pull on her than wrath, so she puts her quest for vengeance/justice aside, for a while, at least .

But it wasn’t long till there was discord in Winterfell, thanks to Littlefinger

Arya and Sansa were at odds again, with the difference that they weren’t children anymore. Both of them learned to survive against all odds, no matter what.

Arya was still mad about what happened in King’s Landing, and all it took was the scroll Sansa was forced to write to Robb to revive that anger. Putting the writing aspect of the Winterfell plot aside, at this point of the story, Arya had two choices: hold on to that anger, let her wrath be her guide, or put her wrath aside and be one with her pack, something the three starklings had to learn last season. They’ve been on their own since season 1, learned how to survive on their own (when I say on their own, I mean that they didn’t have any other relative to rely on). And this was particularly hard for Arya, she’s been a lone wolf since the start, from when she felt like an outcast within her family, when she was on the run with the Hound, to her time in the House of Black and White.

(A personal note here: I don’t think Arya really considered killing Sansa, just as I don’t think Sansa really considered having Arya killed. Littlefinger used Sansa and Arya’s weak points and exploited them. It was making sure she doubted Sansa and then it would all unfold perfectly. He knew Arya would come off as threatening, and Sansa would be scared and in need to talk to someone about it. Of course, he would be the one that listened to Sansa’s worries, and stir them into the scenario he desired. But Littlefinger blew it when he insinuated Arya would kill her so she could be Lady of Winterfell, something Sansa knows very well her sister would never want. This is what prompted Sansa to check with Bran, and the rest is history)

But the sisters worked it through, and with the help of Bran, the three as a pack took down another threat:

So we have a hero whose arc throughout the series has been driven by vengeance/justice. In season 7 she has some safety, for she returns to Winterfell. But that doesn’t mean she’s free from her wrath. There are still monsters to fight and slay, only that she’s been on her own for so long that she’s suspcious of everyone. She also finds herself trapped in the machinations of one of her enemies, only this enemy works in the shadows, someone unbeknownst to her. He goes planting little seeds and waits for the reaping. It isn’t until she and her siblings work as a unit that they defeat their common enemy. In Arya we have a hero that let go of her blinding wrath. That fine line she’s been walking on since season 1, the line between vengeance and justice, got a little bit clearer, and now she’s on the side of justice, alongside her pack. 

But what’s coming for Arya in season 8? Problems, but this time she’ll have to learn to find a solution to them as part of a unit, not alone. The thing about Arya is that she’s been on her own for so long, she relies entirely on her instincts. But she’s no longer on her own, she has her pack, and every one of them have their own instincts, so finding solutions to pressing problems (one will be the parenting reveal) will be crucial for her character. There’s also the matter of vengeance/justice. Her storyline has been driven by this since season 1. But as stated before, there’s a fine line between the two in GOT. What exactly is vengeance? Is it still justice if the deed is the same or worse the one done to you? She’s been walking that fine line throughout the show, but only with her kills of season 7 we can say with certainty that those were acts of justice. Putting the personal aspect of it aside (as revenge is always personal), those kills can be considered justice because of the way they were executed. She gave the Freys a reasonably clean and quick death, compared to what they’ve done to her family. It’s the same with Littlfinger, only there was a trial for him and his treachery was exposed for all the Lords to see. Having that in mind, she’s a highly skilled assassin but won’t kill just because she can. She, as part of the pack and with them, will be in charge of imparting justice. So a new question arises. We’ve seen Arya as an avenger of her family. But now that she has reunited with her siblings, paired with the skills she has, now she can be a protector.

Who will be at the end of Needle/the dagger this time?

So, that’s it for now. I’ll talk about the remaining key players in a second post.

This meta will also be part of a series, in which I take different elements of the Iliad and compare them to GOT and its characters/story.

[garrettauthor]

Feedback on trans rep appreciated:

If you’ve been around a while, you’ll know that I made a huge mistake with trans representation in The Mindmage’s Wrath, the second book in the Academy Journals. (If you haven’t, I did, and I apologize to you newly).

One thing I promised to do to address the issue was include a foreword in the book. I’ve now written that foreword and consulted with some trans readers in my Discord server. They suggested some improvements, which I implemented.

I’m opening it up for wider critique and input before I go to publish. Of course, there’s no obligation whatsoever to contribute. But if you’d be willing, I’d be eternally grateful. The foreword is under the cut:

FOREWORD

In this book, you’ll meet a character. Her name is Perrin of the family Arkus, and she is a new instructor at the Academy.

Perrin is also trans.

There’s a good chance, if you’re reading this, that you already know Underrealm was designed to be an inclusive and diverse fantasy world. That might be why you wanted to read it in the first place.

When I wrote Underrealm’s first series, the Nightblade Epic, I made the High King Enalyn, a trans woman. (For those who don’t know, “King” and “Queen” are gender-neutral terms, and there are kings and queens of various genders across the nine kingdoms.)

As with Perrin—or with most other Underrealm characters—her trans-ness was not a huge component of her story. It was simply a part of who she was. Many readers were pleased with the decision and liked seeing Enalyn in this world. But, too, some trans readers reached out to me with more information.

Enalyn’s experience is not universal. She is what we would call entirely “passing”—that is, you wouldn’t know she was trans if you met her on the street.

(I have to interject here: I, personally, really dislike the word “passing,” because it implies its own position towards one end of a spectrum, and the other end would be “failing.” This is a sentiment I have seen my trans readers express, and I share in their frustration. However, it’s not my word or my community. And for the purposes of this foreword, I’m not aware of another word that communicates the same idea as succinctly. I checked with readers before using it here, but it was the best any of us could do.)

Some trans people are not able to achieve a “passing” look for themselves. Others do not want to. People in both groups are entirely, 100% valid. And it seemed clear that they would like to see themselves in Underrealm as well.

Thus, Perrin. Perrin is trans, but she did not feel the need to transition to a “passing” standard. She was big—and I mean, truly big, all her life, and from her family she inherited a great, shaggy mass of hair. If you imagine a close relative of Hagrid from Harry Potter, but with a much sharper mind, you’d have a good idea of how I imagine her. Not that my imagination is anything but marginally more important than anyone else’s.

Just how far did she transition? Who knows. It’s not my business. Maybe she just shaves and wears feminine clothing. It doesn’t matter. She’s a trans woman.

And so she was introduced. Most of the readers who had come from the Nightblade Epic, and who had raised the issue with me in the first place, seemed pleased.

And then, earlier this year, the Academy Journals got a huge promotional boost online. A huge flood of readers found and began reading the series—partially because of the representation they had heard was in it.

These were brand-new readers. They had never read the Nightblade Epic, and they had never been involved in the discussion around Enalyn, and thus, Perrin.

I had made a huge mistake.

For reference, here is the paragraph that introduces Perrin:

There behind the lectern was, quite simply, the most massive woman he had ever seen. Her shoulders seemed to stretch as wide as Ebon’s arm span, and though the ceiling was at least a pace above her head, her stature made it seem that she might bump against it. Huge hands gripped the lectern’s edges and nearly enveloped it, and her dark grey instructor’s robes strained mightily to contain her frame. Her eyes seemed small compared to the rest of her ruddy features, yet they sparkled with interest even when the sunlight missed them. Ebon thought this woman looked nothing like a wizard, but rather a mighty warrior of campfire legend, stripped of armor and shrouded instead in cloth, against which her body tried to rebel.

That description made existing Underrealm readers, who cared about trans representation, say, “Oh, cool! She’s an absolute brick shithouse!” It’s a body type women aren’t often allowed to have in media. It is, I hope, its own sort of progressive statement to have a woman like this appear in a story, and never, for one second, have anyone question her identity or her femininity.

Without all of the context I’ve presented here, however, it could also be interpreted that this description is how I view trans women in general.

This point was brought up by a reader who was wonderfully thoughtful and, despite speaking in a moment of pain that I myself had caused, exceptionally kind. They were also willing to converse with me about how to remedy the situation, though they were under no obligation to do so. The feedback that they and others provided was incredibly invaluable, and I am eternally grateful to everyone who has weighed in. Yes, even those who were angry with me. Can you blame them?

I’d like to stress that I don’t want to justify or minimize this mistake. I was trying to handle a problem, and that specific problem was addressed, to the satisfaction of those who had brought it up. After the problem came up, someone suggested I change Perrin’s description, that I make her smaller, more “typically” feminine, more “passing.” I didn’t want to do that, for obvious reasons. To do so would leave some of my own readers out in the cold.

But it was my responsibility, as a creator, to foresee that my solution would create this new problem. I didn’t predict that. That’s not okay, and it’s entirely my responsibility.

After a lot of conversations with people who, again, weren’t obligated to help me, and to whom I am exceptionally grateful, here is what I promised to do to fix the situation:

Early in the next Academy Journals book, I’m going to introduce at least one other trans character who will counterpoint Perrin the same way Enalyn was supposed to.

In the next book, I will handle the “reveal” of Perrin’s transness. Now, I already decided long ago that no trans character was going to be “outed”—i.e., revealed against their will. That will still be the case. I will figure out a way for Perrin to bring it up in a conversation that is natural and which Perrin can discuss on her own terms. There is absolutely no transphobia in Underrealm, and this conversation will reflect that.

I will use the above reveal to explicitly address the concerns about how Perrin was first introduced and characterized, using it as a lesson to teach non-trans readers that the way a trans person presents is no business of anyone else and is not a refutation of their gender identity. I will, again, do this in a way that contains no transphobia, and makes it entirely a matter of Perrin’s agency.

In the books I write before the next Academy Journals book, I will ensure to include multiple new trans characters representing a variety of genders and body types to further stress the diversity that exists within the trans community.

Finally, I am going to work harder to find and work with more trans authors and trans sensitivity readers. We have some, but I could clearly use more.

As another reader brought up, while these steps may go towards addressing the problem, they still don’t help any new readers who may read The Mindmage’s Wrath without having broader context for trans people in Underrealm.

And thus, this foreword.

When you meet Perrin in this story, I want you to know that she is trans. I want you to know that her appearance, though unconventional in our world, was of her own choosing. And I want you to know that she is not the single representative of trans people or trans culture—no one is. She is part of a wide spectrum of sizes, shapes, and presentations, all of which are valid, all of which are worthy.

She is a trans woman. She is a woman.

There have been no new Academy Journals books since I made the above promises, but they are coming Soon™. In the meantime, if you want to read about other trans characters within Underrealm, I’d recommend our new series, Tales of the Wanderer. The first book, Blood Lust, can be purchased here:

https://underrealm.net/tow1

The narrator of the book, Albern of the family, is a trans man. Future books in that series will have more trans characters.

Albern is also a guest-starring character in two books of the Nightblade Epic, Darkfire and Shadeborn, as well as the short story The Man and the Satyr.

Also in Shadeborn, you will meet the High King Enalyn, a trans woman. She appears again in the novel Weremage.

And there are many more to come.

If you have been a reader for some time, thank you for your patience as I learn how to do this better. If the Academy Journals is your first introduction to Underrealm, welcome. I hope that you enjoy your time here, and that you appreciate the wide, diverse range of characters you’ll find within. I know I sure do.

Garrett Robinson September, 2018

[ahopefuldoubt]

Matters of Representation: The “Chosen One” Archetype, Adoptees, and The Prince of Egypt

originally posted in 2016 [x].  time references are relative to 2016.

This is a post I started drafting in the middle of April (2016), so coming back to it three months later has been like trying to meld together two fairly different frames of mind.  For anyone who reads it, I hope you’ll bear with me as I (continue to) work through things here.  It’s part personal, part purposeful, and probably does not flow well.  My original plan was to write only about the overused “Chosen One” trope and how unsettling it is when that character is an adoptee or foster child.  But it grew a bit beyond that.

Moses gives me pause.  He’s a puzzle I am always trying to reconfigure.  Oftentimes he seems to me like a generic protagonist: another man who receives a call to arms and embarks on a hero’s quest to fulfill his destiny.  Another adoptee who gets saddled with the “Chosen One” label and responsibilities, one who must save the world despite having already lost his original family and history.  A convenient blank slate with no past.

As much as Moses frustrates me as a character, and as little as I identify with him, he’s important to me.  Our relationship is complicated.  :)  (Can you imagine the Facebook status?)

Like a lot of transracial and/or international adoptees, I grew up in a predominantly white community.  My older sister was adopted too, but without her there, I didn’t see myself reflected in my family or in my town.  As a child, I watched animated movies like Anastasia and Dumbo.  Standard fare.  Stories that featured orphans, separation, adoption, reunion.  I was attracted to them.  Anastasia was hugely influential for me.  And I was troubled by them.  Just thinking about the scene where they separate Dumbo from his mother sends me into a tailspin; it’s not a movie I’d voluntarily watch again.  Back then, though, I didn’t have the language to really explain what I was feeling or why, or to even describe these movies as adoption-related.  I did what I think a lot of adoptees do in this situation, and internalized it all: I felt embarrassed about how much I liked Anastasia, but I don’t think many people knew I felt any sort of way about it.

Maybe a contributing factor was that my adoptive parents were from a generation where people didn’t have many discussions about privilege (of all kinds) or about adopting children — especially as white people adopting children who weren’t white.  My parents were not given the language, so they couldn’t approach the subject or teach me how to put a name to my emotions.  There’s more awareness now: Adult adoptees are speaking out and helping to ensure that prospective adoptive parents have these conversations.  Things have improved; however, on the whole, I still see a lot of the same issues.  Whitewashing and colorblindness.  And shoddy representations of adoptees in stories.

It’s been quite a trip to have seen The Prince of Egypt so recently, and to think, finally I can see myself.  This is the representation that I didn’t realize I was missing.  Nothing has been quite the same since I watched this movie.  In many ways, but certainly in that I’m better able to notice and think about all of these adoptee/foster child “Chosen Ones” in stories past, present, and future.

I’m glad that The Prince of Egypt focuses so much on Moses’ relationships with both his adoptive and biological families (including a sense of his own “in-betweenness”).  For one thing, the reunion naturally involves Aaron and Miriam, the character/s I identify with and emote over more.  Furthermore, because it is such an intimate and complex story, there are many layers to the three siblings’ relationships, and their conflicts are allowed to unfold on-screen.  I don’t think movies like Anastasia depict this struggle as well or as profoundly, or even at all.

Reunion has been at the front of my mind for at least six years.  Time feels strange to me; fleeting.  I’ve passed the age my birthmother had me, if the information in my record is real.  My adoptive mother died earlier this year.  Reunion is on my mind constantly.  Is my birthmother still alive?  Did I get my dimples from her?  Does she share my serious outlook on life?  Did she ever contact my birthfather again?  Does my birthfather have the same thick hair?  Was he good to her while they were together?

Am I running out of time to find the answers to any of these questions?  Do I even want to know?  I’ve already hit a couple of snags in my search for her.  I’m afraid to go further.

Reunion is on my mind constantly.  Do I have any younger biological siblings?

But I will never fully be a member of my biological family, should I reunite with them.  It will feel so close, yet so far.  There will be a linguistic divide, a cultural divide.  I won’t quite mold to the shape of my birthmother’s arms.  And this hurts.  I often need to take a giant leap away from the movie and fandom because my emotions surrounding separation and reunion (the one in The Prince of Egypt and my own possible reunion) are so tangible.  A lot of painful stuff has been thrown into light, yet for some, at-times unfathomable reason, I still want to connect to this story, ache for it, find joy in it.  Because through it, I’ve also been able to process some of my own pain and grief.

There have definitely been times where I’ve wished I could identify more with Moses.  Beyond our common adoptee-hood, though, I don’t relate to him on much of a deep or personal level.  What I’ve learned — and accepted — over these past three months is that Moses doesn’t have to be “my adoptee protagonist.”  I don’t even have to like him at times.  Rather, as I wrote, he’s my puzzle.  He raises questions for me.  He makes me think more about how adoptees are represented in stories.

Too many stories use adoption as a convenient plot device.  However, adoption is a lifelong process.  More importantly, it is an identity.  My adoptee identity is with me every time I say my name and people smirk or do a double-take because my name, particularly my full name*** does not match my Asian face.  It is with me when I am asked if I speak Korean, and when I reply, “No,” I feel inadequate, estranged from my heritage and my people.  A blank slate with no past.

Adoption is not a tragic backstory or an obstacle for characters — and people — to overcome.  Yet it seems to be treated as such, or completely brushed aside.  Many weeks ago, at this point, I was talking about this with my best friend and remarked how Disney’s version of Hercules literally has to go through Hell (the Underworld) in order to be considered worthy of reuniting with his birthparents.  Narratively, it’s seen as an act of love and heroism, and I think this is part of the issue: The adoptee “Chosen Ones” in these stories are called on to be superheroes and saviors (and deliverers), to be strong and sound of heart and mind, to be more and more and more.  “Forget and be content.”  But, “don’t you abandon us.”  What’s an adoptee supposed to do with these high and contradictory expectations?

I’m not a Hero(tm).  I don’t want to be one.  Maybe this is why I don’t connect with the “traditional heroes” in stories.  I can’t live up to those kinds of expectations.  Nevertheless, I was raised with them.  I’d wager that many adoptees were, too.  Be grateful.  Be loyal.  Be a part of your adoptive family, but not really.  Be a part of your biological family.  But not really.  At what point does membership become conditional?

I understand that the search for self is universal, and as a result, many characters are made to go through journeys of self-discovery.  The “adoption fantasy,” wherein children (adopted and non-adopted alike) imagine they were adopted, is also a natural developmental phase.  When this “secret identity” trope is evoked in stories, it reads like a shocking plot twist.  However, it’s different for those who have actually lived it.  And there are of course many layers and levels to all of this, bigger pictures and so much to this specific circumstance.  Moses is an adoptee and he is Hebrew: born a slave, then taken and raised by his oppressors, who keep his adoption, his identity and history, from him.  I may consider Moses a puzzle in some ways, but the unethicalness of his relinquishment and adoption is something I will always be rather clear on (critical of).

In the sense that Moses will remain something of a puzzle to me, I’ll continue to find pieces of myself reflected in our “common adoptee-hood.”  I’ll continue to rage at his behavior when he’s a teenager.  I’ll continue to feel every jarring step and moment of happiness in how his siblings process the reunion.  And I’ll always continue to think about stories feature adoption and adoptees.

*** I use my birth name here on Tumblr, but my full legal name is always coded as white.

Last edited: 6/4/17 for clarity

[thefairefolk-rp]

Welcome, Ellie! Your application for Gull has been accepted!

Name/Nickname: Ellie

Age: 24

Preferred Pronouns: She/Her

Timezone: CST (-6:00)

Activity and Availability (Please answer in words as well as rating your availability from 1-10): I’m on nearly every day during typical times! I saw that you ask for 4 posts per week with at least 1 being a para, and I can definitely do that.

POOR TIMING ON MY PART: I actually have a trip coming up Feb 2-10 (Disney World!!!), but I really wanted to send my application in. In fact, if you wanted to wait for me to be fully active until I get back, that’d be fine! I just got excited.

Have you read the rules and FAQ? Yes

IC INFORMATION:

Desired Character: Gull

Second Choice Character: None at the moment! But if I’m not accepted, but you’re still interested in potentially having me, I’d be more than happy to take a look around, or workshop things with you!

What made you choose this character?: I was linked to this group by a really good friend, and I had to dive deeper, and I just fell in absolute love with Gull! I love the Lost Boys-esque feel to the Flock; in fact, that’s what initially drew me to him. Until I have a really strong grasp on what’s happening in this fantasy universe, I think that that frame of reference could help! What I love particularly about Gull is the dichotomy of him still trying to go back to his family, his wild attitude and spirit, and this idea that he hasn’t really bought into the Flock while still really being a part of the flock.

I really love Gull’s contradictions. He’s powerful and wild, grown to an adult but still boyish, irascible but homesick, artistic but active. Those kinds of conflicted, contrary, and contradictory characters –– especially those who are able to then hide that with bravado –– oh man… those characters get my heart.

Are there any changes you would like to make?: Not presently!

Questions/Comments: So I’m coming off the tail-end of a really poor group RP experience, unfortunately. The bulk of it was created because of a lack of communication (either heavily delayed or just a lot of really carefully-crafted non-answers) by the admin team. I wanted to commend you on what I’ve seen on the main blog, as well as having communication standards written right into your rules. That gives me a lot of confidence to try again over here!

Writing Sample (Must be 300 words or more, third person limited, in the character you’re auditioning for’s point of view):

He purposefully took a trip for Nihm which would take him by the coastline. Gull had finished early –– it had been a straightforward in-and-out for the deft-fingered faerie, whose skill with the water came in handy as he beat a hasty retreat through the canals right outside of the city in which he had found himself. It was impossible for him to ignore the fact that his sojourn would take him right past the seaside village of his mother’s people.

His people.

The temptation to sneak in –– just for a moment! only ever a moment –– proved to be too powerful yet again. It had been so long since he last had been within the borders of the Shark Clan, but every rock, shell, and window smacked of nostalgia. Perhaps it had been because his only crime had been following an infatuation, letting himself fall… believing that something that tasted like love would be enough, and that it couldn’t be wrong.

Gull’s steps were feather-light as he padded through, making less noise than the sand in the tide. He knew he was taking a huge risk by being there, by showing his face ( grown as he was ), by being back where he had a name, and a family, and a history. Within these borders, Gull shed his feathers, and he was at once the wide-eyed and boyish-grinned Brahm. To even think the name felt sacrilegious, and to turn away from it completely felt like a betrayal of his own self.

He kept to alleys between the houses and dimly-lit canals through the sea-soaked town. Seraphine glittered past the last line of houses and sea shanties, but he dared go no further than barely-glimpsing the main square full of chandlers, fishmongers, and an achingly-familiar tent where the best oilskins were procured. Gull could feel himself being choked on sentiment as he looked around, his dark eyes trying to recognize and re-memorize every detail they saw.

After a long moment of staring – of craving – a horn in the distance signaled that sailors would be coming in. Gull, startled from his reverie, shouldered his bag of goods for Nihm, sighed, and crept back out, swearing he saw the sharp-chisled and handsome features of his mother as he left, but not letting himself dwell on the thought.

When he was once again out of the boundaries of the Shark Clan, Gull allowed himself to look back, brow furrowed in desperate wanting. Sneaking back in was an exquisite torture he could only handle with years in between –– decades in between. He let one whispered word – a single syllable – travel back to the salt-soaked wind within the coastal town, the tremor of his voice carrying enough tune only to let the word soar.

“Brahm."  

[dweemeister]

A Star Is Born (1937)

Hollywood fame and fortune and everything that goes with it has been a favorite topic of American movies since popular fan-driven culture around the art form has existed. Show People (1928), Sunset Boulevard (1950), and most recently La La Land (2016) have been crafted by Hollywood about Hollywood. One film about Hollywood that has been remade twice and, soon, thrice, is A Star Is Born – originally starring Janet Gaynor and Fredric March, directed by William A. Wellman, and produced by David O. Selznick. The 1954 version starred Judy Garland and James Mason; the 1976 version starred Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson; the 2018 version will star Stefani Germanotta (Lady Gaga’s given name) and Bradley Cooper. I have not seen the 1976 A Star Is Born, and the 1954 remake is the subject of the first write-up I ever published on this blog (it’s short and embarrassing; I knew much less about writing on cinema than I do now... and I still don’t think I’m good at this).

Before A Star Is Born, Hollywood movies about Hollywood painted a rosy picture of the movie industry, where the greatest cinematic talents come to work and where success is no stranger to those to dedicate everything they have. Of course, that image is a sanitized one, and did not apply to countless ethnic and racial minorities, as well as advantaging men over women. Some things just have not changed, obviously (although the industry continues to make improvements), but A Star Is Born has never approached these inequalities from that angle. Nevertheless, it is still within this context that A Star Is Born frames a desire for stardom – the fantasy of what it looks like, the disappointment and personal tragedies that can occur.

Esther Victoria Blodgett (Gaynor) lives in an agricultural North Dakota town with her family. The local movie theater is one of her few means of escape, and she aspires to be the next Greta Garbo, Katharine Hepburn, or Mae West. Everyone in the family disparages those dreams, except Grandmother Lettie (May Robson). Grandmother Lettie lends Esther money for the train ride to and lodgings in Southern California. Esther begins living in a boarding house with other Hollywood hopefuls, like out-of-work assistant director Danny McGuire (Andy Devine), but is stonewalled when the casting agency refuses to accept any more applications for extra parts. Danny pulls some strings and gets Esther a job serving at a high-end Hollywood party. Actor Norman Maine (March) – whose career has been slowly declining – finds himself attracted to Esther, and convinces producer Oliver Niles (Adolphe Menjou) to allow her a screen test. She does well. In the tradition of the old Hollywood Studio System providing their newest contractees stage names, Esther is renamed “Vicki Lester”, and has a sensational debut film starring opposite Norman, her love. But as Norman’s career and mental health continue to tumble, Vicki Lester becomes the world’s darling.

As A Star Is Born was released to theaters, the career trajectories of Janet Gaynor and Fredric March were the reverse of the characters they played. Gaynor (1927′s 7th Heaven and Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans) became a premier box office draw for Fox Film Corporation (renamed “20th Century Fox” in 1935) in the later silent years, but her draw had waned by the mid-1930s, and she retired from the movies in 1939, at age thirty-three – her reason: to seek out other adventures and raise a family. For Fredric March, after years wallowing as an extra with Paramount, breakout leading roles came in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1932) and this film. March sustained an excellent standard of work into a decades-spanning career with highlights such as The Best Years of Our Lives (1946) and Inherit the Wind (1960).

Though March sometimes outperforms his co-star, do not underestimate Gaynor’s ability to sell the small-town-girl to the audience. There is an awkwardness and innocence in her performance as this North Dakotan transplant to Southern California. As the initial wonderment fades into a grind of job searching, Esther finds herself within touching distance of Hollywood royalty, but with the financial comforts of cinematic success galaxies away. When she receives her big break, Esther is a natural at acting (her brief imitations of the most popular American actresses of the 1930s during the party she is waitressing at are a treasure). But when she is no longer in the soundstage shooting a scene, Gaynor believably makes the transition from artifice to reality. As meta as that sounds (movies about Tinseltown tend to be riddled with self-references, whether self-important or satirical), we notice that Esther Blodgett – Vicki Lester – has changed with experience and the long hours her work demands. Compared to Judy Garland’s interpretation of the same role, there is more sunny optimism in Gaynor’s performance compared to Garland’s anxiety and natural melancholy. The latter is the better actress and produces the better performance. Even then, Gaynor’s turn as Esther Blodgett is worthy of acclaim.

March, whose character of Norman Maine is on the descendancy, is heartbreaking. Here, he plays of a man weakened by personal exhaustion, professional disappointment, feelings of worthlessness. His attitude swings are remarkable – at times, displaying a lovely intimacy with Gaynor; other times, going through the motions of a fearsome, drunken rage that frightens onlookers and enthralls the sensationalized press.

Since five years ago after viewing the 1954 Judy Garland-James Mason remake for the first time and dealing with my own mental health problems, your reviewer has become more sensitive to the portrayal of mental illness in movies – I am no expert, nor are my problems perfectly transferable to a piece of fiction or to the lives of others. Both the original and the 1954 remake share an almost identical error: an inability to portray Norman Maine in a way that fully contextualizes his alcoholism and mental problems, as well as providing a more acceptable cause and justification for his fate. Without spoiling for those who have never seen any iteration of A Star Is Born, it is obvious that Norman cares for Esther/Vicki, that jealousy – if Norman has any directed towards his love – is not actively defining their relationship. It makes Norman’s decisions in the film’s final minutes feel so arbitrary, swift.

We know more about mental illness better today than screenwriters Wellman, Robert Carson, Dorothy Parker, and Alan Campbell could possibly have done so in 1937. Yet the screenwriters actively portray a variety of characters – central and peripheral – attempting to shield Norman from the stigma hurled by those who do not care to understand. Norman’s destructiveness is handled sensitively, and Esther/Vicki’s decision to help her beloved is one of the most positive portrayals of being an ally to combat an enemy unknowable to many, unseen to all. Of course, A Star Is Born is Esther’s story of creativity and tenacity in what was and still remains an unforgiving, cutthroat industry. But as her world intermingles with his and as she begins to accept that arrangement, the screenplay is looking for a flourish for its Hollywood ending. That ending, however, disrespects Norman’s self-loathing and Esther’s sadness that she alone can only be of so much help.

One character, press agent Matt Libby (Lionel Stander), is depicted as a publicity-ravenous individual who distastes privacy, and delights himself in manufactured, all-American narratives for the stars of Oliver Niles’ studio. A Star Is Born’s cynicism is contained within Libby, with shame and taste becoming irrelevant when there are movie stars to profit from and fans – suckers, really – ready to swoon at their favorite actors’ work. If anything, Hollywood is a talent and personality machine, ready to assemble the newest products and to declare an earlier, outdated figure obsolete. There is no regard to hurt feelings, loyalty, or friendship here. Such is the Hollywood Esther Blodgett and Norman Maine find themselves in.

Accusations of plagiarism also hounded Selznick International Pictures, as a similarly-written movie, What Price Hollywood? (1932), released by RKO, has an almost identical premise and similar plot twists, but with lesser-known stars (Constance Bennett and Lowell Sherman). David O. Selznick produced both What Price Hollywood? and A Star Is Born, and though RKO prepared their lawyers to sue Selznick International, they ultimately declined to pursue the lawsuit.

After its release, Selznick International sold the rights to A Star Is Born to Warner Bros., which allowed them to remake the film in 1954. But when Warner Bros. failed to renew the copyright to the 1937 original, it entered the United States’ public domain. The curse of some public domain movies is that, without that commercial value of the copyright protection, studios are loath to grant such a film a restoration. W. Howard Greene’s cinematography suffers, as 1937′s A Star Is Born was one of the first live-action feature films to use three-strip Technicolor (invented in 1932, Walt Disney negotiated an exclusive use of three-strip Technicolor until September 1935), instead of using the limited shades of greens and reds seen in two-strip Technicolor. In this collaboration and in the imperfect print that I watched on Turner Classic Movies (TCM), Greene and Wellman never allow the Technicolor to feature the range of its palette as much as they could.

Following the film’s release, speculation abounded whether or not A Star Is Born was based on a real-life example of a closely-knit Hollywood rise and decline. Some cite Barbara Stanwyck’s (1937′s Stella Dallas, 1944′s Double Indemnity) seven-year marriage to Frank Fay (primarily a stage actor, originated Elwood P. Dowd in Harvey) to be the primary influence, even if John Bowers  (1921′s The Ace of Hearts and The Sky Pilot) has been noted as the actual inspiration for Norman Maine. For those better-versed in the private lives of Hollywood actors than yours truly, speculate away.

So what is so compelling about A Star Is Born that this story has been repeated three other times? That’s not even mentioning derivative – a word which is not here being used in a derisive fashion – films that followed decades later. For as much as many movie fans and those not as accustomed to American cinema as a whole might be repulsed by what fame in the entertainment industry brings, we continue to consume these stories. Something in there, among the affluent actors, is an aspect we recognize about ourselves, us ordinary moviegoers that can no longer imagine ourselves as headline movie stars.

It seems appropriate, then, to have Grandmother Lettie help bring this write-up to its end:

Esther, everyone in this world who has ever dreamed about better things has been laughed at, don't you know that? But there's a difference between dreaming and doing. The dreamers just sit around and moon about how wonderful it would be if only things were different. And the years roll on and, by and by, they grow and they forget everything, even about their dreams.

Esther Blodgett has sacrificed her time, energy, sanity, and well-being to be where she is. By personalizing Esther the way this film has, we cannot help but root for her success, that those who love her the most are able to see her triumphs for themselves. If they are unable to do so, we hope that their support for her continues to leave legacies after the thrill of parties and premieres has gone.

My rating: 8/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found here.