#when will they stop having some unspecified issue with me. is there something wrong with me fundamentally what is going on

[seaofreverie]

Had the most awful ruined day because my flatmates who had been telling me that I'm not doing something (doing my portion of the weekly cleaning) that I very much DID do each week, decided today to fully reveal their awfulness and keep pestering me over it once more, telling me that I don't clean and asking me to tell them what exactly I cleaned like they're the owner of this flat and not just someone I'm sharing a living space with, and all the while I was being polite about it and not attacking them over all the things I could be bitching about if I were them, like how THEY don't clean after themselves and how they're loud at 4am and keep inviting friends several times a week. What I got in return was that they apparently thought I wasn't home so after I stopped texting them the same thing over and over they all met up and loudly made fun of me and congratulated each other over the "sick burns" they threw at me and implied that they think I'm stupid and somehow don't understand what I'm being told. All the while I was sitting in my room wanting to blow the entire place up because I needed to leave for a meeting I had later and couldn't leave that godforsaken flat.

[jacaerysgf]

Distractions

Summary: Despite how close the two of you are you're sick of waiting around for Jace no matter how much you like him, so you decide you’re going out on a date! but he doesn't like that.

r.q: childhood friends to lovers with modern frat boy Jace and he's like rlly popular and known to go from girl to girl. reader is like really smart and different from Jace so people get surprised when they find out you two are really close. Jace is always dragging you to parties and you’re always at his football games and he gets really protective over you. idek where im going with this 😭 but w smut too, your fics are acc amazing ty for your work 🙏

w.c: 2.5k

c.w: reader has hair (unspecified type, could be a wig wtv), Jace's anger issues, idk what locker rooms look like, cregan <3, fingering (f!receiving), p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), not proofread (as always)

a.n: I CANT STOP WRITING FOR JACE every request of him i get becomes my priority, literally when i woke up and saw this i had to get to writing it immediately like there’s smth wrong w me, anyways hope you all enjoy <3, this ones probably not my best T_T

Knocking on the door cuts through the music playing out of your speaker while your getting ready. “Come in.” you already know who it is. Your longtime best friend and housemate Jace who comes in with a smile on his face before it turns to shock as he looks you up and down, “woah.”

You finish clamping your necklace around your neck and look at him, “what do you want?” He leans against the door with his arms crossed with an amused look. you ignore how your heart flutters at him and turn away to adjust the dress you currently had on. “i just wanted to tell you im about to head out for the game, its a little odd to get all dressed up for a football game no?” The looks falls from his face as you drop your gaze from his in the mirror and fiddle around with your hair. he says your name breathlessly as he pushes away from the frame and takes a step into the room. You finally lift your head and meet his gaze in the mirror. “I'm not going to the game tonight Jace.”

He flinches as if you had thrown something at him and stutters for a moment his face covered in pure confusion as he brings one of his hands to his neck. “what do you mean you're not coming? you always come! if this is about me eating your leftovers then im sorry i thought you left it for me-” “i have a date.”

There it is. You didn't want to tell him. Hes always been, well a little protective of you, but you mostly blame it on your introverted personality while he's more of a people person. Youve had a crush on him for as long as you can remember but he's never been interested in you not the way you wanted him to be anyways, barely staying single or without a girl on his arm for a second you don't even know the girls names or maybe that's the point. He doesn't bring them around you but you know he's with them when he returns home super late with his hair all messed up. You fear he does it on purpose, he must know you like him and he doesn't bring them around you to make you upset.

You really didn’t want to tell him. You had thought maybe he would have just left for the pregame and just shot you a text and you could have faked some sickness or have pretended to go to sleep early. You walk over to your bed sit down grabbing your shoes to put them on. His silence is off putting. and you don’t dare raise your head to look at him.

“with who?” “This guy from lab, mark.” you finish lacing your shoes and stand up, finally looking at him and noticing the blank look on his face. “Jace-” “I don’t like this. i mean i don’t even know the guy how do we know he’s not some serial killer or something? Mark? Why don’t you just push it off for a couple days, come to the game and ill find out if he’d a good guy-” “I'm going whether you like it or not.” you cut him off. You couldn’t let him stop you from forgetting about him even if it was just for a bit. You grab your purse moving to push past him only for him to grab your arm. “Jace-” “You look beautiful.” The skin where he was holding you burns. You don't say anything as he lets you go and keeps his back turned to you. “text me?”

You try to ignore the pit that forms in your stomach at his sudden change of tone. you want to say something to him, you’re not used to seeing him like this. he would usually be pestering you about how you he asked you out or did you really like him but he was quiet. The sound of a horn outside brings you back to reality and you nod at his back as if he could see you and walk out. Putting on a fake smile as your handed a nice bouquet of flowers from mark, gulping to try and swallow the pit in your stomach.

—

“who the hell does this guy think he is?” His fist slams into the wall of lockers he's pacing in front of. All his gear is put on, his helmet is laying on the bench next to cregan who can only watch his best friend act like an idiot with an annoyed face. “Who the hell are you to care? Her boyfriend? No. So you have no say in it.” Jace bites his nails as he ignores the urge to hit the wall once more. “she’s my best friend.” “and? shouldn’t you be happy she’s on a date with this guy. i like mark he’s nice. what you like her or something?”

Jace ignores how is blood boils at the idea of you now sitting in your pretty dress smiling and giggling at some other guy that's not him. that doesn’t mean he likes you…. Jace attempts to come up with an excuse in his head about why he's so upset and why he's always been so upset over you going out with other guys, he usually just tells himself he's all worried about you and then he finds some girl to take you off his mind for the night…. that doesn't mean he likes you.

Cregan watches with a raised brow as Jace has an internal conflict with himself. He expected Jace to turn to him and admit it but all he does is grumble to himself and grab his helmet walking away from him. “I don't like her.” Cregan just shakes his head and picks up his own helmet following after him, “that fucking idiot.”

—

Mark is nice. Hes cute. He told you you could order anything you wanted off the menu since he was paying. He pays attention to you when you talk. Hes not Jace. You try your best to not think about him but you can’t help it. You wonder how the game is going, you’ve never missed one of his games. Maybe you pushed it too far and should have scheduled this date for a different day, but you know if you did Jace would have managed to convince you not to go and you would have fallen into the same cycle you always do. You nod your head and hum as mark tells you some story as you phone begins to buzz. You ignore it but it just keeps on buzzing to the point even mark looks concerned. “You can check it i don’t mind, ill use the restroom.”

You let out a hushed thank you as you check you phone to see what looked like a million texts from cregan.

‘hey i know the two of you are like fighting or wtv but you gotta see him asap.’

‘never seen him lose his mind like that’

‘got himself hurt’

‘nothing too bad but he’s bleeding’

‘know he thinks it cost us the game’

‘now he wont talk to any of us not even me’

‘think his head wasn’t in it’

‘know it’s not my place but he likes you so much’

‘losing his fucking mind over you not being here and being on some date’

‘please, for his sake at least try to talk to him, know you’re busy sorry to bother but I'm worried for him’

You stand out of your seat in shock as your heart begins to race. He was hurt? He likes you? Mark hadn’t come back yet so you open your purse and throw down some bills before running out of the restaurant. You sprint your way back to campus where the field was, thankfully living in a college town meant everything being super close by, you cant hear anything other than your own racing heart and the sounds of your feet as they slam on the floor.

You slam the hallway door open and cregan and some other guys look at you in shock. You stand there and take some steps towards cregan barely being able to catch your breath. Cregan stands up and looks at you shocked, “You ran here?” You just nod as you look at him expectantly, “where is he?” He uses his thumb to point behind him to the locker room doors, “Completely alone, everyone's already left.” You nod as the guys wish you good luck and leave.

You just stare at the doors for a moment, clarity finally hitting you as you realize how ridiculous it was you just left your date and ran all the way here. You couldn't just ignore cregans message. Pushing open the door its dead quiet other than the sound of running water. You walk slowly into the room the door closing behind you louder than you expected causing you to wince before you call out his name. He doesn't answer so you walk around the wall to where the showers were and you can see him outlined in the curtain and almost gasp but you cover your mouth to prevent anything from coming out.

“Jace?” His head finally snaps up due to your voice being so close and he looks in your direction, calling out your name softly in question. “I’m here.” “What are you doing here?” He turns off the shower and you turn your back incase he stepped out of the shower. You attempt to suppress the heat and want that fills your body as you imagine him naked before shaking your head, “Cregan texted, i was worried about you.” He just hums. You wish you could see his face but you hear the curtain open and the sound of him stepping out. “What about your date?”

You freeze as you clutch your purse tighter in your hands as you let out a deep breath. “What about it?” Hes suddenly standing so close to you you can feel his breath tickling your back and you gulp. “You’re here and not there, why?” One of his hands slides down your arm to grab your clenched hand as his forehead hits your shoulder, he's takes a deep breath as he awaits your answer. “Does it matter?” You don't want him to ask because you don't want to have to answer him. you don't want to have to admit to yourself you just wanted to be with him and nobody else.

“You wanna know why it matters? Because i was so fucking mad that you weren’t here i threw the fucking game and hit my head. because nobody makes me lose my mind like you do. Needed you here and you weren’t. You were out with some stupid fucking guy and i was so pissed.” He presses a kiss to your shoulder and you try to suppress the whimper that climbs its way up to your throat. “What are you saying Jace?”

His hands move to wrap around your waist and his head moves to your neck, You can feel his wet naked chest soaking the back of your dress and the heat of his breath on your neck “You know what, That i would go find a new girl to fuck because i couldn’t have you, that i think about you all the time because i like you so much, that it makes me sick when i think about you with a guy that's not me.” He begins to suck at your neck and you now do nothing to hold back the moan you let out as his grip moves to your hips pulling you back against him closer. “You mean it?” His hands slide down to the hem of your dress and he slides his hands under it and upwards pulling your dress up to poll around your hips, “of course i do baby, can i touch you?”

You let out a strained please and he pushes your underwear aside to run a finger down your slit letting out a groan, “fuck..” He quickly sticks two fingers into you and you fall back against him, withering under his touch as he moves at a rough pace, clearly very eager to please you and his other hand comes down from your hips to play with your clit. Your knees almost buckle from the amount of pleasure but he keeps you pressed tightly against him curling his fingers.

You swear he has magic powers because as you were right about to cum he pulls out of you and you whimper. He chuckles at your reaction and twists you around to face him, “want you to come around me.” He pulls you into a heated kiss as you two frantically pull off your dress, kicking it to some random corner of the locker room along with your underwear. “I don't have a condom.” You hear him swear and mumble to himself but you cup his cheeks to stop him, “I'm on the pill.” “It’s not the same-” “what are you not clean?” “of course i am-” “Then fuck me Jace.” He looks in your eyes for any signs of hesitation and when he doesn't find any he quickly pushes himself into you.

You feel like you can’t breathe, he pushes you against a nearby wall and feverishly pounds into you as his hands move to play with your tits. Hes talking but you can’t decipher what he’s saying so lost in your own pleasure. “fuck you feel so good fuck.” You tug on his hair and pull him to kiss you, your on the brink of release as the feeling of his thumbs rubbing on your nipples and the combination of the millions of emotions racing around you. You grip on his hair tightly and he groans, “You close?” You nod you head, “Wait for me.” You open your mouth to complain but his hips begin to move faster and his hands move to your hips to slam you closer to match his thrusts. “Want to come together.” His words are slurred as he’s approaching his release. Your hands scratch down his back as he groans in your ear, taking your ear and sucking on it.

“Come.” He breaths in your ear and you do, he hisses as he feels you pulse against him, your fluid completely covering him and he cant help but follow suit. He kisses you running his hands down your arms. As the two of you settle down he makes no move to pull out of you, seeming content within you.

“I'm gonna get a fucking earful from cregan.”

[tenten-shi]

"Moon is a good sister" is a common sentiment in the rain world community. To be honest, i have never seen a single post that talks about her in a critical way. That made me decide to share my observations and thoughts on why i think she is not a good big sister.

I'll start off saying that i like Moon with all her issues and quirks. If you are a fan of Moon, and consider any post that criticizes her "an attack" on your favorite character, please do not interact with this post. Discussions and additions are welcomed.

The main topic that needs to be addressed is her behavior in the situation with Pebbles (all the way from Spearmaster to Saint). Was Moon a good sister or was it just a facade?

The reason why she calls herself that way

It is stated in the Light Blue Industrial Complex broadcast that Moon chose the name Big Sister Moon because of her seniority status above Five Pebbles.

Evidently, Moon openly presents herself as his older sister both inside the local group, as well as outside of it.

Her attitude towards Five Pebbles

Moon doesn't know a whole lot about Pebbles, aside from his mental state that she learns about through the received neuronflies. The gifts from Pebbles' structure are not something she minds at all, on the contrary this behavior is encouraged.

In Rivulet's campaign, she reassures the slugcat to not make his situation worse by bringing her new neurons.

Still, she continues to accept them without any protest.

For the first time after their long separation Moon sees Pebbles only after the end of Rivulet's campaign. If the player visits him again after finishing the main story, they can see new projections showing the two playing some board game.

It is unknown whether they have talked to each other or not. But If i had to guess, their conversation must've ended shortly, turning into a silent game.

During Saint's campaign Moon doesn't express any interest in Pebbles nor does she try to see his state for herself. Her overseers do not spawn in Silent Construct and his collapsed chamber. The only way for her to discover that he's alive is by bringing his Music Pearl.

Her reaction indicates that she hasn't checked on him for a long time for unspecified reasons.

Was Moon a good big sister for him?

The situation between them can seem complex and confusing. It's hard to tell who's truly right or wrong.

I'll pose an analogy:

Imagine Pebbles getting a hold of a grenade. Moon is standing in close proximity. She doesn't make any attempts to see what he's got in his hands or what his plans are. He pulls the pin out, still holding the safety lever. He keeps slowly loosening his grip on it, putting Moon's life in danger, as well as his own. Moon tries to talk to Pebbles, disrupting his focus. When Pebbles almost lets go off of the lever and tries to throw the explosive away, Moon stops him. The grenade goes off, Pebbles gets heavily injured and Moon ends up in a coma.

Would a responsible older sister beat around the bush for so long in a situation that is threatening to not just her but also her younger brother? Obviously, no.

Moon is not a good sister, she's only trying to present herself as one. She's created a semblance of a great big sis, when in reality she's unsuccessful at that.

She wasn't

Did Moon have her chance to stop him before everything has gotten out of control? Yes. Suns brings up exactly that in one of the broadcasts, pointing out her seniority privilege.

Moon did not care about Pebbles' endeavors or interests. She's noticed the problem only when it had put at risk her own life.

Even after she has acknowledged the deadly danger, she kept on stalling. She wanted to talk to Pebbles and "shake him out of it".

As if what Pebbles is doing does not pose any danger at all. As if Pebbles is some disobedient, naughty puppy, whom, once scolded, is going to settle down. It feels like she looks down on him. She cannot imagine Pebbles doing something serious and important, therefore it must be easy to make him stop whatever it is that he's doing. If Moon legitimately was a good sister, she would've immediately stopped him and only then tried to talk.

Besides, Moon has demonstrated an odd demeanor towards Pebbles in the final Rivulet broadcast. At first her words sounded like something a genuinely good sister could say. But that shifts after Moon, almost jokingly, says how protective she is as his Big Sis. When in reality everything points at her carelessness.

Of course people could say that she's just excessively kind. But even if she was acting out of goodness of her heart, she's made a mistake. Instead of understanding and accepting Pebbles' personhood, she treated him only as her little brother and nothing more.

In conclusion, Moon's attempt to keep the face of a wonderful sister has led to a catastrophe, proving that she has failed as a Big Sister.

[emmettkane]

Nameless Raiders Suck (In RPGS)

You know the ones I’m talking about, the random guys in a game that only exist for you to smash, stab, and shoot. “Raider”, “Marauder”, “Psycho”, “Bandit”. Who are they? Why are they here? What do they want? What do they have to do with the story?

The answer is ‘nothing’ most of the time, but why?

I like video games, particularly role-playing games and, if we want to get specific, CRPGS: Fallout, The Elder Scrolls, Rogue Trader, and other notable inclusions. To start though, I want to hone in on Fallout 3 and 4. I’ve played every entry in the series outside of one (shudders), and there is a specific issue that Bethesda just can’t seem to escape: The Nameless Raider.

The Problem

They just litter the place! Guys with no names and an endless supply of bad Halloween decorations! They shoot on sight and do all sorts of unspecified crimes when you aren't looking, so it's okay if you kill them!

“It’s a first person shooter, you need guys to shoot!” I hear you cry. Of course you do! Radioactive wildlife, feral ghouls, and malfunctioning robots all serve as suitable, ethically unambiguous targets. Other people, though?

The problem isn’t that it’s impossible for people to turn to irrational violence, but that Bethesda’s Fallout assumes that they will, and in massive numbers! It’s myopic: humans are no better than monsters, waiting for the slightest chance to break the shackles of civilization and visit sick torture on anyone stupid enough to step outside. They all do it in exactly the same way too, for some reason. It is a world fundamentally afraid of strangers and one uninterested in exploring what actually causes violence, or how to actually stop it.

Some people are evil.

Killing them is the solution.

That doesn’t just open a moral can-of-worms that Bethesda prevents the player from meaningfully interacting with, it also serves as a grand and embarrassing series of missed opportunities!

See, there'd be nothing wrong with this if these games weren't sandbox RPGs, where the goal is to create a believable and interesting world to get lost in.

Why don’t the raiders form proper gangs with names and recognizable cultures? That could really make the setting feel put together! Why don’t they try to rob people through intimidation, rather than jumping straight to murder? What a neat idea for an encounter! Could some of them offer their services as bodyguards or mercenaries? I bet a well-heeled, unscrupulous player character would enjoy having a couple genuine goons at their beck and call.

This problem is persistent in Bethesda titles (Skyrim’s bandits and Starfield’s space pirates), but also in other CRPGs. The Outer Worlds tries to make something of its unnamed marauders in the “Peril on Gorgon” DLC, but even the non-marauder ‘outlaws’ riddling the base game are decidedly lacking in purpose and definition.

The Why

Why do this? If it’s such a great opportunity, why do studios continuously manufacture unnecessarily sentient target dummies?

As simply as I can tell? It’s cheaper, it’s quicker, and it’s what the average player has come to expect. That is to say: most people will ignore it. That’s not good enough for me though, I think they can do better.

The Solution

Bethesda isn’t the only game in town when it comes to sandbox CRPGs, and some studios really work to justify their baddies!

Rogue Trader’s ‘Anver’ gang slots well into the ecosystem of their home station, Footfall, and the chaos cultists you fight throughout the game tend to be involved in larger plots, serving the strategies of your vile enemies (or allies, you filthy heretic).

The Great Khans of Fallout: New Vegas are united by a hatred of the NCR and a kick-ass biker aesthetic. The convicts in Primm are a splinter faction of the better-organized Powder Gangers, and even the small groups in the south, the Jackals and Vipers, are given gang names and spawn within defined territories.

Wasteland 3 delivers a cavalcade of bandit factions of varying sizes and complexities, but they are all named and granted a defined culture: The Dorseys, Los Payasos, The Gippers, The Godfishers, and more.

The How

That's a lot of examples, but how do they do it? There are many factors when it comes to defining a raider faction in a CRPG. Let's examine one in detail:

Fallout New Vegas, The Fiends.

Just to the west of Vegas proper live a group called The Fiends: too poor for the strip, too violent for Freeside, and too wild for The NCR. These dispossessed stragglers have clung together under a small number of tough, cold-hearted, and downright cruel leaders. Strength is power, and the only way for the members of this group to survive is to exercise that power by robbing travelers, stealing what they can, and killing what they can't. This is their uniting purpose, their shared history.

They fashion armor roughly out of whatever they can find, mostly old fabric, scraps of metal, and rubber. The aesthetic is unified by a cow-skull on the helm of each warrior meant to signify their brutality and indicate their belonging in the group. This is their uniting appearance.

Their fortresses are repurposed from the old world and decrepit, ill maintained. you won't find a fiend outside of their stronghold of vault 13 and a handful of outposts, plus the regions surrounding. This is their defined territory.

Combining these factors, (faction purpose, aesthetic, and territory) it becomes clear to a player when they are fighting fiends and when they aren't. Their crimes are known, their sins are tallied. Quests which take aim at The Fiends are unique from quests centered on other outlaw factions, and this clarity makes contact with The Fiends special. Crucially, this attention has been paid to every outlaw faction in the game, and you get a unique encounter no matter who you're fighting.

The end result is a world that lives and breathes. Even if you choose to play as a righteous justiciar who puts down marauder scum on-sight, never interfacing with these groups except at the barrel of a rifle, the subtle differences give weight to that decision. After all, who cares how callous or vengeful your character is when your targets are just that? Targets.

So What?

That's just it! Games like these, sandbox RPGs, thrive on having worlds you can fall into! The bigger story matters, the style is important, but the details are what create that sensation. Raiders can just be targets, most players won't consciously notice the wasted potential, but imagine if they weren't. Imagine getting out-played because you didn't realize you were up against a more elite gang, or winning out because you did your research and came prepared.

Imagine pitting two tougher groups against one another so that you could pick through the wreckage, or joining a weak gang to build it up into a real powerhouse. Imagine softening one group into upstanding mercenaries, or smashing them and driving them from their territory.

Imagine what these groups could be like, and then imagine making them that way.

---

Thank you for reading! If you liked this essay and want to get more of my thoughts, follow me on Tumblr or Ko-fi, or wherever else. and if you want a say in what I talk about next, join up as a Bunker Goblin for just a buck a month!

[scarabsinthestardust]

Tender // Ch. 8

MASTERLIST

word count: 4300+

Friends, this has been a wild rollercoaster ride. I can't begin to explain how appreciative I am of the readers that stuck with me on this one (and the ones who gave it a shot, even if you didn't keep reading). With that being said, this is the last chapter of Tender. HOWEVER, it is not the end of the story, and it is not the last time we will see Finn. Things are going to get much worse before they get better, but good things are coming Josh's way. (I promise I'll stop bullying him soon ;-;) Keep an eye out for the next installment in this shitshow, Right on Time.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: language; angst; social drinking; alcoholism; mentions of rehab; post-traumatic stress disorder; other unspecified undiagnosed mental illness; fever; vomiting; nightmares; mentions of previous child abuse; some scary images; unintentional self-harm; dissociating; mentions of cheating; toxic and manipulative behavior; physical violence; domestic abuse; fisticuffs; injuries; blood; panic attack; desire to die but not necessarily suicidal ideation

When I was in rehab, the psychiatrist alluded to the possibility that I had post-traumatic stress disorder. I had gotten defensive, telling him he was grasping at straws and just trying to get me diagnosed with something so they could pump me full of drugs. The more he pestered me, trying to pry into my life and delve into my childhood, the angrier I got, until I eventually blew up on him. I didn’t get physically violent, but I said quite a lot of hurtful things to the man, who was just trying to do his job.

Some time later, when Josh was fast asleep and I couldn’t get my mind to shut up, I got curious and did some of my own research.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that is caused by an extremely stressful or terrifying event – either being part of it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, and uncontrollable thoughts about the event.

Once I started reading about it, I couldn’t stop. I just kept digging that hole deeper and deeper.

Emotional numbness. Avoidance. Hypervigilance. Sleep issues. Difficulty concentrating. Feelings of hopelessness. Negative thoughts about oneself or the world. Ongoing negative emotions such as fear, anger, guilt, or shame. Feeling detached or numb. Irritability and having angry outbursts. Behaving recklessly or in a self-destructive way.

I didn’t care to look through the treatment, because in my mind, that meant I would have to admit the psychiatrist was right. It would mean I was actually sick, that there was something legitimately wrong with me and it wasn’t all in my head. But the part that scared me the most was it meant Josh wouldn’t be able to save me.

~

“You’re burning up, baby.” Josh frets as he feels my forehead with the back of his hand. “Hang on, let me find the thermometer.”

“I’m fine,” I try to reassure him, but I’m fatigued and don’t have the energy to make it convincing. I close my eyes and will the pounding in my head to stop. Josh returns with a thermometer, a glass of water, and Tylenol.

“101.1. We’ll have to watch it. If it gets higher, I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“I don’t want to go to the fucking hospital,” I mumble.

“If it gets worse, I’m not giving you a choice. Here.”

I take the pills without too much of a struggle and chug the water before lying back down. “I just need sleep.”

“I know, babe. Get some rest. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.” He kisses my head and leaves me alone to sleep off whatever bug I caught.

My sleep is fitful and plagued with nightmares. Every time I drift off, I end up in the same place – at the front steps of that godforsaken house, in the dark shade of trees I never wanted to see again. Sometimes it’s quiet and empty, abandoned and dilapidated. Other times, I see a light on inside, the ugly yellow lamplight I’d grown to hate. My heart drops when the front door creaks open and she steps out, a bundle of leather straps in her hand. I try to run but my legs won’t move. I’m too weak to fight her off, as if I’m a child again, just trying to survive the wrath of a sick and deluded mother.

A part of me knows I’m dreaming, but everything seems so real. She drags me up the steps and through the front door before everything goes dark. I know we came into the house, but now I don’t know where I am. The cellar, maybe? It’s all very unclear. There are things clawing at me, tearing into my skin; I can’t tell if it’s her or something else, something inhuman. There are things wrapping around my limbs, pulling me in different directions, making my joints burn from the strain. I make another attempt to run, but I stumble and fall, my face hitting the cold, hard ground. I feel the weight of something crawling on top of me, hot breath in my ear, something wet being dragged along my neck, and a boy’s voice that is unknown but somehow familiar…

I’m drenched in sweat when I wake up but still can’t help the shiver that runs down my spine. I can taste blood in my mouth. Everything is spinning and the nausea hits me full force. I jump up and stumble to the bathroom, just in time to empty the meager contents of my stomach into the toilet.

Josh must have heard the noise, and I hear his rushed footsteps approaching. I blindly reach up to flush the toilet and rest my head on my arm. I’m not quite quick enough and I can hear the panic in Josh’s voice. “Fuck, are you throwing up blood?!” He drops to the floor next to me and tries to lift my head.

“I think I just bit my tongue. I’m okay.”

“Jesus, what the hell did you do to your neck? Did you scratch yourself?” He stands to find a washcloth. While he’s holding it under the running water, I reach up to touch the side of my neck, where I can feel three decent sized scratches. My skin burns and there is blood on my hand when I pull away.

Josh gets to work cleaning them up and I sit silently, letting him take care of it. I’m still in a haze, where nothing feels quite real yet. He puts another cool, wet washcloth on the back of my neck and feels my forehead again. “You still feel really warm,” he says. “Finn, I know you don’t want to, but I think you should go see a doctor.”

I groan and shoot him a glare. “Not fucking happening.”

“I’m worried about you,” he whispers.

“Don’t be.” I avoid his eyes as I sit up, moving the cold compress to my forehead, and promptly leaning against the wall. I’m not ready to move yet, much less try to walk anywhere. I can’t even formulate enough of a thought to string together anymore words that make sense. When I try to speak to Josh, my speech is slurred, which only makes him more concerned. The only thing I’m sure of is I don’t want to go back to sleep. I don’t want to go back to that place.

Still, I let josh help me back to the bedroom, once I’m sure I won’t vomit again. He leaves a small trash can next to the bed, though, just in case, and a fresh glass of water on the nightstand. I consider asking him to stay, but I’m vaguely aware that I’m still sweating like a stuck pig and in desperate need of a shower. I also don’t want to give him whatever bug I have, assuming he hasn’t caught it already.

I fight sleep as hard as I can, but I don’t have the energy to win that battle. Over the course of the next two days, I am stuck in this blurry, dream-like state. I’m in and out of consciousness and mostly unable to differentiate between the two. I’m only slightly aware of Josh checking in on me, offering food and medicine. I should be grateful he’s here, putting everything on hold to take care of me, but I find myself wishing I was alone.

The fever does finally break, but I still have no answer for what brought it on in the first place. Josh doesn’t get sick, so whatever it is must not be that contagious. Or maybe I did it to myself. Maybe all the terrible things I’ve done are finally catching up to me, whether it’s karma or some god I don’t believe in.

Even though my body is starting to recover, my mind doesn’t feel right. I think I’m stuck in a dissociative state. It’s like I’m watching from the sidelines, with no real control over myself, but I’m all too heedful about how dangerous this can be, and how dangerous I can be. Josh is still fretting over my well-being, but when I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger. His home, that should be familiar and comforting, is foreign to me. I don’t really know how to explain it; it’s almost as if that part of my brain that knows him, that loves him, has been disconnected. I want out, but I don’t know how, and it terrifies me that I don’t understand why. I’ve wanted nothing in my entire life as much as I’ve wanted him. I went to rehab for him. And now I feel suffocated. Maybe I just need space, and perhaps I could simply ask him for it, but when have I ever done the simple thing? So I ask him to go to the store to grab me something, and while’s he’s gone, I pack a bag and run.

~

JOSHUA

“C’mon, it’ll be fun. And you need to get out of the house.”

Josh stood in the kitchen, pretending to search his cabinets for something to cook, and sighed at Sam’s insistence. “I can’t. What if Finn-“

“Fuck Finn,” spat Jake. “It’s been three weeks. If he wanted to be here, he would be. You need to stop worrying about someone who can’t even spare you a fucking phone call.” Jake was done pretending, done being civil for Josh’s sake. Too many times he’d watched his brother cry over a guy that wasn’t worth his time.

“Yeah,” Sam agreed. “Way I see it, you have every right to let loose and have a little fun. Hell, go get laid.”

Josh snorted. “I’m not gonna do that.”

“Why not? He probably is.” Sam didn’t mean for his words to sound so insensitive, and guilt washed over him at the look on Josh’s face. “Sorry, that was shitty,” he mumbled.

“I’m just saying, maybe you need to move on from this. He’s not good for you.”

“He’s sick, Jake. It’s not his fault.”

“He’s using it as an excuse to treat you like shit,” Jake scoffed. He stepped closer to Josh when he didn’t respond and placed a hand on his twin’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. We’re just worried about you. Whatever the hell Finn’s going through, he’s got to figure it out. You can’t fix him, and you can’t let him drag you down with him.”

Josh mulled over his brothers’ words for days. He was hurting. He felt abandoned and lost. He couldn’t wrap his head around why Finn would just leave; they hadn’t argued, and he’d been doing so good at working to stay sober. But Josh could tell something had been off when his boyfriend fell ill, he just didn’t know what and frankly, was too afraid to address it. He reached a point where he thought he’d be okay if this was really the end of their relationship, but the uncertainty was killing him. He prayed for some type of closure, anything to solidify what he thought was already happening – Josh was losing him.

Thursday marked four weeks since he’d seen or heard from Finn, and Saturday he agreed to tag along to a house party with his brothers. They had pestered him about it until he finally just gave in to the peer pressure. It seemed wrong; he felt guilty for attending a party while Finn was still MIA, but Jake was right. He probably needed to at least think about moving on.

The party was on the other side of town, hosted by one of Daniel’s friends. Most of the attendees were people Josh had never met in his life. He wasn’t even sure what the occasion was, if there was one. There was a big enough turnout that it was difficult to move through the crowd without bumping into someone. The music was loud; partygoers had to practically yell to be heard over it. It reminded him of a stereotypical college frat party. Josh started by cracking into the seemingly endless supply of alcohol, in hopes it would help him relax a little.

He stuck with Jake at first, mingling with a few people and finding his bearings until he felt comfortable enough to wander off on his own. Between the alcohol and the good company, he began to unwind. He got roped into a game of beer pong, which he drastically lost, but more importantly, he was having fun. If nothing else, it was a very welcome distraction from all the pain and stress he’d been suffering of late.

Hours flew by in a flash. Josh found himself actually enjoying the socialization, joking and laughing with some newfound friends. Since Finn had disappeared, he’d been compulsively checking his phone every chance he got, but he hadn’t looked at it in hours. He didn’t even notice it buzzing in his pocket.

It was getting late, the night starting to creep into the hours when most people are in bed. Some of the guests had begun to filter out but there was still a significant crowd. A few of them were passed out in whatever empty spots they could find. Danny and Sam were playing a card game with a few friends when Danny saw something that made him do a double take. He tapped Sam’s leg to get his attention.

“Am I imagining things, or is that Finn?”

Sam scanned the room until he found who his boyfriend was looking at. “Nope, definitely Finn. Did he talk to Josh?”

“How else would he have known where we are?” Daniel frowned. “I don’t have a good feeling about this, Sammy.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

The pair excused themselves from their card game and stood to look for Josh. “Shit, where’d he go?” Finn had disappeared from Danny’s view so quickly he wondered if he’d imagined it. They found Jake first and pulled him aside to let him know what they saw.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he swore.

Josh was on the opposite side of the house, drinking and chatting with some newfound friends. At the sight of recognizable red hair in his periphery, his head shot towards it. “What…?” When his eyes met Finn’s, his heart dropped. In a matter of seconds, his confusion and shock turned into anger, and he jumped up to make his way to his boyfriend (or whatever he was now). He didn’t give Finn a chance to speak before he grabbed the taller man’s arm and was practically dragging him to the back patio door.

Most of the guests stayed inside due to the cold weather, so the deck was mostly empty. The air nipped at Josh’s nose and fingers; he’d forgotten to grab his jacket but that was the least of his concerns right now. “Finn, what the fuck are you doing here? How did you even know I was here?” Josh was fighting to keep his voice hushed to not attract the attention of any nosy onlookers.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll explain everything, but… not here.” He looked around at his surroundings, feeling very uncomfortable about the number of strangers nearby. “Can we go?” He reached out for Josh’s hand, but Josh pulled away.

“No. You don’t get to ghost me for four weeks then come back and call the shots. You tell me now, or you leave.”

“Josh, c’mon. I don’t want to do this here. And you’re drunk. Let’s just-“

Josh cut him off with a scoff. “I’m drunk? I’m not the one with the fucking problem! Don’t pretend like I can’t smell it all over you!”

Finn gritted his teeth. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t understand.”

“Of course I don’t understand, because you won’t talk to me! You’d rather just run away. You’d rather disappear and leave me with no idea where you are, if you’re dead or alive, who you’re fucking.” He choked out the last few words, his emotions getting the better of him. “Do you have any idea what that does to me? How much that hurts?”

He expected Finn to get defensive, to swear up and down that he never cheated, but silence speaks louder than words sometimes, and Josh took a step back. “Seriously?” He dropped his gaze to the ground for a moment, then fixed it back on Finn. If he was going to do this, he was going to look the other man in the eye. “I think we’re done. You should go.”

“You can’t… you can’t just abandon me, Josh. I need you.”

“No, you need help. Help that I can’t give you.”

“Don’t do this. I’ll get better. I can still get better. I just need more time. It won’t happen again, I can-“

“Stop. You say that every time, ya know. And it keeps happening. I can’t keep doing this.” There was a knot tightening up in Josh’s stomach and his chest ached. He hated this feeling; he never wanted to hurt Finn, but he knew it was something he had to do. “It’s not that I don’t love you, Finn. I stayed with you when… when I probably shouldn’t have because I love you. I gave so much to you. But I gave you everything I have, and I don’t have anything left. I need to take care of myself for a little while, okay?”

A multitude of emotions ran through Finn as he processed the other man’s words. It was like a spinning game show wheel and when it finally stopped, the little arrow landed on rage. He didn’t really plan on reacting the way he did, but once he started moving, he couldn’t stop himself.

Neither one of them noticed that Jake, Sam, and Daniel had found them and were making their way outside. So, when Finn’s fist collided with Josh’s jaw, any calmness that was left in the atmosphere completely dissipated. As Josh stumbled backwards, Jake lunged and landed a few blows of his own on Finn. He wasn’t as strong, but he was certainly fast and could do a decent amount of damage. Sam rushed to check on his oldest brother as Daniel tried to wrestle the other two men apart. Some bystanders had begun to file outside to get a better look at what was causing the commotion.

Everything happened so fast, but at the same time, to Josh, it seemed like it was happening in slow motion. He could taste blood in his mouth where his lip split and his jaw was throbbing. His voice cracked as he yelled for them to stop, and his cheeks were wet with salty tears he didn’t even realize were falling. Sam held him back as he tried to get to them, begging them to quit fighting. He didn’t know if he was more worried about Jake or Finn.

Danny managed to separate the two men, and he shoved Finn away to create some distance. He prepared himself to block (or take) some more blows, but they didn’t come. Finn stood back, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. He held the back of his hand under his broken and bleeding nose. Jake, still livid, made a move to close the breadth between them again, but was held back by Danny. He was sporting what would eventually be a black eye and his knuckles were bruised and cut open. Finn looked between the two in front of him, Sam behind them, and realized he was outnumbered.

Josh was suddenly all too aware of the group of partygoers that were staring at them like it was some kind of free show. “Jake?”

Jake hesitated, not wanting to take his eyes off of Finn, but slowly turned to face his twin. Noticing Josh’s injury had him seeing red all over again. His base instinct was to go after Finn for a second time, to keep hitting him until he was sure he wouldn’t get back up, but the look on Josh’s face kept him still. It was a silent question, a plea: Can we go home?

He glared back at the redheaded man, mostly for good measure. “You ever touch my brother again, I’ll fucking kill you.”

Finn spat blood out of his mouth. “This is your fault, Josh. You did this.”

Sighing, Josh answered quietly, “No, you did this to yourself. I hope you can get some help.” He didn’t wait for a response before turning and walking away, his brothers close behind.

He wasn’t interested in going home; he wanted to be with his brother, where he felt safe. He also figured Finn would return sooner or later to get his belongings that he left at Josh’s house.

The car ride back to Jake’s was quiet, save for the music coming through the speakers. When the four of them entered the house, Kya was on the couch. “Hey, you guys are back early. What… holy shit, what happened?” She took in the twins separate wounds and bruises and frantically stood.

“Finn happened,” grumbled Jake, walking past her and into the kitchen.

Josh offered her a sad smile. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “It’s over.”

Jake returned with an ice pack and shooed Josh into the downstairs bathroom.

“What about your hands?” Josh asked as he sat on the toilet lid and held the ice pack on his jaw.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll take care of it after.” He got to work cleaning Josh’s busted lip and applied some antibiotic ointment. The silence was unsettling; it was never like Josh to be this quiet. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just… I feel so stupid.”

Jake sighed and leaned up against the countertop, crossing his arms. “It’s not your fault. And don’t let him make you think it is.”

“I knew he wasn’t good for me. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if I had the balls to leave the first time.”

As Jake registered the words, he stared at Josh, face painted with concern and anger. “The first time? He’s hit you before?”

Josh kept his eyes on the ground as he spoke. “He’s never decked me like this, but he… yeah.” He hadn’t wanted anyone to know what really happened. In truth, he was humiliated for letting it get to this point. But he’d resigned himself to the fact he couldn’t hide it from Jake anymore. He briefly recounted what really happened when he hurt his arm, and the incident before he went to New York, along with a few others he had swept under the rug in hopes that if he pretended they didn’t happen, they would just go away. “Don’t tell mom, please. She’s gonna ask why we broke up. I don’t want her to worry.”

Jake silently agreed, not really knowing the right words to say. He knew nothing he said would change anything. The only thing he could do was be a steady hand for his twin to hold onto while he healed, physically and mentally, however long that took. Jake wrapped his arms around him and held Josh’s head as the sheer anguish the older twin felt hit him like a freight train, and he was no longer able to hold back his violent sobs.

~

I’m sitting in my car, pulled off to the side of a dark, empty roadway. My knuckles ache and my nose is definitely broken, so clogged with dried blood that I can’t breathe out of it. I don’t know what compelled me to hit him like that. I’m disgusted with myself. I never wanted to turn into this person, this worthless, poor fucking excuse for a man. I never wanted to turn into them, into the very people I hate. When I was old enough to understand it, I made a promise to myself that I would break the cycle, but clearly, I already failed.

I put all my energy into wishing I had been better for him, that I had taken care of him like he deserves instead of hurting him. I tell myself I would have done things differently if I could do it all over again, but I don’t know if that’s true. I see his face every time I close my eyes, and the way he looked at me. He will never trust me again.

I check the tracker app on my phone. No data found. He must have figured it out and deleted it. With a frustrated scream, I throw my phone against the dashboard so hard it breaks. I ignore the shooting pain in my hands as I slam them on the steering wheel. I tried so hard to love him. Why did he have to throw it in my face like that? I know I fucked up, but he has to know that I only did those things because he drove me to. And setting his brother on me? That was a low blow. Things could have been different, if he’d been strong enough.

No, that’s not right. I know this isn’t his fault, and I’ve never been able to comprehend why I keep trying to convince myself otherwise. I’m suddenly short of breath; it feels like something is squeezing the shit out of my lungs. My vision blurs and my fingertips are going numb. I think, for a moment, that I’m having a heart attack, and maybe that isn’t such a bad thing. I can’t feel guilty if I’m dead. I can’t hurt him if I’m gone. I lean back and close my eyes, begging my heart to simply stop beating. It doesn’t, of course. It’s just a panic attack, and it eventually fades, when my brain physically cannot handle being in emergency mode anymore.

///

I stay in this spot all night, in the dark, freezing Tennessee winter. I’ll pass out at some point, and will sleep it off, the only thought in my mind – I’m not ready to let him go.

TAGLIST

Let me know if you want to be added!

@hollyco @fleetingjake @musicislove3389 @hailthegodsong @josh-iamyour-mama @katuschka @lilbitx

[wtowingedtragicobsidian]

BDS Gender & Orientation HCs pt1 ADA

~if a character/commentary is not included I’m just assuming they’re cis/straight~

Atsushi:

Orientation:|Aro/Ace| (I’m claiming this one as my quota per show) Doesn’t consider romance/sex often, only ever really thinking about it when he does something that makes him go ‘oh shit that might have crossed a line that had the wrong implications or made someone uncomfortable.’

However, he wouldn't protest much if somebody (regardless of gender) wanted to having a dating relationship. It would take him a while to adjust but he’d eventually enjoy it, he just wouldn’t seek out those kinds of partnerships on his own and wouldn’t be completely shattered if they ended.

*I like to think (b/c it makes me laugh and it seems like something Dazai would do) that Atsushi’s tie clip is a bisexual flag Dazai gave him and he just wears it b/c he doesn’t know what it means. (tbh, I think Atsushi’s mostly ignorant of sexualities, not in the way of being bigoted, but in the way of never having realized that there’s different ways to categorize them. He just thought if you like somebody you asked them out, gender was never even considered.)

Dazai:

Gender: |Agender-unrealized| Goes with male but doesn’t actually strongly identify with any gender. Uses masculine pronouns but will also use neutral or impersonal pronouns when thinking (and sometimes talking) about themselves.

*in some of the aus we see she either transition or is born female, but she still feel similarly detached to gender.

Orientation: |Bi| Attracted to both binaries but compulsively gets with women more often, tending to only fantasize or on occasion entertain men flirting with him—he rarely goes past that unless it’s a power play or for a mission.

*real talk I think he probably has a fucked up relationship with sexuality, but that has less to do with who he’s attracted to and more to do with his own personal complexes surrounding sex and meaning.

Kunikida:

Gender:|Transwomen-unrealized| Identifies as male and uses masculine pronouns. BUT, when someone refers to him femininely instead of debating, he just pauses—it doesn’t feel as incorrect as it should, making his heart clench and then soften in a way that steals the words of rebuttal out of his mouth. (in another life she might realize, but in canon no such luck.)

Orientation: |Straight(?)| Interested in women, more specifically interested in finding The Perfect Woman™ according to his Ideals’, but alas. He’s fine with men flirting with him (he finds it strangely flattering, making his heart flutter with warmth) but he just politely informs them he’s straight.

However, he isn’t opposed to being an a qpr with a man—he would never seek it one out, but if he found himself in one with somebody he REALLY values it wouldn’t be much of an issue.

Ranpo:

Gender: |Transman| Uses masculine pronouns.

Orientation: |unspecified| Not super interested in relationships and has distaste or confusion over certain aspects of them (but I’m tempted to say this might be more related to his autism than his sexuality). If the transition into the relationship was natural and subtle, he'd be ok with it.

*Ranpo likes running bets with the ADA (read Yosano, Dazai and sometimes Fukazawa, the others stopped betting with Ranpo over anything a long time ago b/c they’d never win) over who’s with/going to get with who and what happens between the relationships. (sfw or otherwise)

Tanizaki:

Gender: |Transmasc, Demiboy| Uses masculine and neutral pronouns

Orientation: |Bi-curious| Finds men attractive (bi panics) but isn’t sure if it’s romantic interest.

Yosano:

Orientation: |Lesbian| Likes women and wine and having a good time.

Fukuzawa:

Orientation: |Aro| Doesn’t clock advances well (like he’s REALLY bad at it, Ranpo has to point it out for him) and when he does, he just chuckles and says he’s flattered but no, none for him thanks.

[penultimate-step]

Thank you for responding! Responses to responses:

I'll go in reverse order this time.

Haruta is...punchable. He's a competent heel, I guess.

He certainly is that, yeah.... I don't really know why he bothers me so much, it's not like I usually have anything against villains. Mahito is just as cruel but he's one of my series favorites. It's not uncommon for the villains to be some of the characters I like best, but something about him makes it so I just don't enjoy any scene he's in. Possibly because he's just pathetic enough that I can't even get hyped for the heroes to defeat him. Even seeing Nanami wreck him just made me feel bad that the closest thing jjk has to a father figure was engaging in such brutal violence. To use another series, BNHA, for comparison: he feels less like a Shigaraki and more like a Mineta. I don't want him punched I just want him to...stop that.

It would be easy for someone like Satoru Gojo to have boring non-fight scenes. But in Shibuya, Gege Akutami does a good job of finding ways to escalate the stakes even when Mr. I Win Button is around.

Yeah I was impressed by how well they've been handling Gojo. It is pretty funny to me that part of that was just, okay, we need stakes now, let's literally box him up and put him on the shelf for later. But even before that, the way his existence as a pillar for the other characters is fully relevant to way the story is going makes him much more effective than a deus ex machina. And none of his scenes in season 2 would have anywhere near the same impact if we didn't have a whole season previously of him showing the viewers that he could be the invincible support for the jujutsu society. I like how he's been written a lot.

Anyways, I think I've talked about this before on one of my own posts, but I like Real Geto a lot better than his replacement. There's a lot of stuff that pseudo-Geto can do that would be implausible for someone as young as Real Geto.

I haven't had too long with fake Geto, so I'll give him some time before I make judgments, but it does strike me as a bit of a shame to lose Real Geto. I didn't think too much of him in the movie but he was absolutely a highlight of the flashback arc, and I would hate for the climax of that character thread just to be "his body used to immobilize Gojo for a second."

(worldbuilding stuff)

Wait, there's no cursed energy outside Japan? That's...an interesting worldbuilding choice, I suppose.....but why??

Geto's movie team was intentionally international, if I'm remembering right. There was the guy from Africa that you mentioned, and another guy unspecified but with a foreign appearance and name. (His name, Larue, is I think either Italian or French?) Plus, I could have sworn there was some mention of sorcerers going overseas on missions...

That's fine, though it does somewhat reinforce my sense that jjk feels like a very artificial world. As you say, there's nothing wrong with having so many of the important figures be in Japan, that's just where the story takes place. I've read plenty of manga where every important person in the world lives in Tokyo, and there's no shortage of US series where everybody internationally relevant lives in New York, or San Francisco, or wherever. My issue is more that even if we're limiting it to just Japan, it feels like this world couldn't sustain itself if I start thinking about it for two seconds.

Like, the obvious question is, what happens when Gojo decides to retire? Heck, what happens when he takes a nap? He can't be everywhere. Specifically, the jujutsu society isn't new, its existed for over a thousand years, but the way the story has him be an end all be all makes me wonder how humanity didn't go extinct long before he was born. There's a moment in the curse user battle that kind of answers this - that everything got more dangerous when he was born, inexplicably. But then, okay, but he's still just one guy. Curses form naturally so long as there are people, we are told. If I'm taking the worldbuilding at it's word, there are threats constantly going on all over the world (or, apparently, only all over japan. strange choice from Gege but I'll roll with it.)

In some hidden-world type settings, the actions of those hidden are performing vital functions to protect the ordinary world, which would collapse without their heroism. JJK initially made me think this was the setup we had here, with curses preying on humans and sorcerers organizing to protect them. But with later revelations, it's hard for me to picture any organization here at all. It's less a hidden world, and more a hidden house or classroom. The two pillars being in Japan aren't the issue to me, it's just hard for me to believe that a world only surviving by the constant close scrapes of two pillars can even survive. Can these dozen or so guys really protect so many people? And if they can't protect everyone, and they're only stopping a small percentage of the curses, how did humanity even survive this long?

I guess this is kind of the risk you run whenever you try to portray this kind of setting. Fundamentally, the world from the perspective of an ordinary person is supposed to look identical to our own, but our own world is dependent on so many very specific moments in history that when you make too many alterations it starts to strain suspension of disbelief that a world like ours is even plausible.

I am aware that I'm being super nitpicky about this - every fictional world could be equally said to be unrealistic if you really think about it. On some level, the idea that the world depends on Gojo isn't any more unrealistic than the world of DC depending on Superman - such is any world with high stakes. JJK is only different in that it presents a world that despite having a radically different past, resulted almost identically to our own - but that is also just a common bit of worldbuilding, making a fictional world similar to reality is both convenient for writers and easy to understand for readers.

The more I write this out the more I think there isn't actually a problem, and this is all just my own personal taste being expressed. Nonetheless this is a live reaction series, not an analysis, so the lack of rigor here is possibly excusable on my part. All I can really say is that as I was watching S2 so far, my kneejerk reaction was "this world setting feels like it exists for the sake of the plot, more like a stage prop than an actual world I can imagine people living in." And yeah, every work which focuses on plot or characters and isn't just a worldbuilding bible is this to some extent or another, but in JJK I started to feel it much more strongly when compared to some of it's fellow shonen peers. Which might be a completely biased and wrong interpretation of what is going on, I fully admit I could be doing some terrible reading comprehension.

JJK S2 Livewatch: Eps 8-12

Hello, everybody! Sorry for taking so long to continue this live reaction. Since this is the part where the fights start in earnest, I had a lot less to say about the show's specifics and more general rambling thoughts I had as watching. It made me unsure about how to write this part up, and I ended up taking way longer than I should have (I watched these eps weeks ago!) Not sure if this will make the livewatch more or less entertaining to read along. But at this point I am going to post and hope for the best. Hope nobody is disappointed.

So, following up the end of the last ep, Gojo is called out to the danger zone. It's emphasized how much he's the one guy who matters and can do anything here. Which does kind of make me have thoughts about the worldbuilding.

Ok, so, what is the size of the jujutsu world, exactly?

Between Gojo and Tengen, we have multiple individuals who apparently single handedly hold the jujutsu world on their shoulders. That is so many points of failure, so many points where things could just go catastrophically wrong at any moment, presumably dooming the world. I know that this is primarily in order to place the plot focus on the important people. but it feels less like the jujutsu world is an institution or a world on its own, and more like a small club. Which could be fine, but its established that curses appear constantly, all over the world. It's hard to believe that a group small enough to need a handful of people to hold critical roles could cover the whole nation We know there are only 2 jujutsu schools in japan, and its unknown how many elsewhere but presumably an equivalent amount. We've seen most of the students at the school competition arc, and there were less than a dozen altogether. So....what's going on here? It just seems kind of arbitrary, and makes the world feel more constructed - which, of course, it is, being a fictional world, but generally we prefer when the guiding hand of the author is less obtrusive.

Some comparisons that can be made are to Naruto, the manga which I am almost certain is JJK's biggest inspiration, and to Chainsaw Man, a contemporary peer. Naruto's worldbuilding is large and sprawling, with plenty of named organizations, locations, and events offscreen. out of universe info books and spinoffs help add detail to this, but aren't necessary. There, it is believable that any given character exists in the context of the world because the world exists as background. in contrast, chainsaw man shares a much tighter focus with jjk. much less exacting detail, minor characters, etc; a greater focus on a small cast. There is no greater detail, readers know nothing about the structure of hell, the goings-on in the US or USSR, or even other divisions and areas in japan. but there is enough there to maintain an illusion that the world exists - mentions of foreign countries, occasional shots of hunters or political leaders. Sure, it's not the same as actually detailing in the world, but there's no need to go that far - enough has been sketched in that the readers can imagine the characters getting on a plane and flying to another country, even if they don't have any details about the destination, it feels like they exist in a real world with real places that the camera just doesn't turn to.

This might seem like I'm being overly harsh to the setting. it is clearly an intentional choice to have Gojo be the lynchpin of the world, there's nothing inherently wrong with it. But as someone who loves urban fantasy as a setting, it does sometimes bother me when I feel like the world exists only for the convenience of the main cast. It's a world close enough to our own that I feel like it should make sense.

Anyway, that's enough of that. Moving on to actually talking about the events of the episodes. I did warn you at the start that I had less to say about this set, though.

The fight between Yuuji and the locust curse isn't a bad fight to reintroduce us to the main protagonist. It's smoothly animated, outside some hiccups when jumping through walls, and the fact that both fighters use fully physical techniques made the whole thing seem very even and straightforward.

It's outshone completely by the Gojo vs villain gang battle at the end of 8 and through 9, though. I love when hidden world fantasy type settings use the clash between the normal world and the fantastical, setting these fights in a crowded city subway was a cool enough idea already, but the villain plan to use ordinary citizens to box gojo in, the use of trains in the battle, all hammered it in. the way the battle goes on around them while they can't even see most of it is interesting.

The almost wild, ruthless way Gojo speaks and fights in this battle make it clear he's been pushed very far. Between this and the flashback eps, S2 hasn't been shy about showing Gojo struggling and on the edge, a stark contrast to the way he was essentially the plot device "I win" button in his season 1 appearances. Where many of his memorable moments then had him floating at a distance to his opponents, untouchable as his technique, this fight is brutally physical. The moment he grabs at Hanami's branches was visceral. I was actually really surprised to see Hanami die. When he had Hanami against the wall, I started saying out loud "You know, the ruthlessly strategic thing to do here would be go for the killing blow on the weakened enemy. I just know Hanami is going to come back and cause trouble in future arcs. But it makes sense the author wouldn't want to waste a villain with so much buildup like that." And then he actually did kill him. Okay! Message received, Gege! I'll stay on my toes a bit more!

Also, as an aside (much as the show does,) I really liked the villain interludes. Seeing them messing around playing games in their free time did a lot to add to their characterization, even if it was just a way to exposit their plans to the audience.

While I'm giving praise, the sound design and music team did a great job. There's so much that wordlessly conveys the emotions going on mid-scene without having to stop and actually demonstrate them. the ominous overlay on the villains, the frenetic piano as gojo rushes to use his domain, and the most evocative of all, the soft and emotional tunes of shock when Gojo sees Geto again.

Also, this is the part where I have to embarrassedly admit that I was already spoiled on present day geto being fake. Rather, I was so spoiled that I assumed it wasn't a spoiler and was revealed in S1, until seeing the big reveal scene made me realize someone must have told me about this years ago. Whoops. Apologies if any of my followers were waiting for my reaction to that bit :(

Ep 10 is mostly a bridge and setup for the next portion, but I do have some brief thoughts on the new characters to touch on before moving on. The drinking old man is not endearing himself to me with his flippancy, the curse user with the hand sword from season 1 is back, and still kind of annoying whenever he's on screen. The unnamed white-haired girl with him seems cool though. also, this may be kind of a late moment to say this, but I really do like mahito as a character. Some of his transfiguration stunts were genuinely unsettling, and the way he alternates between that kind of cruelty and his general playful attitude makes him pretty fun to have on screen. He's far and away my favorite of the present day villains.

Skipping ahead to the fights in eps 11 and 12. The montage of murders by the curse users actually disgusted me. Which is kind of funny to contrast with the appearance and fighting style of the man who fights Yuuji and Megumi in this episode. His face and movements are different than most of the cast, reminding me more of some kind of demonic looney tunes character, jumping around and letting hits bounce off him. The fight is a cool showcase of 10 shadows, as well as giving some fun interactions between Yuuji and Megumi.

Actually, as I look back on it, I'm somewhat more impressed by this bit than I was as I was actually watching. None of the individual moments are super impressive or thought provoking, but as I come in to write down thoughts I realize that this two episode span seamlessly transitions between 4 different fights, done well enough that I didn't see it as an interruption, and only realized while writing this about it afterwards.

I don't want to dwell too much on the Nobara and Nanami vs hand guy fight, because that guys icks me out. Mei Mei's fight is mostly offscreen, but I do have a meme about it, because I cannot stop my brain from making unfortunate connections. The fight between the masked sorcerer (I don't remember if we got his name?) and the pair on the rooftop, though. It starts pretty slow - I don't think either of their powers or the way they use them are very interesting - but things tick up immediately when Toji shows up. Just like in the flashback arc, he just grabs the attention in every scene he's in, an

While I'm on the topic, one thing I noticed is how efficient the flashback arc was. Pretty much every element from there makes a direct return now, not even 10 episodes after the fact. Geto and Toji are shown off in the past right in time for them to be introduced in the main plot, not wasted elements. Not sure if this is a good or bad thing but it did feel noticeable. Possibly this ties back to the stuff I was talking about at the start of this, where JJK keeps making the tradeoff of telling a tighter and more focused story while cutting lose any elements that could be seen as extraneous, for better or for worse.

Anyway, that wraps up that watch session. It was pretty good, I didn't enjoy it as much as I liked eps 1-5, but much more than I liked 6-7. as a whole I think I can start to calibrate my expectations for how good this seasons is going to be now, very well executed but much more straightforward than that first arc would suggest. Less exploration of world and characters, more cool fights and action scenes.

I feel like I said a lot without actually saying very much, I worry that this was almost entirely recap of things any watcher knows already. I'll try and write the next section much faster, and hopefully I'll have more interesting things to say about that one.

[bluedemiknight]

Amy showing up in an alternate universe where everyone’s genders switched and is just baking muffins in the kitchen of the resistance base in the middle of the night.

She explains very clearly she left her universe for personal reasons and can’t go home. She is willing to wait for either her friends finding her or she gets over whatever unspecified issue she is dealing with.

She’s smiling and chipper, but her eyes are always filled with unushered tears. She has been baking every day since she came and has not left the kitchen at all.

Out of genuine concern, they decide to give her an intervention. Just before they reach the kitchen, they hear a loud bang.

They rush to kitchen to see that she dropped a tray of muffins and is on her knees sobbing. A blue hedgehog hugs her and asks what’s wrong and why she came to their universe.

“Oh… y-you’ll think it’s silly…..”, she cried.

They encourage her to tell them and that if it’s hurting this badly that it’s not silly.

“…okay… I came here…because I…. I-I-I…. He cheated on me….”, she whispered.

“What?”, asked the hedgehog gently.

“My boyfriend cheated on me!”, she started crying hard.

“That’s awful! You don’t deserve to be treated like that.”, she said.

“Three years! And - a-and I see him kissing another girl! I - I didn’t know what to do! I couldn’t say anything! I couldn’t expose him in public like that! I couldn’t! I couldn’t! I was so hurt… I… saw a portal open up in the lake and… I just wanted the pain to stop….I ran a way… I-I’m I’m a coward! I couldn’t-“, she was interrupted.

“Shhh, you are not a coward. I understand. It’s okay.”, she smiled at her.

Amy sniffed and looked at her with watery eyes, she gave a small smile.

“I never fully introduced myself….I’m Amy… Amy Rose.”, Amy said softly.

“Rose?”, a pink hedgehog said from the group.

Amy looked at him and smiled.

“Yep! From what I understand, I’m the girl version of you? Or you are a boy me. Something like that!”, Amy stood up.

“Well, I finally cried. I think it’s time I move on.”, Amy beamed.

“Well, Amy. It won’t be easy, but I think we can help.”, the blue hedgehog said.

“I think so too, Sonya.”, Amy said.

After that, Amy finally entered the guest bedroom and drop on the bed asleep. The next day, they kicked her out of the kitchen and forbad her from entering even if her muffins were amazing.

Amy was very helpful a round the base, she was a great training partner. She was very close to some of the members of the group.

——-

One day, she sighed as she looked over the coast. A red echidna and a yellow fox sat with her.

“What’s wrong?”, said the Echidna.

“Do you miss your universe?”, asked the fox.

“Kind of, but I really miss this one friend of mine the most. More than my big brother.”, admitted Amy.

“You have a brother??”, said the shocked Echidna.

“Well, not really but I liked thinking he was my brother. He’s the boy version of you.”, said Amy.

“Does that mean I’m a sister now???”, cheered the echidna.

She had a big goofy smile and hugged Amy. Amy laughed and patted her head.

“Yeah, I guess so.”, she said.

“Who was it that you missed though?”, the fox asked.

“Well, I’m still not entirely sure what your feelings are for your version of this person as there are a lot of different things and events in this world that didn’t happen or was slightly different in my world.”, confessed Amy as she scratched her cheek.

“Good a head, I promise to be as objective as I can.”, promised the fox.

“If you like them, then they’re okay with me!”, said Amy’s new sister.

“Well… it’s Shadow. The ‘Ultimate Life form’ in my world. We are close friends and if I had stayed… I’m sure he would stay with me like you are and listen to me talk.”, she said.

“I’m pretty sure he’d go defend your honor if he’s anything like our ‘ultimate life form’. She is very serious about the people she’s close to.”, said the fox.

“Oh I don’t doubt it, but most of the time when I get sad he would always chose to sit with me over fighting other people.”, she said.

Amy’s sister briefly thought that Shadow might have a crush on her but ignored it and assumed he’s just a really good friend.

“I often think about my relationship and talk about it with him. He’d offer some help or criticize S- my ex- for me feeling the way I did.”, she said.

“To be fair, while your feelings are your own- it was his job to make sure you weren’t sad.”, said the fox.

“True… I honestly always thought we would be a great couple, even when he ran a way from me. He was really shy and I was always straight forward.”, said Amy.

They stop talking and enjoyed the view together.

————-

Eventually Amy’s friends came for her. She was making a cake when a portal opened somewhere in the woods.

Sonya and her friends met some of their counterparts. They brought them back, not knowing who Amy had dated.

“Amy!”, said Sonic.

“Sonic?”, said Amy.

Sonic had ran up to her and tried to hug her, but Shadow beat him to her. He picked her up and set her down on a different spot.

“Rose, are you alright?”, questioned Shadow harshly as he looked for injuries.

“Yes, I’m completely fine. I’m even baking a cake! Want to try some?”, asked Amy as she held her hand out.

He shook her hand briefly before letting go. She respects that he doesn’t feel comfortable with touch, even though she is one of the only ones aloud to touch him.

“Amy!”,she gets scooped up by her brother.

“Knuckles!”, she smiled and laughed as he spun around with her.

Knuckles had tears in his eyes as he looked at his little sister glowing with joy.

“Hey!”, Sonic zipped up to Amy and stood between her and Knuckles to get her attention.

“I missed you the most!”, said Sonic as he tried to hug her again.

Once more, Shadow took her out of reach. Amy got the feeling that he knew something the others didn’t. She was so glad to have him as a friend.

“Shadow! I know she’s your friend and all, but she’s my-“, Sonic gets interrupted.

“Ex-girlfriend.”, said Shadow as he stood in front of Amy to block her from Sonic.

“What?”, the others gasped.

Sonya groaned and looked at her boyfriend.

“I promise I’m not like him!”, she said.

“What are you talking about?”, said Tangle.

“Amy… we’ll she can tell you herself.”, he said as he stepped to the side.

Amy walked beside him and held his arm. Shadows arms with crossed so he could subtly place his hand on hers in a form of comfort.

“I saw you kissing another girl, Sonic.”, she said with a firm voice.

“I-“, Knuckles placed a hand on Sonic’s shoulder.

Sonic slumped his head and muttered for a few seconds.

“It wasn’t me. It was Metal Sonic! He was part of a ploy with a new minion of Eggman. The guys can vouch for me!”, said Sonic when he left his head.

“It’s true, Shadow was there.”, said Tangle.

“So? All I know is that Rose was heart broken and it’s been months since she went missing.”, said Shadow.

“Don’t start a fight with him, Sonic. He’s just showing everyone that he’s on my side.”, said Amy.

She pointed at Sonic as Knuckles also moved to her side as her big brother.

“That may have been a trick from Dr. Eggman, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve moved on. I’m sorry Sonic, but I’ve already broken up with you months ago. You may not have moved on, but I did.”, said Amy as her expression turned gentle.

“Just because it was a misunderstanding doesn’t mean we can start over. Im sorry, but his plan was successful in breaking us up. That also doesn’t change that we are friends. I’ll always care about you, Sonic. Im just not going to be in love you or looking to get into a relationship either.”, Amy closed and Sonic looked at her.

It was quiet as he thought. She had her hand out for him to take. It was not fair, but he couldn’t deny what she said. It took them far too long to find her and she changed during that time. He sighed.

Sonic smiled and took her hand.

“Alright, that’s fine with me.”, they shook hands.

There was a pause before Knuckles spoke.

“Can we have cake now?”, he said and everyone laughed.

“Sure thing! Let me just finish decorating it and it will be good!”, she said.

“Uh, I hate to break it to you guys, but we don’t have much time. We have to get going soon, Tails says we have trouble on their side and that we need to get back.”, said Tangle as they held up a communicator.

It replayed his message to them with panic in his voice.

They all looked at each other before Knuckles fought everyone for the cake as they began to run off with Amy in Sonic’s arms.

“Protect the cake!”, said Sonic as he ran.

“The cake is ours!”, said Sonya.

Shadow blocked the yellow fox from grabbing the cake and held Amy’s sister back. Knuckles carried the cake outside and to the boarder of the resistance camp.

“They have the last cake Amy will ever bake for us! Stop them!”, Sonya ordered.

The members that heard were on them.

—————

Bye!!

[tl-notes]

Kobayashi’s Maid Dragon S2 Episode 3 Notes

Sparrows! Specifically the Eurasian tree sparrow, known in Japan as the suzume. You can just about see them all over Japan, all year long—but that doesn’t mean they aren’t a season word!

Depending on their depiction, they can be used as a season word for most times of the year, but a major one is “late spring,” as that’s when they’re out and about finding food for their baby birds. You can also see in the art they look a little floofy, indicative of the winter coat they haven’t fully shed yet; suzume in summer have a more sleek look. Here’s a shot of them from late summer last season:

And from closer to winter here↓. Quite fluffy.

As a quick refresher, 季語 kigo, or season words, are words/phrases/concepts used to give a sense of season to a haiku (or other poem/work of art), which is what part of what differentiates them from a senryuu. They were used pretty frequently in a lot of episodes last season, but a bit less so this time so far.

Where Lucoa and Ilulu are talking about a “right” here, the Japanese word is 資格 shikaku. While this usage is similar to “right” in English, the connotation is a little different as the word actually means more “qualification.” 

Whereas a “right” is generally something you have innately in some sense (e.g. if you make art you automatically have copyright over it, you have human rights just for being human, etc.), a shikaku is something you earn (e.g. if you study and take a test for certification program and pass, you’re rewarded with a shikaku.)

Ilulu’s response to the question here is 

そういうのは違う。小林がくれたあの言葉はなかったことにはできないから。

One way in which this differs from the English is that she’s not saying it would be right or wrong, but rather not the solution she’s looking for—because it would also mean undoing the words Kobayashi gave her, and that is something she doesn’t want to do, no matter what.

In contrast the English feels more like she thinks it would be wrong to do that, and even if she did it wouldn’t let her escape what Kobayashi said to her. (That would make more sense if Kobayashi had called her out on being evil, but that’s not really what went down.) An alternative wording might be something like:

“That wouldn’t solve anything. Besides, I don’t want to erase what Kobayashi gave me.”

This line is: 小林さんのようにはいかないなー

This is perhaps just my interpretation, but the English here sounds like Lucoa once convinced/helped Kobayashi in some fashion previously, is trying it again with Ilulu, but failing this time. (I don’t that’s ever happened though.)

In contrast, I think the Japanese is saying that Lucoa is trying to be like Kobayashi (e.g. when helping alleviate/solve Tohru’s various worries), and it’s not really working for her. I.e. “It’s not working like when Miss Kobayashi does it.” 

Ilulu’s line about “I don’t want to ask Kobayashi about it because she’d probably solve it too easily" seems to support that reading; the dragons know Kobayashi as worries-solver.

The English here has Lucoa saying she’ll go talk to Kanna/Saikawa, and casually telling Ilulu to wait in the bathroom. But Lucoa doesn’t actually talk to the kids, and even if she was planning to, why would Ilulu waiting in the toilet do anything?

The answer is that Lucoa is actually telling Ilulu to talk (to an unspecified subject, assumed to be Saikawa, since she’s a human and thus someone Ilulu feels guilty about interacting with; Kanna she’s more fine with, as a dragon). And instead of “Go ahead and wait in the bathroom,” it’s more of a “Go wait in the bathroom and see what happens,” with the implication Lucoa is going to set something up. 

And she does!

“I won’t lie about X, but Y is a different story.” This seems to imply she will still lie about Y? That seems a bit odd to me, especially when she just lied about X (those feelings) to Kanna/Saikawa minutes ago. 

The Japanese says something a bit different though.

The core of the middle line here is 気持ちに嘘をつかない kimochi ni uso wo tsukanai. Because the に, the particle indicating “direction,” is attached unadorned to "feelings,” it is saying not “lying about X” but “lying to X.” This construction, to say one is lying to a feeling, is fairly common in Japanese media. It’s basically equivalent in English to lying to yourself about those feelings.

(for “lying about X” you’d change the に into a について or similar)

So basically she’s saying she won’t pretend, to herself at least, that she doesn’t want to play. But that’s a separate issue to whether she has, as she said before, the “right” to play after what she did. 

You could maybe put it sort of like this:

“I won’t lie to myself about my feelings anymore. But that doesn’t mean I can act on them after what I did.”

I feel extremely silly even pointing this out, but the beam here is 尿意 nyoui, which is the urge to pee, not necessarily actually needing to pee. Hence why she seems to stop needing to as soon as she gets to the bathroom and walks straight back to the living room with Ilulu after they talk.

“Be deceived” here is not 騙される damasareru, lit. “be deceived,” but 騙し討ちにあう damashi-uchi ni au, which is like being hit by a sneak attack, being stabbed in the back, etc. In a fairly literal sense in this case too, as they’re talking about actual combat.

I mostly bring it up because it feels like there is not much difference between “being deceived” and “being tricked,” despite those being portrayed as polar opposites (deceived by hostile dragons, tricked by kind Kobayashi), so it might have been wise to differentiate them more in the translation.

E.g. perhaps “She had to change to avoid a knife in the back.” (though dragons don’t use knives, so maybe a claw?)

Another pretty minor point, but the “doesn’t know right from wrong” is 分別のない funbetsu no nai, where funbetsu means not so much “knowing right from wrong,” but a more encompassing sense of discretion and maturity.

I mostly bring this one up because it struck as me awkward to say Ilulu explicitly shouldn’t know right from wrong, since that would be going backward to her be okay destroying the city again. Instead it’s more that she shouldn’t need to feel weighed down by what’s “correct” or what she “should” do. One possible alt example:

“So go back to being a kid, and worry more about what you want to do than ought to do.”

(Lucoa also changes from a narrative tone to a more conversational tone at the end, in conjunction with the visual shift away from the flashback, so swapping the “she” to “you” might be appropriate.)

Note how Kanna shuffles the cards here. Depending on where you’re from, this may seem like an odd way of doing it (unless you watched Yugioh maybe). A lot of places with majority English speakers tend to use the overhand shuffle or riffle shuffle, but in Japan (and many other Asian countries) the most common shuffle is the one on display here, known as the Hindu shuffle. 

~The More You Know~

The act of handing over a piece of candy like this has been used as imagery in other places in the show as well, though I’ll leave thinking about what it represents to you.

“Blanket” is futon, which is used to refer to both the “mattress” part and “blanket” part of a full futon, the traditional Japanese bedding (not the same thing as the sofa/couch mattress you might hear called a futon in some places).

I mostly mention because just “a blanket” kind of sounds like they’re going to leave them on the floor, but they’re actually going to get the equivalent of a guest mattress (+blanket) to put them to sleep in, as it’s late enough for this to turn into a sleepover.

Just as a bit of trivia, the word she uses for “onlooker” here is the same term as the “spectator faction.” In the manga Tohru interjects with “Aww, come on, why not Chaos faction instead?” 

Also as a side note to this whole bit about Kobayashi wearing a maid outfit; recall this scene from early in season one, where Tohru found an outfit Kobayashi had bought and stuffed deep in a closet:

Relevant! Anyway, back to the actual episode now:

If you felt like this exchange felt a little disjointed, especially given Tohru’s tone of voice: the idea is that Lucoa is saying Tohru really goes to extremes when it comes to matters relating to Kobayashi, which is implying that it seems excessive to call so many people over for a relatively mild issue (not that she necessarily minds though). Tohru’s response is a slightly defensive “yeah I know, but thanks for coming over anyway.” 

(They’re saying it in ways such that you have to read between the lines a bit though, so it may not come across as easily in a translation.)

The word for “cold” here is 水くさい mizu-kusai, basically meaning “watered down” (like beer etc.), and used frequently to refer to a person/actions/words that the speaker considers too reserved for the relationship they have with the other person.

So it’s similar to cold, but cold in the context of already warm relationship. If talking about a stranger or someone you don’t get along with normally, you shouldn’t use 水くさい; you can just say 冷たい tsumetai (lit. “cold”) or similar.

In this context you could probably have her say “No need to apologize, Kobayashi-san.”

Also I like how they swap around the honorifics (Miss, Lady, -san, -sama, etc.) based on the speaker (I think differentiating between dragons and native-Japanese-speaking humans?). I would say it works given the setting, but that’s just me.

The text there says “Money Street.” It’s probably obvious, but it’s based primarily on Monopoly, which is semi-popular in Japan (though not to the extent as say in the US). 

Just some trivia, but the “sales pitch” for the game in the Japanese market is more that it’s an educational game that teaches investing and negotiation skills. (The origin of the game in general being an educational tool about exploitation of tenants by landlords, so not quite the same thing.)

Japan also has Momotarou Dentetsu (”Momotetsu”), which is a video game series that’s been around since the NES and is broadly similar to Monopoly rules-wise.

I just want to point out, amid all the riches, the bag of potato chips and other junk food in the back there.

Mini-trivia: the cardboard boxes in the background there seem to be a mix of the Amazon logo and the Seino Transportation logo, a Japanese shipping company with a kangaroo logo.

You probably noticed it without me pointing it out, but I enjoyed the fact Elma got corn starch* all around her mouth from the daifuku and then immediately got told to go play with the kids while the adults are talking.

*It may seem like powdered sugar if you’re used to donut holes, but daifuku, like most Japanese sweets (wagashi) generally, is not heavily sugared and not even particularly sweet by the standard of most “sweets” (which is part of the appeal for many). The skin of the daifuku is powdered with corn starch or similar simply to make it less sticky.

Kobayashi’s “do that” here is やろー yarou, which can mean “let’s do X” (which is a construction often used to tell/suggest someone to do something, without really including yourself in the “us”). 

However in this case—especially given Kobayashi’s pronunciation and tone of voice—I think it’s actually a homophone of that, a form of 野郎 yarou, a word for “guy” with often negative connotations, like saying “son of a” or “asshole” etc. 

The idea, I think, being that his immediate agreement of “Oooh, right I didn’t think about you wearing it,” comes with a heavy implication of “yeah you’re right, you couldn’t pull off something cute like that,” so she’s replying with a (mostly good-natured) “oh you fucker.”

This giant 完 kan means “the end,” used like “fin” at the end of a story or game etc. It’s also frequently used in “fake end” jokes. E.g. a show about a sentient zombie might start with the main character getting hit by a truck and dying immediately. The end! ...Except not, and they wake up as a zombie.

So here, the original goal was “make a maid outfit for Kobayashi to wear.” Then Georgie convinces Kobayashi that anything is a maid outfit as long as you are a maid at heart, so really, she’s already wearing one! The end! ...Except not.

Here’s some extra, probably needless, context on this “annoying”: it uses the word 面倒くさい mendokusai, which is basically used to describe something as annoying, a pain, etc. When used to describe a person like this, one of the ways it can be taken is specifically that the person is really fussy about details that others wouldn’t really care about—which describes Kobayashi about maids pretty well. 

So just for clarity, it’s not necessarily “I became an annoying person who is a maid otaku,” and can be more of a “within the context of my maid otaku-ness I became annoying.” Just to kind of shed some light on the extent of her self-deprecation here.

The word Kobayashi uses for “helping with the housework” is 家事手伝い kaji-tetsudai, which is a noun* that means “a housework helper”... here, basically a more bland way for a native Japanese speaker to say maid. 

Hence why Tohru reacts with “Oh, don’t call me that, call me a maid!”; Kobayashi went as far as to acknowledge her clothes as a maid outfit, but not quite as far as calling her maid outright. That’s our “annoying maid otaku” doing her thing. 

*It can also be verbed.

These neighborhood notices, 回覧板 kairan-ban, ~lit. circular notice, are a method used by local governing organizations to distribute information or forms etc. For example, about an upcoming neighborhood event to pick up litter.

The general idea is that one person gets the notice, reads it, signs it, then goes and passes it to the next household in line. It saves paper versus sending everyone a thing in the mail, encourages interaction between neighbors, and is more likely to be read than a flyer/email, though some people consider them a pain and they generally feel a little dated.

The phrase for “piercing noise” is  劈く金切り音, tsunzaku kanakiri-on, ~lit. “ear-piercing sound of tearing metal.”* 

“Was it that loud?” in the Japanese is a little different, そんな音してた?, meaning “was it making a sound like that?” 

I’m mostly just bringing it up to say that the “Sasakibe’s cooking isn’t just loud, the sounds don’t even make sense” gag is alive and well this season.

*The “sound of tearing metal” phrase can also used idiomatically for some types of high pitched sounds, but I imagine it was chosen very deliberately here.

It’s probably obvious, but this is a reference to the music video of the OP for season one. You can see it on the official channel for the band, fhána, here.

The season two music video is here, and it seems to have decent English subtitles for the lyrics if you’re curious what they are.

The adjective here is ニヒル nihiru, an abbreviation of nihilistic. It can be used as actually “nihilistic” like in English, but it can also be used more colloquially to describe a person with dark vibes. It can almost be a compliment!

“Sleeping” here is 惰眠をむさぼる damin wo musaboru. Damin is not just sleep, but “worthless” sleep—not like a nap because you’re tired. Musaboru is a verb for ~gorging upon on something (often metaphorically, not just food).

The two words are somewhat frequently used together for, basically, lying around the house doing nothing all day. And not in a particularly flattering way, so it’s pretty funny for her to just be like “yeah I do that as a hobby I guess.” 

It doesn’t mean the same thing, but it’d be like saying your hobby is loitering. Maybe could have translated as like “Hobbies? Vegetating.” or “Procrastinating?” or something, though I don’t know if those would have the right impact...

Kanna’s word for “idol” here is アイドル aidoru, i.e. idol in the pop culture sense.

Tohru’s word is 偶像 guuzou, or idol in the religious sense.

(Tohru swaps to the pop culture “idol” when she starts talking about Kobayashi though.)

Kanna’s “lost it” it here is 大変 taihen, a pretty common, almost generic word used as an intensifier (greatly, immensely, seriously, terribly, really, etc.) in both positive and negative ways. E.g. “thanks, you really saved me!” or “that was extremely rude.”

When used alone, like here, it usually implies something bad has happened, like something has befallen Tohru and/or she’s in some sort of trouble. Hence why Kobayashi immediately rushes home worried and bursts through the door like this—and loses her tension when she sees Tohru is fine, just... extreme(ly annoying to Kanna and Ilulu).

You could maybe say e.g. “Something’s wrong with Tohru!” to keep that double meaning open.

(”Lost it!” also makes sense for Kobayashi to be worried about, but the type of worry is somewhat different in that case; “oh god what is she going to do” vs. “oh god what happened to her.”)

The “lick” here is べろ bero, an onomatopoeia for licking that’s also used as slang for "tongue” (noun).

A bero chuu, as in the chorus here, is slang for a French kiss/deep kiss/tongue kiss.

~The More You Know~

The text here says “If your total assets are above one billion, proceed towards goal.” 

Only billionaires can win...

Here is 私のものはカンナのもの, lit. “What’s mine is Kanna’s!”

This line is a reference to a catchphrase of the bully/antagonist in Doraemon, Gian: “What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine.” 

His line, and character, is so well known it’s spawned the term “Gianism” to represent that sort of self-centered philosophy: everything is rightfully mine to take, even if you think you lay some claim over it.

It’s interesting that the inversion of Gianism, i.e. “what’s mine is yours,” is the only way Kanna and Saikawa are able to overcome the rules, beat the billionaire, and win the game.

Solidarity forever.

[crystalbahamut]

victory in stages

FFXIV Write Day 10: heady

Summary: You’re used to being liked because you’re useful, but it’s harder to believe someone likes you for…well…you, and you’re not brave enough to ask. Luckily, you have a plan to get around that. A stupid plan, perhaps, but a plan.

Warnings: Shadowbringers spoilers, unspecified/ambiguous WoL, they/them used for WoL, WoL has low self-esteem, such low self-esteem they have to get knocked about the head, literally, mild violence, 2nd person, G’raha Tia/WoL

Words: 3,363

 ---

Purging the remnants of the Lightwardens from you would have been enough to make you feel weightless but combined with the defeat of Emet-Selch, the fact that you had gone into a fight and come out with no causalities, the fact that G’raha Tia had stood in front of you, hurt but so gloriously awake and alive…

You were so overwhelmed by gratitude, by things going so right for once and so drunk on the heady feeling of absolute victory you had surged forward and grabbed G’raha in your arms and squeezed. He had gasped and hugged back, stammering your name…

…But now, a couple of days removed from it, you’re wondering if you hadn't just…startled him.

“Did you travel back to the Source without telling us?”

You jolt up, taking your chin from your hand and sitting back to face Alisaie and Y’shtola, who look unamused and amused, respectively. “Sorry,” you say. “What were you saying?”

Alisaie rolls her eyes and looks askance at Y’shtola. “It’s probably a good thing we made them sit with their back to the Crystal Tower or we’d never catch their attention again.”

You frown. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, nothing.” But Y’shtola smiles into her cup as she merely holds it to her lips. “You seem to be very deep in thought, is all. One has to wonder what has caught your mind so thoroughly.” Her smile widens. “Or who.”

You duck your head between your shoulders at the insinuation. “Oh, it’s not…”

“Please, you’ve been asking after the Exarch ever since we got back from the Tempest,” Alisaie says. “Haven’t you gotten tired of his company even a little?”

“I haven’t seen him since we came back.”

Both Y’shtola and Alisaie lose the teasing edge and sit forward. “What?” Alisaie asks in disbelief.

You shrug, very uncomfortable with where this conversation is going. There must still be some sin eaters around somewhere that need killing, right? That seems like more fun than being subjected to Y’shtola’s and Alisaie’s very special brands of tough love. “He’s still the Exarch helping run an entire city, and I’m just…what he needed me for is done. There’s no reason for him to want to see me.”

“Did he say that?!” Alisaie asks and starts to rise.

“Oh I severely doubt it.” Y’shtola grabs Alisaie’s sleeve and pulls her back down into her seat. “You know our friend and their insecurities.”

“Hmf.” Alisaie crosses her arms but looks less murderous, at least. “Honestly, I thought that would all be assuaged by that show of affection in the Tempest. I didn’t know a hug could be so fraught and romantic.”

“I think I just surprised him.” You stare down at your cup. The tea is likely lukewarm but you don’t pour more; you doubt you’ll drink it. “I’ve been meaning to talk to him, to ask him if–…Back when we first explored the Crystal Tower, I thought maybe he might…but then he locked himself away, and that answered that. But before we went to fight Vauthry he said some things that implied maybe he…might feel something for me, but I haven’t asked him about it since, and…”

You look up and jerk back. Alisaie and Y’shtola are both just staring at you. You feel like crawling under a rock for the rest of your miserable life. “It’s stupid, isn’t it?” you say and hide your face in your hands. “Gods; please forget I brought it up.”

“The Exarch spent a hundred years trying to prevent your death,” Alisaie says, speaking slowly. “Nearly sacrificed his own life to do so, calls you things like his ‘inspiration’ with sickening amounts of adoration, looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky, and you don’t think he’s madly in love with you?”

“I don’t know if he likes me romantically.” You duck down into your shoulders again. “Just because other people think I’m a hero that needs to go on living doesn’t mean there’s any deeper attachment to it. Stories can inspire, but at the end of the day they’re just that– stories.” You take a sip of your drink and grimace. It’s not even lukewarm anymore. “Also, the stars thing…technically I did bring back the night.” You put the cup down. “But I was supposed to do that. Now that I’m not useful anymore–”

“Warrior!” one of Lyna’s soldiers says, nearly breathless as she rushes up. “The captain bid me give a message to you.”

“What is it?” you say and stand.

“There’s been sightings of sin eaters accumulating over by Sullen; they seem to be disorganized and frenzied– likely starving and desperate– but there’s a similar issue by the Ostall Imperative that has most of the soldiers occupied; they won’t get to the settlement in time. Please, will you–”

“Understood.” You grab your weapon and relief surges through you– it’s terrible, probably, considering the danger people are in, but at least you can still be considered useful. “I’ll head out to Sullen right away.”

“Wait for me!” Alisaie says, leaping after you and you hear Y’shtola and the soldier talk about grabbing Thancred and the rest of them just before the two of you run off.

 ---

There is nothing quite like a successful battle, you think as you trudge back into the Crystarium with Alisaie emanating the same sense of relief behind you. Your blood is raging and your mind is clear; you feel like you can fight a primal. Maybe two primals. You feel like–

“Thank goodness you’ve returned safely.”

You stop so suddenly Alisaie bumps into you. She curses but you don’t really listen to what she’s saying. How can you, when G’raha is standing right there, looking so radiantly healthy and smiling at you like he truly is grateful to see you.

“Coming to see us back? I hope you weren’t worried,” you tease, and are rewarded by a slight flush of his cheeks.

Thancred mutters something too low for you to hear and that’s probably for the best, as Alphinaud chokes.

“Yes, well.” G’raha clears his throat and smiles. “‘Tis always a pleasure to see you all return safely.”

“And here I thought I might be special,” you say, with absolutely no acrimony.

Alas, G’raha doesn’t blush, but there is a rather fetching mischievous sheen to his expression when he says, “There was never any doubt of that.”

You swallow hard. Is he flirting? Does he mean it like you want him to? You almost mean to continue– to see how far he’ll let you go– but apparently the healers have been warned of your coming because a few of them come to escort you to Spagyrics, and as you sit for healing and bandaging and whatever else, the adrenaline settles and you start to second-guess everything again.

“You see?” Alisaie says pointedly. “He was waiting for you.”

“He was waiting for all of us,” you say and sigh. “And I was…was I inappropriate? I don’t think so, but…”

“By the Twelve, you can’t be serious,” Thancred groans. “You were so brave not half a bell earlier, I thought you were making real headway.”

“I always feel braver after a battle. It’s…” You try to think about it. “I guess after fighting for my life everything else just seems easier.”

“Would that we could bottle that bravery for you,” Thancred huffs and stands, shifting his shoulder and thanking the healer.

You sigh. “If I had a gil for every time I thought–” Wait a moment. You can’t bottle it…but you can try to manipulate it. All you have to do is talk to G’raha immediately following a fight. And that isn’t a difficult thing to do– leatherworkers need Smilodon skins, Hoptraps breed like crazy…

Alphinaud says your name as if cautious. “What are you thinking?”

“If I’m not brave enough to talk to G’raha normally, I can make myself brave enough to talk to G’raha,” you say and punch your fist.

“Excellent work, Thancred,” Alisaie says sharply.

“Y’shtola is going to kill me,” he groans in reply.

“No; this is a great idea,” you insist, because it is. “I fight things all the time and I’m still alive! This is perfect; it’s just a little adrenaline rush, nothing big.”

“Y’shtola is going to kill you,” Alphinaud sighs and Thancred nearly whimpers.

You are going to prove them all wrong and find out once and for all what G’raha truly thinks of you.

Win-win.

 ---

So your first fight does…not quite go according to plan. You found a strange looking horse while traveling through Lakeland and tried to get a better look at it, only to be immediately kicked back by hooves and knocked out. At least the sun is still out when you wake up again, but when you try to get up your ribs are definitely badly bruised, if not mildly broken. You use what healing magics you have to patch yourself back up and carry on your way. You try not to be grateful that you can’t find the horse again.

You find a botanist in a spot of trouble and help him by gathering lumber amongst a gaggle of angry triffids. It’s perfect– you get knocked around a little bit but dodging branches and putting down angry trees is surprisingly challenging and gets your blood flowing. And you help someone. A win-win indeed.

You try to clean yourself up just a little bit and head straight for the Ocular, only to be stopped by the guard.

“So sorry, but he’s in a meeting right now; no interruptions,” the man says regretfully.

“Oh, of course!” It makes sense; G’raha is still The Crystal Exarch, leading a city, doing so many important things…

The rush fades quickly and you head back to your room in defeat. G’raha comes by later, looking so sorry when he apologizes for missing you earlier, but you do your best to wave him off.

“It wasn’t that important,” you say and thankfully a yawn overtakes you.

“I’ll not trouble you any longer, then,” he says and steps back, bids you goodnight.

You watch him leave, thinking about calling him back with every step, and yet he turns a corner without a word from you.

You sigh, but it’s only day one. Tomorrow will be better.

 ---

Tomorrow is not better.

Neither is the day after that.

Neither is the day after that.

You are a capable fighter, truly– sometimes you think it’s all you’re truly good for, being thrown at violence like a martially adept doll– but you just keep having problems. Most of them are scheduling conflicts, as G’raha is still an important man and you still have responsibilities of your own, but the healers are proving far too troublesome as they seem to intercept you ninety-percent of the time. You sourly wonder if they have a magic mirror they can watch the world in as you trundle back to your room late one night.

Or perhaps they have informants.

The next day you take a little break. Or so you tell everyone. Y’shtola seems quizzical (you wonder if no one told her about this plan of yours) and your other friends seem relieved. Especially Thancred.

“I’m just doing a little delivery job this morning,” you tell them. “No fighting; since I’m carrying goods I’ll be avoiding confrontation. I’ll be back tonight.”

Sure enough, when you get back from your delivery you spy a healer watching as you come through the main plaza, and when she sees that you’re well she goes back to Spagyrics.

Snitches. Well you’re not so easily foiled– you go back to your room and then use the aetheryte at Fort Jobb to get back to Lakeland proper. The strange horse has been spotted and a few other hunters with Clan Nutsy are keen to take the job. With help, it shouldn’t take you long at all, and G’raha is almost never busy at this time of night. It’s perfect.

 ---

Up until you get knocked headfirst into a tree. That and the fact that it takes much longer than expected means you all but storm into the Crystarium later than expected, and feeling too foul to see G’raha. Sure, you can fight a primal, but with your mood you’d chew up and spit out a Lightwarden too, which is hardly conducive for a love confession.

But then there’s G’raha, calling your name before you get too far. “I was looking for you earlier; Urianger said you’d gone to your room but–” He jerks back when he sees you and his eyes widen in surprise, and concern, and so much care that your anger fizzles like an overloaded lamp. “What happened?”

“Bad luck,” you say and sigh. “And if I see a healer I might…do something I’ll regret. I’m sorry, G’raha, but maybe we can talk later.”

“Oh no; the blood on your face is worrisome enough, but the way you look makes me think you may have a concussion,” he says. “Pray, if you will not see a healer, would you allow me to care for you?”

There is a right answer, a wrong answer, and an inappropriately desperate answer, and your tongue twists on the latter. G’raha doesn’t wait for you to speak– he grabs your hand and pulls you along behind him, and you become so focused on that (he’s holding your hand) you barely realize what’s going on before you’re in a room in the tower you’ve never seen before, where there’s a bed and a nightstand and…

Maybe you do have a concussion.

“Here,” he says and sits you on the bed. It’s a really nice bed.

“With as much as you do I’m surprised you ever sleep,” you say and feel over the soft top blanket while he prepares something or other for…something or other. Why are you here again? You try to shake your head and gasp in pain. Right. Concussion.

“Easy; no need to cause yourself more pain,” G’raha murmurs and sits next to you. He cleans your face as gently as he can and you try to hide how much you ache regardless. You feel a little clearer, a little more focused, and you try to remain that way. “And I don’t sleep much, but it looks like you’re picking up my bad habits, friend. You’ve been keeping so busy lately,” he says as he bandages the cut on your forehead. “I feel like every time I try to see you you’re out doing something or another.”

“I’m not…doing that much.” You swallow. “I’m just trying to be useful, and, well, fighting is all I’m good for.”

“It’s not all you’re good for.”

“It’s helpful,” you insist. “For me too. I needed to–…to…”

“To?” G’raha repeats and you wonder if maybe the concussion can take you now, because G’raha has always been the same when he gets one little piece of information– he hounds about it. Relentlessly.

You sigh. Heavily. If it gets too hard you’ll clam up, and he’ll be disappointed, and then where will you be. But G’raha says your name, and so you steel yourself to try. “I needed…to be brave,” you say and wince as he dabs at a cut on your hand. “I wanted…I wanted to talk to you.”

He slows his motions and then stops. “My friend,” he says gently; he’s always so gentle and sweet it makes you nearly sick with want. “What would make you so afraid to talk to me? After all we have been through together, surely you can tell me most anything?”

“It might be stupid. Presumptive,” you admit. “And I…I don’t want you to think less of me.”

Gentle fingers touch the bottom of your chin and tilt it up. You stare into crimson that somehow looks so adoring, but does he adore you as a savior…or a person? “My dear friend,” he says. “There is nothing in this world that can make me think less of you.”

Staring at him, you feel your heart pound like it’s going to burst out of your chest and you think– you can’t do this anymore. If you don’t find out you’ll go crazy; you have to know, whether it hurts or not. “G’raha, in Kholusia, before Vauthry– were you talking about me?” you say, trying to speak as fast as you can, before you lose your nerve. “Do you like me? Romantically?”

He stares at you. Dumbfounded.

Like he couldn’t possibly have predicted this.

You swallow a lump of tears and feel shame settle upon you heavier than the world itself. You look down to try and maintain some dignity. “F-forget I said anything; I’m so, so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I swear–”

“I thought I was obvious.”

You blink. You lift your head and some of the nausea quells. G’raha is smiling softly at you and wringing the cloth in his hands, even though it’s nearly gone fully dry. “I didn’t want to pressure you,” he says. “You seemed to shy away from me so I thought I would give you some time to figure out your feelings, for mine– mine have always been thus, ever since the first time I saw you again after you cleared the labyrinth and my heart swelled to see you safe.”

“Really? Even then?” you ask.

“Oh, most certainly.” It is adoration in his eyes as he slides his hand over your cheek and you lean into his touch. “How could you sound so disbelieving?”

“I’m just…me. I go where I’m needed and do as I’m told. If anybody else had the blessing they’d be twice the hero,” you say but you can’t help but slide your hand over his. “But you, G’raha, you’re strong and smart and kind and clever and you’ve always been so much more; are you sure you–”

He kisses you so suddenly he has to hold your shoulder to keep you from falling back. But it’s so good, you forget all about trying to talk some sense into him. He pulls back to pant for air and you try to stop the swimming of your head. You are not letting a concussion get in the way of this. “My friend– my love,” he corrects and it’s your heart that swells. “Anyone could have had the blessing and not been a tenth of what you are. If only you could see what I see.”

“I-I can try.” You know it gets tiring for people to have to listen to what you think about yourself sometimes– even your friends have gotten fed up on occasion– and you don’t want to drive him away. If he thinks you’re good enough for him, you can but try to be good enough for him– without getting knocked in the head again, you hope.

“Good,” he says simply and brings your hand to his lips to press a kiss to the back of it. “However we will have to continue this when you no longer have a head injury.”

“It’s not that bad,” you say and try to lean in for at least one more kiss, but you wobble, and the next thing you know G’raha is laying you on the bed.

“I’ll be checking in on you often to make sure that concussion isn’t severe.” He squeezes your hand and smiles. “By morning you’ll take back everything you said, for how much you’ll want to murder me.”

You squeeze his hand and return his smile. “If I didn’t drown you in a puddle in the Shroud, I’m not going to be that cross with you now.”

You fall asleep to his laughter.

 ---

When morning comes it’s even brighter (in a good way) than it has ever been. You and G’raha have breakfast together, and hold hands, and when G’raha kisses you goodbye as you leave him to get some work done you practically float across the Crystarium to share the good news.

Your friends, touchingly, are very happy for you.

Y’shtola doesn’t even kill Thancred when she finds out what incited the whole thing.

(It’s a near thing though.)

[magicalshitposts]

Now that it's canon and I've talked it through with @redshift-corridor I think I'm gonna share my Robbie's eating problem headcanon.

Big big big TW for eating disorders (in detail), throwing up, passing out, being unhealthily thin and having near death experience

Smaller TW for drug and alcohol use

All of this will be under the cut!

Robbie Canonically having a problem with food kinda got me back into the HC that I made a good while ago. Because it was such a small HC that I was thought was very unlikely in the long term, I didn't put much thought into it. 

I have now put some thought into it

After doing research into Eating Disorders, there is one by the name of ARFID, which stands for ‘Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder’. It’s pretty much an umbrella term for a lot of unspecified EDs so has a lot of signs (not all of them will apply to the person). The traits I took note of were 

Missing meals completely, especially when busy with something else.

Finding it difficult to recognise when hungry.

Feeling full after only a few mouthfuls and struggling to eat more.

Taking a long time over mealtimes/finding eating a ‘chore’.

Weight loss 

This was definitely what I associated with Robbie.

This is a headcanon for a different post but It’s vital to know mental health is not taken seriously in my version Hyrule, It’s not taken at all. There are no therapists, no doctors, nothing. 

It starts in his early childhood. He was never much on an eater as a kid, only getting through a bit of breakfast and lunch before saying he wasn't hungry for dinner. That was more or less fine though. He had a few snacks throughout the day and was a small boy anyway, his parents never really caught on. 

It was moving out that became a problem. Now he didn’t have his parents to remind him to eat, he didn’t. He would have a meal here and there but it was a smaller amount than a grown man needed. His body adjusted to it, his stomach shrinking in size to regulate the lack of food. Then he meets Purah and it all goes down hill. There is a thing, that while isn’t a symptom of ARFID, I do associate with Robbie. He doesn’t like to eat around others. It takes him a long time to be able to feel comfortable enough to do that. Him and Purah move in together straight away, and he does end up getting comfortable, but straight after they are thrown into a war, which is where the big problem starts.

Onto the bulk of it.

No one at work really notices that this is an issue because no one knows him all to well, they all just assume he doesn’t have Lunch. Purah obviously knows and she already concerned. Not a huge amount but enough to give him gentle reminders to eat, his answer to that is ‘thanks doll, but I ain’t too hungry’.

Another HC that is kind of important is my Robbie both drinks alcohol and smokes herb religiously. If he’s not working he’s drunk or high or still working. He has a very high alcohol tolerance, so it takes him a lot to get drunk, but because he’s drinking on an empty stomach, the alcohol comes back up after every couple of drinks. And with smoking, Herb (here's some info on herb) makes you really hungry which is great! He’s eating! Then Purah realises its the only time he’s eating, which is a bit of an issue.

This is when he starts to pass out and throw up. He passes out from hunger every couple of days but recovers from in really quick. He’s back up in an hour. It becomes so frequent however that employees (that aren’t Purah) just move him to the closest wall and carry on working. He throws up literally every time he eats when he’s sober because his body is reacting badly to the sudden intake of food.

Purah then bans him from fieldwork due to sickness. If he faints on the field, whatever he’s doing isn’t going to stop for him, and she is not letting her best friend die, especially on her hands. So he was tied to his desk. That means he’s getting very little exercise as field work was his only form of it. And due to field work he was a very built person. When that stopped, he lost muscle mass and Purah saw how bad he looked. He was gaunt in the face, his arms and legs looked like they could snap at any moment. He looked old and skinny and it was a ungodly sight. 

Then the big thing happened. The final battle was taking place as they spoke which meant they had been slumped under with work. They had no time off, which meant no recreational drugs like herb, which meant no eating. Robbie hadn’t eaten for about 2 weeks. Purah thought he was doing well, every time she asked him, ‘did you eat?’, he’d lie and say yes just to get her off his back. And he had been so high of off adrenaline from work, he hadn’t passed out. From an outsider’s perspective, he was improving. Then he passed out again. Then he didn’t wake up after the hour. Many workers believed he was in a Coma, as he was clearly still alive but unresponsive. After 2 days he finally woke up, and Purah had had enough. She was ready to snap, he had lied to her face multiple times and could’ve nearly died. 

She finally makes him visit Mipha (who becomes a doctor after the calamity) , who sends him to Gerudo town who harbours the only family of mental health professionals in Hyrule (who are very underground as they aren't trained). They keep him with them for a few days to start him off. He gets a food diary and is told to try and maintain a diet of two small snacks a day. Just to get his stomach used to food again. From that they plan to build up his diet. He never gets to 3 meals a day. The most he has is a morning snack (which is clearly breakfast but he refuses to call it that) and an evening meal. It takes him about 40 minutes to eat his morning snack (two slices of toast) and an hour and a half to two to eat his evening meal.

He never gets back to where he was. To as strong as he used to be. After his body gets used to food, he takes training back up. He begins to train with Impa but she's pushy and demanding and he's stubborn and weak so they butt heads a lot. Instead Impa changes places with Link, who is kind, patient and motivating. Robbie slowly starts to build up his strength (and in turn back up his battle skills). His body is still thin but he's getting better, and the steps count, no matter how big they are

I know that was incredibly dark but a lot of the best headcanons are in my opinion. I made sure to do my research on the topic but if I got anything wrong please correct me!

[shijiujun]

[ENG] History3: Trapped Novel - Chapter Eight

Translation Masterpost can be found here

Disclaimer: Translations are entirely mine - these are not official translations and some phrases have been changed for better English interpretation so you’ll definitely see better/different translations elsewhere. Also keeping in mind when we translated this we aren’t exactly thinking about the style of writing and this translation is as close to the novel as we can make it XD So yes, some parts may be a little awkward to read. And yes some teeny weeny details and words may not turn up in the translation because the Chi to Eng mind acrobatics didn’t work out. If you see asterisks, scroll all the way to the bottom for notes!

Full chapter below the cut

*Note: ERMMMMM I’M BACK? So there was a plan for Chapter 8 and 9 translations, but I didn’t want to leave this until like 2021, so I’m trying my best to just clear it before New Years. Not sure how many of y’all are still reading this, but... I just don’t want to remember that this is incomplete hahahaha, so yeah, I did Chapter 8, and Chapter 9 should be up within the next couple of weeks, so it’ll be pretty and complete for 2021!

Chapter Eight

The act of handing Li Zhi De over to the police force led to the emergence of dissenting voices within Xing Tian Meng, and even the elders that were initially approving of the reform were beginning to shift towards a neutral position, stopping the biddings that were proceeding at hand.

Jack is walking towards the spot where he parked the car, and suddenly, someone emerges from behind a pillar and stops him in his tracks.

“Chen-ye would like to speak to you.”

After coldly shooting the man a glance, Jack gets into the other’s car and is brought to a tea house. Jack walks inside, and as expected, he sees a man with a scar on the right side of his cheek — Chen Wen Hao.

“I didn’t expect Chen-ye’s invitation.”

“When it comes to talented people, even if I have to personally make the trip, I will,” Chen Wen Hao pours a cup of tea for the other, and Jack raises the cup in a sign of respect for the man, before drinking it.

“Liang Dian, based on your intellect, you should have long established your own gang.”

“…”

Jack shudders, the sensation coming straight from his chest, and looks at the old, scheming fox before him without the slightest change in his expression. Fang Liang Dian, that is his real name, and the people who know this name are mostly dead already. From this, he can see that Chen Wen Hao has indeed gone to great lengths to obtain this information.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the ends of his lips curve up in a smile as he picks up the teapot and pours a second cup of tea for himself.

“Tang Yi spared no efforts in sending his own subordinate to the police, is such a person still worthy of being followed? Aren’t you afraid of becoming a second Zhi De?” Chen Wen Hao says as he looks at the young man before him, sliding a document filled with a list across the table.

“This is everything Wang Kun Cheng has in Taiwan, I can hand them all over to you.”

The red-haired man plays with the black leather gloves he has in his palms and without looking at the contents of the document, he returns, “How immense these benefits are, but… what do I have to exchange with Chen-ye?”

“You’re indeed interesting,” he answers, his eyes filled with impress at Jack, “I want Xing Tian Meng and Shi Hai Corporations’ data on their flow of funds, their current client lists, and also their proceeding bidding cases, as detailed as you can get them.”

“Aside from Tang Yi and Zuo Hong Ye, even Gu Dao Yi may not fully have a grip on all these you mentioned, Chen-ye, don’t you think that your exchange offer of Wang Kun Cheng’s power in Taiwan lacks sincerity?”

Jack raises an eyebrow, and bored, he takes out his butterfly knife and begins to flip it in his hands. A young henchman immediately steps up to stop him upon seeing this, but Chen Wen Hao interrupts him.

“Speaking to me with this attitude, aren’t you afraid that I’ll kill you?”

“Since Chen-ye is the one with a request, he can surely be like Liu Bei, and lower his position humbly to obtain what he wants.”*

Chen Wen Hao pats at the surface of the table, and loudly says, “Good, I did not place my bet on the wrong person! Liang Dian, Xing Tian Meng’s pool is too small, and it is a pity for you to stay here. You should come and discuss the Cambodian business with us.”

“Okay,” Jack smiles at Chen Wen Hao, the movement of the butterfly knife in his hands coming to a stop.

—

Investigations Team Three

Tonight, Zhao Zi is taking the night shift with Shao Fei, and one of them is standing in the office with the glass door closed, a cardboard box opened on the table and taking out the items inside one by one.

The box contains the last of Li Zhen-jie’s belongings, there are medals and awards, her police badge and also a team photo of Team Three.

“Boss, think back carefully, was there some connection and interaction between Li Zhen-jie and Chen Wen Hao?”

“When Li Zhen was transferred to Team Three, Chen Wen Hao was already in prison, so I don’t think they knew each other.”

“But there is Li Zhen-jie’s signature on the prison’s meeting logbook, I confirmed this, and it is indeed her handwriting. And she even went to see Chen Wen Hao with Tang Guo Dong!”

“Wait, when was this?”

“1990.”

Shao Fei looks through the things Li Li Zhen left on one hand, and recalls his conversation with Shi Da Pao.

“Since Boss said that Chen Wen Hao was already in prison before Li Zhen-jie transferred into the team, then she might have gone to see Chen Wen Hao for a case? But even if she was investigating a case, why would she have gone to see Chen Wen Hao with Tang Guo Dong? What is the relationship between them? Why did the both of them die in the same place?”

Opening the circular tube containing a graduation certificate, he doesn’t see anything else, and rifling through the books left in the box, he doesn’t find any other clues hidden between the pages either.

“Ah!”

Shao Fei yells in frustration, his hands pulling at his hair hard.

Incorrect! There has to be a clue he missed, he doesn’t believe that Li Zhen-jie was in cahoots with Xing Tian Meng, and so before she died, her meeting with Tang Guo Dong was definitely not because she wanted to leak information to him.

There has to be some other reason that made Li Zhen-jie contact Tang Guo Dong, there has to be!

It’s just, where exactly is the missing clue to the puzzle? Where is it?

“Damn it!” Shao Fei swipes Li Li Zhen’s belongings to the ground, and regrets it immediately the next second. Holding his head in his arms, he tries hard to breathe and calm his emotions down. Seeing the photo of himself and Li Zhen-jie, he remembers that when he first entered the team, he brought quite a lot of trouble to her because of his impulsive nature, but she never once chided him for it. Instead, she would generously teach him everything she knew.

“Li Zhen-jie…”

Looking at the him dressed in his police uniform and making a stupid face standing right next to Li Zhen-jie in sadness, he picks up the music box at the bottom of the box, turning the latch at the bottom to open it up as he listens to the melody repeat itself.

Suddenly, he sees a corner of what looks like paper trapped inside the box, and so he carefully uses the tip of his fingernails to grab at the corner of the aged paper, wanting to open it to see.

Shao Fei looks at the paper in disbelief, his eyes wide, this is actually something Chen Wen Hao wrote to Li Zhen-jie… a love letter?

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, and the only right thing I’ve ever done is to love you. — Wen Hao

“My god!”

Shao Fei cannot believe his eyes, and so continues to explore every corner of the music box, and as expected, he finds a birth certificate issued by a hospital and on it is printed…

Name of Mother - Li Li Zhen

Name of Mother’s Significant Other - Unspecified

Date of Birth - 21 October 1990

Gender - Male

“Li Zhen-jie had a kid? And the date of birth is 21 October 1990?”

How strange, why is this date so familiar?

Hold on!

“Don’t be too touched, after all I did chase after you for four years, of course I would know today is your birthday. 21 October, Libra, people who are born on this day have extraordinary personalities and thoughts, especially when it comes to personal matters, they are more persistent and firm in attitude.”

“Pfffft…. how accurate! Super accurate!”

21 October 1990, isn’t this Tang Yi’s birthday? Also…

“How coincidental, Li Zhen-jie also has a similar music box.”

“Is that so? This is the only thing my mother left me.”

“Could it be…?”

A thought suddenly flashes across Shao Fei’s mind, and so he picks up his jacket and rushes out of the office. He almost bumps into Zhao Zi, who has just come back from buying supper.

“Huh? Ah Fei where are you going? Ah Fei? Ah Fei?”

Shao Fei holds onto his steering wheel tight, his thoughts jumbled up in a mess as he drives at an urgent speed on the road.

Suddenly, the phone he left on the passenger seat rings. Turning his head for a brief glance, he sees that it is Tang Yi.

“I’m working on a case, let’s leave it at that for now.”

He quickly responds after picking the call up, and then hangs up immediately after, slamming his foot down on the accelerator to a destination unknown.

“…”

Inside the Tang mansion, a Xing Tian Meng leader sitting behind his study desk in his office, looks dumbly at his phone.

Someone actually dared to hang up on him?

“Forget it,” Tang Yi sighs, looking at his dark phone screen helplessly, and continues working his way through unfinished work.

—

Investigations Team Three, The Next Day

Lu Jun Wei hurriedly runs into the office, and seeing their Captain, he rushes until he’s right in front of him, “Bad news! Li Zhi De died in the prosecution’s holding room!”

Shi Da Pao tugs at his own shirt, his face filled with alarm and fear, “What happened? Why did he suddenly die?”

“I’m not very sure either, all I know is that it is all under investigation at the moment.”

Shi Da Pao looks at Zhao Zi, who was in the interrogation room together with Lu Jun Wei after midnight, and asks, “Did anything strange happen yesterday during interrogation?”

“No. Li Zhi De refused to speak, and thankfully, Guan Zhi-ge was there, that’s how we managed to get some information out of him.”

“Zhou Guan Zhi? Why was he interrogating with you guys?”

Zhao Zi scratches at the back of his head, and seeing his unusually furious captain, explains, “Because Li Zhi De was very tough to handle, and Guan Zhi-ge said that he could assist us.”

Shi Da Pao immediately shoves the documents in his hand away and walks out of the team office. Seeing their boss suddenly leave like this, the rest of the team exchange looks, revealing concerned expressions.

—

Tang Household

“Ah De’s death was sudden, we need to find out who exactly did it.” Tang Yi instructs while simultaneously walking into the house as he loosens his tie, his expression serious as he faces Jack.

“Yes, boss.”

“And take note of the reactions from each Xing Tian Meng faction, we must reassure our own people. After all, I was the one who sent Li Zhi De into the station, if we don’t handle this well, it will affect the progress of Hong Ye’s current accounts.”

“I understand, I will handle this immediately.”

After Jack leaves, Tang Yi picks up his phone and once again dials for Shao Fei’s phone number, but he is still directed to leave a message after no one picks up.

“I’m Meng Shao Fei, leave a message if you have something to say, if not, hang up, thanks!”

“Meng Shao Fei, where exactly are you?”

How could he not pick up his calls or return any of his messages for a whole day?

Irritated and frustrated, he walks towards his study, and the moment he pushes the door open, he sees the man who has been missing in action for almost 30 hours standing right in front of him. The man is smiling, delighted as he presses at the phone’s mic function, and replays his previous voice messages.

“Meng Shao Fei, my whole life, no one has ever dared to not pick up my calls, and not return any of my messages!”

“Where are you? Why aren’t you picking up my calls?”

“Shao Fei, it’s been a day, it’s okay if you don’t pick up my calls, at least send me a text message to let me know you’re safe, okay?

“Shao Fei, I’m really worried about you. Can you call me? I want to hear your voice…”

Shao Fei stares as Tang Yi’s expression morphs from embarrassment to anger, and smiles, “59 calls and 15 messages, you were that worried about me?”

Tang Yi glares at the person before him, and angry, he says sarcastically, “I thought Officer Meng had evaporated from the face of the earth.”

Shao Fei walks over and apologises, tightly hugging the other, “I didn’t realise that my phone fell under the car seat, and was out of battery. I’m sorry I made you worry for so long.”

Turning his hand and returning the hug from his lover, who always manages to make him feel unlike his usual self, Tang Yi sighs, “The next time you go missing, I will put a tracking device on you. What super important case is this, that you would not even realise you didn’t have your phone on you?”

“…”

Shao Fei looks at Tang Yi, hesitant as he wonders if he should tell him what he has found so far.

“What is it?” the other asks, sensitive to Shao Fei’s unusual reaction.

“Tang Yi, do you remember the names of your adoptive parents?”

“He Ru Yu, Li Shou Xing.”

Tang Yi’s brows are furrowed, as if incredibly unwilling to bring up these two people. Shao Fei takes out the notebook he has with him and flips to a specific page. He lets Tang Yi confirm the details.

“This address here, is this the place you used to stay at when you were younger?”

“Why are you investigating my past?” Tang Yi asks, staring straight at Shao Fei with alarm, caution and confusion.

“I’m not investigating you, I was actually on another case, and who knew I found some leads related to you.”

“Leads that are related to me?”

“Mnn,” Shao Fei nods, and inhaling deeply once, he gently says, “Tang Yi, I found your mother, your biological mother.”

Before he can finish speaking, the sound of a phone ringing interrupts him. Tang Yi’s looks at Shao Fei, startled, before picking up the call.

“Boss, xiaojie was taken away by He Hang’s people, he said he wants you to go over personally in exchange for xiaojie.”

“He. Hang!”

Tang Yi says these two words through gritted teeth, then pushes away the person hugging him and rushes out of the study.

“Tang Yi! Tang Yi!”

Shao Fei chases after him, worried, and unheeding of the other’s disapproval, he squeezes into the passenger seat and follows the murderous Xing Tian Meng leader to the destination highlighted by He Hang.

—-

Investigations Team Three Office - Staircase Landing

Zhou Guan Zhi is slammed heavily against the wall in the staircase landing, held up by Shi Da Pao via his collar.

Because the impact of the force used was too heavy, the man whose back struck the wall ends up in a coughing fit.

“Li Zhi De’s matter, were you the one?!”

“The person died at the prosecution’s office, how is that any of my business.”

Zhou Guan Zhi pushes Shi Da Pao away, turning around and about to leave, but the other man immediately grabs at him.

“If it wasn’t you, how would you have known that he’s dead? And you also know exactly where he died?”

He deliberately used the word ‘matter’ to replace ‘death’, and so if Zhou Guan Zhi really had nothing to do with this, then his first reaction would be similar to that of other Team Three members. It would be disbelief, fear and alarm, and not this look, as if he knew about this much earlier. Even the fact that Li Zhi De was transferred to the prosecution’s interrogation room from their own after midnight, he knows such a detail this clearly.

“You were afraid he would implicate you, and so you killed him, didn’t you?”

“Of course I’m afraid he will expose me, but boss, aren’t you afraid?”

Shi Da Pao’s eyes shift, and he retorts, “You were the one who murdered him, it’s nothing to do with me.”

“How could this not have anything to do with you? The one who let Ah Fei do as he like and investigate this case was you, the one who allowed him to protect Tang Yi right at his side was also you. In the end, we even got to the stage where Li Zhi De was brought back to the station, of course I had to silence him! If I wait until he reveals everything then you and I both are done for.”

The man, his gaze murderous and cold, laugh as he pats at the captain’s face.

“You actually knew what I was doing all along, but when have you ever stopped me during these four years? You gave the silent approval to your subordinate to sell off the drugs the police force obtained in return for a profit. Shi Da Pao, do you still think this has nothing to do with you?”

“…”

Shi Da Pao is speechless as he hears Zhou Guan Zhi’s accusations.

“Besides, that case four years ago, you were also a bystander who did nothing to stop it. What was Li Li Zhen’s relationship with you, that you would allow the rumours of her cooperating with Xing Tian Meng run rampant in the station? And you never once helped to clear her name, so you’re an accomplice. You are an accomplice who caused the death of others for your own greed, just like me!”

The last few words smash through the last of Shi Da Pao’s strength, and he numbly sits on the stairs. Covering his face in guilt, his voice weak, he says, “Why didn’t you just stop at the incident four years ago? Ah Zhi, you have already earned so much in the past few years. It’s enough! Stop already!”

“Enough?” the person who hears this cranes his neck upwards and sneers. “We police officers put our lives on the line day in and out only to earn this meagre salary. It’s not even enough to stuff the gaps of my teeth, how do I deal with those chasing me to repay debts? Stop putting yourself on a high horse, you are no different from me.”

Shi Dao Pao puts down the hands covering his face and looks at the person who’s slowly descending into insanity, and shakes his head, “You’re like this because you gamble, and this is your just desserts. And me… I did it to save my daughter. These four years, I’ve never once had a restful night, and I live in terror and regret everyday.”

Zhou Guan Zhi smirks, his eyes slanting to look at the person seated on the stairs, “Boss, as long as you took the money, your hands are dirty. No matter if it is because I deserve it, or if you were forced into a dead end, you’ve been tainted, and it is what it is.”

“Besides, isn’t it the money you took that year which allowed Xiao Ya to live on happily, all the way until now, when she’s able to have her wedding? So it doesn’t matter who wants to dig up the case from four years ago again, I will definitely not let him get away!”

He knows Zhou Guan Zhi is referring to Shao Fei, who has been so focused on the homicide case from four years ago, and he finally stands up, grips at Zhou Guan Zhi’s shirt collars and yells for him to stop.

“Ah Zhi, stop! Don’t fall any deeper into this!”

“Boss, don’t worry. I’ll be very subtle, no one will be able to find out. As long as you don’t say anything and I don’t say anything, after a period of time, this will be slowly forgotten by everyone,” Zhou Guan Zhi says, arrogantly slapping away the hands at his collar and turns away.

“Ah Zhi, aren’t you afraid that I will turn myself in and expose you?”

“You!”

Zhou Guan Zhi turns back abruptly, his eyes betraying his impulse to strangle Shi Da Pao to death right at that very moment, but Shi Da Pao is no amateur either, and if they really do get into a fight, he will not have it easy. Instead, he tries the soft approach, lightening his tone as he tries to convince his Captain that they are both on the same boat.

“Boss, don’t do foolish things. Xiao Ya is about to get married, and you’ve done so much for her. Don’t you want to see her happily get married, and become the most beautiful bride?”

“,,,”

Shi Da Pao’s eyes tear up as he keeps silent, Zhou Guan Zhi hitting him where it hurts. Seeing that he has gotten his way, Zhou Guan Zhi smiles, smug as he stuffs his hands into his jacket’s pockets. He leaves the staircase, whistling casually as he goes.

—

In an Abandoned Factory

Chen Wen Hao sits on a chair, two men standing next to him on his sides. On the other chair, Zuo Hong Ye’s hands have been tied behind her, and a cloth is stuffed into her mouth, but she displays no sign of fear as she glares at He Hang, who has a gun pressed to her temple. Tang Yi, who arrived with Shao Fei, nods at Gu Dao Yi, who has been waiting outside for a while, and the three of them walk into the abandoned factory that is filled with a metallic stench.

“I’m here, let Hong Ye go.”

“No problem. My target is not her. He Hang, let Zuo-xiaojie go.”

“Boss, aren’t we making it too easy for Tang Yi by letting Zuo Hong Ye go?” He Hang refuses to loosen the ropes on Hong Ye as he glares at Tang Yi in fury.

“Tang Yi, I’ve been in Xing Tian Meng for so long, why did Tang Guo Dong let you become leader? How much authority does Xing Tian Meng wield in the underworld, and you want to go legal and reform? Aside from cutting off our brothers’ path to riches, you also handed one of us over to the police! I might as well just kill you here, lest you get in the way.”

The gun that was pressed to Hong Ye’s brain suddenly shifts to the Xing Tian Meng leader standing before him, but all he gets in return is the other’s cold laugh, full of ridicule and mockery for He Hang.

“You? If you were really capable, how would you have repeatedly failed in trying to assassinate me?”

“Fuck! I will kill you right now with a single shot, do you not believe me?!”

“He Hang, did you forget that I am still here? You’re in no position to talk here.”

“Chen… Chen-ye… but…”

Chen Wen Hao’s seemingly light tone belies a chilling warning under it, and He Hang retreats, not daring to say another word.

“Yes… yes, Chen-ye…”

Drenched in cold sweat, the man immediately keeps his gun, and loosens the ropes on Hong Ye, then pushes her towards Tang Yi. Tang Yi catches Hong Ye, and asks, concerned, “Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Dao Yi, take Hong Ye and go.”

The bespectacled man stands between He Hang and Hong Ye, as if guarding against the possibility of another attack should the other man change his mind.

“I’m not going to leave, I want to face this together with you at your side.”

“If you get hurt I will hate myself, so, just go!” Tang Yi says in a low voice, tightly holding onto Hong Ye’s arm.

“I understand, you be careful,” Hong Ye bites at her lips, her eyes reddening as she leaves the factory under Dao Yi’s protection.

Chen Wen Hao gets to his feet from the chair and circles Tang Yi as he walks, just like a predator playing with its prey, and says, “Do you know why I had to find you today? Is it because you killed Wang Kun Cheng? Because you cost me losses of several ships worth of goods? Because you sent a bunch of my brothers to jail? Or-“

Suddenly, Chen Wen Hao stops in his footsteps right before Tang Yi, and stares into his eyes.

“Is it because four years ago, you saw the crime scene of Tang Guo Dong and Li Li Zhen’s death?”

“…”

Anger flashes in Tang Yi’s eyes, and the moment he takes a step, he is stopped by the other’s raised gun.

“No! None of that! I got you to come here because you are Tang Guo Dong’s son. Tang Guo Dong stole my woman, caused the death of my and Li Li Zhen’s child, and found someone in prison to create trouble for me, made me go through 24 years in jail. Twenty. Four. Years!”

“…”

Shao Fei stares at Chen Wen Hao in surprise, recalling the brith certificate he saw not long ago.

Li Zhen-jie’s child, was Chen Wen Hao’s? Tang Yi’s biological mother, is Li Zhen-jie? So… Chen Wen Hao is Tang Yi’s real, biological…

Chen Wen Hao does not see the young officer’s face go white, and continues, “When I came out, Xing Tian Meng became yours? What a joke, how is it that Tang Guo Dong could have everything, but I ended up with a broken family and nothing to my name? No, this is not fair, isn’t it?”

He pauses for a while after, and a dark, vicious smile emerges, “So… I want you… dead!”

All the men that were guarding outside of the factory suddenly rush in, surrounding Tang Yi and Shao Fei from the back. The both of them have no choice but to put up both their hands and pretend to surrender. Shao Fei takes half a step, opening his mouth to say, “Chen Wen Hao, Tang Yi, he’s-“

“Shut up, this is no place for you to talk.”

Tang Yi suddenly falls to the floor, avoiding the line of fire from the barrel of the gun and kicks out at the man holding the gun on him. It is only after the man falls does Tang Yi snatch the gun away, turning back to face Chen Wen Hao, the gun pointed at him.

At the same time, Chen Wen Hao has his gun turned towards Tang Yi.

“Chen Wen Hao, I’ve devised this plan for four whole years, all to force you to come back from Cambodia to take revenge for Tang-ye, because, it was you who killed him!”

“No! I didn’t kill him!”

“Shut up! You’re going to pay with your life!”

“Tang Yi!”

“Don’t stop me!”

Seeing that things are about to spiral uncontrollably, to a point of no return, Shao Fei can no longer care about anything else, and quickly blurts out the truth from that year.

“Don’t shoot! Chen Wen Hao is your father!”

===

*This is a metaphor and you can temporarily ignore who Liu Bei is.

[duraxxor]

Character Sheet: That Damn Trio

Uh oh, it would seem Duraxxor has gotten himself in a lot of trouble this time around! He’s been split into three pieces of his former self! Oh the humanity! Well there’s only one thing to do. What’s that? Well, we go on a wild adventure to put him back together, of course! That’s why I have decided to create character sheet to explain and every one of the fragments and their traits. So without further interruptions, let’s get down to the material! 

Character No. 1

Name: Daev  ( Pronounced just like Dave ) 

Race: Sin’dorei?

Height: 5′ 8″ ( down from the 6′ 4″ that he once stood at. )

Hair Color: Silver Blonde

Eye Color: None, his eyes are as clear as glass

Age:  “ I was only born not that long ago... I jest though... “ 

Physical Traits: When a person comes in contact with Daev, the first thing they may notice as his youthful appearance. Unlike Duraxxor as a whole, Daev has the physical body of a young adult that has suffered from lack of muscle. Despite this, he seems able to stand straight and maintain himself but is unable to physically apply the strength and running speed he once had. The scar that once dominated his features is now shrunken down and appears to have lining that almost reminds some of a stitching, so to speak. Perhaps even mending? The same can be said about the majority of his black attire that decorates his body other than the sleeve that appears to have torn on the right side. A thin trench coat and a pair of black leather britches that are only matched by a pair of boots below. One can also notice the pair of snake bites piercing on his lower lip that seem to have appeared as he no longer bears even a semblance of the elven fangs gene. 

Personality: Quiet and probably the most balanced of his former self. Daev seems to be given the nickname of being the Heart of the Trio. And with good reason considering he is probably the very being that keeps the other two in existence. He is never to quickly jump to violence and seeks to see how people function and feel. Selfless thought and under normal circumstances, kind to those that share a mutual respect for him and his space. Although he is the most attuned to multiple emotions, he has a hard time properly expressing them and it may even come out in a series of riddles. However, he does seem to have something to say for every type of person. 

Abilities: Lack of physical strength, Daev has to rely on his mind and quick thinking if he hopes to manage avoiding being killed off with the help of his familiars. It isn’t known whether he retains much of his weaponry training, other than having a dagger tucked away under his coat that appears to have a significance, or perhaps even symbolic value. Despite his familiars having their own personalities, he seems able to maintain control of them in certain moments and can even call them or dismiss them at will. Daev’s greatest ability is that he has so much untapped potential that is it unpredicted what he may learn in his stay within the Shadowlands. 

Character No. 2 

Name: Randdu ( Ron-doo ) 

Race: Familiar ( Bat ) 

Height: Unspecified, look to his Abilities for details

Hair Color: White

Eye Color: A mixture of Red and Yellow

Age: “ Look, man, give me a break. I only look old. “ 

Physical Traits: You feel a piercing gaze always watching you when you approach Daev with his avian shadow, Randdu. He takes on the appearance of most bats native to Azeroth aside from some defined features that make him appear more like a Fruit Bat from our world, bearing a canine-like snout beneath the leathery wraps that are his lengthy wings. Jagged claws appear to be on both the back legs and wing joints, giving him almost the look a humanoid if not for the fact he lacks thumbs. He is the definition of wild animal with personality. 

Personality: The reckless familiar that is highly regarded ( and prideful of himself ) as the symbol of Duraxxor. Randdu is also the loudest and most immature of the trio. He would rather pick a fight and see who is the strongest than listen to negotiations. He also possesses quite the appetite match this need for combat. However, this doesn’t mean he isn’t self aware when he is in over his head, being the quickest to also panic when he feels outmatched, that is until something goes right, then he will simply mock his foe. Warning: He may curse a lot. 

Abilities: Despite his reckless personality, Randdu is actually quite the powerhouse. He is physically strong and can easily pick up something that is three times his own size, which is only matched by the fact that he is able to grow and shrink his form based on the energy reserves he has obtained through his vampiric aura. The more he fights and succeeds, the stronger Randdu gets. Claws, teeth, and even a mind piercing screech are at his disposal. However, the magical affinity seems to lie more so in the fact he is able to cast a blaze of shadows about his form, giving him enough speed to perform a Wraith Flight, an ability that projects his vampiric aura outward and making mere contact results in the sapping of one’s raw energies. 

Character No. 3 

Name: Sphula ( Sph-ooluh ) 

Race: Familiar ( Serpent ) 

Height: 15′ 07″ in length 

Hair Color: “ Crimson Scales, you uneducated pig. “ 

Eye Color: Onyx 

Age: “ To old for you to know. “ 

Physical Traits: While Randdu is regarded to be the visible lurker, Sphula sticks to remaining hidden into his time is most appropriate. The lengthy serpent bears a strange familiarity to the Arcane Serpents of Northrend, but with many more rows of teeth and definitive fangs. He also lacks the ethereal skin until certain abilities are applied. Scales, bladed fings, and circular markings that are akin to chains, this crimson familiar seems to be the most colorful of the trio. 

Personality: Calm until provoked, Sphula recognizes his own intellect and will exercise it when it is most necessary. More often than naught, he is seen wrapped around Daev, whispering into his ear while chastising Randdu. For once to gain conference with Sphula would mean that you either have earned his respect or there is something of worth about you or upon you that he would sooner have you align yourself to their cause. Unlike the other trio, Sphula is not above breaking the rules in his favor. For he believes logic is more important in the case of survivability in the cruel world of a snake. There is one he deems the most worthy of his time: The Lady in the Red @sanguinesorceress​ . 

Abilities:  Not as physically strong as Randdu, Sphula is also a constrictor and has no issue wrapping his long tail around his foes or even applying it in a flailing motion to dispatch someone from approaching Daev. And speaking of which, did you know that snakes can actually jump three times their length? Not just this one, but he can also slip his entire length through objects much like a pocket space just to come out in a near forty yard radius. Sphula is also the strongest when it comes to the use of magic and intellect. He is able to conjure geomancy, hemomancy, umbramancy, and in some cases, cryomancy and pyromancy. But what would a snake be without his bite? Twin fangs possess a potent cytotoxin, which is a toxin that induces tissue necrosis. Keep your hands away from this snakes mouth!

OOC Information Station 

Rp Style:  When interacting with this blog or even the in-game character, I cannot always guarantee that you will interact with all three of them, just as I also cannot guarantee that one of the other’s won’t squeeze themselves into the RP. Otherwise, I am generally laid back and always up to most themes, including the dark and twisted. I am an adult writer and in most cases, I am not so easily triggered and easy to speak with. Please, don’t hesitate to ask questions as I may have an actual answer for them. I also would like to remind everyone that I have been roleplaying in World of Warcraft for nearly ten years. All I ever ask is your undying patience and kindness in return. 

Platforms: Tumblr, Discord, and In-game (Planned) 

If you have made it this far, congratulations. Now to get to the nitty, gritty disclaimer warnings and rules.

1. Roleplaying with The Trio means you have agreed to not knowing the original character Duraxxor is the true identity of these characters without the proper knowledge or permission. Should you regard him as Duraxxor, Alphus, Lord Daevara, Myotis, or any other former alias, it will be ignored in-character. Should this become a continuing habit, I will ask you personally to please stop trying to ruin the mystery of the characters. Let’s make this a fun plot for all, old and new. 

2. If you are seeking to fix the problem as quick as possible, then you have come to the wrong player. I am wanting this particular plot device to go longer than a few weeks or even months as the Shadowlands is going to obviously take longer than a single year itself. There’s going to be hurdles to make evolve these characters over time. You are welcome to speak about being a part of the plot where he attempts to fix himself though!

3. When addressing particular character questions, please specify who you are addressing to unless it is all the above or the mun. This makes my life so much easier and more engaging. 

4. Do not god mod my characters as I would not god mod yours. All of them have their own individual strengths and weaknesses and should be considered only through natural interaction. 

5. More importantly, be respectful and patient. This is a brand new concept I am playing with and I really wish to see it through to the very end and want those involved to have fun. 

Thank you all for taking the time to read this and I do hope that everything is clear! I look forward to roleplaying with everyone and enjoying the Shadowlands storyline! Happy Writing everyone! 

And if you have not read Chapter 1 to the Shadowlands storyline, here is a link to the story is here

[inkykeiji]

Hi lil Pixie!!!💕💕💕 I hope you’re doing well, I wanted to know your thoughts on something..

I work as a hostess in a restaurant, and there is this older guy customer that comes in pretty often. He’s kind of sketchy and the waitresses don’t seem to like him and I can see why, he told me he’s been watching me for a while and he always asks me personal questions. The other night he tried to get my phone number and followed me around the restaurant telling me he would pay me more money (for unspecified work) if I leave the restaurant and worked for him and some other old man that wants to meet me. He said he’s rich and is “trying to give me my big break”.. My manager wasn’t really able to help me out since he’s a customer.. but I was curious if something like this has happened to you? I am sorry for the long ask

hi anon bb!!! <33 i’m gonna tw this just in case & answer under a read more!

**ALSO if ANYONE ELSE has dealt with issues such as these i am begging you to come forward and share your experience and tips with us, please!! <33

tw: harassment, creepy men

so i want to preface this with saying that this particular situation has never happened to me before, thus i am quite ignorant on the subject and all of the advice i’ve given you in this answer are just things that i personally would do to ensure my safety. but take it all with a grain of salt, and please check out the links i’ve included at the end, as well!! <3

first of all, sweetpea, i am so sorry that’s happening to you. that is EXTREMELY creepy and unsettling, and i literally have anxiety FOR YOU just thinking about it. i’ve never worked in a restaurant so thankfully i’ve never experienced an encounter like that. i’ve had men follow me all the way home begging me for my number, which was already pretty scary, and one of them attempted to get into my building (thankfully our security guard was there to stop him!), and i’ve had men follow me in their cars while i’m out on a run, so (on some level) i understand that creepiness for sure!!!

however, these experiences are much different from yours, because this guy is literally coming into your place of work, meaning you’re kind of trapped there for the duration of your shift, and because he isn’t “technically” doing anything wrong (as in, apparently anything that your manager could kick/ban him from the restaurant for) there isn’t much anyone can do. which sucks royally, because what he’s doing IS wrong; it’s almost like a type of micro-harassment—going into someone’s workplace and making them visibly uncomfortable + asking inappropriate questions IS WRONG. that’s not a normal thing to do. FOLLOWING SOMEONE AROUND at their job is quite literally harassment, full stop. in my opinion, it’s total bullshit that your manager couldn’t do much, because in my opinion that should absolutely be grounds to kick someone from the establishment.

and i have to be honest, i’m very surprised that your manager can’t do anything on the basis that this man has been harassing and bothering MULTIPLE workers. anon babie i would take this to HR if you can. i’ve literally never worked in a restaurant so i have no idea how this works, but YOU DESERVE TO FEEL SAFE AND COMFORTABLE AT WORK, and if you don’t, then it is your workplace’s job to help fix that. telling your manager was a good first step; it’s important for them to know! i’m assuming you’ve done this already, but if you haven’t, i’d let your other coworkers know as well (whichever ones you trust and especially those who are experiencing the same thing). make everyone aware of this, because it is serious. everyone needs to know who he is, so if he comes in asking or calling for personal information (such as your next shift) everyone knows not to give it out. i’ve heard of cases of people like this calling the place of employment and acting as a family member—make it known to everyone you work with that your family/friends would never do this, and that you’re not comfortable with anyone giving out that information.

be aware of your surroundings, always. i’m sure you always already are, but please sweetpea be extra careful. carry some sort of defense with you, if you can/if you feel comfortable with it. always let someone trusted know when your shift starts and ends, and if you plan on coming straight home after that or not. if he stays until the end of your shift, have someone walk with you to your car (even then like, we really don’t want this dude knowing which car is yours/what car you drive) or to the bus stop, or begin carpooling with coworkers. if you can, have someone else pick you up from your shift. it’s absolutely disgusting that we have to put these measures in place, but unfortunately this is the reality of the world we live in. in the few experiences where i have had a man follow me, i’ve made some very stupid mistakes (such as going straight home instead of to a public place) because i literally go stupid from fear. it’s so difficult, but try to keep a clear head if you find yourself in one of these situations, and i think all of the suggestions above may act as preventative measures as well. downloading one of those panic apps for your phone that sends like a text or something to trusted contacts in your phone may be a good idea as well!!!

on top of that, if you get stuck speaking to him, be very careful with what you say. we don’t realize just how much information we can accidentally reveal about ourselves through conversation, so be conscious and aware of what you’re saying and try not to give him any important or personal information.

but i want to make this very clear: if this man continues to ask for your number, or continues to ask you to ‘work for him’ after you have explicitly told him you are not interested, THAT IS HARASSMENT. that is absolutely grounds for banishment. if your manager won’t do anything, take this a level higher, to whoever is above your manager. this is NOT okay, and we can’t just let it slide.

ah this is such a tricky situation, but it’s also very scary and i want you to be as safe as you can. i’m so sorry i can’t give better advice; again, if ANYONE else has any advice on how to deal with this, or has experienced a similar situation, i am begging you to jump in and share your tips and knowledge with us.

anon bb i have attached a few links that may be helpful!!!

https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/10-tips-for-dealing-with-workplace-harassment.html

https://www.hg.org/legal-articles/how-to-handle-sexual-harassment-from-a-customer-57809

these last three are a little more general and kind of more for employers, but i wanted to include them just in case, because i feel like there’s some helpful information in there as well!! aaah truly i’m so sorry i’m so unknowledgable on this, i hope this all helps at least a little <333 please stay safe out there my sweet friend!!

https://www.employmentlawyernewyork.com/news/latest/employer-liability-for-harassment-by-customers.html

https://hrdailyadvisor.blr.com/2016/03/04/what-hr-must-do-when-customers-harass-employees/

https://resources.workable.com/third-party-harassment-policy

[lifeofroos]

Part 41. According to the ettiquette you should not randomly appear in someone’s room. 

In short: Nico gets therapy from Dionysus. In this chapter, Hades has an important message for Dionysus. The rest of the story can be found on AO3 and FanFiction.net! Also in Tumblr tags like Dionysus, Nico di Angelo, therapy etc.

This Might Be Crazy: Chapter 41: Nectar

Dionysus woke up when someone turned on the lights in his room. ‘Which one of you insolent brats…’ He stopped talking when he saw Hades looming over him. ‘Oh, it’s you. I am not glad, but I am glad, if you understand what I mean. You being here means that the kids did not learn how to open my lock or how to turn my lights on.’

Hades stared at him just long enough for it to become uncomfortable. ‘Alright.’ He sat down on Dionysus’ desk chair, while Dionysus magically changed into proper clothes and sat up on his bed. Hades coughed. ‘I am here to talk about Nico.’

‘Naturally. I don’t think you are the person to drop in for a chat about the current party scene.’

‘Be serious.’

‘I am. How did your family dinner go?’

‘You didn’t ask Nico?’ Dionysus silently shook his head. Hades sighed. ‘It was fun. Good place, good food, if I have to believe all the others the sauces were to die for.’

‘Oh, that is nice to hear. If that is all…’

‘No, it is not! I asked Nico about his nightmares! That’s why I am here!’

Dionysus’ expression changed from more or less relaxed to concerned. ‘When did you ask him? Tonight?’

‘Well, yes…’

‘Ah. Okay. That’s… okay.’ He took a moment to rearrange his thoughts. ‘What do you think?’ 

‘I think you were right  when you said it was probably the Elder Gods.’

Dionysus nodded. ‘Yes. The weird faces and the screaming voices are pointing towards it.’ 

Hades nodded. ‘I am glad it is something we can identify.’ He thought for a second. ‘Is that weird?’

‘No. Not at all.’ Dionysus put one leg over the other. ‘I also thought about what type of Elder God issue we are dealing with.’

‘Care to elaborate?’

‘Of course.’ Dionysus snapped his fingers. Two glasses appeared. ‘You want a drink?’

Hades stared at his glass. ‘This is just nectar, right?’ 

‘Correct.’

Hades took a tiny sip. ‘I better not go crazy tonight. Now spill. What did you come up with?’

Dionysus swirled the nectar in his glass around. ‘What I think is that it is a migration gone wrong. During the process, a few of the Elder Gods must have gotten stuck in Tartarus again and sought out someone to come free them, even though we all know that is literally impossible. An Elder God can only get themselves out of Tartarus.’ 

Hades looked concerned. ‘That is dangerous, though. People have disappeared because they listened to the Elder Gods.’

Dionysus looked at the floor. ‘Yes. Yet, we know how to make it stop. We can guide Nico through this.’

‘I hope you are thinking of trying the diplomatic route.’

‘I am. We can either have Nico talk to the primordials stuck in Tartarus or help him pick up the signals of the Elder Gods who are there where peaceful Elder Gods go to. If you look at his dreams, both have to be possible.’ 

‘That all sounds logical.’ Hades sighed. ‘Dionysus, I don’t want Nico to get hurt, but I also know this is the only way to help him, and I don’t know what to do.’

Dionysus slowly nodded. ‘He will certainly get a little hurt, but way less hurt than if we allow him to get persuaded into going to Tartarus.’ Dionysus shifted. ‘I would have acted earlier if possible, but if someone is just hearing unspecified voices, I can not lead them to the primordial stand just in case. That would cause more harm.’ 

‘I get it, Dionysus. I mean, it is probably a lot for both of us.’ Just a little more for me, he thought after that.

‘Yes, of course. Of course it is. I don’t want Nico to get hurt either.’

‘Yeah.’ Hades sighed and took a sip. ‘Thanks for the restaurant reservation, I guess.’

They both knew he was trying to change the subject. ‘You’re welcome. Although I must say that Ariadne was the one who originally wanted to try that place out, quite a while ago.’ 

‘Still.’ Hades suddenly narrowed his eyes. ‘Wait a minute. Did you pay for the meal?’

Dionysus raised his eyebrows. ‘No. I would if they had sent me the bill, but they didn’t. Didn’t you?’

‘No, and neither did Persephone. Oh, eh, she was with us. It can’t have been one of the kids either. When we got up and tried to pay, they told us it was taken care of.’

Dionysus stared into his glass. ‘Strange.’ 

‘Uh, yeah. It’s kind of distressing.’

‘Hm. Maybe.’

‘Not?’

‘It might be, but I do not want to think about it right now. It seems pretty trivial and we have other things to deal with.’

Hades gulped the last of his nectar down. ‘If you don’t mind, I am going back. Persephone said she would not wait, but she probably is.’ 

‘Good. I think Ariadne might come later on, now that I randomly woke up.’

‘Good.’

‘Yes.’ 

Hades waved, before he disappeared. 

Dionysus flopped down onto his bed. He stared up at the ceiling. Hm. He had an idea who could have paid the meal. Maybe he would grace Apollo with a visit the next day, so that that issue would be out of the way. But not now - Now he would wait for Ariadne, and then go get some more sleep. 

A/N: Okay boys is it ‘according to ettique’ or ‘according to THE ettiquette’ because I don’t know anymore

POV: you are Dionysus and Hades wakes you up in the middle of the night with an important message, wyd.

Anyway if I accidently called the Elder Gods the primordials in this chapter, would you be so kind as to ignore it? They are not meant to be the same thing. 

[sineala]

Captain America Corps

[This is a repost from my Patreon.] An extra review for everyone this month! I wasn't actually planning to write a review of Captain America Corps, but, then, I wasn't planning to love it as much as I did, either. Surprise! This has been the Book Club selection on the 616 Steve/Tony Discord server for the entirety of September, and it took me all month to get around to reading it, and when I finished reading it on Marvel Unlimited I immediately ran to the internet and ordered myself a copy of the trade paperback, because I needed one of my very own to cuddle. This review contains spoilers for the entirety of the series, so leave now if you don't want to know them. (It also contains a few pictures of elements that you may wish to avoid if you are sensitive to body horror in fiction.)

Captain America Corps is a five-issue miniseries written by Roger Stern, whom you may remember from such classics as his Avengers run featuring the Under Siege arc and his short but extremely memorable Cap run with John Byrne. The art here is by Phillipe Briones, who I don't think I've seen in any other book, but it's nice enough, I suppose. Anyway, it was published in 2011 and is also set then (well, sort of) -- so Bucky is still Captain America (though not for much longer) and Steve is Commander Rogers. (It is still available in trade paperback but it is technically out of print, so you should act now if you want a paper copy.) The best way I can describe my feelings about this book is thus: you know how David Michelinie's 1979 Avengers novel I read and reviewed a few months ago, The Man Who Stole Tomorrow, had an amazing premise -- Kang the Conqueror freezes Steve again and takes him to the future and the Avengers have to go time-traveling to get him back -- but it completely flubbed the actual execution of said premise? Well, Captain America Corps is a lot like that, but it absolutely, perfectly nails it. The premise isn't exactly the same, but it is definitely Peak Comics in the best zany madcap way, and the more you know about canon, the more your familiarity will be rewarded. Captain America is being kidnapped. But not just one Captain America -- Captains America across the multiverse are being stolen, and history is changing around their disappearances. A cosmic entity by the name of Tath Ki has made it his business to right these wrongs, and so to do this he kidnaps some more Captains America of his own. He ends up with a team of five: the Captain America of 1941 (Steve Rogers), USAgent (John Walker, from a small but unspecified number of years prior to 2011), the Captain America of 2011 (Bucky Barnes), American Dream (Shannon Carter, from the MC2 universe), and Commander A (Kiyoshi Morales, from several centuries in the future). So you can see already that this is going to be fun. All the Caps, in my opinion, are very well-characterized -- Steve is painfully earnest and a little inexperienced; Bucky is cynical, jaded, and he kind of can't believe that 40s Steve is looking up to him, which is really sweet; and John Walker is, of course, a complete asshole. I wanted to punch him in his stupid face multiple times, so clearly his characterization is perfect. I can't speak to Shannon's characterization because I've never read MC2, and Kiyoshi is new as of this book, but he is also excellent. So, obviously, because this is a Captain America book, there is a terrible dystopian future for them to fight -- and to show them what's at stake, Tath Ki drops them right in the middle of Dystopian Times Square, and they all get rounded up and imprisoned, whereupon they promptly stage a prison break for the various superheroes (Sam Wilson, Luke Cage, Peter Parker...) that they meet, before Tath Ki brings them back to his home base talk about it, now that he's convinced them that this is a future they have to stop.

(The law enforcement of the dystopian future includes several Americops and the Ameridroid. Remember those guys from the Cap comics? I sure do! Whee!) Tath Ki explains the situation here on this Earth, because obviously there has been some divergence. And the divergence point is this: the Avengers never found Captain America in the ice in Avengers #4. Two new women -- Broad-Stripe and Bright Star (why, yes, those are deeply unsubtle code names) -- ended up on the team instead, but, well... the Avengers just didn't work without Steve, and right when they ought to have founded the Kooky Quartet in Avengers #16, they disbanded instead. All because they'd never met Captain America. Thor went back to Asgard. Hank ended up in a psych ward. Tony died during heart surgery. (Don't worry, I'm coming back to this point later. So is the comic.) So the Caps split up to go see what they can find out about the remaining Avengers. Jan is hanging out with Sue Storm but has been warned about Kiyoshi and Shannon by the villain, and she kicks them out. Steve and Bucky break Hank out of the psych ward. And Tath Ki takes John Walker to Tony's tomb... to find that Tony's brain is missing from his body. Uh-oh. That's never a good sign.

And, oh, yes, Broad-Stripe and Bright Star are the villains of this series. And, what's more, Broad-Stripe is actually Superia, whom you will remember from the infamously terrible Cap arc The Superia Stratagem. It was really bad. It was really, really bad. But reading this has now retroactively made reading that worth it. Anyway, they're the ones who have been kidnapping all the Caps, and the Cap Corps here teams up with the local resistance force (yes, of course there's a resistance) to fight their way to the villains' headquarters. And do you know who else is at the villains' headquarters? It's Tony! I mean, it's Tony's brain. In a jar. Alive. And conscious. (And his eyeballs. I don't know why or how he still has his eyes. I'm trying not to think about that.)

The fact that Tony is now a brain in a jar is what the #book-club channel has been shrieking about with horrified glee for an entire month. If you like sad Tonys, there is no sadder Tony than this. You cannot make a sadder Tony than this. He is a brain in a jar. It's like everything about his favorite transhumanism, gone wrong. He's been there for years. He has never known Steve Rogers, and doesn't that just break your heart? He's suicidal. He begs the villain to finally kill him. He begs Hank to kill him, whether or not the good guys win. His life -- or undeath, or whatever it is -- is so awful that death is, for him, the happy ending. (We already know, canonically, that Tonys who never meet Steve are the saddest Tonys. Fantastic Four: Dark Reign #2, the issue that famously gave us Earth-3490, also gave us a look at Earth-1735, in which Steve is found very late in the superheroing game and Tony has clearly spent all the time in which they should have been Avengers together instead drinking his life away.) Sad Brain Jar Tony fills the good guys who find him -- Hank, Bucky, and Kiyoshi -- in on the villains' backstory and plans, which is basically that Superia has been stealing all the Captains America and has joined up with AIM and gotten herself a Cosmic Cube to shove them all into, and I'm sure we all guessed that that was happening because what even is a good Cap plot without a Cosmic Cube? Anyway, 1940s Steve doesn't meet Tony personally, as far as I can tell, but he does get to hear about him being alive over the comms, at least -- although it wouldn't mean much to him then, because at this point he doesn't know Tony. So all the Caps and Tath Ki and the villains end up falling into the Cosmic Cube along with the rest of the Caps that Superia stole, who are already in there. Steve merges with one of his other self, which breaks the Cube, and the alternate dystopian reality basically... vanishes from existence as everyone goes home. And Sad Brain Jar Tony is finally at peace. *sniff* Due to the mysteries of time-travel, Bucky and the two Caps after him -- Shannon and Kiyoshi -- remember what happened, but the two from before -- 1941 Steve and John Walker -- don't seem to. Except when Bucky meets up with his Steve, the Commander Rogers of 2011, it's clear that Bucky's return triggered something and Steve is starting to remember everything. Then Bucky decides to go turn himself in and face justice for the Winter Soldier's crimes. We get a brief look at Kiyoshi's time, where he's helping christen a new aircraft carrier named after Steve. And that's it. So obviously this is a completely wild plot in the way that comics are the best at, and what I really want most in life now is fic where 2011 Commander Rogers -- who we know is not the best at having feelings where Tony is concerned, because his current reaction to Tony is to scream at him about his feelings, in the snow, surrounded by all of their friends -- has to deal with the fact that he remembers being in a world where Tony is a sad brain in a jar and it all happened because he wasn't there to save him. Heroic Age-era (early Avengers v4) is one of my favorite flavors of Steve/Tony angst, as they work out how to have a friendship again (and are so bad at it that it involves a lot of very public screaming fights), and this just piles the angst right on top. (Yeah, guess what's on my WIP list now.) Objectively, it's not a perfect comic -- it's kind of a mess, but it's a mess in that glorious comics way that comics are so good at. I suspect if you're not here for the Steve/Tony you won't like it as much, but if you are... well, please enjoy pondering Sad Brain Jar Tony in his dystopian, Steve-less future.