#when she was asked if she speaks other languages and just went 'i struggle enough with the english!' cos lol same

[akaanonymouth]

So now I can and want to finish my winter event fic, and the smutty fics, but opening the laptop also means I have to acknowledge and actually start on the batch of translating work that's just been dumped in my emails, and my brain is absolutely noping the fuck out.

[spiderize]

.・'-✧ :-TORN | LSK. -: ✧.

description: you’re leon’s girlfriend and the gals are fighting!!!! 😒😒😒

warnings: angst. leon is still in love with ada wong (me too) while you guys are dating (he loves you too(i think)). english is not my first language so plz correct me if there are mistakes!! first time posting fics on tumblr so expect disappointment because i don't know what i'm doing. THIS IS A ONESHOT! sorry people :(

word count: ~1k

You’re arguing with Leon, again... Your relationship with him has been rocky this year, with many factors adding to that but mostly due to his mission in Spain. This time, it's about Ada Wong. Just saying her name has left a bitter taste on your tongue.

You know of this infamous Ada Wong. Of course you do, how could you not? You haven't seen her, but you've heard stories from Leon. And he always talks so highly of her. And this time, when he came home smelling like women's perfume… you've had enough. You finally decided to confront him, and was met with the heart-shattering truth.

“Fine! I'm still in love with Ada, alright? Are you happy now, is that what you wanted to hear?”

It's not like you didn't expect that, but to hear it loud and clear coming from Leon… it was like the world went quiet. No loud car noises, not even the TV show that you turned on made a sound. All you could hear were his words that pierced right through your heart.

You pressed your lips together and nodded as tears threatened to fall down your face.

“So our relationship was a lie this whole time? I loved you, Leon! I fucking love you..”

You're cursing yourself, mentally. For being stupid. For thinking he was different from other people you've been with. For thinking that you could get married to him.

Leon's eyes soften as he sees your tears, guilt creeping into his expression. He reaches out tentatively, trying to cup your face.

“Don't touch me! Just don't…”

You're screaming at him because you're mad, but mostly because you don't know what you will do if he does end up touching you. You're scared you're gonna lean into his touch and let him make you forget.

“I care about you. Deeply. But there's something about Ada, she's like a part of me that I can't let go. I wish it wouldn't be like this, trust me… But my heart is torn between two different paths.”

His voice is gentle, filled with a mixture of guilt and sincerity.

And you hate him. You hate him for talking in that soft, gentle voice. The same voice that has told you countless of ‘I love you’s. Part of you wish he was just yelling at you.

“Then choose, Leon! Me or Ada?” You asked him, voice now raspy from crying and shouting.

Leon looks at you, eyes filled with conflict. He momentarily lifts his arms to hold you, before dropping back to his side. The hurt was evident in his face as he remembered your words earlier. He takes a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before he speaks.

“I… can't. It's not fair to you… and not fair to Ada. I can't give you a straightforward answer, because I'm stuck in the middle.”

He pauses briefly, and you can hear his wavering voice.

“But I hope you know that I do care about you and I don't want to hurt you. I love you and my feelings for you are sincere and genuine. And if you can find the heart to bear with me through this struggle, then we can work through this together.” He said, and you can sense the sincerity.

But you can't. As much as you wanted this to work out, you can't stand being the second choice. It happened one too many times and you won't let it happen again.

“You can work through this. I can't! Not when I know that I'm not the only one in your heart. So just choose, please…” You choked the words out, wiping your tears but it's no use. They just keep falling down like it's damn Niagara Falls.

Leon's face falls, as if he's been struck by your words. He tries searching your eyes for any signs of forgiveness or understanding.

“I.. I can't. You deserve someone that will give their whole heart to you. And I don't want to lead you on when I'm still confused with my own emotions.”

His voice cracks. He takes a step closer and talks again, his voice barely above a whisper this time.

“I never wanted to hurt you, but… if you can be patient with me, I need time to figure things out, to make sense of what I feel.”

He begs for the last time, his words hang heavy in the air. And you speak immediately. Because if you don't, you're gonna think about his offer.

“Then I'll leave. I can't look at you—or even be near you right now.” You turn your back and walk away from him.

“I'm going to pack my things, and leave. And don't. Don't try to stop me, unless you have an answer for my question.”

And you do. You thought about leaving some of your clothes behind, but the thought of other women wearing your clothes makes you sick. You finished packing your stuff in the bedroom and as you walk towards the bedroom door to leave, you see a polaroid on the table.

You picked it up to see it clearly. It was a polaroid of you, face covered with chocolate cake, while Leon kissed your cheek. You remember this day, every second of it. It was your birthday, everybody was there. It was Claire who smashed your face in the cake. You remember getting mad about it but then laughing a second later.

You smiled at the polaroid, then put it back down on the table. You leave the bedroom and walk towards the front door of the apartment.

Leon was sitting at the couch, face in hands. When he heard you walk to the door, he stood up and looked at you.

You see him, and he looks like a mess. Probably more than you do. His shirt is soaked with his tears, and his eyes are red. He opens his mouth to speak, and you wonder if he is going to beg you to stay. Because maybe you'll listen, this time.

But he closed his mouth as soon as he opened it. Of course he wasn't going to. You speak to him one last time, “Goodbye, Leon.”

You twisted the door knob and walked out of the apartment without looking back. And as you leave, you felt a tightening knot in your chest, because all you wanted was to be loved the way you loved.

[melanieph321]

Dominik Szoboszlai x Black Reader - Not Enough Part 5/6

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary - Reader is excited to meet Dominik's parents but is shocked to find out that they are very prejudiced and do not approve of her.

Enjoy!

Székesfehérvár wasn't as bad as you initally thought. It was nice spending time with Dominik and his family in the little community he called home. Seeing how happy he was simply melted your heart. You spent the afternoon attending his little brother's football game, cheering him on. Dominik cheered the loudest as he was so proud to see Benedek play football again. The passion for the game definitely ran in the family, with Dominik's parents insisting that all of you celebrate the match win with a nice dinner at a lovely restaurant in town.

"Mikor jön Laura?" (When is Laura coming?)

"Bármelyik percben anya." (Any minute mom.)

Although you enjoyed spending time with them it was really hard to connect with Dominik's parents. The language barrier was simply too braud, and having Dominik act as a translator only reminded you of how braud the barrier actually was.

You felt left out, simply put. You sat at the dinner table struggling to keep up with the rapid-fire conversation around you. A fucking waste of Dualingo streaks, you thought.

"Hey?" Dominik squeezed your hand under the table, having caught your drifting gaze. "You good?"

"Sure, I'm fine." You smiled, a fake smile. However, you found comfort in the way Dominik kept caressing your hand under the table. It made you look forward to tonight, when he would sneak into your room again, like a horny teenager.

Dinner went on. Just as you were about to excuze yourself and head to the ladies restroom, Dominik's family shot up to their feet when a young woman approched your table.

"Laura!" They exclaimed.

You looked to Dominik who chuckled at your visible confusion. "It's my sister, Laura."

Like her brother's, Laura's hair was yet black and her eyes brown but bright. Her height also surpassed everyone in her family as she took turns embracing them.

"Nikki!" She exclaimed. "My baby brother is home!" They hugged each other tightly. "And you brought someone." She gasped at the sight of you. "A special someone?"

"Yes, Laura. Please meet my girlfriend, Y/N."

"I knew it!" His sister smiled. "I knew it since our last phone call. You must be Y/N, the singer."

"The what now?"

Not to mention that Dominik's sister was gorgeous, she spoke perfect English as well. Heat rose to your face just shaking her hand.

"The singer!" She nodded. "I was in a call with my brother not too long ago, when I heard a lovely voice singing in the background. When I asked Nikki who it was he refused to tell me, rushing to hang up the phone."

"You did?" You turned to Dominik, a bit taken aback by the fact.

"I did not!" He defended.

"Don't lie Nikki. How come you've never introduced me to Y/N before?"

A really good question. You stared Dominik down in the same way his sister did.

"Well, because..." He stammered.

"Yes?"

He struggled to find an answer and settle with saying, "later is better than never, no?"

"Men." Laura sighed and pulled out a chair to sit beside you. Dinner resumed with Dominik's family going at it again, speaking Hungarian, the words going over your head. Laura must have notice that you were struggling because she too squeezed your hand under the table and leaned over to whispered in your ear. "Don't worry, I'll translate everything for you," she said with a smile.

A wave of relief washed over you once you realized that you had found a friend in Laura. With her help, you could fully participate in the conversation around the table, for once feeling apart of Dominik's family.

However there was one incident....

Aftet dinner as you and Dominik's family left the restaurant, you wandered onto the street, stumbling on your high heels. You reached for Dominik's arm to support you, however he flinched at your touch, causing you to hit the ground and bruise your knees.

"Oh, my God Y/N, are you alright?"

Dominik's sister was the first one to come to your aid, not Dominik, nor his family for that matter.

"Ügyetlen lány." (Clumsy girl.) His mother muttered, looking down on you like a piece of trash along the gutter.

That night you lay awake, waiting for Dominik to come to your room, but for some reason he never came. You wanted to speak to him about his strange behavior towards you, not to mention his mother's shady comment. It was unfortunate that this had been the only time during your visit that you were able to interpret her thick accent. What else could she have been saying about you?

Not able to wait until morning, you got up and left you room. You walked down the dark hall on your way to see Dominik when hushed voices made you pause mid step.

"Are you crazy?" The voice of Laura hissed. "She doesn't deserve this Dominik and you know that."

"I know, I know, but anya and apa will...."

"For God's sake, they won't disown you for being in love Nikki. Even I know that you don't choose who you fall in love with. Have some faith that so will mom and dad."

The voices were coming from downstairs. You stood on the top step of the staircase, fighting back tears. Dominik's next words didn't make feel better either.

"Forget it Laura. I'm not gonna rebel against them like you've done. Mom and dad deserves to be shown some respect for all they've done for us."

"And Y/N, doesn't? Dominik they think she's your personal assistant for God's sake."

You stumbled. A loud thud echoed throughout the quiet house. The voices downstairs fell silent for a moment.

"Benedek?"

You slapped a hand against your mouth, slowly backing away. However, shadows emerged from below.

"Benedek, you shouldn't be up this late, mom and dad will..."

Laura's eyes widened at the sight of you, crouch down on the top of the staircase. "Y/N.....you're awake?"

Dominik appeared behind her, equally surprised to see you, shimmering tears in your eyes.

"Y/N, please let me..."

You shook your head. "Don't."

"Please Y/N, let me..."

"I said DON'T!"

Dominik made the effort to climb the stairs but fell back two steps as you held out a trembling hand.

"I'm going upstairs to pack my bags." You said, voice trembling. "I'm taking the car and I'm going back to get the rest of my things in Budapest."

"Y/N please, you can't..."

"No Dominik, you can't....be serious right now. All this time you've lied to me and to your parents."

"Y/N, perhaps if we could all sleep on it...."

"Laura please." You said, feeling for his sister need to defended her brother. "I'm leaving. Tonight. " You stood, peering down on Dominik. "Without you."

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

[duckies27]

So uh, that last episode huh?

Here's my coping fanfic, spoilers for all of campaign 2

@beeware-of-lulu @demise-seems-dead

Cold. That's all any of them could feel when the party slowly woke up. They came face to face with the Maw, face to face with the secret of Groteth. It was horrible, a secret that changed everything. However, the panic was overtaken by hands yanking them out one by one. The Lochquid was starting to burn at their skins. Thankfully, the croissant had saved their lives. Even a moment later, they would have joined Hugo's fate. Skin completely gone.

Only Ellga and Mathide were awake, but both were clearly out of their mind. Neither could speak, even when prompted in their own languages. Barney and Chip were out like lights, barely breathing. Thankfully, even with the Maw...well, uh, eating the entire land of Groteth? The world seems pretty intact. Jacque and Evena easily scooped them all up and headed to the nearest hospital. The party was settled into a shared room as they were slowly healed and recovered their HP.

Days passed before they all came back to their senses. Mathide was first, asking to see their kitty again. With JJ back on their shoulder, they seemed to relax.

"What did you see?" Evena found herself asking, eyes still locked onto her sister. The silence was painful, hearing anyone's voice would bring some tame to the storm.

"...I wish not to speak of it. I fear if I do-" a clawed hand went to their throat. "I will fall back into that state. I just recovered." A weak smile formed on their face. "Maybe one day."

Ellga was next, but she was quiet. She refused to speak, just looking on the rest of the room. Her eyes would focus on Barney, then to Evenna. It was as if she had to pick between the two families, but she didn't really. The moment she was healthy enough to walk around, she seemed to perk up more. Giving both sides plenty of hugs and playing card games with her sister. Yes, her sister. Even if they weren't related through blood, they were forever connected. No one could beat a good game of war between siblings.

Chip was right after, though it took a while for him to click back to reality. After all, he was the one who had gotten closer to death in the past. It seemed to help once his parents visited. Casual reminders of who he was, that life was worth living. He stayed bed ridden, but played with Ellga and Evenna best he could.

Barney, of course, was last. He seemed more ghostly than before, but in a good way. He smiled, he seemed healthy. For once, he seemed to be himself. Did it suck he was dead? Yeah, but he got to spend the rest of his time with his family. He had spent so long searching, and now he was there.

~ ~ ~ ~

4 months had passed. Groteth was somehow thriving. Though still separated by borders, each land has grown closer.

The Vampire was destroyed, and so were the Vanian laws. Another Count, most likely another high up official, took over the town. Led it to be what Drac wanted in the first place. A haven for vampires, a safe space for all. With the laws gone, it was easier to enter too. The Farney family, including Ellga and Evenna, moved to the outskirts of Vania. Barney remade the farm, and got to relive all that he missed while he was training. Even if that included the troubles of having 2 boys and 2 girls fighting over who got to break the wishbone and which chore was easier.

Ellga kept who she was intact, just let herself remember some of the stuff that came from before her life as a Von Brath. Not that she wanted to keep that name. So she didn't! Ellga and Evenna Farney gladly were adopted into the family. They still have to share a room, but honestly, it's comforting. Sometimes you need to hear the other person breathing or the shifting of blankets. She still has Boris and makes sure that all of her axes are nearly tucked in every night.

Chip hasn't moved on, persay, from Carol. More, learned to live on. Grief is still hard, and he still struggles, but he finds comfort in his new found family. His party, of course, but also his new fellow agents. Yup, out of retirement! Now at Sheath, he mainly works undercover gigs as his natural self. Every Sunday, he shared dinner with the Farney family, and each mission starts with the coffee and pastry of the day from Mathide. Skipper comes with him too, just to keep him on track. The voices, the wish to join Carol and just....

Those faded overtime. Wheezer recommended a really nice phycologist who helped him get on medication and into therapy. Saved his skin most of the time.

Mathide spends their time back at their bakery. Back in Attro City. Made it more of a cat cafe to get an excuse to have JJ and Jacque constant by their side. On their off time, they work to remember the past lost. Their family, friends, life. Doesn't take away, most just...adds to who they are as a whole. Honestly, business is booming now! Mainly thanks to the fresh ingredients from the Farney farm. They don't mind the time shared with Evenna, some trust was lost, but a new family was formed. Not that they would ever admit it.

All was calm and better. Life could move on smoother than before. They got their happy ending, just like we all wanted.

Fanart to follow, I promise

[bonefall]

OHHH OK now im curious. bc of this ask: https://www.tumblr.com/bonefall/729548700508160000/could-be-like-my-cousin-shes-100-percent-deaf-in?source=share about dovewing being deaf. do cats in the BB AU have a signed form of clanmew? or is it basic gestures/just the written form of clanmew for deaf/HOH cats?

signed,

someone who really loves languages (hoping to god i spelled everything right/actually used the right words. ive been rewatching 3 hour psych lectures sine 6am...)

They have a rudimentary writing system! Clan glyphs be upon ye

It's not phonetic Clanmew, it's glyphs. Snowkit, before his tragic death saving Tawnykit, was actually OBSESSED with these. If he'd survived, he would have built these out into something he could use to communicate with. He was actually a really interesting kid.

But, unfortunately... that passion went with him. Whitewing is the next cat born with a hearing problem, and she's really uninterested in them. She isn't the same creative person that he was, and struggled with the fact that her family seemed to imply she had to "live the life he couldn't."

(note: in BB, dovewing is lionblaze's adopted daughter and bio-niece.)

I think there's going to be a big of a tragedy at play, here. Whitewing has figured out her own methods of communication. It's not a full language, but she's able to communicate basic intent with "rudimentary signs" she's created on her own.

She was only ONE degree of separation away from Dovewing (as Birchfall's, Dove's mentor, mate), but...everyone was forcing Dovewing into what THEY felt she needed. More hunting practice, more glyph practice, more lip-reading. Dovewing wasn't allowed to set her own pace or learn in her own way.

And her response was to bolt, taking all the possibility with her.

IT was the right choice for Dovewing, I think. She thinks that too. But, it wasn't the ONLY choice, you know? There's always things left unsaid and things you'll never be able to try when you make such a big decision. Who knows what could have been?

Maybe Dove and White would have ended up creating the start of a brand new dialect of Clanmew Sign Language, or changed the glyph system in a way that fit them better. Maybe that's not what matters; maybe they would have just been able to make each other feel less alone.

But as it is...

Every deaf, HOH, and mute cat in BB is currently disconnected from each other. They can't pool their skills except at Gatherings.

So Fallowfern, Dovewing, Whitewing, and Stoneclaw all have their own unique way of communicating.

There are tail signs which are used for battle, and glyphs which are used for writing.

Info: Those who go deaf later in life are still usually able to speak. Those who were born deaf often have a harder time. (Clarifying because this is apparently not common knowledge?)

OH! Bonus! Here's how each of those four tend to communicate!

Dovewing

She's REALLY frustrated by everyone forcing solutions on her. I think part of her actually really likes that she can say whatever and then not hear the response. It's like, "Deal with it. Show me you care with your actions if it's so important."

ZERO patience for people who just try to talk over her. She will immediately respect you if you listen to her carefully; only then will she give you the time of day to try and talk back. She kinda treats it like a privilege to talk to her, and she WILL revoke it without remorse.

People who have earned this privilege;

Heartstar. Naturally. And all of their children.

All of the Guardian cats, especially Antfur who is her best friend.

Violetshine, weirdly enough. She visits ShadowClan now and then and Dovewing is very fond of her and her wife and husband.

Strikestone and her new family

Squirrelflight

Briarlight

Alderheart and Sparkpelt

Twigbranch

Fernsong (BUT HE IS ON THIN. ICE. As Ivypool's husband.)

Her preferred method of being talked to is glyph writing. Heartstar is really creative with them, and it's super endearing. She improvises signs a lot and draws full pictures, making whole "doodle pages", even writing little "love letters" in the dirt before Dove wakes up. Literally peak romance, Dovewing loves her wife so muchhh

Whitewing

Also has low patience, but in a more "quick" way. She doesn't like people who take a lot of her time trying to phrase something simple and act awkwardly around her. Time is prey to Whitewing-- cut to the chase and communicate what you need her to do.

Interestingly, this leads to her really disliking Bramblestar as a leader. He's very inattentive to her needs when he organizes patrols on his own. She has very strong opinions and bad synergy with some of her Clanmates, and if she's forced on a patrol with them it ruins her day.

(She's really relieved when Squilf is reinstated post-BOTTE, Squilf knows about this quirk and accounts for it.)

Her love with Birchfall was actually a long time in the making. He really sees her, and something about the way they communicate just clicks. It's easy. They were friends, then partners, and then eventually mates and have been close their whole lives. Their body language just makes sense to each other.

She's been deaf her whole life and only knows a few very important words, but won't "speak" words if she doesn't have to. She does have a habit of making noises when she's happy though, beeping, meowing, and meeping when she's surprised and "not in work mode."

Whitewing is the kind of deaf cat in those videos who sees their human is home and goes "MEEEEEEEEEA." She would walk into a bathroom and wail so she could feel the vibrations on her paws. Vocalizing feels good. She is NOT a quiet person unless she's hunting.

Her preferred method of communication is mostly modified tail signs, but ThunderClan broadly uses glyphs, but she doesn't want to correct them on it. She feels bad telling them it's frustrating that they take so long to draw.

Stoneclaw

She has selective mutism. Her vigil was the night of the WindClan Massacre, and while sitting outside the camp with her temporary silence, ShadowClan attacked and killed her sister Thrushwing in front of her.

At first, WindClan thought it was nobility, that she'd "carried out her vigil to the bitter end." But it never healed. It's not a choice, it's trauma. She can speak when she's extremely relaxed but it's a really rare circumstance.

But, the legacy is to her benefit. She's the granddaughter of Tallstar (through Flylight, his adopted son), has an honorable story, and is a strong and confident warrior... in the daytime. She never hunts at night, when the sun sets, so does she.

(Clan cats are crepuscular, working in the morning and in the evening, but Stoneclaw only takes daylight shifts.)

Glyphs serve her fine, but she really dislikes using tail signs to communicate... brings up really bad memories.

She would REALLY benefit from someone making an effort to "legitimize" some sort of CSL, it would be like a support club to her. SO if it ever happened, Stoneclaw would jump at the chance to join. She's probably friends with Fallowfern though, once SkyClan arrives. Stoneclaw lives to become a very old girl.

Fallowfern

Mom of the Road Safety Man, guy who knows a million words for vehicles, Rabbitleap, and best friend and co-parent with Hawkwing, Plumwillow, Fallowfern is an old cat who ends up losing her hearing later in life like Dovewing!

I'm actually not entirely decided on her personality, but I'm feeling that she'd make a really good "glue" to hold everyone together. Like some kind of organizer-type person, someone who's very good at networking. She's really upset to be losing her hearing, it signifies a lot of really negative things to her.

She suddenly can't talk with a lot of people... even the ones who are reaching out to her are doing exactly that. Reaching out to her.

She likes being the reacher-outerer. It feels like being old and washed up.

SkyClan is a very good, connected Clan, with bonds notoriously VERY strong in comparison to the other Forest Four because of shared persecution... but

She's got this awful feeling that everyone's just coddling her, being nice to her, sending her to the elder's den like a trinket on a shelf.

"Does this mean... does this mean I'm going to lose music? Will anyone dance with me ever again? Do my babies want me to join them, or... or are they just tolerating stinky old mama <:( ?"

They're NOT, btw. Of course not. She's Fallowfern and she means a lot to them.

So I think at the VERY least, she finds a fondness for Stoneclaw at Gatherings. Elder friends, girlies who bond over making little grandma bracelets, but I'm not sure if it's HIT them yet that they can do something very cool together.

In fact it would be kind of funny if they weren't even aware of each other's disabilities at first, like they just started hanging out quietly. Fallowfern assumed that Stoneclaw just doesn't have anything to say and Stoneclaw figured Fallowfern was respecting her silence.

Like something just gravitated them to each other in the most natural, orbital way.

And then Snapstorm, Stoneclaw's wife, bumbles up like "Hey babe who's your friend :) ?" And Stoneclaw smiles, nods at Fallowfern to introduce herself, and then Fallow's like... "Oh I can't hear you, honey."

Stone: !!! (Taps self and makes a crossing motion over her throat)

Fallow: O_O "Ohhhh"

BUT, anyway,

Her preferred form of communication is unequivocally glyphs. I imagine SkyClan might have more written characters than other Clans, simply because they used them a LOT during their time apart under Spiderstar's Plan. Plus, they used to see a lot of road signs which they may have just adopted as glyphs.

Hmm... yeah, seems very cute that The Road Family's traffic theme continues, lmao

[gh0stsp1d3r]

yk, i was thinking about dating ladybug being tangerine and lemon's sister, both meet on the bullet train and ladybug thought the reader was too pretty and was very hesitant to try to fight her, and when he found out that she was the sister of the other twins he stayed 😦

oh god i have no creativity, i'm sorry for my english...

I LOVE TJIS IDEA.

The triplets

You sighed and rested your head on the back of the seat. Tangerine talked and bickered with lemon as you didn’t pay attention.

Tangerine snapped his fingers in your face.

“Hello? Earth to cherry?”

“Sorry, sorry.” You said, and regained your focus.

“Anyways, as I was saying, find the case and deal with whoever has it. Cherry, you’re coming with me, and lemons fine on his own.”

“Why do I always have to come with you?” You complained as you guys walked side by side.

“Because, you don’t pay attention, like at all.”

“Fair enough.”

🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞

Once you guys finally found black framed glasses, you realized that you had talked to him earlier, when you first got on the train.

Tangerine grabbed his shirt, and ladybug closed the door. Not much you could do about that. Ladybug tried to kick him, but he grabbed his legs and punched them repeatedly.

Ladybug tried to pin him to the wall, but you kicked him and shoved him off.

Ladybug looked at you for a moment, blinked, and then tangerine went back to punching him. They were in the kitchen now.

You just watched, as they punched each other, he seemed to be avoiding fighting you. Ladybug hit him with the cutting board and that’s when you stepped in.

You stopped when he held his hands out.

“Wait, wait, wait, I know who killed the kid.”

“I couldn’t give a rats ass. Where’s my fucking case?” Tangerine pushed the snack cart over to him, but he kicked tangerine instead, knocking him down.

As he was down, you just watched in amusement, before the door opened. You all acted like nothing was happening.

She came in and got some things, Ladybug stared at you, and tangerine stared st him, and then at you.

“What?” You asked.

“You could’ve helped me at least a little bit.” He said in sign language, so that hopefully the lady didn’t understand.

“Stop being such a fucking baby. You’re fine. Plus he said he know who killed the kid, maybe he can help, you’re always so quick to assume. Plus, he’s kinda cute.” You signed back.

“I hope you know I can sign too.” Ladybug signed and you grew embarrassed. He winked at you and you wanted to die in that moment.

Tangerine shook his head.

Then, he asked the lady for sparkling water.

“Bro, I just remembered I have all my money to that guy to wear my hat and glasses. Could you?”

“I don’t got any money.” He lied, and looked at you.

You sighed “Fucking liar.” You sent him a glance, And asked the lady how much, giving her it.

“A thousand yen, that’s ten quid for that bottle of water.” You sighed.

“Thank you.”

She left and he drunk the water.

“You sure you don’t wanna talk this out?”

“I will.” You said.

“Not, particularly no.” You and tangerine spoke at the same time.

You rolled your eyes at him. “This is why lemon is the better brother.”

“If you think the better brother is the one who speaks about kids shows, I feel bad for y-“ ladybug threw the bottle of water at his face while he spoke.

“Karma.” You shrugged, and tangerine got angry and threw him through the glass. The glass shattered and tangerine started to choke him. You Scrolled on your phone while waiting.

“I know who killed the kid.” He said, struggling.

“Yeah, where the fuck is he, then?”

“He’s on this train.”

“Well that narrows it down, then, don’t it?”

Ladybug pushed the red button you shook your head as they both fell out the train. You grabbed Ladybugs hand, helping him back up. Then you grabbed Tangerines.

They both attacked each other, and Tangerine threw him onto the ground. You handed tangerine chopsticks, and he tried to go for his eyes.

Suddenly, your phone rang. Tangerine looked at you, and you looked at him.

You answered it, and put it on speaker.

“The white death says to get off at next stop holding the briefcase or he will kill everyone on that train.” Tangerine immediately got off him, stumbling his way and making his way to you. Ladybug watched.

“Okay, me and tangerine can make it, but lemons, he’s a little tied up right now.”

“The three of you this time. With the case. Or everyone dies.” He hung up.

Tangerine sighed and sat down. You sat down next to him.

“Paranoid bitches.” You groaned.

“Don’t happen the case on ya by any chance?” Tangerine asked him.

“No”

“Yeah, don’t think we’d reach lemon in time anyways. You’d still got his phone. Do you have a gun on ya?”

He shook his head “Don’t like em’.”

“Me neither.” You shook your head and smiled.

He gave you a small smile back.

“Well, if you two are done smiling and pining over each other, I’m gonna go find Lemon.”

“Just curious.”

“Yeah?”

“Do they even know what lemon looks like?”

🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞

You laughed as you guys made your way back on the train.

“You’re stupid, it’s kinda cute.” You laughed breathlessly as he apologized and went on and on.

“Thank you, you’re not so bad yourself.” He said, and Tangerine was pissed off.

“Look, if you guys are gonna flirt, do it away from me.”

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c14. Antamoro.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: Piazza Grande, Lucio Dalla, Francesco de Gregori.

abstract: hey it's Jude, if you don't like being lied to don't read this because I'm seriously full of shit and these lies will probably bite me in the ass at some point. anyway, spoiler alert, kinda dark ending, but that's what you get having me tell this story. bye.

'You're from Italy?'

'Not exactly', she lied. Put your head in the game, no more information for him. Stay true to your profile. They were walking near a park, she was holding Jinx on a leash. The air was crisp, it wan't windy and the dog was overly excited. She had quickly ran upstairs to leave her bag at her place, put on a scarf and take the dog. When she had gone down the stairs, Simon was waiting for her on the sidewalk. She smiled at him involuntarily, seeing Jinx run towards him to smell his shoes and legs, tail wagging. He slightly bend down to let him sniff his hand. They had been walking in silence for a while, his hands in his pockets, her struggling to keep Jinx from pulling on the leash. He guessed right, she was from Italy. The hand gestures maybe or her fake name, which was Italian. She could't tell him the truth he already knew too much and he was smart enough to come up with the right questions. Thankfully, she was quite good at lying on the spot. 'I was born in Southampton, my dad is from Italy' she said. She was walking a lot slower, Jinx sniffing the grass. 'I heard you speak Italian, though', he noted and she cursed him for being so attentive to details. 'I wouldn't say English is my first language, I only spoke it at school… my mom is Croatian, she met my dad in Italy so I spoke Italian my whole life. I also went to uni in Italy…' she lied. 'What did you study?' he asked. He did have a few questions, some of them less appropriate than others. 'Psychology' she replied, that wasn't a lie. Not a total lie anyway. He wanted to know her life story and he was about to ask her to just tell him about it from her first memories of childhood, but she spoke first. 'I forgot your surname' she said, he told her. 'What's yours?'

'Antamoro.'

He swore that was some kind of witch magic shit, cause he never heard something that sounded like that. Her voice was different when she said it, it was low. She rolled the r on her tongue. Antamoro. It sounded like fucking royalty. It sounded rich and pure, it sounded red and thick like blood. He tried to repeat it in his British accent, and she giggled at the attempt. That made her say it again. Antamoro. It means antidote in Greek. That was his final straw. He was hypnotised. Alba Antamoro. He was thinking about getting it tattooed on his forehead, when she spoke again. 'Why did you join the military?' she asked, and he told her. Some bullshit about serving the country, making a difference. He was young when he joined, he had so much rage. Fighting was all he knew how to do, and he became quite good at it. He even grew to like the paper work, it relaxed him. She sat down on a bench, crossing her legs. He sat beside her while Jinx sniffed and ran around them. Fog had started to set around them. Did she always go to that spooky park? She got a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket. Winston Blue. She took one out and signalled for him to take one as well. He wanted to deny, he felt like he was giving into her. He was letting his guard down. He accepted the cigarette and she noticed he took so long to decide. She chucked and lit her cig. 'How did you end up here?' he finally asked. She wasn't asking him questions about himself, he was the weak one in the situation. He wanted to know her, he was showing interest. So, why the army, why America? She breathed out smoke slowly. 'I took two separate masters degree in clinical psychotherapy and forensic psychology. Both in the UK. Then I came here to get my licence and work cause I didn't want to be in England anymore. That's it' she said, like it was an easy job. Three university degrees, hu? You're smart, Alba, I knew you were smart, he thought. That's how she knew so much and her brain worked so well…She lived all over the place, she must have saw places, visited countries, talked to people, experienced a life he never lived. He thought her parents must have been wealthy, which they were. Alba didn't mention she stole from them to pay her education and had serious debt before she could fully pay it off. Didn't mentioned she worked at Lidl and as a part time waitress for two, miserable years… He looked at her smoke, he rolled up his mask and lit his cigarette. She was calling Jinx who had a stick in his mouth and was running around with it, 'Put it down…' she was saying.

'I thought you were too young to be a therapist' he said, she turned around to face him with a surprised expression. 'How old you think I am?' she asked, her voice bright and chirpy. '24…3..?' he guessed. She chucked, 'I'll take it was a compliment… I'm 26 Simon, how old are you?' She asked back and he told her he was 32. She stubbed her finished cigarette on the side of the bench and placed it beside her foot, she did not throw it on the ground. 'Your family still in Southampton?' he asked when they stood up and she got the dog back on leash. She waited a tad too much to answer. My family is not in Southampton, my family is in Italy and I haven't talked to them in a very long time, because they do bad things for a living. I left because I didn't want to be associated with them anymore and I'm dead to them now. I left and I risked my life and I can never go back, I changed my name, I have a new life and I will never see my home country again. I will never see my mom again, I will never see my dad again, my sister. I've been fucking alone for seven years. I lived alone, I studied alone, there was no one at my graduation, there was no one at Christmas, for New Years, for my birthdays. I ate alone for seven years, I slept in an empty house, sometimes I went weeks without speaking to anyone. I don't have a home, I don't have anyone to hold me when I cry, to be proud of me, to have dinner with me, to take a walk with me. I am a ghost, I am nobody.

'Yes they still live there.'

He walked her home. She asked him more questions, like where he was from. Near Manchester. If his family still lived there. They passed, to that she replied I'm sorry. All of them? He asked her what she was doing with the ballet school, he remembered she talked about choreographies with Gemma in the car. The Nutcracker. She asked how long he had worked for Price, if he liked his job, which he did. She asked him about the mask, she was specific, Do you wear it even when you go in public? Honey I don't go out often. He didn't say that. 'I like it better when I wear it… even in public.' They were in front of her place. She had this big black scarf on, her oversized jumper which was swallowing her figure. Tiny running shoes. She looked tired. In a good way, relaxed. 'Thanks for the walk' she said. 'No problem.' They had spent a good two hours together… who would have thought. He thought that was his cue to leave but she spoke again. 'Thanks for listening to the crater story. I'm not expecting you to do anything, tell Price or whatever. You're right, it could be a coincidence, I don't think it's worth pursuing.' She sounded sincere. He offered her a small smile that she couldn't see because of the mask. 'Sure.'

'Goodnight Simon. Drive safe.' she said.

'Night Alba. Thanks for dinner'.

When he got back he ran into Johnny on the way to his room. 'Oi, where have you been, did you go out?'

When she got home, Salvo had replied to her message saying she had dinner with the Lieutenant. The message read: 'What the fuck??? call me???'

notes: if you ever lived abroad for a long time you know how it feels to know you don't belong anywhere. the loneliness. the silence. and at the same time, doing what you love, studying or working and feeling like you're achieving so much and all on your own. you came so far and the only person to thank is yourself. I want to tell you through Alba's story how it feels to get out of a small reality in a part of Italy that not very educationally oriented. being able to get away and discover what is actually like to live, to become an adult by yourself. the realisation that you've been doing it all alone is hard to manage.

notes: she thinks she's a Ghost (I love this, the invisible string). also I realised when I was proofreading that I wrote 'I had no one to have dinner with me, to take a walk with me' which she had just done with him… blushing.

notes: i fucking love the surname Antamoro, which I think it's from the Northern part of Italy (where Alba is definitely not from eheheh). also, the fact that it means antidote is fucking perfect to describe her relationship with Simon. btw, you pronounce it exactly how i't written, but you can check google translate.

taglist:

@ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[darthgloris]

The Artist (Alicia Sierra x fem!reader)

Summary: Y/N (a.k.a. Akita) is part fo the robbery and works backstage as negotiator. Even though her career in art didn't work out, she still loves it. When she meets the leader Inspector she feels immediately drawn to her and starts sketching...

Requested: yes

Warnings: mentions of violence, fluff, teasing, SPOILERS

A/N: sorry but I lost the request! I'm really really sorry, hope you can forgive me!! Here it is, this was really fun to write! 🥰🥰❤❤

...

Drawing was my greatest love when I was a teenager.

While other girls may have been into make-up, or drama, or gossip, or boys... I'd stay in and draw, paint, sketch. Name it, I've tried it at least once. I was an unusual girl growing up. Girls at that age were interested mostly in the hobbies listed above, while I loved the exact opposite: drawing, reading, listening to music, learning languages, playing with dogs, studying like there was no tomorrow.

At university, I chose Graphic Design. And I loved it. Learning about my favorite thing in the whole wide world, filling in the gaps of my abilities, picking up new skills... that felt like heaven. I got out of college with my head high, amazing grades and an even better graduation. Although I wasn't prepared for the world outside. Soon enough, I started struggling to pay rent, especially in a city like Madrid. And I had no choice but to give it up.

Then, I met the Professor. A man just as unusual as me, who just so happened to have saved my life right there and then. The first heist was a success. I worked well with the gang, and given my love for working behind the scenes, I was the negotiator. Raquel was a very interesting individual, but I didn't get to speak to her much, as the Professor was the leading voice of the heist. It didn't bother me at all when they got together, to be honest I was rooting for them. When it all ended, I took my share of the money and went to live in Japan. It was beautiful: the perfect balance of modernity and tradition, the amazing food, the beautiful views, the friendly people, the new language. Every little detail fascinated me.

A year later, I came to know that Rio got kidnapped. And there I was again, back into the heist business. Once again cast as negotiator, this time I had to take the upper hand, because the Professor and Lisboa had their own part of the plan to take care of.

...

Current day - during the heist

I rested my feet onto the table of my hideout as I watched the TV intently. The news channel finally gave me important information: Rio was in Spain, finally. The poor boy took a tumble down the plane, falling on the ground in handcuffs and dirty clothes. Poor thing, I thought. Behind him, a figure emerged, a red-haired pregnant woman in a white coat and black cap. Inspectora Alicia Sierra. I found myself unable to tear my eyes from her face, as if I was in a trance: she was a very attractive woman, there's no denying that.

I wanted to remember that face while talking to her, so I was quick to reach for a pencil and paper and start reproducing her face. I glanced at the TV once in a while to get an idea of what she was like, memorising her traits as I transferred them on the paper sheet.

...

I pulled on my headphones and lined up the microphone to the side of my face, trying to calm my nerves before talking to the woman I was pining for a few hours ago. I picked up the drawing I made earlier and used it as a reference to draw her from other angles.

"Professor." A female voice spoke. Calm, collected, confident.

"Inspectora Sierra, how lovely to hear you." I replied, mirroring her tone.

"Ah, señorita Akita. I wasn't expecting you." Alicia said. "Well? Aren't you going to ask me what I'm wearing? I'd say it runs in your gang to play games like this."

"I'm assuming maternity clothes. Tell me, is it a boy or a girl?" I tantalised, running the pencil on the paper to make a rough sketch of her face.

She chuckled. "My, my, nosy girl. I didn't remember the Professor being this curious, but between you and me, sweetheart, I like you better." She clicked her tongue, presumably paired with a wink.

"Touché, preciosa," I shook my head, laughing at her attempt at flirting. "That's enough niceties for now, you can flirt with me later. Let's cut to the chase."

There was a long pause after she laughed in shock at my bluntness. I smirked, almost too proudly for my first conversation with a pregnant woman I've seen once on the TV. During the pause, I kept my eyes trained on the rough piece of paper while my wrist made a flicking motion to draw her strands of hair.

"I'm assuming your dear sister is having the time of her life. I don't think you've escaped to Germany. We could find her in a heartbeat, you know. I could barely picture it, a 17 year old girl thrust in the midst of rapists, drug users, murderers in the jails of, say, Northeast Asia? Ah, the poor thing. So young and so naive, the spat image of you, she wouldn't last a beat." She chuckled humourlessly.

"And what's your point, Inspectora? Your empathy for my little sister doesn't add up to when you tortured Rio, does it?" I didn't even bother to look up from my work as her threat was no longer valid. My little sister died of cancer last month, and the news hadn't reached Spain. That offered us a very good advantage.

She ignored my comment. "Akita, listen to me very carefully. Turn the Professor and Raquel in, and your sister remains untouched. Think about it, sweetheart. And think quickly, I am a busy woman, as you know."

"I most certainly do, señora Sierra." I said innocently, in a stupid but successful attempt to tease her.

"It's señorita now, actually." Alicia corrected.

"Good to know," I mirrored her flirty attitude from before. "On second thought, you were right, how foolish of me. What are you wearing?"

"You're impossible, Akita," she replied, laughing. "Don't get any ideas, sweetheart. I'm way out of your league."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

I gasped in mock offense, making her laugh genuinely. "Well, am I mistaken or am I actually growing on you? I bet you wouldn't be upset about being out of my league if that was the case."

"Shut up, sweetheart." She said mischievously.

"Make me." I teased her.

Her playful scoff was interrupted silently as she suddenly hung up.

I was confused for a moment as my hand moved the pencil confidently on the paper. As I stroked the graphite onto the rough surface, my mind wandered. Alicia was flirting shamelessly with me, in front of all her colleagues, and in a recorded phone call, no less. So either she was really brave or really stupid. Maybe a mixture of both.

This woman was really mesmerising: she was incredibly intelligent, as I could tell, she was confident, sarcastic, dominant and gorgeous. She was brave for raising a child on her own, as she specified that she wasn't married.

If the circumstances were different, I'd even go after her. I wished I had met her differently, because this woman was far beyond average and just about the quickest crush I've ever gotten. She was certainly not someone you'd want to lose. I wanted to talk to her again, leaving out our positions in this makeshift war. It seemed like we were getting along perfectly, flirting with each other as if the call wasn't recorded.

I took my hand away from the drawing and looked at my finished product. I was extremely proud of it: it looked just like her, the lines were confident and creative and the shading in a cross-hatching technique was on point. I bet she'd like it, I thought. My eyes lifted from the paper as I got an idea. Maybe she would.

Aikido, my Akita Inu, looked at me quizzically and tilted his head, almost as if questioning my decision. "Who knows? Maybe this will be what wins her heart." He yawned in response. "Oh, shut up, Aikido."

...

It had been a few days since I sent the drawings to Sierra, and apparently it went over well. The next time we negotiated she asked everyone to leave the tent and didn't confront me about the drawing, but rather she got friendlier: she started to open up, telling me things about her, showing her soft side, laughing, being careless, even saying that we'd meet one day. Of course, she loved the sketch, but we were still enemies, enemies who were intensely pining for each other and instead of doing something about their attraction they played games from a phone call and flirted shamelessly. Because acting on things was the most difficult thing you could ever do in your life. It requires courage, determination, confidence, and given the circumstances, you needed double these qualities.

And I was getting brave these days. And also a little crazy.

So I started sending her a sketch every other day to tease her. One day it was a sketch of her, the next of Aikido, the next of the police tent, the next of her holding the teddy bear.

It continued like this until she sold out the Government and started working alone. First she stopped by Sergio, which ended up in the ultimate team-up as they were on their own and Raquel was finally out of custody and in the bank. Then she left the Professor alone for a while.

...

I heard a knock on my door and Aikido got up on his feet, startled. I carefully stepped closer and tried to take a peek. My eyes caught a flash of red that I'd recognise anywhere, I immediately knew that was Alicia. I quickly opened the door and she looked at me, almost fazed. After a few seconds, she smiled at me, and said, "I promised you we'd meet, one way or another." I chuckled, moved, and let her in immediately. The second hideout of the heist was none other than my own home, a detached house in the middle of nowhere that the Professor was able to get me. It suited me perfectly, there was room for me and Aikido, hell, it even had an atelier.

"Welcome to my home, Inspectora," I said as she took in her surroundings.

"You don’t have to call me that anymore. Just 'Alicia' will do, sweetheart," she replied, a smirk playing on her lips. I gazed at her sweetly, meanwhile surprised at how my attraction to her had grown from a small infatuation to a full-on crush, and realised she didn't have a baby bump anymore.

"You-you gave birth?"

"Yeah, I did. In the stormwater tank."

"That must have been... uncomfortable."

"Sweetie, I had to blow a Saint Bernard out my ass. It would have been uncomfortable even on a hospital bed."

I couldn’t help but laugh at her joke, and soon enough she joined in. "So, is it a baby boy or a baby girl?"

"Girl. I named her Victoria." She said.

"That's a lovely name." I smiled at her.

"Speaking of names," Alicia leaned back on the table and gazed at me, her tantalising green eyes twinkling with mischief. "What's your name?"

That question took me off guard, as I almost tripped over my own feet while holding a glass of water.

She chuckled at my antics. "Somebody got flustered."

I cleared my throat. "Keep telling yourself that, Alicia." I loved how her name rolled off my tongue so easily.

"So you're not answering?"

"Not for the time being, no," I clicked my tongue and winked at her, mocking her for the first time we met. "I like being called Akita."

"Like the dog?" She asked.

"Actually, like the city. But yeah, also like the dog."

As if on cue, Aikido trotted inside.

"Oh, yeah, this is Aikido." I said briefly as Alicia offered her hand for the dog to smell.

"How adorable, you even have an Akita Inu." She noticed, chuckling when Aikido rubbed himself on her legs for pets.

"Wow, he never does that with anyone," I said in surprise. "Maybe he has a good feeling about you."

"Well, I have the blessing of your dog now, so we can't go wrong, can we?" She joked, scratching his weak spot. Soon enough, she even got his leg going.

"He really must love you," I laughed. "Usually he's very cat-like, I'm surprised he's actually asking to be petted."

"Well, I tend to grow on people." She said charismatically.

"Yeah, you do." I mumbled. "Hey, why don't you get comfortable? I'll make dinner and we could watch something."

"Dinner sounds great, thanks," she sighed in relief and I led her to the couch.

"What do you feel like having?" I asked her.

"Whatever you want, sweetie. Your house, your rules." She replied.

"Okay." I hunted through my fridge, hoping to find something good. I found a few eggs, and enough stuff to make salad. "You must be tired after giving birth and running away from the police. I'll make you something to restore your energies."

"Yeah, it was quite the drama. I've barely had time to breathe," she rested her head on the back of the couch at an angle where she could look at me. "You know, you draw really well."

"Oh, thanks." I accepted the compliment.

"Where did you go to art school?" She asked.

"Madrid Academy of Art," I replied. "How did you know I went to art school?" I immediately felt stupid after asking that question.

"Well, a ton of things gave you away. First of all, your proportions in the sketch of me you sent me. Obviously, your choice of media and type of paper that go well together, and the fact that you used binder to keep the sketch's lightfastness in a quantity that was balanced as to avoid damaging it. Then the smaller things, like your posture, the way you sit, the way you hold things, your hands, your eye for observation, and of course, the unmistakable smell of paint coming from over there..." she pointed at a room on the other side of the house. "...which I assume is your atelier."

"Wow, you're good," I laughed in shock. "And yeah, that is my atelier."

Alicia hummed in satisfaction. I turned around to check on her and she was looking at me in a different way now: her pupils were dilated and she was making puppy eyes at me, batting her eyelashes while pouting. Her eyes asked the question.

"You want to see the atelier?" I asked her, surprised.

"Yeah, I'd love to," she replied.

"You have beautiful eyes," I blurted out, and immediately cringed internally. Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

I heard her get up from the couch and silently step elsewhere. Since I couldn't hear her anymore, I turned around to check on her and found her in front of me in a heartbeat, hovering over me while my back hit the counter. I swallowed thickly and tried to hide my blush, but she noticed right away. Alicia grazed my face with her fingertips, starting at my cheekbone and trailing down my jawline. Her fingers brushed my neck for a split second, sending a shiver down my spine. Then her thumb slowly traced over my bottom lip, her eyes flickering to my eyes and back to my mouth. Her intelligent eyes asked for permission to kiss me, and I gave in without thinking twice.

In a second, Alicia brushed her lips against mine tentatively, with hesitation. She checked on me to see if I was okay, and that was all she needed. Without a second thought, she crashed her lips on mine more eagerly, her hand resting on the back of my head. I cupped her cheek and kissed her back with the same amount of desire.

She pulled away and leaned her forehead on mine, sighing in content. I licked my lips and gazed back at her, clearing my throat out of embarrassment. "That was, um... that was good."

"Good." She said.

The next few minutes were quiet. I cooked while she kept her eyes trained on my every motion, as if to make sure I didn't get hurt. When dinner was ready, I prepared our plates and took her to the couch. She sat down next to me, thanking me for the food. I put my feet up on the table and she followed suit. I turned on the TV, and she looked for a movie to watch together.

"This one?"

"This one."

The evening was quiet. We ate our food, which she really appreciated, by the look on her face, and Aikido stole a couple of pieces as well. About halfway through the movie, Alicia leaned her head on my shoulder, snuggling her body into mine. I froze in place, taken off guard by the action, but honestly I kind of like it.

"Is this okay?" She asked me, noticing the look on my face.

"Of course," I smiled at her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to me. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head and felt her melt into the embrace.

"Your hug is so amazing," she sighed. "It makes me feel safe."

My heart leaped out of my chest at that. "You are safe, honey," I kissed her temple lovingly. "I promise."

[emmanuellececchi]

First few paragraphs of my modern romance.

A few days ago, one of you, very kindly, asked if I wanted to post an excerpt from my novel. I said yes but wasn't sure what.

I will post here the first few paragraphs of the first chapter. Remember it's still a work in progress so many things will change. The tone and the vocabulary might change as well. As English is not my first language, I will ask someone fluent to correct me and my formulation.

The novel is set in our world. This is the summary I have in mind for the moment: Two gamers who played together lose sight of each other after a terrible accident. When they meet again, nothing is going as expected. After all, they never met before.

"Let's play together" (temporary title) - text after the cut.

Danica was fighting with her keys. Again. She hated this door and the way it was opening. Each time she was back with her grocery, it was a fight as, most of the time, she was alone. Finally, she successfully opened and pushed gingerly the door, putting one of her grocery bags to stop it from closing again. With a sigh, she put her keys in her pocket, not losing them again, and began pushing with her feet the bags while taking the others in her hands. It wasn’t easy but after a few moments, she finally got all her grocery in the building hall. She sighed again. Now she had to take the stairs. Because the elevator was, once again, out of order. This was when she noticed the tall, blond man looking at her. She was surprised and wondered in irritation if he had been there all this time, and not helping her. He was really thin, and, in a bout of pettiness, she thought it might be why he hadn’t help her. Not the arms to help her with the bags. She sighed, once again. She didn’t even know this guy. He was still looking at her and she realized he hadn’t gone down the staircase… Was he waiting for her to move away? Or just watching her struggle? “Hi! I’m Danica Wilkinson. I’m the tenant of the 6 B.” She smiled because what else could she do but the man said nothing. He looked up, where her apartment was and then down again. With exasperation she took all the bags she could and began the ascension. “You might want to go down if you don’t me bumping into you.” She said it with another smile but her tone was less and less patient. He was making her uncomfortable. The man seemed to realized he was standing awkwardly in the stairs for he made a strange face and, finally, moved. He went down the stairs and looked at the bags left on the ground. “Don’t worry, I’ll come and take them once I have put those up… Unless you want to give me a hand?” She smiled innocently. The man seemed uncertain. Then, pushing slowly the bags with his foot, he got out of the building and closed the door behind him without another look. Danica didn’t know if she should be insulted or worried. What kind of asshole was this guy? Finally, she shrugged. She had enough things to think about and things to do… And maybe he was just not speaking the same language… she didn’t know and she didn’t care. The chance was, she wasn’t going to see him again. With yet another sigh, she went on climbing the stairs with her bags, hoping no one would leave with the rest of her food.

[mayday396]

Prologue Chapter

In the Mountains of Svyatogor, Winter is a constant Weather, the People had the Sun for Light in the Day, it's only when the Winds howl and bring forth the Storm then Dusk comes.Deep in the Valleys of the Mountains is where a little town, or rather to the Natives of the Mountains, a food resource that could a bunch of Dangerous Pest if not taken care of.

So far the Natives, or called Giants by the 'Pests', have not found this settlement and only those who are Pests know of such a place, these Pests are called Humans and as long as they can remember, Wars and Conflicts were fought on both Sides since the Beginning of Time.The settlement was called 'Antiochus', a Fortification and Little Village of sorts to Train Humans to be Giant Hunters, to defend this Stronghold even to a bitter end.

Lanterns scattered across the Village made of Scrap Metal, that have been left behind after making Swords, Arrows and many other Weapons, and Oil, that had a Scent like Roses and Olives.In the Great House where the Chief lives, a Boy newly arrived from Gishban woke up, he was still shaking, quivering at both the bitter Coldness of the Weather and what he had witnessed before coming here, the boy was no less younger than 5 years old, he had already seen so much...pain.

As he struggled and shivered to stay warm in his Blanket while on the Cold Stone floor, it was so cold he could see his own Breath, a woman in her Wintery Nightgown came, holding a lantern around and saw him, "Boy! What are you doing out of Bed?"She asked him, the Woman had a stern tone but she was certainly shocked at the Boy trying to both sleep on the Cold floor and keep himself Warm, 'Where did the Chief even find this boy? From Gishban of all places?!' She thought to herself, as she heard the boy try to speak their Language, "L...Light?"

The boy pointed to the Fireplace, "Ohhh ah....I see"She roughly understood what the boy was trying to imply, and set down her Lantern near the Fireplace as she gestured to the boy to come and learn to light a Fire, "See? Just Rub your hands with this stick to this wood and then you see Smoke" The Boy nodded and soon after many tries got it right and was able to make the Fireplace light up, the boy giggled and smiled at the Fire he has created and the Woman sighed and told him, "Okay now go sleep alright?" As she was about to leave, the Boy tugged on the ends of her Nightgown, "Mm!"

She looked behind her and asked the Boy, "What is it?"The Boy simply pointed to his head and solemnly said, "Bad.... dream" The Woman knelt down and pet the head of the boy and asked him, "What was it about?" The Boy shivered at the very thought of it and said, "The....the Monsters....they...."She sighed, and gave the boy a hug, "We all have Nightmares too because of them, don't be too sad, you're not alone okay?"The Boy barely understood what he just heard but it did comfort him enough to fall asleep.

"Now you should go to sleep"The Woman placed him back to the Couch he was sleeping on for now, "Good Night, Young Master"She said to him and got her lantern and smiled at him sleeping peacefully once again, but once she was out of sight, the Boy mumbled in his sleep, his face frowned in fear and confusion, "Mama...Baba...wake up...."The Boy shivered as the muffled desperation of his voice only grew as his face went into the Pillow, gripped the Blanket and streams of Tears flow from his eyes.

'What kind of pain did this Boy witness?' The Woman who was watching all this time wondered before shaking her head and headed up the Staircase and into her Bed.

Somewhere in other areas of Svyatogor, out of the Towering Walls, out of its Gates, a Giant Knight of massive Height chased after another Giant far bigger than him and shouted, "Master! I beg of you please don't go!"The Knight Knelt, one leg off the ground and the other on it as his Greatsword plunged into the ground, as he looked up at his Old Master

The Old Master was hooded in an old worn out cloak, two massive Battle Axes crossed on his back, Armor made of Steel over his simple Dark Blue Linen Shirt, styled with Gold designs and reached to his knees while he wore Black Cotton Pants with chainmail and plated Armor cover vital parts of his body, he wore Gauntlets of Metal and it even covered his Legs and Various Vital points of his limbs.

The Old Man stood over Trees, his knees brushing against them, as the Giant Knight that greeted him was really only up to his knees too, the aura of superiority and Intimidation filled the Atmosphere as the Snowstorm around them rages on, the Knight couldn't exactly look up at him, to be honest he feels just as terrified as nature around him quiver at the sight of him, "Master...we've nearly won this fight! Why are you leaving now?"The Old Master simply sigh, you can hear his tiredness and the deepness of what he was saying despite not saying anything in the First place.

The Old man bent down, to look at his Disciple, and pointed to his heart and made a crossed out sign, the Knight frowned and ensheathed his Sword, "Master! It can't be....but you fight so well...your heart is in the right place! Please give us more time we will eradicate those Pests away from the Homelands, and can't you imagine the taste of each bite of their Flesh? They deserve this look what they did to you!"The Old Man sighed some more and told him in a form of Sign Language.

Pointing to his eyes then down to his throat and to his ears, before standing up and lightly knocking his forehead, "Ow! What was that for?!"The Old Master was about to leave and just before he started walking away, he pointed to his head and disappeared into the Blizzard and leaving the Knight bewildered.When he came to his senses and looked to hands, "What an I even supposed to think about?"He sighed and walked away, "I hope to meet you again Master, wherever you are"The Giant Knight got back on his Horse and rode back to the Walled city known as Belobog.On this very same Day, the fates of Two people, will change the very land and grounds they stand on.

This is a Tale of the Seasons, a tale of finding each other in the Darkest of worlds and a Tale of Renuion.

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The Prologue of the G/t Story has been released! Chapter 1 will probably come soon since I'm in a Writing mood! So enjoy this Story and give me your thoughts on this, how to improve, what you like about it, etc.

Genre is Low Fantasy with a little bit of Dark Fantasy mixed into it and inspired by Historical settings in different parts of the World.

So G/t and Original story readers, I hope you like this and I will see you in Chapter 1!

@greatgigintheskiess @starskichild

It's here my wittle babies

UPDATE:

Chapter 1 is out y'all may read it!

[hanayori89]

The Other Side of the

Mirror

*Ordon Village*

"Is that all, Link?" You tried to keep your voice neutral in spite of the exhaustion you felt. If this is what he did prior to becoming a hero, he shouldn't have had to endure much training. You waddled over to where the other bales of hay stood. You threw yours on top, completing the perfect triangular stack Fado asked you to make. 

Link folded his arms in response to the pride you were displaying. You turned to catch him watching you as a grin unfolded on his face. 

"What?" You barked at him. 

"Oh, nothing. It's just for someone who told me Twili don't have emotions; you sure are demonstrating a lot of hubris right now. You could admit you're tired. This is tiring work for someone who isn't a ranch hand." 

"Yeah, this isn't work for a delicate lady such as yourself." Fado seized the opportunity to swoop in as the savior. He laid a gentle hand on your back. You could feel the sweat from his palms saturate your clothing. "Link, why are you making her do the bales of hay? You can handle them yourself. I would have had her do something less strenuous. She could gather the eggs from the cucco coops." Fado turned to you with a flirtatious glint in his eyes. "He's just grumpy these days because he's about to lose his freedom." 

You found the expression odd. Any time someone said something you didn't quite understand, you simply repeated it. Often times, they would reiterate, helping you understand what they meant. "Lose his freedom?" Fado gave a loud chortle, "Link? You didn't tell her you were engaged?" Then he lowered his voice, attempting to keep Link out of earshot. "He's engaged to the mayor's daughter. I am single. In case you're wondering." 

"She isn't." Link walked up, clearly irritated. You couldn't help but notice the change in his demeanor whenever there was mention of his engagement. How you wish you could connect with Midna. There were so many things about the Realm of Light you wanted to ask. Link had an edge to him sometimes. One that intimidated you. Although, he did have a lot on his plate. You were kind of an inconvenience in his life. Perhaps it would be best to at least try to seek lodging elsewhere. He didn't deserve to have his life put on hold by your selfish mission. Once I meet Zelda, we will part ways. You inferred that this was the right thing to do. Yet the thought of leaving Link was heavy on your chest. 

"Y/N?" You cast your widened eyes toward Link. He gave you a suspicious look. As if he knew you were mentally planning something. Link brought his face slightly closer to yours. He was close enough that you could see the pores on his face. There was a sheen of oil cast on the apples of his cheeks that made his face shine. You wanted to touch his skin. To feel it beneath your eager fingers. You wanted to feel his human qualities, which made him the living hero you were taught to deify. "Whatever it is, don't think about it." 

"What?" 

"Your face always gives you away. We need to teach you how to have a poker face." Link's lips curved into a tired smile. You felt your chest constrict. You instantly reached your hand up to your heart. As though you could grab hold of it through your chest wall and make it stop its arrythmia. 

"What's a poker face?" You gave him an inquisitive glance. You doubted that you made many other faces besides that. 

"It's keeping a neutral facial expression. So that you don't give away your feelings. As a Twili without feelings, there is no reason to use a facial expression to hide them." He sounded dejected.

"With all due respect," you were excited to try out one of the phrases of empowerment you always wanted to use. "You don't have a very good poker face when people mention your engagement." Your hands were cupped over your mouth as soon as the words left it. Link's eyes went wide. 

"Y-you," he struggled to string together a sentence. "You don't speak my language, and yet..." His face grew soft with respect. He picked his finger up, tapping where your heart was. "Yet you understand me in here." 

"I don't think we are very different." You tapped his heart back, "in here." It was true. Link had the ability to feel emotions, but something told you that he didn't give himself permission to feel. The very thing you wanted to do, he could do, yet didn't want to. How ironic. 

His eyes seem to swell with adoration. You've never seen someone look at you in such a way. How you wished you could take a photo of it to bring back to the Realm of Twilight. Midna would probably hang it up in the "Hall of the Hero." A bizarre sense of selfishness arose within you. You wanted this moment to just belong to you. Link opened his mouth but was overpowered by an exuberant female voice.

"Link! There you are!" You saw an attractive female jog towards you. 

She had big eyes that displayed the innocence of a deer. Her lashes seemed to flutter at an abnormal rate as she continuously blinked, amplifying the deer look. Her short hair had the same feathered texture as Link's. It was even remotely the same color as Link's. Maybe that's what couples in the light do? Match each other? She wore a simple ivory tunic and brown linen pants that cut off mid-shin. You hated to admit it, but she and Link did look like they belonged together. 

That was until they hugged.

You watched as Ilia wrapped her arms around Link, pulling him close. Link seemed to go limp within her grasp. He loosely hung in her embrace as though he were a rag doll. She began to smother him with kisses on his cheek. Like she hadn't seen him in years and didn't just unfairly scream at him a mere few hours ago. Maybe that's why Link seemed so despondent at her touch. 

For some reason, you decided to avert your eyes toward something else. The whole spectacle left you feeling uncomfortable. You couldn't figure it out. You wouldn't see Link again after today. What was wrong with his fiancée showing him affection? You couldn't place what it was; you just felt irritated. 

You hoped you could stay in Castle Town. You remembered the ice cream vendor who gave you his address. Maybe he would take you on a date to the "Lake Hylia" place he mentioned. 

Anything to escape the sensation running through you. You were starting to think emotions weren't all that they were rumored to be.

*Hyrule Castle*

Neither one of you had said much since departing the ranch. Link felt ashamed over the interaction that took place with Ilia. Both of you silently wandered through the animated crowds of Castle Town. He thought of the way you looked at the mud while you were in Ilia's arms. As if the mud was more pleasing to look at. Why was he so uptight over what Y/N thought? He hadn't done anything wrong. Yet the way he severed himself from Ilia's arms, said otherwise. Twili couldn't feel. Link didn't like how hopeful he felt that maybe, just maybe, you were jealous of his engagement. Though jealousy was not the feeling he wanted to introduce you to.

He knew Zelda would pick up on any unwarranted tension lingering in the air. Link knew he needed to break the silence. He gave his hair an uneasy ruffle, "Y/N?" Link stopped in front of you, anxious to see if you would look at him. You didn't. 

"Before we meet Zelda, I wanted to know if you had any questions-" Before Link could finish his question, he was cut off by a flat "no." 

"I see. A-are you mad at me?" Link stammered. He could stand the silence no longer. He had to know why you were treating him so coldly. 

You responded in a monotone voice, "No. Why would I be mad? I wouldn't even know what that feels like." Link noticed that instead of looking at him, you were looking past him. Link twirled around to see if there was something behind him. There wasn't.  With his back turned, you took the opportunity to glide past him. You quietly made your way up the Castle stairs. 

Link watched the back of your figure continue on without him. Link knew anything more he had to say would only be viewed as disparaging. Maybe Zelda can fix this. Link wished he could open up to you. He didn't want this engagement any more than you assumed he did. 

*

Zelda paced back and forth, perturbed. The clicking of her heels against the marble floor tiles was not nearly as loud as her racing thoughts. She had a meeting with the chancellor at noon and had nothing of value to contribute. She stared at the stacks of paperwork that were piled around her. 

"I have read these damned documents numerous times. There is not one explanation in them that persuades me to consider Gerudo Mesa's interest in annexing part of Eldin Province." She picked up a stack, furiously flipping through it. 

"Not one!" She shouted in annoyance, tossing the papers to the floor.

"Princess?" A guard stood nervously at her door. "Forgive me, princess. Are you willing to accept visitors?" 

"Well, now is not really-" Zelda was cut off by Link's appearance in the doorway.

"Oh, Link, what brings you here? Fabian, you may be dismissed." The guard gave a gracious salute, doltishly hopping back to his assigned post. 

"Zelda, what is all this? Can I help in anyway?" Link greeted Zelda, revering her with a polite half- bow. Their relationship was past the point of veneration. Next, Zelda would insist that he was the hero, and it was silly for him to always present such decorum. In Link's mind, he was still a poor rancher. He was a green rupee in the presence of a silver rupee. How could he not hold the princess of Hyrule in the highest esteem in which she should be regarded?

"Link, must we always have this discussion about bowing?" Zelda's eyes meandered past Link to the refined presence in her doorway. "You have brought a guest with you?" Zelda's eyes lasered in on Y/N's presence. "A Twili, no less."

"H-How?" Link stood with his mouth swinging ajar. 

"You mean to tell me you don't know she is of the Twilight? I'd expect more from you after everything that occurred, Link." 

"I-I do know. I have seen her markings. How did you know without seeing them?"

Zelda adjusted something behind her thick curtain of dirty blonde hair. With a snap, she unclasped a necklace and dangled it in the air. Y/N's eyes lit up, her pupils following the clockwise circles of the small pendant that hung in Zelda's hand. It was a shard of the Mirror of Twilight. 

"OH! A- shard of the Mirror of Twilight!" Y/N exclaimed. You prudently stepped forward in Zelda's presence. Unlike Link and his familiarity with the princess, you only knew of her through stories. Listening to the stories of Princess Zelda was as mythical as listening to stories about the ancient sages. Seeing her with your own eyes was the conclusive blessing you needed for your pilgrimage. You were not bereft of the praise you wished to grant the princess, Midna's other half. 

You kept your forehead resting on your bent knee as you spoke. "Princess, you are correct. I am from the Realm of Twilight. My master Midna speaks so highly of you. Because of your existential dedication to your people, you have changed Midna. I have spent my existence on the side of the mirror where only Midna has reigned. She credits you for everything she has done for our inhabitants. As well as you, Hero of Twilight. She credits herself for nothing." You lifted your head to slowly meet Link's face. Link was grateful for some type of acknowledgment, no matter how ephemeral it was. 

You continued, "And so I wanted to understand the reign on this side of the mirror. This realm. I-I... have come to this realm under selfish pretenses. I wish to convert into a Hylian. I wish to serve the light the way my ancestors intended. I also wish to beg your forgiveness for their actions so many centuries ago."

Zelda abstained from showing any emotion. This wasn't hard for her to do since she was constantly in the eye of the public. It came with the territory of royalty. She gave a slight tilt of her head to demonstrate her intrigue.

"It is possible to regain your standing within the light." Zelda began her familiar pacing pattern from earlier. "I must wonder, if you become part of the light... will you wish to remain in it? For I know beings in the light, that would much rather exist in the Realm of Twilight. Beings who would rather provide their civic duty without the daily annoyances of emotional defaults. " Zelda blatantly eyed Link when she said this. An intuitive dialogue passed between them.

"Don't convince me you didn't wish to join Midna in the twilight, Link. The shadows are where you are most comfortable." Zelda walked with calculated steps around Link, studying him. 

"You're not wrong, Zelda. This girl is a lot like me. We want to exist in the same place. We don't know where that place is. That is why I agreed to help her." Link watched Zelda with a stringent face. 

"And help her, you shall." Zelda continued her intimidating laps around Link.

"Yes, if you seek to become part of the light, there are certain trials. You must go to the Arbiter's Grounds next. You will find that the voices of the past have wise words for you about the visions of the future. Report back to me after your visit. I will consult with Midna."

"You can speak with Midna?" Your head shot up at the mention of Midna. 

Zelda balled her hand into a fist and wrapped her other hand around her wrist. She pressed the Mirror of Twilight shard against her chest. For a moment, she seemed to smile. You realized she was reminiscing. "I see you are still learning the power of the shard. I'm speaking to Midna right now."

"What!" You gasped in disbelief.

"Midna said, much like your homework assignment, you'll find you can hear the voice of truth. Her voice. She supports your decision to attempt the trials of conversion. However, she has one request..."

This next part made Zelda devilishly smile. For a moment, she looked no different than Midna. Link wondered if Zelda was channeling Midna through the Mirror of Twilight shard. 

"Anything." Your voice squeaked with elation. You couldn't believe Midna and Zelda approved of your conversion into a Hylian.  You stood, ready to skip out of the royal palace. You felt as though you could tackle any trial that was thrown your way.

 Invincible. 

Until Zelda interrupted with, "You must allow the Hero of Twilight to aid you on your journey."

With that single sentence, your indomitable spirit was shattered. 

A/N: Edited 11/13/22

***If you read through this and notice any confliction with voicing, please tell me. As it is hard to keep track of different voices and I have been catching errors. :) ***

Your conversion into the Realm of Light has been ordained by Princess Zelda and Midna. But a certain someone has been tasked to aid you on your quest. With a possessive Ilia in tow, how will it be possible for Link to help you on your journey? And what is it you feel about his upcoming wedding? 

Check out my other completed OOT Zelda work- No Woman Beyond

[kiragecko]

So if that's your yj swearing heacanons. What do you head for the titans? Who swears there?

Okay.

Wally has sworn 3 times. 2 were while hanging out with Dick, trying to be brave. 1 was while hanging out with Frances, feeling both uncomfortable and daring. All felt wrong, and he gave up.

Garth does not swear. Not even Atlantian vulgarities. He is a PRINCE. (And also a socially awkward nerd.)

Dick has periods where he uses foul language, periods where he doesn't, and periods where it's an occasional thing - both as Dick and as Nightwing. He reinvents himself a lot.

Donna usually uses Amazonian exclamations, but will let out the occasional, surprisingly vulgar, oath.

Roy went through a period where his language was SO FILTHY. He felt he had to prove what an awful person he was. It wasn't a good head-space, and it's much rarer now. Lian has picked up some language that ... she doesn't really have context for, though.

Vic ... look, I'm really uncomfortable with the race and class connotations around Vic's dialogue in the 80s (the period I know him best from). I don't want to exclude him from the fun, but when I try to imagine his voice, my brain replaces it with narration, instead. (Unless it's the Teen Titans (Go) version.) There's something here about code switching to fit in with his football team vs. the very academic language he was hearing at home, but as a deeply uncool white Canadian who never really tried to fit in, I don't know what it is.

Obviously, Teen Titans (Go) Cyborg never swears.

Kory swears a lot. Using every language she knows. It can be very cathartic to listen to her. Or disturbing, depending on what she's saying.

Raven doesn't know how. Sometimes she wishes she did. But she struggles to build up enough pressure to vent into a curse, and she doesn't speak casually enough to just drop them into a sentence.

(Comics) Gar swears, but self-consciously and often at awkward times. He tends towards sexually ... OKAY. No. We are not doing this. I do not like comics Gar, and this was going nowhere good. Lets start again.

No cartoon version of Gar swears. They are little boys, even as teenagers. Teen Titans (Go) Beast Boy has practiced in his bedroom a few times and thinks swearing is SO COOL. It has never occurred to Young Justice (TV) Gar to use foul language.

Joey swears for dramatic effect. He's got a sweet persona, and it amuses him a LOT to shock people with an unexpected explicit sign. He swore a lot in junior high, trying to emulate his cool older brother, and still swears more casually than a lot of the other Titans.

-

I also believe that the team has several explicit in-jokes that they say to each other casually. These don't count as foul language anymore. Even Wally can say them without a second thought. Most of the Titans have said one of these jokes in front of one of Dick's siblings while they were visiting the Tower, realized what they had just done, and prepared for death. On the occasions that DICK also realized what they had done, the death was swift.

(Dick has done it too. Tim was old enough by then to look at him with a confused and innocent expression and ask him what he meant, just to watch Dick cringe. And then turn to Roy, and ask him so very very nicely if HE could explain, since he'd done such a good job last time. Last time the confusion had been real, and so was Dick's retribution. This time? Chaos.)

[pridewon]

@soverina​​​ said:  peach has never been the sort of girlfriend who needed validation; she knew wakatoshi loved her. sometimes, there were just days where she wanted to hear it anyways; days where it felt like she may no longer be interesting enough. pretty. similar. right for him. they lived in two different worlds, going through different struggles. peach always tries her best to understand and relate to most of the challenges wakatoshi endures when it comes to volleyball or being an athlete, but she was never under any illusions that she was always the right person to go. perhaps that’s when this all started; it got progressively worse from there… she doesn’t particularly enjoy any physical activity that went beyond walking and will typically try and avoid getting up early on days off. sometimes, she just prefers being a homebody. and he — he has always accommodated for what she lacked in. he’s never complained, but she wonders how he felt about it. what if one day he woke up and decided that he needed to be with someone who could love the things that he loves, but as much — if not more? Peach loved that he was passionate about volleyball, but didn’t love the sport outside of him. she felt herself drowning from these incessant thoughts, especially after turning down his invitation of joining him for a jog ( her poor bike was kept by the entrance of their apartment, neglected for months ). by the time he had returned and continued with a round of push-ups, peach could no longer restrain herself from asking. “ why do you want to be with me, wakatoshi? ” she lay on the floor next to him, as to not disturb his workout. instead, she looks up at him; the hand that rest atop her stomach curls tightly. she could feel the tears stinging her eyes. “ I don’t think I deserve you… and I often worry you’ll one day realize that you want something different from what I can give you… ” she doesn’t know what exactly it was he wanted in a partner. “ I don’t want you to be bored of me or find someone else you have more in common with… but I’m being selfish, too. you deserve to be with someone who likes doing these things with you. who can understand your world better… like another athlete. I’ve been thinking a lot about it; I’m always turning down things you want to do, and you’ve never been upset with me for it… why do you tolerate me so much ? ” ah, crap… she promised herself she wasn’t going to shed any tears. “ I’m an awful girlfriend, right? you can be honest… i won’t be upset… ” she sniffles.

Wakatoshi has never been the kind of boyfriend who needs validation either. In the same breath? Wakatoshi may have a tendency to forget to give current partners the affirmations any partner has a right to expect from him. He was never a man of many words, and always a man of silence and actions, living by the principle that they speak louder than words. But, sometimes - sometimes, he needs the reminder to speak others’ language, too. 

Peach had declined his invitation to come for a jog with him, and Wakatoshi had made nothing of it - he knows she doesn’t particularly enjoy running, and he has a poor habit of running too fast (but offering still felt like the right thing to do). He had thought nothing of it, and held no resentment (why should he?), and had long moved on with his day when she broached the topic again and... made him pause his push-up routine halway throught. 

Why do you want to be with me, Wakatoshi?

... this feels like a trick question. Wakatoshi has never been good at trick questions, and so he blinks at her, perplexed that she should feel the need to ask. “Because I love you?” He offers as a tentative answer. Why else would anyone want to be with anyone? 

It’s a blindspot in the shape of a veil before his eyes that she tears down on his behalf. Perplexity knits his brow together, before clearing up to make way to surprise and bafflement (not that the difference is too marked on his features, but - she knows him well enough to tell the minute details of difference). Tears come to her eyes, and a needle of panic pricks at his own chest. He is not one for hindsight or mulling things over, but in this instant, he flips through the pages of every recent memory of their interactions over the past two days. What may he have said or done that would warrant such an onslaught of self-doubt?

He abandons his push-ups and sits cross-legged on the floor of the apartment, attentive olive eyes clouded with puzzled concern. “But you are upset.” He observes, unhelpfully. The Schweiden Adlers’ hitter mulls over some more. There is no reason for her to be upset. But convincing someone that there is no reason for them to be upset? Is a difficult exercise. Surely, it should be something he should be able to do at least with her... 

... perhaps she is not the only one who should harbour feeling of inadequacy.

“I’m sorry. I’m not sure I understand what you mean.” He resumes. “I don’t want anything different from what you’re giving me. I don’t need anything different.” Has he ever done anything that would lead her to believe otherwise? Peach knows him, and he knows her -- he knows she doesn’t particularly enjoy running, that volleyball is no passion of hers, that she prefers to be curled up on the couch with a hot drink and a film than out running a marathon or riding a bike. He knew all those things before they really crossed that fine line between friends and dating, and it had never occurred to him than any of this could be interpreted as a problem. 

???

Wakatoshi pauses to consider, and after a brief glance towards her, reaches out to take her hand in his (he always feels a little awkward, poor man with no comfort skills to speak of, but he tries). “I don’t know why you’re worrying about those things, but I know that I love you for you. You don’t need to be anything or anyone different.” Another pause. Helpfully (distantly, Tendou smothers a snort), he adds: “If I need another athlete to run with, I have a team.” Therefore, Peach doesn’t need to turn into a marathonian. 

[fandomficsnstuff]

Redemption For All - 7

(Warnings: none except some mentions of torture I think)

Notes: I do NOT speak spanish but I think it is a very beautiful language and sadly all I can say in spanish is ‘I can’t speak spanish’, so I used google translate, sorry. Some words are in Italic, which is the translated words, and others are just straight up spanish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leah was writing in a small journal that Arthur had gotten her when her name was called, her eyes widening at a man who appeared to have been in one hell of a bar fight, covered in bruises and cuts and she rushed over. “Doc, this is Josiah Trelawny. Josiah, this here’s Doctor Leah Riverra, she’s a real good doctor, best in all the country” Arthur introduced with the added compliment and flair and Leah helped him to a seat, smiling at him “I don’t know about the whole country but I’ve certainly seen my fair share of things. Hello Mr. Trelawny. What’s bothering you today?” she asked jokingly, looking over her shoulder at Arthur who already went to get the bag, the man, Josiah, chuckling lightly but it was cut off with a wince “the back is playing up a bit, I’m afraid” he stated jokingly in a very cordial way, Leah smirking as she examined his face “well, your sense of humor is certainly in good health. Can I ask what happened to you?”

“I’m afraid I ran into some rather-... unsavory fellers…”

“They beat you up?”

“It’s not as bad as it look-” he winced and flinched when Leah touched the right side of his jaw, Leah humming quietly, opening her bag to look through it. “Answer me honestly; on a scale of one to ten, ten being the most painful thing you’ve ever endured, the most horrible, excruciating thing you could ever possibly feel, where would you say your pain is at in? And remember, don’t downplay it, I can’t help you if you downplay it” she reminded him and he hesitated before sighing “a six… maybe a seven” he admitted and she nodded, looking at Arthur “get Swanson” she ordered quietly, before turning back to Josiah “do you have any other injuries? Could you perhaps describe what happened?”

“It’s really not for a lady to hea-”

“Mr. Trelawny, I’m a female Puerto Rican doctor who spent half of her life in Texas after my mom died when I was twelve and I have a black father. I think I can handle hearing about getting a beating” she stated with amusement as Swanson arrived, “administer a low dose, please. Just enough to take the edge of the pain but no more than that” she ordered, looking over her shoulder when she heard footsteps approaching. “He was tortured” Charles said and she hesitated, studying Charles before looking back at Josiah “Mr. Trelawny, would you mind if I examined you more thoroughly? We can use my tent for privacy” she stated and he hesitated, making her smile a little “trust me, there is nothing that I haven’t already seen. A guy once came into my ER with a snake dangling from a rat that dangled from him where it had bitten him. The rat died while biting him, and it couldn’t let go because of it, it’s jaws had locked in place. The snake wasn’t dead, by the way, and the rat it hung onto was hanging from a very… sensitive area for any man” she admitted, Josiah nodding and sighed “I suppose it’s… better to be on the safe side?” he asked nervously and Leah nodded with a smile “it most certainly is. Do you consent to the pain medication?” she asked, Josiah nodded and she smiled “I need verbal consent…”

“Yes, I consent, my dear” he stated with a charming smile and she nodded at Swanson, waiting until the morphine was administered before helping him as he struggled to stand up, accepting her help as she led him to her tent, Charles bringing her bag along, walking into the tent with her to place it on the grass. “Do you mind if Charles stays? Or would you rather that he left?”

“That depends on the examination” he joked awkwardly and Leah chuckled “I won’t do anything without your consent, and if something makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to tell me. Where else does it hurt?”

“My chest… my feet” he admitted and she nodded “what would you rather we take first?”

“Feet.”

“Alright. Would you prefer to take off your own shoes?” she asked and he nodded, bending down, wincing a little in pain but he got them off and his socks, Leah kneeling down to inspect them, frowning “there’s several burn marks and a few cuts… did they burn you?”

“I’m afraid so… not a pretty sight, is it?” he joked and she smiled up at him “I’ve sadly seen this before, on Sean… but hey, at least it’s not the snake guy” she joked before looking at Charles “in my bag there’s some disinfect- yup, that one” she stated with a smirk, taking the bottle from Charles when he offered it to her, followed by some gauze, Leah gently wetting the gauze with the disinfectant before looking up at Josiah “this might hurt…”

“I can handle it” he stated and she nodded, gently dapping the gauze over the faint burn marks and cuts, cringing every time he hissed in pain. “Almost done, Mr. Trelawny” she stated softly, taking some bandages from Charles, wrapping his feet gently as Josiah unbuttoned his shirt awkwardly, letting Leah examine his torso “they gave you quite the round” she muttered, gently pressing over areas, making a note of where it hurt, and how much. “What’s the verdict, will I live?”

“I’m afraid so, Mr. Trelawny” she joked back with a smirk “nothing’s broken, I can’t be sure without an X-Ray but as far as I can tell, you’re mildly okay.”

“‘Mildly’? Tell me, will I ever be able to play the violin again?”

“Could you play it before?”

“Not particularly, no.”

“Then probably not” she joked back with him, standing up to examine his face as he buttoned up his shirt and covered his chest again. “Your jaw isn’t broken, or locked, you’ll have a black eye tomorrow, though… your jaw is going to be quite sore so I suggest resting it as much as possible, that means soft meals and reduced talking. Your feet are bruised and are going to need time to heal, try not to walk too much on them, you can take the bandages off as you sleep, the fresh air would do them good and they’d heal faster” she informed and he nodded “I think perhaps I’ll-... lay low here, for a while” he muttered and she nodded with a smile “that sounds like a good idea. I suggest you take my bed-”

“No, I couldn’t-”

“I insist. You wouldn’t refuse a lady insisting, would you?” she asked with a smirk, Josiah sighing heavily “I suppose not…”

“Good. I’ll just sleep somewhere else” she stated with a shrug, looking over her shoulder at Charles “maybe I’ll snatch Arthur’s bed” she joked before looking back at Josiah. “The morphine should have kicked in a little while ago, you might be a bit drowsy. You can go on ahead and sleep now if you feel like it, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t” she stated, grabbing her bag before walking out with Charles, closing the flap to her tent, walking over to Arthur as Charles parted to do his own things. “Well, what’s the verdict?”

“He’ll live, though he’ll never be able to play the violin.”

“He could do that before?”

“No” she admitted with amusement, Arthur looking at her before chuckling, the laugh coming from deep within him and it made her blush a little at how much she liked it. “You know, Arthur… I never thanked you for saving my life. I thanked Charles back in the mountains but I don’t think I ever truly thanked you…”

“There’s no need at all. Seeing you ‘round here, helpin’ out as best you can, lifting everyone’s spirit, it’s enough for me” he stated and she smiled but gestured towards his tent in a head nod “I still got you something” she stated, already walking off, stopping to turn and look over her shoulder at him as he stayed put “c’mon” she called and he sprung into action, following her to his tent and she placed her bag on his bed, opening it and looking through it. Arthur was unable to not look at-... well-... at her… as she bent over, right in front of him, with her backside facing him as she dug through that bag of hers. “I knew I left it in here… hold on” she muttered to herself, digging through it before getting out a light brown, leatherbound journal, turning around and presenting it to him “here. I uh, I overheard something about your old journal getting filled up, and that it was damaged from some fire you barely saved it from. So I figured to could use a new one” she stated with a shrug as Arthur accepted the gift, staring at it, opening it, combing through the pages, the tip of his thumb feeling the pages as they fell into place and he closed it again, nodding with a smirk “thanks, I was thinking ‘bout getting a new one” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly and she smiled “well, now you don’t have to” she stated with a smile, Arthur looking down at the journal as he examined it, nodding with a smile “guess not… good quality, too” he mumbled to himself, looking up from it, about to ask her where she got it from when his lips was met with hers. Both of them were frozen in place in shock, Leah quickly redrawing, cheeks blazing and red “I-I’m sorry I-... I-I was-... o-on your cheek a-a-and then you turned your head and-... sorry” she mumbled, swallowing the lump in her throat “sorry” she mumbled again, barely able to grab her bag before rushing off, leaving a shell-shocked Arthur to stand there, staring at the empty spot where she had been.

------------------------------------------

“Kill me, Abigail…”

“Why?”

“Because I kissed Arthur-”

“You did WHAT??”

“It was an accident!”

“How do you kiss someone by accident?” she asked through a laugh, Leah glaring at her, hard “I was going to kiss his cheek and he turned his head at the wrong time-”

“Or the right time.”

“And it just-... happened!” she explained in a panic, ignoring Abigail’s little ‘right time’ comment, Abigail chuckling lightly at her panic “whatchu so worried ‘bout? That he didn’t like it? Honey, he’s been eyein’ you since they brought you in way back when you was passed out all them months ago! And he’s been eyein’ you especially after Shaun’s party!” Abigail stated with utter amusement and Leah’s eyes were wide and her cheeks were dark with a blush as she gently slapped Abigail’s arm “don’t say that!”

“Why? It’s true-”

“It is not!”

“It is! What’re you so afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid-”

“Mhm” she hummed with a knowing smirk, Leah sighing heavily “it’s just-... I-... nevermind” she muttered with a sigh, Abigail chuckling “no, what is it?”

“I can’t-”

“Why?”

“Because-... this is 1899! I just-... can’t…”

“Why?”

“Because it’s 1899!”

“So?”

“So! It’s not something that-.... I just-...”

“What?” Abigail asked much more softly this time, Leah looking up at her, studying her before gently shaking her head “I can’t… I don’t know why I even wanted to say anything to begin with… just forget it?”

“I can’t when it’s obviously somethin’ that’s bugging you” she stated sweetly and Leah sighed softly, looking around as though she was about to spill a secret “it’s-... complicated and-... I-I get it if you-... A-And I understand-”

“Don’t think, thinkin’ just makes it harder. Just spit it out.”

“I’m gay. At least-... I thought I was. But I’m not? I think I’m not? But I am?” she babbled, Abigail looking her up and down before chuckling lightly “I wouldn’t exactly call you gay” she stated with amusement, Leah frowning at her with utter confusion “I-... what?”

“You just-... don’t seem like you’d fit into gay, you know? It ain’t meant as an insult! I ain’t fitting into anything gay either, it just doesn’t suit me-”

“You’re talking about clothes??”

“Yeah, what’re you talking about?”

“Girls” Leah stated plainly, Abigail frowning “I ain’t rightly sure what’s going on” she admitted, Leah narrowing her eyes at her before sighing, groaning to herself as she nodded a little “right, the word originally once referred to-... right” she muttered to herself before looking back at Abigail “I’ve had a-... relationship… with a woman… in fact it’s the only relationship I’ve had” she muttered, Abigail’s eyes widening a little, her eyebrows high on her forehead “oh” she muttered, looking away before frowning, looking back at her again with confusion “well… Why would that matter with Arthur?”

“I just-... i-it-... wasn’t - isn’t - accepted by a lot of people back then - I mean - now” she stuttered, Abigail shrugging “maybe, but it don’t matter to me, and I can promise you that it don’t matter to Arthur one bit.”

“It’s just-... I thought-... I thought I only liked women… I’ve never-....”

“You ain’t never…?”

“No…”

“Not even with your-... uh… wife?”

“Oh, no, we weren’t married! We uh, we broke up after two years together- or, I broke up with her…”

“Oh, I’m sorry. What happened?”

“Well, apparently she was screwing my best friend and her boyfriend together at the same time, so” Leah stated bluntly, Abigail’s eyes wide in shock at her words “oh, well good thing she ain’t here then, I’d have half a mind to show her just how much I’d appreciate someone doin’ that to my friend” she stated half-jokingly yet completely serious at the same time, Leah smiling, chuckling briefly “I’d love to see that.”

“What happened to her?”

“Well, my best friend and her boyfriend broke up after I caught all three of them together, I broke up with my girlfriend whom I had bought a ring for to propose. My then ex-girlfriend and my ex-best friend got together, they lasted about a year before getting drunk, getting married and then divorcing five days later when they sobered up and I think she actually got knocked up by someone” Leah recapped and Abigail chuckled lightly “I ain’t rightly sure where you found those kind of people.”

“Med school. Except my then girlfriend dropped out” Leah stated with a shrug and Abigail grinned, shaking her head with amusement “well, maybe there’s a reason for everythin’? If that’s the case, I’m happy it led us to meet you. You’ve been a real blessin’ for us-”

“As Micah constantly and creepily wants to show me” she muttered with disgust, Abigail sighing heavily “he ain’t a favorite of mine either” she admitted bitterly, Leah smirking at her “I think I know who’s your favorite of the boys” she teased, Abigail frowning at her before her cheeks turned red “don’t matter-”

“Of course it does! You’re his mom!” Leah stated with a grin, Abigail staring at her before bursting out into laughter “I thought you meant John!”

“I know you did” Leah stated with amusement as Abigail laughed. “So, whose your favorite?”

“Well…”

“Can I guess?”

“I don’t think you’ll get it right, but sure, give it a shot.”

“Jack?”

“Damn! How’d you know??” Leah exclaimed, the two women laughing and chuckling together. “He’s such a cute little thing! God, I want one one day” she stated half-jokingly, Abigail chuckling lightly “well, Arthur’s certainly good with him, I’m sure he’d be even better if it was-”

“Don’t put ideas into my head!” Leah laughed, Abigail laughing even louder, the two of them seemingly unable to not laugh, their faces almost red as tears ran down their cheeks, their stomachs hurting from laughter as they continued and continued to laugh.

---------------------------------------------------------

“All things considered, you’re doing quite well, Mr. Trelawny” Leah stated with a smile as she examined the bruises on his face, giving him a smirk “you’ll most definitely still be able to catch the ladies with a charming smile” she added jokingly, Josiah chuckling briefly “I shall do my best, my dear” he stated and she smiled at him before zipping her bag back up, just as someone approached and she looked over her shoulder at Javier as he reached them, Josiah getting up to do something else, Javier taking his place in front of her on the barrels Josiah had been on. “So, how is he?”

“I believe he’ll still be able to con the devil with a charming smile” she replied jokingly, Javier nodding with an amused smirk “that definitely sounds like Trelawny. Hey, I was thinking, what’s between you and Arthur?” his question made her freeze and she narrowed her eyes at him “¿Qué?” she asked casually, feigning cluelessness, making Javier scoff “don’t play that, Hermosa. Come on, I’ve seen how he looks at you, how you look at him-”

“Cállate!” she hissed, Javier chuckling “no, I’m not gonna shut up. Listen, all I’m saying is that it’s obvious that there’s something there. Wanna know what I think?”

“Not really.”

“Act on it. We only have one life, Amiga! Make the best of it, there’s no point in holding back” he stated with a grin and his grin turned into a smirk when he saw how Leah hesitated, looking around hesitantly before sighing “I-... can’t…”

“Why not? Give me one good reason.”

“I’ve never-... you know… I-I mean I have b-but it wasn’t-...”

“You’re a virg-”

“Could you scream that a little louder, please? I don’t think everyone heard you” she hissed, Javier smirking at her “you’re a virgin?”

“I mean-... both yes and no… I-I’m not-... I-I mean I have but nothing’s been-... ‘up there’ s-so I-... you know what? No! No, I’m not discussing this with you-!”

“Not even if I could help you get with Arthur?” he asked with a smirk, watching how any protest, or insult, died on her tongue before they could make it past her lips, her heart racing a little and she looked away, cheeks turning beet red. “How?” she muttered, it was barely audible, her jaw clenched, but Javier heard it. Of course he fucking heard it. “It’s easy, Hermosa. All you gotta do is look the part.”

“‘Look the part’?? You make it sound like I’m going to rob a bank with you guys and play the decoy! ‘Look the part’... What does that even mean??”

“It means; go into Rhodes and get something. A pretty dress, a skirt, whatever makes you feel good and beautiful. I’ll arrange the rest with Charles-”

“H-Hold on, roll that back a little… one: I don’t have money. Two: what am I meant to get?! I have no fashion sense! ‘A pretty dress’, how am I meant to know what that means?-”

“It means that if you feel good in it, if you like it, then it’s the right one. If you don’t feel pretty in it, if it doesn’t make you feel like the beautiful woman that you are, then you shouldn’t buy it. And don’t worry about the money, eh? I got you covered. Come see me before you go into town” he stated with a smirk, Leah sighing heavily as he got up to walk away “I’ll-... take Abigail with me, or something… IF I’m even doing this - we! - if WE are even doing this!” she whispered harshly, Javier chuckling lightly as he nodded “acuerdo” he tipped his bowler hat and Leah scoffed, gently shaking her head.

“‘Deal’... he’s making it sound like it’s a drug deal or something” she muttered to herself before sighing heavily, running a hand over her face in frustration. She looked over her shoulder at Abigail as she sat with Jack, watching him play with a fond smile on her lips, it was obvious that she was beyond proud of her son, who was only four years old. She pushed him to continue learning reading, which he found boring, of course, wanting nothing more than to be a gunslinger and Leah could swear that every time he proclaimed that, she ages at least five years. She was sure her hair was already turning gray. Leah hesitated, looking over at Javier who smirked at her before sighing heavily, getting up and walking over to Jack and Abigail, smiling at Jack. “Hey buddy, could I talk with your mom for a second? I’m sure if you ask really nicely that Uncle Hosea could read you a story” she said with a soft smile, Jack looking up at his mom before nodding and running off, Leah sighing heavily, worry evident on her face as she watched Jack run off to Hosea and Abigail stood up. “You’re lookin’ mighty pale, are you alright? It ain’t the whole ‘1899’ thing again, is it? Is it the heat?-”

“I’m-... I’m fine, I just-... need a favor” she admitted sheepishly, Abigail frowning a little and Leah sighed “I, uh… I-I-... maybe-... go talk with Javier, please, before I choke on my own tongue” Leah muttered with burning cheeks, sitting down on the box Abigail had been sitting on, her face in her hands as Abigail did as Leah asked, talking with Javier in hushed voices and when she returned, she had the biggest smile on her lips that Leah had ever seen, making Leah groan and hide her face in her hands. “‘Bout time you did somethin’ ‘bout it-”

“Shh!” Leah hissed, cheeks still burning red as she tried to hide away behind her hands. “Listen, tomorrow both Javier, Charles and Arthur are gonna go out, a stagecoach’s meant to come through from some bank, headin’ for Saint Denis. The boys’re gonna get it, it’s supposed to be filled with money and we’ll have a little party when they get back, that gives us time to find you somethin’-”

“What if the job goes wrong??”

“Trust me, one way or another, Javier is gonna make that party happen’” Abigail said through giggles, Leah rubbing her temples with her entire face burning hotter than the sun. At least that’s how it felt.

[missspringthyme]

February 22nd, 2024

I didn't get up early, but I did finally go swimming!

It took me awhile to get out of the house, but the pool is only a 5 minute walk away so I wasn't worried. Unfortunately, I had gotten the open and closing times wrong and the lady at the counter kept had me go outside to take a picture of the actual open and close times. I got caught off guard enough that my German went completely through the window and I kept struggling with what to say to her while she fought to speak in broken denglish. It's so frustrating understanding a language better than you speak it, because it just makes it look like you're lying about your language abilities. Last night I ended up googling German intensive programs because I'm so sick of my language abilities. I have a few lifelong goals that I desperately want that I don't talk much about, but they include getting my German and Japanese back and actually being genuinely physically fit.

I'm planning on asking my dad if he would be willing to bankroll me attending an intensive when I have the time (it's his fault english is my better language anyway) and hopefully if I manage to swim and do bodyweight workouts on the regular it'll put me in a good spot to actually get serious during my gap year.

When I left the pool, I considered just going back to my apartment. I came very close. The combination of me already feeling nervous about swimming (I feel very (incorrectly) self conscious when I do any formal of cardio) and the incident with the woman in the pool had me feeling very frozen. The other pool is a 25 minute walk away, so I decided to at least get some cardio in by walking over there.

The walk was nice, I keep thinking the solution to me hating walks is to pick a destination. When I got to the pool though, I sat outside nervous. I hate when this happens, but I've also just felt very stuck lately in general. I once again considered turning around and taking the walk as a win, but eventually I got myself to go it. Where I promptly found another chair to sit and freeze in. It continued like that until I finally, finally made it upstairs and to the second pool lady. Oh God.

She struggled a bit with my bonus card, but everything was fine. My German was fine, everything was fine. She scanned my card, and I went in. Maybe life isn't so terrible after all. I didn't bring a euro, so I stuffed my thing in an unlocked locker and brought my valuables out under my towel. Next time, I'm just bringing the bag out to the pool. I also didn't put my cap on until I could see if other people were wearing caps. I probably should protect my hair, but it makes me feel more self conscious when I'm not that good and other people aren't wearing them. Like the asshole who buys all the best gear before even trying the hobby.

The pool, for some reason, reminded me of the pool at my school in Tokyo. Something about the temperature and the feel of the water. Cold, but one that didn't seep into you. Water that felt like you were cutting into it, not pushing. As I paddled on my back, the memory of the ceiling of the ASIJ pool with the black and gold lane markers was fresh in my mind. I still remember exactly all the markers in that pool because they meant 'this lap is almost over, you're so close'. I made sure to go slowly and not overdo myself. I've always had a problem with anything endurance based because I don't know how to pace myself. Luckily, even my rest pace was faster than everyone else in the pool.

At one point, a bunch of school kids came in and started jumping off the diving board at the end of the pool so I had to stay clear. I did, however, get to watch them fall through the water in between breaths. I started timing my strokes so I could get a better look. I've always like being underwater, and I've always liked the big divide between the world above the water and the world below it. When the kids hit the water it's like time slows down. I watch the bubbles and the blues.

My goal is to eventually do 50 laps, and today I did 15. We'll work on it.

Later that night, I did a paint and sip that my building was putting on. I drank a schole instead of wine and had a good time. I spent a lot of time trying to convince authentic australian on the wrong german names for colors. Groin is the new grün.

Spanish neighbor is reading Breeding with Bigfoot so I'm excited to hear her thoughts as she progresses.

[thewanderingdiary]

Date: August 31, 2023

Location: Hannam

Entry # 6

Hello reader,

Tomorrow I leave for Busan.

I am slowly getting comfortable with living this new temporary life of travelling. However, just yesterday, I got a message from my old boss that I might be asked to come back.

I think I am still set on travelling until March next year.

I'm not thinking about it too much because things can change any time.

As I slowly get more comfortable and confident in speaking and understanding Korean, I couldn't help but shed a tear when I realised that all of this was from hard work. I was always insecure and underestimated my ability with languages. I feel like I have the ability to learn the basics but never good enough to go any more than that. I realised that language is a skill that takes time and I needed to be kinder to myself.

I went to get my saju and a psychic medium reading. I asked about my person. I asked what should I do. I suddenly heard this person's name in my head while a tarot reader was talking about my future partner/husband two years ago. But for 2 years, I struggled with that information. I don't know why his name came into my head when I wasn't even a fan then. I've asked many readers and everything had been encouraging, but I felt like there was nothing happening no matter how much I tried. To this day, the other person hasn't reached out to me despite my genuine efforts to contact him and support him through his service.

I still don't even know if he has received or read any of messages. I don't know if any of my messages gave him comfort or support. Should I keep leaving messages? Or does he think I am crazy for always messaging him? Does he find me creepy and want me to stop? Or does he want me to keep going? I have no idea. This whole thing has been very difficult for me too. I wish I could get some direct answer from you.

When I asked the psychic medium on what to do she said that even though I had a psychic message that came through in my head, the "frequency" was wrong. I guess it's like a radio station and maybe I tuned into the wrong channel...

I don't know what to feel about that. I wasn't looking for love back then. Actually I had already given up on it. And why did the universe torture me this way. Why give your name? Why give a name of someone so unobtainable and unreachable? Why?

Most importantly, I feel so very sorry to you for all of this. I am sorry I somehow dragged you into this. I feel so embarassed and ashamed. I feel like an idiot thinking there was even a chance. We live in such different worlds. Even if I was just to be your friend, am I going to be interesting enough for you? I am not even considered attractive in your society so I don't think you'd even give a second look if I walked past you. I also want to move on if what I am doing is not good for either of us. But why is your spirit still around me.

She told me that it's best if I don't think about it anymore. I have mixed feelings. Most of which are feelings of betrayal. I feel lied to by the universe, spirits and my psychic abilities.

Maybe you wouldn't even realise I had disappeared. If I stop, maybe you won't even miss my messages because you didn't even know it existed in the first place.

I've made a promise to myself that I would do my best to try and meet you. I've always joked around that I might need to physically turn up where you live for us to meet. Even after the psychic reading, I still visited the place where you lived even though I know you won't be home.

But at least... I know.. that now I truly have done everything I could to at least meet you halfway. I don't have regrets. I just feel disappointment and betrayal. I felt like I was made to look like a fool. I feel very hurt.

I guess, today marks the first day of letting go of you..

I hope that you will have a good life.

You deserve all the love in the world.

Perhaps, that also means that you wouldn't need my love since you already get so much of it.

Who am I anyway? I mean nothing to you even though you meant everything to me.

I am really sorry...

I really don't know what to do anymore..

Maybe tonight I can cry about it one last time and let it go.

Until next time,

The Wandering Diary