#when people can actually figure out urls and stuff i guess

[echoesofaheart]

btw once people who want individual sideblogs actually have them properly set up we're probably going to make a proper pinned. and that will be the closest we get to any sort of alter list

[rohirric-hunter]

Tagged by @a-lonely-dunedain to plug OC names into this heacanon generator and see if it fits.

Léonys:

Léonys doesn't own a single pair of matching socks.

Okay, so in actuality no, Léonys has lots of pairs of matching socks and is actually pretty neat about her clothes and stuff when she's at home. BUT I can see this becoming one of those annoying widely-accepted fanon headcanons in direct contradiction to canon because 95% of the time the reader is exposed to her in a, "Has been living in the woods for 3-8 business days, has not spoken to another human being in almost a week, ate bark that was still attached to the tree, laid flat on her back with her mouth open while it was raining to get a drink (for fun)," kind of state, or the many stages of breakdown I dragged her through in Léonys of Rohan. I think if my stuff had a bigger following a lot of people would have trouble reconciling that Léonys with the way she acts when she's, like, in a house.

Léonys does not know what sleep is.

She really does not LMAO. Take a nap, girl

Léonys is smart but also very stupid.

I mean this one's vague enough that it could apply to basically anyone I think. Which means it's a winner! Léonys figured out, on her own, within a few days of properly meeting him, that Aragorn was the heir of the old kings. She also got involved in all that because she saw brigands with hostages and was like, "Go and get help? Tell the town guard? Involve the other hunters? Nah! I'll just follow them! :) and take care of it myself :)."

Léonys crashed a riding lawn mower into their fence.

Absolutely not the ride-on lawnmower goes nowhere except where she told it to go. The ✨🌟🤗🐎💖bond ✨🌟🤗🐎💖 that exists between the Rohirrim and their horses ride-on lawnmowers

Hathellang:

Hathellang is a cry baby.

I mean I guess it depends on what about. This also sort of sounds like a headcanon made up by someone who doesn't actually like the character, so, you know. Subjective. I don't think so. But there's not a lot I would label crybaby anyway.

Hathellang has a roblox account.

Disclaimer: I've never played Roblox. But yeah, I feel like he has one. He used to play a lot more than he does now. But that was years ago. These days no one knows he has it except for Léonys. But sometimes when one of the other kids complains that someone was too mean to them on Roblox he logs on and, well, see,,, if the offender didn't have bannable offenses to work with already then suddenly,,,,, mysteriously,,,,,,,,, they start committing bannable offenses. For literally no reason whatsoever, they must have just felt like it, suddenly. Who knows! Anyway, reported.

(I.E. Hathellang would be a holy terror on the internet, somehow able to talk the trolls into getting themselves banned while only barely toeing the line himself. A power that could be used for good or evil. He uses it to back up his kid siblings on disagreements over the Walmartland makeup obby.)

Hathellang believes in Santa.

He does not! But he's really dedicated to keeping the Santa Experience alive for the younger kids. Also I feel like in a modern AU he'd be super into the Santa Clause movies.

Belharen:

Belharen is afraid of doing anything without their parent's permission.

Belharen is involved in the plot because she ran away from home. Without her parents' permission. That doesn't mean she's not afraid of doing things without her parents' permission. But she still does them.

Ferelin:

Ferelin is tumblr famous.

Oh my god yes. Spot on. IDK what I can add. His shitposts are legendary. Made a new friend. Have informed him that I do not know what a roof is. Think he has little enough knowledge of the Shire that this should fly with him. Eager to see how this plays out. Update: Friend in question visiting my house right now as we speak. Made comment about the roof. Think he remembers what I told him when we first met. Except funnier, probably, IDK. I wonder what his URL would be. He casually refers to his improbable and near-miraculous ability to heal basically anything by singing to it very stubbornly and people think it's some kind of extended bit. He lets them think so because they started to come up with theories about it and it's kind of funny.

Dahlia:

Dahlia knows fnaf lore.

Probably, lol. I feel like she wouldn't play the games, though. I've never played them, this is vibes-based. She just knows the lore. For some reason. Maybe she watches hour-long YouTube videos breaking it down to relax.

And because I've been thinking about her recently some Pegweneth:

Pegweneth instinctively cleans messes in their own house as well as other peoples.

Pegweneth judges people for having messes in their houses TBH. Privately. In her head. She does not clean them. Her house is not clean.

Pegweneth knocks people over by hugging them.

If she knows them very well and is confident they're okay with it.

Pegweneth is not good with social cues.

She knows what they are. She just thinks they're stupid she's above them she responded to them appropriately when she really didn't.

Hmmm, seems like a lot of people I would normally tag in these things have been tagged already. I know many people with OCs and I know that many of them dislike this sort of fandom/headcanon stuff. Open invitation to do it if you want to?

[i-already-know-im-going-2-hell]

Tag Game Response!

thank you for the tag Ciel (@incesthemes)!

Do you make your bed? I actually sleep on a couch (by choice) and so the only extent of making my bed is like, maybe folding the blanket sometimes so nope

What's your favorite number? Don't have one! I do find that I have a tendency to knock on things twice though that's more a compulsion than anything

What is your job? I work in a microbiology lab in a hospital. I promise you it's not as interesting as those words sound

If you could go back to school, would you? Yeah actually. I'm considering going back for a psychology degree for being a therapist, but I haven't been in a place to do so yet

Can you parallel park? Theoretically

A job you had that would surprise people? Uhhhh, I think my current job is the most surprising one I've ever had, and that's mainly cause most people don't know it exists

Do you think aliens are real? I'm the equivalent of agnostic towards the concept of aliens, the spiritual, all that stuff. I don't have a strong enough opinion to dismiss or agree with either direction, and since aliens or the concept thereof affect my life currently, I've never bothered to form a strong enough opinion to dismiss or agree with the concept

Can you drive a manual car? I can actually! My first car I owned was a manual and I haven't gone back since. They're fun and I like the expression on men's faces when they find out I can drive them

What's your guilty pleasure? Watching the incest show

Tattoos? I have a couple. I've got two quotes on my right arm and I just finger poked a white ivy vine on my left hand middle finger the other day. I will continue to get more, especially because I have access to a stick and poke kit now

Favorite Color? Teal! Specifically a teal that edges more towards green than blue (Fun fact, I've painted every room I lived in some form of teal up to when I was 22)

Favorite type of music? I could not tell you. I genuinely don't understand genres very well and I listen to music on a song by song basis and don't actually even know a lot of artists. I can tell you I prefer faster beats usually over slow and melodic, but don't have much of an answer beyond that

Do you like puzzles? Not in the way people normally think of them, but I like sorting information and figuring out solutions to things. Think like, math I guess. I like puzzles if they function like math

Any phobias? I wouldn't say I'm never afraid, but I don't think I genuinely am afraid of anything in the manner that would be able to be called a phobia

Favorite childhood sport? Swimming, in the form of getting in the water and it not being a contest. I don't really honestly enjoy sports much. Every once in a while I will get hit with the sudden compulsion to run and I'll get up in the middle of the night and just go running for 20-30 minutes until it goes away or I collapse in the grass, but I don't think that counts as a sport either

Do you talk to yourself? Yeah. I work in a lab alone multiple days a week, I sometimes forget I'm talking out loud actually

What movies do you adore? So I don't actually process visual media well honestly, it takes a lot of energy for me to focus in and put something on, so I don't actually watch movies much. Currently the only one coming to mind that I have actually rewatched several times is Pride and Prejudice the version with Kiera Knightley. But in general I just don't watch things unless somebody else puts it on

Coffee or tea? I do not understand why I would have to choose. I don't really consume much liquid in general and I don't require caffeine in my day to day life, so I really only drink coffee or tea if I feel like the taste, which is every once in a while for both.

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? So apparently, according to a time capsule I opened in middle school, I wanted to be a "farmer living in poverty" growing up. Yes, the poverty was specified. Yeah, your guess is as good as mine

Urls are like names and I suck at those, so I'm honestly just gonna tag Nep and Hydra because I know you two's off the top of my head: @holyfreaks @overrated-sheep

[theinconveniencing]

carmennnnnnnnnn hi. I hope u get a jovalencia icon to match the url cuz I love crisana but Joa & kelsey is simply the vibe. also since u didn’t ask i hope u saw my post about me driving crush girl and her roommate and their stuff to their little yurt transportation tomorrow . Since I’m down bad or whatever the fuck. anyways what is ur new job i hope it goes well i hope u get to hang out w the people you like at home for the summer and replenish ur energy a little etc etc and i preemptively hope school part 2 goes ok for u <3 also love that ur sister is being nice to u now that’s all ok bye :)

hiiiiiiii maya literally jo and kelsey are so important they’re literally us and skam austin is the american remake and dani is coming to america so ofc those have to be the matching icons come on. I did see your post about driving crush girl and I love that you’re using it as a substitute for being emotionally vulnerable that’s very funny. hope you get to kiss her some day if not get well soon. I work at the gas station!!!! which is suuuuuuch a first summer home from college job and also half the reason I applied was so I could be like **** in ********* by ******** on ao3 and there’s not enough money in the world to make me unredact that but just know it’s a fanfiction I read last august and it changed my life because it was literally august before I started my first year of college. you know how it is. and thank you I hope it goes well too but if it doesn’t I know it has an expiration date of mid september. god bless. I also hope I can hang out with some people I like maybe even some old friends I haven’t seen since I graduated that would be nice. and again I also hope that next school year goes well for me bc if it doesn’t I swear to God I’m dropping out I can’t do this shit. but I will keep a positive outlook for now, I have a class on dinosaurs next quarter :). also my sister is nice to me most of the time but she’ll randomly say something so mean like most recently that I can recall it was the night we washed wendi and her friend (side note this friend is like if kelsey russell skam austin was a real person like it’s actually scary how similar they are) had just sent me all the pics and I have a spam account on Instagram that I Love posting on and I was trying to figure out what pictures to use and I guess my sister was annoyed with me bc she got all mad and was like “carmen.” and I was like “what” and she just said “you’re not that special” like okay???? I just wanted to post silly pictures of my cat. I brought it up yesterday and she was like “I don’t remember saying that why did I say that” like bitch idk. but yes it’s true she doesn’t actively call me a horrible person to my face anymore🫶 that was when she was dating her horse girl ex. weird ass era. speaking of the horse girl ex, she’s giving kelsey friend the daniel treatment rn like she’s being so rude and poor kelsey friend feels so awful. like FUCK horse girl ex for REAL

[olderthannetfic]

Do you have some advice for where to get started with doing fandom meta (ressources on ways to extract the meta data of fics, which programs work best with data like that, etc.)?

I'm already using nianeyna's script for my own stuff, so I'm familiar with that.

--

I'm not actually good at any of that.

What I am good at is defining the right question.

There exist many programs for looking at big sets of statistical data. The vast majority of fandom meta writers, including me, use none of these. If you look at the charts that show up in meta posts, you'll notice that most of them show all the signs of Google Sheets default settings. People are literally just dumping their data in the nearest spreadsheet and turning it into a graph. It's as simple as that.

The biggest impediment to most people's meta is that they don't have enough social or historical context to decide which data to look for. And often, they're too lazy to do any hand-collection even though the question they want to answer cannot be answered by AO3 or by existing metadata that's clearly labeled.

The big first step is always to figure out what's out there in terms of archives and other places people post and how its metadata is structured. This both tells you what you can scrape vs. hand-classify and tells you interesting things about what different spaces prioritize or how they conceptualize their content. To pick my favorite obvious example, AO3 classifies by ship type as a top category, with 'no ship' on an even footing with each other type rather than ship vs. no ship with types under ship. Meanwhile, FFN's big classification is genre, many of which are bookstore genres, not fandom trope jargon.

Meta writers extract metadata either with scripts like destinationtoast's (which are on github) or by hand. Some questions require a combination of the two.

I often use a spreadsheet formula to get the URLs I want. Many things increment in predictable ways or are otherwise predictable. You can generate a list of what you need and then just open the links when you want to see fic totals for that particular search or whatever.

I guess if you're asking on a purely technical level, python scripts seem to be the most common.

[notebookmusical]

Hi! I hope you had a really amazing birthday! Yay for your voice being back and I'm glad you're feeling better. Oh that is kinda a cool idea, to stab the cake..I've never thought of that. I guess it's almost similar to a piñata though haha. Ya I know..cuz some people have accents and stuff which is kinda weird to think about since I don't think of it that much. I think I will think of my resolutions when I get to the end of the year..at least the specifics. I never stick to them though but I really wanna change that ugh.

Yep I think you told me that before but that sucks. I think it came out how many songs were in the movie so people were trying to figure out what was cut. I don't know the songs that well to make a guess honestly but if you have any idea, you can say it here. I think they could get rid of whose house is this but a lot of the songs could possibly feel unnecessary anyway since people already know the movie. There's a few I wouldn't care about them cutting I guess..i could see Cautionary Tale, Sexy and I find more is always better pretty boring lol. I hope the movie is still good though. I know most people still don't know it was based on the musical and it's similar with The Color Purple actually and Wonka. I think Wonka got kinda good reviews but I'm not sure I will go watch it yet.

Yay! I don't like worrying about getting older either so I know exactly what you mean and I don't really enjoy my birthday anymore either but there's also nothing you can do about it so no point worrying. Omg I did think of Dancing with our hands tied too but I guess I forgot it. Also find that 1975 lyric so relatable. I'm glad you enjoyed them! What are some of your favorites so far? Oh thats nice..you can always take your friend's recommendations too since they have so many good songs.

I know! And I also enjoy Snow on the Beach quite a bit. My sister freaked out when the collab was announced haha. It was definitely one of the songs that stood out on a first listen to me and you can definitely hear Lana's influence on it. That's also similar to how Electric Touch sounds like Fall Out Boy too. It kinda sounds like a Lana song. I still prefer the original version compared to more Lana because of the dreamy outro though. Are you also a fan of Lana and do you listen to her? What are your favorite songs?

I am excited to listen to the EP. I assume your url is a lyric and I wonder if it has to do with new years kiss or day or simply just wanting the year to be over. I will listen soon and give you my thoughts..I'm sure I will love it too. That kinda music always makes me happy too. I can't believe Christmas is already this week.

Oh that's so awful! It makes sense why you would dislike it now. When did you see it on tour? Have you just been holding a grudge against CATS for years? At least it wasn't at one of your favorite musicals! Also are you a cat lover? I'm not as much as Taylor but I do like them. I think La La Land just feels like a modern version of a classic old movie musical and I like how many references there are. Also I know people said they couldn't sing, but Emma was in Cabaret on Broadway and now Ryan sang in Barbie. I liked the setup and structure of it. I like the simple story of two people reaching for their dream. It reminds me of the same concept of Dorothea or Midnight Rain too..which we have talked about. I also like comparing it to The Last Five Years and a Star is Born too which have some similarities and differences. I also loved those two films so much and they all revolve around couples who don't work out lol. But you know by now that I just like to compare things, like with books, so maybe that's why.

I actually got a few books yesterday for a quarter each. One of them was Get a Life, Chloe Brown which I have heard I think good reviews of. I wanted to know if you've read it. Another one was by the same author of The Virgin Suicides and I love that movie so much. I also got book by the same author of Big Little Lies and I have another one of her books on my shelf so I thought it might be a good pair. I haven't actually seen Big Little Lies and I'm not a mystery reader lol so I'll have to see. Another thing you should know about me is that I absolutely love sitcoms. That and teen dramas and baking shows are usually the shows I watch. so I also got Mindy Kalings book and Matthew Perry's book...RIP which I thought was a pretty good deal. Also it was announced the other day that Captain Holt from B99 passed away. :( I also have Anna Kendricks and Andrew Rannells books on my shelf too and wanted to possibly read Im Glad my mom died and I was in the middle of Crying in Hmart before too. I honestly don't know why I buy more when so many are already on my list.

Well we have a lot of the same Folklore favorites and less on Evermore I guess. I still like debut..I just never play it anymore. That doesn't mean it's bad..it's just that she's gotten better compared to debut's lyrics which are more simple. plus I don't wanna flash back to being 12 all the time lol and I didn't even play the full album until I was like 20. but my favorite songs on the album are songs I really love a lot. But I definitely have a soft spot for it cuz that's what made me love her in the first place. I would argue Fearless is one of her best albums too for bringing something new to country music. I was never a fan of country but she made me a fan of it anyway and that's important too. All of her albums mean something different to me. I put rep next cuz there isn't a song that I dislike and I connect with the meaning or feeling of the album the most. I know she said the old Taylor was dead on the album, but to me it was like she was coming back to me cuz I didn't connect to 1989. I do wonder if the vault tracks will lean into that more which will make me love it more. I almost feel disconnected to her in a similar way right now but I don't really know why and I'm hoping Rep TV helps. I hope you had the most wonderful birthday and wish many good things for you for the next year! I think you're such a kind person and enjoy talking to you! 🩷

hello, friend!! it was really, really fun! a fun fact about me is that i used to have a blend of a british-australian-irish accent (a product of going to international school and having british, australian and irish teachers) but then i very quickly dropped it after i moved here! i actually sent a childhood friend a voice memo the other day — which was the first time he's heard my voice in like, fifteen years — and he was shocked at how "american" i sound. i am terrible at doing accents just for fun though!

i'm also trying to figure out what will be cut and what will stay — i'm thinking world burn, i see stars, revenge party, apex predator, sexy, someone gets hurt, it roars, fearless and i'd rather be me will be in it? i'm not sure what else — maybe whose house is this, where do we belong/meet the plastics (like a mashup like they did on the tonys)? i don't know if they'll keep stupid with love or more is better, just because i don't think the guy playing aaron can sing? what do you think? i also don't think i'll be going to see wonka (but that's not a surprise, given how terrible i am at watching movies haha)!

i don't listen to lana much! i like a few songs — the ones that most people like, but i have a family friend's daughter who lovesssss lana (she's fifteen) so i do want to give lana another try just so i can ~ seem cool ~ and ~ have something to talk to ~ with the fifteen year old haha. what about you? do you listen to lana? what are your favorites?

my url IS a lyric! it's from the song "is it new year's yet" and it is also just kind of how i feel! i feel like the last like ~ two weeks of the year is kind of a waiting game, so i'm kind of just like! okay! tick tock! i do love winter/christmas music though — fruitcake ep, together this christmas by maisie peters, so much wine by phoebe bridgers, laufey's a very laufey holiday, christmas tree farm, the holiday collection... etc!

i saw it many, many years ago! i think in 2012 or 2013? and yes, i've just been holding a grudge against CATS since then 😭 i do like cats! i am very allergic but i just did a whole thing of allergy shots so hopefully that'll help! i am more of a dog person (just because i've had dogs and while i'm allergic to dogs too, my allergies aren't as bad). and i do agree — i love classic old movie musicals, and they got that vibe perfectly! it also reminds me of once — not as classic old movie musical, but just in the way things end! have you seen once (movie or musical)? i love it; maybe i'll spin the vinyl today while i work!

oh that's such a good deal! i did like the brown sisters series; the second one (dani brown) is my favorite! i hope you enjoy it; you'll have to let me know! i haven't read most of the other ones you mentioned, but i did read crying in h mart (and loved it; have read it two or three times now), and i am also guilty of buying books when i have a huge physical tbr stack! it's one of my 2024 goals actually — just to read the books i already own (and unhaul).

i also have been feeling very disconnected to her — and especially with the swiftie fandom for a while now. which just ... really sucks! because i love her music! i haven't really listened to her much this year, actually (this was the first year in a very long time where she was not my most listened to artist; still in my top five, just not number one). just kind of a :/ feeling! i still haven't watched the movie at home either, but i will eventually!

thank you so much for your well wishes! you are so so sweet and i always love chatting with you 🤍 thank you for being my friend and chatting with me! hope you're having a good wednesday!

[thesoulofasurvivor]

@ayakoito​ asked:

What was the first muse that you’ve written? How do you describe writing / rp to others? How do you create an OC? What are your steps for developing an OC? What’s something you find weird on here?

What was the first muse that you’ve written?

Oof this would have been soooo many years ago I can barely even remember. My first ever roleplaying experiences were with my cousin, like, 10+ years ago. We both were obsessed with dogs, so I know we wrote dogs a lot. But, we were also hella obsessed with Sailor Moon and wrote that together as well. I don’t know which one came first lol 

How do you describe writing / rp to others?

As simply as possible, I just tell people it’s like writing a story with somebody else. That’s it... I know, I’m very vague... But I really don’t talk to people I know about roleplay unless I know they roleplay as well, so like I just don’t engage in that topic otherwise at all. 

How do you create an OC? What are your steps for developing an OC?

Well, it usually starts with inspiration from a video game, a show or a movie that I really love. Either a character or the concept of something or just the genre in general, honestly, all my muses are a big mix mash of inspiration of all different things that I loved from movies, games and shows. I do the hardest bits first and the easiest last, which would be... Name, faceclaim, icons, banners, blog url. I am the absolute worst when it comes to figuring out a name and a faceclaim and making icons and all that jazz takes so much work, so I knock that out of the way first. I have a hard concentrating long enough to get info done in a timely manner, but despite that, coming up with the stories and all the basic stuff is usually easy enough. But even when I start my blog to write them, I don’t necessarily consider them 100% done most of the time because writing them in some threads helps me learn more about how I want to portray them, which in turn, influences change for previous info to eventually match exactly how I imagine them and how I want them to be. Creating an OC is one thing, finally getting to actually write them is something else entirely... I dunno, a big part of developing my OCs includes writing them for a little bit and changing things up along the way as I learn more about them until eventually they’re just how I want. I don’t know if all that makes sense but yeah... 

What’s something you find weird on here?

Uhhh well, I guess people who have like... Super strict rules? Ridiculously long lists of banned faceclaims, which honestly I didn’t even know was a thing until I joined back on tumblr again this year, and I guess when people follow you but then never interact with you or ignore all of your attempts to interact. I’ve also seen some people who hate it when you message them just to chat? Which, fine, but I really enjoy chatting with people ooc so maybe I just don’t understand why. Oh, and apparently some people won’t give you the time of day if you’re a multimuse of only female or only male muses because it means you’re sexist or some shit, that’s hella weird to be honest. People write who and what they’re most comfortable with, it ain’t that deep bro. 

[agendratum]

tagged by @kissporsche​​​ for this one, thank you aagain!!

NAME: yana

SIGN: for some reason i feel... inclined... to use... a gif.......

(a virgo)

HEIGHT: 173cm (you go figure out what it is in your numbers people i still don’t get it)

TIME: like right now? 1:31am

BIRTHDAY: very soon actually!!

FAVOURITE ARTIST/BAND: i don’t really have one cause i listen to like, stuff, on and off, but my initial instinct was to say mother mother, so here you go

LAST MOVIE: again, terminator 2

LAST SHOW: .........................kinnporsche

WHEN I CREATED THIS BLOG: i guess before 2015, but the archive doesn’t go further than that :C but this is my second blog on tumblr, since i moved out of the spn infested one

WHAT I POST: memes of questionable quality, gifs, liveblogs of me going nuts over some blorbos, a lot of reblogs

OTHER BLOGS: @linkletrieswitchcraft​ is where i keep all the text posts for memeing purposes (can you tell by the url that it wasn’t its original purpose?) and then there is another one that’s basically empty

DO I GET ASKS: sometimes, usually it’s fun, occasionally weird, but honestly asks are always welcome and at least they’re like an experience for sure

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: i’d say it varies from 10 to 4, so an average is 7? nice

WHAT I'M WEARING: a sleeveless t-shirt and some shorts

DREAM JOB: goddddddddddddddddd. not that being god is my dream job. maybe ask me again in 10 years and then i’ll have it figured out.

DREAM TRIP: at this point? anywhere at all

ok that’s depressing aklsds i actually would still call japan my dream destination. i would just love to see that place

FAVOURITE SONGS (and quotes from them, just for some spice):

поговори со мною ольга (talk to me, olga) - ночные снайперы (nochnye snaipery) (i already translated it like 3 years ago)

Поговори со мною, Ольга О судьбах нашей страны Мы скоро с тобой будем ей не нужны

Please talk to me, my dear Olga About the fate of our land It won’t need us soon, it was already planned

let’s fall in love - mother mother

Mommy did it, daddy did it Even though I bet they wish they really didn't

the foundation of decay - my chemical romance

You must fix your heart And you must build an altar where it rests When the storm decays and the sky it rains Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away

tagging wwwwwhoooever wants to do it, i’m so lost, it took so long, it’s nOT 1:31am anymore lkajsd but hey @greenwitching​​ @vegasandhishedgehog​​ @the-rat-king-shriggy​​ @sugarbabywenkexing​​  hey hey

[lazywitchling]

LIKE NO BUT ACTUALLY. It IS a fair point, because I’ve brought it up a few times on here. Not on the term “witchling” as a whole, but on my specific use of it. I’ve mentioned that my username is entirely not accurate to me. I am neither lazy nor a witchling. I have ADHD, and my levels of executive function vary wildly depending on the day, my mood, the task, etc. I thought of that as laziness for most of my life. And when I was first starting this blog, I didn’t know how long my interest would last, but I knew I wanted to learn things. I wanted a place to reblog stuff I found useful and interesting. But I also saw how witch blogs get all sorts of questions about anything and everything, and I wanted to give everyone a heads-up that I had no fucking clue what I was doing. Thus was born one LazyWitchling.

But tbh, to me it’s felt like the discourse we have about those Types Of Witches lists. You know, when new witches see those lists and they go “how do I find out what type of witch I am?” and we have to explain again that those lists are for fun, but they are limiting if you try to just stick to one like it’s your Hogwarts house. We don’t ACTUALLY declare ourselves to be a “type” of witch... BUT. I also have had “Arts & Crafts Witch” and “Artificer” in my blog description. Why? Easy. It’s so y’all know what you’re getting into when you take a first glance at my blog. It’s a label for your convenience. It’s a category. Like a little tab in the binder that is witchblr. “Here there be crochet magic and bookbinding”.

“Lazy” was always meant to show my interest in low-effort and/or budget friendly spells. “Witchling” was so that nobody tried to ask me how to summon a demon when I was still trying to figure out what the fuck deosil means (I still don’t know, but now I don’t care 😂). “Arts & Crafts Witch” and “Artificer” are so that I avoid people coming into my inbox with “how do I cross the hedge?” (Bitch, Idk!) My blog description also says “secular” so people know that I probably don’t have answers on how to contact a deity, and “asexual” so they know a) no sex magic here, and b) probably a good indication of this being an LGBTQ+ friendly space.

But IRL? When I’m actually practicing my craft? I use none of those words. Because they just don’t help me. I know who I am, and I don’t need to explain me to me. I don’t need categorizations when I’m casting spells, ‘cause I’m just... casting. Who cares if I’m working with herbs this time instead of craft glue and popsicle sticks? I certainly don’t. It doesn’t fit with my “arts&crafts” blog category, but I’m a person, not a category.

(How many times can I use the word “category” in a paragraph?)

Anyway. What the hell am I even saying?

I guess... words like “witchling” and “baby witch” have their uses when labeling your blog, and less use when labeling your craft. You don’t need to think of yourself as “lesser” in your practice when you’re just starting out. We don’t have tiers here. You don’t have to pass a test to get your red belt in Witchery. But if you find the term helpful to use because it’s shorthand for “hi I’m new here, please don’t yell at me if I don’t yet understand why we hate S*lver R*venwolf, I’m still learning the ropes”, then more power to you, witchling.

But maybe think twice before putting it in your blog url so you’re not sitting at your desk working on building your own paradigm and philosophy of how your magic works and where it comes from, and you’ll be stuck with a blog and a navigation page and all your links leading to “lazywitchling” because you’re a dumbass with no foresight 😂

(And lemme tag @asksecularwitch because Relevant To Your Rants)

[heres-your-terf-blocklist]

I've found myself going down a few rabbit holes with my block button at the ready recently, so I decided to put my growing blocklist to good use!

Just a few things about this blog:

This is a side blog, and I will not be linking to my main. I would prefer to remain as anonymous as possible, because

I realize I will probably get some transphobic bigots coming after me trying to defend themselves/their ilk. Bring it on, sweetie. You'll either get my rage and/or the boot 🥾

Just in case y'all aren't comfortable with me being completely faceless: call me Anti-terf Atty, I am fem (she/her), bi, American, a biology major (believe me, science actually backs up inclusivity), and am ready to give transphobes the aforementioned boot 🥾

I will be accepting (via asks, anons are on) any blogs that you know/suspect are transphobes.

I am following some of the common terf tags on here (*blegh*), for blocking purposes, so I should be able to find most of them (maybe even some of their main blogs, hehe).

When I make a post about a blog, I will do my best to find either a recent terfy post on the blog, or a popular post of theirs that spews their crap, as well as any hints/dogwhistles from their blog title and/or description. So you have receipts. (Keep that in mind if you send me a blog. If you can link to something terfy of theirs, I'd appreciate the help.)

Something to keep in mind:

I do not condone anyone who attacks or bullies others, including the people that I list on this blog, especially on my behalf. I make a point of not making verbal attacks against the users I post about. It is not my intention to hurt them back, nor do I encourage anyone to do so in my stead. The point of this blog is to provide you a quick and handy place to help you figure out users you should block and avoid.

Other than that, I guess, feel free to ask questions if you'd like, but this is mostly just gonna be what blogs they are and why I have them blocked.

Navigation notes!

(*Yeah, that was uncalled for.*) - Some commentary from me, not part of the actual calling out. Essentially, me talking to myself, or behind my hand to you.

(Here's what I found out.) - A bit of clarification, definitions, that sort of thing.

#atty speaks - I'm saying stuff, obviously. Not necessarily a callout

#atty answers - asks

#atty updates - non-blocklist related things (taking a break, amendments to schedule, etc)

#atty loves science and hates when people use it for bigotry - me explaining scientific concepts, calling out when terfs do science wrong (*which they do. A lot*)

#here's your terf blocklist - a new addition to the blocklist

#atty with the receipts - when I have evidence for adding someone to the blocklist

I do tag users by url (@terfblocker95) in the tags. When answering asks (with who asked if available), and when adding to the blocklist. Just an fyi there.

[posi-pan]

seems VerilyBitchie knows about you and said you gutted one of the historical quotes you used (the one from George Chauncey about men in the 1930s) and recontextualized it dishonestly

what else is new. i wonder if this is why i was asked for my opinion on them. i said their url sounded familiar in my response, and i eventually ended up looking them up and it was because i had seen their videos around. but when i checked their tumblr and saw the types of posts they make and share and who they interact with? panphobe. this just cements it.

anyways. i read their post (which is from a year ago) and i guess this will be my response.

my favorite part was how they claimed my definition of pan is one that says bi people can’t be attracted to gender nonconformity or transness. because any time spent on my blog shows that i have never thought that. but what else do you expect from panpohbes?

and like....the post they were referring to.....when i mentioned how the definition of pan was used in that book, i was simply pointing out how the “not defined by gender” wording that pan people often use was being used at that time. that’s it. nothing deeper. it solely about those words.

and it was literally not a serious post at all. pan people can’t even fucking lightheartedly make emoji eyes at the language we use for our identity today being used decades ago without people being like “well actually, biphobe”. like, y’all can apply the bi label to historical figures who never used it and some who didn’t have access to it and it’s all fucking roses, but i can’t jokingly be like “hey pansexual” when i see attraction described with wording pan people often use or is similar to it? come the fuck on.

and it’s like.........i fucking i know. i know he wasn’t talking about pansexuality. i know his view of sexuality is not how we view it today, or even how most people viewed it the time the book was written. it literally wasn’t any deeper than “hey this person said not gay or straight or bi but not defined by gender and that rings a bell for me as a pan person”. that’s literally all the post was.

it had nothing to do with any greater statements he was making or how he was conceptualizing sexuality or bisexuality specifically, which is why i omitted parts of the quote, blatantly indicated by the ellipsis i used. so they can fuck off with claiming i was dishonest, like i was trying to trick people by sneakily leaving stuff out. if i wanted to trick people, i wouldn’t have added the ellipsis, i wouldn’t have added the source, and i wouldn’t have literally said i’m not applying pansexuality to the quote or those the quote was about and that it was literally just about that one phrase.

like...........talk about purposely trying to portray me as a malicious biphobe to your following of panphobes (idk how many followers they have on tumblr but they have 10k+ subscribers on youtube so) because it’s easy and makes you seem justified in your panphobia.

i know they read my tags because they mention them in their post, so it’s interesting how they ignored the part where i said people should feel free to send me a message me with their thoughts. i mean, why bother having a conversation with another human being and expressing your opinion or concerns to them in a way that opens a dialogue and furthers understanding among us,

when you can just assume bad faith in order to make a call out post (i was originally gonna say indirect, but they added my url in their tags, so) to falsely use someone as an example of biphobic pan people to your followers who already believe pan people are biphobes on your blog where the only pan related posts are about problematic pan people/definitions/etc. furthering the idea that that is all there is to pan/pan people?

panphobes are entirely predictable and beyond fucking pathetic. my final thought on this is: i think the assumption of bad faith and purposeful projection of biphobia onto me to further the narrative against pan people is “dishonest and misleading to the hundreds of rebloggers”.

[backslashdelta]

1 Day of Glee Blogs: kurthummeldeservesbetter

Every time @kurthummeldeservesbetter hosts a Glee Blog Awards (and I say every time because it has happened more than once now), I want to nominate her, but she won’t let me.

Enough is enough.

Alex, you deserve an award. For all the work you’ve put in to making our little corner of the internet a better, more fun, more positive place to be. You do so much for our fandom and it just feels wrong for all of that hard work to go unrecognized, especially when you do so much to recognize the hard work other people put in.

So, we’ve decided to not let it go unrecognized.

I took a page from your book and figured that the best way to do this would be to ask other people to say things so that I have to say less things. So I reached out to everyone who received a nomination for the 25 Days of Glee Blogs, told them my idea, and asked them if they had anything they’d like to say to you. Several people told me they were thinking about doing this exact same thing, so I guess I’m just lucky that I got around to sending out the messages first. And, of course, lots of people had some lovely things to say (and show!) you! So, without further ado, let’s get on with it.

@coffeeorderwrites: “The glee blog awards were such a sweet and wonderful idea and I was personally so grateful to be able to put some positivity out into the world through doing these nominations. It's also clear a huge amount of effort went into the posts from the individual banners to the personalized recommendations. Thank you so much for doing this! Also I just want to add I thoroughly enjoy your head cannons and very much enjoy having you on my dash 😊”

@20xbetterthanu: “Hi Alex! You’re fucking amazing for doing this for everyone—you’re amazing in general, your head cannons are on point and your love for Kurt hummel is superior and I just wanted to say thank you! Ily—Ally”

@katimanki: “I want to nominate the oh so wonderful @kurthummeldeservesbetter for every blog award there is and has been. Because of all her weirdly specific headcanons that are (too often lol) 100% accurate. And the stupidest shit posts that are absolute gold (the glee-books, Should-I-drink-all-this-coffee-??-!) I admire her motivation and ability to produce daily quality content.💕 All the effort she puts into everything she puts out is simply astounding. She literally did two blog awards this fall, all by herself, completely unprompted and selflessly. She did all that for other people in the fandom and never asked for anything back. I can't be anything but grateful and amazed (and a little jealous of her commitment abilities haha)!! And look at her go again! Just over a week since 25 days of blogs and she already has a new event ready to go! 💖”

@lallagoglee:

@esperantoauthor: 

@spaceorphan18: “I'm glad that they're supporting blogs in a positive way, and not limiting who they're showcasing. I think it's great that fandom can be inclusive and welcoming, and I hope others follower her trend of supporting others within the fandom. :)”

@crissmastrees-and-candyklaines: “I think Alex is such a great person to be constantly putting on things like this. It take a truly wonderful soul to constantly spread gratitude and appreciation for others! Thank you Alex for being so awesome 💞”

@crayonstoperfume: “i love that she brings so much positivity to the fandom! every time i see her on my dash she’s lifting up her friends, celebrating content creators, or just coming up with something amazingly creative and funny!!”

@personalgarbagepile: “Dear Alex, I would like to thank you for all the stuff you have done and all the things you are planning in the future. I’m not sure what the new project is exactly but I will be participating whenever it starts. I love all the writing content you provide as well as all the posts you make in appreciation for the fans. They’re really sweet. Finally, I hope that one day you achieve your dream of moving up north, both because it’s great up here and because living in Florida is utterly unrelatable.”

@kuiinncedes: “amazing blog overall - iconic url, lovely, funny person, her blog awards spread so much positivity and love and it’s so sweet for her to organize them! and her headcanons are so awesome, i always love reading them so much!!! a greatly appreciated part of this fandom :))”

@gleeincorrectquotes: “I don’t know her very well, but she seems really nice, her headcannons are always so spot on and hilarious, and her idea for the glee awards was so sweet :)“

@snarkyhag: “Big thanks to kurthummeldeservesbetter for running the 25 Days of Glee blogs. It's cool to find new people to follow and to see my friends celebrated for the awesome they are. Not sure how his pun machine made it into the group but I am honored.”

@heartsmadeofbooks:  "I've never actually talked to Alex, but that doesn't mean I don't know what a sweet person she is. She takes the time to make Awards and the 25 days of Blogs to brighten everyone else's day despite really not having to go to all that trouble. Her headcanons are amazing and the reason I started to follow her in the first place, and I look forward to more of them in the future. If this were another edition of her awards, she would win "Kindest and Most Generous Person in the Fandom" award :) Sending you much love and gratitude, Alex! ♥"

@black-john-lennon: “I’d like to say Thank you for keeping the fandom alive and spreading positivity.“

@soonbuilt: 

@proudly-so: “Just wanted to say thank you for everything you do for the Glee fandom. It is nice to see someone taking so much time to put together well thought out activities for others to enjoy, especially during such a tough year. Thank you for all that you do!!”

@justgleekout: “She is such an incredible addition to the fandom! With her awards she really creates such a nice community feeling. The way she always thinks of others is absolutely wonderful. Her hcs always make me giggle and she is just a pleasure to see on your dash really!!“

@hippohead: “The amount of time and effort that Alex has put into the 25 Days of Blogs is incredible and so selfless - it wasn't to get anything out of it, it was to create a space for the klaine community to celebrate each other and the things we make and share. I think that's wonderful. A big thank you to Alex for their organizational skills, for doing the event and spreading so much love and support! I hope they know how much we appreciate it and them 💞”

@byebyeblainey: "Alex!!!! Thank you so much for not only hosting the 25 days of glee blogs event, but for also being such a wonderful, kind, lovely person!! we haven't talked much but honestly ur vibes are IMPECCABLE and i'm so glad that u joined glee tumblr!! u light up my dashboard and i'm so happy to call u my mutual! <3"

And finally, I couldn’t end this post without a chart, so I’ve done some thorough research and put togehter the following incredibly precise and accurate graph.

You can see by that red trendline that things are only going up from here! And I wasn’t kidding about the research by the way.

Sources: [1], [2], [3a], [3b], [3c], [4], [5], [6], [7], [8], [9], [10], [11], [12]

Anyway, Alex, I hope you know how much we all love and appreciate you! You bring so much to the fandom, and we’re all so grateful for the time and effort you put in. Thank you so much for bringing some brightness and positivity to our dashes, and I hope that we’ve been able to bring some more joy (or perhaps even some glee) to yours.

[longroadstonowhere]

okay so here’s the thing @catdotjpeg tagged me in within the last month, maybe even the last week! that would be an exciting change, me actually responding to one of these that fast, haha

why did you choose your url— it was the name of my livejournal account, and when i made my livejournal i figured i should have some kinda artsy sounding name? that’s what livejournal was about, right? and longroadstonowhere felt appropriately artsy and relevant to how i live my life, haha

any sideblogs?—...... okay technically i have exactly one sideblog, but i have literally done nothing with it and i don’t think i’ll have the motivation to do anything with it at any point, so it functionally doesn’t exist

how long have you been on tumblr— christmas eve 2010

why did you originally start your blog— my high school friends were all on tumblr and after a year and a half at college, i was feeling out of touch with them, and then i got tired of individually checking their blog pages so i decided to get a tumblr myself so i could just see them all on the dashboard

why did you choose your icon— this renamon sprite has been and will continue to be my user icon on like every website ever

why did you choose your header— ..... okay so i was making my tumblr, and i was going through choosing stuff, and then i was like ‘i’m tired of choosing things’ and the header was ‘untitled’ by default and i was like you know what? that feels right, that feels artsy, we’ll keep it for now, and now i have a weird element of ego about never changing it (also i went looking for the weird element of ego post but a quick blog search didn’t turn it up)

what’s your post with the most notes— i have no idea how to easily figure this out, i’m gonna guess it’s the one that was functionally about this dude in college who mixed up our dorm room with someone else’s room, thought we were having a party, and just kinda hung out for five minutes while we were playing dnd (the actual post is an amusing play on the two different kinds of party, you see)

how many mutuals do you have— .................. is there like a systematic way to check that? i’ll say i know like fifteen (ish, very very ish) people who are mutuals and active and such, but man that is very much not how i think of things to be honest, haha

how many followers do you have— 711, apparently - i know most of them are real because i block the bots as soon as i see them, but i’m sure the vast majority of those are inactive folks

how many blogs do you follow— 135, the vast majority of which are dead comic or story blogs that i follow in eternal hope

have you ever made a shitpost— i mean what even is a shitpost, you know? i’ve definitely said a lotta shit but nothing that got super popular, if that’s even an important metric of shitposting

how many times do you use tumblr a day—it’s not even a ‘times per day’ kinda thing, because i constantly have a tumblr tab on my computer and i have it up on my phone now too (since my phone can actually handle tumblr at this point), and i even warn folks when i know i’m gonna be gone for a few days, haha

have you ever fought another blog— my dude, my guy, my friend..........i don’t fight a goddamn thing in my life, let alone some rando on the internet

how do you feel about “need to reblog” posts— not a fan, really - i’ll reblog info that seems potentially useful to folks, i’ll pass anything i’m not in a headspace to comprehend when i come across it

do you like tag games— yeah, they’re fun, but i do take like six months to respond to them sometimes, haha

do you like ask games— yeah but i don’t reblog them because i got it into my head a while back that i shouldn’t reblog an ask game from someone without asking them questions, which is a good sentiment but spoons are limited so i don’t end up doing either

which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous— uh...... probably none of them? like i know a few mutuals are more widely known in particular fandoms, but none of them are on the level of, like, prokopetz or usernames like that where it’s like ‘oh, i’ve seen like twenty posts with this user’s name, yeah i don’t even have to follow them to get what they’re about’

do you have a crush on a mutual— that sounds like way too much effort honestly

tags— ...... look i just tagged some folks for a different thing and i’m overthinking it in regards to this one so i’ll just leave this bit alone (the overthinking is like ‘should i tag some of the same folks i tagged in the other post? or should it be all new folks? i definitely shouldn’t tag all the same people as the other post, or at least not just all the same people, but who else should i tag then?’ and that’s about where i decide this isn’t worth the brain power, haha)

[dulce-pjm]

30 Questions Tag Game

tagged by @softbobamilktae​ my beloved <3333333

name/nickname: call me naomi !! 

star sign: capricorn

height: 5′8″ (and getting closer to chim every day muhaha)

birthday: january 15!

favorite band: ummm bts, txt, twice, every day lol (and like any musical theatre cast ever lol)

time: 8:35 pm 

favorite solo artist: taeyeon, baekhyun, agust d, jhope, rm 

song stuck in your head: signal by twice :))

last movie you watched: the princess diaries !! iconic

free space!: hmmmm i’m giving you a big hug can you feel it !!!!

last show: the great british bake off (paul f*cking hollywood i hate him but i love the show)

when i created this blog: february 2021 (i think?)

what i post: bts fics and weird not quite shitposts?

last thing i googled: huening kai side profile (i was texting a friend it was relevant uh yeah)

other blogs: @naomis-library​ for fic recs !

do i get asks?: sometimes!! and i treasure every single one you guys make my day <3

why i chose my url?: @kidcoredreamz came up with it !! i explained a bit in this tag game

following: 43 blogs :)

followers: more than i deserve !!!

average hours of sleep: um like  5-7? but then i’ll make up for it once a week and sleep like 10 hours lol

lucky number: hmm 7, 10, 15

what am i wearing?: a hoodie and pajama shorts lol (i was dressed cute earlier though haha)

dream job: oh gosh i don’t know still figuring that out lol

favorite food: just one ????? probably my grandma’s cavatelli (alternatively cold pad thai i don’t know i don’t know)

tea or coffee: oh my gosh don’t make me choose >.< i guess tea bc it won’t give me the jitters?

nationality: american 

favorite song: seesaw !!!

top three fictional universes i would like to live in: ugh okay before i decide this is so annoying bc to me my motivation is more the characters and friendships and relationships but i feel like this has to purely like the universe itself so i’m gonna do that and probably explain why for each lol (but also all the worlds seem so scary if you aren’t connected right ahhh !!)

1. harry potter obvs i have always wanted to be a wandmaker !!! i have a fic in the works (she says, having like a bajillion wips and ideas lol) kinda about that but i just think it’s such a cool career and it sounds so rewarding !!! i also just love kids and helping people so i think i’d love it someone pls hire me as a wandmaker 

2. the mcu i guess ??? but i’d spend most of my time wandering nyc looking for a radioactive spider LOL having superpowers is the actual fun part (idk if i wanna be an avenger though that’s a lot of responsibility !!! i like the friendly neighborhood role a lot more i’ll take over for peter parker lol)

3. steven universe !!!! i really hope i could be involved with the gems but like even if not the whole show makes every scene and landscape and location look so gorgeous !!!! i’d love to explore that world if i could, but i’d also be just as content to hang with sadie at the donut shop <3 (but i’d very much like to move in with lapis and peridot at the farm LOL)

okay i went way too in depth with the last question but it was important and my answers would be different if i could like choose my life and friends and stuff haha (i ramble a bit more in the tags lol)

anyway~~~ i’ll tag @hyungieyoongi (sorry if you’ve done it already) and @kidcoredreamz my love <33

[joshslater]

Five Step Program

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

I stared at the contents of the envelope, a blue jockstrap, and a folded piece of paper. I hadn’t put much hope into this “miracle solution” to becoming a jock without any of the work. Of course there was a catch. “First 20 customers get their first shipment free of charge” was enough for me to fill out the form with my information. It wasn’t anything too revealing. Name, address, height, weight, age. A box where you could write what you hoped to achieve with this revolutionary five step program. That’s what they really were after, I guessed. Having people enter their dreams so that they can tailor their next scam better. I was even surprised I got anything in the mail at all, and now having opened it, it made even more sense.

I could see how sending a jockstrap to someone perhaps fulfills some legal requirement that the recipient could now look like a jock. It could be a way to avoid getting a federal fraud charge. But I hadn’t spent a dime on this, so it didn’t make any sense. The jockstrap looked like any other jockstrap, I guessed. I’d never owned one, nor worn one. The pouch was dark blue and made with two layers of some synthetic mesh material. The big waistband was light blue with the letters JOCK repeated in dark blue around it. There was a faint smell of synthetic material and detergent. I did a mental sigh and opened the folded letter.

Congratulation on becoming one of our first customers on the revolutionizing five step Jock Express program. As a thank you for signing up, this first part is totally free of charge. Should you wish to continue the program, as we are confident you will after having successfully completed the first session, simply use the URL at the bottom of this page to enter your credit card information and we’ll send you the next item as soon as the payment is confirmed. I’m happy to inform you that we can offer a reduced price for the entire program, should you chose to start it within five days. The price is only $100 for the next installment, and progressively higher as you advance in the program. There is no commitment to purchase so you can stop the program at any point. We’re confident you will want to complete all the five steps in the Jock Express program.

Fuck that! What morons sign up to this kind of shit?

Instructions: The Jock Express is the easiest and most user friendly fitness program ever developed. Simply drink a lot of water, put on the items included in each program step, as you normally would, and go to sleep.

I was even more confused. Why would that sway anyone to put out $100 for at best another piece of gym clothing? I put it all in my in-tray on my desk and let it slip from my mind. I had dinner, watched TV, answered some late emails and the usual Tuesday stuff. By bedtime I walked past my home office and had the sudden recollection that I had something waiting in the in-tray. Then I remembered what it was, and almost reluctantly decided to go ahead with wearing the damn thing. I was still convinced it was a scam, but was immensely curious to exactly how it would work. If nothing else I would get to feel what wearing a jockstrap feels like. I drank a glass of water, put on the jockstrap, and went to bed. The jockstrap was as comfortable as anything and I quickly went to sleep.

Apparently I slept through the first alarm, and jolted awake on hearing the more incessant buzz from the phone. I jumped out of bed and it wasn’t until halfway to the bathroom I realized I was naked. I wouldn’t say massive, as in cartoonish in any way, but my dick and balls were noticeably bigger than before. It took a few seconds for my still startled brain to put the pieces together. The jockstrap had disappeared and somehow affected the body. It hadn’t replaced any body parts, I could still recognize my dick, but it was for sure altered. Suddenly $100 felt like way too little money. I didn’t even put any pants on as I typed in the URL from the letter. Jock Express step #2  for $100 and express delivery for another $25. Annoyingly no option to order all four remaining steps as a package. I just wanted to have them all in my house as soon as possible.

By the time I had entered all my details, checked all the boxes, and clicked the final webshop button I was rocking a massive hard-on. The biggest one in my life so far, by far. I didn’t care right then if I would come late or call in sick, I just knew that I had to take my pre-cum leaking enhancement for a test drive, and slowly started to move my hand up and down the shaft. It felt better than ever, and lasted longer than I have ever before. I’m not really sure how long, because I zoned out a bit while wanking, and then exploded with an epic load of cum. I managed to tilt the chair back and catch it all on my body, but then I felt really spent and dozed off, only to be brought back with a text message from my boss. Sick day it is, I decided.

A more apt description would be a lewd day. I just cycled between laptop porn, wanking and showers, and combinations thereof. I loved the difference it made when wearing underwear. Even when flaccid you could tell here was action waiting, not just only wearing underwear, but while wearing jeans too. I took photos so I had progress photos to compare with.

The next day was a strange one. I worked all day in the glow of someone with confidence, as if somehow I had done some achievement. I kind of surprised myself with how much of a difference it made when dealing with the pileup of emails from yesterday. Big dick energy. I could make decisions so much faster than I was used to. I don’t know if I really had more confidence, or just didn’t care as much. I was for sure giddy with anticipation of what was yet to come by overnight delivery. I forced myself to stay until official end of office hours and then bolted and drove straight home.

Thank God there was a DHL box in my mailbox, or I don’t know what I would have done. I opened it on my way in, and it’s contents were similar to the first one. A folded letter and some folded cloth. Without opening the letter I unfolded the cloth, which turned out to be a plain, sleeveless, white cotton T-shirt. Had there been someone to high five, I would have done so. I’m not fat, but there is a bit of flabbiness I would love to get rid of, so I couldn’t wait for this part. I felt anticipation in my stomach and something else in my pants. I hadn’t had a wank since this morning.

Evening couldn’t come soon enough. The letter said basically the same as the last one. A new URL for the $400 Jock Express #3, which I immediately ordered, again with overnight shipping. Not really sure what to kill time with, I figured a jock would watch sport, so I just randomly put some football on. I hadn’t really paid any attention to sports before, so I wasn’t sure about who was who, what the series looked like, or really what happened on the field besides the obvious. I ended up masturbating to the football, which in my opinion made it better. By 9:30 I decided to drink a few glasses of water, strip, put on the sleeveless T-shirt, and go to bed. I tossed and turned in anticipation for quite a while. The T-shirt had a very loose fit, and the big holes for the arms made it even more mobile, though it was anchored by the crew neck. Finally at some point I managed to fall asleep.

I woke up before the alarm. It was dark enough that I knew I hadn’t slept through them all. Instead of getting up or turning on the light, I just slowly moved my hand to my chest under the sheet. My chest was about the same size, but felt firmer, I imagined. But more importantly I was naked and the shirt was gone. I moved my hand down and couldn’t contain my joy when I started to feel the faint square of abs. I jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom to have a look in the mirror. The effect was better than I thought from just touch. My torso not only looked fit as a model, with abs and V and all, but younger and with better skin. Perhaps an illusion, but it almost looked like my dick was bigger as well.

Having woken up early, after a wank and a shower, I was one of the first in at the office and quickly got ahead on my tasks for the day. I still had the anticipation I felt yesterday, but today it was more like I knew what to expect. It wasn’t just a one-off or a fluke, this was legit and it was happening. As I started early I decided to flex out early and rush back home. I spent the drive home fantasizing about different types of clothing. I was kind of wishing for those sleeves they use in basket, to amp up my arms, but there might be some scientific reason why they changed the body parts in a specific order. Who was I kidding? This wasn’t science. This was magic.

I ripped open the familiar package as soon as I was inside the front door. This time it was white under armour legging of some sort, ending just below the knees. I was considering strip down fully naked and put on the leggings right then and there, and wear them until it was time to go to bed, but decided against it. Even though the descriptions were vague and didn’t really say you couldn’t do that, I didn’t want to risk fucking up the process. Instead I found some underwear in the same color as the jockstrap and took a pair of scissors to an old white T-shirt to make it look like the one I put on yesterday. Then I put on those, and nothing but, and sat myself in front of the TV, determined to actually try to follow the game this time, whichever game I happened to see.

It might be I imagined it, perhaps because I’ve never really seen myself in a sleeveless T-shirt before, but it looked to me like my arms were a bit more defined than yesterday. I realized that I had just assumed only the parts under the clothes are affected, but that’s just something I made up. It could be that it just primarily acts under the clothes, or perhaps it was just a coincidence and the clothes really could change anything. In the end I let it go. It didn’t matter, I couldn’t prove it either way, and I couldn’t watch a game, have deep thoughts and masturbate all at the same time anyway. I was so into it I almost forgot to order the next package. A steep $1000 for whatever the next item was, but so far it was fucking worth it.

I really liked how I looked in the 3/4 leggings or whatever the fuck they are called. Just imagining how much better I would look the morning after made me go to bed with a big boner, despite being thoroughly wanked. I tried to calm myself by thinking of the last game I watched, and not give Jock Express a thought, and it kind of worked. I know I fell asleep pretty quickly and dreamt of football until the alarm woke me up.

“Fuck yeah!” was the first I could think when I saw myself. The thighs were about as large as before, but the line going down them made it obvious they were muscles and not jiggle matter. It even felt different just standing. I’m almost positive my dick had grown even more. Who the hell wouldn’t dish out $400 or whatever for this shit?

While the day started great it quickly became frustrating with all the corporate bullshit. I knew how to do my job. There were just so many fucking rules in the way of doing it in the best way. Perhaps the anticipation of the second to last package made me be in a bad mood. Whatever. I bolted as soon as I could, cranked up the volume in the car, trying to not think of anything until I got home. I almost punched something when I opened the mailbox and didn’t find an envelope. Instead it was just a note about DHL attempted to deliver while I wasn’t home. I could either call them to deliver tomorrow or drive to a pickup point. Like fuck I would wait another full fucking day.

I was furious when I got back into the car, blasting music as loud as I could, but I quickly calmed down. Perhaps this was a good thing? It might be a box with shoulder pads from football or hockey or lacrosse or whatever the fuck else looks hot. You know what else is hot? Michael at the DHL pickup point. I mean, I’m not homo or anything, I’m just saying he was a good looking dude.

The packet he gave me was a bit disappointing though. No way it could contain anything as large as shoulder pads. I didn’t want to fuck with my mojo, so I kept the same routine as before and didn’t open it until back home. Fucking cleats and socks. Another fucking leg day. And they smelled bad too, like distilled vinegar or some shit. As I entered the URL from the letter on my phone I got two more shocks. The price of the last package was ten thousand fucking dollars! And even worse, the delivery wouldn’t arrive until Monday. Two fucking days away. “This is bullshit” I shouted at nobody and threw the empty cardboard box into the wall to no damage to either.

I was still furious and went straight to the fridge, pulled out a cold can of beer, opened it, and downed half of it. It felt better, but I was still upset on the world in general. I looked at the phone screen again. $10k is a fuckton of money. There wasn’t a rush to buy it right now either, if they didn’t do overnight delivery during weekends. I emptied the can and crushed it against the countertop. It hurt my hand, which just added to my anger for being such a weakling. I pulled the rest of the six-pack out of the fridge and threw it in the living room couch on my way to the bedroom. I needed to get out of these stuffy office clothes and cool down with a cold one, or four.

I ripped off the tie and started to unbutton the shirt on my way into the bedroom, and once there opened the door to my wardrobe. I felt like a girl, not knowing what to wear. I hated everything my eyes fell on, and I hated feeling like that. I bunched the shirt into a ball and threw it into a corner, together with the tie. I climbed out of the pants as quickly as I could and threw them there as well. Then I stopped myself.

Everything I saw I really liked, I realized. The pecs, the abs, the thighs, and the generous bulge in the boxer briefs.I yanked off my socks and more deliberately lowered my boxers to let the dick and balls loose. I knew what I wanted from this junk selection of clothes, and opened a drawer with my athletic clothes and pulled out a pair of grey sweatpants. It was Friday and my dick and balls deserved some freedom, I thought, as I put on the sweats without any underwear. I picked up the sleeveless T-shirt from the floor by the bed and put that on as well. I felt so much better. A few beers, whatever game was on, and some more wanking, and perhaps this could turn into a good evening after all.

After two more beers, cum stains on sweatpants, T-shirt and the couch, and fuck knows how many games I zapped through I couldn’t wait any longer. Whatever bullshit the cleats and sock did, the sooner it was over with, the sooner I could move on with the final package. $10k was still a lot, but if I sold all shares I could buy it, keeping both house and car.

The socks went almost up to the knees, but weren’t any real soccer socks or anything like that. The looked more like something someone might have to the gym, or something a skater would wear. Skater was perhaps right, because they smelled like that vinegary acidic smell of really sweaty skater shoes. The socks were white with a wide black band around it near the top, and were a bit off-white on contact surfaces around the foot, as if they had been used in black shoes by someone. As if I would fucking care. I pulled up both legs of the sweats over the knees and put on both socks, pulling them as high as possible. The cleats were black and a bit banged up, but fit perfectly on my feet. I didn’t even remember having given out my shoe size. I was unsure how tight to tie them, so I went with comfortable without being loose.

It felt weird walking with them, like the shoes were pushing your forward. Not at all like my much flatter leather shoes. Somehow my test walking ended up by the fridge, so I grabbed another six-pack and returned to the couch for some more ESPN or whatever.

I had no idea what sport it was on the screen, but glancing out the window I could see that it wasn’t evening anymore. I must have fallen asleep, I realized, but I felt way better than I ought to, given the pile of crushed beer cans around me. I walked to the toilet to have a piss, and it wasn’t until I lowered the front of my sweatpants to grab my morning semi-stiff snake I realized I was barefoot. I was pissing for probably a good minute, aiming down with one hand. Holy fuck so much I’ve kept in while sleeping. I was pretty sure I had cleats and socks on when I fell asleep. I did a few bounces on the balls of the feet. It felt fucking great, and shook loose the last drops of piss from my dick. I dropped it back into the sweatpants, and broke into a smile from how fucking huge of a tent it made, despite being just a semi. I did a few more jumps, looking at how the flagpole in my front swung up and down. I really didn’t deserve to feel this great after yesterday, but I’d fucking take it. I felt so full of energy I felt I could do anything. I wanted to run just to see how it would feel.

I dashed into my bedroom and emptied the rest of the athletic clothes drawer on the floor. Some T-shirts, a pair of basket shorts, white socks and wiped down indoor and outdoor shoes. All of it was underwhelming, outright disappointing. And why the fuck did I keep the shoes here and not by the door? I grabbed the outdoor shoes and without bothering with socks started to mash my foot into it. It was clearly at least one size too small, perhaps several. Who the fucks know how shoe sizes work. I threw both shoes into the wall above my pile of office clothes. Fucking hell. Why do all days start out great and then go downhill so fast, I wondered.

I grabbed a pair of flip flops, the car keys, and pulled the credit card out of the wallet and walked out to the car. The car stereo startled me when I turned the ignition key, as it blared out some hip hop at max volume. I reached to turn it down, but changed my mind. It felt like my mood, as I was driving to my closest mall almost below speed limit. There wasn’t much traffic out anyway on a Saturday morning. As I turned into the almost empty parking lot in front of the mall I realized the fucking God damn shit mall would open for another 40-something fucking minutes. I wished I could turn up the music louder.

As I looked down on the cum stains on my shirt and tenting sweats I decided why the fuck not, and started to beat off in sync with the music.

40-something fucking minutes later I entered the sporting goods store in the mall. Johnson’s or Dick’s or Willy’s or whatever, I don’t care. I picked up some proper compression clothes, like the leggings I had earlier with a matching top. I got myself some outdoor Nike’s, a few proper tanks, some jocks, boxer shorts and socks, new flip flops, and a snapback cap. On the way to the cashier I decided to pick up a wooden baseball bat and a regulation size football as well. Back in the car I ripped off all the stickers and shit and put on something I could run in. The sneakers, jockstrap and shorts, a tank top, and the snapback. I left the car and just ran.

It was a revelation. The first time I tasted ice cream or coca cola, or the first time I discovered I could do something else with my dick besides peeing and hitting it too hard. I felt like a good damn terminator. Like as long as I kept the pace below sprinting I could run for hours. Trickles of sweat running down my face, my arms, my back, wetting the fabric of my clothes where it could, cooling the skin with the breeze my motion generated where it couldn’t. I have no fucking idea how long I actually run. When I finally ended up back in the car I was steaming and real fucking hungry.

I felt like a shower was in order, but I was too hungry to do that first. I went by Five Guys and had a bacon cheeseburger with fries and a peanut butter milkshake. As I started eating I realized I wasn’t anywhere near tired. It was probably enough running for today, but I wanted to do more. Halfway through the meal I decided I would visit the gym we had a company membership at. I had only been there a few times since the introduction walkthrough. I wasn’t even sure I had the card in my wallet anymore, or if it was in the bowl of stuff in the kitchen.

I made a quick stop at home, unloaded my car, found the card, and set off to the Pacific Wellness Center. The dude in the lobby had a pissy attitude and asked me if I was wearing indoor shoes. I asked him what they looked like, and he let me in. Such a shame, because he was kind of good looking.

Inside the gym the results were mixed. Squats, lunges, planking, and abductor machine all went excellent. It was fun, even. But everything involving arms went miserably. I could only lift a pathetic load, and after a few reps I would be tired. I even embarrassed myself in front of two massive gym buddies. One of them had amazing arms. You could see how strong they were even when he wasn’t lifting, but fuck me what beautiful ‘ceps when loaded. And tanned too. It was lucky I had the jockstrap on, because that body was smoking hot.

I could only stand a few more failures after that and then sped back home, still with hip hop at max, in a mix of emotions. I got naked on the way to the bathroom, and there I spent perhaps an hour in the shower, getting the grime and sweat off me, and wanking twice, thinking of the arms of the hot dude. As I dried myself on a towel I knew I had to buy the last package. Ten fucking thousand fucking dollars. I had to use the laptop to access my bank, and once I had put in the sell order for my stock portfolio I saw the pornhub tabs I hadn’t looked at since Wednesday.

The big-busted bimbos I had wanked my way through the Wednesday suddenly didn’t seem as interesting. I clicked around a bit until I found a muscle stud fucking a Latino girl. How quickly the taste can change, but except for pathetic arms, I’m was now the muscle stud. I quickly entered the URL from the Jock Express #4 box and ordered the last package. The delivery date was still Monday, so come Tuesday the muscle stud would be me. Only one fucking week.

Since I was out of beer I threw on my old shorts and a T-shirt, and had a walk to my nearest convenience store and bought one six-pack for each hand. I was feeling a bit stiff from the training, but it was much better than it ought to be.

As I opened the door back at home the warm smell of gym clothes, sweat, and feet hit me. I did the responsible thing and threw everything in the washing machine, opened a beer, and started to watch whatever was on.

Sunday was just a boring-ass filler day. I woke up at a decent time, had a long run. I passed through the park, but didn’t engage with any of the groups playing football or beach volley there. I could wait two more days to get my arms sorted. I did some cleaning up and domestic shit back home. Then I went to the gym again, but this time I pretended it was leg day, so I didn’t have to embarrass myself. After dinner I had an evening jog as well, and only had a few beers before bedtime.

Same thing on Monday. Woke up pretty early and went for a long run. When I was almost back home I got a text message from my boss, saying we needed to talk about my performance over the last few days. My answer “Suck my balls” probably summed up the conversation much better than any in-person meeting. I found that the best way to find porn with muscle studs in them was to search in the gay section. Just because you like to watch big arms and strong backs doesn’t make you homo. I jacked off to the videos until it was time to eat lunch. By 2 pm I was climbing on the fucking walls in anticipation, and every minute felt like too long. Perhaps it wouldn’t arrive today at all? I heard the mailman at 2:18 and rushed out wearing only shorts and snapback.

The mailbox was stuffed full with a big, soft envelope. I tore it open on my way back inside, kicked the door shut, and emptied the contents on my kitchen table. A big black something fell out, as well as something small that rattled across the table. Ignoring the letters, as usual, I unfolded the cloth. It was a big, black hoodie in sweatshirt material, with the print “STRONG” on the front. Finally arms! I picked up the small plastic box that almost fell off the table and opened it. It contained some sort of advanced mouthguard mad in blue, white, and transparent plastic of different hardness and flex. The kind that football players use.

Not knowing what to do next, I went to the gym and spent a few hours just randomly doing low weight, high rep stuff. I was trying to catch a glimpse of everyone else who worked out to see what their arms and legs looked like. Once I felt it was too obvious I wasn’t doing anything serious I drove home, but instead of going inside I started to walk and walked for hours just looking. It felt good just to be in motion. I didn’t return back until the sun started to set, and it was almost fully dark when I walked through the door.

I decided to just go ahead with the last piece of transformation. I stepped out of my sneakers and pulled off my damp socks. It didn’t smell of strawberries. I pulled off the T-shirt and stepped out of the basket shorts, but kept the compression shorts on. I grabbed the hoodie from the table and put it over my head. Perhaps it was me, but it smelled of musky sweat inside while I put it on. I poured myself a big glass of water and downed it.

I walked with the small plastic box to the bathroom and had a look in the mirror. I didn’t really look that different. The big hoodie hid my newly athletic front. The legs and feet looked strong, but who ever notices that? My big bulge in the compression pants was however a change from the past week that couldn’t easily be hidden. I opened the box and put the mouthguard into my mouth. It fit snugly and didn’t change my appearance much either. Not knowing what to do with the hoodie I put it up over my head and pulled it tighter with the drawstrings so all but my face was gone. Then I turned off all the lights and went to bed.

It was still dark when I woke up. Instantly I knew it had worked, because I couldn’t feel the mouthguard in my mouth, though it felt different. As if the ghost of the mouthguard was still there, prying my mouth open. I felt some sort of pressure on my head, as if I was wearing a hat or a beanie or something. I was about to feel my head when I realized moving my arm felt different. Not wanting to fuck around any longer I went straight to the bathroom again to have a look in the mirror. I stared at my reflection with open mouth. The difference was breathtaking.

First of all I wasn’t wearing any top, so my abs and pecs were on full display, but they were also bigger than before. Everything was bigger. My shoulders were much bigger, my entire upper body looked wider than before, and everything about the arms were huge. My face was still my face, but there were lots of small changes. “Fucking dope” I said with a much deeper voice than what I had before. I smiled a smirk and flexed the arms in different poses. I couldn't wait to show up at the gym doing an arm day. I just needed to have another shower. My dick needed service, and I felt sluggish, as if I hadn't really wakened up yet.

[silverislander]

tag me

rules: answer these 30 questions and then tag 20 people you'd like to get to know better.

tagged by: @onthestupidtrain  @unadulteratedcolorkid @dissonantdreamer and @souncivilized17 !!  thanks yall :D

name/nickname: lee

gender: uhhhhhhhh,, at this point your guess is as good as mine my guy.  probably nonbinary, definitely lesbian??...  girl but to the left??  gender is a lie made up by the government to sell more bathrooms and it does not spark joy for me, but at least it gave us women

star sign: sagittarius

height: 5'5.5"

time: is a lie made up by the government to sell more clocks

birthday: dec 11

favorite bands: mcr, rise against, mother mother, paramore, against me!, the oh hellos

favorite solo artists: sleeping at last, hozier, palehound, phoebe bridgers

song stuck in my head: graceland too by phoebe bridgers!  i want to see if i can learn it on guitar- it even has my favourite guitar chord in it :D

last movie i watched: the thing (1982) with my good good dnd bros saturday night!  it was pretty fun, and the gore was v good a+, we love some practical effects in this house

last show: burden of truth- my family is watching it together

when did i create this blog: uhhh june 2019 i think??  it was def june

what i post: it’s like 95% tlou (esp part 2/ellie and dina my beloveds), but also the locked tomb series, memes/jokes, horror movies, trying to figure out my Brain Issues(tm), gay shit and whatever else i’m into for the week lol

other blogs: none!  all my bullshit stays right here baybee

last thing i googled: “figured bass inversions”... i have music theory hw to do and i suck at remembering figured bass :/

do i get asks: only when i rb games usually, but i’ve gotten a few abt my writing too which is always cool :D

why i chose my url: so i have this history of winning second place in competitions and stuff?  if i place, it’s almost always second, so that’s where the silver part comes from.  plus i am an islander :)

following: 472

followers: 300!!  thanks gang :’)

average hours of sleep: 6-7 hrs

lucky number: 13 and 7

instruments: piano, guitar, ukulele, trumpet/cornet and i am currently a voice major.  basically my whole life is music lmao

what am i wearing: denim shirt w the sleeves rolled up, jeans, socks and my key necklace.  i’m at home but i had to look nice for a recording lol, plus i just like this shirt :)

dream trip: ooo idk!  i’d probably want to go somewhere really different and learn abt the history and culture, maybe try some local food.  the problem is i’d have to be super careful to stay safe while travelling some foreign countries bc i’m visibly gay/gnc... i did a project on morocco in hs and i would have loved to go someday until i found out i’m illegal there 🤠

favorite food: burgers mmm

nationality: canadian!

last book i read: the city we became by n. k. jemisin.  it’s absolutely amazing and i am SO close to finishing it that it’s KILLING ME but i have so much schoolwork (and executive dysfunction) lately,, how to pause the entire world to read for several hours please :’(

top 3 fictional worlds I'd like to live in: most of the stories i like are either in the normal world or Not worlds i’d actually want to live in, oof.  as much as i’d love to hang out in jackson with ellie, dina and the gang (and i would LOVE to,, universe let me meet my fav characters and have a hug w them :( ), the ensuing trauma and near-certain death... idk if that's really worth it lol.  probably (in no order) camp half blood from pjo, infinity train maybe and uhhh... probably our dnd campaign in phandalin bc i would Love to be a bard.  performing/music, charisma score that isn’t less than 0 AND cool powers?  hell yeah, where do i sign

favorite color: never can decide if it’s blue or green tbh

tagging: @angelknive @schwulchen @sadgirlindiemusic @yourcandleonthewater @primaryass only if you want ofc!  no pressure 💛