#when marina talks about herself daphne sees that in herself too

[provokedgoalie]

Marina & Daphne's situations are so intertwined it's like looking into a mirror

[jimblejamblewritings]

love letters and second sons | part 4.

Summary: The princess is finally ready to debut in society. But before she does, she decides to disguise herself and see the true faces of the ton.

Warnings for the Series: light sexism in line with the times, light classism in line with the times, mental health stigma, shitty doctor care, smut, suicide attempt (will get it's own warning when the time comes)

Warnings for this part: smut

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x princess!reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Previous Part | Series Masterlist

The cloak wrapped around you felt like velvet. The softness between your fingers calmed you down significantly. Reynolds grabbed your hand after the fifth time you balled it up in your skirts. You looked up to see your three valets trying to hide the concern on their faces. You could have an incident or get caught or both. None of those three options were ideal or even good. 

“Do I look decent?” you asked as the carriage got closer and closer to the party. 

“You look perfect.” 

“Maybe I shouldn’t wear the mask?” 

“You don’t have to but keep it on you.” 

You agreed, exiting the carriage with a letter from the princess version of you — complete with a wax seal — that was basically a pass to enter any establishment no matter what. Spotting Penelope and Colin out of the corner of your eye, you breathed out a sigh of relief and ran over to them. Both of them wore wide smiles at your surprise arrival. They had been expecting a letter or something to signal your arrival back from Ireland. 

You were sad to hear about Marina not joining you all for this evening. It would have been nice to know her more than a little bit in between the courting of suitors. But there would be more times to meet and catch up later. Plus, hearing your friends’ stories of their daily lives proved to be a good enough distraction. You let them go after a while so Colin could escort Penelope to the dance floor like he promised to do after a run in with Cressida Cowper. 

Looking around, you failed to immediately locate the rest of the Bridgerton children. You grabbed a drink from the lemonade table and began to wander. The alcohol had looked appealing but you had never drank, afraid of the consequences if drink mixed with your illness. Someday you’d try some but not after an episode. Never right after one. 

On the outskirts of the party, still close enough to hear the music, you ran into Benedict. He gave you a smile and the same surprised look on his face as Penelope and Colin. You leaned in closer to hear him over the deafening melodies of the orchestra. Small talk that was mainly about your fictitious trip made up the first half of your conversation. After a while, you grew comfortable with each other as if you never left. 

“The lights are beautiful,” he commented, staring at the small lantern display that a scientist presented. 

You nodded. “We have some at the palace. They add more day by day but it would be nice if all of London, maybe all of the world, had these little lights. How has your art been?” 

“Not terribly well. Nothing seems to be good enough.” 

“Well, what are you drawing?” 

“Still life. I can’t expect my free drawings to be good if I can’t depict what is right in front of me.” 

“You are too hard on yourself, Benedict seriously,” you argued when he scoffed. “Sometimes we have a problem seeing our own greatness. You ju—” 

“Would you ever consider marriage to someone, me, perhaps?” 

You choked on your lemonade. “Pardon?” 

“Apologies.” He finally turned to look at you. “With Daphne out in society, people have started looking at Anthony and because my dear brother does not care to at least pretend to be a proper viscount, they have started to look at me. Ravenous mamas are eyeing me and it must be a matter of time before they talk to me.” 

You laughed. “You still call me Miss Beckett yet you want me to help you through a marriage?” 

“Wait, what is your name, actually? If you are to continue being a friend of the family then I am at liberty to refer to you by first name.” 

“Bergamot. My parents were a bit too keen on gardens. My second name is Sophie.” 

“Bergamot Sophie Beckett. That is a lovely name.” 

“Thank you… I still won’t marry you.”

Benedict scrunched up his face as he bent over to try and plead with you. “Please! I can’t be out here with the wolves.” 

You patted him on the shoulder. “Your whining, no matter how pathetic and cute, will not work. I will see you tomorrow, alright.” 

He muttered something that you didn’t hear while you took off into the gardens for a stroll. You’d have to leave soon, pressing your luck wasn’t the way to go. You put your cloak back on and closed it to hide your dress completely as you finally put your mask on. The gardens at night were very beautiful. Perhaps because you were alone. 

You chuckled at the thought of your interaction with Benedict. Even if it happened only a few moments ago, it was hysterical. It was only funnier because you were sure that when you finally introduced yourself to society, you’d get even stranger proposals. Only they wouldn’t be to avoid hungry mamas. And they wouldn’t be coming from one of your friends. 

Hopefully, they wouldn’t be too upset with you. Hyacinth would never but she was more like a little sister than a friend. Benedict would think the whole situation is funny, hopefully. Daphne might as well. Eloise and Penelope could go either way. Anthony would probably be mad that you let him attempt to woo the princess when you knew the truth which would make Colin and Gregory and Francesca mad at you as well. But maybe it would be fine after you explained everything. 

The sound of voices caught your attention. Spying was wrong but you couldn’t help yourself. You started to walk into the hedges, ignoring the twigs catching everywhere. The view wasn’t the best but you could see well enough. What could be a scandal between Daphne Bridgerton and Nigel Berbrooke seemed to be a very different scene to you because you knew the man from her letters. You tightened the mask around you just in case you needed to leave the bushes. 

Nigel kept coming close to Daphne. You began to run when he grabbed her, thinking of how to protect your friend. You’d have to hit him. That was the only option. There was nothing else you could do about it… You paused as Daphne pulled her hand back. There was Nigel Berbrooke on the ground. After being punched. 

You and Daphne looked up from Nigel to see the Duke of Hastings running into the garden clearing as well. The two of them seemed to realize that you were the princess and you were in the garden with them having witnessed everything. They bowed to you deeply, something you returned. 

“I will survey the area. If I do not return then you two may safely leave the garden.” 

“Thank you, Your Highness.” 

“It is no trouble really. I am so sorry for your distress, Miss Bridgerton, and I do hope your hand feels better in the morning.”  

You did a thorough check of the area to make sure that Daphne wasn’t compromised before fleeing to your carriage before anyone could spot the mask. Assuring your valets nothing went wrong, you closed the carriage door and let it drive back to Kew. 

“Thank you,” you said as you took off your mask and cloak and opened the carriage window since it was night. 

“For what?” 

“For making me go out tonight. I did need it. I feel better, immensely.” 

“That is good. We are glad to hear it. Will you be going out again tomorrow?” 

“Just to the Bridgertons.” 

“Oh, to home then.” 

You rolled your eyes but didn’t argue because they were right. Being at the Bridgertons felt like home more than your own at times. Maybe because your mother and father were the only ones who even tried to be a proper family. But there was no trying with the Bridgertons. They just were family. 

That much was true when you walked into the house a lot later than the early morning to see everyone but Eloise in the drawing room, talking about Daphne and the Duke. You said hello, greeted by hugs from everyone who didn’t see you yesterday. You took the plate of toast from Violet, who was trying to get her daughter to eat, and shoved the bread under Daphne’s nose. She took a bite before actually grabbing it from you. Relieved of your mother bird duties, you plopped down on the couch in between Benedict and Colin. 

“What are your plans for today?” 

“Fencing and then a gentlemen’s club and then preparing for a party tomorrow and, dreadfully, a picnic the next day,” Colin said as he handed you a chocolate from the box on the side table. 

“May I watch?” 

“Of course, Sophie. A beautiful lady will only encourage us.” 

“Since when did you learn to be a flirt?” 

He just shrugged, sitting back to listen to Daphne play the pianoforte and tease her about the duke. You clapped at the end of her piece and requested a second one that she obliged. Daphne would have to play at the palace some time or at least at Kew. She sounded lovely. Closing your eyes, you just listened for a moment. 

“How does a lady come to be with child?” 

Your eyes flew open to see Eloise standing in front of everyone. Violet jumped up from her brief moment of sitting on the couch across from you. 

“Eloise, what a question!” 

“I thought marriage was a requirement.” 

Daphne tilted her head. “What?” 

“Apparently, it’s not even a requirement.” 

“Eloise.” 

“Mama, the princess did say all young women nearing their debut should learn.” 

Violet stuttered as she took the tray of food out of the room, forcing Hyacinth and Gregory to go with her, stating she’d be back in a moment she just needed some water. She turned back for a moment. 

“Daphne, dear, do go on. I’d like to hear some calming music when we return.” 

Eloise trudged over to the couch, sitting on the other side of Benedict. She smacked her brothers’ knees but neither one of them wanted to answer her directly. Colin turned his head. 

“Have you ever visited a farm, El?” 

You laughed as Benedict smacked the back of Colin’s head but stopped when Eloise slumped down in her seat. You tapped her on the shoulder, making her perk up again. Your hand rested on Benedict’s thigh so you could prop yourself up as you leaned over him.

Covering your mouth and Eloise’s ear, you began whispering to your friend everything you thought she needed to know about sex. Unable to help himself, Benedict leaned in to spy, surprised that your information was actually correct. You weren’t lying, the Princess’ court really taught all the valets everything. Eloise sat back, finally satisfied and a lot less worried about a spontaneous pregnancy. Until she became curious again. 

“But why would anyone want to initiate it? Who wants to be with child?” 

You leaned over once again. “No one wants to be with child. Even those who want children. It’s about the pleasure. Sometimes the pleasure of actually liking someone and other times the pleasure being about nothing but you.” 

“What?” 

“The… think about when you start breathing a bit heavier, feeling warm when you touch each other, a… I’ll tell you the rest when your brothers aren’t here. It is a bit awkward. Oh, I’ll even draw you pictures. Only a certain amount of posit— mov— steps are important. The rest you should figure out with your husband.” 

“So you do truly know what you’re talking about?” Benedict interrupted the nearly finished meeting. 

“Did you doubt me?” 

“A bit,” he admitted. 

You sat back down. “Men aren’t the only ones that know what they are talking about.” 

“Sorry to offend.” 

“No offense. None at all. I expect even the kindest and smartest and prudest of men to think such things.” 

“Well, I am still sorry. If not because of offense then because of my ignorance.”

You squeezed his thigh in appreciation. Benedict laid his hand on top of yours. The two of you stayed like that for a moment until his hand held onto yours a bit tighter. He turned to look at you. There was an understanding shared between your eyes. There was no breathing heavy or loving eyes. It was for both of you but in purely selfish pleasurable ways. 

“Sophie, are you coming to watch our fencing match?” Benedict asked.

“Yes.” At that he moved your hand closer to his private. “A bit after the calling hour starts. I like to watch the men make fools of themselves.” 

“I am not surprised by that at all. Shall we wait for you?” 

You closed the gap and placed your hand over the top of Benedict’s pants. “No. You may start without me and I’ll just come when I find the time.” 

“Okay. We’ll play again soon, maybe even another game today. So don’t be too bothered if you miss us playing for your calling hour.” 

Giving an experimental squeeze, you watched the man next to you nod ever so slightly and swallow his spit before moving your hand himself. You both relaxed into the couch completely, satisfied with your understanding. The two men left when Violet came back — it was fairly obvious that calling hour was about to start. The calling hour was several hours but at some point you had just dropped the s and you weren’t sure why. 

You thought it would be only one or two men but the duke seemed to have lit a fire under the other men’s feet. The line became rather long rather quickly. You were happy for Daphne. The more men the better. Maybe she could get a love match.

You took the last bouquet of flowers for Daphne, thanked Lord Colfield, and went to go put the flowers in a vase on the fireplace mantle. You were about to tell Daphne that you were leaving to see her brothers’ fencing match when Anthony came storming in. A gasp escaped you when Nigel Berbrooke came up behind. You were completely over this little man and his obsession. 

Without thinking, you approached Anthony. “What do you think you ar— Anthony, you and Nigel need to either leave the drawing room as this is your sister’s calling hour or wait in line if he is here to call? These lords and gentlemen have waited a great deal to talk to her and they are very patient. It is not right nor just nor of any class to disrespect the patience they have shown.” 

“Nigel?” Berbrooke scoffed. “Who do think yo—” 

“The Young Princess’ valet. She’s become a family friend,” Anthony cut Nigel off. 

At least Berbrooke had the decency to be surprised and then give you a bow. Their tunes towards you changed completely as they almost looked like they were going to wait their turn or just leave. Nigel smiled. 

“Callers were unexpected as we have already been talking extensively.” 

“Lord Berbrooke is the only man who proposed and therefore the only person I consider.” 

“I’m sorry, what?” You looked at Anthony.

“He is the on—” 

“Everyone! I am very sorry but you must leave. Miss Bridgerton’s calling hour is currently closed. Please leave your name with Heroldt, starting with the order you have been waiting, and two days from now we will continue.” You turned to Anthony as everyone filed out without complaint since they thought the princess was the reason for calling hour being over. “There. Now, Lord Berbrooke, I must speak with the Bridgertons alone. I hope that speech staved off the wolves for you if only for two days while matters are discussed.” 

“Thank you, Lady…” 

“Miss Beckett,” Anthony answered. “Thank you, Sophie. Lord Berbrooke, do you need me to escort you?” 

“No, no. You have business. I can find the front door on my own.” 

The moment he left, you, Daphne, and Violet descended on Anthony. Every word that came out of Anthony’s mouth made you scoff. Violet looked between all three of you, very upset. Anthony was ruining both Daphne’s prospects as well as his own prospects with the princess. And you were there to witness it all.

You backed Daphne on everything. Even if she was wrong, Nigel was a foul man that you would never allow to marry. You approached Anthony, speaking lowly although your friend and her mother could still hear it. 

“I hope you survive whatever poison you are drinking. Whether the Duke is a serious man or not, there are plenty of serious men here. You will not sign away your sister to such a foul man that you barely know as well and pretend it is in her best interest. And you will not expect her to be understanding or appreciative when you don’t care an ounce for your sister’s happiness. And you still wish to draw up a marriage contract? Please, just think for a moment… Good day, Viscount Bridgerton.” 

You stormed out of the drawing room and straight into the backyard where Colin and Benedict were handing their fencing gear back to a servant. They noticed the furrow in your brow. Benedict clicked his tongue. 

“I will find out what is wrong. You, brother, instruct the kitchen to leave something out for us. If there is crying then we will be long.” 

Benedict practically dragged you to the far side of the backyard. He knew no one would think anything of it when you were very angry about something Anthony did — that part was loud enough for everyone to hear. He looked at you when the two of you finally stopped. 

“Was that a ploy to get away? Or are you genuinely mad at my brother?” 

“I don’t want to talk about why I’m mad at Anthony. There’s nothing you can do anyway. Not without a good scandal… Sorry, I came out here for a fencing match. Let us focus on it. On you.” 

He took your hand again, placing it over his trousers. You began to rub it back and forth, the fabric between you guys creating friction. You reached into his pants and pulled out his cock, stroking it a bit more freely. Benedict pulled you closer. His hand reached around your ass to squeeze it.

Every time you stroked him closer to finishing he would squeeze harder than before. You watched his face the entire time. If you got back exactly what you were giving him then you would be a very happy woman. It was truly going to be about selfish pleasure for both of you. 

You gasped when he all but ripped the top part of the dress as he tried to push it all down to expose your breasts. He wanted something else to stare at that would get him off even quicker. You tried to stifle any moans threatening to escape your lips as he groped you — some of the marks so hard you were sure they would be a bit red until tomorrow. This was his turn. Yours would be later. If you both tried to get pleasure at the same time... Well, that's how people fall in love. The two of you weren't stupid to test that.

Benedict moaned and for a moment both of you were worried someone would come see what was the matter. He laughed underneath your hand covering his mouth. 

A shudder went through him and he grabbed your wrist. “I’m going to come. I-if you let g-go… just in m-my britches.” 

You dropped to your knees, shocking your friend. He grabbed your head with one hand while he bit down on the other until he finished. A very gentle touch lifted you up. He wiped stray bits of lipstick from around your mouth, wiping the evidence away on the inside of his vest. 

“I have to say I did not expect you to sit down for the last round of fencing. We were done anyway.” 

“Well, I wanted to help put up the equipment so we could all relax later. Plus, if the princess does choose to invite you all to Kew then I would like you to help put up the equipment there too.” 

Benedict laughed. 

“I promise whether I win or lose. The next time we have a round of fencing, I will put up the equipment. All of it.”

He leaned down to whisper.

“Even if you are not a lover, I would never have you on the ground, sullying your pretty gowns and body..." He squeezed your breasts one last time before helping pull your dress back up. "with grass and dirt stains. I promise I’ll bring you your pleasure next time we are inside and alone. I will leave first and retire to my room. You stay out here and eat the sandwiches the cook left. I won’t be able to return for at least an hour.” 

“Okay. I have to go see the Featheringtons and Miss Thompson anyway.” 

You did just as Benedict suggested and no one even gave you a suspicious look. You took your own sweet time going across the street. You had moved the physician and all of Wednesdays special tutors to Tuesdays so you would have more time in the city. Despite not wanting any visitors, you were the obvious exception and could go upstairs to see Marina. She looked up from her writing desk when Penelope announced she was coming with a visitor. 

The three of you gathered on the bed to share a plate of sweets. You mainly listened to Marina and Penelope, not having much to add. You wanted to figure out a way to help her. Trying to meddle in daily affairs and save the lives of one subject at a time seemed almost ridiculous. But, that was what you should do as a royal. 

“Did you say Spain?” 

“Yes. That’s where all of George’s letters are coming from at the moment. They all say Spain.”

“If you ever need a letter to Spain or to anywhere else they send Sir George, just let me know. The princess wants to help her subjects, especially women, so give me a letter and I’ll give it to her. Whenever you need.” 

Marina flung herself at you. “Thank you. If there shall ever be a problem, I promise I will say such.” 

“Oh, the princess is going back to the palace for a few weeks because of something important so I won’t be so available for a little bit.” 

“What will she be there for?” 

“You will find out when it happens.” 

The two of them giggled. “You are so mysterious.” 

~~

You were tired after an exhausting day but a letter you received from a footman that same day made you get up. Anthony had given you a key to the front and back garden gates as well as the back door that led into the kitchen. You entered through the backyard so you could actually get inside the house without waking the entire house with your knocking. You only needed Violet and Daphne. And you had a letter to leave just in case you couldn’t wake a single person. 

Voices made you pause. You recognized Eloise and Benedict talking. Instead of going any further, you just listened. Eloise — like so many other women — wanted better for herself. It had never been a question of something you would plead to your brother… You sighed. You knew your brother. It was time to stop thinking of him as the heir. There was a reason everyone was going to support Younger Charlotte’s claim over her father. And Young Charlotte listened to you. She planned on making you her advisor. There would be no pleading. You would make better laws for women. 

You didn’t want to disturb them too much so you flung the letter at Benedict’s head. Running as fast as you could, you ignored their confused calling out for you once they recognized the letter coming from the princess. Hopefully, Benedict or Eloise would get the letter to their mother before Nigel could come back. 

Dear Dowager Viscountess, 

I am nothing but my mother’s daughter and therefore it is, in fact, my job to meddle in the lives of our precious subjects for a better and more peaceful United Kingdom. Miss Beckett has told me much of your troubles in regards to a man called Lord Nigel Berbrooke. I don’t have much information on him but I do have a request that I would ask you to aid your princess in. 

I recall an acquaintance of his. A maid. She used to work at the palace but asked for a job in the ton so she could be closer to her aging parents. I believe she was employed by a neighbor of the Berbrookes? Or a friend? Or maybe them, who knows. She was supposed to come back two years after they died but has yet to return. Nigel or one of his neighbors must know. Or perhaps, his mother, she’s very close to the maids. Knows every single one of them by name. I care terribly for this maid and would like her working back at the palace.  

Please meet with his mother. She loves crumpets with any sort of preserves or a chocolate dipping sauce. It was all she wanted when she requested a meeting with my second brother. 

That is all I have to say. I do look forward to seeing your family properly. 

Yours Truly, 

Princess Y/N Kew 

P.S. Please tell Anthony that it took him long enough but I am proud he finally came to his senses. If only he can learn to listen to a woman first then he might have less problems.

You smiled to yourself as you sat in the kitchens. The staff couldn’t stop talking about Nigel Berbrooke’s bastard that he doesn’t take care of and the mother he sent away before she even gave birth. You would feel bad but you had a very personal and up-close view of the man’s real personality. The morning only got better when Brimsley and Reynolds came in with Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers. It was on the front page of the pamphlets. Absolutely worth paying the two pounds per pamphlet for everyone in the Kew household. 

“Do you think he’ll ever show his face again?” 

“No,” the cook said as she handed you your breakfast. “You did a good thing for Miss Bridgerton, Your Grace.” 

“Your Grace?” 

“It is just a title we are trying out.” 

You hummed suspiciously. The cook ignored you. 

“You better pack if you don’t want to be late for the carriage coming today.” 

You nearly forgot. The reason you couldn’t hang out with the Featheringtons and the Bridgertons arrived. Your cousin Friedrich, the prince of Prussia, was coming for a visit. He agreed to marry a British girl to strengthen the alliances and prove that Prussia and Britain were still close family. It was neither a complete truth or a complete lie. The entire family was not close. But you, your cousin, your father, your mother, and your aunt were very close. 

Sneaking out wasn’t an option. You thought that much as the carriage neared Buckingham. It had been a while since you snuck out the palace — a completely different thing from simply leaving Kew. Pandora, Brimsley, or Reynolds would sneak you your letters and you would be satisfied. Besides, even though your family was coming for an indefinite amount of time, you only had to stay a week or two. 

The carriage hadn’t even stopped completely before you ran to hug your cousin. It had been years since you last saw each other. You could hear your mothers laughing in the background. They left to have tea inside while the two of you stayed out. 

Friedrich took your hand in the crook of his arm. “Come, cousin, let us take a promenade. Have you been well?” 

“I have been better. However, I am doing well.” 

“And your illness?” 

“Not better. But I haven’t had an episode that I couldn't recover from on my own.” 

“That is good. I suppose that is the best we can ask for. Especially since I have a surprise for you.” 

“A surprise?” 

“I asked Aunt Charlotte and she agreed to let the princess accompany me to events as she knows the ton better than the both of us. You have to wear your mask but it is still a good deal.” 

“It is a wonderful deal.”

“Good. The first event is a ball tonight.” 

“Tonight?! But I’m not prepared.” 

“I’ve already had everything arranged.” 

“You planned this?” 

“I figured it would do you good to get some fresh air and get out of the palace… or Kew, now.” 

“Thank you, Friedrich. Seriously, thank you.”

(part 5)

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[dollypopup]

I think it's interesting to look at the 'Mr. Bridgerton' scene as a backdrop for the eventual mirror scene. Firstly, in the fact that I think we've kind of misinterpreted it.

So many people are of the mind that scene's purpose to 'drag' Colin, but really, that scene has 3 primary functions. The first is to inform Colin that Penelope is aware of what he said of her, thus opening the door to clearing the air between them and providing an avenue for which Colin can apologize. The second is to establish the ground that they are currently on: Penelope has given up on the dream of Colin Bridgerton, in particular the perfect prince that can do no wrong, and has made it clear to him. It also creates distance between them that they will bridge.

But the third, and to me the most wrapped up in the mirror and the inner workings of their relationship is that it reveals how Penelope feels about *herself*. It's not necessarily an echo of what the ton considers her as, after all, we have a lot of evidence indicating that, for all intents and purpose, people aren't *unkind* about her, but rather that they ignore her. Audience members recognize this as Penelope's own shyness being the cause, she is often sitting off on the sidelines or not really talking to much of anyone, in the books she's referred to as the 'one who doesn't speak', and her LW business takes her away from being a character in the action of the ton to a bystander, kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts that perpetuates itself. Pen felt unseen so she became LW to have some power, but then LW herself must remain unseen and Penelope continues to be by design of her own making.

No, I think what it really reveals is that Penelope has incredibly low personal self esteem. We as a fandom has lauded that scene as her dragging Colin, saying that he's cruel and calling him Mr. Bridgerton is absolutely meant to create distance between them, but I don't think she's dragging him.

Because the person she is *actually* dragging here. . .is herself. And it is a general theme in her life. In Whistledown. Aloud. Even with Marina, when she complimented her, she assumes that she's lying. When Edwina says she's wearing a pretty dress, Penelope puts herself down and doesn't believe her, even when the compliment is genuine. In truth, Portia is not seen as being particularly unkind to Penelope. At least, speaking as someone who's mum was *awful* about my size and weight and outfits, Portia is. . .overall rather mild. She's not KIND and loving, not by a long shot, but she's also not targeting Penelope only. She's plenty mean and critical to Prudence, too, even to the point where she foists her off to her own cousin as a pawn piece. Penelope has low self esteem because of a lot of reasons, she's bullied by Cressida (I think a lot of girls are, she was pretty mean even to Daphne in S1) and her family isn't very tender to her, and she's not being pursued at every turn, but part of it is also her own perpetuation.

Listen to what she says "Of course you would never court me" "I embarrass you" "I am the laughingstock of the the ton". She sees *herself* as an embarrassment. She puts *herself* down. Arguably, more so than the ton does. She's meaner to herself than anyone else is, aside from Cressida. And honestly? Looking at Colin's face there. . .he is HURT that she considers herself this way. That she's projecting that onto him. Yes, he's hurt that he hurt her, of course he is, he never wants to hurt her. And yes, he's ashamed that he said he wouldn't court her the way he did and that in doing so, he validated her fears that she is unloved and unwanted, but also because. . .she already feels that way about herself. She's felt that way for years. And it's painful to care about someone, to see them as wonderful, and realize. . .they don't feel the same about themselves at all. I don't think Colin is out here feeling so wounded over the fact that she called him cruel and won't refer to him by first name anymore, but that he's most hurt by what she says about herself.

Because he *doesn't* see her the way she accuses. She says she never expected him of all people to be so cruel, but he feels the same way. He never expected her to be so cruel to *herself*. He wants to go somewhere private, not because she is an embarrassment, but because he wants to have a private conversation with her. Maybe assure her. Maybe explain himself. Maybe hash it out. But god Luke Newton's acting. . .he is *aching* for her. And it feels like he's going to do those lessons not in atonement for what he said (thank god) but to genuinely help his friend who thinks badly of herself. To lift her up. It's not about him at all, not about earning forgiveness, but about elevating Penelope. And that's. . .fuck, I just find that's just so heart stoppingly beautiful.

You can see, in that scene, how much he cares about her. How deeply and genuinely he adores her as a person. And just how painful it is for him to know he has validated, whether on purpose or otherwise, how poorly she feels about herself. How low her self-confidence really is. She is giving him a glimpse into the cracks of her heart, and when he sees them, he wants to reach out with both hands and make it feel better. Make her feel better.

After she says 'even when I change my entire wardrobe', he looks so fucking crushed. So 'don't say that'. So 'you really believe that?'. So 'God, I hate that you think that way'.

Because regardless of it all, he does love her. It's not romantic yet. It's not sexual yet. But he genuinely, truly, from the bottom of his heart, thinks she's wonderful. That was evident even in the 'purpose' scene. Every time Penelope opens up and reveals a facet of herself, he likes it. He likes her barbs and her dreams, he likes talking to her. He likes her. And he feels awful that he hurt her. And he feels awful that she's hurting herself. He loves her. He wants her to love herself.

And that's where the mirror scene comes in. Because the mirror scene isn't about sex, not really. Not entirely, at least. The mirror scene is about *intimacy*. The mirror scene is about being seen. Not just her seeing him, or him seeing her, but for Penelope to see *herself*. In a way, through his eyes. Because hers are biased rather negatively toward herself, which is evidenced in the 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene, and in so many little moments we've already gotten where she's literally looking down on herself, feeling down. She doesn't necessarily *like* what's in the mirror, but he does. Because he likes *her*. And he wants to show her that he does. Show her that he finds her beautiful and have her recognize that in herself.

The 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene is about Penelope revealing how she sees herself. The mirror scene is about Colin showing her how *he* sees her. The Goodnight scene is about Penelope thinking she means nothing to him, that he thinks of her the way she thinks of herself, that this is how everyone thinks of her, and the mirror scene is a direct response to that: No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't think she's embarrassing. No, he doesn't think she's a laughingstock. No, he doesn't think she's unappealing. And he doesn't think she should, either.

And he's going to show her that. Not just tell her, but show her. The mirror scene is so often a focus on Penelope, so much of Polin is in Penelope's focus, but approaching it from Colin's perspective and his motivations is so fulfilling, too. It's a glimpse into them in conversation, and a demonstrate of how Colin loves her. How Colin loves in general, openly and earnestly and altruistically. How he encourages her to be braver and more confident in herself, bolstering her because he just likes her *that much*. How he finds the most fulfillment and satisfaction in caring aloud. The mirror scene is a demonstration of his heart in reflection.

When Luke Newton said the first word that came to mind with the word 'Mirror' was 'Exposed', he doesn't just mean physically. He means emotionally, too.

God this couple is so fucking good.

[quotergirl19]

A season 3 conversation between Colin & Eloise:

Colin: You may be able to walk away from Penelope forever because she has done something that you do not approve of or that you cannot understand, but I am not so fickle hearted. I will not abandon her. I will do everything in my power to try and understand why she has done the things she has done, and to try and move past her faults and mistakes because I know her heart and she is a good person. I cannot imagine my life without her. How can you be so quit to forget years of loyal friendship? Are you truly so disloyal?

Eloise: You call me disloyal!? Do you even know what she has done? Do you have more faith in Penelope than in your own sister?

Colin: I do. She is our oldest and dearest friend, and I know how stubborn you can be.

Eloise: You might feel differently if you knew what I know.

Colin: I know that my life is colder and darker without Penelope in it. I imagine you must miss her. I was traveling for months and I thought of her often and deeply missed her friendship. Why are you so unwilling to talk things out so you can forgive and move past—

Eloise: Ask her yourself!! Only do not be surprised when she won’t tell you because she keeps secrets and cares nothing for the pain she causes others.

Colin: Of course she cares! I have never mentioned this before because I knew you would probably never let me live it down but she warned me about Marina. I just refused listen and Penelope hates that she chose to be disloyal to her own family to save me from being tricked into a lifelong commitment with someone who was willing to lie to me and make me her fool. I may have decided to forgive Marina’s actions but make no mistake, it took a very long time for me to do that and I honestly believe it was only possible because she was thwarted. Penelope acted out of desperation and fear of what would become of me if she didn’t stop the wedding and I can honestly say that I am grateful because I was being impulsive and reckless. She hates herself for hurting Marina!

Eloise: She— wait, you know!?

Colin: Yes! I also know that what she did saved Daphne from Nigel Berbrooke and you from your own foolishness! Thinking you could lie to the Queen and get away with it!? All because you decided to ignore every rule of propriety to see a print shop boy who might have ruined you and our entire family! And you think Penelope is the only one in the wrong!? I think it’s time you looked in the mirror Eloise, and be honest with yourself about the part you played in everything that happened.

Eloise: Why would she confide in you but not me?

Colin: Because I allowed her the chance to explain. You should consider doing the same. Especially since you’re about to be sisters.

Eloise: You can’t be serious, you don’t want to marry Penelope. You’re too busy flirting and traveling the world so you can bore us all with your stories.

Colin: I can still travel with a her. In fact, I’ll be grateful for the company and flirting with Penelope is something I particularly enjoy. I have asked her to marry me and she has consented to be my wife. So I encourage you to mind your tongue and be civil because nastiness and hostility directed at my bride will not be tolerated, sister.

Eloise: Oh my god… do you love her, brother?

Colin: With everything I am and everything I will ever be. We understand each other, we’re truly happy to know we will always be together. Please, make things right Eloise. Do it for me and for yourself, and do it for Penelope. She misses you, and I know you’ve missed your friend. Talk to her.

[personality-corner]

Bridgerton MBTI

Daphne Bridgerton - ESFJ

Daphne is motivated by the social norms in her society, and is very aware of how others are feeling. She cares a lot about what other people are doing, and tries to control the emotional environment to secure a match for herself. But this extends far beyond herself, she uses her emotional awareness to help Marina, and to call out Anthony when she notices he has feelings for Kate Sharma, rather than Edwina. Her awareness of how society works, and her own experiences seeing love with her parents have also influenced a lot of her decisions.

Simon Basset - ISTP

Simon lives by his own logic, and often refuses to live by the objective rules set by society. He initially doesn’t want to have kids, because to him, that means letting his abusive father get what he wants. However, because of his logical view, he often ignores the emotions of others, and doesn’t think about how his actions affect everyone. He enjoys activities like boxing, as it keeps him busy and he also makes rather impulsive decisions to help with his Ti and his own plans.

Anthony Bridgerton - ESTJ

Anthony is the oldest brother in the family, and therefore has the most responsibilities. He genuinely cares for his siblings, but shows this through his controlling tendencies and by taking a logical and objective approach to their projects. He nitpicks Daphne’s prospects to the point to where she is unhappy, and he also refuses to acknowledge his own feelings when it comes to marriage. He is very connected to his Si, which makes him haunted by the memory of his father, leading him to make many decisions based on tradition and knowledge of his environment.

Kate Bridgerton (nee Sharma)- ENTJ

Kate is very similar to Anthony in many ways. She too, cares for her younger sibling and does so through an objective and controlling lens. She also refuses to apply emotions to her decisions, ignoring the fact that she does have feelings for Anthony, as his marriage to Edwina would be objectively better than a marriage to her. The main difference between Kate and Anthony, however, is that Kate’s decisions are based around ideas and the future rather than tradition and the past.

Penelope Bridgerton (nee Featherington)- INFP

Penelope’s emotions are a guiding factor to her character- for better or for worse. She sometimes gets so obsessed with how she is feeling that she doesn’t stop to think about how her actions may be affecting those around her. However, her Fi is also her greatest strength as well. She is very critical of her environment and is able to focus on what she’s feeling, desiring a love match rather than a security match. Oftentimes, she confuses fiction for reality, which is the main reason her mother doesn’t like her reading books.

Colin Bridgerton- ENFP

Colin is a dreamer, who is so focused on exploring the unknown and his thoughts, that he ignores what is right in front of him. It took him years to figure out that Penelope liked him… and that was only after Penelope explicitly told him she wanted to be more than friends. Not only this, but he is constantly looking at his own emotions to figure out what needs to happen. He unintentionally ruins Penelope’s proposal, because he realized that she doesn’t love Debling and that he wants her to be with him.

Eloise Bridgerton - INTJ

Eloise tends to focus on a select few ideas, and doesn’t like to explore anything else that is critical of these ideas. Because of this, she tends to ignore or be unaware of what is going on around her, and how her ideas are not useful to everyone. She is constantly reading books and pamphlets, which is where she obtains a lot of the knowledge she does, and is constantly talking about this knowledge. She also has very strong Fi, criticizing Cressida when she does something that is against her morals.

Benedict Bridgerton - ESFP

Benedict likes to live in the moment, and appreciate his surroundings. He does this through art, and sometimes sex. He has been known to participate in orgies and theeesomes for the sake of it. Unlike many of the other Bridgertons, Benedict seems less concerned about societal pressures as a whole. He doesn’t scold Eloise when he catches her smoking and instead asks her for something to smoke. He is more concerned doing what he wants than appeasing structure rules or appeasing society.

Violet Bridgerton - ISFJ

Violet’s experiences are the guiding point of her character, and are exactly why she wants what she does for her children. She is a huge advocate for marrying for love, because she had married for love, and was very happy within her marriage. Despite this, she is also aware of social rules and tries her best to encourage her children to follow them. She scolds Colin for “encouraging inappropriate conversations” when he starts joking about sex to Eloise. She also encourages Eloise to attend balls, and interact with suitors.

Francesca Bridgerton - ISTJ

Francesca wants a love match, but unlike Daphne or Anthony, she would prefer to not have many suitors. Francesca is comfortable with silence and knowing the environment she is in, and is often eager to talk about subjects she is knowledgeable in, such as piano forte. She also seems to be comfortable in a routine, doing the same things as she normally would on the day of her presentation because it is “just another day.”

To Be Typed: There will be another post, as Tumblr only allows ten pics per post, so I decided to make this post more centered around the Bridgertons and their love interests. I’m going to hold off on typing Hyacinth and Gregory until later seasons.

[thekatebridgerton]

Another favorite au I've never talked about in this blog is omegaverse which is a pity because it's one of the ones I like the most. Soooo even tho I don't know how to write smut...let's take a shot at it shall we?. At least for Kanthony Polin and Philoise

Kanthony: as an extremely headstrong Omega with a very sweet smelling younger Omega sister, Kate pretends to be an alpha to scare off unworthy suitors, using a scent blocker. Everyone buys her ruse except this one extremely dominant Alpha who really seems to want to get close to Edwina, but Kate won't let him, Edwina deserves to be mated for love and she's going to fight Anthony every step of the way. When it comes to Kate, Anthony has never smelled a better Omega in his life, which is made worse by the fact that everyone seems to think she's an Alpha, when Anthony knows she's not!. It doesn't help that her Omega challenges him at every turn, this sort of thing from an Alpha would certainly not be a problem but coming from an Omega her behavior just stimulates his Alpha's desire to campture, subdue and dominate her. If she doesn't start acting like her designation, it's going to make Anthony snap and bed her into submission. For Kate, it really doesn't help that her Omega is almost feral in it's possessiveness, Kate doesn't want Anthony around her, but neither does her Omega want him around others. And his Alpha likes that too much. Really, accepting that invitation to tour Aubrey Hall is such a bad idea. But she just had to say yes to spite him.

Polin: because she grew up so repressed Penelope has a health condition that makes Omega scent almost untraceable to the normal people. As a result everyone thinks she's a Beta and she's given up on love.( No matter how delicious a certain third son Alpha has always smelled to her). The only times she feels she can truly be herself is when she's writing Lady Whistledown columns, which is when she feels actually heard and seen. Colin on the other hand has known the scent of his mate since Daphne debut. The problem is that the scent comes and goes, sometimes it can be in a ballroom for a second and then completely disappear, only to appear again somewhere else and disappear again. He swears he even tracked it down to the Featherington house once, only for the scent to disappear again and reappear near the house of the Featherington solicitor. It's maddening. And nobody believes him about it. So he thinks there's something wrong with him. When his good friend Penelope decides to enter spinsterhood, and he begins seeing more of her, the maddening Omega scent begins showing up more frequently and it drives his Alpha more crazy, why is his Omega hiding? He needs to claim her!. Penelope on the other hand is trying to get her stupid scent flares under control before Colin figures out she's lady Whistledown, Besides didn't Colin say he'd never mate Penelope Featherington in his wildest dreams? They're obviously not mates no matter how delicious he smells to her. And she really can't help how much her Omega blooms in happiness whenever she's doing LW things. Penelope is determined not to let Colin interfere, she's lived her life without making mistakes and she's not going to let her designation give her away, not now this close to retirement. But the moment Colin suspects Penelope may have a secret lover, he follows her, catching her in the act and nothing is there to stop a furious Colin from chasing after her and claiming her. Not even Penelope's stubborn insistence that she's NOT HIS MATE. It doesn't help that he just went into a rut, that only she can take care of and Now he just won't let her go

Philoise: everyone in Mayfair knew Eloise was that weird Omega who never ever wanted to have pups, which made it unlikely she'd ever find a mate one day. So when Penelope asks her to check on Cousin Marina's widow on her way to Benedict's estate, Eloise thinks nothing of it, after all she's been exchanging letters with Sir Phillip and he's never been anything but extremely polite with her. It's not until she's actually in Romney hall that his scent hits her, the scent of an unmated Alpha in his prime, with two motherless pups. And for the first time in her life Eloise nonexistent nurturing Omega instincts kick in. Because those two unruly pups need so much, how could Sir Phillip allow them to go without being held for so long, Eloise can't believe their first instinct when seeing an Omega in their territory is to try to drive her out. They need to get clean clothes, they need to be better feed and definitely a better nanny. Eloise can't just leave while they're so hurt. Alpha smells like mate but Alpha has been bad, Alpha needs to be re educated!. As for Phillip, he never expected the sweetest smelling Omega in the world to burst into his life and start giving orders. But she's so perfect his Alpha would gladly follow her to the end of the world. He's never been a conventional dominant Alpha, he doesn't think Eloise needs him to protect her, but she does need the comforting presence of an Alpha who will accept her as she is. And if she's started to build a nest with his things he'll pretend he doesn't see it. After all he needs to prove himself to her first, Phillip just needs to show her he can be a good provider and good father for the pups who already love her so much. Meanwhile Eloise knows it's just a matter of time before her proximity to Phillip's decadent scent triggers her heat and she needs to get to Benedict's estate before she begs him to mate her. But the pups don't want her to go, what should she do? She's never had pups need her before, Phillip needs her too, Alpha would be so sad if she... Oh gosh this is not the time for a breakthrough heat! And Did Phillip just growl?

An: I just wish more for more Bridgerton abo to be honest. It's really hot okay

[bridgertonbabe]

Could you tell us more about Phillip and eloise getting together? It sounds super emotional.

How long are they together before colin finds out?

In this AU Phillip and Eloise's story isn't one of love at first sight but one of falling slowly.

Eloise had always heard about Phillip ever since Colin's first year when he would mention his bevy of friends in every single letter he wrote home, and eventually she became acquainted with him whenever the Bridgertons met Phillip and his mum in Diagon Alley for the back-to-school shop and when he stayed for sleepovers at Aubrey Hollow. She noted he was a lot more reserved in comparison to her brother and Michael and she enjoyed observing the dynamic of him and Sophie being the responsible pair of the group as they kept Colin and Michael in line.

Once she got to Hogwarts herself she saw a lot more of him during the three years their time in secondary education overlapped and she would always greet him in passing on the way to classes, though they never properly chatted together unless the Bridgerton siblings ended up sat at the same dining table with Colin's gang in the Great Hall. During her first three years she had to endure a lot of her classmates eagerly discussing just how hot the Awesome Foursome were and while she perfectly understood why everyone was crazy for Michael Stirling, she couldn't understand why anyone would be crushing over Colin (oblivious to just how pink Penelope would turn whenever her brother's name was mentioned), and in her opinion based off of looks she thought it was obvious that Phillip was far better looking than her brother - though this wasn't an opinion she felt necessary to share with her peers.

Cut to several years later just after the Awesome Foursome have returned from their interrailing adventures and Eloise is filled in on everything that went down in the fallout between Colin and Phillip. While Penelope offers Colin a shoulder to cry on, Eloise can't help but feel for Phillip and feels as though Colin is being too harsh and petty about the Marina situation. When she sees Phillip at Simon and Daphne's wedding she pulls up a chair and pours them a drink before listening to his side of the story, the perspective of which she empathises with and lets him know she's there for him if he ever needs to talk regardless of the shit Colin's making him put up with. From then on his connection to her as a mere family friend develops into a fully fledged friendship and she meets up with him quite regularly along with the group of Michael, Penelope, Sophie, and Benedict, and eventually Colin too once he and Phillip make amends (as well as begrudgingly making some sort of peace with Sophie and Benedict's relationship).

Then three months after the twins are born, Eloise pops round to visit Phillip after coming across an old herbology tome in her family's library and immediately curious to see if he had already read it. Marina had moved in with him shortly before the twins were born so they could tackle the newborn stage as a team, but when Eloise sees the state of the flat and of an incredibly stressed-out and sleep-deprived Phillip and asks him where Marina is, she's the first person to learn that Marina left two weeks previously.

While helping to soothe Oliver, Eloise listens as Phillip ends up telling her everything; Marina had been badly suffering with postpartum depression and despite getting help she severely doubted her ability to be a good mother and felt as though the twins would be better off without her in their life. Phillip desperately tried to convince her to stay, telling her it was only natural to have those doubts since he wasn't sure he was all that good at being a parent too, but nothing he could say could pull Marina out of her low maternal self-esteem. She said she felt it would be best if she left but that she didn't want to never come back; she just needed time to sort her head out and hoped he would allow her the chance to come back and be a mother when she was ready. Though he didn't want her to leave him alone to raise the twins single-handedly, Phillip also wanted what was best for Marina and if she needed to take a step away for her mental health, he knew it would be far better than her staying and only feeling worse off. While Eloise was incredibly amazed by just how considerate and understanding he had been of Marina's mental health, she couldn't believe he hadn't told anyone and had been struggling as a single parent of baby twins since. While Phillip tried to insist he was alright, Eloise determined he wasn't and declared she would move in to help him with the twins and ordered him to get his head down to catch up on some much needed sleep.

Everyone was quite stunned to learn of Eloise's new living arrangement especially considering she had willingly made the decision to gain two babies as roommates and what's more she was even being a hands-on pseudo-parent of sorts - which was shocking since she would scarper out of any room Amelia was in the second her niece started crying. Eloise was a little surprised by her decision too, but it was a choice she hadn't hesitated in making as soon as she took in the exhaustion in Phillip's eyes. He was nothing but a kind and thoughtful man and since he was never going to ask for help, she was going to provide it to him unasked and without expecting any gratitude.

As the months wore on and whenever they visited Aubrey Hollow with the twins, Eloise's family were shocked that she had such a way with the babies in spite of any previous experience with infants. She soothed them straight away whenever they started to fuss and she proved to be a very engaged parental figure as she played with them and encouraged them to achieve their milestones. When they left, Violet and Edmund would exchange curious looks with one another, remarking that Eloise wasn't just playing mum to the twins but was also playing partner to Phillip, something they had picked up on just in the way the pair looked at each other and bounced off of one another.

Naturally living under the same roof bonded Eloise and Phillip closer than ever before as they would spend every single day together taking care of the babies, cooking and sharing meals together, and unwinding after putting the twins to bed by kicking back on the sofa together and watching trashy TV or just chatting away for hours on end. Their nights would end with a big hug before they turned in for the night into their respective bedrooms, though gradually these hugs would last a little bit longer with every passing day; though neither one of them were willing to acknowledge what the lingering embraces meant. Slowly but surely their platonic bond was building up into something more although they were both quick to deny these blossoming feelings; even though the sight of Phillip leaving the bathroom after a shower with nothing but a towel slung around his waist would send Eloise's imagination into overdrive; and not to mention the moments where Eloise would casually finish his sentences about anything herbology-related thus proving she hung onto his every word made Phillip want to kiss her senseless.

Neither one were prepared to act on these feelings, both of them fearing they could jeopardise their situation if their feelings weren't reciprocated or even if they did but things wouldn't work out between them. It wasn't until Amanda uttered her first word and called Eloise "mama" that suddenly changed everything. Freaking out that she had overstepped in her role and that the babies were getting too attached, Phillip came home to find Eloise frantically packing her bags to leave. Realising he couldn't lose her at least without telling her how he felt he finally put his feelings on the line and confessed how deeply she meant to him, and after a heart to heart and a tender kiss Eloise decided to stay.

They kept their relationship quiet at first, not wanting anyone's opinion or advice on the matter, but naturally Violet and Edmund sensed there had been a change to their relationship, however neither one said anything to their daughter, knowing she'd come to them in her own time. Meanwhile between Sophie and Benedict they recognised just how happy the supposed "just roommates" were, and after some gentle prodding Phillip ended up telling all to Sophie as Eloise did with Benedict. They were very happy for the pair and would even visit their flat for the occasional double date while their relationship was still under wraps; and they were entrusted not to breathe a word to Colin especially after how badly he had taken Sophie and Benedict getting together. Eloise and Phillip knew it would have to come out eventually but they did manage to successfully keep their relationship under wraps for several months, with the truth only coming to light a few week after the twins first birthday, but by that time Colin's reaction hardly fazed them, not when they were very much in love with one another.

[bohemian-nights]

Is this a safe space to say that I don't care about Polin in S3? Colin is such a boring 1 dimensional character that easily gets overshadowed by Anthony and especially Benedict, and Penelope is just a whiny brat who just wants male validation and is jealous of Eloise. Also to act like she never said anything about the Brdgertons is a lie cause she had no problem talking about Daphne, had it not have been for her crush on Colin she would've gone on a jealous rant about his entire family. I know Polin is attractive to some people because of the representation of larger body types and the childhood friends to lovers trope but it's just boring. I can't name 1 intreseting thing about Colin other than he took a vacation and had psychedelic tea and Pen is not as progressive as she thinks she is she's just jealous and bitter. Also how is it that she's such an amazing writer that can communicate in so much detail but can't even communicate to Eloise when Eloise doesn't understand her perspective? She's quick to lash out at her as if Eloise is doing it on purpose, Eloise is not dumb and she has respect it's not like she insults women who want/desire love so there was no reason for Penelope to play victim.

This is totally a safe space because while I don't hate them I don’t particularly care for Polin either.

In the books it’s a bit better because Penelope isn’t as much of a snake), but she isn’t my fave by a long shot.

Penelope on the show is straight-up awful. She started pretty sympathetic, but then the Marina situation happened and that turned me completely off of her character. So by the time she had her falling out with Eloise(who did nothing wrong and has every right to be angry with her), I was already checked out.

Yes, she’s not very popular with the ton.* Yes not being seen sucks. Yes her mother is kind of mean to her and forces her to wear the most hideous outfits which is probably a turn-off for most men. Yes she wants Collin and he doesn’t want her and that sucks, but that’s no excuse for her actions.

Honestly, Penelope is half a step away from being a whole stalker and yet we are supposed to see ourselves in her or at least sympathize with her🫠

(I’m not going to get into her being bullied by Cressida since she’s nasty to everyone).

It’s kind of obvious though that Shonda sees herself in her which is why Penelope is promoted so much and given the angle she has been, but she’s a weirdo with insecurity issues.

To be honest, I thought she should’ve gotten a redemption arc before her season(she’s not unredeemable, she just needs to clean up her act), but it is what it is.

Now Collin both in the show and the books is incredibly dull to me. Yes, he has his traveling(and spoilers, his writing about his travels), but he’s just kind of there. He is just the third Bridgerton bro and while Luke Newton is attractive I feel nothing when I look at him playing Colin.

That cheesy promo they had the other day did nothing for me(well I did laugh, but I don’t think that’s the intended reaction). I don’t know what to say other than he’s just meh. To me, he’s not leading man material and I’m not seeing the chemistry with Penelope/her actress, but again it is what it is.

As far as representation goes, I’m not a plus-sized woman, but I know that it is important to see yourself and to want to see yourself represented on screen.

I think that’s the essence of Bridgerton/what it is trying to accomplish because let’s be honest period dramas are not very diverse. I think that Bridgerton has kind of changed that to a degree.

I don’t want to hype up the show too much cause it’s not perfect, but without this shows success I don’t think that films and shows like Tom Jones, Interview With the Vampire, The Confessions of Frannie Langton, Mr. Malcom’s List, The Buccaneers, and now The Davenports (which I’m excited for) would’ve been nesscary green-lit or the plot would’ve been changed to make it more diverse if not for Bridgerton.

I hate bringing this up, but I don’t even know if the dumbass showrunners of HOTD would’ve made the Velaryons Black if not for them looking at how successful Bridgerton is without understanding that the reason why it's successful is that they don't treat their Black characters like they leftovers. It’s about respect not just having people there to pat yourselves on the back and say look how progressive we are, but I digress.

I mean representation in terms of body type is not comparable to representation in terms of race, but it feels good when characters who look like you aren't shown in the worst light, when they are the main character, or when they have been given actual characterization and aren't made into a joke.

So I get why people love Penelope and Polin and understand why they are looking forward to their season, but personally, they just aren't my cup of tea.

That all being said, I’m still going to watch the season cause I love Bridgerton, I’m kind of hoping we’ll see Sophie this season

(Praying that she's Masali Baduza or just any Black actress 🙏🏽I’m not picky, as long as Sophie's actress is Black, you won’t see me complaining).

I’ll end this by saying that I’m a Benophie girl and while I’ve made peace with the fact that Polin got the lead instead(and I’m actually low-key glad they did), I don’t think this is going to blow my socks off, but I hope it gives the people who have been waiting for it everything they want.

[savingthrcw]

opinions time!

When it comes to B.rigerton don't get me wrong, I love Penelope and when I write of Eloise and Cressida's emotions I'm simply writing from their pov, I *want* Eloise and Penelope to become friends again (even if it should take years, realistically, and probably Eloise getting over the leftover feelings of her crush for Theo and of how badly it ended), I am not saying that my characters are right and innocent. I am writing my characters believing they are right, no doubts, the same way we all think we are right when we fight with someone! But Eloise has plenty flaws and Cressida, sympathetic backstory and ability to change aside, has been a d*ckhead.

However I do think that Eloise is 100% right to be mad, just like I think Penelope did literally everything she could to protect her, and that includes giving her good advice and making sure the queen would never suspect of her again. Her hand was forced in writing (but I also do think that she didn't want to give herself up and face consequences and wouldn't have done so even if the queen might believe her, she didn't really consider all the ways she could make the queen believe her) (but she would have also never written again after saving Eloise because she was genuinely horrified about almost ruining her friend)

I also do think Eloise was reckless, careless, in going back to Theo, but so are literally all other Bridgertons because all of their love-stories went the non-acceptable route and the men were arguably more careless than the women. She also felt lied to and when they argued I'm sure that Penelope telling her she's all talk while she, Pen, did something about society, hit her hard because "is that how she always felt about me?". But Eloise was still too okay to go see Theo after being gossiped about, she was the one to risk her family's honor there. But she was in love and her brothers did equally dangerous things (the duel??? Anthony's entire life in the last two years? Colin proposing to Marina after 5 seconds? Daphne making an arrangement with the Duke way worse than Penelope asking Colin for help??) and hell, Penelope given the chance didn't exactly tell Colin 'stop, let's wait until we are married'.

And I think we should not underestimate that Pen is literally putting lives at risk with what she writes, gossip in their universe/time is not gossip in ours, a woman with a bad reputation is ruined and so are all her siblings, especially the female ones: a woman who can't marry has NOTHING left, can't work, will have to live with her parents in shame, has no other prospectives, which is why Marina was literally trapping Colin with the intention of telling him she got pregnant right away (and no, that's not okay but she didn't have many choices. Still, she should feel bad and not act like she's somehow superior to Colin because he dared to reject her over finding out he was being tricked). And yes women shouldn't break the rules if they don't want to risk it, but that's just not realistic, no couple would exist in the show if rules weren't broken, since when we expect love to follow bureaucracy?

But also Eloise just assumed Penelope wanted everything she did and didn't listen to her as much, and doesn't seem to really be judging Penelope for the fact that she's doing the time-period equivalent of writing about disabled people working in secret to evade taxes (yes that's the closest thing to it we have today, because really, it's a choice, but it's ridiculous to expect disabled people to survive if the money they receive isn't enough but also for them to work like an abled person with nothing in between, and they are risking being ruined for the rest of their lives and possibly poverty. Same as following your heart is a choice, especially hoping it will end up in marriage, but in many situations these women have no real choice but to throw themselves at men, and risk being ruined if caught), no, Eloise is just mad when it's her family that gets written about, it's not a moral opposition, it's a SELFISH one, and she still wanted to chitchat with Lady W. She felt almost superior to all for not wanting what they did, and then got a taste of what's life is like when you actually will not be accepted by society and ran to buy stylish dresses because yeah, guess what, maybe women around you have a point in not wanting that life. Then again, Penelope found so awful to almost ruin Eloise because she cares about her, meanwhile all women she didn't like were fair game, also not great.

But I think we'd all be mad like Eloise if our friend lied to us for years and did stuff that could damage our families, and convinced us to interrupt the secret relationship we had going (which none of our siblings had to do, they got to marry their loves instead) just like we'd all feel like Penelope about having the right to keep secrets especially if we think our friends wouldn't listen to us, and not being given the choice to earn money and find some satisfaction in life outside of this because our gender means no work, no freedom unless married.

So when writing Eloise I find thousand of motivations for her be angry and if I wrote Penelope I'd justify her in a thousand of ways, but I also think they BOTH have a point and the fandom is too quick to demonize one or the other.

[rubysunnday]

it’s a love story

a/n: this is a looonnnggg one, but i enjoyed writing it a lot. Thank you to @gryffindors-weasley who’s stories have inspired this one - if you want more sweet Colin please go read their stories!

words: 3,703

summary: Y/N has loved Colin since they were children but it was one-sided. She was content to stand aside and watch Colin move on without her. Until Marina.

Unrequited love hurt.

It was easy to lose yourself in night-time fantasies of a life with the one person you loved - dreaming of your wedding, your house and the day they confessed their feelings to you.

Y/N had loved Colin ever since she’d been a child. It’d started off as nothing more than platonic love - they’d been best friends since childhood, and they’d stayed close over the years as they both grew up and turned into something that vaguely resembled adults.

She’d never revealed how she felt to him. Y/N didn’t want to tell him and run the risk of ruining their friendship. She simply stood aside and watched him flirt with and at almost every woman in London. It never bothered her - it was how Colin was. He flirted and played around but never settled.

Until Marina.

Y/N hadn’t thought twice about how he flirted at Marina. Admittedly, it had hurt to see how close they’d been at Daphne’s wedding party and how besotted Colin seemed to be with her. But Y/N had just thought Marina was another passing fancy who would be married and vanished after the season ended.

But the garden party changed that.

She hadn’t wanted to go. Ever since Daphne’s wedding she’d been keeping her distance from Colin and the Bridgerton House in general, not wanting to set herself up for anymore heart ache and pain then what she was mentally prepared for.

As her carriage pulled up to the gardens, Y/N felt her hands begin to shake. It was ridiculous how nervous she was - nothing had even happened yet! She was just nervous to see Colin and have to disguise her feelings from him and Marina.

Before the wheels of her carriage had even stopped rolling, Eloise ran over and flung open the door, looking up at Y/N expectantly. Benedict reluctantly chased after his sister after his mother shoved him in Eloise’s vague, general direction.

Eloise squinted up at her, attempting to read Y/N’s mind. “Nope, you’re not running away,” she said, reaching up and grabbing her friends’ hand and practically pulling her out the carriage, sensing Y/N’s desire to be anywhere other than there.

“Oh, Eloise, don’t start,” Y/N complained, barely catching herself on Benedict’s outstretched arm as she missed the step entirely and lost her footing.

“If I have to suffer, you have to suffer,” Eloise replied, almost pouting.

Y/N sighed, still clutching Benedict’s arm as she regained her sense. “Eloise, I don’t want to be here. I can’t cope with... well, that,” she waved a hand in the vague general direction of where Colin was.

“And I can’t cope with my mother doing what she does best,” Eloise shot back, snatching Y/N’s hand and pulling her into the gardens. “Now, come along, dear Y/N.”

Not trusting her friend, Y/N grabbed Benedict’s hand and dragged the man along with her, ignoring his muttered complaints as he reluctantly followed after his sister.

Everything seemed to be going fine. Y/N hovered around Benedict and Anthony, making small talk with the two and strategically avoiding looking at or being in the vicinity of Colin and having to talk to him.

Every time she looked over at him, he was with Marina, smiling dumbly at something she’d said and looking stupidly doe-eyed at her.

Marina hadn’t done anything to Y/N and was probably a lovely person, but she still infuriated Y/N beyond belief for no reason at all. Her mere existence irritated her.

Benedict looked up, having asked Y/N a question that had been met with silence. He noticed her staring at Colin and nudged Y/N’s arm. “Stop staring.”

Y/N blinked and turned her head away from Colin, plucking an invisible thread off the cuff of her dress. “Thanks,” she muttered quietly. She hadn’t realised she’d been noticeably staring.

Despite never saying anything, both Eloise and Benedict - and presumably the rest of the Bridgerton household since neither sibling could keep their mouths shut - knew about Y/N’s unrequited love for Colin.

When they’d been children, Colin and Y/N had gotten ‘married’ in the back garden of Bridgerton House. It’d been a big event involving all the family and the staff and had ultimately ended in the two getting a ‘divorce’ that evening when Colin threw a carrot at Y/N. But it’d been obvious even then how perfect they were for the other.

Y/N looked up as someone gently knocked their knife against their glass. Her heart almost stopped when she realised it was Colin and that Marina was standing next to him looking very pleased.

“May I have everyone’s attention?” Colin asked as silence fell over the gathered party.

Y/N was trying not to think the worse. She could see the confusion on Anthony’s face at what his brother was about to do but Y/N knew, deep down, what was about to happen.

“I would like to make a small but important announcement,” Colin continued, practically beaming. “I have happy news to impart.”

Y/N could hear her heart beating. She knew what was coming. There was nothing else that Colin could say that would make sense and that would make Marina smile so much. She unconsciously reached out her hand and grabbed Anthony’s arm, squeezing it tightly.

“I have asked Miss Marina Thompson to be my wife, and she has accepted.”

Everyone around them gasped in delight. Benedict was smiling, Lady Featherington was beaming, and Anthony looked like he was about to throttle someone.

Y/N felt as if her entire life was falling apart in front of her. She’d lost the one thing that meant everything to her to someone else. Her grip on Anthony’s arm increased and he looked over at her.

“Smile,” Anthony whispered, despite his own surprise and anger. “And go congratulate them.”

It took a moment for Y/N’s mind to realise that Anthony had even spoken. But a moment later she nodded, plastered a smile to her face and approached Colin and Marina with false joy and gratitude despite the fact her heart was breaking apart inside her.

For the rest of the week, Y/N stayed at home. Despite the invitation being extended to her to join the Featherington’s and a few of the Bridgerton’s for dinner, she declined it, unable to bear the pain of seeing Colin and Marina stare lovingly at one another.

The seventh day of hiding dawned annoyingly early and Y/N, who felt as if she hadn’t slept in months, found herself pottering around her house with no purpose in mind.

“Miss Y/L/N.”

Y/N turned around to face her butler. “Yes, Simmons?”

“Miss Eloise Bridgerton is here to see you, ma’am. She’s refusing to leave.”

Y/N sighed and pursed her lips. “Of course, she is,” she muttered. “Where is she?”

Simmons gestured to the lounge and Y/N headed down the corridor towards the room.

“Eloise, I swear -” Y/N cut herself off abruptly at the pained yet excited look on Eloise’s face as the woman ran up to her and all but crashed into her.

“The engagement is off,” Eloise said all at once, her excitement overtaking her need to speak.

Y/N blinked. “I - what is off?”

“Colin and Marina Thompson’s engagement,” Eloise said again, elaborating a little more. Y/N blinked again. “What?”

Eloise grabbed Y/N’s hand and dragged her into the living room, thrusting the latest Lady Whistledown into her hands.

Y/N hadn't read it in the past week - every page being focused on Colin and Marina and how happy Daphne and the duke had seemed. Every description of anything related to love added insult to injury.

She scanned it quickly and stared at the words with wide eyes. The paper fell from her hands as she looked up at Eloise.

“She... she’s pregnant?” Y/N whispered, almost not daring to say it. “What, when, how - I mean, I know how but...”

“I didn’t know how,” Eloise admittedly sheepishly.

Y/N’s head shot up, Colin and Marina forgotten. “How did you not know? You grew up with three older brothers!”

Eloise shrugged. “It just... never came up. Anyway,” she fluttered the piece of paper in font of Y/N’s face, “Colin’s free.”

“Eloise -”

“What? Y/N, there is nothing standing between you and Colin.”

Y/N sighed and slowly sat down on the sofa. “Eloise, your family’s reputation is... in a treacherous position. If I’m seen flinging myself at Colin to try and benefit from this... I’m not that sort of person. Maybe in a few weeks when its all calmed down...”

Eloise looked her friend up and down. She sat down next to her and took her hand. “Okay. I don’t agree with it but, okay.”

Over the next few days, Y/N began spending more time around the Bridgerton’s, visiting their house like she had before Colin’s proposal.

All of the Bridgerton’s, bar Colin, knew why Y/N had vanished for a few days but said nothing of her sudden re-appearance. Y/N put it down to feeling ill - she tried not to fall apart when Colin asked after her with concern in his voice and worry in his eyes.

“I’m fine now,” Y/N told him, smiling. “Just a blip.”

“Good,” Colin replied, matching her smile.

Y/N sipped on her tea, casting her eyes down as she felt her stomach flutter at the sight of his smile - even if it didn’t reach his eyes. “Are you attending the Queen’s garden party tomorrow?” Y/N asked, setting her cup down on its saucer with a soft clink.

Colin nodded. “Daphne and the duke are back in town... so, yes, we’re all going to be attending. Are you...”

“Yes, I’ll be there,” Y/N replied, trying not to smile at the palpable relief that appeared on Colin’s face at her answer.

Despite everything that had happened over the past few days, Colin and Y/N’s relationship hadn’t changed. Yes, Y/N was still longing after someone she would likely never have but she’d missed her best friend too much to sulk in her own misery for much longer.

The day of the Queen’s Garden Party, Y/N joined the Bridgerton’s, walking in with the family, her arm in Colin’s.

“Isn’t this lovely?” Violet asked, smiling as she put her arm around Hyacinth. “All of us together again. And Y/N.”

Y/N laughed. “Thanks, Lady Bridgerton.”

“Yes, it’s lovely indeed. We should tempt scandal more often,” Colin muttered. He grunted lightly as Y/N elbowed him in the stomach. “Ow.”

“Hush,” Y/N replied. She was highly aware of everyone staring at them - a given considering the scandal that Marina had brought down upon the Bridgerton’s.

After a few minutes, and after the Queen had accosted Daphne and the duke, Y/N wandered off from the Bridgerton’s, mingling with the other guests and indulging herself in a glass of lemonade and a biscuit.

“Oh, Miss Y/L/N!”

Y/N closed her eyes at the shrill, grating voice of Cressida Cowper. She was the last person she’d wanted to see let along speak to. Y/N plastered a smile to her face and turned to face Cressida.

“Miss Cowper, how are you?” Y/N asked.

“I’m wonderful, thank you. I just wanted to know what you think you’re doing,” Cressida replied, her tone cheerful but the words sounded and felt forced.

Y/N frowned. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, Cressida.”

“Mr Bridgerton - Colin, I mean. You’ve been fawning all over him since the news about Miss Thompson broke -”

“I haven’t been fawning, I’ve been trying to be a good friend,” Y/N replied slowly, her frown deepening.

Cressida waved a hand dismissively. “Yes, yes, but we all know that your ‘friendship’ is a disguise for your unrequited love for Mr Bridgerton.”

The empty glass in Y/N’s hand all most fell to the floor, but she kept a tight grip on it as she looked at Cressida. “Excuse me?”

“Well, it’s well known that you are in love with Colin and that he doesn’t know. And if he did, well, that would be your friendship over, wouldn’t! Perhaps you are even Lady Whistledown and wrote that article on Miss Thompson to have Colin all to yourself.”

“I don’t know what you’re implying here, Cressida -”

“Oh, I’m not implying anything, Y/N,” Cressida replied, smiling slyly. “We both know the truth about your relationship with Colin. I just can’t imagine how hurt he would be if Lady Whistledown turned out to be you. Besides, it’s not like you actually think he could possibly love you? You don’t deserve him.”

“Is everything alright, Y/N?” Colin asked, stepping into the conversation and putting a hand on the small of Y/N’s back.

Y/N turned her head away and, despite the tightness in her throat, swallowed and smiled. “Yes, Miss Cowper was just leaving,” she said firmly.

Cressida all but stamped her foot as she turned and flounced off. Colin watched her go and then turned back to Y/N, frowning in concern. He was no stranger to the stings Cressida and her mother often gave out to the Ton.

“What was that about?” Colin asked. “I didn’t really hear much -”

“Nothing,” Y/N cut in. Colin’s hand was still resting on her back and she could feel the heat of his hand seeping through the light pink silk of her dress. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t just be friends and pretend her feelings didn’t exist when they did.  She took a shaky breath in, clenching her lace gloved hands tightly as they shook. “Excuse me.”

Ignoring Colin’s worried and hurt expression, Y/N stepped away from him and walked off towards the back of the gardens in search for some peace and quiet.

Y/N found a small side garden amongst the hedges and darted into it, kicking the small white picket fence gate shut behind her - forming a very pathetic barrier that Colin could probably climb over.

Cressida had always had the ability to get under her skin. Normally she would simply forget and move on with her day but everything Cressida had said - minus the Lady Whistledown accusation - was true.

She didn’t deserve Colin. That was partly why she’d been so content to let him marry Marina - because she didn’t deserve him. And why would he love her? Compared to Marina and every other women Colin had flirted at or with, she wasn’t much of anything.

“Y/N?”

Y/N closed her eyes at the sound of Colin’s voice, mentally wishing him away. She refused to turn around and face him - she could feel the emotions beginning to win over her and could feel her eyes burning.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? What did Cressida say?” Colin asked, walking up to her and putting a hand on her back where the fabric was nothing more than a sheer covering.

Y/N could feel the heat of his skin and the soft skin of his hand and suddenly wanted him to just go away and never speak to her again because it would make things so much easier.

“Nothing that wasn’t true,” Y/N said softly, a stray tear escaping her eye and dripping on to her cheek. She felt Colin still and knew he’d heard at least some of what Cressida had said. “You heard, didn’t you?” Y/N asked quietly.

Colin didn’t answer for a moment. “I... I heard the last few sentences.”

Y/N laughed humourlessly. “Of course, you did,” she said, her laugh mixing with sobs. She turned around to face her best friend with tears in her eyes.

Colin looked at her, stunned by the broken expression on her face. In the years he’d known her, the only time he’d seen her that broken had been when her mother had passed away and she’d sobbed into his arms all night. “Y/N/N...”

“No,” Y/N stepped to the side, away from Colin’s outstretched hand. “No, I’m sorry.” She inhaled sharply. “I can’t... I can’t do this. I know - I can’t.”

Colin lunged forward and grabbed Y/N’s wrist as she turned to go, yanking her to a halt and forcing her to look at him. “Y/N, wait.”

“What, Colin? So, you can make fun of the fact that I’ve been on love with my best friend since I was sixteen?”

“No, I just... I need an explanation - I need someone to explain because my head is spinning,” Colin replied. “I don’t understand.”

Y/N sniffed, looking down at the grass. “You own my heart, Colin,” she said simply. She looked up. “When I dream of my future it's with you. You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with - the one I see myself loving until I die.”

Y/N paused, swallowing down the tears that wanted to fall. She had to say this now, to get it over with and make it clear. Even though it was physically hurting her. “And I know you don’t feel the same way so, we can just leave this here. Nothing else has to be said about it. I’ll leave and we don’t have to speak of this again - or even see each other if that’s what you want.”

Colin said nothing. He was too stunned and surprised by the sudden confession and the events of the past few days to form a sentence. Y/N nodded sadly, taking his silence as her answer, and left the gardens.

She tried to hide her tear-stained face and broken heart as she emerged back into the main party. She’d arrived with the Bridgerton’s and had no way of getting home without them. Y/N spotted Anthony near the entrance and quickly made her way over to him, desperate to leave before anyone cornered her or spoke to her.

“Anthony,” Y/N said softly, nudging his arm.

Anthony turned around as the people he had been talking to walked off. It took him all of thirty seconds to take in her teary eyes, her shaking hands and the broken look on her face. “Y/N...”

“I’d like to go home, please,” she said quietly, her voice breaking on the last few words.

Anthony, to his credit, didn’t ask why. He nodded and took her arm, steering her out the garden. He caught Benedict as they passed, the two sharing a quick and quiet conversation. She caught the pitying stare Benedict gave her, the simple action making her tears free fall once again.

The carriage they had arrived in wasn’t waiting out front for them. Anthony looked around for it but saw no sign.

“I’ll be back, are you alright to stay here?”

“I’ll be fine,” Y/N replied, nodding.

Anthony squeezed her shoulder and walked off with a determined stride to find their carriage.

“Y/N!”

Y/N closed her eyes and turned around. “Colin, don’t -”

Colin skidded to a halt in front of Y/N, scattering the pebbles of the driveway with his sudden stop. He was panting, as if he’d ran from the garden to the driveway without stopping.

“Just, listen,” he said, cutting her off. “I... I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say.”

“I know, you don’t like me, it’s fine -”

“Will you,” Colin walked forward until he was inches away from her, “just listen?” He took her gloved hand and held it in his. “I didn’t say anything because you caught me entirely off guard. The past few days have been chaos and I need a moment to think. Because the last thing I expected was you to declare your love to me in a garden on a random Thursday. The truth is, Y/N, is that I have loved you ever since we had our wedding in the gardens of my house.”

Y/N let out a snort of laughter despite her tears. “I thought you didn’t want me,” she said softly, looking up at him. “Why would you? I don’t deserve you -”

“That,” Colin said, putting a hand on Y/N’s cheek and wiping away the tears with the pad of his thumb, “sounds suspiciously like the words of a Cowper. Y/N, I love you. I thought you didn’t want me!”

Y/N laughed tearfully and leant into Colin’s hand, still resting on her cheek. “We’re idiots.”

“That we are,” Colin agreed, nodding. “Y/N... the way I feel when I’m with you... there is nothing on this earth that is comparable. I’ve been waiting my entire life for you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I thought Marina would be the one to make me forget you but every time I looked at her... I thought of you. I thought about how much I want to kiss you -”

“Then kiss me,” Y/N said, her voice not much more than a whisper. “And make it a good one, Colin.”

And suddenly his lips were on hers and there was a hunger and a need as he kissed her. His hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her against his chest. Y/N’s hand went to the back of his head, her fingers combing through his curls. She could feel his heart pounding and could feel the warmth from his skin as his hand moved up her back.

It was years of waiting and pining and wanting the other. Y/N needed Colin like she needed to breathe, and Colin needed Y/N like he needed water to live.

Y/N reluctantly pulled away from Colin, her hand still in his hair. She rested her forehead against his. “I love you.”

Colin rested his forehead on hers. He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again, staring at her. His hand was on her waist and the other one was on the back of her neck, stroking the skin gently. “I love you too.”

“So... are we organising another wedding?”

Y/N dropped her head on to Colin’s shoulder at the sound of Anthony’s voice and groaned loudly.  “Seriously, Anthony?!”

“You two kissed in the driveway,” Anthony pointed out, crossing his arms and attempting to look intimidating despite the stupid grin on his face. “Now, are we going or staying, because I’ve still yet to find our carriage.”

“We can stay,” Y/N replied, her hand entwined with Colin’s. “And when we walk back in there, we’re going to break the Ton.”

[dollypopup]

Marina, Polin, and the False Narrative of Good Intentions

or: Fanon has Failed You

we're taking a real deep dive, babes.

bring a snorkel

Episode 1:

We are introduced to Bridgerton, Lady Whistledown first. She has the very first lines, talking about the new debutantes coming before the queen. Penelope expresses immense nervousness about this, even after Prudence faints and she writes of the blunder in her sheet, likely grateful she doesn't have to spend too much time on herself when she can highlight Prudence's fainting. In the very first mention of Marina, it's a conversation between Portia and Lady Cowper, about how Portia is taking Marina, a 'distant cousin of my husband's' in as an act of 'charity'. LC replies that she has always been quite charitable, which Portia exclaims is what Lady Whistledown should have written about, instead of 'erroneously writing that she shall only have three ladies under her care.'

That's when Penelope comes to Portia with a plea, using Marina's upcoming arrival as an excuse for her to defer.

"Unless you should like to have only 3 young ladies under your care, I should gladly sit this season out." "Penelope is nervous" "I am not nervous, Mama-" "What she is is two stone heavier than she aught to be." Phillipa: "Mmm, those blemishes on her face are quite difficult to conceal. Perhaps some lead and arsenic would help" "Should you allow me to defer but a year, just as Lady Bridgerton has done for Eloise, I may remain dedicated to my studies"

she is denied. Portia dismisses Marina to Lady Cowper, talking about how she couldn't be competition with her daughters. Marina walks in and Penelope, as though in relief, says "Oh, she's beautiful."

Because Penelope, as of this moment, only sees Marina as a tool with which to get what she wants: invisibility. We know that's what she wants based on her and Eloise's conversation in the daffodils, in which she tells her

Penelope: "No one truly notices me. I suppose that is what I like. When you are invisible, you can have all the amusement you want without any of the expectations popularity brings. It. . .frees you.” Eloise: “Do you think that is why Whistledown remains anonymous?” Penelope: “Perhaps.”

Lady Whistledown and Marina, in this moment in time, have the exact same purpose: they serve as shields. Shields that keep Penelope from being seen, from being noticed, and hopefully to give her more time. Penelope is grateful for this, LW starts taking shots at the Queen by taking shots at Daphne, saying she was falling from the grace of being named the diamond. Instead, she thrusts Marina to the forefront of the ton, declares her the true diamond, and sits relatively gratefully through Marina's flurry of attention.

Until it comes to Colin. The scene in the Featherington drawing room in which Colin comes to Penelope after calling on Marina and says it's a 'most dreadful sonnet indeed', to which she quips her famous 'Lord Byron he is not', thus making Colin laugh before he bids her good day, and she looks at him on his way out. This has often been discussed as a scene in which Penelope is starstruck that she made him laugh, but I propose something else.

This?

This is a look of concern and sadness.

What Lady Cowper had said had been foreshadowing, now Marina is literal competition for the center of Penelope's affections.

Which, let's give him some POV here

Let's talk Colin

Even in episode one, Penelope at the ball was watching Colin, a look which is mirrored later on by how Colin looks at Marina for the first time, asking who she is. He quickly joins the dance floor right next to her, clearly curious. Curiosity is a huge part of Colin's character that often gets overlooked, in fact. His wanting to travel is rooted in it. His room is FULL of Greek mythology, the first place he visits is Greece. Colin is drawn to Marina's newness, and also how pretty she is. He likes her pretty naturally. And she also clearly likes him. Even after the other suitors slough off, Colin stays.

Marina isn't pretending, here. Look at her. She finds him funny, he's turned toward her. We find out later that she's been there for about a month, at this point. As far as Marina knows, she was sent there against her will, because she doesn't WANT to be with Portia and her snooty high society attitude. Even still, Colin acts as reprieve. He comes to visit her and cheers her, she likes a lot about him, in fact, as we learn later, but let's go back to episode 1, the now.

And then we see Marina accept (and mourn) the fact that she's pregnant.

This is why she didn't come to the Vauxhall Ball, claiming illness, and Varley brings Portia the clean sheets. Portia goes to confront Marina, she'd been there for over a month and hadn't bled, accuses her of 'revolting recklessness', says she'll keep it under wraps only so her own daughters won't suffer, and when Marina informs that she doesn't want any of this, in particular her hoity superiority, Portia slaps her.

Slaps her.

As horrible as Portia and the Featheringtons are to Penelope, they have never once laid a hand on her.

Marina is made Other from the first moment she walks on screen. She is unwelcome in the Featherinton house. Even Penelope really only cares about her insofaras she's useful. In fact, episode 1 is Penelope's first taste of what her debut would be like without Marina, and in it, Colin comes to her rescue when Cressida is being mean. Penelope didn't dance at the first ball Marina was at, but she *does* when Marina's gone.

For Marina, this is a horrible night. For Penelope, it's fantastic. Simon and Daphne even became a thing, and Penelope is seen observing them. Not only did she get to dance with Colin, but she also got her gossip. This proves she doesn't necessarily need or can utilize Marina as a shield.

From Episode 1, we see the start of the divide, even before anything else, the show pits them against one another.

Which takes us to Episode 2

We open with Penelope remarking that it is 'disturbing' and Phillipa and Prudence telling on her to Portia by informing that she has questions about Marina's condition. And then

"How did it happen, Mama? Is there to be a baby?"

"Why is Miss Thompson to be kept away?" "Because her condition is catching!" [to which Penelope responds with silent astonishment]

We then have her with Eloise, walking arm in arm as Eloise complains about Daphne and Simon, talking about how being pretty and having nice hair isn't an accomplishment, and that going to university is, essentially: a lament of societal misogyny. Penelope is not only clearly disengaged with her, but even exasperated. Eloise remarks that Penelope did not listen to a word she says, which is true, and Penelope ignores that, too, except to grab her by the elbow, and tell her that she knows someone with child, and that they're not married.

This conversation is comedic, yes, but it's also interesting considering we know Colin and Marina are involved, and that Penelope's curiosity for how Marina came to be with child (outside of the obvious practical reasons for wanting to know for her own sake) doesn't stem from friendship with Marina, but rather desire and curiosity for how it affects Colin.

"She is not married" "How did she become with child if she's not married?" "I do not know. But I will find out." "You must! Otherwise, how can we make sure it never happens to us? We have accomplishments to acquire."

Penelope, even here, knows that they don't want the same accomplishments. There's a rift forming here, too. Penelope is a year ahead of Eloise, already out in society, and she's writing Lady Whistledown. As far as she's concerned, her accomplishments are to get married. Her opinion of being out in society has changed: she still wants to be invisible, but not to stay with Eloise, but instead to continue Lady Whistledown, and perhaps get married. She says so later in the series, in which she tells Eloise that people have mature problems, problems more important than some silly writer, problems like getting married.

But to who?

Three guesses.

Colin's next scene is when Eloise asks how babies are made, to which he gives his classic 'Have you ever visited a farm?' response, and cheekily teases that he and Benedict are off to take their sticks out, 'for a round of fencing!' and once again, though comedic, it's also meant to serve a second function: he becomes a suspect. That's a very dramatic way to put it, I know, but as of now, it's not revealed who the other half of Marina's bun in the oven is, and it very well *could* be Colin.

A fact Penelope likely suspects. So, she MUST know how babies are made, because she agrees with Eloise on this: she does have accomplishments to acquire. I propose to us that instead of the 'Penelope was so selfless! She would have let Colin marry Marina so long as Marina wasn't lying to him and trying to trap him' narrative, something a bit more complicated is afoot

Penelope wants Colin. She knows she can't get involved in his current romance with Marina, but she wants him all the same. The dance they shared solidifies that for her. They're friends, she's been in love with him since she met him, and now she's *able* to get married. And she wants it to be to him.

And all her actions from there are stained with that information, including the final reveal.

It's in the middle of Episode 2, well over a month that Marina's been in Mayfair, that we have our first scene of Penelope and Marina together. We open with Marina reading letters, tearstained in her hands.

She hides them immediately under the blankets and Penelope comes in saying she found some sweets and that Marina might be able to eat them when everyone else was off at the Ball. Marina, gratefully, invites her into the room so that they may share, to which Penelope is clearly pleased.

"I hear they have decided not to send you home to your papa." "I dare say he is relieved. I can only imagine how he will react to- "Your condition? Marina, may I ask- how did it happen?"

Penelope didn't come to Marina out of the goodness of her heart at all. She came to get information. Because curiosity is also an inherit part of Penelope's character, just as it is for Colin. Penelope's reasons for wanting to know are three fold: for the sake of knowing (it's good information to have, knowing how babies are made), for Whistledown if it's a good story, and for Colin.

Marina goes on a beautiful story about George, and we, at the same time as Penelope, realize Marina is still in love with her soldier boy, who she believes is in Spain, and in a moment of immense trust, passes the letters to Penelope for her to read.

But Penelope is only relieved. It settles two of the three, clears Colin from being the father and provides her good information for Whistledown, which she doesn't get publish, likely realizing that all the secrecy means it's a big deal, but she still doesn't know how one comes to be with child.

She laments this with Eloise immediately after. Snarks that Marina said it was 'Love' and Elosie informing that made no sense, to which Penelope agrees, saying her mama had 3 children and love had nothing to do with it. Eloise then asks, in a moment of empathy no one else has granted Marina,

"Well, what else did she say? Was she not frightened?" "More. . .sad, than frightened. But there may be a chance for her to have a happy ending yet, I suppose. She wants to escape to the country where she and her love may marry."

At this, Penelope is happy. She's glad that Marina will be out of the way and also that Marina will get to be with someone else. She isn't cruel, she wishes Marina well.

She just doesn't wish Marina well with Colin.

Episode 3 has Penelope running mail errands for Marina since Marina's in confinement. With no letter in hand, she delivers her the bad news, to which Marina clearly is despondent, wondering when a letter from Spain would arrive. Penelope soothes her by informing that he's on the front lines and it's difficult for letters. "If your love is as great as your previous letters state, surely he will write back to you soon. Or perhaps even better, he is already on his way back to you here, to come and take you home."

Penelope takes on her mother after she's caught with Marina and scolded, saying that Marina's been there for ages, and it isn't fair. She leaves, and Portia insists that Marina find a husband. There is no choice for denial, here, Portia makes that clear, and Penelope takes the news unhappily from the door.

Looks like she isn't out of the woods, yet.

Because even underlying Penelope's compassion, there's a second motive. Penelope is just like Portia: she wants Marina gone, too. She just has a different, very contrasting way of accomplishing that goal, but she's making strides toward it.

She writes of Marina rejoining society, that she will be at the new exhibit. When Portia tries introducing Marina to an older man, she silently pleads for Penelope to help her and she tries to come to her rescue. In the end, Marina tells him off herself, and Penelope and Marina are united against Portia. As of now, there is nothing that really contests them. Even still, Marina acts as something of a shield for Penelope, something she is sure to notice. With Marina in the house, Penelope receives less of Portia's cruelty, and even when she's scolded, Marina gets worse of it.

As of now, Marina and Colin were a brief flirtation that took place at the beginning of her coming to Mayfair. She enjoyed his company, but she's also not suffering without it, clearly uninterested in rejoining society or getting a husband who isn't George. Being pregnant has given Marina a new dream: one in which a man she loves will return from war to help her raise their family. Even if she was open to a new love at the start of the season, she clearly doesn't care or wants to find a husband who isn't George. She tells Portia as much, that she will not bow down to Portia's schemes. She has a man who loves her, and she intends to marry him.

Portia is the instigator here, even though fandom has made Marina the villain. PORTIA insists Marina go out in society. PORTIA writes the fake letter. PORTIA is who twists Marina's arm, verbally and physically abuses her, and locks her up until she can foist her onto some decrepit man and be done with her. PORTIA is who speaks aloud Marina's doubts of George not loving her back because he hasn't sent a letter to her.

Even though Penelope and Portia's goals are the same, their methods are MILES apart. Penelope *does* have compassion for Marina, wants her to have her love story with George, and she tries to help her because she recognizes it as the path of least resistance. Portia meddles far too much, which is her downfall every time.

When a 'letter from Spain' arrives, Penelope brings it to Marina and nervously asks what it says. She's excited for the confirmation that George loves Marina back and that he'll come to take her away or marry her. When Marina falls heavily to the bed, crying, Penelope asks if he'd been wounded. Marina tells her that he pretends there was nothing between them, that he desires nothing to do with "our- my situation."

Look at the expression on Penelope's face, here.

As Marina sobs, wails, Penelope picks up the letters to read them for herself and Portia congratulates her and Varley for their efforts, justifying that Marina had to learn the truth of men, eventually.

And then we're halfway through the season

Marina starts this halfway point as a new woman. When she mourned the idea of George, she mourned a failed love story, and she also mourned herself. When she said 'My situation' she accepted that the only person who would truly help her out of this is herself. She's inspected by Lord Rutledge terribly, he asks to see her teeth as Portia gives an elevator pitch, essentially making it seem that Marina was defective but, look, she has some good parts, too! Marina informs that she's had suitors calling all week (so we return to the romance situation at the beginning with a wide net) and Portia informs they'll take too long, considering so much time has passed. That she needs someone who won't ask questions when a baby comes out 3 months early, even if they married her the next day.

Obviously, Marina's in a horrible situation. This is nightmare levels of awful. She's been abused in so many ways, treated terribly. I don't think anyone could blame her for being upset. Penelope asks her if she'd like her to stay in, but Marina refuses, and Penelope doesn't push it. [Sidenote, this is also when Albion Finch comes to call on Phillipa, and we see Portia 'rewarded' (in her mind) for her efforts in keeping Marina out. She tells Mr. Finch that Marina isn't taking visitors, but he informs he's here to see Phillipa, to which Portia expresses wonder. To her, where her entire motivation is getting her daughters married, having seen Marina as an obstacle in such, she is vindicated through this]

Penelope and Eloise have another conversation, in which Penelope listens to Eloise talking about the house being abuzz w/ Daphne's prospects, to which Penelope says 'well, she *has* to marry eventually' after Eloise says she wishes Daphne would stay on the shelf forever so that Eloise doesn't have to be next in line [Eloise seeing Daphne very similarly to how Penelope saw Marina, in that way]. Eloise laments that she wants to fly, then praises Lady Whistledown as a brilliant woman of business, praise Penelope soaks up.

Penelope guides Eloise away from her attempts to rope her into schemes unmasking LW (who we now know is Penelope herself) and Eloise says she can tell her Mama she's sick and that she's caught what Marina has. Penelope informs that Marina is recovering, and that "It would be cruel of me not to be by her side when she comes back out. I shall cheer you on your endeavors, however."

The question is: has Penelope truly formed a friendship with Marina, or does she have a second reason, once again, for being beside Marina and keeping an eye on her when she re-enters once more?

Well, it surely means nothing that the next scene is Penelope and Colin having yet another moment. Surely.

Marina, being dangled about and clearly unhappy on the floor. Penelope, looking out to the ballroom. Colin comes behind her, to her delight, and talks about the host being fussy. "Do you think if he goes to bed, we all have to leave?" he asks, making Penelope laugh and clearly glad that he did so. To Colin, he likely imagines this to be the end of the correspondence, but Penelope surprises him. Like the first time, she opens up to him, shows him her wit, and they have a moment of snark, looking at each other for a beat too long after he compliments her with 'What a barb!'

Who breaks the moment? Penelope does. She doesn't continue. She doesn't take the compliment and run with it, she doesn't prolong the conversation. She looks down, and Colin changes the subject, sensing she's perhaps uncomfortable, or at least done with the moment, and says he's been trying to get in front of Marina all night, and Penelope says all Marina's interested in is a swift rescue, which inspires Colin to go after her.

This is their first moment together since her confinement, we know since he asks how she is, and from jump he gives her an out from a man who treats her like a piece of meat, and he makes a joke right away to ease her. Colin here is exactly to Marina as Colin was to Penelope when Cressida threw her drink on her: he's the knight in shining armor, and he likes it that way. Charm dialed up to ten, he and Marina re-hit it off immediately, and she's grateful to him. Tells him to spin her off and maybe she'll recover.

And Colin does. He spins her over and over again, in circles around the entire dancefloor, and Marina smiles, and Marina grins, and Marina laughs, something we haven't seen her do since she's thrown in confinement.

Can we blame her for wanting Colin? For falling for him? Very often we talk about how he was her only option, but the truth is that Marina liked Colin from the start, and she likes him here, too. She just found out that a man she'd been in love with is forsaking her, wants nothing to do with her. She's been inspected and slapped and degraded. And Colin is kind. Colin is genuine and earnest and fun. Colin brings her to life, again. She gushes about him to Penelope as soon as they're home.

And Penelope hates it.

Her problems are not that Marina is trapping Colin. She doesn't care about the logistics of the ruse. She tells Marina anyone but Colin. It isn't that Marina's pregnant, and it isn't that Marina lies.

It's that it's Colin. Penelope wants Colin and Marina wants him, too.

And that brings them back to where they started. It didn't matter what empathy and compassion they'd cultivated: Penelope is not Marina's friend. Penelope had *never* been Marina's friend. She was her ally insofar as Marina was going to live a story that left Penelope free for her own happily ever after with Colin, and as cruel as it is, it gives Penelope DEPTH. She is not just an altruistic darling willing to watch a man she loves marry her cousin. She does literally EVERYTHING she can to keep it from happening. That's her motive. He's her motive. It's Penelope's love for Colin and her hopes that they can be together that leads her to expose Marina.

In this conversation, she tries anew. Her hopes on George now dashed, and the confinement period over, Penelope tries to sway Marina by making Colin seem like a bad match. She can't think of negative qualities to counter Marina's compliment-fest (kind, funny, excellent with children), but informs that Colin is too young to marry. That she needs someone to propose soon. And Marina says he's not like other young men, that he's eager, that he saved her, that she thinks he will propose soon.

What Penelope never says is that everything Marina thinks of Colin, Penelope already knows. She knows Colin is funny, and kind, and an accomplished dancer, and excellent with children, and that he saved her, too, at Vauxhall, and that Marina opened up to her so she'll open up the same but she doesn't: she never once tells Marina that she loves him.

Because Penelope is not Marina's friend. But Marina *is* Penelope's. She says she'll be able to stay in town, gleeful that since Penelope is close to Eloise, so they will remain friends, as sisters. Marina doesn't see the secondary motives in Penelope's actions, trying to steer her away from Colin, nor does she assume anything of Penelope. How could she? Penelope has been nothing but nice to her in a house of cruelty. Penelope doesn't deride her, Penelope doesn't hit her, and Penelope helped her with George.

But Penelope doesn't want her there, same as everyone else in Featherington House. And she doesn't necessarily want Marina to be happy. She wants Marina to be out of the picture. She'd prefer if that was with her happy, but she doesn't need Marina's wellbeing. Just her absence. Or, at the very least, she's going move bitch, get out the way.

She begins thinking of how that will happen immediately after Marina leaves. She paces her room until Eloise throws rocks at her window, and this is when we get their fight.

Eloise comes with a theory about Lady Whistledown , going on and on about what she believes, and Pen cuts her off.

"Eloise I do not care! People have real problems, mature problems, problems that have nothing to do with the secret identity of some silly writer." "And you are so mature now?" "Well I am of age, I am out in society, therefore I have more important, mature things to worry about." "Like what?" "Like marriage," "You should not care about marriage.: "What if I do? I cannot expect you to understand, not everyone can be a pretty Bridgerton!"

Eloise runs off and Penelope immediately regrets it, because her fury isn't at Eloise, but rather projecting her frustrations at Marina and Colin's blossoming relationship at Eloise. When Penelope says she cares about marriage, that is only a half truth. She cares about marriage to Colin. Very specifically to Colin.

Episode 5 sees more of the same. When Colin comes to visit Marina, Penelope is displeased. She looks on as Colin brings Marina flowers, and Marina finds them beautiful. This is not a woman who would humbly have allowed Colin to marry whoever would make him happy, a selfless woman who had nothing but the best intentions toward Colin and Marina's love story.

She doesn't care if Colin would be happy with Marina. She wants him to be happy with her.

And listen to me very clearly: I like her more for it. Yeah, I said it. Oh, it would be easy if Penelope was a sweet darling, an innocent doll who tragically falls on the sword, wanting nothing more than for her dear friend to live a beautiful love story with someone who would appreciate him. No. She believes, knows Colin would be happier with her (and, ultimately, she ends up being right in that regard) and she wants him to be with her, not with Marina. This is not an excuse for Penelope. She doesn't do good things. Her intentions are not noble. What she wants is self-serving and how she goes about it is underhanded and secretive and manipulative. And I. Like. Her. For. It. Enough of the narrative that Marina was a villain, an antagonist in Penelope's love story.

Penelope was the antagonist in Marina's.

But she is also the hero in her own. From the very beginning, the narrative made it a one or the other situation. Even when they were friends, they weren't really friends. But through it all, Marina had no idea.

Because Penelope never told her.

She spoke in circles, said Colin loved to travel, encouraged him to do so in front of Marina, said Marina didn't like tomatoes when Colin joked that he'd bring her some as a surprise to break up the monotony of bouquets. Both Colin and Marina are surprised that she's saying anything in this scene, Marina moreso than him, because she thinks Penelope is her friend and would encourage this. Penelope knows how much Marina likes Colin, and how important time is with her situation. Marina gives her the 'girl, what are you doing????' face when Penelope clearly encourages Colin to travel. Colin informs that some things in London he'd want to see more than the world, and looks at Marina. They share a moment and Penelope rushes off after her mother for Plan. . .is it D, at this point? Plan D.

Penelope recognizes Marina and Colin like each other, so she goes to her mum. asks if it's a smart decision. She feigns caring for Marina. That she is ONLY worried because Colin is young and he's years off from marriage (which she doesn't really believe, or she wouldn't be saying anything) and that Marina simply doesn't have that kind of time.

It does what she wants. Portia comes to Marina, doubling down on Lord Rutledge, saying she has until Saturday to accept his proposal. Marina refuses, clearly disliking him, and Portia admonishes her.

"Is this about Mr. Bridgerton?" "He likes me! He will propose to me, I'm sure of it." "That boy is barely out of leading strings, he has two older brothers and they're still running from the yoke. You are to cut Colin Bridgerton immediately, or I will lock you in this very room until Lord Rutledge makes you his wife."

Marina's smart, she makes a deal. She recognizes how a marriage to Colin could do a world of good for Portia's daughters, and she pleads for just a few days. Before Saturday. That he would propose. And it's only now, in this moment, that Marina makes a plan that has anything to do with Colin. Only after already liking him and envisioning a second chance romance with him, and having a good life with him.

It isn't that Colin's her only other choice. Marina had several unhappy choices. But Colin is the choice she *wants* to make. She has a time limit now, hence the deception, but it's rooted in her attraction to him. "You will seduce him." is what Portia says, but for Marina, it's not as dramatic as all that. She already likes Colin. and Colin already likes her. So maybe they speed it all along, but it's not made through falsification.

But for Penelope, who listens at the door, this is now the proof that it's becoming serious, and that this plan, too, won't work.

Plan E, it is. Chuck her off to anyone new. See what sticks. She points out multiple men at the next ball they're at as prospects. This is Marina's face when Penelope described him as pleasant.

and then that another has kind eyes. To which Marina replies, honestly, rather relatably. That she doesn't know them or care about any of them, and that she's looking for Colin.

Only now. In the middle of Episode 6, just about at the 11th hour, does Penelope ask Marina not to pick him. This is the first time. That she can do this to anyone else. She attempts Plan H: a plea for morality. That she doesn't want him to be tricked and deceived. That she's known him forever. That Marina shouldn't do this to a good man, but Marina asks if Penelope would rather she marry a bad man, then.

And the truth is, Penelope would. Penelope would rather that Marina marry a bad man than marry Colin, Penelope would rather Marina do anything rather than marry Colin. Because this entire situation is all born because Penelope loves him.

This is her way of fighting for him. It's not her way of being altruistic, it's not her way of wanting to help him, it's her way of ensuring her own happily ever after. And no, that's not a 'Penelope is such a darling angel baby' take, but it IS a human one.

And the worst of it is that Marina would have backed off of Colin if Penelope just said something earlier. Think about how their friendship was. Penelope could have informed Marina that she liked Colin when Marina was gushing about George. She could have opened up. Or when Marina was getting suitors again after her re-debut in society. Marina was rife with suitors. She liked Penelope. But Penelope never spoke up. There was an entire month and a half Penelope could have talked to Marina, and then another in her confinement.

But Marina only realizes Penelope doesn't actually support her after Penelope says not to do this to a good man. That Penelope isn't happy for her in the least. She assures Penelope that she'll be a good wife to him, that he'll be good to her in return, and that, really, it isn't Penelope's business. Which it isn't except for the fact that she makes it her business. Lord Rutledge gets engaged, and Colin becomes Marina's last way out. But, let's be real: he was was also the only one she wanted to entertain.

Oh, my sweet, darling baby boy. Earnest describes him to a T. He doesn't know he's the rope in Marina and Penelope's tug of war (hell, Marina doesn't even know someone else is pulling for him), and he gets denied a narrative in so much of this. When Marina says she's feeling faint and to find someplace more private, Colin doesn't even THINK she has alternative motives. He's concerned, takes her to a different room.

Watching this scene, you see how utterly endearing he is. He leaves the door open until she encourages him to close it, which he does post haste. He smiles at her and keeps a respectable distance. He's truly been raised to be a gentleman, and he clearly respects her. When she says they shouldn't be alone together, he finally realizes what she wants from him. When she takes a step toward him, it's subtle, but he leans back. Gets nervous. Steels his face, drops his expression. When she goes in for the kiss, he makes a few minute jerks forward, for a grand total of 2 and a half seconds, and then cuts it all off.

"You are a Lady. I must maintain your honor. And mine. No matter how. . .tempting, otherwise."

Marina, after hearing this, is stupefied. Tells him he's right. That she's a lady. She's unmarried. And he is. . .a gentleman.

And she knows Penelope is right. That he's good. She just didn't know how good Colin actually is. And in this moment, she accepts her lot. She walks away. Her last chance, her last option, and upon realizing that Colin is kind and earnest and a good, honorable person, she agrees with Penelope. She doesn't want to lie to him, to trick him, she's about to let him go. But Colin offers her to marry him, and she accepts.

Because wouldn't you? Wouldn't anybody?

Hell, her exact words are "I would be delighted to marry you." and she means it. Not as a last resort, but genuinely. We don't do Colin enough justice in this romance.

He goes on about how their long engagement is romantic, that she deserves a grand celebration, and you can tell she enjoys that, but also that she knows she'll never have it. This is where she realizes how different they are, that he's a dreamer and she's a pragmatist. And that she'll have to change his mind but can't ask for it outright.

Marina has affection for Colin. Even in season 2 we can see that, when she rightfully tells him they're in the past and that he should focus on those in his life who already make him happy. How could she not have affection for him when he's genuinely so fucking good?

And speaking of, the way he defends her to Anthony still remains one of the hottest scenes Colin takes part in. When he says he's marrying Marina for love, and not because he compromised her, he means that. When he calls Anthony an ass for insisting he go to brothels and that his interest in Marina is just lust, he's genuinely offended. Anthony says that Violet is distraught and that he won't give Colin his blessing,

"Sorry to disappoint you." "You have. In so many ways."

Colin goes to see his mum immediately after. He takes her hand and, without saying it, he all but screams 'why don't you see me?' Reminds he was courting Marina all season after Violet says she was glad she knew before Whistledown. That she was too wrapped up in Daphne to notice.

Colin wants to be seen, to be taken seriously, and it really is, as of that moment, that the only people who do so outwardly are Marina and Pen. The difference between them isn't down to looks or attitude or anything like that at all: Marina pursues Colin, she makes it clear she's interested, and Penelope doesn't. It's her greatest character flaw and the crux of her story, that she never says what she wants, that she doesn't speak up for herself. Eloise even points it out about her (and you know in friend fights they cut deep). only when she learns to speak aloud what she wants does she get her love story and happiness in society.

Penelope is near in tears when Colin announces his engagement to Marina. But the thing about Penelope is that she's persistent.

As she walks in to Marina, Prudence, and Phillipa talking about how all their fortunes are about to change with the new engagement, Penelope snarks 'Especially Colin's' to which Marina replies by complimenting her, saying she looks lovely. Penelope replies not to mock her, and Marina says

"Do not mock me." "It pains me you should think every compliment a mockery." "Do not pity me either." "I do not pity you, Penelope. I respect you. You have been a true friend since I arrived here, and I rely on your continued friendship and sympathy." "My continued silence, you mean? You think so little of me I cannot bear it. I never would have made my way through this awful tangle without your kindness. Please, do not tell me you regret it." "I would never bring scandal to you or our family if that is what you ask. But I cannot condone your actions." "I want you as my friend, Pen. Can you not try to understand and be a little pleased for me?"

Marina leaves for her modiste appointment and Phillipa talks about how they'd make beautiful babies together, to which Prudence laughs and reminds that he's not the father. Penelope snaps at them, saying Marina makes a fool of Colin already, but

but

does she not do the same to him when she outs the information later on? I like Penelope, and I ship Polin. In fact, I ship Polin exclusively, in the sense that I don't actually ship Colin or Penelope with anyone else, but this entire season is proof of Penelope's fuck ups with Marina and with Colin, both, and her justification for her actions, a thing Portia also does. She goes deeper and deeper into her disregard for Marina. Marina wants Penelope as a friend but Penelope doesn't care about Marina to that extent, even from the beginning. As Portia and Marina become more entwined in their joined ruse, Penelope sets her hopes on Violet noticing that Marina is pregnant, but Violet does her best to welcome Marina to the family, wanting to do right by Colin.

So, there goes plan G. Dire straits, then. Penelope finally has a moment alone with Colin. I've talked about the scene in which she tries to 'tell him' in a different meta, and this is already so impossibly long, but long story is that Penelope still doesn't say what she really means here. There's a narrative that Colin doesn't listen to her, but all season he listens to her. And all season, she never says what she actually wants to. When she tells him that Marina loves someone else, Colin assures he would be a hypocrite if it mattered to him that she had a romance before him. (good for you, bb boi) She doesn't tell him Marina's pregnant, which she writes in LW later on, but skirts around the subject until those precious few moments are gone.

And she lies. She says Marina loves George, still, but Marina has accepted that George wants nothing to do with her. Whether she loves him or not is outside of Penelope's knowledge. She just wants to throw whatever she can at the wall and see if it sticks, see if it breaks the engagement, and still have Colin look at her with fond eyes after the fact.

When Marina discovers them in the hallway, it's hard not to sympathize with her. She's soft when she tells Penelope Portia is looking for her, and she looks so tired. Colin apologizes for Anthony being so rude at dinner, and Marina confides in him. That her own father doesn't want her. That the Featheringtons cannot wait to be rid of her. That she thought she'd find acceptance with his family, but that was a foolish thought.

And she's right. Marina is, for all intents and purposes, fully alone. She has no one in her corner save herself. And save for Colin.

"Even your mother is just being polite." "I shall be your family, now. We shall make our own family, you and me."

And Marina wants that. So deeply, she wants that. With Colin, there's acceptance. She isn't trying to manipulate him, here, she's just hurt. Penelope has her own reasons, she loves Colin, he's a dear friend, and she doesn't want to see him hurt, and she wants him to be with her, but Marina's reasons are also poignant. Colin is the only person who made her welcome in the ton and continues to do so. Once Penelope turns her back on Marina, she just has him. And in his desire to do right by her, offers to elope.

When she says "I love you" to Colin, she's not lying. She's not trying to trick him, as is so often discussed. Is it an everlasting love? No. Is it a nonproblematic love? No. But she certainly loves what he's done for her, how he makes her feel, and she has admiration for who he is as a person. That's love, too.

This is the face of a relieved woman. Not a woman who just lied and schemed reveling in her success. This is a woman looking up to heaven, thanking God for this second chance. Just LOOK at her

We come back to Penelope, then, the day after, who feigns being sick and then runs to ransack Marina's room, looking for George's letters. (so to all the people mad at Eloise for rummaging through Penelope's room, well. . .I hope that same 'it's an invasion of privacy!' applies here, as well) Instead, she finds her duffel packed and knows they're going to elope. She searches more for George's letters and finds them, realizing one is forged.

So, Penelope waits for Marina, in her room, with the falsified letters (Plan I?), to inform her that the letter that broke Marina's heart was a forgery. She has proof that her mama faked the signature. Marina informs that it doesn't matter. George never replied to her letters.

"He has abandoned me. While Colin has embraced me." "I thought you loved him. George." "I was a fool. This changes nothing."

To which Penelope is aghast, watching Marina burn the letters, and when she asks what she'll do when Colin discovers, Marina is truthful. That she will live safe in the knowledge that Colin is a good and kind man, as he has proven to be, and that he'll take care of her and her baby. Which brings us to:

"What of him? What of Colin?"

And do I think some part of this truly is Penelope caring about Colin and his ultimate happiness? Yes. She does want what's best for him, and she does care deeply for him, but the truth of the matter is that in this, she's not doing it for him. Penelope is doing it for her. And that makes it more interesting. At every turn, every single one, Colin shows that he's infatuated w/ Marina. That he loves her, even. Nothing about his actions signify any different. And maybe it's not true love, and maybe it's a bid for him to feel useful, to feel listened to, to be taken seriously, but it's still how he feels.

The only person suffering, here, is Penelope. And Marina recognizes it for what it is. When she tells Penelope that her love is an unrequited fantasy, she has no reason to think otherwise. Penelope never opened up to her, all her criticisms are now revealed as her wanting Colin from jump, and Penelope all but said aloud she and Marina aren't friends. Marina told her to get out of her relationship, and none of us can pretend that we wouldn't do the same. Penelope is acting as though Marina is a scourge on Colin, but all Colin has done is make Marina feel cared for and wanted. We don't give him enough credit, I swear, because the reality is that how Colin is with Marina is a glimpse into how he loves. If he can forgive Marina lying to him for a good reason, he can forgive Penelope lying to him for a good reason. Marina was never Colin's endgame. Not once. It was always going to be Penelope.

And it's to show that Colin is a good man who fights for his partner, who listens, who has empathy, who wants to bring cheer, who jokes, who is wide-hearted and romantic, who puts his feelings in his hands and reaches out palms first. Give him his flowers. He was a real one with Marina. Through and through and he's gonna be a real one with Penelope. A real one to the max. This is Colin's baseline and it'll only dial up with Pen when we reunite in Season 3 but for now-

Marina says she'll be the executioner of Penelope's childish fantasy of loving Colin, but it's Penelope who's the executioner. Because even though she comes running to Eloise, even though she sobs and cries and did so much to ensure what she didn't want to happen wouldn't happen, in the end, ultimately, Penelope chooses herself. She doesn't choose Colin, she doesn't choose Marina.

Penelope chooses Penelope.

And she exposes Marina's secret. And she breaks up the engagement. By force. "Perhaps she thought she had no other option. Or perhaps she knows no shame." which is what Penelope wrote of Marina, also applies to herself in this case. When she sobs with Eloise, she's hurt by what Marina says to her, yes, but she's not weeping to mourn Colin and her one day maybe love story with him. Because she doesn't believe Marina, she doesn't think it's an unrequited fantasy. Why else expose Marina?

No, she's mourning herself. Mourning the person she one thought herself to be, and how that isn't the person that she is, that she would and can use Whistledown to get what she wants, that she has power, and how she would throw her own family and even herself under the bus for just the HOPE of her love story, and that all her intentions of fairness fly out the window because Penelope is human, and she was jealous, and she was mad.

And she continues to be. Further salt in the wound in Episode 7

"Miss Marina Thompson's recent fall from grace continues to echo through every drawing room in town days after it was revealed her engagement to Colin Bridgerton was nothing more than a sham. Of course, a Lady's disgrace does not merely tarnish her own name, like the tars on the Thames, it also leaves a smear on everyone nearby. While there is no parasol in the world strong enough to shelter a ruined woman, the fallen Miss Thompson can only hope she shall find a refuge somewhere."

Y'all

This is mean. This is twisting the knife. Portia knows it's game over. Marina is even refused from a charity room without a considerable donation. She's out of options. And it narrows and narrows around her.

And for Colin, denial isn't just a river in Egypt. He claims Lady Whistledown to publish lies and says Marina must be in agony, that he doesn't understand why he can't just visit her. Anthony informs that BECAUSE of Lady Whistledown, Colin is absolved from being the father, but if he comes near her, they will presume and he'll ruin the rest of the family for it. Even still, Colin goes to refuse, but Daphne interrupts. No one listens to him in this scene, and he's left to listen to how his family will fix what they perceive as his fuck up. He says he's sooo happy it's been settled, and storms off.

Once again, no one takes Colin seriously. He's right to point it out. Not even Penelope, as she took his decision from him just as everyone else did. In a way, Colin is also alone. I think that's what really tugged his heartstrings when Marina lamented no one wanting her around.

Colin's a hopeless romantic. In a way, he fabricated his own love story around what he wanted to hear and know. He says Leander swam each night in total darkness to see his love, and Daphne, now jaded, tells him Leander also drowned. She'll arrange a rendezvous, but she doesn't believe it'll be a love story, not really, not anymore. And Colin even though Colin seemed to be hopeful that it was a lie, when Daphne says that Marina's a stranger and that Whistledown knew Marina better than Colin did, Colin clarifies that Whistledown knew Marina's secrets.

Maybe he already knows it's true, believes it to be, but he doesn't want to see it.

"You must tell me that this Whistledown woman is mistaken, what she wrote, it cannot be true." "But it is." "You are. . .with child? I do not understand. We were to be wed. You- you said you loved me." "Colin, I hold you in the greatest esteem." "Esteem? You are a cruel woman indeed to stand here and talk of friendly affection as if you have not just committed a grave sin against me." "Speak not of sin, Mr. Bridgerton. I did not come here to be shamed by you, nor anyone else. I did not know better. You may think me a villain but I did what I thought I must. No one ever truly helped me or guided me in a different direction. I had no choice. I needed to wed. And you- you were the only man who offered me even a glimpse of happiness." "So I should feel flattered, then? Consider myself lucky that you chose me, lied to me, tried to trick me into a fraud of a marriage? I shall take my leave of you for the last time, Miss Thompson. . .You wish to know the cruelest part of your deception? If you had simply come to me and told me of your situation, I would have married you without a second thought. That is how in love I believed myself to be. But I see now that was all a lie."

This is such a fascinating conversation. It reveals more of Colin than a lot of other scenes he has does. For Colin, it's not Marina being pregnant or having come to the Ton already with child that bothers him, it's that she lied to him. He calls it a fraud of a marriage, says that she told him she loved him, and that he doesn't believe it now. One lie toppled the entire house of cards for him.

Which makes it all the more paramount that Penelope tells Colin that she's Whistledown. He shouldn't have to find out on his own, and in fact, finding out on his own would cause an IMMENSE rift between them. It would shatter his trust in her worse than learning about Marina lying to him. If Penelope instead, however, comes clean, comes to him with honesty, Colin would see that in of itself as an act of love and trust. For Colin, love is being honest. Love is being earnest. Love is being upfront. And even though Marina had every reason not to do so, to hide, to reveal to him after the fact, having lied to him is what really breaks his heart.

This is an opportunity for Bton to get some payoff in a reflection of a scene like this with Colin and Penelope. Because what so many of us Polin fans don't want to face is the fact that Penelope is ALSO keeping a life ruining secret from him. And what Marina says? Can we not also hear that in Penelope's voice? If the question is how they overcome it, the first part of that answer is by Penelope taking accountability. Coming clean.

And even though Marina has more that happens to her, this is the end of her and Colin's love story. From here, they don't really intersect. Marina does say to Daphne that Colin is a sweet boy, and for what it is worth, she is sorry, but they have very little beyond this. Until Season 2 when he visits her [we'll unpack that can of worms at a different time] Eloise comes to Penelope and asks how she's faring, Penelope says their mum swears they're ruined. But Penelope then asks about Colin, if he's in pieces, and Eloise assures that Colin will be fine as most men are, but that Whistledown has gone too far with the slander the sheet did to her family. The Featheringtons are asked to leave the luncheon, and Penelope walks off with them, realizing the true impact of Whistledown and what she's done for the first time.

One of which is Marina's brush with death. Disgraced, abandoned, and rejected, Marina drinks what she hopes is an abortive tea, and Penelope finds her on the floor after she comes to talk to her, perhaps to come clean, perhaps to make amends. Now that Colin is no longer a point of contention between them, Penelope can open her heart once more, and likely feels immensely guilty. In our final episode, Penelope is clearly feeling the weight of her actions, even when Marina apologizes to her after drinking the tea and recovering, is glad she can finally go home, and says Penelope was right. That Colin is a good man with a good heart. That Penelope was good to him, and one day, Colin will see it. It's the end of the season, now. Marina is more than ready to move on.

Enter Phillip Crane. The entire Phillip situation is tragic, how he has to tell Marina that George is dead, and how Marina has his letter as proof that George loved her, and that she thought him a villain. (Marina has a moment that I think will be reflected by Penelope in Season 3: 'I was wrong.' )

The next scene Penelope and Colin share is when he's singing for his family, his voice catching when he looks at her. Likely in gratitude or appreciation, but also this is another moment in which he looks at Penelope differently, their relationship subtly shifting. He realizes she was trying to tell him. He admires how good she is. He's touched by how she cares about him, how she tried to keep him from heartache. And she did. She really, really did.

She just also tried to keep herself from it, too.

But she couldn't. Because at the end of all of this, all these twists, these turns, and all the choices she makes 'for Colin'- he has to choose himself, too. And he chooses to leave, to escape, to heal, and to embrace his passions in travel. and this hurts Penelope, too, because it wasn't that she was trying to keep him from heartache, but rather to keep him for herself. Because she was trying to tell him she loved him.

Immediately following the end of his engagement that she orchestrated, she wanted to confess. In a way, Penelope underestimated Colin, didn't see him all season, the depth of his feelings or his gentle heart. Though she tried to keep him from heartache, heartache found him regardless. She denies his request for a dance, swallows her confession, and leaves. It hurts her that he doesn't want her, but she doesn't think of his perspective in it. To Penelope, Colin is not yet a person, but an idea. This is the first fragment in that image. Which is good. It has to shatter eventually, and it does so at the end of Season 2.

Daphne, the same woman Penelope tried to pit against Marina in the diamond wars at the start of the season becomes the only real ally Marina has. Her only true friend. And the reason Phillip comes and offers Marina marriage, thus keeping her from destitution. Penelope wasn't going to, even though she was sorry at the end. She cries after Marina walks past her without so much as a glance when she walks her way, stone faced, into a carriage with a complete stranger, her dead love's brother, to live the rest of her days in a completely new place.

And Penelope? Penelope engrosses herself into Lady Whistledown, and she continues correspondence with Colin from afar, as she is more comfortable doing, and she dreams of a someday, and she feels invincible, because at the end of the day, even though what she did was objectively not good, she got away with it. She leaves us with a smirk at the end of Season 1.

Which makes her even more bold in Season 2. Which will lead us up to her having to face actual consequences for her actions in S3, because in this entire season, not once does Penelope apologize, and in fact, the two people whom she causes the most harm to, both end up apologizing to her, completely unaware that the entire time, she'd been plotting to break them up from the very beginning

I don't think Penelope is evil, but Marina certainly isn't, either. To assume that Penelope felt betrayed by Marina, to pin the blame onto her, is to twist the narrative, and it has festered so long and so deeply into Polin, that we've seemingly completely forgotten.

Like it or not, the story with Marina serves important roles: it reveals the extent and sacrifices Penelope will go to and make for Colin, for herself, for her own happy ending, and for romance, it shows what a hopeless romantic Colin is, and how dearly he cares for others, how deeply he feels, and how desperately he wants to be heard. And, more than anything, it's the story of a woman who was thrust into circumstances that were bigger than her, that left her scrambling for answers, that revealed everyone else's cruelty in their interactions with her.

And that revealed ours, as well.

sometimes fanon festers for so long that it becomes what we swear is real, even if it isn't. it becomes a rot, in fact, manifesting in so many bad takes, particularly about Marina, in the Polin tag. we've all seen them. Penelope exposed Marina because she did it for Colin. Marina didn't care for Colin and only wanted to trap him. Colin was blind to what was in front of him all along. some of them are more cruel, people stating that Colin was an absolute idiot or that Marina was a heartless bitch.

It's enough of Marina being the Big Bad in Polin's love story. She isn't. Marina got dealt a horrible hand, and she navigated it with so much more grace than I ever could have. She endured physical abuse, verbal degradation, gaslighting, manipulation, derision, fake friends, and the death of her own love story to come out the other end a pragmatic woman with a kind heart, moving forward. Her experiences in Season 1 made her believe she had no Love Story to live. She loved, she lost, she tried again and it blew up in her face.

And she deserves our fucking sympathy

Her story is over in Bridgerton, but as Polin's love story continues, it's important to get a clean look at Penelope's intentions and how morally gray she truly is, which makes her all the more interesting and complex. It makes Polin's love story and their dynamics rich and nuanced and layered. Both Colin Bridgerton and Penelope Featherington said "I'll do anything for love"

we get to see just far that stretches

[fadingreveries]

Bridgerton S1E3: "Art of the Swoon" | Thoughts

❝ After Daphne catches the eye of a royal suitor, she turns to Simon for relationship advice. Lady Featherington tries to browbeat Marina into marriage. ❞

Find my reactions to other episodes of Bridgerton here and to episodes from other TV shows here! 🐝

Am I taking too much time out of my schedule to watch Bridgerton? Probably. Am I going to do it anyway? Yes, certainly. Time to move on to episode 3 where I share my thoughts as I watch through the series for the first time!

Not Daphne getting turned on by Simon licking a spoon 💀

An accurate representation of me doing the bare minimum and still being exhausted:

I love Daphne and Simon's smiles while joking around with each other, so precious

Daphne's little snort giggle and Simon grinning in response is so cute!

Daphne and Anthony trying to figure out how to light the stove but then settling on cold milk is honestly me not deciding to cook something and settling for a Nutella sandwich

Super cute that Anthony calls her "Daph" and is so protective over his sister

"Some people are not meant to be together, no matter how much we might wish otherwise" isn't that the truth or what?

I don't think I've mentioned this yet, but I love that Eloise has such a feministic view on life. It's really interesting to see her beliefs clash with those expected from a girl her age in that time period

Me to my brain trying to get it to stop wanting to watch Bridgerton and actually focus on studying for exams:

Aww, this scene between them was honestly adorable. Like look at them holding hands, how could you not ship them?

Okay, the fact that Simon didn't end up going to the opera to sleep with Siena must have something to do with the fact that he's slowly feeling closer to Daphne and doesn't crave the spontaneity that he gets during these encounters with different women 😏

Eloise being my favourite feminist character in this series:

Also I do kind of like the relationship that Eloise and Daphne have. They are two different girls with different viewpoints and priorities of life and while they do disagree on those, it's pretty clear how much they still care about one another

PLEASE, imagine getting the sex talk from your future love interest. Someone get these girls some sex education, stat

Also, I think Eloise and Benedict’s relationship is very precious in their own way. The fact that they bond over smokes in the middle of the night and confess their fears to the other is adorable

“I do not believe there could be a more ridiculous notion than that of us ever being friends” “You were a convenience… a diversion… but nothing more” OUCH SIMON, he's clearly pushing her away because he's caught the feels!

Honestly, if I didn’t know Anthony has Kate in season 2, I would’ve found his “I’m here because I miss you” to Siena cute

Can I just say that while I don't really like Siena, I do wish she deserves better than Anthony in this situation? While I don't like that she seems to be chastising Anthony for putting all his responsibilities to his family over her, I do like how she delivered the line and especially when she says "I shall always be the woman you may love in darkness, but never in the light of day" 😔

I feel kind of bad for Marina, it's a shame that Lady Featherington truly believed that manipulating and forging George's letters would be what was best for her

When Daphne steps out on the balcony in front of everyone and picked herself up after Simon broke her heart 😍 yesss girl

I'm not sure why it took me so long to finish watching episode 3 (probably because of school and work), but I really hope Simon and Daphne find their way back to each other soon. Hopefully, Simon realizes that he shouldn't fight his feelings for her and that Daphne feels the same way he does!

[faiseuse-d-histoires]

So very true.

Not to mention they stole elements from Daphne and Simon's story. In the book, Colin never had to help Penelope get a husband. He follows her one day, discover she is LW, they have the carriage scene, and then he wants to marry her and actually protects her, admires her for being a writer. LW in the books does not taunt the queen, does not accentuate, reveal or twist things for her own gains, she only reports mundane things, and if she insults, it's about trivial things that can be laughed at, and mostly she knows it won't hurt those she mentions (and she takes care to laugh at herself as well and does not drown in self pity). Penelope is able to diffuse quickly the scene when she overhears Colin saying he won't marry her. She respects, is respected and close to the Bridgertons who protect her willingly. No outrage over not being chosen for courting by him. When she asks Colin to kiss her, she is 28 and truly resigned, not around twenty which is pretty overdramatic.

And here, in the show, he does not even discover it on his own, she does not come clean on her own, she has to be threatened to do so. In the show, Colin's concerns over LW ruining Marina and Eloise's réputations feel very shallow because he only seems to realize it once he is attacked in the LW's, and his own vexation seems more about himself, and not about the people he says he wants to protect (so much for one who is said to care about the others more than he cares for himself).

The drama added here is useless and is just here to divide the fans.

Penelope getting with Debling has no stake because her interest in getting a practical marriage is a fleeting thing. We know as soon as Colin passes she does not make an effort, just tells Colin if she gets a husband it's because of him and stares at him as if waiting for him to try to change her mind. Hell, it's laughable she seems more interested in Debling when she sees Cressida wants to make a move, and that interest is so full of the idea of besting Cressida that she talks... of liking grass! It's never about Debling by himself. Even confronted with getting Debling, she is all in angst, because she is desperate not having Colin.

Not to mention for all the talks about how they are friends, they have very few moments of mutual appréciation. Perhaps the moment when they talk of their first meeting, but often it's about Colin appreciating she reads his letters, and then she stops because she is vexed he won't court her, and only tells him she is vexed long after the event.

She wants to have her cake and eat it, and that's what is frustrating. She wants to be in the Bridgerton family, be admired by everyone, while still selling everyone's dirty laundry. I would understand if she tried to take revenge herself on those she considers her bullies. I would even say, good for her, that's not quite moral, but it's understandable. However, it does not hold, because those she insults never bullied her, and sometimes even tried to help her!

Also, why try to make a version of regency England that somehow "erased" racism by the power of love, if it is to praise the white woman who called Kate a beast (and it would be stupid of Shonda not to think of the implications of that term), disrespected the queen, stole the light from Edwina being the diamond because she wanted to impress Eloise by attempting "feminism" and also made sure to ruin Marina publicly because she did not want her marrying Colin (when until then, she was very fine with Marina marrying anyone to protect herself and her unborn child. Well, anyone but Colin because it seems Penelope's crush has to be only Penelope's).

Book Penelope does not have these problems. Show Penelope just has too many, and she barely question herself more than two minutes.

I hate that they would develop Cressida, make her have constructive and respectful discussions with Eloise without any blame shutting the discussion like "you can't understand, you're a pretty Bridgerton", see her try to make efforts, only to throw her under the bus for Penelope's sake.

Season 3 part 2 will be Ass. Let me Tell You Why.

Cause in the end, Penelope, Lady Whistledown, the one who has left devastation in people’s lives will get all what she wants. The man that she wants, the attention that she wants, the family she always wanted to be(so envious of them she talked shit about them ), will get her best friend back, might have the heir for that dumbass Featherington plot line, might get the Queen’s pardon and above all else, will most likely not give up LW cause they made LW such an integral part of the show.(so in that case, she’ll be even more filthy rich)

And if we go by leaked spoilers, it is said that Colin will be mad at Penelope for like 2 episodes until Kanthony talks some “sense” into him. So that just tells me Kanthony will be OOC because there’s no damn way Anthony would let that beast comment about his wife slide.

There are no stakes when it comes to this season cause we all know how it’s finna go down. If Penelope gets any type of consequences, then her very undeserved HEA is doomed so everything is going to have to go her way for the already idiotic plot to make some form of sense. It’s like the love triangle in part 1, what the hell was the point of Lord Debling when everyone and their ancestors knew Colin and Penelope were end game? So we can see Colin’s cringe angst? If we already know the answer to the love triangle, there’s no point. The “find you a husband” plot line was stupid as shit anyway, but it’s whatever now.

Ugh, then we have to sit through more awkward love scenes between asshat 1 and 2

Eloise threatening Penelope with her LW identity is going to amount to nothing cause we know Penelope isn’t gonna receive any comeuppance. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they made Eloise apologize to Penelope for…🤷🏾‍♂️🤷(let’s apologize to the toxic friend for not dealing with their toxicity)

For Penelope to have a happy ending, she has to get away scot free and that’s what boils my blood. I hate in media and literature when a character goes around, creates chaos and receives nothing for it or just a slap on a wrist. I’ve noticed an increase in it lately too. Also, I’m tired of writers not severing their bias from their writing. I’ve been encountering many series lately where the writer(s) have favoritism towards a specific character and gives them the easy route, bends the world for them and pull punches just because they like them so much. It’s really aggravating cause you see everyone else getting put through the wringer and then you see the favored character walking through Candyland. It hurts the story, the character, and frankly makes you hate the character.

Everyone around Penelope is gonna act brain dead in order for Penelope to get what she wants and I’m not here for it. Even the general audience ain’t for it. The only people cheering this madness are the asylum patients called Polin fans with delusions that Penelope deserves the world.

I’m not even looking forward to Francesca and John’s story cause of the Poolin fecal matter I’ll have to swim through to get there. At this point, I’m might just watch spoilers of part 2 cause it’s not worth it.

P.S. Watch Cressida get the short end of the stick cause she’s the “bully” of the show and Penelope is the “victim”. Watch them break Creloise because of the “I don’t want you hanging around Eloise” subplot which will ultimately fuel Eloise and Penelope becoming friends again. Also, Penelope and Cressida competed for Lord Debling just for Penelope to go “sike” and marry Colin so she wasted Debling’s time and made Cressida feel like shit because she wasn’t chosen. P.S.S- Polins are huge ass hypocrites cause they ragged on Eloise being privileged and having “everything” but are silent about Penelope being privileged. By the end of this season, Penelope will basically have everything, even more so than Eloise, but sure, Penelope is definitely not privileged 😑. Penelope is privileged inside the world and outside by production, why are we denying this?

[gavvaiins]

thoughts on s2 ✨spoilers ahead✨

lol I binged it in one day, which I never wanted but I just couldn’t stop myself :’)

never was a huge fan of the main plot of s1 and wasn’t really invested in either Daphne or Simon. But they lead me to reading the books and oh book two. Love it. Love Kathony, the plot ... and yeah well, they changed some things for the better and ... the worst but I was very excited an not dissapointed.

the story telling felt more linear and less cluttered than in s1

there were so many things stuffed into one episode, I thought some scenes happened in ep 6 or so but were in ep2

bridgerton family time - it was lovely and nice to see more of the little ones

except Francesca, it feels like they forgot and left her at Aubrey Hall

the start of the season/ep1, loved the cute family moments and the parallel to Daphne’s

loved every ball scene of Eloise, they were hilarious

the Sharmas, all of them - event though they got butchered

Kate and Anthony having more things in common

the way Kate got introduced

the Sharmas staying at Lady Danbury’s was quite a smart move

Netwon, but we didn’t get enough of him >:(

Ascot, Aubrey Hall, Hyde Park

Sir Phillip & Colin ranting about Greece

✨ Kathony  ✨

Anthony getting jealous and falling into the pond with his extra flimsy, thin shirt on, no one knows why he owns it or has chosen to wear it that day

Edwina’s emancipation or setting herself free or however one says it in english

really loved that, even though she loves her sister and family, she decides that she wants to decide for herself and gets to know herself better

the situation in which Colin says, he doesn’t see Pen as a love interest ever! hurt :) but it was nicely set up

I’m glad they left out some problematic scenes from the book, like the carriage scene. But they really butchered the library scene and overall I’m a bit dissapointed, that Violet never makes her son dances with wallflowers aka. Pen like in the book. Seeing Anthony escorting Pen in Aubrey Hall was also a moment for Kate.

Pen is one of my favourites & I get she’s an important side character, but it feels like her role is too important in s2?

yeah ik sounds stupid but I think she had too much screen time & focus 

Edwina falling for Anthony

hated that the most. In the book she isn’t intersted in him and is the biggest Kathony shipper! 

Was really hoping, begging for a plottwist that Edwina knew the conditions all along and only wanted to marry him for her family, and not out of love

but noooo! they had to turn it into a ridiculous love triangle between 2 loving and supporting sisters, and a man

half-sister hurt, stung like a bee

htf are the two supposed to get over it, when they broke apart over a man??? 

they kinda make up over a death experience

I liked Lady Danbury’s involvement, however Mary should’ve played a bigger part in supporting her daughters and finding love for Edwina

No sharmas in the epilogue family scene :))) I get it, it’s the Bridgerton. Kate is a Brigerton now but ... family is so important to her. Why isn’t her family with her??? (do hope we get to hear more of them in the future & that Edwina isn’t just lost)

Pen fucking things up again with Lady Whistledown

She’s a young adult, teen whatever, people make mistakes. She’s in a difficult position with Lady Whistledown. But when your friend is in a difficult, dangerous position you should talk to her and not listen to your partner who claims you’ve to drag her through the mud :))

Featherington drama/plot could’ve toned down a little

Colin believing for a second that he has to free Marina from her unhappy life ... whatever that was

[pensbridgrton]

So while re-reading Romancing Mr. Bridgerton, I noticed during the big carriage Argument that Colin kept bringing up how he didn’t want Penelope to reveal she was Lady Whistledown to protect her. He talks about how many in the Ton may view her as harsh and cruel (not him, or his family, of course, but others).

Now the problem is that in the books Lady Whistledown isn’t harsh or cruel. Or at least, we never see that. So Colin’s concerns don’t seem legitimate and while we don’t necessarily think he has bad intentions, we side with Penelope - it’s her work, her legacy, she deserves to do what she wants with it. He might be wanting to protect her, but he comes across as an ass for it.

HOWEVER, on the show... we actually see Lady Whistledown being harsh and cruel and ruining people’s lives. Not only the Marina article, but with Daphne and Simon as well. Penelope is still young, still learning and growing, and Nicola has talked about how Pen’s guilty too - so she’ll probably mature and start to do better. We get a little foreshadowing to this with Eloise pointing it out in the last couple of episodes.

So I think when we get to Season 4, whenever Colin finds out about Lady Whistledown (because that feels like a Core Part of their story), he won’t want Penelope to reveal herself because he’ll want to protect her - because Lady Whistledown has been cruel and harsh and ruined people’s lives and while it may be better now, the Ton doesn’t forget. And while he will accept and understand Penelope’s explanation of why she did it - it’s about perception and not intention.

So basically, both Penelope’s wishes (not wanting her legacy to be credited to her worst enemy) and Colin’s intentions (not wanting Penelope to be shunned by society for her past) will have more equal weight in their argument.

[acreativeme]

Moving On

This part 2 to Impossible. I do hope that you enjoy this. I, personally, don’t believe in giving someone a second chance if they do what Colin did, so sorry if you wanted them to get back together! Don’t settle for someone who is going to throw you aside for someone new!

Prince Friederich x Reader, Colin Bridgerton x Reader

After crying most of the night, Y/N decided to focus on making best impressions on the suitors and the Queen. She only broke down once, after reading Lady Whistledown’s gossip column. Whistledown took Y/N’s side, expressing her disdain for what Marina and Colin did to her. Y/N had to stop her parents from going to the Bridgerton residence to confront Colin for breaking her heart. With her parent’s approval, Y/N recreated herself to attract better suitors. 

And it worked!

When Daphne Bridgerton rejected him, Prince Friederich tried to step back from the Ton-- wanting to heal his broken heart. And that is where he met Y/N. She had just stepped away from a young Lord, catching her breath from all the spinning he did. She had stumbled into him, with him holding her in his arms.

Y/N looked down at herself, making sure that she didn’t ruin her dress. “I am so sorry, m’lord.” 

Friederich smiled at the softness in her voice. “I am glad to have been here to catch you, m’lady.” 

She froze, shoulders tense. “Prince Friederich!” She stepped back to curtsy clumsily.

“You don’t need to curtsy, miss.” He spoke softly, giving her a small bow.

She smiled softly. “And you need not bow.” 

He grinned up at her, “I do, if I am going to ask for a dance…”

At the end of the night, Prince Friederich walked the Y/L/N family to their carriage and promised to call upon her the next day. And he did, with an array of wildflowers and roses. Both the Y/L/N swooned at this gesture. This went on for a few days, before they promenaded.

They were strolling arm in arm around the park, chatting like old friends. Y/N’s mother and little sister, Eleina, acted as their chaperone’s. 

“... as we rolled down the hill, our neighbor’s dog chased after us and collided with my brother’s face. It left him with a bruised eye for weeks. He went around telling everyone that he got struck with a flying rock.” Y/N giggled at her own story, causing Friederich to smile. 

“You have such a lovely smile, Miss. Y/N.” He blurted, blushing red.

She looked away shyly, blushing as well. “Thank you, Prince Friederich.”

He went to reply, but was cut off by a loud squeal. “Miss.Y/N!” 

Y/N stiffened, instantly recognizing the voice. Plastering on a fake smile, Y/N turned, “Hello, Lady Bridgerton.” 

Friederich kept his eyes on his date for a moment, before turning his eyes to the family approaching them. He rested his hand over Y/N’s, trying to provide her some comfort.

Lady Bridgerton pulled Y/N away from the Prince and into her arms. Y/N politely patted her back, sending her mother a pleading look. Lady Y/L/N coldly pushed through the other members of the Bridgerton Family to tug her daughter away.

“Please, do not lay a hand on my daughter.” Her voice had a cold edge to it, which shocked the Bridgerton family. 

“Where is this coming from, Lady Y/L/N?” Anthony asked, stepping up next to his mother.

Y/M/N rolled her eyes (GASP! That isn’t ladylike… hehehe) and frowned. “Well, after Colin Bridgerton decided to snub my daughter, I thought that is what we were doing now.”

Lady Bridgerton looked up at her eldest son. “What is she talking about, Anthony?”

Prince Friederich reached out for Y/N, who seemed to be sinking into herself. “It is alright.” He whispered, hoping to give her some comfort. 

Anthony groaned. “I was hoping not to have to be the one to tell you, mother. But Colin has decided to court Miss.Thompson over Miss.Y/L/N.”

Lady Y/L/N crossed her arms in triumph, “As you can see, there is no reason for you to be familiar with my daughter.”

Y/N reach out for her mother, “Let’s go, Mama. I am in the mood for tea.”

The older Y/L/N nodded, wrapping her arm around her daughters and led them away from the Bridgerton family. Y/N glanced back, only to send Eloise a tiny wave goodbye. Prince Friederich was the only one to bid them a formal farewell, before following after the Y/L/N women. 

When the news of Marina Thompson’s pregnancy was announced by Lady Whistledown, Y/N was in Madame Delacroix’s shop-- getting fitted for her wedding dress. Prince Friederich had proposed a few weeks after the incident in the park, not wanting to let Y/N slip through his fingers. Against the Queen’s wishes, they were planning a lowkey quiet ceremony-- not wanting the Ton to try and overshadow their special day. Y/N’s little sister was reading the gossip column aloud, as Madame Delacroix was placing the pins in the dress. 

“Can you believe that Miss.Thompson was pregnant this whole time? Do you think that Colin is going to show up and beg for your hand, sister?” The younger Y/L/N asks, lounging back in her velvet chair-- in the most unladylike position.

Lady Y/L/N swatted at her shoulder, “He better not. Y/N has moved on to someone much better than that rake Colin Bridgerton.”

Y/N smiled, playfully rolling her eyes. “I’ve moved on, Mama. I don’t think that it is necessary to continue to say such harsh things about him. I still consider Eloise a close friend.”

Nothing was said after that, which allowed Y/N to think about her future.

When the season ended, Colin was ready to set off on his adventures. But there was one thing that he had to do… he had to match things with his love-- blissfully unaware that she was no longer his. 

After bidding his family goodbye, Colin made his way to the Y/L/N estate. As he brought his horse to a stop, he noticed the caravan of carriages being packed with trunks. He stopped a footman, wanting to know what was going on. 

The footman paused, knowing Colin Bridgerton, “Lady Y/N is getting ready to depart for her honeymoon.”

Colin’s heart sunk, finally realizing that he was too late. “Who did she wed?”

“Prince Friederich, of course.”

@spideysz