#when i ask a question for clarification they look at me like im stupid

[pinayelf]

everyone loves saying they're neurodivergent until it's someone who asks "stupid" or "obvious" questions bc they need clear instructions

[holllandtrash]

6 to 1 | lando norris (part 6)

pairing: lando norris x leclerc!reader part 6 in the 6 to 1 series (read part 1 here)

days off mean lounging around, sharing meals and potentially sharing intimate movements? it's getting harder and harder to push your feelings for lando aside, even if there is a voice in the back of your head reminding you getting involved with a british driver (but that voice sounds a lot like charles' so its easy to ignore)

word count: 5.8k tags/warnings some social media aus

if anyone read this part when it was originally posted im so sorry, something got messed up and like half of the chapter didnt post sooo here it is now

“I am not watching another one of these stupid vampire movies.”

Lando had kept his mouth shut all day. He didn’t complain when you put Twilight on, craving a bit of nostalgia and a reason to lounge on the couch for the foreseeable evening. He didn’t say anything when you put New Moon on, he just gave you a questionable look when you spoke in unison with Jacob Black when he said the iconic ‘Bella, where the hell have you been loca’ line.

By the time you started Eclipse, the third in the series, Lando stood up from the couch. Your attention had been divided between your phone and the movie for the majority of the day so you really weren’t paying attention to Lando until you realised he was spending a good chunk of time in the kitchen.

You lifted your head, “What are you doing?”

“Driving a race car,” Lando called back, tone dropping with sarcasm, as he pulled out a knife to start cutting the vegetables he had taken from the fridge. 

You sat up a bit straighter, eyeing the red pepper on the cutting board, “I don’t like red peppers.”

“There were peppers in your omelette this morning,” Lando scoffed, turning to look at you.

“Those were green peppers. I don’t like red ones.”

“They are literally the same thing.”

“Not to me.”

Lando held the pointed end of the knife in your direction, “You are making my life very difficult right now.” When you just flashed him a smile and turned back to the movie, Lando put the red pepper away and swapped it for a green one. 

You weren’t even sure what he was making, but it smelled good so you kept quiet for the most part. 

You tried to tell him you were allergic to whatever seasoning he just pulled out of the cupboard and in response, Lando put a handful of it in his hand, walked over to you, and blew it directly into your face.

You sat up, rubbing your eyes as you grabbed a tissue to rid your face of what you assumed was some sort of combination of dill and garlic powder. 

“You should be thanking your lucky stars this recipe didn’t call for cayenne pepper, you ungrateful shit,” Lando laughed as he returned back to the kitchen. Now you really stayed quiet. 

When he returned, you had your defences up, flinching as he approached you as you were scared he was going to throw something else in your face. Lando only rolled his eyes and handed you a bowl and a bottle of sparkling water. 

You sat up and took a look at the Greek inspired chicken bowl. With layers of rice, protein, a variety of vegetables topped with feta cheese, it made your mouth water before you could take the first bite.

“Maybe you should open up a restaurant,” you suggested when he sat down next to you. 

“Let’s just open one together.”

“In your dreams.”

Lando took a sip of his Perrier water and nodded in agreement, “Sounds like a pretty good dream to me.”

You ate dinner and kept watching the movie, choosing to ignore that comment. Lando asked a couple questions here and there, needing clarification on who some characters were that he had missed when he was making dinner, but you had the feeling he was as into these movies as you were.

Until it was nearing eleven and you had just put the final movie on. Breaking Dawn Part 2. And Lando snatched the remote from your hands, pausing it at the opening credits. 

“I am not watching another one of these stupid vampire movies.”

You stared at him in shock, “You said we could do what I wanted today!” 

“I didn’t think that would involve ten straight hours of a vampire-werewolf love triangle that is making me want to rip my eyes out,” Lando exclaimed with a laugh, his words cutting right through your heart.

You ripped the remote from his hands and sat up, pointing at the tv, “The Twilight Saga is a cinematic masterpiece.”

Lando threw his head back and laughed, “Oh really? How many Oscars has it won?”

“It won MTV’s Best Onscreen Kiss in 2009.”

“I feel like this isn’t information you should just know off the top of your head.”

You groaned and pressed play, “Can we just watch it? It’s the last movie.”

“You watch it, I’m getting ready for bed.” Lando tousled his hand through your hair before using you as a crutch to stand up. You pushed him out of the way as he walked in front of the tv and he made another comment about how this was one of the worst series’ he’s ever seen before walking into the bathroom.

You turned your attention to the screen, but when your phone started to ring you turned it down and saw Arthur was calling you to check in, ask if you’d be at Silverstone and what not. It was an innocent enough conversation, until he asked where you were.

“At a friend's house,” you sat up a bit, thankful that Lando wasn’t anywhere near you to make this conversation more difficult.

“Oh, which friend?”

Fuck your mind went blank.

You said the first name that came to mind, “Laura.”

Arthur laughed, “Who the hell is Laura?”

“Oh you’ve met her before,” you lied through your teeth. “Blonde, has the piercings-”

“That describes about half of your friends,” Arthur cut you off, probably not caring too much who you were with, as long as you were somewhere safe. “Have you talked to Charles lately?”

Aside from a few texts, you really hadn’t heard from your brother since you left Canada, “Not much, why?”

There was a bit of hesitation, “No reason, just wondering.”

Any other day you would have called Arthur out on withholding information from you. Something must have been going on with your brothers for Arthur to even ask if you had spoken to Charles, but Arthur ended this phone call almost immediately after, making up some bullshit training excuse.

You made a mental note to call him out on it next time you spoke, but until then you returned back to the vampire-werewolf love triangle Lando despised so much.

When the bathroom door opened, you glanced in that direction in time to see a cloud of steam protrude into the hallway. You wouldn’t have paid any more attention to it, had Lando not immediately followed and stepped out of the bathroom.

With nothing but a towel hanging around his hips. 

You really tried to focus on the movie. You would have been fuming if you stepped out of the shower in nothing but a towel and Lando couldn’t stop staring at you, but this was the first time you’d seen him like this and it was quite distracting.

You’d seen his shirtless pictures on instagram. You’ve seen clips of him changing shirts in Lando edits on twitter or tik tok, but this was different. Holy fuck was this different. 

Beads of water clung to his skin, accentuating the dips and curves of the muscles in his back. He shook out his head, running his fingers through the wet strands of hair to try and keep the curls from sticking to his forehead. 

And then he looked at you and you knew you had been caught staring.

“I’m just going into the room to change,” he told you. It had been your room for the last few weeks, but he still had all of his clothes in the closet. You nodded, mentally telling yourself to not look down at where the towel sat on his hips. 

But you couldn’t do anything about pulling your eyes off his body as he walked down the hall and shut the bedroom door behind him. 

It took you a second to pull yourself together after that.

Lando was hot. 

You knew he was attractive, everyone who had eyes would agree to that. He had cute, boy-ish features and a magnetic smile that made it hard to look away. Like a lot of the drivers on the grid, Lando was good looking, he had that going for him.

But he was hot.

Hot enough to make you temporarily forget about one of your favourite movie series, hot enough that you couldn’t say a single word to him when he told he was just going to change, hot enough that you were now imagining what he might have looked like without the towel.

You sat up straighter, forcing these thoughts out of your mind. You knew you shouldn’t be thinking about Lando like that so when he walked out of the bedroom, you didn’t even let yourself look at him as he sauntered down the hall. In the corner of your eye you could see him make himself a cup of tea in the kitchen. When he asked if you wanted one, you could only shake your head.

It was hard to focus on the movie knowing Lando was right there. You weren’t even watching, you were just pretending to because you needed something to look at that wasn’t him. 

When he sat down next to you, he carefully put his cup of tea on the coffee table and leaned against the back cushions with a heavy breath. He was sitting a few inches closer to you now than he had been before, you weren’t imagining that. He had the hood of his jumper pulled up around his head, his arm resting behind his neck and neither of you said anything for a little while.

Until Lando, not even pulling his eyes from the screen, asked, “Were you checking me out?”

In response, you grabbed the pillow that had fallen on the ground and smacked him right in the face with it. Lando laughed, but he couldn’t dodge it, instead letting it fall to his lap and eyeing the way your cheeks turned red and how you refused to look at him.

“That’s a very violent way to say yes,” there was a smugness to his tone. You didn’t have to look at him to know he was smirking.

“I wasn’t.” You practically hissed, “I looked at you, there’s a difference.”

You were definitely checking him out when he stepped out of the bathroom.

But he didn’t need to know that.

Lando wasn’t going to let this go, “It’s okay, I check you out sometimes.”

You rolled your eyes, deciding that if he wanted to start this game, you would play dirty. “Yeah I bet you absolutely drool at the sight of me in the Ferrari garage talking to Carlos.”

But that didn’t deter Lando like you thought it would. He shifted on the couch to face you, arm resting along the back of it, “Okay can you tell me about that? Like is there something going on there?”

You finally looked at him, eyebrows raised, “Going on with…?”

“You and Carlos.”

You snorted, “No.”

“But you guys are close.”

“We’re friends.”

“Nothing more?”

“If we were more I probably would have called him last night instead of you, don’t you think?” 

It was a sentimental thought, but your tone was bitter and Lando caught it, like you couldn’t believe you were actually talking about this. But Lando didn’t know that this was an ongoing conversation with those that were close to you and Charles. People jumped to their own conclusions and while you did like Carlos, you would never see him as anything more than a friend. 

“So what are we?”

Now you felt forced to pause the movie. You turned on the couch, crossing your legs underneath you as you stared at the British driver, “Are we really having this conversation?”

“I just want clarification, is all,” Lando said, a hand held up in defence before you could give him any more attitude. “You didn’t call Carlos because you guys are just friends and nothing more, but you called me.”

“You’re thinking too much about this.”

“I’m thinking about it the right amount,” Lando retorted. Still, you were unimpressed and he could see that. Through your blank stare and semi-scowl, Lando got the impression that this was not how you wanted the night to end.

But he had a point, whether you admitted it or not. 

Lando was who you called. Even if you didn’t remember it, he was who you wanted to be with last night, he was who you missed. 

However there was something he seemed to be forgetting.

“I don’t date drivers, Lando.”

“I know, I know, and I don’t want to keep having this conversation but I also don’t know where we stand,” he tried to reason with you, he wanted more than just the same rejection you’ve been giving him for a while now. Flirting was fun, hanging out with him was exhilarating and while you knew it couldn’t turn into anything more, Lando wanted you to think otherwise.

“We’re friends,” you said, point blankly. You needed to remove yourself from this situation so you grabbed the empty bowl that had been sitting on the coffee table and you walked to the kitchen. 

You shouldn’t have been surprised when Lando followed.

“Friends who kiss?”

“Once,” you pointed out, dropping the bowl into the sink, making sure your back was towards him. “We’ve kissed once and it didn’t mean anything.”

Lando scoffed, you could practically hear his eye roll as he stood behind you, “It didn’t mean anything? Really?” 

No, but that’s what he needed to hear. You didn’t want Lando to know that you were conflicted, torn between knowing that you shouldn’t want to hang out with him as much as you did and wanting him to kiss you again. You didn’t like the level of comfort you two had reached and you hated that his presence made you as happy as it did.

So he needed to believe the kiss didn’t mean anything and maybe if you said it enough times, you’d believe it to.

“It didn’t mean anything,” you repeated, hands resting on the edge of the counter. “It was the thirty second deal. Once you reach zero you’re done.”

But Lando wasn’t as naive as you were.

“And how many seconds do I have left?” He asked, standing mere inches from you. If you looked up and to the right even slightly, you’d catch his eyes.

A sharp exhale passed through your lips, “Eleven.”

Lando gently took hold of your wrist and spun you around to face him. With your back pressed up against the counter, you were limited to what you could do or where you could look. You were practically forced to meet his hazel eyes and you were frozen when he lifted his hand up to the side of your face.

His fingers were gently, resting right where your neck met your jaw as he closed the gap even more, dropping his face to yours. He didn’t kiss you, but he came horribly close. Instead, letting his nose nudge yours as his lips parted. 

You found yourself reaching for the front of his jumper, curling your fingers around the material to hold him against you. Each breath carried more and more anticipation, your heart nearly pounding out of your chest as Lando hovered his lips right above yours. 

He had eleven seconds left, but he wasn’t going to rush into them. He just wanted to prove a point. 

You wanted to kiss him. 

“Lando,” you were so quiet. You weren’t even sure what you were asking from him.

You were frozen in place and Lando’s breaths were in sync with yours and each second that passed where he didn’t kiss you only drove you more and more insane. It wasn’t fair. 

“You can’t tell me this doesn’t mean anything,” Lando’s words were laced with timid desperation. He wanted you both to be on the same page and as terrifying as it was to admit, that build up, the moment before the kiss, meant something. You shouldn’t have wanted him as bad as you did.

You applied the slightest bit of pressure to his chest. Lando got the hint and stepped backwards, giving you the space you needed to think clearly.

“I just-” the fear of Charles finding out flooded your mind, followed by the media spinning this out of control and then images of a Ferrari-McLaren crash were at the forefront of your thoughts. You shook your head. “I need to go to bed.”

Lando wasn’t going to push to get anything else out of you. He watched as you slowly walked down the hall. You didn’t dare give him one last look before collapsing on the bed and calling it a night.

——————

3

The upside to yours and Lando’s friendship, or relationship, was that each new day was exactly that. A new day. 

You woke up in the morning and neither of you addressed the almost kiss you shared last night. Lando didn’t ask again if it meant anything and you were able to focus on getting ready and doing your makeup without any intrusive thoughts. 

Because you had watched most of the Twilight movies yesterday and that was all you wanted to do, it was Lando’s choice today. He had been texting furiously all morning and even stepped outside to take a few calls, leaving you with more questions than answers.

And he wouldn’t give you any hints. It was a surprise, apparently. He even asked if he could blindfold you before you got into his car and a simple glare in response told him that that would never happen.

During the drive, you both took turns picking the song. Lando would question most of your choices, mostly because a lot of the artists you liked were French, but in return you would judge the majority of the British rap that he chose. 

“Can you please just tell me where we’re going?” You asked, noticing you were driving further and further out of the city. “You’re not kidnapping me are you?”

“I’m not kidnapping you.”

“Is this another date?”

“Not a date either,” Lando answered. 

You couldn’t imagine what the outskirts of London had to offer. You tried to ask more questions, but they were all shot down. And when the road you were on turned to dirt and gravel and you could no longer see any sign of city life, you turned to him again.

“I need a hint or something.”

“You are so impatient,” Lando laughed, reaching over the console to give your leg a playful squeeze. “We’re almost there. I promise- well, I think you’ll like it.”

Almost was a stretch. It took another fifteen minutes before he turned down yet another dirt road, thick forestry on either side. You couldn’t begin to imagine what he had in store. 

And then you saw a few trailers parked in front of a steel dome with a garage door. It took a second for you to realise there was a dark green car parked in the garage and a few people hanging around it.

“What is going on?” You asked him, but you weren’t surprised when all he did was smile.

Lando pulled his car off to the side, using a few fingers to wave at the other people who were apparently waiting for him. He then turned the car off and gave you one of his familiar, charming grins. 

“Ready?” 

“I don’t know what you signed me up for, so no.”

Lando didn’t let you ask any more questions before he opened the door, quickly scurrying to the other side of the car to open yours as well. He helped you out and you watched as two of the people that were in the garage started making their way over to you.

You recognised Max Fewtrell, Lando’s best friend. You’d never actually met him before, but you’d seen him at races and all over social media. The girl next to him was also familiar with dark brown hair and beautiful features, but you couldn’t place a name.

With his hand on your back, Lando and you took a few steps forward. He gestured towards Max first, “This is Max, that’s Ria-” he looked at you to introduce you to his friends. “This is Y/N.”

Ria Bish, now you knew where you recognised her from. She was part of Lando’s Quadrant team. 

And both her and Max were wearing Quadrant merch. Merch that you hadn’t seen before. And usually Lando made a habit of wearing his own clothing whenever he could. Behind them, you finally spotted a skeleton crew of camera operators.

You looked up at Lando, “What the fuck is going on here?”

Ria sort of chuckled, “You didn’t tell her?”

“He doesn’t tell me anything,” you shook your head. 

But now you were able to figure it out. The new merchandise. The Quadrant team. The camera set up. 

“You’re dropping a new collection,” you said, finally it wasn’t a question.

And that wasn’t the only surprise.

Lando was positively beaming, “And I want you to model for the photo and video shoot.”

Your jaw dropped as you tried to tell if he was playing some sort of joke or not. The way he looked at you told you that he wasn’t lying. Ria and Max wore similar excited expressions, clearly you were the only one left out of this decision. 

Modelling wasn’t new to you, but usually your agent contacted you when you had a new job. You didn’t show up to a set with no warning and by the looks of it, this wasn’t even a professional set. This was something Lando had set up with members of his own team.

“I’m not-”

“You don’t have a choice,” Lando interjected before you could turn this down. “I’m pretty sure we agreed that today we did what I wanted to do.”

You thought about it for a moment before a new concern came to mind, “How long have you been planning this?”

Lando scratched the back of his neck, “Honestly, I always knew I wanted you to model this collection. It just worked out that we could do it today.”

“But why-”

“Danny’s never asked you to model one of his collections, has he?”

Oh.

Oh. 

That’s what this was about. Your driver ranking. You told Lando to get creative and he was doing exactly that. He knew you lived in your DR3 merch, he knew you admired the third Red Bull driver, but Daniel had never given you the opportunity to be part of his collection drop. 

Max handed him a purple top which he just handed over to you, looking quite proud of himself as he draped his arm over your shoulders, tugging you against his side.

“Come on, Y/N, it’ll be fun,” Lando encouraged. You held out the t-shirt to look at the design as Lando kept trying to talk you into it. “The fans will love it.”

“Charles will not.”

“Who cares what Charles thinks?”

You tilted your chin up, eyebrows raised, “You know, usually I get paid for these types of jobs.”

And it was your fault, really, for using a suggestive tone. For letting your gaze drop to his lips. For forgetting that two of his friends were literally standing right in front of you, watching this interaction.

Lando ran with it. He just dipped his head towards your ear, using a volume that only you could hear, leaving Max and Ria to wonder what they were missing.

“I’m sure we can figure something out later.”

Thank god for Ria catching the way your cheeks turned red. She grabbed hold of your wrist and pulled you away from Lando before the innuendos could get any worse, “Come on, I’ll show you the trailer to change in.”

You walked with Ria, waiting a few seconds before looking over your shoulder at Lando who had jumped right into a conversation with Max. But he was watching you too, his gaze darting towards you as he spoke, but trying not to make it obvious. 

Ria unlatched the door to the trailer and stepped back for you to walk in, “Can I ask how your brother feels about all of this? About you and Lando?”

“Oh he doesn’t-” you paused on the steps, sending one more look towards the British driver. 

You should have said, there was no ‘you and Lando’ but instead your instant response was to say that Charles was unaware. And even though you had no idea what was going either, there was certainly something. 

But you just shrugged, “Charles doesn’t know anything.”

Ria eyed the merch in your hands. You were both thinking the same thing, but she was the one to voice the thoughts, "I guess that's about to change."

ynleclerc

liked by maxfewtrell, carlossainz55 and 25,351 others

tagged: landonorris, team_quadrant

ynleclerc quadrant OFF ROAD* collection drops soon i think?

view all 2,197 comments

landonorris nice

riabish ♡♡

danielricciardo this feels like a betrayal?

ynleclerc still love u ❤️

inthepaddock that last pic is my 13th reason

usersainzz carlos has been awfully quiet

charles_leclerc what is this

landonorris merch drop mate

You told Lando not to respond to Charles’ comment, it would only feed the fire. But then you saw him click ‘reply’ and you weren’t quick enough to snatch the phone out of his hands. You tried, but Lando just held the phone way out of reach.

The photoshoot had been fun, you could admit that, but the entire car ride back to his place, your stomach filled with nerves as you debated posting a collection of photos from it. You wanted to support Lando, you wanted to show off the new clothing, but you were terrified of what Charles would say. 

Lando held the door open for you to step into his flat and he could see you were still fighting with yourself. He snatched the phone out of your hands and swiped through the pictures.

“If you’re so worried about what he’ll say, don’t include the last one.”

“But I like the last one,” you admitted with a shy smile. It was one that Ria had snapped when you walked out of the trailer in the all purple attire. And maybe you were the one that pulled Lando to your side to get a photo of the two of you matching but he was the one who dropped his head right next to yours. 

And then you were the one who held the side of his face, resulting in a pose that looked very…

“We look like a couple,” Lando voiced your concern as he sat down on the couch, pulling out his own phone. “I love the picture, I do, but if it's causing you this much anxiety, don’t post it.”

When you sat down next to him, you glanced at his phone screen and saw that he was swiping through the photos as well. Taking a few extra seconds to examine the ones of just the two of you. When he zoomed in on your smile you rolled your eyes and playfully pushed your hand against his face.

“You had fun, right?” Lando asked, turning his attention to you. Not the you on his phone screen, the you that was sitting so close to him that he could feel the faint movements of your body with each breath you too, so close that he could see the worry lines in your forehead and guilt in your eyes. 

But you nodded, “I really did.”

He grinned from ear to ear, “So am I up to third now? In your driver ranking?”

You sighed heavily, “It appears so.”

Lando curled his hand into a celebratory fist. You ignored his childish ways and looked at your Instagram post again. You really did have a good time today. Getting to know some of Lando’s friends was entertaining, especially when they were able to tell you all of the stories that Lando wouldn’t ever share himself. 

It shouldn’t have mattered how your brothers would react, you were happy. You had a really fucking good day. 

So you posted the four pictures.

Lando commented immediately. When you asked him if he had your post notifications on he just muttered a quiet ‘no’ and tried to hide in the hood of his jumper. 

And then Charles saw it. His ‘what is this’ comment made you feel sick and you begged Lando not to respond but Lando loved making your life difficult and even though his response was innocent enough, you weren’t surprised when Charles’ name appeared on your phone a few seconds later, his ringtone burning through your ears.

“I’ll answer it-”

“You absolutely will not,” you snapped at Lando. “You will stay quiet. If you so much as breathe too loudly I will shave your head in your sleep.”

Lando believed you. You weren’t one to bluff.

You stood up and answered the call, mentally preparing yourself for a scolding. 

“Hey Cha-”

“Why were you with Lando?” He asked. Not even a hello or a how are you. Just straight to the point. “Why are you promoting his brand?”

“It was a job,” you looked at Lando, but there was enough space between you that he couldn’t make out what Charles was saying on the other end. “Lando was in the city, he asked if I wanted to participate and I said yes. It’s not a big deal.”

It was a lie. It wasn't a real job and Lando didn't force you in front of the camera. If you wanted out of the photoshoot, you could have said no.

But you wanted to be part of it.

“It’s kind of a big deal, Y/N,” Charles didn’t sound annoyed, he sounded genuinely mad at you. “You’re my sister and you’re promoting another driver's merch? How do you think that makes me look?”

“I don’t think people are thinking about that,” you scoffed. Charles wasn’t one to have selfish tendencies, so this was really coming out of left field. “It was a photoshoot, Charles. Don't try to create a problem when there's not one. You don't care when I wear Daniel's merch."

"Daniel isn't driving."

"That's not the point and you know it."

Charles had something against you

There was silence on his end. You thought about just hanging up and ending the conversation there. Otherwise this would have turned into an argument that neither of you would win. 

But then he just had to keep it going.

“Do you-” Charles paused again. You knew where he was going and you really regretted not hanging up when you had the chance. “Do you like him?”

Even though Lando had no idea what sort of conversation you were in the middle of, he was still watching you carefully. When you turned your head to look at him, you felt stuck. Conflicted. This was not how you wanted to feel. 

“Peut-être,” you said, eyes locked on Lando’s. Maybe. Maybe you did like him more than you were willing to let on, more than you wanted to. 

Making the switch to French was a dead giveaway for Charles, “Are you with him right now?”

Again, all you could say was, “Peut-être.”

Lando was trying to piece together what you were saying. With his eyebrows pinched together and jaw tightened, you could see he was concerned. The photoshoot was his idea and now Charles was taking his frustration out on you, he felt responsible. 

“Je dois partir,” I need to go. You said quietly. “I’ll see you Sunday.”

“No, don’t hang-”

You pulled the phone away from your ear and left it on the counter in the kitchen. Lando stood up and walked over to you as soon as he knew the conversation was over. He gently put his hand on your back and kept it there as he turned you to face him.

“Look I knew Charles wouldn’t be happy but I didn’t think-”

“Don’t,” you shook your head, rubbing your hand over your face in distress. “It’s not your fault. None of this is and I shouldn’t even care what he thinks.”

“But he’s your brother, so you’re going to care.”

All you could do was shrug your shoulders. This was a lose-lose situation for you. If you distanced yourself from Lando, you wouldn’t be happy. If you stayed with Lando, if you let yourself be happy with him, Charles would distance himself from you. 

Lando lifted his hand to the side of your face, thumb brushing over your cheek, “Can I ask- what does ‘peut-être’ mean?”

You leaned into his touch, “It means ‘maybe’.”

“Maybe what?”

God were you really going to tell him?

It was hard to keep your eyes on his, every voice in your head told you to just turn around and walk away. Leave this conversation now otherwise you’d be digging your own grave.

But it was so easy to tune out those voices when the whole world stopped as he looked at you. 

“Maybe..." you started, taking a breath, “maybe I like you.”

Lando smiled, well it was a mix between a smile and smirk, hearing the words that he'd been waiting for. “Maybe?” He asked, heavy on the sarcasm. “Only maybe?”

You rolled your eyes, “Yeah don’t let it go to your head.”

“Too late,” he licked his lips. That fucker knew what he was doing. His gaze dropped to your own lips for a second, “I have eleven seconds left, yeah?”

You nodded and the last thing you caught was the devient glint in his eyes before he connected his mouth to yours, making the move that you were reluctant to.

Your lips moved in slow synchronisation, there was less of a hurry this time compared to at the hotel, both of you wanting this moment to last. Lando’s fingers slipped into your hair, your hand found his chest before it slid up towards his neck instead, bringing him closer to you, if that was even possible.

Lando’s grip tightened on your side and every thought in your brain, the countdown that you should have started, Charles’ disapproval, all of it vanished and instead there was him and only him. 

It was like Lando was kissing you with every inch of his soul. Like he was trying to use this moment to replace all of the words he couldn’t say because he knew you wouldn’t listen anyway. It was the kind of kiss that you could get used to, that you wanted to get used to. 

Breathlessly, you pulled away. Lando rested his forehead against yours, the pads of his fingers brushing against your cheek as he swallowed.

“Times up,” you whispered, both of you aware that it had been a little longer than eleven seconds.

“It doesn’t have to be, you know that right?”

You could have more than just those expired thirty seconds. You could have every day with him if you wanted, Lando not only hinted at that but he had also made it so blatantly obvious that he wanted you. 

This wasn’t about a stupid driver ranking anymore. 

Somewhere over these last few weeks, there was a shift. Lando didn’t just care about working his way up, he cared about you. He wanted to make you happy, he wanted to see you smile, be the reason for your laugh, spend every possible minute of the day with you if it wasn’t a race weekend, and even then, he wanted to see you at the Paddock more than anything. 

Lando liked you. 

And it was terrifying, but you couldn’t deny your feelings anymore. You couldn’t mask them with sarcasm and eye rolls. You couldn’t hide it anymore. You wanted more than just those thirty seconds.

You wanted him. 

masterlist here

taglist: @moneymasnn@thotd-f1 @masonspulisic @mcmuppet@f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63 @alilstressyandlotdepressy @themisric @happydazzz123 @moonxblossom @norrisleclercf1 @scarlettisconfused @sbgal @e-lisa-bettan @harrysdimple05 @ophcelia @alesainz @fandomxs1 @majx00 @sbgal @mehrmonga @themockingjayreader if i forgot anyone im so sorry

[equallyshaw]

star crossed loves au | connor bedard x kailey hughes au ↳ slowly, but surely. ↳ au masterlist!

warnings: angst, anxiety attack, swearing etc. also this takes place in feburary after his jaw fracture! word count: 2.2k. - longer than i expected lol

"do you wanna come to my game?" was a simple question, and one of innocence. kailey would give it that, but the deep feeling of dread was felt rather too quickly for her liking. she looked away from connor as the two were finishing up breakfast, hoping he wouldn't notice the uneasiness that plagued her features. he did. the two had been inseparable since new years, and had became official only a few days afterwards. ofcourse, he'd see the tension that sprang up in her features, the inability to look at him - especially in the eye - and the way that he body seemed to be folding in on itself. she stood up abruptly, bringing the plate back into the kitchen, and connor watched with a million questions buzzing around. she came back in and sat down, swirling her lukewarm coffee. "i um, i cant go." she said staring down the place mat. his eyebrows furrowed, "can't or won't go?" he questioned, hoping for some clarification. she made direct eye contact with him and gave him a small frown, "i wish i could go, i really do. but i can't bring myself to." she said bringing the last of the once hot liquid to her mouth. he shook his head, "you have to tell me what that means kails." he said setting down his fork now.

she sighed, setting the mug down. "i vowed to myself long ago that i'd never go to another hockey game in my life, let alone step into a rink once more." she paused sniffling, "that game ruined my childhood and my relationships with the rest of my family." she said and it felt like a dagger piercing his heart. "then why, why did you agree to be my girlfriend if you can't stand what i do?" he questioned without a second thought, and he could see how much it hurt the blonde. she made a tsk noise, "i can respect and support what you do from afar connor. but y'know now that you say that, why did i say yes? why did i say yes when i knew that i wouldn't be able to listen to the sound of skates hitting the ice when it really mattered? even if it was the stanley cup final, i wouldn't be able to do it because of how much it would make me sick." she finished, standing up and heading towards his condo door. "wait kail-" she cut him off with the front door opening. she stood between the threshold, looking back at connor. "you're right connor, how can i support you when i cant even support my own brothers?" she asked rhetorically before stepping full into the hallway and towards the elevator. as soon as she hit the elevator, she quickly began to cry while hunching over with her eyes shut. connor stood with his mouth agape, unsure if he should go after her or let her go. how could he let her go, when besides hockey- she was the thing he was most sure about in his life?

_

becca kaileys roommate and longtime best friend, could tell something off that morning when kailey came back to the apartment in a fit of rage. "what'd they do now?" kailey questioned, thinking her brothers said something stupid. "not them, him." she responded beginning to pace. "but its my fault, im the one who said yes without telling him i cant watch hockey. im the one who has wasted his time because why the hell would he date somebody who cant walk into an arena without throwing up?" she blurted as becca stood up, concern lacing her gaze. "hey kails? wanna sit down?" she questioned softly, wrapping her arms gently over her the blonde's. kailey immediately began to break down again, completely folding into becca's figure.

hockey was something that was seldom spoken about in the apartment. it was not off limits per se, but it was to be treaded lightly. unfortunately, kailey held a great amount of disdain for the sport and if it was mixed in with her brothers, it was a double whammy and usually ended in an anxiety attack. sure, she'd been to therapy for her childhood, jack and the topic of of hockey had come up many times. it was the reason why she was plucked away from her budding life in toronto, because they wanted the family to be with jack and usa hockey. it was why everything and everyone that she adored, was taken away from her. so she set up boundaries, and that meant no hockey. besides quinn's debut, no debut for luke or jack. no playoff games, nada nothing. her parents had respected her choice, and with the backing from her therapist - so did the rest of the family. this was something she didn't tell connor when they were talking during break before new years, because she knew that it would scare him away. just like it had now.

kaileys thoughts were interrupted, by a loud knock on their apartment door. "ill be right back." becca announced, standing up and walking towards the door. "ill be in my room." kailey responded, barely audible but becca picked it up. as soon as kailey was out of view, she opened the door to connor. who looked distraught, angry and sad all at the same time. "um hello?" becca said and connor opened the door, pushing his way inside. "where is she?" he asked flustered, and becca sighed. he met becca's gaze and snapped in her face, "becca, where is she?" he repeated and becca stood their in a shocked state. before becca could respond, they both heard a sob or more like a wrenching cry from kailey's bedroom. connor wasted no minute shoving off his shoes and throwing his jacket on becca, before heading down the hallway. becca could only chuckle in response, before sending him a salute as a joke and one that he didn't see. "go get em." she mumbled, before putting his stuff down.

connor knocked on the door before opening it, and as he opened it he found kailey on her bed. her head was in her hands and hunched over. his heart absolutely broke as he walked over, and sat beside kailey pulling her into his body. "its ok kails, I've got you." he whispered, repeating it every few seconds. "im not mad or upset, i promise." he whispered after a few minutes. her sobbing began to quiet down, but her breathing was still too heavy for his liking. "but you were right." she said after about ten minutes. he looked down and shook his head, "i was not right." he stated boldly. she pulled away from his chest, looking at him properly now. "you were right, why should i be your girlfriend if i cant support you on a nightly basis? its not fair to you con, its not." she said running a hand through her hair. "so what?" he questioned, and she looked at him. "so what? you matter more than hockey. yeah we may have only known each other for a month now, but I've never been more sure about somebody or something in my life besides hockey. you and our relationship im so sure about, ask any of the guys. they probably would tell you that im so disgustingly annoying." he mused causing her to giggle softly. "i promise that just because you choose not to watch hockey, doesn't mean that im gonna break up with you." he argued and she chuckled. "you don't like me enough to say and do that." she said rolling her eyes, and he shook his head. "no, i love you that's why." he confessed and she slowly looked back towards him. "wait...what?" she asked, barely breathing. he grinned before smiling, "i love you kailey clara and what are you gonna do about that?" he mused causing her to blush. she breathed in heavily why playfully rolling her eyes, "i can either kick you out or tell you that i love you back." she hummed, leaning closer towards him. "thankfully for you, its the latter." she hummed staring down his lips before pulling him in for a passionate and deep kiss.

the two pulled away after about ten seconds, pressing their foreheads against one another's. "as long as you say you're my number one fan we'll be good. this cements everything." he joked causing her to giggle. "you cheeky boy! but yes, good thing ill be your number one fan as long as you have me." she grinned before they kissed once more.

later on in the afternoon as the two cuddled with one another after connor's nose found solace in kaileys neck, the blonde spoke up. "i promise connor, to open myself up to hockey. i promise im going to try, ok?" she questioned turning around to face him. he had a small hopeful smile grace his features, "slowly but surely kails." he hummed before pulling her into his chest and placing a kiss on her head.

_

it was two weeks later, and after a black graphic t-shirt of connor came in- her and becca were off to a game against the florida panthers. the two walked arm and arm towards the 300's section wanting to experience it in the 'trenches' kailey had always called them, and experience it with some die hard fans. and, far enough away that nobody on the team or their partners would recognize her. she wanted to surprise connor.

"i feel like i could vomit." she confessed, sitting next to becca who only gave her an encouraging smile. "the game's underway, maybe that'll distract?" she questioned and kailey could only laugh in response. the two's attention focused on the game, and some point during it she had sent a text to not only tessa, alex vlasics girlfriend but her mom as well, sealing it with a picture of her view. her mom and dad gushed and sent words of encouragement and tessa begged for her to meet them after the game in the wags and family box. to which kailey responded, was a tba. the blackhawks ended up wining 3-1 with connor getting a goal and two assists. and with being on somewhat of a high, she told tessa that they would meet her in the 200's section. tessa stood their waiting for them and as soon as she saw them, she began to jump up and down with excitement. "im so happy you're here!!!" tessa gushed, pulling kailey in for a huge hug. she then moved towards becca and the two of them hyped the youngest hughes up. "oh my god, stopppp." she said blushing. "can you not, were in public you two." as the two girls highfived each other. "what?! this is a big deal girlfriend. you made it through the entire game." becca said shaking the girl just a bit. tessa's phone dinged with a text from alex, him and connor were walking towards the box now.

"get your ass in there, now." tessa demand pointing back towards the box door and becca quicky pulled her inside. becca smiled and waved to some of the girl's she had met at new years with kailey, and they were all happy to see kailey. finally. "im nervous beccs." kailey said in a whisper and becca smiled, "he'll be happy to see you chica." she smiled down at her best friend who only nodded.

kailey heard his voice before she saw him, and once becca looked behind her she turned around. connor hadn't taken notice yet but once tessa made a nonchalant comment, he quickly looked around the now - desolate- room and then his eyes landed on her. she smiled softly, once their eyes connected. he smiled, and then made his way over ot the girl. he pulled her in for a big hug without a word, his nose finding the crook of her neck. "hi pretty girl." he whispered, and she found herself blushing like a fool. "hey superstar." she grinned, before he pulled back a bit to look at her. then he noticed the t-shirt and he smiled, taking a step back to inspect it. "oh, i brought it just for this occasion." she grinned making him chuckle just a bit. "its my face." he said a bit stunned, "it is your face." becca said monotoned which made kailey snicker. "its alright, he's got a pretty face." she teased, "a pretty face, huh?" they heard Phillip kurashev tease and that made connor roll his eyes. "pretty pretty connor!" kevin joined in causing more chuckles to arise, "lets go pretty boy!" mackenzie entwistle teased, and kailey smiled softly.

"come on pretty boy." she teased, beginning to walk out with everybody else. "i should put that as your new name in my phone." becca mused, typing away on her phone. "i swear to god becca if you do!" connor threatened playfully, "you'll what?" she grinned back. "ill tell your little secret..." connor began only for becca to hear and that made becca grow quiet. "you wouldn't dare,🖕🏻" she texted and connor only giggled in response as they walked towards connor car.

so what secret, connor baby? lmao

please like and reblog if you liked!

[rattycattyfanfic]

missing saw iii scene where lynn asks about the rosary on amanda's belt 👁️👁️👁️👁️

im so sorry this took so long omg. well. ok anyway have this now after like 6 months ;-; thank you so much for the prompt oomf!! <3<3

this is set slightly after the game as i couldnt figure out where to fit it into saw iii canon??

rated: T words: 3,377 cw: religious talk, possible blasphemy?, mentions of scars, substance abuse

Lynn returns to the scene of the crime like a ghost, finds herself in a cab towards the edge of town before she knows what she’s doing. She pulls her coat tighter around her as she gets out, smooths out non-existent creases, and shoves a fistful of bills into the driver’s hand before he can ask any questions and before she can come to her senses. 

It looks different in the daylight, in the harsh hot sun, but when she steps inside it’s as if she’s stepped right back into that fateful night. It’s dingy, a little damp, just as she remembers it. The only difference is a few strings of gaudy police tape leftover from the investigation gone cold, sticking out like party streamers amongst the grime. Lynn’s healed stomach wound itches like it hasn’t in weeks. She sticks her fingers inside her coat, between the buttons of her shirt, and digs her nails into gnarled scar tissue.

Amanda returns to the scene of the crime too, like a stray returning home, like a hyena sniffing for leftovers. Her hunched, hooded form gives Lynn pause, just for a second. She thinks about turning and leaving, suddenly feeling wide awake and stupid. The girl’s shoulders shake, or it seems like it from such a distance, the workshop stretching out between them, her shape fuzzy through those filthy plastic curtains.

She should go. 

She reaches deep into her pocket and pops a valium, and steps forward as quietly as she can.

Just as Lynn has been coming unwound the last few long months, fixating on details, reliving and re-reliving, Amanda also seems to be coming apart. She doesn’t move at all as Lynn approaches, seemingly stuck in place, lost in her head. Maybe her instincts have been dulled by grief or maybe she simply doesn’t care, doesn’t care to turn and look or jump to defensiveness as she would have that night. It works out better for Lynn, at least, but she can’t help but feel a little hollow at the thought of Amanda ghosting aimlessly for the last three months.

Lynn pushes through plastic and stops a boot-length away from the girl’s shoulder.

“You’re stuck too, huh,” Amanda murmurs without turning or looking. Her fingers worry the edge of the stripped and stained hospital mattress, head hung low. Lynn doesn’t know how Amanda could tell it was her. Maybe she’d spent so long stalking her prey that she knows by heart the resonance of her footsteps. Maybe she knows no one else would bother to come looking for her or come back to this tomb of a building. 

“Yeah,” Lynn says simply. She waits, curious to see how this will play out. She’d moved so slowly through the warehouse that her chemical crutch is beginning to kick in, and she can’t find it in herself to be scared, or angry, or anything more than sickly fascinated. She waits with bated breath for something to happen.

Amanda scoffs, a bitter, wet little thing. She scuffs her boot against the tile floor, kicks absently at the foot of the bed. “He should’ve let me kill you when I had the chance,” she grunts, and a shudder shakes her tiny frame. 

Lynn knows better than to ask for clarification. He is the reason they’ve both trailed back here, pathetically searching for answers or absolution or something, anything. “Maybe,” she murmurs passively. 

The girl spins in one quick move, her faded hoodie sweeping around her. She shakes the hood away, and her hair is greasy and wild. “Maybe?” she chokes, disbelieving. It’s not as sharp as it should maybe have sounded, and the wind goes out of Amanda’s sails. Her eyes are wet, raw, and she looks incredibly tired. “What, is that it? You came back here hoping I’d finish the job? Is the gift of your life really that bad?”

Lynn is unflinching. “I don’t know why I came back here,” she says. “I honestly couldn’t tell you.”

Another scoff. Amanda drags her hands over her pink cheeks, combs restlessly through her hair, all her movements speaking to something frustrated and lost and deeply, deeply exhausted. “Great, great. Real fuckin’ smart, doc.” She spins, rubs her face again with nails this time, and then her sleeve, and then turns back to Lynn. Pink lines streak down her cheek, raised claw marks layered on top of her frustrated flush. Her lip curls, and she sighs, only half committed to defensive snarling. “Well, you better figure it out quick, or fucking leave. I’m not in the mood for company.”

And then she settles again at the side of the bed, half-turned away from Lynn. Her hair curtains her face, but her fingers give her away, antsy still as they poke holes in the soiled mattress. She fingers the stuffing and sniffles every now and then, and Lynn is still no closer to understanding anything at all. 

Words spill out of her mouth before she can think better and swallow them. “Have you been here the whole time? Living here?”

Amanda shrugs once. She’s quiet, and Lynn thinks she’s maybe outstayed her welcome already, that she won’t answer. “Been here. Around,” she grunts. She sniffs again, and shudders a breath. “H-he had safe houses. Just in case. Only a couple haven’t been compromised yet.” 

Safe houses, compromised. Lynn is reminded that this is so much bigger than them, a wild goose chase of cops and accomplices straight out of a shitty late night crime show. She feels small, her and her sleepless nights and little orange pill bottles, just a small piece of a sprawling web of pain. “The cops aren’t looking for you?” Lynn asks, and wanders a little. She finds herself at the edge of the room instinctively, back pressed against dirty tile. 

“I’m careful,” the girl mutters. “It’s not hard to disappear, really. Not if you know how.” She digs her fingers into a red-brown hole and toys with a strand of stained stuffing, and then turns to eye Lynn cautiously, still picking. 

“Right.” Lynn thinks she knows, but probably not better than Amanda. She remembers pleading with Jeff, in this very room, in a lawyer’s office, wishing to be heard and doubting she’s even speaking at all. It’s not a problem she can easily fit with what she knows of Amanda, barking and looming as she had that night, but – maybe. No fixed address, almost no material belongings, and the scars on her arms visible even in this low light speak to an unsettling ghostliness, like she might suddenly vanish before Lynn’s very eyes. Her figure wobbles as Lynn ponders this, and she sucks in a steadying breath and slides to the floor, one palm pressed against the wall. 

Her hand slides against something dry and crumbly, and she quickly pulls back into herself. She places her palm on her knee instead, places her forehead on the back of her hand, wills herself to get it the fuck together. She used to be good at that, before exams, before surgeries. She’s out of practice now.

When she looks up again after god knows how long, Amanda is staring at her with a peculiar expression, like she’s something to figure out. She’s chewing her lip, something curious in her eyes – not unkind, but not exactly sympathetic either. “You didn’t learn anything,” she states. It’s not a question.

Lynn barks a short laugh, humourless and harsh. It feels too loud. She feels insane, out of place. Colours swim and pop in her vision from where she’d pressed her hands against her eyes. The diazepam wraps around her like cotton and she feels like maybe this is just some kind of bizarre trauma dream, the work of her brain trying to process any other potential outcome for that night.

“Neither did I,” Amanda whispers, and slowly folds herself down onto the floor by the bed, knees pulled up to her chin, mirroring Lynn. “I — I thought I did, I thought–” She sobs drily and rubs her face against the sleeves of her hood again. She stills, staring at Lynn with hollow eyes and newly wet cheeks. Seemingly never able to be still, her fingers start to toy with something attached to her belt in lieu of the mattress. “He helped me.”

It rings hollow as she says it, like a mantra that’s been repeated too many times to the point of emptiness.

“You were in a trap too,” Lynn realises, too late, too slow. The pieces begin to all fit together slowly, and she begins to understand – this scarred, volatile girl scrabbling for a place to belong, for someone to fix her. Lynn stares harder despite her swimming vision, and thinks she sees faint scars at the very corner of red lips, faded silver but raised just enough to be visible. You’d be surprised what tools can save a life. 

Piece by piece, she thinks she might be able to understand, almost. 

“Catch up,” the girl scoffs, and pulls at the thing attached to her belt in an antsy motion. The almost wooden sounding clicking of – beads? – gets under Lynn’s skin, but maybe it’s supposed to. Or maybe Amanda doesn’t even know she’s doing it. She huffs raggedly, and pauses for a moment to wipe at her cheeks again. “I thought he helped me. I thought he could help you too.” She sniffs angrily. “Look at the fuckin’ state of us.” 

Lynn is quiet. She watches as this strange girl in front of her breathes wetly and stares at her knees, and then at whatever she’s fucking around with. Her hair falls into her face prettily, and her nose is red. That strange click-clacking sound continues as Amanda fiddles anxiously, and Lynn can’t hear herself think over the noise, can’t think of anything to say. 

“What is that?” she asks abruptly. 

“Huh?” Amanda glances up sharply. The sound stops for a second.

“That – whatever you’re fucking with right now,” Lynn bites.

Amanda blinks. “Hu– oh.” She looks down for a moment and worries her lip. She entwines the thing around her fingers and lifts them up slightly, just enough for Lynn to see it above the shape of knees. 

It’s – a string of wooden beads. Lynn thinks she can squint the shape of a small silver cross somewhere in the middle of the string, and furrows her brows. “I didn’t take you for the religious type.”

“I’m not,” Amanda snaps. “I think it’s all a stupid crock of shit.” She rubs her thumb tenderly over one bead as she says it. 

Lynn stares pointedly at the rosary, and saves her breath. 

“Just – don’t. Whatever you’re about to say, don’t,” Amanda grits out. She breathes shakily, and takes the rosary in both hands, laying it across her lap and fingering each bead gently, methodically between trembling fingers. She takes another breath, slower and deeper, as if centering herself. It doesn’t seem to help, and she goes back to click-clacking instead. “When he was – I tried everything, at the end. Every pill, every therapy. Nothing helped, really,” the girl murmurs, quiet and unnervingly vulnerable. 

Lynn nods. She thinks she knows where this is heading – she’s seen it for herself, in the hospital, the sheer desperation of loved ones – but she stays quiet anyway, waits for the words to tumble from Amanda’s mouth, loathe to interrupt this unexpected moment of sharing. 

“I never read as much as I did when I was with him. Homeopathy, philosophy, theology. Fucking medical dictionaries,” Amanda continues. She glances up sharply, meets Lynn’s eye for half a second. “I’m not as stupid as people wanna think.”

“I know,” Lynn murmurs. “First hand,” she adds wryly, and thinks about the horrifyingly expert attempts of manipulation she’d seen her first time meeting the girl. “Go on?”

Amanda’s lips pull into half a smirk, and then she shudders, sucks in a trembling breath. “I read everything. I tried everything. At the end – what harm was it gonna do? He was already half-dead.” Her voice cracks, and a dozen expressions flicker across her face in a moment. “Well – whatever. It didn’t help. It didn’t save him, or me. At least now I know for sure it’s all bullshit.” She stares down at the rosary in her palms for a long moment, considering. “I thought I could save him, if I believed in it hard enough. I thought I could help him like he helped me. Fucking stupid.”

“He didn’t help you, Amanda.” Lynn picks her words carefully, and still kicks herself. “And it’s not stupid,” she murmurs gently, sugar after a harsh pill. “I’ve seen it dozens of times at the hospital. It’s human.” 

Amanda blinks again, and seems dumb-founded by the ounce of human kindness that Lynn manages. She stares at Lynn with huge, dark eyes, emotions unreadable. “I really thought he did,” she mumbles, ignoring the proffered syrupy words entirely. “I thought that – Now I don’t know what to think.” She tangles the rosary up in itself absent-mindedly. It knots around her fingers, loops messily, and Amanda says in a small voice, “I don’t know what to do with myself.” 

“I don’t know, Amanda. I don’t know the answer to that either.”

Amanda’s glassy eyes refocus, and she stares at Lynn with furrowed brows. She glances down at the knotted beads, and begins to attempt to untangle them to no avail. “You’re a real fucking help, doc,” she grumbles. 

Lynn huffs in frustration, and squeezes the bridge of her nose. Talking to Amanda like this is giving her a headache. She almost wishes they were scrapping again. At least that was straightforward, predictable, rather than this back and forth, up and down. “You think I have the answers? If it’s any consolation, I came here for – I don’t know what, but I’m only more lost,” she grits out between her teeth.

“Well. I can still always kill you,” the girl chirps. Her voice is deceptively light. She has the rosary wrapped and stretched around her fingers so hard that her fingertips are turning white. She flashes a dangerous, empty grin and pulls at the beads harder. “That offer’s still on the table.” 

“Thanks so much,” Lynn says flatly. “I’ll let you know if it comes to that.” 

Amanda opens her mouth to say something. She flinches and pauses whatever smart-ass retort she has queued up when the string abruptly snaps between her fingers. Wooden beads scatter across tile, and the girl stares in shock as they bounce every which way. She clutches the snapped and now empty string. “Shit–”

Lynn watches one bead roll across the floor and stop at her feet. She glances up at Amanda, who looks like she might be about to cry again. “Feel better?” she asks, cautious.

Amanda stares at the bead at Lynn’s feet, and then at the string. “No,” she whispers. “Fuck, I– I need that,” she garbles, and lurches forward to try and gather the beads up. “I need those–” she repeats hoarsely, and looks crazed, scrabbling around on the floor. 

Something tugs at Lynn as she watches for a moment, anxious movements and the girl hunched over on the tiles, hands shaking, playful sarcasm gone. She moves forward before she has time to think, and places her hands over Amanda’s trembling ones. “Amanda.”

The girl glances up, startled. She blinks owlishly. She doesn’t, to her credit, pull away from the unexpected touch.

“Stop. He’s gone,” Lynn murmurs. 

Amanda stares, blinks down at the beads surrounding them, and then back at Lynn. Her frame shakes, and she looks about ready to spin out, as if one little piece of string had been all that had held her delusions together up until now. 

“He’s gone. You don’t need them,” Lynn says, low and quiet, as soothing as she can possibly manage. “You said yourself, they didn’t help. None of it helped. He’s dead, it’s over, and there’s nothing those can do about it.” 

Amanda trembles, and then full-body shudders, bowing her head. She makes a horrible sobbing sound, and then nods. “I – yeah. Yeah.” 

“Yeah,” Lynn repeats, and nods, even though Amanda isn’t looking at her anymore. She squeezes cold hands tightly in hers, tight enough that she might worry about hurting her, if they were both different people. She lets the moment breathe, waits and squeezes and stays quiet and still as Amanda seems to try to get herself together, curled over on the floor. It feels familiar, like Amanda hunched and sobbing after John’s seizure, and yet somehow altogether odd.

Finally, the girl sniffs wetly, unpleasantly. She ducks her head, curls her spine to press her wet face to the arms of her hoodie again and wipe away tears harder than necessary. She lets out one tiny, agonised whimper, and then sits back on her haunches and snatches her hands from beneath Lynn’s, tucking them safely back up into her sleeves. 

“Ok?” Lynn asks lowly. 

Amanda shivers, but doesn’t make another move for the beads, or for Lynn. She straightens her back. “Fine. Fucking fine.” 

It’s not very convincing, but Lynn is about at her limit with the touchy-feely stuff that doesn’t come natural to her, and she suspects Amanda is too. She won’t push it. She sits back against the wall again and picks at a loose string on her pants. “Right.”

The girl jerks her head in a nod. She sweeps her sleeves over her cheeks once more, and then she shakes her head. “Bonding time’s over,” she grunts, and stands up, brushing off her pants. She wobbles a little, but stays rigid and upright, and gruffly kicks a few beads Lynn’s way. “Time to go home.”

Lynn watches the girl for a moment, and nods. “Sure, whatever. Good talk,” she says flatly, and gets to her feet, stomping away some pins and needles. Amanda doesn’t look at her or respond, just shoves her hands defensively into her pockets and sweeps through the plastic sheeting as fast as she can without actually fleeing. Lynn follows, a few paces behind, wary but somewhat relieved as they leave the tomb of the meat plant. 

They step back out into blinding sun and heat rising off concrete in funny waves, and it occurs to Lynn that: one, she has never seen Amanda in the sunlight before, and two, Amanda is leaving the plant. She is going somewhere. “Where are you going to go?” Lynn reluctantly asks, shielding her eyes from the sun in the warehouse yard. It’s not that she cares, really – more that if Amanda is going to be hanging around the city, Lynn would like to be aware of it, maybe have an inkling of whether to expect to have another altercation.

Amanda jumps, as if she’d forgotten that Lynn was there at all. There’s that lack of care, again, that Lynn finds mildly concerning. The girl shrugs nonchalantly, and produces a pair of black sunglasses from her pocket. They look fucking ridiculous, and don’t make her look any less conspicuous, but Lynn supposes they do at least make her a little more anonymous. In this light, her face is bright and pale, like an overexposed photo. The scars at the corners of her mouth are barely visible. Dressed like this, she could be almost anyone, could fade into a crowd like a ghost. The thought makes Lynn shudder. 

“See where I end up, I guess,” Amanda chirps, laying on the false bravado once more. “Wouldn’t wanna tell you, anyway. You might hand me in.” She grins, and looks insane, with her hood and sunglasses and generally dishevelled appearance. 

“If I was going to call the police, don’t you think I would have done it by now?” Lynn sighs. 

Amanda shrugs again. “I don’t know. You’re an enigma.” She smirks a little, almost lecherous, and then furrows her brow. “Anyway. This has been fun. Let’s not do it again sometime, ok?” And with one more unsettling grin, she heads off in a random direction, as if she knows where she’s going or where she’ll end up. Lynn is left standing outside a derelict crime scene, scratching her scarred belly through her coat and trying to remember the taxi rank phone number.

AO3

[nerves-nebula]

Re read Loose Stitches and it got me thinking about school experiences that made me realize something really weird my parents always said that stemmed into something that actively still a problem now that I’m in university, where I really struggle to admit when I’m struggling or don’t know something, even though that’s the point of school. My parents always used to say I shouldn’t ever say “I don’t know” and got mad at me for asking questions about stuff they asked me to do, and got reaaal snippy whenever I asked for clarification or for them to repeat what the told me to do. Stuff like that made me weird about getting help from teachers in any scenario, which I’m realizing is a whole avoidant behavior thing that fucks me up even when I do ask for help. Any way, I don’t know why I’m telling u any of this—I feel like my asks to u always get traumadump-y—but Loose Stitches captures a series of very vivid experiences which makes me think which is cool and I love it a lot, I guess.

sammeeee. well, sort of. they'd both get annoyed if i questioned them and my own self imposed anxiety + their bullying made me terrified to ask questions and look "stupid" but at least my dad is enamored enough by the concept of learning that he doesn't hate ALL questions. if you ask the right ones he'll even be delighted :D at least, that's what I remember. it's been a long time now.

I'm in my junior year of college and I've basically only just now realized that I should probably have emailed professors a lot more than I did. for help, advice, questions. i mean they're the greatest assets we have here, they have SO MUCH knowledge and I've just been too afraid of bothering them to ask.

y'know, loose stitches was never supposed to be about school or the education system or CPS or anything like that. in fact, while writing part 1 I was initially annoyed because I wanted to get to all the "cool" stuff that happens in part 2 and I needed to spend all this time in this setting i didn't care about (this weird hybrid CPS housing/college campus) in order to do it. but in having to flesh out that "boring" stuff in part 1, i've found that's not so boring or uninteresting after all, and it's gonna make part 2 way better as well when i dive into all the ways the system can and has failed people, not JUST our main two characters.

honestly, I still think the world of loose stitches is kind of underdeveloped, because the focus was never really on the world building for me so a lot of it is just life experiences and what I've learned from history with a slightly different nonhuman context.

ummmm that has nothing to do with what you've said here and i just realized im rambling. should get back to work now, thanks for the ask! I always love to hear what people think about my comic <3

[1eos]

youre so right it pisses me off that people throw us with learning and intellectual disabilities under the bus when they refuse to engage in critcal thought like yes there is a problem with a lot of information not being accessible to us but yall misreading/straight up not reading a post and making shit up to get mad at is not at all similar to our struggles.... like you said asking clarifying questions is a tool that is readily available if you dont understand something so why bring up a strawman hypothetical disabled person (bc the people who do this 90% of the time are NOT intellectually disabled) in a conversation that isnt applicable???

oh y'all have been speaking nothing but facts in the inbox lately!!!!!!! a lot of ppl have pointed this out before so ik im not tripping bc ive noticed so many people be like 'ofc im an asshole that puts words in people's mouths so i can degrade and/or look down on them bc im ~neurodivergent~ we're all so stupid and mean and can't learn' and playing into harmful stereotypes 9 times out of 10 they won't ever face directly. and then cry ableism when theyre the ones being ableist by implying people with certain disabilities can't learn, can't read, and can't be kind?????? like what is going on???? there's nothing wrong with being confused or needing clarification in good faith its just that online rarely is anyone actually engaging w what you ACTUALLY said nor are they engaging in it in good faith 😭😭😭😭 if i make a post that's like 'adults frequently make online spaces for children hostile' and you go 'there's too much sex on tv i should then be allowed to make childrens shows sexual' you're not engaging w what i actually said AND you're arguing in bad faith. and when someone w sense says stay on topic ppl like this will JUMP to bring up intellectual disabilities??? and they don't even have one? that just makes you an asshole!!! i swearrrrrrrr sometimes you read takes on neurodivergency online and you will be hard pressed to guess if the person is an ableist republican senator or a white person w adhd avoiding accountability

[a-pop-of-korean]

hello, im a total beginner so i just wanted to ask for clarification.

this has prob been asked before, but using 당신 as 'you' typically isnt proper right? such as if you use it with strangers or people youre not close with. and i heard that basically dangsin should be replaced with name or title?

maybe this is a stupid way of asking but i just wanted to understand more. is it basically sort of like the english equivalent of always referring to people in third person (like if youre talking to someone named john and you say 'is john busy' instead of 'are you busy') except it doesnt sound strange in korean like it does in english since thats just how the language is right? i hope the way i asked makes sense haha.

also because im a total beginner sometimes in a rush i plug stuff into papago to communicate with some people for now (which of course i know, a web translator isnt the best idea for communicating but i just dont know enough korean yet LOL and i just want to be as polite as possible and make the best out of the situation). papago defaults to 당신 a lot, is it possible just replace the two characters with the person's name or title without having to change the rest of the sentence? thank you!

Hi! This is NOT a dumb question; it took me a while to grasp this too! You're exactly right though! 당신 in most contexts is inappropriate -- you'll pretty much only hear it when people are arguing, or it could be used between romantic couples. Otherwise, you shouldn't use it.

Instead, as you said, you should use either the person's name or title with the proper suffix. For instance:

존 씨 바빠요? = Are you busy? -> directed at someone named John

언니 바빠요? = Are you busy? -> asked by a woman directed at a woman who is older than her (언니 is used between women who are close with each other; it's less formal)

선생님 바쁘세요? = Are you busy? -> directed at a teacher

바쁘세요 is a more polite version of 바빠요.

Even though this looks like we're speaking in the third person to someone's face, don't worry -- this sounds perfectly natural in Korean!

You could also just drop the name/title altogether and just ask 바빠요? or 바쁘세요? and it will usually be understood to whom you are referring.

What about in informal contexts, like when you're talking to someone your age or younger than you? You can use 너 or 네가 or stick with their name. I hope this clears stuff up -- it can def seem unnatural to an English speaker, but with practice it’ll sound more natural! Thanks for the great question! 화이팅!

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1

It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.

Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!

Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.

Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!

Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!

Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?

Either way is ok, I’m just curious!

I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.

Hey!  Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life.  It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year.  I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway.  Was just curious about Step 4.  Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?

Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.

¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english) 

Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.

Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3 

How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.

Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there  would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask 

Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.

Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event? 

It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.

HELLO AMAZING DEVS 👋 i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!! 

Haha, thank you. He doesn’t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.

Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC? 

Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.

Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3? 

Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.

will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused? 

It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.

Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits? 

Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.

Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it. 

For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.

Did the illustrator for Our Life change? 

We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.

So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀 

Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.

Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.

Keep up the amazing work! ♡

Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.

Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it? 

I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.

Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!

Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline  events planned? 

I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!

Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game! 

The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.

Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place? 

Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.

Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence? 

Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.

Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?

After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.

Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.

She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.

Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀

It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.

—– —– —– —–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[thoi2020]

u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????

hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?

pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).

revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.

analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).

make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much. 

practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.

for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:

stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.

ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember. 

now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.

and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.

also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

So, I'll bite, because I think some of these conversations should be had publicly and not behind the cloak of anon.

Why does it bother you personally if someone ships Kataang and is anti Zuko, if they are not tagging those posts in the Kataang tag?

I have a mutual who hates Zuko and ships Kataang. She keeps her opinions to herself in her own blog, tagging her posts anti zuko just in case. Why is hatred of a fictional character somehow an offense in fandom now? No one is going to die because she thinks Zuko shouldn't have been in the show.

Here's the deal: I only am tangentially involved in ATLA fandom. From what I see, most Kataang fans don't care what other people ship. They want to make their own content and be free of the stupid takes on Aang, Katara and their relationship that permeate their fandom. But even if they did hate or resent multishippers, if they are not calling you out or reblogging your properly tagged ship posts to shit on them, what business is it of yours?

The idea that a Kataang fan who can create content and add to the fandom, but happens to hate Zuko or any other character or ship being a "bad fan" is ludicrous. I don't know why so many people seem to be afraid to say this to you without hiding.

P.S.: It's pretty obvious that one troll anon is writing all of these anons, probably to get you riled up against Kataang fans who are looking at this shit like "wtf?" You and others are being used to spread dissent in a harmless part of fandom, but a person who hates Zuko on their own blog is the problem?

hi! firstly, i greatly appreciate you being willing to step forward and ask for clarification; i wish more people would do so instead of jumping to ridiculous conclusions lmaooo

secondly, you have asked some great questions! im gonna try to take them one at a time bc it works best for my brain lolol

1) it does not bother me if the posts are properly tagged! in fact, i don't believe i ever implied it did, so im a little confused on why you bring that up 😂 what does bother me is when unsolicited anti zuko anons barge into my inbox and insist that it's impossible to like zuko and ship kataang and similarly negative rhetoric. bc like. yeah, that's really rude and kills motivation 😂

2) hatred of a fictional character is not a fandom offense! i have simply expressed in the past my personal opinion on my personal blog that i don't understand anti rhetoric bc i can't fathom investing so much time and energy into hatred of a fictional person lmao. but again, the issue is not from properly tagged content, it's from the anons who show up and try to interrogate me about how i can possibly ship kataang and also appreciate zuko,, like hello?? people can have different opinions?? you don't see me going into anyone's inboxes like that, tf 😂 fandom etiquette 101

3) you're right that most kataang shippers don't care what other people ship! my expressing discomfort with a very small portion of the atla fandom does not negate the fact that i love kataang. maybe this is crazy lmao, but i have the range to be uncomfortable with rude anons and anti content (the latter of which is a personal squick and again! if it's appropriately tagged, evidently not what im referring to) while simultaneously acknowledging that a majority of the kataang fandom is a wonderful place. like, i wouldn't make so much kataang content if i hated the fandom hello 😂

4) that's the thing - i have gotten numerous anons who rudely insist that they don't think it's possible for me to ship kataang and also like other aang and katara ships. so you're damn right, i do have a problem with the harassment that i (and some of friends who actually only ship kataang!) have received. i am sure you can understand why it's both hurtful and frustrating for someone to tell me i can't possibly appreciate kataang just because i have other ships for those characters, too. so yes, idc what people do on their personal blogs, but you're damn right i feel hurt when people show up on my blog and criticize what is literally a fun hobby for me. it's unwanted, unnecessary, and im tired of it

5) you're right, that is ludicrous, and i have never once stated that. in fact, i always emphasize the importance of curating one's own online experience! i only have a problem when those people (and others) accuse me of taking positions i have never taken, insist i can't enjoy kataang bc i like zuko and/or other katara and aang ships, and continually harass myself and my friends for it. which like,, im sure you can sympathize 😂

6) im inclined to agree it's only a few different people writing those anons. they need to get a hobby lmaooo

7) a person who hates zuko is not the problem, the problem is a person who hates zuko harassing myself and others. it is quite simple. (which is clearly not your friend, btw!! i appreciate them tagging appropriately 💕)

i hope this provides the clarification you seek, my friend! i appreciate your honesty and your willingness to seek understanding and further information when you recognized you weren't getting the full picture 💛 have a great day!!

[psychosistr]

Green-Eyed Monsters- Chapter 6

Summary: On their way home, Steelbeak gets a lecture about why you shouldn’t knowingly drink spiked beverages and Dominic gets an embarrassing answer to a question he didn’t even think to ask...as well as more questions that he still needs answered..

Notes: Just a little interlude before we get into the emotional reconciliation of the final chapter.

-First Chapter-

“-most stupid, idiotic ideas you’ve EVER had!” Dominic’s voice was loud enough to be heard clearly over the roar of the flashy car’s powerful engine and the barely-audible music coming from the radio, even from outside the vehicle. “Why in the world would you knowingly drink not just one, but SEVERAL cocktails laced with who-knows-what?! It could have been arsenic, for all you knew!”

While the lecture certainly sounded harsh, in Dominic’s defense, he’d been quietly seething and biting his tongue for hours before finally getting to unleash the full brunt of his accumulated frustration from the evening’s events. After that two-faced femme-fatale had left them to deal with escaping on their own, the deadly duo had found themselves quite busy escaping the mansion (with the assistance of Emelia’s mattress that they’d thrown out the window to cushion their fall so they could jump from the upper floor more safely), sneaking past security, and speeding off in their getaway-car before security could close off the property. Once they’d escaped, the loon’s top priority had been getting medical attention for his partner, so he’d pushed aside his lingering irritation until one of FOWL’s doctors had cleared Steelbeak and given them the green-light to go home together (the metal-mouthed fowl would be dizzy, nauseous, and possibly have some memory loss the next day, but seemed like he’d recover with some bed rest and medicine provided by the doctor).

Now that they were heading home, however, now he had a perfect opportunity to unleash the rant that had been building since they’d left the mansion.

“Didn’t taste like almonds..” Steelbeak, currently seated in the passenger’s seat of his Lincoln Continental and leaning against the door so he could get the full benefit of the air coming in through the open window, seemed either too out of it, too bored, or too much of both to really be bothered by the volume of his partner’s voice. “Sides, I’ve had worse than a little rope slipped in my drink……give the guy makin’ ‘em some credit for waitin’ ‘til I ordered thicker drinks t’ start goin’ heavier with the pills- couldn’t see ‘em in those..”

The loon’s eyebrow twitched in agitation and he was fairly certain that the scowl on his face would become permanent at this rate. “Here’s a thought: How about NOT showing admiration towards the people who try to drug and murder you? It’s a novel concept, I know, but I think you’d benefit from it!”

Steelbeak’s eyes did their best attempt to roll upon hearing the other man’s sarcastic tone, but they only made it about halfway before giving up and closing. “Never said I admired ‘im…just sayin’ the guy knew what he was doin’…” A quiet groan rumbled in his chest as he rubbed his head, the dizziness still a prevalent symptom he was combating. “You’re makin’ this way bigger than it needs t’ be..ain’t like nothin’ happened-”

Successfully rolling his own red eyes, the darker fowl tried to continue. “Because-”

“-‘cause you were watchin’ out for me.” It was hard to tell if the slightly less coherent man actually knew what the loon was about to say or if he’d been in the middle of saying it to begin with. Either way, his partner let him continue explaining himself; if nothing else, it gave his throat a break and allowed him to prepare for the next round of ranting. “You were watchin’ me like a hawk all night…didn’ really have a way t’ avoid drinkin’ it without lettin’……whatever ‘er name was-”

“Emelia.” Dominic felt a small swell of delight in hearing that the lighter bird couldn’t even remember that conniving carnivore’s name, but he didn’t allow it to show as he kept his eyes on the road and his scowl firmly in place.

“Yeah..her…” Steelbeak gave a slight nod, but couldn’t be bothered to repeat the word. “Couldn’t get outta drinkin’ it without her knowin’ I was ont’ her……but, figured you were watchin’ an’ you’d follow me…” Dark grey eyes finally opened half way, his previous wave of dizziness subsiding for the moment. “Nothin’ else, figured Mara’d follow me like in Rio an’ you’d go after her..”

Whatever slight bit of improvement Dominic’s mood had taken was stripped away at the mere mention of that aggravating double-agent. “Oh, so you were expecting HER to rescue you? Well then, maybe I should have just let you two have your fun since you clearly enjoyed her company so much.”

“Ha! I trust that broad ‘bout as far as she can throw me.” Dark grey eyes glanced at the tight grip the other man had on the steering wheel. “Don’t get why you’re so worked up ‘bout ‘er…she’s not THAT bad…”

Red eyes gave a brief, irritated roll before focusing on the road once more. “Oh, wow, I wonder how I could possibly have a problem with some woman dancing and flirting with my partner all night.” Before he could say anything else on the matter, Dominic was startled when said partner started to laugh hysterically. Caught somewhere between insulted and mildly concerned- he wasn’t sure if this may have been a side-effect of the drugs still affecting Steelbeak’s mood and mental stability- the loon pondered the idea of pulling over to either check on the other man’s health or possibly slap him, depending on what the situation called for.

“You think she was FLIRTIN’ with me?!” The rooster managed to gasp out between fits of laughter, holding his sides as if in pain from the hilarity of the situation. That annoyingly nasal laugh of his was all that could be heard for a solid minute, acting as if this was the funniest thing he’d heard in ages. Just as Dominic was ready to pull the car over and give the overly-gleeful fowl a piece of his mind, Steelbeak managed to get a full sentence out that took him a moment to decipher: “Deedee, she’s ‘bout as interested in me, as you’d be in her.”

When the weight of those words finally sunk in, Dominic felt like he would have smacked himself in the forehead if both hands weren’t still tightly gripping the steering wheel.

A lesbian.

He’d spent a good portion of the evening feeling one-upped and threatened by a lesbian.

Face burning with shame beneath his dark feathers, the aquatic avian decided to deflect his embarrassment with a mask of frustration (not that it was that hard to pull off given their earlier conversation). “Why didn’t you just tell me that from the beginning?”

Having finally gotten over his laughing fit but still sporting an amused grin, Steelbeak slumped back down against the passenger-side door with a shrug. “Ya didn’t ask.” He covered his mouth around a yawn, his previous bout of activity apparently tiring him out again.

“I shouldn’t have to ask.” Dominic shook his head, sparing a less harsh look at the lighter fowl once they’d reached a stop light. “You need to give me any intel that could be vital to our mission. I need to know these things- we’re partners.”

In the few seconds his red eyes glanced away to make sure the light hadn’t changed color, the sharpshooter missed the expression that accompanied Steelbeak’s quiet, slightly disappointed tone of voice. “Is that all we are…?” By the time he looked back to ask for clarification, Dominic saw the other’s dark eyes had closed and he was sound asleep.

Left confused and uncertain once again about Steelbeak’s apparent displeasure regarding their partnership, Dominic sighed and swallowed his words for the time being. They’d have to talk about this when the other man WASN’T recovering from an overdose of mind-altering substances.

<--Previous Chapter Next Chapter-->

End Notes: Short chapter is short, sorry ^.^” Despite its shortness, I hope you guys still enjoyed the little moments of Domino getting to lecture Steelbeak before feeling embarrassed of his own misplaced jealousy xD

[advicefor-yu]

Submission from D

(if you see my story on another advice blog, its because the waiting list for another ask blog i came to was four whole months and im not sure if i can wait that long :( im sorry if this comes off as rude but i needed advice and you seem wonderful and trustworthy)

Hello, ive seen some people come here for help and im hoping for some clarification/advice on some issues. Im 16 years old and a sophomore turning junior next year, during my freshman year of highschool, i began secretly dating someone, Z , my parents found out and grounded me. I tried leaving him but i felt so in love, that every time i did i just ended up right back to him. I suffered from no social contact with anyone as punishment, for the year and the summer, i felt as though i was obsessed with him and after some miscommunication we ended our relationship. Ive recently began dating a new guy, M. hes sweet and funny, but before this pandemic me and Z had forgiven eachother for all the stuff we had put each other through and were friends now?? I guess,, Z occasionally has messaged me and responded to my posts on social media and I believe I’m suppressing romantic feelings for him although I love my boyfriend very much. I dont think i was ever completely over my last relationship and its quite frightening. I wouldnt ever go back to him due to the damage it put on my mental healt but i find myself missing him and fighting back memories of us hanging out. I dont understand why im feeling so conflicted, i could never go back.Im also dealing with family issues. My parents never trusted me after that incident (understaibly so, i would lie to them constantly and sneak off, i feel so guilty and stupid) and my mother lets my other siblings get away with more because they have behaved better in the past. I can barely focus on one thing at a time( i believe i have adhd) and life with an autistic younger brother makes things super hard, we drive outside all day and come home late because otherwise he would panic. My mother has unrealistic expectations of me since im the only female in the household and wants me to give up my dreams to take care of my sibling, and i feel guilty for not wanting that responsibility since my mother always mentions im useless, and that when she was my age she could do much more for herself.

I have so much going on in my head right now and i dont know what to do, i cant reach out for therapy, too much money and my parents believe that only insane people need therapy. I just dont know what to do and im so scared.

thank you in advance, have a good day <3

Everything will be okay, we’re going to work this out one step at a time. If you feel conflicted with your feelings for Z vs M then maybe you can ask yourself a couple of questions and list out the pros and cons for both relationships. It already sounds like you want to be with Z but you’re trying to come up with reasons to why you can’t be with him. 

When you close your eyes, who is the first person you see? When you look at Z, do you get butterflies? What about with M? What does Z have that M doesn’t? Did Z treat you better than M? What can M do to make you forget about Z? There’s always a spark between you and the person you truly feel for, which one gives you that spark? Gives you the feeling of sweeping off of your feet? these questions can give you an idea of whom you’re feeling more for. 

If those questions made you choose Z, then: Why do you want to be with Z despite the mental damage done to you? What guarantee is that you won’t experience that again? Did anything change? Is there a specific thing you miss about him or the relationship that you can implement in your current relationship? 

If you want to get over Z then it’s very important that you put some distance between you two. Remaining in contact will only resurface old feelings and it’ll constantly make you question yourself. So take another break from him, cut him off completely if it will help you out better. No relationship is worth it if it’s constantly affecting your mental health. 

As for your home situation, take it slow. It is not your job to take care of your siblings all the time, they are her children and that is her first priority, not yours. You can help out as much as you can around the house but don’t let her words get to you. This is not your responsibility. You are still young, you are still growing and learning about the world. She has no right to put that extra weight on your shoulders. If you want to help her out, then maybe you guys can come to a mutual agreement on planning a day-to-day schedule. Whereas, you will help clean the dishes if she cooks the meal 3 times a day. Or you’re going to be studying for school from 10am-4pm and after that you can spend time with your siblings or take out the trash or do the dishes. Something that will even out the field for you. Your mom might not like it, but I’m almost positive that she will eventually accommodate to the schedule. I know it’s not gonna be easy to be this assertive or to even suggest this, but at least you can try right? End of the day, you have control over some parts of your life, take advantage of it. 

I hope things begin to look up for you. Hang in there, it will get better soon! 

[jupiterparker]

Literal Perfection (p.p)

Words count: 1.6k

Paring: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: none

A/N: a/n: this is for @celestialparker and @galaxy-parker’s writing challenge

Prompt: “I wish you hadn’t told me.”

In which -> secrets aren’t the best

You were never a huge fan of secrets. It wasn’t like you had traumatic events associated with them or anything. It was just, in general, the feeling you had when it was revealed to you, or the fact that people were capable of them.

Sure sometimes secrets are for a good reason, such as surprise parties. However, you weren't even a surprise type of person.

But in general, secrets weren’t always good, they usually weren’t.

You decided that the day you found out that all your friends had banded together to exclude you. Usually, you all made plans together at lunch, but recently you had been busy with clubs and getting help from teachers. Because of that, you didn’t question why you didn’t know of plans until you asked about that.

But when you had a break coming up, you had asked about plans in advance. That week you were less busy than usual, so you had sat with them at lunch that entire week.

“Want to do something this break?” you asked your friends as you were crossing the road, going home from school. You were happy to actually be present for once at help make plans. But you weren’t expecting all the girls at your table to glance at each other and share a look.

“Um actually, we already have plans,” one of them said. You looked at her for clarification, and she instantly looked away. You frowned and turned to everyone else, only to be met with silence.

“Anywhere there?” you joked, hoping to lighten the mood.

“I mean… I guess you can come though” someone finally said, “if you want” she added on coldly. You bit your lip hurt, that last part made you feel cautious about going, like you would be a stranger, intruding.

You took a deep breath and continued, “when did you make plans?”

“We discussed it in a group chat,” the same girl said slowly, like she was choosing her words carefully not to hurt your feelings, making her self the representative for the rest of them.

You raised an eyebrow at this, a gut feeling telling you that something worse was about to come “Are we friends?”

“No, we haven’t been for months,” your friend said, “goodbye.” And with that was the last time you saw that group. They left you in shock in the middle of the road.

Your mental health disoriented slightly, and you felt super self-conscious as you replayed past memories in your head. Those memories showed small signs here and there that indicated that they weren’t ever your friends.

You came home to your parents in tears and explained it all to them. You wanted to stay home the entire week, but they convinced you to go out at least once.

It was almost surreal of how quickly your luck switched, as next thing you knew, you met Peter.

Very early in your newfound friendship, you made it very clear how you felt about secrets, and to your surprise, he agreed wholly.

Suddenly life seemed perfect. Peter introduced you to his friends, Ned and MJ, and bit by bit they become your friends also. To add the cherry on the cake, your parents were so happy with your sudden switch in mood that they let you transfer to Midtown High so you could attend with Peter and friends.

It really was perfect. Almost too perfect, and you had a constant sense of deja vu anytime you were with Peter. You pushed it over to the side, however, as you were so desperate to finally be happy. Your connection with Peter was so unique, you two became so close so quickly, it was only natural that you developed a crush on him.

By now, you had decided to live for you, to live to be happy. And in this case, being happy meant confessing your crush to Peter, no matter the outcome, cause no secrets right?

The plan was simple, get ice cream at Peter and your’s favorite place and while walking home, confess.

That day came, and you were so nervous, hoping that everything would go to plan. And for the most part, it did.

You two had just gotten ice cream, and luckily there wasn’t much of line, which was really unusual for that shop.

And there you were all of a sudden, walking right next to Peter. You counted the number of steps until you reached your lucky number, because on that step you were going to confess.

But then the scream happened.

It was this foggy scream that seemed to be coming from everywhere at once, the building shook, and people all around you ran.

It hurt your head especially as the scream seemed to be coming from next to your ear, but at the same time from the other side of the city. You both were worried about your safety, and followed suit of everyone else and ran to Peter’s house for shelter.

But at least your life was perfect as you still ended up confessing your crush to Peter when you arrived at your house. You were genuinely nervous and had butterflies in your stomach. Those only intensified in nervousness when he smiled at you.

It was a genuine, happy smile, for it turns out his feelings were mutual, and as he admitted that, you couldn’t help but notice that something was off.

But again, you chose to ignore it, as your best friend was now your boyfriend, life was perfect.

Now a month had gone by, and you had noticed a gradual change in Peter. Sure people change, but a small nagging part inside you couldn’t help but wonder if he was changing like your friends did, if he was changing to betray and hurt you.

You hated that your insecurity got so bad that you had to ask him, but you still did.

“What's up?” you said, waving your hand in front of his face to grab his attention.

“What do you mean?” Peter replied, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

“Peter.”

“Y/N” he teased back.

“Not funny,” you teased, pushing his side playfully before turning serious again, “you’ve been acting weird since we started dating.”

“No, I haven’t!” Peter said, and his whole mannerism seemed to scream SECRET! to you

“You know how I feel about secrets” you whispered, giving him a slight puppy eyes.

At that, Peter put his head down defeated, “I-“ he said, not even having the words.

“You don’t have to tell me if it’s good, just promise me it is” you tried comforting, hoping in your heart the secret was for a good surprise. But all you got was silence in return, confirming your initial thought, “It’s not is it?”

“Y/N im sorr” Peter started, before you cut him off.

“Forget it, just tell me, what is it?”

“You won’t want to hear this” Peter warned, giving up on denying the existence of the secret.

“But I have to hear it” you argued back, you need some resolution, so you could move on with your life and not have any regrets from this moment, from this relationship.

“No, you don’t.”

“YES I DO PETER, I CAN’T HANDLE BEING HURT WITHOUT KNOWING IT” you screamed back at him, unable to hold it in anymore.

Peter sighed, whispering to himself, "but now you are going to be hurt because you know.”

“Peter just tell me” you begged, putting your hand on his knee.

He brushed it off, asking “are you sure?”

“100%.”

Peter looked at you, as if searching your face and savoring the image of it before saying “wake up.”

“What?” you asked, unsure if you heard him.

“This isn’t real,” he said almost robotically, confusing you more.

“I’m sorry?”

“You’ve been dreaming since what happened with your friends, since you met me” Peter tried explaining again.

“How?” you asked, unsure of how this could be a dream, it all seemed so real, so perfect. But then again, dreams are perfect.

“You know the scream a month ago?” Peter reminded as you nodded in confirmation before he continued, “It was someone yelling near you, yelling your name.”

“It was just a vague sound,” you said, unsure how your name could even be heard in what was just a loud screech and rumble of the world.

“But it reminded me that this is just in your head.”

“But how did you know?” you asked, wondering if you were just stupid or oblivious.

“I’m part of you, part of your subconscious” Peter explained. You guess that made sense. After all, if you were in a dream, your subconscious would know, while you, your conscious might not necessarily know.

“Now wake up” Peter ordered. You looked in his face one more time, trying to memorize it so you could bring his face and the memories with you into the real world.

As he and the rest of your perfect life faded to oblivion, you whispered in the void “I wish you hadn’t told me.”

You closed your eyes, and when you opened them again, you were greeted with loud sounds and lights. The sounds and sights of a hospital to be exact. There was a constant beeping of your heart monitor, and at the sight of you waking, the room was filled with nurses and doctors.

The fatigue set in again, and you went back to sleep, a dreamless sleep. As you met with your parents and reunited, you learned the hard truth. When you were with your friends, you were so shocked at finding out their true feelings about you, that you had froze in the middle of the road, hit by a car.

When your parents finally left so you could digest everything, you were left staring out the window, hoping in your heart if Peter could be out there.

Taglist: @djjffkd, @pallored, @your-daily-dose-of-fangirl, @penisprkr, @tuttigunner, @doihavetobesocialrightnow, @supernatural-strangerthings-1980, @lovelyh0lland, @sprinklemetommy, @marvelsmagics, @yoinksholland, @emocultistrat, @moonkissedtom, @hello-love06, @embrace-themagic, @fireboltrose7559, @ourdeliciousfoxcollector, @avenged-nightmare, @adventures-of-sabrina, @christmas-marvel, @tom-hollands-eyelash, @fallinallintom, @peppermintandparker, @zenithzendaya, @celestialparker, @oh-dear-tommy, @paradoxparker, @futzingclint, @tony-starks-ego, @tommy-braccoli, @blackberryfaith*, @laurfangirl424, @rrainydayy, @galaxy-parker, @mischiefmanaged49, @spideypeach, @scottyisthatyou, @peterspanish, @fufaation15*, @theprincesofasgard, @nasa-parker, @v0idbella @fuckwaad, @helloiknowimcrazy, @buresque, @book-of-blue004m* @bringer-of-chaos, @what-is-yeet, @lubrielx, @ticklishrainbow*, @ukulele-tea-and-ocean, @adorablyparker, @onlyfangirlsunderstand, @irnbby, @natashasnight, @fangirlwithasweettooth, @fandom-fangirl07, @dreamerjewels

*unable to tag

[blackaquokat]

43 and acting attorney? Cause that sounds like something Actor would say XD

It does, doesn’t it? I had one fluffy draft of this, but it didn’t turn out how I wanted, so here’s a load of angst instead.

43. “Youhave no idea how much I want you right now.”

Oo00oO

Mark looks up from his drink to see his dearest attorneyfriend slide into the booth seat across from him.

“I had a feeling you’d be here,” they say by way ofgreeting.

“You know me too well.” Mark swallows the last of his drinkbefore they can take the glass from him.

Freddy’s Pub has always been a favorite spot for their small group of friends. Now it has become a haven of tequila shots for Mark to forget that he’s been sleeping in a cold bed for months.

They roll their eyes. “I’m here to take you home.”

“What if I don’t want to leave yet?” he challenges.

“I have no problem with dragging you out by your ear,asshole. I’m giving you the option to walk out with some dignity.”

Mark sighs. He touches his cold wedding ring out of purehabit.

Why is he still wearing it again?

He moves to his feet, stumbling only a little, and beginswalking towards the entrance. The attorney moves beside him, one hand on hiselbow.

They don’t move him out of the way of another patron fast enoughand Mark bumps into the guy hard enough for a drink to spill.

“Will you watch where you’re going, bastard?”

“It was an accident,” the attorney says, stepping forwardwith crossed arms. “No need for that kind of behavior.”

“Why don’t you stay out of my business, you stupid—”

Mark should have walked away, but he’s feeling empty and hopelessand damn it, anyone who speaks like that to his attorney deserves whatever theyget.

He only gets one punch in before the guy’s buddy knocks Markonto his back, chin throbbing in pain.

Through blurry vision, he sees his attorney block several hitsbefore beating both men away. He hears the bartender threaten to call the cops ifthe fight doesn’t stop.

Then the attorney kneels beside him, knuckles split andbruised, a small cut on their cheek, their curls in disarray, old eyes brightwith adrenaline.

Have they always looked this breathtaking?

(The answer is yes, and that he’s always known this. He just tried not to indulge those observations when he had Celine waiting at home.)

“You alright?” they ask him.

He giggles like an idiot at the question. They look to be inworse shape than him and he is so verydrunk. “You have no idea how much I want you right now,” he slurs.

It’s a testament to his alcohol-addled mind that he doesn’teven think to be horrified by the concession, by the realization that after allthese years, he still wants to trace the lines of their face, run his fingers throughtheir hair and just…

He thought that marrying Celine would drive away thesefeelings for the attorney, but maybe they have always been there.

Well shit, what does that say about him now that Celine isgone?

He’s so caught up at the tragic amusement of it all that hedoesn’t see the flicker of pain in the attorney’s face.

They shake their head. “You’re a moron,” they comment asthey drag him to his feet.

Mark doesn’t speak again until he realizes they brought himto their house, not his.

“Why are we here?”

“So I can keep an eye on you. Clearly none of your employeesare keeping you from dying of alcohol poisoning.”

Mark doesn’t dignify that with any kind of clarification.

(Benjamin would probably try to help more if Mark didn’tkeep locking himself in his room.)

The next morning, Mark wakes up on the attorney’s couchfeeling like a half-eatencorpse. There’s a glass of water and some pills on thecoffee table in front of him, along with a note. It says they went to buygroceries.

He lingers on the couch until they return home an hour and ahalf later because he has nowhere else he wants to go, nothing else he wants todo. He can’t even muster up the energy to make breakfast for himself or for the friend who took care of his sorry ass int he first place.

And he has a vague recollection of flirting with theattorney last night. He should probably apologize for that.

They come through the front door with grocery bags on eacharm. “Good, you’re awake. Help me put this stuff away.”

Mark stares up at them and, before he loses his nerve, “Look,I think I said some things last night, and…”

Shit, this is harder than he thought.

They stand in place a moment longer, and he thinks he sees ahint of regret line their face.

“You were drunk.”

They walk to the kitchen without another word, and it occursto Mark too late to follow after and help with the groceries.

Neither of them bring it up again.

But sometimes Mark wants too.

But he wants lots of things he can’t have.

Oo00oO

@starcrossedforever87 , @dontworryaboutanything , @beereblogsstuff , @silver-owl413 , @sassy-in-glasses , @chelseareferenced , @sketchy-scribs-n-doods , @axolittle-boi , @falseroar , @intemperantiae , @ren-mon , @memetoyoko , @soul-wolf , @marki-dumb , @withjust-a-bite , @raimeyl , @im-also-dead-inside , @timelords13 , @ur-fairy-god-dragon , @conceitedink , @unknown-maned-wolf , @ohnoimshook , @mayazen , @skyewardlight , @gabs-ink , @purple-anxiety-blog

[incorrectchoniberonicaswangs]

hey baby won't you look my way (you can be my new addiction)

Chapter 6: because i also want to be rawed by alice cooper in that dress

Chapter Summary: Nobody has a normal sleep schedule, Jughead helps Betty with her totally-not-real issue, the Lodges and Coopers are really gay, and Archie has some scary (but still important to the plot) tendencies.

Notes: mayorlodge: hermione acoop: alice Also, just for clarification, both Hal and Hiram are out of the picture (mostly because it's convenient to the story but whatever). This is a long-ass chapter, so... have fun?

ao3

Wednesday, 12:00 AM

gays united

wannabett: IM BACK!!!

wannabett: as in i finally got my phone back!! im alive again!

nopeaz: you got your phone back at exactly midnight??

wannabett: yep!

hbicheryl: i dont understand you coopers

veroffica: cheryl, you're technically a cooper yourself.

veroffica: and even if you weren't, the blossoms are even worse.

hbicheryl: ugh

hbicheryl: technicalities

spillthefogarTEA: do any of you... actually go to sleep at a reasonable time??

wannabett: no

nopeaz: nah

hbicheryl: nope

veroffica: ha, no.

jugheadalones: definitely not

hisshissmotherfucker: no

goingtoheller: not a chance.

spillthefogarTEA: yeah, me neither

spillthefogarTEA: just checking

hisshissmotherfucker: normal sleep schedules are for the weak

hisshissmotherfucker: natural selection only the dumbasses die

hisshissmotherfucker: im the dumbass

nopeaz: same

jugheadalones: rt

hbicheryl: ^^^^

wannabett: ^^^

wannabett: so

wannabett: yall wanna talk??

hisshissmotherfucker: about how i just realized that fangs and bettys ship name would either be bangs or fetty?? absolutely

goingtoheller: bangs?? can we seriously talk about this?

nopeaz: when you said fetty all i could think of was fetty wap

hbicheryl: no we are NOT doing this now come back to bed and go to sleep RIGHT NOW topaz

nopeaz: as you wish, dear

[nopeaz is offline]

[hbicheryl is offline]

jugheadalones: well i need to get my beauty sleep so i can look my emo self tomorrow, so goodnight

[jugheadalones is offline]

spillthefogarTEA: okay i have to admit that we all should get some sleep, but @sweets we are circling back to bangs and fetty later

goingtoheller: ^^

hisshissmotherfucker: i cant help that all my best realizations come when im delirious from lack of sleep but if you say so fangs

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

[spillthefogarTEA is offline]

wannabett: nobody wants to stay up and talk? :(

goingtoheller: i might.

veroffica: i will too.

goingtoheller: nevermind, i'm going to sleep! have fun! ;)

[goingtoheller is offline]

wannabett: i guess its just us

veroffica: want to move this convo to a more private setting, then?

wannabett: sure thing

12:13 AM

wannabett + veroffica

wannabett: hey v

veroffica: hey, b.

veroffica: congrats on finally getting your phone back, btw!

wannabett: i missed you

wannabett: i mean i know that i was only absent for one day and i still managed to call you once

wannabett: but it felt longer than that. more significant

veroffica: i know what you mean. school was hellish (at best) without you there, especially with cheryl being, well, cheryl. i know that she's not half as bad as she used to be, and that toni's helping her to be a kinder person, but sometimes she just doesn't know when to back off.

wannabett: about that, did i ever thank you for standing up for me so vehemently? because i appreciate it

wannabett: you didnt have to but you did anyway

wannabett: and thats what i... uh,, really like about you!!

wannabett: hold on a sec i have to go my moms calling me!

veroffica: at 12:18 am?

veroffica: aaaand you're already gone.

12:18 AM

wannabett + jugheadalones

wannabett: hey jughead quick question

jugheadalones: i did mention earlier that i was going to go to sleep right??

wannabett: please this is really important

jugheadalones: fine, go for it

wannabett: okay hypothetical situation here

wannabett: say this one girl (lets call her lili) has this best friend (lets call her cami) but at one point lili almost says "and thats what i love about you" to cami

wannabett: what does that mean?? is it just a normal platonic friend thing??

jugheadalones: so, this is all strictly theoretical, correct?

wannabett: yes obviously any and all resemblance to real people is purely coincidental haha

jugheadalones: then id say that lili might actually have more-than-platonic feelings for cami

wannabett: do you really think so??

jugheadalones: yep

wannabett: so in this purely made-up circumstance... what should lili do?

jugheadalones: i think that lili should seriously consider telling cami about her feelings for her

jugheadalones: she just might be surprised by what cami says back

wannabett: okay thank you jug

wannabett: for your help on this definitely fake thing that clearly did not occur with undoubtedly nonexistent characters

jugheadalones: sure thing betty

jugheadalones: just next time dont wake me up at midnight

[jugheadalones is offline]

12:23 AM

wannabett + veroffica

wannabett: hey im back

veroffica: finally! it took you long enough!

veroffica: what did your mom want?

wannabett: huh?

wannabett: oh yeah she wanted me to... wash some dishes

veroffica: at 12:18 in the morning??

wannabett: yep its all part of my punishment for getting detention

veroffica: i thought your punishment was just being grounded for one day?

wannabett: well theres also a list of chores that i have to do for her that she can cash in at any point

veroffica: no offence betty, but is your mom satan?? that sounds awful!

wannabett: none taken, she indubitably is

wannabett: and im used to it by now

veroffica: still... i wish i could do something to help.

wannabett: let me move in with you

veroffica: what??

wannabett: thats what you can do to help! i could move into the pembrooke with you if your mom says its okay!

veroffica: i don't know, b... don't you think it's kind of a big step? and what about your mom?

wannabett: what about her? polly didnt ask mom when she moved in with you

wannabett: i understand if you dont want to, but just think about it for a second

wannabett: it would be like having a sleepover every night!

veroffica: i'm still not sure...

wannabett: plus ive been wanting to get closer to you and this could be just what i needed

veroffica: well, i'm on board! i just have to text my mom, she's on a business trip.

12:29 AM

veroffica + mayorlodge

veroffica: hey mom, can betty come live with us?

mayorlodge: does this have any particular reason, or did betty just finally realize that her mother is a bitch?

veroffica: mom!!

mayorlodge: what? i went to school with alice, and she wasn't half as bad then as she is now. i blame hal.

mayorlodge: in fact, she used to be a southside serpent!

veroffica: i know, mom. betty told me.

mayorlodge: leather jackets, flannel... she was gorgeous.

veroffica: if you weren't my mom, i would say 'go for it,' but since you are, i'm going to say 'gross' instead.

mayorlodge: don't give me that. you know as well as i do how easy it is to fall for the cooper women.

veroffica: what are you implying?

mayorlodge: mija, I want you to answer me honestly: do you or do you not have feelings for betty?

veroffica: i... i don't know.

mayorlodge: think about it. and in the meantime, betty can stay over.

veroffica: thanks, mom!

mayorlodge: on one condition, though--alice approves. i don't want to be getting calls from the police because she thinks i'm illegally harboring one of her children.

veroffica: but betty's mom would never agree to this!

mayorlodge: then convince her otherwise.

mayorlodge: goodnight, mija.

[mayorlodge is offline]

12:35 AM

veroffica + wannabett

veroffica: she's in!

wannabett: yes!!!

veroffica: there's one thing, though...

wannabett: oh no

veroffica: your mom has to give her consent.

wannabett: shit

wannabett: stupid minor laws!

wannabett: i guess ill go ask her

wannabett: but im going to do it over text i dont want to be near her when she flies into a rage

veroffica: good luck! please don't die, i'll miss you too much!

wannabett: ill try v

12:38 AM

wannabett + acoop

wannabett: hey mom

acoop: Betty? You do realize that we live in the same house, right?

acoop: Also, what do you want and why are you texting me at this hour?

wannabett: ummmm

wannabett: can i go stay with veronica?

acoop: The Lodge girl?? At the Pembrooke??

wannabett: yes

acoop: For how long?

wannabett: indefinitely

acoop: I'm going to talk to Hermione and then I'll get back to you on this.

wannabett: wow that sounded a lot less like a no than i expected

acoop: Don't push it, Elizabeth.

wannabett: what i meant to say was thank you mother for this incredible opportunity!!

acoop: I haven't agreed yet, Betty.

wannabett: i meant thank you for considering this. it means a lot to me.

acoop: ...Of course.

acoop: Now, you should get some sleep while I consider this further. I'll get back to you later.

12:41 AM

acoop + mayorlodge

acoop: Is this Hermione?

mayorlodge: yes... alice?

acoop: You still have the same phone number from back when we were in high school.

mayorlodge: alice, it's the middle of the night. why are you texting me?

acoop: I have reason to believe that our daughters are going down the same path we once did.

mayorlodge: so you see it too?

acoop: Yes. The two of them are as close as we were back in high school, and we both know where that led.

mayorlodge: i don't want veronica to get her heart broken like i did, but it isn't like we can stop them.

acoop: I'm not talking about this with you right now.

mayorlodge: then when?? ever since we broke up, you've been saying you 'don't want to talk about it,' but it's been DECADES, alice.

mayorlodge: and i thought that i was okay with having no resolution and no explanation, but then at the sodale project opening i saw you in that goddamn red dress, and it all came back to me.

acoop: I'll admit that I regret giving into my parents' wishes and breaking up with you, but it wasn't like there were any other options.

mayorlodge: there are always other options.

acoop: So you're saying that you would've agreed to run away from Riverdale with me, riding around from town to town on my motorcycle?

mayorlodge: ...i would've liked that.

acoop: ... Really?

acoop: It doesn't matter anymore, though. What matters is now. We may not be able to stop Betty and Veronica from falling in love, but we can make sure that we don't end up pushing them apart like our parents did.

mayorlodge: exactly.

acoop: Which is why I want to give Betty my blessing to move in with Veronica.

mayorlodge: you do??

acoop: Why does everyone seem so surprised by this?? I do have a heart!

mayorlodge: trust me, i know.

acoop: Actually, on that note, I was wondering...

mayorlodge: yes?

acoop: When you get back in town, would you like to get a milkshake at Pop's with me, for old time's sake?

mayorlodge: alice cooper, are you asking me on a date?

acoop: Yes I am, Hermione Lodge.

mayorlodge: well, all you had to do was say so.

mayorlodge: i get back on friday. i'll see you then and we can figure out if we still have that same explosive chemistry we used to.

acoop: It's a deal. And if the date just happens to make it back to my house... Well, we'll have it all to ourselves.

mayorlodge: i like the way you think. goodnight, alice.

acoop: Goodnight, Hermione.

[mayorlodge is offline]

1:02 AM

acoop + wannabett

acoop: You can stay with Veronica for as long as you want.

wannabett: really?? thank you so much!!

acoop: Just make sure that you've cleared out by Friday night.

wannabett: why, do you have a hot date?

acoop: The hottest.

wannabett: i was kidding mom!!

acoop: Well, I wasn't.

wannabett: ugh tmi

acoop: Have fun at Veronica's!

[acoop is offline]

1:04 AM

wannabett + veroffica

wannabett: my mom is cool with it!!

veroffica: are my eyes deceiving me, or did alice cooper actually allow her underage daughter to move out??

wannabett: its insane isnt it? she said that she has a date on friday so that might be why shes so mellow

veroffica: hmm, do you think that it's one of the hot dads of riverdale™ or some new contender??

veroffica: maybe... one of the hot moms of riverdale™ (lesser known but just as hot)?

wannabett: whoever it is they seem to make her happy so i approve

wannabett: also i really hope that they dont break up and return my mom to her former angry state

wannabett: so lets take advantage of this while we still can!

veroffica: i can have smithers drive us over to your house tomorrow after school and then we can pack up your stuff! sound good?

wannabett: sounds great. i can't wait, see you tomorrow v!

veroffica: ditto, b.

[veroffica is offline]

[wannabett is offline]

2:28 AM

beronica shippers

spillthefogarTEA: guys i was just talking to archie and he told me that he has some hot tea to spill about our favorite oblivious wlw!! can i temporarily add him to the chat?

hisshissmotherfucker: why were you talking to andrews hes an asshole

hbicheryl: archie isnt an asshole hes a dumbass

hbicheryl: youre just jealous sweet pea

hisshissmotherfucker: why would i be jealous of ginger troy bolton??

hbicheryl: uh because youre jealous of anyone else who spends time with fangs??

nopeaz: ooh yes expose him baby

spillthefogarTEA: as much as i appreciate sweet pea not wanting me to talk to archie and choni trying to find ulterior motives in everything he says, i still need an answer to my question! can i add him or not?

hbicheryl: im all for learning whatever "heterosexual" nonsense b&v have gotten into this time

nopeaz: ^^

spillthefogarTEA: sweets?

hisshissmotherfucker: hes a fucking NORTHSIDER

spillthefogarTEA: please? for me?

hisshissmotherfucker: ...fine.

spillthefogarTEA: great! im also going to add jughead and kevin while im at it because they are both also beronica shippers in their own right

spillthefogarTEA has added jugheadalones, goingtoheller, and arch to the chat

spillthefogarTEA: for those of you who dont know--jughead and kevin--archie has some fresh beronica gossip, you in for listening?

goingtoheller: hell yes, lay it on us.

jugheadalones: i supoose since im already awake and probably too invested in their relationship

jugheadalones: but the next time these two do something interesting, it better be at a time when im NOT TRYING TO SLEEP

hbicheryl: lmao doubtful but sure

spillthefogarTEA: archie, please begin your tale

arch: so i was sitting in my room lifting weights when i saw, with my super-good eyesight, betty texting veronica

arch: and through my undoubtedly-impossible-and-kinda-creepy observance, i noticed that betty is pulling a polly!!

goingtoheller: she's pregnant with one of the blossom twins' (by now, it's just cheryl though lmao) twin children??

arch: no...

jugheadalones: shes been sent to the sisters of quiet mercy?

arch: no

hbicheryl: shes given birth to my children and has given them horrendous names like juniper and dagwood??

arch: no!! this is too hard to guess, so ill just tell you. she wants to move in with veronica at the pembrooke!

nopeaz: what did she say?? "hey, i want to live with you, but like, platonically"??

arch: um essentially

arch: but then i observed something that is both MUCH more shocking and a significant development!!

arch: mrs cooper and mayor lodge used to be dating, mayor lodge is gay for mrs cooper in that red dress that she wore to the sodale opening, and theyre going to a date on friday!!

arch: the end! have fun gays, gotta go!

arch has left the chat

goingtoheller: well, that is... a lot to process.

hbicheryl: i relate to hermione lodge

hbicheryl: because i also want to be rawed by alice cooper in that dress

nopeaz: id feel threatened if i didnt also know that alice cooper is also essentially your great cousin in law

hbicheryl: oh darling dont you know that incest runs in the family?

hbicheryl: jason and polly, my mother and my father... and thats just the tip of the iceberg

nopeaz: im concerned again

hisshissmotherfucker: so to summarize the lodges and coopers are gay for each other and archie has freaky good eyesight that is not humanly possible but is necessary to the story because it helps add important info to the plot??

goingtoheller: when you say it like, it sounds like we're characters in a book.

hisshissmotherfucker: honestly i always thought of myself as more of a character in a fanfiction for a bad cw show

2:38 AM

jugheadalones + wannabett

jugheadalones: ive just been informed by archie that you are planning to move in with veronica

wannabett: what the hell?? how did archie know that??

jugheadalones: he said he saw your texts from his room

wannabett: damn his terrifying and freakishly good eyesight

jugheadalones: so... this wouldnt happen to have anything to do with lili and camis mythical dilemma, would it?

wannabett: nahhh of course not

jugheadalones: well, if you ever do need to talk, im here for you, okay? i may not be good at giving relationship advice, but ive been told that im a good shoulder to cry on.

wannabett: whenever i need help ill make sure to talk to you first, but im really okay now. thanks jug.

jugheadalones: ofc

[jugheadalones is offline]

[wannabett is offline]

Notes: Alice and Hermione have too much sexual tension to have not dated in high school, and the flashback episode pretty much only proves it. I mean, did you see Alice when she was younger?? That whole look screams lesbian! Anyways...

Comments validate me!! You can leave 'em here or at my ao3 account, lgbtqshipper, where pretty much all I do is complain about Riverdale and how I wish that it was gayer (so nothing different).

In the next chapter, Betty will finally be forced to answer for her sins oblivious homosexuality ft. Choni sexts (again, but I swear, this is the last time)!!

[last-flight-of-fancy]

fatedeniedhope replied to your post “* sees people confused over various kh plot points * * is not people i...”

I would like yo know a bit. Only play kh 1 and chain of memories and half way to kh 2

oh boy there is a *lot* to cover here then!

I don’t mean that to sound intimidating, kh just has a tendency for long, sprawling interconnected plots (many of which are still unresolved even now)

i am also doing this entirely by memory, so if i’ve skimmed something i shouldn’t have its because my brain has stopped registering it as important; feel free to ask for clarification, i wrote this in one sitting because i was avoiding doing laundry XD

putting a cut because i am overviewing a Lot of game here and tbh there’s still a lot of stuff i am skimming or skipping entirely. I’m just trying to hit the highlights.

i don’t know where you stopped in 2, so i’m just gonna give a brief overview

-there is a boy named roxas

-he’s being hunted by these strangers called nobody’s

-things get weird

-turns out he’s sora’s nobody, as nobody’s are created when a person is turned into a heartless (which sora did during kh1)

-roxas returns to sora (”looks like my summer vacation is.. over...” whoops there goes my heart) and normal sora gameplay resumes.

-DIDNEY WORLDS

-turns out everyone forgot sora for a year bc of what happened in chain of memories (and also 358/2. dont worry about that yet we’ll get there). kairi sends out a bottle to “the boy she can’t remember” trying to call him home. (yes this is important)

-organization 13 (all what? eight of them left?) pops up, xemnas is cryptic, and they say their goal is to recreate kingdom hearts via sora killing heartless, since apparently only killing heartless with a keyblade sends the trapped hearts to Kingdom Hearts

      -this version of the tale persists through 358 as well. it’s.. half right.

-bla bla bla, shenanigans. there’s ansem (the boss from kh1) and a guy named diz. That isn’t who either of them actually are. It’s actually Riku (who tapped too far into the darkness trying to capture roxas for the whole twilight town scenario at the beginning of the game, thus altering his appearance to look like the guy who posessed him for a bit) and THE ACTUAL ANSEM (ie, the ruler(?) of radient garden before it fell, and the guy heartless ansem stole his name from.

-anyways

-sora goes off searching for riku, bc as far as he knows, he’s still lost out in the darkness.

-he’s not, he’s fine, but he’s super embarrassed about the whole ‘looking like the enemy’ thing and won’t let sora find him.

-sora casually murders most of the remaining organization members (only most of whom shot first)

-this continues on until axel attempts to kidnap kairi, who ends up in twilight town for a bit hanging out with the hayner/pence/ollete trio, before being slightly more successfully kidnapped a second time.

-and then she gets kidnapped again by saix. Axel apologises to sora over this. in his defence, he’s pretty desperate at this point (he just wants his friend(s) back)

-sora storms The World That Never Was, kairi is rescued by Namine.

-the trio finally meets up (namine disapeared at some point? yknow, i actually dont recall what happened to her in between these scenes), sora and kairi share a slightly awkward but sweet hug, and after a moments trepidation over ‘Ansem’, kairi tells/shows him its riku, at which point sora bursts into tears.

-i ship a lot of ot3′s, but sorikai is the OG ot3

-anyways

-namine and roxas have a very symbolic moment refusing with their Other’s, Namine opens a portal back to destiny islands so they can go home.

-everyone except sora and riku make it through, and thus commences several final fantasy style boss fights

-they win, of course, riku’s injured in the line of battle, and they limp out, having traversed several realms during the course of this battle, they’re now trapped on a beach in the realm of darkness. it’s the same beach everyone else seems to end up on in this place. There is only one beach in the RoD apparently

-they stay there a while, and then they pick up a message in a bottle; it’s from kairi, “to the boy she can’t remember”

-Feelings make a door to the light open, and sora and riku fall like actual comets from the sky and everybody’s reunited and happy. huzzah!

-.... well for a while anyways.

-should i get into the whole xemnas/xehanort/ansem thing here?

-eh

-okay so

-lets swing back into Birth By Sleep for a bit

-(im sorry if kh can’t hit any of its plot points in order i think its fair neither do i)

-BBS takes place roughly nine years prior to kh1, with the exception of bbs’s prologue, which i would estimate as being an additional four years prior to that

-during said prologue, we meet Master Xehanort, an incredibly old dude with brown skin, gold eyes, and a white beard. even newcomers to the series will probably recognise that only one type of person gets those colours in these games.

-we also meet baby Ventus, Xehanorts apprentice. He looks exactly like Roxas.

-shenanigans happen, Xehanort splits Ven’s heart in two, creating Vanitas, who is Ventus’s darkness.

-Vanitas’ whole shtick is he wants to be reunited with Ventus, ostensibly to create the X-blade (yes it’s pronounced exactly the same as ‘keyblade’ and yes, every single kh fan ive ever talked to has found this annoying af)

-unfortunately being split in two like that puts ven in a coma, and xehanort takes the unresponiseve body to destiny islands to dump it like unwanted ravioli

-luckily for ven, “a brand new hear” hears his hurt and reaches out to help, filling out the gaps left in his and allowing him to start recovering

-the heart is sora

-actual, literal baby sora reaching out to help people before he can even walk yet. 

-the game never spells this out explicitly, which makes it an easy plot point to miss if you aren’t paying attention

-ven doesn’t recover immidietly though, and xehanort sends him to live with his old friend Master Eraqus and his two teenage apprentices, Aqua and Terra

-here’s where we time skip, ventus is fully recovered, terra and aqua are young adults and about to take their Mark Of Mastery exams for becoming keyblade masters.

-Terra fails because he has darkness in his heart and also xehanort rigged it against him

-aqua passes and becomes a master. I love her very much.

-terra journey’s out to try and figure out where the darkness comes from

-vanitas taunts ven saying terra’s leaving him bc ven’s stupid or something and ven panics and chases after him (he’s like 14 and has a bit of a hero worship thing, stupid decisions are par for the course)

-eraqus sends aqua out to both spy on terra (he words it nicer but thats the gist of it), which aqua doesn’t particularly like but trusts her masters judgement and does it, and bring ventus home, which she is more on board with

-the biggest tragedy in bbs is that no one talks to each other

-stuff happens, they learn some stuff, aqua’s route has So Many Lesbian Feels with every single princess she runs into it brings me great delight

-Ventus learns the whole ‘fight your darkness to become the X-blade’ plot, eraqus learns this too and tries to kill ven. Terra busts in at the last moment and saves ven, at this point using his dark powers fully.

-#terrawasright

-eraqus dies, which i don’t think terra fully intended to do (he just wanted to save ven) and if you recall the scene in kh1 where kairi catches a falling sora only for him to burst into a bunch of floating glitter? imagine that but with two grown men

-aqua’s just trying to figure out whats going on. she gets to meet kairi (saves her from some heartless and then puts a charm on her necklace to keep her safe) and then meets Mickey, who will be our future duex ex machina

-they all meet for the final battle.

-ven asks his friends to murder him

-no one does that

-what the fuck ven

-they fight, and a lot of stuff sorta happens at the same time

-1: terra fights xehanort, who has essentially been spending the whole game prepping terra to be his next host. xehanort is a body snatcher confirmed. xehanort wins, terra becomes the fanon-named terranort.

-2: ventus fights vanitas. vanitas reveals his face, and he looks exactly like a colour swapped version of sora. (also voiced by the same voice actor! it’s actually surprsingly difficult to notice this if you don’t have some kind of clue already because haley joel osment does and *amazing* job). ventus wins, the X-blade is not forged, but as a lot of this battle takes place in his heart, the effects are bad and ven falls into a coma (he reaches out once more, and another hearts answers. “you can stay here a while, I don’t mind” says the other heart. yes its fucking sora again. too good, too pure)

-3: aqua gets knocked out to start with, but then she fights vanitas controlling ventus’ body, which eventually gets sorted out. terra’s dissapeared at this point, and she takes a comatose ven and hides him in the land of departure, which she uses a secret mechanism to turn into Castle Oblivion (and thus, impossible to navigate  without her key)

-aqua goes to hunt down terra(nort), and finds him in radiant garden. they fight, aqua wins, but when he begins to sink into the darkness she sacrifices herself to save him (which is how he ends up as one of ansem’s apprentices and mostly without any memories)

-aqua will spend the next ten years in the realm of darkness

-bbs is such a goddam tragedy

-OKAY

-time to fast forward

-so sora and ven are connected, which is why vanitas and roxas look the way they do, which brings us to

-the case of xion

-and 358/2

-the worst game to play but my absolute favourite in terms of slow-burn pacing and emotionally investing you in the characters

-this game pretty much just deals with the year sora spent asleep, and the kids time in the organization.

-roxas wakes up with no memories, is inducted into the org, and told “kill heartless with your keyblade”. He’s more or less a zombie at first, and accepts this without question.

-a week later, a new member is introduced, named Xion, who also has a keyblade, and is also a zombie with no memories at first

-Axel, the org’s assassin, is basically told to babysit them both

-he’s not really into it at first, but those natural Big Brother instincts kick in Hard about five minutes later and from that point on he’s mostly just trying to keep them both alive.

-oh, also Lea, Axel’s somebody, met Ventus in bbs, so that was probably a little weird for him.

-as the game goes on and these kids essentially learn how to human and try to figure out what makes them different, the Big Plots stew in the background. Axel and Saix have some kind of plan that Axel apparently isn’t sticking to, and Axel questions his loyalties more as the game goes on and circumstances force him to choose between two kids Who Did Nothing Wrong, and his oldest friend.

-Xion learns they are a replica, a la Repliku, created as a backup to roxas if he could not fulfil his duty in creating kingdom hearts. their connection with roxas, and through him sora, has the unintended side effect of flitering memories and feelings into and through Xion.

-this is why putting sora back together takes so long

-Xion, between the pressure of being an org member in general, and the mental load from being caught between three+ people in a very literal sense, has a breakdown. Riku finds them, and despite a pretty rocky start between them, helps them through it.

-Xion leaves at two different points, the first time, Axel brings them back. “please don’t hold back, Axel. Promise.” “Everyone always thinks they’re right”

-excuse me i have to lay down again after thinking about how emotionally wrought this scene is.

-(the alternative is he has to kill them. he does everything he can to avoid that, but it’s clearly approaching an unsustainable situation; the org is running out of patience for dealing with the ‘clearly defective replica’, xion doesnt feel this situation is right, and axel just wants to keep everyone alive.

-yes typing ‘clearly defective replica’ physically hurt me. xion is a perfect bab and xemnas can fite me

-Xion leaves again

-Roxas, learning pieces of this but not all, runs away from the org. cue titular “no one would me” “that’s not true!” scene from 2

-(this leads to what is a hilariously depressing scene of roxas on the clocktower looking at his life and going “where could i even run to? I havent got anywhere to go” because he’s never known anything other than the organization and whoops i made myself sad again)

-namine explains to xion that sora can never wake up so long as they have his memories. The only way for them to release the memories is to die. It’s a hard decision.

-Xion meets roxas on the clocktower, feigns insanity, and goads him into fighting them (”do you see my face, roxas? is it a boys face? don’t you see. I have to make you a part of me too.”)

-cue more ff style boss fights

-xion dies

-look i can’t go into detail on this one i’ll start crying again, xion dies, everyone forgets they ever existed, and roxas gets to watch them shatter into dust in his arms.

-in the brief period where the memories are quickly vanishing but Not Quite Gone Yet roxas goes into a Roaring Rampage of Revenge and storms the World That Never Was

-this is where Riku catches up to him, and from there its a pretty straight shot into the beginning of kh2

-which im sure if you played these in chronological order would be *some kind of mood whiplash* i bet

-okay what have i missed

-recoded happened. the only important part here is that malificent and pete find out about the black box and malificent being malificent of course she Has To Have It

-”but whats the black box??” you ask

-good question

-we still dont know

-its  origin point is in KHUx though, 

-which is the multiplayer mobile game set during the Keyblade War of ages past. each weilder also has a companion dream eater named chirithy

-there are five unions, each headed by a leader and represented by an animal (unicorn, bear, snake, fox, and leopard)

-#anguisforlife

-these five (plus one more, named luxu) are each given roles by their master (the Master of Masters, or also known as MoM). He also tells them there is a traitor amongst the warriors of light. it’s unclear at this point how much of this he is directly steering. He also doesnt specifiy Which warriors of light, probably on purpose so everything happens as it should.

-so figure, trying to figure out who the traitor is is a pretty direct cause to no one trusting each other and eventually going for each others throats

-there is a page from the book of prophecies he gives only to luxu, who he tells that his role is to see the future with this Special Keyblade (and specifically the Eye in it). You might recognise it as xehanorts keyblade (and then you’ll start to see the Eye in a whole bunch of other ones too, notably in soul edge, way to dawn, and void gear)

-luxu fucks off, and everyone else goes about their business

-the first half of khux details how these unions came to  be rivals, and then how they fell into war with each other and destroyed the light. the second half detailed how Ava, leader of the fox union, created a fifth group known as the dandelions, specifically picked to survive the fall of the light and rebuild.

-ventus and lauriam are two of these leaders. No, we still don’t know how they got from one point to the other.

-one of the replacement leaders, strelitzia, got murdered and replaced by someone else. i think this plot point has been resolved in japan but i havent checked yet

-strelitzia is lauriam’s sister. she also knows elrena.

-and if you’re bad at anagraming like i am, lauriam=marluxua, and elrena=larxene

-so yeah figure that one out for me

-also i love strelitzia she has like two scenes total and i was already ludicrously attached help

-(Yes i screamed very hard during that One Scene in 3. we dont even see her face but it’s heerrrrrrrr)

-anyways

-right the black box

-luxu is seen carrying it off in the Back Cover movie as he wanders into exile. we still dont know whats in it. and that’s basically that.

-which leaves just Dream Drop Distance

-sora and riku take a Highly Modified mark of master exam under yen sid.

-things go wrong almost immidietly

-sora gets trapped by the xehanorts in a deep sleep, where they plan to use him as one of their 13 vessels of darkness

-there has to be 13 for some reason

-13 darknesses, and 7 lights, and when they clash it’ll make the X-blade

-because reasons

-it’s fate or something

-riku rescues him

-there is time travel involved now

-because at this point the 13 darkness now include; heartless ansem, master xehanort, xemnas, young xehanort, xigbar, and saix.

-more time travel will be involved later, but to keep this in mind the rules of time travel here are

     -you cannot take your body with you

     -you lose any future knowledge you gain if and when you return

-things are obviously wibbly here because it’s half in the dreamscape, but just. keep those rules in mind when you play 3.

....... im sure im missing a bunch but i just spent two hours writing the most casual pre-kh3 synopsis ever i hope you can forgive me XD