#when I was a sophomore in hs a girl in my art class just called me tinkerbell

[carpisuns]

hi i’m the artist of that tink piece you reblogged. i saw your tags and just had to come say omg same except my tink collection is very much still going 🙈 so glad i reach another tink collector with my art! 😂✨✨✨✨✨

i actually haven’t collected tinkerbell stuff in many years but i was obsessed with her when I was a kid! i started collecting tinkerbell stuff when I was like 10 and then I got so much of it as gifts for like the next 6 or 7 years lol. I don’t have any of it now but I had a Ridiculous amount of tinkerbell stuff when I was a teen.

Anyway although I am no longer a think collector I appreciated the cute art and I’m glad you are having fun with it!! I can attest that there is a lot of cute tink stuff out there so I hope you find some good ones ✨

[dynamic-instability]

Hi, I just finished my freshman year in premed and my grades were horrible (like C average) and it was because I'm just not good at science in college like I was in hs... I'm so tired all the time and like I don't have chronic illness or anything and so I know it's not even like what you went through and maybe I'm stupid for complaining but I just don't know if I can keep doing this. I've wanted to be a doctor all my life, how do I give up on that dream??

(2/3) I just feel like I’m giving up and letting down everyone who expects things of me but when I think about things like having to get volunteer and shadowing hours I just feel like I’m panicing and it’s just this crushing weight and maybe I’m just not good enough but like how do I give up?? Doesn’t that make me weak?? My grades in other stuff like my history classes and even in calc were good but gen chem and gen bio fucking killed me I’ve always been a good student idk what to do now

(3/3) I’m sorry for sending this long thing that probably doesn’t even make sense and you dealt with so much shit with your sickness and stuff and you got really good grades obviously and I don’t even have anything like that, I’m just not good at school anymore?? I just know I need to make a change if I’m gonna do this premed thing and you’ve had to think about in the past what you’d do if you can’t be a doctor. I guess I just wanted your advice sorry this is so long lol I’m kinda freaking out

Oh my sweet bb anon. The first thing to do is to take a breath. The second thing to do is to stop comparing yourself to me or to anyone. Don’t start down that road of who has it harder and who is overcoming more, because that’s just not a productive line of thinking, okay? I’ve been there, I’ve done that to myself, it doesn’t lead anywhere good. Your struggles are your own struggles, and whatever you choose to do, it is valid. It does not make you weak.

There’s kind of a lot to unpack here so I’m just going to do my best.

I think the biggest question you have to ask here is whether you still genuinely want to be a doctor. So you’re struggling in your science classes, that’s okay, some C’s in freshman year don’t have to stop you. Just because your first year was hard, it doesn’t mean it won’t improve, and that’s true for a bunch of reasons. The material, for one thing: I didn’t like gen chem, but I loved orgo, and I know a lot of people for whom that’s been the case (it depends on how into quantitative thinking you are, I think). Also, intro-level bio classes can sometimes be the hardest because you have to learn a whole new vocabulary and way of thinking, but then once you have those skills it can get a lot easier. Also, regardless of your field of study, the first year of college is hard socially and academically, it’s a rough adjustment. I don’t know you, but maybe your mental health suffered from the stress and the transition, or maybe you just didn’t have the study skills yet because your high school coursework didn’t demand them. A couple bad grades does not mean you’re unable to do this.

What worries me more is that you said things like “I’m tired all the time” and “it feels like this crushing weight.” A look back through this blog will tell you I’ve had my share of feeling like this, and that not all of it can be attributed to chronic fatigue. But at least when it came to bio, I’ve always loved the material. Even when it was killing me, I love biology. I love biology and medicine so much that I do shit like writing a completely unnecessary 50-page lit review about cholera. I love a lot of other things, too, like music and history and linguistics, but nothing makes me happy like medicine makes me happy. If you love it and you’re struggling, you don’t need to give up, you just need to find better strategies for doing well. Find a tutor, work with classmates, find new study/organizational skills, retake some courses if you failed them. And there are going to be some courses in your prereqs that you just won’t like (see: me and physics) and that doesn’t have to stop you. The courses you take in undergrad are not necessarily reflective of everything to come. But if you hate science? Don’t put yourself through this. It isn’t worth it.

Here’s the thing. There is such a thing as a weed-out class, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Being “weeded out”, so to speak, doesn’t have to mean you’re not good enough, it can just mean that you’re figuring out what is and is not a good fit for you. My friend @carminapiranha went through this her freshman year, suffered through a year of pre-med where she struggled and was miserable before admitting it was not what she wanted. She has a degree in art history, and is about to go get a master’s degree. There was a girl I knew freshman year who was sure she was going to be a surgeon, but she got a D in gen bio 1 because the class didn’t make sense to her and made her miserable. She got an MBA and is making like hella money now. 

You can change your mind, that is a valid decision. It doesn’t have to mean you’re giving up, it doesn’t have to mean you’re weak, it can just mean you’re looking for something that’s a better fit for you. You said you did well in history classes, but did you also like them? What was your favorite class you’ve taken? I know there are some degrees that feel more “useless” than others, and it would be naive of me to claim that that doesn’t matter when college is so freakin expensive, but honestly? Very few people get jobs directly in the field of their degrees. People end up doing totally random jobs all the time. Maybe there’s something else that’s a better fit for you. If there is, you should go and do that!

So I guess my question is this: why are you trying so hard to stay pre-med? Is it because this is what you want and you can’t see yourself being fulfilled the same way doing anything else? For me, that’s the wall I come up against every time I quit being pre-med (which has happened like… three times now?) If that’s the case then maybe look at alternate careers in the medical field (I myself have thought extensively about becoming a genetic counselor–similar academic requirements, but not as harsh in terms of training, and probably not quite as competitive as far as undergraduate GPA), or you can just keep pushing towards this goal and try to find better ways of studying. As for the extracurricular stuff, I would recommend that you try to stop viewing it as this crushing obligation. Find volunteer opportunities that are things you think are cool and that you want to do, not because they’re things that will look good on a resume. View shadowing as an opportunity to see whether various medical field things are right for you, not as ticking a box for some imaginary (or literal) application-strengthening checklist. If your campus has a pre-med/pre-health club, see about going to some of their events or talks. Talk to a pre-health advisor about options and opportunities. Talk to other pre-health people. It’s a lot, being pre-med. I feel the pressure too, all the time, and it can be exhausting, but if it’s really what you want to do, you don’t have to give up. You certainly don’t have to give up this early. You’re only a baby freshman (well, a baby sophomore, now, I guess) (I can call you a baby because I’m 24 and I have a whole degree now, so #dealwithit) (I promise I mean it with love and not condescension). One year of not-great grades is not going to preclude you from being a doctor.

But if the reason you’re so reluctant to change paths is out of obligation instead of an actual passion for the field, then it’s not worth it to keep making yourself miserable. 

Whoever it is that you feel like you’ll be letting down by not becoming a doctor–your parents or your grandparents or your high school science teacher or whoever–you don’t owe them. I don’t know if you’ve got parents putting pressure on you or what, but if you do, just remember that it’s your life and no one has the right to tell you what to do with it. 

Or maybe the person you feel like you’re betraying is your past self, the version of you that’s dressing up as a doctor for Halloween and telling everyone for the past 18 years how you’re gonna be a doctor and sitting in your bedroom watching Grey’s Anatomy and getting all fired up about how that’s gonna be you one day. This is a thought I’ve had a lot over the past six years or so. It’s hard if you’ve identified yourself by this desire your whole life to suddenly imagine being anything else. I don’t know if that’s the case for you, but I feel sometimes like I have this 12-year-old Kari in my head and I’m breaking her little idealistic medical nerd heart every time I take a step outside the path she’d have me on. But guess what? You don’t owe your past self shit. Your past self had ideas of what your life would be, just like baby Kari had ideas for what my life would be, but she didn’t have all the information that I have. I know better than she did. You cannot control the actions and the thoughts of your future self, you just have to trust that they are better informed than you are. 

You are allowed to change. Your identity is yours and yours alone to shape how you please. It doesn’t make you weak to change course, it makes you flexible. (And hey, if studying biology has taught me anything, it’s that adaptability is key to survival) (There’s a reason my blog is called “dynamic instability”)

[relentless-for-jesus]

1 I need some help. So I'm a black Christian & a sophomore &I I'm going thru racism like crazy & i keep praying to God for me to find online schooling (I'm a loner @ school anyways &I!literally don't talk to no one) Last year I had to go to a xtreme racist school (mostly white & mix & white race latinos) & both sets of classes I had the kids were either saying nigger/nigga or saying anti black stuff. 1st classes kids said the nigger this/that got detention & anti black European kid suspended (2

2) btw I was only black kid (only 1blk/white girl) so they switch my classes & I was the 2nd black kid out of mix/white Latinos &a whites. All of them said Nigga and calling someone a nigger. & I told & all they did was talk to the kids 2x (principal & Vice princip.) & the big problem was 2 white girls called me a nigger as I went to lunch I was @the point of exposing the school to a famous site. Btw I went to that school bc I wanted to purse my art passion since I'm advance for reg. HS art (3)

(3 now I'm @ this new school going thru same problem except less than 4 blks a class & a black principal. my white chef teacher & students r racist & today a white kid call this brown Latino a nigger in the hall & the kid sees me there. & I hate it here & I really dnt want to go to my reg. HS bc a lot of ppl don't like me (cuz a previous friend turned ppl Idk against meI) & I only have 1 friend. Pls pray for me that I find a free online school in NJ. Really need punishments for these kids. ..4)

4. Last one sorry.. I was gonna expose that 1st school but when I was messaging a lady who knows ppl w/ a popular blog I was having a bad feeling like maybe God didn't want me to do it or something bad might happens after the info was online. Thanks for reading this. I'm really struggling but I have faith & believe God will make a way!

Hey!! I am so sorry I didn’t respond sooner, before I left Tumblr for a bit I saw this and wanted to respond right then but I had to leave Tumblr to get closer to God so I hope you understand! 

I really empathize with you because I am black and I was in a majority non black school system from elementary school all the way through high school. There was probably five black kids in my elementary school, probably less than fifteen in my middle school and probably less than twenty five black students out of two thousand students at my high school soooo I can somewhat get how you feel dealing with the racism and stuff because me and my brother endured that crap too! It is annoying!!

I will definitely pray for you because It is NOT easy being around that negativity. Especially when you’re pretty much the only black person in the school, that really stinks that the diversity isn’t great where you are. I couldn’t imagine being the ONLY black student like...heck no. Especially when in social studies and they start talking about slavery and racism. That was a little awkward for me since I was the only black kid in my history class. I feel for you! I really hope things work out for you! You’re a child of God and no one messes with a child of God! 

Remember this verse!

Romans 12:19 (NIV)“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.”

I will pray for you! Please feel free to come off of anon and talk to me. I’ll be your friend, you’re not as alone as you feel!!!! You can get through high school and be successful, I know you can!! God’s got your back, just trust Him. Much love and God Bless you!!!!!!!!