#when I originally intended this novel to be a multiple pov one it was going to be part of chapter

[thethistlegirlwrites]

This song didn't make it onto my Spotify top plays, but it still inspired one of my favorite (if a few throwaway lines for an offscreen event) scenes in Compass...

As soon as they pull out of the courtyard, Sierra pulls out her phone, dials Uncle John, and sets it on the console. “Sierra?” The voice coming through is breathy and a little choked.  “Yeah. It’s me. We’re okay. Just ran into some trouble. Motel California is officially history though.” She sighs. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you when I get home. But we’re all okay and we still have Barrett and we’re still headed to the Silver Cells.” She gets the last part out all in a rush, hoping to pre-emptively halt any requests for her to turn back. “Thank God.” She hears a sound of creaking wood, and some kind of faint mumbled voice in the background. He’s at the church. Probably lit a candle for me as soon as he heard the signal came in. “Maira told me about the distress call. And told me not to call and distract either of you.” He chuckles weakly. “She was right.”

The minute I heard that song, the only thing in my head was the mental image of John, as soon as he realized a distress signal was coming in from Sierra's last known location, rushing to the closest church to pray for a miracle, because the one thing he can't bear is to lose the only piece of his brother he has left.

@catwingsathena @nade2308 @telltaleclerk @the-one-and-only-valkyrie and I think you might appreciate this one @ettawritesnstudies

[sophia-sol]

8 original fiction recs (4 short stories, 3 novelettes, 1 novella)

One Flew Over the Songhua River, by Qi Ran, translated by Andy Dudak

➤ scifi short story translated from chinese; originally published in 2021

➤ it's a fascinating outside-outside pov, a nephew telling the story of his aunt, whose story is that of her famous physicist-astronaut husband

➤ the multiple layers of abstraction work well for this story -- and the narrative loops around itself in how it's told, too, wandering forwards and backwards in time to circle around the heart of things

➤ which is really a story about family and about place and about how you decide what to prioritise in your life

➤ it's lovely and thoughtful and wistful. I really liked it!

➤ 7k words in length

Himalia, by Carrie Vaughn

➤ Scifi novelette about growing up somewhere you always know you're going to have to leave eventually, because it was never intended to be permanent

➤ and leaving your best friend behind, who wants to never leave, because it's home

➤ it's really good!! I had a lot of feelings about the characters, and the way Niri is drawn in Jenny's life through her absence in this day of her return

➤ also it's set in space, on one of the satellites of Jupiter!

➤ 8k words in length

The Weight of Your Own Ashes, by Carlie St. George

➤ scifi short story about a multi-bodied alien in a relationship with a human

➤ questions of identity, of whether you're being seen for who you truly are by people who want to interpret the whole world as being inhabited by people like them, eyes closed to the reality of differences

➤ I loved the intertwining of the worldbuilding and the relationship drama, and I loved that we got to see Yonder's relationships with other people, friends and siblings and so forth, the ways those relationships are different than the one with Alice

➤ 6k words in length

Half Sick of Shadows, by Elle Engel

➤ post-apocalyptic novelette about a girl who's the only survivor left in a tower that protected her and her ancestors from the outside world

➤ the whole story is just Lena and her interiority as she faces the realities of her situation, as she grows and changes and develops the strength of will to do what needs to be done

➤ and it's so well done! I was captivated the whole time

➤ 10k words in length

Blackjack, by Veronica Schanoes

➤ fantasy novelette about a jewish grandmother, after the death of her daughter, facing and dealing with the ways her troubled first marriage affected her life and her daughter

➤ Schanoes is so good at character and setting and emotion!

➤ and it's always great to have a story where the hero is an older woman

➤ 12k words in length

The Spindle of Necessity, by B. Pladek

➤ short story about a trans man who's obsessed with the m/m novels of a dead historical novelist who he's convinced was trans

➤ and about the dreams he has where he meets her and talks with her

➤ it's a story that feels unsatisfying but like, in a satisfying way?

➤ idk how to explain! it makes me want to reread it 3 more times and think about the way one's relationship with oneself is mediated through the stories one reads and loves

➤ it's really good

➤ 6k words in length

An Intergalactic Smuggler's Guide to Homecoming, by Tia Tashiro

➤ a scifi short story set in space, about a smuggler who left her sister behind when she left the shitty planet she grew up on

➤ but her latest mission has her returning to that planet to deliver the goods

➤ (the goods are hundreds of teeny tiny sentient bioluminescent jellyfish fleeing civil war)

➤ I enjoyed the worldbuilding, and the difficult emotions about family, and how the things that felt world-endingly true at 17 don't need to be true forever

➤ 7k words in length

Between Blades, by Filip Hajdar Drnovšek Zorko

➤ a full novella published online for free the same way a short story would be!

➤ secondary world fantasy about two women from the outskirts of empire, who don't fit the identities their cultures expect of them but who are also out of place within the empire

➤ they're gladiators in a partnership where one in a pair of gladiators takes a "swordform" and the other wields them

➤ great characters and great worldbuilding and great reflections on identity in this context!

➤ I loved Leris and Gerthe, and Ulmo too

➤ and the Empress herself and her story is fascinating, and I can see how in a different narrative her backstory would be the focus of a heroic narrative, and I love that that's not the story we get, this isn't a "monarchy is good with the right person in charge" kind of story like so much fantasy is

➤ the narrative perspective on religion is really cool too

➤ 36k words in length

[lloronista]

BOOKS I READ IN 2023: REVIEWS

At the beginning of 2023, I made a resolution to read at least one new book each month. Life got busy and I didn't always keep up with my reading goals, but since it's the last day of the year, I wanted to do a brief review for each new book I read :P

JANUARY

Martita, I Remember You / Martita, te recuerdo - Sandra Cisneros

I have been a huge fan of Sandra Cisneros for many years now and quite honestly can say she's one of my biggest inspirations in the way I've developed my own skills as a writer. So of course I was more than excited when she announced her latest novella. Martita, I Remember You is a book that had me getting teary-eyed in the breakroom at my workplace when I would read it during lunch. Such is the way that Cisneros touches the heart so masterfully, with such profound and succinct prose. It's imbued with autobiographical aspects of Cisneros's life, but it's also very much a story for anyone who has long distance friendships, the way it captures that feeling of connection beyond place and time. Can't recommend this one enough, it's a short and very worthwhile read!

The Tea Master and the Detective - Aliette de Bodard

This one was a recommendation from Nami, and a very wonderful one! I hadn't read anything by Aliette de Bodard before, and even without having read the other installments in this particular series, I thought the worldbuilding was so vibrant and captivating that I didn't find myself feeling lost or in need of explanation beyond what de Bodard showed in her writing. One of my favorite elements of The Tea Master and the Detective was the cast of strong and interesting female characters, the sly and mysterious detective, Long Chau, being my favorite ^^ This one, too, was a rather short read, yet the thrill of a fast-paced adventure and murder mystery was no less amazing than you'd expect from a longer novel. Definitely recommend this one if you're looking for a sci-fi story that strays from the typical genre framework.

FEBRUARY

Dragon's Winter (1997 Uncorrected Proof) - Elizabeth A Lynn

Well, this was me cheating a little bit ^^'' I've read EAL's Dragon's Winter as well as the sequel novel probably at least ten times, as it's one of my all time favorite books. And each time I re-read it, I absorb something new - a little detail in the setting that recolors my memory, or way a line of dialogue is spoken here and there that gives a certain inflection. But when I came across a copy of the original uncorrected proof version of this novel, I couldn't get my hands on it fast enough 😆 In a way, it was like engaging with the material with fresh eyes, taking in the differences and aspects that hadn't yet been fully decided on by the author in the final draft. One aspect that I observed in the original uncorrected proof of DW is how EAL seemed to allow one of the main characters, Azil, more insight into his emotions and inner thoughts than in the final edition of the novel, which was something I relished greatly. Why she made the decision to edit those passages out, I wonder about; perhaps she intended for Azil to be more enigmatic, to have less of a POV or central narrative position in the story. I wonder about this, because I think making Azil more in the foreground of the story makes thematic sense. Dragon's Winter is, on its surface, a story about twin brothers (one a dragon changeling, the other a wizard) who go to war with one another. But on a deeper level, it's about the complicated love story between Karadur and Azil: their friendship, one's betrayal of the other, the way they must pick up and mend the pieces afterwards. They both undergo a transformation of sorts, of multiple sorts. Their relationship is the lifeblood of the story, and I felt that even more intensely in EAL's original version of the novel. As I said, this is perhaps my favorite book of all time, and so I definitely recommend this one tenfold, especially to anyone interested in queer fantasy stories!

APRIL

The Hacienda - Isabel Cañas

Oh my, how I adored this one! Isabel Cañas is probably my favorite author I've discovered this year, and I'm so excited for everything she's going to publish in the future as well ;v; The Hacienda is a book that has something to offer for pretty much everyone - gripping, graphic horror, amazingly researched history, compelling and interesting female characters, and a really nicely written romance. Regarding the latter, I was actually surprised how into the relationship between Beatriz and Andrés I became xD (like yeah, girl! get that hot priest!! 🔥🔥🔥) At its core, The Hacienda is a take on the haunted house genre, rife with the ghosts of Spanish colonization and Mexico's war for independence. I really enjoyed Beatriz as a horror story protagonist and a Final Girl; there was a strength and ambitiousness to her that made it really easy to root for her. And I loved Andrés as the parallel protagonist across from her, as well as his dual role as a spiritual guide to his community, not only as a Catholic priest but as a curandero in touch with Indigenous perspectives of curses and spirits. There was something really refreshing about the way Cañas writes them working together to uncover the source of the haunting. I will warn that the ending has more of a bittersweet mood rather than a happy ending, but overall it's a very enjoyable read!

JUNE - JULY

The Left Hand of Darkness - Ursula K. Le Guin

Wow, where to even begin. This was the first full-length novel by Le Guin that I read, by Suri's recommendation, and it completely blew me away with what Le Guin had the ability to accomplish in her worldbuilding. I truly don't think I've ever encountered another science fiction story that utilizes its genre to encapsulate such a sincere and complex reflection of humanity and society that The Left Hand of Darkness achieves. For one thing, Le Guin's background in anthropology shines in the way she positions Genly as a lens through which the reader similarly takes in such a vastly different alien culture, at times grappling to understand them and at other times seeing them as though through a mirror reflection of ourselves. Genly's dynamic with Estraven, in particular, and the way it changes over the course of the story, acting as the emotional current of their combined journeys, was most captivating part for me. I know TLHoD has sort of become more widely known on tumblr for the way it explores gender and sexuality, which it does quite extraordinarily. But I think, at the heart of it, TLHoD is a story about storytelling, the way it promotes understanding in a way that ascends scientific observation of another culture. This is certainly a book I will be re-reading many times in the future, absorbing more new tidbits each time.

SEPTEMBER

Killers of the Flower Moon - David Grann

The one non-fiction book I read this year, and what a fascinating one. Placing it in the genre of true crime seems somewhat inaccurate, as this story is so much larger than the narrative of murder and corruption, but a real life horror story of the violence wrought by white supremacy. Killers of the Flower Moon covers only part of a historical era that saw a widespread conspiracy to seize the headrights of Indigenous people from the Osage nation, who after being forcibly displaced and moved to a reservation, were found to be on land that was rich with oil. Needless to say, this is not a part of history that gets taught in American history classrooms. So I found Grann's relaying of the Osage murders to be educational as it was gripping, sorrowful, and meticulous in its outlaying of all the different factors that went into this tragedy, the disenfranchisement and dehumanization of an entire group of people, all for the sake of sating the avarice of another group of people. Since the film adaptation's release, I have seen some members of the Osage community, as well as other Indigenous people, critique both the film's and novel's centering of white characters in the story. I can certainly see how Grann spent a lot of the novel focused on the early FBI's involvement in the investigation, at the detriment of making Osage characters like Molly more prominent. If anything, I think KotFM works as an effective starting point for anyone wanting to learn more about this part of history, passing from this work to those written and spoken by Osage voices.

The Haunting of Alejandra – V. Castro

Okay so as soon as I saw the premise of this novel announced, and from an author whose other works I really enjoyed, I was sold right away. Anyone who knows me knows I'm obsessed with the ever-evolving figure of La Llorona and her tragic, haunting narrative. And this take on La Llorona, as with many of Castro's other decolonial reimaginings, was amazingly refreshing. For one thing, it blew me away how Castro's Llorona was not just a ghostly figure, but almost more of a demonic entity - only to then be revealed to be something so much stranger, an interdimensional being that feeds on grief. I also found the titular character of Alejandra to be just as refreshing of a heroine - older, anxious, in an unhappy, thankless marriage. She's worn out in the beginning, fractured by trauma and disconnected from her heritage, her family history. Castro has a way of using horror and subjects of trauma in her novels to be transformed into something cathartic, and it's no different here as Alejandra finds healing and strength in order to protect her children from this monstrous Llorona, to save herself from the same fate. I 100% recommend this one to anyone else who grew up with folktales of La Llorona and other boogeymen, this version is definitely worth the read!

OCTOBER

She Who Became the Sun – Shelley Parker-Chan

Every now and then, I come across a book that I can clearly see is good, but just not for me. I finally read She Who Became the Sun after seeing a lot of hype on social media, and plenty of rave reviews from some people I follow on here. But as much as I really wanted to like, even love, this novel, I just could not get myself into it. And as for why I couldn't get into it, I have to admit I'm still not entirely certain; you would think that a fictionalized queer drama based on Chinese history with fantasy elements would be the very essence of my cup of tea. The prose was beautiful, the dialogue flowed well. I think the major issue for me, however, lies in the pacing. At the halfway mark of the book, I still really wasn't captivated by any of the characters very much, or the plot - the latter hadn't actually moved along very much, in fact. Even at three-quarters of the way through, I was still desperately waiting for something to grip me by the shoulders and make me pay attention. Additionally (and others who read and loved this novel may disagree with me on this), I actually think much of the first chunk of the book could have been heavily edited down, or even just cut away entirely and relayed through flashbacks. Most of Zhu's time at the temple during her childhood could have been mentioned elsewhere, or visited briefly as she senses herself becoming more ruthless later on (really, the two most important scenes in that whole section were when Ouyang burned down the temple, and earlier when she thought of murdering one of the teacher monks). The way that the sudden rebellions were so quickly squashed, the way characters were swiftly and brutally removed from the story, seemed more like an attempt at shock value than actually serving to raise the stakes or move the story forward. But anyways, to conclude this off: I can see why lots of people did enjoy this novel, it certainly has all the right the elements of tumblr's next favorite book, after Captive Prince and The Raven Cycle. But I think in order for me to have liked it, it would have required a different editor behind the writing process, someone who encouraged Parker-Chan to cut down the excess and make the story flow better overall.

NOVEMBER

Guardian / Zhen Hun (Vol. 1) – Priest

I had heard of this series when it was a live action drama you could find on youtube, but reading the translated first volume this year has made me totally head over heels for the story and characters. Guardian has quickly become one of my favorite Danmei, set in a world where the mundane and the supernatural frequently collide and it's up to a paranormal detective agency to handle these matters. I especially love the way Priest balances the setting with dark, macabre subjects with moments of light-hearted humor. But amid the adventurous aspects of the story, the central conflict mainly involves the budding romance between Zhao Yunlan and the mysterious Shen Wei. The romance is delightful to read, and I think their personalities are what make them really compelling, when they're apart and when they're together. I'm excited to read more of this series when the English versions get released ^^

DECEMBER

Vampires of el Norte – Isabel Cañas

Another Isabel Cañas novel, and just as enjoyable of a read! Just like The Hacienda, Vampires of el Norte blends history and horror, portraying the Mexican-American War through its effect on hacendados being violently forced from their land by Anglos - and also being preyed on by vampires. Even more so than in The Hacienda, Cañas has a masterful way of building and sustaining suspense in this story. Despite it being a non-traditional form of horror, the danger looming all around of vampires, and also of violent Anglos, persists throughout. As someone who loves vampire literature, I was really impressed with how Cañas uses vampires here as an allegory for colonization/displacement, and the way that several characters in the novel at first mistake vampirism for a kind of susto. Furthermore, I thought it interesting how the vampires of this world are much more animalistic than the suave, intellectual type of vampire you see often in vamp literature. Rather than being evil or demonic, they're almost neutral in their methods of hunting, more like predators that are solely motivated by hunger, as one would view a wolf or puma. The way that these vampires are weaponized by Anglos almost seems to reference the way that Spaniards would train their large, European breeds of dogs to maul Indigenous peoples during the conquest - a connection that remains in line with Cañas's decolonial themes. Also like The Hacienda, the characters here are written wonderfully, their dreams and fears focusing the reader in with their emotional currents. Nena and Néstor's tumultuous romance takes center stage, the novel opening on the tragedy that splits them apart for nine years. I loved that there were so many layers to their love for each other, the sweet and innocent puppy love they had as children, the different ways they felt anger and betrayal by the parts of their lives around each other that they couldn't control, the moments of heady sensuality and heated bickering while on their journey home, and the fact that they both have to literally and figuratively fight to be with each other. I think Cañas had a lot of fun writing Nena and Néstor's relationship, and it was definitely fun to read ^^

Those were the books I read in 2023! For 2024, my main goal is to read through all the Danmei I've been piling up 🤭

[chellyfishing]

well, i finished the last book i meant to read for the year, and i’ve been wanting to do a lil year in review of all the media from this year, but the main problem is that i don’t log movies/tv anywhere and my memory is uhh?? real bad?? i also definitely didn’t listen to nearly as much new music this year as usual :\\ anyway i figured i’d start with books for now and maybe ponder music/tv/movies/games over the next couple days.

NO i will not include fic even though i definitely did spend like a week recently accidentally reading a 600+k fic for a fandom i’m NOT EVEN IN, i can’t believe i read the whole thing

my storygraph is here

i read fifteen books this year, which makes it my best reading year since 2016, when i inexplicably read 40 in one year?? who is she i gave 5 stars to three of them:

confessions by kanae minato: this is a thriller told from multiple POVs about the supposed accidental death/actual murder of a teacher’s young daughter and the fallout that happens when she reveals she knows the truth. it is hard to root for anyone in this but that’s not really the point. every chapter reframes the original story again and again and again up until the final page so honestly don’t bother making your mind up about anything at any point before then.

the last house on needless street by catriona ward: i feel like explaining almost anything about this book and why i loved it so much would be just one massive spoiler, because its strengths lie in its abilities to subvert. subvert what? kind of... everything? it’s about a man, and his cat, and his daughter. it’s about a woman searching for her missing sister. it’s about illness, and abuse, and a serial killer. trigger warnings abound, especially regarding things happening to children. i don’t really know how to recommend this, except that it’s just Good and i haven’t stopped thinking about it.

you’ve lost a lot of blood by eric larocca: this is the book i just finished. it is very short, you could almost class it as a novella, in fact there is a novella in it? but also other things? i literally just finished it, so i’m still processing, because SO MUCH happens in a very short span of pages. i might reread it quickly because it really does go so fast, you almost don’t have time to breathe. the novella within the novel(la) is told in present-tense, in very short sentences and paragraphs, and you especially fly through those sections. i don’t know at this point if i think the whole thing could have benefitted from being longer or not. i might even change my rating of it later, but i sat for a minute after the last page and felt pretty strongly it was a five-star read so for now i go with my gut. i could feel myself going on a face journey the whole time, from sentence to sentence. it has things to say, in a sort of recursive way, it’s hard to explain. i think what it’s about is art, and also identity. i think i’m going to be thinking about it for awhile.

several other books i read this year probably would have been 5 stars if i was still using goodreads instead of storygraph, like a powerless fool, with the top ones of those being:

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid: you all know this book!!!!! i’m late to the party. there is a lot in here that is so beautiful and compelling. there is something about her writing that i also felt in malibu rising (which i also read this year) that keeps things from being a full five stars from me. i don’t think i can really explain it succinctly. but i was still very moved by this book, i cried a lot, and i do intend to read more by her, because her work is very readable.

piranesi by susanna clarke: i think this is a book that i only didn’t love quite as much as other people because i heard how good it was going in and expected something more revolutionary or life-changing instead of just A Very Good Book. like if i didn’t have any expectations i probably would have finished it and gone “wow!” instead of “oh, that was nice.” it’s about a man who doesn’t know much living almost entirely alone in a place that can’t be real, and what happens when both he and outside forces start to peel away at that reality.

all the feels by olivia dade: this is the sequel to spoiler alert, which i also read and loved this year, but slightly less. both of these books are very wonderful funny wish fulfillment romantic comedies about fat women and gorgeous prestige television star men (the show they’re on is like game of thrones but make it greek myth), they were the kind of thing that i just kind of needed to read at the time. what puts this one slightly ahead of its predecessor for me is that most of the conflict comes from the characters not being able to get out of their own way and sort of having to learn how to grow and be better people both for themselves and each other. i also just liked their romantic dynamic a bit more and i think anybody who is familiar with both pairs and also me would be like “yeah that tracks.” there’s a third book in the universe featuring a very minor background couple from the first two coming out soon!! ready for it!!

and the other good to very good things i read:

the ghost bride by yangsze choo (4.5): this book is set in 19th century malaysia and is about colonial chinese families (the author herself being chinese-malaysian). it’s about a woman whose family is Respectable but in a precarious position, and so naturally that means hoping for an Advantageous Marriage. there’s a man she loves, but he’s out of reach, and then his family proposes the idea of her marrying... that man’s dead cousin? which she’s not into (for whatever reason). but then he starts haunting her, and she has to figure out how to get him off her back so she can actually live her damn life. it’s very cute and fun and adventurous and sweet and romantic. it’s also a series on netflix which is somewhat faithful, it changes some things for the better and some things for less so, i enjoyed it though! the dead man, who is a limp weirdo in the book, is kind of a banger character in the series (i mean, still a weirdo, but with killer fashion sense).

the bright spear trilogy by hl macfarlane (all 3.75): these are three books classed as “gothic scottish fairy tales.” in terms of writing they are very light and frothy, kind of romantic drama with a fairy tale backdrop. there’s a bit more plot in the first one but things gradually become more about the relationship drama as things progress. slight spoiler but absolutely approve of the heroine having two handsome suitors and deciding she will keep both. they aren’t amazing books overall but they were fun fast reads and i honestly appreciate them being kind of just lightly poly. the third book is... unexpectedly dark? like trigger warnings for SA among some other things. things never get truly grim but after i read it i was like oh yeah that was kind of a lot wasn’t it, if you think about it. the author has promised a sequel series about the child character born at the end and... yeah. yeah i’m gonna read it.

malibu rising by taylor jenkins reid (4.5): another book in the taylor jenkins reidiverse, about the family of a minor evelyn hugo character. he’s a rock star, he’s got a wife who’s been with him from before he Made It, they’ve got kids who love to surf. the action focuses on the kids, taking place over one night, with flashbacks filling in the stories of their parents, and how actually, their dad kinda sucks. this is a lighter read than evelyn hugo but deals with similar ideas and themes.

penpal by dathan auerbach (4.25): this is kind of a famous no sleep/reddit horror story that was published as a novel. it’s about a man who’s reflecting on his childhood, putting together a lot of seemingly disparate, out-of-order events to form a truly disturbing narrative. the most important thing about this book that you should know is that it’s a bummer. you won’t walk away from this one feeling very good about anything. the pacing is kind of slow as things build over time and then A Lot happens in the last bit and then you just kind of have to live with it.

neverworld wake by marisha pessl (3.5): this was easily the most disappointing book i read this year. it’s about a group of friends who are stuck in purgatory reliving the same day over and over again, and it’s also about their friend who died a year ago and what happened to him. i... don’t really know what to say about this book. it wasn’t bad, obviously. maybe i just don’t get it. i don’t know what it was trying to say. i don’t know what i was supposed to feel. but i wasn’t feeling conflicted in the way i was with something like, say, confessions. it was just kind of like, “...okay? and?”

spoiler alert by olivia dade (4.25): as mentioned above.

autumn of the grimoire by jl vampa (4.0): listen... i read this because it’s arranged marriage. more broadly it’s about four sisters who are like, seasonal witches, and they pass around a grimoire from season to season that gives them tasks passed down by their predecessors. our protagonist is sister autumn and she always gets the absolutely worst most grim and traumatic tasks, and now she’s inexplicably being forced to marry Some Guy. the thing that i liked the least about this book is how it was told from different viewpoints of characters who have different amounts of knowledge but the reader is constantly being kept in the dark for no real reason, like, we weren’t learning with the characters, the characters already knew!! we were just being teased with constant reminders about how there’s More Going On, which is so tedious to me. “had i but known” and related writing tropes are among my least favorites. also, i knew it was going to be het, but there was a teeny tiny part of me that thought maybe the male half of the marriage was already in a relationship with another man and he and his wife were just going to end up bffs and i read like half the book through that lens and it took quite awhile before the book reached a point where i could no longer pretend that made sense. i recommend trying this anyway because if the author is going to repeatedly remind me there are things i don’t know it’s my right as a free american to pretend the thing i don’t know is gay. overall in spite of all that there are some fun characters, and some fun plot twists! i didn’t expect it to end how it did and i’m actually kind of looking forward to reading more in the series when they come out!

i didn’t read any books i hated this year, which was nice!! i think i read more 5 stars last year but i also read some real duds too. the “worst” was just being disappointed by

neverworld wake

.

i started so many others but i don’t consider any of them DNFs becaaaaause i start books all the time and put them down and it has nothing to do with the book and everything to do with the fact that i have a squirrel brain and reading is so so hard. hopefully i’ll finish some of them next year?? i don’t think anything i read this year was an aborted attempt from last year tho sooooo idk. i wish my brain was better but i still consider this a pretty good reading year overall!

[toxicnotebook]

Okay, SO.

I am very blessed to live in a neighborhood with a bunch of readers who hate throwing anything useful away, so there is a local little library that is constantly getting new books. I- being a reader who hates throwing anything useful away- visit this little library on a regular basis. I tend to look for fantasy, sci-fi, and any romance novels that look especially cheesy.

I am not a regular romance reader, but I have found a couple of gems here and there through the little library. And the ones that didn’t work for me were entertaining for, hmm, perhaps not the intended reasons, but a good time none the less.

The books in the photo are my latest grabs from the library- Love on the Brain and Go Hex Yourself. Enemy-to-lovers in NASA and a cozy modern witch settings, respectively? Sure! Sounds fun!

I decide to start with Go Hex Yourself and you know what, I’m enjoying the first couple of chapters. The writing style is a little undeveloped, but the hints at the heroine’s backstory are drawing me in, the old witch is charming, I’m having a good time. And then the POV switches to the grumpy love interest.

After a few pages of his inner dialogue, I'm like ‘I need to look at some reviews’ because MAN I could not STAND HIM and wanted to know if it was worth sticking it out.

So I type the title into google, intending to just look up reviews, and then I notice, in the autofill section:

Go Hex Yourself Reylo

And I'm like

Oh I GOTTA know why this is popping up

I'm fully expecting there to be a mega-popular Reylo fic that just happened to share a title with a romance novel, but the truth is so much better- and so much funnier- than my expectations.

Here’s what I can tell from my brief deep dive: from at least 2018ish, Reylo fic authors have been successfully publishing their AU fanfics as original books- to the point where there are MULTIPLE GOODREADS LISTS. And, from what I can tell, this trend really took off in 2020. You know, after a certain franchise-crushing movie came out.

Now, I don’t know if this was a conscious fandom movement or just a coincidence, but it really looks like a good chuck of the Reylo fandom basically decided to take their toys and leave after the release of The Rise of Skywalker. And then publish the toys themselves and make their own money.

Listen. Reylo is so not my thing. These books are going back into the wild. But I have nothing but respect for this kind of hustle. A piece of fiction gives you a bad, unsatisfying ending? Fuck it! Take your fanworks, tweek ‘em a little, and then sell it as your own IP!

Like I am not kidding when I say this is a trend other fandoms should follow. If the work sucks, make a better version of it. Become their competition. Make some cash out of SPITE and love for your favs.

Absolutely fantastic. I can’t wait to see if any other fandom does this in the future.

[padawanlost]

So I'm curious, Dave Filoni has been quite critical of the prequel era Jedi at times (and has got hate for it), but I wondered was the element of criticism of the Order that comes over the prequel movies intentional on Lucas part? A lot of people insist it wasn't and the Jedi are perfect, but I'm not so sure Lucas intended that, at least not in the prequels.

The Jedi Order’s fallibility was necessary for the prequels to exist. I know I’ve posted this many times already but George Lucas said on multiple occasion that he was going for political themes, specially themes about how the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

The story being told in ‘Star Wars’ is a classic one. Every few hundred years, the story is retold because we have a tendency to do the same things over and over again. Power corrupts, and when you’re in charge, you start doing things that you think are right, but they’re actually not. – George Lucas in 2005

[The Jedi] sort of persuade people into doing the right thing but their job really isn’t to go around fighting people yet there are now used as generals and they are fighting a war and they are doing something they really weren’t meant to do.They are being corrupted by this war, by being forced to be generals instead of peacemakers. – George Lucas for E! Behind the Scenes - Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith

The prequel trilogy is based on a back-story outline Lucas created in the mid-1970s for the original three “Star Wars” movies, so the themes percolated out of the Vietnam War and the Nixon-Watergate era, he said. Lucas began researching how democracies can turn into dictatorships with full consent of the electorate.

In ancient Rome, “why did the senate after killing Caesar turn around and give the government to his nephew?” Lucas said. “Why did France after they got rid of the king and that whole system turn around and give it to Napoleon? It’s the same thing with Germany and Hitler. "You sort of see these recurring themes where a democracy turns itself into a dictatorship, and it always seems to happen kind of in the same way, with the same kinds of issues, and threats from the outside, needing more control. A democratic body, a senate, not being able to function properly because everybody’s squabbling, there’s corruption.” 

George Lucas has admitted that one of the biggest influences on the series was the Nixon era. In an interview with the Chicago Tribune, Lucas said Star Wars “was really about the Vietnam War, and that was the period where Nixon was trying to run for a [second] term, which got me to thinking historically about how do democracies get turned into dictatorships? Because the democracies aren’t overthrown; they’re given away.”

There’s a clear difference between the Jedi being fallible and the jedi being evil, but that is a line fandom stan culture has erased. Because of the strong stance people are taking ‘in the defense of the jedi order’ we are living in a environment where recognizing they made mistakes is considered being ‘critical’ or an ‘anti’.

The main difference between the clone wars and the movies is on how these themes were explored. Where George had a limited amount of hours to explore them as the plot moved forward Filoni had years. It’s a big difference, one that allowed to Filoni to consider multiple POVs. The movies focused on Anakin’s journey, Filoni could give a lot more time to the clones, jedi padawans, senators, citiznes, etc. That’s why TCW feels more ‘critical’ of the Jedi order.

The truth is both explored the fallibility of the Jedi Order, but it’s much easier to pretend that wasn’t the case when you only watch the movies. for anyone who has studied gffa history and politics will notice right away how messy everything was and how so many mistakes were made by all sides involved. It’s not just a case of TCW vs movies. If we are being real, it’s a case of comics, novels, shows, movies and creators vs people who can’t admit their fave fictional characters have human flaws.

It’s kind of ironic. The more we see of the Jedi order the easier it becomes to see the cracks the allowed Palpatine’s evil to spread. But instead of enjoy the themes being explored the fandom reaction is Why are you showing me this?!

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

What is your opinion on writing a chapter/book in first person and then changing all of the first-person singular pronouns to third person pronouns? I hope this question makes sense, but I think it would be an interesting way to approach writing a third-person close narrative by simply writing the story in first person pov and then transferring it all to third person pov! (Asking this because you just uploaded a video on close third person narratives <3)

This is actually a piece of writing advice I vehemently disagree with! BUT if this works for you—absolutely go for it and ignore everything I’m about to say!

I’ve had to do this a few times for a few classes across high school and even university, and I have literally learned nothing about POV by doing it. In my experience, transferring one POV to the next will teach one thing: how to transfer one POV to the next. It will most likely NOT teach you how to actually write that POV (and that’s because POV is complex and can’t simply be boiled down to an equation of which pronouns are being used). POV is oftentimes critical in how you construct your character’s voice - so a third voice is going to differ from a first. If you switch them by changing the pronouns, this difference between POVs is not considered, and the POV may risk reading as flat.

The way I write a close third narrative and a first are not the same because there are different things to consider. This is SO hard to verbalize, but if you write across multiple POVs, you might understand this feeling - you just know the difference between writing first present VS first retrospective VS second present VS third limited, etc etc. If I’m writing a first, I’m much, much closer to the stream of conscious of a character. If I’m writing a third, I can get very close to that stream of conscious, but it’s always filtered through the narrator (like I said in the video, this narrator can be close to the point where they and the character are essentially the same, or they can be much more distant). You can’t consider these nuances when switching pronouns.

Here’s an excerpt of Rewired (bear with me - this is old lol but I haven’t written a novel in first person since!), which is a novel written in first person present tense:

Dad took me to Gianni’s on the drive back down. We’d visited it on our way up, and he knew I liked the pizzeria for its deep-dish. I can’t remember if my father was Italian. He might have been. My parents had gifted me a disposable camera for Christmas, and I took grainy flash photos of the drink machines and tiny paper lanterns. This isn’t Gianni’s, and it’s 2:00AM.

Harrison orders us a deep dish large enough to feed all six of us, minus Emily because she doesn’t do dairy. Darren pumps napkins and caplets of ketchup onto his tray, and Foster brings eight straws, like two of us will screw up opening them, for some reason. Ris brings his car keys and Emily over to us at the same time and drops each off at the table before b-lining for the ticket machine.

This is what happens when we transfer it to third person:

Max took Reeve to Gianni’s on the drive back down. They’d visited it on their way up, and he knew she liked the pizzeria for its deep-dish. Reeve can’t remember if her father was Italian. He might have been. Reeve’s parents had gifted her a disposable camera for Christmas, and she took grainy flash photos of the drink machines and tiny paper lanterns. This isn’t Gianni’s, and it’s 2:00AM.

Harrison orders the group a deep dish large enough to feed all six of them, minus Emily because she doesn’t do dairy. Darren pumps napkins and caplets of ketchup onto his tray, and Foster brings eight straws, like two of them will screw up opening them, for some reason. Ris brings his car keys and Emily over to the group at the same time and drops each off at the table before b-lining for the ticket machine.

IMO, this transferred version reads super clunkily/awkwardly! There’s a roboticness to the sentence structure and the third isn’t really contributing to much in the narrative. To me, this reads very much like I’ve transferred first person to third haha. Third might give more room in this narrative - it might even switch the way details are presented to increase flow rather than jumping between small slivers of memory to the fictive present.

Here’s an excerpt from Feeding Habits, which is written in third present:

Trust looks like a road trip to Buffalo. This is not Harrison’s idea, nor is it Lonan’s—it’s all Suz. When Harrison eventually comes inside, staticky from the car, awkward, ready to flee, and his mother cooks everyone dinner and they all eat it around the kitchen table like some makeshift family and she serves dessert—her first attempt at baklava—and she cries briefly in her bedroom and exits okay and gathers both her son and Lonan in front of the television, she informs them they must communicate, hands them both envelopes.

And this is that same excerpt transferred to first present:

Trust looks like a road trip to Buffalo. This is not my idea, nor is it Lonan’s—it’s all Suz. When I eventually come inside, staticky from the car, awkward, ready to flee, and my mother cooks us dinner and we all eat it around the kitchen table like some makeshift family and she serves dessert—her first attempt at baklava—and she cries briefly in her bedroom and exits okay and gathers both me and Lonan in front of the television, she informs us we must communicate, hands us both envelopes.

The amount of discomfort I feel reading this ^^ LOL. Similar thing happens here: disjointed flow, robotic sound. What I like about the third person version is that there isn’t particular emphasis on one character (which I needed for this particular scene). To me, that focus shifts to the “I” when we change it to first so we lose a lot of Suz, who is so important in the original.

Let’s think back to my lens metaphor from the video. When you choose a POV for a story, you also place the story’s “lens” at a particular angle/distance. If you “transfer” this, you’re disrupting that placement because while it’s technically in the “same” place, it now must focus through a new framework, which is not what it was intended to do (like a camera now having to focus through a thicket of trees when it’s supposed to only capture a picture of the sky). It’s like choosing acrylic paint as your portrait medium expecting it to do the job of graphite.

It’s absolutely possible to transfer a first narrative to a third, but you’ll likely have to do more than just change the pronouns since point of view is complex and not exactly a situation of copy and paste. That new third narrator will change the way that story is filtered (which will adjust the voice, possibly even structure, and even things as small as the line level of course).

Perhaps I’m being cynical though, so I’d be curious to hear from others who’ve been successful using this transferal technique--what did you learn by doing it? Every time I’ve done this I’ve struggled to understand how it helps, but that could 100% be me so please share your experiences!

TL;DR: if you don’t know how to write a particular POV, the most helpful thing to help you learn is to actually write the POV! Get to know what different POVs offer by intentionally choosing one for the next story (or even paragraph) you write!

Hope this answers your question!

[carabas]

So I’ve just finished reading the Dragon Age Tevinter Nights anthology, and short reaction: enjoyably hit and miss right up until that final extremely thorough direct hit, thank you Patrick Weekes.

Much, much longer version:

1. I don’t know how reasonable it is to try to extrapolate about what’s going to be in the next game based on a random short story collection, but hey, the novels that came out before DAI were about the mage rebellion, the Orlesian civil war, and eluvians, so.

So things I’m now expecting to see in the next game, aside from the Tevinter-Qunari conflict and Solas of course: Nevarran necromancy, Antivan Crows, Wardens who are struggling with decimated numbers after DAO and DAI (would be the perfect time for Razikale and Lusacan to both wake up at once really), and the Lords of Fortune, a never-before-mentioned Rivaini treasure hunting organization which appeared in I think three different stories here. 

Plus a few stories were very much signalling This Specific New Character Will Be Showing Up Again, whether in the games or elsewhere; I'll be shocked if Lucanis the “Demon,” reluctant heir apparent of the Antivan Crows who just got into a cliffhanger conflict with a Tevinter magister, doesn’t have more to do.

2. THERE IS A MAP, there is a great big fantasy map surrounded by nifty little illustrative details to poke at.

There’s a label reading “White Spire,” not in Val Royeaux, but on a mountain beyond the Arlathan Forest. Is that an error or is there really a White Spire mountain? If not an error, has it always been named that or is that new, possibly a new center for the mages after the war, after the original Spire fell? At no point is either Spire mentioned in this book aside from this map.

Lots of astrological sun and moon patterns prominently featured around the edges. Is that one moon chart depicting moon phases or an eclipse? Is it too conspiracy theory of me to be counting the nine dark moons (or spheres? like in that DA4 idol illustration’s seven slots?) on the dragon’s wing? Probably. Or are those spheres a reference to the second moon that never seems to actually be visible, is that missing moon actually deliberate. 

Most of the astrological charts are fairly straightforwardly showing sun/moon phases but what is the crowned figure in the one on the lower right meant to represent? The Maker? What’s going on with the horizontal lines passing through it/behind it? The two moons beneath it - is that an illustration of the moon in two phases or being separated into two (metaphorical moon in that case, presumably), do those horizontal lines also indicate separation, do I need to move on from the astrological depictions here, definitely.

Love the big horseshoe crab sea monster.

3. Patrick Weekes’s first story in the collection: halla shapeshifting! An elf named Strife who I fully expected to be revealed as an agent of Fen’harel mimicking ancient elven names like Sorrow and Pride, though I was wrong - would it be charming or just annoyingly unsubtle if that became a thing among his agents. An ancient forest guardian with lyrium blades who hunts magic in a way that struck me an awful lot like a forest-themed equivalent of a golem, though I may be wildly off base with that one.

4. Nevarran necromancy story. An odd bit of the chant to highlight for a funeral: “And the Maker, clad in the majesty of the sky, set foot to earth, and at His touch all warring ceased.” I continue to squint suspiciously at overlaps between Maker and elven god imagery. Also, evidently mortalitasi believe that when someone dies, an inhuman spirit is pushed out from the Fade into the physical world, and that’s part of the reason behind their housing spirits in bodies - neat! The existence of Curiosity spirits, also neat!

5. Is Ghilan’nain’s horrible body horror place supposed to be spelled Hormak like in the title and previous canon references, or Hormok like throughout the text here? I know this was just a mistake but maybe I’ll use this to say that in-world there’s multiple ways of transliterating Dwarven.

6. Lukas Kristjanson story #1, the one featuring approximately a million minor Inquisition character cameos and a meditation on Solas’s regrets, introduces a character with the phrase “free mage by special commendation,” and I was briefly thrown by that little signal that we are Not In My Worldstate, that the mages aren’t all free by default - except then the story went on to destroy Solas’s fresco so I wound up quite grateful for that little heads up that this isn’t my worldstate actually.

(Unfortunately I can’t get into this guy’s writing style at all, which is a shame because it’s one of the big Solas stories in the book.)

7. There’s a little plot point in the Wigmaker Job story that demonstrates those elven artifacts Solas had us activate all over Thedas do indeed strengthen the Veil - like, he wasn’t lying to us about what those orbs do, that is how they work, here we see a Crow stab one in order to deactivate it, weaken the Veil and unleash a horde of vengeful demons. Nice confirmation.

8. Genitivi is the Randy Dowager. (Possibly. At least, Philliam wrote a scene in which Genitivi alludes to being the Randy Dowager. I do appreciate an unreliable narrator but after a certain point it does make the lore hard to keep straight.)

9. By the time we got to the story about adventurers stealing an incredibly powerful healing amulet just to donate it to a mysterious contact at a makeshift hospital trying to help people where the Qunari-Tevinter war has spilled over, I knew better than to expect any cameos from DAO/DA2 characters. And with the mention of the squire, I was pretty sure the mysterious contact was going to be Vaea, and it was. Still. Anders would approve. And for a moment I was fantasizing that it would turn out to be him, or connected to him. A new mental setting for him and Hawke post-mage-freedom - makeshift hospitals at the edge of the invasion, secretly sponsored by a certain pair of absurdly overpowered, dungeon-crawling, treasure-hunting fugitives.

Yes, my Dragon Age interpreting is still all about Anders even when he’s not remotely present.

10. You know, I really expected the leaders of the Crows to be a bit more ruthlessly competent than this. Someone is setting up a grand demonstration, recreating infamous historical assassinations carried out by the Crows but now with the leaders of the Crows themselves as the victims, incredibly flashy, incredibly clearly sending a message, and yet not one of the characters trying to figure out whodunit is speculating about the meaning behind that message??? the motive in going to all that trouble??? it’s all, hm, perhaps it’s the qunari invaders. hm, this one was posed with a pearl necklace just like the one in the historical murder it’s recreating, i bet the culprit owns a pearl-fishing business! I know they’re assassins not detectives but at least show the professional courtesy of paying attention to the message in the show your fellow assassin is putting on for you, geez.

Anyway. Interesting Crow details: they talked about neutral ground and territories divided between the Crow households here, does that just apply to Antiva or like, does Arainai have claim to all jobs in Ferelden? 

And the line “Teia's back was bare except for a tattoo marking her as a member of House Cantori” puts Zevran’s tattoos in a slightly different light for me - he’s mentioned that some symbols are sacred to the Crows, and logically it follows that having that symbol tattooed on him would indeed mark him as a Crow to other people in the know, but that his tattoos mark him as belonging to House Arainai is a thing that did not hit me from that.

11. An agent of Fen’harel muttering “Felassan” to activate a rune. In memoriam? Charming. I mean it’s a rune that’s intended to kill an entire city, so possibly the more literal slow arrow is meant, but I’m still charmed.

12. PATRICK WEEKES CLOSING OUT THE BOOK BY JUST DUMPING THE CONTINUING DREAD WOLF HUNT PLOT ON US. 

So much. 

An actual giant wolf in the Fade, I’m so happy for tumblr user corseque. 

A character again raising the possibility that Solas is not an ancient elf but rather a young elf who stumbled onto old magic, a theory I thought debunked by Trespasser but here we are considering it again. 

A minor side note that a lot of Kirkwall’s templars went rogue after the explosion - that’s not relevant to the post-DAI plot really, I’m just noting it for my generally-DA2-focused fanfic purposes. 

The possibility that somniari (presumably) can kill even dwarves who don’t dream in their sleep. Somniari in general or did Solas personally step in here?

A ritual involving the red lyrium idol resulting in the phrase “As if we were the blood and the cavern the body through which it flowed” right before the POV character enters the Fade, which is a rather Titan-esque turn of phrase. 

The Dread Wolf again asserting that all creation is in danger and he’s trying to fix that. A biased POV character recognizing that, huh, funny how those spirits around the Dread Wolf which surely must be demons actually look an awful lot like Justice and Valor. 

And Charter’s notes at the end, so direct, not only spelling out the new details on the idol for us (that the figure represents a crowned figure comforting another) but thoroughly hitting us over the head with Solas’s essential characterization in his own words, as if Weekes is still trying to clear up any possible lingering misinterpretations there. (Prideful, hotheaded, foolish. Doing what he must. Sympathetic to elves. Said that he was sorry.)

And the quiet simplicity of Solas coming to this meeting of spies in person because, pause, “...the Inquisition was involved,” written in such a way that you could read all sorts of things into that pause, whatever the Inquisition and the Inquisitor might mean to him.

The book would have been worth reading for this last story alone, what a note to end on.

[wanderingalicewrites]

6, 30, 36, 45

Thanks for asking! I love doing these, they’re so much fun.

6.     Single or multiple POV? 

It varies. For some of my work, multiple POV is the way to go because there are some things you just need to show from other perspectives. A Promise Unfulfilled (my upcoming sequel to The Truth Remains) is such a fic. Others, that tight single-person perspective really helps give more emotion to the work. However, no matter what I do, I rarely, if ever, change POV within a chapter. I find it too jarring both as a writer and a reader, to jump between people’s heads so quickly.

30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

Oooh. Thank you for asking this one. I was hoping someone would! My favorite new idea is another Good Omens fic. 

It’s a fantasy AU where mages rule the world from high, inaccessible towers. They only come down to take mageborn children from their families to raise in the towers. They say the world owes them for saving it, many years ago. Crowley is a mage in one of the towers, who overhears his leaders talking about another world-ending disaster coming. And of a child that will be born with the power to stop it. They plan to take that child and, instead of stopping the disaster, use it to wipe out all non-magical humans. So Crowley runs. And he kidnaps the two boys that could possibly be the child. 

Eleven years later, Aziraphale walks into a small town in the middle of nowhere and begins testing the children for magic. Crowley, desperate to protect his sons (Warlock and Adam) kidnaps the new mage to prevent him from bringing the boys back to his tower - which happens to be the rival of the tower Crowley came from.  What follows is a story of two factions in a mage war, a father who would do anything to protect his sons, and a scholar who uncovers more truth than he bargained for.

36.  Last sentence you wrote

I just actually wrote the first sentence to A Promise Unfulfilled, which is the sequel to The Truth Remains. Here it is:

The echoes were driving him insane. So faint he could almost believe he’d imagined them, irregular, sneaking through the cracks in the walls around his mind. An ever-present reminder that he’d failed.

I’ll let you all guess whose POV it is. ;)

45.  How much world building do you do?

It depends on the story, but I like to do a lot. For my original stuff, where I don’t work off of anyone else’s canon or characters, I do more than a lot. Pages and pages of it. I don’t always write it all down in any coherent way, but I need the world to feel real, like a full living, breathing planet, and not just a cloth thrown over half a frame. Cultural notes. Languages. A full scientific-type explanation for how the magic system works, you name it.  Hell, I could write an entire second book just on the mythology of the nation. (My favorite thing I’ve built is the naming system for one of the races in my novel, where they don’t have titles, but their names indicate who and what they are. It’s ridiculously complex, and I love it.)

For fic, I won’t do quite so much, especially if I’m writing in the canon universe, or close to it. I’ll bring in my own things (the strings of the universe in TTR, what happens to the more powerful demons that fall in SMD etc), but I only bring a few. I’m playing in someone else’s playground after all, and if I’m writing for it, it means its something I love enough to respect the world the original creator made. However, where I go beyond canon (as the sequel to TTR will do), I tend to do nearly as much as I do for my original stuff. And when it’s a complete AU, I can get really carried away. 

That being said, for some fic (like a soulmate AU I keep trying to write and then dropping for other things...) the fanon ideas are so rich already, and I don’t intend to go more than surface-level into the workings of the world, that I don’t need to worldbuild much. And some ideas are just quick one-shots that don’t require it at all (like Caffeine Eden, which happened without any additional worldbuilding whatsoever). 

Thanks for asking! 

(Writer’s Ask Game)

[queerfictionwriter]

A Spoonful of Sugar and The Devil You Know!

HA! Two of my favourites! Clearly you have good taste :P 

So, for The Devil You Know: I wrote this immediately after finishing my degree. I think I started it right after the madness of Christmas died down. And I wrote it as a way to warm-up my long-fic muscles before getting started on my original novel–which I started writing a couple weeks before I wrapped Devil You Know. It was, I think, the first time I’d ever done Multiple POVs in a fic, and I just had a blast with writing a darker version of the boys than I usually did, and in playing with the different perspectives the different characters offered. 

A Spoonful of Sugar: Oh my god. This fic. This fucking fic. I swear to the gods that this thing took months off my lifespan. It ended up significantly longer than intended, the chapters got longer than my usual (I tend to like my chapters at a nice, manageable 2-3k), and the ending remains a point of controversy with readers. They seem to either love it, or hate it. 

When I wrote the final chapter, I was at the end of a frankly insane writing spree–between June 2017, when I started writing it, and the beginning of November (same year), when the fic wrapped, I wrote a whopping 78 000 words, and posted 15 other fics, including a Kinktober collection, before going on to post another 9 fics before 2017 ended–and I just. Really, really needed to end that fic. It was causing me a huge amount of stress, especially since the additional chapters, and the growing chapter lengths, had thrown off my posting schedule, and I knew people were anxious for updates, and to find out how the fic would end. 

I did my best, and I don’t actually know how I could’ve given it a better ending, since I wasn’t willing to write another 30k of it. Regardless, I stand by it. It was the longest fanfic I’d ever written and completed, a fact that is currently still true (though the arranged marriage fic will take its place, if I ever find the stamina to finish that one). 

[inviouswriting]

i think would have asked you to pick all for the writer ask ^^lll but pick the ones you want to answer the most? XD

I think I will do all of them. I was thinking about it myself and feel like it. Thank you for sending this in.

ink: what do you do to “set the mood” when writing?

I start thinking about the setting I want to write before a title or a character pops into mind. It’s why I love one word prompts because they spark off instantly.

pen and paper: do you prefer writing by hand or on a device? why?

Computer. Spell check and punctuation checker. I recently purchased word for my new laptop and it has been so helpful. I rarely write by hand. (I have bad handwriting.)

diary: how many pieces have you written that are just for you or will never see the light of day? 

There are a few stories I have written that are personal and keep to myself. Mostly original stories because not a lot of people read my original works. Maybe some day I’ll post them.

journal: do you ever write just so you can enjoy something to read?

All. The. Time. You think I write for just the fandom? I write for myself because I have stories that no one has read. Others have stories I haven’t read before. I love writing as everything comes out different than it was in my head. Like Fire I just posted. I intended that to be longer, but settled for what I wrote here. Simple. I love re-reading my own stuff because it helps me figure out what and where to take the next drabble or story I write.

novella: do you prefer to write short stories, one-shots, or entire novels?

Short stories and one-shots are easier to manage. I wrote for the fandom of Undertale. I had a really popular story I was writing. I had everything planned out, everything going for it. I had daily reviews and the sort. Then it got too much. It felt like a chore than something I wanted to do. I like shorts, they’re fun to write, and I can complete them within a day or a few minutes of sitting down and starting to write. I have a whole novel in my head I want to write. But I just don’t know how the world will perceive it.

pulitzer: tell about/link a piece where you felt your writing was the best.

This would have to be “Heaven” it is a story I wrote for the Bleach fandom. It was my first major focused graphic smut story... (If anyone has figured I am one of those writers. I can write it without problems) It broke me out of the same ol same ol “Hey I just write pwps.” No I write amazing romantic stories now. 

genre: what genre do you prefer to write in?

smuts... romance. I am pretty good at them. I can also write horror really well if I ever entertain the dark side enough. My reaper~

narrator: what pov do you like writing in best?

Second and third pov. I can’t stand first person. I feel like I am writing a diary. It feels weird.

backstory: how did you come to love writing?

I am a reader. I love books and spent most of my youth in libraries. I have learned to love the fictional works. Fantasy is my favorite genre to read. (I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.) I started writing I think... around 12. Nothing explicit till maybe... 16-18. 

time-lapse: how long have you been writing (as a hobby or for work)? 

Since I can remember doing rp stuff. I think 11-12. It’s been like 20 years... (For those curious I am 31.)

characterization: describe your favorite character(s) you’ve written.

I’ll go by fandom where I’ve improved most

FF14. Aymeric is my favorite. I love writing things for him. Close second and growing is Estinien.

Kamigami no asobi - Hades. I love this guy. I learned I can write softly and beautifully.

Bleach - Ulquiorra. There is something about this particular character. I learned and grew as a writer because of Bleach. Ulquiorra is one of my favorite villains to write. 

Original work - My reaper Kiya. Kiya Shinikami (My black mage) stems into original works I do work on every so often. She is far from my own personality. I broke the mary sue stereotype with her. Whenever I am unsure of how I want to write for a fandom I do toss her in and see if I can make my writing work. How Trust came around. (I do have a story that would feature her in her full tilt self. Just how to write it.)

carnegie: what authors and/or books/stories have inspired you to write or influenced your work?

When I could start taking note of writing. Susan Fletcher. I enjoyed her Dragon’s milk series. (It’s an older children’s novel. but worth reading.) I enjoy authors like Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, and other fictional independent writers I see on sites and here. No one influences my writing because just like drawing. People need to focus on their own natural style of writing. Even if it is messy and uncoordinated.

faulkner: what tropes do you LOVE writing? which ones are your guilty pleasure?

Femme fatals. I have a soft spot for lovers at first sight...

o’connor: what tropes/genres do you dislike writing?

The “Came from a broken life and is obviously god’s gift to the object of desire” There is having a broken life. Then there is building the work and pulling through it. Going to Kiya here. In her story. She is someone who grew up in Elizabeth Bathory’s home. She was killed for her blood. In the after life. She rose to great heights then fell from her position only to ascend to something. She achieved her greatness through countless struggles and didn’t let her murder constrict how she goes through her life now. She was even Bathory’s reaper when it came time to collect.

dickinson: what insecurities do you have about your own writing? what do you think you should improve on?

Whether or not people truly enjoy my work. I have comprehension problems here and there. Punctuation has never been my best, even through school. I just can’t grasp it like others can. And I fear that is a put off for others.

playlist: what kind of music/songs help you write? do you have a writing playlist?

I tend to listen to trance or “mood” songs. Things that set a mood for the area I write in. If it is something longer than drabbles. Trance or instrumental music is best. (Specially for essay writing.)

record: have you written things based off of songs? do you like to?

I’ve written a few things. I do like writing songs with a music theme to them. 

nobel: have you published anything you’ve written? online or irl?

Yes! I am! I am published in an anthology for the pairing Ulquihime. https://www.deviantart.com/157yrs/art/Cross-Your-Heart-398611831 All the proceeds for this anthology are suppose to go to the children’s heart foundation. None of the writers or artists for this anthology make a dime off it. My story is called Ice.

notepad: can you write anywhere or do you have to be in a specific place and mood to write?

Drabbles are spot writing and they’re always on tumblr. I like the blue background as easier to look at than the white of my word.

parchment: how often do you or your personal life influence your writing?

Rarely. I keep my personal life from seeping into my writing. I want to separate myself as much as possible.

dedication: if you were to publish a book or multiple, who would you dedicate the book(s) to?

trope: what’s a pet peeve you have about writing? 

How easy it is. People who draw know how hard it is to perfect their skills. Same with writing. It isn’t “magic in words.” It’s time and dedication to improvement just the same. You don’t just wake up and go “I’m going to write the best thing ever.” without references, a thesaurus and dictionary. 

input: what’s something you hate that people say to you about writing/your writing?

“ It’s like someone else’s.” I kinda find it impersonal that way as I have strived to stand apart from others. I want to be remembered for me. Not remembered as a copy cat of someone else.

critic: what’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received about writing?

Be patient. It seems like it is hard to do, and yes it is. But spending time to write, and focus on it, keeping a steady patient flow of how you write is crucial so you never get burned out.  Also keep prompt blogs and lists saved always. They do help.

mifflin: what do you feel is your strong suit in writing? 

Romance. I’ve been told I have a way with words. I just like to write an emotion I try to convey.

houghton: what’s something you love that people compliment your pieces on?

Enjoying my work. compliments and comments tell me I am doing good. Silence kills writers and artists. 

This was a bit long but I loved taking a moment to write all this as a way to get to know the person behind the blog. I’m pretty easy going and straightforward. 

[roxannepolice]

Long asks anon again, here to offer my opinion on the current wank. Rey as a character is rather blatantly breaking sw story rules and nothing is going to get SFF fans hackles up like rule breakage. This is root of both the MarySue accusations and current wank. Rey has a tragic backstory thats doubling as the only failure she can call her own. But its a) damn near entirely offscreen and b) serves as convenient justification for why shes competent at near everything that comes up.

Reys instantly good at the force because of a convenient force download that to the best of my knowledge only occured in the noncanon KOTOR II and quite frankly cant blame most of the general audience for not getting because without prior knowledge or the novelizations why would they? She has darkness in her but as so far used and touched it consequence free and its almost entirely symbolically externalized on the Kylo (and in SW symbolism is Real in a way it isnt in other narratives) Shes strong in the force because Light rises to meet Dark but to quote the current crop of movies ‘thats not how the force works) or at least thats never how it worked before. Shes the first SW protagonist to go behind enemy lines and come out with both hands in the second movie. For ppl wondering how come Luke and Ani never get labeled MarySues, this is why, they got thier asses handed to them, Rey hasnt. There /is/ something /off/ in Reys story, and ppl pick up on it. if you can make a post (w/ over 1k notes!) about how great it is that a character meant to prop up 7hrs worth of movies has little to no character development to go through, somethings off. If multiple ppl can make posts about how its neat Rey can tap into the darkside (still characterized as evil in ST) consequence free (with some quite frankly stupid justifications, 'shes disciplined’ really? jedi lacked a lot of things thats not one of them) somethings off and again, if the only failure your main heroine has is /entirely retroactive something’s off/. If the story were getting with the is the story most ppl think we are, a 'female empowerment’ (i dont feel particularly empowered by being told I have an equal chance at being a deus ex machina but ok) than well, her story is over and theres no need for IX (hell it could have been over in TFA, most ppl assumed she had accepted her place as the future jedi in that one) and no need for reylo The ST was always gonna deconstruct all that came before it purely by virtue of being a sequel. The tragedy of anakin skywalker is now a farce, the happy ot ending now a tragedy, and the mythopoetic structure shot to shit in the name of serialization and perpetual warfare. this stand true for all the sequel characters including rey and ben. the only question is are we going to get anything out of it? I compare it to home renovation. You can knock out a wall and the walls gone, but new opportunities arise. With Benlo, I’m reasonably confident that there will be at least some attempt to take advantage of the new space. With rey and the resistance kids? not so much. it just feels like they knocked down a blue wall to rebuild it as pink one and at the point it just feels like a waste of time because ive seen this before. Ive seen pure cinnamon roll desert orphan reform jedi order If this was all youre going to do that the fuck was the point? which circles around to my problem with team good guy this go around and That Scene. JJ twisted the story into a pretzel to justify the winners of the last round being the underdogs again and then rian twisted so much further the storys head may as well be up its own ass. And then at the very end he shoots it all to shit and rushes to reassure us its all gonna be okay. He removes the entire point of the underdog trope /the tension that comes from the fact that they might lose/. I mean there wasnt a whole lot of that to begin with already but really? So theres no tension that Reys gonna win so her journey feels frictionless, and theres no question where shes gonna end up so full offense why give a shit? Thats where the whole 'can rey lose a fight?’ thing comes from. Ppl want conflict in her arc to justify its existence and give us a reason why this her story to begin with. if the only character going through growth for all three movies is ben, if the only characters whos fate is up in the air is ben, and if all the tension in the reylo relationship comes from ben, then why is this /reys story/? why not just make it about the character actually driving all the drama and thus, the story?   As a final thought, im going to add that having Kylo be aware and insecure that hes never gonna be as Iconic as Vader was a great story choice, regardless of where ends up. Current Rebels, on the other hand, seems to have not gotten the memo that they are never gonna be as iconic as Original Rebels, and the story itself seems to being trying to sell them to me as being better. Rey is Luke but better, Poe/Finn are Han wo the smuggler grit, and id be lying if i said it didnt piss me off.

&

Long asks anon to kick down ur door again, AND ANOTHER THING. SW is a lotta things. Subtle aint one of them, and St hasnt changed in that regard. If you have to debate it chances are either a) ur arguing counter to the text in which case mor power to you but not really helpful for predictions or intended meaning or b) /it aint there. A bunch of ppl didnt like anidala, but nobody doubted we were supposed to think they were in love by the end of AOTC, bunch of ppl didnt like poes arc, but no one doubts he fucked up by not listening to holdo was the intended take away. Which brings to rey and flaws or lack there of. Were told rey has flaws but she has yet to suffer any real consequences from them with the exception of The Damn Parentage Wank, which again, pulls the double duty of making her hyper competent at everything. Because rey has no consequences for her flaws, from a story function pov there aren’t any. If rey did have a flaw to overcome, we would all agree what it was

Now won’t you all just look at this beautiful, spot on rant which has been lagging in my askbox since the last time Rey’s flaws or lack thereof were the discourse’s focus (November, I believe?) and suddenly became a thing again, courtesy of Tweetgate. I think you really summed up the crux of this debate wonderfully, anon.

I particularly agree with the part about Rey not getting narratively punished for whatever flaws we’d like her to have (great point about returning from behind the enemy lines with both arms still in place), when SW don’t stay away from allowing characters to get “punished” even for otherwise applaudable features - vide Padmé, whose idealism is what Palps manipulates into gaining more power (this is why Padmé will never come off as a Mary Sue or too perfect, btw). But I’ll say even more - Rey doesn’t even get called out on her flaws, except for by Ben, who’s mostly dismissed as a baddie like Palpatine saying Luke was foolish to rely on his friends. Let’s just consider one thing - both Anakin and Luke get called out on their flaws by Yoda (Anakin repeatedly and by lots of other people for that matter) whereas with Rey, the same grumpy-yet-jolly senex pops up from the afterlife to further inform us what a great jedi material she is.

TBH, I have a very cynical theory as to why Rey is being pushed as the main character while it’s difficult to deny that it’s Kylo Ben who does all the plot heavy lifting. I’m pretty sure Ben’s arc was the first one DLF thought out (and the big question is, was it the only one they thought out) and only later on decided to make Rey the main character, which also involved much less spontaneous writing. Mind you, it’s not as if benepemption didn’t have a manufactured subtaste to it, but with Rey’s heroine’s journey stiff structure occasionally substitutes any in-world explanations of her actions (this is why I have to hope renperor has some narrative purpose rather than happening because lovers need to be separated and anti-hero needs to achieve what he wanted in 2nd act). I feel as if whatever potential her character had (and hopefully still has, pending IX) got smothered by layer upon layer of making her likable by everyone, which largely relied on negative characterization: she’s not helpless, she’s not too naive, not cynical, not too emotional, not too emotionless, not morally corruptible, not anything you’ve ever complained about regarding any SW character, not falling for the bad boy, not not not - and in the end it’s kinda difficult to say what Rey is like and while the goal of making her widely likable was achieved, it also made it almost impossible to view her as loveably flawed/annoying like the classic characters. And on top of all this is the matter of making her a nobody just like you!, as DLF appears to say with uncle Sam’s gesture (which also kinda assumes the existence of a Star Wars fan as some uniform entity? because if you identify with her, good for you, I just don’t understand why the franchise assumes I’ll identify with her by the grace of being a SW fan alone), because, as you excellently put it, the message here is that everyone can be chosen by God - which again, it’s not as if the saga ever contradicted this, so why the hell make a case of it? I can’t agree that it’s made into Rey’s flaw, though, imo her low birth only serves to further frame her as an oppressed virtue. And I definitely agree regarding too much of her growth being left off-screen, or before the story ever begins. The problem here isn’t even that it is left off-screen (it’s not as if we had huge insight into any of the pt or ot characters) but rather that her characterizations is left off-screen while being depicted as at least untypical (unique to put it bluntly) for her situation (same goes for Finn). A hopeful, kind person growing up on her on her own in slavery under a nicer name is a rarity and DLF makes a case for it being a rarity - and this sparks up curiosity in her past, as if market pandering to Re/sky wasn’t enough. So from this pov her un-reveal being frustrating isn’t just a case of not wanting to love her or her self only a potentially deeper psychological question getting answered with well, light.

I should add, Ben’s arc feels like the most spontaneous one (though Finn’s may yet be a masterpiece) and he’s the one to admit his fear of not living up to Vader’s legacy, because I think he’s the character serving as the creators’ vessel, more or less like Luke was Lucas’ avatar in ot. In his fear regarding Vader’s legacy one can feel Disney’s fear due to having bought popculture’s holy grail and not being entirely sure what to do with it. On this background, Rey (a literal scavenger of OT’s pieces) and rebels 2.0 repeatedly blessed by Leia come off as what DLF would want to be. And the result is that the character which was supposed to be Vader 2.0 proves the most original and surprising one, whereas “breaths of fresh air” come off as room aromatizers with “fresh” written on them.

And as far as the plot being bended into a pretzel and then disappearing up it’s own ass, well, a part of me is still hoping that taking virtually the same villains as before is a mythological-psychoanalitical metaphor of a nigredo repeating itself until the unconscious gets accepted by the conscious…. but, tbh, as the leaks flow this hope is withering.

[the-nysh]

I find myself unable to think of Bakugou in any way more positive than "dislike", because he reminds me too much of the people who made my life miserable when I was growing up. (Not that it makes him bad; it's just my emotions.) Do you've any advice on how to bend my mind around that? I don't need to LOVE him, just mentally separate "him" and "the people who make grade school suck for me" so I won't irrationally hate him, because I don't LIKE hating characters.

Hi there! I’m glad to see you come forward, especially tosomeone who’s a big fan of him, after happening to see how far you’veventured through my tags already (whoa dedication!) to seek possible answers or further clarity about this,especially if it’s something that’s still bothering you, oraffecting/preventing you from fully enjoying the series. Because of that, I cantell how serious and genuine you feel about this, so I will take this seriouslyas well. 

(Below, 1800+ words)

Another thing is that it’s okay to feel this way, your personal experiences are still valid,and there’s no obligation to force your feelings otherwise, or subject yourselfto content that may be uncomfortable for you. Please continue to take all theprecautions needed (blocking/blacklisting) for an enjoyable and productivefandom experience. But understanding that even if the characters may havecoincidental similarities to our pasts, they are not direct projections of us, the people in our lives, or our realities.Their world is not ours. So this awareness is another good step to have, tobegin seeing the story (and characters) more openly, objectively and closer tohow Hori originally intended.

Since you’re willing to learn more, and as you may have already seenfrom my content here, Bakugou (Kacchan)became my definitive fav character of the series, but not for thoselingering resentments mentioned. The compelling character I see is so much morebeyond that first ch’s established baseline, which was narratively placed and designedto contrast against who he becomes later on. As a means to gauge and appreciatehis growth and the journey of how far he’s changed into becoming a proper,well-rounded, better person and inspirationalhero. The kind of emotional narrativefocus that always gains my interest and priority to see develop. Already, theperson he is now at 215+ chs is not the same as who he was at ch1 (neither ishe the flanderized, fanon stereotype many have been misled or indoctrinated tofirmly believe he is), and he will keepon developing as the story marches on. I am fully on board to witness thathappen. 

The challenge now, is not letting his initial baseline impression(or the feelings from your own separate –but equally valid– experiences, oreven the vitriol from others) stain or cloud that entire slow-burn progressionof the story going forward. Otherwise the important milestones and insightsinto his character that Hori leaves along the way (which can sometimes bedifficult to see from Deku’s limited pov) end up getting obscured, ignored, oroutright rejected from an internalized feeling of ‘hatred’ that tends to blockout anything newly introduced that would challenge that preconceived perceptionof him. However, to mentally reject such change and prevent the valuedimprovement of a growing person (a learning child in his formative years, forinstance), to otherwise keep the status quo static and unmoving, to permanentlystay rooted exactly the same way as thestart…would in fact be a much more toxic/harmful mindset to have, and actuallydefeats the purpose of telling a proper story as well. 

Setbacks to that challenge unfortunately include thewidespread availability of biased mistranslations (even from official sources),poor/oversimplified characterizations from non-canon content(movies/novels/merch, etc) that’s not written directly by Hori, because all thesethings just reinforce and exacerbate the problem of inflating fanon stereotypesand those preconceived notions that people have already solidified in theirminds as true (when they often aren’t). It gets even worse, and ironicallyhypocritical, when those same people start feeling justified they can go out oftheir way to attack others (includingthe author) for how to ‘properly’ enjoy and interpret the series (for beingdifferent or ‘incorrect’ from the perceptions they believe to be right). Butwhat’s happened is they’ve begun to blindly act on feelings multiple levels sofar removed from what actually is (whatexists as presented within canon, vs what they believe in fanon, vs what exists separately that may beplaguing these people’s real lives), that by then, that kind of maladjustedsocial behavior is inexcusable. Stepping back and realizing when things start crossinglines irrationally out of hand, to prevent that kind of behavior from happeningin the first place, (and again, by taking measures to block/blacklist stuff thataggravates or makes you feel uncomfortable), is the much wiser approach toparticipating and enjoying fandom. So that no matter what happens or what otherssay, they can’t impact or ruin what you love about the series.

Which in my case, includes Kacchan’s character. Basedon what Hori has consistently presented in canon, I can conclude and freely admithe’s the only character I can fully trust. Amazing, right? Because he hasabsolutely nothing to hide. Everything he does (not through his harshwords/temperament, but through his genuine actions),is extremely forthright and honest. He does not half-ass things or hide anyother ulterior motives or malicious intent beyond his dedication to become the best hero. And he takes that goal very seriously. Striving for and expectingexcellence from himself (and all themental pressure that self-imposed perfectionism brings) and others. Currently in the manga that includes Deku now too, whomhe willingly goads (showing support in his own way) and checks in on for hisprogress too.

Remember his fights in the sports tournament, how he takesall challengers with equal commitment/opportunity (gender does not matter),provided they give him their best inturn as well, because to do otherwise –to go easy on them or hold back– wouldbe disrespectful and underestimating an opponent. There’s a very just and admirablehonor in that. Remember how he can’tstand anyone looking down on him, which includes how he misinterpreted Deku’sfeelings of admiration for disdain(he could not accurately read Deku’s intentions, and became so perplexed by himthat he assumed the worst: that Deku looked down on him instead). Considering the level of seriousness and effort he alwaysputs forth, to be confronted with the opposite would be personally insulting.

Remember when the villains invited him to join their ranks(because they misread and shallowly judged his character), he stuck to his idealsand outright refused their offer.(Boldly exploding villains in the face~) Risking death over playing it safe andlying to pretend to follow along totheir whims. (How brave and badass is that?!) Kacchan does not lie, cheat theeasy way out, or do things he’s not feeling or doesn’t agree with. Again, honesty. Becoming a villain, a traitor,or betraying those who’ve earned his trust? Absolutely no chance. Afterlearning AM’s secret and finally understanding/rectifying everything that didn’tadd up about Deku, would he go behind their backs by breaking promises? No way.Again, most trustworthy character. 

Rereading the story a second time over, but from his perspective, practically doubled myappreciation and enjoyment of the series. Thinking about how the foundations oftheir society impacted his world views at such a young age, to the very betrayal he must have felt thinking achildhood friend lied to him aboutsomething as important/vital as a quirk. (And if we already know how he feelsabout cheating liars…hmm, faithful loyaltynow feels like a valued trait.) Other factors include his relatable giftedchild syndrome, all the complexes born from that, and for how extremely intelligent,competent, and much more calmly calculating he is than his short temper may lead one to believe. How he was oncea ‘big fish in a small pond’, now thrust into the ocean to compete among evenother bigger fish, with the pressure to both succeed and prove himself…all whilehis previous world views are checked and challenged every step of the way.

For years he’d been valued and praised for only the promisingpotential and primary trait of his strong quirk. (The reinforcement for his badbehavior on the other hand? Not valued with the same proper attention.) Alreadythat’s an unfortunate consequence of their quirk-filled, hero-commodified society. Think of justhow shallow/fake groupies would be, or how annoying and hollow it would feel tohave people cling to him just for that (for talent and skills over his meritsas a person), and just how difficult forming genuine, natural bonds would be… (Becomingself-reliant now becomes another added pressure he has to juggle on his own.) Beforequirks had ever entered the picture and complicated things further, Deku was probablyconsidered the closest friend he had. Until…misunderstandings happened, andthen the only thing he wanted was for Deku to stay away from him. (A misconception is that Kacchan actively soughtDeku out, when it’s actually the opposite: Kacchan only reacted if Dekuencroached on him too closely.) Because he feared how Deku made him feel,forcing him to face his own shortcomings, and address perceptions of reality hedid not want to face. Because for someone he perceived as the weakest, to boldly goagainst that and do what Deku did (help him out of concern/kindness, but thatintent only read as pitying to him),made him feel even below that. And what’slower than the low of the weakest/most useless? Pretty ouch, so stop followingand stay back. Yet Deku just kept on coming back no matter what, for reasons hecouldn’t yet understand. (Deku felt genuine care and admiration for him, whichKacchan hadn’t realized, so gah, dramatic irony.) His changing feelings, correctinghis attitude, and clarifying his relationship to Deku, who continually challengesand defies his very worldview and perception of weakness, brings a whole otherfascinating draw to the series, which would take a whole other essay to fully analyze(but which many other fans have thoroughly done so already). 

Further considerations include his struggles facing other relatablefeelings. How he confronts the pain and weight of experiencing loss, survivor’sguilt, and assessing powerlessness and the inability to save situations beyondhis control. Internalizing self-doubt, hatred, failure, and inferiority…because‘if only he were stronger.’ What Isee is a child overburdened by expectations and responsibilities beyond hisyears…who has to learn to process and overcome many of those same feelings I’vealready gone through and had to come to terms with growing up. (The very reasonhe’s often and endearingly referred to as a ‘son.’) The majority of adults inhis life assumed he was already ‘strong enough’ and ‘fine’ on his own, theyneglected to give him proper mental guidance going forward (AM even admitsthis). And we unfortunately see the tragic consequences of that. But fortunately,things are getting better, and Hori’s story for him still isn’t over yet.   

Overall, what I see is the chance for an excellent,multi-layered, and well-written character to become even better. And that’s why his narrative is so particularly engaging. Doeshe remind me of the kids that once made certain social aspects of grade schoolinsufferable? No, because that’s not who he is; he’s so far removed and beyond them, that they’ve become extras whono longer matter anymore. Instead of lingering on such negatives, it’s insteadthe positive aspects about him that shine through even stronger. The fact heisn’t perfect, but deeply flawed and learning to address his shortcomings in nowmore productive ways. This progression and growth makes him interesting, and combinedwith the many other traits I’ve mentioned above, favored and loved bymany. Although ultimately I can’t change your opinion about him (that’s stillup to you to decide, and it’s ok to still dislike characters), hopefully I’veintroduced new ways of perceiving and appreciating his character for you. Tohelp see some of the positives that Deku always valued in him as a drivingsource of inspiration too: to strive hard despite life’s setbacks, and win. ‘He may be a jerk, but he’s amazing.’

[deputy-sarah-sux]

can i be a psycho and your worst nightmare by asking ALL the writers asks?

You are a demon omg. I love it though this was so much fun to do.Since you didn’t specify fic specifically for some of these questions I’m just gonna write about The Devil Has Come for all of the “in xxx fic” asks.

Answers are below since this is such a long ask :):):)

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction? 12/13 it was between 7th and 8th grade and it was all anime fanfiction

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?Far Cry 5, RDR2, Assassin’s Creed, DC, Marvel, Fallout, Skyrim, Preacher. Far Cry 5 is definitely my favorite to write for though

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.Personally, I prefer OC’s, with OC’s I can build their character, give them a personality and growth. I like shaping the character as the world changes based on their actions

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?Action or romance unless I totally misread that question

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi-chaptered stories, which would it be and why?The Devil Has Come!!! It was my first in the Far Cry fandom and it’s my baby. I love all the characters and the world that I’m building. It’s got action, romance, some twists, it’s exciting

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?If we’re talking things that I’m currently writing and enjoy writing then I guess Bridges only because it’s the same characters as TDHC just in an AU form so I’d survive without it.

7) When is your preferred time to write?Night, 10pm on basically.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?Everywhere really? TV shows, movies, video games, other fics

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?So far my favorite scene that I wrote in TDHC that has been published was either the confrontation with Rook in Chapter 11 or Jacob finding Sarah in the hotel in Chapter 8. They were both really fun to write.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternate ending in mind?Well it hasn’t been ended yet, but there were two possible endings that I was originally considering. I’m not saying much more other than the ending that I went with is gonna hurt me when I eventually get to it.

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?Not after posting but I have amended stories due to criticisms. If I’m a bit worried about a particular scene I’ll share the doc with my best lady @farcryfuckmeup and get her opinion. She usually points out things that aren’t great and I go from there. She’s the closet thing to a beta reader that I have.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?Sarah!!! She’s my best girl and I love her personality and attitude. In terms of canon characters though I’ve been writing some stuff from Arthur Morgan’s pov and that’s been really fun too. I really love playing around with his sense of self and morality.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?I don’t have one yet? We’ll see how the future plays out there. It might be Ethan Seed but I’ve never written stuff for him so I’m not 100% sure.

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.Almost every fic name is from a song. The Devil Has Come is from Blues Saraceno’s “The River”, Icarus is from Bastille’s “Icarus”, and I’m not sure where Bridges is from but I’m 90% sure it was a song. The series that TDHC and it’s connected stories are a part of is called Bottom of the River from Delta Rae’s “Bottom of the River”.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?I use name generators for modern characters or look up names with a specific meaning. If the character is from the past (ie cowboy times or pirate times) I look up names popular in that century. Sarah’s name I got by looking up popular names with religious meanings and Sarah was on the list.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?I came up with the idea for TDHC by playing co-op with @farcryfuckmeup. It was originally supposed to be a crackfic based on the dumbshit we did in-game. Then in my desperation to pretend that the game didn’t end the way it ends I started coming up with ways it could have gone differently and thus my fic was born.

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.I have so many wips! I’ll do a few because I’m in a sharing mood.Fallout 4 WIP: “‘You don’t even use power armor, why did you steal so many?’”RDR2 WIP: “Valentine was a crap town with crap people and even crappier whiskey. It was tiny and smelled like mud and horse shit and something else that she was pretty sure was vomit.”Another RDR2 WIP: “Trouble was the bastard was clingy apparently as he was hot on Arthur’s heel.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?Yes, a few. I got bored or I decided to focus on other things. I do intend to one day finish them but who knows

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?The Devil Has Come!!! I can’t wait to write a sequel and I haven’t even finished the current fic.

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?Sometimes I wish I’d written a follow up to my judge fic Joseph and his Judge. I’m not totally sure if I like how it ended.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?@farcryfuckmeup first and foremost, she’s amazing. I also love gwennolmarie and OutlandishWhalesharks on Archive of Our Own.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?My anime fics from middle school. It’s still posted and I won’t tell you what it’s called but every time I remember it a little part of me dies.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?Music mostly but it sometimes depends on the scene. For certain scenes I need silence but for the most part it’s music music music. I have playlists for all sorts of scene types.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?I love it, idk if I’m any good at it but I do like writing them.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?Yes, I’ve been writing some future parts of TDHC and I have cried a bit writing some of it.

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?The smut scene in Chapter 10 of TDHC, it was the first smut scene I’d ever published so I was really worried about that and kept rewriting it.

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?Bit of both I guess. There is a vague outline in my head but only for like the big events, everything in between is go with the flow shit.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?It’s not going to be an instant hit. When I first started posting works back in the day I was always so upset when I’d check the next day and see only like 12 people had read it.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?Icarus :(   It’s only a baby fic and it’s in a mostly dead fandom but I love it.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?No, I love all the attention my fics get.

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)I’m gonna recommend one myself. Since this is a Far Cry blog I’ll recommend a Far Cry fic: come a little closer by lowtides on AO3Also here’s a Fallout 4 fic that isn’t finished but I absolutely love: RAIDERHEAD by TaraTargaryen

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?No real people no. Thomas is a combination of a few fictional characters though.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?I’ve gotten a few comments of analysis on chapters I’ve posted and honestly I love that so much. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing that someone not only read my fic but sat there and actually thought a lot about it.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?Like I said before I haven’t gotten a lot of criticism, but I guess the harshest for me was when I was discussing a character that I had really started to like and my friend (who I was ranting at about him) asked me to honestly think about what he brings to the table. Like is he actually necessary or just a throwaway character that won’t bring much to the story? I ended up scrapping him and putting a nameless character in his place to fill a few of his scenes.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?I share them with one (1) person and that person is my irl best friend @farcryfuckmeup. Everyone else has to wait until I post stuff I don’t want to spoil any big surprises.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?It’s a chapter very far in the future for a fic I’m sure you can guess but I won’t outright say.“Against his better judgment, he reached out and grabbed the hysteric woman, tightening his grip against her struggling and pulling her into his lap. He wrapped her in a tight hug until she finally began to calm down, humming softly and running his fingers through blood-soaked hair.“

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?I haven’t written a lot of funny stuff. I mostly do angsty. But when I was in middle school a wrote a novel where I spent two paragraphs talking about my MC’s hair color and current outfit and I cackle every time I read it. 70 pages or pure cringe, it’s hilarious.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.@farcryfuckmeup hmu bitch!also you @onl-you

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?Third, every now and then I write in first but idk I just don’t like it much.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?My close friends do

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?Thomas Moore, he’s a lot of fun to write for.

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.I don’t actually have any song fics in the traditional sense. I do however have some fics inspired by songs. I listen to music almost constantly, sometimes a song comes on that gives my fic vibes and I add it to my prompt playlist.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?@/farcryfuckmeup has but I don’t try too hard to keep secrets when she’s around

44) What is the last line you wrote?“John rolled his eyes and finished unbuttoning his shirt.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?This is cliche probably but the readers. I don’t want to leave someone waiting around for the next update forever. I also want to see how things play out myself so my own desire to see the finished product also helps.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?Again, going with TDHC for this. I am writing a sequel currently (I know it’s not done). It’s going to focus on a different character but Sarah will make appearances. I’m also working on a standalone sequel for her but that won’t be posted until the first sequel fic is complete.

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made-up title. What would this story be about?I used a title generator: Hidden Midnight. It’s about a pair of idiots in love, one is a vampire so they can only meet at night and it’s very secretive. The human dies at the end.

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?Forced partnerships. I love it when two characters are forced into a partnership. One of them can’t fucking stand the other but slowly grows to like/love them in secret. If the chill one is in danger the annoyed one freaks the fuck out and does everything they can to get to their partner and afterwards claims they couldn’t care less what happened.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?I don’t remember the name of it but I’m pretty sure it was a Supernatural fic. I think it was Destiel (don’t just middle school me) and a high school AU. I’m not 100% sure. It was either that or a Fairy Tail fic and I like to forget my anime days.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?Angst. I love fluff and smut but in the end, I always go back to angst. It’s so much fun and there are so many ways to do it.

[fucking-trashmouth-blog]

Let’s talk about...Wentworth Tozier.

The subject of Richie’s parents is one I’ve been wanting to tackle for a while since I feel like they’re pretty widely misinterpreted. I’m going to start off with Wentworth Tozier, Richie’s dad. (I’ll be talking about Maggie Tozier, Richie’s mom, at some point in another post.) Wentworth is actually one of my favorite characters to appear in the novel in spite of the fact that he only really appears in one chapter. I have a lot of personal headcanons for him which I would love to write up and share with the world someday, and frankly I’ve thought about RPing him, but right now I’m just going to talk about what we see of him in the canon.

But first, let’s get into what I feel a lot of people get wrong about him. Then fandom has a tendency to A: Turn him into a nice and loving parent, or B: Turn him into a literal ogre who beats his son and/or headcanon children and sends them to school with bruises. The latter is more prevalent in the RP community and the former appears more in the fandom in general, and both are 100% not how Wentworth is shown to be in the novel, which is the only source of canon in which he actually makes an appearance.

First off, Wentworth is definitely an asshole to Richie. (It stands to reason he’s probably an asshole to other people too, but we don’t have any examples of him interacting with anyone but Richie, and Maggie to a small degree). I fully respect that people can interpret the same canon differently (That’s one of the things that makes RP so interesting) but I just don’t see that there’s much room to dispute the nature of Wentworth’s character. However, in spite of the fact that he is so obviously horrible to Richie, a lot of people seem to come away with the impression that he’s a good parent/person. I really, really do not understand how this happens, and honestly it’s kind of frustrating to me to see people talking about what a swell guy he is and failing to recognize his abuse of Richie. So I’m just going to break down why Wentworth is definitely not a swell guy real quick by taking a look at what would appear to be a typical morning at the Tozier family breakfast table.

Exhibit #1 of Wentworth Definitely Not Being A Swell Guy

Wentworth repeatedly degrades his son by insulting his interests and calling him stupid.

Exhibit #2 of Wentworth Definitely Not Being A Swell Guy

Wentworth takes advantage of his son by essentially tricking him into agreeing to do more work than he necessarily wanted to do and then proceeds to rip him off by offering to pay him less money for that work than what he paid a couple of kids that weren’t even his own. (And continues to degrade him by calling him stupid/criticizing his interests)

Exhibit #3 of Wentworth Definitely Not Being A Swell Guy

Wentworth’s smug and seemingly apathetic behaviors towards/treatment of his son. He’s now holding Richie’s trip to the movies hostage until Richie agrees to do more chores than he originally wanted to do for less money than he pays somebody else’s kids on a regular basis for doing that same job - to top it off, he’s repeatedly degraded Richie, and appears to be enjoying it. Furthermore - ‘a predatory shark’? Need I say more? Does that look like the kind of description that would be given to a parent who loves their kid?

So hopefully you’re wondering (I know I do) how the flip someone can look at all that and come away thinking Wentworth is a great parent. Honestly, I feel like a lot of people probably get off when they see the bits in the novel talking about how Richie feels about his parents. Richie is shown to love his parents and doesn’t appear to think there’s anything wrong with how his father treats him...

...but at the end of the day, Richie is just a child. His father’s treatment of him causes him to become uncomfortable (Definitely not something you should be making your 11-year-old feel, especially not on purpose) at multiple points during their conversation...

...but Richie doesn’t ever stop to think ‘hey, maybe that shouldn’t be happening, maybe my dad shouldn’t be doing that to me’, because he’s just a kid. And like most kids, he loves his parents and believes he is supposed to love his parents, and that his parents are going to love and take care of him. He’s not going to stop to consider that maybe his father is deliberately mistreating him, especially not at age 11 - and especially because Wentworth’s mistreatment of Richie is subtle (Too subtle for most children Richie’s age to pick up on, but not so subtle where it doesn’t have major repercussions on him - I could go on for hours about how Wentworth’s treatment of Richie negatively impacts him as a person, but that’s really beside the point of this post, so I’ll save it for another time) and intermingled with what could be perceived, especially by a kid who assumes that his parents have his best interests heart, as harmless banter. Richie is, in short, an unreliable narrator when it comes to his parents - which, when you get down to it, is pretty God damn common for sufferers of abuse.

Getting back to Wentworth - it’s made clear to us, or should be clear to us even in the span of a single chapter that he’s meant to treat his son horribly, and that he practices a very particular and damaging type of psychological abuse on him. That being said, for the love of God, please don’t confuse the type of abuse going on here. There is nothing in the couple of scenes Richie’s parents are shown in to suggest that they would be physically abusive towards Richie - but more importantly, Richie never reflects on suffering any physical abuse at the hands of his parents, which puts him at an obvious contrast with how, say Beverly, is shown to reflect on her father, who is physically abusive towards her.

If Richie was intended to be suffering physical abuse from his parents (I’m not saying it’s impossible to reason them giving him the occasional slap on the wrist if he does something they don’t like, I’m talking about serious, recurring physical abuse, like the kind Beverly’s dad or Henry’s dad are shown to inflict on their children, and other people’s children in the case of Butch) he absolutely would reflect on it at some point. Even if he was totally excusing his parents’ behavior or didn’t see anything especially wrong with it, he would still reflect on it. All of the other characters in the novel who are implied to be suffering physical abuse - such as Beverly - do, and Richie has just as much if not more POV than some of those characters. (Also, I’m not suggesting that one kind of abuse is worse than another - just that physical and psychological abuse are very different and that you shouldn’t senselessly blur the line between them when there is indication of one and no indication whatsoever of the other.)

Now, I understand if you’re running strictly with the canon of the movie that Richie’s dad is essentially a blank page. (We don’t even know for a fact that he’s named Wentworth.) That being said, we know that more than not of the kids had their book relationships with their parents adapted basically as they appear on the page. (With the exception of Mike, who was given a completely different backstory and whose character was changed dramatically, so I wouldn’t really factor him into the equation, Ben, whose relationship with his mother and presumably deceased father is not touched on in the movie, and Stan, whose relationship with his father was changed to be more negative, but we easily get the least on Stan’s parents of any of the Losers’ parents in the novel anyway.) Point being, if Bill’s relationship with his parents, Beverly’s relationship with her dad, Eddie’s relationship with his mom, and Henry’s relationship with his dad were all adapted in a manner very similar to how they appear in the book, it stands to reason that the same was probably intended for Richie and Ben (Both of whom are depicted in the movie very similarly to how they are depicted in the book) and their parents.

That being said, I’m not out to condemn people who don’t run with Richie’s parents being exactly like they are in the book - ultimately, we don’t see his parents in the movie, so you do have some freedom to choose. But how they appear in the book is definitely something that should be carefully considered, especially seeing as how Richie’s character’s is depicted so similarly in the movie and book, and we know his parents must have played a large role in making him the way he is. (In short, it’s not very plausible that you would get basically the same Richie in the movie as in the book if you gave him totally different parents, or a totally different relationship with/perspective on those parents.)

Also, Finn Wolfhard has stated that Richie’s father is a dentist (Wentworth is a dentist in the novel) meaning that the movie is at least to some degree acknowledging the canon of the book regarding Richie’s parents. Richie also never makes any negative statements about his parents in the movie, which implies his feelings on them could easily be similar to what they are in the book. Neither his father nor mother accompany him to Stanley’s Bar Mitzvah (The woman sitting next to Richie who a lot of people assume is his mom is actually Stanley’s mom) which implies a neglectful approach to parenting similar to what’s shown from them in the book. Point being, even though we never actually see them, there’s a lot of evidence to support Richie’s parents being at least similar to how they are portrayed in the book. That doesn’t mean you can’t do something different with them (You have that right, you’d have that right even if you were writing exclusively from the book - you always have the right to deviate from canon where you want, that’s the beauty of RP) but for the love of God, please at least consider what’s written in the book, especially since it’s the only source of canon we even really have for Richie’s parents, before doing anything drastic.

Again, Richie in the movie is portrayed very similarly to how he is portrayed in the book - obviously, he’s going to be like that for reasons largely to do with his upbringing and life experiences, and his parents are inevitably going to be a huge part of that. All parents play a dramatic role in shaping their children, especially parents with behaviors as particular as Richie’s are shown to have - you can’t even begin to logically reason him being the kid he is in the movie if you give him parents that don’t at least behave similarly to the way his parents behave in the book, because he is so alike in both, and we know they must have had a lot to do with making him the way he is. Please, please consider that before you turn Wentworth into a good and loving father or a literal ogre slinging punches at his son, whether or not you decide to run with exactly what’s on the page.

Anyhoo, thanks for reading! Hopefully you found this post to be informative. Like I said, I’ll be making one about Maggie sometime in the near future, so stay tuned for that if you enjoyed this one!

[nothingneverforever]

The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

I remember sitting through the first episode of this series with my mom, thinking that it wasn't the best option for us to commit to, worrying that it would be a waste of our precious mother-daughter bonding time. The pacing of the first/second episode was too.. American, the emotional expressions too unsubtle, leaving little room for my audience participation, the acting too stilted, and the actors behaving too much like stage thespians .. and because I'd chosen the series after seeing rave reviews online, I remember sitting through the first episode thinking, huh, this is the shit people been losing their minds over?

And then.... suddenly, quickly, it became one of the most deeply affecting and disturbing shows I'd experienced, and thus eventually, one of my favourites. I'm deciding to write this now, about 9 months after I finished the series, because I've just started on The Haunting of Bly Manor, which is described as a "follow-up" series to Hill House. The narratives are not connected, but much of the cast and crew are the same, which is nice because I was so so so so so impressed with the acting of these specific returning actors in Hill House, and after reading a little more into the production process, I've been allowed to understand that the crew is fucking epic and genius as fuck too. I love this series!!!!!

The title of a Youtube video that I love a great deal on this series, by one of my absolute favourite film analysis video essayists, Ladyknightthebrave, is: Stretching Genre - A Haunting of Hill House Video Essay. And maybe this is what I'll talk about first - genre. I've never particularly cared for 'horror' because I'd rather be able to engage with themes and tropes I can relate to in my own life, stories that resemble my own world from my own ever-romantic perspectives. I've always wanted to delve into horror, to appreciate the elaborately designed surfaces as well as be affected in whatever ways by any depth of conversation or concept, but I don't think I've ever been able to achieve any of this. I've tried to enjoy both superficially (i.e. entertainment value) and also more real-ly many horror productions, but always left with a deep sense of meh.  Crimson Peak (which I reviewed here back in 2016) might be the closest I've come to engaging genuinely with anything from this broad genre, but even then I think I liked it more for its kitsch value, its beautiful beautiful beautiful soundtrack, than for the genre-specific parts of the narrative. But I mean, everything makes a film right? The soundtrack and the costumes and the acting are the horror elements in themselves too, I know.

Even then, a lot of the simple reactions I've read for Hill House are ones of surprise, where audiences went in not realizing that a series with the words The Haunting of.. in its title would leave them feeling utterly heartbroken, distraught (sad), emotionally-invested as it were any other drama series. In that Ladyknightthebrave video I mentioned, at multiple points in her essay she says, simply, "hey,... I'm sad" when referencing a particular scene or conversation. And that was, too, my overwhelming reaction to the whole series.... I'm sad!!!!!

Perhaps I should describe the plot a little first.. so the Cranes are a family of 7, mother and father and 5 lovely children: in descending order of age, they are Steve, Shirley, Theo, and twins Luke and Eleanor (Nelly). Here is the official synopsis:

This modern reimagining of the Shirley Jackson novel follows siblings who, as children, grew up in what would go on to become the most famous haunted house in the country.. Now adults, they are forced back together in the face of tragedy and must finally confront the ghosts of their past. Some of those ghosts still lurk in their minds, while others may actually be stalking the shadows of Hill House.

And, from wikipedia, here are some of the notable reviews of the series:

Corrine Corrodus of The Telegraph graded the series with a 5/5 rating, calling it "the most complex and complete horror series of its time." Brian Tallerico of RogerEbert.com gave unanimous praise to the Netflix adaptation, describing it as "essential viewing," and stated that "[the show] contains some of the most unforgettable horror imagery in film or television in years." David Griffin of IGN gave the series a rating of 9.5 out of 10, calling it "a superb and terrifying family drama," and Paul Tassi of Forbes described it as "absolutely fantastic" and stated that "it may actually be Netflix's best original show ever."

Horror author Stephen King, who holds considerable admiration for Jackson's novel, tweeted about the series, "I don't usually care for this kind of revisionism, but this is great. Close to a work of genius, really. I think Shirley Jackson would approve, but who knows for sure."

Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino, in interview with The Jerusalem Post said, "My favorite Netflix series, with no competition, is The Haunting of Hill House."

Due to obvious reasons I give zero fucks about what either King or Tarantino might have to say about, uhh, anything on this planet, but YASSSS RETWEET everything above!!! It is essential viewing!!! Indeed the most complex and complete series of its time!!! Unforgettable imagery!!!

Okie so now on to my own original thots... 

My main learning was this: Horror, i.e. the presence of something horrific, for it's characters in the show/story, isn't about feeling frightened or them 'losing their minds' or being driven to questioning their own perceptions of reality or anything like what we've seen in the last 7 decades or so of seeing the genre develop and evolve. In Mike Flanagan's beautiful ode to Shirley Jackson's incredible story, we come to understand that horror is only ever about genuine trauma. I guess, like I talked about earlier, I never really understood what horror's raison d'etre was at all.. like... why?? What is the greater, lasting impact of having audiences shaking in their boots? What is intended by eliciting a gasp or a scream? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS?!

I asked, and I've been asking and asking for years, and finally Hill House provided: Horror is, in fact, about unspeakable pain.. Pain that has no outlet in a world that will only ever be skeptical of such experiences... it's about being genuinely haunted in such a way that you can never dream of stability in your life ever again; it's about developing into a closed-off, maladjusted adult, knowing that your experiences of early life cannot be related to anyone else's in any way, not even that of your siblings. I remember taking away this lesson very early on in the series, possibly midway through the second episode. Because the siblings (Steve, Shirley, Theo, Luke, Nelly) are all utterly flawed and thus 'real' characters, we're able to quickly why they are the ways they are. (Important note: the siblings are not flawed in ways that make them unlikable at all, or unrelatable, or downright unpleasant to watch - this is a flaw that other productions have definitely fallen prey to before in the name of achieving that 'realness' however Hill House judges things so perfectly that we are endeared to their flaws and never put off by them.) Their disparate experiences with Hill House growing up, their subsequent very personal meaning-making journeys (some looking more like denial, some resulting in substance dependency), their different levels of having access to the 'truths' about what went on in that cursed home, all of this meant that the siblings ended up, where we see them in 'current day', being broken adults with a lot of misplaced anger, unprocessed trauma, and resentment toward one another. It is the aloneness in all their experiences that is the true horror, and the horrors were a very personal, existential kind and so there was no room for mutual bonding and sharing until it was too late, until their babiest of baby sisters had lost herself to the pressures calling her ‘home’.

And suddenly, I realised: this is the true evil. Ghosts don't ruin lives by doing a good epic scare here and there or by turning your irises white by revealing some fucking scary shit: ghosts are seriously... so... fucking... evil because they ruin your whole entire lives..!!! Horrifying realities take the form of many different things, even if they all originate from one main source. The Crane siblings, as children, had to deal at once with their mother being predisposed to falling victim to the spirits of the house due to, as hinted, mental health conditions of her own, while also dealing with differently confusing aspects of a house and a home that taunted them by making them feel unsafe and secure all at once. Now I say all this from an.. artistic appreciation pov, because I am myself unconvinced that the 'supernatural' or anything of a spiritual realm influences our daily lives. Which is all the more significant, right? That a ""skeptic"" like myself (although I'm not an insensitive and stubborn over-rationalizing dumb male like Steve is in the show) could suddenly realise the tragic effects on many many vulnerable souls of a world that clutching on to its medical models and objective scientific truths.

From the series' wiki page: The Haunting of Hill House received critical acclaim, particularly for its acting, directing, and production values, with many calling it an "effective ghost story."

So yea... finally I know what that means. Finally I know what effect a ghost story can and should have. Finally I understand the potential of the genre!!! Sigh there is literally SO much I could say about how and why this is the best series in the world but maybe I'll stop here for now..? There would be no end if I were to discuss everything because it's one of those series that has 'easter eggs', in the form of hidden ghosts (visual) lurking in the dark or specific lines that foreshadow something else later on, but I've never really cared much to 'reveal' these things so yea, go forth and enjoy this best show everrrrr :-)

(For example there is a lot of discussion online about how each of the 5 siblings represent the 5 different stages of grief à la Kübler-Ross, with the eldest Steve being in complete denial that there was ever any supernatural presence to explain their experience, Shirley reacting with sheer anger to all around her, Theo bargaining her way through her own internal conflicts, Luke being surrounded by swirling depression fueling his drug dependency, and Nell eventually accepting the so-called inevitable, etc etc etc but this kinda analysis is a little too lowbrow and heavy-handed for me to get into so yea haha)

There is a specific dialogue that I want to reference however on my way out: when Nell's suicide/death is revealed early in the series, Shirley has the difficult talk with her young children about it. And these 2 simple lines umm basically summarize the entire plot:

Shirley's son: Why did she die? Shirley: I don't know.. I'm just so sad that she did

Everyone watching the show would relate to that immediately but also that sentiment rings more and more and more true as the episodes come to reveal what a painfully innocent and giving soul Nell was... :(

So sad !!!!!

----------

Edit: copying below my mom’s initial thoughts after I forced her to read this post hehe, because her words describe a lot of what I think and feel too, and because I want to remember our discussion and reflection forever!

Each of us -  lives scarred at some time – in some private way – religion drowns it, cosmetises – but horror – is the Couch of reflection, reliving and something of a letting it out.  Feeling again the horror/fear/anxiety/pain/aloneness of that  real trauma – but in an shared room, even if only shared with an older, saner, wiser, learning you.