#whatever that's worth sdlkfj

[engagemythrusters]

clone grouper wrecker

[meridiansdominoes]

I just finished Chapter 40 of, "Dominoes" and I am in LOVE!!!! This story is so good and the chapter was well worth the wait! All of the works by you that I've read are better than some actual books I've read and I love getting a notification from you. I can't wait for whatever you post next, whether it be "Dominoes", "Esprit de Corps", or something else! Keep up the fantastic work!

Oh my gosh. a;lskdjfa;sdlkfj. that is the best compliment you could have given me eeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! This made me so happy!!!

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

do not read moby dick. it is 1% plot, 99% obtuse metaphors. there's a sentence the length of a page about the color white. it's a billion pages long and yet can't find time for any female characters. melville apparently believes whales are fish. the core premise is fundamentally absurd: who swears vengeance against *a whale*? it was panned by contemporary critics when it was published and They Were Right. stop letting english majors insist it's a classic.

hey for some reason it seems like tumblr is only letting me send asks to you anonymously????? no idea why but this is emily (aka siderumincaelo), and i also sent you the ask with the anti-recommendation for moby dick. 

(emily sdlkfj sorry idek what tumblr is doing at this point. i just checked my settings and tho “allow anonymous messages” is on there’s no “and also don’t allow anything else in2??? skdfj)

omg can you believe i already read that one? I certainly don’t because I honest to go remember nothing about it. The only memory I hold is that of a man walking.... towards... a bar? a tavern? a fishery? whatever. you’re right. is probably not worth remembering

[ghoulangerlee]

the first taste of love (oh bittersweet) ; malex

i posted this on ao3, but i am nothing if not predictable so i’m posting a tumblr version too! 

basically uhh i wrote a roswell new mexico fic, oh no. im very nervous and very anxious bc there’s so many good writers in the fandom and i am. me. but like, i saw that post, with the still from the episode tonight and my brain went okay sure here’s this. 

its definitely AU because yknow. obviously what i think could happen isn’t whats gonna happen but sdlkfj. ANYWAY. title comes from strawberry wine by deana carter bc tbh michael guerin definitely listens to country music’s greatest women artists 

also yes i know the whole alien thing isnt like anyone but said aliens thing to tell maria but yknow. guilt. being in on something someone else isnt in on. blah blah

=========

He doesn't know how long they’ve been sitting there, just talking, but Alex isn't going to complain, not when it's the first time in ten years that they've been able to have this.

And it's comfortable and nice and Michael's leg is warm where it's pressed against his, his posture open and welcoming and Alex can't help but lean into it, watching, as if hanging onto every word—and he is, hanging onto everything Michael's saying, unsure of when they'll get this chance again, with everything going on.

He's so caught up in everything, in how right all of this feels that he doesn't realize Michael's stopped talking, that he's staring at him with this horribly vulnerable look on his face, something morphing into determination and then, then —

Michael's lips are soft against his, soft and dry and chapped at the corners where Michael constantly darts his tongue out against the skin when he's nervous or annoyed and Alex’s breath catches, his eyes open wide and Michael just pushes forward, firmer, hand coming up to cup the side of Alex’s jaw.

He inhales, sharp through his nose and then, then he relaxes, his hand gripping the center of Michael's button up shirt, holding on tight as the kiss deepens, as Michael presses into his side, other hand warm against his thigh, warm through his jeans.

A noise leaves Alex’s throat, something soft and pained and desperate all wrapped together as he kisses back, gives as good as he can, feeling something warm and heavy in his chest at the needy sound Michael makes.

At once, it all comes rushing back and Alex pulls away, jerks out of Michael’s reach, panting and flushed and wishing for once he could be selfish.

“Guerin, we can't do this,” he says, wishing his voice didn't waver as obvious as it did, wishing to be anywhere but here right now. “ I can't do this to Maria. She doesn't deserve this.”

Michael's face does something weird then, a look crosses it—half pained, half ashamed, and he pulls his cowboy hat off, runs his fingers through his hair, Alex’s eyes tracking where his fingers get caught up in the curls. “Yeah well, no worries. She's not really in the picture right now.”

Alex frowns, feels something protective bubble up in his chest, “Just because she's not here—”

“ No , Alex,” Michael says, cutting him off. “She and I didn't last. Y’know. We're on an indefinite break.”

“So what happened to Maria being something easy ,” Alex can't help but ask, the words twisted with grief and pain, “If you two can't last, is there even any hope—” for us , he doesn't finish, but Michael goes rigid beside him and once again Alex is hit with the stupid realization that he's reactive , that he doesn't think before he speaks.

Michael stands up, putting distance between the two of them, hat held tightly in his left hand as he paces in front of Alex. “Look, I fucked up, okay? I fucked up big time, I just. Didn't tell her about the big green alien thing and then she found Rosa and well, now she knows.” His voice is quick, not quite panicky but not all calm either, “She’s pissed at me, at Liz, probably at you too for keeping her in the dark the whole time. And well, lying is sort of a relationship deal breaker in the grand scheme of things.”

Part of him hurts for Michael, for Maria, bit the quiet vindictive part of him just whispers if I can't be happy neither can he , but he pushes that away, quietly berates himself for even thinking that and inhales deeply. “Give it time,” he says instead. “Maria might come around. I. We still haven't quite talked since everything but I can put in a good word for you. Bring up dear old dad’s plot to destroy all aliens, you included, help you save face.”

And even as he offers to help Michael fix his and Maria’s relationship, he feels tired all of a sudden, feels like he should be selfish in this situation but, but—

“No, no,” Michael says, shaking his head hard enough to make his curls bounce. “She's made it very clear she can't trust me or Liz right now. That we're on her shitlist and it's looking like we might not get off of it anytime soon.” He breathes in deep, steels himself, “And I’m coming to realize that kissing you was a mistake,” he continues, “Just. You don't deserve that from me, I’d be doing the same chicken shitted shit I said you were doing to me.”

Alex watches as he deflates a little, his shoulders go limp, and he stands too, taking a step closer, “Look, Guerin,” he pauses, “ Michael ,” he corrects, “I get it, okay? You just started something with Maria, now you're not together and it hurts , and the physical thing between us? It's always been easy. Something to fall back on when words or whatever hasn't been enough.” He rubs his hands on his jeans before crossing his arms against his chest, posture going stiff, “I said some things I shouldn't have and this is not like me stringing you on all those years.” He swallows, “You're hurting, and I get that. Sometimes, it's easier to mask the hurt with something physical than try to parse through it mentally”

Michael looks up at him, raw and open, incredulous, “You really are a self-sacrificing piece of shit, aren't you?” He asks, something akin to wonder in his voice.

The deprecating laugh escapes before he can stop it, “Who told you that?”

Michael snorts, rubbing his right hand across his face in annoyance, “Liz briefly mentioned it when she said you'd reenlisted, said you didn't know when to quit. That you'd rather see those around you thrive even if it meant you had to suffer.” He presses his lips together, “That's why you just left after that night, wasn't it? In the shed. If you didn't leave, what, your dad would have come after me again? Hassling a teenage boy for sleeping with his son?”

Alex swallows, feels dread creeping up along with the urge to leave, but he tilts his chin up, stares across at Michael, “I did it to keep you safe.” He says, voice more steady that he expected. “And as much as it hurt, I'd do it again, if it meant he'd never lay another hand on you.”

A sour, pinched look flits across his face, “And what, you'd rather be in his shadow than have your own happiness?”

Alex squeezes his arms tighter against his chest, “I don't like seeing the people I care about hurt,” he says, and he suddenly feels vulnerable again, like a teenager, “I knew if I'd enlisted he’d leave you alone. If I distanced myself from you, he wouldn't have a reason to go after you. And after Caufield, I’m glad I did, all those years ago.” He breathes in shakily, “And yeah, I know, it's selfish, I should have asked you. I should have talked to you before making those sorts of decisions for you because it hurts , it's what makes our relationship hard and painful for you. I know .”

He goes quiet for a few moments, then, “After the way he ran my mother off, after doing that, I couldn't let him destroy you too, Michael. That's absolutely no excuse for anything I did, because I did fuck up, I fucked you up, I fucked us up, everything. But god ,I’d rather have fucked any chance of us up than lose you permanently.”

Alex rubs his arm across his face, feeling his eyes well with tears, “So yeah, I’m a self-sacrificing piece of shit but if it keeps people alive then I’ll continue to do it.”

Michael stands there, across from him and Alex feels a pull of something, sees the way Michael straightens his shoulders, makes himself look taller, and then he's closing the space between them, arms wrapping around Alex’s shoulders.

“You are a goddamn piece of work, Manes,” Michael says, voice half muffled by his shirt. “When I said loving you was hard, I didn't mean for you to fucking lie to your dad about cutting me out of your life. I didn't mean that we couldn't still be friends , that you had to sell yourself back to the air force.” he says the words so fiercely that Alex believes them.

“I want you and Maria to be happy, I want you to be happy, and that makes me selfish. There's part of me that wants to convince you to be with me, but the other part of me wants you and Maria to have a chance because. If she makes you happy? Then I want that for you.” Alex says, voice shaky as his hands rest on Michael's sides, gripping his shirt. “As much as I want to just kiss you and forget about all of this, I know we can't. We can't do that. If you want to be with Maria. If you want a chance at happiness.”

Michael squeezes him tighter, and then he's pressing their foreheads together, “But what do you want?”

Alex blinks at Michael, eyes wet and red rimmed, “I want you to be safe. That's why I enlisted again, so I can take down whatever this is my dad's planning. I can't do it from the outside. I have to be inside.”

Michael makes an unhappy noise, “Stop. Think about yourself for once. You said you wanted to convince me to be with you? So do it, Manes. Show me you're even worth my time. Show me that what we had in highschool wasn't just a fling for you.” He challenges, “I know you want what's best for me, but maybe. Hell maybe I don't know what's best for me yet. Maybe I still want you. Maybe I still want an us .”

“I don't want to force you,” Alex says, fierce, “I recognize I fucked up and I know you were with Maria because you like her and it doesn't hurt to be with her. I'm not going to ruin what little chance you have left.”

“We both fucked up, Alex,” Michael says, “We both did, and it's unfair that I blamed it all on you. We were teenagers who didn't know shit about each other except that we had feelings.” He looks into Alex's eyes, “I’d like to think that we're adults now and we can handle this more. Maturely. We can sit down, figure out shit out. And hell, maybe in the future we'll be at a place where we can be us again.” He slowly withdraws from the hug, dragging his thumb gently down Alex’s cheek, aching inside at the way Alex closes his eyes and leans into it. “Right now, we need to focus. We need to talk about all this. We need to shut your dad’s operation down. Somehow help Max and Rosa and Maria.”

When he pulls his thumb away from Alex's face, Alex opens his eyes slowly, staring at him with a sad sort of look on his face, “And if you and Maria somehow fix the mess between you, I don't want you to give up on that for me. Okay?”

Michael sighs noisily out of his nose, “I really need you to stop thinking about me and other people and please act selfish this once .” He says, “This isn't about Maria and me, this is about you and me, and the two of us reconciling , because I had a fucking good time today before I forgot to tamp down the unbridled lust I feel for you, and I want more of that. If we can be friends first, I’d just. I'd really like that.”

Alex inhales softly, nods somewhat tentatively, fighting back the urge to argue with Michael, stamps down on the voice telling him that they can never be friends because Alex feels too big for him. “Okay. Okay. You're right Guerin. I need this. We need this.”

“Just two guys talking about the past trauma they've inflicted on each other and the imminent doom of one's dad on an entire alien race,” Michael says, “Seems simple enough.”

And then, Alex pulls himself together, takes a few relaxing breaths, “We've also got to somehow bring Max back to life,” he adds dryly.

“Nope. No way, that's all on Liz. I'm an engineer not a biologist.” Michael says, finally placing his hat on his head again. “I’ll help where I can but she's taking point on that.”

Alex snorts quietly, and the tension eases out of the air, as he sits back down on the log, Michael joining him again, leaning back to stare up at the sky, their thighs pressed together.

“We're gonna figure this out, Alex,” Michael says into the evening sky, and though Alex is unsure of what exactly this is, he believes him.

[ryouverua]

Foreplay

Mm yes sassy!Shuichi is good for the soul

So Miu literally went to everyone to bring them together, huh? I, uh, honestly didn’t expect to have a big group meet-up the night before the ‘big day’.

Oh hey, look who finally decided to show his face again! I’ve been wondering what you were up to!

want to share with the class, Kaito

also please don’t tease me with a Kokichi & Kaito friendship and not deliver

Miu is totally trumping up what she made I DON’T BELIEVE YOU THIS IS JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF ESCAPISM

except instead of Atua we have gone in the opposite direction

with technology

BUT FINE PLAY COY SEE IF I CARE it’s not like the cast itself has the benefit of SDR2 behind them - though with that said tsumugi totally referenced the first case last chapter trial by accident. Honestly, it makes me wonder how far back the events of other games are? I mean, Monokuma is around, and they recognized him in the prologue, so is it possible that the events of the previous games have become part of historical lore or something?

Anyway, that’s stuff to think about another time. Kinda getting distracted...

Someone is on a power trip.

YEAH UH THAT’S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION ACTUALLY...

HEY EXCUSE YOU MIU you can’t call us masochistic if we’re not doing this consensually!!!

it’s time to flip the chessboard

Oh, yikes, damn. This is that side of Kokichi that I haven’t liked. Not him acting like an evil supreme leader - he did a bit of that in the FTEs I’ve done so far - but there’s always something... I don’t know, a lot crueller and more vicious in how he talks to Miu? I mean, not that she’s the perfect person herself, but she doesn’t deserve this. And yeah yeah, I know there are probably arguments about the weird sado-masochistic thing they both seem to have going on but... no, I don’t think that’s ever going to sit well with me. Miu’s got some serious problems going on, and Kokichi’s not playing into them, he’s actively using them against her. And again, I don’t mind him doing antagonistic things, not at all! But everything, outside of this, has seemed so much cleverer.

Then again, after the display from the night before I guess I should start expecting outright cruel and scary things from him. 8′D 

HOLY ART STYLE CHANGE WOW THIS IS REALLY GOOD

despite all the epic Clamp-esque ‘long leg’ syndrome going on I... really like how everyone looks in this...

Ah, I’m annoyed that I don’t recognize the style though. This is definitely a reference that most people would immediately get if they were on the other side of the ocean.

WOW K1-b0 that’s cold considering you may be the closest person to her!!! I think I’m starting to let my ship!feelings cloud my observations, yikes...

Aaaw, Tsumugi. 8′\ What would Gonta and the others do without your sporadic support, honestly.

Aaaaw sad mushrooms :( is this a new sprite? also doesn’t junko have one like this too

OKAY KOKICHI ENOUGH GEEZ

Man, something went terribly, terribly wrong in your past, huh.

YUP I KNEW IT

Zoolander references? In my Danganronpa?

THE FILES ARE INSIDE THE COMPUTER

Tsumugi seriously how old are you?????

Wait we’re seriously doing this right now??? W.... We aren’t, are we? I thought this would end up like the others (watching everyone’s videos/Necronomicon) - big build-up, and then a last-minute detour! I even came up with the name ‘Motives, interrupted’ and everything...

DAMN that was fast. But hey, more energetic Himiko!

Uh.... what? She told Kokichi of all people? I... didn’t think they talked outside of trials/them insulting each other...

Aren’t you literally the one who was complaining about how heavy the Dog Statue was last chapter.............

Well, I mean, I guess having more intel was worth it to him, maybe? I’m guessing he had gotten wind of it before actually moving the chairs, because they weren’t there earlier and the Monokuma scene happened the night before - and he clearly knew some of what she was working on. So has he been spying on her then, or just talking more than I realized?

Poor Gonta, getting used as the audience surrogate. 8′D I guess I shouldn’t be surprised computers aren’t your strong suit, huh...

WHELP... THAT’S..... WORRYING......

Yeah!!! I mean, they’re literally going to be all defenceless! All it takes is for someone to fake logging in and boom, another body!

I DON’T KNOW MIU, ARE YOU? YOU WERE KINDA FREAKING ME OUT AFTER THAT FLASHBACK LIGHT BUT ALSO IN AN INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS WAY...

omg it totally is based on the NeoWorld program, isn’t it

...???? What are you thinking about. Does it have to do with you specifically, or is it related to why you guys are all here. VR in VR??? Maybe???

I know I should be against Gonta’s ‘wild man/fish out of water’ stereotype being played up but it’s a relief to see him not worrying about everyone/beating himself up for once this chapter, so... :(

SAY THE NAME YOU COWARD

MIU IF MONOKUMA IS LETTING YOU FUCK AROUND WITH HIS PROGRAM WITH THE NAME ‘KILLING GAME SIMULATOR’ WHY WOULD YOU THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR EVEN A MINUTE

YEAH NO FUCKING KIDDING

Man, I do feel bad for her in moments like this though. She really, really wants that validation from everyone, but just doesn’t seem to understand how to get it in a way that doesn’t piss everyone off and/or objectify herself, or -

.......................................... yeah

Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to 8/

B-But what if people improvise and use a non-traditional method, or just do something that doesn’t require weapons? Or just kill them in the real world while they’re ‘asleep’? D: There are way too many ways for this to go wrong sdlkfj I mean it’s obviously just because we’re close to the deadline that I’m worried (and watch the game let things proceed without anything happening only for someone to wind up dead after their initial foray into the VR world) but still...

Shuichi’s getting bolder :D

omfg Monokuma can you at least try to be subtle about working with Kokichi - he’s at least trying to.... a bit.... like, barely passably...

And that’s all it took to win him over 8/ Seriously, it’s kind of scary how easily Kokichi can manipulate him.

TSUMUGI IS ME, SCREAMING AT EVERYONE TO NOT GO INTO THE 99% OBVIOUS DEATH TRAP

There’s that talk about the inner voice again... we’re definitely going to hear about that in the future. Programming? But based on what? That’s the real question. I’m still toying with that whole ‘Nanami’ role potential and his talk of hope last chapter...

damn it Kaito stop following your man’s curiosity and start looking into a woman’s sober second thought

MAKI. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOU. YOU ARE THE SOBER SECOND THOUGHT.

I know you’re on that slow path of falling for Kaito but why??? Why can’t you be the voice of reason??? Are you only going there to support him???

I mean, that’s a better reason than we got from Maki but walking into an obvious trap just to find out how it springs is still not the smartest choice, Sweetcheeks!!!

still me

and also make you the prime suspect for whatever murder inevitably happens

Man, poor Tsumugi. I feel like she knows where this is going and just does not have the charisma outside of cosplay to keep it from happening. Better luck next time, girl 8′\

Ugh, the lies like this ^ are so obviously transparent and it makes Kokichi so much fun to have around and watch. I feel like he’s making a subtle dig at Kaito’s shounen!protagonist attitude - oh hey, and for that matter, it could be a reference to him punching Shuichi way back in chapter 2 and how Shuichi’s developed since then. 

Can you imagine him saying that with the face he showed the night he was talking to Monokuma because the thought is cracking me up tbh.

There is no way this isn’t going to come into play later. 8′\ I guess the question is how? Man, what if it screws with someone’s head ala Mikan...

OH MAN ARE WE GOING TO GET A BODYSWAP THAT WOULD BE AMAZING

I really didn’t need keep this part but god do I find nervous!Himiko incredibly adorable... she’s trying so hard, guys. 8′/ She’s trying so hard to keep it together. And she’s doing it by herself, this time! 

DAMN IT STOP BULLYING GONTA I’M LIKE, 99% SURE HE’S GOING TO DIE HE DOESN’T DESERVE ANY OF THIS

Whelp. Um. I didn’t think we were actually going to go through this. Man, are we going to end up back on the island then? Is Usami going to be there? Nanami? Komaeda???? omfg wouldn’t that be a disaster he and Kokichi together would be terrifying

......

TERUTERU AND MIU WOULD BE TERRIFYING yikES