#what role made you say ‘hey I know that guy’ when you saw him somewhere else

[benschwartzcinematicuniverse]

A quick poll for reasons. What role do you feel Ben is most known for? I’m listing what search engines say he’s known for, but what do you think?

[scrollonso]

Magnetic — Lawhan

pspspsps @ellearts

Jack never thought yearning could feel this intense, let alone directed at someone he’d been friends with for years. This was Liam, after all.

Liam Lawson, his closest friend on the track, his fiercest — favourite — competitor. They'd grown up racing side by side, knowing each other’s moves almost as well as their own, sharing stories of victories and defeats. Jack had always looked up to him, admired the way Liam raced with such confidence, as if the whole world was nothing but open road, his to conquer. But somewhere along the way, something had changed. That admiration had turned into something deeper, something that tugged at Jack every time he saw Liam’s familiar smile or heard his laugh ring out in the garage.

Jack found himself watching Liam more and more, captivated by the easy way he carried himself, the way he leaned into his teammates with that same grin that had once been Jack’s to share. Racing alongside him had once been enough, but now, watching Liam soar through challenges, standing out among everyone in the VCARB paddock, left Jack feeling hollow. His gaze lingered, too often and too long, trailing after Liam as he moved through the crowd, every laugh, every smile lighting up something in Jack’s chest that felt both thrilling and painful.

And the ache — God, it was impossible to ignore. Watching Liam laugh with others was like a punch to the gut, every casual joke or fleeting touch sparking something sharp and possessive inside Jack. He wanted to be the one making Liam laugh, the one who knew him better than anyone else. But that role was slipping away, and he couldn’t stand it.

One evening, the two were sitting in the Alpine garage after a long day of practice. Liam was scrolling through his phone, laughing at a message from someone on his team, oblivious to Jack's quiet stare. Jack could barely focus, his mind swirling with thoughts he couldn’t quite voice. The silence stretched on until he couldn’t take it anymore.

"Liam," Jack said, his voice a bit rougher than he intended. Liam looked up, still smiling, but Jack couldn’t match it. "D’you ever think about…what we’d be like on the same team again? You know, spending more time together?"

Liam shrugged, his expression casual. "Yeah, sometimes," he said. "But, hey, you’re doing amazing with Alpine. You’re gonna make headlines before you know it." He nudged Jack playfully, but Jack barely felt it — he barely felt anything besides want when it came to Liam nowadays.

"Right," Jack muttered, glancing away. He tried to summon a smile, but it felt strained. "I just miss it, I guess — when it was just us, you know? Feels like we barely have time these days."

Liam laughed, the sound light and carefree. "C’mon, Jack, it’s not like I’m going anywhere! Besides, you could always hang with the vcarb guys if you’re that lonely." He grinned, but Jack’s chest tightened.

"Maybe I don’t want to hang with the vcarb guys," Jack replied, more bluntly than he meant. Liam’s smile faltered, a hint of surprise flickering in his eyes.

"Then what do you want, Jack?" he asked, voice softening, as if he could sense there was more to it. Jack’s heart thudded, panic rising as he realized just how close he was to admitting everything.

"I… I don’t know," Jack stammered, forcing a laugh that sounded hollow. "Forget it. It’s stupid."

But Liam didn’t look away, his gaze steady, questioning. "You sure about that?" he asked, and for a moment, Jack swore he saw something else there — an invitation, a spark that made him want to say everything.

But Jack only nodded, swallowing the words that threatened to spill out. "Yeah," he whispered, looking down. "It’s nothing."

The realization settled in gradually — Jack wanted more than friendship, more than the shared laughs and camaraderie they’d had for years. It was a slow, quiet ache that grew every time he saw Liam, lurking beneath his every smile, every laugh, every word. It was impossible to shake off, coming alive whenever Jack caught Liam chatting animatedly with his teammates, or throwing effortless grins to rival drivers in the paddock. But as bad as that longing felt, it was nothing compared to the jealousy that flared up when Liam was with his own team.

The vcarb team was tight-knit, practically family, with inside jokes and unspoken bonds that Jack felt he could never understand. They celebrated the small things — like one point or making it to Q2 — together, rallied around Liam and Yuki, Jack couldn't help but feel like an outsider looking in, even with his own success at Alpine. They had something Jack wanted — a closeness with Liam that went beyond the race and the track. He'd see them congratulate him after every race, hands on his shoulders, laughter and cheers surrounding him. It cut Jack deeper than he wanted to admit, this constant reminder that Liam belonged somewhere he couldn’t reach, no matter how much he tried to hide the ache.

Race days were the worst. Watching Liam out there, pushing himself, his eyes blazing with focus and determination — Jack knew that feeling well, but this was different. His heart twisted as he watched Liam celebrate with his team, every cheer, every pat on the back a reminder of his own isolation. Whether Liam won or lost didn’t matter; his team celebrated him anyway, lifting him up, and Jack stood there alone, forced to bury his feelings beneath a layer of polite applause and tight smiles. He should have been happy for him — really, of course he was — but there was an undeniable urge to be the one beside him, sharing those highs, claiming even a small piece of Liam’s world as his own. Claiming a small piece of Liam as his own.

Jack wanted to be the one Liam looked for after every race, someone he’d come to with that lopsided grin, laughing or venting or sharing a quiet moment, win or lose. Instead, all he got were fleeting glances and polite messages, the kind you’d exchange with any friend in the paddock. Jack knew he had no right to feel this way — Liam was his own person, and Jack’s feelings were his problem. But knowing that didn’t make the ache go away.

One evening after a particularly grueling race — though, aren't they all grueling? — Jack found Liam alone in the garage, resting against a stack of tires, looking out at the darkening track. There was a quiet calm in the air, and Jack knew he couldn’t let this moment slip by, not without saying something.

"Hey, Li,” Jack called softly. Liam glanced over, eyebrows raised in surprise, but then his face lit up with that easy smile that made Jack’s heart skip a beat.

“Hey! Wild race, right?” Liam chuckled, the excitement still lingering in his voice. But Jack couldn’t bring himself to join in; instead, he swallowed and took a breath, feeling the weight of his feelings pressing down harder than ever.

“Yeah… crazy,” Jack muttered, his gaze dropping to the floor. He hesitated, his heart pounding, but finally, he looked back up, locking onto Liam’s curious gaze. “Sometimes I… I wish things were different.”

Liam’s smile faded as he tilted his head, brows knitting together. “Different how?”

Jack’s mouth went dry. He hadn’t planned on saying this, but he felt like he couldn’t hold back any longer. “I just… I see you with your team, and you’re all so close, like a family. And I…” His voice wavered, but Liam stayed silent, watching him intently. “I want to be closer, Liam. To you. Not just as a friend, but… more than that.”

The air between them grew thick with the weight of Jack’s admission. Liam’s eyes widened in surprise, and Jack could feel his pulse hammering, wondering if he’d gone too far. But Liam didn’t pull away — instead, he seemed to be searching Jack’s face, taking in the vulnerability there.

“Jack…” Liam’s voice was barely above a whisper, tinged with uncertainty. “I had no idea.”

Jack tried to force a casual smile, as if he hadn’t just laid himself bare, but the ache in his chest was almost unbearable. “It’s okay, really. You don’t have to say anything. I just… I needed you to know. Because watching from a distance… it’s been harder than I thought it’d be.”

Liam didn’t answer right away, just kept looking at Jack, his expression softening. After a long pause, he reached out, placing a hand gently on Jack’s shoulder. “You mean more to me than just a friend, Jack,” he murmured, his voice barely audible. And then, almost as if testing the waters, Liam leaned forward, his breath warm against Jack’s skin.

Jack’s heart stuttered, and before he could second-guess himself, he closed the gap, his lips pressing softly to Liam’s. It was tentative, a brush of warmth that held every ounce of his longing, every unspoken word he hadn’t dared to say.

For a heartbeat, Liam seemed frozen, but then he responded, his hand sliding up to cup Jack’s face, deepening the kiss with a sweetness that sent a shiver down Jack’s spine. In that moment, the world around them melted away — all the noise, the crowds, the endless races — none of it mattered. It was just them, finally stepping beyond the unspoken, finally giving in to everything they’d both been holding back.

When they finally pulled back, breathless, Liam’s hand lingered against Jack’s cheek, his eyes soft and a little dazed. “Maybe… we don’t have to watch from a distance anymore.”

Jack’s lips curved into a smile, hope lighting up in his chest as he tightened his grip on Liam’s hand. “I’d like that.”

[peppertaemint]

I've always felt that the jikookers vs. taemin feud kinda mirrored the taekookers vs. jimin situation, but at a much smaller scale, of course. I agree with you that they feel threatened by taemin's indisputable stature as an artist, as it disrupts the narrative that bts is always the first and always the best at everything, and also because jimin looks up to him and is influenced by him (as if it wasn't obvious enough before, now we got the confirmation from the man himself, thank you very much). This reminds me of taekookers getting mad at jimin for standing out so much as a performer. I mean, he obviously does, that's why they're always all up in his business instead of focusing on their favs' "records". Also, they hate the fact that they're close because they read taemin as queer, which makes them think that they actually might have kissed, once, at a party (just once). Kookie's friends look straight enough to them, so they can stay. A bit homophobic if you ask me. I'm sure that if we saw taemin around jimin publicly more often, he would've been already promoted to the same The Other Woman�� role jimin occupies for tkks. And besides all that, I could write an essay on why jimin's friendships have always been under scrutiny because many people can't take the fact that he has more going on in his life besides being the members' cheerleader and jungkook's devoted wife, but that's a different topic.

Thank you for this Ask, Anon. You raised a lot of salient points here. The one I'm gonna pick up on is Taemin's perceived queerness, with emphasis on perceived.

There is an odd thing that happens with non-fans. They mostly think he's gay, that it's obvious, and they don't really like their favourite having a connection to him. While, within the fandom community, shawols cannot decide if they think he's gay. If you were to ask around, you'd get quite a few different opinions.

I find it interesting because the "outside" community has very specific and strong opinions of him. I connected with a Korean-American lady in her 50s a while ago and talked about all things Kpop. She wasn't a shawol. One of the first things she said, unprompted, was, oh Taemin, he's gay but can never come out, what a shame/challenge for him (I was chatting from a 2Min account, just for context). I was a little floored at how readily she shared this fully-formed opinion.

It seems the world outside shawols have already made up their minds about him, in one way or another. I think about when he was young and had that beautiful long hair, but his frame was still so slight that the gender confusion for an onlooker was understandable. It must have been hard to have the world decide that you were sitting somewhere on the trans spectrum. And to know everyone thinks they know you're gay.

There is a zero percent chance of him not feeling these things, and he's certainly done both reactionary hetero-leaning performances and queer performances. Pretty Boy is and Internet War are the first that come to mind. And it's worth remembering that sometime in the early 2010s, there was a Korean news report about homosexuality in kpop idols, and he and Jonghyun were named in it (as a couple, I think 💀).

I don't love the song Pretty Boy, but the choreography with its military steps and these lyrics have a lot to say.

Hey you, tough guy / Relax your hardened shoulders / Hey feel the way I move

I’m like a speeding train / You’ll be surprised / Look at that poor girl, I hope you notice / She says “you’re a guy so…” like a habit / Why is being sensitive and prepared the opposite of being a man?

Cause I do it I do it for you / I won’t pretend to be innocent like a puppet / Everyone talks so easily

I may always seem pretty, I may always seem good / I may seem nice, I may seem soft / But that’s all a part of your imagination that’s over my head / (Pretty Boy)

[justgayrevolutionnaries]

Hello guys guess what I (finally) saw Les Mis on the west end today so I need somewhere to rant about it bear with me here

(under the cut because 1- spoilers and 2- I have no idea how long this is going to be)

First of all just a small disclaimer : I am not in any part of this trying to be like "A was better than B in this role " or whatever it's just me being happy I got to see this show :)

Just hearing the opening live for the first time was amazing. Same goes for the whole show obv but this opening is the best

Also I did not know there were changing backgrounds this was so cool I really liked them

And the whole stage was super impressive I didn't expect everything to be that big it was amazing

Valjean was so good ??? I really liked his acting and his voice is actually incredible. Especially for Bring him home, I think it was one of my favorite versions of this song he has a really intense voice

Javert was incredible as well- I believe it was Stewart Clarke ? Point is he was a very good Javert I love him in this role

Anyway both of them have amazing voices so the Confrontation was very intense (or maybe it's just because it was the first time I saw it live ig)

Moving on but um. Lucie jones ??? Fantine ??? Like ma'am. Please. Your voice.

Literally I dreamed a dream ? So good. Made me tear up. If I am being honest I never cared for this song a lot but I can't even begin to explain how much I loved it here

Anyway she was definitely one of my favorite highlights of the show like yes queen

Also the factory scene was pretty great because I could finally know what was being said in the background- shoutout to whoever says "you bitch" to Fantine because I was not ready for that and the delivery was perfect

MADAME THÉNARDIER WAS AMAZING THANK YOU

Just- her mocking Cosette and her husband, the way she screams "COSETTE" when Thénardier messes up the name... Everything about her was so enjoyable I loved her

+ gotta love Thenardier just for the way he was sleeping and his head shot up when Valjean mentionned money for the first time

Also for being so funny in that moment after look down when Javert just comes to arrest them and he does his whole "may I go" act and then goes back to the policeman previously holding him and places the baton back on his neck I loved that for him

Anyway moving on to my favorite characters ever- tho actually I wasn't expecting to enjoy the beginning of the show that much but hey I did

Okay so Marius right ? If I'm being honest I had doubts about him, mostly because Ropert tripolino looked so much like a grantaire to me so I had a hard time picturing him as Marius but he was great

Very good at playing the part of the lovedstruck dumbass. Which is all it takes for me to like a Marius actually

No but also I loved his voice, maybe a bit shaky but it didn't strike me and I think it fit marius's character well so + it mixes really well with those of both Cosette and Eponine so that was cool, tho sometimes he was a bit drowned out by both of their voices but still.

The Gavroche actor was incredibly cute and funny I loved him so much- his mimicking javert was everything he is the best and must be protected at all cost

I'm doing this in no specific order so might come back to other things but I have said it before and will say it again... I don't like that little dance in one day more. It just kind of kills the vibe in my opinion because I find the dance rather funny but yeah

Anyway just because I have been dying to talk about him and he's all I've been thinking about for the past hours- shoutout to whoever was playing Grantaire. Like really. It was a cover so not sure who it was since I failed to look at the cast list (I wanna say ollie wray but I might be wrong) but oh my god. Sir. He ate it.

Everything about him was so great- I'll come back to him later just to pretend I'm keeping an order here (spoiler : I am not) but his part in Red and Black was incredibly funny it was just grantaire messing around and annoying Enjolras and I love that for him

Talking about Enjolras he was really good actually. I always have a moment of confusion when I see a brunette Enjolras just because I am not used to it but once I could actually focus on him he was very enjoyable

HAVE I TALKED ABOUT EPONINE YET BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT EPONINE

She is. Really bitter I want to say. Like my brain isn't braining rn so I don't have words but she was rather sarcastic in a sad way. If that even makes sense. Anyway this attitude was great I loved everything about her

The whole part with Marius asking her for Cosette's adress just showed this and I really liked their dynamic it was exactly how I always imagined them to interact. Like Eponine obviously not being excited by this and Marius just blatantly missing every single cue

Point is I loved both of them

Okay just before I move on to the barricade's part which is all I wanna talk about, I am in love with this Cosette. That's it that's the post but lulu-mae has a beautiful voice, which again mixes really well with that of marius

Oh and also Marius trying to find a way to climb over the fence will never not be funny he's such an idiot I love him

Cue Eponine basically having to protect him while dealing with her own existential crisis- queen

ANYWAY

Actually moving on because this is getting long and I suck at ordering those notes but still

Firstly. Eponine singing On my own. I am actually not okay. She has such an amazing voice oml ??? 10/10 song I love her so much she made me tear up it was the best thing ever

So the barricade scenes

This is actually mostly me ranting about Grantaire and Gavroche because I literally missed a solid part of the barricade moment due to focusing on them

In my defense they were incredibly cute okay ? It's just the way Grantaire looks out for Gavroche and cares for him

And I love them so much I swear

Just two things before I just go on a full rant about them

1- A little fall of rain ?? Just Nathania Ong slaying all over again this was the saddest thing I heard her voice is just the best here

On the over hand this was one of the moment when Roberts voice seemed very much drowned out by hers but. She still carried the song. So it was very cool.

2- drink with me was so sad as well. Mostly because of grantaire. Again. Also I think it's always sad but seeing it live just made it worse- anyway it's just the way grantaire comes to feuilly's face to sing his verse. The way enjolras hugs him very tight when he's done. The way grantaire just pushes him away angrily and goes to stand in a corner. I am actually not okay about this

Also when Grantaire goes stand in a corner Gavroche comes to hug him from behind and he turns around to hug him back and that's basically where I lost it. Everyone was hugging all around but I was just looking at them because they were so cute okay bye

Sidenote but I still don't understand why the musical made Courfeyrac so angry and agressive- like the whole thing with Javert is kinda weird to me ? "Kill the bastard" is a good moment still just his cheering thing or whatever when valjean comes back- I am sorry but Courfeyrac would not do that like ever

Okay I already talked about bring him home and it slayed so yup

And anyway after this point I basically stopped looking at the barricade because I was just watching grantaire and gav so bear with me

During the attack grantaire just seats on a bench and does absolutely nothing. Just stares hopelessly into the void.

But after that there is the whole thing with ammunition and Gavroche volunteering

And okay first of all I really liked how everyone just zooms toward the barricade like Gavroche no- except then Gavroche is on the other side of the barricade right ? And nobody is moving. And you just have grantaire who gets up and starts walking slowly toward the barricade and it's absolutely agonizing

And after that Gavroche throws some ammunition to the guys and there is a short moment of victory- and then he gets shot and everything goes down from there

Enjolras gives his body to grantaire who is just below saying nothing. And it's utterly devastating.

Anyway after that Grantaire just kneels in a corner next to Gavroche's body

But when Marius gets shot him and Enjolras hug over marius's body and that was so sad

When Enjolras gets shot Grantaire just rushes on top of the barricade and starts screaming at the soldiers. And gets shot as well. And I did not know this happened I did not know Grantaire died after Enjolras I was not ready for this moment it destroyed me in so many ways

Anyway after that I basically zoned out because of what had just happened but what I can say is uh

I still don't like how javert's suicide is staged like it just looked to me like he was running backwards and the background was moving so. Yeah

Empty chairs at empty tables was- not the best. I liked the actor for all other moments but I just felt like his voice was kind of weak in this song ? It just didn't move me the way it usually does idk

Tho I still like how the women just laid candles down on the floor and then les amis arrive and pick them up

The Thénardier slaying again at the wedding <33

"I should have married your sister" always a highlight of the show actually

THE FINALE WAS SO GOOD

Lucie Jones again like love the voice love everything thank you queen

And just that moments when everything stops before the final "tomorrow comes" yeah that was that

Okay that's it that's the post if you read it down to here you're crazy and I love you

But still big shoutout to Fantine Eponine and Grantaire because those three really were the best parts of the show for me

[twenty-words-or-less]

Top 5 Best Films of 2021

I promised a top 5 of 2021 and here it is. Severely delayed, I know, but I’ve been trying to do other things with life and the days just got away from me. There will also be a More button on this status but I’d really appreciate if you guys gave the entire post a shot and not just scroll away. Cheers! Anyway, here it is, with the general theme of “yeah, this surprised me too!”:

5. Another Round (Druk)

Very dry, darkly funny Danish drama which manages to condemn as well as celebrate the drinking culture that seems to have a grip on North Europe as a whole, which is kind of interesting. Fun fact: the original title roughly translates to ‘Binge-Drinking’, something as blunt as the film itself.

4. Malignant

The kind of film made by someone who said “hey, my last film made you $1bn, can I have some money to do the thing I REALLY want to do?”. Basically an hour and a half of batshittery improved by a very divisive twist that [REDACTED] and I enjoyed very much.

3. The Suicide Squad

The one film I definitely saw coming with regards to it being on here. It’s exactly what one would expect from a James Gunn movie: dark comedy, people literally having a blast, a soundtrack consisting of songs one hasn’t heard since they were a teenager (looking at you, “Whistle For The Choir”). Can also confirm that it is just as good seeing it sober and in IMAX as it is seeing it drunk in standard definition.

2. West Side Story

Absolutely thrilled to have this here considering my attitude towards this film since seeing the teaser in May. Everyone fits into their characters as comfortably as if they are regular performers, and it manages to define itself as being an adaptation without caving into the ’61 adap and being its own beast. Highlight is 100% Rita Moreno singing “Somewhere”, which absolutely destroyed me. It would probably be number 1 were it not for the guy who played Tony, whose name I don’t want to say in case he materialises in my living room and starts mauling “Something’s Coming” in front of me or some shit.

And now, the honourable mentions (which were surprisingly hard to pick) in no particular order:

In the Heights: Did slightly drag over the last half hour or so, and I cared more about the secondary romance than the main one. However, god DAMN is the songwriting tight, the camerawork fluid and coherent, and the one-two of “Paciencia y Fe” and “Alabanza”… whoof.

Annette: It, uh, sure is a film. I don’t know how to talk about it without sounding like I’m giving it backhanded compliments.

Candyman: A beautifully shot gem which, like 2018’s Halloween, took a risk in being a belated sequel. However, it also has a solid cast, the themes were well-executed, and the shadow puppetry was devastating. The cut to the scene with the girls in the bathroom was hilarious, too.

Encanto: Lin-Manuel Miranda’s had a fucking good year, hasn’t he?

And finally, top of the list…

1. Dune

I enjoyed it a LOT more than I expected, and not reading the book beforehand didn’t hinder it. Great cast, great music, and meme-able, which is always a good thing. The pacing was also even and the visuals beautiful. Very Villeneuve, very much what I imagine reading the book is like. And between this and Call Me By Your Name (which I watched when ill with Covid), I’ve come to the conclusion that watching something in which Timothée Chalamet has a prominent role is stressful because PLEASE can somebody feed him? Please?? Thanks.

And that concludes the top 5 of 2021. I’m not doing a full-on bottom 5 because I’m exhausted by negativity, but I’ll just do a summary here: Halloween Kills exists, Spider-Man: No Way Home & The Matrix Resurrections were let-downs, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions was annoying and unnecessary, and Old made me want to punch a fucking wall.

Thanks for reading!

~Mikey

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

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PART 14

You knocked twice on the door, pretended you didn’t have a set of keys in your pocket just to be polite. Otis tugged it open, a smile up at you when you put on your brave face.

“Merry Christmas!” You greeted with a smile.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N!” He bolted back into the living room before you could even step inside, Jason rounded the corner and smiled when you set down a bag with the gifts he’d picked out for them.

“Hey,” he said, eyes over his shoulder quickly to see the three of them on the sofa.

You were early, you knew it. He said 11am and it was barely 10:45, he pressed a kiss to your lips in a quick greeting, Daisy stuck her head out to wave at you. “Hi Y/N! Come look at my presents!”

“Hi, I will, one second!” You called out.

Eyes back to Jason, he offered a nervous smile. “I’m early, I know.”

“It’s fine.”

You quirked a brow, was it? He looked thrown off and you probably should have felt more guilty. They’d had their morning together, mom, dad, kids, God knows they’ll be awake before 7am, he’d laughed over FaceTime the night before.

You shrugged out of your jacket, gave him an amused look when he hung it on a hook.

“You okay?”

“Yes, yeah--fine.”

Daisy laughed from the other room, you heard her voice when Otis asked where’s the gift with the green bow on top?

You didn’t believe him but decided you didn’t need to, not now, at least. He took you by the hand and led you into the living room, Daisy immediately smiled up at you.

“Look at my board game!”

“Oh boy,” you smiled down at her, watching as she ripped at the plastic that still hugged the box. “We’ll have to have a game night soon.”

Olivia laughed at that, hair pulled back and a slight smile when you looked over at her.

“Hey, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” she smiled. “Welcome to the war zone,” she motioned around the living room. Wrapping paper shredded to pieces, toys and games opened and forgotten, excitement sprinkled around the room as music floated overhead. Otis had disappeared somewhere, Jason sat back on the floor and watched as Daisy took out the directions of the game.

Okay, slightly less awkward than last time. Again, an observer, perched on the farthest cushion when she leaned forward. “Daisy, why don’t you let dad read you the directions?”

What was your role? You’d hung out with Daisy only a week earlier and when Otis showed up the next morning after his sleepover, he sat in the kitchen and told both of you all about the new Nintendo switch his friend had: I hope Santa brings me that for Christmas.

“Are these for us?” Otis was in the foyer, tugging the bag forward with a grin on his face.

“Sure are,” you turned to see him. Things Jason had picked out and said they wanted or would like, a sticker slapped on to say they were from you. Bribing with toys now, not fudgsicles. You’d upgraded. But you froze, “why don’t you ask your mom and dad if you can open them?”

You looked over your shoulder at Jason on the floor, a quick glance at Olivia who seemed thrown off by your subtle acknowledgement: you didn’t make the rules.

“Yeah,” Olivia said quickly. “Of course. What do you guys say to Y/N for getting you Christmas gifts? That’s very sweet of her.”

“Thanks Y/N,” Otis said, finding the one with his name on it. Daisy hopped to her feet, raced over to take her gift and then looked at you with a toothy grin. “Yeah thanks Y/N!”

“Whoa a laser tag set?” He pulled the big box out from the wrapping paper, tossed it aside when Olivia laughed at the state of the room. “This is awesome!”

“Daisy, is that a karaoke set?” Jason watched as she peeled the paper away, a screech of excitement when she saw the microphone.

You smiled when she beamed up at you. “You’re gonna be winning Grammys before we know it!”

She was distracted now, Jason smiled up at you when she brought it to Olivia, mom help me open it!

“Do you want coffee?” He asked quietly, stood and made his way to the kitchen. It felt more like code for come with me than an actual offer.

You stood, following behind as you stepped over a lego set and a skateboard.

He smiled over his shoulder once he turned the corner, voice quiet when their laughter wafted in from the other room. “The girl who was once terrified to be in the same room as my ex now shows up early.”

You rolled your eyes, even though he was right. Okay, sure, fine. Maybe you figured she’d be there and maybe you figured it would be interesting to see her again. A little petty? Sure.

“Traffic wasn’t as bad as I expected,” you shrugged innocently.

He smiled a little, “sure, or general nosiness, you know--could be that.”

“Leave me alone,” you laughed, took a mug from him and walked over to the pot he’d already made.

“I’m not doing anything,” he snaked an arm around your waist when you tipped it over to pour.

A sound from the other side of the room. She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Hey--sorry to interrupt.”

“No,” you said quickly. This was her Christmas, her kids. Her old house and her ex.

“You’re fine,” Jason reassured, a step back from you but not a big one.

“Thanks for getting them presents, Y/N, that’s really sweet of you.”

“Oh, yeah, no, of course. Sorry to crash your morning. I thought traffic would be worse.”

Jason smiled at you subtly, Olivia waved you off.

“No, that’s fine--they were excited to see you.”

Another swell of your heart at that, the look on her face was genuine and you did your best to believe her. “Well, I’m just glad I could provide a sliver of happiness for them today. But by the looks of the living room they’ve got plenty already.”

She smiled at your words, came to sit at the island when Jason moved to bring you the half and half.

“So, we haven’t shared the news with them yet, but Jason tells me you’re tagging along to London.”

You looked up at him briefly, were you allowed to confirm? “Yes, yeah--that’s the plan.”

“That’s cool,” she nodded. “I’m sure they’ll be excited to have you out there.”

An awkward smile in her direction, you counted to three when you poured the half and half into your coffee, watched as the swirls dispersed in the mug. Music and laughter from the other room still, eventually Olivia helped them tidy up and you waved goodbye from the front step.

He’d asked you a few days earlier: come meet my sisters and my parents. So now you stood in his bedroom, eyeing the options you’d brought as they sprawled out on the bed. He emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

“What’s the vibe for this?”

He smiled up at you, eyebrows raised as if he could sense the nervousness in your voice.

“It’s Christmas,” he said simply. “So…festive.”

“Right, but like, heels and a dress festive or jeans and a cute sweater festive or--”

He laughed a little, came over to stand beside you and stare down at the clothes you’d pulled out of a duffle bag. “Whatever you feel more comfortable in.”

“That doesn’t help at all,” you watched him walk back toward his dresser, pulling out a white undershirt and a pair of khakis. “I’m worried the heels are kind of slutty and I’m worried that the jeans are too casual for, you know, meeting your parents.”

“Well, we tend to be a more casual family, so--I vote jeans.”

“Are you sure?”

He made a face, a teasing one that made you roll your eyes when you picked up the jeans to inspect. High waisted, no holes but frayed ankles that you typically paired with boots. “Fine, I will be casual, and if I feel underdressed I’m telling them all that I was going to wear a dress but you talked me out of it.”

He raised his eyebrows and pulled on his undershirt. “I do like talking you out of your clothes.”

An eye roll, another laugh when he kissed you on the forehead and made his way downstairs. You swiped on some eyeliner and tried to steady your shaking hands in the passenger seat of his car.

They’re also meeting you, he reminded. My sisters are huge fans.

He held your hand in the foyer of a midtown Condo, you greeted them with hugs and sipped red wine in front of the fire and listened to his parents tell stories about the basketball team he played on as a kid. It was strange to feel like your worlds were colliding, something that once felt like it would never happen. But on the drive home when he put a hand on your thigh, the jeans were a perfect option, right?, you smiled and realized at this point, separate worlds were hard to imagine.

__

Blake was thrilled with the news: another spring across the pond and another excuse for her to visit London. She took a martini from the bartender that took up residence in her living room, smiled when Maddy said she’d already booked tickets to come see you.

“You’re moving in together, Y/N, this is huge!”

“It’s not huge,” you waved her off, took a sip of your own cocktail and eyed Jason across the room. “It’s short term, only a few months, and I’ll have to come back to New York a few times too, I’ve got rehearsals in April--”

“Right, but you’ll have a toothbrush beside his and a shared grocery list,” Maddy smiled.

Blake wiggled her eyebrows at that, you felt the excitement bubble in your veins when you glanced over again. He laughed at something Ryan said, the buzz of New Year’s Eve lingered overhead when he met your eyes.

“Oh god,” Maddy said, teasing. “He’s coming over here, act natural.”

You nudged your friend with your elbow, took another sip when he smiled at your friends and approached.

“I know Y/N well enough now to know when she’s talking about me,” he shrugged causally. “And Maddy’s face is also a dead giveaway.”

“I have the worst fucking poker face,” she admitted, a pout up at Jason when he laughed.

“What did I do this time?”

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“Well if you’re all standing over here talking about me and staring at me across the room,” his head tilted to the side, “I’d assume it’s either really good or really bad.”

“Mmm,” you nodded, playing into his joke. “This time it’s really good.”

“This time?” His eyebrows arched and he put a hand to his heart in shock. “So there’s been times where you guys stand around talking shit about me?”

“Yeah of course,” Maddy said simply. “Like when you showed up to Y/N’s birthday party but didn’t come and say hi for like…an hour.”

Jason bit back a smile at your friend’s playful jab, the teasing was in good fun and by now, he knew your friends well enough to give it right back.

“How was I supposed to have the balls to come over and say hi when I had you staring me down all night?” He asked Maddy.

“Touché,” she laughed. “And we weren’t talking shit.”

“No?” He asked.

“Depends on your definition of shit,” Blake teased. “But you know I talk shit about you all the time.”

“I do,” he nodded, slinging an arm around her shoulder before smiling down at you. “So--do I actually get to know why I’m the topic of conversation tonight?”

“I was just telling them about London,” you admitted, a flutter of your eyelashes when he nodded slowly.

“Did she tell you how much I had to beg?” Jason looked over to Blake.

“No,” she laughed, “but I’m not shocked. Getting to Y/N to leave the tri-state area can be tough.”

“For that long, too,” Maddy commented.

You rolled your eyes. “I’ll be fine!”

“You can bring some of the rotting garbage stench with you to London, if you want,” Jason laughed.

“Or the subway rats,” Maddy nodded seriously. “I wouldn’t miss them.”

“Just send me pictures of them, okay?” You teased.

“Deal,” Maddy smiled. Another blonde-haired girl with perfect teeth wedged into your circle, hugged Maddy like they’d been friends forever.

“Hey,” Jason tugged you aside once Blake turned to greet someone else, he waved briefly to someone across the room, we’ll catch up in a minute. “I brought something.”

You eyed him for a second, he reached into the inner pocket of his jacket, pulling out a tiny plastic bag that had a joint inside.

“Oh my god,” you rolled your eyes. “Here? You’re going to make me smoke weed with you for the first time here?”

“As opposed to?”

“At home, on your couch, in private, where I won’t make an idiot of myself in front of all of our friends.”

He rolled his eyes. “Number one, I’m not making you do it, it was simply an offer. And number two, I feel like after three drinks your chances of doing something dumb would be just as likely.”

“Ha ha,” you deadpanned. “We can’t smoke inside, and I don’t know if Blake and Ryan will care.”

“You’re joking, right?” He eyed you.

“No, I’m not joking!”

“Ryan and I smoke all the time. Come here,” he took your hand, led you down the hall and into--what you knew was--the master bedroom. It was dark, the bed was made, he pushed a curtain out of the way and unlocked the sliding door that went to the balcony. Apparently you both knew their house well enough to make yourselves at home.

Once you were outside with the door shut behind you, he took it out, pulled a lighter from his other pocket and you watched him put it between his lips.

“Where’d you get this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well is this from a dispensary or is this from the streets?”

“A dispensary, Y/N, Jesus,” he laughed. “I’m not gonna let you smoke meth or PCP or some shit.” He lit it and took a puff into his lungs, your cheeks dimpled at his protectiveness over you. He handed it to you and watched as you inspected it. When he exhaled, he laughed: “I promise.”

“I know,” you rolled your eyes, brought it to your lips and inhaled. The head rush was quick, the city lights looked like snow when you blurred your eyes. The excitement from Times Square was audible over rooftops and high rises, you sat in silence for a few seconds, passed it back and forth a few times.

On the third hit you let out a cough, he watched you with wide eyes. “Don’t judge me, I don’t smoke a lot.”

“I also probably have ten extra years of experience.”

“That too.”

The door slid open and Ryan appeared on the other side, an expectant smile. “Are you guys having sex outside?”

“Yeah,” Jason said quickly. “That’s her kink.”

“Actually,” you shot him a look. “We smoked weed.”

“Oh nice,” Ryan said, taking the joint from Jason when he offered it up. You watched with wide eyes as your friend inhaled. He made a face at you when he held his breath, blew the smoke up towards the stars before he looked back at you. “What? My children are gone, it’s New Year’s Eve.”

“I’ve just never seen you smoke weed. I’ve never seen either of you smoke weed,” you turned back to Jason, eyebrows arched when Ryan smiled.

“Aw, you guys--I’m so honored to be included in this monumental moment with you.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you shot him a look, attention pulled away by the buzzing of your phone. A text from Mia on her night off: not something to figure out now but Dev’s wife had her baby and now he can’t do the music video. I’ll talk with Chris in the morning and figure something out.

“Oh fuck,” you said to yourself.

“What?”

You looked up to see Jason with the joint between his lips again.

“The guy who was gonna direct my music video next week just had a baby so now he’s pulling out.”

“Sounds like he didn’t pull out in time if he had a baby,” Ryan laughed.

You stifled a laugh at his dumb joke, Jason did too but then eyed you more seriously. “What’s the song again?”

“All My Ghosts,” you said. “We’ll find someone to do it, though.”

“Why doesn’t Jason do it?” Ryan kept his eyes on the joint when he reached for it, took the lighter and held it up to his mouth again.

“Me?”

You looked at Ryan, let your eyes glance over to Jason and then back.

“Yeah, you were just saying you want to get into directing.”

“Well I didn’t--I don’t know if that--”

The thought of him there on set, playing a role in a creation of yours as it comes to life, watching you do your thing. Your pulse picked up when his eyes met yours. “You should,” you smiled up at him.

“I should?” He repeated your words as if he hadn’t heard you correctly, as if you were crazy.

You shrugged. Maybe it was the weed, maybe it was the fact that the song was about him and he knew it, even if he didn’t have the guts to admit it or ask when you played it for him three weeks ago. “Why not?”

“Well it’s your thing, I don’t want to, like--”

“Intrude?” You challenged him.

“Right,” he laughed at your callback. “That.”

“You’d be great at it,” Ryan reassured. “You’ve already got the treatment and everything, right?”

“Yeah--you’ve seen the storyboards, too,” you reminded him. “Basically we just need someone to yell action!”

“We’re high,” Jason reminded. “I feel like this decision should be a sober one.”

“And directors do a lot more than yell action,” Ryan reminded, lips in a thin line. “They yell cut too.”

You all laughed at that, Jason rolled his eyes and took another hit when Ryan passed it over.

“Think about it,” you shrugged. “Could be cool.”

Ryan eventually pulled you inside, I need a snack pronto. You followed them in towards the kitchen, wove through familiar faces as people made their way for the TV. Crowds and confetti only twenty blocks up, Jason pulled you into his side when the countdown began and Ryan shoved a hand into a bag of tortilla chips. Blake eyed him wearily, the bowl near the salsa wasn’t good enough for you?

Ten, nine, eight.

“Hey,” Jason looked down at you.

“Hey.”

“I’m totally high, but--would you ever get married?”

You blinked a few times, overstimulated by the noise and the question and the bodies around you. “To you?”

He shrugged. “In general, but yeah.”

You laughed a little. Off topic, out of the blue. Seven, six, five. “I think so, yeah.”

He nodded. “Good to know.”

“Is this a proposal?” You teased.

“God no,” he said. “I have more tact and class than that.”

Happy New Year! He kissed you quickly, the room erupted and then:

“Hey,” Blake appeared, hand on your elbow. “Where’d you guys go before? I was looking for--” her eyes narrowed. “Are you…high?”

“Me?” You pointed at your own chest. “What? No. No! We’re fine.”

She looked up to Jason who smirked at the question. Ryan, by her side, made a face at his wife. “Why would you ask that, Blake?”

“Are you high, too?” She asked him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jason shrugged. “None of us are high. Everyone’s sober. Three not high people.”

“Okay well then Y/N has a terrible case of pink eye.”

“I do not!” You squinted, biting back a laugh.

Jason pulled back and looked at you. “She’s not wrong,” he admitted with a laugh. “Your eyes are fucked.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll admit it,” you confessed. “I am high. And does anyone else realize that this song is in the key of A and the melody in the pre-chorus sounds kind of like an Adele song? Too bad it’s not 2010 or else it would be a great mash-up.”

Jason looked down at you, lip curled up in confusion. “So weed just makes you better at music than you already are?”

“Weed makes her think she’s the funniest person alive, too.”

Ryan and Jason both turned to Blake at that, surprise on their faces.

Ryan’s eyebrows arched. “Wait, you two have smoked together?”

“Edibles,” Blake corrected. “But yeah--Mexico. 2017, 2018?”

“2018,” you nodded, a smile on your face. “The ocean was nice.”

“When was this?” Ryan asked, hand back in the bag of chips now.

“I was filming that movie, the one that Adam directed, I was there and Y/N had a few days off from tour and came down.”

“We had the greatest dinner and then got drunk and decided to add an edible to the mix,” you informed.

“And then decided skinny dipping was a great idea.”

“Cross-faded skinny dipping?” Ryan asked. “You could have drowned.”

“Okay dad,” Blake rolled her eyes.

An hour later and she was on the balcony with you. The party thinned out and Blake took a hit before she smiled. “So who do you think will get sick of the other first?”

Jason let out a laugh. “She’ll get sick of me way before I get sick of her.”

Ryan agreed: “Yeah, definitely Y/N.”

“No way,” you shook your head, sat on a fancy teak recliner and looked up at the stars. “I hum a lot.”

“You hum a lot?” Blake asked.

“Oh yeah,” Jason nodded. “She does, like, all the time.”

“And that’s annoying,” you looked up at Jason. “Maybe annoying enough that he’ll have to kick me out.”

“No one’s kicking anyone out,” he rolled his eyes, took the joint from Blake and then smiled over at you. “I won’t kick you out and you definitely won’t kick me out. Because I’m paying for the place so I don’t think she can legally do that.”

“Hey,” Ryan’s face lit up when he looked at his wife. “Jason’s gonna direct Y/N’s music video.”

“What?!” She smiled. “That’s amazing!”

“Well I don’t know,” Jason said, hesitation on his face when he shrugged.

Blake coughed a little and blinked when the weed seemed to hit her. “Is that nepotism?”

“Yes,” Jason nodded.

“No,” Ryan shook his head.

“Oh come on, Jason,” Blake laughed. “Song’s probably about you right?”

His eyes flashed over to you, you cut him off so he didn’t have to reply. Awkward…

“He’s being weird about it, but I think it would be fun.”

“What’s the plot?” Blake moved to sit criss-cross, she leaned back into the chair and let out a sigh as she got comfortable.

Answering that question might give you away. Yes, it’s 100% about him.

“Uh, a date night, like…the date night when you realize you’re really falling for someone and you’ve got it bad. That’s the concept, more or less.”

“Okay,” Blake nodded, director brain taking over. “Location?”

“New York--a convenience store, interior and exterior. Apartment interior, bedroom, kitchen--oh and an interior car shot. We’ve got two days to shoot.”

“You should totally do it,” she looked at Jason.

“Hmm,” he thought aloud. “You’re all stoned.”

“So are you!” You laughed when he did, a flirtatious smirk in his direction.

“I’ll be sure to consider your offer when I’m not high, okay?”

You rolled your eyes, “okay.”

He slept at yours that night, woke up and rolled over to find you rubbing your eyes. “How’d we even get home?”

He laughed. We were stoned, not drunk.

He’d called for a car and you climbed into the shower with him around 3am, asleep on his chest as the new year settled like dust in the city. Now, he stretched.

“Sorry I was a little weird last night.”

You didn’t know what he was referring to. The music video? Asking you for your general thoughts on marriage as the ball dropped?

“What do you mean?”

“The video--I’m sure Chris already found someone to do it, right?”

You paused, shrugged a little. Maybe. But you’d also texted him when you were high and said Jason could always do it.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s not that I don’t want to,” he rolled onto his side to get a better look at you, head propped up on his hand. “It’s that I don’t want you to let me out of pity.”

You smirked a little and sat up on the mattress, feet tangled in the white sheets. “I don’t do pity, remember?”

He laughed a little, nodded. “Right.”

So that’s how you found yourself sitting in the hair and make-up chair a week later with a pounding heart. Mia had just disappeared to fetch you a coffee as it was already clear it’d be a long night. The door to your trailer opened, the women swiping mascara on your lashes smiled up at the newest occupant.

“Hi babe,” you greeted.

“Hi,” he said, clipboard in hand when he took a few steps closer. “Do you have a second?”

“Yeah,” you smiled up at Justine, can we have the room? She folded up an eye shadow palette and headed out into the cold night. “What’s up?”

“This is your last chance to fire me.”

“What?” You laughed, angling yourself towards him. “Why would I fire you?”

“Because I don’t want to do this if you think I shouldn’t.”

You offered him a sympathetic look. “I wouldn’t have asked you if I thought it was a bad idea.”

“Right, no--I just--you know, I haven’t done it before.”

“Are you…feeling insecure?” You wiggled your brows at him and he rolled his eyes playfully.

“I just feel like directing a Y/N L/N music video is a really big debut, you know? Not exactly how most people dip their toe into the water.”

“You’ve worked on a million movies and you’ve been working on TV shows for, like, almost as long as I’ve been alive.”

He smiled a little at your joke, came to lean on the counter in front of you.

“Me doing this will make a lot of headlines.”

“I know.”

“And you’re okay with that?” He asked.

“Me moving to London with you in a few weeks will make a lot of headlines.”

“I know,” he admitted.

“And you’re okay with that?” You tossed the question back at him.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Me too.”

He sighed dramatically, letting his eyes land on you again. “Fine, okay, I’ll do it.”

“Thank god,” you joked. “Someone’s gotta sit there and yell shit.”

He bickered with you for a second, it’s a lot more than just yelling, but soon Mia reappeared and Justine came back to blow hairspray on top of your head and touch up your lipstick one last time.

The air on set felt thick, like everyone knew at the end of the night shoot you’d likely end up in bed with the director. Jason addressed the crew and Chris, this is gonna be great, thanks for being here. Then he put his hands on your shoulders in encouragement.

“This is a great treatment, great music video, we’re gonna kill this.”

You’d sat at his dining room table only a few nights earlier going over the story boards and talking through the different scenes. A convenience store, an interior apartment shot, an interior car shot, a kitchen. You listened to the song with him on repeat and pointed out certain moments, that’s when I want it to cut to a shot of…

Now, he clapped his hands together and you found your mark, wondering how the lyrics sounded to him. He’d yet to acknowledge the parallels of a night you’d spent together over the summer, half drunk and early on in the relationship.

Mia was right beside you, hand out expectantly to take the coffee you still held in yours. A final swig, you gave it to her and lowered your voice. “Do you think he knows this song is about him?”

Her eyes glanced in his direction, back to your face quickly when she let out a laugh. “Yeah.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” she nodded again. “You don’t?”

“No, I don’t know,” you said quietly. People hurried around, Justine approached again and powdered your forehead. “I didn’t tell him it was, he didn’t ask.”

“Well you pretty specifically describe a night you spent with him, right?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged.

Mia smiled a little. “I think he knows.”

“Huh.”

“I think that’s why he’s nervous.”

No time to fixate, he came over to ask if you were ready, a hand on your shoulder when he ran you through the blocking again. Through the aisles, up the register, out the door and down the sidewalk. Aaron, a 27-year-old who’d been cast as your love interest, smiled when you nodded in greeting.

He knew Ada, knew Evie, seemed more starstruck by your boyfriend than by you. Great, seeing as he had to make out with you later.

Action, three takes before you got to pull on a jacket and sip the coffee Mia held on the sidelines. Butterflies when it hit you, he’d never seen you like this before. In character, an exaggerated and amplified version of yourself. The one that people saw on TV or in magazines, not the one who sipped wine on his sofa or sent him stupid memes.

Any tension that was in the air dissipated by the 5th take. Isn’t she dating him? Has he ever directed before? How long have they been together?

The same type of thing that happened on every set: you both had to prove yourselves. People typically held their breath, wondered if you were the type of celebrity to bark orders or give the cold shoulder. But when you greeted them with smiles and thanked people for working on your music video, they softened and said they were glad to be there.

Similarly, Jason strode up to Aaron and gave a small note: can you round the corner more slowly, observe her a bit more, then meet up with her at the counter? The entire crew seemed to relax. He knows what he’s doing.

Right before midnight and you were now in a kitchen, an apartment in Chelsea that Jesse, your director of photography, found and sent pictures of. This place is perfect. The same outfit as before, sans jacket.

“Let’s do a few takes where you just look up at him, you know, really lovingly, but then let’s do a few where you actually kiss, just to get options.”

“Okay,” you agreed, a nod when he walked back over to the camera. More fluttering of movement around the set, someone fluffed your hair and then disappeared.

“Your boyfriend just directed me to kiss you,” Aaron said, a smirk on his face.

“I know,” you rolled your eyes. “Clearly we didn’t think all of it through when we talked about him directing this.”

“He’s great,” Aaron waved you off. “Look at him over there with headphones and a clipboard, he’s a natural.”

You laughed, took in the sight of Jason smiling at the monitor with Jesse, your director of photography. They pointed at something and nodded, Jason pulled his eyes up to you and then smiled, a moment with twenty feet between you and another ten people in the room.

Mia’s words echoed: I think that’s why he’s nervous.

She had a point. Maybe Jason’s nerves weren’t so much about directing or about directing your music video. Maybe he was nervous because the headlines that would hit papers were sure to fill in the blanks.

Did Jason Sudeikis really direct a music video for a song Y/N L/N wrote about him? Fact or Fiction?

A few more takes, Aaron was a better kisser than the last guy you had in a video and by 2am, you were heading for your trailer with the type of headache that only accompanied night shoots.

Jason had a jacket zipped up to his chin, a beanie on his head to shield himself from the January air. You stepped over wires and dodged crew members lugging equipment.

“Hey,” he said, falling into step with you. “We’re almost ready to start up again, do a few more takes.”

“Perfect,” you nodded. “I need water and I need to pee,” you told him. “Come with me.”

“Come with you?” He smirked.

“Just to the trailer, not the bathroom.” He opened his mouth to speak but you held up a finger. “Do not say that you’ve seen it all before.”

He laughed, climbing the steps behind you and then tugging the door shut. “You know me so well.”

A moment of silence when you plugged your phone in and shrugged off a jacket. “How are you doing?”

“Me?” He asked, looking up from his phone screen. “Good. Why?”

“You were nervous before!”

“How are you doing?” He tossed the question back at you.

“Good, Aaron’s a great kisser,” you wiggled your brows.

“I’ll fire him right now,” he crossed his arms.

“Oh stop,” you moved past him, adjusting your shirt in the mirror. “You seem very comfortable with all of this.”

“Well, I was thinking about it,” he took a seat on the couch behind the makeup chair, shrugged when he met your gaze in the mirror. “People are definitely going to have their opinions about me directing the video--but, I don’t know, it makes sense to me seeing as it’s almost a word for word account of the first night we spent together when I got back from London.”

You felt the heat rise to your cheeks, lips curling up when you tried to fight the smile. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t?” He asked, standing from the sofa.

“No,” you turned around, smirking. “No clue.”

“Huh, okay.” He nodded. “Even though we did everything in the song, I’m just supposed to believe it’s not about me, or us, at all?”

“Yep,” you nodded, moving over to the tiny bathroom. He followed you quickly, stuck his foot in the doorway before you were able to shut it.

“I like the song,” he said. “I like that it’s about me.”

“Well it’s not about you,” you giggled.

“Sure,” he rolled his eyes. “Just like our first date wasn’t a first date.”

story page | talk to me/join the tag list | the playlist

tag list: @golden-hoax @fineelineee @westcoastrry @missing-you-like-war @trulymadlykiki @caplikeme @baueoud @tiredbuthappy @whymyparentscheckmyphone @tedlassostan @tegan8314 @yourgoldengirls @loganrwebb @rubberduckingaro

AN: wooooohooooo part 14! WOW I have been excited to share this one cause the music video thing is so fun to me and I know people were excited for them to smoke together lol. Sorry this took a bit longer than expected!! ALSO here's the song that they're making the music video for. I imagine the music video to be pretty similar to the real one.

[waitimcomingtoo]

The Hint

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Synopsis submitted by @jasmine11685: Peter gets jealous when you have to flirt with someone on a mission

Masterlist

“Wow.”

That was the only word Peter could say as you descended the staircase in a form fitting black dress. The slit up the side added an elegant touch, something needed for the ball you were going to.

“You look pretty “wow” yourself.” You smiled shyly as you lifted the hem of your dress to walk towards him. “The suit is a nice change from the flannels, though I do love those.”

Peter opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words formed in his brain. As soon as you put your hands on his collar to tuck it under his suit jacket, his name was lost on his and all he knew was yours.

“So this is what it’s like to be speechless.” He chuckled nervously as you straightened his jacket.

“Shut up.” You giggled as your face flushed. “Your ties a little crooked.”

“Thanks.” Peter whispered as you adjusted his tie. “You look beautiful. Like, the kind of beautiful that makes you want to cry when you look at it.”

“Thank you.” You laughed again, out of habit. You looked at Peter through your eyelashes as your shaking hands slid down his jacket.

“Nervous?” He asked softly when he noticed your unsteady demeanor.

“A little.” You smiled weakly. “It’s uh, it’s a shame I’m gonna have to waste all this beautiful on some douche who won’t appreciate it.”

“Well I appreciate it.” Peter assured you. “All of it. What is your mission exactly?”

“I just have to get some information out of Harry Osborn. Apparently he’s the only one who knows what’s his father has been doing up at Oscorp. We have to find out his plans before he does something dangerous. Could you help me with this?” You asked as you handed him a diamond necklace. You turned around and Peter carefully moved your hair off of your back.

“Oh.” He said in surprise as he clasped the necklace around your neck. “And how are you planing on getting that information?”

“I’m gonna flirt with him like my life depends on it.” You said confidently as you turned back around. “Because who knows? It might.”

Peters face twitched in confusion as his eyebrows knit together. He felt a white hot jealousy run all the way to his scalp when he learned about the plan.

“You have to flirt with that asshole?” Peter laughed nervously and cleared his throat. “He’s a total playboy. He’s probably never done his own laundry a day in his life.”

“I think I can handle him.” You winked at him as you touched your your lipstick. “And his laundry.”

“I have no doubt in your abilities. I just wish you didn’t have to use them on him.” Peter said, mostly to himself.

“It’s fine, Pete.” You assured him. “I’m actually excited to do it.”

“Excited?” Peter began to sweat.

“Yeah.” You grinned in excitement. “This is the biggest role I’ve ever had in a mission. I really want to do a good job so I can impress my dad. That means I’m gonna have to pull out my best flirting.”

“Your best flirting?” Peter was really beginning to panic now.

“Yup. I need this boy to fall in love with me.” You told him. “Watch, by the end of the night, he’ll be putty in my hands.”

“I don’t think you should do this, Y/n.” Peter blurted. “I think we should get Natasha or someone else to do it. You shouldn’t have to be the shiny object we use to distract the enemy.”

“I’m fine with it, Pete. My dad didn’t give me this role because I’m pretty. He gave me this role because I have good communication and manipulation skills. Plus, I’m closest to Harry’s age. It all works out.”

“He could be really dangerous.” Peter protested. “You could get hurt.”

“I’m really dangerous.” You stated. “And he’s definitely gonna get hurt.”

“Just be careful, okay?” Peter sighed, making you look at him. You walked over to him and cupped his face in your hands, making his breath hitch in his throat.

“I got this, Petey.” You said gently. “I know you’re worried about me, but you have no reason to be. I can do this. And you, Sam, and my dad are gonna be listening the whole time. We’re gonna catch this guy. I know it.”

“I just don’t want you getting hurt. If things go wrong-“

“They won’t.” You cut him off. “Go ask my dad. He drew up every possible outcome of this plan and they all end with Harry getting his ass kicked.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded and gave you a smile. “I’ll go talk to Mr. Stark.”

~

“You just had to believe in her.” Peter grouched as he barged into Tony’s office. “You just had to recognize her talent and trust her enough to carry the mission.”

“I’m sorry. Is that anger directed towards moi?” Tony touched a hand to his chest. “Are you mad at me?”

“Yeah, I am.” Peter said. “You know I like Y/n and sent her off to flirt with the richest playboy in New York City?”

“Hey.” Tony said sternly. “Playboy is my thing.”

“Why did you have to make her do this job?” Peter whined. “She’s gonna fall in love with him and forget all about me.”

“He’s a criminal, Peter.” Tony reminded him.

“So? Girls love that!” He protested. “You remember how she acted around Loki.”

“Don’t remind me.” Tony rolled his eyes. Peters face shifted back to his forlorn expression and Tony saw how much this was hurting him.

“Look, kid, don’t sweat this mission.” He said as he put a hand on Peters shoulder. “She’s just gonna get the information she needs from Harry and you’ll never have to worry about him again. You can go right back to your little will-they-won’t-they bullshit or whatever it is you’re doing.”

“I have a plan.” Peter insisted. “And Harry is going to put a serious wrench in my plan, thanks to you.”

“You have a plan?” Tony doubted. “Ive been watching you pine after my daughter for years. When is this plan going into action exactly?”

“I’m just going to think really hard about how I’m in love with her and wait until she realizes.” Peter mumbled as he adverted his eyes.

“Yeah?” Tony cocked his head. “And how’s that going for you?”

“I think she’s just about to get the hint.” Peter said and Tony let out a groan.

“Kid, just ask her out.” He reasoned. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“She could hear me.” Peter stated. “And then say no.”

“She’s never gonna take the hint unless you actually give her the hint.” Tony reasoned. “Why don’t you try tonight? She’ll be all giddy from successfully completing the mission. Perfect time to confess those bottled up feelings.”

“I don’t know.” Peter sighed. “Maybe.”

~

An hour later, you were making eyes at Harry from the bar. After locking eyes a few times, you signaled for him to come over.

“Hey.” Harry knocked on the bar twice and looked down at you. He sized you up before smiling in approval and sending you a nod.

“Hey.” You gave him a sultry smile as he sat down.

“You all by yourself?” He asked as he drummed his fingers on the bar.

“I was.” You took a sip and looked at him through your lashes. “Until you came along.”

“Mind if I stay?” He raised an eyebrow as he flagged down the bartender. You made a face as he ordered a drink before smiling at him.

“I prefer it.” You flirted.

“Good.” He accepted his drink and took a long sip. “I don’t like being told no.”

“Then you better give me something to say yes to.” You leaned on your hand and leaned towards him. Inside, you were gagging at his arrogance. On the outside, you were eating it up.

And that made two of you.

“Oh God.” Peter gagged as he listened to the banter through his ear piece. “This is torture.”

Sam, who was standing next to him as they both kept an eye on you, gave Peter a look.

“Relax, kid.” He sighed. “She’s just doing her job.”

“You’re a pretty bold girl. I like that.” Harry cupped your chin before releasing it. “Just not as bold as me.”

“Oh yeah?” You raised an eyebrow, grabbed his drink, and downed the rest before slamming the glass down. “How about now?”

“Oh, you are going to get me into trouble.” Harry chuckled and he scooted closer to you. Peter watched in disdain as the jealousy coursed through his veins again.

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” You crawled. “Don’t you like trouble?”

“I love it.” He insisted as he held out his hand. “My names Harry Osborn. You’ve probably heard of me.”

“I have.” You smirked as you shook his hand. “I’m Y/n.”

“Why is she talking like that?” Peter whined upon hearing your flirty tone. “She never talks like that.”

“Because she’s not trying to sleep with you, dummy. Thats why.” Sam snorted as he continued to watch.

“What?” Peter snapped his head towards Sam. “She’s not trying to sleep with that guy. She’s just getting information out of him.”

“Yeah well, guys tend to talk a lot more once you’ve tired them out.” Sam shrugged as he sipped his own drink. Pete’s face fell as he stared Harry down with daggers in his eyes.

“She wouldn’t do that.” Peter mumbled.

“Shhh.” Sam waved his hand. “I’m trying to listen.”

“So,” you took another sip from your drink, “Whats it like being the son of one of the most powerful men in the city? Wasn’t your dad like, 25 when he founded Oscorp.”

“23, but who’s keeping score.” Harry shrugged as he looked around the room. “I’ll probably do something like that soon. Maybe something even bigger. I already have a lot of ideas. Pretty impressive, huh?”

“Totally.” You egged him on but rolled your eyes when he looked away. “Do you ever get to watch his experiments?”

“Baby, I’ve seen just about all of them.” Harry bragged as he played with your dangling earrings. “He’s done things you wouldn’t believe. Things that aren’t even legal.”

“Yeah?” Your eyes widened in excitement and you leaned in closer. “Like what?”

“I can’t tell you here.” Harry pulled away suddenly and sighed. “I don’t want anyone hearing.”

“Alright.” You purposefully took the bait. “Then let’s talk somewhere else.”

“Do you know a place?” He played nonchalant as he put a hand on your knee. Peter watched the scene in front of him and looked away.

“Yeah. My bedroom.” You smirked and stood up. “Let’s go there.”

“Bold.” Harry rubbed his hands together and stood up as well. “You’re dangerous.”

You took his hand and lead him towards the elevator, feeling the gun that was strapped to your thigh brush against your leg as you walked.

“You have no idea.” You mumbled. You passed Sam and Peter and gave them a nod as you lead Harry towards his interrogation. Peter looked like he was ready to fight someone and Sam looked entirely amused. You gave them a thumbs up before leading Harry upstairs.

~

“What’s the craziest thing your dad has done?” You asked as you sat down on the bed. You flicked your leg out and pretended to examine your heels to draw his attention. Harry took the bait and held your ankle in his hands, admiring the fancy shoes Mr. Stark had given you for the mission.

“Why do you want to know?” He asked coyly as he looked up at you.

“Because I like to get a little crazy myself and I want to know how much you can handle.” You shrugged as you shook your hair out. Peter gulped as he listened, feeling his jaw tighten in anger. Tony joined him and Sam at their post and looked around for you and Harry.

“How’s the mission going?” He asked when he didn’t see you anywhere.

“Horrible.” Peter grumbled.

“She didn’t get him to the secondary location?” Tony worried.

“She did.” Sam cut in. “Peters just mad that his girlfriend just found herself a boyfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Peter snapped. “Maybe she would have been if Mr. Stark wasn’t a destroyer of young love.”

“Parker, quiet.” Sam commanded. “I’m trying to listen.”

“How do I know I can trust you?” Harry folded his arms as he looked down on you.

“You can trust me.” You told him as you reached up to grab his tie. You used it to pull yourself up and off the bed before planting a kiss right on his mouth.

“What was that?” Peter touched his fingertips to his ear piece when he heard silence from your end.” Why did she pause?”

“She didn’t pause.” Sam shook his head as he checked his watch.

“Then what-“

“She kissed him.” Tony cut in while giving Peter an apologetic look.

“She kissed him?” All the color drained from Peters face and Tony felt he was to blame.

“You know the Green Goblin?” Harry asked once you pulled away.

“Yeah.”

“That’s my dad.” Harry admitted, and Tony and Sam quickly wrote it down.

“No way.” You pretended to be impressed. “I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true. He was dying so he invented this serum to keep himself alive. It ended up giving him all these crazy abilities.” Harry boasted, incriminating himself further. “And he’s got this glider that he can fly around on. You’d love it. It’s very shiny.”

“Wow. I love shiny.” You gushed, fighting the urge to punch him in the throat then and there. “How much serum did he make?”

“He has one more vile that he said he’d give to me when I’m older.” Harry tweaked his eyebrow as he smirked.

“So you’re gonna be the next Green Goblin? Isnt he a bit of a bad guy?” You continued to draw information out of him as your fingers danced around his collar.

“Maybe I am bad guy.” Harry shrugged. “Like father, like son.”

Harry leaned in to kiss you again but you dodged it and laughed as you moved away.

“Bad, huh?” You composed yourself so you wouldn’t be suspicious. “What else has he done?”

“He gave one of our scientists these metal arms. They can rip a person in half. Ive seen it happen.” Harry continued to brag and you recorded every word of it.

“Dr. Occtavius.” Tony realized. “That’s how he got his weapons.”

“Thats crazy.” You gasped and played with his hair. “What’s your dad gonna do?”

“He’s basically forming a league of bad guys.” Harry shrugged like it was no big deal. “Guys way worse than the Avengers.”

“Does he have a problem with the Avengers?” You wondered.

“My dad hates them. I hate them too.” Harry scoffed and you held back a laugh. “That’s why we’re gonna wipe them out. New York can’t rely on a bunch of guys in dress up, and we’re gonna show them that.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“With an attack on New York City on the 8th.” Harry told you, and Tony immediately wrote it down. “The Avengers won’t know what hit them.”

“That sounds pretty scary. Will you keep me safe?” You batted your eyelashes at him and he ate it up.

“I can’t listen to this.” Peter took out his earpiece and slammed it on the counter. “I’m going in there.”

“Parker! Stay where you are and - you know what? I don’t care.” Sam shrugged it off and continued to listen to your conversation.

“Of course baby.” He cupped your face in his hands. “It’s gonna be a direct hit on the Avengers tower. A pretty thing like you won’t be anywhere near there.”

“Actually”, you took his hands off your face and dropped your smile, “I will.”

“What?” Harry’s face faltered at your sudden mood change.

“Did you get that guys?” You touched your fingers to your ear piece and waited for the confirmation. “Copy that, dad.”

“What?” Harry’s face twisted in anger. “You’re an Avenger?”

“Look at you! So smart. You figured it out.” You said sarcastically.

“No.” Harry shook his head. “I don’t believe you. There’s no way you’re an Avenger. You’re my age and a chick.”

“Not just an Avenger. I’m a Stark too. Want me to prove it to you?” You asked casually.

“How?” Harry raised an eyebrow. You gave him a swift punch to the throat that knocked him on his back.

“Like that.” You blew your hair off your forehead as you checked your nails.

“You bitch.” Harry wheezed from the floor.

“You see, I can’t have you and your father attacking my friends.” You crouched down beside him and shrugged. “I’m gonna have to take you in.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” Harry swiped at you but you dodged it.

“I know. But this cute little microphone recorded everything you said and sent it to the police.” You pouted and pointed to your mic. “They should be here soon. You might want to wipe the lipstick off your face before the get here.”

“I’m not going to prison.” Harry grumbled as he sat up.

“Aw, but you are.” You said as you pulled him off the floor and put his hands behind his back. “Daddy can’t bail you out of this one, like how he bailed you out of your 17 parking tickets.”

“How do you know about that?” Harry asked as he looked over his shoulder at you.

“I know everything, bitch.” You leaned into his ear to growl.

“No. I’m not going down for this.” Harry broke out of your hold and swung at you. You dodged the first one, but he got you right in the jaw with the second one. You stood up and got ready to fight him as he put his fists up.

“You’re not even that pretty.” He exclaimed as he swung at you again. Right as his fist collided with your face, Peter burst in the door.

“Yes she is!” Peter shouted as he jumped on Harry’s back. Harry threw Peter onto the bed and lunged for you again. You close-lined him with your arm and dug your heel into his back once he was on the ground.

“Peter? What are you doing here?” You asked as you stepped on Harry’s back harder with your heel. “I got this.”

“There’s something I have to tell you.” Peter panted as he got off the bed.

“You won’t get away with this. I will sue!” Harry writhed around beneath your heel.

“Can it wait?” You asked as you pulled Harry off the ground. “I’m a little busy.”

“It can’t wait.” Peter shook his head as you shoved Harry against the wall. “There’s something I’ve been holding in for a long time and I need to tell you.”

“I wouldn’t even bother dude.” Harry said with his face squished against the wall. “She’s a total bitch.”

“Was I talking to you?” Peter growled before shooting a web at Harry’s wrists to handcuff him.

“Ohhh I see.” Harry laughed humorlessly. “Spiderman is mad that I stole his girlfriend.”

“Can you shut up? I’m trying to have a conversation here.” You barked at Harry. “I’m sorry, Peter. Please continue.”

“I didn’t want you to flirt with Harry tonight because you can do a lot more than just sit still and look pretty.” Peter began.

“I know that, Peter.” You nodded.

“I also didn’t want you to flirt with him because I was jealous.” He confessed.

“Jealous?” You asked as you put Harry in the hotel chair and began to tie him up.

“He likes you, stupid.” Harry grumbled. You shot Harry and angry look, but when you looked back at Peter, he was nodded.

“He’s right.” Peter admitted , taking you by surprise.

“You like me?” You lips twitched into a smile as you tightened Harry’s rope. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was scared you wouldn’t like me back. You’re my best friend, Y/n.” Peter said softly. “If you didn’t like me back, everything would change. We’d still be friends but it wouldn’t be the same. I didn’t want to risk that.”

“I’m sorry.” You frowned. “I should’ve been more clear then.”

“Do you seriously have to do this here?” Harry whined and you smacked him on the back of the head.

“Clear about what?” Peter wondered.

“That I like you too.” You smiled sheepishly at him. Tony listened to the confession over the ear pierce and smiled to himself.

“There you go kid.” He mumbled to himself. “She got the hint.”

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[songmingisthighs]

[12.43] mafia!seonghwa × reader

⇀ convinced his partner is trying to steal him away from you, you tried conveying your feelings to him. But he didn't believe you, he thought you're just simply jealous.

⇁ tw : mafia life, jealousy, angst, death

⇁ disclaimer : the author does not support any and all criminal/illegal acts. the narrative written in this story is purely fiction out of the author’s imagination. the things written here does not portray real mafia life nor is the author aware of how the mafia life is like. the author is a hermit loser.

Clad in his couture suit, Seonghwa walked into the party venue with you in his arms. You were wearing a beautiful, glimmering Indigo dress that accentuates your curves, earrings that provide shine to your face, and heels that seem to heighten your class.

Despite all that, you had a forced smile on your face as you just had an argument with Seonghwa in his car merely minutes prior.

He is well aware of your apprehension towards his current partner in crime, a female that done the title of a seductress in the organization both for her role and her daily behaviour. You can't even lie and say that she looks like an inside-out, bloated cow because she's beyond perfect. To make things worse, you heard that the reason why she was partnered with Seonghwa was that she and he look good together.

At first, it was harmless observation over the two, wanting to see their chemistry and whether or not what people said was true. But when you see that even outside of their mission she'd flirt and cling onto him, you feel threatened. Naturally, you told Seonghwa about this but he only brushed your feelings off, convincing himself and you that it's merely childish jealousy.

The issue was never addressed and it accumulates to the point that it became the bane of most of your arguments. So he decided to just avoid talking about anything that relates to his partner in any way.

This is why when he accidentally let it slip that she'd be at the party back in the car, you were slightly furious at him for not giving you a heads up.

So here you are, standing by the champagne tower as Seonghwa made his rounds alone only to be joined by his 'partner' when he talked to their ally.

Your hand was clenching the flute so hard, it was threatening to break any second.

"Whoah, never seen you so tense," a voice called out, breaking your focus of glaring at Seonghwa and her. You look towards the source of the voice only to be greeted with Wooyoung's teasing smirk.

You rolled your eyes at him but smiled at his teasing jab, "hi Woo," you greeted, letting him pull you into a deep hug that lasted a while.

"Givenchy," he stated after taking a whiff at your neck, "man has taste," he pulled away to properly take your attire in, going as far as twirling you playfully which made you giggle. The people around looked at you two with a smile, probably thinking about how cute you two looked together. Which didn't go unnoticed by Seonghwa who is now zeroing his vision in on you and Wooyoung as the girl next to him clung on his arm tightly, seemingly pretending like they're together.

"Where's Seonghwa hyung?" Wooyoung asked after he stopped twirling you, grabbing a flute of champagne instead. You rolled your eyes at the reminder and simply nod your head towards where Seonghwa and his partner stood before sipping the champagne.

Wooyoung cringed at the sight of the girl throwing herself onto a taken man but what bothered him was the fact that Seonghwa seemed to not be affected by it.

"How stupid is your boyfriend to still insist that your intuition is nothing more than jealousy? I mean seriously! She's embarrassing herself!" he groaned, knowing full well what's going on between you and Seonghwa.

You were glad that you're not the only one who realized, despite the person who shared your sentiment is not your boyfriend.

But before you can answer, loud gunshots shocked everyone and suddenly chaos broke.

Wooyoung immediately pushed you behind him as he produces a gun from inside his suit. He turned to you briefly to hurry you out, "go out now, run and don't look back, take the stairs by the balcony and get out of here as quickly as you can and do not try to hide," he said before rushing towards the sound of the gunshot before you could say anything else.

People were pushing you left and right, trying to escape the hall and so were you. But you can't find it in yourself to run just yet, you look around the crowd of people, trying to find Seonghwa.

Soon enough, your eyes met his.

"Seonghwa!" you called out, pushing your way to get to him as he was trying to get to you. But then another voice calling his name broke his attention away from you.

Seonghwa looked towards the source of the voice only to find his partner by the tables, her dress stuck between two tables and for some reason she didn't seem to be able to pull herself out.

If you weren't in such a panicked state, you'd roll your eyes and call her out on her bullshit.

Your eyes flit between her and Seonghwa as Seonghwa's flit between you and her. You were hoping that he'd ignore her and run to you instead so you both could go to safety.

But your heart broke when he shot you an apologetic look, mouthing out 'sorry' before running to help his partner.

You can actually feel your heart shatter seeing that in a dire situation, he had chosen the girl that you had explicitly told him you don't trust, that you think she has it in her to steal him away from you. But he didn't seem to care.

Slowly, your feet began moving on their own. You couldn't even register where your feet are dragging you to. But as you reach the door towards the balcony, you look back to the sight of Seonghwa holding his partner closely before going where the other members of his organization are going.

And that was the last time you had seen each other for the night.

The shoot out went for quite a while. Apparently, a rival organization caught wind of the party and decided to use this opportunity to infiltrate the mansion to steal something. Their plans were foiled and that's when all hell broke loose.

When Seonghwa and the others managed to kill and capture their rivals, things began to finally wind down. Most people had already fled the scene, being part of the criminal world surely gave them the knowledge of what to do when a shoot out happens.

There were some guests left, those who hid behind tables or were unable to escape due to fear, and sadly, those who were caught in the crosshairs.

Seonghwa sighed at the sight in front of him, bodies lying on the ground, some belonging to their rival, some were members of his organization, and some were the unfortunate guests.

He looked around to see the lower-ranking workers carrying bodies on a stretcher with a white cloth covering everything. His eyebrows furrowed at the sight, no matter how long he's been involved in the mafia life, he couldn't seem to shake his sadness away when seeing innocent victims.

As he looked around, he saw Wooyoung walking back to the hall where the party was held merely an hour ago. "Wooyoung!" Seonghwa called, running towards the guy to catch up to him. Wooyoung stopped in his tracks and looked back, waiting for Seonghwa, "Hey, what's up?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Have you seen (Y/N)? The last time I saw her was when I went to help my partner a-" "you helped your partner instead of making sure (Y/N) was okay?" Wooyoung cut him off, an incredulous look on his face. Seonghwa was caught off-guard at the tone his friend used at him, "yeah? She was stuck and needed my help, I couldn't just-" "she's a member of a fucking mafia, she kills people for a living and on a daily basis, you really think she couldn't have gotten herself unstuck?" Wooyoung scoffed.

Seonghwa only stared at Wooyoung with a confused expression, not knowing how to answer him nor how to defend his choice in the predicament after Wooyoung explained the situation his way.

Rolling his eyes, Wooyoung nodded towards the door by the table that once had the champagne tower, "Last time I saw her, I told her to run and get the hell out of here," he said simply. Seonghwa muttered a small 'thanks' to him and was about to run to look for you when Wooyoung put a hand on his shoulder, "Just so you know, what you did will change things forever between you two, you got a heck load of making up to do," he said simply before continuing his previous path.

He realized that Wooyoung was right. So he immediately set off to find you, wherever you are.

His instinct told him that you're still around, considering his car is still in the parking lot and that you hadn't known anyone else in the party, he deducted that it wouldn't be possible for you to have gone back.

Even so, you were nowhere to be found. He tried looking everywhere inside the mansion and outside in the garden, but there were no signs of you, not even when he asked the other guests and members of the organization that were still around.

He stepped out to the grand front entrance and look around but only seeing people carrying the bodies of the deceased. He was starting to get worried.

"Seonghwa!" a feminine voice called.

He snaps his head, hoping to see you, but only to be greeted by the sight of his partner jogging towards him. For the first time ever, he rolled his eyes at her and went back to trying to locate you.

She, on the other hand, didn't seem to get the hint as she suddenly hugged one of his arms, "Hey, I was looking everywhere for you, I was worried," she said, pouting at him.

Seonghwa tried to pry his arm off of hers, but she held tight. Wooyoung was right, she's beyond capable of getting herself unstuck, so why did he went to help her instead of you?

"I don't have time for this, I'm looking for my girlfriend," he said gruffly, still trying to push her off as his eyes trail on the people around.

"Oh, come on, I'm sure she's perfectly fine somewhere, maybe even with Wooyoung," she said ignorantly.

At the insinuation that you'd be with Wooyoung, Seonghwa snap his head towards her and was about to say something when suddenly the sight of your dress caught his eyes.

He'd recognize the sparkly indigo dress that he had personally picked for you from miles away. For a second, he forgot about his partner and was about to run towards you.

But his steps halted at the scene in front of him.

Seonghwa hadn't processed that the piece of your dress that he saw was from underneath a cloth that covered your whole body that's rested on a stretcher.

He could feel his heart stopped, his head spinning, and his breath hitching. He was trying to convince himself that you're okay, that you're simply unconscious and is resting, waiting to be taken to the hospital to be treated.

When he realized that a couple of workers were about to carry you away, he sprinted and yelled for them to stop.

As soon as he arrived by your side, his trembling hands held on the piece of dress that peeked out. Again, he tried convincing himself that everything's okay, that maybe this is not you. Slowly, he pulled the cloth back a little to expose your hand. The ring that he had bought you to commemorate your 2nd anniversary brought dread to him for the first time ever. He used to love seeing it on your finger, showing people that you're taken, but not this time.

Bracing himself, he pulled the rest of the cloth off of you. "Oh no," he choked out and finally broke down when he saw your pale, lifeless face. The same face that greeted him every morning and accompanied him every night, the same face that would scrunch up whilst cleaning his wound when he came back home from a mission. The same face that dropped in disappointment when he decided to go after the other girl in her last moments.

He can't believe your last memory of him was him turning his back on you, his last conversation with you was when he called your feelings childish and uncalled for, that the last time he held your beating heart was when he pushed you away so he could talk to people he didn't even care for.

All he could do now is held onto you as he cried, hand going over the wound that ultimately ended your life. Several bullet holes littered your body, but he seems to be focused on the one that's directly on your heart. He thought about how much pain your heart must've born, how much the pain he inflicted on you must've hurt much more than the bullet that struck through. He thought about how he should've gone to you to ensure your safety.

Seonghwa, the usually reserved and collected man, didn't even care about the attention he drew. People around were looking at him with much pity, those who knew him wanted to comfort him but didn't know how to, even Wooyoung can't help but shed his pettiness over his older friend when seeing him wailing over his loss.

But Seonghwa didn't care.

How could he?

When the only important person in his life was ripped away from him before he could make amends.

Without thinking twice, he stood up and carried you off the stretcher. The workers that were supposed to take care of the deceased stood silent and unsure, yet they didn't stop Seonghwa even when he began to carry you towards his car.

"Don't worry, I'm taking you home so you can rest," he said with tears still streaming down his face. He looked down at your face, he could fool himself and say that you're only sleeping, that tomorrow things will be better. Yeah, for now, he can do that.

Once he put you on the front seat securely and went over to the driver's seat, he leaned down and press a kiss to your forehead lovingly, "I'm never gonna leave you anymore," he said before turning the car engine on and drove off.

[midgardianweasley]

I‘d love to see you write an angsty fanfic with Natasha x reader (male or female is up to you) with a bad ending of your choice.

No pressure of course ✨

as requested Violet!! I hope it's okay<3

How could you do this to me?

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha hasn’t been around recently and Y/N’s been really missing her company, but that changes when some CCTV footage is discovered.

Warnings: Cheating, swearing.

Word Count: 3.6k

there was an attempted proof read, but sorry in advance if i've missed anything!!

message/ask to be added to the taglist<3

Requests are open!

You weren’t surprised when you woke up to an empty bed once again, the space beside you missing a red-head assassin. You’d grown used to the sight of bedsheets spread lazily on your side of the bed, almost completely thrown off of the edge. It wasn’t unusual, however, the feeling of disappointment that lingered in your chest every morning never eased with time.

‘I’m just off to train, baby.’

‘I need to go and see Fury about this next mission, you go back to sleep’

‘I forgot to debrief the team last night, so we need to have a meeting this morning instead.’

‘Off to get some breakfast, my love. I’ll save you some eggs.’

Those were the typical reasons you received whenever you questioned where she was going in such a hurry in the mornings. You knew she was busy, of course you did. But, you missed the mornings when she’d pull you back into her chest, refusing to let you leave until you gave her a few kisses, which never ended up just being kisses, but you always gave in either way.

Now that you think of it, you can’t remember the last time she held you. Not properly. She used to hold you in a death grip, so tight that you could almost feel her heartbeat in your own chest. Nowadays, you were lucky to get more than a few taps on the back, it felt like you were being congratulated for something.

You’d always brushed it off, thinking that you must’ve been selfish for wanting so much of her attention, you had to be more understanding of how demanding her job is. It wasn’t like you never tried, you did, everyday. It would just be nice to feel her love for you a little more, even if it was just a quick peck before she left in the mornings.

“Hey Wan’, Hey Vis” You smiled at the pair as they stood at the kitchen counter, cracking eggs and buttering some toast. They loved cooking together, Wanda always told you how cute it was when Vision was trying to learn, especially after his fiasco with the Paprika.

“Hi Y/N, want something to eat?” Wanda handed you some toast, which you took gratefully, slowly munching on it.

Vision looked up as though to engage in conversation, when he then looked around in confusion. “Where’s Ms. Romanoff?”. You shrugged.

“I’m not sure, I think she’s training, I’ve not heard from her yet.”

You were looking at Vision, but it was near impossible to miss the sympathetic look Wanda was giving you. She knew about how you’d been feeling with Natasha not being around so much, she had tried to help, to hint to Nat that you’d been feeling a bit neglected for a while now, but she hadn’t gotten very far.

“Nat, nat, I just think that maybe you should spend a little more time with Y/N” It was obvious the assassin wasn’t listening to her, shrugging it off and trying to walk past the witch, only to have a hand pressed on her chest to push her backwards.

“Wanda, I need to go, I'm running late.”

“you’re always running somewhere. I'm sure Fury, or Tony or whoever you’re in such a rush to see, can wait. You haven’t seen your girlfriend in forever.”

“I saw her last night.”

“Crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning and sleeping next to her, isn’t seeing her, Nat.”

Her words fell on deaf ears as she watched her friend turn around and walk the other way. She could’ve used her powers to stop her, she didn’t see a point though. She wasn’t listening, and she couldn’t force her to.

“It's fine though, honestly! I can hang out with you guys today if you’re not busy?”

the couple shared a look of awkwardness before looking back towards you.

“Actually, we were going to go into town and do some sightseeing. You’re welcome to join us though!” She smiled, not wanting you to be alone, which you were grateful for, but you couldn’t intrude.

“No no, don’t worry! I think I've got something Tony wanted me to check out in the Lab, now that I think about it.” You didn’t. “You guys have fun though! take pictures!” You winked, knowing full well that your best friend didn’t believe you, she hesitated before nodding her head in agreement and beginning to walk off with Vision in tow.

__________________

An hour or so went by, you still hadn’t seen Natasha at all, or anyone, really. They all seemed to have disappeared to do their own thing, leaving you to find yours. So, you found yourself wandering into your lab, where you found Tony observing the screens with an endless amount of data changing every couple of seconds. You never really understood how he made sense of it all so quickly, but you’d always been intrigued nonetheless.

He must’ve sensed someone was there, as he broke away from his train of thought and glanced over towards you, fully acknowledging how your shoulders were slumped and your eyes lacked your usual sparkle. Tony alway had a soft spot for you, he’d known you for years, taking on a role similar to a father’s. Seeing you look so defeated recently, it’d hurt him a little more than he cared to admit.

Gesturing for you to come in with a gentle smile before moving and adjusting various chunks of metal on the table in the centre of the lab.

“Ah ah!” He tapped the bridge of his nose

“You can’t be serious! Tony I-”

“Nope”

“I’m a grown woman!” You laughed in disbelief at his

“Yes, you are, and I do not plan on taking said grown woman to medical because she got a shot of electricity through her eyeball. Put them on.”

You rolled your eyes, picking up a pair of the obnoxiously large lab goggles and put them over your face. He really took being a ‘father figure’ too seriously sometimes. With your goggles on, you took yourself over to where he stood, hoping to help him out somehow and keep yourself occupied.

You watched him move around blueprints on the screen above. “So, whatcha working on?”

“Well, remember that last mission we went on? How that ended?”

“Well, considering I had to get bullets removed for the last two hours, I’d say I remember pretty well.”

His face cringed slightly “Yeah, that’s the one. I’m basically just trying to layer the suits more, but keep the weight to a minimum so that there’s more protection, but the speed and mobility is almost, if not, the same.” He pondered, mind wandering off again to try and figure out how he could make this work.

Suddenly springing to action, he started assembling some pieces together, chucking some aside and reaching for different tools he required.

Looking towards you, he tilted his head “Can you pass me the-”

His sentence was interrupted. “Hey Tony, hey-” Banner. You didn’t mind Bruce, he was always quite quiet and polite most of the time, a little awkward, but, when you have a literal Hulk inside of you, it’s probably the least of your concerns.

You waved at the Avenger. “Hi Bruce” You gave him a friendly smile, for it to be returned with an awkward gaze, which he tried to quickly shove off.

“Yeah, uh, hi, Y/N. W-what brings you here?”

“Oh, no particular reason, I wanted something to do so I thought I'd come down, just pay a visit.” He nodded, acknowledging your words but appearing a little on edge, almost.

“Hey, you okay?” You asked “You look a little pale?”

“Yeah, yeah n-no I'm fine, just a-a bit tired.” He stuttered before suddenly directing his attention towards the man standing beside you. “How’s it coming along, Ton’?”

“Not bad, I have a wonderful assistant to help me out.” he nudged you playfully.

“Haha, yeah. She’s great. Anyways, you seem to have a good hold on things, so, I’ll leave you to it and come back later.”

Neither of you had managed to get a word out before Banner had walked out and was already out of sight. You turned to face Tony again.

“Was that- did you find that weird at all?”

“I find most of the people in this compound weird.”

It was a serious question, but you couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the millionaire’s response.

“I do pride myself on it.”

“As you should. You’re the weirdest one.”

“Hey!” You slapped his arm. “Rude!”

“I’m kidding! Now, pass me that screwdriver, goggles.”

Chuckling, you threw him the screwdriver and zoned out thinking about Bruce’s weird behaviour. While Tony was right, the majority of us are weird. You couldn’t stop thinking about how unusual it was, even for him. You put it to the back of your mind though, focusing back on what the man beside you was working on. You’re sure it’s fine.

________________________

You thought you were going crazy. First you had Nat, who was disappearing every chance she got, Then you had Bruce who couldn’t look you in the eye and when you finally believed it couldn’t get any weirder, you picked up on some strange vibes from Steve.

“Oh finally! I was beginning to think no one else actually lives here.” You approached Steve who seemed to be walking and talking with Bruce, both taking a step back when they looked towards you.

“Hey Y/N, we were just-”

“We were just about to go and have a shower. Training.” Steve cut in, earning himself a glare and a shake of the head from the scientist beside him, subtle, so you hadn’t noticed, otherwise you would’ve questioned it.

“Oh? You were training too, Bruce?”

“Well, I-” He glanced at Steve. “Yeah. Yeah, I, uh, wanted to get some combat down, just in case I needed it.”

“Considering our last mission, I think we all should.” the super soldier quickly added, sending you an enthusiastic smile, which you had returned. You went to speak again, possibly inquiring as to whether or not they knew where your girlfriend was, but you hadn't had the chance as the pair of them quickly rushed off, muttering something about catching you later, leaving you on your own, once again.

What the hell was going on?

_____________________

Feeling defeated, you trudged your way into your bedroom, just wanting to shower, get into bed and sleep, and hope for some form of normality.

What you hadn’t expected, was to walk in and see the back of a familiar figure sporting the black suit she practically lived in, tying her hair into a low bun and beginning to change into some more comfortable clothes.

You were dating, so it wasn’t new to see Nat changing, but you still thought it would be decent to make her aware of your presence. The small “ahem” was enough to make her spin round and flash you a smile, her pearly white teeth on show.

“Hi babe, i’m just changing for bed. You okay?”

The words felt so unfamiliar to you, having not heard them in what felt like forever. Still, you decided to humour it.

“Yeah, yeah I'm okay. A bit of a weird day is all.”

She laughed, returning to laying out her clothes. “Well, we are surrounded by some weird people.”

“That’s what Tony said.”

There was an atmosphere in the air that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. It had always felt comfortable with Natasha, you would describe her company as being like a safety blanket, enveloping you with warmth and a sense of security. This felt different. It didn’t feel familiar anymore, it was like you were face to face with a stranger and the more you looked at her, the more it upset you.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Natasha put her palms on your cheeks, bringing your Y/E/C eyes to meet her emerald ones in the process. You hadn’t realised that tears had fallen until the pad of her thumbs gently brushed them away.

“I just, it sounds so stupid.”

“Tell me.”

You let out a sigh, eyes beginning to dart around the room. “It just feels like I’ve never seen you, I don’t remember the last time we’ve spoken and it’s, it’s been lonely.” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion at your response, lips falling into a frown, but you were quick to speak again.

“It hasn’t just been you though, I understand that work gets in the way, but, it felt like some members of the team were acting differently around me.”

“Really? Like who?”

“Well, I mean, Bruce could barely bring himself to say anything more than a sentence to me and I tried to speak to Steve just before I came here and he rushed off like his life depended on it. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being a bit paranoid.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Detka, I wouldn’t worry about it.” She whispered, hands pulling you forward with ease to bring your lips together. You smiled at the contact, you’d missed it.

You were so caught up in it, that you hadn’t noticed you were the only one smiling.

It wasn’t long before the both of you were interrupted by an electronic voice in the room.

“Miss Romanoff, Miss Y/L/N.” It was F.R.I.D.A.Y. “Mr Stark is asking for you both in the conference room.”

“Alright, thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y., we’re on our way.” Your girlfriend replied, rushing away from the kiss and leading you to the door.

Why was everyone in such a rush today?

_______________________

“So, I was messing around with some things in the lab, and I think I've found a solution to our suit issue. It’s still a work in progress because I'll need to tweak some things and then tailor them blah blah blah, but I thought I'd show you guys the latest. JARVIS?”

“Bringing up footage 182.”

While you waited for the video to be up and running, you took note of everyone sitting around you. For the most part, they looked tired, though you don’t blame them, it was pretty late.

Shuffling to your left, you held Natasha’s hand in yours, sending her a loving gaze before resting your head on her shoulder, just content that she was close by. She sat a little straighter at the action, careful not to push you off of her, but not entirely relaxing either.

The large tv screen lit up, a view from the corner of the lab came into sight where you could see Tony installing different wires and pieces of loose metal into the suit, watching it light up as he did so. He was in the middle of explaining what he was doing as the recording went on, when the screen suddenly turned to static, black and white lines taking over the screen.

“JARVIS?”

“Minor technical issue, working on it, Mr Stark.”

You caught Wanda’s eye across the table, a playful smirk plastered onto her face at the mishap, watching the billionaire get stressed over a television. You couldn’t help but laugh at the words flying from his mouth as he started hitting the remote, as if he was someone who didn’t understand technology.

It wasn’t long before an image appeared back on the screen, however, this wasn’t the same recording. This is from the gym. It focused on one of the square mats in the middle of the room where two people were sparring. One of which, you immediately recognised as Natasha.

The other person definitely wasn’t a girl, their hair was short and muscles so big you were worried that one slice would be the end. It zoomed in a little, and from the blonde hair and dark blue outfit, you pieced together who it was.

“Oooh, Black Widow and the SuperSoldier, one vs one. Now this should be interesting.” A previously tired looking Sam clapped his hands and leaned forward, now fully invested in the scene in front of him.

You turned to Nat, who now looked a little paler than she did before.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, don’t tell me, you lost this spar?” You joked, expecting her to join in and tease you back. Instead, her face displayed an emotion you weren’t entirely sure of.

Before you could question it, you noticed the room fall silent. Not even a breath could be heard in the room. Your head turned slowly, meeting a mixture of shocked and sympathetic faces. And that was when you saw it.

Nat had kissed Steve, and he didn’t stop her.

If you weren't aware of your heartbeat before, you couldn’t be now, for it felt like it had completely stopped. Your jaw fell as your eyes filled with tears, only worsening the longer you saw the two of them on the screen. It was only turned off when a third person walked into view, not needing to ponder on who it could be, you immediately faced guilty stares. Three of them.

“You- you kissed-” You stuttered, incapable of forming a sentence towards your teammate. “And, you knew?” Your voice broke, tears now beginning to find their way down your cheeks for the second time as Bruce couldn’t bring himself to answer you.

You swiftly rose out of your seat, attempting to keep yourself composed until you could be alone.

“Baby-” Natasha murmured, trying to take hold of your hand, which you snatched back before she could lay a finger on it.

“Don’t.”

“Please-”

“Leave me alone.” You spat, speed walking out of what now felt like an overcrowded room.

You didn’t hear it, you’d left too early, but if you had stayed, you would’ve heard the team give Nat and Steve the scolding of their lives, mainly from Wanda and Tony, telling them how disappointed they were in them both. How they’d be lucky if you were to forgive them for what they did.

________________________

You don’t know how long you’d been sitting on your shared bed for. It could’ve been an hour, it could’ve been a couple of minutes. All you knew, was that you couldn’t stay in this room much longer, looking at the picture frames and the shared wardrobe, it just felt painful.

So, you walked over to your wardrobe and gathered every item of your clothing into your arms, lacking any care for if there were hangers or labels in the way, and chucked them on the bed and started to chuck it all into a suitcase intended for holidays but, you don’t see that happening anytime soon.

The sound of sniffles and rustling was all you could hear in the room, so much so that it was suffocating, and it didn’t help when you heard the door creak open.

“What are you doing?” A voice squeaked. Natasha stood beside the door, fidgeting with her fingers as she anxiously bounced from one foot to the other. You didn’t even bother to look up in her direction, focusing solely on getting out of there as soon as you could.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened, I didn’t mean it.” You scoffed at her attempt at an explanation. “I love you.”

That’s what made you whip your head to see her red and puffy eyes, if this was any other situation, you would’ve rushed over and engulfed her in a hug, tell her that everything would be okay and you’re there for her. Now? All you felt was anger.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have kissed him.”

“I didn’t know-”

You stood up straight, almost laughing at her choice of words. “You didn’t know? Bullshit. I’m pretty fucking sure everyone is aware when they kiss someone. Did you know when you were kissing me then? Or did you not know that either?”

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“I don’t think I care.”

She tries to step closer to you, only for you to take one back, holding your hand out, indicating for her to stop.

“No. no, you know what Nat, you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to treat me like a stranger for weeks, like I'm sharing a bed with someone I don’t know, for you to then kiss someone else and expect me to forgive you. You have no idea how I've felt these past weeks, blaming myself and thinking I was selfish for wanting your time. It’s funny, really.”

She looked away from you, regret taking over her features, both of you now having tear stains covering your rosy red cheeks.

You broke the silence once again. “Was that the first time?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Y/N-” She pleaded

“Answer the question, Natasha.” You spoke through gritted teeth.

Silence returned to the four walls.

“Get out.”

“No, no, we-” She stepped forward, only to halt herself when she realised what she was doing.

“There is no ‘we’. We’re done. I’ll have my stuff moved back into my room by tonight, though I'm sure it won’t make much of a difference to you.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Whatever.”

She walked out of the room, hesitating slightly, wondering if it’s worth staying and trying to figure out whatever this is. She shook her head to herself, knowing she’d fucked up. There wasn’t a fight anymore. It was done.

Collapsing on the bed, the feeling washed over you again as the finality of it all set in. You didn’t stop though. You packed your clothes, your perfumes, all of your loose hair ties and left the room with only one thought on your mind.

Natasha won’t even notice the difference.

Taglist: @natashas-favourite-knives @wandaromanova

[taechaos]

Silent Treatment

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you.

warnings: slight angst, drugs, arguing, dubcon, cunnilingus, mild degredation

word count: 4.2k

tags: @mwitsmejk @1-in-abillion @kooookie

a/n: the request (contains some spoilers). i'm gonna take a very short break from this couple to write other requests!! hope u enjoy 💗

The shift in the Spring weather is unpredictable. One moment it’s chilly, and the other sunny. Humans can only adapt so much, and it causes an outbreak of common colds. Most people recover easily, handy medicine soothing their sore throats, syrups suppressing coughs, and nose sprays ridding the blockage. You, on the other hand, are not that lucky. With a weak immune system, you’re very careful to not get sick, but there must have been a slip-up because you’ve somehow lost your voice after catching a cold.

You sniffle and cough, but you can’t speak. It’s advised to not exert your vocal cords in cases like these, and that is just so unfortunate for you. The last thing you’d ever want to do is spread your sickness to Jungkook, and that meant not getting too close to him; it meant no kissing. 

A very large white placard is spread out in front of you on the wooden table, and you’re plastering printed images of a specific global issue on it. You’re sitting on a bench with two of your friends as they chatter mindlessly while you work. Jungkook has a project about climate change due in a few days, and it’s supposed to be very important for his final grade. You’ve already written him a script for his presentation along with a stick prop to point at specific pictures. It’s fun, glittery and he’s going to love it. 

“Hey,” Minnie, your friend, calls for you, “we’re going to get some coffee from Starbucks. Want us to get you green tea?”

Soyeon laughs when your eyes light up; it’s your favorite beverage, and it’s supposed to help with your sore throat. They leave with a smile after you give them a hyper nod and you’re alone as you adjust your woolen scarf around your neck. You need to heal as fast as you can so you’re no longer missing your beloved’s affection.

Jungkook has been feeling more inclined to approach you without reason lately, but that doesn’t mean it’s a common occurrence. Getting teased by his friend, specifically Taehyung, about having a sissy crush on a girl like yourself angered him to no end. A hit always got him to shut up, but not for long. He’s walking your way today because there’s no one around to judge him for talking to you. 

You’re tearing a double-sided tape when he sits on your table, carefully avoiding your materials. Your breath hitches as his eyes gloss over your work in progress. “Working hard, I see,” he comments with disinterest. He doesn’t say anything about your efforts, but he’s impressed. The corner of his lip tugs upwards before he leans in for a kiss. You have enough self-control and concern for his well-being over your desires to lean back before your lips make contact. His face is close to yours as he pauses and slightly frowns before trying again. He receives the same results and finally pulls back. 

“You did well,” he frowns at you and speaks as if you’re a child, “I’m praising you.” Your eyes are darting back and forth awkwardly and you don’t know what to do other than sit in silence. You put your hands on his knees as a resort and his frown deepens as he watches you. “I can take a hint, you know. You don’t have to fucking ignore me.” He roughly shoves your hands and stands up before storming off with a scoff. You’re torn between following him and being responsible over your belongings. You can’t let his grades go to waste because of a small misunderstanding, so you decide to text him instead. There’s always a possibility someone might steal his project. Or maybe after he’s cooled off? You delay the message, but somewhere in your heart, you’re satisfied by his reaction because it’s clear that he wanted to kiss you.

Heavy footsteps clomp against the sidewalk before Jungkook slumps on the seat next to Taehyung. It’s an isolated area for smoking students at the back of the campus, and his friend group is no exception to this role. They’re taking drags of cigarettes individually as Jungkook glares at his boots. They’re chunky and a bold black, and his dark outfit paints him as the big bad wolf. It fits, because he’s ready to attack when he’s filled with so much resentment. Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you. It doesn’t make sense, but you also grimaced at him, but then why were you doing his homework? He’s feeling frustrated, and upset all the same.

“Someone’s troubled,” Seokjin points out with a mouthful of smoke. “Kookie?”

Said boy only grunts in response.

“Did the lousy girl finally see you for who you really are and leave you?” Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to mock him with a pout. “Tragic.”

“Shut the fuck up, Tae,” Jungkook spits and sends him a death glare, fire flaming in his fierce eyes. “Go actually talk to a girl or something, and leave me alone. I can’t take your shit right now.”

The low blow doesn’t affect Taehyung in the slightest as he holds up his hands in defence with comically wide eyes. “Relax, tiger.”

“Moving on from Tae’s inability to talk to girls in broad daylight, what’s up with you Kook?” Namjoon butts in, earning a fake cough from the receiving end of the insult.

He pauses for a moment before babbling, “I hate those bitches. My mother for one, couldn’t stand wearing clothes whenever she saw a dude. Moving on from guy to guy, unless they’re a fucking asshole. What do they want? Why are they never fucking satisfied?!”

A moment of silence passes among the huddled friends before Yoongi breaks it with a joke, “Who’s the lucky girl?” It doesn’t land as Jungkook deeply sighs in response. “Did she cheat on you?” he tries again.

“No,” he murmurs.

“Then…?”

“She… I don’t fucking know, she gave me the silent treatment. She leaned away from me too,” he shakes his head with a quiet groan, “it just doesn’t add up. I got mad and left.”

“No way that could’ve ended up badly,” Taehyung chuckles but purses his lips when he’s sent another dirty look.  “How long was the interaction anyway?” 

“Like 30 seconds.”

“Are you coming out tonight?” Yoongi asks and puts out the burning tip of his stick. “Could help you feel better.”

“And we’ve got molly,” Namjoon adds.

“Yeah, fine, whatever.”

Alcohol’s effect on a person differs in moods, and Jungkook is usually a horny drunk. Being a sad drunk is a first for him tonight, but he’s just so confused. It made his heart drop when you outwardly refused his advances and anxiety blossomed in his chest, which he has no idea how to deal with. It kicked in fight or flight instincts, and he just… hated the idea of you not loving him, even if it’s momentary. He can’t bear staying in a situation that makes him feel so insecure, and that feeling is supposed to be left in his childhood. You just about brought out the worst in him without doing anything. 

You didn’t do anything.

It’s 10PM and he’s waiting on your usual good night text that he never responds to. It’s so pathetic, and he hates himself for being so used to your affection that it worries him when he’s deprived of it. He’s never doubted your love for him, but his insecurities are churning his gut. It’s an overflow of all of his pent-up emotions, and he can’t handle it.

“Here,” Taehyung pops in out of nowhere, clutching a pill in his hand. There’s a bottle of water in the other as he holds them out for Jungkook to take. “Stop moping and get laid.”

“I’d say the same to you, but you’d probably start crying during sex,” he mumbles and uncaps the bottle before throwing in the pill and washing it down with the water. “Thanks.”

“See that girl over there?” he ignores him and steps behind his miserable friend to point at the owner of the sultry gaze directed at Jungkook from the bar. “She wants to fuck you. Or maybe me, but I’m passing her onto you.”

“How kind of you,” he sarcastically replies.

“Uh-uh, so you’re gonna be in ecstasy in about 10 minutes. Don’t fuck this up.” He slaps his shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen. It’s a lonesome party because not a lot of people are allowed in when drugs are involved. Causing a ruckus, receiving a noise complaint and then getting arrested is out of the question. 

He isn’t interested in sex with a stranger - not today at least -, but he hopes for it to change as he waits to approach her. Maybe drugs will rile him up enough to have fun with someone else and rid his mind of you. It’s an annoying itch on his brain, so he rests his head against the couch to comfort himself with the soft fabric. He’s sleepy from the beer he drank earlier, and he doesn’t know how time goes by so fast when he closes his eyes.

A few minutes must have passed, because he’s starting to feel dizzy in his seat. A smile carves on his face as his mind grows slightly fogged, and he opens his eyes to find the girl quietly chatting with a friend. When she glances at him, he beckons her to come over. She mouths a “be right back” to her friend before strutting in his direction.

“Hey,” she smiles down at him before sitting on the couch. She’s aristocratic, chic and pretty. “Sorry if I weirded you out earlier.” Her voice is sweet like honey, and her words flow out of her tongue so naturally. A dream girl, really, and Jungkook is starting to get horny.

“I don’t mind,” he reassures with a subtle seductive tone, “what’s a girl like you doing with this crowd? You look too innocent.” He wraps a finger around a strand of her hair and twirls it. It feels strange.

“My friend sent me here, told me to watch over someone,” she lowly speaks. “I’m Soyeon.”

“Nice to meet you, Soyeon,” he breathes before crashing her lips with his. His hand reaches down to grip her thigh, tongue poking out to swipe the sticky gloss. It’s flavored, and it tastes of strawberry. When she kisses him back so slowly, innocently, it turns him on so much. His pants feel tight around his crotch as he runs another hand through her soft hair. Compared to him, she’s passionate whereas he’s sloppy. He’s starting to get dizzier, and it feels so fucking good, but he hates it.

There is not a single reason for him to not enjoy this, not when his mood is lifting so high. The hand on her thigh lands on her cleavage instead and she’s so submissive and shy, but something’s off. He groans into her mouth before biting her lip, ripping a whine out of her. Why does she sound so sexy and annoying?  

He pulls away from her before sighing in irritation. “Fuck, I can’t do this.” 

“Did I do something wrong?” she asks worriedly.

“No, just, fuck.” He starts laughing before rubbing his palms on his eyes, “I really want to fuck, but I just can’t.”

“We can just chat,” she softly suggests. “What’s your name?”

“Jungkook.”

He removes his hands from his face when she goes silent. Her eyes are wide and she’s gaping at him… guiltily? “Crap,” she hisses quietly, “I was supposed to make sure you were okay. My roommate is like, super in love with you and asked me to come here.”

He says your name in a question, wondering if it’s you. When she nods, he asks for your dorm instantly.

“She’s in room 124… Why?”

When he stands up, there’s a sway in his posture but he recovers quickly. There’s an involuntary grin on his face as he thanks her ignorantly. He’s out of the villa in a rush, and he has the overwhelming urge to just run. The campus is a bit far away from the house, but he doesn’t care as his footfalls echo in the dark streets. He has so much energy to waste, and with his current stamina, he’s confident he’ll find you before dawn. It’s stupid but it’s fun, and he doesn’t care for catching his breath as the corner stores pass by him in a blur. 

Throughout the two hours of his reckless jog, where he mixed up directions multiple times, his mind is starting to clear up little by little. He’s happy because of what Soyeon told him, and he feels relieved upon seeing the familiar college building. He’s not allowed in dorms at this time, but he’s done this too many times to get caught. Except he was drunk in those instances, and being on MDMA was different. Sneaking past security was tough because he couldn’t bring himself to tiptoe without making so much noise. When they glanced at him, he thought it to be the only choice to just run past them. He’s in the elevator by the time they catch on, and the numbers look wonky in his eyes but he presses the button for the right floor. 

He’s shifting his weight repeatedly in an attempt to contain his excitement; he wants to see you so bad. The moment he hears the ding of the elevator, he’s running past the halls and stops upon seeing 124. He has to squint, but he knows this is your dorm. 

You wake up with a silent gasp when there’s a pound on the door. You clutch your sheets in fear until someone starts to sing your name. “Jungkook?” you mouth to yourself. You stand up and look through the peephole and there’s a man on the other side who’s bouncing on his feet impatiently.

“Open up,” he sings loudly. You’re worried when you swing the door open and yank him inside so he doesn’t wake up any other students. You try to talk but only a wheeze comes out, so you switch on the light to see him instead. The brightness hurts your eyes as you close them for a few seconds. “Well, well, well, look who we have here…”

He starts to circle around you slowly and stumbles behind you. “Sending people to spy on me after rejecting me like that.” His words are slightly slurred and you turn around to face him with a pout. You point at your throat to give him a hint, but his eyes don’t waver from your pleading ones. “What are your intentions, huh?” he weakly pushes you, “Sending me mixed signals. Who- who do you think you are?”

You hold his hands and place them on your neck, trying to communicate with him by mouthing, “I’m sick,” but he only chuckles. He seems sickeningly joyous, but he’s not over his anger. “Still not going to talk to me? What did I even do?”

You deeply inhale from your nose because he’s not paying attention to you. You’re frustrated with yourself until he yells, “WHY WON’T YOU TALK TO ME?” The surge of serotonin, his state of euphoria is crashing down on him the more you ignore him. He had believed the drug would only make him happy, but it intensified his sadness and anxiety just as much when he saw you. It helped him forget you in a social circle, but you confused him so much after he was reassured for so long - coupled with your silence, he’s raging.

“Why are you ignoring me?! What did I do that was so bad that you can’t bear talking to me anymore? You told me you loved me, please,” he chokes and tries to swallow the lump in his throat. “I-I’ll make it up to you, I’m so sad right now. Just say something…”

You’re watching him in shock and a hint of fear from his fluctuating mood. You want to cry at how pitiful he looks, but instead you aim to grab a piece of paper from your bedside table. He misreads your actions and pushes you against the wall. “Stop this. Stop!” He has your arms pinned and he’s trying so hard to intimidate you so you give in. A dry sob leaves you because he's going mad, but then he has a sudden epiphany. “Maybe you’ll love me again if I fuck you hard enough and engrave it in your brain that you’re mine. Yes, yes!”

He starts unbuckling his belt and you immediately try to stop him; he’ll get sick! He shoves you again and pulls down his jeans before mashing his mouth against yours. All of your efforts have gone to waste when his tongue forces its way down your throat. There’s no point to denying him now, so you hesitantly kiss him back. You’re so guilty, and he’s so careless as he roughly pushes his hand down your white cotton shorts. You’re wearing a navy blue sweater to match so you don’t get cold in the night, but the shorts are meant to prevent a fever. What’s the point now, then? He hasn’t even read your texts that you only remembered to send before sleeping. He missed a whole paragraph of your explanation and confronted you so angrily.

“I’m going to fuck you all night,” he growls against your lips, “then you’ll remember how much you love me.” Your moans are quiet and hitched as he presses down on your clit through your panties. His other hand is on his cock as he strokes it eagerly, ready to get inside you. “I missed you so fucking much in one day,” he whispers in a croak. Hearing it makes you feel even warmer inside as you nudge his hand to urge him to enter you. “You missed me too, huh?” he takes notice of your neediness. “Shouldn’t have fucking brought it upon yourself then.”

He removes his hand from your shorts and taps your thighs before demanding, “Jump.” You bite your lip in consideration until he taps them harder and you quickly wrap your legs around his waist. Your shorts are relatively short, resembling loose boxers, so when your back is pressed against the wall he only pushes them and your underwear to the side before thrusting into you. A scream gets caught in your throat, and you forget all about your aches as he roughly fucks into you without caring for protection or lube. It stings only slightly, but the pleasure in feeling so full of him outweighs the pain.

Jungkook is moaning and groaning as he bruises your thighs in his hold. Your panting is all he can catch, and though the feeling of you is an amplified sensation because of the drug coursing in his system, he wants to hear you chant his name as well. “Still quiet?” he tuts and carries you to your narrow bed and you cling onto his shoulder while trying to catch your breath after the sudden attack. “Your cunt is throbbing though,” he says as he pulls out of you and drops you on the bed. He manhandles you by flipping you on your stomach and holds up your ass. He finally takes off your bottom clothing, but he’s slightly dizzy as he yanks them off your ankles. He spreads your thighs apart and you’re on your knees with your head against the mattress. “I wonder why that is,” he says before slapping your pussy, making you whimper quietly. “So wet, yet you don’t even make a sound. Some whore you are.” You purse your lips and muster a whine, but it’s interrupted when he pistons his cock inside you without warning. Your sounds are hoarse as he pounds into you from the back, hands kneading your ass to the shape of his hands. He gives it a spank as he moans loudly; the new position makes it feel so much more intense, and Jungkook loves it. His ears finally get to hear your pathetic mewls as he thrusts so deeply inside you that your vision blurs with tears and your eyes roll to the back of your skull. You feel like a doll that can’t speak or move, and he’s evidently enjoying it going by his rushed pace. You’re challenging him with your silence, and he loves proving himself.

All of a sudden however, he stops moving. You look behind you with a pout and he quirks a brow at you. You grit your teeth because you know he's waiting for you to tell him to continue, or rather daring you to do something. A sudden surge of confidence overcomes you and you gently slam your hips against his, fucking yourself on his cock with your eyes screwed shut.

“Yes, baby,” he strains, “show me that you're still my good girl.” At his encouragement, you meet his thrusts faster and you're seeing stars at how amazing it feels. You want to be his good girl so bad, and you arch your back to savour the pleasure. “Your pussy is mine, all mine,” he affirms to himself and stills your hips to turn you around without removing his length. His fingers are digging into your flesh and your tits bounce under the fabric as he rams into you restlessly. Your mouth is open in a silent scream and he can barely make out your pupils, the whites of your eyes stirring his climax at how attractive you look under the poor lighting. “I love you so fucking much,” he cries, “say it back, baby.”

You try to, but you can only dryly cough. “You fucking bitch,” he hisses at your defiance and pulls out of you to pump his length. He’s close to his release, and he pushes up your sweater to see your hard nipples that make him salivate. He crawls to slide his cock between the valley of your breasts and it hurts when he harshly pushes them together. “Stick out your tongue,” he commands in a whisper, and you do so while panting like a dog. Every time he thrusts upwards, the tip of his head grazes your tongue and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. He’s massaging your tits as he stutters between whines, and eventually his load spurts out to land on your chest and cheek with a particularly loud groan. His cum surges down his shaft as he rides out his high with the last slow thrusts. 

“Oh fuck,” he sighs airily and collapses next to you in the tiny space available. You clumsily turn on your side to give him more room and he pecks your swollen lips. He zips his pants back up and you’re still naked from the waist down. You’re staring at each other adoringly in the romantic, fragile atmosphere; another first.

“I love you,” you croak finally. It’s quieter than a whisper, and it makes you cringe at how hideous you sound; it’s painful as well.

His face lights up once he registers your words before noticing the tone. “What happened to your voice?”

“Sick.” You can’t bring yourself to say anything more as you snuggle into his side and he instinctively wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“Shit,” he murmurs, “why didn’t you tell me that sooner, idiot?”

You slap a hand on his front pocket where his phone is, and he hastily takes it out to see a bunch of notifications from you. “You sent it at night, you’re still the idiot.” You giggle and roll your eyes. “A promise is a promise, though,” he purrs before cupping your bare heat. “I did say I would fuck you all night.” You widen your eyes when his head lowers down to face your sopping wet cunt, and he slowly licks up a stripe over your soaked folds, making you shudder and grip his hair. He’s leaving kitty licks all over your sensitivity, the tip of his tongue lightly brushing against your clit every now and then. Your hips lift involuntarily, and he finally takes your clit in his mouth and sucks on it loudly. He slurps your arousal before spitting it back on your hood, and you can only squeak in response. Your hazed mind only tells you that you want more, and he doesn’t fail to provide.

Two fingers enter your clenching hole, and he’s scissoring your walls as he messily eats you out. The pleasure from earlier returns all too soon and you know you won’t be able to last long. His lids are hooded when you glance down at him and the way he’s looking at you makes it even harder to resist your orgasm. The knot in your stomach picks back up right before unraveling and your moan is raspy as you start twitching under his relentless mouth. He grows gentle and leaves kisses all over your vulva until your body falls limp on the sheets.

After another round of penetrative sex, the two of you fall asleep from exhaustion in your bed. It’s a first for the both of you, and Jungkook decides in his drunken mind that tonight won’t be the last. It feels so intimate when he cuddles you, and you won’t ever forget his love confession.

The next morning is not so pleasant however, as Jungkook wakes up with a loud sneeze and in his now nasal voice says, “God fucking damn it.”

[barry-j-blupjeans]

"What happens when, uh-" Angus paused, hands fidgeting on his stomach. When Lup looked over at him, she could practically see how tense the kid was. It seemed wrong, to be that tense while they were stargazing, but Lup had brought him out here with the intention of letting him talk about what was on his mind. Angus had been a mess all through dinner and he had spilled part of the pasta Taako had made down his shirt, which had only made him more anxious.

"Go for it, kid," Lup reassured. "I'm listening."

"What happens if you question your gender," Angus said. "But you still think your cis, in the end?"

Well, okay. That's not what Lup had been expecting, but she could roll with this. She leaned a bit, so she was laying on her side to look at Angus, instead of on her back looking up at the stars. Behind Angus, she could see the few lights that the residents of the town nearby still had on. She watched one get extinguished.

"Well, uh," Lup said. "Then you've just learned something about yourself. Not everyone who questions their gender is gonna be trans or non-binary, or anything. But if everyone took the time to just like.. think about it like that. About exploring their gender, I mean. I think everyone would just be a lot more... chill, y'know?"

"Yeah," Angus said smally. "I... was trying it out. With my friends, at school- not that I don't trust you and Taako and- and everyone! But- but I didn't wanna ignore the idea that like- I could maybe be trans. I think, though, it's just that I'm- I'm cis. Just more... non-gender conforming, I think is the word. Like I know certain clothes aren't for certain genders, of course. Nothing is. Renounce gender roles, respect gender identity, all of that, but- I do think I'm just a guy."

"That's alright," Lup said.

"Is it?" Angus asked, tugging at the end of his sleeves anxiously. "I'm afraid to go back to my friends and be like "hey, actually! I'm just a guy, after all." I have lots of friends who- who fall under the trans umbrella, at school, and I don't want them to think I was... making fun of them, or anything."

"When I came out to Taako," Lup said, watching Angus carefully. "There was a lot of the same things that you're dealing with right now, that he was dealing with then. He kinda.. explored his identity for a bit. And in turn, that helped him understand himself better. As far as I know, Taako is still like, a cis guy, right? But he's not afraid to step outside things that are "typically masculine" because we both know that's all bullshit.

"And through him doing all that, Ango? I never once thought "oh he's trying to make fun of me" or "oh, he's trying to copy me", because I knew he wasn't doing it in a malicious way and he was just trying to get to know himself better. Isn't that what you're trying to do? Get to know yourself better?"

She saw Angus nod, just barely moving his head.

"I just thought..." he started. "That like I could- I could try it out. I feel... uncomfortable with me, but it helped me realize that a lot of that uncomfortableness wasn't because of my gender, it was just because I have like- a shit load of trauma, Miss Lup."

"Ah, yeah," Lup said, facing back towards the sky. "What's your therapist say about that?"

"She's helping," Angus said earnestly. "A lot, I think! But some of the things, like gender and stuff, I just wanted to... figure out myself, first, before I got anyone else involved. Which is why I'm scared about telling my friends that I'm just cis, because I thought I was getting somewhere, then."

"I get that, dude," Lup said. "But if they can accept that you thought you were trans, then there's not gonna be a problem with them accepting that you discovered yourself a little better and you're actually just cis."

"You're right," Angus said. He looked a lot more relaxed now. The night sky was glinting off his glasses. Lup sat up, stretching.

"'Course I am," she said. "I'm gonna go back inside, but come in whenever, okay? I'm sure if you wanna talk with Taako about this, he'd be down."

"Alright," Angus said, face towards the stars. Another light got extinguished over his shoulder.

[jonsa101]

Episode 3x14: A Reflection of How Max Stepped Into Love After A Season of Suffering

Gif credit @supagirl

Hey guys! I can’t believe the season finale has come and gone! I think my mind is just taking time to comprehend everything that has happened! Sharpwin is officially canon! As I’m typing this out, it feels strange writing a meta on the other side of things. Since season one, I’ve been writing metas about how these two belong together and making predictions about the trajectory of their relationship. Now, to be on the other side of things where I know longer have to do that because these two are finally together is kinda crazy. I feel so elated!

Now y’all, I’m not going to lie to you, I had a totally different meta planned out and that meta is still in my drafts. I will probably release it because it was a general review of the episode but I thought it was more important that I put this meta out first. When I was watching the finale live, I didn’t love it. I just didn’t. I loved that Max and Helen finally got together at the end of the episode but I had a major issue with how it unfolded. The issue my friends was this scene right here: 

Baby!!! When I tell you this scene TRIGGERED me, it did! Now mind you, I wasn’t upset with Max’s storyline of searching and struggling to take off his wedding ring. It is human nature for Max to still have an emotional attachment to his ring. He’s not still grieving but essentially that ring is the only thing he has left of Georgia and represents a life he once had. Him taking it off was always going to be a monumental moment for Sharpwin and for himself. The issue that I had was Max casually telling Helen that he freaked out about losing his ring!!! To me, after the voicemail he left her, after Helen flew standby and was in a six hour flight to see him, it was an incredibly CALLOUS thing for Max to say. I know Max wasn’t thinking in this moment. I know his intentions were clearly not to hurt her but words matter and him being careless with his was a complete disregard of Helen’s feelings. She was deeply hurt and upset when he said this and rightfully so! I mean just look at her expression here:

Helen’s entire being read like

“I can’t believe you”

And girl same, because neither could I!! He knew he fucked up and he obviously made up for it in the end but y’all when I was watching it live, everything that came after that elevator scene was was tainted for me. I had a hard time believing that Helen would let what he said slide so easily and in the moment, I couldn’t appreciate the beauty of them finally coming together! 😩 In my personal opinion, there were so many other ways that scene could have played out without Max having to literally tell Helen to her face that he was worried about his wedding ring! I know they were trying to build up to the “big moment” where he finally takes his ring off and runs back to Helen’s apartment but man, that moment did not sit right with me in my spirit! It still doesn’t and I don’t think my opinion will ever change on this.

With that said, I’ve now done several rewatches of the finale where I specifically watched the scenes after that awful moment by the elevator. As I’ve had time to reflect, my perspective has changed. I no longer view the moments after the elevator scene as tainted but as something deeply profound and beautiful. Hell, even as I reflect on that scene by the elevator, I still don’t like it, but in a way I understand it in how it relates to Max’s overall journey when it comes to Helen. To me, Max Goodwin is a man who fell deeply in love with Helen in the midst of the most complex situations and a season of him suffering. It’s been deep rooted, complicated and messy from the start and over the past three years we’ve seen Max navigate through the complexities of his feelings for Helen and the circumstances he’s found himself in on our screens. I think when you look at season three finale and specifically the journey of Max finally making a choice to be with Helen, you have to put into context Max’s history and how it influenced what that looked like. So y’all that is exactly what I want to do in this meta so let’s dive in.

One thing I think we need to acknowledge is that, even though as an audience we have loved seeing Max and Helen’s journey unfold, the road has been so TOUGH for them. As Helen said in 3x13, it’s been a fight! Especially for Max. The suffering he has endured over the past three years has been unfathomable and much of his relationship with Helen and his feelings for her have been developed under these traumatic and tragic circumstances. 

At the very beginning of the series, when Max and Helen first meet they clash but it doesn’t last for long. It’s his first day at New Amsterdam and as the new Medical Director, he wants her to stay at the hospital and treat patients instead of doing press tours. Helen on the other hand wants to continue doing press and for the most part ignores his demands for her to return to the hospital. When she finally does return, she does so because she learns that Max has cancer. This bonds them at the onset as Helen is the only person in his life that knows about his diagnosis. As an audience, when we first see them interact, we instantly saw the sparks fly between them. Their chemistry and natural witty banter made us immediately take a look at their relationship and what potential they could have in the future. Though we were shocked by his cancer diagnosis, I think the fun and lightheartedness of Sharpwin’s first interactions really masked how traumatic this must have been for Max. On the first day of his dream job, that he sacrificed his marriage for, he learns that he has cancer while having a baby on the way. Those are the awful circumstances that first bring Max and Helen together. 

As Helen becomes Max’s doctor and he swears her to secrecy about his diagnosis, their friendship and bond grows deeper. His passion and drive to help his patients, reignites Sharpe’s love for medicine again and inspires her to put her patients first. They become vulnerable with each other more than anyone else in their lives. He confides in her about his broken marriage and she tells him that she wants a baby. When he almost dies, she becomes his deputy medical director so that he can focus on his care. All of these moments are significant to them because somewhere along the way they develop feelings for each other. They didn’t plan for it and it’s something neither of them are consciously aware of but unknowingly, they both start to fill a place in each other’s lives that was clearly more than a doctor and patient relationship or a friendship. This “place” wasn’t called out until episode 1x16 were the clairvoyant called out their feelings for each other. When episode 1x17 comes around, after a night of revelations and a scramble to get the power back on in the hospital, Helen decides to step back as his doctor. If she wasn’t aware of her feelings before, in this moment, she’s fully aware of them now. This is an effort to safeguard her heart and set boundaries because the lines of who they are to each other were already so blurred. When she “triages” their relationship Max’s reacts badly and honestly they’re both devastated and are on the verge of tears:

As viewers, we loved this moment but when you peel back the layers of what’s actually going on in this scene, it’s gut-wrenching. The subtext is so clear here yet their situation is so complex and layered. We know for a fact that Max wasn’t trying to lose her in ANY CAPACITY. We also know that in the way he TRULY wanted her he couldn’t have her and Helen knew that too. Not when he was married, had a baby on the way, and fighting cancer at the same time. Y’all that’s hard and profoundly painful when you think about it and it makes this scene all the more tragic. 

When Helen steps back as his doctor, at first Max seems to be handling it well but as his cancer starts to get worse, he completely breaks. Like I said earlier, over the course of his cancer treatment, Helen filled a place in Max’s life that was so much more than just his doctor or his friend. So when he’s dying and no longer has the person he feels deeply for play an active role in his treatment, he lashes out. He’s dealing with a range of emotions he can’t handle or properly process. Things only get worse from there and at the end of season one Georgia and Luna’s life are on the line and Bloom and Helen scramble to save them. When it seems like everyone was able to come out of that traumatic event unscathed, they get into a devastating ambulance crash that changes everything. 

Season 2 brings another level of pain and suffering for Max when he loses his wife after the crash and is thrust into single fatherhood. Not only is he grieving but he’s also dealing with guilt of falling in love with Helen while he was married. The complexities of his feelings is something he struggles with throughout this season and it affects his relationship with Helen. At some points he pushes her away and at others he desperately needs her. Once again, Helen and Max’s relationship is caught up in the most complex of circumstances that is riddled with agony and trauma. 

By time we head into season 3, Max doesn’t even have time to breathe or think about his relationship with Helen because they’re both thrust to the frontlines of the pandemic. 

I bring all of this up again to emphasize that there has never been a time where Max and Helen’s relationship hasn’t been wrapped up in trauma or some sort of suffering. It has always been one thing or another with them. It’s been A LOT and Max has tried to navigate being in love with Helen through his suffering and under these crazy ass circumstances. So after rewatching the finale, the questions that run through my mind are:

How do you step into love when all you’ve known for the past three years has been suffering?

How do you love openly and freely when for so long you’ve emotionally suppressed your feelings for someone because it was “wrong?” 

How do you let go, heal, and move on with your life?

To me, answering these questions is what the season finale for Max was all about. When you’ve suffered so much and endured so much it’s not easy to step into a new chapter in your life that’s hopeful and filled with love and possibilities. For Max, I don’t think in his wildest dreams that he ever imagined that he and Helen would be in a place where they could actually be together. Considering everything they’ve gone through, quite frankly it’s a fucking miracle! So when he actually makes it to the other side and not only SURVIVES but has a chance for happiness, I don’t think he knows what he’s doing. Pursuing/having feelings for Helen from a place that isn’t wrapped up in trauma and tragedy, where there are seemingly no obstacles in his way, is totally and completely new territory for Max. I think he’s clueless in how to do that in the right way and as he navigates through that, naturally there are hiccups.

That’s evident with what he said by the elevator and also in this moment here: 

Max doesn’t have a clue but he wants to make sure that he doesn’t fuck it up because he DESPERATELY wants this! I also think there’s something to be said about how we as human beings can self-sabotage ourselves when we finally have an opportunity to get what we want. Fear, guilt, worthiness usually comes into play with that and I think for Max there was definitely a fear with moving on with his life, guilt of surviving it all and having a chance to be with the woman he’s loved for so long, and a question of if he’s worthy of actually having happiness.

Their walk in my mind perfectly embodies him self sabotaging while also trying to navigate his feelings of desperately wanting to be with her. At the beginning of their walk, you see that at one point he clearly wants to hold Helen’s hand but he doesn’t (I would use a gif here y’all but I literally only have room for 10 😩). I’m focusing my attention on Max here because essentially this whole moment between them is a part of Max’s “mini story” in the episode. The ball has always been in his court and truly what we are witnessing is his journey to step into love because Helen is ready and has been waiting on him. 

The most compelling moment in their walk scene for me was this one: 

I find it strange for Max to walk so far ahead when he was the one who asked her if he could walk with her. My first thought while watching it live was “what is he doing” and I think Helen’s expression reads the same way. After analyzing this for a bit, I genuinely think that’s the point of this scene. Like I said earlier, Max doesn’t know what he’s doing. To be with Helen like this is, where its romantic, peaceful and drama free is probably blowing his mind and he doesn't know how to navigate this. He doesn’t know how to receive this second chance at happiness. 

The internal war of Max stepping into love or allowing fear, guilt, and unworthiness to hold him back becomes all the more evident when they get to Helen’s door: 

He knows he wants to come in. Helen know he wants to come in too. This man literally says goodnight twice and when Helen responds with “you said that,” it perfects this scene. She wants him to come in as well but she’s not going to ask him to. In this moment, she sees his internal struggle and she knows that he has to make the choice himself on whether or not he wants to move on with his life with her.

When he walks away, for a moment that was Max choosing to hold onto the pain and trauma of his past. That was him choosing to hold onto the guilt that was keeping him from healing and moving on. With the suffering he’s been through, it makes sense. In many ways he’s been conditioned to fight, to suffer and to endure. It’s what he’s used to. But praise the lord, he thinks of the moments he just shared with Helen. 

The joy he has with just being in her presence. 

The opportunity he has to freely be with her and have a life with her after loving her for so long.

He is not condemned to a life of suffering. It was only for a season. He’s in love with Helen and wants to be with her. Like hell is he going to let this opportunity at a second chance of love and happiness slip away from him. So guys, he slips off that ring, runs back to Helen’s apartment and makes a choice to step into love. Step into this new, uncharted, chapter of his life with Helen Sharpe. 

Anyway guys! I hope y’all enjoyed this! I might be releasing one more meta but we will see how it goes.

As always feel free to reach out to me on Tumblr and on Twitter @oyindaodewale. Love you guys!

[the-iceni-bitch]

I Fear We’re Facing A Problem

Pairing: Carol Danvers x enhanced!Fem Reader

Words: sorry, laptop is still being a bitch so it’s another mobile

Summary: You convince Carol to join you on a night out and a good time is had by all!

Warnings: WLW, explicit language, explicit sexual content (spanking, oral sex (f receiving), mentions of using a dildo), violence (but nothing too gory, just standard canon stuff), SMUT, 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: Another from my WIP folder and my second WLW fic! (Which I really need to write more of btw cus this was a real treat). I also may have accidentally stumbled on a little something that I had never thought of before but that is most likely going to be coming in the future, see if you can pick up those hints! 😉

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!!!

Carol dodged a beer bottle as she stepped into the bar, cursing to herself before scanning the room for additional threats.

And boy were there a lot of them.

When you had drunk dialed her 20 minutes ago, noting your intention to start a fight with some chauvinist assholes, she hadn’t really believed you. But there you were in the middle of a full on brawl, punching some idiot in an army uniform in the mouth before grabbing a pitcher and breaking it over his head.

Carol moved forward as one of your victim’s companions grabbed you around the middle and lifted you off the floor. She tossed aside some moron in a leather jacket easily as he came at her with a broken bottle before wrapping her arm around the neck of the jackass that had you in a hold.

He choked and released you, his hands scrabbling at Carol’s forearm. She ignored him as you launched yourself over the table and kicked another of the army boys in the face before turning and shooting her a grin.

“Hey Danvers!” You said, grabbing another assailant by the back of the neck and tossing him across the room with a shrug of your shoulders.

“Y/N, what have I told you about drinking by yourself?” She said, dropping the man she was holding with a thud as he had finally passed out. She ducked as someone across the bar threw a stool, catching it in midair and hefting it back at him.

“I wasn’t by myself.” You said as you ripped a leg off one of the tables and cracked it across some guys back. “Thor was here, and he brought some bomb-ass mead.”

“That asshole left you here by yourself after getting you drunk on Asgardian mead?” She was going to have to have a talk with that idiot next time she saw him.

“Unlike someone, Thor knows I can take care of myself.” You said with an eye roll before breaking a beer bottle and plunging it into the thigh of some new moron.

“You’re not the one I’m worried about, sweetheart.” She scolded as she caught the leg of one of the idiots and threw him across the room.

“Oh, it’s sweetheart now?” You said with a snort before head butting someone.

“I am so not having this discussion with you right now.” She said before punching some asshole in the ribs.

“We gotta have it sometime, though.” You laughed as you caught a fist in your palm and drove your other hand into the idiot’s elbow until you heard a snap.

“Well maybe if you tried asking me out when you were sober, we’d get somewhere.” She said sarcastically, dodging a punch and throwing the puncher one handed into the ceiling.

“What?!? Y/N, I leave to get you sustenance and you start a fight?” Thor thundered, absorbing a couple of blows before picking up one of the army brats with one hand and striding towards you, hefting the grease soaked bag above the fray.

“Thorsie baby, you got my burrito!!!” You said giddily, tossing the man who was trying to stab you aside as you hopped on a table and pounced on the Asgardian, making grabby hands at the food.

“I can’t believe you left her unsupervised after giving her mead.” Carol said as things finally started to calm down as the bar patrons eyed the god who had just strode in with wariness. She slapped down a giant wad of cash on the bar, hoping it would be enough to cover all the damages.

“She was hungry and getting insistent, I didn’t think she could start anything in half an hour.” He said with a bit of a pout as he ignored your eating, your legs still wrapped around him as you moaned around your burrito.

“You’re a fucking enabler, Odinson.” Carol said with a shake of her head. “Did you forget about Helsinki?”

“Ha, that was a good time!” You said around a mouth full of burrito.

“It was an international shitshow, Y/N.” She said as Thor guffawed. “Poor Nat had to do damage control for a month. What am I gonna do with you?”

“You could make me your housewife.” You said teasingly before taking another giant bite of your burrito, slowly unwrapping yourself from Thor as you arrived at Carol’s Jeep.

She rolled her eyes at you as you gave her the most ridiculous doe eyes she’d ever seen. “You’re so fucking manipulative.”

“Please, I’d be a damn amazing housewife.” You grumbled, waiting for Thor to crawl into the backseat. “Isn’t that right, Thorsie?”

“Her pancakes are delectable.” Thor said with an appreciative nod.

“See?! I’d make you pancakes everyday baby!” You whined as you buckled yourself in.

She just shook her head at you as she started the engine and pulled out.

You stuck out your tongue at her before turning to Thor over your shoulder. “Well, since Danvers here has a fear of commitment,” you said, ignoring her scoff. “ you want to make an honest woman out of me, Odinson?”

He threw his head back and laughed heartily before clapping a hand on your shoulder. “I would be honored to have you for my queen, Y/N.”

“Alright, that’s enough you two.” Carol growled. She was starting to get annoyed with your antics.

“Oh, are you jealous?” You said as you turned back to her, grinning like an idiot. “Cuz just say the word babe and I’d leave Mr. Asgard in a heartbeat, sorry Thor.”

He just chuckled at the two of you as Carol finally pulled into the compound, a scowl on her face.

“Let’s get you back to your room, Y/N.” She said resignedly, climbing down from the front seat and shaking her head at you.

“Are you gonna take advantage of me in my inebriated state, Danvers?” You teased as you stumbled out of the vehicle, Thor catching your arm and steadying you as he followed. “Cuz I’m down.”

“I’m gonna sober you up so you’re ready for the shitstorm that’s coming your way once your little bar brawl hits the news.”

“Ugh, lame!!!” You said with a roll of your eyes as you followed after her.

The three of you made your way to the living quarters, Thor holding you steady as you wobbled on still drunk legs, grinning and laughing with him as Carol marched in front of you. She shook her head at you two as you reached the door to your room. You leaned against the wall with a huff and a pout as she worked on unlocking your door.

“I’ve got her from here, Odinson.” She said as she got the door open, swinging it onwards and giving him his own look of reproach. “And don’t think your getting off easy, I already apprised Rogers of your role in this fiasco.”

“Ha, the Captain doesn’t scare me!” He said, doing a piss poor job of hiding the flash of worry that crossed his face. He turned to give you a grin and a kiss on the forehead before turning to leave. “Have a good night ladies.”

You turned to give Carol a knowing grin before she shoved you inside and followed after you, slamming the door behind her.

She finally let her face split into a massive grin now that the two of you were alone, a hearty laugh ripping from her chest that you reciprocated as she stepped into you.

“So, Thor knows then?” She said as she ripped off her leather jacket and tossed it aside, working on unbuttoning her flannel.

“Of course he knows, babe.” You said as you wrenched your tee over your head, moving to unbutton your jeans. “Pretty sure he figured it out as soon as it happened.”

“You didn’t tell him then?” She asked you with a cocked eyebrow as she stepped out of her boots and kicked them aside.

You rolled your eyes as you bent to untie your sneakers. “No, I don’t know why you want to keep it a secret though.”

“Mmm, I just like knowing that I get to do all these filthy things to you and no one has any idea about it.” She said as she watched you straighten back up, wearing nothing but your bralette and thong. “Now bend over the couch.”

“What?!?! Oh c’mon babe, we weren’t serious when we made that deal!”

“I was absolutely serious, sweetie. Now bend over and take your punishment like a good girl.”

You pouted and did as you were told, supporting yourself on your elbows as you presented your ass to her.

“Spread those legs further.” She ordered, tapping her toes against the inside of your ankle until you complied. “There she is. You’re lucky I’m feeling generous, we’re only gonna do 10 tonight, since you managed to keep your antics local.”

“Yes ma’am.” You said grudgingly, a shiver running up your spine as she ran her fingers up the back of your thigh.

The first smack jolted you forward suddenly, almost sending you tumbling over the couch as you dug your hands into the cushions. Carol ran her hand soothingly over the red handprint that she’d raised on your left ass cheek before bracing her other hand over your back and grinning down at you.

“That’s one.” She said, her fingers brushing over your clothed core and making you whine before she slapped your other cheek just has hard. “Two.”

She made the same soothing gesture over your right cheek before spanking you directly above your clenching pussy and making you scream.

“Ooh, three.” She said, biting her lip as she rubbed her hand in a big circle over your sex, feeling the dampening cloth of your panties with a satisfied smirk. “Fuck, baby.”

She gave two more slaps to each cheek in a quick succession that had you whimpering and sinking into the sofa, your knees starting to give out. Her next smack was over your core again, and you whined as a fresh rush of arousal flowed out of you and started to leak down your thighs, the fabric of your panties now soaked completely through.

“Love how wet my baby gets.” Carol cooed before shredding your panties with a quick twist of her wrist and flinging the ruins aside. She sucked in a breath as she got a look at the mess between your legs; plump swollen folds flushed with heat and pulsing with need as juices flowed out you. “Just two more. Think I can make you cum from just a spanking?”

Her ninth slap was right over your entrance and made you twitch as she kept her hand curled over your mound, just pressing against you as she felt the muscles of your core throbbing under her fingers. She took a layer of slick with her when she withdrew her hand, and you peeked over your shoulder to watch her suck your arousal from her fingers.

“Carol...” you whined, your breath coming in needy little pants as you waited for her to give you your last spank.

“Such a needy little baby. You better ask me real nice sweetie, otherwise I might just tie you up and leave you all frustrated. Maybe I’ll make you watch me fuck myself on that stormbreaker dildo you’ve been keeping secret. Would you like that?”

“Fuck, Carol! Please, please fucking spank me! I promise I’ll be your good girl!” You moaned, trying to press yourself back into her hand, desperate for release.

“Aww, but I don’t want you to be a good girl.” She said.

Her final spank was a direct hit to your clit, and you screamed as your entire body spasmed. Your fingers dug into the couch cushions as you squirted all over Carol’s hand, your knees finally giving out as you sobbed with pleasure.

“Oh, I knew you could do it baby.” She said as she started to press soft kisses down your back, her hand still in between your legs rubbing in big, slow circles over your pussy with just enough pressure to drive you crazy. “Love making my bad girl fall apart. Don’t you dare start behaving now.”

“Yes ma’am.” You sighed into the cushions as you came down.

Carol ran her lips and tongue over the swollen marks she’d left on you, her hand an your core starting to press into you harder. You gasped when she suddenly pulled you apart, her fingers spreading your folds and barely giving you a chance to adjust before her tongue ran over your slit in a heavy stripe.

“Shit!” You cried as you thumped your first against the sofa, your cunt clenching around nothing as Carol lapped at your sex like it was the first drink she’d had in weeks.

She grinned against you, slipping a finger inside you and making your keen as her lips wrapped around your clit. You had to fight to stay upright as she slipped in a second finger, scissoring them inside you and stretching you open as she suckled at your tiny button, making you clench around her.

You let out an inhuman shriek when she added the third finger, thrusting yourself backwards into her face and fucking yourself on her hand as her mouth still worked at taking you apart. She shook her head to bury her face even deeper and you lost it, sobbing as your body tried to curl in on itself as your orgasm crashed over you.

Carol brought both hands to keep you from collapsing at the same time she pressed the flat of her tongue over your pussy, moaning as you throbbed against her face and she caught your release as it squirted out of you, swallowing it greedily as her lips wrapped around your sex.

Your body finally stopped shaking and she stood up behind you, curling over your back and turning your head so she could press her lips against yours. She teased your lips with your tongue and you opened up to her, whining into her mouth as you tasted yourself.

“Mmm, how you feeling baby?” She asked with a grin as she pulled away from you, taking your breath with her.

“Pretty fucking fantastic.” You said, beaming back at her. You flipped yourself over until you landed on the couch with a huff, making her roll her eyes at you. “Really wanna make you feel good too, beautiful.” You said with a wink.

“Yeah? How you gonna do that?” She said as she watched you reach under the couch, searching for something.

“Oh, I’ve got a pretty good idea.” You said as you straightened back up, placing a long black box on your lap. “I don’t know how you found out about this, but it’s gonna blow your fucking mind. Say hello to the stormbreaker.”

You opened the box to reveal a massive, pretty realistic looking dildo and Carol let out a guffaw as you wiggled your eyebrows at her suggestively.

“I love you sweetheart, but I’m not letting you fuck me with a dildo based off one of our best friends!”

“Don’t be such a square, baby!” You said, standing up to chase after her as she headed into the bedroom. “He’d be flattered!!”

Tags!!!

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@chrissquares

[redrobbingabank]

Syndicate Foster AU Chapter One

No one knew much about Philza Minecraft. Ranboo was pretty sure that that was because Philza Minecraft wanted it that way, and what Philza Minecraft wanted, he got. 

Not in a bad way. The man was a good one, an oxymoron in the world of rich people Ranboo saw on the news when he bothered to watch it. He didn’t come up often––that’s what happens when you choose not to be known––but Ranboo had yet to see him wrapped up in any sort of scandal.

The list of unknowns about Philza was long to anyone outside his circle, and for Ranboo, it had just gotten longer. As he sat in the chair outside the social worker’s office, purple backpack hugged close in his lap, he couldn’t get the question out of his mind: Why in the world would some billionaire choose to foster a teenager?

Fostering anyone was enough of a question. Fostering a sixteen year old, only two years away from ageing out, was downright baffling.

Ranboo picked at a hangnail. It didn’t matter how he turned it over in his head. It just didn’t make sense. The whole thing felt far too weird, and not nearly real enough.

He looked past his worn out sneakers to the hallway around him. The linoleum floor was peeling where it met the wall, and the wall’s paint wasn’t faring much better. Everything was the same shade of grey, like snow when it turned into slush. Through the confused haze filling his mind, Ranboo hoped Philza’s house had some sort of color.

The door opening next to him made Ranboo jump. His social worker stepped out first, followed by Philza. Ranboo shot to his feet, swinging his backpack over his shoulder.

Philza smiled at him. “You ready to go, mate?” He was shorter than Ranboo. Ranboo did not like being taller than Philza Minecraft.

He nodded silently. Philza had a manilla folder in his hand. Ranboo’s file, holding everything the system needed him to know about the kid he was fostering. Ranboo had never actually gone through it himself. He’d never had a reason to, but now, knowing someone else had seen it, he was curious. What did it say? Did it list his problems? If it did, was his insomnia one of them?

His social worker smiled at him. “You’re all set, Ranboo,” she said. “I hope you have a good experience.” The last part was quiet, meant for Ranboo alone. There was no reason to plant doubt in Philza’s head about his parenting skills.

Ranboo felt his throat closing up. He’d never been around Ms. Parks much, past the times she handled his movements between houses, but she was still the most constant figure in his life. “Thanks, Ms. Parks,” he said tightly. 

Philza gestured towards the elevator. Time to leave again, to go blindly to a new home with no idea how long it would last. Tightening his grip on the backpack’s strap, Ranboo led the way in and pressed the button for the ground floor. They were quiet on the way down, on the walk through the lobby, out the doors, and to the black limousine waiting out front. Philza gestured for Ranboo to get in first, then sat down across from him.

“Is that all you’ve got?” he asked, nodding at the backpack.

Ranboo, who’d become a little transfixed by the striped green bucket hat Philza hadn’t taken off since… ever, actuall, now that he thought about it, scrambled to answer. “I––uh––yeah.” He glanced down at the bag self-consciously. Was it not enough? Was he supposed to have more?

Philza didn’t look mad at him. He just smiled and said, “We’ll go get you some more stuff soon, then.” 

Ranboo froze. “Oh, you don’t need to do that, Mr. Minecraft, it’s fine, really. I don’t need anything else––”

Philza held up a hand, and Ranboo fell silent. “First, you can just call me Phil, mate. Second, I want to. We need to get you a uniform for school too, and a laptop, I bet.”

A laptop? A uniform? Ranboo was starting to wish they’d told him what being fostered by Philza Minecraft would involve. “I’m sorry… a school uniform? Why do I need a uniform?” Panic started climbing in his throat. He’d assumed that he’d just be going to the same school he’d attended for the past few years.

Apparently, Phil planned differently. “You’re going to go to Kinoko High School,” he explained. “It’s where Techno and Niki go to school. Speaking of, are you ready to meet them? Do you have any questions?”

Technoblade and Niki Nihachu, Phil’s two adopted children. No one knew where they’d come from. The two were unrelated, but shared the same shockingly pink hair and hatred for the media. Unfortunately for Ranboo, that hatred cut off his mental profile there. Everything else on the internet about the two was speculation and rumors. Actually… 

“Is it true that Niki punched a reporter once?” he asked tentatively.

He’d been worried Phil would get defensive. It wasn’t really his business, after all, what the Minecraft children did. But, much to his surprise, Phil laughed. “It is,” he said. “But the reporter had it coming. She’s really very nice when you get to know her, as long as you’re not a dick.”

Naturally, Ranboo immediately began going through everything he’d ever done to see if he’d committed some terrible atrocity that had slipped through the cracks in his memory. He was tempted to ask what exactly the reporter had done, just to compare it to his life, but decided to leave it alone for the day, and offered a weak chuckle of his own to match Phil’s.

“Techno’s a good kid too, of course,” Phil added. “Just… they’re both a bit quiet. They’ll probably give you plenty of space.”

“Oh.” Ranboo bobbed his head, hoping it would suffice as a reaction. It was actually a relief to hear that he wouldn’t be expected to integrate into the role of sibling immediately. The day was already making him tired, and the feeling only intensified as he looked ahead to his arrival at the house. House? He suddenly realized he didn’t know where Phil lived.

“Where are we driving?” he asked, looking out the window. It was all the same buildings he knew, rising above eye level into the sky. Secretly, he hoped for a house somewhere a little away from the city. A big backyard sounded cool. And a dog. A dog would be nice.

Alas, it wasn’t meant  to be. “Pog Tower,” Phil said. “We’ve got the penthouse at the top.” The route they’d been driving towards the center of the city suddenly made sense.

“Oh,” Ranboo said, and sank a little farther into the seat cushions. Not that he wasn’t grateful. It would be better than the monotones of the group home, at least. Maybe they had a cat, or a fish. It would be great.

His time to convince himself of that dwindled even faster as the limo pulled into the semicircle drive in front of the tower. Big plants lined the sidewalk and stairs, flowy green leaves going all the way to the big revolving glass doors. Ranboo had the sudden feeling that his stomach had dropped into hell and left the rest of him behind.

His legs felt like nerveless attachments as he got out of the car, hoisting his backpack over his shoulder. Phil walked around the car and stopped next to him. He glanced at Ranboo. “Ready?”

Considering how much he felt like an ant right now, Ranboo was getting very scared of how much time he was going to spend at the top of this building. What if he fell out a window? How long would it take him to hit the ground and become a grease spot?

“Yeah,” he said, and cringed. His voice had gone up an octave.

Phil gave him a sympathetic look. “Let’s go, then,” he said kindly, and led the way inside.

The lobby was even nicer than the entrance. The floor was all marble tile, spanning what had to be at least half the bottom floor of the tower. A receptionist sat at a kiosk-desk-thing in the center of the room. It had a top made of smooth black glass. Behind her, an elevator with gold-looking doors taller than Ranboo was centered in the wall.

Phil walked past the receptionist with a smile and a nod, which she returned. On his way past, Ranboo tried to mimic the greeting, but it ended up as an awkward ducking of his head. The receptionist smiled anyway. She was paid to do that.

Just that small screw up made the trip to the elevator feel like an eternity. It was an astronomical relief when the doors shut, Phil leaning forward to insert a key into the slot beside the switchboard and press the button that would take them to the top floor. 

“You don’t need to talk to anyone if you don’t want to, when you’re coming in,” he told him when he straightened back up, slipping the key back into his suit pocket. 

“Oh. Cool.” In Ranboo’s head, he sighed loudly. It was probably just him, but he felt like living on the tower was going to take a lot more social interaction than he was used to.

The elevator ascended fast enough to give Ranboo the free-fall sensation of a roller coaster before slowing down and stopping with a pleasant ding!. Ranboo had time to exhale once more before the doors were sliding open, and he was greeted by a living room bigger than the cafeteria at the group home, currently occupied by two teenagers arguing over a binder on the glass coffee table. At the elevator’s chime, they abruptly cut off. The girl slammed the binder shut, and they both turned to face him.

Niki Nihachu and Technoblade looked as similar as they were different. Niki came up to Techno’s shoulder. She had on a black sweater and jeans, pink hair falling loose around her shoulders. Her build was that of a distance runner’s. Ranboo vaguely remembered some old photo posted of her at a track meet.

Technoblade had a pair of thin-framed glasses and grey sweats. His braided hair was long enough that when he’d spun around, it whipped over his shoulder. Dark bags hung under his eyes, though they were sharp and analytical as he looked at Ranboo. The crumpled Monster cans next to him offered an explanation.

No one spoke for an uncomfortable amount of time. Finally, Phil waved. “Hey guys, this is Ranboo.” Ranboo felt a piece of his soul shrivel up and die.

Techno and Niki looked at Phil. They looked at Ranboo, then looked at each other. Then, the two lifted their hands and gave him a perfectly synchronized wave. Were they sure they weren’t twins? “Hey, Ranboo,” Niki said.

“Um. Hi. Did you guys practice that?” Ranboo asked nervously, clutching the backpack’s strap tighter. 

“Yeah,” Techno said, grinning. Ranboo felt slightly less scared. “We thought it was funny.”

Ranboo bobbed his head wordlessly. What could he say? If he’d been watching and not scared out of his mind, he’d agree. 

“Guys, maybe avoid the pretending to be psychically connected for a few days,” Phil said.

“This happens often?” Ranboo squeaked.

Niki shrugged. “Pretty much, yeah.”

The pair hadn’t moved from in front of the coffee table, both in positions that prevented Ranboo from looking at the binder they’d been fighting over. He glanced between the two, but their faces betrayed nothing except for calm friendliness.

“Well,” Phil interrupted the silence, stepping to the side, “Your room is upstairs. I can show you where it is, and you can hang out up there or down here until dinner. It’s whatever you want, really.”

Thank god, an opportunity to hide. Ranboo almost led the way to the stairs, but stopped himself. “Sure,” he said. Then to Techno and Niki, “It was nice meeting you.” Was that okay to say to new siblings? It was probably stupid.

Niki grinned. It was a sharp expression on her face. “Nice to meet you too.” She and Techno watched Phil and Ranboo until they were at the top of the stairs, then turned back to the binder and started arguing again in whispers. Ranboo resisted the urge to glance back. 

At the top of the stairs, Phil led him down a short hallway and stopped at the second door on the left. “Since we weren’t sure what you like, we left it mostly plain,” he said. “We can decorate it and stuff soon, though.”

“I’m sure it’s great how it is,” Ranboo said.

“Nah, it’s boring. I want you to like it.” Phil stuck his hands in his pockets. “Anyway, we’ll be around. If you want to hang out or need anything, just come tell one of us. You can do whatever until dinner. I’ll send Techno up when it’s ready.”

“Awesome.” Ranboo gave him one last smile and waited in the center of the room until Phil left, closing the door behind him. He sighed. Dear god, that was exhausting. Maybe he’d actually be able to sleep tonight.

There wasn’t much to do on his own. Ranboo set his bag down on the dresser and tossed the sets of clothing inside without much care how they landed. Then, he launched himself onto the bed and just… kind of laid there.

He wasn’t even sure what to think about. The house? How big it was? How it actually seemed kind of like a home, and not some rich person’s museum-slash-autobiography? Whatever Niki and Techno were arguing about? They definitely didn’t want either Ranboo or Phil to know what it was.

Ranboo closed his eyes. Purple spots floated behind his eyelids. Sometimes, he liked to try to watch the patterns, but it usually ended with feeling like he was free falling through the void.

A knock on the door jolted Ranboo out of sleep. “Yeah? Uh, come in?” he called.

The door creaked open just enough for him to see one of Techno’s eyes. “Dinner,” he said.

“Oh. Awesome.” Had it really been that long? Ranboo wasn’t really hungry; he’d actually rather go back to sleep, or whatever had made the time pass like that, but he stood up anyway. “I’ll be down in a second.”

“Awesome.” Ranboo thought he saw Techno flash him a thumbs up, but then the guy was gone, muffled steps walking down the carpeted hallway to the stairs.

Ranboo stretched his arms over his head and groaned quietly. Dinner. He could do that. He could do that, and then he could go back to sleep and be done with people for the day. Slowly, he shuffled over to the door. Just eat dinner and sleep.

Phil made dinner. Ranboo wasn’t expecting that. He wasn’t sure why he wasn’t expecting that, but it was probably related to his general impression of rich people. He cringed a little at how clearly wrong he was, at least about this family. Especially because Phil had made mac and cheese.

It was freaking good mac and cheese too, he thought as he ate, carefully watching the others to make sure he wasn’t eating the wrong way. So far, he was doing well.

The four of them sat at a big table in the kitchen. Niki and Techno sat next to each other across from Ranboo, who was alone next to an empty chair. When he first saw it, he thought maybe it was Phil’s, but then Phil had taken the seat at the head of the table. Through the entire meal, Ranboo’s gaze was drawn to the chair and the question if someone was missing from their group. 

“So, Ranboo,” Niki said casually, like they’d been friends for a while and this wasn’t the first conversation she’d ever initiated with him. Ranboo looked up and put down his fork to make sure she knew he was listening. “You start school the day after tomorrow, right?”

Ranboo glanced at Phil for confirmation before nodding. “Yeah.” He was actually doing his best not to think about it. Everytime he did, his heart sped up unpleasantly and his knee started bouncing and a lot of thoughts he didn’t have space for crowded his mind. He was eternally grateful for Sunday tomorrow, giving him a bit of a reprieve before he was thrown into it.

“I thought we’d go shopping tomorrow.” Phil joined the conversation with such ease that Ranboo almost stared. “We need to get you your uniform and some supplies. I also thought a new backpack would be nice. But if you want to stick with the one you’ve got, that works, too,” he added quickly.

Ranboo thought of the seam starting to rip on one of the straps. “No, a new bag would be awesome.”

“Great. It’s settled. Techno, Niki, do you two want to come?”

The two shared a glance and nodded. 

“Alright. We’ll go to the mall at ten tomorrow, I think. Does that sound good, Ranboo?” Phil asked. Everyone was suddenly watching him. Ranboo nodded quickly, if only to make them stop.

“Did you get your schedule yet?” Techno asked, looking at his plate instead of Ranboo.

“No.” Was he supposed to have one?

“We’ll get it tomorrow with your other things,” Phil told him.

“Oh. Okay.”

When dinner was finished, Techno and Niki were the first to get up. “We have homework,” were their parting words, and then they were out the door with a surprising lack of sound. The silence held until their doors closed a few moments later.

Phil set down his fork and turned his attention to Ranboo. “I’m gonna head off too, mate. The office called, and they want me to head in for a few hours tonight. Unless you need me to stay?”

“Oh, no, I’m fine,” Ranboo rushed out. Time alone would be good. He always found it easier to breathe when there were less people in the house.

“If you’re sure,” Phil said, standing. “Techno and Niki will help if you need anything, and my numbers are on the coffee table. You should probably put them in your phone anyway.”

Ranboo imagined the battered old model he had upstairs. The corner was bashed in from being dropped a few too many times, and the 5 button was fickle. He cringed a little at the thought of showing it to Phil.

“Will do,” was all he said. Then Phil, too, left, and Ranboo was alone in a kitchen in a new house with no real idea what he should do, except that he wanted to leave Niki and Techno alone.

With that in mind, he went to bed. Or, not exactly. He went to sit in bed with his legs crossed, hunched over his journal as he wrote everything that had happened that day down. It had been a long time since he’d lost a day, but that did nothing to remove the fear that at some point, he would.

A strange bang sometime later made Ranboo jump. He checked the digital clock on his nightstand: 1:15 am.

The noise reminded him of a window being shut, and for a brief moment, panic flashed through him like lightning. What if someone had broken in?

But that was impossible. They were at the top of freaking Pog Tower. Just to reassure himself, Ranboo got up and looked out his own window. The distance from himself to the ground made him close the curtains. Yep, no one would be scaling the building. He was fine. He was safe. 

Ranboo looked at the journal, still open on his bed. The moment when he’d gone from writing to staring blankly at the pages was a mystery. He sighed, closed the journal, and put it back in its place at the bottom of his backpack. He had to go shopping tomorrow… well, technically, today. Sleep would be a really great idea.

Not that saying it would make it happen. 

Nevertheless, Ranboo climbed into bed. This time, he got under the covers and made his eyes stay closed. The suggestions ran through his head: count, tell yourself a story, take deep breaths. None of it ever worked.

Sometimes, Ranboo really wished it did.

[i-am-distressed]

The one that (almost) got away

Character: Noritoshi Kamo x reader

Warnings: MILDLY SUGGESTIVE THEMES, not really cause I don’t write NSFW, but I did put a lil spice for tension and plot reasons, it’s really more just mentions of making out, fighting/sparring, mentions of injuries, exes to enemies to lovers, both parties being mean, Exchange Event Arc spoilers!!, I wrote this on a whim and very early in the morning, LONG

“Hey, L/n, you’re participating this year too? I thought the 3rd years were suspended?” You sighed as Maki’s face held her questioning gaze. “Well, since they did whatever it is that got them suspended while I was elsewhere on a mission, I got left out of the punishment. I’m here for the exchange event if you’ll have me.” The second years nodded, Maki and Panda giving you high fives while Inumaki gave you a thumbs up and a ‘salmon!’ Fushiguro giving you a little bow that you returned.

You, Y/n L/n, are a 3rd year student at Tokyo Jujutsu High, you’re also a semi-first grade sorcerer. You yourself didn’t come from an impressive lineage, but your cursed technique was nothing short of useful, and you had become a master at using it.

You briefed Fushiguro on your technique and you all decided which group you would be fighting in (it was decided you’d join Fushiguro and Maki) while you waited for the other school to show up. Not long after you came, Nobara arrived, and as she had her scuffle with Panda, Mai’s voice cut through the air. “You guys actually came to greet us? How lame.” You turned to see the rest of the Kyoto Jujutsu High second and third years walked up the stone staircase, naturally filing into a sort of line that stood parallel to your own group, you finding yourself towards the back.

“Hello, Y/n. It’s been awhile.” You felt your face heat up at his voice, you sucking in a quick breath before plastering a fake smile on your face, “Hello, Noritoshi.” Maki’s eyebrow raised as she looked between you and the Kyoto 3rd year, and it didn’t take a genius to see that there was an obvious tension between the two of you, she just had no clue what. “Do you two know each other?” Your gaze never left Noritoshi’s, his dark gray gaze never leaving yours as you found yourselves in the middle of an intense stare down. “We’re acquainted.” You watched as Noritoshi huffed, to most it would’ve been a trivial gesture, a simple sign of irritation. But you knew much better than that, you knew him much better than that. “Quite well, isn’t that right, Y/n?” You narrowed your eyes at the tone he used, he was testing you, you knew that, and you knew exactly what he was referring to.

Before you could respond, Gojo came barreling in, with a...box? He stopped between the two groups of students. Seeing as how you were ignoring the young clan head and he kept stealing glances at you, Gojo knew you two had interacted, and by the puzzled look he saw on Maki’s face, he figured it had gone poorly. ‘Poor kids...these stupid higher ups just don’t know when to quit..c’mon guys, I know you’re both smarter than this..’ Frowning for a moment Gojo shook it off, as a teacher and a passionate one at that, seeing his student (and someone he’s known for a fair amount of years) obviously suffering really rubbed him the wrong way but...there was nothing he could do. They’d have to fix it themselves.

After the...surprise of Yuji Itadori A.K.A Sukuna’s Vessel being alive was revealed, Y/n took a glance over to Noritoshi, seeing the obvious surprise on his face, she knew he was with the higher ups on this one, that Itadori shouldn’t be alive, that he shouldn’t count as a real person. It stung how much he had changed in a short period of time, and it stung even more knowing he was far too stubborn to listen to anything you had to say. Which, now that you think of it, isn’t all that different from you declining his calls..

You groaned as you splashed the cold water on your face. Shortly after the reveal of Itadori, the two schools had a good 3 hours of free time before the event, some students used it to train, others to socialize. You had already determined your role with the others, so while they sorted things out with Itadori you took your leave to the bathrooms to have some peace and quiet, and to try and snap yourself out of the headspace seeing Noritoshi had put you in. Getting a bunch of paper towels you thoroughly dried your face off, taking a deep breath before walking out of the bathroom and into the hall, but the minute you exited the bathroom you were met with none other than the man of the hour himself, Noritoshi Kamo.

You attempted to walk past him, go back to the room where your classmates were and avoid a confrontation all together. But before you could get far, Noritoshi had grasped hold of your forearm, forcing you to turn to face him before he (albeit reluctantly) let your arm go as his own returned to his side. “We should talk, we haven’t spoken since the fight and it’s clearly not doing either of us any good.” You crossed your arms over your chest, more out of unease rather than out of sassiness. “Is there anything to talk about? I thought we made it clear how we both felt the last time we talked.” Noritoshi frowned, leaning against the opposite wall as his arms mirrored yours as they crossed over his chest.

It was silent between you two, neither one knowing exactly what to say, it was funny really. You both have spent the last 3 months wanting nothing more than to talk things through, but now that the opportunity is here neither one of you have the courage to say the thoughts that have been plaguing both of your minds. “I just- I don’t know what you want me to say...you know how I feel about..everything..you know why I feel that way. And there’s nothing we can do about it anyways.” Noritoshi wanted to correct you, tell you that you were wrong, that there was something you both could do to get around the pressure of the higher ups, but there really wasn’t.

Well, there was, but that was out of the question. He couldn’t just up and tell his family they were wrong and he disagreed with them, not now anyway. 3 months ago, Y/n and Noritoshi’s relationship was very different. At the beginning of their second years, they had both been placed for promotion to semi-first grade, and to solidify their ranks they would be ‘interning’ with a grade 1. Usually they would do their ‘internships’ separately, since they were a fair amount of distance apart, but when the summer came both of them were sent to a sort of summer training camp to train together under the same roof.

Despite being different in personality and different in background, the two got along really well, and somewhere between exorcising curses through the day and training together at night, the two found themselves growing feelings for the other. And after a specific practice when one of them let a confession slip from their lips, the two found themselves becoming the Romeo and Juliet of the Jujutsu world. They started dating, dating in secret because neither of their families would be thrilled about it. Even after summer ended and the two returned to their respective schools, they kept their relationship intact.

They’d make trips to meet half way between Kyoto and Tokyo, one would drop in on the other if their mission was nearby, and they kept in constant contact. And they had managed to keep it a secret, neither one telling anyone about it and keeping their affections private and out of the watching eyes of the higher ups and other sorcerers. All was going well, until a certain first year student by the name of ‘Yuji Itadori’ became Sukuna’s vessel, and you and Noritoshi found yourselves on very different sides of the argument.

“I just don’t see why you can’t understand this Y/n, he’s dangerous. Sukuna’s vessel needs to be taken care of, how can you not agree with this?!” Your hands came up to rub at your eyes, you sighing with frustration before returning your hands to your hips. You and your boyfriend, Noritoshi, had been arguing for almost half an hour. You had been in a meeting with your teachers, Gojo and Utahime, when Gojo brought up his new student Itadori, and the power and potential Itadori held. You, after hearing he could control Sukuna, was all for Itadori joining Jujutsu High. I mean, Gojo would be watching over him, and his situation really wasn’t all that different from Yuta’s. But Noritoshi didn’t agree, he saw it as the higher ups saw it, he saw it as his family wanted him to see it. That’s what started the argument.

“What is there to understand about wanting him dead! He’s 15!” You two stood across from each other, both of you were breathing heavily, and your emotions were running wild. You didn’t want to fight, you didn’t want to damage your relationship, but with how sure both of you were in your decisions on where you stood, it was clear you weren’t reaching a compromise, not this time. He was frustrated because you weren’t looking at it objectively, you were upset because he was acting like the higher ups. And neither of you was willing to back down from your convictions, both of you being just a little too stubborn to put this disagreement to rest and move on.

“Then what does that mean for us? It’s clear we’re not reaching any sort of agreement, why can’t you just accept this when you clearly don’t know what’s best.” You shook your head in disbelief, a bitter chuckle cutting through as a few tears had begun to fall. “Good question Noritoshi, Are you going to ask your family what to decide on this one too?” Too far, you knew you had crossed a line, you knew his family was a touchy subject, but rationality had been thrown out awhile ago. His lips pursed in a straight line, his steel eyes narrowed and his gaze became cold, “I don’t have to confide in them, I think we both know what’s best for both of us.” It went silent, you were crying and he was seething, there was no rational thinking, you both were acting out of emotion and quite frankly not like yourselves. You shakily sighed, wiping the tears that had fallen while you shook your head, “...fine...goodbye Noritoshi..we should’ve known it wouldn’t work.” With that, you turned around and left, both of you wishing you had stayed and fixed it.

In the end, a petty argument was what ultimately drove the two of you apart. A stupid argument neither one of you were personally involved in, but the politics and ideals behind it were what drove you both to your wits end. You weren’t even mad at Noritoshi, you were more upset that you both let some stupid conflict be the reason you two broke up! I mean, words were said on both sides, but you were both rational people, you knew neither one of you meant it. And you both really just missed each other on top of all of that.

But like I said, it was a messy situation, and in order to make any progress, you’d both have to let go of your pride first and foremost. And as of right now, neither one of you really wanted to do that. Your stare down was interrupted by the sounds of Miwa and Mechamaru walking down the hallway, you both looking away from each other when the two second years rounded the corner. “Oh, L/n, Kamo! I was looking for you both, but if we’re interrupting, we can always come back later…” As they spoke, you both watched as a few more of the first and second years rounded the corner. “It’s fine,” Noritoshi briefly looked at you as he spoke, a silent ‘we’ll finish this later’ to which you covertly rolled your eyes before turning to your underclassmen with a smile. “We were finished talking anyways, what do you need?”

Miwa looked to you both, “Me and a few others wanted to get stronger with weapons we don’t usually use, me and Kugisaki wanted to try a bo staff so we asked Mai’s older sister but she said to ask you two, since you trained a lot together using them.” Your eyes widened as you stole a brief glance at Noritoshi before returning your gaze to the younger students. “So, if you don’t mind, could we observe a sparring session? Maybe get some pointers on how we can improve?”

“I don’t see why not, that is unless Kamo has a problem with it?” His eyebrow twitched at how you said his name, becoming that more irritated since he knew you knew it ticked him off. Nonetheless, he never was one to turn down a challenge, and especially not when you were the one really putting it up to him. “Don’t complain too much when you lose, L/n.”

And that’s how you found yourself in a man made ring in one of the training rooms, most of the underclassmen sitting on the sidelines as the two of you got into your stances, both of you trying not to acknowledge just how nice and nostalgic it felt to be in that position again. Panda acted as ref, reminding you and Noritoshi of the ‘rules’ before stepping back and yelling ‘start!’ Noritoshi attacked first, you blocking him and ducking to move to the side. You charged him next, him barely getting out of the way in time before spinning around and hitting you right on your backside, smirking when he saw how your jaw dropped before you spun around and caught him in his side.

“That’s pretty unbefitting behavior for the future Kamo Clan head, don’t you think?” He scoffed, and at this point the tension between you two had gotten so obvious even the most clueless were starting to get an inkling as to how exactly you two had known each other beforehand, and why you weren’t friendly to each other. “Ghosting me and blocking my number wasn’t exactly proper either.” You jumped just in time to avoid him sweeping your legs out from under you, but you weren’t expecting him to then use his staff to knock yours out of your hands. Not one to give up, you kept sparring without the staff, both of you slowly becoming oblivious to the watching eyes that were still very much engaged watching this all go down.

You narrowed your eyes at his last comment, and you used your legs to first kick his staff out of the way, and second to sweep his legs out from under him and straddle his middle. You both sat there, breathing heavily as you looked at each other intensely. In a low voice, not quite a whisper, but not too loud either, Noritoshi spoke. “Well this is new, I recall the last time we were in this position, our roles were reversed. Can’t say i’m complaining.” You felt your eyes widen as your cheeks heated, leaving you vulnerable to him flipping you over and aiming the staff at your neck.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “I specifically remember you telling me off for using underhanded tactics, a little hypocritical don’t you think?” Noritoshi feined a look of innocence, setting the staff to the side as he stood, “I don’t know what you could be referring to, I was talking about our sparring sessions, don’t tell me you were thinking of something else?” You hated how fast your heart started beating, you trying to hide how flustered you were by standing up only to freeze when you remembered why you two were sparring in the first place..and that your underclassmen had just saw and heard that all happen.

“Okay~ well as much as I love a good old enemies to lovers, we’ve got about 30 minutes until the event so both schools need to split up and talk tactics!” You and Noritoshi both tensed up at the voice of Gojo standing in the doorway, Panda and Mai both respectfully snickering at the two of you as you both went your separate ways.

It was time for the event, both sides had taken the time to strategize and figure out how they would work together to win. You would be going with Maki and Megumi when the group split, which was fine with you. You may have been a semi-first grade, but you weren’t keen on fighting Todo one-on-one. After Gojo had embarrassed poor Utahime, the buzzer sounded, signaling the start of the event.

When the group was interrupted by the arrival of Todo, you ran off with Maki and Megumi as planned. You jumped backwards when Miwa took on Maki, eyes widening when you saw Megumi get stopped by Noritoshi. “I’ll be fine, you go help Megumi.” You nodded as you ran ahead, only to be stopped by a grade 2 cursed spirit. It wasn’t super powerful, but it most certainly wasn’t weak either. You took a glance ahead of you to see Megumi and Noritoshi fighting, you grimaced, knowing his intentions behind going after Megumi were no doubt clan-influenced. Shaking your head free of distractions, you focused your efforts on taking down this pesky cursed spirit.

Unsurprisingly, your weapon of choice was a bo staff, you had found yourself falling in love with it (amongst other things) during the summer you and Noritoshi had spent together. Using a mix of strength and cursed energy you knocked the cursed spirit a fair amount of distance away from you, using the time the spirit took to charge you to cover your staff in cursed energy. And with one final swing you had successfully exorcised the curse. Unfortunately, the four that were fighting had all gone off to fight other places. Bringing your staff to your shoulder you continued to walk through the woods, searching for cursed spirits as well as your fellow classmates. You hadn’t gotten too far when you noticed the sky had started to get darker, your eyes narrowed as you looked up, watching as what you guessed was a veil slowly started to cover the sky. You continued walking, feeling a sick feeling in your stomach start to form which was only amplified by the yellow hue that coated your surroundings.

You continued walking along what seemed to be a path when ‘isn’t that Miwa…?’ you picked up your pace, and after finding out that, she’s just sleeping, you picked her up and carried her on your back, keeping on your so called path while you continued your search for others. Not long after that you ran into Mai and Nobara, who were unfortunately as clueless as you were. Continuing on you all managed to stumble upon Utahime, who was about to face off with some...guy? Thankfully the veil dropped, and the 5 of you were able to get back with the others.

You were now walking down to the infirmary with a still unconscious Miwa sleeping while you piggybacked her to Shoko. “Hey, have room for one more? We’re pretty sure she’s just sleeping but, Utahime wanted to be sure.” Shoko sighed as she nodded, leading you to the room where the medical beds were. “You can set her down on one of these.” You nodded and carefully setting her down and getting her situated. After Shoko did a quick check and yes, she was just sleeping, you walked back out to the main part. “Uhm, who else got hurt?” Shoko looked to you, “Well, Fushiguro got hit with some kind of bud but I was able to remove it, Maki got impaled in her shoulder but it didn’t do any lasting damage, Inumaki went over his limit, and Kamo hit his head really hard, there was some minor fracturing but he should be okay.” You already felt nauseous hearing about your classmates and friends, but hearing about the man you were still very much in love with included in that group made it all so much worse.

You gulped, hands shaking as you took in a shaky breath. “Is- is he- are they okay?” She gave you a sad smile, nodding as she picked up her clip board. “They’ll be okay, he’ll be okay. If you want I can tell you when he wakes up?” You nodded, showing your nervousness with how quickly you responded. “Y-yes please.”

And that’s how you found yourself sitting in one of the chairs waiting outside the room Noritoshi had been put in after his surgery, heart racing as your mind went through the ‘what ifs’ and ‘why didn’t you’s’. Dread consumed you as you thought of the worst case scenarios. Realistically you knew he wasn’t going to die, he had a minor concussion and a few broken bones, but he was going to make a full recovery. But it was the unrealistic part of you that was in control right now. The part of you who was berating yourself for never picking up his calls, the part of you who was yelling at yourself for ever walking away from him, the part of yourself that hated how things ended between you and Noritoshi. The part of yourself that knew just how in love with him you still were.

“Y/n? He’s awake. You can go in now.” You sniffed, wiping the tears that had fallen before standing up, thanking Shoko as you entered the dimly lit room. You crossed your arms over your chest as your heart raced and you felt your breathing get labored. You had spent the past 4 hours wanting nothing more than to see him, but now that you were walking towards him, your legs itched to turn around and run back to your room. But thankfully for both of you, that unrealistic part of you was still very much in control. You walked further into the room when you saw Noritoshi, sitting up in his bed, with bandages wrapped almost all of the way around his head, one of his eyes completely covered while his own remained closed. You sucked in a quick breath, but continued to walk closer to him.

“How are you feeling?” Noritoshi looked towards you, a tired smile appearing on his face as he watched you come beside his bed and sit down in one of the chairs. “All things considered, not too bad. Apparently my injuries were minor compared to Fushiguro and Maki.” You hummed, “I don’t see any of their heads wrapped in bandages Noritoshi. You always have to be an overachiever, huh?” He chuckled at that, shaking his head as you smiled, desperately trying to blink away tears before they could fall. “...” it was quiet, for maybe only 30 seconds but it felt like eternity.

You took a look at him, and even though he was here, he was fine, he was okay, the only thoughts that were getting through were ‘if you had lost him, what would you have done?’. Noritoshi’s eyes widened as he watched the tears fall down your face, your body fighting sobs as your elbows rested on your knees and your hands clutched at your eyes, water flowing down your cheeks and arms. “Y/n? Y/n it’s alright, i’m oka-” “It’s not! This- this isn’t about that it’s just- I don’t know what I would’ve done if you had...you had- I can’t lose you Noritoshi!” He shut his mouth as you continued to cry, his stomach churning at the sight of your tear soaked face as you tried to stop them from coming.

You sat up, looking up to the ceiling as you tried to regain your composure. “I just- there’s still so much I need to say to you- a-and too much...too much I have to fix,” “Y/n,” “A-and what if you were gone? A-and I couldn’t say goodbye?I ignored you for months, I can never forgive m-myself for tha-at,” “Y/n,” “I would’ve hated myself, cause I never got to tell you I still love you and I don’t hate you and-” “Y/n” You looked down to see Noritoshi leaning to the side of his bed, watching as his hands guided your face towards his, you still very much delirious as he gave you a half-smile, thumbs wiping the tears from your face as your sobs died down.

“Y-yes?” You choked out, he leaned in, thumb brushing your bottom lip as he whispered, close enough that you could feel his breath fanning your lips, “Stop talking.” You nodded, taking a deep breath as your hands came up to hold his, his forehead now resting against yours as your cries effectively died down. “I was never going to leave you, and certainly not without making sure you didn’t believe any of that. We both made mistakes and did things we regret. We let a silly argument get between us, and I didn’t let myself see it from your perspective. I’m sorry.” You shook your head, “I should be the one who’s sorry, I walked away and avoided you because I was too scared to fix things...i’m sorry Noritoshi.”

He smiled, “We’re both sorry, but I think it’s time we fix this too...I’ve hated not having you with me these past few months.” You laughed as you nodded, “Yeah, me too...but you’re going to have to put your number in my phone, I deleted your contact…” He pulled away, eyebrows furrowed, “You deleted my contact?! I can accept you blocking me but deleting my number?!” You laughed, “I wasn’t thinking straight! I was mad and I didn’t handle it well...but don’t act like you’re innocent after humiliating me this afternoon...all those inappropriate things and in front of our underclassmen...you should be ashamed.”

He smirked as he shook his head, “Absolutely not, I was simply telling the truth, you’re the one who made it promiscuous.” You rolled your eyes, and for the first time in awhile it wasn’t condescending, but rather endearing. “Whatever, I know what you meant.” He smiled, his smile coy and sly, a perfect display of the mischievous part of Noritoshi not many people got to see. “Y’know...it really hurt having you ignore me like that for months...and now that I know you deleted my contact and avoided me, i’m rather hurt by your actions…” You narrowed your eyes as you could hear the teasing tone he held in his voice.

“...What are you up to Kamo?” He shook his head, leaning back in closer to you, his closeness causing your neck and face to heat up as your heart beat started to pick up its pace. His lips grazed your own before they slid to your cheek, all the while his hand dropped to your side where you had haphazardly left your phone when you sat down. “Getting my number back in your phone.” Your eyes widened as your face got impossibly hotter, watching as he tried and failed to suppress his smirk as he did what he ‘intended to’ and re-entered his contact. “There, all better.” He handed you your phone, you shaking your head as embarrassment started to set in.

“Well, now that you’re obviously feeling better, I’m going to go check on the others.” You didn’t get far before his hand had caught your wrist, and instead of letting go, he pulled you towards him, lips crashing on yours as his other hand steadied your waist. One of your hands wrapped around his neck while your knee propped itself up on his bed, his hand that was on your wrist now sat securely on your hip. He kissed you with what seemed to be the most love-filled and intense kiss the two of you had ever shared, and there had been quite a few kisses shared between the two of you. You moved to sit more on the bed as he pulled you closer, your kisses becoming more intense as the moments passed, and your surroundings began to blur.

“Well this is interesting.” You gasped as your head whipped around, finding not only Gojo, but half of the Kyoto school, Panda, Maki, and all 3 of the 1st years standing crowded in the door way watching with round shocked eyes at seeing two of the most respected and potential filled students making out like their lives depended on it. You felt your face get hot with more embarrassment when you heard Maki yell “ahA! I told you! Fork over the 20 Megumi!” You gave Noritoshi one last smile as you stepped down from his bed, bowing to everyone as you walked out and to your room. “I’ll see you all later, bye everyone, bye Noritoshi.” Before you made your way to your room to scream into your pillow, your steps increased as you heard the parade of ‘nice one y/n!’ and ‘lock the door next time!’.

You got to your room and fell face-first onto your bed. To say you were exhausted would be an understatement. Eventually you got up and did your nightly routine, changing into some comfortable pj’s before getting under the covers of your bed and setting your phone to charge. Just as you set your phone down, it dinged with a notification. Furrowing your eyebrows you picked you phone up to see it was a text, picking it up you read it. ‘Sorry for the interruption, but don’t worry, apparently we get the day off tomorrow so we can talk things out then ;)’ you laughed at Noritoshi’s use of an emoji, remembering that it was you who had taught him to use them in the first place.

You wrote out and sent your response, smiling uncontrollably at the ‘goodnight❤’ he sent before returning it and going to set your phone down. You paused when you noticed he had also put his ‘name’ into your phone. ‘Boyfriend’. You turned your phone off and screamed into your pillow, knowing it would be awhile before you could sleep with your head and heart filled to the brim with the one that (almost) got away.

[you-can-call-me-wanda]

Fake Dating

Pairing: Nikki Sixx x Reader

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for reading :)

When you first started dating Nikki Sixx, it was all for the money.

Now dating someone for money may sound cruel and awful to most, but in your case, it was a little different. Dating Nikki was literally your job.

You had been reached out to by Nikki’s management close to eight months ago and were offered the job of becoming his fake partner. Mötley Crüe had gotten into some sort of scandal once again that had the public upset and protesting their work. It really wasn’t anything that bad that the band had been up to, just their typical hotel shenanigans, but it happened right before their new album release and their label was desperate to change the opinions of any upset mothers to try and increase album sales.

So, they had reached out to you. Why? Because you were exactly what they needed to get the public back on the side of Mötley Crüe. You were a small-time actor and pretty much universally liked. Having gotten most of your fame from starring in a recent and popular children’s movie, you were recognizable to children and parents alike. You were relatively new to professional acting, so there was no sort of rumors or nasty gossip associated with your name. Not to mention, you were young and beautiful and, even better, had no criminal record. You perfect for the role of Nikki Sixx’s significant other.

You were hesitant to accept of course. Sure, you had heard rumors of celebrities with fake or hired partners before, but never had you been asked to be in on one of those schemes. It felt wrong, to be lying to so many people, but the pay was too good for you turn down. You were in between gigs at the moment, having had no job offers since your big movie role. Maybe it was wrong to have ever accepted, but you had, and there was definitely no turning back now.

To everyone’s surprise and Mötley Crüe management’s absolute glee, the tabloids and press was obsessed with your and Nikki’s relationship. After just one “date” out with Nikki, a no-expenses lunch courtesy of Elektra Records and lots of well-timed hand holding and pecks on the cheek, paparazzi photos of the two of you could be seen on virtually every teen gossip magazine’s cover. When people mentioned Mötley Crüe now, they were talking about you and Nikki, not the fact that they got banned from the Hilton or destroyed over fourteen thousand dollars’ worth of property at their last hotel stay on tour.

Like you were, Nikki had been hesitant to play along with this fake relationship. It was weird and the whole thing was uncomfortable in the beginning. You were a complete stranger to him and now he was expected to kiss you in public and take you out on dates? It was awkward to say the least. But over time, the two of you warmed up to each other and your roles. With every staged date, you two got closer and closer and got to know each other more and more. Things got easier, and you actually began to enjoy the company that Nikki provided when you saw him, and the two of you even began to hang out sometimes even when it wasn’t scheduled by corporate.

“Hey (Y/N)!”

You turned around where you stood to see Nikki and his best friend and bandmate, Tommy, running towards you.

“Hey,” you said, smiling widely at the two boys. “You guys ready for your big show?”

Today was the last night of Mötley Crüe’s tour and it was the biggest show yet. You had been invited by management since the show was to be filmed with some backstage footage as well. And since Nikki was your fake boyfriend, it only made sense for you to be there with him.

“Hell yeah!” Tommy cheered, twirling his drumsticks in his hands. “Tonight is going to be killer! You’re gonna be watching from side stage, right?”

“Of course I will,” you said. “You know how much I love seeing you guys play.”

And it was true. The best part about your newest acting role besides getting to hang out with Nikki, was watching his band perform on stage.

“That’s why you’re the best,” Tommy said, ruffling a hand through your hand and bounding off down the hall on the venue excitedly. “I’m going to go warm up!” he called over his shoulder. “Don’t chicken out on me Sixx!”

You turned back to Nikki with a confused smile.

“That boy is all kinds of weird,” you laughed.

“Tell me about it,” Nikki said with an eye roll.

“What does he mean about chickening about?” you asked. “You nervous for the show or something?”

Nikki had never seemed nervous before a performance before. He was normally excited, but maybe since this was his biggest gig yet, the stage fright was getting to him. You examined him carefully. He did look a little nervous. He was tapping his fingers to an irregular rhythm against his leather-clad thigh and biting his lip just slightly.

Nikki sighed through his nose and attempted to look non-chalant. The real reason he was so nervous was because tonight was the night he had decided would be the time when finally he told you that he loved you. He had stupidly mentioned it to Tommy who in turn had told Mick and Vince and half the crew. Now, almost thirty people had wagered money on whether he would actually go through with it or not. Somehow, thankfully, you had been left blissfully in the dark to all of this.

“No,” Nikki said. “I’m not nervous. It’s nothing really. Just Tommy being dumb like always.”

“Oh, okay,” you responded. “As long as you’re okay. By the way, Mick said you wanted to talk to me earlier.”

Nikki cursed under his breath. Of course, Mick would intervene. He had bet a hefty amount of cash on Nikki being brave enough to confess his feelings to you.

“He did? Oh, well, it’s really nothing important. It can wait until later,” he said, swallowing thickly.

In reality, Nikki was genuinely terrified to tell you that he loved and ask you out. Normally, he was confident in matters like this, but with you, he felt like he was diving headfirst into the unknown. He felt a connection with you, and he was sure that his feelings for you were true, but he had no idea if you felt the same. In any other situation, he could probably figure out if someone were interested in him based on how they interacted, but with you that was near impossible. You were literally being paid to date him. How was he to discern between your acting and what you really thought? For all he knew, you could hate his guts and just be putting on a show to keep getting your monthly check.

And if he told you that he loved you, and you didn’t feel the same, he wouldn’t know what to do. Not only would he be heartbroken, but he wouldn’t be able to hide from you. You would still be invited to events and he would still have to pretend to be your boyfriend. He couldn’t imagine anything worse than having to kiss you knowing that you didn’t and had never had any feelings for him.

“Are you sure?” you asked. “There’s plenty of time to talk now. You’re not on for another hour at least.”

“I just uh, I just- I don’t know,” Nikki stammered.

“Sixx,” you said with a laugh. “Just tell me.” You placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You’re my fake boyfriend, remember? I love you,” you joked.

Your words pained Nikki because he knew you were only teasing.

“Do you really though?” Nikki asked quietly, finally finding the strength to make his move.

The smile slipped off your face.

“What?”

“Do you actually love me?” Nikki repeated louder, looking up at you. “Do you really love me?”

You were caught off guard to say the least. That was not what you had been expecting Nikki to ask you. Did you love him? Of course you did, but why was he asking? Had he figured out that you were secretly harboring feelings for him, the boy you were supposed to be fake dating? Had he realized that your acting was getting to be too realistic, that you couldn’t possibly be faking this well?

“Why are you asking me that?” you said, avoiding answering his question.

“Just answer me,” Nikki said. His eyes searched yours for an answer.

You could feel your heart hammering away in your chest. Did he know? You were panicking, trying to think of something to say. Should you deny any feelings you had for him? It would be unprofessional to admit that somewhere along the line, you had begun to really love him.

“(Y/N),” Nikki said, realizing you weren’t going to answer him. “(Y/N), I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend anymore.”

You felt like he had punched you in the gut. All the air left you lungs. So, this was it. He had figured you out and was ending things. He didn’t want to see you anymore now that he knew.

“You- what?” you asked, unable to hide the disappointment in your voice. “Why?”

“I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend anymore because I want to be your real boyfriend (Y/N),” Nikki said. His eyes turned downcast, too nervous to look at you. “I don’t know when it happened (Y/N), but I’ve fallen for you. You’re just- you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re smart and witty and fun. You can make me laugh and get me out of a bad mood. You know how to party, but you also can just sit and have an honest conversation with me. I love you and I want this to be real, what’s going on between us.”

You were speechless yet again. You gazed at him in awe, shocked by what he had just admitted.

Nikki took your surprised silence as rejection and his shoulders sagged visibly.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked eventually, daring to look up at you now.

“I, uh- I mean, no. I’m just surprised is all,” you managed to spit out. “You really mean all that?”

Nikki merely nodded.

“Nikki, I- oh my god. I love you too,” you said, finally finding the words you wanted to say back to him.

Nikki looked skeptically hopeful.

“You do?” he asked hesitantly. “You really mean that?”

“Nikki,” you started, breaking out into a grin. “I have loved you for months now. I thought you could never feel the same, so I didn’t say anything. I thought you would hate me if I told you.”

“I could never hate you,” Nikki said, lips curling up to match yours. “God (Y/N), I really love you. Can I- will you- would you be alright if we started dating for real now?” he asked. “No more staged dates or kisses. Just you and me actually doing this.”

You nodded excitedly.

“Yes,” you agreed quickly. “Yes, I would like nothing better Nikki.”

Nikki let out a relieved laugh and quickly threw his arms around you in a tight embrace.

“Can I ask you one last thing?” he said, as you hugged him back.

“Of course,” you said, pulling back to look at him.

“Can I kiss you now? For real this time?”