#what music do you think they’ll play at the nursing home when you’re 80?

[perserved-by-bronzing]

I love the idea that you’ll somehow lose all your “non-adult” interests at some unspecified future point because you Attain Adulthood. You never attain adulthood. It’s always a horizon and you’re always you.

I’m sorry but...ur telling me there’s actually people aged 30+ on here reading fanfic ... with whole families ..

I assume this is sarcasm lol

[papermoonloveslucy]

THE WILLS

March 19, 1950

“The Wills” (aka “The Coopers Make Their Wills”) is episode #80 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on March 19, 1950.

Synopsis ~  After Liz and George make out their wills, Liz is convinced that George intends to do away with her. Liz is startled to find a receipt for some arsenic and rope in his pocket, but is shocked when George suggests a trip to the country - with a one-way ticket for Liz!

Starting with this episode, “My Favorite Husband” moved from Thursday nights, to Sunday nights. 

Note: This program was used as a basis for a scene in “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying to Murder Her” (ILL S1;E4) filmed on September 8, 1951 and first aired November 5, 1951. For various reasons, it was the first episode of the series filmed, but the fourth aired. 

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benadaret was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on “Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) does not appear in this episode. 

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz (above right), a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

Herb Vigran (Doctor Stephens) made several appearances on “My Favorite Husband.” He would later play Jule, Ricky’s music union agent on two episodes of “I Love Lucy”. He would go on to play Joe (and Mrs. Trumbull’s nephew), the washing machine repairman in “Never Do Business With Friends” (S2;E31) and Al Sparks, the publicity man who hires Lucy and Ethel to play Martians on top of the Empire State Building in “Lucy is Envious” (S3;E23). Of his 350 screen roles, he also made six appearances on “The Lucy Show.”

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers tonight, it's just after dinner, and we find Liz and George settling down to a normal evening's conversation.”  

George has something he needs to talk to Liz about. Liz immediately thinks it is something to do with her household budget, but George wants to talk about their wills. The subject immediately upsets Liz. The idea of living without George sends Liz into gales of tears. George wants her to read it, and threatens to leave everything to his mother if she doesn’t. Liz snatches the will from him. George then tells her that he has had her will drawn up as well. 

LIZ: “What for? You're the one who's going! What are you trying to do, push me ahead of you in line?”

George reminds her of the three acres of Florida beachfront property that her father left her, which she calls ‘Sunken Acres.’  George always assumed it was oil land. 

LIZ: “If there's any oil down there, it's still in a whale. Oh! I see it all now, George! You want me to sign a will leaving everything to you, and then you'll bump me off! You want to get your dirty fishhooks on my oil holdings!

Liz agrees to read and sign the will as the scene fades out.  At the bank the next day, Mr. Atterbury notices that George seems tired. George admits he was up late talking to Liz about their wills. Mr. Atterbury proposes that the Coopers join him and Iris at their mountain lodge for the weekend, flying up, and then leaving the girls there for the week while they fly back for work. The following weekend they will drive up to get them in Mr. Atterbury’s new car. 

Mr. Atterbury has already bought the airline tickets and asks George to go to the hardware store for a few items. 

MR. ATTERBERRY: “I need poison for those horrible little gophers up there. And some rope for a clothesline, and a couple of sacks of cement. Iris wants a patio so she can sunbathe. Come to think of it, that ought to keep the gophers away.” GEORGE:  “Let me make a list on the back of this envelope. Now, poison, ropes, cement...” MR. ATTERBERRY: “Oh, and I need an axe, too.”

Mr. Atterbury tells George that they should tell their wives that they are just going for a weekend, so that they don’t rush out to buy a week’s worth of new clothes.

At the Cooper home, Katie the Maid is preparing dinner. George comes home and tells Liz the good news that they’ll be going to the Atterbury’s lodge this weekend, and he’s got the airline tickets in his pocket. As George goes upstairs to prepare for dinner, Katie reminds Liz that she has a beauty shop appointment on Saturday. Liz wonders what time the plane leaves, and fishes in George’s jacket pocket to check the tickets. She notices that one tickets is round trip, and the other is one way!   Liz immediately assumes one of them isn’t coming back, and reminds Katie that George asked her to sign her will!  She notices some writing on the envelope that looks like a shopping list.

LIZ: “Poison! He's going to take me out in the woods and poison me! Look, at the next item - rope. If the poison doesn't work, he's gonna hang me! Cement. If I live through the poison and the rope, he's gonna put my feet in cement and dump me in the lake! Look what's next - axe! If I able to hold my breath, he's gonna swim in the water and chop me to pieces!” KATIE: “Oh, how can Mr. Cooper do such a thing?” LIZ: “With that list of weapons, how can he miss?“

Liz realizes why George might want to do away with her - they’ve finally struck oil on Sunken Acres!

End of Part One

Announcer Bob LeMond reads a live Jell-O commercial. 

ANNOUNCCER: “As we return to the Coopers, we find Liz in a state of nervous apprehension. After years of having George under her thumb, she's suddenly discovered that he's bout to put the finger on her. Or at least she thinks he is. But right now it's after dinner, and Liz, the intended victim, is in the living room, reading. While George, the killer, is slowly stalking up behind her.”

George kisses Liz on the back of the neck. She screams!  Liz nervously says that she’d rather not go to the Atterbury’s lodge this weekend. 

GEORGE: “What? Why, Liz, you love the lodge. You always say that's your idea of living.”  LIZ: “Well, I want to keep it that way.”

George says that he has a big surprise for her up there. Liz suggests he take his mother and give HER the big surprise!

GEORGE: “Now, don't be silly! You just wait: When you wake up Monday morning, you'll be very pleasantly surprised.”  LIZ: “If I wake up Monday morning, I'll be surprised.”

Liz wonders if George is having money problems. She asks him why he made her sign her will last night. George says that if it bothers her so much, he’ll tear it up - as soon as they get back from the lodge. 

Liz runs to her bedroom and locks the door! George telephones Dr. Stephens (Herb Vigran) to report that Liz is acting peculiar. 

DOCTOR: “Peculiar for Liz, or peculiar for normal people?”

RICKY RICARDO: “Lucy is acting crazy!” FRED MERTZ: “Crazy for Lucy or crazy for ordinary people?”

This joke was adapted for Lucy Ricardo in “Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying To Do Murder Her” with Fred Mertz taking the Doctor’s line. 

Doctor Stephens cannot make a house call because he’s got an appointment with his psychoanalyst, but he tells George to give Liz a sedative until he can get there. 

Liz comes in for a glass of water. George tells her that he’s had Katie prepare them some hot milk. In the kitchen, Katie tells Liz that she saw Mr. Cooper pour a powder into one of the glasses. Liz says she’ll just switch the glasses so that George drinks the one with the powder in it. 

In the living room she distracts George just long enough to switch the glasses. But when George lifts his glass to drink, Liz dashes it from his hand. She says she couldn’t do it to him, even if he could do it to her. 

LIZ: “You put something in my glass, didn't you, George? Well, I fooled you! I switched glasses!”  GEORGE: “I had a hunch that's why Katie called you, so I switched them again while you were out of the room.”

Liz starts to gag as if she’s been poisoned! Liz falls to the floor, convinced she is going to die, trying to make peace with George in her final moments.

LIZ: “If I had my life to live over again, I want you to know I'd do better. I could stay within the budget, if I tried. (coughs) And I'd never buy clothes I need. (coughs) I'd throw away my charge-a-plate.”

The doorbell rings. It is Mr. Atterbury, come to make the ‘final arrangements.’  Liz tells George that she saw the one way ticket, and the shopping list for poison and the axe.  The men dissolve in laughter.  Mr. Atterbury explains that those were supplies for the lodge.  Liz is angry that she’s been tricked, and refuses to keep the promises she made in her ‘final moments’.

LIZ: "I didn't know what I was saying! I was under the influence of warm milk!”

End of Episode

In the live Jell-O commercial, Lucille Ball plays a Mexican spy, and Bob LeMond is interviewing her for a job. 

In the bedtime tag, it is five in the morning and George is reading a suspenseful magazine story. Liz begs him to turn out the light, but then can’t sleep until he knows the outcome of the story. Liz grabs the magazine and reads the last lines.

LIZ: “The huge, shapeless thing crept slowly up behind Mildred, and before she could scream it slipped its bony hands around her - Oh, no!!!” GEORGE: “What does it say, Liz? Around her what?” LIZ: “Around her continued next week! Good night!”

ANNOUNCER: “You have been listening to ‘My Favorite Husband’ starring Lucille Ball, with Richard Denning, and based on characters created by Isobel Scott Rorick. Tonight's transcribed program was produced and directed by Jess Oppenheimer, who wrote the script with Madelyn Pugh and Bob Carroll, Jr. Be sure to get the April Issue of ‘Radio Mirror Magazine’ with the big picture of Lucille Ball on the cover. That's the April issue of ‘Radio Mirror Magazine.’ Original music was composed by Marlin Skyles and conducted by Wilbur Hatch. Bob LeMond speaking.”

[the-space-above-the-stars]

good luck charm

drag racer!lucas wong x reader

Summary: Lucas Wong is your best friend. He’s also the dumbest motherfucker you’ve ever laid eyes on, a realization you come to after one faithful drag race.

Warnings: dangerous driving (wear seat belts and obey the speed limit, kids) , drinking, cussing

Word Count: 2k

Genre: fluff, angst if you squint?

A/N: I’m curious, who are all y’all biases in NCT? Do you have a bias? Is it even possible with 21 crackheads? This is also unedited, so have no expectations. 

If you drove east for 15 minutes from where you lived, there was an abandoned lot on the edge of town, surrounded by a wire fence. Something big used to stand there, but it was torn down over 20 years ago. Over that time, it became many things. A place for kids to make out, do drugs, throw up graffiti, even the focus of an ill-funded effort to clean the city up. But most recently, someone from your school had realized that this was the perfect place to race cars.

And so the tradition of Friday Night Racing started, high school and college kids bringing their cars down to gamble with money and their lives. Their was a certain level of secrecy about the whole thing, as everyone knew a snitch could land everyone in jail. Kun, the most reluctant and most trustworthy, set the dates and handled the lineups and money.

It was definitely not your style. The place always smelled like stale beer and cigarette butts and almost every other week some kid would get hurt, but every week you still waited by your window, phone charged in your pocket and backpack ready with a first aid kit for Lucas to pull up in his Mustang.

Lucas, Yukhei to his friends and Xuxi to you and you only, was your best friend since the eighth grade. You had both landed in detention and you had managed to get both you and him out with an excuse about needing to visit the nurse that the poor substitute teacher watching over you both bought. You got slushees on the way home, him paying as a thank you, and ever since then you’ve been friends.

Lucas races. When he entered 9th grade he fixed up his dads old Mustang and entered his first race. You called him an idiot, but you still fixed him up when he came back slightly banged up with the money he one clutched in his fist. He was good. You knew he never lost a race on purpose. Sometimes he fudges up on purpose to fuck with the other racers, but he’s still always the first person crossing that finish line.

He knows you hate the races but that doesn’t stop his dumb smile as he pulls up in your driveway. “Can’t forget my lucky charm,” He tells you every time, with a wink that makes you smack him on the back of the head. As if dragging you along isn’t enough, before every race starts he taps his cheek and turns his head for the mandatory good luck kiss that you’ve never failed to give him. 

Maybe it’s because you’re in love with him. Have been ever since he dethroned Jackson Wang from the spot of best racer in a one on one race. You remember how his car had barely come to a stop before he jumped out, and you could barely yell at him about safety before he had picked you up and spun you around in a big hug, placing a big kiss on your forehead. Fuck, you had thought at the way your heart was beating. Fucking hell. 

And so here you were, mid July waiting in your bedroom window for Lucas. Like always, he was bordering on being late. Your backpack was thrown over one shoulder, wearing a Nirvana t-shirt and ripped jeans. It was too hot for much else. Finally, you perked up at the sound of a car engine as Lucas slowly pulls his red mustang into your driveway, so as not to wake your parents. “Come on, Rapunzel,” he grins as he climbs out. 

“You’re late,” you call down as you toss him your bag, climbing down the downspout and jumping onto the ground. “Again.” He rolls his eyes as he tosses your bag in the bag, jumping over the driver side door as you do the same on the other side. 

“Oh, your highness I’m so sorry to have inconvenienced you, what a pity to be late to something you didn’t even want to go to-” With a laugh, you punch him in the side and he pulls out of your driveway. The Mustang purrs smoothly, Lucas steering with one of his hands wrapped around the wheel. The other one rests on the dash, long fingers tapping out the beat to a song you don’t recognize. The ride should take 15 minutes but when has he ever followed the speed limit. It’s just a suggestion, you remember him saying to you with a dumb smirk. 

The races are pretty much already in full swing, some of the newer racers already shooting off. Someone’s playing music out of their car and there’s definitely alcohol. “No drinking!” You slap Lucas’s arm as he reaches for the bottle of vodka. “Go win, dumbass, and then I’ll let you get shitfaced.”

“Nice to see your confidence in me, shortcake.”  He bends over as he speaks to you and boops your nose. You’re two seconds from jumping him when someone taps his shoulder. 

“Lucas,” Jackson Wang smirks, ignoring the girl basically throwing herself at him. “Just the man I wanted to see.” 

“Wang,” Lucas stands to his full height and you roll your eyes. “Came to see  me win again?” 

“Actually I have a proposition for you.” Putting two fingers in his mouth he whistles and the music stops. People turn their eyes to the three of you. “One on one, you and me. 2 laps around the lot. What do you say?” 

“Didn’t you get enough fun of me beating you last time? What fun do I get out of proving what everyone here already knows?” 

Jackson chuckles, and it almost sounds dangerous. “How did I know you were gonna want to bet? Okay, how about this. Loser leaves the races. Forever.” 

“Throw in the winner’s car.” Lucas interrupts, looking over at Jackson’s sleek black Corvette.

“Deal. And the winner...” Jackson looks around and you almost recoil when his eyes land on you. “Gets a kiss with L/N.” Lucas’s smile drops and your eyes widen. Jackson smirks at Lucas’s reaction, giving him a smug shrug of his shoulders. “Seems fair to me.” 

“What the fuck-” Lucas shakes Jackson’s hand, dead seriousness written on his face as his knuckles turn white. They both head to their cars. “Xuxi!” 

“Relax, Y/N/N, I’m gonna win, so you don’t have to worry about kissing Wang.” 

“This is stupid. And ridiculous, you already beat him once, you know Jackson plays dirty-” 

“You do realize all this is going in one ear and out the other. I’ll be back in two laps, and then I’ll have a new black Corvette. Might even let you drive it.” He winks with a dumb grin as he tilts his cheek. You kiss him before he can even ask. Then you give him another. “Two? Wow, I must be special.” 

“No, you just need double the luck. Go. Don’t die, or I’ll kill you.” 

Seulgi, as usual does the honors as she walks up to the starting line, red handkerchief in hand. “Racers ready?” Her response is the simultaneous revving of two engines as Lucas and Jackson reach the starting line. She raises the make shift flag, and with a wave, is left in a cloud of dust and smoke as both cars take off. 

For most of the first lap, they are neck in neck. Jackson’s obviously fixed up his car since the last time they raced. But as they reach the first turn, Lucas hits the gas and pulls ahead, drifting around the roundabout and shooting off. Jackson has to swerve to avoid being hit and regains himself before following. You can basically hear the smug smirk on Lucas’s face. 

He stays ahead for most of the first lap but as they reach the second, Jackson pulls next to him and bumps his car, making him go off the road slightly. As he pulls back in, Jackson shoots off, Lucas racing to catch up with him. Your heart’s beating in your ears, nerves builgingup with the prospect of Lucas being banned from the races. And of course, kissing Jackson Wang. 

100 feet. 80 feet. 60 feet. They’re 40 feet from the finish line when Lucas pulls ahead and turns his car completely sideways in front of Jackson’s, drifting across the finish line. He straightens himself out and stops the car before jumping out. Hey, at least he stopped this time. “What did I tell you, shortcake?” He preens, bending over to be your height as he pokes your forehead. “You’re not kissing Wang and I get a new car, it’s a win win.” 

“Yeah, shut up idiot. Come on, let’s grab slushies.” You try to ignore the dull thump of dissapointment in your chest. The bet was that the winner would kiss you. But he’s chosen to forget that apparently. 

Jackson climbs out of his car, tongue pressed against the inside of his mouth as he rolls his eyes at Lucas. “Sorry L/N maybe another time.” Lucas lunges at him, but stops as a voice breaks through the air. 

“COPS!” The whole place goes silent as someone yells, and there’s the faint noise of sirens down the street. Everything goes to hell the next second as screams break out and racers run for their cars, people who came on foot jump into other’s cars or start climbing the fence. 

“Come on, haul ass!” Lucas yells, grabbing your hand and pushing you into his car. “Seatbelts-” he cuts himself off by putting the car in drive and hitting the gas, pulling out of the lot just as the first cop car turns the corner. 

*** Lucas pulls into a stop right in front of your house, eyes wide as his hands relax around the wheel. “Jesus fucking christ, my heart’s beating so hard.” Without hesitation, he grabs your hand and places it over his chest, leaving you to ignore the less than platonic thoughts in your head. “Jesus, do you think they’ll shut the races down?” 

“No,” you speak with certainty as you move your hand. “All the racers got away, I’m positive the only people they got were the kids who got shit faced. The most they can do is fine them for underage drinking.”   A comfortable silence fills the car as you both catch your breath, but of course it doesn’t last as Lucas takes your hand in his. “Good thing you kissed me twice, huh? Or we probably wouldn’t be lucky enough to get out of there.” 

Know what, fuck just being friends. Fuck Lucas Wong when he says shit like that that makes you question if he really just likes you as a friend. You’ll never know what you both could be if you don’t try. “I love you, Xuxi.”  You’re not looking him in the eyes. You expect him to drop your hand and stutter out some excuse or an apology, but what you don’t expect is that he lets out a laugh. 

“Aww, Y/N I love you too,” He puts his head on your shoulder. “Where would I be without my best friend, huh? Now go get some sleep, it’s almost morning.” It feels like a weird dream as you stumble out of his car and climb the downspout, giving him a fake smile before he pulls out with a wave. 

Today’s been exhausting. Flopping down on your bed, you turn to see the photo on your table. Both you and Lucas on the top of the ferris wheel at the carnival last year. Your tongues are blue from slushies and you’ve got a big plushie he won at the bottle toss. His arm is around you and you’re both grinning like idiots. “Why are you such an idiot, Xuxi?” You whisper, rolling over and burying your face in a pillow. 

If anything good came out of today, it was one piece of knowledge. 

1. Lucas Wong is oblivious. 

A/N: Should I make a second part? I feel like this could be a oneshot but idk if people want a second part to this. Requests are open. 

[theonewiththefanfics]

70s Vintage (one-shot)

80s Retro (one-shot)

70s Bling (one-shot)

70s Glam (one-shot)

Synopsys: More shenanigans ensue as the Taylors hang around the set. And if the BoRhap boys thought they were wild on nights out, they’ll be proven severely wrong.

Pairing: Roger Taylor x f!Reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: drinking, swearing, alluding to sexy times ;)

Word count: 2595

When Brian May walked up to the BoRhap boys who were engaged in a discussion about how to better work off of one another during the big Live Aid scene, Ben in the meantime had been struggling to get one particular bit in ‘Radio Ga Ga’ right, so Bri, the ever-loving father figure, went out on a search for the real drummer.    “Has anyone seen Rog? Ben’s struggling with getting the movements down.”    The guys only shook their heads when Jon got a quizzical look on his face. “We haven’t seen Roger in like half an hour. In fact, we haven’t seen Y/N for twenty minutes either.”    It was a bold suggestion, but by the eye roll that Brian did, they knew they hit the jackpot. And all the confirmation they needed came in the form of a thoroughly dishevelled Y/N.    “Did you have fun?” Brian asked, and she winked at her old friend.    “I think Roger enjoyed it a bit more, this time.”    “Well, is he put together enough to go out and help Ben?” Brian asked, just as the blond actor came up to the guys, drumsticks tightly clutched between his fingers.    “Come on, love,” Y/N said linking her arm through his elbow. “Rog is a bit preoccupied at the moment, so I’ll try and help as much as I can.”    Ben’s eyebrows were high up on his forehead. “You know how to drum?”    She hummed in response, and the crowd, seeing him and the woman walk out on stage went wild, chanting Y/N’s name like she was a Goddess there to fulfil all of their wishes. With a small wave, she sat down behind the drum set and adjusted the height of the little round bench. “I also know how to play the cello, violin, bass, guitar, piano and trumpet.”

   Expertly Y/N twirled the drumstick and looked up at Ben. “Which part were you struggling with, honey?”    But even before she could tap a snare, Roger stormed on stage, the crowd of extras going absolutely crazy.    “No,” he pointed a finger at Y/N. “Not happening. You’re not stealing my spotlight.”    A smirk tugged up her lips, seeing that purplish mark on his neck, which he so desperately had tried to cover up with a shawl, but it was still peeking through. “Your spotlight? Love, it’s Ben that’s gonna be on stage, not you.”    Roger raised a grey eyebrow. “And who do you think he’s playing? Me! Ha!”    “Fine,” Y/N stood up, leaving the drumsticks on the chair. “But who do you think is sleeping on the couch? You! Ha!” and with a wide smile plastered over her face, Y/N waved at the roaring crowd and disappeared behind the scenes.    The grey drummer put his hands on his hips and looked up to the sky, letting out a deep sigh.    “You alright?” Ben asked, clearly concerned if he’d somehow made a mistake and offended the legend.    “Yeah,” Roger nodded, sitting down behind the drums. “Just can’t figure out how the hell did I fall in love with a woman who infuriates me so much.” But he said it with nothing but adoration in his voice.

***

   “Ronnie, I’m telling you, it’s crazy freaky,” Y/N sat in one of the sofas in the trailer that was labeled 'THE BAND AND PAUL'. “I’m telling you! Look, I’ll just send you a picture and then you can see for yourself.”    As Y/N pulled the phone away from her ear and went into the photos folder, Joe walked inside, fingers massaging his scalp as he had just been able to get the wig removed.    The woman gave him a small smile, before doing a double take and practically shouting “Don’t move!” and putting her phone back to her ear. “Imma switch to Facetime.” She said to whoever was on the other line and Joe just stood there confused.    Y/N turned the phone to him and the man almost choked on his spit seeing the Veronica Deacon on the other side, the woman’s eyes widening at the appearance of Joe. Silence took over the trailer before she quietly asked when he was born.    “Nine- ninete- 1983. September 21, 1983,” Joe stuttered out. “Mam.”    Veronica narrowed her eyes before yelling down the house. “John, you better come here and explain some things to me!”    Joe couldn’t believe what was actually happening as John Deacon came in view, the man rubbing his eyes as if he had just been rudely awoken.    “If this is Y/N again, trying to persuade you to go bar hopping, I’m not joining. Last time ended with you in a jail cell and her in Scotland.”    But just as he was about to talk further about the crazy things the two women had done, he stopped, looking Joe dead in the eye. Veronica for a second thought he wasn’t breathing, but then John cleared his throat.        “Hello,” he warmly smiled at Joe who was still frozen in the spot. “You must be mister Mazzello. Brian and Roger have had nothing but good things to say about you and the guys.”    Joe just stared at the rock legend, mouth hanging open, cause holy fucking shit, he was talking to the Disco Deaky. Y/N smiled looking at the star-struck actor and glanced at Veronica who cleared her throat and crossed her arms.    “Are you sure you didn’t have an affair with someone in late 1982 or early 1983?” Veronica turned her head to the side as John looked at her fondly but rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying, you look quite uncanny.”    Joe laughed at that and he couldn’t help but feel relief flood his veins. They spent a few minutes talking about the music of Queen and how Y/N had been the one to push Veronica to ask Deaky out on a date.    “She was so bloody petrified that he wouldn’t say yes, she came to my flat and we both got drunk. In the end, she ended up calling him and slurring out that she liked him and wanted to go out on a date.”    “And she,” Veronica pointed at Y/N, “ended up calling Freddie, who was also coincidentally drunk that night, and convinced him that flying over to New York that night was a good idea.”    Y/N shrugged, remembering how she had woken up next to a passed-out Freddie, in a hotel room. Her scream had been the thing that had stirred both of them up, massive hangovers already forming.    “What the fuck did we do last night?” Y/N asked, rummaging through the first aid kit she had found underneath the sink in the bathroom for some painkillers. “Where are we?”    Freddie had been very nonchalant about all of it, as he made two cups of black coffee. “Well, my love, by the view outside of the window, I’d say we're on some thirty-odd story of a hotel in the middle of New York.”    Y/N had choked on the water she was drinking. “New York? How the fuck did we end up in New York?”    Veronica smiled, reminiscing about how much fun it had been to tease the two as they caught the first plane home. “Almost gave Rog a heart attack. He thought she’d run off with someone.”    “Honestly, he overreacted way too much,” Y/N replied, and it was like he had been waiting to be mentioned, Roger stepped in the trailer.    “What are you two conspiring about? Y/N if you’ve put some bloody dumb ideas in his head, I swear you’ll be the one staying at Bri’s.”    She rolled her eyes and scooted closer to Joe, to make room for Roger to sit down.    “Deaky!” his blue eyes lit up like Christmas trees, seeing his old friend. “How are you?”    “Good. We were just talking about when Y/N and Fred got so hammered they ended up in the city that never sleeps. And she was just saying how you overreacted.”    “Overreacted?” Roger’s eyes shot up to his forehead. “One second you and Ronnie are simply drinking wine at your flat, the next I hear is Freddie’s hungover voice telling me to be at the airport in nine hours, since you two had fucked off to God knows where.”    “We had gone out on two dates, Rog. You really took it as if I had cheated on you and married the pool boy.”    “You were still my friend, even if we weren’t dating then. So, pardon me if I got worried.”    Y/N rolled her eyes, but her heart swelled at the thought of Roger taking care of her like that.    The five of them talked a bit more about what wild things they’d done in the past and a little bit about how Joe could become an even more convincing Deaky. Soon enough, he was called to set, and with a very solemn look, he said goodbye to Veronica and John, exiting the trailer.    “Honestly, you two,” Deaky said through the phone pointing at his wife and Y/N, “are forbidden to drink without supervision.”    Roger laughed and nodded along, but the glance Ronnie threw Y/N, whose smirk had widened tenfold, was enough to make his heart drop. “What did you two do?”

***

   The cast and crew, Y/N, Roger, Brian and Anita as well, all decided to go to a local pub after a gruelling day of shooting and during that, her mischievous side came out once more.    The drink off between her and her husband was provoked by Joe who was chatting away with Anita and she had mentioned how wild Y/N used to be. He’d laughed and told her about the conversation they’d shared with Veronica and Anita could only agree.    “I mean,” the woman snickered, “they had been married for what, eight years at that point, but were still at one another throats. And so, after a particularly bad fight, she said that if Roger could out drink her, she’d forgive the man.”    Joe laughed, leaning in. “And did she? Forgive him?”    At that point, both Ben and Y/N had overheard their little conversation and she simply smiled as Anita answered. “Let’s just say the next day, that minx over there was filled to the brim with guilt, as Roger nursed a hangover for two days.”    “What can I say,” Y/N said, smirking at Ben, “if there is one thing, I know how to do right, it is leave an impression. And obviously, prove a point.”    And right on cue Roger Taylor, most famous drummer in the world of the most famous band I the world started weeping, as Freddie’s voice erupted over the heads of everyone singing ‘Love Of My Life. “I love my wife, Bri. I love her, so much. Even though there are times I think she might kill me, I love her.”    Y/N sighed, rolling her eyes and she went over to her husband. “Alright, Rockstar, that’s enough for you,” she said and chugged his half-finished pint.    “Hey!” now an obviously pissed off Roger looked up at her. “I was drinking that- wow.”    He leaned over to Brian, and the curly haired man already knew what was about to happen. “D’ya think she’ll let me shag her? She’s real pretty. I like pretty women. Like Y/N. Y/N is the prettiest. Hey love, what’s your name?”    She almost choked on her laugh. “I’m Y/N.”    “No fucking way!” Roger exclaimed, “that’s my wife’s name.”    “I know. Cause I am your wife.”    For a second, Roger paused and then through a big, big grin he exclaimed, “Cool! Can we go home and have sex?”    This was where Y/N saw her opportunity. “We can.”    The smile that split Roger’s face apart was amazing, and he smugly looked at Bri. “After all these years I still have it.”    “If,” Y/N interrupted his gloating, “you can outdrink me.”    Brian was instantly up on his feet and pointing at her. “Y/N, no! We’re not going through this again. Just take your idiot of a husband and go home. Please,” the last word was a desperate plea, but she just ignored the only rationally thinking person in the room.    “Bri, ma man,” Roger said standing up and motioning for Y/N to go to the bar. “I thought we were friends. And here you are, barring me from having a good night with that fox.”    She smirked over her shoulder ordering twenty shots of vodka, ten for each. When Brian saw it, everyone could read the disappointment on his face. “When they get to shot number five, you two,” he pointed at Anita and Joe, “take Y/N and me and Rami will get Rog.”    “Why five?” Gwil asked, amusement evident on his features as he watched the married couple sit down by a free table in the bar, the shots in two perfect rows before them.    “Cause last time they got to number six, they got thrown out of a pub for indecent behaviour.”    And let’s just say, everyone in the bar looked with awe in their eyes as the two of them downed shot after shot, completely disregarding the fact they had been together for years, only so they could shag.

***

   “Rog, what did we do?” Y/N groaned, pressing her face in her husband’s shoulder, who pulled her closer, the bright morning sun making her eyes hurt. “I think we had a drinking competition," he replied. "Again. Though things are very blurry after Anita said something about a badger and you two running around naked in Bri’s garden.”    Y/N hummed and was about to roll out of the bed when a stack of pictures caught her gaze. Slowly, she took them, and her mouth hung open when she saw a bare Roger and her own stripped body in them.    “I guess we recreated a moment from what- 1976?”    Roger’s eyes were still closed, but his mind remembered the exact thing that was in the photos; how a young him had persuaded her to take her top and pants, off so he could snap some pictures of the girl.    “If these ever get out, Roger Meddows Taylor,” Y/N had said through a laugh, covering her face with her hands, but that meant leaving her chest exposed. “The next pictures people will be seeing in the tabloids will be of my mugshot.”    Roger had laughed, pressing his legs tighter around Y/N’s hips, so she would stop squirming and he could focus the camera on her body. “I promise. These are for my personal collection when I get lonely without you on tour.”    Though that had been his intention, Roger was quite the forgetful person. And let’s just say he’d heard an earful two days later as Y/N berated him for leaving the polaroids on the middle of a table on the bus.    “If history repeats itself, I’m divorcing you, Taylor,” she said, slipping the photos in a drawer and closing her eyes ready to go back to sleep.    “If history repeats itself, then we should prepare for a pregnancy.”    Instantly Y/N’s eyes were open, cause, of course, that little photo shoot had led to one of the steamiest nights of her life and of course, that’s when she’d fallen pregnant with their first child.    “Well, then this time, you’ll be the one pushing a watermelon out of your vagina.”    With that said, the hungover pair smiled and fell asleep, dreams of the past pulling them down, securely wrapped in one another’s embrace.    “Think they’ll allow to put that moment in the movie?” Roger suddenly asked, and Y/N slapped him.    “Shut it, Taylor.”    “Love you too, Taylor.”

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take): @chlobo6 @pietrorunsforme @brianhemian-rogerdy @16wiishes @wanderingsami @desir-ae @thiccio-and-thicciet @roseslovedreams @vesoleil @gloomybisexualemo @kostyaownsmyheart @perriwiinkle @screaminggalileochickenwrites@lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @sweet-ladyy @magicwithaknife 

A/N: Y’all loved the shit out of 80s Retro, so I hope you like this as well :D

P.S. what did you think?

P.S.S. my tags are always open :)

[thejustinmarshall]

Bebe Neuwirth Kicks Off 2018-2019 Kean Stage with “Songs With Piano”

Interview by Danny Coleman

“I couldn’t keep a straight face! I can’t tell you how many times we had to stop taping because I was cracking up and if I watch episodes now, I know my face and I can watch myself and see where I’m just starting to go and I’m trying not to smile; so much for Lilith and the dead pan. We had a very good editor and that’s what that is,” stated a laughing Bebe Neuwirth as she recalled her past role as Lilith Sternin-Crane on the popular 80’s television sitcom, “Cheers.”

Unlike her straight-laced character in that long running series, Neuwirth was funny, engaging and very candid as she discussed her upcoming September 15 and 16 cabaret shows at the Enlow Recital Hall in Hillside, NJ. These events are the openers of the Kean Stage 2018-2019 theater season and for this Tony and Emmy Award winning actress, dancer and vocalist, whether the setting is intimate or grandiose she enjoys both equally.

“No pressure there,” she said once again with a laugh. They each have their charms. I’ve done concerts with symphonies which is absolutely thrilling. I didn’t think I’d like doing that at all and I don’t know why I didn’t think I would but it’s thrilling to have a 70 piece orchestra behind you and then I do the other extreme where it’s just me and this pianist which is also thrilling in its own way. I don’t prefer one over the other because they both have their unique charms and they are very, very fulfilling as a performer. I would say that it’s probably a more visceral event in a way to perform with symphonies because you have that power of so many musicians that I’m playing with but on the other hand it’s a very, very intimate and really just a fine experience to play with just a piano. I’ve not really done anything in between, I do have an album that’s got a couple of other instruments. I’ve got an album that’s called, “Porcelain” and that’s with Scott and maybe three or four other instruments but I haven’t really done concerts with anything in between. Once I did a show with just piano and bass (laughs) but that’s it! So it’s either really, really big or really, really small but I always prefer to be on the stage more than anywhere else. Regardless of what I’m doing there I’d much rather do that. I’m much, much more at home doing that; I’m what they call a theater rat (laughs).”

Accompanying her on these performances will be pianist Scott Cady. When asked if she felt, “Naked to the world or audience” on stage with so little margin for error, where mistakes can be magnified as all eyes are on her; she did not hesitate to respond.

“Interesting but I don’t feel that way. I don’t know whether it’s self-imposed or just the way it is. I really feel like I maintain and need to perform and be truthful all the way through regardless of how many other people are or are not on stage with me. Even if you’re dancing in a huge chorus, if somebody or if I make a mistake, you’ll see it; if everyone is dancing together and one person doesn’t, you’re going to see it. Maybe it’s different if there’s a musician in the audience or somebody who is finely tuned into the music; they’re going to hear everything and then those who aren’t, somebody who just comes to listen, I think they’ll perceive that glitch. I like to go in thinking that there is never anywhere to hide. I mean for me personally that’s not a good way for me to go in, thinking well it’s OK if I make a mistake here because no one is going to know. First of all, I’ll know and no one is going to beat me up any harder than I am but also whether it’s specifically perceived or not it will be detrimental to the whole and you’re really there to serve the piece.” 

Performing from a young age, Neuwirth hit the road with a touring company and then received her first taste of the bright lights of Broadway and to this day she struggles describing the feeling of the very first time she stepped onto a Broadway stage.

“I can’t even describe that to you,” she said with an almost reverent tone. “I’ve been performing on stage since I was seven and a lot, not just recitals or in school. I was performing every year, sometimes twice a year at McCarter Theater in Princeton, I went down to the War Memorial in Trenton and performed there and we toured these ballets a lot when I was a kid. We performed in nursing homes and libraries and grammar schools and there was a lot of performance experience for which I am so grateful because you can go to class all you want but that’s not going to prepare you for what it’s like when you perform and are actually on stage. My first job was when I was 19 to go on tour with, “A Chorus Line,” so I toured all over the country and a few cities in Canada and then I got to do the show on Broadway and here I am, at this point I had an enormous amount of experience performing all different ways and all over the country and yet there was just something different about stepping onto the Shubert Theatre on Broadway in New York City. I cannot describe to you, unless I was a poet, what it was like but I can’t and that’s the best description that I can give to you, is to say that I can’t unless I was a poet. It was amazing, it was beyond thrilling, it was just; now here I am trying to come up with the words to describe it for you but it was supernatural and it was really something and then I couldn’t wait to get back and try it again because I wasn’t sure that I did it as well as I could’ve (Laughs).” 

With experiences like that and her love of acting; is Broadway her favorite place to perform? “I love to be on stage, so wherever the stage is I’m just happy to be there. Live theater is really where I prefer to be and certainly Broadway is a really fantastic place to perform but if I say it’s my favorite it sort of denies how wonderful it is to perform in Chicago or San Francisco or Omaha, Nebraska because there are beautiful wonderful amazing stages all over the country.”

A total entertainment package; has she ever been nominated for a Grammy Award to go along with her other accolades?

“No they’re doing something different now but the “Chicago” original cast album did win a Grammy Award so I am on a Grammy Award winning album but I’ve noticed in the last couple of years that the individuals that are on the original cast albums are named and therefore they receive Grammy Awards also. So I’m not sure what the technical thing is there but many original cast albums have won Grammy Awards but the artists performing on those have not received the award and that’s changing these days. I don’t know what the mechanism for that is or not but my short answer for that is, no I have not won a Grammy (Laughs) but I have participated in a Grammy Award winning album.”

We know of her love for theater and dance but where did her love of music come from? What did she listen to as a youth that may have had an impact and for that matter what does she enjoy now?

“The Beatles of course,” she said confidently. “But I was a little kid and I appreciate them more and more and that’s what we listened to mostly in my house was The Beatles but I love Led Zeppelin (Giggles) and I love Eric Clapton and I love Jimi Hendrix, I mean holy cow and I love AC/DC also so I’m a little bit all over.” 

So what does the future hold for this multi-talented lady? “Boy if I knew what was going on in the future,” she said with a sly chuckle. “Let’s see, I’ve shot a “Blue Bloods” episode this year, there are some penciled in plans to do some more “Blue Bloods” this year which I hope works out and a few more concerts are scheduled. There’s a whole bunch of things that I do for the Actors Fund and for a dance company that I’m on the board of so there’s a whole lot of other things that I do like stuff for Broadway Cares, we’ve got a flea market coming up at the end of the month. In terms of my appearances and performing, those are the only ones that are scheduled right now although there are things that are sort of in the planning stages which of course I can’t talk about right now, so yeah we know how that goes.” 

“Stories With Piano,” features music from Kander and Ebb, Tom Waits, Edith Piaf and Kurt Weill. Neuwirth has stated in a recent press release that she, “Likes the audience to be open to the unexpected” and that is because she, “Takes an unusual approach to some of the songs in her show.” 

So if looking for what promises to be an outstanding evening of music, look no further,  the Enlow Recital Hall is located at 215 North Avenue in Hillside on the East Campus of Kean University. To purchase tickets please go to www.keanstage.com.

Danny Coleman (Danny Coleman is a veteran musician and writer from central New Jersey. He hosts a weekly radio program entitled “Rock On Radio” airing Sunday evenings at 10 p.m. EST on multiple internet radio outlets where he features indie/original bands and solo artists.)

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[fitono]

The 70+ Age Group Is a Fast-Growing Client Base for Personal Trainers. Here’s What You Need to Know to Work Successfully with Them

Consider these two statistics:

1. The Silent Generation—those born before the end of World War II, who’re now in their 70s and 80s—command a third of all wealth in the U.S. The Baby Boomers, the oldest of whom are now in their early 70s, control 50 percent.

2. The average 70-year-old is likely to live another 15 years.

Put those data points together, and you see why this demographic is so important to your future. They have time. They have money (with very little debt). And they know it takes effort to preserve their health and vitality. I speak from experience when I say they’re motivated and in need of quality trainers.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from training older adults in group and individual settings for more than 15 years, it’s that training them is very different from working with young or even middle-aged adults. If you don’t understand or address their unique needs, insecurities, and struggles, you risk losing them as clients or, worse, injuring them.

In this article, I’ll explain over how to attract this affluent, underserved, and often misunderstood generation, including these major points:

What works and doesn’t work to attract and retain these clients

Why being the “fitness expert” isn’t enough

What scares them the most

By the end, you’ll know how to provide seniors with a great service and how to bring more of them in.

Get to Know Your Older Clients

First Impressions Are Everything

Put yourself in the shoes of a 75-year-old woman whose doctor has just recommended that she seek out a personal trainer with the goal of improving her strength and cardiovascular fitness. She’s never had a health-club membership, and hasn’t done any formal exercise in decades. Look at your business through her eyes. What will she see when she gets to your front door?

Start with a fundamental question: Can she get through the door at all? Are there flights of stairs she has to climb, or obstacles that she’ll struggle to navigate with a cane or walker?

Once she’s in your facility, what will be her first impression? How will she react to the posters and signs on your walls? Is the staff dressed appropriately? Will they greet her with a friendly smile?

Then there’s the gym population.

Just as a 25-year-old bodybuilder would feel silly working out in a room full of 70-year-olds, so do older adults prefer training with people their own age.

While there are always exceptions, most clients tell me that being around younger, more aggressive trainees makes them feel they need to push themselves too far.

Another consideration: how you name your group classes. While “Killer Abs” might work for your youngest members, you’ll have a better chance of attracting seniors if you call it “Core and More.” A name that says “intensity” to a woman in her 20s says “injury” to someone old enough to be her grandmother. Remember that their goal is to stay healthy, not risk their health. In addition, many are dealing with physical limitations, if not constant pain. The last thing they want is a group class that increases their pain symptoms.

Common courtesy also matters a lot to this generation, says Dan Ritchie, Ph.D., co-founder and president of the Functional Aging Institute. Make eye contact. Actively engage in conversation. Most important of all: Stay off the phone!

Don’t Assume You Know What They Need or Want

Like all your clients, seniors want you to be qualified, experienced, and knowledgeable. They don’t expect you to understand all their challenges, but you should be open to learning what they are, and how much they can differ from one client to the next.

“One 70-year-old may be considering a nursing or retirement home, whereas another is still a competitive triathlete or adventure thrill-seeker,” Ritchie says.

Put another way, “some 70-year-olds are old,” while others still see their best years in front of them.

As you can imagine, these seniors will come to you with a wide range of goals—just like any other age group. You can’t make sweeping assumptions about what any individual client needs or wants. Your only option is to listen—really listen—to what they tell you.

One thing you’ll hear, early and often, is what they don’t want. These clients know their limits.

Use that to your advantage by putting them in the driver’s seat. Let them tell you what is and isn’t working for them. Go over your training plans with them in detail before you start, and don’t spring surprises on them, as you might with a younger client. It won’t go well.

When going over your workout prescription, be sure to describe the progression you have in mind. If they push back, it’s up to you to dial back your expectations to meet their concerns.

Don’t expect them to change their concerns to meet your expectations.

They must know you’re listening to them. If they suspect you aren’t, they’ll take their business elsewhere.

Here’s an example: When I explain to a client how I plan to increase the intensity of her program, I pay close attention to her reaction. If she laughs nervously, I ask why. Chances are she’ll express a fear of getting hurt. At that point, rather than insisting that I know what’s best for her, we’ll talk about how we can modify an exercise to make her more comfortable with it, or how we’ll be build up her skills before we make her program more challenging.

Communication is crucial at all stages of the program. When you think they’re ready for a new exercise or more intensity, give them plenty of notice, including frequent reminders of how you’ve prepared for this particular challenge. Pay close attention to any concerns they have. The aging process chips away at a person’s confidence with every unwelcome change to body and mind. Your programming has to build them up instead of beating them down. Each training session should leave them feeling successful and pleased with their progress.

Their success, in turn, will ensure your success. Not only will they be loyal clients, they’ll recommend you to their friends, and some of those friends will also be loyal to you.

Here’s an illustration of what I mean: I’ve been training a lady in her late 70s who has arthritis in her knees and neck, and is awaiting a knee replacement. I was hired to increase her core and upper-body strength. She had never lifted weights before, which is intimidating for anyone her age. But her biggest fear was getting hurt or falling.

For our first month of training, she stayed in a chair. Then we moved to a mat. Eventually, I was able to put her on a stability ball for seated poses. Now she performs her exercises while prone on the ball. Because of her arthritis, some days are harder than others, and we adjust the intensity accordingly.

We make progress because, at every stage, I acknowledge her concerns and help her feel comfortable. I keep her ability and fears in the top of my mind even as I try to increase those abilities and minimize those fears. If I’d put her on a stability ball on day one, I’m certain she would’ve cancelled our future appointments. Now, as she gains confidence, I add new equipment, but only if she feels comfortable with it.

The hardest lesson here for a trainer is that you often have to forego your own expectations when training this clientele.

Don’t Write Them Off as “Old”

On the other hand, you’ll find older clients who don’t want to be treated like fine china. That’s why Maureen Hagan, vice president of operations at Goodlife Fitness Centers, says that seniors don’t like “being stereotyped as old, frail, or out into the category of senior.”

As Ritchie notes, “Clients in their 70s and up are probably looking for a trainer who’s caring and compassionate and understanding that their bodies won’t allow them to train as hard as when they were 30 or 40. But they don’t want to be treated as if they’re sick and nearly dead, either. They want a safe, effective workout that serves their goals. They want more energy, more strength, more balance and agility, and more functional ability.”

Furthermore, few gyms offer effective programming. “Most trainers and facilities are not training this population hard enough,” he says.

This doesn’t negate anything I just said about paying attention to their fears and concerns. It just means that, once you’ve done a proper assessment of your client’s health, abilities, and training history, you need to build programming to challenge that client effectively. A workout that’s too easy, or based on a template of what you think a client his age should be able to do, can be just as bad for your client’s motivation as a program that’s too aggressive.

Three Ways to Annoy and Frustrate Seniors

An Overcrowded Gym

To be sure, nobody likes to work out in a jam-packed health club. Nobody likes to wait for equipment, or fight for a spot in front of the mirror, or worry about someone walking into your field of vision in the middle of a lift. But imagine what a crowded weight room does to a senior. Imagine the anxiety for someone who isn’t comfortable or confident to begin with. Imagine the fear of being jostled and knocked over, or of walking into someone else whose movements she can’t anticipate.

Also keep in mind that a lot of your senior trainees will use hearing aids. If the room is too crowded, it affects their ability to distinguish sounds, increases their anxiety, and heightens the risk of an avoidable injury or accident.

Loud, Inappropriate Music

Loud music can inhibit a senior’s ability to hear instructions, which may prompt the trainer to raise his voice. That wouldn’t be an issue for a younger client, but to someone in her 70s, it sounds like someone half her age is yelling at her. In general, if you have to raise your voice to be heard, that’s not an appropriate training environment for older adults.

If you play music while your clients are exercising, consider the style of music that will motivate them. I guarantee you that most will not enjoy rap. Do your homework and pick popular hits from their era. Better yet, ask for their preferences, and play their favorite songs or bands the next time you train with them. When you do, be prepared for some of them to sing along.

Avoid Complicated Instructions

Coaching and cueing are art forms. You don’t need to say much if you’re doing them right. A few considerations:

Don’t be too verbose in your directions.

Keep your language simple and clear. I’ve found that modeling the movement is far more effective than long-winded descriptions.

Colin Milner, founder and CEO of the International Council on Active Aging, says you have to remember that a client who’s physically fit “could be cognitively compromised.” Because it can take that client longer to process information, you should give just one detail to focus on at a time.

Here’s what I mean: If you’re training a younger client, you first model the exercise. Then, when he attempts it, you might correct his form while simultaneously explaining the benefits, or why you’ve selected this option over others for the same movement pattern or muscle groups. With a senior, he’ll be so focused on performing the movement that he won’t be able to process your explanation.

The solution is to slow down the training experience. If you have important information about form or safety, share it when they aren’t moving. Let them focus on the exercise while they’re doing it.

Specialize in Addressing Their Concerns

Now that you’re aware of senior clients’ needs, fears, and frustrations, you can figure out how to tailor your services to accommodate them.

Milner suggests choosing which class of seniors you want to train by looking at five levels of functionality:

Athletic: exercises or is physically active every day.

Fit: participates in physical activity at least three days per week.

Independent: active at least two days per week.

Frail: active less than two days per week.

Dependent: doesn’t do any physical activity.

Your choice will determine how you advertise to prospective clients, as well as the environment in which you train them. For example, clients in the first two categories will be looking to maintain or improve their fitness level and possibly their sport performance. Clients in the Independent category want to be strong and flexible enough to keep living alone. Frail and Dependent clients probably need help on more basic issues, like getting up and down from a chair or reaching for something on a shelf.

Environment matters a lot. If you’re working out of a large gym that caters to a younger crowd, you’re going to attract very few seniors unless the gym is attached to a community center or mall that seniors frequent. Depending on the class of seniors you target, you may need to offer classes in residences, or rent your own space that you can set up with the goal of addressing their unique concerns.

For example, if you want to attract athletic seniors, advertise where they play their sport—typically golf or tennis. Since I’m in Canada, many of my clients curl, and they always want to know how to improve their game. You can entice them with small, sport-specific group training classes at your facility, such as a Strengthen Your Core and Improve Your Golf Score class for senior golfers. Keep in mind that senior athletes who’re retired and affluent have a lot of time to devote to their sport, and they’re interested in anything that they think will improve their performance or allow them to do it with less pain or discomfort.

Another surprisingly successful strategy is to pick a piece of equipment—bands, sliding discs, tubing, weights—and build a program around it. The key is to find a need that the equipment addresses for seniors. It can be strength, flexibility, coordination, or even memory. Your goal is to offer a unique approach to training that helps senior stay functionally fit for the rest of their lives.

For example, I’ve been very successful at remarketing balance pods, which are similar to the Bosu ball, but much smaller and cheaper. The ones I use are about eight inches in diameter, with bumps on the rounded side. I have 40, and easily transport them in my car for group classes. My clients like my pod classes because they’re a fun way to improve balance and core strength, both of which become life-and-death concerns when a single fall can take away their independence.

Try this: Ask local clubs if you can offer one-day group training to help their clients achieve a specific goal, like addressing common fitness concerns related to improving sport performance. Your program could then lead to future business for both you and the club.

Another option is to give presentations to local organizations as a guest speaker. Our local Weight Watchers chapter, for example, offers monthly seminars by professionals in a variety of areas. I once demonstrated a chair-stretching program, which not only gave the participants strategies they could use at home, it gave me valuable exposure in the community.

Sometimes the best approach to training seniors is to focus on fun, rather than fitness, as the primary benefit.

Let’s say you start with the idea that a lot of older adults love to dance, but many in this group are widowed, divorced, or otherwise without a partner who shares their love for the dance floor. In 2011, I taught line dancing in a group setting. It became so popular that I now have a waiting list to get into my classes. As a fitness professional, I know that dancing checks a lot of boxes, allowing seniors to socialize while improving their balance, coordination, and memory.

Even in more traditional exercise classes, many of my clients and students tell me they come to the gym to be with their friends. They often meet for coffee afterwards. If you can help them form a community, and perhaps even carve out a small space in your facility for them to hang out together before and after their workouts, you’re going to attract more seniors to your business.

Two Things that Scare Senior Clients

Falling

This is the number-one fear, says Maureen Hagan of Goodlife Fitness Centers, because it means losing their independence and “subsequently having to rely on caregivers or assisted living.” You can acknowledge this fear by choosing exercises that improve balance and core strength while working from a stable position.

For core stability, you could start your client on all fours with a bird dog, raising her opposite arm and leg. As she progresses, you might introduce a balance pod, placing it under a knee or hand. From there, you can advance to standing one-leg exercises, perhaps with a chair nearby for support.

Also keep in mind the small hazards an older client will encounter in any gym. Are there mats or pieces of equipment in areas where he might stumble into them? If a client is visually impaired, he could walk right into the edge of a barbell or weight rack.

Another consideration is the difficulty an older client might have getting on and off a machine. One time a client grabbed onto a machine for support when he was climbing onto another. It almost fell on top of him. Luckily, I caught it in time, but it goes to show how important it is to let the client set the pace of the training session, including the transition from one station to the next. If you try to rush him, you never know what can happen.

Additionally, some seniors may suffer from vertigo, a condition that can bring sudden feelings of dizziness. If you know this in advance, you can avoid using exercises that require getting up and down off of the floor multiple times. Even if a client doesn’t have an official diagnosis of vertigo, you can bring on dizziness by having her move quickly from sit-ups to squats or leg presses and then back down to push-ups on the floor. For someone predisposed to vertigo, sitting on a stability ball can trigger a dizzy spell. Another trigger is having their head below their heart. So even if a client can perform an exercise like a push-up with his feet on a stability ball, it’s out of the question if he has vertigo.

You can learn all this from your clients if you simply ask. They may even volunteer the information.

“The biggest mistake trainers make is not listening,” Milner says.

He describes an unfortunate experience close to home: When his 75-year-old mother went to a gym to meet a trainer, she told him about her vertigo and suggested she begin the workout on a stationary bike. The trainer ignored her and started her on a treadmill instead. She promptly fell, and never returned to that gym.

Loss of Stamina

Hagan says that “younger” seniors—those in their late 60s and early 70s—have an understandable fear of losing their youthful vitality. While that can include anything from strength to athletic skill, in my experience, nothing scares seniors as much as losing their stamina. It’s scary to realize you can’t do as much as you could just a few short years ago.

Your mission as a trainer is to show them what they can do, giving them some “I’ve still got it” moments. If a female client can no longer do bootcamp classes, perhaps you can steer her toward Pilates, or teach her some yoga postures she can master.

Another consideration, notes Ona McDonald, PRO-Trainer for the Canadian Fitness Professionals, is that an hour-long training session may be too much for some clients. That’s why I now offer programs that can be completed in 30 minutes or less. I want my clients to leave a session feeling energized, not exhausted. Go to the CanFitPro website to find workshops offered by Ona that will teach you all about caring for this wonderful population.

Armed with these suggestions, you now have the tools you need to attract this growing demographic into your business. Working with the 70-plus crowd continues to be the most rewarding part of my professional career.

Resources

Dan Ritchie and Cody Sipe offer certifications at the Functional Aging Institute.

Colin Milner’s organization, the International Council on Active Aging, offers educational materials targeted to older adults.

Canfitpro offers an active aging certificate.

Maureen Hagan offers this 47-minute video on functional fitness for older adults, focusing on back health.

  The post The 70+ Age Group Is a Fast-Growing Client Base for Personal Trainers. Here’s What You Need to Know to Work Successfully with Them appeared first on The PTDC.

The 70+ Age Group Is a Fast-Growing Client Base for Personal Trainers. Here’s What You Need to Know to Work Successfully with Them published first on https://medium.com/@MyDietArea

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Test Banks And Solution Manuals PDF Book

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Hamilton uses his chapter's test bank when he needs to supplement his studying. I found that seeing how old tests are put together really helps, and there are teachers who recycle answers year after year.

Looking at old tests helps me get better grades," Hamilton stated. While sharing old tests is permitted by Student Judicial Affairs (SJA), an advantage comes into play if students memorize answers. Old tests can contain identical questions to that of current exams, which can represent a major boost in the grade of the user. Despite SJA's stance, some, including chemistry professor Matthew Augustine, said that monitoring the difference between memorization and diligent studying proves unlikely.

Restricting the unfair advantage of people that have access to tests comes down to instructors. An instructor may take preventative measures like changing questions satisfactorily so that a pupil is still needed to use their own skills to demonstrate their understanding. Changing parts of a question may also make it much easier to detect if somebody is recycling a response from a previous evaluation version," Dudley said.

This year's midterm was the same format as last year's. The material warrants it," Augustine said. What I did this year was supposed to go through and change all of the acids to foundations it had been the exam. Augustine went on to describe that in courses such as chemistry and physics, having an idea of what's on a test does not necessarily lead to a higher grade. It's about putting in the time comprehend and to study the material. Years back, I did not have time to write an examination. I gave it the next moment, went through each problem on a clinic exam and a few other stuff, went home, changed the cover and went to the review session. In other types of classes, however, where particular theories are geared year after year, seeing what instructors focus on is less of a tool to research with, and more of an exclusive peek behind the curtain. There was similar questions on there which showed up about the midterm. Hamilton said after viewing a prior test.

I really don't think it's cheating. I don't really see how you can stop . I believe that it's a fantastic thing to have the ability to make certain your answers are right on thinking something you did wrong was 31, so you don't go. You don't understand anything from your errors should youn't even know if you find something is incorrect you can try to find what you did wrong and learn from it, although your answer was incorrect. I'll admit because you still need to find what you did wrong yourself that having the response is better than a answer. Yes, these guides could be misused. If you're just using them to look at your answers, I think there is nothing wrong. Some pupils will look up the answers and they won't ever learn how to actually do the work and they'll do much worse on the tests. Nice screen name. I can not count how many times I took a solo on Well You Needn't.

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What's a Option Manual and why would I need one? So you've spent a fortune purchasing your text books for your chosen course. You've been sat in your class taking down the notes but you are still unsure of the answers when it comes answering the questions in each chapter of your text book. There is A Solution Manual exactly what it says. Sometimes referred to as Textbook or the Instructors Manual Answer Key. It's the answers to the questions on your text book, but broken down into actions that are understandable. When employed students are able to leave no stone unturned when replying homework issues and revising for exams.

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Have any of your instructors prohibited the use of them, either in writing or verbally? For some STRANGE reason people believe that teachers don't know of the. They do. They understand that the test bank of book is readily available throughout the net. Funny though many students think that USING a test bank is a Guaranteed "A"------- this is incorrect-- Al lot of people will look at evaluation banks and miserably fail. Times Test Bankers neglect. You have to be able to NOT just memorize questions, but also know the rationale behind them. Now, what about using NCLEX practice publications is that incorrect? Cross fit between the two, if they are from exactly the identical manufacture of this book and the queries? Test Bank--What color is the sky? Red? NCLEX Book--Blue is the color of? Sky, Grass, Snow, Blood? Another publication- Red is to bloodstream as ? It does not matter how the questions are asked or where they are from. You are aware of it, if you understand the answer. Did you have a class, and the teacher what was the questions that are exact, on the test?

All the time changes my tests, for example, format. I do it for the reason you have put forward. Technically, I would say that test banks aren't "cheating" since it is not a copy of the current test. On recycling the very same tests out of laziness, if faculty members insist, then they are at fault. Since they induce people to learn what they ought to have been studying during the class, I think that a case can be made that evaluations make good study guides. Having said all that, among the most rewarding experiences of my entire life was carrying over a survey course understood throughout the school as a "gut" (easy) course.

I waited before I struck on the first test against them, before the drop deadline had passed. It is not cheating at all as long as the same version of the test is not offered the same year. If you are unsure, e-mail or talk with your professor at the course and ask if she/he will allow a test bank to be used by you. Wow tarhunt that is really evil! Are these test banks generated? I don't think that it's cheating to look at them if the tests are published by the professors.

Then it's if they were obtained improperly. Wow tarhunt that is really wicked! Yes, but so richly deserved! Many fraternities and sororities have evaluation banks. If the professor will not change exams in any way, then they're inviting use (and misuse) of such a method. Essay evaluations can be made by them, if profs do not enjoy it. The only benefit they provide is that you've got a clearer idea of the way the information and questions will be requested by that particular professor. In my experience however, test files are helpful, but they do not compensate for understanding and not knowing the topic.

And test files slowly eliminate value over the years as professors and theories change, so they're just as good as they're updated and cleaned up. This is not cheating, provided that the evaluation isn't obtained by illegal ways. Using and saving old tests that were given back to students is completely valid. I had an encounter along these lines myself: a nutty old professor asked the very same questions on evaluations, year after year after year. I would advise that you attempt to find another course or department, even if it seems difficult to give up a simple grade, like I have just explained, if you can, if you experience a prof.

Otherwise, your analyzing strategy (and everything you get out of the course) can be wholly subverted. It isn't cheating - I taught in a university dept. that itself maintained a bank of tests right in the workplace for almost any students to consult. If going this route keeps a student from learning, then it might not be the best thing. You'll have to understand things on your career. I snip on the wire to defuse this item? You will be cheating yourself, if you merely learn to the exam. Perhaps the school can neutralize what some may see simply by submitting the tests on the department web website. My bio professor during summer closing from spring semester and put up her old midterm up on Blackboard so pupils could use them as study guides.

It's not cheating when the professor supplies them. If I can get it on Google at no cost, I say it's not illegal (this doesn't apply to press lol). But I did a quick Google search this upcoming quarter, and I discovered tests from the previous ten years. At UVa, many professors make students sign an oath that they have not looked at older tests. They've thrown out students who copied computer code from a previous student to get a course. Whatever the case, a prof should be smart enough to change their evaluations. If a pupil is dependent upon an evaluation bank, they will get hit once a test which was not at the test bank is handed out by the prof.

[fitono]

The 70+ Age Group Is a Fast-Growing Client Base for Personal Trainers. Here’s What You Need to Know to Work Successfully with Them

Consider these two statistics:

1. The Silent Generation—those born before the end of World War II, who’re now in their 70s and 80s—command a third of all wealth in the U.S. The Baby Boomers, the oldest of whom are now in their early 70s, control 50 percent.

2. The average 70-year-old is likely to live another 15 years.

Put those data points together, and you see why this demographic is so important to your future. They have time. They have money (with very little debt). And they know it takes effort to preserve their health and vitality. I speak from experience when I say they’re motivated and in need of quality trainers.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from training older adults in group and individual settings for more than 15 years, it’s that training them is very different from working with young or even middle-aged adults. If you don’t understand or address their unique needs, insecurities, and struggles, you risk losing them as clients or, worse, injuring them.

In this article, I’ll explain over how to attract this affluent, underserved, and often misunderstood generation, including these major points:

What works and doesn’t work to attract and retain these clients

Why being the “fitness expert” isn’t enough

What scares them the most

By the end, you’ll know how to provide seniors with a great service and how to bring more of them in.

Get to Know Your Older Clients

First Impressions Are Everything

Put yourself in the shoes of a 75-year-old woman whose doctor has just recommended that she seek out a personal trainer with the goal of improving her strength and cardiovascular fitness. She’s never had a health-club membership, and hasn’t done any formal exercise in decades. Look at your business through her eyes. What will she see when she gets to your front door?

Start with a fundamental question: Can she get through the door at all? Are there flights of stairs she has to climb, or obstacles that she’ll struggle to navigate with a cane or walker?

Once she’s in your facility, what will be her first impression? How will she react to the posters and signs on your walls? Is the staff dressed appropriately? Will they greet her with a friendly smile?

Then there’s the gym population.

Just as a 25-year-old bodybuilder would feel silly working out in a room full of 70-year-olds, so do older adults prefer training with people their own age.

While there are always exceptions, most clients tell me that being around younger, more aggressive trainees makes them feel they need to push themselves too far.

Another consideration: how you name your group classes. While “Killer Abs” might work for your youngest members, you’ll have a better chance of attracting seniors if you call it “Core and More.” A name that says “intensity” to a woman in her 20s says “injury” to someone old enough to be her grandmother. Remember that their goal is to stay healthy, not risk their health. In addition, many are dealing with physical limitations, if not constant pain. The last thing they want is a group class that increases their pain symptoms.

Common courtesy also matters a lot to this generation, says Dan Ritchie, Ph.D., co-founder and president of the Functional Aging Institute. Make eye contact. Actively engage in conversation. Most important of all: Stay off the phone!

Don’t Assume You Know What They Need or Want

Like all your clients, seniors want you to be qualified, experienced, and knowledgeable. They don’t expect you to understand all their challenges, but you should be open to learning what they are, and how much they can differ from one client to the next.

“One 70-year-old may be considering a nursing or retirement home, whereas another is still a competitive triathlete or adventure thrill-seeker,” Ritchie says.

Put another way, “some 70-year-olds are old,” while others still see their best years in front of them.

As you can imagine, these seniors will come to you with a wide range of goals—just like any other age group. You can’t make sweeping assumptions about what any individual client needs or wants. Your only option is to listen—really listen—to what they tell you.

One thing you’ll hear, early and often, is what they don’t want. These clients know their limits.

Use that to your advantage by putting them in the driver’s seat. Let them tell you what is and isn’t working for them. Go over your training plans with them in detail before you start, and don’t spring surprises on them, as you might with a younger client. It won’t go well.

When going over your workout prescription, be sure to describe the progression you have in mind. If they push back, it’s up to you to dial back your expectations to meet their concerns.

Don’t expect them to change their concerns to meet your expectations.

They must know you’re listening to them. If they suspect you aren’t, they’ll take their business elsewhere.

Here’s an example: When I explain to a client how I plan to increase the intensity of her program, I pay close attention to her reaction. If she laughs nervously, I ask why. Chances are she’ll express a fear of getting hurt. At that point, rather than insisting that I know what’s best for her, we’ll talk about how we can modify an exercise to make her more comfortable with it, or how we’ll be build up her skills before we make her program more challenging.

Communication is crucial at all stages of the program. When you think they’re ready for a new exercise or more intensity, give them plenty of notice, including frequent reminders of how you’ve prepared for this particular challenge. Pay close attention to any concerns they have. The aging process chips away at a person’s confidence with every unwelcome change to body and mind. Your programming has to build them up instead of beating them down. Each training session should leave them feeling successful and pleased with their progress.

Their success, in turn, will ensure your success. Not only will they be loyal clients, they’ll recommend you to their friends, and some of those friends will also be loyal to you.

Here’s an illustration of what I mean: I’ve been training a lady in her late 70s who has arthritis in her knees and neck, and is awaiting a knee replacement. I was hired to increase her core and upper-body strength. She had never lifted weights before, which is intimidating for anyone her age. But her biggest fear was getting hurt or falling.

For our first month of training, she stayed in a chair. Then we moved to a mat. Eventually, I was able to put her on a stability ball for seated poses. Now she performs her exercises while prone on the ball. Because of her arthritis, some days are harder than others, and we adjust the intensity accordingly.

We make progress because, at every stage, I acknowledge her concerns and help her feel comfortable. I keep her ability and fears in the top of my mind even as I try to increase those abilities and minimize those fears. If I’d put her on a stability ball on day one, I’m certain she would’ve cancelled our future appointments. Now, as she gains confidence, I add new equipment, but only if she feels comfortable with it.

The hardest lesson here for a trainer is that you often have to forego your own expectations when training this clientele.

Don’t Write Them Off as “Old”

On the other hand, you’ll find older clients who don’t want to be treated like fine china. That’s why Maureen Hagan, vice president of operations at Goodlife Fitness Centers, says that seniors don’t like “being stereotyped as old, frail, or out into the category of senior.”

As Ritchie notes, “Clients in their 70s and up are probably looking for a trainer who’s caring and compassionate and understanding that their bodies won’t allow them to train as hard as when they were 30 or 40. But they don’t want to be treated as if they’re sick and nearly dead, either. They want a safe, effective workout that serves their goals. They want more energy, more strength, more balance and agility, and more functional ability.”

Furthermore, few gyms offer effective programming. “Most trainers and facilities are not training this population hard enough,” he says.

This doesn’t negate anything I just said about paying attention to their fears and concerns. It just means that, once you’ve done a proper assessment of your client’s health, abilities, and training history, you need to build programming to challenge that client effectively. A workout that’s too easy, or based on a template of what you think a client his age should be able to do, can be just as bad for your client’s motivation as a program that’s too aggressive.

Three Ways to Annoy and Frustrate Seniors

An Overcrowded Gym

To be sure, nobody likes to work out in a jam-packed health club. Nobody likes to wait for equipment, or fight for a spot in front of the mirror, or worry about someone walking into your field of vision in the middle of a lift. But imagine what a crowded weight room does to a senior. Imagine the anxiety for someone who isn’t comfortable or confident to begin with. Imagine the fear of being jostled and knocked over, or of walking into someone else whose movements she can’t anticipate.

Also keep in mind that a lot of your senior trainees will use hearing aids. If the room is too crowded, it affects their ability to distinguish sounds, increases their anxiety, and heightens the risk of an avoidable injury or accident.

Loud, Inappropriate Music

Loud music can inhibit a senior’s ability to hear instructions, which may prompt the trainer to raise his voice. That wouldn’t be an issue for a younger client, but to someone in her 70s, it sounds like someone half her age is yelling at her. In general, if you have to raise your voice to be heard, that’s not an appropriate training environment for older adults.

If you play music while your clients are exercising, consider the style of music that will motivate them. I guarantee you that most will not enjoy rap. Do your homework and pick popular hits from their era. Better yet, ask for their preferences, and play their favorite songs or bands the next time you train with them. When you do, be prepared for some of them to sing along.

Avoid Complicated Instructions

Coaching and cueing are art forms. You don’t need to say much if you’re doing them right. A few considerations:

Don’t be too verbose in your directions.

Keep your language simple and clear. I’ve found that modeling the movement is far more effective than long-winded descriptions.

Colin Milner, founder and CEO of the International Council on Active Aging, says you have to remember that a client who’s physically fit “could be cognitively compromised.” Because it can take that client longer to process information, you should give just one detail to focus on at a time.

Here’s what I mean: If you’re training a younger client, you first model the exercise. Then, when he attempts it, you might correct his form while simultaneously explaining the benefits, or why you’ve selected this option over others for the same movement pattern or muscle groups. With a senior, he’ll be so focused on performing the movement that he won’t be able to process your explanation.

The solution is to slow down the training experience. If you have important information about form or safety, share it when they aren’t moving. Let them focus on the exercise while they’re doing it.

Specialize in Addressing Their Concerns

Now that you’re aware of senior clients’ needs, fears, and frustrations, you can figure out how to tailor your services to accommodate them.

Milner suggests choosing which class of seniors you want to train by looking at five levels of functionality:

Athletic: exercises or is physically active every day.

Fit: participates in physical activity at least three days per week.

Independent: active at least two days per week.

Frail: active less than two days per week.

Dependent: doesn’t do any physical activity.

Your choice will determine how you advertise to prospective clients, as well as the environment in which you train them. For example, clients in the first two categories will be looking to maintain or improve their fitness level and possibly their sport performance. Clients in the Independent category want to be strong and flexible enough to keep living alone. Frail and Dependent clients probably need help on more basic issues, like getting up and down from a chair or reaching for something on a shelf.

Environment matters a lot. If you’re working out of a large gym that caters to a younger crowd, you’re going to attract very few seniors unless the gym is attached to a community center or mall that seniors frequent. Depending on the class of seniors you target, you may need to offer classes in residences, or rent your own space that you can set up with the goal of addressing their unique concerns.

For example, if you want to attract athletic seniors, advertise where they play their sport—typically golf or tennis. Since I’m in Canada, many of my clients curl, and they always want to know how to improve their game. You can entice them with small, sport-specific group training classes at your facility, such as a Strengthen Your Core and Improve Your Golf Score class for senior golfers. Keep in mind that senior athletes who’re retired and affluent have a lot of time to devote to their sport, and they’re interested in anything that they think will improve their performance or allow them to do it with less pain or discomfort.

Another surprisingly successful strategy is to pick a piece of equipment—bands, sliding discs, tubing, weights—and build a program around it. The key is to find a need that the equipment addresses for seniors. It can be strength, flexibility, coordination, or even memory. Your goal is to offer a unique approach to training that helps senior stay functionally fit for the rest of their lives.

For example, I’ve been very successful at remarketing balance pods, which are similar to the Bosu ball, but much smaller and cheaper. The ones I use are about eight inches in diameter, with bumps on the rounded side. I have 40, and easily transport them in my car for group classes. My clients like my pod classes because they’re a fun way to improve balance and core strength, both of which become life-and-death concerns when a single fall can take away their independence.

Try this: Ask local clubs if you can offer one-day group training to help their clients achieve a specific goal, like addressing common fitness concerns related to improving sport performance. Your program could then lead to future business for both you and the club.

Another option is to give presentations to local organizations as a guest speaker. Our local Weight Watchers chapter, for example, offers monthly seminars by professionals in a variety of areas. I once demonstrated a chair-stretching program, which not only gave the participants strategies they could use at home, it gave me valuable exposure in the community.

Sometimes the best approach to training seniors is to focus on fun, rather than fitness, as the primary benefit.

Let’s say you start with the idea that a lot of older adults love to dance, but many in this group are widowed, divorced, or otherwise without a partner who shares their love for the dance floor. In 2011, I taught line dancing in a group setting. It became so popular that I now have a waiting list to get into my classes. As a fitness professional, I know that dancing checks a lot of boxes, allowing seniors to socialize while improving their balance, coordination, and memory.

Even in more traditional exercise classes, many of my clients and students tell me they come to the gym to be with their friends. They often meet for coffee afterwards. If you can help them form a community, and perhaps even carve out a small space in your facility for them to hang out together before and after their workouts, you’re going to attract more seniors to your business.

Two Things that Scare Senior Clients

Falling

This is the number-one fear, says Maureen Hagan of Goodlife Fitness Centers, because it means losing their independence and “subsequently having to rely on caregivers or assisted living.” You can acknowledge this fear by choosing exercises that improve balance and core strength while working from a stable position.

For core stability, you could start your client on all fours with a bird dog, raising her opposite arm and leg. As she progresses, you might introduce a balance pod, placing it under a knee or hand. From there, you can advance to standing one-leg exercises, perhaps with a chair nearby for support.

Also keep in mind the small hazards an older client will encounter in any gym. Are there mats or pieces of equipment in areas where he might stumble into them? If a client is visually impaired, he could walk right into the edge of a barbell or weight rack.

Another consideration is the difficulty an older client might have getting on and off a machine. One time a client grabbed onto a machine for support when he was climbing onto another. It almost fell on top of him. Luckily, I caught it in time, but it goes to show how important it is to let the client set the pace of the training session, including the transition from one station to the next. If you try to rush him, you never know what can happen.

Additionally, some seniors may suffer from vertigo, a condition that can bring sudden feelings of dizziness. If you know this in advance, you can avoid using exercises that require getting up and down off of the floor multiple times. Even if a client doesn’t have an official diagnosis of vertigo, you can bring on dizziness by having her move quickly from sit-ups to squats or leg presses and then back down to push-ups on the floor. For someone predisposed to vertigo, sitting on a stability ball can trigger a dizzy spell. Another trigger is having their head below their heart. So even if a client can perform an exercise like a push-up with his feet on a stability ball, it’s out of the question if he has vertigo.

You can learn all this from your clients if you simply ask. They may even volunteer the information.

“The biggest mistake trainers make is not listening,” Milner says.

He describes an unfortunate experience close to home: When his 75-year-old mother went to a gym to meet a trainer, she told him about her vertigo and suggested she begin the workout on a stationary bike. The trainer ignored her and started her on a treadmill instead. She promptly fell, and never returned to that gym.

Loss of Stamina

Hagan says that “younger” seniors—those in their late 60s and early 70s—have an understandable fear of losing their youthful vitality. While that can include anything from strength to athletic skill, in my experience, nothing scares seniors as much as losing their stamina. It’s scary to realize you can’t do as much as you could just a few short years ago.

Your mission as a trainer is to show them what they can do, giving them some “I’ve still got it” moments. If a female client can no longer do bootcamp classes, perhaps you can steer her toward Pilates, or teach her some yoga postures she can master.

Another consideration, notes Ona McDonald, PRO-Trainer for the Canadian Fitness Professionals, is that an hour-long training session may be too much for some clients. That’s why I now offer programs that can be completed in 30 minutes or less. I want my clients to leave a session feeling energized, not exhausted. Go to the CanFitPro website to find workshops offered by Ona that will teach you all about caring for this wonderful population.

Armed with these suggestions, you now have the tools you need to attract this growing demographic into your business. Working with the 70-plus crowd continues to be the most rewarding part of my professional career.

Resources

Dan Ritchie and Cody Sipe offer certifications at the Functional Aging Institute.

Colin Milner’s organization, the International Council on Active Aging, offers educational materials targeted to older adults.

Canfitpro offers an active aging certificate.

Maureen Hagan offers this 47-minute video on functional fitness for older adults, focusing on back health.

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