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boonesfarmsangria · 11 months ago

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Mike Farrell Reflects on Captain B.J. Hunnicutt’s Ahead of ‘M*A*S*H’ TV Special

Scott Fishman, TV Insider Dec 21, 2023 Updated Dec 22, 2023 0

Mike Farrell knew he had a lot to live up to when he joined the 4077th Medical Corps and cast of M*A*S*H as Captain B.J. Hunnicutt. The well-versed actor already had an impressive career including a stint on Days of Our Lives. However, this was a completely different kind of pressure coming into season 4 of a highly successful series after the exit of Wayne Rogers, who played Captain “Trapper” John McIntyre.

He was up to the challenge with viewers connecting with the devoted family man and what would be a long-time bond with Alan Alda’s Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce. Viewers will ever forget the shot during the historic series finale where B.J. yells out that he left a note for Hawkeye. As he flies away in the helicopter, he soon notices that his good friend spelled out the word “Goodbye” with rocks on the ground.

It’s these types of iconic moments and characters that are celebrated during FOX’s upcoming M*A*S*H: The Comedy That Changed Television. Executive-produced by John Scheinfeld and Andy Kaplan, this two-special delves into the Emmy-winning run over 11 seasons through the perspective of the cast and visionaries behind the scenes.

Joining Farrell and Alda on the doc is Gary Burghoff (Cpl. Walter “Radar” O’Reilly), and Loretta Swit (Maj. Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan) to name a few, as well as series executive producers Gene Reynolds and Burt Metcalfe. Those who have since passed, including show creator Larry Gelbart, Rogers, Larry Linville (Maj. Frank Burns), Harry Morgan (Col. Sherman T. Potter), and McLean Stevenson (Lt. Col. Henry Blake) are spotlighted through archival photos and footage.

Here Farrell opens up about his emotional reaction to the special. The 84-year-old also describes what it’s like to see the beloved sitcom still resonate more than 40 years after it ended.

Michael Farrell

How often do you go back and watch the episodes back?

Mike Farrell: The popularity of the show continues to astonish me and thrill me, frankly. I get constant emails, and mail, calls to keep it fresh in my mind, and its extraordinary impact. I don’t make a point of looking for it on television, but sometimes it’s there. And when it’s there, I can’t stop looking at it and watching those people I love so much and care about. To see and remember who they were and what we did together. It’s something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I’m so thrilled to be a part of it that it’s hard to put into words.

I remember seeing Alan Alda share a photo of you two toasting to the 50th anniversary of the show’s premiere. How is it for you to still have these close connections after all these years?

For us, it’s a family situation. We enjoyed working together and having this kind of bond that continues to this day. We talk about how much we love each other and stay in touch regularly. It has been something that brings an ongoing extraordinary rush of gratitude and appreciation for all of us here…Then you see David Ogden Stiers, Harry Morgan, Larry Linville, and others on the special. There is that sense of longing for somebody who you knew, loved, and enjoyed working with. It’s piercing at the heart when you see that sometimes. For me, I’m overwhelmed with the warmth that comes back from seeing Harry, remembering the relationship we had not only during the show but afterward. Watching Alan and his incredible wit and hijinks. Some of those things stay with me today. When I tell stories, I can’t help but get misty about those memories. It’s an everlasting love affair for me.

It’s fun to think about what would have happened if social media had been around during M*A*S*H’s original run. For example, B.J.’s mustache would be a hot topic of conversation.

People often ask me, “What do you think of the mustache?” I will say my mother hated the mustache. The mustache was a fun thing. Alan called me at the beginning of one season and said, “They think we are too much alike. What do you think about growing a mustache?” I thought it was a great idea. We made a lot out of it, which was fun to do. I wore what started as a red long shirt. Through many washes, it came out pink. I thought it was hilarious to be wearing a pink shirt in the middle of all that. I get many comments from people in the gay community who tell me they loved my pink shirt and ask if that was a signal. I tell them no, but that I’m glad they noticed it.

One of the topics that gets tackled in the special is B.J.’s character and moment of infidelity with a nurse divorcee. After all this time, I even saw a Reddit thread asking if B.J. cheated on his wife Peg.

I remember when I first met with the guys and they were talking about the possibility of Wayne leaving. I told them the one thing I didn’t want to do as an actor was come in and step in the boots of “Trapper.” They understood. They had in mind a fellow who was married, not a womanizer like “Hawkeye” or “Trapper,” who had a child at home. And he is going to be true to his wife and family. You’re talking about modeling fidelity on television, I didn’t mind that at all. We laughed. It stayed that way. One year we did a show where Blythe Danner played the guest star. She and “Hawkeye had been having a love affair in medical school, and she was temporarily assigned to our station. She was married, but the affair popped up again.

There is a scene where “Hawkeye” asks B.J. if he has ever been unfaithful. I said never. He said, “You ever tempted?” I said, “Tempted is a different question.” He said, “So, you have been tempted?” I said, “No, it was a different question.” It was a good gag. Larry Gelbart, who wrote the scene was ont eh stage when we finished that shot. I said, “Larry, that was wonderful, but let me suggest the idea. The fact B.J. is a faithful husband is great by me, but to suggest a man was not tempted goes too far. I don’t think we need to paint in that pristine manner.” He said that was a good thought. A year later Gene remembers that conversation with Larry. He asked, “What do you feel about B.J. falling off the fidelity wagon?” I said, “It depends on how you resolve it.”

How do you feel it came out?

I loved the whole process that they cared enough to hear me out, and decided it was worth dealing with that question. I thought they resolved it in a classy way. B.J. was upset about what he had done. It was brief and a misstep. He was miserable about it. “Hawkeye” gave him hell because he was going to write home and tell Peg. He said, “Don’t do that to her. If you must confess for whatever the transgression, wait until you get home where you can be with her and talk to her. I thought it was great that they were willing to explore the kind of experience people are put through in these circumstances.

It was almost like it didn’t matter how far they went, but didn’t matter. He would feel the same way.

Exactly. But the idea of them spending the night together in a bed, under those circumstances, and didn’t go far sounds a little stretch to me.

When was the moment you felt how big a show M*A*S*H was?

I was in Southeast Asia during one of our breaks. After my second or third year there on the show when I went around, I was astonished at the no matter what part of the world, the show meant something to the.m. This one man said, “Your show constantly underscores for me the meaning of peace and the need for peace in this world.” I came back to set and Alan and I were sitting together during the first day of the season back. I said, “Are you hearing what I’m hearing out there?” He said, “Yeah, we need to be aware of the way the show is affecting people.

We decided on a regular meeting as a cast and talked through the issues of the day. Alan and I both made it a point that this show is having an impact that is beyond just being a popular television show. We need to be seriously committed to making sure we do the best work we can do. Everyone got it and agreed and rededicated ourselves to commit to doing meaningful work because of the audience’s respect and appreciation for the show.

What are your overall thoughts on the FOX special while screening it?

I watched it with tears streaming down my face while laughter burst from my mouth. It was an extraordinary tribute. Not only to the show and people involved but the people involved behind the scenes. I’m glad they included the clip of Gene, Larry, and in particular Burt Metcalfe, the casting genius who brought many of the characters to the show; me included. He was a powerful force in maintaining the integrity of the show. It was deeply touching and I think the audience will love it. It shows the significance and the work of the characters and the way the show was built and what it became. I was thrilled when I saw it.

How do you think the show would do in today’s TV landscape?

I think it would remain a touchstone for people I can’t tell you how many veterans have contacted me. Even children of veterans. They would say. “My dad would never talk about his experience in the war until he saw your show. Then he would say, ‘That’s the way it was.”…That it has stayed relevant and meaningful to people for generations speaks volumes about the show.

M*A*S*H: The Comedy That Changed Television premiere, January 1, 8/7c, FOX

@stroyent 🤝

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majorbaby · 2 years ago

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What are your favourite things about Margaret Houlihan?

I like that she's a complex character with a very diverse arc. She's good and kind yes, she's also insufferable and cruel at times.

I personally liked her best as an antagonist, but I like when she's a hero to, and in that role, Loretta/Margaret could be villain and hero at the same time just by virtue of taking up so much space, despite the fact that Gelbart and Reynolds gave much of her MASH (1970) role to Frank Burns. Everyone knows it's Margaret calling the shots, and so the production reflects the plot and I love that shit - can we not almost immediately tell that Frank Burns will run his course, but Margaret Houlihan will go on to grow and continue to be a force in a new way?

so even though i love her as a villain, in this case, I place more value on what she and Loretta brought to primetime american television audiences than what I as an individual want. More on that some other time.

I like that she's self-aware, and the show is aware of that too. It makes the transition from early to late-seasons Margaret feel natural, rather than shoe-horned in. She knows she's changed. She reflects on her past relationships (Stars and Stripes) and her past selves (Comrades in Arms pt. 2).

I like that it makes so much fucking sense for her to have such dramatic character development because she's done it before: Lorraine Anderson remarks how much Margaret has changed when they're reunited. Are you Now, Margaret tells us that Margaret was apparently hanging out with young "undesirables" and perhaps even was one herself at some point, rubbing shoulders with communists and having car sex with her college boyfriend. And I like that she then grows up to be Frank Burns' sidechick, homewrecker, repressed hot mess... the poorest of poor little meow meows. A blorbo if I ever had one.

I like that she's kinky.

I like that she's a foil to Hawkeye but she's also his equal in loving without fear or reservation. I love that every time she does that, it blows up in her face, but it's still clear to us that she'll do it as many times as it takes to find the real thing. I like that just like Hawkeye, by the end of the show I'm confident that she's going to be just fine.

I like that whenever Margaret is on screen, it's clear to me that she wants something and she's going to do whatever she can in her power to get that thing. I especially like when that "thing" that she wants is something more for herself. That "wanting something and going for it" is what makes her main character material. I like that she's a main character and you kind of get that sense no matter how often she's relegated to supporting cast. She and Klinger are alike in that way.

I like that she fucks Hawkeye when she's still married to Donald. I like that she doesn't fuck Trapper even though she's attracted to him, because she loves Frank. I like that she fucks Frank outdoors, in supply, behind supply and in the x-ray room. I like that she fucks.

I like that she leaves. She leaves Frank, Donald and Scully. I like that it's easy to extrapolate her leaving a man who can't offer what she deserves in exchange for her loyalty, love and dedication, to her one day leaving the military.

I'd like to say I'd watch a whole show about Margaret, but because of her enormous, demanding presence on MASH, it feels as though I've already done that.

#replies #mash #re: mash #margaret houlihan #margaret meta

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mylittleredgirl · 10 months ago

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m*a*s*h season three continues!! disc two!!

"alcoholics unanimous" is so funny oh my god

the scene where trapper, hot lips, and hawkeye are all lit and making each other laugh is note perfect i want to live in it forever. i can't decide if "who was that guy?" was scripted or if loretta swit just went for a one-shot kill after the scene was over but i live for these bits when margaret accidentally ends up on team 100 proof

it's also nice of them to periodically remind us that frank has a huge wang. i'm glad he's got that one thing going for him

they're really softening hot lips this season 💕

they're styling her much younger, too. the barrettes! the ponytails!!!! i might never recover from the ponytails.

and the scene where she is reading a that letter to radar while he's in the hospital, and she has that little giddy smile at the end! it's so sweeeeeet it's killing me come on

i have a lot of thoughts about frank and margaret, and like five of them are about the phone call in the nurses episode

"knowing you'd kill me makes my life worthwhile" see. with the laugh track off, this joke turns into just margaret staring dreamily in soft focus and the realization that ohhhh. oh no. she really means that. she's like in love in love with this clown, that's so embarrassing for her

(also from that episode: the afterlife song is stuck in my head! the nurse song with the halfhearted montage though like. what happened in the editing room there.)

(also hilarious that trapper misses his wife for the first and only time when every woman in the camp is gone)

"adam's rib" - i like how everyone universally thinks hawkeye's quest is dumb, but they climb aboard the shenanigans because they have nothing else to do

WE LIED TO MILDRED!!!

i don't think i've mentioned how much i love henry and radar together. their comic timing is flawless. that bit of talking over each other never gets old. and then whenever they love and defend each other!!! i love a professional substitute dad

time for "bombed"!!! blow that pyrotechnics budget babyyyyy! blow shit up! break windows! light stuff on fire!!

the trapper/hot lips ship watch on this blog turned into a ship warning just in time for the two of them to get locked in a supply tent and not bang

you gotta admit the long-running ust potential here is pretty great (they hate each other) (but he's a little obsessed about hating her) (and she lusts after him) (and they're both hot)

SADLY for my cause there was no booze in there, because every time she gets drunk she's like "regrettably, there's frank" but sober she wants to marry him

no wonder he wants to outlaw alcohol in the camp

"we held hands and said the pledge of allegiance together" okay they are genuinely so funny sometimes though

i'm also falling hard for hawkeye/trapper but they would never be exclusive so multishipping is built in

last on the disc is "bulletin board"!!!

an episode about nothing is so soothing after all the explosives. the balance of action and Just Hanging Around in this series is really enjoyable

trapper writing a letter to his daughter 🥺

"korea? the war still?" and the rest of that little pillow fight scene. so much sibling energy in the swamp.

henry losing that patient hit well. i hate to be like "i'm rooting for patients to die" because it's not that, but they save them so successfully that it's dramatically satisfying whenever they don't. and i like how it silently affects henry through the rest of the ep while the rest of them have fun

that long beautiful shot of all of them running back to camp!!!!

ok this post took me like three days to write somehow because i rewatched everything ENJOYYYYYY

#i could write this many bullet points about any single episode but i'm playing it cool you know #mashblogging #it's about time i watched m*a*s*h

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rescue-ram · 1 year ago

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Finished my rewatch of S1

This has been my first experience binge watching MASH- I don't think I've ever watched more than 4 episodes in a row before, and usually not in order. So it was really interesting actually watching the show this way...

Hawkeye- his characterization stood out to me. While he's definitely not doing a Donald Sutherland impression, his portrayal is closer to movie than late series. Very laconic. In "Bananas, Crackers, and Nuts" there's a line where Frank calls him "a rock" which retrospectively feels like a joke, but in S1 isn't- he's clearly very stable and pretty unflappable.

I actually was tallying the amount of times Trapper and Hawkeye explicitly hook up with nurses and the crimes they commit lol and was surprised by how low the number is for both lol. Between the two of them they hooked up with women in 7 episodes, though they're referenced as doing it more often and they flirt/get shot down/refuse sex a little more often, bringing total up to 12. Only two episodes really featured pranks, which was also surprising

I know Major Fred C. Dobbs is in the running for worst MASH episode but I liked it lol. It was funny and had some quality TrapHawk moments, and the Hawnk kiss at the end made me laugh even as I added it to the rap sheet

Just tallying up the days that pass on screen gets us to just over 3 months, giving me little a hope for my horrible timeline ldkkdjf

I really liked the recurring characters- they didn't have a lot of depth per se but they made things feel fleshed out. It was nice having recurring nurses I could recognize and I will miss my boy Ugly John. God that we lived in the alternate universe where the writers had figured out what to do with Oliver...

Also was thinking about how a lot of the racist moments kinda come from the writers trying to engage in a neutral-to-well-meaning way but alas they were all white guys raised in a white supremacist culture and cannot escape that influence so it comes out horrifically dated, but I think they do try more in the early seasons

I had forgotten what a minor character Mulcahy is in S1. He gets a couple little moments, but I think Margie and Dish have more scenes lol...

Trapper my baby Trapper, he does not necessarily have a lot to do besides be lovable but he does it well. Him providing pediatric care for local kids is deffo going in my note document for Shit Trapper Is Doing lol...

Henry and Radar's relationship 🥹 I really liked both characters, scamp!Radar is so good, and Henry is so funny with these little moments of genuine wisdom and compassion... Good shit

I really liked both Margaret and Frank, not a lot to say beyond that, but they're just so good. Just enough nuance to make 'em pop.

Gaaaaah many more thoughts than I can type, but in conclusion I Love MASH

#mash

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marley-manson · 7 months ago

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1, 7, and 16?

Thank you! <3

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

I guess one shots? I've noticed even when I write longer fic, like 20-30k, I write it like a one shot rather than structuring it into chapters. Army Style was a one shot that I just split into two after finishing it. I do have one chaptered wip, but it's still a wip because it's hard to write lol :(

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

Yk, I've never really thought of this lol. The pov feels like it comes pre-packaged with the idea. In a few fics I switch povs between different characters, and it's always like, okay I want to explore this person's perspective on the story for a scene now. In my most recent Berserk fic I opened with Casca's point of view despite her not being in the rest of the story at all, and that was because I wanted to write an outsider pov on Griffith's initial reaction to the inciting incident. It's a bit of an odd choice, but it was fun to write.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

lol depends what nurturing means. Assuming it means fic I'd like to finish at some point, maybe nine? The most recent Mash idea, which I've only written bits and pieces of in a physical journal, is a sort of five things style fic where it's five people who discover that Hawkeye and Frank are sleeping together post-canon, in reverse chronological order so it eventually leads to showing how they got together. But also the five things format makes it easier to handwave logistics lol so it seems like a good formula for endgame hawk/frank bc idk if I can make it stand up to scrutiny.

ask meme

#text post #ask meme

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weltato · 8 months ago

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I'm going to gush about a very old character (as in the original run of the show is very old, not the character himself).

Hello Tumblr! I remembered the finale of M*A*S*H the other day, as you do, and it just hit me as to why I fucking love Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce so much.

If you don't know this character/show, dw, I'm keeping things under the cut so you can scroll away :)

If you want to read on anyway, warning for infant death.

So, Hawkeye :)

My goodness, this man is SO well written. I need to explain to you why I find him so endearing.

He's a jokester, that much is obvious right off the bat, so he pranks others and can get a dig at others quite well, but he never does it maliciously. Well, sure, he's an ass to Frank and Charles most especially and will absolutely take any and every opportunity to fuck with them, but he's not out to actively harm anyone.

Which is nice, since he's the Head Surgeon. You'd like to think that your Head Surgeon isn't a serial killer.

He's a ladies man. A chronic ladies man. He makes a pass at almost every single nurse at camp - especially Houlihan - and that's iconic about him. But d'you wanna know what's even more iconic?

As soon as he finds out the girl he's seeing is married or in a relationship, he'll stop. Sometimes he's even outright asked if they're taken, then he'll make a joke and move on if they are.

Hawkeye isn't a marriage breaker.

And I love that about him. He doesn't want to come between couples; it doesn't matter if the marriage/relationship is a happy one or not, he's not about to go and break up a marriage/relationship for his own personal gain. He's just not that kind of guy.

Any time kids come into it, he's immediately protective. He's not going to show a child more pain and suffering when they've already been brought through a warzone and are probably orphaned now and also had to have major surgery.

I mean, that's his whole thing in the finale. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!

Quick reminder for context: in 'Goodbye, Farewell and Amen' we begin with Hawk away from the M*A*S*H and in a mental hospital for some reason. We (the audience) don't know why, but it's clear that everyone else (the characters) do know. Hawk doesn't think he should be there and seems pretty miserable about it, but then we learn why he's there - a baby died.

And here's the kicker: Hawk blames himself. He thinks it's his fault that the baby is dead. Why?

Well, at first he remembers the event as everyone having a fun day out for once and Hawk in the back calling out for a bottle of something alcoholic for a guy he's sat with.

Then it turns out it's not for fun. The guy he's with is bleeding out, he needs a bottle of either the clear stuff (idk what that would be, I'm not a medical student) or a bottle of blood for a quick transfusion.

What's great about how this scene is shot is that, at first, it stays with the upbeat and happy tone from Hawk, but then the deadly silent and morbid passing of the bottle, and then it shifts to the darker tone.

Now, that's not the baby scene.

Here comes the baby scene.

Hawkeye at first remembers a woman with a chicken when the bus ran into enemy territory and everyone had to be quiet. The chicken wasn't quiet and so he asked the woman if she could get the chicken to be quiet. And it was. It just stopped.

Sidney asks about it - "It stopped?"

"Yeah, it stopped."

Then we cut back to the woman at the back of the bus. The crying woman at the back of the bus. And the still bundle in her arms.

It was her baby. Her little baby that was also crying just a few seconds ago. The noise that Hawkeye wanted to make stop because they'd be caught with all these casualties and innocent people and he's stressed, ok?

That baby is dead. The mum had to smother her own child so they wouldn't be found. And Hawkeye is distraught over this, because he's the one that told her to.

Ugh. I can't even. This man has been through SO much and has seen death and destruction daily, so much so that he's basically numb to it at this point, but a baby dying is too much and he just breaks-

He's in a high stress situation 24/7, it makes sense that eventually the rock of the 4077th would crack. He couldn't say goodbye to Trapper, Henry died on his flight home, Radar left them to go back home to his mum - Hawk has the friends he still has, of course, but he's only human and a human can only take so much.

It's when Sidney deems him well enough to at least go back to the camp that Hawkeye gets his next challenge. Wounded have arrived and they really need him to help out, so he does and it's going pretty well for the most part (y'know, as well as meatball surgery can go) until a child comes across his table. A little girl, probably no older than 6 or 7. Everyone in the room goes quiet, though they're still working since they can't exactly pause while elbow deep in someone's guts, and Colonel Potter (or BJ, I can't remember which) asks if Hawk's ok. BJ (or Colonel Potter) says he can take her. Sidney watches on as Hawkeye takes a second, looks this girl over, then nods.

He can do it. Sidney smiles - his job is done.

Sure, it's hard, but Hawkeye can work, and that's all he needs to know.

Hawkeye, the man who loves a joke and loves messing around with his friends.

Hawkeye, the man who chases after every 'single' woman but not the ones in relationships.

Hawkeye, the man who plays pranks on the whole camp but is kind hearted enough to never cause actual harm because he believes in the Hippocratic Oath so. strongly.

Hawkeye, the man who cares for the children that come into the M*A*S*H despite having none of his own because those are children and they should be anywhere but a war.

Hawkeye, the man who sticks around the longest out of everyone (except Margaret since she's there as long as he is) and can always find something to smile at even though he's always wanting to leave and never does.

Hawkeye, the man who takes his job very seriously and gets angry when other doctors try to come in and flaunt their fancy-schmancy skills that mean nothing out there.

Hawkeye, the man who takes offense at generals who think they can change something when they don't know what the fuck goes on at all.

Hawkeye. The man I would love to be friends with.

I love him so much. I love the writing of him so much. He's just...he's Hawkeye. And I love him.

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caffiene-fueled-fuckery · 1 year ago

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Whumptober 2023 - Day 1: MASH (Radar H/C)

What if it hadn't been Henry that was trapped in the bombed out latrine that day? What if it had been Radar instead?

Rewrite of S3Ep15: Bombed

The ground shook as the shell hit the compound, knocking nurses and corpsman to the ground and the doctors nearly on top of their patients. Shards of shrapnel exchanged for shards of glass as the windows blew in, narrowly missing a medic’s exposed skin. Dust plummeted from the ceiling while dirt flew in the window, and it was all they could do to keep the patients from having debris lodged in their open wounds.

“Somebody give me a towel!”

“Somebody put a blanket over that window!”

“Kellye!” Margaret called, directing the nurse to use the blanket in her arms. Another nurse and a corpsman helped her cover the window as the screaming continued, only perforated by the exploding shells not 50 meters away.

Hawkeye’s voice broke through the din. “All right, keep calm, everybody. This can’t go on much more than forever.”

Frank sneered at Hawkeye, but it merely masked his panic—and poorly at that. “Come on. Give me that glove.”

“Doctor—” Sanchez tried to say, but Frank cut her off as he shoved his hand back towards her.

“Get it on! Come on!”

“Margaret!”

The woman turned back to Hawkeye, still leaned half over the patient. “Yes, Doctor?”

He held the patient down with a forearm across his chest, praying that he’d fall unconscious before the next shell hit a bit too close. “We’re gunna need a lot of sulfa.”

“We’ve got plenty.”

The door to the OR slammed against the wall, its noise nearly unheard under the booming of Henry’s voice. “Pierce, McIntyre, Burns—Anyone! Come quick!”

Frank’s head jerked up, voice tight and hands shaking. “What happened?”

“It’s Radar! He’s in the latrine!”

“Hooray for regularity,” Hawkeye joked, though it lacked its usual mirth.

“It’s been hit,” Henry bit. “He’s trapped!”

Hawkeye moved without hesitation, calling back to Margaret as he left. “Debride the wound.”

He jogged out of the OR behind Henry, Klinger and a couple of corpsman hot on his heels. Henry turned back to them outside the wreckage of the latrine, complete with snapped planks of timber and flaming sheet metal, the panic in his eyes quickly making its way to the rest of his body. “If anything’s happened to Radar, I don’t know what I’ll do. He’s like a son to me!”

“Henry, settle down.” Hawkeye reached for a piece of sheet metal, passing it back to Klinger. “Now, what seat did he normally use?”

“Uh, left, on the far side. Picture window. Here.” Henry crouched down, tugging at the splintered wood and tossing it behind him.

“Radar?” Hawkeye began calling for him, prompting the others to begin calling for him as well. “Radar!”

“Wait a minute!” Klinger stepped forward, holding his hands up. “Hold it! Shh. I heard a moan.” Silence fell over the group. Klinger crouched over the debris, the hem of his dress snagging on a nail. “Radar, if you can hear me, knock three times! If you can’t, knock twice!”

In the dragging silence that followed, Henry shot Klinger an incredulous look, only to be distracted by the shifting of metal. One knock. Two knocks.

Klinger gasped. “Oh Lord, he’s dead.”

“Radar!” Henry screamed, lifting everything within his reach to get closer to Radar.

“Radar, you alright?” Hawkeye shouted, passing some more metal to a corpsman.

The search continued, only halting for a moment when Henry froze, staring at something beneath a 2x4. He tugged at the fraying fabric until it became unhooked from the wood and flung into his lap. “Radar’s hat…” He looked up at the rest of them before diving back into the pile, heaving at the debris. “Radar!”

“I’m… here…”

Radar’s weak voice barely made it to their ears. Hawkeye and Henry got as close to the sound as they could, moving one more piece of sheet metal before one of the boy’s arms became visible. Henry grasped it and began pulling him out of the pile while Hawkeye waited another moment for his head to be visible.

“Don’t touch the other one,” he told Hawkeye, his glasses so cracked his eyes were obstructed from view. “Think s’broken.”

“Okay, alright, take it easy. Up we get.”

Hawkeye, careful not to jostle his arm, grabbed around his waist to pull him the rest of the way out. As soon as his foot came free, Henry guided him to sit on an overturned oil drum. “Radar? Are you alright?”

“‘M okay.”

“That’s convincing,” Hawkeye remarked.

“‘M fine, sir.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” said Henry, though his voice remained gentle. He reached forward and removed Radar’s broken frames, revealing glassy eyes that struggled to focus on him. Henry furrowed his brows. “Gee, kid, you took quite the beating. Let me see your arm.”

Radar hissed when Henry’s fingers so much as prodded at his skin, teeth clenching and eyes screwing shut. Henry stayed focused on examining his arm, but could still hear his laboured breathing. “Easy, Radar. You’re alright.”

“Actually, sir—”

“Just a small break.”

“Sir—”

“Nothing too serious.”

“Colonel Blake,” Radar tried once more, his voice wavering and small. “I don’t feel so good…”

“Hmm?” He looked up, taking in the ashen face before him. Henry released his arm, just in time to move out of the way as Radar’s stomach heaved and his lunch splattered to the ground between his feet. “Oh, geez…”

“Sor—”

Henry rubbed his back when his stomach cut him off with another heave. “No, it’s alright. This happens sometimes when you get knocked in the noggin.”

“It,” he panted, “it does?”

“Sure does. And you got hit real good.”

“Right.” Radar sat with his eyes closed for another moment before wiping his mouth on his sleeve. He cradled his other arm close to his chest, wincing as he adjusted it. Then he jerked his head up, eye wide as he hopped down form the oil drum. “Oh!”

“Woah there!” Henry stepped back, watching as the boy swayed. “Careful.”

“‘M okay, sir. I won’t be a bother no more.”

“You’re not. But you shouldn’t move so fast when you’re unsteady.”

“‘M fine.”

Henry held up 2 fingers. “Radar, how many fingers am I holding up?”

“Four, sir,” he said, eyelids fluttering. “But… you have a really big pinky finger…”

Henry lunged forward just in time to catch Radar as swayed too far and pitched to the left. He collected the boy in his arms, sitting him between his legs on the ground. Radar yelped when it jostled his arm. “Sorry, Radar!”

He could only hiss in response, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“Okay, kid, it’s alright.” Henry looked down when Radar shook his head against his chest. “It is, really. You’ll be okay.”

“‘S not that…” Radar forced his eyes open. “Father Mulcahy… He’s still under there…”

“What?” Hawkeye nearly shouted, still standing nearby. “Why didn’t you tell us this before, Radar?”

“‘M sorry. I forgot.” His voice trembled as he spoke. “I didn’t mean to forget.”

“Take it easy on him, will you, Pierce?” Henry snapped at Hawkeye’s back as he started digging again. “He’s probably got a concussion.”

“Well, where was he?”

“On my left,” Radar sniffed. “He was telling me about his sister.”

“Okay, alright, Radar,” Henry soothed. “It’s alright. Hawkeye’s not mad at you, he’s just worried about Mulcahy. That’s all.”

“I didn’t mean to forget ‘im under there. Honest…”

“I know you didn’t.”

“Ho-Honest… I didn’t mean to—”

“Radar, it’s alright.”

A sob bubbled up as Radar repeated himself again. “I didn’t mean to.”

Hawkeye glanced back at the pair over his shoulder with a frown. Henry gave him a pointed look.

“Here he is!” Klinger shouted, shoving another piece of metal out of the way.

Hawkeye took one of his arms, beginning to haul him up. “You alright, Father?”

“Come on, Father,” Klinger said, taking the man’s other arm. Together, he and Hawkeye pulled Mulcahy to his feet as he began speaking.

“Sis and I picked up these apples from under the tree…”

The two exchanged a puzzled look. Klinger steadied Mulcahy while Hawkeye kept one hand on his arm, using his other hand to check his eyes. He studied them both, watching to see how his pupils reacted to the light, which would have been easier if the man was looking at him. Instead, his unfocused gaze flitted all over the place.

“I remember I said, ‘You can’t make a pie out of crab apples…’”

Hawkeye felt his ribs for damage.

“…and she said, ‘I learned how in the Girl Scouts.’”

Hawkeye checked both of his arms before turning back to Klinger, who stared at him with a wrinkled brow and a more than confused stare. “He’ll be alright. He’s just a little dazed.”

“She used brown sugar,” Mulcahy continued, his blue eyes the only part of his body not caked with dirt and dust, “and the crust was just so crispy and nice.”

Hawkeye’s features couldn’t seem to decide between concerned and amused as he watched the Chaplain speak.

“Well, it was so good, we ate it all before dinner!”

Hawkeye turned to Klinger. “Get him back to his tent. Let him rest.” Klinger only nodded in response, pulling Mulcahy gently away as he continued to ramble deliriously.

“Mommy came into the kitchen and said, ‘What the hell’s going on in here?’” He turned then, taking in Klinger’s red dress. “I remember, Mommy. You know…” He looked Klinger up and down again. “That was the first time I ever heard you swear.”

Klinger squinted at him before giving a wide-eyed look to the ground. He wrapped his other arm around Mulcahy’s back and led him silently, or so he hoped, to post-op.

Hawkeye, on the other hand, headed straight back to Radar. He crouched in front of him, watching as Henry ran a hand over the boy’s hair in an attempt to comfort him. Hawkeye reached out and laid a hand on his uninjured arm, just under his corporal’s stripes. “Hey.”

Radar shook his head, causing him to whimper. He kept his eyes closed. “‘M really sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“Is he okay?”

“He will be.”

Radar squinted at him. “He’s hurt?”

“It’s nothing major.” Hawkeye frowned, reaching out to wipe a tear from Radar’s cheek. “Hey now… What’s with the tears, hmm?”

“I’m—sorry—”

“Radar,” Henry sighed, tightening his arms around him. “It’s okay. Everyone’s going to be fine. What’s that?”

Radar tried again, though it was still difficult to hear through his sobs into Henry’s chest. “My fault.”

“Oh no it ain’t. You didn’t drop that bomb on the two o’ ya.”

“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of me!”

“Well, Hell, Radar,” Hawkeye tried to reason,” you’re hurt, too.”

“But… But…”

“No, not buts. No one here wants any butts, right, Henry?”

“Huh? Oh, right. No butts.”

“Exactly. See? No one is mad at you, Radar. I’m sorry that I snapped at you before.”

“S’okay.”

Hawkeye rose from his crouch and stepped back, chest aching from the way Radar’s kept hitching with suppressed sobs. He pursed his lips. “We should get him back to his quarters. let him rest.”

“Yeah, that’ll be for the best. Help me out, will ya, Pierce?”

With a nod, Hawkeye bent down to help Henry up. “Here, let me help carry him.”

“No, no, I got him.”

“But Henry, your ba—”

“I said I got him.”

Hawkeye opened his mouth to argue, but shut it just as quickly when he saw the look in his eyes. This wasn’t a request. It was an order.

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thebreakfastgenie · 1 year ago

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Billy Joel songs as mash characters?

Darling this is not a simple question. This is a subject I have been pondering for some time.

Hawkeye - I Go to Extremes

Sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I'm shot Sometimes I don't know how much more I got Maybe I'm headed over the hill Maybe I set myself up for the kill Tell me, how much do you think you can take Until the heart in you is starting to break? Sometimes it feels like it will

This is hard because, a lot of songs fit him. I have, previously, associated Hawkeye with Tomorrow Is Today, Pressure, and Everybody Loves You Now. I also think there's something there for Code of Silence (which could also fit other characters, I considered it for Charles; it's kind of an all-purpose trauma song). I wanted to do something different, which is why I picked this one. I don't see it as being about mood swings, despite the chorus, but the verses really sound like Hawkeye to me. It's that feeling of constantly fighting something and being at a breaking point.

Tomorrow is Today Pressure Everybody Loves You Now

Trapper - Only the Good Die Young

You mighta heard I run with a dangerous crowd We ain't too pretty, we ain't too proud We might be laughing a bit too loud Aw, but that never hurt no one

Look, I know it's basic, but it fits. The melody and beat fit him too! He's might seem a little rough but he has a heart of gold and wants to have a good time! And he's a threat to good Catholic girls everywhere.

Henry - Big Man on Mulberry Street

Why can't I cool out? Why don't I button my lip? Why do I lash out? Why is it I always shoot from the hip?

It's just a vibe! I think the melody and lyrics both fit his kind of anxious everyman thing.

Radar - Get It Right the First Time

I'm not much good at conversation I was never to smooth at comin' on real strong If all it takes is inspiration Then I might have just what it takes If I don't make no bad mistakes and I get it right the first time That's the main thing

The lyrics fit Radar's interest in romance, but the melody as well as parts of the chorus also remind me of how seriously he takes his job as clerk and how busy he always is. Sexually the first time did not last for Radar, but you know.

Margaret - She's Always a Woman

Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants She's ahead of her time Oh, and she never gives out and she never gives in She just changes her mind

Look, I know. But it's perfect. It's about a woman in a male-dominated field who was widely hated for being too assertive and generally for misogynistic reasons. She's all these things, but she's still a woman. Plus the vaguely negative vibe to it fits Margaret too.

Frank - Why Judy Why

I never thought that I would need, need a friend But I did, in the end Tell me why, Judy, why

I really puzzled over this one, but I couldn't think of any Frank songs that summed up his whole character, so I chose one that I thought fit a specific part of his story. I don't think Frank ever anticipated Margaret would actually leave him, and when it happens, he's crushed. He does need a friend and he doesn't have any. "Judy" could be Hawkeye and Trapper or BJ, or it could be his mom, depending on the episode. I chose to focus on pathetic Frank, but while he's with Margaret, Blonde Over Blue fits as well. There's also a demo called The End of the World that I like to associate with Frank's fears of Louise becoming her own person.

Klinger - You May Be Right

You may be right I may be crazy Oh, but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for It's too late to fight It's too late to change me

Choosing a song for him was so hard! I think the general vibe of this one fits with the melody and all. Obviously "I may be crazy" is very Klinger but I also think "don't try to change me" conveys his absolutely refusal to be turned into a killer. I also like She's Right On Time as a Klinger/Soon-Lee song.

Mulcahy - All About Soul

This life isn't fair It's gonna get dark, it's gonna get cold You've got to get tough, but that ain't enough It's all about soul

It's a romantic song, but you don't have to take it that way, and I think it describes Mulcahy's role in the group well. They need more than toughness and more than medical skill. They need a heart, someone who can look after their souls.

BJ - Temptation

'Cause I know what all of my friends say There's a danger in wanting too much But she's such a temptation

It's about his baby daughter. It's about overwhelming love, but it conveys a bit of a dark side, too. Being in Korea is even more painful because he loves his daughter so much, so I think that desperation and fear of how strong those feelings are suit BJ well.

Potter - Shades of Grey

Once there were trenches and walls And one point of every view Fight 'til the other man falls Kill him before he kills you These days the edges are blurred I'm old and tired of war I hear the other man's words I'm not that sure anymore

It just so perfectly encapsulates Potter's changing feelings about war as a career soldier who once believed in the romance of it. Billy Joel also has a demo called The Siegfried Line that fits Potter very well because it's about WWII.

Charles - Where's the Orchestra

After all, this is my big night on the town My introduction to the theatre crowd I assumed that the show would have a song So I was wrong

I assigned this to him once a while ago and I'm glad I remembered because it's perfect for him. The melancholy melody... the feeling of getting/having everything you want but something not being right... being out of place in the place you're supposed to fit... and the lyrics are perfect for him because of his love of music and experience with the musicians.

As a bonus, I've previously associated This Is the Time and Famous Last Words with the entire cast!

This Is the Time Famous Last Words

Goodnight Saigon reminds me of MASH a lot too, with the choppers and some of the lyrics, but it's very anchored to Vietnam. And of course I'd be remiss if I didn't mention his two songs that actually reference the Korean War directly, We Didn't Start the Fire and Leningrad.

#mashposting

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remyfire · 1 year ago

Note

caught masturbating, any ship 👀

Kink Writing Prompts (no edits, we write smutty one-shots like MEN 🫡) (Hawk/Trap btw, and thank you!!)

There's a chill in the air tonight, not quite driving everybody to absolute misery, but just biting enough that a couple of hours ago, Hawk helped John roll down the flaps on the tent with fingers that ached without their gloves.

Honestly, though? It's kind of nice. Like being tucked in a blanket fort back home under the dining room table. If John closes his eyes, he can almost feel Cathy and Becky there, curled up with a bowl of popcorn, whispering and giggling and—

The pang comes. The agony. John huffs as he rubs the bridge of his nose and kicks out a leg over the edge of his cot. It's not his first fucking war, but it's the one that's eating at him the most. Keeps thinking he's gonna get used to it, and then here comes another punch in the gut in one way or another—a shitty string of patients in OR, a hungry orphan, a whiff of perfume from one of the nurses that smells just like Louise.

There's a couple of ways he can go about shutting his head off tonight. One, he waits for Hawk to get done with his post-op shift and they go hunting nurses. Two, he just leans over and grabs some gin and gets the party started early. Three, he goes sauntering around camp until he finds a taste of heat that chases all the longing away by himself.

He could say that he knows why he's waiting for Hawk, ooooooor he can just casually pretend he doesn't.

It's kind of like making tea instead of settling for the bullshit they call coffee in the mess tent. Setting the scene. Getting his mug ready, whatever bag he wants from the most recent box Louise sent his way in her care package. Sprawling out lazily while he listens to the water begin to stir. The tickling of the bubbles, the rising heat, the anticipation. Knowing that even when the kettle begins to whistle, the tea's still gonna have to steep good and slow, color blooming in the water in dizzying swirls, long before he'll ever take that first hot, bitter sip onto his tongue.

John's not a fancy guy, but his lips twitch all the same at his mind's wanderings right now. Listen to him. He keeps this up, somebody's gonna start thinking he's like those classy Boston types—the ones who look at guys like him and sneer 'cause they think they know everything that John McIntyre is with a single glance.

These few months have been the scene-setting, he thinks. The kettle's been heating. Inside, it's starting to sweat. Every time he and Hawk lock eyes in OR, each moment their shoulders brush when they're tight in a Jeep, the temperature's been rising. This silent sense of waiting to see which one of them is gonna flinch forward first.

Honestly, he's not sure what Hawk's been waiting on—he's as bent as some fucking Hohmann retractors. Hell, John would've gone for it ages ago if he didn't enjoy the tension as much as the release.

Speaking of tension...

Why not?

In the name of chasing off the ache with an appetizer before the main course, he tugs his glove off with his teeth and lets it drop on his chest, then spits in his palm. Maybe later on, he and Hawk'll split a nurse, and John'll take his time good and slow just so he can tease Hawk for letting go too fast, watch him flush as he grins and tries to find his words to shit talk him right back. Now? He's just gonna take the edge off.

Without a hint of shame, he shoves his pants and boxers down around his thighs. The flaps are down. Hawk's in post. Frank's off with Margaret, no matter what his shitty little excuse was. Anybody walks in here without a knock, it's their own fault what they see.

He's got a million fantasies to choose from, but the problem with thinking about Hawkeye is he's bound to swim straight to the surface. He's a little piece of work, isn't he? Pretty eyes and a soft mouth and long fingers, shoulders that are begging to be pinned down, tiny fucking legs that ought to be held against his chest while he's getting pounded. He's got these incredible noises he makes too, so many that almost sound like perplexed questions, like he needs permission to feel the pleasure that makes them bubble out of him in the first place.

As John works at himself, he chews on his bottom lip and lets out a ragged breath. Fuck, it really doesn't take much with somebody like Hawk. All he has to do is think about him pressing his hands into the wall, peeking over his shoulder, lashes low and coquettish as he arches his back. Or, God, no, maybe Hawk grabbing him by the shirt and throwing him down in the dentist chair, pinning him there with a hand on his belly while he yanks John's pants down and sucks him straight down to the hilt with a groan. Shit, the thought of being mouth to mouth with him in the pitch black darkness of supply, the heat of their breath tickling each other's lips as they jerk each other off hard and fast until Hawkeye starts to whine and John has to muffle him with a palm tight around his jaw—

The door creaks. A rush of wind. And John turns his head to see a wide pair of blue eyes, almost hidden under windswept black bangs.

The kettle, it seems, has come to a boil.

John bites back the urge to moan, but he can't stop himself from fucking up into his fist. "You wanna give the whole compound a show?" he growls.

Hawkeye darts in and all but slams the door behind him. "Jesus, Trap," he murmurs, thick as molasses.

"Ain't you supposed to be in post-op?" Maybe he should stop. Check in. Anything. But as he twitches in his grasp, another bead of precum slicking his grip, he also reminds himself that Hawk could've just walked right back out that door.

"Yeah, Henry needed..." Hawkeye won't stop staring at his cock. He takes a step forward, then shies back again, turning his head slightly even though his eyes stay right where they are, goading John to all but strip his cock from how fast he's jerking it. "H-He, uh, I'd forgotten to grab..."

Of course this would be how it happens, something this fucking random, Hawk looking like he's died and gone to heaven while John goads him on. He can't help but smirk. "Cat got your tongue, honey?" he teases breathlessly. "Shame. Could'a used that someplace else."

There it is, that punched-out groan, curved up just so right at the end. Hawk grabs the front of his own shirt, twisting it into a fist. He takes another step forward, then sits on the edge of his cot. "I-I've really gotta..."

John can see it, the wave of hunger all but overwhelming his bunkie, his sense of goddamn duty the frail dam that's holding it at bay. "You better get back," he breathes.

Hawkeye meets his gaze, sharp as a dagger. There's one, two, three seconds of searing contact before he licks his lips. "Do it. C'mon, Trap, let me see it."

"Fuck..." John tips his head back with a groan, letting the fire overtake him. "Yeah, you want it, Hawk?"

"Right fucking now, Trap, I don't have time for this."

Little fucking brat. John's so far gone for him. He bucks off the bunk with a sharp moan, doesn't give a shit about how he paints his shirt in his release. He rides it out, stroking himself until it hurts, until he's shivering in the thin sheet with a satisfied grin.

When he rolls his head to the side and opens his eyes, Hawk looks almost pissed, he's so focused on him. John's smile widens. "I'll see you after your shift, huh?"

Hawkeye takes a deep breath. He shoves something in his pocket, then gets to his feet, comes across the room, and reaches for him. John half thinks he's gonna pull him up for a kiss, but no. Hawkeye grabs his wrist and sucks his slick fingers into his mouth. John sits up with a punch of oversensitized agony in his gut, groaning as he watches Hawk clean the cum off his digits.

Hawkeye gives him one last look before he darts back out of the tent, leaving John boneless, pleased, and counting the seconds.

#i had so much FUN with this i've wanted to write them for AGES #piercintyre #traphawk #hawktrap #my writing #ask meme answers #smutty oneshots

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wellntruly · 1 year ago

Text

M*A*S*H Season 2….it’s top tier for me.

I couldn’t leave well enough alone, strayed off my list, and now come back to you with a new & improved Season 2 Viewguide: Deluxe Edition. I took away two, added four. One was a swap with the bonus eps—it’s going main! Then I added mmm another two more to the bonus list. LISTEN...

Probably it will all start to make sense if you see how long my notes are.

M*A*S*H Season 2 Notes At Last This Time We Took Them!

2x01 ‘Divided We Stand’

“Together, Pierce and McIntyre make a remarkable pair--” and it’s a reveal on them fully losing at strip poker

Radar just steering Klinger away muttering “You’ll get your dress dirty,” my moonbirds <3

A bit that never fails on me is someone being like oh none for me thanks, and then the remark that both glasses are for the other person. I think the earliest I’ve seen this is a Nick & Nora Charles movie in the ‘30s, maybe After The Thin Man? And it definitely happens on M*A*S*H multiple times, here and then I’m sure Margaret does it to Hawkeye in the Officer’s Club in a later season. EVERY TIME, I’m chuckling.

I have been in a state that I believe Hawkeye is in in this moment, where you’ve just been very tired for a long time and something in your emotional cortex is kinda dulled so you’re just sitting there watching someone, not warning them that something startling is about to happen to them, and then it does, and you laugh like the numbed gremlin you’ve become. For me it was tech rehearsal, for them it’s you know, a field hospital in a war. Anyway this is all why 1000% do I believe that this has happened to Hawkeye before, trying to wake Trapper and Trapper practically bruising his arm as he jolts awake with a shout.

I’ve decided to explain the fact that Alda bundles into a cap and scarf at the slightest provocation and Rogers does not with the Watsonian supposition that Trapper runs warm. Test it out, feels true right, feels good.

“I mean as screwy as this outfit is, better the devil you know, right?” and then this little wiggle shrug thing?? McLean???! I’m weeping, why is this whole showers scene hilarious. They keep catching the tail end of Wayne Rogers laughing when they cut to a different shot—that'd be me.

This half stammered exclamation “What the h-ell!?” as Radar runs up on him in the dark, god why is McLean Stevenson SO funny in this episode

“look normal”

They’re all WET in Henry's office right now, the shoulders of their jackets. Had it rained outside? Was there a cut outdoor scene?

“Frank showed up here cracked, with a Bible in one hand and a pair of shorts that said ‘Hold me’ in the other.” Wow orig booty shorts joke courtesy of B.F. Pierce

ACTUALLY. Another notch in the Timeloop Theory is Hawkeye constantly claiming Radar is his son with some member of the outfit (typically Trapper, here Margaret), and people like Henry hurriedly clarifying “He is not!”—yeah, Henry, how long do you think you’ve all been here

2x02 ‘5 O’Clock Charlie’

Have we addressed that Hawkeye’s name for Trapper when they’re being Brit-ish is ‘Reggie’? He says it twice.

Alda uses the same drawl of eagerness for “Oh do, Frank [give us a direct order]” that he does when Margaret threatens to kick him and he goes “Would you? With high heels?” Just for everyone's notes.

Hawk & Trap just sure know how to have fun, y’know! We all should have these kinds of relationships!

I like when Trapper goes all smart and take-charge. Very sexy of him.

TRULY this infantry drag routine added a year to my life when I first encountered it. Alan Alda is just so good at this. His extremely pantomime/vaudeville faces to Radar as they fail at all the commands, how very camp it all is, Trapper in MacArthur cosplay with his belt buckled over his untucked shirt and yet still hot, Frank…. an Iconic Scene.

Whomst is this random other guy just noodling on a guitar while Trapper and Hawkeye drink and muse on their problems

Ohhh okay he’s the current dentist. Hey, remember when there were dentists? That totally stops at the transition, huh!

I had definitely missed that they’ve got olives in their shower martini IV bottle. Also: what doesn’t this episode have.

Lololol Odessa Cleveland just hitting this “I’m ready to do the 4:30 feeding.” She really should have stayed around Kellye-style.

That every time Frank goes to pull out his gun it’s some new classic comedy prop they’ve swapped in is wonderful

Hawkeye & Trapper bundling Frank off to get a meal with them, “Why can’t I stay mad at you two lugs?” “We’ll work something out.” God…? <3

2x04 ‘For the Good of the Outfit’

Hmm maybe this episode fucks totally? I looooove them going off to take down the US Army, it's a crash to earth in the best way after 'Charlie'

“These fragments are as American as apple pie and Napalm.” Yell! Hell yeah, Trap.

“Radar, if you want me, I won’t be anywhere.” Lol Henry

Filing reports against the Army together, jumping off Lovers Leap together…

Radar translating to their nicknames to Henry under his breath WHAT is happening, I’m hootling

Love Hawkeye with his feet up on a desk, tired eyes and a phone to his ear, Trapper leaning with his collar up behind him, trying to make the American military take responsibility, for once

Writing to his dad in post-op while diegetic jazz plays! Atmosphere~

Whoa I do not remember a lot of this! Stopping Hawkeye’s mail out! Marking his movement “restricted”! This is getting really serious and scary!

Now he’s got his feet up yet his ankles crossed. Incredible advances in gay sitting.

Henry coming off entirely spineless this episode, c’monnn Blake

WOW General Clayton a) threatened to follow them forever, b) or threatened instead to just send them to an aid station to die on the line (implied)!!!!!!!!

“Go, Frank, go.” Trap I love you I love this. The 11th hour inadvertent save by Mssrs. Burns & Houlihan! Good ep good ep

“Take her, he’s mine :)” Hawkeye MY GOD.

2x05 ‘Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde’

What I like about my new S2 lineup is this run from

“They’re mad, quite mad all of them!” to

hahah ohh yeah no they are all mad, bless ‘em

to suddenly oh JESUS, but also spilling backwards to the two you’ve just watched because like, what else do you DO, you just pull out lawn chairs and a Trans-Atlantic accent and bet about whether Charlie will hit the ammunition dump, or you try to get the whole Army arraigned, it's basically toss a coin each day, heads I win tails you lose

then from there on to the secret third option we haven’t done yet: Maybe Hawkeye Goes Mad For Real

So here we gooooo! (This one is one of my favorite-favorites)

Trapper steering Hawkeye out of surgery is something that can be so—

Running tally: “20 hours of surgery,” “some day and before that it was some night”

Obsessed with all the mud business. The jeep coming by and spraying their legs, the guy tripping and falling in it as he runs. None of this is relevant to the plot or even commented on, it’s just texture.

“Morpheus, don’t just stand there, I’m yours.”

Trapper Watching Hawkeye In This Episode !

Hits on Henry, and that’s a sign. To Henry. I think. I think about a lot of things. Some of it is Henry picking up Hawkeye behaviors that worry him, for what else they are usually masking.

Running tally: Frank has been asleep three times while Hawkeye has gone on operating. Now that one I don’t know quite how to tabulate.

There is something oddly endearing about Hawkeye still trying to hit on the nurses when he’s nearly too tired to even lift his arms from where Radar is pushing him by in a wheelchair. I think it’s that there is so obviously no real intent behind it, no actual design to follow through with these offers. Just saying words recreationally, as the post goes.

Radar: “Now let me get you to bed here, make sure you’re comfortable.” Hawkeye: “That’s what they all say.” Hawk….you are so worrisome this episode though really!

Running tally: It’s now morning, so it’s been another night since our opening scene. He has definitely been awake for two nights, two days, 48 hours minimum.

Okay and now it’s night, so another 12 hours: 60

“You are turning into a 170 pound fruitcake.” Trapper…couple questions

Could Radar really not know the word Holocaust OR a popular Bing Crosby carol? This always distracts me for a moment.

Hawkeye haltingly singing ‘I’ll Be Home For Christmas’ into the quiet while crying, the dark night of the camp stretched around them, is something that can fuck me up <3

‘I’ll Be Home For Christmas’ was released in 1943, previous episode it was stated to be 1951, so 8 years ago. Hawkeye is presumably supposed to be in his early 30s (slightly younger than Alda himself), so we’re talking like early-/mid-20s he was lying on a rug listening to this song. And now he’s out of the med school that kept him from being drafted into WWII, and swept into another war after all.

“Dear Harry. Who’s responsible?” It's like my heart holds.

Running tally: It’s the next day. 72 hours.

HIS. HAUNTED. EYES. LOOKING UP AT THE SOUND OF CHOPPERS.

Coming back to some of M*A*S*H again no longer on a good amount of hydromorphone (hi) is, far from a more sober experience, actually at times creating a sensation not unlike my mind is shattering like a bag of frozen peas smacked against the counter

GOD Alda! Eyes!

“I like that,” he says with a little smile, draping a couple pieces of toilet paper on the latrine. “It sells.” My fucking heart.

Physical acting award to GARY BURGHOFF, panicking in place next to Trapper for a solid few seconds before running off after them

Trapper and Henry playing solitaire together while watching over Hawkeye sleeping fitfully under presumably their fave phenobarbital kills me so softly. Whole vibe something so warm and domestic and bleak and fucked up, and the lines all So much. “McIntyre, what makes him do these things?”

2x09 ‘Dear Dad…Three’

Hawkeye just watching Trapper & Frank play gin, grinning. The way sometimes they’re roommates like this..

“Go ahead, Cuddles, take a card.” CUDDLES, TRAPPER?

Hawkeye reciting ‘Gunga Din’ ostensibly to praise Ginger’s nursing prowess is so 1973

Not to be such a laugh track supporter, again, but this is another episode I actually think plays better WITH it, as the contrast from the goofy cards scene with the communal laughs to the strained quiet as they try to remove this grenade from a soldier’s body is just so compelling to me.

Leaving in Alan Alda casually fighting through a yawn is so so so so so good. This show is so lived in, makes it feel oddly real for all its artificial 25-minute sitcom trappings.

Henry’s video from home scene reeeaally got to me, on the hydromorphone. The way they just gradually get more rapt and quiet even as nothing is really happening in the video, it’s just normal, and that’s what’s getting to them.

Man the Indiana suburbs are wild

“I could see that all over again.” This is kinda why I love Trapper, honestly. Part of it.

Ginger acting like he’s passing is just THE FUNNIEST PART OF THIS, I laugh every time. “Good job, baby!” GINGER!

The staff meeting is simply perfect. A perfect scene of television comedy. No notes, just want to show it to everyone I know.

I mean it’s just so funny when the racist soldier literally says "You've given me a lot to think about," and still just real nice when he salutes Ginger, whatever! Sure it’s cheesy! We all know! But it’s 1970/1950! They were trying to do something!

2x10 ‘The Sniper’

Oho had forgot this is the one where Trapper has a mild head cold, in his goldenrod robe

“Is your cold better?” “Does a cold ever get bettah?” Trap, Icon

Alda looks notably skinny here. It’s his so shaped body… Like a plank, breadth seems normal but then you turn him sideways and it’s like oh, that is a thin flat man.

Trapper’s mocking laugh back to Frank while shoving his gun away—SO BOYFRIEND THIS EPISODE

Trapper just hollered to Hawkeye to take notes on his date. God. It really is that kind of queered heterosexuality where all their nurse pursuits are ultimately just about bonding with each other. The heterosexual in service to the homosocial.

“Eight cans, eight shots. That should be about right.” Larry Linville, I’m laughing my butt off.

I miss the Japanese ‘Happy Days Are Here Again’ cover every day of my life

Henry: “Well hell's bells, we’re a hospital! That’s against the Geneva Convention!” Radar: “I’m not for it either, sir.”

Full male rear nudity on American broadcast television, M*A*S*H truly did it all

Trapper’s already on the phone with someone when Hawkeye crawls into the office, GOD the competence. So boyfriend this episode, reprise.

Oh haven’t mentioned yet how very very cute it is that Henry’s office is papered with his daughter’s drawings she sends him. I like to imagine that it’s actually a bit of a gallery, that other members of the unit tack up some of their kid’s drawings too.

“Radar—” “Get a white flag, yes sir. [little head shake]” Gary is incredible this episode

“You could roll over first” is definitely the assault joke too far. I actually can kinda forgive the first "violations" one weirdly because of the follow-up on it later, but this one is like, Hawk come ON.

Frank just happily head-empty drawing circles on Margaret’s kneeeee :)

Oh my god Radar’s bit where he says his metabolism makes his body turn to liquid…I'm dyin'

The rhythm of this episode, this transition now to creeping outside in the dark to find Frank and THIS MUSIC. This show should have had more score honestly, I always enjoy what it brings so much.

And then bringing Frank with him to go investigate the mess tent! Yes! This script is perfectly structured, truly.

GARY SO FUNNY THIS EP OH MY GOD

God yeah and the ending, going up to treat the man who was shooting at them…too good, gotta include it.

2x12 ‘The Incubator’

They are so so wretched and hungover and soft, moving and speaking with each other so gently and pained, god I love these messes

Something so endearingly funny to me about Radar casually explaining “I was too sleepy” for why they didn’t use him as their virgin sacrifice last night. Like, everyone’s got a role to play in society! Sometimes you’re the camp’s temple virgin! ….Oh wow actually Radar is a vestal virgin. Being a vestal virgin is all about having arcane knowledge, so many mysterious little jobs, and an attitude. Radar, lean into this.

They actually WANT Frank to chastise them for their night, god, their relationship sometimes!!! And then they’re genuinely like aw, geee, recognizing he’s right they aren’t the bright eyed bushy tailed young doctors he met. “We’re gonna get our tails bushed again, you’ll see!”

Hawkeye is still using 'bushy tail' as a shorthand a scene later

This episode? Good. Good choice, past me. I like how it starts with the aftermath of goofy debauchery, then starts showing itself to be a mission episode, with the two off them getting more driven as they get more sober, while still holding ice packs to their foreheads to illicit our chuckles at their hungover patheticness.

“Henry the war’s been running for two years, surely the government must be showing a profit by now.” Haha damn.

Hawkeeeeyyye, he’s now taken to calling their new era simply “B.T.”, and Trapper just nods knowing what he means while Henry’s like what the hell?

Henry’s advice is to show up looking handsome. I love Henry's approach to things.

And now it becomes a Great River of Commerce story. It’s a good script!!!

Riveted by how Hawkeye’s glinting sarcasm is scanning as genuine delight in avarice to this guy, while Trapper’s straightforwardness gets him labeled as the one with “a nasty streak of morality.” Hawkeye, glancing a quick amused look at him: haha babe he thinks I’m Evil. Trapper: sighhh. u are.

The other thing that crushes in this episode is that after rocking up in full Class A uniforms at the start of their odyssey, they start gradually shedding pieces, giving them new looks for each successive stage of their quest. A reverse of the wives in Mad Max: Fury Road.

Pierce & McIntyre operating as a duo can power me for a day. They just seamlessly play to each other’s strengths. Let Hawkeye get up and get mouthy but clever, draw attention, land a few points that aren’t gonna fade so quickly, and then when they turn to Trapper, thinking he’s gonna be someone reasonable they can fall back on, he just literally stands up to join him at his shoulder like, floor back to him I think. This general, it dawning on him: “Are you two together?” Hawkeye, literally, with a loose little smile: “In all kinds of weather.”

God and now they’re just a double act, picking up each other’s sentences, laying out a wall of fact on data point on incriminating detail.

They are just so sexy this episode

‘The Incubator’: kind of a perfect little episode to be honest! A secret fave, of the kind I have. I have my actual, more flashy faves, and then I have my other ones where it’s like, you know which episode I really love?

2x13 ‘Deal Me Out’

Hawk & Trap hollering at Radar as he takes their towels, little nose in the air: “I’m kidding!” “He was kidding!” “You’re beautiful!” #VestalVirginBehavior

I wish Captain Sam Pak had been in 15 more episodes. The M*A*S*H judge-of-character equivalent of whether or not a dog likes you is whether or not someone moves right past Klinger wearing dresses to getting engaged with his style choices, and Sam does immediately.

It’s entertaining to me that Hawkeye loves poker while consistently having mediocre to poor luck. He’s always just casually fucking up and folding. He's not good at this! And doesn't seem to care! He's just in it for the card game gossip.

“Hi, Frank. What’s new up on the Mount?” SID-NEY.

Aw forgot this is the one with baby John Ritter, winging an enameled cup at Frank’s head

KLINGER’S SUNGLASSES. At night.

What I love about this episode is that for a story that is predominately about sitting around a table, it has SUCH movement, literally and figuratively. Everything is continuously escalating over in the hospital, AND at the game in the Swamp, as various characters are getting up from and returning to the game. Another contributor is that they just keep adding new people into the mix: we get Sidney and Sam right up front, then the old Korean man, John Ritter, FLAGG... Just a real sense that this is a whole camp of numerous people all engaged in their little things, which I always love when a show can pull off.

Wild for whenever Henry is compelled to remember he’s the commanding officer and pulls rank on someone, particularly Flagg. Except hey, Flagg’s a colonel too… Well he’s wearing captain’s bars here though, they probably hadn’t decided that yet.

“Thanks for seeing me, Sidney :)” 15 EPISODES AND A MOVIE

Was staring and staring at Sam’s insignia trying to figure out what on earth was going on here, and finally realized: he’s Korean Army. Shaking my damn head.

2x11’Carry On, Hawkeye’

Phantom PA guy’s voice cracking with illness—he too is susceptible to disease

Is this breathing through my ears joke a thing, or just something very odd he is saying

Hawkeye instantly delegating Margaret to replace Frank working with Sheila, and having Father Mulcahy step in to assist him: you love to see management in action

“Father, as long as we’re working together, is it alright if I call you Dad?” Stopp

Radar bringing Hawkeye coffee in an orange mug that says “HANK” (?) while he sits on the phone at Henry’s desk whimsically yet urgently trying to explain to a general that yes he’s a capable young surgeon but he’s not looking for a husband, he’s looking for help. Sorry, once again I don’t have a comment, I just love it. The mug is so "workplace"!! Just inheriting random objects!!

Radar, happy that Hawkeye is semi-letting him make him take command: “Yes, sir!” Hawkeye, drawing up: “Don’t get fresh.”

Margaret all I’M IN CHARGE, and Hawkeye just like that would be terrific in so many ways, thank you

I actually think this episode is a great blueprint for what makes Hawkeye’s sexism such an odd grey area. His quips to the nurses are almost always around their sexual availability, but that doesn’t actually preclude him from also totally trusting them as fellow medical professionals, possibly more than any other doctor in this camp. He’s confident in them, praises their good work, and above all puts them in charge of things, that’s the part that really feels outré for the 1950s. And the Army, for that matter. And he does all this while also joking that he wishes he could put his arms around them. It’s all a muddle!

I DIE. Did CBS simply not know about pegging, is that how they got this scene through. I mean it's fucking perfect.

Henry, walking in still feverish: “Well, Mr. and Mrs. 4077th.” I still don’t even know how to unpack this, just that god, it needs to be. THEY’RE A NARRATIVE PAIR. The prom king & queen of the MASH unit. Mr. and Mrs. 4077th.

Trapper wants to help him so bad. Also wants him to kiss his forehead in the middle of post-op. Trapper honey you are so under the weather.

GODDD I love Hawkeye & Margaret, these two!!!! This is where it started babyyy. His little goofy forlorn face looking up at her as she sticks the thermometer in his mouth, her little warmed dancing quirk of a smile when he says he wants to get well to tease her all over again, this literal expression :)). Themmm!

Hawkeye: “Radar, you’ll be assisting Margaret Houlihan, nurse, friend, and all-around good egg.” Radar and Margaret: Margaret, gently: “He’s very sick.” [softly] help!

“Okay gang. Ours is not to question why…” Ohhh. “Ours is not to let ‘em die.” But he doesn’t finish it here. He’s too sick, he just trails off as he works, and we don’t get the end of it until the start of Season 4.

His little sweet squinted up grin, “That really hits me where I live, thanks!” Haha help!

Radar trying to take his pulse and realizing he doesn’t have a watch to count byyy

Listen if it wasn’t obvious I adore this one

2x24 ‘A Smattering of Intelligence’

This opening bit with Margaret is such peak Hawkeye. I can hardly explain. Quipping to a patient to get better before the movie that night, the horrible outfit, the flirting that is just all self-deprecating or offering her use of his hands.

Margaret: [rips Flagg’s sleeve off] “Oh.” Hawkeye: “You thought about going into burlesque, Colonel?”

Flagg is currently presenting as only a Lieutenant Colonel. FYI. Even rank with Henry.

“He’s a CPA.” I laughed way more than I should have at this.

I thought I was going to be able to handle Hawkeye in shorts, but now he’s sitting like a weirdo in the Swamp and I’m not, I’m not able to handle it.

“Captain Stone.” “That’s not my real name.” “Ohh boy.” Henry is already so tired.

Henry: “Why do we have to be in the middle? Can’t you let my people go?”

He’s lounging again. With his boots and his bare knees.

He also has an entire pocket of these Q-tips he’s been chewing on this episode. What’s up, baby.

A lot of screen-cap-worthy shots in this episode. You've probably already seen some of them. That's because people are making good choices.

Okay but spy Radar is so choice though. He's perfect.

“Fellas, it’s been both a privilege and a nightmare meeting you.” I gotta start saying this.

2x20 ‘As You Were’

What I like about the one where everyone’s going stir-crazy is the physicality with which they’re rendering this mental state. Hawkeye just crossed the mess tent to Frank predominantly on top of the benches, stretched out practically full length on his elbow next to him to ask what he’s doing, then clambered back to Trapper along the bench tops again. Just very good.

Ohhhhhh my god, I forgot this was the one where Trapper & Hawkeye put Frank in a box. Watching and waiting as Radar plays the morning ‘Reveille’, drinking coffee in their robes….

Klinger’s red outfit is fire lbr

They make Henry deliver just so many sex lectures

Gary’s perfect delivery of that VD line is what makes this whole scene worth it

The amount of Klinger outfits we get this episode! And they’re always complimenting him!

Margareeetttt like yes, yes of course Frank, they’re horrible, but also oh my god the thing you WANT them to do is operate on you

They’re soooo impossible <33 swooping into the operating room with their gloved sterile hands up, still doing this whole comedy routine <3 Frank is SUFFERING

“He’s an idiot, but he’s really stacked.” Trapper Why

I really do love this episode. It’s made in the transition to the second half being all surgery.

Henry: “Organize some donors, Father, get plenty of blood.” Trapper: “Yeah you’ve just been promoted to vampire.” Hawkeye: “Turn in your cross.”

Fourth Klinger outfit, and it’s fabulous. In case he gets dizzy giving blood he “brought a pair of low heels.” I love him.

Gary’s impression of “a major” on the phone is Quite good. Fun to be reminded that he’s a talented impressionist.

Oh okay, Radar canonically 19. Wait what was that Karl Urban Bones meme, like oh great Jim, he’s 19.

“Fred? Do you think the principal saw us?” Frank what

This episode has an incredible amount of gay quips. OH GOD is that what that was earlier about Fred??!

Aw wow, when the newborn baby cries and they all look up from the wounds they’re working on

Fifth Klinger outfit. Doozy of an ep.

2x22 ‘George’

Trapper singing most if not all of ‘I’ve Got You Under My Skin’ in surgery

Hawkeye, all worn out: “I hate sunrise. And those damn birds will start singing in a minute. Who are they to remind us of happiness?” Nurse: “We go back on again in an hour.” Hawkeye: “Amazing.” Nurse: “The sunrise?” Hawkeye: “The O.R. The amount of punishment the human body can take and still survive.” Trapper: “The doctors or the patients?” Hawkeye: “Which are we?” Wow okay Stoppard M*A*S*H (♥)

Someone’s gotta explain this “It only happens when I go tourist” line to me, as it’s ostensibly the reason why Private Weston knows he can come out to Hawkeye and what on EARTH does that mean!

JESUS CHRIST THE “I LIKE MINE THROUGH THE BOOT” JOKE WAS IN ‘GEORGE’??!!

Hawkeye: “What’s your rush, the war will still be there. Its options have been picked up for another year.” Lordy. M*A*S*H walked so Arrested Development could run honestly.

LOVE the way George comes out by the way. Little obvious logic puzzle, and Hawkeye perfectly playing along.

The entire pick-up football game tackling Father Mulcahy upstage makes me laugh so, so much

Oh god yeah—shots checkers

Wild that they are getting very very drunk playing shots checkers to try to talk about how this soldier has come out to Hawkeye and now what do they do

Wiiiild how many exhausted gay ass looks Hawley keeps giving to Trapper as Frank shares his ~information~

Love that Trapper is construing of homosexual behavior as just an expression of “individuality.” That so figures for him. God what a man.

Hawkeye: “How can you kick this little puppy of a person?” The puppy is Radar.

“Frank, why are you telling me this? Has the man made a pass at you? At me, at anyone?” I love Henry Blake. “Well you just never know, do you?” I am convinced sometimes he does. I am convinced Henry Blake knows far more about some of his officers in some regards than Potter ever did, and is just peaceably pretending he has no idea so that he’s got plausible deniability to keep not doing anything about it. Which is what makes it so annoying that Frank is talking to him about this right now.

It really is stunning that in the episode with the canon queer character & associated fall-out they are not remotely stopping doing things like Hawkeye stepping in for this nurse and stroking his hand until Henry asks if they can skip past the manicure

“a noncommittal goodbye leer”

Oho, Trapper canonically 6’3”. Damn Hawk your boyfriends are all so tall

Goddd bless Larry Linville for somehow making “Trap” sound like the most awkward terrible thing coming out of his mouth

“Trapper John McHypocrite” and asking him to look you in the eye could be a BIT much for the specifics of Weston’s situation, Hawkeye! Let’s reel around, let’s pivot!

The saucy no-hetero rewrite of this final button is too easy, and at least they gave us that.

2x21 ‘Crisis’

Father Mulcahy looks so cute in his jacket. He’s got his collar flipped up against the wind. Philadelphia <3

“Morning, Father. Take a pew.” Cute

Pierce, stop flirting with the priest

Very surprising that Alda is the least bundled up in this scene, how'd this happen

Trapper commenting that he’s gotta write this Frankism down and then actually doing it and sticking the note in his shirt pocket—my guy

Very foolish to put Hawkeye on maintenance & general services

Henry: “Now Radar will be the Housing Officer. Before this is over, we may have to double up or triple up to save heat. Radar will decide who sleeps with who.” Trapper: “Radar, I’d like to see you right after the meeting.” It’s such a funny line reading, and then he ends up cozy in adjoined cots with Hawkeye and it’s even better.

Oooo is this the debut of Klinger’s fur coat!

I love when the couples face off

Trapper, holding an unlit flashlight on Frank as he tries to move for the hot plate: “I’ve got you covered.”

Frank: “Ohh, you!” Together: “We are Not.” I’m gonna murder them

All them piling in shivering to the Swamp fills my heart with, incongruously, warmth. This is when the show really started to family them. The addition of Father Mulcahy and Corporal Klinger is key to this.

Klinger: “I’ve never slept in an officer’s tent before.” Hawkeye: “We’ll try to be kind.” Oh my god

Second appearance of Radar’s homemade surgical gauze & headphones earmuffs, BLESS

Love Klinger practicing skincare

“Power boss,” fun. Trapper really does take to being responsible for something so well. He likes a task.

I’ll never be over Trapper & Hawkeye essentially in a double bed under Frank sideways in a hammock. This was such wonderful blocking. “Frank, stop swinging.”

“Father, it’s cold out there—you want my stole?” “Oh, thank you my son!” Meanwhile, the boys are scrabbling around with Frank’s feet trying to steal his socks. Larry: “Noooo!” Obsessed with this episode

Haha it actually does kinda feel like a season finale the way it ends on the visual of Henry’s office now entirely empty. Thanks for validating my order choices, M*A*S*H!

*****

Viewguides (selected episodes for each season; M*A*S*H reduced like a gravy)

Misc. MASH (formless notes from my watches)

#M*A*S*H hours (all this & More)

#ha ha indulgent #Misc. MASH #M*A*S*H hours #M*A*S*H #Tarra takes notes

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