#what exactly i'm talking abt here. you can see it i suppose i dont think its That vague. (?) or read it as you like. idk im still building

[seaquestions]

[ID: A drawing of an open ribcage with a poem written in the middle, which reads:

"the vultures won’t eat well that night.

justice. there’s a warped sense of it when i wring myself - wry smile, withhold, control, rumble-bang on the door, listen! my leaden lining, with time, won’t accept nothing it was never my image, but my image hurts now - after punishment for crimes that hurt nothing, no-one, but i say, for nights i sway - i see myself fading away, see the world in trails, its entrails and my entrails, it's what pangs, what pales, what heaves, what fails, it's what carrot! what stick! i’m just making myself sick."

The drawing is white lines on a black background, and the text is yellow. End ID]

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au pt 9

post directory

obsetress: ready ok ot4 hc incoming

em: ot4! ot4! ot4

obsetress: after dani breaks up with her viola cuts all her hair off n it's the first impulsive thing she's ever allowed herself to do in her whole life (which should also tell you exactly how fucked up she was by it) n so then we have

obsetress: short curly hair viola

em: what is wrong with you

em: oh i love a dramatic haircut as a motif

obsetress: by the time she and rebecca start hooking up it's grown into a long bob and she keeps that for a while tbh because like

obsetress: viola has impulses all the time but she either: suppresses them, or thinks about them and then does them to the point where they can no longer be considered impulsive

obsetress: vs um

obsetress: dani has impulses all the time and used to suppress them but then fully leaned into

obsetress: charging headfirst into whatever the fuck (vp speech ref sheds a tear)

em: OTP: dont you wanna go apeshitt

obsetress: and thinking about how people change u and rub off on u for the better even after they leave

obsetress: viola: wants to go apeshitt

obsetress: viola: thinks about going apeshitt, thinks about all the ways it would benefit her, thinks about how she would enjoy it even if it did not in any way benefit her

obsetress: viola: yes ok don't you wanna go apeshitt

em: no but i am i am thinking abt like. dani and viola as both sort of? dragged into being housewives and homemakers because Women n viola didn’t really have the power to change her situation (even if she got isabel out of it!) and dani actually managed to call it off

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: grits teeth

obsetress: once again crying over very intentional very deliberate danvi parallels that no one else wants to talk about and i think even in this au right

obsetress: viola is socialized in such a specific space that this can very much still be true

obsetress: and i think like part of what draws her to dani is exactly that––that dani had the freedom to do that much sooner––but also she resents dani for exactly that too

obsetress: even when they're together, and that's the possession piece too

obsetress: i think a part of her thinks if she can't do it for herself she can have it for herself and that's close enough

obsetress: like she v much covets dani

em: ah the unique way that lesbians fuck each other up bc of living in a homophobic and misogynistic society

em:i mean who doesn’t covet danis ass

obsetress: literally and metaphorically

obsetress: and part of dani definitely knows that but part of dani (at least until she doesn't) likes it

obsetress: (also this is kinda what i was getting at w my insane lil pwp alfjadslf but i think it tracks here too)

obsetress: because she's like "well this is what it's supposed to be but it didn't work with eddie because i don't like men but now i'm with a woman and this is how it's supposed to be"

obsetress: "and i like being wanted it's nice to be wanted by someone i want for once"

obsetress: but yeah thinking a lot about the danvi dynamic once again

obsetress: viola short curly hair to viola long bob

obsetress: YEAH I JSUT

obsetress: WENT TO HER INSTA TO FIND

obsetress: AND THEN GOT

obsetress: SO DISTRACTD

[em note: edited out a 30 minute tangent going through pictures from kates instagram]

obsetress: so anyway the whole point of this. long bob viola

obsetress: rebecca loves long bob viola she rly loves um. sitting on her lap and running her fingers back through her hair

obsetress: when she and dani see each other again for the first time dani's all "oh. you cut your... hair" and vi's like "i did" and dani's like "it, um. looks... it looks... good?"

em: i think it’s nice when viola does something for herself :)

obsetress: it's nice :)

obsetress: i'm happy for her :)

obsetress: wish she didn't have to look so much hotter though :)

obsetress: don't make that face, babe, it's fine :)

obsetress: you know i love you :)

em: WAIT

em: dani had a fucking moment. she’s like

obsetress: oh dani likes her girls w curly hair huh

em: counting on her fingers. how many ppl has she dated w

em: YEAH

obsetress: YEAHDLKFJSLDFDFJSLDFj

em: CURLY BROWN HAIR

obsetress: OH MGOD EDDIE TOO

obsetress: NOT JUST GIRLS

obsetress: aw baby has a type

em: so actually it is DANI who ends up w the strongest routine

em: just short bob hair viola sitting next to jamie and dani has a fuckjng. out of body experience. perceives herself a little too hard

obsetress: she's just. staring

obsetress: mouth def hanging open

obsetress: then someone's like "dani? dani?" and she's blinking like five times in a row and sitting up straight

obsetress: but she does def have that moment at brunch

em: jamie doesn’t twig it

em: violas like. violas got a keen eye for anyone ‘copying’ her style. raises one devastating eyebrow

obsetress: dani and vi devastating eyebrow partners n crime

obsetress: later that night, in bed: jamie?

jamie: wot?

dani: do i have a type?

obsetress: jamie immediately wants to jump to no because how could she have anything in common w––

obsetress: oh. oh

em: jamie’s lil wispy premature greys set her apart

em: ‘jamie HATES it when she has things in common w viola’ is my favourite bit sjddkhd

obsetress: jamie "not sure how viola has no greys n she's how much older than me again" taylor

em: dani realises she actually has. no idea how old viola is

em: barely even knows a birthday

em: maybe viola even has like. a decoy birthday

em: queen of being mysterious for the drama of it all

obsetress: "she's just too stubborn to grey is all" "i'm stubborn!" "mm" "wossat supposed to mean" "you're..." "i'm what" "you like to... pretend? you're stubborn" "pretend i'm–– i am!" "jamie, i asked you to repark the car because i didn't want to get out of bed and it's street cleaning day and you immediately jumped up to do it even though you can barely parallel park"

em: WHIPPED

obsetress: jamie's quiet for a long time then, softly: "can parallel park just fine"

obsetress: "mm"

obsetress: whipped as hell

obsetress: this led me to everyone making dani or viola parallel park all the time when they go anywhere

obsetress: hc dani is a Very Good driver. idk why but it tickles me

em: i think um. dani is v independent and wants to be able to do things herself

em: and i think she probably got her license before eddie, but as soon as eddie got his....

obsetress: and dani's better than him n got a better score than him, and yet

em: and yet!

em: they swap out being deso driver if they’re gonna be drinking. or jsut call a taxi lmao

em: i’m so endeared by Extremely Good Driver Dani

em: dani does a reverse park without thinking

obsetress: viola loves her martinis n dani is drunk off of half a glass of sangria

obsetress: same!!!!!!!

obsetress: also just like. imagining

obsetress: dani checking all her mirrors

em: no

em: HANNAH

obsetress: and adjusting everything so fastidious

obsetress: OH GOD

obsetress: i didn't––

em: i jumped

em: phew it’s actually cute

obsetress: yeah! dw i'm not sick

em: well

obsetress: she just goes through her whole lil checklist and is so meticulous and precise

em: jamies like ‘we’re the same height’ and danis like ‘well.’

obsetress: oh god the four of them driving to the seaside for a vacation together (lots of content to mine here, will have to put a pin in most of it because i am getting sleepy) but they end up taking the truck much to vi’s chagrin just because it can hold the most

obsetress: (like viola doesn’t have a range rover but listen it needs to be dani n jamie’s car for this to work)

obsetress: and vi and rebecca are sitting in the back and then rebecca’s frowning and blinking and digging a headband out of the seat between them and viola immediately just. knows

obsetress: she’s like “dani?” “mm?” “you and jamie... have cleaned your car recently, right?” (jamie’s chiming in: “i’m right here, vi, you can address me too,” viola pointedly ignores her) “um... maybe a couple months ago? why?” “well,” and vi pokes her disdainfully with the headband, “can you at least tell me you’ve had it cleaned between whenever this got stuck between the seats and rebecca and me sitting here now?”

obsetress: dani just GRINS sheepishly

obsetress: “i could tell you that, but...” “but?” dani mumbles “it would be a lie”

obsetress: anyway dunno why vi’s that upset about having to sit in the backseat where dani n jamie hooked up, like, last week when it’s not like she and rebecca haven’t been inside the two of them respectively but it’s absolutely the kind of contrarian shit she’d choose to be pressed about and it makes me laugh so

[disaster-j]

Heres the anon that keeps talking abt the gifted hope ur not annoyed! I hate the fucking ministry I HATE IT, why are wave or chanon not there, can pangwave angst be resolved, i dont trust supot and holy fuck PANG in a hoodie? so cool! Chanon, wave and pang ALL wear hoodies- like father like son and son in law lmao. Also pang stole wave's hoodie like wave stole his green jacket bc it gives him comfort and u CANNOT prove me otherwise. Ik this is ALL over the place but i needed to let it out lmao

Annoyed? Bruh I was waiting for you! Please come talk to me about things all you want I love it :3

I HATE THE MINISTRY SO MUCH!!! Last week I was so confused as to why exactly the ministry hadn't treated the kids and now we know. If we assume that Supot's version of the events is what happened, which I'm inclined to do because it makes so much sense with all the other info we have so far, then they've answered my question from last week. The Ministry is choosing not to treat them, had never planned on it. Because they cannot allow an antidote to exist at all. They will rather sacrifice a bunch of innocent kids than let go of their one sure way to control the Gifted populace. Which is honestly so infuriating. Things are so much more complicated than they seemed at the beginning of the season.

I dont trust Supot either but I feel like at this moment Pang has no choice but to work with him if he wants to save the younger kids. Supot is the only one with the means to treat them that is actually willing to do so. But I'm afraid of the cost. I doubt Supot would hurt Pang, I think he sees too much of himself in Pang and that's why he's continued to let Pang pull all the stunts he does without worse repercussions. But there's no telling how he'll manipulate Pang from here on out or how this will affect Pang's place as a hero in the narrative. That whole line about becoming one of the villains by working with them long enough seems very much like foreshadowing to me. We know that's what Supot claims happened to him and it can be argued that Pom is now in the same position too, chances are Pang is about to be led down the same path as the two. Here's to hoping he doesn't succumb to the same fate as them. There's people speculating something Bad will happen to Wave to make him realise how he's messing up and while I'd rather nothing ad ever touch Wave again I feel like it's very likely. It's all about the parallels after all, Supot and Yuth, Pom and Chanon, now Pang and Wave. (Sidenote, anyone else think Yuth might actually be alive somewhere or..?)

Speaking of, I think the whole situation with Pom and Chanon also became a lot clearer now. I have been wondering since I watched season 1 what could have possibly convinced Pom that giving him up and erasing his memories was the right thing to do. Now I am inclined to believe that he did it in the sincerest hopes of protecting them both. I think Supot told him about how the Ministry used to operate and how they handle rogue Gifteds now and that is what led to Pom erasing their memories. Supot was willing to let them both walk free but the Ministry would definitely not have. I have to wonder if Chanon has had any contact with Pom or even if he's tried to figure out why he gave him up? Does Chanon know about what the Ministry does? He knew about the virus' existence but what about the rest?? There are so many unanswered questions and I am itching to figure them all out.

Moving on to happier topics, Hoodie Gang is adorable! Ik they're supposed to look rogue and mysterious but I just think they're cute xD and that whole PangWave headcanon is adorable and I wholly accept it as canon in my heart. Ugh I miss them all how tf am I supposed to wait a whole week till I can see them again T_T

Till next week I guess!

[ecstasydemon]

so i got dmed by this account today

when i saw this i immediately assume it’s encoded. so i go on their account and go on a decoder website and start talking to them. they’re using the ROT13 method.

here’s what we said at first (bold is 2by2by2by2, italic text is mine)

do you think you can help?

no probably not. sorry

then i go on their account and notice a post when decoded says:

you have to help him. he doesn't know how to do this himself.

and i notice in the title of their blog is a twitter account, so i go see what that’s about

i ask them if Luke is who they were talking about that needed help, and they said yes.

i go lurk on luke’s account a lil and noticed this

the instagram account in question:

i chatted with the tumblr blog some more:

who is this he though.. is he luke?

well, you're far more perceptive than the others so far. yes, that's him. shame you don't think you can help him, though.

well what does he need help with? maybe i can squeeze some time in

he's going to start needing to leave where he is right now. and soon. he won't want to, though, because he's an idiot. i need people to get him out of there, so that i can win the game.

what game? and where exactly is he supposed to leave from?

well i can't tell you everything. that'd ruin the fun for me. he's in, well, let's call it a temporary holding cell of sorts. not an impossible one to escape by any means. but something along those lines.

he seems fine to me, considering he’s in a “holding cell”

you can still get luxuries, even when you're in a pen. you feed cattle fattening grain before they go to a slaughterhouse, don't you?

oh

so if you know where he is and in order for you to “win”, he has to leave, why do you need others to get him out? why dont you do it?

games have rules, duh. "no direct contact with the other players." we can't message each other, use the same sites, or get people to say something like "oh she said you need to leave that place" for us. it's a really stupid rule, but it's certainly making it more fun.

is luke a “player” in this game?

well yeah, that's why i can't directly talk to him. if i could, this would be so much easier, dear lord

is anyone else a player besides you two?

oh yeah, that idiot on the instagram account. he's a player, but not like me and luke are. he's more of a measure to make sure we're not breaking any rules. seems to be taking his own sweet time, though.

oh yeah i noticed him too. is he supposed to post anything?

i don't know. maybe. it depends on how things go, i guess. if one of us break the rules, he'll probably do something. no clue what, though.

most likely some kind of punishment. luke doesnt seem to be aware that he’s a part of this game. how come you are?

oh yeah, no doubt it'll be a punishment. not sure what it'd be. as for luke, i don't know that much. it's not like i can look in on him and his weird little cell when i please. but unless i'm mixing stuff up, he's got a shit memory.

he mentioned that he’s been in that cell for as long as he can remember, so im guessing not that long judging from your words.

probably not, but maybe. either way, at least he's got the idea of leaving in his head. thanks for that.

(i had been talking to luke on twitter while this was happening, asking him abt his place and whatever. you can see the convo i have w him on his profile)

so this is really interesting so far. luke in particular has to leave wherever he is for this person to win the game. im most likely gonna continue playing if i have the time, but i’d like to see yalls interactions too!

[angelblumes]

God for real, I have no idea what to say to anything to anybody talking abt my mental health like honestly I do try to be the most honest with my therapist because I dont really talk to any1 else irl abt it but you think I know words for how I feel? no. I do feel like a goldfish. I forget everything I've ever felt when I walk into the building. Thanx 4 the good luck tho 😊❤ I also had a little moment rsd when I asked my dad something and he didn't take it seriously so I did cry, salads are really the worst thing to accidentally forget abt/ something bad happen to it😢 😐 😑 I dont even care if you talk abt hannibal, its fine! I understand! I feel like I complain abt bugs almost everytime, but 😑 I got paranoid because a flying big ass beetle was on the ceiling of my porch? And i was 👀 so I wasn't paying attention when another 1 got all up in my face. I stg it made me mad cuz wth why are bugs like that? I had some watermelon w/ brown sugar and white sugar 😌 also some taco bell 4 dinner. I did write inside of my little diary tho 😁 also im sure ur therapist didn't want to kill u 🤣 We are the same person 💗 I also therapize myself , but its just me being emotional/mentally ill and then me trying to talk myself into being logical abt it. Sometimes I feel like I dont be mentally ill and different and im normal, but once I'm around other ppl im like oh ! yea I got problems and everyone can clearly see that and 😬 I still gotta work on it. Not to say I look bad or anything, I just can't put on a normal ppl mask you know? OK good night this was also very long and rambly and all over but✌❤

UR THE BEST EVER. have i said that? its so true. the salad didnt even go bad!!!! i will eat the rest of it today hopefully! and dw i hate bugs like i totally get it😭😭 umm.. i dreamt abt captain america and the winter soldier HELP. we were like besties... idk the only thing i really remember is that they were both hilarious like the whole dream is just me laughing then stopping and then laughing again. there was other stuff but i forgot it obv. i watched a hannibal amv and the song was "take me to church" haha but it showed scenes from the last eps and i forgot i havent seen most of the last season.... like i dont think u mind but spoilers!!^__^ abigail dies and i stopped watching for like 6 months bc of that. i had to rewatch the ep too bc i didnt know exactly where i left off. which is good cuz i did miss a few important minutes at the end but i did break down and sob again. they took hannibal off netflix too so i had to watch it on effing HULU. i despise hulu. the ads are ridiculous im already paying y'all just give me the show! i brought that up bc umm... i cant believe i just QUIT season 3? its so good like i skipped around eps bc i rlly already know what happens but i will watch it all the ads r just impossible. anyway my friend just SCOLDED? ME? for eating a banana too slow????? my rsd barely like bothers me w her bc i just get pissed off like she does this stuff sometimes and it always is ridiculous. "we dont want to get gnats" by me taking a few minutes to eat a god damn banana?😐urgh. i had an awful panic attack bc my allergies are so bad i cant rlly breathe thru my nose right. n i was brushing my teeth and trying to breathe thru my mouth. n i couldn't. i have asthma btw so i was lile oh god this is some extreme asthma attack and im going to die. i did not die. i hate panic attacks like i nvr know its happening in the moment and it makes it worse. n normal ppl masks... SO RELATABLE! anyway um i dont feel like counting all whatever i said so i'll say one thing more. i brought up the hannibal here bc not bc of THAT amv but the one to hoodoo by muse😭 muse is.. big right? i really feel like i live under a rock and i've never been outside. i don't know how i'm supposed to know this stuff. anyway oh em gee. its soooo good. the video. i mean the song is too. i hate amvs where they're like good but the music sucks. even if its good music if it just doesn't vibe then it sucks. anyway idk it totally wrecked me after like seeing abigail die AGAIN and then will saying "i forgive you" and then hannibal walking away and then will n hannibal kill whatshisface together. i might just try to pirate hannibal only bc of hulu's 1-2 minute long adds every 10 minutes. i dont have that kind of patience. i'm always long and rambly do not worry❤️💗

[bipolyjack]

Please tell me more about why you like sheith, I'm very curious to hear the rest of it.

(alright luckily i had the beginning of this saved elsewhere when tumblr just randomly sent it early so imma just begin by pasting. also spoilers for voltron s4 obv) 

the original ask was something like “curious why u like sheith? ive thought abt it and i think i prefer klance”

rubs hands 2gether Thank U for Asking

first of all, thats chill! if klance is ur thing, fuckin go for itmy dude, have a great time with that shit. the fandom’s huge andtheres tons of content. im all for ppl shippin what they want and imnot here to tell someone to ship or not ship something. if u do trulywant to know why im a sheith tho, buckle the fuck up cause im awashin sheith feelings at every moment and i got Things 2 say

alright so the main thing with sheith is that it feels realhealthy and good. (well it did. things are weird this season bc shiromay or may not be a clone but up until his disappearance at least.)they’re rly good abt checking in with each other to see how theother one’s doing and feeling, and they lean on each other a lotfor support. they also treat each other as equals and respect each other’s choices (again, with minor exceptions in the current season). they got that good good hidden backstory together. they got that good good star crossed lovers thing goin on where the universe keeps ripping them apart, fucking them over and tossing them back together more fucked up than before and my dude i Eat That Shit UP. also that good good height difference.the show gives them lots of moments where they’re either alone in a room together havin a private moment or havin an equally private moment in front of the whole fuckin team where fuckin everybody can see them (like the first Hug tm). they’re openly physically intimate with each other (which keith is not with anyone else) and they’re not like. ashamed of that. there’s so much canon content i cry daily. 

here lemme break it down

we know they knew each other in the garrison, and not just like in passing, like acquaintances, but enough that keith was the only person there to see shiro off when the kerberos mission launched. in s1ep1 lance says of shiro “omg that guys my hero” and of keith “you’re my rival” but neither shiro nor keith know who lance even fuckin is. bc presumably they didnt hang out. everyone in the garrison knows who keith and shiro are but they - keith especially it seems like - dont keep track of the other students. also theres this whole fanon thing where shiro and matt were best friends in the garrison and hung out all the time before kerberos, but in s4 when matt greets shiro hes incredibly stiff and awkward and calls him sir and shiro just goes “pidge never gave up on u buddy” which i guess could be a clone thing but could also be him bein like “i totally did give up on u tho, whatever” (and i can totally buy that considering how pidge’s whole personal arc this whole time has been looking for matt and their dad, and while shiro has been supportive of that, he’s also been like hey dude that’s not our top priority as a team). so from that i infer that matt and shiro werent best buds in the garrison, and that he must have spent a lot more of his time with keith bc in s2ep1 keith makes it clear that shiro made a significant impact on his life and that he still thinks about things shiro said to him before kerberos. which we havent seen. bc theyre hiding the pre-kerberos backstory from us and i cry. also their flashbacks in s1ep2 (i think, i dont exactly remember which ep but i think its that one) when they all put on the headsets and we see their fondest memories, shiro’s is the day they were separated and keith’s is the day they found each other again like jesus.

then there’s keith’s first scene in the show. the first thing we see him doing is kicking the shit out of like three garrison guys to rescue shiro. we get that close up of him touching shiro’s unconscious fuckin face and his first line in the whole show is him saying shiro’s name. like shit dude how am i supposed 2 not ship that. the first time keith and lance interact, its lance butting in on that moment and keith being like “who the fuck are u” and its. uncomfortable. we also know that keith has been livin alone in the desert and obsessing over these lion carvings bc he got kicked out of the garrison for basically insubordination sometime after shiro went missing. we get that scene in the shack where keith talks abt feeling lost until shiro showed up and everyone else in the room looking all confused and uncomfortable as these two dudes who clearly already know each other well and have been separated for like a year just stare into each other’s eyes or what the fuck ever. also the scene outside the shack where keith comes and finds shiro and puts a hand on his shoulder and asks him how hes doing - theyre alone for that part. also worth mentioning is that keith has no hesitation touching shiro’s galra tech arm, whereas lance hesitates before shaking his hand. we see a bunch of times that keith is touch averse with almost everyone except shiro, in a way that indicates a degree of prior familiarity and a good understanding of boundaries that keith hasnt had the time or inclination to set up with lance, hunk, pidge, allura, coran etc. also the one time he holds lance when sendack attacks the castle and lance is unconscious, lance sort of blows it off later and basically goes “no homo” when keith brings it up so that was a bummer

i also love some of the Pauses they put into shiro and keith’s dialogue, some of them are just. so choice. like when keith proposes a crazy plan that puts him in danger and shiro just takes a sec, closes his eyes, then goes “alright i’ll back u up, do what u gotta do” like!!!! boi!!!!!! thats good shit. also in s2ep9 during the blade of marmora trial when keith is basically having this nightmare about shiro rejecting him because of his connection to the galra, (which real actual shiro can see because this whole ep was a fuckin fanfiction) and he does that same thing where hes like “shiro... *pause, close eyes for Just a sec* you’re like a brother to me” which! by the way!! i have said the same thing!! to a friend i had a crush on!!! who was straight!!!! and i was a little baby who didnt know i was into girls yet and we used to say we were like sisters bc i? didnt know i?? was gay???? we shared her bed whenever i stayed over and she really did see me as a sister and i would just lie next to her and daydream about touching her boobs,, anyway keith is so relatable there i could yell forever but continuing on,

can we, real quick, talk abt the first time keith flies the black lion? bc in s2ep1 hes not the black paladin yet. real shiro is still around. and keith legit goes up to black, puts a hand on her big ole nose and goes “ur boi is in trouble, we gotta help him” and she goes “yeah dude hop in” like?????????????? thats some fanfic shit again! black Knows! also dont even talk to me abt how many times keith and shiro yell each others names in that ep its unreal. also the trope (that i eat the fuck up every time) of one member of the otp lying trapped and injured somewhere and talking to the other member of the otp thru a helmet comm or whatever and they cant see each other but they can hear each others voices, so they have to keep talking to like reassure each other they’re both still alive and okay?!!! im such a sucker for that shit!!!! ummmmm the fact that shiro keeps reassuring keith that hes fine when theres a gaping glowing wound in his side and hes like visibly in pain, clenching his teeth, eyes closed, groaning, sweat beading on his forehead, the whole fuckin thing?? and josh knocked it outta the park with shiro’s voice in that ep making him sound like he was trying not to sound hurt and exhausted so that keith wouldn’t worry too much like Fuck me up!! smiling thru the pain when keith talks abt how much shiro changed his life and made him a better person??? boi!!!!!

then there are the times when shiro talks abt something happening to him and keith taking over as voltron’s leader, and keith gets all panicked about it like he cant stand the thought of losing shiro again (this happens a bunch of times but the ones that are coming to mind are s2ep1 and s2ep9 bc. again. those are the fanfic episodes). and then he Does lose him again and he’s so clearly grieving, lashing out at the rest of the team, super obviously feeling shiro’s loss more than the others (and lance is a real dick about it a bunch of times which really rubbed me wrong), going out to look for him over and over bc he wants to believe so bad that shiro’s out there somewhere. omg the “please no” when the black lion accepts him that shit Fucked me right up!! he wants to honor shiro’s wishes!! but some part of him knows that’s like admitting that shiro’s gone and isn’t coming back. and then!!!!!! when they find kuron and its just the red lion and the galra ship floating alone in space just like. gently drifting toward each other. keith’s little tired smile there. fuck me up. and then we find out in the next scene that keith has been the only one in shiro (kuron)’s room while he’s recovering and shiro (kuron) hasnt bothered to shave or cut his hair or get dressed yet and he lets keith see him like that and not the rest of the team. fuck. keith looks Exhausted in that scene. hes got bags under his eyes, hes kinda hunched in on himself, arms crossed, like something in him Knows this isnt his boi but he wants to believe it’s him so bad and its. god. its a lot. and Then when hes turning to leave and kuron is like “how many times will u have to save me before this is over” and keith’s face just relaxes into this legitimately genuine smile when he says “as many times as it takes” like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck me

this is where it starts gettin awkward with them bc kuron isnt shiro and he doesnt treat keith the way shiro would but he Tries, like after keith fucks up that one mission and kuron comes and finds him (again, in private) to touch his shoulder and be like “im proud of u boi” when keith clearly Did Not Do A Good Job and keith just looks bummed like “thats. thats not tru” and it Hurts me bc we know real shiro doesnt do fake praise. also kuron orders keith to put himself in danger more than once and doesnt give a shit that keith and the others get hurt because of it which also real shiro would never do - we’ve seen him react when his teammates take hits before, but especially keith, like during the bom trial. then theres s4ep1 where keith sort of drifts away from team voltron in order to do more stuff with the blade of marmora and everyone’s pissed at him but then as hes walking out kuron’s like “you know we’re here for you if you need us” and keith gets that soft smile again like “i know and i cant tell you how much that means to me” and then they do that good good hand clasp that turns into a hug which by the way is a stark contrast to when other people hug keith and they just kinda grab him and he goes all stiff and it takes him a sec or three to put his arms around them if he even does that at all - with shiro they do the hand clasp first and then walk into the hug together and keith buries his face in shiro’s fuckin shoulder and smiles and closes his eyes and i wanna die. and theyve done this twice now which makes me think they probs did it before kerberos too and that also hurts me. 

then theres s4ep6 where keith has gone the whole season feeling like he was a bad leader. it seems like voltron doesnt rly need him and his friends dont need him and shiro doesnt need him and hes been hanging with the bom who have their whole philosophy of not going back to rescue their own guys if it means putting the mission or the rest of the team in danger (which keith already was saying when allura was captured - how very galra of him) and now keith’s having to readjust to that mindset after being part of such a close knit team. so when he sees a way to take that shield down, he just fuckin goes for it. hes started to see himself as expendable. when shiro thinks hes about to die, we get all kinds of flashbacks, the first of which is him and keith alone outside the shack. there are no flashbacks with keith. he just closes his eyes. and shiro (kuron) congratulates him. like obv its before he knows what keith was about to do, but still, thats some fucked up shit. 

now this wasnt rly part of ur question, ie u didnt ask me how i felt abt klance, but i feel like i gotta say: lance just grates on me. im sorry i know lots of people who love him but he just. isnt my cup of tea. and i do think the relationship shown in the show between keith and shiro is a lot more mature and healthy than the one shown between lance and keith. lance has some good moments! but canon lance and fanon lance seem like two entirely different people to me a lot of the time and thats all cool and fine if ur lookin for that, again im not here to stop ppl from having fun, but there are so many good sheith moments in the show and im just glad to see the relationship between two dudes depicted that way regardless of whether it becomes canon or not. also lance in the show is only shown being attracted to girls, and in kinda a skeevy way - like ive met guys who treat me like that and been Very off-put by that kind of behavior. and it would put me off if after all that they got him together with keith. like hes just superficially interested in all these hot girls but keith, who he has very few heartfelt intimate moments with onscreen, is his True Love? like thats,, not good bi rep. i Do rly like the bond hes been building with allura since they switched lions, that seems like its going in a direction that could turn out to be very wholesome and sweet. but again, if klance is ur thing, by all means have a ball.

k that was a lot but tl:dr i like 2 cry and sheith provides me with lots of opportunities to do that,, if u read it all then thank u deeply and truly for ur attention, u probs Understand me as a person a bit better than before lol

[opendoorlorien]

I'm curious what are ur thoughts on Takumi? I personally don't like him, but I always give ppl the chance to try to change my mind abt him

lol I had a feeling sooner or later that someone was goingto ask me my opinion on this kid. OKAY BUCKLE UP. There’s no way I can be brieftalking about a character like him so here we go.

Takumi is without a doubt one of the more complex andlayered character of Fates (but not the most, no, that honor would go to Xander.But Takumi is definitely just behind him.) This is a great and welcome change fromAwakening where most of the cast just were as they were and didn’t have anydevelopment or character arcs or great change for better or for worse duringthe entire story (the only ones who really did are Chrom (a bit), some villainsif you count spotpass which is barely canon, and perhaps Lucina a tad). Fatescranked this up quite a bit with many of the royal family members going throughgreat character arcs for better and for worse in both routes, and some nonmain/royal characters who have smaller—but still powerful and significant—charactermoments… some being only for the worse (like Flora and Gunter to a similarextent).

But the real question here is how I feel about Takumispecifically. And I don’t suppose that’s really a simple question to answer (Ialso figure you sent me this ask bc you want to see me analyze him and talk indepth about his character lol. So I’ll do that a bit here too instead of justgiving my opinion.) For one I actually really like complex and multi layeredcharacters. I tend to avoid or disregard the ones that don’t really haveanything going for them (I feel like if Kaze didnt have all his character stuffI might not have liked him as much. If anything it really works to his benefiton how he appeals to me (and a reason why I like him better than say, Frederick)). So as long as a character is complex and goes throughsome nice development, even if I dont like their personality, it’s hard for meto at least not respect how they were written as a character, you know.

And I think that describes how I feel about Takumi too lol.NOW DONT GET ME WRONG, I definitely don’t hate him in any sense of the word.It’s just that……… I don’t like tsunderes lol. And here I’m going to usetsundere here as an umbrella term for “a character who is mean to you but doesn’treally hate you, necessarily”. Fates actually has a few of these characters invarying levels of intensity: Saizo, Rinkah, Selena lololol. And Takumi is oneof them too. But honestly I like to give Takumi the benefit of the doubt herebecause among them all, he’s has the most understandable and relateable reasons for acting the way he does to you.  Like Saizo is an ass just because lol (I get his pricklypersonality also stems from how he was brought up and the position he wasmeant to fill and everything but geez dude CHILL). Rinkah is an even worse casehere since she’s just very angry and snippy to everyone bc LOL FLAME TRIBE GETIT!? SHE’S LIKE FIRE LMAO. AND THAT MEANS SHE’S ANGRY LOLOLOLOLOOL.

And while I generally dislike tsunderes (or at least maletsunderes because I find they’re generally more harsh and brutal to you), I’mwilling to give Takumi a pretty big benefit of the doubt here because of what MADEhim the way he is. He has a LOT of reasons why he developed his harsh and coldattitude toward strangers. I feel like most people who dislike or even hateTakumi have no compassion for what he went through and just disregard it asirrelevancy. Like they’re just either unwilling or unable to understand him. AndI get it, like sometimes you’ll come across a character that you can’t findyourself liking no matter what. But I feel like when you understand whereTakumi’s coming from and what made him this way, he becomes MUCH less of a shitand much easier to sympathize with.  

Okay so a lot of people give Takumi shit in his firstappearance for being really mean to both you and Azura. Like literally thefirst thing you hear him say (outside of the weird dream battle in the prologue)is that he doesn’t trust you or Azura and he’s not really going to give you achance. Now the game doesn’t really explain why he’s so harsh to you from theget go (which is why I think people get upset with Takumi and his first real appearance gives you a bad impression of him from the start), but guess what he actually has a legit reason for how he acted here. I’m not going to go superdeep into why, but instead I’m going to recommend you watch the Fates drama CD.More specifically the Birthright one which recounts chapters 4ish to 6 in Fates,from mostly Takumi’s perspective. And these tracks humanize him WONDERFULLY andexplains and justifies PERFECTLY his attitude toward you in his firstappearance AND afterward. Like Takumi actually REALLY did want to like you, getfamiliar with you as his family, and form a relationship and a bond with you.Just… a lot of unfortunate things kept getting in the way. It’s DEFINITELY wortha watch and honestly just tore at my heart strings, and put a lot of things in perspectiveand set up the beginning of Takumi’s character arc perfectly. Long story short?It’s all Saizo’s fault lol.

Takumi gets his best development and most exploration ofcharacter ironically in Conquest. Also, personally, I just find Conquest to,generally, be the best written of all three routes. Yes Takumi does have somemoments in Birthright, but they either exist for eerie foreshadowing for whatwill happen in Conquest

or they just aren’t written that well. 

sigh.

And when I play Birthright, I find that is the route I enjoyTakumi the least. Yes my feelings are still far far away from hate. But whenhe’s not pushed into the extreme downward spiral situation like he is inConquest, he just ends up acting like a snippy tsundere. I mean even toward hisfamily and very late in the game too he keeps acting this way with theoccasional snarky comment or “more harsh than he meant it to comeoff” remark. Which wore on me a little bit but nowhere near as much asSaizo or Rinkah’s constant mean attitude. Takumi’s support with MU is also agood example of this. And since M!Corrin is canon with BR, and F!Corrin iscanon with Conquest, I think Takumi’s support was written with M!Corrin inmind, no matter which one you pick. Which is why I think he acts so mean to youin that support.

Despite my gripes with Birthright, the one valuable thing itdoes show us about Takumi’s character is his dorky side. Because this boy is adork lol. And this is actually a surprising, but also very welcoming, side ofhis character to see. I don’t think Takumi’s tsundere side is who he is. It’sjust an unfortunate byproduct of his inferiority complex and ptsd from Corrinbeing taken away and leaving a huge void in the family. It’s not who he is. Andin Birthright we really get to see more of Takumi’s better side in a morecasual and less extreme environment in supports with other people in the army.We get to see firsthand he’s actually a very sweet, kind and well meaning boy.Yall haven’t forgot that DAD IS ON THE WAY comment right lol. Takumi is verypure of heart and its really nice to see this part of him in BR. Like, look, he is a NERD

(lol Kaze lurkin in that img I didnt even notice)

AND in his support with Oboro when she makes some clothes and asks his opinion he says “this gets the Takumi seal of approval” AND do you remember how he pushes Leo’s back and brings him closer to the group in that very last cutscene of Rev? YEAH

In my Revelations opinion piece where I talked aboutcharacters, I mentioned the four big ones who get the most development andcharacter focus in this game, those being: Xander, Ryoma, Leo and Takumi. Nowthese four are similar in that they both kind of have a good end character arcand a bad end character arc depending on whether you’re playing BR or Conquest.Like Xander gets his best end in Conquest while BR is his WORST.

So, naturally, the same is applicable for Takumi whereConquest leads to his bad end. Or… does it?  

Now everything here begins with Anankos. It’s never actuallyofficially stated anywhere exactly WHEN Takumi was first possessed by him, butif I were going to put my two cents in, I would say it happened when Mikotodied in chapter five. Now going back again to the drama CD, we get to see morehere just how deeply this affected Takumi. In the game Takumi only talks to youpost battle in chapter five where he just screams curses and blame at you. Ifyou don’t know where he’s coming from, this also puts him in a kind of badlight. But the drama CD gives us another more focused account on what Takumiwent through in the direct aftermath of Mikoto’s death and its really notpretty. And if there was any perfect time to want to brainwash this kid, itwould have been here.

Now Leo and Takumi are sort of similar as characters in thatthey kind of have the same problems and struggles. Like they both haveinferiority complexes, and are desperate to live up to their over achieving siblingsect. I think the most important part where they differ—and why Takumi waspossessed and not Leo—is that Leo has his pride. I feel like he has less selfdoubt than Takumi and a higher opinion of himself than Takumi does of himself.(I’m also sure Leo’s magic power helped to stave Anankos’ influence off a bit).Takumi was also put in more extreme situations than Leo was. Keeping in mindTakumi is kind of weak of constitution and has a low opinion on himself, andthat he just saw the woman he’s known as his mother killed before his eyes,gives us more than enough reasons for him to fall hard victim to Anankos’influence here lol.

When you take into consideration everything that happens toTakumi in Conquest, its honestly not hard to understand why he became this way.Firstly, I believe Anankos’ endgame goal here was to kill Takumi, and as soonas possible. For whatever reason, Anankos can’t completely control someoneunless they’re dead first (as evidenced by all the other people he controlslike Sumeragi, Arete, the people of Valla, Garon too—though its not really madeclear to us how or when he died).

Like, we don’t get this

 until Anankos hassuccessfully pushed Takumi beyond the breaking point and gets him killed.

Before then Takumi is very angry sure, but he’s stillhimself to at least some extent. He’s not ‘completely lost’.

So what Anankos did instead to further his agenda wasamplify Takumi’s emotions of anger, rage and hate and push him to the breakingpoint. I think Anankos actually kind of sees himself in Takumi because theyboth had similar issues and personal downfalls, and that added with Takumialready being kind of mentally weak and vulnerable, was the perfect recipe fordisaster here.

In Conquest, Takumi suffers. A lot. Think about all of thisfor a second. He fights and loses to you in chapter 10 which, in his mind, allowsyou to move forward and attain greater power that he knows you’re going to useto harm his friends and family in Hoshido. And him losing to you only adds tohis inferiority complex because he was unable to stop you. In chapter 13 afterhe loses to you, Hans goes on a bloody killing spree, brutally taking the livesof Orochi, Reina and Scarlet. And Takumi has NO reason to think you didn’t havea hand in either helping Hans or allowing him to go through with it. And thelast time you see him alive in chapter 23, you’ve just started your invasion ofHoshido, have captured Sakura, her retainers, and Yukimura, and you’ve just gotdone killing Oboro and Hinata—because let’s not mince words here, they do die inchapter 23. So, honestly, taking all this into account, even WITHOUT Anankosbuffing his rage, Takumi has every right to act as angry and frustrated withyou as he does in Conquest. And anger blinds.

And all of that finally culminates to Takumi DOING A FLIPoff the Great Wall of Suzanoh.  And nowthat he is dead, Anankos has more control over him. Based on what we see ingame I don’t think Anankos can 100% control a person like a puppet, but more orless influence their extreme negative desires. When we see characters likeTakumi or Garon as a goo zombie, they don’t even mention Anankos by name, impliedor otherwise. When you see Takumi again he’s gone FULLMADNESS and his onlydesire is to kill you, which were his biggest defining thoughts when he wasalive in Conquest, now pushed beyond to the extreme now that he’s dead and completelyunder Anankos’ influence. He’s basically just a zombie made out of nothing buthate and the desire to kill you. I actually think Anankos probably wanted touse him as a trump card just in case you ended up stopping Garon, which you did.

Luckily we still got the power of love to contend with here.The ‘dream sequence’ at the very end of Conquest does wonders for both Takumiand the viewer. Like, even if you DON’T like him, you had to have feltsomething here. What both Corrin and Takumi needed in this route more thananything, but didn’t get the chance to do until now, was to TALK IT TF OUT. Andtalking it out can really do wonders. Takumi in this dream sequence appears toyou as his truest self and is able to give to you all of his honest to goodnessfeelings and smooth things over for the most part. And as a bonus he infusesYato with some Fujin Yumi goodness so you’re all good. (Which, now that I think about it, is some kind of symbolism with him truly forgiving you, apologizing to you, and giving his heart to you)

The Conquest finale will always be incredibly special to me.Because unlike in every other FE endgame where you just kill a transparentlyevil big bad dragon (or in Sacred Stone’s case—SATAN) after all the horrible,cruel, bloody and nasty stuff you went through in Conquest, after hitting rock bottomafter rock bottom, the last thing you do in the route is fight to save someone’ssoul. And that is honestly so powerful to me, and a reason why I’ll alwaysprefer Conquest over BR or Rev.

That’s more or less all I have to say about Takumi opinionswise. He is a very extreme character, and because of some of his actions inConquest I can understand people not liking him. But, much like Xander, he is avery complex and layered character who has a lot going on for him. He’sdefinitely not one of those characters you can just write off at first glancewithout trying to understand what makes him who he is, and why he acts theextreme ways that he does, and understand the reasons why he does the thingsthat people give him flack for.

It’s definitely okay not to like him if you don’t want to—I appreciatehim a lot as a character but I could really take or leave his tsundere side—buthate him or not, you got to admit he’s one of the best characters in this game.If everything you read here didn’t change your opinion on him or cause you tosympathize more with him, then I gotta recommend you go watch/listen to thatDrama CD because like I said, it really does WONDERS for Takumi as a character,explaining where he’s coming from, his stand points on things, and explaininghis volatile attitude toward you. He really doesn’t hate you at all, butsometimes people can let their emotions get the worst of them without meaningto—and when a centuries old evil helldragon is controlling you, it’s honestlyno wonder things got so bad, right.

And, all in all, TAKUMI DID NOT DESERVE THIS SUFFERING AND HE DESERVED SO MUCH MORE AND DESERVES HAPPIEST END

Also here’s a link to that drama CD on youtubePart OnePart Tworecommended tracks if you dont want to watch the entire thingVol 1. Track 2Vol 2. Tracks 4-6 and 8CHECK IT OUT