#what did i do to upset it

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[celestiachan]

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

[hollis-art]

little warm up doodles :)

[bunnieswithknives]

Thanks.

Prev

[lucabyte]

Different standards

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[happypeachsludgeflower]

I’ll never understand why He Xuan had to go through with his elaborate revenge plot against Shi Wudu the way he did. He already had the perfect revenge set up. Murdering Shi Wudu might have brought He Xuan momentary satisfaction, but seducing the man’s precious little brother and rubbing the relationship in the water tyrants face every single day is eternal.

[ghostorbz]

Guess who accidentally deleted the animation before I posted it on here and had to use cobalt to get my own video

yt link

[ratatatastic]

maffhew who refuses to say runebergin torttu because he knows hes gonna butcher it so bad he might be kicked out of the country the second he tries and staunchly avoids that by going "the one dessert that barky is going to have to explain 😃"

sasha who gets faced with the most generic description of everything hes ever eaten in his life so far because of maffhew and going "???... oh you mean runebergin torttu!"

"he did good he liked the food and he likes the finland so far so its good" sasha says with so much pride now that all the anxiety has left his system that his husband teammate is enjoying his country and doesnt hate it

media availability | 10.29.24 (x)(x)

the smile of a man who knowlingly doomed his husband and said husband using all his brain power to context clues his way to whatever the fuck he just got asked that his brain is running hotter than a mid 2012 macbook air thats somehow still alive in the year of the lord 2024 but girl does she chug along shes louder than a fighter jet

[kingslionheart]

A good King relies upon good advice, Uhtred. I speak only as a man who has made mistakes before.

[bondagebimbo]

I’m genuinely about to go square up with some fuckhead ass kids because my mother just informed me that they have not only once, but TWICE cut my youngest sister’s hair without her consent or knowledge.

the first time was in April and they cut like 6 inches off a random spot of her hair.

and yesterday, they cut fucking 14ish inches off because she started wearing her hair in a braid so no one could cut chunks out of it as easily so they just cut the whole fucking braid off.

I’m going to fucking kill them, who the fuck made them think this is an acceptable way to act and fucking treat someone. deadass going to go fight some fucking high schoolers over this, I swear to god.

kids are so fucking fucked up these days, I’m so beyond angry. she’s so fucking upset and distraught and nothing can be done about it. that hair is just gone. I feel so fucking sad and angry just on her behalf. why are kids so fucking cruel, she didn’t deserve that

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[hoshiina]

pairing: hoshina soushirou x short!gn!reader (no prns)

request: i’m loving your works omgg sooo i have a request for vice captain hoshina! can you do one where soshiro and reader are holding a training session together and they’re sparring rookies and they’re both just staring at each other cause damn why’s my s/o so fine while fighting? fem reader who’s a captain or higher rank would be so cool hehealso bonus points if the rookies ask soshiro and reader to spar against each other and they do! 

warnings: rather small and short reader, i had written it with a fem reader in mind like you had mentioned but i realized there were no actual fem terms used (or prns) so i tagged it as gn! however the reader is described to be rather short with a small build, TYSM FOR THE REQ !! so sorry it took so long to get to !!!!

wc: 1300

It wasn’t like Hoshina to space out during work, but he knew this would happen the moment they assigned the two of you to help with sparring trainings together. Watching you spar, he just wasn’t able to take his eyes off of you— it was truly beyond his control, unfortunately.

“Uh, Vice-Captain,” the next one in line said, trying to get his attention. It was Iharu.

“Oh, sorry,” he said, snapping out of it finally and focusing on the officer in front of him. “Alright, whenever you're ready.”

Now, once he had started sparring, his full attention was on his opponent. He would never spar with anyone distracted if they wished for it to be serious— not even a kid. He'd move quickly and swiftly, precisely hitting Iharu wherever he showed any openings. When Hoshina sparred, it was usually over before the opponent knew it. Iharu would be on the ground and Hoshina would have his arm by his neck to show what would've happened if he had a sword. It was beautiful, to say the least.

Iharu’s eyes were wide in shock— he knew Hoshina was strong, but he thought he'd be able to do a little more.

“Iharu, you need to calm down a little more,” he said.

“I know, I need to think a few steps further and I just—,” he started to explain.

“No, I can tell you're trying to think ahead. However, you're stressing out over that way too much. I’m sure you're trying not to move only by instinct, which is definitely a good idea, but sometimes I think you can trust your gut a little. Calm down, I'll guide you a little more next round,” he said.

“Thank you,” Iharu said, grateful of the feedback and quickly moved to the back of the line again.

Now, his eyes were on you again. They always were. You were going against Aoi, and it was truly a sight to see. You weren't all that tall, rather short if anything compared to all these tall men, and definitely far shorter than Aoi, but that wasn't going to hold you back. Not one bit.

The way you'd move swiftly but confidently always made him beam. It wasn't like you were doing anything flashy, or insane, it was just every move you did had a purpose. With absolutely no unnecessary movements, your every move was precise.

It was rather obvious that Aoi had subconsciously let his guard down from the difference in your builds, even if he didn't mean to at all. Though that only lasted a few seconds. Immediately, he knew you were leagues above him. You'd observe so carefully— predicting his next move, watching for cues, reacting on time. There was so much thinking you did while you sparred, but it worked so well for you, and when you succeeded in such a method, it truly looked like magic from afar. Quick and precise dodges, a jab in the slightest opening, a swift hit where it was least unexpected (or rather, seemed impossible for do).

And Hoshina loved watching you spar. Because you looked so thrilled doing so. You seemed to be having just as much fun as he was excited to watch you fight. Of course, he loved the pure skill in your craft that you had acquired through loads and loads of effort, but he loved how you looked so excited sparring someone new. How you jumped around in seemingly glee and not just the calculated steps you made. 

You were so attractive when you sparred, he was afraid all these new officers would fall for you after this.

Your sparring with Aoi was over soon enough, and he finally realized how long he was spaced out for.

“Sorry, I'll get it together,” he said to the next officer in line, but they were all looking at your match too. Just watching.

Perhaps it was mesmerising to see someone with a smaller build show absolutely no disadvantages you faced, even if there probably were many. Or rather, inspiring, might be the word.

“It feels like I watched a magic show on one end,” Reno said to Hoshina. He was next.

“Doesn’t it?” Hoshina replied, rather smug, which perplexed Reno.

“Entranced by me, over there?” you teased from the lack of, well, sparring happening in Hoshina’s line.

“Bullseye, I fear,” Hoshina replied, to which you blushed a little. He wasn't one to reply so genuinely with so many people around.

“Oh, shut up, get to work,” you said, immediately feeling slightly flustered. “Next!”

“Is that how you talk to your Vice-Captain, Platoon Leader (L/n)?” he asked and you jutted your lips out in frustration. So now you were Platoon Leader (L/n).

“Apologies, Vice-captain,” you said.

“Hmm… what should I make you do,” he pondered out loud. You didn't think he'd actually make you do something. “You should spar with me.”

You blinked. “You could just ask normally, you know?”

“Shut up, you're no fun,” he said.

“Alright, I'll spar you later,” you said.

“Woo-hoo!” he said and that made you laugh. You were feeling rather ‘woo-hoo!’ about sparring him too. It's been a while since you had done so.

He was actually far more excited than he'd like to admit. If there was one thing he enjoyed more than watching you spar, it definitely had to be sparring against you. As soon as the training was complete and everyone had the advice they needed, it was finally time for you.

“Would it be okay if I watched?” Reno asked, and you grinned.

“Absolutely,” you said. “Make sure you go spread around that I absolutely beat his ass later.”

“Beat who now?” Hoshina asked, but you just smiled.

After all this time working and sparring with him, you had only actually beat him once. Perhaps today would be your second.

“Whenever you're ready,” he said and you sneered. You got the first move. You stayed low, keeping yourself small. Hoshina specialized in going against smaller kaiju, but they were all still larger than him. Even when he sparred, he wasn't the tallest nor the largest, so it wasn't often he sparred with someone smaller than him.

After a few seconds you jumped right back. You remembered to breathe. Hoshina was a horrible opponent for you because you centered your moves on openings you could observe, but Hoshina hardly had any openings to begin with, and the ones he did have were far too fast to deal with. You'd have to focus more than ever. You took another deep breath again.

“Okay, I'll go ahead then,” he said. You had to force yourself to relax. It was just human instinct to stiffen at the sight of him coming at you. Relax, but stay focused.

He knew you'd stay low so he kept his body rather low too, but everything was terrifyingly fast. However, as time went on you found yourself focusing better and finally you managed to land a hit on him. You both took a step back, catching the breath you didn't realize you had lost.

Again, without a word, the two of you started to spar again. This went on and on until finally your knees hit the floor and you didn't seem to have the strength to stand.

“Ugh,” you said, frustrated. You flopped onto the floor and lied down, the exhaustion immediately catching up to you.

There were still a few around who had stayed to watch, but it was as if he didn't remember. Or didn't care.

“Love,” he said, crouching down by your side to face you. His eyes were wide and he had a smile he couldn't hide. He looked absolutely in love with you, to which you had to blush at. “Wanna go again?”

You laughed. You could hardly even stand.

“Absolutely.”

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Wardrobe Woes

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[jadewritesficshere]

Steddie x female!reader thought 18+ only

Eddie blinks his eyes a couple of times to make sure he is actually seeing what he is seeing. He must be living in a nightmare.

You're laying back on one of the pool loungers. One leg dangling over the edge keeping your foot on the warm cement ground, the other spread over Steve's lap as he absently rubs his hand up and down it while he bitches to you about something from work. Your hand rubs up and down Steve's back in comfort. But that isn't the nightmare.

Your bright red bikini bottoms covering enough, but with your legs spread a bit more skin is shown then intended. Spread in such a way that makes Eddie want to just dive in. Get on his knees and worship you, rub his face over your mound as he licks and nips and sucks. Moan as the curly thatch of hair brushes against his face.

Except the curls of hair he is expecting to see peeking around your bikini are gone. Just smooth bare skin. And that isn't the only nightmare. Steve's chest is smooth like when he was in school on the swim team. Not a speck of that beautiful chest hair Eddie would curl into after getting hot and heavy. Not a single curl of the "love rug" he jokingly called it.

Eddie wants to weep. To throw himself down like a little kid and thrash his arms and legs around. Yeah, it's your body and you can do what you want, but he still is sad its gone. Eddie doesn't like change, and suddenly walking in to see both of his partners change something without any warning? Uncomfortable. It makes Eddie feel itchy.

Eddie can barely speak as he walks over and sits next to Steve. He doesn't respond to Steve's warm greeting. Doesn't respond to you asking how the day is. Just stares with big wet eyes at the sight in front of him. A pout on his lips.

A warm hand lands on his shoulder, gently squeezing. Steve's brow furrowed in concern, your wide eyes blinking at him.

"Shaved?" Eddie asks in a quiet voice, eyes darting to Steve's chest and then your clothed pussy. Steve lets out a huff of laughter, "Fuck, thought something was wrong man." Eddie glares," It is."

[dragonpyre]

Young Justice au where post canon, Ra's decides to finally just dump Jason in the pit for whatever reason and now he has a screaming teen/adult on his hands that he kind of didn't prepare himself to deal with it