#what am i supposed to do with it?
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A well-meaning extended relative has just mailed me an old camouflage baseball cap that smells like a stranger's house, as a surprise, saying it had belonged to my father who committed suicide back in 2010. So now it's sitting here on my work-from-home desk next to the box of tissues, staring at me, & I dunno how to feel, but I'm supposed to pay attention to math & spreadsheets for another 4 hours yet?
#like a souvenir?#what am i supposed to do with it?#make a shrine?#am i supposed to feel something specific?#hhhhh#a poem about loneliness#don't leave me here alone#grief
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Fucking CRYING IM USING THAT PHRASE FOR EVERYTHING NOW
#My brother in ra what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?????#*gestures to all my trauma*#memes#meme#funny#haha#joke#jokes#mizismiz
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Take It Easy☀️
#haikyuu#hinata shouyou#haikyuu fanart#anime fanart#fanart#madsart#digital art#anime#I just finished the Haikyuu manga#good god#what am I supposed to do now????#go work for all my hopes and dreams?????#literally the best manga ever#I’ve never felt so alive#so happy#I cried like 7 times#just between the nekoma match and the end#god#so good#a masterpiece#I’m so very proud of Hinata my baby
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day 1 without ao3: i have gone through all 5 stages of grief multiple times and have invented a 6th. i will not disclose what the 6th stage of grief is.
#I AM GOING INSANE#what am i supposed to do??#’you should work on your WIP’ NO I CANTTT#‘ read actual books on your real bookshelf’ NUH UH#ao3#archive of our own#i’m tagging ships#malec#destiel#hannigram#jonmartin#tomgreg#kenstewy#imagine all the fics i could be reading rn
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beautiful women make me feel like. idk., a startled horse
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Hero.
#legend of zelda#echoes of wisdom#loz eow#loz#zelda#tri#josh art tag#been meaning to do a full on stained glass drawing for like 2 years now lol#ive had ideas but none really stuck with me until this one#and the reason why is cuz this one was more of a scene! it wasnt just a normal drawing made to look like stained glass#it had what is supposed to be a literal window with someone standing before it looking up at it#also i find the timing of this drawing funny#cuz i just recently changed my shading style to resemble stained glass even more so than usual#cuz for years now ive gottem comments saying#my style reminds people of stained glass#and sometimes i see it sometimes i dont#cuz my shading style changes and sometimes it really did look glass like#but other times i dont think it did?? but i still got those comments??#maybe its like the way i do lineart or block out shapes?#idk but recently when i was growing tired of my previous coloring style i remembered those comments#and decided to lean into it#but now just a little while after that#here i am doing a legit stained glass illustration lol
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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when its 4am and the whole squad is zooted out their gourds trying to read the overhead menu in mcdonalds
#baldur's gate 3#i've been them all#wyll: the smell of dirty fry oil is making him green out#astarion: 100% of his energy is dedicated to keeping his face perfectly neutral. he hasn't said or heard a word since they left camp#lae'zel: wait. where do my arms go. how do i noramlly hold my arms. what. am i supposed to do with my arms??? ogh god everyone knows im hig#anthrael: has been trying to read the menu for 13 minutes now but the pictures on the screens keep changing too fast
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some buttons for the fellow voters out there
Edit: more designs and some info available here :)
#inspired by us election buttons from various decades :p#listen its sunday morning‚ what else am i supposed to be doing but whatever this is#wtnv#welcome to night vale#cecilsweep#tumblr sexymen poll#cecil gershwin palmer#kostek original#tumblr sexyrematch#cecil palmer#tumblr sexyman#my draws
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alright ALRIGHT she's my favorite i KNOW it's perdictable for me!
#what am i supposed to do!#shes a raggedy!#my art#doodles#the amazing digital circus#tadc#? is that a tag? its easier than the whole thing lol
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house md summary
#these all looked fine as I was drawing them but once I exported them it immediately got all messed up looking so WHATEVER#I’ve been wanting to redraw Dan hentschel thumbnails and there was only one man who shared his experiences#house md#medical malpractice#gregory house#dr house#dr gregory house#fanart#my art#not cartoon related but what else am I supposed to do with these
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I truly, TRULY do not know how to say this, because the fact that I have to say it makes me feel like I am losing my grip on reality. But no, in the post-capitalistic anarchist utopia, I will not be relying on “autistic minecraft girlies” to be building inspectors because - and this may shock you - one of those occupations takes years of education in how to read and interpret hundreds of thousands of lines of regulations based on complicated math and physics that were the result of decades of tragedy and death, and the other one involves playing a children’s video game.
#i am begging this website. BEGGING it. to stop acting like building codes are state oppression#and please stop reducing blue collar jobs to 'so easy any handyman could do it with a youtube video'#that's how people fucking die#i didn't spend five years learning how to do my job safely to watch people online tell me it could've just been a course in high school#i know that this is like. a minority minority opinion and not really worth getting worked up over#but it's so annoying to see supposed leftists denigrating blue collar jobs like this#same poster also opined that we won't need garbagemen#because 'if the trash is bothering people they'll figure out a way to clean it without having to pick it up'#like what??? does that even fucking mean????#construction
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YOU MANIFESTED THE TWEEL CARDS CONGRATS
YOU'RE WELCOME EVERYBODY!
seriously though I was probably like. 60-80% thinking we'd get at least one tweel for chapter 10. but I was NOT expecting it so soon! both of 'em! in August! a shame we're not getting a Coral Sea event after all...but I guess I can be resigned to that and ALSO excited for getting shiny sparkly glowing(!!!!) mertwins along with Azul fighting his inner demons and going right for the eyes! AHHHH I CAN'T WAIT
(also heeeey I recognize that rowboat... 👀)
#art#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 10 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 10 spoilers#omg they're real#hey twst as long as you're pandering directly to me#che'nya card for riddle's chapter??????#it's not going to happen. but. WHAT IF#anyway i suppose they could get this one out a bit faster since the tweel sprites already exist#let's hope for a non-ob octozul cameo too! 🤞#as much as i want to see him though i do think it would be extremely funny if his dream were just#everything's the same in the coral sea except he's in human form the entire time#no real reason he just feels like it#chapter 10 though! the hype!#floyd is one of the characters i can't even begin to imagine what his dream might be#(the other one is ace) (i got a couple theories for him but floyd i just have NO idea)#i know it might just be for the diptych but i am VERY intrigued by the implication that the twins might be having the same dream#they're both dreaming about the time they teamed up to ruin some couple's cute rowboat date#and you know what. i believe it.
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"Nora doesn't know anything about the things she writes about" "aftg is terrible queer rep" "the queer characters in aftg are so problematic"
Idk guys maybe the book series abt problematic ppl set in 2006 and written in the mid 2010s shouldn't be expected to hold up against scrutiny of what we consider to be moral and correct now, in 2024
Idk tho, idk
#“nicky is a terrible person” bitch he not supposed to be some kind of perfect angel is he????#sry to burst ur bubble but gay men are actually capable of being horrible people just as much as straight men#“death of the author” how abt death of you#instigated by me#nora sakavic#aftg#all for the game#aftg hot takes#nicky hemmick#andrew minyard#kevin day#neil josten#nora knew exactly what she was doing and i will die on this hill#i am so so sick and tired of peoe acting like shes some sort of incompetent idiot who barely scraped together a plot#you do not have to stay in the fandom if you don't actually like the media#you can leave i promise#we dont really want you here
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It was a kiss between a man and his wife, and when it was over, the king closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the hollow of the queen’s shoulder, like a man seeking respite, like a man reaching home at the end of the day.
hi, i'm very cool and normal about these books, don't worry about me
on ao3 here
#WinASignedSetofTheQueensThief2024#the queen's thief#queen's thief#king of attolia#my art#i maked this#costis ormentiedes#eugenides#attolia irene#the extremely cool and normal kiss scene#which i am very cool and normal about#i didn't read the Queen's Thief novels long enough ago to do a redraw but#i seem to have fallen so deep into these books that i don't think i'm clawing my up any time soon.#i mean????? look at them. what am i supposed to do#be normal about this??#unlikely#hamiathes's gift exchange#meme redraw
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