#well—buck has apparently only pictures of him eddie and chris | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cal-daisies-and-briars · 2 months ago

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His sister, Maddie. Who is crashing at his apartment until she can find her own place. After a hell of a lot of convincing to stay in L.A. in the first place, instead of continuing to run.

It is because of the return of Maddie and Carla in his life, that the library, for Buck, starts blending between personal and professional again. After everything with Abby, Buck had said not again. Work is work. Life is life. He thought it was a sign of long-awaited maturity that he figured out then two necessitated separation.

That has lasted four months.

Four months, and apparently all the lines are blurred again. Not that he’s dating a coworker again. The new head librarian, Janine, is happily married with twins. So no risk of that. But, with Carla there at least once a week, and Maddie showing up most days for lunch or just company while she hunts for a job, there are fewer easy distinctions between work and personal life.

Somehow - not the kid’s fault - Christopher Diaz only makes that more complicated.

The thing is, Chris quickly becomes Buck’s favorite kid. It’s actually a little startling how quickly it happens.

It’s not that the other kids aren’t great. Well, some of them could use some more structure and manners. Not the point. The point is that there’s something special about Christopher, and Buck notices it right away. How could he not? It isn’t because Christopher is the strongest reader, either. He’s pretty on-par for his age. He needs more encouragement than some of the other kids when it comes to reading out loud. Sometimes he struggles with enunciation. But he’s got this resilient, tough little spirit when it comes to everything. He’s cheerful and funny. He always tries to do things for himself. He can tease Buck and take as good as he gives. He’s a joy to be around. Buck looks forward to the days where he knows Christopher will be in for programming.

On one of those days - today - Maddie is here. She’s sitting in a chair in a communal study area across the floor while Buck does programming with the kids. Today is quiet reading. They’re doing a read-a-thon. Every kid that can read twenty books in October gets a Halloween-themed prize. Pretty kitschy, but it gets the kids reading, and that’s what matters. Buck is mostly supervising, helping with questions and word definitions, and assisting with the kids filling out their readathon sheets. It’s an easy afternoon.

He’s actually helping Christopher notate the title and author of his most recent read - a little picture book about a firefighter team comprised of ducks, which Chris loves for obvious reasons - when Eddie walks into the library with another man Buck has never seen. Although he doesn’t recognize him, he has a guess of who this must be. See, Buck has been hearing all afternoon about how Chris is going to a baseball game tonight with his dad and his dad’s friend from work, Chimney. Christopher swears his name is actually Chimney, but Buck thinks he must be mistaken. Maybe it’s Jimmy? Or something not English neither of them is familiar with? Buck isn’t sure.

“Oh, look who’s here,” Buck says quietly to Chris, drawing his attention away from the paper. “Looks like it’s time for baseball.”

Chris looks up in the direction his father is coming from and lights up. He almost calls out loudly for Eddie but then remembers where he is. They’ve had that chat once or twice. Chris stands up, grabs his crutches, and hurries in Eddie and maybe-Chimney’s direction. Buck smiles and starts to pack up some of Christopher’s stuff for him.

At the same time as Chris hurries over to his dad, Maddie approaches Buck with what looks like a question on her lips. Christopher nearly bumps right into her in his excited beeline towards Eddie.

“Careful, Chris!” Eddie calls out.

“Sorry, Maddie,” Chris says.

They’ve met a few times now. Usually when Maddie stops by to join Buck for dinner after his shift, and it overlaps with Carla picking Chris up. Chris thinks it’s pretty cool that Buck has a big sister, and Buck has to agree. She’s pretty cool.

“That’s okay, Chris,” Maddie smiles. “Have fun at the baseball game tonight.”

“Thanks, Maddie!” Chris beams. Then, he looks at Eddie. “Dad! This is Buck’s sister.”

“No way,” Eddie smiles, indulging him. “That’s pretty cool.”

Eddie introduces himself and Chimney - who indeed is called Chimney, for some reason - to Maddie. The three of them chat for a minute, while Buck continues to watch the other kids. Then, with a wave to Buck, Eddie and his friend leave.

“He was so cute,” Maddie says later, as Buck is closing the library.

“Eddie?” Buck asks. “Yeah, I’m sure he must get that a lot.”

“No, Chimney,” Maddie replies.

And that’s where things get complicated.

iv.

The next time Eddie picks up Christopher himself, he has sort of a sheepish look on his face when he approaches Buck at the front desk.

“Hmm,” Buck says aloud, noticing his apprehension. “No overdue fines. No kid with bad behavior.”

“What?” Eddie asks, frowning.

“Trying to figure out why you look guilty,” Buck says. “You accidentally destroy one of the books?”

Eddie scoffs. “You assume it would be me, not the seven year-old?”

“Yeah,” Buck nods. “Chris respects the books. I’ve seen him read. Never seen you read though.”

Eddie chuckles. Which is what Buck wanted. For him to look a little less serious.

“I have a weird question,” Eddie admits. “An awkward one.”

“Uh, okay?” Buck replies. “Hit me with it.”

“Can I have your sister’s phone number?”

Buck’s mouth parts in surprise. He feels a knot of disappointment and frustration tangle in his stomach. Like, no. Eddie shouldn’t be asking him that. Eddie shouldn’t. No. He’s not sure why he feels so strongly about this. Well, okay. Maybe he does. Maddie is just getting out of an abusive relationship. Buck’s her brother. Of course, he’s just being protective. Very, very protective.

“My coworker, Chimney, who met her the other night?” Eddie continues. “He’s, like, completely smitten.”

Oh. Oh. Buck relaxes. It’s just the other guy.

“Uh, yeah. Maddie thought he was cute, too,” Buck admits. “Let me just text her and ask her if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” Eddie exhales, relieved. “Thank you. I promise he’s a normal, good guy.”

Well… Maddie needs one of those.

“Yeah, no worries. I trust you.” Buck replies. “Or, I trust Chris anyway. And he gave a good review.”

Eddie smiles at him. Buck forgets to think about why he is okay with Chimney getting Maddie’s number, and not Eddie.

A few seconds later, Maddie texts back an enthusiastic yes.

The rest of the year goes nicely for Buck.

Things at the library are going well. He helps several kids move up a reading level. Including Christopher. Though he’s pretty sure Eddie and Carla are a bigger part of that.

Maddie and Chim start dating. He helps her find a job at the 9-1-1 Dispatch Center. Firefighter connection perks. She likes it. It reminds her enough of her work as a nurse, without putting her in the public eye. Buck is happy for them. He likes Chimney. Whose name is really Howard. Buck cannot repeat the origins of the nickname anywhere near the library.

Buck can’t say he has the same success in the dating pool. He has a brief fling with a reporter he meets at a hook and ladder bar Maddie and Chimney bring him to, but that’s about it. Taylor. She’s gorgeous. She’s mean. She doesn’t really have time for him. He’s very into her. But he doesn’t think it’ll go very far.

#daisies and briars writes

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imtheiliad · 2 years ago

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BUT YOU DREAM SOME EPIPHANY [1.6k | coma dream | pre-relationship/platonic] {ao3}

a/n: all i have to say for myself is that i wrote the foundation of this in a fugue state on the bus home from work the other day (not when i was stuck for 4 hours) and it is in general not the coma dream fic that anybody wants it to be i don't think lol. so no screaming at me for it cause i did warn you, well there is one moment that e expect screaming about. and the title is from epiphany by taylor swift but only cause it had the word dream and epiphany in it which is related. spoilers for 6x10 and 11 i guess? i no longer never say never for spec fic, but this is highly unlikely. enjoy!

There are moments in life when things slow down. when you can know what’s going to happen as you watch in slow motion. Sometimes it’s happening to you. and sometimes to others. The nature of being a firefighter is you see those moments a lot. Both versions. and Buck had his fair share of them. That's what takes him by surprise, because one moment he’s in his turnouts under pouring skies, and the next he’s in a kitchen. And it’s warm, there are flowers on the table, curtains with dainty flowers on them. But something feels off. He's wearing a thick green sweater and a button up and some khakis. No shoes since he’s in the house. He misses his jeans and sweatshirts. He tentatively takes a step, peering out the window. Outside there is a literal white picket fence with a manicured lawn and a few planter boxes filled with blooming flowers. He looks further up to the sidewalk. Maddie had taken him here once.

— His mother is in the kitchen with him now, she looks the same. Unloading bags of groceries, setting aside a few things that looked like they could be ingredients for a meal. There’s another man, sitting at the table, he has dirty blonde hair that slightly curls at the edges, bright blue eyes, and a sharp jawline.

“You know, you should think about selling that car yours before the wedding, Evan. Trade it in for something more sensible.”

“Mom-“ the other man says.

And a strike of recognition sparks as he looks at the man again. He’s looking at Daniel— he bears a striking resemblance to himself. Honestly could be twins if he didn’t have those few years on Buck.

“It really is a shame Ali couldn’t make it this trip, we were so looking forward to getting some details ironed out,” his Mother continues on– still the bubbly optimist Buck thinks sarcastically.

So he’s marrying Ali in this upside down world.

“Yeah, she’s uh sorry she couldn’t make it— you know how her schedule is,” he chokes out remembering Ali's travels involved in her work. —

His fingers twitch, itching to find out what Eddie's doing in this one. And maybe run to him. He misses everyone.

Something tells him to open his phone and navigate to Facebook of all places and enter “Eddie Diaz” in the search bar. The profile is pretty much devoid of activity. There’s a profile picture, something unsettling about it but Buck can’t put his finger on it. He scrolls through his friends and reluctantly clicks Helena's name.

The page is a shrine to her grandson. He scrolls, the feed highlighting one comment from Eddie on a recent picture. Eddie Diaz He’s gotten so big. Tell him happy birthday for me.

It’s like a stab to his stomach. Gotten so big, as if he hadn’t seen him row in front of his eyes. Tell him, like he wasn’t there. The realization hits him and it settles in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't there. Eddie wasn't there with Chris.

He swipes over to his own profile, the most recent post a picture of him and Ali— her hair in a half updo cradling the side of his face, a delicate ring on her finger. There are comments and likes from hundreds of people— none of whom he recognizes.

Apparently they live in Denver of all places. Where he is a teacher, for what seems to be young kids. That’s something that warms his heart. At least he wasn’t an insurance adjuster or something absolutely soul sucking. Also teaching comes with clipboards.

— Maddie walks in the door, still in her scrubs. And he hadn’t realized he had been so worried about her until he scanned every inch of her for anything— finding nothing he wraps her in a tight hug holding back tears. At least one of them escaped something in this life.

“Sorry I missed dinner, shift was nuts!” She sighs, dramatically flopping onto the couch.

And he can’t stop looking at her.

“Mom and Dad already in bed?”

He just nods, pouring her a glass of wine.

“Danny being the goody two shoes he is and cleaning the kitchen?”

He laughs and nods again.

“Okay so, tell me the story again. I need to know every detail of how my little brother got someone to marry him before I could be in a stable relationship for more than a month or two.” she takes a long sip, “I mean I’m hopeful with Eddie but he’s also dealing with a lot.”

Buck nearly chokes on his beer, because she couldn’t mean– there was no way. But something in his heart twinges, telling him that this universe was cruel and unusual. And that thought should be entertained as the truth.

And because he’s supposes he’s a masochist, he replies, “Well, I think that warrants you telling me more about him than me, a story I will probably tell over and over again until I die.”

Maddie shoots him a glare.

“Yeah Maddie, will we be meeting this Eddie anytime soon?” Daniel asks with a glint in his smile.

“If he lasts until the engagement party,”she points a finger at Buck, “I will bring him. We could do a whole road trip and meet his family down in Texas too.”

“Wow, quite the test of the relationship.”

If he has to “meet” Eddie at his engagement party Buck might throw up. —

“Buck, you have to find home,” Daniel says.

“I- what? I guess Ali and I-“ he sputters trying to come up with something to say.

“No, Buck. You don’t see it?”

“No, I–”

“You��re telling me all of this makes sense to you? That I'm alive? That you’re engaged to Ali? That Maddie and Eddie are a couple? That he left Chris?”

“How did-?”

“Buck-“

“I am the only person he told about how–” he takes a beat as something pulls in his chest, “This isn’t real.”

Daniel shakes his head.

“I need to- Oh God I gotta- Fuck. How do I-“ he looks toward the door, and leaps for it. The handle doesn’t budge, “How do I get out of here?” he practically begs Daniel.

“I don’t know, I’m just a projection of you. What you think I may have been.”

“But you–”

“Just the messenger. You thought of that.”

–- He looks down and his clothes have changed, a clean starched button up and slacks. The house is lit in soft warm light, sparkling decorations laid out on the table, poised and ready. Several plastic champagne glasses waiting to be filled rest on the dining room table.

He finds his way back to the kitchen where he finds Maddie, she’s sitting at the table carefully arranging some paper flowers into a bouquet.

“Can’t believe you actually caved and let Mom have the party here.”

“It was either this or the Wedding and there is no way that’s happening, so we made a compromise,” he replies concocting the believable line from thin air.

She hums.

“I guess that ruins your big road trip with Eddie though?”

“Yeah, he’ll be here soon. His shift ran a little over.”

Oh, so this was happening.

His stomach churns. He knows this is all a concoction of his subconscious mind, but the mere idea that he doesn’t know Eddie. It was the weirdest combination of a dream and a nightmare, and it all felt so real.

He’s pulled from the reverie by the doorbell sounding throughout his ears. And a familiar warm honey voice drifts throughout the house and there’s a tug at his heart.

Maddie perks up at the sound the same as Buck.

He can’t bear to follow her out the kitchen door.

“Hey there, my Buckette.”

He seriously wants to throw up. This was the worst timeline even if it was a fabrication.

“C’mon help me out with a project in the kitchen.”

Buck braces himself, and he watches in slow motion as they walk in, hand in hand.

He finally takes Eddie in, he mostly looks the same, still with kind eyes but missing a spark and warmth. Wearing a soft henley and jeans, he looks out of place from the rest of the house that’s clearly decked out for a cocktail party.

Their eyes meet and it’s the only thing that’s made even the slightest bit of sense the entire time he’s been here. He still wants to throw up though.

“Eddie, this is my brother, the groom himself.”

“Hey, so you are the famous Evan then,” Eddie replies, holding out his hand.

The name sounds strange from his lips. Stilted and sharp, with a cold unfamiliarity, coming from a place of unknowing rather than place of care.

Buck hates it.

He doesn’t know how to speak anymore. So he reaches and takes Eddie’s hand.

And it’s like a bolt of lightning coursing through him, wrapping around his hand and weaving up his arm– and there’s air in his lungs and his eyes snap open.

The warmth around his hand is still there, and it’s tighter. He grabs back with as much strength as he has. And he finds those eyes again. And they are warm and kind, with that light shining and burning behind them.

He can’t speak. Can’t scream. So he just lets the tears pool and fall.

“Hey, you’re okay,” his voice is fragile in a way that Buck has never heard before. And it sounds like he’s saying it for himself more than for Buck.

Moments later they are no longer alone, but their gaze is fixed across the room.

Find your home. Oh.

#911 #911 fic #evan buckley #buddie #aj writes stuff #usermoonlight #userbuckleyhans #tuserksn #tusercourty #userceecee #useroliii #useryb #userweres

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spotsandsocks · 2 years ago

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Home Wanted 6K Rating G/T

Written for @ronordmann reverse prompt challenge stage four. Thank you Ro for inspiring me and love love love the cover art,

Milestone prompt and I chose married Buddie getting a pet. Thought it would be a silly fun fic when I started but it turned into something that touches a bit more on Buck’s issues about being Christopher’s dad, where he fits and how Eddie sees all that and finds a way to make it better. As always with me we end up with soft and fluffy family feels by the end.

“Christopher! Come on! Bucks waiting.”

Eddie turns to Buck who's not exactly ready himself, he’s trying to find the right jacket to go with his outfit from the extensive selection in front of him, so he’s talking to the back of his head, “You’re sure you're ok to do this? I can take him later.”

Buck finally decides on the right look and slips his chosen jacket on leaning forward as he does to kiss Eddie’s cheek, “no babe it’s fine, I said I’d take him to get that new book today and it’s on the way so we can do both, save you a trip.”

“Ok, and you know what you're getting?” Eddie trusts them, he does, but he feels, the need to check anyway, just in case. They do have a history of going off track while on errands.

Buck rolls his eyes affectionately and affects a long suffering tone, “Yes, I’ve been told exactly what we need by both you and Christopher.” Buck’s grin is directed over his shoulder so Eddie knows Chris must have finally turned up, apparently teenagers don’t hurry.

Buck reaches out and grabs Chris’ jacket and hands it over and Eddie takes in the sight of his husband and child. He loves them unconditionally, that goes without saying but he can’t shake the feeling there’s trouble brewing on this trip.

“Ok,well don’t get distracted” he warns, trying to keep the frown off his face. The comment is mostly directed at the older Buckley-Diaz but he includes Chris for good measure, he’s probably the one that’ll be distracting Buck after all. “I know what you’re both like and… ” Eddie narrows his eyes, first looking at his son then over at Buck but it’s Buck he’s talking to when he says, “don’t let this one con you into getting anything we don’t need.”

“Dad!” Chris protests, the picture of innocence “I wouldn’t do that!”

“Yeah Eds he wouldn’t do that” Buck winks at Chris and Eddie lifts his eyebrow and hums suspiciously at the pair of them.

Buck chuckles and steps forward and suddenly there a hand sneaking around his waist and he’s pulled in close for another kiss, this time soft and gentle on his lips, and that’s something that would distract him if it wasn’t for Chris’ presence and his suitably grossed out voice in the background. Eddie just knows his face matches his tone.

“Ew, please! Aren’t we meant to be going somewhere?”

Eddie smiles against Buck’s lips, he’ll remember this trick for when he wants to get Chris moving next time.

Buck lets him go and he takes a moment to look into the blue eyes he loves so much, he’s just so ridiculously in love with the man, you’d think a few years together would have reduced the effect of Buck’s face, eyes, smile, kiss but no, he’s still a lost cause, in fact some days he thinks he loves him more than ever.

Under Eddie’s gaze, Buck gets a look on his face, soft and warm and he tilts his head, reading his husband’s expression and thoughts perfectly, his eyes crinkle up as he smiles and then Eddie gets another soft little kiss on the tip of his nose and he swears he melts a little and has to fight the urge to sway closer, he’s only a few years off 40 for god's sake not a love sick teenager.

Buck bites back his grin then mouths “love you too.” Then he turns and looks at Christopher who’s standing there impatiently. Eddie looks too and finds his son looking extremely unimpressed by the sappy behavior of his parents.

“Can we go now?” Christopher says in a delightful display of irony.

“Oh course” Buck replies straight faced, “so sorry to keep you waiting.”

Chris chooses not to reply but his eyebrow twitches in a way Eddie recognises from the mirror.

This time Buck’s wink is for Eddie “See you later sweetheart.”

A few hours later Chris has his book, and a second one and Buck has two new autobiograpies he didn’t know he wanted till he saw them on the shelf. They’ve reached the second stage of their mission; to find a suitable gift for Gabrielle’s rabbit because ‘something fun for Blackberry’ is apparently what Chris’ friend wants for her birthday present.

Entering the pet store that also acts as an animal rescue shelter Buck’s not entirely sure what kind of things you can buy a rabbit. He’s soon filling in this hole in his education as he browses the aisle of rabbit associated accessories he never knew existed when he realises Chris has wandered off. A moment of panic hits him then he spots his curly head over by a sign that says ‘Homes wanted’

He heads over.

“Hey buddy, don’t wander off on me, I was worried.”

Chris half turns “Sorry Buck but look.”

They look together through the glass window at where Chris is pointing. Chris tears his eyes away and looks up and Buck knows he’s in trouble.

“She’s called Jupiter. Isn’t she cute.” It’s not a question.

He can see the future flying at him fast, he tries to head it off.

“Sure, she’s she’s real cute Chris but…”

Chris, a master at his craft interrupts quickly. “She needs a home Buck, it says so.”

He looks to where Chris points, it’s a small sign next to the enclosure and it does indeed say Home Wanted in large capital letters.

“Chris” he tries to add a warning note to his voice, aiming for something both parental and stern, Eddie’s excellent at this voice, him not so much, his eyes stray back to Jupiter’s twitching nose and whiskers. She is cute.

Christopher sensing weakness, keeps going.

“The sign says she got hurt, that’s why she has a limp.

Oh no, Buck thinks, she has a limp. He looks again, and yes the little creature does indeed have a slight limp when she moves.

A voice comes from beside him says.

“Dad said I could have a pet.”

He’s already shaking his head but Christopher strides forward with his arguments.

“The sign says they’ve been here for months, homeless Buck, homeless! Nobody wants her. She's so small and cute. Why wouldn’t anyone want her?”

The last sentence sounds sad and confused. Chris looks at him expecting an answer and Buck wishes very much Eddie was here. He’s not sure he’s up to this double challenge of saying no to the obvious request coming his way or explaining why Jupiter is homeless. He tries anyway.

“Well not everyone can look after pets Chris, even if they want to try.”

“Is it because of her leg?” His eyes go wide “or did her leg get hurt because they didn’t look after her right?”

Chris looks back at Jupiter and reaches out to gently place his fingers against the glass, and as if she can tell she’s got an advocate there’s suddenly little paws and a nose pressed against the glass where Chris’ fingers rest.

Buck looks at that and his heart sinks. He strongly suspects Jupiter knows what she’s doing.

“Look! She likes us!” Christopher sounds delighted, he pauses thoughtfully.

“I’d be good at looking after her,” and after that leading statement Chris looks him dead in the eye and waits.

“Chris.” That really doesn’t sound like Eddie being firm, that sounded like a man falling at the first hurdle.

“Dad said I could have a pet.” Christopher repeats his previous claim.

“I think your dad meant when he was with you.”

“But you're with me Buck, isn’t that the same thing?”

For a brief second Buck suspects Chris is playing him but the look on his face is open and genuine, he can tell Chris means that, he really does and Buck’s heart swells. He loves this boy so much, counts his blessings every day that Eddie and Christopher came into his life. That he gets to think of Christopher as his son and that Chris sees him as a parent. That he’s part of Eddie’s family.

And families do have pets.

And Eddie did say he thought Chris was ready for a pet, he was there for the conversation.

Chris is still looking at him. Waiting, all big hopeful eyes. He feels a little helpless, but he can’t let himself get carried away. He had to be sensible.

Chris is right though, Eddie did say. They made a list and everything. Jupiter scratches at the glass. Shit. He can’t walk away and break two little hearts.

He gets out his phone and calls his husband, prepared to plead Christopher and Jupiter’s case, maybe he can persuade him, maybe he won’t need persuading.

He keeps looking at Jupiter as Eddie’s phone rings out. She may not be quite what Eddie expected from their trip out today.

A second failed attempt to get hold of his husband means he’s on his own.

Chris is waiting. Jupiter’s waiting. Shit shit shit.

continue on AO3

#911 fox #buddie #911fic #911 on fox #911 fic #evan buck buckley #christopher diaz #christopher diaz has two dads #spotty scribbles #eddie x buck #Buck x Eddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #reverse challenge prompt #reversepromptchallenge #buddie fics #buddie fanfic

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elgascreamslikehell · 1 year ago

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So here we are

Rating g?(I'm old deal with it)

Words 3804

Remarks: I'm more depressed than they are and my autistic ass gets a hyper fixation on them anyway. And yes my sarcasm is unstoppable sorry@notsorry

Eddie is so tired of Buckley lately.

Eddie is so tired when he even sees Buck's face. With all this mimics and unreadable signs. Or there's no signs at all, it's only Eddie's mind games. Most probably it is. Buckley just makes him feel... Feelings.

Eddie doesn't like it. He doesn't like feelings. He prefers not to feel them. He just can't. Evan is everywhere!

He goes to work - there's Evan, he comes home - Evan. He could even enjoy it, apparently, if not for one thing. He feels something to Evan he definitely should not.

It shouldn't be so much of surprise but here he is. He has his toothbrush in Eddie's bathroom, his towel, his drawer with clothes and some stuff. God, most of Eddie's kitchen belongs to Buck! His son belongs to Buck. Legally.

They are best friends. You can't possibly want to kiss your friend. Or worse. It's not fine!

And still he wants. He wants Buck to be... His. That's selfish, no doubt, but he never says he's an angel. So he wants Buck to be his Buck. For real.

They have right now some really twisted friendship to be fair. Ersatz-family. They basically live together, eat together, spend most of the time together. But then Buck says 'It was nice, see you!' and flees away when Eddie wants him to stay. Like forever.

It's fucking scary to be honest. Cause neither Ana nor Marisol never felt that way. It was fun, of course, but... Eddie was fine with them leaving. Actually he was usually quite glad they left.

He is never glad Buckley leaves. Cause he feels it. Eddie hates to feel. And really, even his home is not much of a home when Buck isn't there.

Oh, yes. He fucked up.

***

Anyway their shifts matches most of the time, apparently Bobby sees them as a perfect team somehow, maybe because they share one braincell. And that's definitely Bucks braincell, Eddie just looses it near Evan every time, it's a fortune he can pretend. And a torture at the same time.

And that's exactly explain how they even end up in this situation, tied to each other and standing on the unsafe surface.

"Listen, Edds, I thought..."

Ground starts to shake a little. There was not earthquake warning but still

"Guys, can you please hurry up, it looks dangerous!"

***

When ground under their feet starts to crumble Eddie should decide one thing. Very fast. Like he is back to army. He hates it. Basically because it's so strange - and a little creepy - to answer this kind of question instantly in your head.

If something go wrong who is more expendable? Like now?

That's not really a question - Eddie answered it long time ago.

And it's not Buck.

Never him.

In any case, Diaz could not take another time seeing Buck dead, thank you very much. It still haunts him.

Every time Buckley runs into danger - Eddie freezes. Cause he has a bold picture in his eyes of dead Evan Buckley under the pouring rain.

But if he really needs to explain. How many people would be hurt in this hypothetical situation one of them died? Eddie's list is first. He has Chris.

Well, it's not a long list to be honest.

And here we have Buck's list.

From the top of his head it would be Maddie, Bobby, Athena, Jee Yun, Chris... And Eddie himself, last but not least.

He might be not so good at math as Buckley but that he gets.

Problem solved!

He cuts his safety rope before Buck even tries to say a word and slides down to the abyss seeing how the way is crushed leaving Buck on the other side.

Well, it is not really abyss, of course. Just old water collector. Not a big difference right now.

"Diaz, report! We're coming back for you, only need to reassure this thing won't demolish!"

He stands up. Ok, he's alive. A little confused - looks like a mild concussion, never killed anyone - so basically fine. Only one thing. That's a water collector. Filling up with water fast.

"I'm fine. Little concussion, bruise on the shoulder, it's nothing. Is there any rain?"

"Not here but according to the forecast it's heavy rainfall up the hill, and i suppose you're okay if you asks about the weather"

Well yes but actually no, how to bring it up.

"It could become a problem here.."

His speech is breaking a little

"I ...want to have a confession."

"Maybe you can wait till we get you out? And then you can confess anything. Right after you give me a valid excuse why the heck did you cut your safety rope AGAIN."

Well, it's possible that he has some... Issues. Or just hates harnesses of any kind!

"Bobby.... It's a water collector. It takes, as i can recall, ten to twelve minutes to fill up completely. There's a strong chance you ...don't get me. You know that, i know that. Let's be ....honest."

"Don't you dare, Diaz!"

He can't help but laughs. Oh, captain, you have no idea what he dares now

"It's... fine. I'm an irresponsible ....idiot.... anyway... How's Buck?"

"I'm fine. We're coming for you!"

That's a shame he hears it. So, Edds, you are an idiot in the end.

"Yes, ...okay... Fine"

He tries so hard to his voice sounds normal. More normal then before. It is one thing that Bobby hears him. Or Chim. Or Hen. Or Ravi. Actually anyone but Buck. He is a whole different story, but here we are.

So breath in. Breath out. It's fine till you can still keep yourself together.

"Eddie, talk! Stay on the line."

"Yes...sir"

It's like a nightmare to be fair. Well 2.0. But this time there's no way out.

"Report, Eddie. Just talk to me. We need you to stay awake"

He doesn't want to. It's cold and there's water everywhere. Surprisingly, water. In the water collector. And he definitely has a not-so-mild concussion. And he will die here.

"Eddie!"

This voice again. Doesn't Buck know how hard is to listen him? And feel so much!

"I'm still...here. Just... I really need to rest...a little..."

"The hell no! Talk to me, Edds!"

He sighnes. If he maybe find a spot to rest just a little bit he can proceed searching for an exit. Cause there should be one. Otherwise it's...

"It's... like a grave. But I'm fine. Just needed a moment. I'm here.. When i stuck in the well i wasn't sure I'll survive but somehow i did, so... Sometimes i regret it..."

"Say what now?!"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

Acting - A+. Take a cookie.

"There should be a hole in the ceiling... kinda. The one i fell down. It's not that high but... I'm not sure i can reach it"

Mostly because he is sure he can't. It's just a play, cause it is highly likely they can't find him in time. And then they hear him literally dying. It's bad. Bobby doesn't deserve it. Buck... Buck just should not hear it at all costs.

"We dismantled the first heap. We're coming for you. Do you copy?"

"Yes..."

He is just tired. So, - and it is totally not okay - , it would be a relief. To not have to deal with... everything.

"You know, Edds, there's a new exotic creatures exhibition. We need to go. Chris would love it!"

Oh fuck. He's so irresponsible idiot in the end, and terrible, horrible father.

"Of course... Buck. But... if anything happens... You do take Chris there anyway!"

"Nothing's gonna happen. We're close"

He is close too. Buck once said that he should not be pretending around him, yet he never said that about others. That's nice. But there's no more pretending here. The water is literally up to his mouth. That's funny how fast this old thing could fill up.

"Good... i still need to... confess...."

He exhales loudly. It is really hard to breathe right now. And he definitely needs to rest.

There's a break in a line or he somehow managed to pass out for a second. Waking up to his radio screaming

"Eddie!! Talk to me!!"

He just can't

"I... Here's... here's a thing... I...lied... I'm an awful...friend ..."

He slips down the wall and cold water wakes him up a little

"No you're not! You're my best friend, come on! We're close. I'm close!"

And yet he is an awful friend who just takes Evan Buckley for granted. No reason. Anytime he needs it - Buck's there. Nice epiphany, nice timing. So nice. If he were Buck he would hate himself. Like Eddie-self, hell that's hard.

If he can say it right now? In all that crappy movies Buck likes there's always a person who confesses on the death bed. For like half an hour straight. Really cheesy, really unrealistic. Eddie'd like to have so much time and strength but he apparently has not.

"I'm... glad...to hear... that. You... think...so...but... I'm not. I'm...i just need...to rest... For a... moment "

It's harder to proceed talking. Or keep himself above the water.

"No! Please, go on, talk, for fuck sake, Edds!"

He tries. He really does. He just closes his eyes but it's fine. It would be fine.

"Chris won't... won't be... alone. It...was..nice...to know you... guys. Like a family... really "

He hears Buck swears furiously. And...it sounds like stones are trembling around.

"There's some problem but we're coming, Diaz. Stay with us!"

"Yep. You're not gonna die there, not on my watch!"

Interesting, what that's supposed to mean, Evan.

Bobby is mad at him. Why, exactly? They are all mad at him. Not the perfect decision for them to be fair. Kinda hurt. He saved the day. If he would not have cut his rope there would be two of them drowning. Bobby won't be glad, he was devastated last time Buck was in trouble. So Edds's kinda hero actually. Again. Might get another medal. Would be fun.

"Buck...i... I need you..to know..."

"I don't want to! Don't do this! We'll talk when you're here, Eddie, just hold on! Please!"

Interesting...if Buck also feel something now? Like... A pity? Cause hell Eddie's pathetic now.

"That's... Kinda become now or.. never... moment.. you have...you have to know..."

He's panting and they hear it, definitely. And Buck hears it too. Hell he is pathetic.

"I'm... desperately guilty before.. before you Evan... I'm... I'm sorry... and... i...."

He tried to turn off the radio but can't keep it in his hands. Device touches the cold water surface same second Eddie's head slide under it. Radio chokes on screaming.

"Eddie. Eddie! Diaz! Report! Diaz!"

Silence.

***

"He can drown there, speed up!"

"Buck, easy, you're gonna hurt yourself"

Da fuck he is.

"He's there, Bobby, and his son is waiting for him home and I'm interested how would you possibly explain it to Chris if Eddie's not coming back? So let me go there! Give me the god damn rope! Eddie! Edds I'm coming down, don't you dare die there! You owe me an explanation!"

Bobby exhales. Yes, explaining that to Chris would be a nightmare. But the worst nightmare would be seeing Buck. Every day. With these eyes full of pain and something else he doesn't want to know. Buck's so obvious now.

***

Cold water is actually more refreshing then he could even imagine. Or it's the legendary 'second breath' or he just so humiliated by now that even dying would be too good - Eddie is not sure. There's still not enough oxygen to breathe normally but who cares. He can't just die here making Buck hear it.

Radio is obviously dead but he is obviously not. And he definitely hears screams.

"Eddie! For fuck sake where are you?! I'm coming!"

He even see the light. And surprisingly not that light like afterlife, it's a flashlight

"Here... I'm still here!"

It's all messed up in his head and he watches it from aside. Buck buckle him up to the rope, pulling out from the water, dragging him to the fresh air and putting on the mask.

It's overwhelming, too much - Eddie coughs profusely. And Buckley is obviously teared up.

"Hey Eddie. It was close. You should not do that kind of stuff. You have the order, you execute it, no messing around!"

"Cut it, Bobby. Give him some time! We're heading to the ER"

Eddie takes off his oxygen mask

"Thanks. I was pretty sure I'll die there this time"

And that somehow drives Evan insane

"I KNOW! I HEAR IT ALL ALONG, YOU JUST TALKING NONSENSE AND PANTING AND THEN YOU FELL SILENT I THOUGHT MY HEART IS GONNA COLLAPSE! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU DO THIS?!"

Is it normal that Eddie's somehow flattered by this? He sure knows Buckley was worried but not like that?

"Sorry? I can.. explain. Just need to rest for a moment."

He feels dizzy. And yet he is kinda calm slipping off, away from feelings.

"Eddie?!"

***

"He needs some rest. We discharge him tomorrow, for now he's just staying here for observation. And then he can go home and proceed resting"

"Thanks, doc. Give me a call when we can take him home"

"No. I'll take him. Anyway I'll be with Chris. Oh, and now you wake up. Don't you maybe wanna talk?!"

Buck is mad as hell. Actually Eddie is not sure he ever saw Buck that mad.

"No? I'm fine, thanks"

"Diaz. You are so troubled we definitely need to discuss your behaviour, i thought i have only one child in the team. Apparently i was wrong. But it can wait. Get better."

Okay, Bobby is also mad. Da fuck are they all mad? Nobody died! It would be so much easier.

Bobby left the room, leaving this two alone.

"I'm gonna go home, Chris must be worried as hell. Give me a call when they push you out, you still owe me an explanation."

And then he just go away. Like so.

Eddie is a mess. So much feelings he just can't process right now. Does Evan even think when he speaks? He goes home. But it should be Eddie's home? Maybe it is just short way to call it? Man how did he get here. He was married! He dated girls. Ana. And this... God, how come he forgets her name every time.

Buck also had girlfriends. It didn't go well, but still.

And does he actually need to explain himself? Fuck this.

***

Of course they discharge him unexpectedly. Well, or he just convinced them that he is totally fine. Who cares. Of course he decided not to call anyone. Of course he's now standing in front of his own house and of course he is clearly afraid to come in. What the actual hell. It's his house!

It's quite, as expected. It's six in the morning. Chris should be sleeping. Eddie, trying to be as quiet as he can, rushes to kid's room. Yes. He's sleeping. Eddie kisses him on the forehead. Man, he was ready to leave him.

Ok, but where's Buck? Did he return to the loft? Eddie should maybe send him a message. He's gonna do it, just after he takes a shower.

Or not. That's a surprise.

Buck's here. In Eddie's bed to be specific. And he is awake, curled up on Eddie's pillow and silently sobbing.

"Erm.. good morning?"

Ok, now he is unexpected guest in his own house, judging by Evan's reaction.

"What the hell are you doing here? You should be in hospital!"

"You'll be surprised. But i live here. Surprise."

If this isn't the first time - that's probably why his bedsheets sometimes smell like Buck. Not that he's complaining, just observation.

"I know. I mean... You know what i mean!"

Observation two. Buck is somehow still mad.

"Not really, but let's leave it aside. If you're asking how did i get here - i took an uber. And i didn't want to wake you up, sleep. I just take my towel"

"And then you'll be back here."

No, he's not

"I'm well rested, so no, i don't want to bother your sleep. And i still have a couch if i need, you know?"

He's lying again. He lives the life full of lies.

"It wasn't a question if you missed it."

Buck is mad mad, it's so not him it is scary.

"Okay. Buck... Did you cry?"

"Doesn't matter! Just take a shower already!"

Well that was the fastest shower he has ever had and no he didn't rush. He just likes it that way. Life full of lies!

Buck is sitting in his bed teasing a pillow and waiting. And he is... He is so... You can't want to kiss your friend but can you at least hug him?

"Hi?"

"Eddie. Who do you think you are?"

That's new.

"What do you mean right now?"

Buck is... blushing?!

"Who do you think you are for me?"

He knows the answer. Kinda

"Well, i recall you saying we are best friends, so I'll go with that. What's your point?"

"... That's all?"

It's obviously not but how could he even think about telling so? How would it sound?

"I don't really get where are you going with that."

Buck exhales

"Fine. Fine. As you wish. I just..."

"Buck, stop. You just what?"

"I kinda thought... about things"

"And didn't like it? You'll get used to the process"

"Oh, shut up, Eddie! I thought about my life, you know. Without you"

The more you know, really. Eddie doesn't need to think about it. He lived it. All the time Buckley was to ICU after lightning. Plus three fucking minutes and seventeen fucking seconds he really had to live without him. He hates it. Every moment of it.

"And? Your life would be so much better that now you feel low key sorry for saving me?"

"O my god Eddie! Can you please stop it? I try to say something really important here, why do you hate me?!"

"I don't. Really. It's more the opposite. I love you"

So, he said that. It wasn't that bad! Well, but now Buckley's gonna try to say something in return, it's gonna be awkward, and that would be how he lost his best friend. Maybe he really should have died there.

Frank definitely would say that he is depressed if he really thinks that death is a valid option. Who cares!

Buck meanwhile keeps silent. And cry. Why the hell is he crying now? Is it so awful to be loved by Eddie Diaz? Well, most probably yes.

"Buck?!"

"Sorry. I'm sorry. It's fine, i just... You said that you're an awful friend but you're not. And... You love me. As a good friend should."

"Evan. I didn't say i love you as a friend, thanks for noticing. I said that I'm an awful friend cause i love you not as a friend. I love you like you are the meaning of my life love you. I'm in love with you."

"Why?"

Who knew Evan Buckley is a philosopher now?

"Cause you.. it's you, o my god, that is the silliest question i ever refused to answer!"

Buck loudly inhales, like he's gonna jump into the deep water

"You are my best friend, Edmundo. But that's the top of the iceberg. You are, basically, all my life. I love you so fucking much and yesterday you tried to kill yourself in front of me. Are you insane?"

Eddie blinks, feels...oh, he has no idea, what exactly he feels right now. Everything

"Say what now?"

"I asked, are you insane."

"Before that!"

"Keep it low. You'll wake up Chris! I said i love you. Why are you acting so strange, didn't you know that? I was sure I'm obvious"

"You're not... I did not... Hell no. So you tell me... What the hell, Buck?!"

Ok, but now you certainly can kiss your friend. It would be appropriate. And, presumably, highly appreciated. Buck looks like a stray dog right now. Like he was rejected. But he so much wasn't. He even speaks sad!

"I don't know"

"I know. And, as long as you're still in my bed - or should i start calling it our bed? - I'm gonna lie down. But first - I'm gonna kiss you. If you have something against it - speak now or hold your peace"

Now Buck's definitely blushing. It fits him. Anything fits him.

"How could i possibly decline your offer? I mean... If it is fine with you, cause i don't want you to feel like I'm pressing you, just if you want..."

Eddie definitely can't wait any longer. He's actually proud of himself that he waited for this long. And somehow disappointed, like so much time wasted. Anyway..

Is it strange to think that Evans face is perfectly fits to his palms?

Not that Diaz is very experienced in kissing boys, not that there's so much difference but there is. Or, probably, there's one major difference. It's Evan.

He feels Bucks hands clinging to his back, biting Bucks lower lip and then there's the sound. Muffled moaning, running down Eddies spine.

"Mierda, Evan!"

He's old. Well, fine, at least he's adult. Should be responsible and reasonable. What should he not certainly be doing right now is pulling Bucks shirt off, literally reaping off the buttons with his shaking fingers and yet there heis.

"Eddie... "

He's not going to stop anyway just because, to be fair, he just physically can't stop right now. And based on Buckleys reaction he should not stop. Still

"Eddie, Chris is sleeping! We need... O my god"

Hickey on the neck also fits Buck perfectly. Noted

"I closed the door and he is a heavy sleeper. I've checked"

"You... You just ran from hospital. You could die yesterday... Geez, Edds, give me that!"

Give him what? His heart, soul and everything? He gave it so long ago it's hard to remember specific day

"Your stupid t-shirt why did you ever bother to put it on?!"

***

Bobby woke up from the message. It's Chris. That's strange, something with Eddie? In that case Buck should have called first.

He looked on the screen and

"Bobby, your laugh is sweet but if you didn't notice i was sleeping, what could be so funny that..."

Athena is not a morning person, definitely, so instead of answer Bobby just shows her his phone. With a picture on the screen

"Is that... Finally!"

"That's what i said. It's been... how long? Anyway, strict conversation is waiting for them both. After."

"Of course. Do you know you act like a proud father right now? It's kinda... Spicy. Come here!"

#buddie 911 #buck x eddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #911 fandom #911 fic #911 fanfic #911 ao3

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buddienights · 3 years ago

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Part five of the TA grindr au

There’s only three weeks left in the semester when Buck gets a new message. It’s been difficult not to constantly IM Eddie. It’s not that Buck has a ton of standards that go into finding someone attractive (usually it’s as simple as “into him” and “enthusiastically consenting”) but Eddie is funny, and he’s smart, and he’s a dad, and from the little he’s talked about it, he’s a great dad, and also he’s…extremely hot.

Buck’s taken to sitting near the front row — just far enough back to get a good look at the, uh, PowerPoint projection — and even though he’s taking this class as a belated grad requirement, it is actually kind of fun. Made more fun because he knows what’s under Eddie’s shirt and when he zooms in on the picture on his profile there’s this freckle right at the top of his ribs that Buck wants to taste.

The latest volley of correspondence comes at an unusual hour. Well, unusual for Eddie. The little they’ve spoken in the past few weeks, Buck’s initiated almost all contact — usually to get more details about Eddie’s son’s needs so that he can apply that to his insider research into the kindergarten options around the city — and it’s never been after midnight.

But right now, it’s 1:30, and Buck is in bed, and when he first sees the message pop up on the screen, he assumes it’s from someone trying to pick him up. Because all it says is, “so, uh, firehose?”

And then he sees it’s from Eddie.

Firehose91: isn’t it past your bedtime

SunnyD: I’m out with a friend from the physics department

SunnyD: or — or in?? I guess?? We’re at my apartment because her wife wanted to host a sleepover for Chris and their son.

SunnyD: we had

There’s a pause in the conversation and Buck realizes that Eddie is a bit drunk.

Firehose91: you had…

SunnyD: we had “unwanted opinions” about the correct shape to make a gingerbread house so we got kicked out

Firehose91: a physicist and a classics grad student I can’t even guess what those might have been

SunnyD: Karen thought it should be like a Martian dome city thing and I thought it could be like a Parthenon type thing

SunnyD: and apparently when we started hypothesising about classical architecture getting transferred to future Martian colonies

SunnyD: we became unbearable

Firehose91: was this before or after the…margaritas…?

SunnyD: b4. This is after the margaritas

Firehose91: you don’t say

SunnyD: you didn’t answer my question. Firehose???

Firehose91: I figured there wasn’t any reason to be modest about it

SunnyD: because this is grindr

Firehose91: because this is grindr

SunnyD: okay but like there are other things you could’ve chosen that would still tell people you’ve got a big dick

Buck wonders for a second how much Eddie will remember and regret this conversation in the morning. He hopes the answer is “not much” on both counts.

Firehose91: when I moved to LA I applied to be a firefighter, and a navy seal, and also to school. I didn’t think they’d let me in to the school part so I was sort of set on the firefighter thing

Firehose91: but then I got into school and so I’m doing this instead. The name just stuck

SunnyD: oh. I bet you’d have been a great firefighter. But you’re gonna be a really great teacher

Firehose91: thanks. That means a lot, especially from you

Eddie doesn’t respond and Buck hopes it’s because his friend, Karen from the physics department, has given him some water and sent him to bed.

Buck is unsuccessful when he tries not to think about Eddie in bed.

#buddienights writes #buddie fic #buddie #911fic

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starkjoy · 3 years ago

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The Head, the Heart, and Eddie Diaz

As many have noted, Brawl in Cellblock 9-1-1 clearly parallels Eddie and Mitchell. On the surface, the two men can't be more different—one's a convicted murderer who's spent his life in prison, the other a veteran medic who's committed his own to saving others. Yet, despite their apparent differences, both men have one trait in common: they would do anything for their son.

For his child to live, Mitchell must sacrifice his own heart.

So he does. Literally.

"Bullet hit his brain." What an interesting line.

"He shot himself in the head" would have been far more succinct, far more natural, clearly letting Buck (and the audience) know that yes, this man just committed suicide.

By referencing the bullet directly, however, it's almost as if the writers are taking away some of Mitchell's agency in his death—and instead giving it to the bullet.

In this way, the imagery of a bullet taking someone's life comes to mind for the viewer. And with Eddie speaking these lines to Buck? What else are we going to think of but this?

Mitchell gave away his heart for his son, literally.

The bullet hit his brain, literally.

The parallel between Eddie and Mitchell doesn't stop at their dedication to their children—Eddie's also experienced the two above statements. Just in a figurative sense.

Let's dive deeper under the cut:

Now, we've been trying to connect the dots between all the heart motifs surrounding Eddie, of course beginning with Carla's iconic line in 4x13:

"...not Christopher's."

In this scene, the writers plant the first seed that Eddie's dating Ana for Christopher's sake. That he's not following his heart, but his son's instead. Through Buddie-colored glasses, the line also implies that if Eddie was following his heart, he'd be pursuing someone else...and who else could that be other than Buck? Shannon's dead and Eddie has no other love interests.

Eddie doesn't respond to Carla's statement; he only looks at her with uncomfortable confusion, later watching Ana and Christopher with a similar pained expression.

He knows. And we know he knows, but it doesn't matter. For his child to be happy, to have a mother again, Eddie must sacrifice his own heart.

So Eddie does. Figuratively.

Then, at the end of this same episode, a bullet fucks up his plans.

The gunshot may have pierced his shoulder, not his brain, but the bullet knocked something loose inside his head.

"Eddie, he's dead," Buck says about Mitchell.

Now, imagine this line with a slightly different emphasis:

"Eddie. He's dead."

When Mitchell shoots himself, his brain literally dies. When the sniper shoots Eddie, his dies figuratively.

Eddie. He's dead...

Mitchell was locked away in prison, and only a bullet could set his heart free. Eddie locks away his emotions inside the prison of his mind, and a sniper's bullet unlocks its doors. That day, a part of Eddie—the part that easily represses emotional trauma so he can move forward—dies. After the shooting, Eddie's newly-healed mind induces panic attacks—the physical manifestation of his heart veering off path—at the thought of a "ready-made" family with Ana.

While Mitchell's heart sacrifice ultimately saved his son's life, Eddie realizes his own was a misplaced attempt to do the same. As pictured at the end of Brawl when he snuggles into Chris' bed, Eddie's enough to keep his son happy.

A part of Eddie may have died the day he was shot, but his heart's still alive, just like Mitchell's. Still beating. Still waiting to be followed.

Where will it lead him next?

Interestingly, it's not until Buck nudges Eddie in the right direction that Eddie breaks up with Ana—the first step in following his heart. Now, the writers very well could keep Eddie single, or introduce yet another bland side character as a love interest, or hell, even a new main character as a love interest...

...Or maybe his heart will lead him right back to the man who finally pushed him to follow it. His best friend, his partner, the man he deemed the only other person on the planet worthy of his son. The man he's already made a family with, whether or not he's aware.

The man who knew his heart was still beating the day he almost died, and made it stay that way.

Of course, the writers might not have intended any of the above, but when you lay everything out like this...c'mon, there's no other love interest for Eddie that could ever compare to Buck. And vice versa, as we've been seeing with the lack of chemistry between Buck and Taylor.

Let's hope 911 agrees.

#buddie #eddie diaz #911 speculation #911 on fox #911 spoilers #buddie meta #911 meta #this was a whole ass essay but i dont regret it #kylie was wrong 2021 is the year of Realizing things

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archerincombat · 3 years ago

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here comes a feeling (you thought you'd forgotten)

That’s the point of almost dying, isn’t it? That you didn’t? 5x06 coda

read on ao3

Eddie’s got a tenuous grip on reality.

He longs, wants for something that neither Bobby nor Buck can give him. There’s a burning feeling in his throat, like he wants to scream but doesn’t know how to make it sound pretty. He can’t justify this feeling, not in any language he knows.

Not when he made it out alive, again. That’s the point of almost dying, isn’t it? That you didn’t? Even if by now you’re pretty damn sure that one of these days, you’ll be down on your luck; that someone will bet correctly on this fucking roulette game you’ve all been playing and it won’t be you, but you didn’t die.

Eddie’s always been told that’s the only thing that matters.

Hen tells him he’s going to hear the ringing in his ears for a few more hours and leaves him sitting on the bumper of the ambulance, legs swinging, looking like she’s already mourning something. Eddie knows the feeling. His hands aren’t shaking. He hears the sirens and sees the flashing blue and red.

He made it out alive, and he’s not actively dying, but really, he’s not sure he ever learned the difference between the two.

“Hey,” Athena Grant appears in front of him, notebook in hand. She keeps glancing back at Buck for some reason that Eddie can’t quite parse out, but he’s not looking in their direction at all. “Let’s take a walk.”

They leave the area, walking back into the hospital instead of congregating outside like they’re expected to go out on another call at any moment, turnout coats at the ready. Eddie thinks he probably has it in him, but then again, there are times like tonight that he wishes he didn’t.

“Thank you.” He clears his throat. “For getting his son the transplant. Thank you.”

“Yeah, well,” she replies, brushing past the hoard of police even though the guy is dead. Trust Eddie, he would know. “Some laws are just arbitrary. There for no other reason but to make all of our lives more difficult.”

Right, he thinks privately. Of course. Everything you’ve done these past few weeks certainly seems to be the easy way out. But that’s neither here nor there right now. They sit across from each other and wait. Eddie is not like Athena Grant. He refuses to be.

But you understand it, don’t you? A furious voice asks, begs him to let rage take over. You understand why she did it? You remember that feeling, when they brought up Christopher and hit Buck? You remember it, don’t you?

The truth is, rage is much easier to swallow than grief ever will be. Eddie’s been actively trying to avoid his own funeral since Afghanistan. He’s never been very good at it.

“Your statement then,” Athena says, like she gets it. “Whenever you’re ready.”

So Eddie talks, because it’s not hard to recount, because he was physically present for all of it. He pauses when he gets to the part where Buck screamed his name. She knows this part. Half of Los Angeles does. Eddie thinks if he gives it any more thought, it’ll ruin everything. So he doesn’t.

Athena takes the hint. She closes her notepad. “Word of advice,” she says. “That weight on your shoulders? It gets a lot lighter when there’s two of you.”

Eddie’s not stupid. Thing is, whatever’s between him and Buck? It never tends to stay down at all.

Sometimes, Buck wishes the whole Navy SEAL thing stuck.

It’d certainly make today easier. Between him and Eddie, Buck’s always been the emotional one. When that asshole had pulled out that picture of Chris from Eddie’s wallet, any self-preservation skills Buck had (which, okay fine, isn’t very many) suddenly seemed insignificant. He still can't bring himself to care.

“I don’t get it.” The four of them — Buck, Bobby, Hen, Ravi — are huddled outside, waiting, ironically enough, for someone to pick up the ambulance. He itches to abandon post and march into the hospital, never too great about Eddie going where he couldn’t follow, but apparently, when you’re a firefighter, deserting your friends after they’ve been trapped in a prison is frowned upon.

Seriously, it takes everything in him not to cross his arms like a teenager and mutter, “whatever, Bobby.” But he figures that’s the head wound talking.

“I mean,” he tries again. “He built rapport with the guy who almost tried to kill us. Who does that?”

He doesn’t say, I thought the person I love more than the world itself had been shot again. I thought I was going to have to go home and tell Christopher that his father didn’t make it this time. I thought, that I was back at the well, feeling like I would’ve given anything to cut my line and stay with him.

Bobby looks skyward, like he’s trying his best not to tell Buck and an invisible Eddie off for almost dying (again). “Well, he had no other choice, Buck.” The captain shrugs. “Plus, he was plenty good at it when the ambulance got stolen the last time.”

There’s a pause. Ravi, who looks miserable for some reason, grimaces. “Wasn’t that the day I said the q-word?”

“Yeah,” Buck replies automatically. “Guess today was payback.”

“Buck!” Bobby scolds.

“Buck’s got a point though. Eddie’s not even in shock,” Hen murmurs, arms crossed. “He got taken hostage and he was answering my questions like he just tripped over the sidewalk. Eddie’s brave, but is he really-”

“He threatened Chris,” Buck says, compelled but voice dry as he says it out loud. “That’s how I, uh, head. Anyway,” he glosses over the how and why. “Eddie’s pretty good at compartmentalizing.”

“He hasn’t told you anything?” Hen asks in a sort of wonderment. “Didn’t he tell you he was breaking up with Ana before he did it?”

“This isn’t-that’s not the same thing,” he stutters, all too aware that there are crossed lines everywhere that make the statement a little more false than true. “If Eddie says he’s fine, maybe we should believe him.”

“That,” Hen announces. “Is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.”

Bobby’s phone lights up with a text that says Eddie and Athena are done since Buck’s phone is still in evidence. Buck rolls his eyes in false pretense. Maybe, he replies. But it’s all we’ve been clinging to.

to everyone keeps saying that eddie should’ve worried more about buck, no <3 (kidding!…)

#ignore all typos i wrote this in like an hour #911 spoilers #buddie #911 fic #oops #em writes

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reyescarlos · 4 years ago

Text

look after you || a buddie fic

❄️ @911giftexchange fic for @bombera hey, tori! i'm wishing you the happiest of holidays! this year has truly been one for the books so i hope this fic will help to end 2020 on a good note for you! it kinda ran away from me but i hope you’ll enjoy! ❄️

word count: 4.7k || read on ao3

You've begun to feel like home, yeah What's mine is yours to leave or take What's mine is yours to make your own

Infamously December is known to be a hectic month but now, with just a little over two weeks until Christmas, Eddie is feeling the pressure. His work schedule leaves little to no time for him to prepare for the holiday season, time slipping through his fingers with such ease that it had come as a surprise to see just how close he and the rest of the world were getting to the big day.

His concern was bad enough but this last week his mind has been additionally preoccupied with worrying over his son who is the latest person to come down with the bug that’s running rampant. If he isn’t at work, he’s right by Chris’ side, doting over him and doing his best to insure his comfort.

Throughout it all he has had Buck, his best friend and confidant, a man he can share virtually any thought with. All, really, but one. Eddie groans internally. His unspoken feelings for Buck are the last thing he needs to dwell on now. But the thought is far easier to think than put into practice with Buck sharing this space with him. Even on his day off Buck opts to spend time at the Diaz house, an additional set of hands that Eddie is beyond grateful for at such a time. Buck has long since been a staple in his home and now, more than ever, he’s grateful for his companionship and help to keep him from going under. Buck seems to understand him in ways very few can, sensing his needs and thoughts without a single word uttered.

He can feel Buck’s eyes on him as he pops two slices of bread into the toaster but he focuses on his task, doing his best to keep his head on straight though his mind is a riot of thoughts.

Eddie massages the back of his neck to relieve some tension, stretching it a bit as he draws in a breath.

“Alright, what’s going with you?” Buck asks.

Eddie turns back to face him and shrugs. “It’s nothing. I’m just trying to figure out a game plan. I still have to finish holiday shopping but you’ve seen our schedule for the next two weeks. We’re practically going to be living at the station.”

“But we have today off and it’s only noon. That’s plenty of time for you to head out there while I stay here with little man. See? Simple solution.”

“It’s your day off. I couldn’t do that.”

“I can watch him, it’s not a problem,” Buck insists.

Eddie hesitates. It’s a great offer, one that would quickly remedy his dilemma. “I don’t know, Buck. It’s a big ask. It’s short notice and he’s sick.”

“It’s not a big ask. It’s not even an ask at all; I’m volunteering. And besides,” Buck says, puffing up his chest. “Buckleys don’t catch colds.”

Eddie’s mouth twists to one side in thought. Today really is the one true window of time he’ll have and it’ll certainly be easier to stealthily buy Chris’ presents without his observant son being able to see what he’s purchasing. Resigned, Eddie nods slowly, knowing this is the best offer he could possibly have.

“Alright, yeah, okay. I’ll try and hurry back but still, I know it’ll be a few hours until I’ll be back home.”

Buck rolls his eyes. “Would you relax? Take all the time you need, seriously. Chris and I always have a blast together. We’ll be just fine. I promise.”

“No, I know he’s good with you. I just…”

“Suck at accepting help, yes, I know,” Buck teases, patting him on the shoulder with one hand and gesturing towards the front of the house with the other.

“Go. I’m officially kicking you out. Don’t forget to get me something nice, yeah?”

~*~*~

Eddie returns home with a trunk full of presents after a very successful trip to the mall. He’s managed to get for everyone on his list and the relief he feels in having this task officially scratched off his to-do list is a major weight off his shoulders. He carries a few bags in with him to the house. From the moment he steps inside he can hear the raucous laughter of Christopher and Buck coming from the living room, his son breaking into a small coughing fit afterwards.

Eddie stashes his purchases into the closet, hiding the bags under his jacket in a feeble attempt to bury it for the time being. Buck and Chris carry on chatting and Eddie is certain that neither of them realizes he’s gotten back, so wrapped up they are in their conversation.

“Maybe we could go to New York like Kevin next year for Christmas? Me, you, and Dad.”

Eddie feels his body tense and he stays in place, curious as to what Buck’s response will be.

Eddie could easily picture it, the three of them taking on the city. The images that flood his mind teem with warmth and joy and sincerely, Eddie would love nothing more than to wrap himself in that. But a trip that elaborate wouldn’t be a casual thing between friends, at least not for him. It’s one thing to have Buck over at his place or for them to go on outings around LA with Chris on weekends. A Christmas getaway would carry far more weight. It’s something that families do. Something twinges a bit in Eddie’s chest at the thought. Somewhere along the way, without Eddie even fully realizing it had solidified itself, that’s precisely what Buck has become to him, and apparently Chris too.

“Now there’s an idea. I would love to go with you guys. Sure you wouldn’t mind me tagging along?”

Chris is quick to respond, casting away any trace of doubt. “Nope, the trip wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Eddie can hear Buck sigh. It’s clear just how touched his best friend is by Chris’ sentiment and Eddie would have to agree with his son. Any trip, any facet of life really, is so much better when Buck is thrown into the mix. He’s so interwoven into the fabric of their life, it’d be hard to picture any moment, big or small, without him there experiencing it with them.

“See, this is why you’re my favorite Diaz. Don’t tell your dad I said that though. It may break his old man heart,” Buck laughs, Chris joining in.

This melody is Eddie’s favorite sound, the lightheartedness of his two favorite guys sharing a private joke. It’s the little things like this that light him up, that fill him with a warmth so vibrant and strong that it takes every ounce of strength in him not to sit Buck down one day and have a serious conversation. But Eddie has never been good with words and in a case like this, for a topic this important, he knows a talk like that would be best handled with care. Whenever, or rather if ever, that day comes, Eddie hopes he’ll be prepared to handle it. Instead he’ll stick to this, to cloaking his feelings for the sake of keeping the scales balanced.

“With laughs that big I’m guessing someone is feeling better?” he says aloud, essentially announcing his presence.

He steps into the living room and sees the space has been transformed. A giant fort is set up in the center of the room and at the mouth of it is Buck and Chris stretched out side by side on pillows from the couch and Chris’ bed. It looks like the coziest of setups and Eddie isn’t at all surprised to see that Buck got creative in trying to make Chris as comfortable as possible.

Chris slaps on an innocent smile but Buck apparently has a harder time schooling his features.

“Eddie, you’re back. I didn’t even hear you come in,” he says, picking up the remote.

The end credits for Home Alone 2 flit by on screen. Buck hits pause as Chris reaches for the DVD of A Charlie Brown Christmas.

“Can we watch this one next?” he asks Buck who’s already nodding.

“Oh, definitely. This is one of my all-time favorites. How about I get you another bowl of soup and then we can fire this one up. Sound good?”

Chris gives him a two thumbs up and flops back against the pillows, plucking a tissue out of the box and wiping at his nose. Eddie frowns seeing his son so sick but the best he can do is continue supplying him with medicine and fluids to help him through it.

Buck carefully climbs out of the fort and walks over to Eddie, the two of them going into the kitchen.

“How’d your shopping go?” Buck asks as he opens the fridge and takes out a container.

“Really well. I managed to get stuff for everyone on my list, including a certain pest I know,” he jokes the second Buck opens his mouth, no doubt to check about the status of his own gift.

“Well, I’m glad you have your priorities in order then, thank you.”

A comfortable silence falls between them as Buck moves around the kitchen and Eddie is struck, not for the first time since befriending Buck, at how comfortable his friend is inside of his home. That’s all Eddie could have ever wanted. Buck moves with such assurance taking a bowl down from the cupboard, pulling a spoon out of a drawer, knowing exactly where everything is without hesitation or having to ask. It warms his heart to see this, to know that Buck must feel comfortable here, that this could somehow be home.

“Thanks again for watching Chris for me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it,” he says as Buck pops the now filled bowl into the microwave.

“Don’t mention it. I love hanging out with him and if I can help you in any way, I will. Always.”

Buck holds his gaze and for a moment, Eddie thinks he’ll say more. There’s something in his expression that looks as if he’s trying to communicate something wordlessly but far too soon, the moment passes and shortly after the microwave beeping breaks the silence between them. Buck smiles softly before turning away but Eddie keeps his eyes trained on his back, getting lost in his thoughts.

Maybe this is all in his head or perhaps an unhealthy amount of wishful thinking is at play but lately something has felt different between them, as if there’s something going unspoken.

Buck gets a tray and puts the bowl on top of it, carefully picking it up from the countertop.

“I can bring it to him,” Eddie says, gesturing to take the tray. “You can get out of here, if you want. You should enjoy what’s left of your day off.”

Buck rolls his eyes as he side steps and laughs. “That’s exactly what I’m doing now. Didn’t you hear? It’s Charlie Brown time. No way in hell am I missing him or that tree.”

Eddie smiles softly and shakes his head. He opens his mouth to say something but falls short on words. Buck seems to understand regardless as he smiles back and nods.

“I know,” he says simply. Eddie wants so desperately to ask what exactly it is that Buck knows, what he feels but he lets the matter go for now.

This right here is more than enough, he reasons. To have Buck look at him and comprehend even a fraction of his gratitude.

~*~*~

Eddie knows he worries too much but watching Buck throughout their busy morning and early afternoon with back to back calls, he can’t help but to feel a little troubled over Buck’s slower pace and quieter nature. Usually he could be counted on to be the most energized and talkative during calls but today he’s so much more subdued and it feels like a real cause for concern.

“You okay?” Eddie asks, searching Buck’s face as they wash their hands in the bathroom to prep for lunch.

“Yeah, I just need some food in me and I’ll be good to go.”

Buck smiles reassuringly but Eddie isn’t convinced. Nonetheless he follows Buck up to the loft where the rest of the crew is already gathered around the table. Eddie takes a seat beside Hen who sits across from Chimney, the two already engaged in conversation.

This leaves Eddie the coveted spot of sitting opposite Buck.

Buck settles in at the table beside Chimney, placing a hand against his throat as he clears it before he reaches to the center of the table to start fixing his plate. Eddie watches him curiously as he’s done all day, noting the way Buck seems to be moving a bit slower than usual, the man’s eyes trained in focus on the simple task of putting food on his plate.

Eddie wonders if he’s reading too much into Buck’s body language but given how well he knows his friend, he feels safe in his assumption that Buck is off today because he’s sick and putting forth his best efforts to disguise this fact. Out in the field it was easy to attribute Buck’s pace to the amount of work the team had to put into their calls but now, with everyone finally able to unwind and catch their breath, Buck still looks put out.

“Buck, you’re really hot,” Chimney says as Buck’s arm grazes his. Eddie purses his lips, his suspicion confirmed easily.

Buck flashes a smile and a wink. “Tell me something I don’t know. But I don’t think Maddie would take it well to know you’re hitting on her brother.”

Chim smacks his hand against his forehead and shakes his head.

“You’re no match for your sister, I can tell you that right now, but that’s not what I meant. Seriously, don’t you feel warm?”

Buck shakes his head. “No. It’s actually kind of cold in here, isn’t it?”

Hen pushes back from the table across from him, putting a hand over her mouth and nose.

“Nope, you’ve got to go. Cap, this bug is making the rounds quick. I swear half of Denny’s class is out with it.”

Bobby rises from his seat and walks over to Buck, placing a hand on his forehead. Buck looks like a grumpy child as his bottom lip pokes out slightly.

“Jeez, Buck. You’re like a furnace. I’m afraid I have to send you home.”

“But, Cap!” Buck tries to protest but Bobby shakes his head and holds up a hand to stop any more objections.

“That’s an order. And here are some more for you: drink lots of fluids, get in bed, and stay there. Be sure to get a ton of rest until this fever breaks. I know you want to stay on and help but you’re going to sideline the whole team if we don’t do this. Sorry, Buck.”

Buck sighs defeatedly and pushes back in his seat, rising to his feet. The crew murmurs their get well soon wishes to Buck as he heads toward the stairs and Eddie’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach knowing how and why Buck is sick in the first place. He rises from his seat, quickly wiping at his mouth with a napkin before following him to the locker room.

Eddie stays quiet at the door as Buck gets his locker open and takes out his bag.

“So much for Buckleys don’t get sick, huh?” Buck says with a sigh, sitting down on the bench.

Eddie steps further into the room and sits beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. He’s surprised when Buck’s hand comes to rest over his. Buck’s hand is warm and Eddie relishes in his touch but too soon, the feeling is gone; Buck quickly lets go and clears his throat, shifting his attention to his bag. Eddie’s hand falls limply into his lap.

“This one’s on me. I’ll stop by after work and check on you, okay?” he ventures.

“You don’t have to. I’ll be alright.”

“Maybe so but I’d feel a hell of a lot better seeing that for myself. I can drop you home now, if you want. I’m sure Bobby would let me run off for a bit.”

Buck smiles softly and shakes his head. “You’re a good friend, Eddie, but I can manage the trip home. I promise I’ll follow Dr. Nash’s orders to the letter. I’ll be back on my feet in no time, just you wait and see.”

~*~*~

It’s been two days and Buck’s fever has been making its presence known; it’s Chris’ symptoms all over again but Eddie is ready for it, already having placed a call to his grandmother for even more of her miracle soup. Eddie’s been anxious at work, keeping his phone within reach at all times just waiting to get replies from Buck when he checks in. Some messages are more coherent than others but overall it seems as if Buck is hanging in there as much as can be expected.

Eddie’s certain that what his friend needs now is his grandmother’s home-cooking to really send Buck’s ailment packing. It’s to her house he heads straight to after his shift, his thoughts resting heavily on Buck’s recovery.

“Abuela?” Eddie calls out as he locks back the front door of her home.

“In here!”

Eddie follows her voice to the kitchen where he finds his grandmother ladling her soup into Tupperware, the remnants of vegetables and spices on the counter.

He greets her with a kiss on each cheek, taking a set back so she can continue filling the container she’s halfway done with.

“Thanks for doing this...again,” he muses. “One day I swear I’ll learn how to make this stuff.”

She gives him a doubtful look but smiles. “I don’t mind making it for you and your boys.”

Eddie eyes her for a moment, taking note of the implication of her wording. Unsure of how or even if he should call attention to it, Eddie switches gears a bit.

“I’m sure Buck is going to appreciate it. This soup was practically magic for Chris. Buck is chomping at the bit to get back to the station. This is just the thing to get him there again soon.”

His grandmother sets the ladle down and secures the lid on the container, double checking that it’s properly sealed.

“And I’m sure you’re eager for him to get back, too.”

Eddie is brought up short by this, his brows furrowing in thought. Isabel Diaz is as formidable a woman as ever and is always far too good at reading things that weren’t spoken with Eddie. In a case like this, it only makes him feel on edge rather than comforted.

“What are you getting at?”

Isabel shrugs her shoulders but despite how nonchalant the gesture is, Eddie knows there must be more to her thoughts than she’s letting on just then.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Buck is your best friend, no? I would think it’d make sense that you’d want your partner back.”

Eddie can feel heat rising in his face and quickly turns to the pantry, opening the door to it and taking a tote bag off one of the shelves, taking advantage of the brief moment of reprieve to pull himself together.

Eddie returns to her side and begins packing away the various containers. His grandmother is nothing if not efficient and thorough. These batches will be enough to get Buck through the week.

Eddie stays quiet while he works but just as he’s putting away the last container, she places a hand on his arm, stilling him.

He turns his head slightly to look at her, not quite meeting her eye. She takes it as the invitation it is to say whatever is on her mind.

“He’s lucky to have a friend like you,” she says softly, as if in thought.

“I’m the lucky one here, believe me. Buck’s always a huge help. At work, around the house, with Chris. This is the least I could do.”

It’s only then that Eddie looks at his grandmother fully and the knowing smile on her face is so comforting that Eddie feels the tension in his body melt away.

“People like that are hard to find in life. Be sure to hold on the good ones for however long you can.”

~*~*~

Visits to Buck’s after work have become the norm all week and with each trip, Eddie feels more assured that Buck will be better in no time. Today’s check in brings on a sense of déjà vu. In Buck’s living room now is a replica of the fort he and Chris constructed at Eddie’s place a week and a half prior.

“What’s your obsession with forts anyway?” he asks as he climbs inside, surrounded by plush pillows and blankets.

“Maddie used to make them for me all the time when I was little,” Buck says. “Building one with Chris has me kinda nostalgic, I guess.”

Eddie smiles to himself at the mental image of Buck as a kid. It isn’t too hard to picture what he must have looked like back then as he looks at him now, a blanket draped over his head and shoulders sitting cross-legged in front of the laptop, a movie already playing.

“What are you watching?” Eddie asks, settling in.

“Love Actually.”

Eddie laughs and shakes his head. “I didn’t take you for a romcom lover but I guess that somehow makes sense now that I think about it.”

“What’s not to love about them? The build up, the will-they-won’t-they but you know they totally will, the big sweeping declaration at the end? That’s what everyone roots for. Who doesn’t like seeing people in love live happily ever after? It’s the dream,” Buck concludes.

Eddie doesn’t argue the point. How could he possibly when that’s all he’s been hoping to have himself?

“That’s really your dream?” he asks tentatively.

Buck shrugs. “I definitely wouldn’t say no if it were to happen. But in order for all of that, someone would actually have to fall head over heels for me,” he laughs wryly.

“You make it sound like such an impossibility. Like you’re somehow difficult to love.”

Buck’s head tilts to the side a bit. “You don’t think that I am?”

It’s such a loaded question, a dangerous one really but still, the words fall effortlessly from Eddie’s lips as he replies.

“I would think that falling for you is one of the easiest things a person could do.”

Eddie realizes this conversation is veering off course and Buck probably isn’t thinking very clearly given the state of things. For all Eddie knows, Buck is hopped up on cold medicine and doesn’t realize he’s asking leading questions. Eddie falls silent then, laying back and staring up the blanket overhead as the movie continues to play on screen. The seconds stretch tauntingly and Eddie knows he’s said too much, gone too far over the line they’ve been treating as a tightrope.

He hears the tap of the keyboard and the movie pauses. Eddie keeps his eyes trained above him, hoping they can avoid delving deeper into this. But he’s kicked open the gate, ushered in this line of conversation he’s been terrified to have.

“Eddie, I—,” Buck starts but Eddie isn’t so sure he wants, or is even ready, to hear what Buck has to say in response.

“You should get some sleep.”

“But I want to talk to you. I missed you today. I always miss you when you’re away.”

Eddie freezes, unsure of if this an open statement Buck would be making if he wasn’t sick or possibly feeling awkward given Eddie’s last comment but he’d be lying to himself if he said it isn’t something that makes his chest warm right in the center.

“I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere all night,” he assures.

“All night? What about Chris?”

“He’s probably on his way to a sugar coma at my grandmother’s right about now. She’s baking tonight and Chris, of course, volunteered to help. I know he’s just in for the leftover frosting and taste testing.”

This seems to be a good enough distraction. Buck laughs softly and grows quiet, pressing the laptop again and Eddie is certain he’s never been more grateful to hear a bunch of British people in conversation with each other. He opts to just listen to rather than watch the movie; his focus is completely shot.

After a few minutes, Buck sighs and burrows in against Eddie’s side. Instinctively Eddie wraps an arm around his friend. Before he can undo it or reprimand himself for getting too familiar with Buck, the man buries his face against the side of Eddie’s neck.

He’s all too aware of each breath Buck takes, his skin tickling with every exhale. There’s nothing casual or platonic about this and Eddie’s heart aches so painfully in his chest that it takes every ounce of willpower he has to keep breathing. But still, before he can allow himself to truly accept what Buck getting this close to him means, he needs to hear it from the man himself.

“Buck?”

“You didn’t give me a chance to say anything before so I figured I’d show you where my head and heart are instead.”

Eddie sits up slowly, Buck moving with him. Eddie takes in his expression and sees a real clarity in Buck’s eyes that leaves no room for uncertainty that he’s serious. Eddie has spent so long feeling terrified of being presented with this moment but he takes comfort in realizing this isn’t one-sided like he’s feared.

“Is this the part with the big sweeping declaration?” he jokes lamely to work out his nerves.

“I sure hope so. That tends to always be the best part.”

“You’re a lot better at this than me,” he says, rubbing his palm against the front of his jeans.

“To be fair, I watch a lot of romantic comedies in my downtime.”

Eddie can’t help but to laugh at this, grateful for the levity Buck brings to this moment. He cups the man’s cheek and strokes his face lightly with his thumb as he stares into his eyes.

“I’ve never been too good with this sort of stuff but you make me want to figure out a way how to be. Maybe in time I’ll be able to get the words out but, if nothing else, just know that I feel a lot for you, Buck. With you, I feel everything.”

Eddie leans forward and kisses Buck’s forehead, his eyes drifting closed as he lingers for a moment. Buck sighs contentedly, one hand settling on Eddie’s knee. Eddie pulls away then, resting his forehead against Buck’s, his fingers carding gently through his hair at the back of his head. Buck bumps his nose softly to Eddie’s who smiles at the move.

“Crap, sorry,” Buck says, pulling away. “What if you get sick next?”

“I survived Chris’ fever. I think I’ll be fine with yours too. If not, then I’ll just have to commission Abuela to make more soup,” he laughs. “Speaking of which, I should get some for you. Or tea or—”

“No,” Buck interjects, holding on to his wrist gently, keeping him in place. “Please, just...stay here for a little while longer with me?”

Eddie looks at him, takes in that soft pleading look and nods. “Whatever you want.”

Buck smiles at this and lays down on his side. Eddie doesn’t hesitate in spooning him, his arm securing snugly across Buck’s hip. His face burrows in the crook of the man’s neck, chin propped against his shoulder.

“Now will you get some sleep?” he asks quietly.

Buck laughs, light and carefree. “I don’t see how I can be expected to now after all of this,” he replies just as quietly, playing with Eddie’s fingers.

“This feels like Christmas morning as a kid. All that excitement, wondering what’s in store. No,” he continues, shaking his head. “ I couldn’t possibly sleep now. I don’t want to miss a second of what comes next.”

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thisissirius · 5 years ago

Note

Siri, wow, can I have Buddie with Royal AU and Soulmate AU? I love your writing!

this made me so happy! i am here for this combo ;)

blink and almost miss eddie/buck, soulmates, royalty au

Trying to escape from his bodyguards is becoming a full time job.

Lucky for Buck, he’s been doing it since he was a toddler. Bobby never learns, always puts bodyguards with too much spine on Buck duty, as if he doesn’t already know Buck hates those types.

“it’s for your protection,” Athena always says with raised eyebrows.

Buck gets crushed one time in a freak accident and suddenly everyone wants him kept in bubble wrap. Under wraps. Heh.

The pier is packed with people—Buck doesn’t pick his battles as well as he evades bodyguards and press—and Buck navigates them easily. Most people don’t pay him any notice, which works for him, and he manages to hover around a couple of stalls without getting his picture splashed onto social media.

Buck catches sight of a kid with crutches on his own, looking at the people around him. When he was a kid, fresh in the state, Buck remembers getting lost because his bodyguards have always sucked, and he knows how terrifying it can be. He can’t help himself; he jogs up to the kid. “Hey, you alright?”

The kid immediately looks up, face shifting between emotions quickly. “My dad says I shouldn’t talk to strangers.”

“And he is absolutely correct,” Buck says, trying to think of something that will help him get this kid found.

The boy’s eyes widened. “You’re the prince.”

“Ssh,” Buck says, pressing a finger to his lips and crouching down. He doesn’t think anyone around them has heard; nobody’s immediately stopping and demanding his attention. “Let’s keep that a secret for now, okay? Think we can catch up with your school?”

There’s a moment’s hesitation. “I’m not here with my school. Ms. Ingrid takes care of me when my Daddy works. She gets mad I can’t keep up.”

Buck feels a momentary flash of anger but covers it with a grin. “Do you know if Ms. Ingrid has a phone number we can call?”

“No,” the boy says. “She doesn’t give it to me. She says I’m too stupid to remember but my dad says I’m smart.”

Buck’s chest tightens further with anger but he crouches down, gives Chris the brightest smile he can. “I think I believe your dad, buddy. Do you know if he has a number?”

“Yes,” the kid says brightly, then his face falls. “It’s in my coat and Ms. Ingrid left it in the car.”

Ms. Ingrid is definitely Buck’s least favourite person. “Well, I’m gonna call some people myself, alright? Wanna find somewhere to sit until they get here and help us find your dad?”

“Okay,” the kid says. “He’s a firefighter but I don’t know where.”

Filing the knowledge away where he’ll probably never use it, Buck finds a nearby bench and directs the kid to it. He doesn’t know the protocol for this kind of thing, and if anyone sees, they might think he’s kidnapping the kid or something. He’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it. “My name’s Buck.”

“I thought it was Evan,” the kid says, tilting his head back.

“My friends call me Buck,” Buck says carefully.

The boy’s smile is blinding. “My friends call me Chris! My name’s Chris. Except when my dad’s mad or worried.”

Buck laughs gently; yeah, he knows those kinds of problems. “My dad gets like that too.”

Chris nods. “My dad says King Bobby is awesome.”

“That he is,” Buck says. He can’t wait to use that particular adjective on Bobby. “Right, let me just call for help, okay?”

Chris seems content to sit next to him on the bench, watching people go by. Buck pulls out his phone and bypasses his bodyguards, going straight for Hen. She’s managed to dig him out of several scrapes and he kinda needs her advice.

“—Why I even bother!” Hen’s yelling decreases and Buck gives Chris a funny look. Chris giggles and Buck hears Hen’s sigh. “That the kid?”

“Yep,” Buck says. “I don’t know where his chaperone is and I know people are starting to notice me. Any chance we can find this kid’s parents?”

“Just dad,” Chris adds helpfully. “Eddie Diaz, and he’s a firefighter. Mom’s dead.”

Buck’s heart lurches painfully. “I’m sorry to hear that, buddy.”

“It’s okay a lot of the time,” Chris says, though he looks a little sad. “Dad makes it more okay.”

There’s clacking from the other end of the phone and Buck tunes back into the conversation, keeping a hand on Chris’ shoulders. “Found him. I’ll call him and the cops. Please stay where you are.”

That means bodyguards. Buck rolls his eyes, but does as he’s told and waits.

It takes about ten minutes for help to arrive in the form of Buck’s bodyguards. Bobby’s gonna be having people fired at the end of this, but Buck’s glad to have some friendly faces around. Thankfully, they don’t try to hustle him off the pier, and Buck assumes Hen’s contacted them and managed to get things under control.

Not long after, the cops arrive with an unimpressed Chim.

“What the hell?”

“Look,” Buck starts.

“No, I don’t wanna hear it,” Chim says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Cops, Buck, really?”

“It’s fine,” Buck stresses. “Whoever’s chaperoning Chris—”

“That would be me,” an unimpressed voice says.

Chris shifts closer to Buck and whispers, “That’s Ms. Ingrid.”

“Christopher,” Ingrid says, and Buck hates her on sight. “What have I said about wandering off?”

“I didn’t,” Chris starts.

“And lying,” Ms. Ingrid stresses. She looks at Buck—and he sees the flicker that she recognizes him—but immediately turns to the cops. “This man is kidnapping!”

“Hey now,” Buck says.

“No he isn’t!” Chris cries.

“I highly doubt that,” a new voice puts in.

Buck looks up and fuck, that is one handsome man. He’s striding through the crowd, anger clear on his face, and Chris immediately perks up from behind Buck.

“Dad!”

The man sweeps in, hugs Christopher tightly, and Buck’s heart hammers against his chest for reasons he can’t explain. “Christopher.”

“Told you,” Chris says, looking up at Buck, and Buck can’t help laughing. He stops as soon as Chris’ dad stands, eyes narrowing. It takes a beat, two for him to realize who he’s staring at.

“Oh shit,” he says. “Uh, I mean, your Highness.”

“Oh god, don’t,” Buck groans. “Listen, it’s—”

“Dad,” Chris says, smiling widely, “this is Buck! He stopped me getting lost when Ms. Ingrid went ahead and—”

“I did not,” Ingrid stresses.

Chris’ dad—Eddie, apparently—looks thunderous. “This isn’t the first time.”

Ingrid bristles, and Buck ignores Chim’s warning look to interject. “Chris was by himself,” he says, quietly when Eddie turns the full force of his gaze on him. It sends a shiver up Buck’s spine and makes him want to do whatever it’ll take to get Eddie to stay. What. The fuck. Ignoring it, Buck continues. “I didn’t know what else to do but have someone call you.”

“I appreciate it,” Eddie says.

“Bo—your father is going to kill you,” Hen says, coming up behind Chim. Buck groans internally. Now that they’re both here, Buck’s in a world of trouble.

“It wasn’t Buck’s fault,” Chris says immediately. “He was helping me!”

Hen looks amused more than irritated, and Buck grins, knows Chris is winning her over already. Maybe she won’t eviscerate him once this is over. “Is that right?”

Chris nods. “Please don’t be mad, Ma’am. Dad says we should be grateful to people who help us.”

“Should we?” Hen says.

Chris’ dad flushes, hands on Christopher’s shoulders. “Buddy, I think we should—”

“Please don’t go,” Buck says immediately. He knows how it sounds and can feel his own cheeks heat up. “Let me sort things with the cops and then we can talk or something, I just want—”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Hen and Christopher’s dad say at the same time.

Buck deflates, crouching down in front of Chris. “I’m glad we met, buddy.”

“Me too,” Chris says, looking sad. “Am I allowed to hug a prince?”

Though his bodyguards might throw a fit, Buck doesn’t give a fuck. “You absolutely are.”

Chris moves forward a step, wrapping his arms around Buck’s shoulders. Buck squeezes him gently, breathing in a scent that’s oddly familiar, though he can’t pinpoint how. When he pulls back, he gives Chris a bright smile.

“I’m glad I met you, Christopher.”

“Me too.” Chris says. “I wish we could be friends for longer.”

Buck feels something settle in his chest, an uncomfortably tight feeling. “Yeah. But you have to do something, alright? Make sure you always keep smiling and definitely make sure to take care of your dad.”

Chris nods and Buck doesn’t know what to make of the indecipherable look on Eddie’s face.

“This is ridiculous,” Ingrid snaps. “He doesn’t get accused of kidnapping because he’s a prince?”

“I didn’t kidnap him,” Buck puts in.

“Hey,” Eddie says, stepping between Buck and Ingrid. “I left Chris in your care and you abused it. I won’t be paying for today’s session and you can guarantee I won’t be sending Chris to you again.”

“We have a contract,” Ingrid starts.

“Voided,” Hen cuts in. “If you like, we can talk about it with the cops.” Placing a hand on Ingrid’s shoulder, Hen steers her away and Buck lets out a slow breath.

Eddie’s still standing in front of him looking angry and Buck wants to wipe the expression off his face.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Eddie asks, genuinely surprised.

“You didn’t have to step in. For all you know, I could have kidnapped your kid.”

“You didn’t,” Eddie says immediately.

Buck doesn’t want to argue, he doesn’t, but his mouth is already saying, “how do you know,” before he can stop it.

There’s a strange expression on Eddie’s face, like he’s not sure himself, but he’s shaking it off. “Chris says you didn’t. I trust my son.”

“Then I’m glad I met Chris,” Buck says, smiling down at Chris, who grins. “You have a pretty awesome kid, Mr. Diaz.”

“Eddie.” Making a face, Eddie’s lips quirk up into a soft smile. “I’m only Mr. Diaz when I have to be.”

Buck laughs at that, though he doesn’t know why; it’s not particularly funny. Something about Eddie puts him instantly at ease. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Eddie.”

“You too,” Eddie says, holding his hand.

It’s easy enough for Buck to place his hand in Eddie’s with every intent to shake it. As soon as their palms touch, Buck feels hot, his body burning from head to foot. He can’t stop staring at Eddie, who’s watching him back, mouth open, eyes wide. Buck wants to get lost in them, can’t help but move forward. Eddie meets him halfway, free hand coming up to touch Buck’s cheek. Every place they touch has Buck tingling and he breathes out a soft noise.

Eddie moves forward, crashing his lips to Buck’s. It’s instantaneous, the build up of emotion and it rushes in, fills every part of Buck’s head until he’s dizzy with it. He’s accepting the bond, he knows, letting Eddie consume him, and Eddie’s doing the same otherwise it wouldn’t work and he—

“Uh,” he says when he wakes up.

“Idiot,” a familiar voice replies. Chim, Buck thinks, cracking open one eye. “Wake up, Princess.”

“Prince, actually,” Buck says, and his head is pounding. “What happened?”

There’s enough of a silence that Buck opens his eyes. He’s laying on the ground. Wood. Sounds of the pier rush in at the same time the memories do and he jerks up, frantically looking for Eddie.

“I’m right here,” Eddie assures him, and there’s a hand on the back of his head. “You passed out.”

“Oops,” Buck says, and closes his eyes again. “I think I’m gonna throw up.”

There’s a soft press of lips to his head. Buck tingles. Eddie breathes. “Is that normal?”

“I don’t know,” Chim says, sounding put-out. “Hen’s the soulbond expert.”

“Oh,” Buck says. “We bonded.”

Another silence.

“I don’t mind,” Buck says, groping around, satisfied when Eddie’s fingers tangle with his.

“I’m a widower,” Eddie says gently, his voice low. When Buck opens his eyes again, trying to ignore the swirl of anxiety deep in his chest that he knows doesn’t belong to him, he can see the fear on Eddie’s face. Eddie swallows, looks over to Chris, who’s being looked after by an attentive Hen. “I have a kid and a shit ton of baggage.”

Buck knows what this is and he doesn’t like it. He leans in, forehead against Eddie’s shoulder and thankfully, Chim leaves them to it. “I don’t care.”

“Evan—”

“Buck,” Buck says helplessly.

Eddie sounds worried, but Buck can feel his heart pounding beneath his cheek, an emotion strong in Eddie’s mind that Buck doesn’t dare name. “Buck.”

“I get it’s a lot,” Buck says quietly. “I’m a prince and I’m—well I’m sure you know.”

“I read things,” Eddie admits, hand resting on the back of Buck’s head. He starts stroking, gently, and Buck wants it forever. “I don’t know you.”

“We can learn.” Buck doesn’t want to pull back, but he needs to look Eddie in the eye. “If you want.”

Eddie’s smile could light a thousand dark days. “Alright.”

“Good,” Buck says and leans in, kisses Eddie again. It’ll never get old, he thinks, and then looks up as the clatter of crutches on wood drags his attention away from what Eddie tastes like.

“Buck!” Chris pauses. “Are you okay?”

“I am now, Chris,” Buck assures him.

Chris looks at Eddie, then Buck, then back to Eddie. “Is Buck your friend, Dad?”

“I think it’s a little more complicated than that,” Hen says, looking at Buck pointedly.

“Bobby’s going to kill me,” Buck groans.

“As in King Bobby?” Eddie says, going instantly pale.

Buck nods.

“Oh, shit, you’re a prince,” Eddie says.

“Yeah.” Buck speaks slowly. “You know this.”

“Does this make Dad a prince too?”

Oh. Oh shit, Buck’s going to die.

Chim raises his eyebrows. “Oh no, neither of you are going anywhere. We’re going back to the palace to explain this.”

“Yay,” Chris cheers.

“Awesome,” Buck says, heavy with sarcasm.

“I think I’m gonna throw up,” Eddie replies.

Buck stares at him, feels the thrum of fear from Eddie. Beneath it is a rush of warmth, pride, and adoration. Love, Buck thinks. It’s love. “We’re gonna be fine,” he blurts, hopeful.

It takes a moment, but Eddie nods, touching Buck’s face again. “Yeah. Yeah, we are.”

#buddie fic #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fic #911 #otp: i forgive you #fic by me #Anonymous

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starlightbuck · 4 years ago

Text

i wanna be known (by you)

part 1/2 || word count: 6.5k || read on AO3

“I didn’t mean to do it.”

Hen glances down at Eddie’s phone then back up at him in disbelief. “How do you ‘not mean’ to download a bunch of dating apps but still have them on your phone?”

In which Eddie delves into the intimidating world of online dating.

“I didn’t mean to do it.”

Hen glances down at Eddie’s phone then back up at him in disbelief. “How do you ‘not mean’ to download a bunch of dating apps but still have them on your phone?”

Eddie ducks his head, feeling a warm blush work its way up his neck and onto his cheeks. He can’t tell Hen the truth. It’s a pathetic story that includes a night without Christopher, a bottle of red wine, and a very sad Spotify playlist. “It just happened.”

“Okay,” Hen says, but her tone makes it painstakingly obvious that she doesn’t believe him. Eddie is just grateful that she’s choosing not to call him out on his lie. “So, remind me what you need me for again?”

When Eddie woke up this morning, he had a phone full of apps he didn’t remember downloading but couldn’t bring himself to delete. Sober him was too scared to take the first step towards putting himself out there again, but apparently last night’s wine-drunk version of him wasn’t. He was thankful for that courage, up until he tried logging into the first app and realized that he was way out of his depth. He needed help and he knew exactly who he could turn to.

“I don’t know how to use them.”

Hen leans closer to Eddie so that she can hear him over the chatter in the firehouse. “Can you say that again? I didn’t hear you.”

“I don’t know how to use that dating app,” Eddie repeats, gesturing to the one that Hen currently has open on his phone. When her eyes widen behind her glasses, he resigns himself to being a little overheated for the entirety of his conversation thanks to his embarrassment. “Or any. I’ve never used one before.”

He braces himself for whatever jokes Hen has up her sleeve in response to his confession - she always has at least three at her disposal - but they never come. Instead she says, “alright, then let me show you.”

“What?”

“I’m going to show how to use the app.” Hen tilts the phone in his direction so that he can see what she’s doing. “Once you get the basics down for this one, using the rest of the apps will be a breeze.”

Eddie’s mouth falls open. He had mentally prepared himself for the teasing he’d be on the receiving end of as soon as he recruited Hen for assistance. He knew it would be done good-naturedly, which is why she was the one he chose to turn to. “You’re not gonna make fun of me?”

Hen sighs, lowering Eddie’s phone and using her free hand to hold his. It’s an unexpected move, but not unwelcome. “C’mon, Eddie. In what world would I possibly make fun of you for putting yourself out there again?”

Her brown eyes bore into his and it takes all of Eddie’s strength not to look away. They’ve been working together for close to two years now. It’s how she knows about Shannon’s passing and how much of a mess Eddie was after it happened. “Thank you,” he whispers.

She pats his hand before picking up his phone again. “Now, enough of that. It’s time for us to get down to business.”

She inputs some basic information on Eddie’s behalf, all the while showing him what she’s doing so he can do it on his own with the other apps later.

“And now all that’s left before we choose some of your pictures is to put in your sexual preference,” Hen explains, finger hovering over the word ‘women’.

Eddie’s heart rate kicks up a couple of notches as Hen moves to click that word, not even bothering to acknowledge the other two options. It’s a conversation Eddie has never had at work, not because he’s ashamed, but because it’s never come up.

He can let Hen believe her assumption is correct and choose the ‘women’ option for him now and go home and change it for himself later. She would be none the wiser and nothing would change. But, Eddie decides that that’s not what he wants. Hen, hell the entire 118, have become his family and it doesn’t feel right to lie to family. Not that he’s been lying so much as omitting the truth.

“Actually,” Eddie interjects, cutting off whatever Hen was in the middle of saying. If he doesn’t do this now, he might never do it. He holds his breath as he lightly knocks her hand out of the way so that he can bypass the ‘men’ and ‘women’ option to choose ‘both’.

She looks over at him, shock clearly written across her face before letting out a startled laugh. “Okay, Diaz. I see you.”

He exhales, happy that coming out to her was as simple as that. No questions, no accusations, nothing. It makes a weight he didn’t even know he was carrying float away and he’s lighter because of it.

He knocks his shoulder against Hen’s and she does the same back to him before giving him his phone back.

“Okay, time to pick the pictures you want on your profile.” Hen taps her chin before saying, “taken a picture with any puppies recently? No one, man or woman, can deny a cute man holding an even cuter puppy.”

Buck, 26 Los Angeles, CA Birthmark not eye herpes.

“He’s cute.” Eddie drops his phone face down onto his lap, heart racing as he looks over his shoulder. Hen is standing there, smirk firmly in place. He doesn’t know how long she’s been there and he’s not sure that’s something he wants to know. If she’s been there the whole time, that would mean she knows he’s been openly staring at this guy’s profile for the last twenty minutes. “Did someone punch him in the face?”

“Did someone punch who in the face?” Chim asks as he raids the fridge for a snack.

Bobby must be in his office or somewhere else in the station because no one would ever dare to mess with anything in the kitchen when he’s around, especially the fridge. They’re all convinced he has some kind of organization system in place in there that he refuses to tell them about. It’s the only way to explain how he always knows when something’s been moved.

Eddie shoves his phone into his back pocket as if doing so will suddenly end this conversation. “No. No one.” He clears his throat. “No one got punched.”

Hen snorts, mouthing ‘smooth’ at Eddie before heading into the kitchen area to make herself a cup of coffee. She only gets as far as replacing the coffee filter when the alarm suddenly sounds overhead. They’re all heading for the stairs in an instant, leaving everything behind in the loft as they go.

Well, almost everything.

Eddie’s mind strays to brilliant blue eyes and a bruise-like birthmark as he jumps into the fire truck.

“Why is this so hard?”

Eddie stares at his darkened phone screen before tapping his finger against it. When he does, Buck’s profile lights up the otherwise dark room. He’s spent close to an hour on the app, finger ready to swipe right on Buck, before chickening out, letting the phone lock itself and then repeating the process all over again.

There are people out there who use dating apps with ease and it’s apparent to Eddie that he’s not one of them. He probably should’ve seen this coming as soon as he asked Hen for help setting up his profile, but he didn’t. He had foolishly assumed that creating his profile was the final hurdle he needed to get past before putting himself back out there in the dating world. He didn’t take into consideration the fact that there was still one last hurdle to get past - actually swiping right on someone.

It sounds completely innocuous when it’s put that way - swiping right. It’s nothing more than a quick motion, a movement that can be done in the blink eye.

For Eddie though, it’s more than that. For him, it’s the equivalent of letting someone know you like them and hoping that they feel the same. It’s a position that Eddie hasn’t been in in years and, now that he’s stepped back into it, the ground has become unsteady beneath his feet.

But it’s time, it’s been time. If he doesn’t now, when will he?

“Fuck it.”

With a bout of confidence that wells up from an unknown source somewhere deep within him, he unlocks his phone and finally swipes right.

The action alone is enough to make Eddie smile triumphantly. He did it. He didn’t think he could, but he did and now -

You’ve matched!

The words on his screen are accompanied by two small circles - one that has Eddie’s profile picture and the other has Buck’s. It must be the app’s way of letting him know what him and his match will look like together, but all it’s done is send Eddie’s heart rate spiking. He’s been so focused on the steps that needed to be taken to put himself out in the dating world again that he didn’t stop to think about what would come after that.

In this case, that ‘after’ means sending a message to the person he’s matched with.

“Shit.”

“Daddy?”

Eddie puts his phone down right away, screen facing down so that he can offer up all of his attention to his son. They’re sitting at the table working on a project for one of Chris’s classes and, although Chris swore that he could handle it on his own, Eddie chose to sit across from him and offer up some moral support. There aren’t too many days where he can just sit and be in his son’s company, so he figured he’d take advantage of the opportunity today. “Yeah, Chris?”

“Are you mad at your phone?”

“I- what?”

“You were looking at it like this.” Chris pushes his eyebrows together with the tips of his pointer fingers and turns his lips down in an exaggerated pout. Something tells Eddie he didn’t look exactly like that, but maybe that’s how obvious his mood is to his son. And here Eddie was thinking that he was good at keeping his emotions under lock and key. “You only make that face when you’re mad.”

“I’m not mad.”

And he’s not, at least not per se. He’s mostly just aggravated at himself and his inability to type up a simple message.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Chris asks earnestly. It’s done in such a way that Eddie doesn’t know what to do with himself. It’s something he definitely cannot take credit for teaching his son. Not him, someone who makes it a point to bury his feelings so deep beneath the surface that it would take at least a full day of digging to actually reach. “Carla always tells me that it’s good to talk about my feelings instead of letting them bubble inside me.”

“Carla’s right,” Eddie admits. He wishes there had been someone out there to tell him that when he was younger. It would’ve been refreshing to hear in comparison to his father’s motto of keeping everything bottled up inside where no one can see it.

“So, why are you mad, daddy?”

Chris’s head is tilted just so and it makes it impossible for Eddie to tell him anything other than the truth. Or at least a version of the truth that’s appropriate for Chris’s ears. “I made a new friend recently and I’m trying to figure out what to say to him.

“Oh!” Chris is excited about this, something that's apparent to Eddie after years of learning how to read his son. It might’ve been hard for him to really decipher his son’s words and actions upon returning from overseas, but Eddie found his bearings over time. For example, if not for Chris’s voice, Eddie would be able to deduce his son’s excitement from the red in the apple of cheeks and the flailing of his limbs. “That’s easy. You just say, ‘hi’.”

“Hi?”

“Yeah, what else would you say?”

His son makes a very valid point and Eddie feels a little foolish for not thinking of that himself.

“When’d you get so smart, kid?”

Chris’s answering grin is bright as he picks up his pencil to get back to his project. “I’ve always been smart.”

Eddie laughs before grabbing his phone, unlocking it and opening the app where an introduction is waiting for him. There’s no world where he would've considered typing a message to an almost stranger after a conversation with his son, but who cares. He’s tired of overthinking things.

He types up the short message quickly, hitting send before he has a chance to second guess himself.

Eddie (6:42pm): hi

Buck (6:43pm): hey! :)

“Carla send you a cute picture of Chris again?”

Dazed, Eddie glances up and finds Bobby staring back at him. “Huh?”

“Picture of Chris?” Bobby asks, pointing at Eddie’s phone. “You’ve been smiling at your screen for the past five minutes.”

“Oh uh yeah.” Eddie is quick to switch over to his photos app and pull up a picture that he had taken of Chris at the park yesterday. His captain will be none the wiser of when it was actually taken. “The two of them went to the park today since Chris had a half-day,” he explains as he holds his phone out for Bobby to see.

Bobby’s eyes light up immediately. It’s a reaction that Eddie’s grown accustomed to whenever Chris is involved. There’s no denying just how cute his son is.

Eddie waits until later, after Bobby has gone back to his office and no one else is around, to open the dating app that he spends a fair amount of time on these days. And to think, only a week ago he was asking for help on how to use the app.

Eddie (3:02pm): my boss called me out for smiling like an idiot at my phone

Eddie (3:02pm): I’m mortified

Buck (3:03pm): hi mortified! i’m buck!

Eddie shakes his head, biting the corner of his lip to keep from laughing.

Eddie (3:04pm): you’re the worst

Buck (3:07pm): if I was the worst would you really be smiling like an idiot at your phone because of me?

Eddie (3:09pm): I never said that YOURE the reason I was smiling at my phone

Buck (3:10pm): you haven’t denied it yet either ;)

Eddie stares off into space, trying to find the words he needs to send a message he should’ve sent ages ago. It’s just that talking to Buck these past two weeks has been fun, easy, and he never found the right time to bring up the fact that he has a son. Maybe if they had met in person, it’s something that would’ve been mentioned much sooner, but it’s different since the two of them are only messaging each other. Eddie is sure that there must be some kind of etiquette about telling someone you’ve met online that you’re a single parent, he just hasn’t figured out what it is just yet.

But, as he watches his son whoop happily as he flies down the playground’s slide, Eddie knows it’s time to be upfront with Buck and tell him. Better now than further down the line, especially if Buck has a problem with Eddie having a kid.

He really hopes he doesn’t.

Eddie (5:42pm): I have to tell you something.

Eddie thrums his fingers against his phone and tells himself that the way his stomach swoops has everything to do with the burrito he had for lunch today.

He doesn’t have to wait long for Buck’s response.

Buck (5:44pm): Is this when I find out that the pictures on your profile aren’t actually yours?

Buck (5:44pm): I knew it was too good to be true

Buck (5:45pm): Who’s THAT good-looking and easy to talk to???

Buck (5:46pm): I wonder if I can get on Catfish with this story

Buck (5:47pm): I’ve always wanted to be friends with nev

Eddie thinks that maybe he would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so nervous. He types out the message quickly, but between checking on Christopher again and his own nerves, it takes him longer to hit send.

Eddie (5:55pm): I have a son.

Buck (5:56pm): Cool! How old is he?

Eddie’s eyes widen, it can’t be that easy. Can it?

Eddie (5:57pm): he’s 9

Buck (5:58pm): that’s such a fun age!

And, because apparently Eddie doesn’t know to not look a gift horse in the mouth, he shares his disbelief with Buck.

Eddie (6:00pm): you’re okay with the fact that i have a kid?

Buck (6:01pm): i love kids

Buck (6:02pm): i’m a 1st grade teacher

Buck (6:02pm): did i never mention that?

He most certainly did not. Although, now that Eddie thinks about it, he never told Buck what he does for a living either. He should probably do that.

It’s interesting, the details that don’t come to the surface versus those that do in the world of online dating. Eddie’s sure that, had he met Buck in person, them talking about what they did for a living would’ve been one of the first things to come up in a conversation.

Eddie (6:04pm): you didn’t but i’m glad i know now

Eddie (6:05pm): i’m a firefighter by the way

Buck (6:06pm): you’re kidding me

Eddie (6:07pm): nope

Buck (6:08pm): so you’re hot, easy to talk to AND a firefighter

Eddie’s face heats up at the casual mention of his own attractiveness. Apparently being complimented via text makes him react the same way he would’ve had he heard the compliment in person. Add that to the list of things he’s learned thanks to the world of online dating.

Buck (6:09pm): please do not be alarmed if i don't respond for the next hour or so, i need time to properly digest all of this information

Buck (6:34pm): totally unrelated question, but if i set my apartment on fire right now will you come save me?

“I know that look.”

Eddie startles, almost dropping his phone in the process. When he seeks out the person who has caught him off guard, he’s surprised to see May. What surprises him even more is how the knowing look on her face is an exact match for the one he’s seen Athena wear countless times before.

It’s unsettling.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with the boys?”

Eddie and Chris already had plans for a movie night when he overheard Hen complaining about her babysitter canceling on her and Karen, thus leaving them without anyone to watch Denny on date night. Eddie, knowing that Chris wouldn’t mind the extra company, told Hen that Denny was more than welcome to join him and Chris for movie night. Then, because Bobby was sitting right next to him, Eddie extended the invitation to Harry and May as well.

It’s how he ended up here in his home on a Friday night with three young boys and May.

“I was, but they’re thirsty so I told them I’d come by and see what’s taking you so long.” May walks a little further into the kitchen and leans against the counter. “I wasn’t expecting you to be distracted by whoever it is you're texting and obviouslycrushing on.”

Eddie splutters. “I-what?” He can’t remember the last time he was called out for having a ‘crush’ on someone. The term itself sounds so juvenile. “I wasn’t texting and I’m not ‘crushing on’ anyone.”

May rolls her eyes. “You might be able to fool an adult with that argument, but not me. I saw the heart eyes you were directing at your phone as soon as I walked in here. So, can we skip past the part where you try to deny it?”

Eddie’s jaw falls open at May’s bluntness. He really thought he was in for an easy and fun night with the kids and instead he’s being called out by a teenager. If this is what he has to look forward to when Chris gets older, Eddie will start looking into ways to keep his son nine-years-old forever.

As if conjured by his father’s thoughts, Chris yells, “daddy! Are you coming back with our hot chocolates?”

Eddie moves to pick up the tray of mugs he was planning to bring to his living room before getting sidetracked but May beats him to it. She purposely takes two mugs off of the tray, leaving them behind on the counter. “I’ll take these to the boys, get the movie started, and then we’re gonna talk.”

Her tone leaves no room for argument and all Eddie can do is stare at her as she walks away. He’s always known better than to get on Athena’s bad side and, tonight, he’s learned that the same can be said for May.

Accepting that there’s no escaping what he’s sure is about to be a very thorough interrogation, Eddie picks up the two mugs May left behind and brings them to the table before sitting down. He’s tempted to message Buck while he waits for her to return but messaging him earlier was what got him into this situation to begin with.

“Okay,” May says as soon as she returns, taking the seat across from Eddie and wrapping her hands around her mug. “Spill.”

“Spill?”

“Yes, spill. Who’s got you looking at your phone like a lovestruck teenager?

Eddie’s grateful he wasn’t taking a sip of his drink when May asked that question because he might’ve choked on it. Lovestruck teenager, really?

“Just someone I’ve been talking to for a couple of weeks now.”

“And?”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “And what?”

“Can’t you be a little more detailed?” May leans forward, forearms resting on the table as her inquisitive brown eyes lock on Eddie. “When did you two meet? Where? Are they cute? Can I see a picture of them if you have one? Have they met the team yet?”

Eddie’s head is spinning from all the questions being thrown at him, but what really sticks out to him is May’s use of the gender-neutral terms ‘they’ and ‘them’. He’s grown so used to everyone around him assuming he’s straight, that it barely phases him when they use female pronouns. But here May is decidedly not doing that.

“They? Them?”

“You’ve never explicitly said what your sexual orientation is, and it’d be wrong of me to assume,” she explains, shrugging as if there’s nothing out of the ordinary with her reasoning. It’s that, her blasé attitude towards something people barely put any thought into, that cracks Eddie’s resolve.

“His name is Evan, but he goes by Buck.”

Eddie goes into more detail about the man that he’s been talking to, answering all of May’s questions about him. The experience makes him feel a little like his abuela when she sits at the dinner table gossiping with relatives.

“This is him,” Eddie tells her, sliding her phone across the table to her so that she can look at Buck’s pictures.

“Oh!” May exclaims, covering her mouth at the last second to keep from being too loud and drawing the boys’ attention away from their movie. “He’s cute.” She swipes through a few of Buck’s pictures. “Really cute. You two would look good together.”

Eddie does not puff out his chest a little bit at the compliment.

“Have you guys exchanged numbers yet?”

“No, why would we? We can just talk on the app.”

May shakes her head as she hands Eddie back his phone. “That’s the next step of online dating. You’ve gotta transition away from the app and, after messaging on it nonstop for three weeks straight, I think it’s time.”

Her statement lingers in Eddie’s mind later that night after all the kids have been picked up and Chris is tucked in and asleep. Honestly, he never even thought about asking Buck for his number so they could text each other instead of having to rely on the app. It would definitely be much easier to remain in contact that way and Eddie won’t have to hide his phone every time he opens the app to keep anyone from seeing it. The messages app is much more inconspicuous.

Eddie (9:34pm): what are your thoughts on exchanging phone numbers?

Buck (9:40pm): i thought you’d never ask :)

Eddie is walking into the station when his phone chimes. The sound is followed shortly thereafter by a second chime. He’s carrying a tray full of drinks, having woken up early and in a good enough mood to stop by the team’s favorite coffee shop to pick something up for Bobby, Chim, Hen, and himself. The tray itself isn’t all that heavy, but Eddie doesn’t trust himself to carry it in one hand. If his friends found out that he had purchased them all drinks, only to end up spilling it right before their shift began, he’d never hear the end of it.

At the same time, there’s only one person who would be texting Eddie at this time. It’s the same person who he’s continued to talk to nonstop since they exchanged phone numbers.

Although him and Buck had already gotten into the habit of messaging one another through a dating site, things somehow feel different now that they’ve switched to texting. More intimate. More real.

With this on his mind, it’s easy for Eddie to decide to take the risk - balance the tray in one hand so he can use the other hand to retrieve his phone.

Buck (8:50am): my kids are going to be the death of me

Buck (8:51am): if I had known I was going to die today I would’ve at least dressed better

Buck’s flair for dramatics is a trait that Eddie learned about the younger man when they first began messaging each other. It’s thoroughly entertaining.

Eddie (8:54am): what happened?

Eddie (8:54am): just asking so i can give the police the correct info when the murder investigation begins

In place of a text, Eddie receives a picture. In the background, there’s a chalkboard that says ‘You’re the best, Mr. Buckley!’ and on a large desk which must belong to Buck, there are various cards and what looks like a container with cupcakes in it. Eddie would zoom in to confirm this assumption, but it’s a little hard to do so with one hand while walking up the stairs.

Eddie (8:56am): why are you the best?

Buck (8:57am): i’m thoroughly offended that you even have to ask that

Buck (8:58am): (it’s teacher appreciation day)

“Are those for us?”

Eddie stops abruptly. The drinks in the tray tilt precariously, but Chim steps forward to save them with a steadying hand.

“Well someone’s distracted this morning.”

“No I’m not,” Eddie argues, locking his phone and stepping around Chim so he can carefully place the drinks on the counter.

Chim’s there a moment later, grabbing the mixed berry smoothie he’s been trying to convince his coworkers to drink instead of coffee. He takes a long sip before leaning against the counter and studying Eddie. “Distracted and defensive. Something’s definitely going on with you.”

In place of answering and implicating himself, Eddie grabs his coffee and takes a sip. It’s nowhere near as good as the one Abuela makes for him at her place, but it has caffeine and that's what matters most. He’ll gladly drink anything that’ll help him get through a 24-hour shift.

Chim stares at Eddie a little too intently for his liking, but Eddie stands his ground and doesn’t look away. Looking away would mean admitting defeat and that’s not something Eddie is prepared to do, even if Chim’s observation is correct.

“There’s something different about you these days. And I intend to find out what it is.”

It’s definitely a threat, but it’s one that Eddie can handle especially since Hen and Bobby unwittingly come to his rescue only a few seconds later. They collect their drinks from the counter and thank Eddie for them before Hen engages Chim in a conversation. Bobby heads in the direction of the fridge, which temporarily allots Eddie some time to himself. He intends to use it wisely.

Eddie (9:03am): you definitely deserve the appreciation

Eddie (9:03am): those kids are lucky to have you as their teacher :)

Buck’s reply doesn’t come until much later in the day, but that doesn’t stop Eddie from laughing when he sees it.

Buck (4:10pm): I read your message during lunch with some of the other teachers and got mocked for my reaction to it

Buck (4:12pm): and no I will not tell you what that reaction was. you don’t deserve to know

It’s late when Eddie finally gets home. Christopher is spending the night at Abuela's, which means it’s also silent as Eddie slowly makes his way towards his bedroom.

He hates it.

The silence reminds him of the last call from his shift. A neighbor had called in about a very loud argument going on in the house next to theirs. As soon as the 118 arrived at the scene and began gearing up, the sound of two gunshots pierced through the night air and threw everyone into high alert. The all-clear was given at some point thereafter and, when Eddie and the rest of the time were finally allowed inside of the house, they were met with silence.

Two DOAs. Nothing they could do to help either person.

Eddie changes out of his clothes on autopilot, thankful that he had the forethought to shower at the station. Now that he’s home, all he wants to do is crawl under the covers and forget about the horrors of the world for a little while.

He has just pulled back his covers and laid down in bed when his phone vibrates. It’s not until it happens a second time, that he checks to see who’s texted him.

Buck (10:45pm): pretty sure I just saw you and your team on the news?

Buck (10:45pm): could be wrong but I figured I’d ask

Right, the news. Eddie forgets that, sometimes, being a first responder means ending up on television. It’s a part of the job he could happily do without.

Eddie (10:50pm): yeah that was us

Buck (10:51pm): are you okay?

Without thinking, Eddie’s fingers tap out his response - yes. Right before hitting send though, he stops himself. No, he’s not okay. Not really.

It’s late, he’s tired, and he doesn’t feel like being a liar. Not tonight. It’s why he erases his original response and types a new one.

Eddie (10:52pm): no

Eddie puts his phone down beside him and closes his eyes. As soon as he does, the image of the dead man and woman from earlier infiltrates his mind. In comparison to everything he saw during his time in Afghanistan, the crime scene he witnessed today was nothing. But it’s the fact that it was a crime scene at all is what really got to him. Death was the norm overseas. It shouldn’t be the norm here, at home.

What’s the point of going off to war in the hopes of making the world a better place when violence can still be found everywhere you turn?

Eddie’s phone vibrates and, at first, he assumes it’s another text. When it continues vibrating, Eddie realizes that someone is calling him. Considering how late it is, he assumes it’s his grandma and is quick to pick up the electronic device. He’s about to accept the call when he sees the name at the top of the screen - Buck.

They’ve been messaging each other for over a month now and it’s become such an ingrained part of Eddie’s daily routine that it’s hard for him to imagine a time when that wasn’t the case. There have been moments where he’s felt like maybe they’ve been taking things a little too slowly and that, by now, other people would’ve met already. Or perhaps even gone on a date or two. But Eddie is in no rush and he’s been more than happy to keep things moving at this pace.

But now, here Buck is taking things another step further and catching Eddie completely off-guard. Exchanging phone numbers was one thing. Talking on the phone is something else entirely.

His phone is still buzzing in his hand and Eddie stares at it. The alternative to not answering this call is to continue lying in bed and being mocked by his overly quiet home. The latter is somehow scarier than the former.

“Hello?” The voice, Buck, says as soon as Eddie answers. It’s weird that Eddie can list off so many random details about Buck - what he does for a living, what his favorite taco place is, what kind of music he listens to when he’s in a bad mood, where he grew up - but he’s never actually heard him speak. Not until now.

“Hi, Buck.”

For a few seconds, all Eddie can hear is Buck’s breathing on the other end. Then, “I hope it’s okay that I called. It’s just, I saw the news about that call you were on and then you said you weren’t okay and just texting you back didn’t feel right. But maybe this is weird, and I should’ve asked you if it was okay before doing it. Sorry. My sister says I should work on my impulse control.”

Buck rambles when he’s nervous. That’s good to know.

“It’s okay,” Eddie tells him, smiling when he hears Buck’s sigh of relief. “I’m glad you decided to call.”

“You are?”

Eddie pulls the covers up to under his chin and turns, allowing him to wedge the phone between his ear and the pillow. “Yeah. It was too quiet in my house.”

“Christopher?”

“At Abuela’s for the night.”

Buck hums and Eddie relishes in the sound. It makes him regret not transitioning into phone calls with Buck sooner.

“Did you… want to talk about it?”

Eddie knows the ‘it’ that Buck’s referring to and also knows it’s that last thing he wants to be having a conversation about. “No.”

He doesn’t mean for the word to come out so harshly, but it does that of its own accord.

“Oh.”

“I’m just not really up for talking.”

“Right, of course.” Buck says in a rush. “You just got off of a crazy shift. You don’t need someone bothering you when all you really want is to rest.”

And, now that he’s said more, Eddie understands what Buck thinks Eddie meant when he said he’s not up for talking. “No no no.” He wants to correct this misunderstanding now before it leads to Buck hanging up the phone and leaving Eddie alone with his thoughts again. He’s not ready to stop hearing Buck’s voice, not now. Having just this small taste of it isn’t enough. “I just meant I don’t really want to talk, but if you do, I’m all ears.”

“Are you sure?” His voice is timid, small. “I talk a lot.”

“I’m sure.”

There’s rustling on Buck’s end and Eddie wonders if the other man is getting into a more comfortable position too. “Let me tell you about what my first graders did to me today.”

It’s almost two in the morning when Eddie’s phone rings. He groans, rolling over onto his side and trying to ignore the loud intrusion altogether.

“Shut that off!” Someone in the bunk room calls out, and it’s that that fully wakes Eddie up. He’s the only one on shift that keeps his phone volume on at all times, just in case a call comes through from whoever is taking care of Christopher.

He scrambles out of his bunk, presses his phone against his chest in an attempt to dull the noise, and all but runs out of the bunk room. His eyes are still half-closed when he answers the call. “Hello?”

“Eddie.”

“Buck?” There’s a choked sob on the other end of the line. The sound is amplified in the stillness of the station around him, and it pierces Eddie’s heart. “What's wrong?”

“I-” Buck gulps back air and Eddie reaches his free hand out, as if his touch will somehow reach Buck instead of the empty space around him. “I can’t sleep.”

Eddie is sure there’s more to the story than that, but it’s not his place to pry. Only a few nights ago, Buck offered Eddie the distraction he needed before going to bed. It’s only fair that he returns that favor.

“Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

That seems to bring some of Buck’s vocabulary back to him. His voice sounds raw when he says, “I don’t want to keep you up.”

“I was up anyways,” Eddie lies, making his way up to the station’s loft and sitting down on the sofa. It’s a little odd being up here with all the lights off and no one else around him. Odd, but peaceful.

“Let me tell you about some of the calls we had today.”

Eddie’s not sure just how much time has passed, but he’s in the middle of telling Buck a story about a woman who got stuck in her date’s window when he’s interrupted by soft snores. He smiles, thoughts drifting to the image of Buck asleep in bed with his phone still in his hand.

Eddie ends the call then and wills himself to get off of the sofa so he can catch at least another hour of sleep in the bunk room. The pull of sleep is far stronger than he’s expecting it to be and, instead of getting up like he should, he leans further back on the sofa and closes his eyes.

When he wakes up later, it’s with a dull ache in his neck, a small blanket tossed over his body, and two new messages from Buck.

Buck (6:40am): I’m sorry that i kept you up so late

Buck (6:52am): thank you for answering my call

Eddie doesn’t need anyone to tell him what the next step to take with Buck is.

Before he can second guess himself or chicken out, he dials Buck’s number.

Buck answers on the first ring.

“Hey, Eddie!” Buck’s enthusiasm would be obvious to anyone who can hear him. It’s an observation Eddie made early on when they switched to daily phone calls. Whereas Eddie keeps his feelings as close to his chest as possible, Buck is happy to put them on full display. So much so that those same emotions always find a way to bleed into his voice. “I didn’t think we were going to be talking until later tonight?”

“Will you go out with me this Friday night?” Belatedly, Eddie adds, “like on a date?”

Eddie can’t remember the last time he’s had to ask anyone out, but that’s no excuse for forgetting just how nerve-wracking it is to wait for an answer.

Time loses its meaning as Eddie holds his breath, waiting for Buck to respond. It might be seconds but could also be minutes later when Buck finally speaks.

“Yeah I’d-I’d really like that.”

A bubble of laughter threatens to creep past Eddie’s lips, but he manages to keep it at bay. He can’t keep from smiling though. “Cool. I’ll text you the details.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

#buddie #buddie fic #911 fic #911 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #my writing

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tripleaxeldiaz · 5 years ago

Text

subtle as a brick in the small of my back

Eddie’s proposing to Buck. The whole team finds out first. It goes about as well as expected (not well at all)

Or: 5 times the team almost blows Eddie’s cover, and 1 time it’s already blown

read on ao3

In retrospect, Eddie really did this to himself.

But, in his defense, he had to tell Maddie — she was Buck’s sister, his only blood relative, and the only one who would honestly tell him if the ring was horribly ugly. And he had to tell Bobby — the guy was practically Buck’s step-father, and he wanted to avoid any possible lecture from his mother about not being “considerate” or “chivalrous” when it came to asking a man’s pseudo son to marry him.

He should have known, however, that it wasn’t just telling those two — he should have known it was telling Bobby, who would tell Athena, who would tell Hen, who would tell Chimney, who had already heard it from Maddie, and who was now practically skipping around the firehouse announcing it to everyone else.

Eddie watches from the kitchen as Chim flits around like a damn bumblebee spreading the good news about Buck and Eddie’s pending engagement. He’s not a holy man, but he prays to whoever is listening that Buck doesn’t find out until Eddie actually gets to ask him himself.

Whoever hears him has the worst sense of humor.

Buck and Eddie don’t like to be apart after bad calls.

This one could have been worse — four car pile up in the carpool lane with three critical injuries, all kids. They were in the ICU and expected to make full recoveries, but it’s still not easy pulling mangled bodies the same size as Christoper out of wrecked cars.

They sat close in the truck coming back to the station, thighs pressed together, shoulders overlapping. They changed together in the locker room, never far away enough that they couldn’t feel the others’ warmth. They climbed the stairs together to the lounge, Eddie’s hand around Buck’s wrist, making sure he stayed upright until they could fall onto the couch.

They’re better now, overall. They checked in with Carla and Chris (who were apparently in the process of an intricate arts and crafts project that required hot glue and a pound of glitter. Eddie can’t wait to clean that out of the house for the next 10 years). The TV in the lounge is softly playing a rerun of Chopped. Eddie is sitting in the corner of the couch, feet on the coffee table, fingers running through Buck’s short hair where his head is settled in his lap. His other hand rests on Buck’s chest, right over his heart, and he listens to Buck’s critical commentary of each chef’s use of ingredients. They know the bell will probably ring in the next 15 minutes and they’ll be right back in the truck, but for now they sink into this brief moment of peace.

Eddie’s so focused on the show and Buck’s apparently extensive knowledge of ways to prepare salmon that he doesn’t even notice Bobby coming over until the couch dips as he sits down.

“You boys doing okay?” he asks, a soft smile on his lips. Buck adjusts to see him better, sitting up to lean on Eddie’s chest, Eddie’s arm slung over his shoulder.

“Yeah, we’re good. Chris has a surprise craft for us when we get home, though I think the mess he makes will be more surprising than anything else.”

Eddie huffs out a laugh, craning his neck to kiss the crown of Buck’s head. When he looks back at Bobby, the look the captain has on his face seems...sentimental. A little too sentimental, if Eddie’s being honest.

Buck must notice it too. He cocks his head and asks, “Are you okay Cap? You’re lookin’ a little misty over there.”

Bobby smiles and shakes his head, eyes shining. “I’m good, kid. Just...really excited for you guys.”

Eddie narrows his eyes. That’s a weird thing to say.

“Excited?” Buck asks, cocking his head even more. “What, that we didn’t get crushed on the highway?”

Bobby laughs. “Well yeah, of course. But also, you know, just excited that you guys have each other to lean on in the bad times like this. And you’ll have each other for a really long time. Forever, hopefully.”

Now Eddie’s eyes are wide in panic. Seriously? You’ll have each other for a really long time? He gives Bobby a look over Buck’s head that hopefully reads as If you don’t stop talking right now I’ll spray you with the hose and I won’t even feel bad about it.

Buck — beautiful, slightly oblivious Buck — just turns to look at Eddie, a smile lighting up his face (a relief to see after the past few hours). “Yeah, I’m pretty excited about that too.”

Eddie melts a little, returning Buck’s smile. Before he can fully respond, the bell rings, and Buck jumps to his feet. He stretches, shaking off any lingering cobwebs of their last call before heading into another one. He kisses Eddie’s cheek as he passes to head to the stairs.

He watches him bound down to the truck, still smiling, before turning to Bobby with narrowed eyes again.

“I’m pretty sure my 11 year old is better at being subtle than you are.”

Bobby claps his shoulder as he follows Buck to the stairs. “Don’t worry, I don’t think he noticed anything. Consider that a precursor to my speech at the wedding.”

Eddie sighs, hopes he’s right, and follows the team to the truck.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie stares at Maddie’s kitchen island in the same awestruck confusion he usually has on Buffridays. This week’s spread consists of lasagna, garlic knots, summer rolls, banh mi, tacos, and what he’s pretty sure is fried cheesecake. He feels Buck come up next to him, hip checking him as he gets one of everything on his plate before returning to the couch to pick their movie for the night. Eddie follows suit, skipping the cheesecake but promising he’ll come back later, before dropping down next to his boyfriend, who immediately turns and gives him a quick peck on the temple.

Eddie does not blush and smile like an idiot, despite this being a regular thing that has occurred for the entire two year duration of their relationship. He doesn’t. He’s totally used to how much and how openly Buck loves him. It’s fine.

Maddie walks over while they bicker about what movie to watch and sits on Buck’s other side. She clears her throat, halting their argument between Booksmart and Heathers, and pulls something out of her pocket.

Buck turns toward her and freezes. Eddie looks over as well and sees her holding a scrap of dark blue fabric. It’s inky and rich and speckled with white dots, almost like…

“The Milky Way Dress? Maddie, I can’t believe you still have this, why—”

“I finally got around to cleaning out the last of my boxes, pretty much a bunch of old stuff I was not ready to deal with when I left.” She smiles, wistful and a little sad. “I found this and just thought it was time to pass it on to you.”

Buck’s in shock, Eddie can tell. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open like it did the first time Christopher referred to the two of them as “his dads”, or like it did when Eddie told him that he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together (and no that was not a proposal, Eddie was hopped up on drugs after falling off a second story roof at a call. He barely remembers it, save for the look on Buck’s face. Doesn’t count.).

Buck takes the fabric reverently, turning it in his hands and running it through his fingers. He turns to Eddie, a soft smile on his face, and Eddie places his hand on his thigh reassuringly. He can tell there’s a story, and he’s happy to wait until Buck’s ready to share.

“This is— wow. So my grandma was one of the main people who raised me, along with Maddie. And she was crazy in the best way, very Miss Frizzle. She used to make all her own clothes with crazy fabric, and she always made me a matching shirt or belt or something. She got this Milky Way fabric once, and I was just obsessed with it, I wouldn’t shut up about it. So she went all out — she made me a shirt, a belt, a tie, a damn suit out of the stuff. I wore them as much as humanly possible for the next few years before my parents ‘accidentally’ donated them away.”

“You wore that suit for picture day until you were 13,” Maddie reminds him.

“Yeah, exactly.” Buck laughs wetly, wiping at his eyes. “But Grandma loved it as much as I did and always wore the matching dress when I came to visit. When she died when I was 16, she made it very clear in her will that she wanted to be buried in that dress. And Maddie, genius that she is, cut some scraps off the dress so we could always have a part of her. I lost mine in one of my billion moves, but now…”

“I kept part of this scrap too, but I wanted to give most of it to you,” Maddie says. “I know how close you two were. I used it as my ‘something old’ and ‘something blue’ at my wedding, so I figured you could use it too for...I don’t know, something. Down the line.”

She catches Eddie’s eye in a silent apology. He’s glad she caught herself because he’s still a little too wrapped up in watching Buck relive all these obviously happy memories to register much of anything else going on.

He watches Buck for a little longer as he folds the fabric back up, placing it in his back pocket. He turns and wraps his sister in a patented Buckley Bear Hug, laughing as he kisses the top of her head.

“Thank you, Mads. Seriously, this is...perfect. It’s just perfect.”

“Of course, I’m just glad I found it for you. And seriously, don’t lose it. I have a feeling you’re going to need it soon.” She pats his cheek fondly, sending a not so sly wink to Eddie.

Eddie somehow manages to keep his groan in his head as Buck settles between them again, picking up the remote.

“Alright gang, I really think the only way we’ll be able to balance out all this sappy stuff is with the glorious violence of Heathers…”

~~~~~~~~~~

Laughter erupts as soon as Eddie gets to the front door of the Grant-Nash house, so he waits a minute before knocking. The door swings open, and he’s greeted by the sounds of soft jazz, the smells of home cooking, and the vision of his boyfriend looking happy, relaxed, and definitely buzzed.

“Ah, my knight in shining armor, come to fetch me away!” Buck smiles his lopsided smile as he lets Eddie in and kisses him soundly. He tastes like Merlot and chocolate and just Buck. Eddie’s pretty sure he can get drunk off that taste alone.

“More like your chauffeur in a shining Silverado, but being a knight sounds much more fun.” Buck falls into a fit of giggles, his head collapsing onto Eddie’s shoulder, and Eddie can’t help but laugh along with him. Few things fill him with as much joy as seeing Buck so unabashedly happy, and he’ll relish in it for as long as he can, whenever he can.

Buck grabs his hand and pulls him towards the kitchen. “Come sit, Athena said she has some wedding stuff for me before we go.”

Eddie’s stomach drops past his feet, possibly all the way to the center of the earth.

His internal monologue goes off the rails — dammit he should have asked by now, none of the big romantic plans he’s come up with seem good enough so he just keeps waiting, but maybe since it’s all ruined he’ll just do it tomorrow morning when they’re eating breakfast or tomorrow night after they put Chris to bed, and Jesus Christ he should never tell any of their friends anything ever again—

Pull it together, Diaz. Be chill. Maybe it’s nothing. Of all people, Athena would never break a secret so easily. She’s a cop for crying out loud.

“Wedding stuff?” he asks in a voice way too squeaky to ever be considered “chill”.

Thankfully, alcohol is an exceptional buffer to Buck noticing Eddie in a full on crisis. He turns to him with bright eyes and says, “Yeah, for Maddie! She told Athena she’s been dropping hints to Chim for a while now and thinks he’ll pop the question soon. She wants to get a jump start on things so they can have the wedding by the end of the year.”

Well now he’s pissed for an entirely different reason.

Before he can hit send on a text to Chim — what the hell dude are you trying to steal my thunder??? — Athena comes back to the table with three boxes full of binders, pamphlets, and fabric samples. Eddie stands to help, and she gives him a look he can’t quite read before flashing a smile at Buck.

“This should be everything Bobby had. There’s lists of venues with how many people they hold and how much they charge for food. There’s samples for place settings, centerpieces, and decorations. And there’s lists of bakeries for the cake, plus what allergies they can cater to and price estimates. I hope to God there are no other boxes but if there are, I’ll let you know.”

“Wow,” Buck marvels as he flips through a book of flower arrangements. “Bobby really doesn’t half-ass anything, does he?”

Athena chuckles as she finishes the last of her wine. “No he does not. Sometimes it’s a gift, sometimes it’s a curse that clutters up my closet for three years.”

“Well thanks very much Athena, I know Maddie will be thrilled to not plan a second wedding completely from scratch.” He hugs her tight and kisses her cheek before grabbing a box and heading to the door. “I’ll keep these safe for her until Chim gets his ass in gear. Babe, can you get the other two?”

Eddie’s already in the process of grabbing them before Buck finishes his question. He smiles soft and bright when he sees, kissing Eddie’s temple. “You really are my knight in shining armor.”

Eddie’s sure he’s got hearts in his eyes as he watches Buck leave and load up the truck. He’s only able to turn away when he feels Athena come up next to him.

“Speaking of getting asses in gear…”

“I know,” Eddie sighs. “I’m working on it. I just...it needs to be perfect. That’s what he deserves.”

“Honey, it’ll be perfect because it’s you asking. That’s all he cares about. Don’t think too hard about it.”

“Well looks like I have to do it sooner rather than later anyway. I cannot believe Chim’s gonna—”

“Oh, he’s not.”

Eddie squints. “He’s not?”

“No, those are for you guys, not Maddie. I really needed them out of the house and didn’t know how long I’d be waiting.” She levels Eddie with a look again, and he somehow feels like he’s 16 and his mom wasn’t “mad” at him for doing something dumb, just “disappointed”. “I already gave Maddie a heads up so she’ll play along. Just try to ask him before we all start going grey, okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” She smiles and pats his cheek before leading him out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve seen these in person since I was in high school,” Buck says as Hen sits down across from him at the kitchen table, dropping a bunch of small, thick packages Eddie can’t quite see from his post at the coffee machine.

He blearily grabs the two cups of coffee he made, making his way over to the table. He places one mug in front of Buck, earning him a relieved smile and wink as he sits down, looking over to see what Hen brought in. The table is covered in developed pictures from old disposable cameras, dozens of glossy frames of people in suits and cocktail dresses laughing, a beautiful dessert table, something that looks suspiciously like a conga line.

“Are these from an old LAFD gala or something?” Eddie asks as Buck snorts out a laugh. He holds a picture up so Eddie can see Chimney with a tie around his head, perched on someone’s shoulders, yelling at something out of frame. “Oh that’s definitely getting blown up to poster size.”

“Actually,” Hen says, “these are from mine and Karen’s wedding.”

Eddie freezes mid sip of coffee, eyes snapping to Hen, who just stares back at him with feigned innocence and barely concealed glee. Hen’s smart, smarter than all of them put together, and while he knows she won’t tell Buck anything outright, he also knows she is thoroughly enjoying this opportunity to make Eddie squirm.

“Whoa,” Buck says. “There’s got to be at least a thousand pictures here. How’d you get so many in one night?”

“We had a few cameras on every table and told the guests to go nuts. We have some professional shots of the reception, but we wanted to see it how everyone else saw it too. And we decided to wait until our 10 year anniversary to get them developed so we could have a little walk down memory lane.”

“Huh, that’s a pretty good idea,” Buck murmurs thoughtfully, still absorbed in all the pictures in front of him. Eddie agrees, the cameras are a great idea, and he tucks that into the filing cabinets of his brain to use when they have their wedding.

If they ever have their wedding.

Eddie’s working on it. Really. He’s got the skeleton of a plan that will be beautiful and romantic and not too big, but big enough that Buck will know without a doubt how much Eddie loves him. So it’ll be soon, okay? Very soon. As long as someone doesn’t ruin everything before his plan can actually get set into motion.

He sees Hen’s smile get bigger, like she can see Eddie’s brain starting to overheat a little.

She leans over the table, pointing to one of the pictures. “I also recommend doing a dessert table instead of a big ugly cake. You can do a bunch of good stuff too like cupcakes, pie, we just went to a wedding with a candy bar…”

“A candy bar!?” Buck looks at Eddie like a kid on Christmas, and Eddie files that idea away too (while also noting that he’ll have to remind Buck that they probably can’t only have gummy worms at a candy bar).

“And you guys should definitely have a live band, they’re much better at getting people to dance than a DJ.”

Eddie clocks the “you guys” and starts sweating a little more. Hen notices too, eyes widening at Eddie like she knows she went a little too far.

Buck, by some miracle, still seems caught up in the fantasy of a 12-foot table covered in gummy worms.

He looks at Hen, eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t think a DJ is better? I feel like they have way better music usually. Live bands have, like, the same seven songs, and one of them is always ‘Footloose’.”

They continue to debate the pros and cons as Eddie stands to put his mug in the sink, squeezing Buck’s shoulder as he passes. Buck grabs his hand, kissing the inside of his wrist before letting him go, all without breaking conversation on whether “Shout!” or “The Macarena” is a more annoying song. Eddie’s stomach flutters like it always does with Buck’s absentminded displays of affection, but the butterflies also seem to be saying It’s time to get your shit together and ask this man for his hand in marriage, idiot.

Eddie closes his eyes, resting his head on the cabinet above the sink.

The butterflies are right. A little rude, but still right.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie knew Chimney was going to be the hardest loose end to round up.

He had stood at the top of the stairs, arms crossed, as Chim came up after telling the station (and probably the entire city of Los Angeles) that Eddie and Buck were getting engaged. “Chim, man, look—”

“No worries, Eddie,” Chim said, holding a hand up to cut Eddie off. “Cross my heart, I will not say a word to Buck. I’m sure you have something big and sappy in the works, and I will not be the person to screw that up.”

Eddie deflated a bit, still eyeing Chim warily. Chim just smiled back, clapping a hand on his shoulder and squeezing reassuringly. “Look, I’m so, so happy for you guys. You’ve both been through the ringer and still managed to find each other and create a beautiful life for yourselves. You guys really deserve it, and I—” He cleared his throat as his eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth like he wanted to keep going, but he pulled Eddie into a tight hug instead.

“Thanks Chim, that’s...that’s really sweet.” Eddie felt his voice crack around the lump in his throat as he patted his friend on the back. They pulled away, laughing quietly and wiping their eyes.

“Plus,” Chimney said, punching Eddie softly on the shoulder, “we’re basically in-laws now, so there’s definitely a bro code. Add that to the firefighter bro code, and I’m double coded, man.”

“So you’ll...double keep the secret?”

“Exactly.” Chim patted his back as he walked toward the kitchen. Eddie watched him go, still trying to put together the double code thing that was definitely not actually a thing.

In his own weird way, Chim had seemed sincere in keeping his mouth shut. Eddie really thought that had been that.

That had most certainly not been that.

Because since Chim couldn’t let out his excitement with words, he had to let it out in other ways.

Namely, tears. An ungodly amount of tears.

The whole team is in the lounge, flipping channels until they land on Say Yes to the Dress. Chim blinks at the TV, then whips his head to where Buck and Eddie are squished together on the couch. Eddie catches his gaze, watching his eyes begin to water before he’s up and running down the stairs. Hen barks out a laugh and tries to hide it in a cough. Bobby shakes his head and looks toward the sky, either asking God for strength or to smite him where he sits.

They’re at the kitchen table early in the morning, heads bent together as Buck shows Eddie a TikTok on his phone (Eddie doesn’t get the deal with these things, but they make Buck laugh so hard he snorts so he’ll allow it). They’re startled by a strangled sob from across the room and look up to see Chim rushing past them to the coffee machine rubbing his eyes, his shoulders still shaking as he adds milk to his mug. Buck shoots Eddie a confused look, and Eddie just shrugs helplessly before shooting a death glare to the back of Chim’s head.

Buck and Chim are chatting in the locker room when Eddie arrives for shift, dropping his bag next to Buck and giving him a quick peck hello on the cheek. Buck smiles at him, reaching up to push back a lock of hair that had fallen on Eddie’s forehead in his hustle to be on time (he’s growing his hair out again because he likes it that way, okay, not because Buck told him he looked like a sexy Superman when it was longer). They turn back to Chim in time to see tears begin to fall in earnest, which he quickly blames on allergies before scooting past them and out of the room.

“Is Chim like...good?” Buck asks, watching Chim walk away blowing his nose in his shirt. All Eddie had done was smile (probably a little dreamily) at some dumb joke Buck made, but that was enough apparently.

“He’s fine,” Eddie replies quickly. “He’s just...you know. Going through it. I guess.”

Bobby snorts from behind the stove as he flips a grilled cheese.

Buck sighs. “Should we remind him about therapy at least? I’m just worried he’s gonna be perpetually dehydrated or something.”

“I don’t know if therapy is what he needs,” Bobby says, looking pointedly at Eddie. Eddie throws a napkin at him.

Buck turns to Bobby confused but is quickly distracted by the hot sandwich placed in front of him. They launch into a debate on the best combination of cheese for a grilled cheese, Chim’s hydration levels seemingly forgotten.

Luckily for everyone, they’re almost in the clear. Reservations have been made, Chris’s sleeping arrangements have been confirmed, and Eddie’s even picked out an outfit. Everything is finally ready.

Eddie’s excited, more excited than he can remember being in a very long time, possibly since Christopher was born.

He also feels like he’s gonna hurl.

Hopefully that’s a good sign.

~~~~~~~~~~

He settled on recreating their first official date. It’s just cheesy enough that Buck will get a kick out of telling the story over and over and simple enough that Eddie can handle everything without involving one single other person.

It’s really nothing crazy: dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant and watching the sunset on the beach, brown bagging a bottle of wine like they’re in college. Eddie even knows what he’s going to say already, going over it again and again in his head so he can get everything out perfectly.

That first date, Eddie had accidentally told Buck he loved him. He hadn’t planned on it at all, but the words had been bubbling under his skin for so long at that point it was a relief to get them out in the open. He was immediately terrified he had said them too fast, too soon, but Buck simply pushed him back into the sand and kissed him soft and sincere, more teeth than anything once they both gave up on holding back their smiles.

He doesn’t want to be so caught off guard by his own brain this time. Not for something this important.

But that all has to wait until tomorrow.

Tonight, Chris is with Abuela (who slyly offered to keep him all weekend so Eddie and Buck could “celebrate properly”, which Eddie was both thankful for and mortified by, hearing from his grandma), they had ordered Chinese, and are now watching a movie that (blessedly) has no cartoon characters randomly bursting into song.

It’s normal, domestic, something they do at least once a week.

And yet Eddie feels like his skin is on fire, his heart beating so fast he’s sure it’ll break through his ribs at any moment.

He’s looking at Buck, feels his chest on his back, his strong arm around his shoulders, drawing absent-minded shapes across his chest as his attention is focused on Bill and Ted meeting Rufus in the phone booth for the first time. The light of the TV highlights Buck’s jaw and cheekbones, casts an ethereal glow on his unkempt curls. He laughs at something, a rumble deep in his chest, head tipping back slightly exposing the long line of his neck.

He’s beautiful. Stunning, inside and out. The most amazing thing that has ever deemed Eddie worthy of attention and love, aside from his son.

And if he doesn’t ask him to be his forever right now, this minute, he’s absolutely going to explode.

He’s off the couch and striding toward the bedroom before his brain even tries to stop him. He hears Buck faintly call, “Baby? Are you okay?” but is too busy rifling through his sock drawer to answer. He holds the blue velvet box firmly in his hand and takes a deep breath.

He had been waiting and planning and trying his damnedest to keep this all under wraps so by the time he asked, everything would be perfectly romantic and swoon-worthy, a story they could tell their kids and grandkids and great-grandkids to inspire them to find a love like theirs. A moment so perfect that there would be no doubts about how desperately Eddie needs Buck in his life until he’s buried in the ground, and probably even after that. Buck deserves to know that Eddie would go to the ends of the earth to make him happy, have it spelled out in the stars just how deeply he makes Eddie feel loved and safe, and that he’d do anything to make sure Buck feels that in return, always.

But, really, they’ve never been perfect. They’re messy sometimes, and gritty. Too loud or too soft or too much or not enough. They push and pull at each other in good and bad ways, sometimes too far, but sometimes just enough that they come out even better together and apart than they were before.

They’ve never been conventional. So why bother starting now?

When he comes back to the living room, Buck is standing, movie paused, worrying at his hands as he watches Eddie walk in. He freezes as Eddie comes up to him before sinking to one knee, eyes widening as the box opens, revealing a simple, black, titanium band.

And then he’s laughing. Full body, shoulders shaking, like Eddie getting ready to bare his heart and soul to him is the funniest damn thing in the world.

Before he can dive too deeply into his wounded pride, Buck’s kneeling too, placing his hands on either cheek, eyes bright with a little mischief and a lot of love as he says, “It’s about damn time, Diaz.”

Eddie blinks, feels his shoulders slump a little. He wishes he was surprised, but he’s really not.

“Who told you?”

“Oh, no one told me, like, specifically. But Maddie finding our grandma’s dress? And Athena conveniently having all of their old wedding planning stuff? Plus, Chim hasn’t been able to look at me without crying for weeks. I don’t know if you know this, but our friends are really bad at being low key.”

Oh, Eddie knows. He had just been hoping (in vain, it seems) that Buck didn’t.

He breathes out a laugh and shakes his head, leaning into Buck’s hands still framing his face. “Well, can I at least do my speech? I have it memorized and everything. It was supposed to be for tomorrow, but…” He gestures vaguely, encompassing the whole, beautiful mess this has turned into.

“Of course you can,” Buck says, his smile growing by the second. “But hurry up, because I can’t wait to marry the shit out of you.”

And who is Eddie to argue with that?

He takes one of Buck’s hands, squeezing tight. He already knows the answer, but that doesn’t make him any less nervous.

“Evan Buckley, you are the most amazing man I have ever met in my life, and probably the most annoying.” Buck laughs again at that, and Eddie feels all of his insides swoop, his heart filling with so much adoration it’s probably about to crack. “You are unendingly selfless, unbelievably headstrong, kind and gentle, but would kill a man for the people you love without thinking twice. You have shown me more about what it means to love and be loved than I ever thought I could know. You are also responsible for about 75% of my grey hairs.” They’re both crying now, not even bothering to wipe the tears away, wearing them like badges of honor for each other. “You make me a better firefighter, a better friend, a better father, and a better man. I want to spend the rest of my life making sure you know how much I love you, every minute of every hour of every day.” He takes the ring out of the box, holding it up between them. “I want to have your back forever. Will you marry me?”

He barely has the question out before Buck is tackling him to the floor, kissing him so deeply he feels it in his atoms. He gets the ring on at some point, lips never leaving Buck’s, and they get lost in each other, in happiness, in love, in excitement at getting to spend their lives together, as a family.

Nothing leading up to this was perfect. But he wouldn’t trade any of it — their chaotic lives, their ups and downs, their crazy, unsubtle family — for anything in the world.

But next time he’s planning a surprise, he will absolutely be keeping it to himself.

#buddie #9-1-1 #911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie fic #it's been TWO YEARS since i wrote anything and these two finally broke me #that and the quarantine probably #ficcery #soft eddie rights

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inawickedlittletown · 5 years ago

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Eddie Begins - Some Thoughts

I’m putting his under a cut because spoilers. Also because fair warning it’s over 3k long. I clearly had a lot of feelings.

Pretty much from the moment that we knew we were getting an Eddie Begins, anticipation has been high and boy did this episode deliver. The episode opens with Christopher’s birth and Eddie is present for it and his emotions are all over the place and so well displayed. I loved the moment when the doctor asks him if he wants to cut the cord and he says no and Shannon just roasts him right there and then “you’re an army medic, but this makes you squeamish?”. The scene does a lot to establish Shannon and Eddie and Eddie is just precious when he gets called “dad” — “I like the sound of that.”

One thing that we don’t get in the middle of all of this is the birth complications? Nothing about the scene suggest that there were any complications. Christopher is delivered, the doctor tells the new parents that it’s a boy and they have the moment about the umbilical cord. But we were told previously that Christopher was stuck and that his CP might have been a result of the birth complications. So it was interesting that we didn’t get to see that.

Next we see them post-birth in a hospital room with Eddie’s parents and we get a very interesting tidbit: Eddie’s dad was not present at either Eddie or his sisters’ births. And later in the episode, we also learn that Eddie’s dad wasn’t around much — because he was working — when Eddie was little. It’s an interesting parallel and in some ways this may even go as far as to make commentary on gender roles and how both Eddie’s mother and Shannon were primary caretakers of their children and expected to do so. It even might explain why Eddie felt like he needed to support his family by working rather than by being present.

When Shannon’s mom arrives, Eddie runs over to hug her. His parents are warm and welcoming, and Shannon is surprised but pleased and they talk about her clean bill of health and everything seems nice and happy but the set up for angst is happening because we know Shannon’s mom will get sick again and we also know that Eddie and Shannon are not going to be happy. The whole atmosphere of the room changes the moment that Eddie is asked how long he’s staying for and Shannon isn’t happy when she says that he’s only there for another week. What new mother would be happy with the prospect of her husband leaving so soon after they had a baby? But Eddie points out that the sooner he goes the sooner he returns and then returns for good. That obviously doesn’t end up working out because as we see later when Eddie is finally back, things don’t go well.

Shannon gives Eddie the necklace with the St. Christopher charm and explains what it is and Eddie vows to come back and be with his family and as the scene ends Eddie says this:

“No matter what happens, I’m always going to fight to come home to my family.”

This of course is when we get that flash forward to later in the episode when Eddie is calling on the radio that he’s alive and yet no one can hear him. It is the perfect transition into the future. The writers have done such an amazing thing in creating this episode and framing it around Eddie’s past in a way that truly gives us so much information about Eddie and yet connects us to the story at present. The placements of the flashbacks just hit so strongly.

That said, I want to write about the past on its own first.

The next time that we see a flashback it is 2015 and Eddie has reenlisted in the Army. Christopher was born in 2011, so that puts Christopher at around 4 years old and from the way that this scene plays out it’s also clear that Eddie wasn’t home long before he decided to take on another tour of duty. (Edited to add: apparently Tim says this scene was supposed to be in 2013 which still doesn’t make a lot of sense other than how young Christopher looks)

What we do know is that Eddie was not around when Christopher was diagnosed with CP and that he doesn’t understand it necessarily past knowing that his son is “sick” and that all of what comes with that is costly. We also find out during this argument that Eddie enlisted in the army after Shannon found out she was pregnant in the first place — that was his response to her pregnancy. So he wasn’t around for her from day one.

Eddie is clearly of the mind that in order to take care of his family, he must be the breadwinner and that he must support them by working and bringing in money. He needs to provide for his family. While I think that absolutely plays a part in his decision to re-enlist, Eddie also doesn’t communicate any of that with Shannon. He doesn’t listen to anything that Shannon has to say and just does what he thinks is best without consulting her and it’s a little bit heartbreaking. Shannon is also looking for other solutions. She hasn’t been working because she’s taking care of Chris and yet she offers to sell the house, the cars, and to start working but to Eddie that’s not putting Christopher first. And this disparity between them is the argument that will never end — Eddie deciding things without consulting his wife and not understanding that Shannon needed him around and that Christopher needed him around.

Shannon makes a point of telling Eddie that he’s made all the choices even while saying that he has no choice. We know because Eddie and Buck have spoken about it, that Eddie did feel like he was running away when things got hard with Christopher and Shannon and it is hard to watch it actually happen. When he goes to pick up Christopher, it is awkward and unsure and Christopher clearly doesn’t even know him and that just cuts so deep because we know the kind of relationship that Eddie has with Christopher in the present.

Next time we are in a flashback it is still 2015 (I actually 100% think they screwed up with the year though going off of how 3 months after this incident when Eddie is home Christopher is said to be 6 years old so it would be 2017...except that the last flashback we get tells us it’s 2017 so who knows). Christopher looks older through the video chat and we also learn that Shannon’s mom is sick again. And this whole sequence is all about how Eddie earned his medal and we get to see him in action. But this gives us this beautiful moment to parallel with the present where Eddie is looking at the St. Christopher medal and at a picture of Christopher and it just seems like he’s sure he’s going to die and in that moment he’s thinking back to his argument with Shannon and I think it’s a moment of realization for Eddie for how much he has missed out on knowing his son because as much as he may love him, he also isn’t there for him. As an aside I want to add that back in S2 Christopher says that he wished for Eddie to come home for Christmas one year and that Eddie did. So Christopher knows all about Eddie either from Shannon or from Eddie’s parents — but he knows all about his dad even at a young age. Enough to miss him and want him home and to love him just like any child loves their parents and it’s also something that Eddie probably doesn’t realize until much later on when he does get to be around Christopher and be his dad at last.

Eddie is injured and he gets his Silver Star and he doesn’t feel particularly deserving or heroic about any of it, but the next time we see him three months later he’s back home in Texas and the whole family is there — at least his parents, Pepa, and his Abuela are around and it’s clear that they’ve come out to Texas to see Eddie and because they’re celebrating his medal.

Eddie brings out juice for Christopher in a cup with ice and his mom immediately tells him off and while yes it’s true that Eddie may have done something wrong, his mom is also very quick to judge him and his lack of parenting skills. And what’s interesting about this moment is that when he mentions it to Shannon she has clearly been dealing with Eddie’s mom for years and likely getting the same treatment. This would have been the perfect moment for them to bond over that.

Shannon jumps into asking Eddie about going to California and the thing about the way she asks is a little bit obnoxious. In S2 Shannon and Eddie argue and Shannon says something along the lines of “you didn’t want to leave your family in Texas” and it is implied that Eddie thought he couldn’t leave the support system of his family in Texas. As we come to find out here, she meant that he literally would not leave the family that had flown in to see him on a whim just because Shannon wanted to pack up and take off the next day.

Shannon lights up at the idea and doesn’t try to understand why Eddie is so against it. She’s just ready to go and we know this is about her mom and that she’s been waiting for Eddie to be home for a long time, but I think she was pushing in a way that was always going to result in Eddie saying no. And what Eddie asks for is more time, but Shannon is done and can’t give him any more time.

“I needed more time too” is all her note reads after she leaves them.

Shannon’s feelings and actions are absolutely valid and I think she needed to leave him, but she’s also wrong in doing it the way she did instead of giving Eddie the ultimatum of: “I’m leaving. That’s that. Figure out what you want.” I’m not sure how Eddie would have taken that, but it would have gives us a different perspective of her leaving. Another point to make is that it is one thing for Shannon to abandon Eddie and another to abandon Christopher and leave him behind because she could have taken him with her. She’s his mother and she left him and Eddie is justified in being upset about that.

The next flashback places us in 2017 and Eddie is talking with his parents who are adamant about having Christopher move in with them because Eddie has three jobs and isn’t around often enough and because they have been the only constant in Christopher’s life — not Eddie and not Shannon. Eddie actually defends Shannon leaving even though he’s also angry at her. I think her mom is 100% justified in blaming Shannon for leaving her son, but it’s interesting that Eddie sees it as Shannon leaving him specifically and not necessarily Christopher. I also find it interesting that Eddie is applying to be a firefighter at this time and that he isn’t doing so in Texas — unless the FD in Texas rejected him? — but he mentions Chicago and LA and obviously we know he goes to LA but I don’t buy it that he decided on LA because of Shannon. I think it’s in part to do with Abuela and Pepa being there and that Eddie isn’t all that sure about finding Shannon. After all, we know that he doesn’t reach out to her at all until he needs to for Christopher’s school.

I find it fascinating how Eddie’s parents offer him little to no encouragement about stepping up and being a good dad. They acknowledge that Eddie loves Christopher, but then in the same breath point out how Eddie doesn’t know Christopher and how Eddie is inadequate as a father especially if he’s going to be working as a firefighter. It just in some ways drives home for me how much Eddie’s view on life has been shaped by these two people that didn’t truly believe in him and that clearly value the family unit and the idea of the nurturing mother and all of those things are still so present in him later on.

And then we get the most beautiful scene in this entire episode and it is Christopher sitting outside on his own because that kid can do whatever he wants and Eddie finds him and sits with him and they have this beautiful moment during which Eddie decides to ask Christopher what he wants and Christopher wants to be with his dad — “I missed you all the time” Christopher says and Eddie could never leave this boy ever again. And I think when they start talking about leaving that Eddie is entirely conscious of the fact that he’s going to do it against his parents’ wishes and I just love the way that he holds Christopher in that moment. It’s just precious and perfect and I love it so so much.

In the present time we have Christopher and Carla stop by the station because apparently it’s show and tell at school later in the week and Christopher is Christopher so of course he’s been searching through his dad’s stuff and he wants to take Eddie’s medal in. But before that we get a nice sequence about working radios and the look that Eddie and Bobby share when Buck fails at using his radio is so full of fond and “why do we deal with him again?” and it is perfect.

Christopher of course gets his way because he’s Christopher and both Carla and Buck are there just watching Eddie give in like they both clearly knew he would. Also, it’s interesting to note that Buck doesn’t seem to know the story of how Eddie got his medal. Then the 118 are out on a call. A boy is missing. Eddie figures out where he is — in an abandoned well — and then when it is time for one of them to propel down to get the boy, it is Eddie going down and he sounds a little like Buck when he tells Bobby that he’s the one going down there. And the audience is preparing for angst. And because this is 9-1-1, it is the perfect time for the weather to just get worse and worse.

Eddie pulls a Buck and cuts the line when he almost has Hayden and his thirty minutes are up and it is both a moment of complete trust from Eddie that the rest of the 118 will get him out of there and stupidity. And yet it just makes so much sense for him to do that when he almost had Hayden and when Eddie is sure that if he doesn’t get Hayden in that moment that the kid will likely drown.

This is the first instance of Buck panicking a little when he says “I lost the weight” and he’s confused and doesn’t want to admit what he already likely knows — that somehow Eddie is no longer attached. They all look so devastated.

The next thing that happens is one of my favorite things. Bobby immediately tells Chim he’s going down but Buck is ready to volunteer because of course he wants to go after Eddie so that he can save him. Hen points out how horrible that idea is because Buck is just as stupid as Eddie and then the two of them would be stuck down there.

In the end, Chim goes down and he finds Hayden and Eddie and Hayden is pulled up to safety while Eddie waits. This is exactly the moment when things go wrong again. Lightning strikes and Buck tackles Bobby and there’s an explosion and the truck falls and things underground are even worse than before.

Eddie is thrown about down below, but Buck is the one having a breakdown because as soon as he realizes that Eddie is in trouble, Buck throws himself to the ground where the hole was drilled and he is digging through the mud as if somehow that can get him to Eddie. Buck is desperate and devastated and his logic is all but gone as he yells and yells Eddie’s name in exactly the same way that he yelled for Christopher during the tsunami. It is absolutely heart wrenching.

Buck’s reaction here is not normal for a co-worker or for a friend. It is the reaction of someone that loves without any doubt — it is the reaction of someone that knows they could be losing someone especially dear to them. It is absolutely true that Buck and Eddie are best friends and that they are close, but this connection that they have between them just transcends that. It is more than that. As much as we know the others love Eddie, they don’t react this way. They don’t let their emotion overtake them in the same way that Buck does — Buck who doesn’t lose his composure in this way when he needs to be a professional does for Eddie. And it’s a beautiful thing whether we look at this romantically or platonically, either way what is evident is that Buck loves Eddie.

When Bobby goes to Buck, there is no quelling the desperation and it is as Buck realizes that he can’t do anything that he falls back onto Bobby and it is such a heartbreaking expression that it is difficult to not read more into what Buck may feel for Eddie.

The next thing we see is Buck cleaning his hands. He’s desperate to go back out there and find a way to rescue Eddie but no one knows quite what to do and there’s a moment when he, Hen, Chim, and Bobby are standing outside the house where it is very clear that everyone is thinking about the odds and the likelihood that Eddie is already gone and for Buck that is not an option — it’s not something he even considers entertaining. There’s a beauty to his devotion and yet so much hurt too. The others are of course not going to give up either, but they are less convinced of a good outcome.

Eddie meanwhile is stuck down there and now he’s in water and his oxygen eventually runs out and he’s basically on his last breath and in that moment where everything seems lost we hear a voiceover: “Woah, you got a kid,” it’s Buck.

It’s a flashback montage and the first thing that comes to Eddie’s mind is the moment when he tells Buck about Christopher. Yes, this is literally the first instance on the show where Christopher is brought up, but that didn’t mean that it needed to also be the first thing that starts up this flashback montage especially since the rest of the montage is out of order. Buck shows up a lot throughout all of it and the logical aspect to this is that Buck is just always around when Christopher is, but they made a conscious choice as to what would be shown and I think that does speak volumes about Buck being a part of the family. I’d love to see someone figure out if they even left out any of the moments that feature Buck with Chris and Eddie. The montage is shown while Carry You by Ruelle ft. Fleurie plays which is such a fitting song. (And I will forever give props to the person in charge of music for 9-1-1 because they always know how to pick the perfect song for every moment). We hear Eddie call the 118 his family in a small voice clip from an earlier episode and then a repetition of: “I’m always going to fight to come home to my family.” And it is Eddie fighting to get out of that water and live for Christopher.. Oh, the feels.

Meanwhile, the 118 is figuring out how to find and rescue Eddie and Buck looks like his whole world has fallen apart. He looks so close to falling apart again because by this point he must believe that they won’t find Eddie. And Eddie makes his dramatic entrance and he just pushes past some other firefighters and no one tries to grab him or stop him. Buck loses not a second to run to his side even though there are a bunch of other people around. Bobby is right there next to him and the shock that Bobby displays and the way he says Eddie’s name in that moment also says so much about Bobby being sure that Eddie was long gone.

The way that Buck holds Eddie up and actually grasps his hand is a thing of beauty. And Hen is there right behind him telling Eddie they will get him home and Eddie is still thinking about his son and the importance of making that show and tell and being there for Christopher which is what we flash to in the next moment and once more we are hit with how much Eddie treasures his son, his good luck charm.

This episode was a lot of what I wanted from an Eddie Begins. It gives us a deeper understanding of Eddie, filling in all the gaps that we could only guess at before and giving us a fuller picture of what Eddie and Christopher’s journey has been. Mixed in with that was a rescue that in some ways fit in with the flashbacks and I am so glad that we got this. And yet I also do have to say that more could have been done in terms of showing Eddie’s growth as more than just a parent because at the end of the day the episode ends up being more about Eddie becoming a father and embracing that rather than about Eddie changing and growing in other ways.

Other Meta/Reviews

#911 fox #911 spoilers #buddie #911 meta #eddie diaz #spoilers

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maroonmorons · 5 years ago

Note

Also since you said you'd like more prompts: Buck for some reason ending up holding a baby and Eddie sees it and despite the fact that they literally just got together and it is waaaay too early to think about it, Eddie's mind is already making up images of Buck holding their child while Chris peers down at his new sibling. Orrrrrr a story where Buck grows his hair out and Eddie (again) loses his shit because CURLS and the team teases him. - cinnamon roll anon

(ok so I started writing this and it got a wee bit crazy so hopefully you don’t mind adlfkslfnsdnf)

honesty means telling you the truth (buck/eddie, T, 2k) AO3

“No, Daddy!Like Bucky’s!”

Hesitantly, meeting Christopher’s eyes in the mirror, Eddielowers the brush he’d been gently working through Christopher’s curls.

“Like Bucky’s?”

“Yeah!”Christopher insists. “Down.”

He jerks his hands in a sideways motion that’s apparentlysupposed to mimics Buck’s.

“Mijo,”Eddie sighs, “I don’t know how Buck does his hair.”

“Why not?”Christopher demands, as if it’s perfectly reasonable for Eddie to ask his bestfriend about his grooming habits.

“I’m notsure. You can ask him next time you see him, okay?”

Christopher sighs but immediately pairs it with a softsmile.

“Okay,Daddy.”

“Daddydoesn’t have these luscious curls,” Eddie teases. “Daddy doesn’t know.” Heworks the brush through Christopher’s hair carefully before putting in a littlegel and tousling Christopher’s hair.

Truthfully, he’s not sure he wants to see his tiny son withsuch an adult, pulled together style. But, if it will make Christopher happy –Eddie is more than willing to adjust.

…

The day ends up being painfully long and Eddie nearlyforgets to mention the conversation to Buck.

It’s only when Buck emerges from the shower with his curlsstill doused and a towel around his shoulders to protect his fresh grey t-shirtthat Eddie thinks of it again.

“You know,Chris asked me to do his hair like yours today.”

As expected, Buck’s entire face lights up.

“No way,”he grins, “really?”

“Really,”Eddie confirms. “He said ‘like Bucky’s!’” Eddie does a purposefully silly highpitched voice to imitate his son.

Buck grins so wide his eyes all but disappear.

“He’d lookso cute. Then again…he always looks cute.”

Eddie almost puffs up his chest with pride, even thougheveryone in the station already knows how proud he is of Christopher.

“Chris is so young though,” Buck adds, expression turningsoft and thoughtful, “he should just have fun right now.”

Eddie arches a brow.

“So, youdon’t have fun anymore?”

Buck scoffs.

“Obviously,I have fun, Eddie. I just gel my hair because helmet hair, duh.”

“What aboutwhen you’re not here?”

“I don’tgel my hair when I’m just working out or chilling at home,” Buck says, shrugging.He pulls the towel from his shoulders as he approaches his locker, snapping thetowel playfully at Eddie even though they’re not close enough for it to makecontact.

“You alwaysgel your hair when I see you,” Eddie points out.

Buck is silent for long enough that Eddie looks back up frombuttoning his own shirt.

Is Buck blushing? The back of his neck and what Eddiecan see of his cheek are tinged pink.

“Just usedto it,” Buck mumbles finally.

“You justsaid you don’t gel it every morning though,” Eddie argues.

He doesn’t know why he isn’t letting it go but…well, he justisn’t.

Buck sighs, half turning to Eddie.

Yeah, he’s definitely blushing.

“It looksbetter, alright?”

“Awwww,”Eddie coos. “You make sure you look nice for me, Buckley?”

“You knowyou’re handsome,” Buck says.

His mouth does a funny little thing around the word handsome,as if he’d been about to say something else.

“Do I makeyou feel insecure?” Eddie asks, frowning now.

Buck groans in response.

“No, youdon’t. Okay? Just. Let’s talk about something else.”

Eddie finishes his shirt, letting Buck think he’s going tolet it go. Then, he crosses to his best friend and busts out his signaturemove.

His hand meets the juncture between Buck’s neck andshoulder. He presses just hard enough to convey his sincerity.

“You cantell me, Buck.”

Buck sighs and rolls his eyes quickly before meeting Eddie’sgaze again.

“My parentsgot me started doing it when I was young. So, it’s pretty much ingrained in menow.”

Eddie has to run his tongue over his teeth to keep himselffrom saying something rash.

“Well,” hesettles on, “if you ever decide to let your curls down – you’ll matchChristopher.”

It’s enough to ease a smile back over Buck’s lips and Eddiecounts it as a win.

…

>> so Friday night..

Eddie frowns at his phone screen.

Is he forgetting plans?

Friday night?

>> I could come over

Buck supplies immediately.

>> spend the night and help Chris do his hair inthe morning

Eddie smiles at the thought immediately.

sounds great

He’s definitely gonna have to take pictures.

…

The week drags its feet all the way into Friday afternoon,enough that Eddie feels like he’s going to go crazy with it.

Everything is more than ready for Buck to come over. It’s tooclean, actually.

For all the shit Eddie gave Buck about trying to look goodfor him – he’s certainly trying to look good for Buck now.

Dios mío, Eddie thinks.

It’s a good thing his best friend can be oblivioussometimes.

If only Buck knew…

But it wouldn’t be a good idea to think about that now.

Buck won’t be here in the next five minutes but he will behere soon. Not to mention, Eddie can’t sneak off when he gets here either.

So, nope. Eddie will not be thinking about what Buck lookslike fresh out of the shower. He won’t be thinking about Buck growing his hairout so it would be long enough to hold onto. No – he certainly won’t bethinking about that.

Eddie takes a deep breath and thinks about getting a glassof ice water to drink.

Yup, think about ice, Eddie. Just think about ice.

Eddie’s will is tested increasingly as the night progresses.

First of all – they have popcorn with extra butter. This hasBuck constantly touching his lips and leaving shiny smears of butter along thepink curves.

Then, of course, he’s wrapping those same lips around theneck of his beer bottle to drink from it.

And (worst of all?) when they watch Air Bud Buckcries. He tries to hide it but he’s biting at those damn lips and making theseawful snuffling sounds that make Eddie want to duck and cover his way right outof the room.

Finally, Eddie has to smack the side of his arm where it’slying across the back of the couch.

Luckily, Christopher remains oblivious between them.

What the hell? Eddie demands with his eyes.

On screen the golden retriever is eating pudding excitedly.

Judging by the tilt of Christopher’s head he’s concerned buthe’s certainly not as affected as Buck.

But Buck just squints at Eddie before hunching his shouldersand crossing his arms.

Eddie doesn’t miss the way Buck’s hand keeps sneaking up tothe corners of his eyes for the next several minutes.

Eddie doesn’t check on Buck verbally until the movie isover.

“You good?”

There – that’s safe. He could just be asking if Buck is tootired. Right? Right.

Buck shoots him a smile that Eddie examines for a longmoment before allowing himself to relax.

“Fine, Eds.You good?”

Eddie nods in confirmation and Buck immediately leans downto Chris.

“And what about you, Superman? You good?”

“I’m good,Bucky,” Christopher says, only half yawning.

“Good.”

Buck looks to Eddie again, cheeks darkening when he seesEddie still watching him.

For a split second, it sends a sliver of unease throughEddie.

Does Buck know?

He can’t.

Right?

Christopher only makes it through half the next movie beforedropping off and Eddie carries him to bed before helping Buck clean up.

He makes sure Buck’s set up in the guest room before making hisway to his own bed.

He may or may not sigh wistfully to himself on the way thereand once he’s settled in.

…

When Eddie makes his way to the coffeemaker the followingmorning he sees there’s already coffee brewed.

As he makes himself a cup, he listens to giggles coming fromthe bathroom.

By the time he walks back down the hallway there’s a smileon his face.

Buck and Christopher are side by side in the mirror,Christopher grinning into the mirror as Buck touches up the sides of hisperfectly gelled hair.

Buck’s hair is still surprisingly gel free and damp from ashower. He must have been up even earlier than Christopher.

“Okay,”Buck says, “now for the finishing touch.”

He helps Christopher put his glasses back on, fingertipslight against Christopher’s head.

“I looklike you, Bucky!”

“You do,”Buck agrees, grinning right back at the boy. “And I look like you!”

Fuck, Eddie thinks vaguely.

Buck is going to be the death of him. Sooner rather thanlater it looks like.

“Mijo, youlook so old!” Eddie teases. “When are you moving out?”

Christopher giggles.

“Never,Daddy!”

“Good.”

Eddie squeezes into the bathroom and sets his mug on thecounter so he can pick Christopher up.

“I love you,Son.”

“I love youtoo. And Bucky.”

Christopher wraps both arms around Eddie’s neck even as hesays it, so Eddie’s not too bothered.

Eddie deposits Christopher at the table in the kitchen, arelieved smile fitting itself to his lips as he sees Buck brought his coffeeout behind them.

“Thank you,”he says, accepting the mug. “Your curls are adorable, Buckley.”

Predictable, by now, Buck blushes in response.

“Well, they’renot all smooshed from my helmet or my pillow. So…they look alright.”

Eddie’s not sure he’s allowed. But he’s also not sure he’llever have the chance again.

Disguising his nerves by taking a sip of coffee, he reachesout with his left hand to run his fingers through Buck’s curls.

There’s more hair than Eddie expected and his fingers curlwithout his permission.

Before he realizes it he’s got a handful of Buck’s hair anda mouthful of coffee. Eddie’s brain is painfully unable to determine what to dowith either.

Slowly, his brain starts to crank into action again.

He lowers the mug in his right hand and carefully swallows thehot coffee. Then, he forces himself to release Buck’s hair.

“I, uh,didn’t know your hair was so long.”

“Yeah,”Buck says, “curls are, uh, deceptive. I should get it trimmed, actually.”

“Don’t.”

Fuck. You were almost out of the woods, Diaz.

“Um,” Buckhalf smiles. “Why not?”

“It…looksgood,” Eddie says lamely.

“Does itfeel good?”

“I…”

“You?” Buckprompts.

“Should makebreakfast.”

“Okay,”Buck agrees, letting him off the hook.

Eddie has a feeling it has a lot more to do with Christophersitting at the table than anything else.

…

The locker room is empty when Eddie arrives for the nextshift and he changes perfunctorily.

He doesn’t see Buck until he gets upstairs and he verynearly stops in his tracks.

Buck’s hair is defined with gel but not brushed in anyspecific direction.

He looks amazing.

More than that though, what’s got Eddie’s stomach curling inon itself, is that Eddie knows it’s for him.

Buck has a smile that looks like it’s just for Eddie as heapproaches.

Eddie can’t help but think that yeah, that smile probably isjust for him.

“Hey,” Bucksays.

“Hey,”Eddie returns.

He has literally no idea who is upstairs with them. He hasn’tlooked yet and doesn’t much care.

“Your hair looks nice.”

“Thanks.”

Buck blinks twice rapidly.

“I thought maybe if I did something for you, you’d dosomething for me?”

Even though he feels breathless, Eddie forces himself to respond;

“Yeah?”

“You couldask me on a date,” Buck suggests.

“Is thatsomething you want?” Eddie can’t help but ask.

“Don’t youalready know?” Buck demands after huffing out a laugh.

Eddie tucks his hands in his pockets and lifts both shouldersin a shrug.

“Chim, Chim,”Hen is whisper shouting, “get up here, it’s happening. It’s happening!”

Buck and Eddie both ignore her.

“Yes,Eddie, I would like to go out with you. Now, will you actually ask me out?”

“Can we grabsome dinner next time we’re not both here?”

“Yeah. CanChris come for the first part?”

He’s gonna be the death of me.

“Yeah,”Eddie agrees faintly. “He can.”

For the first part.

Still, might not be a bad way to go…

#buddie #buck x eddie #prompt #buddiefic #anon #I'm TIRED OF TUMBLR FORMATTING AND I GIVE UP #so it's cross posted #prob will upload my other prompts to ao3 as well #eventually #this has been a fic update

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