#well i did and it’s still thoroughly mediocre

[astoriachef]

Star Trek Series Rated Best to Worst

Strange New Worlds

The Original Series

Deep Space Nine

Lower Decks

Discovery

The Next Generation

Picard

The Animated Series

Voyager

Enterprise

Prodigy

Caveat: I at least kind of like all the Star Trek series. I’ve seen every episode of 1-8. 9-11 just never clicked enough to be essential viewing. There are no bad Star Trek series, only bad Star Trek Movies.

[techramonic]

An Interview with Galina Roslyakova: Vlad’s personal life according to his mother

A year after the shooting, BAZA, a Russian news outlet, interviewed Vlad’s mother Galina Roslyakova. Here are several details she had disclosed about her son:

He was gifted in drawing and engineering, however was an average student.

When he was younger, Vlad attended a kindergarten in Kerch with a chess focus. His mother considered him as a normal child who had an interest in drawing. He had hobbies such as architectural modeling, construction, and designing. He had a particular fascination with airplane models that he would try to configure by himself, although his father would occasionally help.

He then continued to paint throughout his life and excelled at it, Galina believes he inherited this skill from his father, Igor. Vlad mostly expressed an interest in drawing domestic animals and portraits of people. He focused a lot on the details.and drew rather thoroughly. Unfortunately, she has none of his drawings left to reminisce.

In school, he was “statistically average”. He studied for at least three to five hours and was in the middle line of poor to excelling. He didn't dislike nor have an interest in school and had no specific goal yet. According to Galina, “Not all dreams can be realized.” So in a pragmatic sense, his parents tried to instill something that would have perhaps helped him by trying to search for something suitable for his life and future. She had also described Vlad to be somewhat confused or unsure of himself:

“You can show a different side of yourself. You can realize yourself somewhere else. And this period of transition from school to college was somehow unconscious. A lot depends on how this might turn out. Every person's views and values ​​change. Children must realize during this period that they are growing up primarily for themselves. He understood that he was not quite a child and not quite an adult.”

Vlad did not finish highschool and went straight to college, explaining why he was 18 during his 4th year.

Galina and Igor saw no point in enrolling him into 10th and 11th grade because it was unclear to them that he would graduate at all, seeing that his academic performance was mediocre at best. During his transition from highschool to college, Galina recalled it to be a stressful experience, “just like any other transition”, she says. She had attended all parent meetings and recalled that teachers would often describe her son to be socially inept. He was not keen on socializing but she figured this must have been his way of coping with his adaptation, since it was a contrasting environment to what he was used to.

“I went to all parent meetings. At the beginning of the training they were carried out. I talked with curators and other teachers. There was a phrase that he was not very sociable . Not all people are open and ready to communicate with others. At that time it was a period of adaptation. Everyone tolerates it differently, but I wouldn’t say that he had a difficult time with it.”

More on relationships, since their house was located in a residential area not far from other neighbors who lived nearby, Vlad easily could communicate with a few neighborhood kids whom his mother considered to be his “friends”. Rather, they were his classmates. 

“I think Vlad chose exactly those friends who suited him according to his views and interests at that period of his life when he was at school. He also played Minecraft. Well, of course, communication there is no longer only with classmates.”

Vlad still kept in contact with his father despite his mother's wishes to not be so in touch.

Technically, Vlad's parents were not officially divorced. Igor’s traumatic brain injury which subsequently led to the development of a mental illness was seen by Galina as a danger toward her and her son if they continued to live together. Coupled with the fact that he developed a dependency on alcohol, she had figured out that she had to make the resolution to move out with her son to protect their well-being. Despite this, Galina mentions that even with their separation, Vlad still communicated with his father, since it is a relationship not within her control. At first, Vlad was offended but as he grew, he began to contemplate the idea of his mother’s decision. He continued to communicate with his father as he grew older.

“With age, he made his own decision. He begins to make his choice whether he should communicate with his father. What will this give him and does he need it? That is, he could decide for himself. That is, in this regard, I gave him freedom of choice.”

He would often go to the garage together on weekends, which developed Vlad's interest in technology and personal interests like motorcycles, which he would’ve liked to study. Vlad then on became a major in the course: installation, commissioning and operation of electrical equipment of industrial and civil buildings.

Signs of isolation and depression were under the radar since he barely communicated.

Apart from the detail that teachers have said he was rather not very sociable, closer to the third year he already became withdrawn and kept to himself. He would often divert this topic of his behavior as his ‘right to privacy’ whenever asked, so no further questions would ensue. He was silent most of the time, got ready to go to class straight away and sat in his room ("another office") to scroll through his phone. He was quiet, didn't talk about himself that much, which led her to not anticipate the events that would unfold soon after. However, she said that she could sense a slight change in him, since he became more private. She did respect his boundaries however, since she saw it as his right to personal space. 

“Well, slightly, so to speak. Because, in principle, many people reach such a period and age, and so, in communicating with their friends who have children of this age, many children tend to have, so to speak, personal space. Personal life, this is how the period begins. You know, like “I have the right to personal space, ‘I have the right to privacy.’ Within reason, because we live together in the same apartment”

Did he need more attention? Galina expresses that although she didn't primarily focus on him at all times, she did care for him and paid attention. She tried to make him talk and actively made efforts to communicate with him to get him to open up more about himself, however to no avail. So, in an outward perspective, everything seemed rather normal for her, and with the lack of properly established and structured communication, it was difficult to see through her son. After all, you cannot properly fit in puzzle pieces when there are no pieces provided to arrange.

It was difficult for her to speculate about the topic of whether or not he was depressed, nor did she anticipate that somehow he felt abandoned because he would often just sweep things under the rug. The signs didn’t manifest in any way in everyday life because again, he was very secretive and rarely talked about himself in conversations at home, so things easily fell out of notice and undetected.

“What percentage of love do children want to receive from us? Do we feel this as parents? Or if they tell us, let’s say: 'Well, at the technical school there were difficult tasks and classes, I’m so tired that I don’t want to communicate.' And you are trying to do everything to make contact with him. The children say: 'Well, I don’t want to now.' You won't really force him too much... But you still have to try to do it. Basically, I tried to do all this. What provoked it, I can’t say anything. For me, all this still remains a big, big secret as a mother. I cannot put together logic and specific pieces of the puzzle for myself. Therefore, everything remains like this.”

Vlad's online presence was monitored until the age of 14.

Galina had monitored his online access until he was around the ages of 13 to 14. After the age of 16, this period however stopped because of the gap between parents and their children's familiarity with devices and the technologicaĺ world. So, she stopped keeping track. 

“I wished in my heart that somewhere they had slowed him down.”

She was unaware of his online presence in crime communities since 2016. According to her, at home he only sat and played minecraft,

“I didn't see this. If a person really wants to hide something... Maybe he did it sometimes, but not in my presence. At home he sat and played Minecraft. He talked there with one, then with another, then boys, then girls - they all communicate with each other there, laugh. There were different emotions, there was laughter.”

She was aware that he went to study firearms in the summer.

Vlad shared a common interest with his father with firearms. He also said he would join the army. Galina speculated that this might be due to the benefits, since the income of military salaries was fairly high. Vlad earned an internship at a plant prior to this, and it was good news for her but in reality, Vlad's perspective was that he did not generally take a liking to the place.

According to him, “I talked to the people who work there, I don’t see much prospects in income and in general my place in this.”

During the summer, he then began to study firearms through the internet and via the Internet, register with government services, and collect documents. She was against this act because she saw no purpose to this, however, she couldn't stop him. He excused this by saying he had an interest in hunting. Though she initially thought that he had given up on this prospect and moved on, since these documents were rather complex and difficult to complete, he then went on to successfully buy a gun after passing the exams and receiving his license. 

She hadn't known of this, of course, since it was reported that he hid his gun in an abandoned warehouse to avoid speculations from her.

Here's the article, if you want to read more:

https://baza.io/posts/1b2005f5-d53e-4380-989d-b6f846cd6aab

[aguamarinee]

LOVE BITES

➪ 𝐀/𝐍.: This idea just popped into my head but it's loosely based on this request/message I got not long ago because I felt bad I didn't have an idea for it immediately, so I'm writing it now! I won't lie, it feels a bit rushed towards the end, the last lines are awkward but it's still kind of cute! (I hope)

➪ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Maki × reader

➪ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, established relationship, drabble

➪ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 0,9k

The pure bliss after completing an exam is unmatched in you every time reality hits that you're over it and walk out of the spacious auditorium.

But sadly this feeling doesn't last long, this time it's even shorter than you'd like to.

Before you have the chance to get used to it there comes the next level, knocking on that small imaginary door in your brain to ruin everything.

Anxiety and stress arrive to ruin your momentary happiness of finally finishing the exam, because no, it's obviously not over yet.

...The results have to be announced soon, and what if you didn't do well?

It's possible, of course it is.

'All is fair in love' they say, so naturally 'All is fair in school.'

You were convinced that anything can happen at this point; if you thought you did well it didn't turn out exactly well, and if you thought you did bad then it was bad, but if you thought you did mediocre, you got the best results.

Just what kind of black magic is this?

"Hey, sweetheart, what's up?" Maki came into your room unannounced, but you let him in without question. Since you didn't even notice the fact that someone else is inside other than you.

He curiously called for your attention, emphasizing the nickname he usually calls you by, because you didn't react immediately like you would in general.

You gazed at one specific spot on the floor, seemingly examining it very thoroughly, but actually you were spaced out, biting your lips a bit too hard while thinking about the results you should get in the next 24 hours.

Lip-biting while being nervous was a long-term developed habit of yours, as soon as you were unsure about something you pursed your lips and pressed them too much with your teeth. Sometimes you would even bite the inside of your cheek in even tougher situations but that wasn't that noticeable from outside.

Maki didn't like to see you stressed and uncertain, it made him feel sad to see his significant other gloomy so these times he made big efforts in cheering you up.

And by now he was a pro at sensing when you were in this type of mood, also it wasn't hard to observe your small habits because your mood changed with them too... and biting your lips sometimes resulted in some bruises on the soft flesh, easy to see for the human eye too.

And his favorite spot was to kiss you on your mouth so he knew he has to come up with something this instant to wake you up from your daze.

He didn't wait long after realizing that you were spacing out, so with a small step he appeared in front of your sitting form, bending his knees a little bit to get a better look at your face and softly putting his hands into your cheeks he diverted your attention to him. Then he smiled.

"Everything alright? You're biting your lips again." He spoke sweetly but there was an edge to his second sentence, you knew how he didn't cherish this habit of yours for a number of reasons.

"I was just thinking about today's exam, I don't how I did and now I'm nervous because of the results. Just the usual." You laughed at the end, attempting to ease the mood.

Maki frowned and cupped your face, ready to give you a comforting kiss but stopped himself.

"You're biting your lips too much, look there's already a slight bruise developing..." He scolded you lightly. "I don't like seeing your pretty mouth get all reddish, you should take care of it." He continued and pressed his forehead to yours with a sigh.

"It's a habit, it will be fine in days, it's not that big of a deal." Your eyes bore into his as you answered a bit nonchalantly, not understanding his worried state over some simple bruises.

"Just stop biting your lips— or next time I'll be the one biting them." He said confidently and gave you a silly wink.

Suddenly you felt tempted to test the waters behind his suggestion, so you bit your lips again, a bit more firmly this time and Maki immediately crashed his lips on yours.

But he wasn't kissing you properly, he just kept his mouth there, snuggly pressed to yours so your lips couldn't even more.

A couple of moments later he released you, but still held your face and you saw a spark of mischief in his chocolate brown eyes.

"...Maki, this was a kiss, not a bite." You told him after you played back the fresh events in your head and looked at him from under your lashes.

"It was a love bite." He answered proudly, smiling at his tender joke, and attempt to cheer you up or divert your attention from a dry topic such as school.

"Okay, if you say so..." You rolled your eyes with a laugh and he was proud to see you were smiling again.

"Now let's eat something, I'm actually starving!" He said after a short pause, making you laugh out loud for a moment by his sudden statement.

A second later the two of you were off to the kitchen to prepare some snacks and enjoy some time together in the afternoon to casually relax, and unwind beside each other.

➪ 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 【𝐌 𝐀 𝐒 𝐓 𝐄 𝐑 𝐋 𝐈 𝐒 𝐓】 !

[akehoshimystar]

Chapter 4

Takeru: As evenly as possible... Oh yeah, beautiful. Every movement should be done with love and elegance.

Ito: Yes.

Inside the store, where a course on bar counter work was being conducted with full attention… Things went smoothly than I had imagined.

Ito: (It's just as they said, he doesn’t let his guard down and settle for mediocrity. Every little detail was checked thoroughly.)

(It feels more like careful instruction than rigorous barbarism.)

Takeru: OK. It’s serving time.

Ito: Sorry to keep you waiting. Here are the mixed nuts.

Shinobu: Thank you.

Oh, it's mixed so evenly and beautifully! Now this is what they call mixed nuts.

I haven’t seen much of this recently, so it's pretty refreshing.

Ito: Is it a menu item that wasn’t served often?

Shinobu: That's not the case, but there are a lot of regular customers who want only the things they like to be served.

By the way, Roka-san’s favorite combination is walnuts and cashew nuts.

Ito: Woah, what a high-calorie combo...

Shinobu: His favorite things tend to have tons of calories like cheap snacks or fast food, and his staple food is sugar, which is nowhere near healthy at all.

Yet he never puts on weight. I wonder why.

Takeru: Well, he makes a lot of unnecessary movements.

Shinobu: Totally.

Ito: (I doubted that reason is enough to convince me.)

(If he’s in his mid-30s with that diet, those beautiful skin and figure are most likely fake...)

Takeru: Speaking of Roka, I wonder what he’s up to these days. He’s still alive and kicking and just goes anywhere.

Shinobu: If you send him a LIME message, you'll get a reply, but it remains a mystery what he’s doing.

The other day, he said, "I had a great idea, I'm going to build a sauna!"

Ito: A sudden construction, huh…

Shinobu: Yuki-san even received a video of him dancing samba in the Indian neighborhood in Singapore.

Takeru: That person is really the same fool no matter where he is. It’s actually a relief.

Shinobu: It makes me feel like he is alive and well no matter how drunk he becomes.

Takeru: If that’s what you grasp then I see no problem. He must have given a more thorough update to Kiho.

Let's just be patient and wait for that cheerful jester to come back in good health.

Ito: Kiho-san... Ah. Arima-san from Negotiation Dept.?

Takeru: Yup. Arima Kiho.

Those two have known each other since before Aporia was established. In fact, the store itself was started by Roka and Kiho.

Ito: I see...

(... So that means Arima-san is essentially the other owner?)

Kiho: Nice to meet you.

Ito: (I thought that personal interview was just like a second interview...)

(If anything, it was a direct interview with the president. Thanks god I hadn’t realized back then, it would have made me even more nervous.)

Shinobu: By the way, Mika-nee was also a member from the start. The rest were Riku-san and Sei-san... Did I get that right?

Takeru: Sei joined later. Well, it was about 6 months, less than a year, so we practically started on the same year.

Shinobu: What! I didn't know that. A shocking truth despite being here for three years.

Ito: (Riku-san is also from the Negotiation Department if I’m not mistaken? .…I guess it's a department with many people who've been here since the beginning.)

Takeru: The shocked one should be me. Third year in and you’ve just learned about this?

But, yeah. It's already been three years since Shinobu came here, huh…... Has it been that long already?

Takeru: Time really flies, doesn't it?

Ito: (...Mika-san?)

Mika-san's tone was normal, but there was something about his words that I couldn’t help but think there’s a hidden implication.

Ito: (I probably shouldn't pry in.)

After deciding my action…. Just as I was about to quietly look away...

Ito: (Ah….)

Mika-san noticed my gaze before I could even do that and gave me a slightly troubled smiled.

Mika: Never mind that. Old story is just going to make me older, so let's stop here.

Ito: It’s okay….

Shinobu: But I love old story that I don't know.

Speaking of the original members... Oh yeah. Maochi-san’s sister was there too, wasn’t she?

Ito: Eh. Really?

Shinobu: Maybe. By the time I joined, she had already quit, so I never get to meet her.

Takeru: Now what is this? You don't know when Sei joined, but you know that?

Shinobu: A while ago, Maochi-san said it while drinking. Uhmmm, it’s definitely not Maki-san…. Maho-san doesn’t ring a bell either...

Takeru: Mayu. The reliable ghost Mayurin, right?

Shinobu: Oh, that's right. Mayu-san!

Ito: The reliable ghost…?

Takeru: A free-spirited person with an unparalleled wandering habit that rivals Roka. Also, her ability to act accordingly and agility on her feet are extraordinary…..

She’s more like an alien than a free spirit, though. Their faces may be similar, but her personality is polar opposite of Mao's.

Shinobu: Nyahaha. I see.

Are you still in contact?

Takeru: Almost never. I send her a message occasionally, and she’ll reply when I've forgotten about it, but seriously, I have no idea what she has been doing.

At least, I get a letter or postcard from her family’s house about once a year saying, "I'm still alive."

Shinobu: So you were reminded of her every time that happens, right?

Takeru: I think so.

Shinobu: I see. That's kind of nice actually.

Takeru: The staff at this store really are like jellyfish, both now and then. They’re always floating around and restless.

Shinobu: Well, this isn’t about Roka-san.

That kind of person probably live happily no matter where they are, right?

So, everything should be alright.

Ito: …….

Takeru: Yeah. Well, once we have a chance to reunion, let's all have a drink together.

We've been talking for a while now. Shall I teach you how to open and pour wine bottle next...?

Ito: Oh. Yes, please.

Takeru: Everything’s alright? I think I just saw your soul leaving your body.

Shinobu: For work’s sake, Gucchi tormented her. There’s just no way she’s not exhausted...

Ito: Oh, I’m fine, really. Thank you for your concern.

Takeru: …….

Ito: Wine lesson, right? Can I borrow your sommelier knife?

Takeru: .…….Sure. It should always be here, so feel free to use it.

Then let's start with the easy one like resin cork

Ito: Yes.

"Everything should be alright." Without trying to figure out what it was, I shook off the indescribable feeling I felt the moment Aizawa-kun spoke those words cheerfully. That is something that I shouldn’t touch. Mika-san probably noticed my curiosity, but he didn't come looking for me either. The training ended without incident, and the atmosphere became peaceful again.

Takeru: …..It must be inconvenient for young lady to have to change clothes in the office bathroom every time. Let's think of something.

Ito: It's pretty spacious and clean, so I have no problem....

……By the way, “young lady”?

Takeru: Hmm? It's a nickname. Calling someone "deputy" isn't very cute.

Milady is too inconvenient for me, so I'll go with young lady. You’re the only girl right now, so I thought it wouldn't be too much of a problem.…. You don’t like it?

I'll listen if you have any name request. How about Cleopatra or Patra for short?

Ito: Ah, young lady is fine. I'm honored actually.

(So it really is a young lady. Thanks god, Shigeta-san was just about to call me "big sister" so I assumed that's what he meant...)

 (......Hmm?)

Shinobu: ......Yeah. I'll ask them now.

Knock knock

Shinobu: May I come in?

Ito: Go ahead.

Shinobu: Good work.

Aizawa-kun opened the door and came in. Looks like he’s on the phone with someone.

Shinobu: It’s Akke, seems like everyone from the dorm is having a drinking party tonight.

Takeru: Sure, sure. The same as always, right?

Ito: The same as always?

Takeru: The guys from the dorm often drink and eat at their residence. Me, Mao, and Kou-chan tend to join in too.

Shinobu: Today, Akke, Kou-san…. and Shizuka-san is there too! Would you like to come?

Ito: (Fushimi-san... I haven't had a chance to say hello to him in person yet.)

.….Thanks for the invitation. I would love to join if you don’t mind.

Takeru: Well, I was planning to ride motorbike home today... but I’ll go too! Consider it Ito's welcome party.

Shinobu: Yay. Did you hear that? Yeah, all three of us are going. Anything we should buy? Hmmm...

Ring ring

Takeru: Oh, now it’s my phone’s turn. Excuse me for a bit...

……..Tohru-chan?

Ito: Eh?

Shinobu: From Tohru-san?

Takeru: Apparently….

Takeru: Hello, Mika’s speaking………..….. Hello? Tohru-chan…….... Are you crying?

Shinobu: ………..

Takeru: It's okay, it’s okay. Can you tell me what's wrong?

…….! Right now? Is he heading over there?

Ito: (Could it be……)

Takeru: ...There's no doubt about it.

Kuchiki is near the apartment right now.

Ito: …….!

Chapter 5

[think-pieces]

Sunjoy signing on,

It has been too long my friends. So let's get into it

bridgerton season 3.

the disappoint that radiated throughout me was unparalleled to anything before. Now I've heard on the streets that they fired ("replaced") the show runner (producer one of those head honchos who makes final decisions on things) with someone else. which makes sense; considering this seasons tone and Season 2's tone are completely different. In the way that, two different people created those seasons. It wasn't a case of natural progression.

now there was no number 1 worst part for me. it was all around bad in my opinion.

The writing was weak, mediocre. The acting was okay. The sex scenes weren't all that great for me. (I skipped all of them honestly). The ending sequence wasn't my favorite. and the costuming.

where to even begin on that?

Let's open with the makeup. The smokey eye? the Full Face Beat? The NAILS?? only maybe one or two dresses weren't all that bad on the main cast.

it was, just all around disappointing for me. Primarily because it's now regency inspired and not a Regency Romance. It's very lackluster. I feel at this point they could've made 8 movies instead of an 8 season show. The two earlier seasons were excellent. They leaned into the regency aspect of it. Focused on a "women's role", and gave the characters true agency. I genuinely (for the most part) felt as though I was watching people who happened to be filmed. This season felt filmed in a bad way.

I have read the series and I loved it. There were some things in any media that I could take or leave, but for the most part I thoroughly enjoyed them. The regency did take a back burner but it was acceptable since it was more about character thoughts and observations. It was a little picture so to speak. The show is big picture. Season 1 growing into Season 2 was amazingly done. You can tell that the show runner made improvements for the better and tried to understand the rules of regency and build up on this world they created. Season 3, didn't grow into a better world. it became lackluster and grey.

I felt season 1 was steamier than season 3. despite them saying "it's the sexiest one yet." I call bullshit. Maybe it's the approach But I found season 3 to be like, actors standing on their mark and saying their line. not people having a conversation or interaction.

not to mention all the storylines they do NOTHING with. I mean nothing. not a damn thing with them!. Eloise's storyline for instance was fine, it went a totally different way than I could've anticipated, just lackluster.

Colin and Penelopes storyline? meh. and I'm gonna bare my soul when I say this, I didn't like their book. I didn't. I'm not a fan of the "Character A waiting for forever for Character B to notice them." type of thing. it makes it, sad for me. I digress.

I did however LOVE Francesca. I wasn't a fan of her book (lot of porn not enough plot for me). So this brought a whole new love to her and John's story for me. A deeper meaning to their marriage as well. I didn't like her ending. Mostly because I enjoyed the "Character B struck by lightning of being in love" moments (Michaela/MIchael being character B) and I felt robbed.

all this to say. I will still watch season 4, I might not finish it (looking at you house of dragon season 2 last four episodes). But I will at least check it out.

Unfortunately I'm not in a visuals mood tonight so, apologies for no photos or end song videos.

Sunjoy signing off

[scorpio-karma]

I honestly really don't get it, why after all these years, are people still obsessed and invested in TVD or with the cast? That show nothing but a complete shit show and dumpster fire garbage from start to finish (though the first few seasons did a better job in hiding it, because the show had promise and potential). Nothing  but one problematic thing after another and just so much negativity and toxicity surrounding it. And a lot of your stances raise a lot of questions and put a lot of things into perspective for me. 

First, it's so funny to me that you single out Nina for being a mediocre actress and using that as a reason to say her career after TVD flopped, or that she hasn't done anything since leaving the show. Because the majority of the TVD/TO cast (with the exception of only a few select), were also mediocre and not particularly good either. And honestly, what did you expect from a CW show, of all things? Also, the other cast members haven't done anything or gotten jobs after TVD either. 

Second, only singling out Nina for being problematic and doing shady things, when all of the TVD cast, including your dear and lovely Kat Graham, have done a lot of fucked up, problematic, and shady shit as well. Absolutely none of them are innocent or saints. Ian acted like a straight up, petty, and bitter manchild after he and Nina broke up and he got with Nikki Reed, while Nina handled that whole situation with grace and maturity, even with how shitty both Ian and Nikki treated her. On top of that, he's a fucking abuser who threw away Nikki's birth control pills, coerced her into pregnancy, and bragged about it publicly on a podcast as if it was something to be proud of. 

Third, singling out Nina for supposedly being racist (which to my knowledge, I've never seen her make any racist posts or comments), but say fuck all about Matt Davis, the biggest racist piece of shit in the whole show. Or Nate Buzolic, who on top of being racist, is also a raging homophobic and anti abortion rights. Most of the men on the show have done way worse than Nina or any of the girls, yet I don't see any posts from you calling them out on their shit behavior. Because as always, men can do the most abhorrent shit, they can be racist, homophobic, sexist, misogynistic, they can abuse, rape, or even kill somoene, and still have people defend and support them. But god forbid women aren't perfect and have flaws or make mistakes and fuck up. 

And you all wonder why the TVD fandom had such a bad rep back then, and still continue to have such a bad rep now. The very definition of toxic. 

First of all sweetie, you seem to be responding to some old ass posts from like 2019, so you the one that's still obsessed. Second of all, if you searched my Tumblr thoroughly (which I know is hard given Tumblr piss poor searching system) you'd find posts critical of all cast members. In fact, I'm pretty sure the only one I'm not critical of is Trevino because he knows when to stay quiet. And lastly, I'm definitely only skimming that whole message because you're clearly an unhinged Nina fan who went searching for shit to be mad at since they're tagged as "anti" meaning your not the audience for these opinions. Maybe find more recent and relevant criticisms before blowing up someone's inbox anonymously with a dissertation as to why they're wrong. In fact, maybe put this in an actual response to that post so they know what the fuck you're going on about.

[inflammatory]

( @deactivated1987 ) LOL it’s time for my eternal sunshine treatise. I think the premise made me expect way too much of it cause it sounded up my alley - memory stuff, unconventional structure, the whole brainscape thing, and most importantly I’m really into messy breakup plotlines. but i feel like a lot of the potential was squandered

Main offenders imo were the script and the score, i hate to use the word “cringe” because I’m tryna be credible here but to me it was. You could write it off as the awkwardness of navigating relationships, but I think with the heinousness of the first few scenes of them and the non-linear progression it set for me a weak foundation for the skip to them broken up and her memories erased. Kate winslet said “I apply my personality in paste” and i went naoooouuuuuurr noooaaaaoooo this cant be happening. I get that for most people it seems to work though judging from the 4.2 on letterboxd. However i get secondhand embarrassment really easily and cant deal with persistent awkwardness

I also feel like the emotional core of the movie hinges on the chemistry of the relationship and i couldnt see a single thing either of them might like about each other. He’s a white man with a journal and she’s a girl who dyes her hair, ok. Script comes into play again - with relationship dramas I attest that it all depends on how your leads talk to each other - just straight up talk yknow. Both Winslet and Jim Carrey were quite definitely cast against type and in my opinion it shows because the line delivery rarely hits smoothly. Here it’s difficult to skilfully portray a relationship breaking down if your justification for them being together in the first place is poor - breakups hurt because of love, and most of that is done through scenes of them lying together on the frozen river (pretty scene, I liked it at least), being physically intimate, and, again, the weird timeline conversations that I loathed. So i wasn’t sold on their connection beyond the surface level. Felt like when my friends have boyfriends who are bordering on invertebrate organisms

With a connection that’s weak I think the punch of the argument scenes falls short. And there are so many of them, so to me they just fall out of the sky like birds. And that’s crazy of me to say because arguments are probably in my top 3 best things in the whole world. I feel the autobiographical nature of the male lead keenly in his regular just some guy eyes. His contributions to the supposedly vicious arguments are mediocre. Because I think the movie leans towards the vilification of the lady. Where she’s the unreasonable one, claiming she’d be a great mother and everything when she’s like deeply fucked in the head et cetera. I support the sentiment of manic pixie dream girls asserting their personhood and autonomy (but i also prefer my off putting women with swag and self awareness). Overall I don’t think she’s well written per se, but she’s definitely the most written out of everyone else there. If pressed i can respect that they made her thoroughly unlikeable on purpose and leave it at that. It’s still a paean to the age old story lick that goes “this pretty and interesting young woman approaches you, yes, you, ordinary man, and is interested in you, you, journal writing white man who is a vehicle for the man writing the journal of this story, and your breakup will be 90% her impulsive fault and not yours”.

Bits of the movie that are also meant to be comedic i think? Really didn’t work for me either. When the medical staff were partying in his house I was too deeply scandalised to suspend my disbelief. When he was his toddler self under the table I had to politely avert my eyes. The score exacerbated all of this

Before this movie I didn’t have a rating system because i felt bad rating movies and the reason I have one now is because I wanted to rate eternal sunshine 1 star. In all fairness the 1/2 star is because i realised i could make it even lower and did so out of the rage of freshly finishing it. Retrospect I’d maybe add a star for the scene where he lifts the pillow up from smothering her and she’s disappeared. But i won’t because i think my vendetta is set in stone by now

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis Score Guide

Here's a helpful guide as to what the scores I give out mean.

EVILNESS

This score doesn't really effect the overall score of the villain in question, it's more just a way to show how evil they actually are.

1: Barely a villain. A villain in name only, or a really dark anti-hero. Probably ends up swirching sides to the good guys with little provocation. Think Kronk from The Emeperor's New Groove.

2: Jerks, bullies, and other dickheads. Not really evil, but they're genuinely unpleasant and antagonistic. Think various anime or RPG rivals like Blue Oak, Seto Kaiba, or Silver.

3: Tragic villains. Sure, they committed murder. Maybe they framed someone for a crime. Perhaps they made some horrible choices that cost people their lives. But they aren't completely bad, and the narrative goes out of its way to paint a picture of a flawed but not irredeemable antagonist. Think Pterano from The Land Before Time VII.

4: Just a straight up awful person. They go beyond being a jerk, but their villainy is still relatively tame in the grand scheme of things. Think Vicky from Fairly OddParents.

5: A balanced villain. This is a villain where they are most definitely not a good person, and they do commit some evil acts, but the narrative either doesn't make clear how bad what they did really is or otherwise has some level of sympathy for the villain to make their poor moral choices understandable. Think Princess Azula of Avatar: The Last Airbender or Patrick Bateman of American Psycho (the latter is an extremely complicated case, though).

6 - 7: A real bad guy. Your typical villain you'd see on a kid's show, where they want to do something really broad like take over the world/city/tri-state area, but never really go much further than that. Think villains like Mojo Jojo from Powerpuff Girls or Plankton from SpongeBob SquarePants. The higher the number, the badder they are.

8: A "well-intentioned" villain. A villain who commits horrible acts, but has some level of reasoning behind them that might make you nod and go, "Huh, they might have a point." Of course, they probably don't and are just using a thin veneer of nobility to excuse their horrible actions, and are more driven by their own egos than good intentions. Think Thanos from the MCU, Senator Armstrong from Metal Gear Rising, or Enrico Pucci from Stone Ocean.

9: A morally reprehensible bastard. A thoroughly rotten villain with maybe a few faint glimmers of good in them, but they're pretty far gone and revel in being bad too much. Manfred von Karma of Ace Attorney would land here.

10: A complete monster. They are absolutely, utterly irredeemable and commit some of the most heinous acts imaginable. Think serial killers like Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs and John Doe from Se7en (or Kevin Spacey in real life).

VILLAIN SCORES

These are what the actual ratings I give the villains mean.

1: The worst.

2: Mediocre villains. Bland, boring, not the worst but who honestly cares about these guys? This is the score that a generic military leader bad guy or a low-tier Bond villain would get.

3: A hilariously bad villain. Don't get it wrong, they still fail in numerous ways, but they fail in extremely entertaining ways that honestly make them better than villains with 4 and 5 scores.

4: A below average villain.

5: An average villain. They're serviceable.

6: An above average villain, though they probably aren't going to be anyone's favorite.

7: A really solid villain, though one that really could have used more fleshing out to really shine. It's the sort of score a perfectly average one-shot villain might get.

8: A truly great villain, though they're held back by a few flaws.

9: A fantastic villain, though not quite perfect.

10: The best of the best.

10.5: This is the only fractional score that deserves its own entry, because it denotes a villain who is great and iconic, but who hasn't left a massive impact on culture as of yet.

11: A villain who has literally changed fiction as we know it with their presence. We're talking Darth Vader, Fu Manchu, the Wicked Witch, Count Orlok and Count Dracula... These are the guys who come to mind when you think "villain."

[blackboar]

Can you talk about George's treason in detail? How did his relationship with Edward IV of England deteriorate?

I assume you mean Clarence's treason.

I think that Clarence's part of the well-known category of younger brothers who can't stand their position (TM). I unfortunately didn't read Hicks' works on him which seems to be the most important one on him. So it's possible I thoroughly change my mind after that.

Anyway, Clarence's relationship with his brother(s) was always doomed to be at least complicated and it's a fair bit Edward IV's fault. He was immensely generous in terms of land grants toward his brother while completely cutting him off when it came to responsibilities and access. Basically: he gave him weapons to betray him but little ways to help him. And on top of that he remained very ambiguous on whether he or his daughter Elizabeth would succeed him in the years 1466-1470. So even chance didn't favor their entente.

Clarence betrays in favour of his father-in-law around the late 1460s. That makes sense considering everything Warwick give him ( his inheritance through marriage, an affirmation of his potential regal status, responsibilities) and he reverts back simply because the Lancastrian cause cannot be enough to attract him both in material and personal interests. After coming back, trust was at least fairly broken and while I don't think Edward intended to get rid of his brother at all, he very much intended to lower his might. There was basically a containment policy from Edward on Clarence's power, which included:

Act or resumptions taking back numerous land grants made to him both during his rule and the Readeption

Tacit support of Gloucester's attempt to get his share of Warwivk's inheritance

Making sure Clarence does not make foreign alliance, wether France or Burgundy.

Clarence didn't take it well. Parallel to that were his numerous personal enemies, Woodvilles first among them. I think Clarence's became increasingly wary of his brother and discontent, even impatient about a change in position. I think the trigger was the missed chance of a remarriage between Clarence and Mary of Burgundy which would finally give George a place and an objective and was dismissed by Edward. The psychological blow of his wife's death didn't help.

Clarence snaps and makes..... mediocre intrigue and bad plots. When you read what happens in 1477-8 it does not show Clarence as some mastermind but more like a depressed impatient discontent acting out. He killed his servant on false charges of murdering his wife, try to predict his brother's death and plotted some abortive uprisings. He was thoroughly alone and his attempts were pathetic and predictable failures, except if the goal was to provoke. And provoke it did. The Woodvilles certainly pushed for his demise, and Gloucester was certainly willing to get rid of him. Nobody was willing to help an unpredictable magnate who pushed for instability. He seems to have been popular amongst the Commons of London but that didn't help him considering his trial was amongst the Peerage. Few wanted to help him, many were willing to throw him under the bus. Edward IV was still the one deciding his brother's fate. He could have spared him. He could attaint and exile him. But he chose otherwise, I think because he was scared for his son's fate. This was an unprecedented choice to publicly sentence his own brother to death. I think it shows from Edward's part an end of any patience toward his brother, which made his fate.

To sum it up: Clarence who probably suffered from some mental disorder, made the worst choice possible. He was simultaneously overmighty and utterly weak and isolated. That pushed his foes and his brother(s) to get rid of him because of his numerous errors in 1477-8. He was tired of his position, and they were tired of him.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 20/04/2024 (Sabrina Carpenter, Dua Lipa, Perrie Edwards)

Hozier sticks to a second week at #1 on the UK Singles Chart with “Too Sweet” and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we actually have a bit of a massacre so we must bid adieu to: “7 Minute Drill” by J. Cole (that one we literally say farewell to, it’s been deleted), “Cinderella” by Future and Metro Boomin featuring Travis Scott, “Make You Mine” by Madison Beer, “CARNIVAL” by Hitler and Goebbels featuring Rich the Kid and Playboi Carti, “Made for Me” by Muni Long, “bye” and “yes, and?” by Ariana Grande, “Would You (go to bed with me?)” by Campbell and Alcemist, assisted by a remix with Caity Baser, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong, yes, really, “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift and finally, even though we all know it’ll be back, “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers.

It actually turns out that the most interesting stories here outside of the top 10 and new tracks… are the returning entries, because there are quite a few, they’re quite high and also quite - at least tangentially - related to a cultural event. Firstly, we have the release of a biopic revolving around the late singer Amy Winehouse who has captivated audiences long after death and the recent release of Back to Black, as well as its soundtrack, mostly a compilation of Winehouse’s songs and her influences, has propelled the studio album of the same name to #22 on the album chart whilst giving some of her legacy catalogue a solid boost. The song of the same name, “Back to Black”, had several initial runs from 2007 to 2008, peaking at “only” #25, but returned with stride after her passing to find a new peak of #8 in 2011. At #1 that week was “She Makes Me Wanna” by JLS featuring Dev. The charts don’t always reflect what music actually stands the test of time, let’s just say that. Today, it’s at #51. An even more storied chart run comes in at #44 with “Valerie” by Mark Ronson featuring Amy Winehouse. Ronson’s version largely eclipsed the original Zutons version released the year before. The Liverpool indie rock outfit peaked at #9 with their version, whilst Nelly Furtado’s “Maneater” topped the charts, but by the time Ronson and Winehouse came along, the chart was instead reigned by Sugababes with “About You Now”, which halted “Valerie” from hitting #1. Similarly to “Back to Black”, it did return to the chart after her passing though not very high, so I assume that it must have some degree of prominence in the biopic, I’ve yet to see it.

As for our two other re-entries, they somehow have even more chart history dragged into them, so bear with me. Paul Simon wrote “The Sound of Silence” and recorded the track as a member of Simon & Garfunkel in 1964, and despite this being the most prominent and successful version, hitting #1 Stateside, it somehow never once appeared on the UK Singles Chart in any form until long after, specifically in 1966 when an Irish pop group The Bachelors covered it, basically taking any steam off of the original by peaking at #3. The Spencer Davis Group’s “Somebody Help Me” was #1 at the time. It wouldn’t appear on the charts again until damn near half a century later in 2012, when viral acoustic singer Kina Grannis took it to #93. However, and I really wish I couldn’t say this, the most successful cover may be from nu metal band Disturbed, who reached mainstream success worldwide by covering the track in 2016, by then it had been thoroughly memed to death as well as being a long-term pop staple, yet it still worked. Their mediocre version peaked at #29 and now it’s back at #47 because of an inexplicable, practically unlistenable house remix by Australian DJ CYRIL that Paul Simon could probably sue for murder. I didn’t like the Disturbed version, but this is a new level of groanworthy.

As for our final re-entry, we should look towards the album charts, wherein Oasis’ 1994 debut Definitely Maybe is actually down a full positions, lower than other Oasis albums. The irony in that is that it’s the iconic Britpop band’s 20th anniversary this past week, with them releasing special physical editions of their debut single “Supersonic” to mark the occasion. It never really peaked that high to begin with, only at #31, but it did stick around and return for several runs for basically most of the 1990s, only to return once again this week as our highest re-entry at #42.

The gains are a lot less interesting but there are still a handful of notable boosts, namely “Jump” by Tyla, Gunna and Skillibeng up to #38, “Good Luck, Babe!” by Chappell Roan at #33, “I Don’t Wanna Wait” by David Guetta and OneRepublic at #25 (Jesus Christ), and finally, “Hell n Back” by Bakar nearing its old peak at #21.

This week, our top five on the UK Singles Chart consists of: “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” by Beyoncé holding at #5, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims floating at #4, “i like the way you kiss me” by Artemas smooching its way up to #3, Benjamin of Boontown is at #2 with “Beautiful Things” and of course, Hozier still at #1. Now, there’s actually quite a lot to discuss in our new entries, despite the fact that Taylor is still a week away yet, in fact this might end up the more interesting week because no-one is dropping the same day as her. So let’s review them, shall we?

New Entries

#49 - “We Still Don’t Trust You” - Future and Metro Boomin featuring The Weeknd

Produced by Metro Boomin, Peter Lee Johnson and MIKE DEAN

Yup, all of our new entries are within the top 50 this week, and most of them well into the highest reaches of the chart. Given Taylor only has three songs coming next week, I’m pretty excited for a from-the-top shake-up that won’t be immediately torn down… at least until the temporary Eurovision blockade, but we’ll deal with that when it comes to it. For now, I had only heard one of the songs debuting this week before today, and it was this one, the intro and title track to the second of the Future-Metro collaboration tapes, which debuted at #11 on the albums chart this week. Not every track hits on this second album, but if you remember what I thought about the first album, you’d recall I preferred the hazier, more melodically-focused pop-trap that was prevalent through the middle section, and this new record is essentially an extended version of just that with a triumphant victory lap full of bangers on the back-half bonus disc to balance things out. Future is a lot more emotive, Metro is delivering beautiful cloudy soundscapes, and the hooks are catchier than ever, though it’s not nearly as immediate so I understand that it performed less successfully even if it is a damn shame. It also means we only have the first track here, which is barely even a song ultimately, more so an extended, hallucinatory introduction blending punchy synthpop drums with garbled psuedo-hooks about freaky girls from Future, a looming falsetto from The Weeknd over a borderline nu-disco groove and semi-verses that don’t really form into a complete song. In the album context, this is a brilliant introduction to where the album will take you: a late-night drive taking your mind off “the hoes” so to speak. As a charting single by itself, it’s honestly just weird. Other than being the intro to an album most people I imagine didn’t finish all the way through, I don’t understand why “All to Myself” didn’t take this one’s place. I guess it didn’t have the video treatment but regardless, weird single to push, even if it’s a great moment.

#46 - “KiKi (What Would Drizzy Say?)” - D-Block Europe

Produced by Eight8, Harry Beech and Ari Beats

Well, Drake’s in the news thanks to all the dissing back and forth so being the young brilliant entrepreneurs they are, DBE pushed out a song with him in the title, in a vague reference to Drake’s own “What Would Pluto Do” but a much less vague, openly cheap interpolation of Drake’s “In My Feelings”, and the chart history did not stop with our re-entries as if there’s a coherent theme with some of these new tracks, it’s egregious referencing. “In My Feelings” samples a plethora of tracks in the first place, but none as explicitly as DBE have riffed from it here. The original spent four weeks at #1, but I don’t see Young Adz’s nasal auto-croon rendition getting any higher than #46. I actually feel kind of relieved with this because this is back to the stupid, barely functioning DBE of old (and by old, I mean the late 2010s), with a terrible bass mastering job, overly loud flutes that nearly drown out Adz himself attempting to sing his way out of his lack of content, in the same melody as Drake’s chorus until he just starts talking instead midway through. Some of the 2020s improvements are actually present here though; Youthful Advertisements has much tighter rhyme schemes once he actually starts rapping, and they aren’t as audibly out of tune or beat with everything else as they probably would be if they tried this out when the original was big. He also puts a shell in his back like he’s a turtle, tells the girl to close her mouth and leads into Dirtbike Lb’s small contribution, a brief, half-dead and wordy verse that still washes Adz: this is what I’ve come to expect from the duo. There’s not much of an attempt at wordplay but cool turns of phrase that kind of imply he thinks Hermés is the name of the crocodile they killed to make the bag and not just the brand name… they’re good enough. This is good fun.

#41 - “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” - Shaboozey

Produced by Nevin and Sean Cook

Okay, if we’re going to sample egregiously, this is how we do it: not trying to play it off as a completely new song but not serving in the exact same lane and purpose as the original. Instead, let’s make unabashed re-recordings and reimaginings that don’t necessarily modernise or improve the song, and don’t set out to, instead crafting a different experience from the same fundamentals. Now I don’t like the original 2004 track “Tipsy” by J-Kwon mostly because of, well, J-Kwon being useless, but there’s a great hook to it, especially the radio edit, and the beat making up nearly entirely of weird sound effects over a distorted clap sample is pretty clever. The original “Tipsy” peaked at #4 for two weeks, whilst “Lola’s Theme” by the Shapeshifters was #1, and later The Streets’ “Dry Your Eyes”. Shaboozey, a singer featured on Beyoncé’s latest pivot, has taken advantage of that extra traction to completely reimagine the chorus of “Tipsy” and its general conceit of having fun at a gathering to take your mind off problems, especially with girls… but there’s a lot of depth added through the extra populist twist thanks to the financial troubles referenced in the verses, and some particularly really smart intricacies like turning the counting gimmick into counting the rounds of drinks at the bar. He recontextualises a basically meaningless gimmick into something that is a lot more resonant, and that’s really special. Sonically, it feels like a bit more organic stomp-clap soarer, and isn’t really all that special, but the inspired interpolation of “Tipsy”, alongside some great strings in the post-chorus, makes this what it is, and it doesn’t run out of tricks. The shift to a rap flow in the second verse to continue the momentum is brilliant, the spoken backing vocals amidst the multi-tracked crowd hook, which I almost wish was even louder, is a fun idea… and that’s before that final chorus where it breaks down and becomes a true drink-a-long. Sure, this may be a reimagined version of a song I don’t like really at all, but it goes far beyond just that and creates a new experience not just as a cover but as a separate entity entirely that embraces and benefits from its referencing. This is how you do sampling in pop, it’s excellent. I hope this is a smash.

#35 - “These Words” - Badger and Natasha Bedingfield

Produced by Badger

Alright, once again, we have a sample, this time with Natasha Bedingfield’s “These Words”, that other song you might remember from the album that parents “Unwritten”. What you may not remember is that whilst this hasn’t had nearly as much longevity as the title track, it actually peaked much higher, debuting at #1 and topping the charts for two weeks in 2004. This is in spite of it being complete garbage. I like meta narratives in pop music when done well and outside of its camp, it can be genuinely difficult to get through the jerky, dated production and somewhat embarrassing performance, especially lyrically, from Bedingfield. I understand the appeal, and the writing isn’t really a deal-breaker usually, but it’s especially striking to me when the actual music behind her quest to find the best words for her love song… just plainly sucks. Come 2024 and enter UK garage producer Badger, who remixes the track, crediting Bedingfield on streaming but for whatever reason not on the Official Charts page, and I have to say, completely stripping this catchy hook outside of its tedious context is another inspired reimagining, mostly because it turns the “I love you, I love you” refrain into a muffled, glitchy funfest over some of the most detailed, hyperactive 2-step drums I’ve heard on the charts in a while, alongside a hazier synthscape that really shines against the rawer vocal from Bedingfield. Once again, modern artists turn a song from the 2000s I never really liked into a completely different experience, in this case completely removing you from Bedingfield’s narrative to fully envelop you in the euphoric end goal she hints towards in the original. Hope this takes off too.

#31 - “Tell Ur Girlfriend” - Lay Bankz

Produced by Johnny Goldstein

Speaking of taking off, it seems we finally have the inevitable breakout single for Lay Bankz. I’ve been paying attention to her casual flexing and dismissal of pretty much anything else over firy, fast-paced Philly club bangers for a while now, probably since I discovered “Na Na Na”, and it did seem like TikTok would grant her an easy hit any moment now. She finally got it with “Tell Ur Girlfriend” and here, if you don’t remember the specific production elements of its original material, you might not recognise this has yet another interpolation. I wasn’t a fan of Ginuwine’s 1996 track “Pony” for a long time because I felt its dissonance harmed its ability to be a sex jam but… let’s be real, rarely do sex jams actually succeed without being in some way disruptive due to awkward lyrics or stagnant beats. Once I learned to shut up and appreciate Timbaland’s vocoder burping that calls itself a bassline, all was right in my world. It peaked at #16 over here in 1997 and did have a shelf life extending to an EDM remix peaking at #39 in 2015. Bankz and Goldstein don’t really make much use of “Pony”’s fundamentals rhythm or melody-wise, outside of that out of place vocoder burp that is repurposed as a measure-demarcating stab over a comically jerky, sing-songy synth that slows down the pace enough for a 2-step-influenced 2000s throwback, Destiny’s Child-esque, not to rap but closer to R&B. Bankz surprises me to a degree with just how effortlessly she swaps between faster jabs to the smooth choruses, and it almost makes me forget that this is a song about mutual cheating. Does it justify that? No. And who cares? They’re having toxic fun over the Ginuwine “Pony” vocal burp and some of the ugliest synths to hit the top 40 in years, this is not morally righteous in any regard. It’s just pure, sweaty, regretful fun and does not waste any of its two-minute runtime trying to justify itself, and given this whole song is a sarcastic power move about how they should probably tell their partners they’re sleeping with each other, I don’t think she cares in the slightest.

#10 - “Forget About Us” - Perrie

Produced by Steve Solomon and Andrew Goldstein

Okay, the samplefest ended up going pretty fantastically, so I have some hopes for the trio of pop girlies we have lined up all debuting in the top 10, starting with the solo debut from Perrie Edwards of the former girl group Little Mix. She’s always been one of the most prominent vocal talents in the group, so regardless of if the song actually works, there’s going to be power here, and that’s guaranteed, even with an Ed Sheeran writing credit and a compressed to Hell and back mix. In this soarer, Perrie’s ex has become a successful singer after the breakup and Perrie is begging for them to never forget about what they lost in the relationship, especially given how neither seem all that over this relationship and its fallout. There’s a propelling pop rock drive to this, even if the lack of electric grit may harm it a tad, not letting it get into truly bitter territory… which might actually be for the best. Ms. Edwards sounds great belting here but there is a level of restraint in all the acoustic swell that might sing closer to the desperate content, acknowledging the flaws in the relationship and that it is over, but that it should, please, stick to them as a memory. A less kind approach may have flattened its overall sincerity, so even if sonically, I’m not over the Moon about this, I can recognise that this is a tightly-written, excellently performed little pop rock jam that will serve as a good introduction to the solo career. I just want to hear where it goes next.

#9 - “Illusion” - Dua Lipa

Produced by Kevin Parker and Danny L Harle

Okay, Dua, let’s be straightforward. Mixing PC Music’s wildcard Danny L Harle with Tame Impala should lead to much more interesting music than what we’ve heard from Radical Optimism - a disgraceful album title - so far, and I won’t lie and say what has been put out post-”Houdini” hasn’t been somewhat disappointing. I was hoping that “Illusion” could take a bit of a different step, tap into some less recognisable territory for Dua, and whilst it may not have done that exactly, it’s definitely much more interesting. Harle and Parker go for a much tighter house groove here, with elevated pianos, chips of percussion that end up much more minimal under the looming vocal loops and progressive electronic synth beeping, maybe much less impactful than you’d expect. So where’s that in the content? Well, Dua sings about disappointment, playing off a façade placed up by this guy who’s just not impressing her at all, as she’s growing up from just being reckless with her lovers. It’s in the same vein as “Training Season” but with a more unique and honestly more fitting soundscape for that kind of romantic disillusionment, especially given a major conceit of the bridge is that she’s still going to dance all night with that illusion, she still gives in despite her best interests. It also has a ridiculous synth solo slabbed right in for no reason. Genius. Inspiring.

#6 - “Espresso” - Sabrina Carpenter

Produced by Julian Bunetta

I really have not been going into Sabrina Carpenter singles that chart with high expectations or really any expectation that I’ll enjoy it, and she keeps proving me wrong, but not in the way that say Dua just did. No, Ms. Carpenter shares more in common with D-Block Europe in that the appeal, at least for me, comes in the lack of subtlety and disregard for functioning outside of existing pop tropes, whilst still thoroughly embarrassing her public image, cycling around enough for me to be unironically on board. Like “Nonsense” was a plain rip-off that ended up surviving beyond the genuine article on comedy alone, and “Feather” is as light as possible, no pun intended, yet still pinches at you with its infestation of hooks, “Espresso” is emphatically stupid. “Switch it up like Nintendo”? “My give-a-fucks are on vacation”? “I know I Mountain Dew it for ya”? “MOUNTAIN DEW IT FOR YA”? It reminds me all too much of Selena Gomez’s nu-disco embarrassment “Love On”, but instead of selling the cringe with sheer forcefulness, which did surprisingly work for the incredibly limited vocalist Selena is, Sabrina plays the guitar licks and downright invasive pre-chorus synths off with utter, robotic dismissal. Sure, there’s vocal riffing and harmonising, but the main vocal line in the chorus is a multi-tracked, reverb-drenched, Melodyne-controlled nursery rhyme, and it doesn’t escape that lane for nearly all of its three minutes. There are spoken word interludes where she acknowledges the stupidity of the song and its content, but it’s always breezy and lacking in the cringe that would come with it if she cared much at all. The deadpan “Yes” ad-libs in the pre-chorus, and the detail put into the production, are what really sell this to me though. It’s orchestrated to make it seem like she doesn’t care, but there is an entire team twisting the knobs to turn that faux carelessness to a seamless radio edit… and well, they need a raise. She’s done it again. This is ridiculous.

Conclusion

She doesn’t get the Best of the Week though because that, far and above, goes to Shaboozey for “A Bar Song (Tipsy)”, and the Honourable Mention… well, I can’t give out a Worst of the Week at all here. Or even a Dishonourable Mention. Sure, Perrie’s song is a bit generic and maybe my enjoyment of the DBE track is purely for the comedy factor, but I still thoroughly enjoyed my time with them, so I’m just going to tie the Honourable Mention between “These Words” by Badger and well, “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter, which is shaping up to thankfully be huge. As for what’s on the horizon… Taylor Swift and Drake. It’s back to the big leagues in the next episode but for now, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you next week!

[cxldtyrant]

AMBASSADOR QUESTIONS - OPEN

@viopolis asked: Lord Cooler, could I ask for your comments on your kind's [ Reputation ] and [ Government ]?

          Cooler shifted comfortably in his seat, lightly drumming his fingers against the right arm of his throne. A small smirk flitted across his features as he regarded the inquiry with mild amusement. It was little surprise that the Ambassador wished to learn more about his kind. In the grand scheme of things, the Arcosian people were considered enigmatic—if reviled—by most of the galaxy. Very rarely did his people leave their home planet, and the only prominent members the universe was familiar with were himself, his father, and his foolish little brother—the latter of whom had besmirched the Arcosian name with his violent temper tantrums and disregard for decent social etiquette.

          Unsurprisingly, it was yet again up to him to clean up his brother’s mess. Their people did not deserve to be condemned by the galaxy for the ill-thought actions of that spoilt little brat.

          “The Arcosian people come from a long line of strength and resilience, having spent millennia’s evolving due to the harsh, hostile environment of Arcos,” the Prince advised, stilling the motions of his fingertips. “As such, my people greatly respect strength, and have a natural ambition to better themselves. Of course, the definition of “strength” itself is open to interpretation: some will seek to improve their physical prowess, while others prefer an intellectual growth, or perhaps even seek greater wealth, status, or to hone a particular skill. Regardless, my people do not settle for mediocrity or stagnation. They are always seeking improvement.”

          He moved his hands, his fingers interlocking as he propped his elbows over the armrests, leaning slightly forward has he regarded the latter. “My mother had ruled Arcos before her passing, after which fell towards my father as the Dowager King and acting Regent, until my brother and I were ready and worthy of the throne—" which, if his father had it his way, would have been until his death via old age rather than willing relinquishment. Or perhaps, yet again, he would have gifted his unworthy brother another throne as his puppet king. Cooler’s grip tightened briefly. “But my family is not the sole leadership of Arcos. We have our advisors and acting regents, and a senate of many noble families governing each settlement across the planet. With each city and town they rule, they have their own elected officials overseeing their subjects and brining concerns to them. It is very much an interwoven system of responsibility and communication. As those with the most power, we all must play our part to ensure the best for our society.”

          Because at the end of the day, that was all that mattered to the Arcosian people. That they improved, that they adapted, that they become the best. And that was not an inherently evil thing. Freeza may have been the worst that Arcos had to show of their kind, but Cooler would see to it that the stain his brother left on their people’s legacy would be thoroughly scrubbed from history.

          And if he had it his way, Freeza himself would be wiped as well.

[txtmetonight]

Me and My Husband

call summary ⋆ ★ You’ve had your lives' fulfillment of being contempt–or so you think. Because with Choi Beomgyu by your side, you ponder upon the thought a bit more than you should.  

pairing *. * Choi Beomgyu x Fem! Reader

genre⋆ ★  Angst, Fluff?

warnings *. * Misogyny, Drinking, Pregnancy, Bad Grammar, Crude grammar

call duration⋆ ★ 5.6k

a/n*. * I know that there are different interpretations of this song so this is mine. Also, I got inspired by the novel Kim-Jiyoung born in 1982. It's such a good book, I def recommend it. And kinda sorry for the end. I suppose I rushed it a bit. Anyways, hope you enjoy lol.

taglist ⋆ ★  @kflixnet//@oreoqueen // @woncheecks//@probably-too-obssessed // @matcha-binz 

The Mitski Diaries Masterlist

I steal a few breaths 

From the world for a minute 

Sigh. 

In a working economy, where prices were rising, and work employment was decreasing, you were able to stabilize yourself against the rising tides of the world. An eight-to-four job that consisted of going outdoors to capture the photographs your management team had assigned you to click or either staring at a high-tech screen, a large white cubicle littered with little stickers and important reminders surrounding you.  

It was a mediocre job that paid just well enough, but you were contempt. For now, at least. When you were old enough to really know what you wanted to be in the future, you would daydream about meddling in the medical field, and thinking about it further made you conclude that you wanted to take up a profession in psychology. 

But sometimes after a dose of too much beer, you wonder how you got to take up photography and you find yourself on the web, wobbly fingers searching up how much medical school costs before you’re thrown back into reality looking at numbers that made you dizzier.  

Your father and mother did their best to support you, but it was hard when your mother had your younger brother and house chores plus small work, she took up to make extra cash, and your father had to manage a small convenience store that did particularly well on some days. If someone asked you how your life was before college, you would respond with a monotone “It was alright”.  

Because honestly, it was. You shared a room with your grandma until she passed while your younger brother had his own, your school was far away and when it was cold you froze walking there, and your father and mother would fight for a while when he came home drunk. Yet still you lived a happy life, nevertheless.  

And over the years you’ve learnt several valuable lessons. First, when going an interview, it’s best to wear the brightest lipstick you’ve ever known, and your hair should be tied up to a high ponytail if you want to increase your chances of being picked, especially in an interview with other women. Though you probably won’t be picked, not when you find out that even a single man was also competing.  

Second, a good night of drinking after a long day is nice but don’t overdo it, or the already less pay you get will be cut slack from however many hours you will miss that morning.

And third, the best boy you’ve ever met will be on a class retreat to the mountains for the Badminton club during your college experience.  

A club filled with ten other male members and two other female members; served as a stress reliever after exam weeks and piling schoolwork. It was fun playing matches and though most members of the club reasoned that they were slacking off on you because you were new and not because you were a girl, you thoroughly enjoyed it.  

The retreat was a plan that was created on a whim, one second you were drinking wine with the girls in one of their dorms, and in the other, all fourteen members including you were on a bus driving up a steep road, playing some old nostalgic songs. Just days before, a new member had joined, and at first, he hadn’t piqued your interest as much, but when he helped you grab your duffel bag from the top, your gaze stayed on his face a bit longer than usual.  

Choi Beomgyu was born on March 13, 2001, he had AB blood, he housed a parrot named Toto and he had you wrapped around his finger by the end of the five-day, four-nights trip (which was a bit pricey for a bunch of college students). 

And on the last day of the excursion, he had kissed ever-so softly against the walls of the cabin, while everyone else was out at a lake.  

And then I'll be nothing forever 

And all of my memories 

And all of the things I have seen 

Will be gone 

With my eyes with my body with me 

“Sunghoon, was definitely holding an affair with that short girl from section three! Why’d you think they both keep leaving the break room together?” 

You strain a smile towards Kazuha and hold back a small exhale, instead focusing on the small strokes of color on your nails. A lilac shade. “I–I suppose? I don’t even know who the short girl is?” And after a second you add, “Nor Sunghoon. I don't even know Sunghoon.” Your heart thrums harder in your chest at the sudden emotional turmoil, that was honestly kind of stupid. But still, you laugh sourly, gazing at the girl through your lashes, her own lips dejectedly turning into a frown.  

“I had forgotten you had quit.” She quietly murmurs, taking the brush from your hands to paint your left hand. Her eyes wander over the expanse of your shared room, and they linger too long on a portrait of your husband by your bedside table, eyebrows furrowing at the familiarity of the object.  

You refuse to look, not when her face falls as she realizes with a tiny chuckle going back to your hands. It was a brown frame that held a picture that you took of your partner when you both were still dating (now married) and it used to sit near your mousepad, behind your daily cup of coffee, and in the small space you used to be offered.  

You and Beomgyu dated for five years, one year in your last years of college and the other four years while you both worked. And all those four years, you’ve kept that same picture of your lover at the same spot, and at the same time on the clock you would stare at his utterly handsome face before being hulled back to work yet again.

It wasn’t a lie that you missed your job, and you spent your time at the kitchen countertop mulling over it, now more than ever as you scroll through your co-workers' feeds and watch them with large, widened eyes as they post the carefully edited photos they had taken or just fun gatherings with their peers.  

That night you hold a staring contest with the ceiling of your bedroom, tracing the moving shapes your brain seems to formulate due to the pitch-black gloom. The presence of a warm body keeps you grounded as you wander to the depths of “what ifs”, just toeing that line before stepping back out in fear of a nasty wormhole that would bring you to tears.  

“Hey baby, why are you still awake?” 

An arm gets thrown over your waist while a voice tears you away just as you start to turn your attention to the blades of the fan above, and you look to your side to see Beomgyu having his eyes shut with his lips dangerously close to your neck.  

“I dunno, just thinking. How was work today?” Your question and just for a second you ease into his warmth, preparing yourself for a story time just like how you would when your mom was reading you a fairytale to help you sleep. Beomgyu goes silent for a second and you’re afraid that he’s drifted to sleep but he drowsily murmurs, “It was tiring. Mr. Kang made me do a stack of reports and read a bunch of blah blah blah”  

You scrunch your nose at his wording and envelop your fingers with the hand that’s placed on the skin of your stomach. “Is that so? Well, I wish that tomorrow is better, no?” He nods and gives you a small kiss on your cheek, eyelashes tickling your skin when he blinks. “I really hope...you would wish that for me, baby? You're so sweet. Today was probably easy for you, right? I too wish to take a couple of days off”  

He jokes before snuggling into you even more and you ponder how well he could cuddle a wooden board...because that’s what you are right now. Stiff as a board. You gulp and clutch his hands tighter to force your eyes to close. Your “job” at home was not easy. You had to make sure that the laundry was done, that the dishes were clean and that Beomgyu got his food on time because he was always grouchy after a long day at work.  

Exactly seven months ago, Beomgyu on behalf of you being his wife had told you to quit your job. You suspect that it was because of the pestering you heard over his phone when he doesn’t think you’re nearby, the voices of the people in his life wondering about your duties as a wife. But in his perspective, the job he was asking you to leave had you always complaining and coerced you to be awake until three sometimes. In your eyes it was boring-old work that you cherished, and the same job that you held many heart-felt memories of.

Perhaps that doesn’t matter when you must take care of your husband.  

And so, you had taken his decision to leave a resignation letter at your boss's desk just a few days after the talk. Many asked you if it was because you were pregnant, but you just smiled and shook your head, saying that your husband needed you. That day he had taken you out to a fried chicken place with soju on the side as a congratulations party that you were finally broken from your chains. You were finally a free bird.  

And the cries that you let out over the spicy chicken were a sign of pure happiness and not the distress that roared instead of your gut. 

But now as you lay awake, eyes slowly burning with heavy sleep, you promise yourself just for a night of peaceful sleep that all the things you’ve seen, all the memories you have about “work” will be gone on for your own sake.  

Being cooped up in the house, you decided to take a stroll outside after taking a peek at the window. It was a nice sunny day with a soft breeze that made you grab your coat before you headed out the door. Sporting a nice pair of shoes that your husband bought you over the weekend, you watch curiously as the sidewalks bustle with people. Cars honked and the chatter of the TV running bled through the walls nearby you as you strode by. It was a happy day, but the smile on your face doesn’t seem to cooperate as much as you try.  

But me and my husband 

We're doing better 

It's always been just him and me 

Together 

You try and try, but it twitches and turns, and you force yourself to cover it up as much as possible with your hands and with your gaze downwards. All your life, you’ve tried to reach for the stars and every time you came nowhere close, so how was this one error in your multitudes of malfunctions going to affect you. You know that you’re dented and bruised, and so you’re afraid...afraid of being left behind by Beomgyu as if you’re nothing when it’s just you two together. Because truly, you believe you are, even as much as your lover convinces himself that you’re not...just to make it better for the both of you. 

Nonetheless, you realize that it will always be him next to you, holding your hand, whether you like it or not. 

The cold wind picks up and you wrap your jacket around you tighter, but that doesn’t do much for the running goosebumps that trail down your arms. A familiar convenience store just down the road practically calls out for you as a shelter to hide from the biting cold, and so you jog through the sidewalk, hands shivering on the door as you open it.  

The bell on top rings. The cashier barely even looks up while you walk by, and you slip by past the younger woman to hide near the ramen section of the store. You were always amazed by the number of flavors and companies that this single food item held, the different sizes, colors, and levels of spice were always intriguing when you ran your fingers over the cartons of boxes, which ultimately stopped at a black box.  

In bold red colors, a small cup of your favorite ramen looks back at you. You freeze and let out a sigh. Then before you know it, you reason with yourself and snatch the cup into your hands. You used to eat this daily, dead at night with a computer in your lap and the sauce smeared all over your lips as your eyes gleamed distantly with a show played in the background.  

While you walked through the aisles, you caught yourself in the reflection of a bright window, eyes widening when you found a younger version of yourself smiling back at the windows. She’s pretty and youthful and smiling like she didn’t have a care in the world. Her face is contorted into an expression of happiness, and you're bewildered when she winks at you.

The wrinkles on your face are practically non-existent on hers while she tilts her head, mouthing words you couldn’t hear. Your feet twitch to run up to the glass, to put your ear against it to hear her better but you don’t. Instead, you gape like a baffled fish. Something wet drips down your cheeks which slowly drips down her’s too.

You wonder why she’s crying so you reach up to your tears to wipe them away from the burning they leave in their way, and you expect her to do the same...except on her side, long fingers that don’t match yours slowly mop them away.

The background behind her which used to be transparent, materializes into something like your old dorm. And right behind her is him with his short brown hair and a sympathetic smile on his face. He croons at her, crouching by her side, slowly patting her head in a soothing manner. And suddenly, you feel as though your own hair is being ruffled, as though you can hear the soft humming and the feeling of warmth pressing into your back.  

It’s been a while. It’s been so long since you’ve felt such a comforting touch from him. You’ve fallen into a routine that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. So salty that it leaves you choking on your own saliva each time you try to gulp down your arising tears, in the bathroom. But you love him. You really do. And in the end, it’s just a husband, you suppose. Not your boyfriend. Only your husband.  

“That’s not fucking fair Beomgyu!” You scream, hands waving in the air like a madman. A volcano rumbles deep in your heart, aching to be released as if it just bubbles over the top. The man in front of you sucks in his lips, his eyes shaking at your outburst.

If you had sanity in you at that moment, you would’ve stopped at his trembling, or with the thought that the neighbors next door could hear your screeches (the walls were horribly thin). The skin on you reeks of frustration and despair. You don’t cry though. “I–I’ve had a hard day too!” He reasons, stepping closer towards you but stopping abruptly when you drag your foot backward. “

And so? You won’t spend it with me? Do you know how bad these two weeks have been for me? Did you even have a fucking hint?” His voice stills in his throat, choosing to stay silent with wide glossy eyes. He’s never liked to be yelled at; you’ve known that since he got scolded by his teammate in a badminton match and came back to you with a raw nose and ruby eyes that faded out near his pupils.

You furrow your eyebrows, and in a moment of actual hurt that he hasn’t said anything about you, your arms cover your chest. “Of course you didn’t. You never do” You whisper, voice cracking as you turn around to stomp back to your room. The door slams behind you when you collapse to the floor with blubbering sobs. You wail and wail and wail. Fingers itch at your face furiously, not letting a drop spill on the floor.  

You don’t hear the door slowly creaking open, nor the soft singing behind you but once you do, your heart stills in its rampage. The silence is loud as a pair of feet pad behind you, nuzzling into your head as his fingers crawl over to your neck, pulling you against his chest. “I don’t have an excuse.” Beomgyu starts off.

“But I promise you, that I’ll do better for you–for us. Because you deserve it more than anyone else. (Y/n), you deserve all the happiness in the world and much better so I’m sorry that you’re stuck by me”

He stops when he feels you shaking your head against him, but that doesn’t deter him too much when he finds the confidence to clean your face with the soft pads of his fingers, his lips now on your neck, just where your pulse beats against his mouth. “But please stay with me.” Beomgyu puffs.  

“By your side?” You ask, turning around in his arms when you couldn’t stand it anymore to watch an older version of yourself, crying heartbreakingly so in the reflection of your cerulean lampshade. Such a tragic sight, that you feel as though your guts are being arranged by the never-ending feeling of unexplainable doom.  “By my side. Nothing more or nothing less”  

You nod and the notion of perturbation and doubt fills the hollow gap of your beating organ–and all you’re hoping is that he’s right.  

The way that your mind thinks is quite twisted, you believe. Because you assume that you’re obliged to be Beomgyu’s side forever on–because frankly, it’s just you and him together.  

So I bet all I have on that 

Furrowed brow 

And at least in this lifetime 

We're sticking together 

Me and my husband 

We're sticking together 

Your mother-in-law was a pleasant woman with a charming smile and her husband–your father-in-law was a nice man who sported thick glasses during the many novellas he would devour on the couch. The first time you met them two was when it was a time between yours and Beomgyu’s relationship when you both were introducing each other to the other half’s family members and this time it was your husband’s time for a meet and greet at his house.  

They invited you inside and took the bouquet of lilies you brought for them, unlatching your hand-locked hold with Beomgyu as they both took a turn to hug you. They were warm and smelled like sugary vanilla, the mother having a hint of spicy red chilies sticking to her clothes.

Immediately she drags you to the kitchen for a bit of assistance while Beomgyu catches up with his dad. You furrow your eyebrows, because Beomgyu didn’t do that at your house when he came over. In fact, you found yourself in the kitchen again that same time. Was he supposed to help as a guest?  

At the dining table, they served you rich Jjajangmyeon that you ate a lot though it was salty and ever since then they all assumed that your mothers-in-law's Jjajangmyeon was your favorite dish.  

You’re brought back to that memory of the first-day meeting when you find yourself looking back at the black sauce in front of you. The two older adults sit in front of you, one is slurping up his food while the other sits with her hands in her lap followed by dialogue that she was waiting for her only child to start eating. But she tells you to start and so you do, trying to not let the saltiness reside on your tongue too much.  

“So (Y/n), when are you and Gyu going to have my grandson?” Soo-Young laughs nudging her husband to follow along too and soon enough you three are all awkwardly chuckling. You push around the noodles before bringing it up to your face. “I’m not sure. I don’t really want to carry a child as of now. I’m happy with Beomgyu just the way it is right now.”

For some reason your voice struggles at the word “happy” but you clear up the crack with a small cough, eyes darting back to your food. “Do you have a problem with your body that you can’t bear a child?”  

You’ve expected this very question, but your heart still drops at it. 

“I–I don’t. Me and Beomgyu aren’t trying right now” You’re ashamed, but you shouldn’t be. But you can’t help it when both parents don’t look convinced but rather disappointed. Anger flares for a mere moment. You’ve heard what their brothers, sisters, and cousins, have been saying about you both.

And in that very scene, you feel like you’re crumbling against their hard stares. You don’t want to bear a child, you just don’t! It’s too much for you now. Mentally and Physically. “Well, that’s good your body is healthy.” Your father-in-law's face hardens and his wife nods briefly before continuing her onslaught. “I hope you have a boy soon. It would be good for all of us”

She sends you a sweet upturn of her lips before she watches the door for its grand reveal, all while you’re internally panicking. The sweat rolls down your back and you play with the food on your plate.  

And I am the idiot with the painted face 

In the corner, taking up space 

But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved  

You’re hopeless in situations like this. You never know what to say or what to do, and you’re so fucking pathetic that you can’t help but rely on others–on your husband. So, when Beomgyu bursts in through that door, with a bright smile on his face you feel your body melt and puddle against the chair.

The welcoming nod he sends towards you is just warming enough for you to unclench your jaws and hands. “You’re back” You whisper.... standing up in your chair while you hit your table against the surface of the table. Your husband loosens his tie and places his blue briefcase on the couch before he spares another look at you.  

“Careful honey didn’t know that you were this excited to see me” He quips while he rubs his hands, eyes closing when the stomach-growling scent of food slams into his nose. “Oh, Beomgyu how was work today?” His mom asks, leaving you to serve your husband with whatever he pleased at that moment, and he is happy to tell you exactly what he was craving at the dining table. “Not that bad, I didn’t have too much work today.”  

He sighs as he places a chaste kiss on your cheek, your eyelashes fluttering at the contact. The hysteria inside you has slightly died and it slowly seeps away as you watch your husband, your hand slithering to his to hold, but his hands move away before you can catch them.  

Your smile drops and the feeling intensifies deep inside you. 

Beomgyu sends you an eyebrow raise, lips smiling softly when you subtly shake your head towards the front door, and he gets the signal immediately before he immediately starts to chow down his food. Fingers twitching against your thighs, you stand up to distract yourself and head to the kitchen to grab Beomgyu some water.

You don't feel real for a second, honestly as though you were watching a perspective of yourself in a video game. The veins under your skin thrummed with buzzing nervousness as your eyebrows furrow, and you find your hands shaking as you fill up your husband’s glass, but everything is zooming in and out and the world around you is going round and round.  

“I–I” You mutter to yourself and before you know it, shards of sharp glass fly everywhere around your feet, bursting into a million diamonds once they touch the ground...and your feet. The soft tissue cracks open at a single deep slice, yet you don’t feel the burning pain where it should be.

Instead, you feel it in your throat where bile threatens to spill into your mouth, in your brain where it pulses erratically, your eyes that flit all over the place and your beating organ that stops for a second and then continues then stops then continues.  

Stop. Thump. Stop. Thump. Stop. Thump 

“(Y/n)?!” A pair of callous hands step over to your side, and you find yourself face-to-face with your mother-in-law, her face concerned as she leads you out of the mess. “I’m sorry” You whisper, whipping your head towards Beomgyu, who immediately rises from his seat and sprints to the bathroom.’ 

“Oh gosh, it’s okay” Her eyes dare to flicker to the penetrating wound. You don’t even try. Not when gravity could potentially pull those salty tears down to earth.  

It doesn’t take long for Beomgyu to find the first aid kit and bring it back to you, before he wraps his arm around your hand, pulling you up. “Beomgyu? Where are you going?” His mother demands, and you almost croak for them to stop, just leave you alone, but you don’t. Rather, you flop onto your husband’s side as he explains that he is just going to take you outside for a second.  

“(Y/n)’s still most likely in shock. Let her breathe some of the fresh air, it will do her good. I read it in an. article sometime back.” You’re not even sure what his mother says after to him but you’re being dragged with your other unharmed foot just right outside the porch, where he makes you sit in one the brown chairs that was placed for decor, and he...and he just sits on the ground, next to your dripping foot.

The smell of rust makes you gag into the crook of your arm, coughing violently as you try to let yourself up. “What’re you doing? Sit back down” He grabs your fleeting arm, looking into your eyes with an unexplainable glint.  “Ok” You mumble, and that’s all it took of him for you to obey, gently sitting back into the cushion of the seat.  

The silence consumes you whole, and you furrow your eyebrows struggling to breathe. Words that you want to spit out, lodge themselves in your trachea. Below you, Beomgyu carefully tends to your foot with a serious look imprinted on his handsome features. 

Drip. Drop.

Eyes shooting up to the ceiling, you ignore your husband’s pointed gaze on you, his working hands wet from the silent waterfall that streams down your face. “Baby...” He whispers, putting his cold hands around you, grazing your cheeks as he pulls you down to earth. You sniffle, wiping away your reddening nose,

“I don’t know if I want to stay here anymore?” You’re not sure why you’re questioning yourself when you knew for sure you itched to leave, every nerve inside burning in aflame in hopes of disappearing. “But why? We just came and you know how long it’s been since we’ve stayed over. Plus, today was the last day before my leave off... I had to drive forty minutes just to get here” He reasons, applying light pressure to your foot to stop the spurting of blood.

Your chest stutters at his words, guilt settling deep in your bones, but your lips don’t stop moving. They talk against your mind’s will.  

“I don’t want to have a kid.” 

Beomgyu’s still motion makes you sick to your stomach. “I see. Did my parents ask you about it?” He questions softly. “I suppose.” And finally, you find the courage in yourself to stare him in the staring eyes, wary of the slightest flutter of annoyance from him.

Yet he slowly raises his fingers, and pinches your cheek lightly, tugging it side to side while his lips turn full of a small smile. “If you don’t want to have one, that’s ok, love. But...you know that they’re right, we–we’ve been married for a while now. Don’t you want to start a family? I know I do.” 

You gasp, reaching for the escaping oxygen, “Bu–but I–” 

“You won’t do everything on your own. Just us. Together. I’ll take care of us as a family, treat you well, take more leaves off, um–not go out with my friends as much, I’ll do anything you want.” He leans forward to place a longing kiss on your forehead, and you just close your eyes, chewing your tongue off as it squirms to scream at him.

Your fists tighten to push him off, and your legs ache to run away. Run away as far as you can from this place. But you don’t. You stay sitting in that chair as Beomgyu wipes away your tears, kissing you warmly. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t get the way that you’re going to change permanently forever. Both mind and body.

You may hate your child forever on after this, but you still don’t get a say on whether you want it or not. 

“Baby?” Beomgyu pulls back to look at you, giggling at your flushed cheeks, but you don’t find anything amusing. “Yeah?” You mumble, sucking in deep breaths. “We’ll get through it together. I promise.”  

‘Together?’ You ponder.  

You don’t want to.  

Me and my husband 

We're doing better 

It's always been just him and me 

Together 

Your whole body aches with unimaginable pain. Everything is on fire, and the wet tears rolling down your eyes do nothing to soothe it. There’s chattering everywhere but it’s going in one ear and out the other, so you hope that the man by your side is listening intently. You blink slowly to the beat of the two hearts just above your rising chest. Small heads tickle your chin, and their soft warm bodies slow down your breathing a little.  

“You did so well, love.” You want to make up the happy sniffles that emit next to you, but you can’t because your dear husband is truly crying. Any other time you would’ve made fun of him, poked, and teased him for his weeping but you feel like doing the same. But everything dried up the moment your eyes had first landed on your babies.  

Godsend babies.  

But, after their first cries hit the world, you imagine yourself as a mere twelve-year-old (or rather any age below twenty-six) left alone with two wailing babies, locked in a very dark room. Though it was important to take note that, your vivid imagination had increased by tenfold through those nine months...so you didn’t think anything of it. Yet those feelings felt very very real, as though they were thriving right under your skin, crawling like little centipedes, sneaking into every crevice and bump under your organs, eyebrows twitching at the torment.  

You turn your head to catch the calendar on the plain white wall, and in a red circle, highlights the date.

"February 12th" You tremble as you watch your husband nod furiously, clutching your hand to his face. The red burns into the paper and kept in a trance you wonder...in a few years from now, will those random letters and numbers leave a bitter taste on your tongue, or will the remnants of sweet birthday cake follow instead.

So I bet all I have on that 

Furrowed brow 

And at least in this lifetime 

We're sticking together 

If someone asked you how you felt as of right now, you would say “I dunno” in hopes of justifying yourself to your own consciousness. But taking one look at Beomgyu who beams as bright as the sunny sun outside, teeth blinding as ever, you would then change your answer to “Very happy. I am very happy because I have two kids, one of whom is a boy, thank you very much. And the other is a girl and they both, plus me are loved by my lovely husband, who is sticking with me ‘till death do us part.”

You would’ve thrown the last part in as a little joke to hide the dishonesty that would’ve seeped through the very gaps of your teeth. But that doesn't change the fact that it was now officially true. Those two on your chest, breathing with life, had just made it so.  

Me and my husband 

We're sticking together 

“(Y/n) what is this mess?”  

The two kids (both turning eight in a month) in your lap scurry away at the sound of their very tired father leaving you to stand there with a cluttered disarray behind you. You sigh. “I’ll clean it up.” Your body throbs as it leaves its place on the couch, not bothering to even watch yourself as you accidentally stumble into Beomgyu. Though you immediately freeze at the familiar odor that excretes from him.

“Have you been drinking again?” You ask, turning around to face the man who just oddly stares at you. Pieces of gray litter his hair, a stubble grows but he still looks handsome as ever, stunning as he was in that damned cabin. “What’s it with you on what I do? You’re not my mom. You’re my wife.”  

Aha.  

You lean towards him with a comforting pat on his arm, understanding the horrible grief that stirs deep inside him. You wonder if you should let him off the hook this time, his mother, the grandmother of your kids had just passed away a month ago, and his unhealthy habit his just started a week after her passing.

Perhaps you were too nice to him, maybe those small jobs you’ve taken on had made you soft-hearted, but you always fell weak in front of Beomgyu and you realized that earlier on. “It’s ok, love.” You sigh, taking him into a hug, trying not to wince at the sour smell. He doesn’t do much to embrace you, but you don’t mind.  

Parting away from him, you offer a weak smile to him.  

“Tomorrow is the weekend. Let us get a bigger desk for our daughter since she’s now having the room to herself.” 

Me and my husband 

We're doing better 

[thexgrayxlady]

What I Read in July and August

Jade City by Fonda Lee - 4.25/5.0 I'm hooked. The characters were complex and fascinating to follow. I genuinely enjoyed that there was so much gray morality and watching the world evolving around the characters and how they react to it is fascinating. And while I was devastated by the scene at the docks, the fall out and the way it impacted everything else was incredible, doubly so because it wasn't supposed to happen that way. Watching Hilo suddenly shoved into a role that he isn't suited to and Shae coming into a role that she is very suited to, but isn't ready for yet, and the mistakes they make in the process, was great. On top of this, the magic system is just so. so cool. I can't wait to read Jade War.

Empire of Gold by S.A. Chakraborty - 4.75/5.0 I love this series so much and I don't know why I waited so long to read this book. I think I just didn't want it to end. Nahri is such an interesting and nuanced character and I really loved reading from her perspective. Her and Ali are so cute and I love them so much. Manizheh is an amazing antagonist. Like, the definition of, "cool motive, still genocide." Dara remains The Worst (derogatory), but he's awful in a way that's very believable. I still couldn't wait for his chapters to be over and I honestly would have liked to learn about what's going on in Daevabad from another perspective just so that I didn't have to read quite so much, "Oh woe is me. I put the leopards eating faces party in power and now they are eating faces I didn't think they'd eat." I think the book was paced very well, with sections that felt very fast and others that moved at an appropriately languid pace, and it did not feel eight hundred pages long. However, I think that the very end of a very long book is the absolute wrong time to bring in the animal sidekick and I wish the Peris came up more in the earlier books. Still, I love it so much.

The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi - 4.0/5.0 This book very earnestly just wants to be a good time and it is. It is a very good time. The characters are all likeable, if prone leaning on the fourth wall in a way that sometimes feels a little too marvel for my taste. The plot is not terribly deep, but it's not trying to be. And I can't find it in myself to fault the author for just wanting to write a fun book. The only thing I found myself really wanting more of was more thorough descriptions of the Kaiju. Like, even after spending so much time on page with her, I'm still not sure what Bella looks like and I think that was a missed opportunity.

Fatal Enquiry by Will Thomas - 0.5/5.0 This book is so thoroughly unenjoyable I don't think that I want to send it back to the book box whence it came. If you want an iteration of Holmes and Watson wherein Watson is genuinely stupid and Holmes is an unrepentant jackass, and a deeply stupid mystery that gets solved off page, this is for you. If not for the fact that A Discovery of Witches is so damn long, it would be the worst thing I've read this year.

Shadowblack by Sebastien de Castell - 3.5/5.0 This was a fun little adventure. I like how the main character uses the little magic he has in creative ways. I like that this is mostly self contained, but doesn't waste a lot of time reiterating the world building from the previous book.

Monsterous Heart by Claire McKenna - 2.25/5.0 This book has a fantastic setting with airships and lighthouses and kraken and plesiosaurs and blood magic and it's wasted on a bland romance. There's some really good, well written, atmospheric bits in this book and that just makes the rest of it infuriating in it's mediocrity.

Velocity Weapon by Megan E. O'Keefe - 3.75/5.0 This book is a blast. There was some kind of fun twist in every chapter and it kept me wanting to come back for more. The frequent plot developments that recontextualized the characters we thought we knew and understood, for the most part, felt natural and a part of a greater whole. The characters themselves were enjoyable and while I wasn't sold on the romance at first, it grew on me. I think the fast pace and frequent twists would have been a little frustrating if I hadn't been reading it in half hour increments on my lunch break, but as it was it was a really good time. I really hope I find more of the series at the used book store, but if I don't I'm considering putting an order in at Thrift Books.

Dark Star Rising by Bennet S. Coles - 2.0/5.0 This series has asked the question, "what if treasure planet was kind of boring?" I don't think it takes enough advantage of the sci-fi portion of the setting, which is disappointing because sci-fi sailing ships in space has a lot of potential. Instead, you could replace the names of the different planets with places on earth and it would change nothing. While the characters are serviceable, most of the minor ones blend together in a mush that made me have to go back and reread portions to remember who they were talking to. I could have done without the very quickly resolved love triangle subplot. Or the romance subplot altogether. Like, it's just too bland for me to even properly dislike it.

The Dark Griffin by K.J. Taylor - 2.5/5.0 On the one hand, this was a very generic fantasy read. On the other, you know that scene from Dragon Age Origins where the Warden is pestering Wynne about whether or not a story has griffins? That's pretty much me in every fantasy novel. The griffins are great. The main character doesn't have much, if any character. There are more than a few plot moments that feel like the author panicked trying to figure out how to get the characters from point A to point B. However, the ending was interesting enough that I find the next book in the series at the library or used book super store, I'd probably continue it.

[veebs-hates-video-games]

Before I forget about it completely, I did finally go back and finish Voice of Cards: The Isle Dragon Roars like a week ago because I wasn't really up for much else while coviding (which I'm still recovering from). The short version is that while I was pretty hopeful about it in the demo and early on in the full game, ultimately it ended up being pretty mediocre overall.

I still like the art and music and the overall presentation of the game a lot. The way it's set up as if it's an actual physical TTRPG with a GM and a bunch of cards and dice is charming and really well done, and that's probably what carried me through it.

The setting and story and stuff are interesting enough, but just barely. Everything kept hinting at there being more depth and something more compelling going on than there actually was, and with Yoko Taro involved I expected it to all pay off in the end, but it didn't really, at least for me. By the time I finished it I was quite thoroughly whelmed. Like the reveals and the ultimate resolution aren't bad or anything, but the way they're handled isn't particularly great or noteworthy either. It's all just...fine, I guess?

And it's probably worth mentioning that even though it's a short game, like it took me maybe 15 hours to almost 100% it, it would be a couple hours shorter if it didn't run like absolute trash on the Switch. They should be ashamed of themselves for releasing it in that state, considering nothing the game does couldn't be done just as well in a PS2-era game. It's painfully unresponsive sometimes, and menus and stuff are always so slow. It's not so bad that I couldn't play the game and enjoy it, but it doesn't feel good to play, at least not handheld on the Switch, when again it should be able to run smoothly on a PS2.

In conclusion, this game is the definition of mid. It's perfectly fine and was a decent way to pass the time while sick, but I have no interest in playing the two others and probably won't remember much about it other than the aesthetic in a couple years from now. I should really go finish Near a Tomato instead, but that's on my computer and more effort than I can spare right now.

[seasons-of-death]

Footsteps In The Snow

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Synopsis: You force your best friend to do winter activities with you and *gasp* it seems like he enjoys it.

Word count: 2.9k(ish) (this is like my longest post so far...)

Warnings: fluff!

A/N: I just watched a pretty mediocre Christmas movie and that inspired me to dig through my notes for this idea I got a few days ago as I'm avoiding continuing the series I'm working on :D So, put some Christmas music on, and enjoy!

It was December 5th when the first snow fell, and you thoroughly enjoyed it. In your mind, there was nothing better than sitting in front of a fireplace with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate while occasionally gazing at the falling snow with a sigh, reminiscing about your childhood.

There was one thing that could've made it better, though.

Not spending it alone.

Your parents' trip was expected since the start of October, the two of them deciding to spend almost the entirety of December at your grandmother's house, only returning on Christmas Eve. Sure, you could've gone with them, but you liked the idea of having the house to yourself. It made you feel like an adult.

Maybe you wouldn't have if you knew how dreadfully boring adulthood really was.

It was now December 10th, and you were still home alone, and it was still snowing, the snow outside now reaching your calves. A girl could only have so much hot chocolate.

As soon as you heard fervent knocking come from your front door, you rushed down the stairs with a wide smile on your face, one that didn't match your best friend's at all, the man looking at you with furrowed brows as his chest rose up and down at a fast pace. "What's wrong?" Eddie asked, "You said it was an emergency."

"It is!" You said, opening the door wider and walking away to signal for him to come in, "I have nothing to do."

"Are you serious?" He sighed, closing the door with a small thud and using his palm to cover his forehead before running his hand through his dark hair. "I was worried about you."

"Well, I did say it was a sledding emergency."

"I thought it was some weird curse word you'd come up with!"

"But, now I have something to do!" You exclaimed, turning to him with a wide smile. "You."

"You're gonna do... me?" He laughed, "Alright, what did you spike your hot chocolate with?"

"I didn't mean you! I mean, doing stuff with you."

"That still doesn't sound any better, sweets."

"I mean, going outside. Ice skating, sledding, making snow angels, and snowmen. All that stuff." You took his hand in yours, noticing a slight tint of red caused by the cold still on his face.

"During the ten years that we've known each other, how many times have I gone outside and done all that stuff?" He raised his brows, making you scoff.

"That's not important! What's important is that during the ten years that we've known each other you've never done all that stuff with me. And I think it's time." You beamed, looking up at him with a slight pout. "I promise you'll have fun. I'll give you ten bucks if you end up completely miserable, and you won't even have to pay me when you end up loving it."

"If I end up loving it."

"When."

You continued looking up at him as he tilted his head back, pondering the pros and cons of agreeing to your plan, looking back at you with a mischievous smile after a short while. "Let's do it."

"Is it too late to back out?" Eddie groaned as you walked up the hill, the man dragging the wooden sled with him. "If I knew that your plan included so much walking, I wouldn't have agreed to it."

"Shut up, we're doing this, like it or not." You laughed, softly punching his arm. "You're gonna like it."

"You know, this isn't exactly a strong start. I guarantee you, you're gonna end up ten dollars poorer after this." He chuckled as the two of you arrived at the peak of the hill.

"Sit down and shut up." You said, the man shaking his head as he set the sled down, sitting down on it.

"This mean streak's not gonna help you either, you know. You should start being nicer to me." He grinned, making you scoff as you sat in front of him, several layers of clothing between the two of you.

"Wrap your arms around me."

"What?"

"Wrap your arms around me!" You laughed, and the man did as you asked, his arms covered by a thick, black winter coat. "Stop being so bossy." He muttered, making you smile.

"Are you ready?" You asked, but started pushing on the ground without waiting for his response, knowing that he would only offer some sort of snarky remark.

Only when the sled started going down the hill at a remarkable speed did you really realize how steep the hill really was, the arms around your waist tightening their grip as you heard Eddie shouting behind you.

"Shit, shit, shit!" He kept calling out, as if waiting for someone to come rescue him, your smile only widening as you let out a cheer, leaning back and enjoying the cold wind on your face as the sled continued to lead you down the hill. You raised your head slightly to look at your friend, the panicked look on his face slightly amusing you as he continued letting out obscenities until the speed of the sled slowed down.

"You were totally panicking." You said with a proud grin as soon as the sled came to a stop, looking up at him as he cleared his throat, looking away from you.

"I didn't." He said, and you could see his face getting redder and redder by the minute. "It was just the adrenaline."

You grabbed his chin with your gloved hand, turning his head to get him to look at you, "Whatever you say."

Rising to your feet, you left him sitting on the sled with an astonished look on his face, his jaw slack as he stared at you, letting out a scoff. "I'm gonna get you for that!"

"Oh yeah?" You grinned, keeping your eyes on him as you walked backwards, crossing your arms in front of your puffed-out chest. "How?"

"I have a few ideas." He said, raising his brows as he grabbed a handful of snow, starting to shape it with his hands as you stared at him with wide eyes, wondering if you should do what he was doing or simply run.

"You wouldn't." You gasped as he rose to his feet, holding a snowball in his hand while he grinned, slowly approaching you.

"I would."

"No!" You screamed, running in the opposite direction as fast as you could, only dropping to your knees once you knew you were far enough from him, quickly gathering snow with two hands as you struggled to roll it into a ball.

Before your hands could even fumble to shape the small pile of snow into a snowball, you could see him approaching you, now much faster than before, the thing you noticed last being the thing that shocked you the most.

He was holding two snowballs.

You rose to your feet, trying to escape from him, but he was running after you, and he was much faster. For every step you took, it was like he took two.

Before you could even resist, you felt a snowball hitting your stomach, the blow softened by the winter coat you were wearing now almost covered in snow, a victorious smile on Eddie's face while you looked down at your stomach, your lips parted in shock.

"Oh, you're gonna get it now!" You called out, throwing your misshapen snowball at the dark-haired devil, the smile on his lips only widening when you missed, dropping back to your knees to gather even more snow.

"What were you saying?" He exclaimed as soon as you got up with two more misshapen snowballs in your hands, throwing one of them at him, missing yet again.

When you saw a snowball flying your way, you were quick to dodge it as he dropped down to his knees to gather more snow, and you ran to him as if your life depended on it. "You wouldn't." He said, stopping what he was doing as he stared up at you as if egging you on. "No honorable soldier would do it."

"Good thing I'm not honorable then!" You exclaimed, joy spreading on your face as you saw the shocked look on his face when you threw the snowball at him, hitting him in the shoulder.

He quickly rose to his feet, holding two snowballs in his hands as you ran away from him, keeping your eyes on him as you did so.

You didn't even notice the moment when your legs gave in, and before you knew it, you were on the ground. Your heart was beating against your chest, and you could hear the blood rushing in your ears as you lay on the white ground, staring at the cloudless sky, flakes of snow slowly falling down.

"Do you give up?" Eddie asked, standing over you with a smile as he looked down at you, your head nodding profusely. He threw the snowballs onto the ground, reaching an arm out for you as a sign of goodwill.

You grabbed his hand, but as he tried to pull you up, you resisted, putting your whole weight into pulling him down with you, and before he could realize what you were doing, he was laying on top of you, holding himself up with his arms.

"Hi." You smiled sweetly, his face only inches away from yours as he scoffed, pursing his lips. You'd never admit it, but the closeness between you was making blood rush to your cheeks. "I never give up."

"You're a vixen, you know that?" He raised his brows and you simply nodded, making him shake his head in disbelief.

"Lay down next to me." You said, nodding your head towards the empty space right next to you, and he rolled over, looking up at the sky. "It looks so pretty, doesn't it?"

You closed your eyes before you could notice him turn his head towards you, a warm smile on his face, Eddie speaking softly, "Yeah, it does."

The next thing on your list was ice skating, and by the time you arrived at the skating rink, it was empty except for a group of kids hanging out in the corner of the rink, chatting to one another with no care for anyone else.

You had rented two pairs of ice skates for an hour, and as you were tying yours up, you could hear Eddie cursing under his breath as he tried to do the same.

"How are these so much more complicated than shoes?" He muttered, making you chuckle as you finished putting on your skates, leaning back on the bench as you waited for him to do the same.

It took a while, but as soon as he got done tying up his skates, you made your way to the ice without a worry as he tried to balance himself on the blades, his eyes fixed on his feet. "How are you so relaxed?" Eddie asked, holding onto the flimsy fence that surrounded the rink as if his life depended on it.

"While you spent your winters inside, I actually got some fresh air." You grinned, holding your hands out to him. "Come on, I'll help you."

"Don't act like reading comics in my bedroom wasn't the highlight of every winter break." He chuckled, carefully removing his hand from the fence as he took hold of your hands, slightly wobbling as he did so.

"Alright, you can just hold onto me until you get the hang of it." You said, slowly skating backward, pulling him as you went.

"Is it too much to ask to hold onto you forever?" Eddie said, and you tried to hide your smile in the collar of your jacket, picking up your pace. "Seriously, I might never let go of you."

"Oh yeah? Are you gonna stick to me like a thistle?"

"Be careful or I will." He said with a grin, and you shook your head in disbelief, trying to ignore the warmth you felt on your cheeks as Eddie stood straighter, the two of you still holding onto one another as you pulled him with you.

It took him a while, but when he felt confident enough in his ability to stand without falling, you let go of his hands, the happy exclaim he let out causing you to feel a slight pang on your chest. "I did it!"

"You should compete in the next Winter Olympics."

"If I wasn't so nervous that I'd fall, I'd get you for that comment."

"After everything I went through to teach you?" You gasped, "You have a weird idea of how thankfulness works, Munson."

"Oh, let me show you just how thankful I am." He grinned, and before you could even respond, he was already skating away from you, slightly wobbly on his feet. And as he skated further away from you, the panging in your chest only seemed to get stronger.

"So, was today as bad as you thought it'd be?" You asked, looking up at Eddie as the two of you were walking towards your house.

"Well, tonight's not over yet, is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, we haven't done what I want to do, so tonight can't be over." He smiled, turning to look at you while you stared back at him in confusion. "Reading comics."

"Ah, yes. How could I forget." You laughed, digging your keys out of the pocket of your jacket, and swiftly opening the front door. "I've got to warn you though, I don't have anything new to read."

"It's okay, we can just read the old Spider-Mans you stole from me." He grinned, brushing snow out of his clothes as the two of you got out of your top layers. "If you still have them, of course."

"First of all, I didn't steal them. You gave them to me." You said, leading Eddie into your living room. "Secondly, obviously, I have them."

"Aren't you sentimental."

"Shut it." You quipped, shaking your head. "Can you light the fire? I'll go get them."

"Your wish is my command." He grinned, watching as you rushed up the stairs. When you got to your bedroom, you didn't even have to look for them, as you knew exactly where'd they be. As you knelt down next to your bed, you fished out a white shoe box that was decorated with small scribbles made by both you and Eddie.

You rushed back down the stairs, holding the box firmly in your hands as Eddie was kneeling in front of the fireplace, staring into the fire he had just lit.

"You seem ponderous." You said, leaning on the banister with a smile on your face, his gaze fixated on you as you approached him, putting the shoebox on the ground. "What were you thinking about?"

"You." He said as if it was the most casual thing one could say, now staring at the box in front of you longingly. "You kept this?"

"Yeah, of course." You said, looking down at the box where his hand now rest, putting your hand on top of his. "It's ours, you know."

"It's almost seven years old." He said, now looking at you. As you felt blood rushing to your cheeks, you looked down, trying to avoid looking at him to the best of your ability. "Look at me."

When you refused to do as he asked, you could feel his hand on your cheek as he turned your head to get you to look at him, yet you still kept your gaze down.

"Why would you keep something so old?"

You looked up at him, his beautiful face lit up only by the light from the fireplace, his pupils almost indistinguishable from his brown eyes.

"Why do you think?"

As the words hung around you, you could feel your heart pounding against your chest, wishing that you could read his thoughts, to know if you'd thrown away a friendship you'd cherished for over half of your life. Maybe he didn't like you, or maybe-

His lips were on yours.

You didn't have time to think it over, your lips moving in sync with his, Eddie's ringed hand coming to rest on your cheek, the warmth from his hand almost sticking to your cheek, spreading across your body as you moved closer to him, bringing your hand to his neck.

Somehow, it felt slow but rushed at once, and when he pulled away from you, your head felt like it was in the clouds- and you know he was the one who brought you there. You were still inches away from one another, and you weren't able to distinguish which of the heavy breaths came from you, and which ones came from Eddie.

"So..." You said in between breaths, tangling one of your hands with Eddie's, while the other stayed on his the back of his neck, "Do I owe you ten dollars, or not?"

He chuckled, brushing hair off your face with a smile.

"Let me kiss you again before I decide."

[doped-on-galaxies]

I'll never understand how Advanceshippers swear by how their ship is superior to Contestshipping.

Not even throwing shade, (okay maybe a little) but seriously! I get that Drew was a dick in the beginning, but let's face it he was never the bad guy or the ladies man that people made him out to be.

Being loved by women and being a ladies man are two different things. Let's get that straight. He enjoyed his status as a coordinator because he was the shit and he knew it. It wasn't because it got him closer to women. He enjoyed watching his Pokemon shine, and of course- like anyone in his position, he enjoyed being the center of the spotlight as well. Just like Dawn, Harley, May, Solidad, Serena, hell even Ash. It was in his blood to become a coordinator, so guess what?? He did it and was damn good at it. Anyone in his position would have fans. Not to mention Drew obviously showed he was uncomfortable being surrounded by mobs of female fans. It was different if someone came up to him respectfully, but I dont see him thoroughly enjoying having other people obsessively getting in his personal space. Drew is a loner. He doesn't make friends with just anyone.

Next! The thought of him being a bad person for May. Drew is a WONDERFUL person for May. This is non-negotiable. Don't @ me.

Let's start from That's Flower Power.

Yes Drew was very harsh at the beginning, (key word: BEGINNING) and he was snarky and could've been a lil bit nicer, but he wasn't a bad person. He saw May needed help on something, and then immediately took action (attacking Team Rockert and getting their Bluk berries back.) The only reason he was hard on her was because he sees this beginner with potential who doesn't have the exact hang of it yet, so he strives to push her harder. I believe he was snarky to the gang as well due to him noticing her friends are enabling her to accept minor effort. Kinda like how a mom would treat a baby for taking their first bite. Congratulations! You'll get there! That's the thing though, May wasn't a baby. She was a young teen, (I say teen because YES they are 10, but let's face it.. nobody in anime acts their age. They act a little bit older. Hence there is no way in hell 10 year olds would go off with 15 year olds on their own to travel the world) and she needed to be pushed to her limit just enough to see the bigger picture. She didn't know that, the gang didn't know that, hell WE growing up didn't really realize that, but Drew did. It's the truth. The gang enabled her to stay at her mediocre pace. They didn't do anything wrong for that, but they didn't help her reach her potential any bit faster. Drew did though. Each time she surprised him, he got sweeter and gave her a little bit more praise everytime. Yes, he remained harsh, but she still had a lot to learn. Might I add, nobody could push her the way Drew did. There are so many scenes where it shows how much Drew subconsciously pushed her to want to be better. A matter of fact- in The Unbeatable Lightness of Seeing Max tries to get Ash and May to battle and GUESS WHAT?!?!? May responds, "NO WAY!"

Now this could mostly be from their battle styles being similar, but despite that she openly admits the loss to Solidad was bothering her much more at the time. She WANTED to be better and find her own battling style, but she couldn't yet due to the fact she was depressed from her loss and it was holding her back. All it takes is her and Drew having a 5 second stare-down into each other's eyes for her to get off her ass for the first time in like 5 episodes. That's it. That is all it took. Not to mention even though she lost to him it gave her closure. She admittedly said it herself that she thought she caught up, but he pulled away again. All Drew said was, "Well you gotta keep moving, I guess" and that was the absolute truth. That's all her wanted her to do, was to keep moving no matter what. Keep being. That's another reason I believed she went to Johto. She didn't need Ash and Brock anymore. She needed herself and the things that made her lil coordinator soul light up. She needed change, and she needed Drew. Everyone can say "Oh all Harley and Solidad went too" yeah no shit, and I bet if she found out only Harley was going to the Johto region she would've been like, "LMFAO LET ME GO TO SINNOH" but because of Drew going she decided she wanted to continue following him, because he was her rival.

OKAY NOW TO THE FUN PART!!!

WHEN

HAS

MAY

EVER

BLUSHED

TOWARDS

Ash

LITERALLY NOT EVEN ONCE LMFAO.

Not even in that stereotypical filler episode that almost EVERY Pokegirl gets where some random ass character that nobody ever sees again accuses Ash and the main female character of having feelings with each other. EVEN LANA HAD MORE HINTS OF HAVING FEELINGS FOR ASH, hell at least she blushed 🤷🏼‍♀️ There were seriously never any hints between them two, they were more like siblings. They were so alike it was unreal and that's why May no longer wanted to travel with Ash because it didn't benefit her in the end, which is why she went to follow Drew instead!

Might I add if someone says "weLL iT wAs jUsT a KiDs sHoW tHeY cOuLdNt dO mUcH" just stfu because Serena literally kissed Ash. They got away with so much shit when Pokemon was owned by ForKids that they seriously could have put a kissing scene in there if they wanted to. They could have added *hints* towards Ash and May if they WANTED to, but they chose to show hints towards May and Drew instead since they were the closest thing to canon on the series other than Amourshipping and Pokeshipping. HELL EVEN PEARLSHIPPING HAD MORE HINTS THAN ADVANCESHIPPING but it is an easy comparison when one has things to back them up and the other doesn't have anything to back them up 🤷🏼‍♀️ but we already knew that!!!