#well cool that solves The Mystery I guess

[wurm-food]

hm ah yes I see the reason I am feeling mentally unstable is because it is That Time ™

[kaiserouo]

idk someone about bones or whatever

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 4 :)

[an-incoherent-mess]

So I'm really into genealogy and have been for a few years now and I'm blessed with being really good with names and dates etc. So in conversation I can remember like a ridiculous amount of:

Jane Doe Smith Johnson

b. 1805 Tennessee d. 1879 Missouri

Married 1828 to John Patrick Johnson. Had five children. Died of TB

Etc etc

And that's cool enough apparently but I've mostly been using it for

A. Making up bullshit but real sounding names for stuff (i.e my name is Emily Stewart, Grace Kolár, etc). The point is that they're normal sounding and varied.

B. Having a bizarre frame of reference for historical events. Like "oh [small town],[state] 1942 had [random] event happen? My 1st cousin 4x removed got married there that year, small world!"

It's so dumb, like I'll read about some historical event from my area (where I've had family in the vicinity of since the 1840s) and I'll link up the time frame in my head and be like hmm... I wonder what 3rd great aunt Helen thought about that happening next door to her church.

[inbarfink]

So when I wrote down that Big Undertale Meta Post about how Sans probably doesn’t remember RESETs at all and why that’s cool - I got a lot of responses to the tune of ‘that’s probably canon but I’m still gonna enjoy Sans Remember fics because of the angst’. And, well... first I want to emphasize that those are very good and correct responses! Like ‘I acknowledge might or might not be in the text but I am also gonna explore alternative ideas Because I Enjoy Them’ is a Good Damn Position to have! Transformative Fandom is Transformative on purpose! Engage with the text and it’s various analyses but don’t let it chain your creativity or fun!

It’s just that… all of the people saying that they prefer Sans Remembering ‘for the Angst’ make me think that maybe folks are kinda ignoring the incredible angst potential of Sans NOT remembering.

My original post focused on how cool it is that Sans manages to be so on-top-of-things even though he doesn’t remember anything - but let’s not ignore the fact that this situation is also grim as shit.

Through some mysterious super-science or whatever, Sans has managed to discover that his timeline is being RESET and altered constantly (before the Player came along, Flowey had already managed to basically 100% the entire Underground) and he has no memory of what's going on and what exactly is being altered. 

He knows he might’ve gone through the same day over and over and over again thousand times but he’s simply not aware of it. It’s all the helplessness and lack of forward momentum of a classic timeloop and none of the benefits of memorizing occurrences or acquiring extra information. That’s exactly the thing that drove him into his depressive spiral.

That line always strikes me. It’s like… Sans suspects that without the meddling of capricious immortal time gods, he’d be a much happier and motivated person. But he doesn’t know for sure, because he can’t remember how he was in some distant ‘original timeline’. He is essentially fighting to avenge a version of himself that might not even be real.

Like, yes, it is very impressive and badass how well Sans trained himself to notice every tiny little hint that might indicate that a RESET happened - but it’s impressive because the deck is stacked so heavily against him. And it is very impressive and badass how Sans managed to turn his weaknesses into strengths during his Boss Battle - but it’s impressive because these are usually huge weaknesses. Trying to work to solve a timeloop that you can only infer is going on through context clues is quite a hopeless and desperate mission!

Another bit in the Sans fight that I often think about is his unique reaction if you kill him and then RESET to Fight him again.

With how skilled he is at reading expressions, Sans probably knows what that ‘weird expression’ means, he knows the Player killed him once before and is here to try again. And yet he still goes along with the same attack plan he has, the one he knows killed him in that previous timeline. Why? Because he doesn’t know where the flaw in his plan was exactly, he can’t even begin to guess. So he has no choice but to go along with the plan he knows did kill him, because that’s the only thing he has. 

You know, the thing about Sans, is that he always plays his cards very close to his chest. It’s very hard to tell what exactly he’s thinking. That’s probably why so many people do believe he remembers RESET. If any non-Flowey character remembered RESETs, only Sans would be remotely able to hide it so well. But for me? It makes me wonder how much of his Troll who Knows Too Much persona is a bit of an act as well. 

You know, Sans’ deduction requires some keen observational skills - does he ever second-guess his conclusions? Living on constant high-alert that something has been reversed or that someone knows something they shouldn’t requires fostering a lot of paranoia, and that can’t be healthy for him. Is he ever overcome with doubt on whatever something was really an indication of a timeline RESET or not? How does he feel when he realizes something horrible happened on a previous timeline (for example, his brother dying) but he doesn’t know about the context to feel sure that he can stop it from happening again? 

I also think about it in terms of his relationship to Papyrus in general. Sans tends to hide so many things from Papyrus, especially in timelines where the Player is particularly kill-happy...

In part it’s about his perception that Papyrus’ kindness and pacifism is born from naïveté and thus the only way to preserve it is to hide the cruelty and harshness of the world from him (Undyne also does that). But also, with the paranoia and helplessness Sans lives in every day - is it any wonder that he might believe that ignorance is bliss?

I do truly think it’s beautiful how fandom can experiment with cool non-canon ideas! There are probably so many great emotional angsty ideas tied up to Sans remembering RESETs! I just feel it’ll be a shame if people ignore just how dire and depressing Sans’ canon situation also is!

[shijiujun]

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH 莲花楼 MYSTERIOUS LOTUS CASEBOOK

Guess I’m back for another rec, you know I’m there when I get minimum two bromance dudes and historical and OOMPH if you liked The Blood of Youth this might be up your lane!! Slightly similar main character premise but super good, the trope never gets old!!

TL;DR

- Stupid disciple + his (unknowing) shifu - Enemy bros “where is my shixiong’s remains?!” + “defeat me and find out” vibes who have to work together and form their deep friendship and get past misunderstanding and mystery blah blah love it - All-powerful legendary swordsman losing all his powers and becoming a legendary physician - Everything is about dead shixiong we don’t even know how the man looks like - Investigations and jianghu shenanigans, cases!!!  - Uwu puppy dog and good in martial arts disciple and his sickly, ex-legendary and still cool shifu who doesn’t know he’s a shifu LMAO - Yes uwu bromance, especially cuz shifu is DYING and he is WEAK and he gonna spit out blood and faint everywhere as they find cure for him 

-----------

AIRING DEETS

Total episodes: 40

Premiered on: July 23

VIP ends: August 18

Can be watched from iQiyi

Airing schedule: 6 episodes on the first day, 2 episodes everyday after for 6 days, then 8 episodes a week except for the last week, that has 6 episodes with finale

SUMMARY

Ten years ago, Li Xiangyi who was master of Sigu Sect, challenged Di Feisheng, master of the Jinyuan Alliance, to a fight on the seas, where they both end up critically hurt as Li Xiangyi tries to find out where his shixiong’s (Shan Gu Dao) corpse and bones went - his sect was attacked on the same day, and when he returns to the sect, critically injured, he sees some of his deputies blaming him for the attack, and instead of going in, he disappears after that.

Ten years later, Li Xiangyi is now Li Lianhua (Lotus Li LMAO) and he’s an eccentric but skilled doctor who has his eyes on earning money. By chance, he meets Fang Duobing (Fang Many Illness LMAO), a young, aspiring detective who’s super skilled in martial arts, but he’s been unable to enrol in Bai Chuan Yuan (the past Sigu Sect), a sort-of sect that plays an enforcer role in the pugilistic world and helps to solve cases, arrest wrongdoers, and the like. Fang Duobing’s dream is to get in, but as he’s the only son of two powerful people who’ve been refusing to let him be part of Bai Chuan Yuan, he’s failed the test 3 times despite being the most-skilled one there. On his third try, however, he tells the four masters of Bai Chuan Yuan that his shifu is Li Xiangyi, a Li Xiangyi who used to be a part of Bai Chuan Yuan and is still greatly missed by the four masters. They agree to it, but only if FDB solve three cases with arrests.

His first case leads him to meet LXY who’s now known as Li Lianhua, and their meeting doesn’t go off to a great start; FDB is idealistic and a rich, wealthy young master at heart who’s never suffered much hardship, and LLH drugs him after and scolds him for being too trusting of people and being too obvious, going around with two servants. LLH leaves him with parting words, only to meet him again later at the scene of the crime.

They solve cases together from there; LLH is still looking for his shixiong’s body ten years later, and decides to solve cases with FDB as a guise to get closer to the truth, making use of FDB slightly. Later, Di Feisheng recognises him, and the three of them are forced to become allies/friends to uncover a greater conspiracy. The clock is ticking for them as well, as Li Xiangyi was poisoned and injured ten years ago, and was given only ten more years to live. The story begins in the year that he’s meant to die.

*Fang Duobing met Li Xiangyi when he was young and still sickly, and Li Xiangyi encouraged him, and Fang Duobing held onto his every word and suffered a lot to become healthy again and as skilled as he is today, all because Li Xiangyi said those words to him that year ;-;

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH

(1) Fight scenes are GREAT 

- Water water water

- All female sect?!

(2) Bromance, subtle for now, but greater later I assume - ZENG SHUNXI’S FACE HE SO PUPPY BLURBLUR AND SMILING?! AND CHENG YI SMIRKING?! Like Fang Duobing is just wagging his tail and running after a person he doesn’t know is truly his shifu as he claims LOL

(3) Shifu Li Xiangyi not knowing he was shifu to Fang Duobing

(4) Li Xiangyi being the reason for Fang Duobing to EXIST but Li Xiangyi ain’t around anymore (not) and he sad and Li Xiangyi can’t tell him who he is UWUUUU

(5) Familiar faces hehe if you are a SNGX/The Blood of Youth and SHL fan 

(6) CASES ARE INTERESTING!!!

[elsa-fogen]

Ok, Rosie headcanon for you!! Might be a slight AU but whatever lol

I like to imagine that Rosie is actually REALLY old. Died in the 1400s or something (maybe for being a suspected witch 👀) , and she just sort of kept up with the times until she found a period that suited her (getting there on that). This also ties into Cannibal Town/Colony name thing!!

Idk how much you know about American history (I know if I didn't live in this crazy country I'd know nothing by choice lol), but in the late 1500s Roanoke Colony was established where North Carolina is now. They struggled with supplies and relations with native people so the founder left to get supplies/help etc; when he came back 5 years later everyone had disappeared without a trace, no graves, bodies, only the word "CROATOAN" carved into a rock. It's a mystery nobody has solved since.

BUT.

WHAT IF.

They ran out of resources, right? What if food ran so low that people began to resort to cannibalism? And things were going so badly that some desperate person tried to summon a demon, anything to help them?

And Rosie, twisted and dark as she may be, took her own sort of sympathy on the poor, struggling colony of Roanoke, and took them all down to Hell as her own colony of souls: Cannibal Colony, leaving Roanoke empty without a trace of its inhabitants. From then on, she just sort of adopted any cannibals who fell into hell as part of her little town, so long as they assimilated and didn't cause trouble. She owns all their souls, yes, but they have some level of peace and security knowing she'll take care of them.

With the "updating culture" thing, I also headcanon that she liked to keep up with the times and stay current until sometime after slavery ended, a little before Alastor arrived (depression era) she didn't like where modern times were headed and just sort of...stopped progress, like a time capsule. Modern times started progressing too fast, and she didn't want everything to be forgotten in the rush to the future, especially the way the human world was looking with the depression. She did rename them to Cannibal Town eventually, since it was more than just her original Colony that gave her Overlord status.

I love Rosie 👁👄👁 sorry for the giant text block lol

P.S. Your art inspires me so much!! And your characterizations are *chef's kiss* I feel like your blog is consistently one I can come to to get canon-accurate character content without facing an onslaught of r********e (finally someone who can't stand it as much as me! Sending all the love 💓

oH WOW! This is really damn good and interesting headcanon! You almost convinced me to change mine to this (well, i like the idea of Rosie being SUSPECTED witch gshssh angssssst yessss). I realized that actually I don't have much that keeps me from just accepting this. Only 2 things

one is that she in her life was fighting for women's rights, and keeps doing it in hell, but i guess she still can even being older.

second one is more important. Rosie and Alastor are roughly same age (30-40 age gap is nothing in hell, were age gaps can be thousands of years) and this is one of the reasons they get along, i think.

Plus in my plot Rosie being a relatively young overlord plays significant role...

But as i said, you headcanon really cool! Maybe i'd use it for some new AU haha

P.S. Your art inspires me so much!! And your characterizations are *chef's kiss* I feel like your blog is consistently one I can come to to get canon-accurate character content without facing an onslaught of r********e (finally someone who can't stand it as much as me! Sending all the love 💓

GAHYHHHAFGS THANK YOU! I'm really happy to know that i'm not alone on this hate board hsbfsdhfj

Here you can be safe, never ever you'll see anything positive about this ship on my blog 😂 (no offence to those who likes it) Love you too 💖💖💖

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Triangulum - Chapter 1- Return to the Falls

— — — — — — —

“Tree. Tree. Billboard. Gas station. Telephone pole. Tree. Billboar—hey, that one’s got a whale on it!”

The clink of metal to glass echoed through the nearly-empty bus as Mabel pressed her cellphone against the window. “I wonder why they always use whales as mascots for things like car washes?” she inquired. “It’s not like they can actually drive cars or anything! They’re too big to fit through the doors!”

Such a question drew an amused chuckle from the person on the other end of the phone. “I think the thought process there is, like…you use water to clean cars?” they guessed. “And whales live in the water? And then they figure everyone can make the rest of the connection from there.”

From the seat besides Mabel, Dipper looked up from his journal. “Whales are also filter-feeders,” he pointed out. “They filter their food through something called baleen plates, which kinda look like the flappy, hangy-down brushes and sponges in a car wash? Maybe that’s one reason.”

He pointed the tip of his pencil at Mabel. “Also, you know Dev can’t actually see the billboard over the phone, right? …Adding onto that, how are you getting a signal this far out in the woods?”

Mabel moved the phone from the window and pressed it tightly against her chest. “Through the power of love!”

“Yeah, well, I’m almost positive that the ‘power of love’ isn’t gonna make your phone magically grow a video screen and a high-quality internet connection.”

With a scowl, Mabel placed her hands on her hips. “Almost positive isn’t completely positive, Mr. Negative!”

She punctuated her remark with a raspberry, before turning her attention back to her phone. “Sorry, Dev, you know how Dipper is,” she said fondly. “The big dorkus always has to apply logic to everything.”

“He raises a good point, though,” Dev replied. “I wouldn’t’ve made the connection between baleen plates and car wash sponges on my own, so I’m glad he had all that off the top of his head.”

A laugh, before their tone grew more accusatory. “Almost as if someone’s in the middle of researching whales for a certain reason.”

Dipper shifted in his seat, his gaze suddenly and intently focused on a stain of unknown origin on the back of the seat in front of them. “I-I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“...Diiiiip, you promised we’d look into that story about those sky whales off the coast together!” Dev whined playfully. “We were gonna make a whole night of it once you guys got back, with a red yarn board and everything!”

“I swear I was going to wait!” Dipper insisted. “But, like, listen…we’re gonna be spending all summer with our great-uncles. And they’ve spent the last few months sailing around the world, hunting a bunch of cool, paranormal beings out there on the open seas.”

He pressed a hand to the back of his head. “And I thought…you know—”

“—you thought sky whales might be one of the things your uncles saw out on the ocean, and you wanted to learn as much as you could to look all cool and smart in front of them,” Dev finished for him. “Especially in front of the totally awesome, Multiverse-jumping—studier of all things weird and strange—Stanford Pines?”

A beat. “…The one you promised me you’d get an autograph from and I’m totally not using this as an excuse to remind you about that?”

This earned a laugh out of Dipper. “Subtly noted, but it’s just…they’re gonna have so many stories about the places they’ve been over the past nine months,” he elaborated. “The most exciting story I have is that Phoenix incident, and it wasn’t even a real Phoenix!”

Dev let out a groan. “Ugh, don’t remind me! Whose bright idea was it again to smuggle a chicken into Science class?”

“I guess that’s one mystery we’ll never solve,” Dipper added with a look of disgust. “But what we did learn is that burnt feathers smell like someone lighting their hair on fire in a barn.”

“No kidding! I’m never gonna get the smell of stale hay and dirt outta my nose!”

“This is why pigs are the superior livestock,” Mabel said, punctuating her point with an indignant harrumph. “No stinky feathers!”

Dipper nudged her with his elbow before he set his journal and pencil down on his lap. “Weren’t you complaining a month ago about how Waddles is too big to smuggle into school anymore?”

“That’s not his fault! It’s the fault of society and their inability to stop body shaming everything!” She pressed her hands, phone and all, against her cheeks. ”Especially the most adorable wittle piggy in the entire world and his fat wittle piggy tummy~!”

This earned a laugh from Dev. “They’re just jealous they can’t be him, I bet,” he agreed. “Either way, Dip, it’s no worries about the sky whales thing. Just means I’ve gotta start stocking up on new research material for when you guys get home.”

There was a light tapping sound from the other side of the phone, as if Dev were tapping the speaker with their finger. “And it means that you owe me one!” they insisted. “Which you can easily pay off by spilling all the deets about what went down up there last August!”

The twins exchanged a mirrored look. “Dev—”

“Come on, Dipping Dots, you can’t leave me hanging forever,” Dev begged. “I know it was more than just some weird weather patterns! Just…just give me a hint at least! Was it ghosts? Aliens? …Alien ghosts?”

Dipper shot his sister a look, one that she returned with an understanding nod. “Dipper, stop trying to steal my boyfriend’s attention with your nerdy-nerd talk!” she said, loud enough for Dev to hear. “I wanna get as much talking time as I can with him before we get to town!”

With a smirk, he gave her ribs another nudge with his elbow. “Hey, Dev was a part of the Paranormal/Supernatural Club before you two started going out!” he pointed out. “So technically—aha, stop!”

His words dissolved into laughter as Mabel retaliated by putting as much of her weight on him as she could. “Technically, schmechnically, you can’t do nerdy-nerd stuff with Dev if you’re flat as a pancake!” she said, her body vibrating with giggles as she smushed against him.

“Dev, help, I’m being smothered!” Dipper called to the phone, between bouts of his own laughter. “Tell Mabel she’s cute or something!”

This earned another laugh from Dev in response, one warm and full of affection. “Mabel Syrup, could you please stop trying to kill my best friend and Paranormal/Supernatural Club co-president?”

Smiling wider, Mabel straightened herself upright in the seat and held the phone in her ear. “We~ell, since you’re using that nickname, I guess I can be merciful today!”

With a dramatic gag, Dipper pointed a finger at his throat in disgust. “Ugh, I said call her cute, not break out the pet names.”

“It’s not my fault she’s as sweet as her namesake.”

“It’s not her namesake!”

“Boys, boys,” Mabel interrupted with a giggle. “As fun as it is to both flirt with my boyfriend and annoy my brother at the same time, I do think we should circle back to the point Dip made earlier about my cell reception.” She held the phone back up to her ear. “Since we’re almost at the Falls anyway, you wanna go ahead and hang up before the majestic oaks of Oregon do it for us?”

Dipper raised a finger. “Technically the trees around here are mostly firs and birch trees.”

“Oaks, Oregon…I wanted the words to sound all samey-samey,” Mabel pointed out. “And firs doesn’t start with an O.”

“...Neither does majestic?”

“Yeah, we can hang up for now,” Dev said. “I’m sure you guys probably wanna spend the rest of the day settling in, but if you don’t mind talking later tonight—”

“Uh, of course we can talk tonight~!” Mabel interrupted excitedly. “Not only that, I can introduce you to my Grunkles if they’re finished settling in by that point, too! And I’m sure Soos and Melody will want to say hi—ooh, and of course you can meet Candy and Grenda when we have our inevitable ‘Back In Gravity Falls’ sleepover—”

“Okay, maybe we slowly ease Dev into the weirdness that is Gravity Falls and everyone in it?” Dipper suggested. “Besides, I’d like some time to talk to them over the summer, too!”

“Hey, I take offense to that,” Dev said. “The first thing, not the second. Are you forgetting who sought you out to join your club in the first place? And brought his own research material to the very first meeting?”

Dipper gently pulled the phone towards him. “Are you forgetting who’s actually been to Gravity Falls in the first place?”

“No, but I’m also not forgetting who’s keeping all the juicy details about what happened last summer to themselves,” Dev pointed out in return.

“Okay, okay,” Mabel said, pulling the phone back. “No more nerd talk about nerd things, you’re wasting all my minutes! Use your own minutes for that!”

She returned it to her ear with a wide grin. “But we can figure out a proper talking schedule later,” she said sweetly, then paused. “...After tonight though, because you already said we could talk and no take backs!”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Dev assured her. “Love you.”

“And I looooove—” Mabel wiggled her finger with a mischievous look before booping it against the screen of her phone. “—you~!”

“...Did you boop the phone?”

“Yeah-huh~!”

“Bye, Dev!” Dipper called as well. “...I know you two are having a moment, but I wanted to say bye, too!”

“Bye to both of you!” Dev replied. “Talk to you tonight!”

There was a click as the call ended and Mabel pressed the phone against her chest. “Ehehe, I love them!”

“So I’ve gathered,” Dipper said with a smile. “What’re you guys at now, seven months?”

“Seven months, and seventeen days~!” Mabel clarified, with a closing slap of her flip phone and a delighted kick of her feet. “Can you believe it? Last year I would’ve gone through at least seventy guys in that amount of time! Now look at me! Miss Lady-In-A-Serious-Relationship-With-One-Of-The-Best-Guys-In-The-World over here~!”

“You know that number’s a wild exaggeration, right?”

“You’re a wild exaggeration,” Mabel retorted, with a nudge to his shoulder. “And I like how you couldn’t even argue the ‘one of the best guys in the world’ thing, because you know it’s true! Well, he’s the best guy whenever he’s actually in guy mode, of course. Otherwise he’s just the best significant other! But right now, he’s the best guy in the world! 

With a wide grin, she snaked an arm around Dipper’s shoulder before once again smushing most of her weight against him. “Except for thiiiiis best guy in the world, of course~!” she said, words slightly muffled from how her cheek was squished against his arm. “Who knows he absolutely doesn’t count when it comes to me talking about the best guys in the world, because it already goes without saying that he’s the best guy in the world!”

She gave him a squished little smile. “He knows that, right?”

With a warm smile of his own, Dipper gently pushed her back to her side of the bus seat. “He knows that. Although ‘best guy in the world’ is starting to sound like a fake sentence.”

“Haha, yeah,” Mabel agreed with a giggle. “I used it a lot, huh?”

An oink beneath their legs turned their attention to the underside of the seat in front of them, where a fat, pink hog peered up at them with a lazy tilt of his head.

With a squeal of utter delight, Mabel reached down and scooped him up in her arms. “Aww, we can’t forget about the other best guy in the world~!” she cooed, cradling him like a baby. “Are you having fun crawling around and eating all the abandoned wrappers and gum stuck to the underside of the seats?”

Waddles let out another oink and contently buried his snout in the bend of her arm, as if he considered himself nothing more than a simple lap dog. Despite his own amusement at the sight, Dipper raised an eyebrow at his sister. “Seriously, you should probably stop letting him do that before the driver gets fed up and makes us walk the rest of the way.”

“He wouldn’t dare,” Mabel insisted. “This bus is probably the cleanest its ever been! If anything, the driver should be thanking Waddles for helping him out!”

After giving Waddles’ body a shake for additional emphasis, she pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Isn’t that right, you big, pink angel? You even missed your chance to say hi to Dev because you were too busy being the most helpful piggy around!”

“Too bad we couldn’t use him as a distraction,” Dipper said, and reached for his journal again. “You know Dev’s as crazy about him as you are.”

Mabel’s smile fell, and she tightened her embrace around Waddles’ body. “Right…”

Dipper’s hand froze less than an inch from the journal, and he gave her a sympathetic look. “The squishing me was a nice touch,” he said with a halfhearted smile of his own. “Really took his mind off the Weirdmageddon topic…”

With a sigh, he flipped it open to the page he’d been writing on and picked up his pencil. “You know, we could just ask Mayor Tyler if we can bend the rules a little bit and tell our buddy back home about what happened last summer.”

Mabel leaned her body back towards the window, her head hitting the glass with a light thump. “What if he doesn’t believe us?”

“Who, Mayor Tyler? I mean, if we promised that Dev wouldn’t go blabbing it to other people and told him about how obsessed he is with the town, he’d probably understand—”

“Dev, Dipper,” Mabel clarified. “What if Dev doesn’t believe us?”

“Have you met the guy?” Dipper asked. “Out of anyone back home, I feel like he’d be the first one to believe us. I mean, are we forgetting that this is the same person who swears up and down that they've kissed an alien before?"

A pause. "Before following that claim up with ‘but I’d rather kiss Mabel before kissing a thousand aliens’ like the hopeless romantic he is?”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Mabel’s mouth, but disappeared just as quickly as it threatened to appear. “I mean, he does say that all the time. But…”

“But?”

Mabel let out an uncertain hum, but any further response was cut off by the sound of faint crackling from the bus’s loudspeaker. “Attention, passengers, we are approaching the city limits of Gravity Falls, and will be arriving within the town itself in a matter of minutes,” the driver’s voice rang out cheerfully. “Just in case anyone was interested in peering out their window as we passed by the welcome sign, for sentimental reasons.”

The twins shared a mirrored look before quickly scooting over to the window, just in time to see the familiar sign that marked the town’s border whiz past the bus.

It was a fleeting sight; one that came and went within seconds. But their silence continued for a just a bit longer after it passed, even as the endless line of trees finally began to melt into familiar homes and buildings.

Still keeping her attention fixed on the view outside, Mabel’s hand instinctively found her brother’s and gave it a light squeeze. “We’re back…”

Dipper nodded, squeezing her hand in return. “We’re back.”

They remained still, letting themselves be lost in the thrill of finally being back in that old, familiar town for just a few minutes longer, before the realization that they needed to be ready to exit the bus finally motivated them to start gathering up their belongings. “Okay, since we’re now officially back in town,” Mabel began, setting Waddles aside so she could pull her bag to her lap. “What’re you looking forward to the most this summer?”

“Hmm, hard to say,” Dipper said, reaching for his own. “I mean, last year I spent most of the summer trying to uncover the mysteries behind the journal’s author, then spent the remaining time after that with the author himself!”

He unzipped the front and stuffed his journal inside. “Guess I’m just looking forward to spending more time with Grunkle Ford again, now that he doesn’t have to stay down in the basement and deal with all that Bill stuff,” he said. “I know I wanna tell him all about the stuff me and Dev have studied together, and—ooh, I really wanna introduce him to that DDnmD podcast we've been listening to recently—”

“Hey, that was what I was looking forward to, too!” Mabel said delightedly. “Well, not the nerd stuff but the ‘spending time with Grunkle Ford’ stuff! You got to spend so much time with him last year, and I barely got to see him at all! I know we got to cover Bill's dumb grave with all that unicorn hair together, but that's BARELY a blip on the Niece-and-Great-Uncle-Bonding Time scale! So this year I’m determined to spend as much time with him as I possibly can! You know a guy who puts that much effort into his journals has to be a pro at scrapbooking!”

She reached into her bag and pulled something out with a wide grin, before holding it up for Dipper to see. “I even made him a personalized sweater, so he has another one to wear besides his red one!” she explained, pointing to a smiling picture of Ford on the front. “See? I knitted a happy little picture of him—” She moved her finger to the next one. “—and this one’s of the six-fingered hand that was on his journals—”

And finally her finger landed on the stitched writing at the bottom. “—and this part says ‘A-FORD-able! Not like ‘affordable’, but like ‘adorable with Ford!’’ …I was already halfway done when I remembered ‘affordable’ was already a word, so I just added that last part instead of undoing everything.”

While she stuffed the sweater back into her bag, Dipper added: “I think I’m also looking forward to just spending time with Grunkle Stan in general, too. I mean, sure, we got to spend a lot of time with him last year.”

He waved his hands. “But he was hiding such a big secret, one he had to deal with by himself. This year, he’s got nothing to hide!”

Mabel held up both pointer fingers. “Right! Because the something he had to hide is gonna be right there next to him! And the thing that was hiding no longer has to hide in any way!” She smushed them together with silly little noises for emphasis. “And since Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford are getting along now, it means we can all spend time together like one big happy family!” 

Satisfied with her own amateur pantomime, she dropped her hands and returned to her belongings. “Speaking of which, who did Grunkle Stan say was going to be greeting us at the bus stop?” she asked. “I know Soos and Grunkle Ford will be there, but I really hope Candy and Grenda can make it!”

She beamed widely. “Grenda said in her last letter that she’s been taking up wrestling, and that she learned a move that could possibly snap me in half! Although Candy discredited this claim with the fact that she only got a fractured disc when Grenda tried it on her, but you know what they say: practice makes perfect!”

Dipper raised an eyebrow. “You guys can’t just hug each other?”

“We can hug as she’s breaking my spine in two!”

With a shrug, Dipper slung his bag over his shoulder. “Well, to answer your original question; yeah, Ford and Soos are gonna be there. Other than that, I’m not sure. Your friends being there is something you’d know more than I would, and I can’t think of anyone else who would come.”

He tapped a hand to his chin as he thought hard for a moment. “I know Soos and Melody wanted to throw that welcome-back party for us tomorrow, though. So maybe they’ll only have a small group of people at the bus stop today. You know, to give us time to get settled in without being bombarded by a billion people?”

Mabel stuck out her lip and gave the seat in front of them a defiant slam with her fists. “Boooooo, I want to be bombarded by people! I wanna be able to give out at least three-dozen hugs before Grenda snaps me in half like a twig!”

“I once again ask why you guys can’t just hug each each other.”

“Bombardment!” Mabel chanted, slamming her fist in rhythm. “Bombardment!”

There was another crackle of the loudspeakers over their heads as the driver spoke again: “Attention, passengers; this is a follow-up to the previous announcement, but there might be a bit of a delay in getting you to the next stop.”

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a curious look, before Dipper cupped his hands around his mouth and called: “Why?”

“Has the traffic here gotten that bad in nine months?” Mabel added.

Another crackle from the intercom. “See for yourselves, kids.”

At the driver’s suggestion, the twins scooted out of their seats and into the aisleway, remaining bags in hand and Waddles at their heels as they made their way to the front of the bus. As they came to a stop near the bus driver’s seat, their eyes grew wide at the sight that awaited them in the street below.

To the eyes of an unknown tourist, it would look like nothing more than a dozen garden gnomes stacked atop each other before a collection of golf balls spilled all over the road. 

To anyone who’d spent enough time in Gravity Falls, however—

“For the last time, Franz; either you cross the street quickly or we’re letting a car run you over.”

At the front of the collection of golfballs—or more accurately, small persons by the name of Lilliputtians who happened to strongly resemble golfballs—a blue ball crossed their arms with a sour look towards the gnome at the top of the pile. “And we’re telling you for the last time, Jeff, we’re going as fast as we can!” he argued in return. “It’s not like we can just stack ourselves on top of each other like you gnomes can!”

“You’re golf balls!” The gnome, Jeff, pointed out irritably. “You can roll!”

Franz scoffed and placed his hands on his hips. “Oh, so just because we happen to look like golf balls, you think we can roll everywhere?” he asked. “What about you gnomes, huh? Without linking up to each other, I’ll bet you couldn’t go more than a few feet without getting winded!”

Jeff crossed his own arms with a roll of his eyes. “Yeah, well, you’ve never seen Shmebulock run after six nosefuls of mushroom spores.”

His point was emphasized by an enthusiastic “Shmebulock!” from one of the gnomes at the bottom of the snack.

From the bus, the twins shared a knowing look before Mabel turned to the bus driver. “You know what? You can just let us off here, we can walk the rest of the way.”

“And we’ll see what we can do about clearing the road for you,” Dipper added.

With a shrug, the driver opened the doors to the bus and the two headed down the stairs; Mabel bounded out the door and onto the sidewalk with a delighted laugh while Dipper followed behind with more reserved steps. 

Despite their different methods of stair descension, their smiles were equally bright as they looked to the smaller beings still crowded in the middle of the road. “So, what do you think’s going on?” Dipper asked.

Mabel turned back to the bus steps and reached out to grab Waddles, who had slowly and piggishly ambled down the steps after them. “Not sure, but isn’t it wild to see both groups just…out in the middle of the street like this?”

“Right?!” Dipper said with enthusiastic agreement. “It’s like—not even five minutes back in town and we’re already getting a taste of peak Gravity Falls weirdness!”

After setting Waddles down to the sidewalk, Mabel clapped her hands together with just as much gusto. “I know, isn’t it great?”

“I’m warning you for the last time, Jeff: get out of our way before we knock your bearded butts down like rolling pins!” Franz insisted firmly. “You wanna see how fast we can actually roll? Keep pushing my buttons and you’ll find out!”

The twins exchanged a look. “Right, we should probably do the thing we got off the bus early to do,” Dipper said. “Otherwise we just made getting to the shack harder for ourselves for no reason.”

“Well, at the very least you can add ‘breaking up a fight between golf ball people and gnomes’ to the list of cool stories to tell Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford,” Mabel pointed out. “I’m almost positive they haven’t had a chance to do that yet!”

Dipper let out a laugh. “Weren’t you just saying a little bit ago that almost positive isn’t completely positive?”

With a laugh of her own, Mabel pushed a lighthearted fist to his arm before turning her gaze to the groups bickering in the road. “So how are we doing this?”

A shrug. “I mean, smartest method would just be to ask them why they’re fighting.”

“Very true!” Mabel said. “And who knows? Maybe if we know why they’re fighting, we can help them work it out peacefully.”

“Or we can at least distract them long enough to get them outta the road,” Dipper pointed out. “Then if they wanna continue the fight on the sidewalk, we just start heading for the shack.”

“That is also something we can do~!” 

She cupped her hands around her mouth and called loudly: “Hey, boys! What’s with all the commotion and bus blocking?”

“Yeah, none of you are more than two feet tall, and you should probably get out of the road before cars realize they can just run over you,” Dipper added helpfully.

From his spot in the road, Jeff let out a scoff. “Maybe on our own, but we gnomes could always just—”

He fell silent, the delayed realization of whom he was speaking to finally settling in as he looked to Dipper and Mabel with wide eyes. And he was not the only one; the attention of both gnomes and Lilliputtians alike were now focused solely on Dipper and Mabel.

“Well, shiver me timbers, amongst other pirate-y exclamations of surprise!” One of the pirates piped up. “The Saviors of the Falls be returned to us at last!”

“The Hugelings are back!” A knight Lilliputtian added excitedly.

The rest of the group (both gnome and golfball alike) let out similar exclamations of delight, their crosswalk argument momentarily forgotten as they all hurried to the sidewalk to greet the twins. 

And once the bus driver took advantage of the cleared road to continue onwards, the commotion was enough to also draw the attention of other nearby townsfolk. Townsfolk who—Dipper and Mabel observed as they got a good look around—were not quite as human as they had been the year prior.

A fair number of them were still clearly human; Tad Strange could be seen purchasing a loaf of bread through the window of a nearby store, while the man known as the ‘Free Pizza’ guy was taking a leisurely stroll just a short distance up the road.

But there was also no mistaking the mermaid in a small, mobile tank at an outside table for the nearby bistro, pulling her attention from her waterproof phone long enough to look their way.  Or the Abominable Bro-man stepping out of a nearby Jeep, the remaining three Bro-men still seated in the vehicle and pumping their fists in the air as they chanted his name with fraternal unity. A chant that quickly melted into the twins' names when the original Bro-man pointed them out with a look of pure, righteous elation.

And there was certainly no missing the flock of Eye-Bats resting comfortably on the nearby powerlines alongside a group of ordinary woodpeckers, or the Woodpecker-peckers that had taken up residence upon the original birds’ backs. While the peckers and pecker-peckers showed little interest in the kids, one Eye-Bat shifted its attention down towards them with mild curiosity, before turning to the nearest Woodpecker-pecker and shooting a burst of energy from its cornea. In a flash, the miniature bird had been transformed into solid stone, the extra weight causing the powerline to sag beneath the original—but otherwise unbothered—Woodpecker.

As more townsfolk—human and supernatural alike—also turned their attention towards the kids, Dipper cast an amused look to his sister. “You still in the mood to get bombarded by a bunch of people?”

Mabel giggled in response, and carefully picked up one of the Lilliputtians for a hug. “I don’t know what point you’re trying to prove, this is awesome! It’s like our own little welcome parade!”

“Well, if this isn’t a delightful delight of a sight~!”

At the sound of another voice, both turned their attention towards a thin man approaching them from further down the sidewalk. His overall demeanor was riddled with giddiness and a cartoonish banner that read ‘Mayor’ was displayed prominently across his chest. “Dipper and Mabel Pines! I was wondering when you two would finally get back to town!”

He waggled a finger at them. “And here I thought I’d have to wait until tomorrow night to say hello to you kids again!”

“Hi, Mayor Tyler,” Mabel said, giving him a wave with the arm that wasn't wrapped around the Lilliputtian, before using it to gesture to the rest of them. “I see someone’s been having a busy nine months~!”

Dipper nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it’s so cool to see the gnomes and everyone else just…wandering around the town like this!”

From where the gnomes were gathered, Jeff let out a smug little chuckle. “Hear that, Franz? We got a personal shoutout and everything.”

Franz turned to glare at him. “You know he was only using you pointy-hatted jerks as an example!”

“I’ll make an example outta you, you round son of a—”

Their heated exchange from before returned in full swing as the two groups began to argue again, the Lilliputtian in Mabel’s arms leaping back down to join the fight with balled fists and a collection of gnome-targeted obscenities.

In response, Mabel’s gestured arm shifted to a pointing finger. “Oh, right, they were fighting in the middle of the street and blocked our bus.”

With a sigh, Tyler pressed a hand to his forehead. "Again?"

Near his foot, a French Lilliputtian piped up with a mighty: "Sacré bleu!"— one that likely translated out to "Again!"—before he hurled his body at the nearest gnome.

While they watched this unfold, Dipper looked back to Tyler. “So is this, like…normal for them?”

“I’m afraid so,” Tyler replied wearily. "They simply cannot stop butting heads no matter how I try to clear the air—oh, hold on, I worry they might start biting if I don’t do something—”

He moved towards the center of the combined groups, carefully tiptoeing between the small golf balls with an ease that implied he had done this countless times before, and came to a stop near both Franz and Jeff. “Now, boys, you know we’ve talked about this no less than a week ago!”

Franz pointed a finger at Jeff, eyebrows furrowed. “He was trying to rush us again—”

“—and I was pointing out how, again, they can just roll across the crosswalk!” Jeff argued in retaliation. “I just don’t understand how they’ve got the ability to move that fast, but then get mad at people for pointing out they have it!”

Franz shook a fist at him. “Oh, I’ll show you fast, with how fast I can ram my hand up your—”

“Okay, gentleman,” Tyler interrupted quickly, and took a knee so he could be closer to them. “Jeff, you know what I’ve said about antagonizing the Lilliputtians. If you and your boys can’t play nice, I might have to resort to—well, looking elsewhere for a crossing guard!”

“Wh—aw, come on!” Jeff protested. “That’ll be the fifth job we’ve lost in a month! Do you know how hard it is to nab the attention of a potential queen if we go back to being a bunch of unemployed chumps?”

Franz rolled his eyes. “Yeah, pretty sure it’s not the lack of a job they hate about you.”

“Why, you little—”

Jeff launched his entire body at Franz as the two of them began to squabble again, and Tyler reached out to grab them both by the back of their shirts. “Hey, come on now! I’m a fan of a good fight as much as the next guy, but you’re setting a bad example in front of our special guests—”

This earned a shrug from the twins. “I mean, we really don’t care,” Dipper said.

“One of them tried to kill us, the other tried to marry me,” Mabel added. “We’ve kinda already seen both of them at their worst already.”

“Need some help?”

A familiar voice from behind—followed by a massive shadow enveloping both of them in shade—turned both twins around, only for them to be greeted by the sight of a tall Manotaur towering high above them. But what really grabbed their attention was the teenager seated on his left shoulder, smile wide as she hopped down to the sidewalk in front of them. Her hair was much shorter than the last time they had seen her, just barely peeking out from beneath the faded hat that she had swapped with Dipper for her own. And her original green flannel shirt had been exchanged for an unbuttoned red one over a white tank top. 

Despite the differences in her appearance, however, there was no mistaking who she was—and her old hiking boots had barely touched the pavement before the twins rushed to embrace her in a joint hug. “Wendy!”

With a laugh, Wendy slunk an arm around each of their shoulders to hug them in return. “And here I thought you squirts would beat me up to the Shack,” she said, moving her hands to playfully noogie the tops of their heads. “What’re you doing all the way down here?”

Mabel gestured to the small crowd before them. “Well, our bus had to stop because—”

“Oh, for the love of—” Wendy interrupted with a sigh, before looking over to Tyler. “Are they fighting again?”

From where he stood—desperately holding the two leaders at arm’s length to prevent more blood from being drawn—Tyler’s expression melted into a look of relief. “Wendy! Thank goodness you’re here!” he said. “Uh, would you and Chutzpar mind—”

She crossed her arms with a miffed look. “You know, people are going to think it’s unprofessional that the mayor has to keep getting help from outside sources to solve the town’s issues—”

“Wendy, please?”

Wendy rolled her eyes, and looked up towards the Manotaur beside her. “Whaddaya think, Big Guy?”

“Many months ago, I would’ve encouraged the idea of using violence to solve one’s problems,” Chutzpar said stoically. “And I still would, were it not an inconvenience to Mayor Tyler.”

He held up a finger. “Punching out your feelings is not inherently a bad way to solve some issues, but there is a time and place for it,” he continued. “And right in the middle of town where people are looking to enjoy their day isn’t the right time nor the right place! So KNOCK IT OFF or I’ll knock YOU OFF!”

He punctuated the last sentence with a warning stomp of his left hoof, one strong enough to rumble the sidewalk beneath everyone’s feet. And once he was finished, he looked to Wendy hopefully—as if he were expecting her to praise him for his answer—and she gave an approving nod before looking to the crowd: “You guys chill now, or does he need to do that again?”

Thankfully the fighting had immediately ceased at Chutzpar’s warning stomp, both gnome and Lilliputtians alike trembling in shock. “H-hey, that’s a really rude way to get someone to stop doing something, you know!” Franz said irritably.

“Yeah,” Jeff piped up in agreement. “You can’t just use your Manotaur buddy to push us around like that!”

“Yeah, well, maybe next time you’ll stop fighting when Tyler asks you to stop first,” Wendy said. “Besides, it worked, didn’t it? You guys are actually agreeing on something and have chilled out a little bit, right?”

Franz and Jeff exchanged a skeptical look, before they both turned away in disgust with halfhearted mutters of “I guess so.” and “Whatever.” in unison.

“Guys...”

Jeff crossed his arms. “Fine, I guess it doesn’t really matter how long they take to get across the street," he said defeatedly. "Besides, the longer we man the cross work, the more chances we get to snag attention from potential queen candidates who'd be impressed by the fact that we're employed."

“And I guess we could speed up a bit when we walk,” Franz added. “We’ll probably have to now, if we wanna make it to the sticker store and back to the golf course before our lunch break is over.”

Tyler clasped his hands together. “There, you see? Problem-solving!” he said delightedly. “Now, let’s clear off the sidewalk and give Dipper and Mabel some breathing room, okay?”

With only a small handful of grumbling, the gnomes and Lilliputtians shuffled back towards the crosswalk. Once they had properly dispersed, Tyler stood up to full height again and clasped his hands together. “Thank you so much, Wendy, you are an angel in lumberjack’s clothing~!”

Wendy crossed her arms again, expression souring at his compliment. “I meant what I said; you’ve really gotta get a handle on doing stuff like this by yourself,” he said. “The town’s not gonna take a guy who can’t even break up a fight between some gnomes and sentient golf balls seriously.”

Tyler chuckled nervously and once again pressed a hand to his forehead. “Well, regardless, your help is always appreciated!” he said, with a look to Chutzpar. “And thank you once again for all your help, big fella. I’m actually glad I caught you, I was actually on my way over to the lumbermill to discuss Thursday’s plans with Dan—”

This earned him an annoyed scoff from Wendy, while Chutzpar simply nodded. “Yes, that is the reason we were on our way to see you—”

“I was on my way to the Mystery Shack.”

“—why we were on our way to see you, before we made our way to the Mystery Shack,” Chutzpar continued, paying no mind to Wendy’s interruption. “I come with a message from him. And a gift.”

He looked to Wendy, who gave him a nod far more halfhearted than his own, before he held out the small object he had been carrying in one of his mighty fists. 

It was a small, wood-carved animal (a bear to be specific), and it was clear that every notch in the wood had been carefully sculpted with care. A care that Tyler recognized with a look that was far less whimsical than his usual demeanor, and more of a genuine tenderness as he took the carving in his hand. “Oh, that darn man really knows how to spoil me rotten, doesn’t he?”

His smile widened as he looked back to Chutzpar. “You said he also had a message for me?”

Chutzpar nodded and reached into his pocket for a small stack of index cards. After taking a moment to shuffle them, he cleared his throat and began to read: “‘I am looking forward to Thursday. I was wondering if you would wear the panther shirt to dinner that I bought you in that two-for-one special. Panthers are powerful, and could tear a puma to—”

He casually flipped to the next index card, before gripping the entire stack tightly with both hands and ripping it in half a powerful yell of: ”—SHREDS!!!!’”

He held his stance for a moment, before slipping back into a more relaxed pose. “He specifically requested that I rip them up when I said ‘shreds’,” he explained. “It was an opportunity to be needlessly loud and violent in a healthy fashion, so I was in full support of the idea.”

“Aww, a show of force and a clever pun?” Tyler said, pressing his hands to his flushed face. “He really does know what I like~!”

He gave Chutzpar a wink. “Well, you be sure to tell Dan that I will certainly be wearing the panther shirt on Thursday!”

“Super,” Wendy said, her tone deadpan. “Can we go to the Shack now?”

“Of course, sorry for holding you up,” Tyler said with a laugh. “I suppose I should be getting back to work as well. This town’s not gonna mayor itself, after all~!”

“It might if you don’t learn how to break up fights without help,” Wendy muttered under her breath.

Tyler gave the group a little wave with the hand that held the wood carving. “Oh, and welcome back to town, Dipper and Mabel~! Can’t wait for the party tomorrow!”

With that, he turned and headed down the sidewalk in the opposite direction of the group, leaving Wendy to turn her attention to the twins. “So, you guys need a second to unpack everything that just happened, or are we good to continue on to the Shack?”

Dipper and Mabel shared a look, before Dipper took the initiative: “Yeah, so I have about a dozen questions—”

“What are the gnomes and Lilliputtians and all the other creatures doing walking around town?” Mabel interrupted quickly, with a wide gesture of her arms. “What’re you doing with a Manotaur? And why’s he giving Mayor Tyler gifts from your dad?!”

Dipper pointed to his sister. “Actually yeah, she covered pretty much all the questions I had,” he said, turning his full attention to her. “Except for the last part, because I feel like that’s pretty obvious, Mabel.”

Mabel placed her hands on her hips. “Duh-doy, I know it’s obvious. I just want to know when it started being a thing,” she explained. “I don’t remember hearing about it in any of the letters we got.”

Wendy made a face. “Yeah, it’s…kinda new.”

“They have been dating for four months,” Chutzpar pointed out.

“It’s new,” Wendy said flatly, before giving a shrug to the twins. “Anyway, the other stuff’s pretty easy to answer. Wanna swap stories as we head to the shack?”

“Yeah!” they answered in unison, before Dipper looked further up the road. “Kinda wish we’d asked the bus driver to stick around, though. The walk to the shack from here’s going to take forever.”

Wendy looked up at Chutzpar with a smirk, and he nodded knowingly in return. “Sounds like the two of you require a ride.”

Before either twin could question what he meant by ‘ride’, they suddenly found themselves being scooped up from the sidewalk and settled onto his muscular shoulders.

Wendy watched with a smile as they adjusted themselves. “You two chill up there?”

From the left shoulder, Dipper gave a thumbs up. “All good!”

Doubling over in a fit of giggles, Mabel reached over and grabbed hold of Chutzpar’s horn to steady herself. “Oh, this is way better than taking the bus~!”

Wendy let her gaze fall to the sidewalk below, where Waddles was staring up expectantly. “And while he’s got you, I’ll get—”

She bent down to pick him up, lifting him with just as little issue as his owner, and adjusted him until he was situated comfortably in her arms. “Woah, buddy, you feel a lot heavier than fifteen pounds this year!”

“I’ve fed him only the finest of leftover table scraps,” Mabel said proudly.

“And he used to sneak into my junk food stash at least once a week before I found a way to stop him,” Dipper said, giving Waddles a pointed look.

Waddles gave him a proud snort in response as Wendy took another quick glance at the sidewalk again. “Alright, no bags or any other random pets that you might’ve picked up since last year?”

“Bags are in our arms,” Dipper said, giving his a pat for good measure.

“And sadly no,” Mabel added in a solemn tone. “Mom said owning Waddles is like owning three pets in one. She says it as a compliment, because that just means he’s three times as lovable. But like we said before, he also just eats about as much as three animals so she don’t see any reason to get a fourth.”

This earned another proud snort from Waddles and a laugh from Wendy. “Sounds like an okay to begin walking, then.”

Chutzpar nodded, the sidewalk rumbling with every thunderous step he took as the group began their trek towards the winding trail on the edge of town.

— — — — — — —

“Mr. Pines, there’s no need to be so nervous.”

“What makes you think I’m nervous?”

From beside Soos, Grenda raised her hand. “The fact that you’re pacing in a circle so much, you’re practically digging a new bottomless pit with your feet?”

Candy turned to her, eyes bright with inspiration. “Ooh, if there are two of them, maybe they could be advertised as twin bottomless pits!” she said, holding up a finger on each hand. “Twin pits for twin pairs—“

She brought her fingers together with a smile. “—of twin Pines!”

Grenda let out a loud cackle, and gave her friend's shoulder a hearty slap. “God, Candy, save some of that genius for when Mabel gets here!”

While Candy rubbed her sore shoulder with a wince, Soos gave the two of them a thumbs-up. “But I’m adding that to the list of attraction ideas when we get back to the shack. It’s a good one, dude.”

Stan looked down at the thin dent in the gravel that he’d worn down with his shoes, and crossed his arms with a gruff sigh. A sigh that was interrupted by the familiar sensation of a six-fingered hand on his shoulder.

His mouth curled into a smile as he locked eyes with the hand's owner, a near-identical set of features to his own staring back at him. “They raise a good point, Stanley,” Ford said. “Mostly about the nervousness, not the second bottomless pit idea.”

At that, he gave the girls a thumbs up. “But that is some impeccable wordplay, Candy!”

“My name gives me plenty of chances to make puns in everyday conversation,” Candy informed him with a smile. “It’s second nature to me at this point~!”

Stan tsked at that, although his smile didn’t disappear. “And who’s to say that pit idea a' theirs ain’t exactly what I’m doing?” he said. “Building some kinda new, twin-themed shack attraction with my feet?”

Candy held up another finger. “Shack-traction!”

“I said, stop! You’re gonna use up all the good ones!”

While the girls chattered on, Ford turned his gaze from them to Soos. “Actually, Soos, don’t you and the girls want to go, uh—” A pause. “—discuss that second bottomless pit idea further?”

Grenda ceased her attempt to give Candy a noogie of approval, and raised an eyebrow at him. “Why? He already said we’d—”

“Don’t worry, Dr. Pines!” Soos interrupted quickly, taking each of the girls’ hands in his own. “I’ll keep ‘em busy!”

Ford gave him an appreciative nod, one that Soos returned with a smile as he lead them away; not too far from the bus stop, but far enough to give the older men some space.

Once the three of them were at a distance that would make eavesdropping impossible, Stan playfully nudged his brother’s arm. “Real subtle there, Poindexter.”

“Wasn’t trying to be,” Ford said, as he turned back around to face him. “And even if I was, it’d be a lot more convincing than you’re trying to be about not being nervous.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Hey, I’m the King of Subtlety! Or are you forgetting the New Jersey Lil' Wise Guy Subtlety Competition of 1956, where I took first place?”

“It was 1957,” Ford corrected him. “And I distinctly remember you quite literally taking the first place medal and attempting to pawn it off to one of the customers in the shop. Which failed, because you were three.”

Stan pressed a hand to his forehead. “Was it? Could’ve sworn it was—” With a huff, he waved it away. “Whatever, so maybe I’m a little nervous about seeing my great-niece and nephew again for the first time in nine months,” he said with a halfhearted shrug. “So what?”

“As I’m sure we’ve discussed at least two dozen times on the ride back to town—”

“Three dozen.”

“—there’s no reason to be nervous about seeing Dipper and Mabel again,” Ford finished. “If all the letters they sent to the Mystery Shack are anything to go off, they’re just as excited to see us as we are them.”

Stan waved his hand again, this time with the addition of a scoff. “Oh, I’m not worried about all that,” he explained. “I know the kids love us, and I know as soon as they step off that bus, I’m gonna put on the tough-as-nails, no-nonsense Grunkle act and pretend I wouldn’t erase my own mind for ‘em again if they needed me to—”

“Don’t joke about that.”

A shared look of somberness crossed their faces for a brief instant, before Stan’s gaze fell to the ground again. “It ain’t us I’m worried about,” he repeated. “They headed outta this place only a week after we barely managed to save it from going to heck in a handbasket. Barely managed to save them…”

His gaze returned to Ford. “Just don’t want them comin’ back to a whole boatload of new things to be worried about, you know?”

The hand on Stan’s shoulder moved to Ford’s own hair, which he pushed back with a tired sigh. “Don’t I know it. I’ve had this pit in my stomach for about two weeks now, both from the excitement of getting to spend the full summer with my great-niece and nephew and—”

He paused, before letting his hand fall back to his side with a weak laugh. “Well, I guess it was inevitable that our return to town would be accompanied by some…complicated emotions.”

Forgetting his own nerves for a moment, Stan’s attention immediately snapped to his brother. The shift in Ford’s features was subtle, as it always was whenever the topic of Bill came up in passing. But the pain behind Ford’s eyes, a pain that held the weight of the past thirty-plus years, and the way his entire body tensed from the memories that Stan could only assume made up that weight—

Stan shoved his hands in his pockets with a sigh. “Psh, listen to me gettin’ all worked up over the kids, when I should’ve been asking if you were alright.”

Ford looked to him, eyebrow raised. “Wh—no, that’s not the point. The point is—”

He was cut off by Stan slinging an arm around his shoulders, his knees buckling slightly from the extra weight. “The point is we’re both stressed,” Stan said. “And if we’re both stressed, then the kids are gonna end up stressed as well and that’ll just have the opposite effect of what we want. Like that law. You know, from that one guy?”

With his free hand, he snapped his fingers thoughtfully as he racked his brain for the answer. “Somethin’, somethin’, every action’s got a reaction and it’s opposite?”

An amused smile spread across Ford’s face. “Are you referring to Sir Isaac Newton and his laws of motion?” he asked. “Those laws by that world-renowned philosopher?”

“Hey, you’re the one that finished high school, Smart Guy, you tell me!”

Satisfied with his answer, he shifted the arm around Ford’s shoulder to pull him into a proper headlock. Ford attempted to slink out from beneath his brother’s embrace with a laugh, but unfortunately the past forty years had done little to weaken Stan’s technique and kept him locked as firmly in place as it had during their childhood.

On the other hand, three decades of wandering the Multiverse had provided Ford with a few defensive maneuvers of his own. Combined with spending the past nine months on a fishing boat together, it had taken little time for him to readapt to his brother’s attempts at rough-housing—

His gaze fell to Stan’s exposed ribs, to which he delivered a light—yet firm—jab with his elbow.

—and even less time for him to find the most effective methods of countering them.

Sure enough, Stan released him with a surprised yelp, one that melted into a fit of rough laughter as Ford effortlessly slipped out of his grasp. “Cheap shot.”

“I believe you’re the last person to talk when it comes to fighting dirty, Stanley,” Ford replied with a smug grin.

“Oh, I’ll show ya dirty—”

The laughter doubled as the two of them spent another moment attempting to one-up the other in lighthearted fisticuffs, until the distant, rumbling sound of tires against asphalt pulled them back to reality. And if the sight of the approaching bus alone hadn’t been enough, Grenda’s boisterous cry of “THE BUS IS COMING!” as the rest of the group hurried back to rejoin them would’ve done the trick.

As they straightened themselves out again in preparation to greet the kids, the brothers exchanged another look. One that clearly displayed their shared nervousness that even rough-housing hadn’t completely eliminated.

It was Stan who broke the awkward silence first, mouth curling into a halfhearted smile. “Guess we’d better give that Newton chump a call, huh?”

Ford managed a weak smile in return. “You realize you’ve wildly misinterpreted the laws of motion and their relation to the situation at hand, don’t you?”

“And you realize you’re a giant nerd, right?” Stan countered.

“Well, regardless of misinterpretation, you do raise a good point,” Ford said. “If we’re both stressed, then the kids are bound to pick up on it and get stressed in turn.”

He inhaled slowly, and exhaled slower. “It’s a new summer. A chance for everyone to start over.”

“You know it,” Stan said, lightly touching his knuckles against Ford’s arm. “And hey, uh—that doesn’t stop at summer. We don’t have to do anything alone ever again, right?”

They exchanged a look, silently lingering in their shared understanding for a moment before Ford spoke again: “You’re right, Stanley. We don’t have to do anything alone. Not now, not ever again.”

The two remained still for a moment more, before Stan reached over to give him a nudge. “And y’know, if that doesn’t work, I’m pretty sure I saw some kinda zombie-summoning spell in one of those nerd books of yours.” 

He crossed his arms. “I know we chucked them down into the Bottomless Pit, but I also know for a fact that you’ve got one’a’those smart-guy photographic-memories and could probably recite it off the top of your head.”

“Are you suggesting I use necromancy to summon Sir Isaac Newton?” Ford asked, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement. “To prove his first law that you seem insistent on misinterpreting?”

“I mean, I ain’t telling you to give him a kiss on the cheek or nothin’,” Stan said.

Their smiles widened in amused unison as the bus finally slowed to a stop, the creaking of the brakes echoing loudly through the forest around them. Almost as if they were announcing the long-awaited arrival of the teenagers on board to anything within earshot.

And as the group watched, the older adults with tense shoulders while Soos and the girls all leaned into each other with excited anticipation, the doors of the bus slid open to reveal—

“Are you all looking to get on?”

—nothing more than the bus driver.

Candy blinked in confusion. “Have Dipper and Mabel turned invisible since we last saw then?”

Stan’s brow furrowed, balling one hand into a warning fist as he stared at the driver. “Yeah, pal, what gives?! Where’s our kids?”

“The ones from earlier?” the driver asked. “Oh, they got off somewhere in town. There were a buncha golfballs and gnomes in the road, said they’d take care of it and for me to just go on ahead without ‘em.”

He pressed a hand to his chin. "Good kids, though! The bus floor's practically sparkling thanks to that pet pig of theirs!"

“Did they tell you if they were going to walk the rest of the way or not?” Ford asked.

“I believe that’s what they said,” the driver said. “But seriously, is no one here going to get on?”

A varying chorus of ‘No’s earned the group a closed door, before the bus continued onwards down the road. After it eventually descended down a hill and out of sight, Grenda’s shoulders fell. “Aw, man! I was gonna pile drive Mabel into the ground as soon as she got off the bus! Now our whole ‘Welcome Back To The Falls’ greeting is ruined!”

Candy patted her arm sympathetically. “I am sure she would’ve appreciated the effort regardless.”

“Of course she would!” Grenda lamented, her loud voice booming through the nearby wood. “She’s an angel who appreciates when we go the extra mile!”

“Back in town for five minutes and they’re already getting caught up in some kind of weird shenanigans,” Ford said, swelling with pride. “They’re a couple of Pines, alright.”

Stan slapped a hand over his eyes, and dragged it down the rest of his face. “Yeah, a pair from��your side of the family, maybe.” 

It was said in exasperation, but there was an undeniable fondness in his tone. One that transferred to his expression as he turned to the rest of the group. “Alright, on one hand: the kids know the way to the Shack like the backs of their own hands and they’ll probably get here just fine on foot,” he pointed out. “On the other—”

“Getting here could take a while and none of us want to wait that long to see them again, so we go and meet them halfway?” Soos guessed.

“You got it.”

From beside his brother, Ford shot a glance down the road from whence the bus had come. “Looks like halfway might be closer than we think.”

He pointed a finger for emphasis, and the rest of the group followed his gesture to the sight of an approaching Manotaur coming up the road. One that was delightfully conversing with the two thirteen-year-olds seated on each of his shoulders, and the sixteen-year-old walking beside him.

A conversation that had been clearly happening since the four of them had been back in town, Dipper and Mabel’s attention fully fixed on Wendy as she continued to speak: “—and after everyone teamed up during Weirdmageddon, the vibes of the town just kinda shifted. As if a lot of the weird stuff in town suddenly realized: ‘Hey, we’re not much of a mystery anymore so there’s not really a reason to keep hiding’, and the people in town realized they weren’t as weird and terrifying as they originally thought.”

She pressed a finger to her temple. “Combine that with the Society of the Blind Eye going belly up and leaving no one around to go blasting memories out of people’s heads—” Then pressed her hands together and laced her fingers for emphasis. “—everyone and everything just kinda started mushing together over time.”

“Manly Dan caught news of us Manotaurs when we were forced to relocate our Man Cave,” Chutzpar added. “Impressed by our manliness and feats of strength, he offered us jobs in his lumberyard. We told him we’d only accept if the toughest combatants from his family defeated us in battle.”

“And you guys lost to him?” Mabel guessed.

“Not to him.”

Chutzpar cast a gaze down at Wendy, and the twins followed suit in the hopes of further elaboration. “Originally, it was just going to be Dad and my brothers in the fight,” she explained. “Not because Dad didn’t think to ask me; I was at work at the time and happened to come home just as all of them were getting their butts handed to ‘em on a silver platter.”

“It was a mighty battle of strength and determination,” Chutzpar said in a faraway tone. “They fought well, even if their efforts were inevitably in vain.”

“Nearly in vain,” Wendy corrected. “But then I showed up and volunteered to finish the fight.”

“And they let you?”

“Of course not, the big meatheads all laughed at the idea of fighting a girl. But then I punched one of ‘em in the gut, and suplexed another into the ground, where he got stuck by his horns.”

This got a laugh out of her. “Taking down the rest wasn’t too hard, since Dad and the others had already worn most of 'em down. But even if they hadn’t, it wouldn’t have been difficult. Their fighting style was all punch, no technique. Even an amateur could’ve taken all of them down with a few well-placed hits.”

She shrugged with amusement. “That was also why Dad wasn’t able to win against them; he fights the exact same way. It was just lunkhead against lunkhead out there, swinging fists wildly until at least one of ‘em hit something. And unfortunately for my lunkheaded family, they didn’t have as many fists as the Manotaurs to keep swinging around. Until I showed up, at least.”

While the twins giggled at the visual image, Chutzpar gave a stoic nod. “The Manotaurs lost the battle that day, but it was a loss we hold with pride,” he said, with a shift of the arm that held Dipper. “One that taught us that—between her and the things you taught us last year, Destructor—we have plenty to learn about what it means to be men.”

He gave his chest a hearty thump. “And that sometimes that manliest men among us are actually girls!”

Dipper raised a mildly-confused eyebrow at Wendy, who gave another shrug in response. “Eh, they’re still a little confused but it’s better than where they were last year,” she said, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Not to mention being called the Manliest Man in Gravity Falls kinda hits in a way I’m not complaining about—”

“Kids!”

At the sound of another voice hailing them from further ahead, Dipper and Mabel turned their gazes forward to see their welcome party hurrying towards them from the opposite direction. Grenda and Candy were bringing up the rear with Soos, while Ford was keeping a steady pace in the middle. 

But at the very front of the group, Stan was charging towards them with a speed and passion that couldn’t be matched by anyone else.

Except perhaps by Mabel, who had quickly jumped down from Chutzpar’s shoulder at the sound of his voice and began to sprint towards her great-uncle at Mach speed. “Grunkle Stan!”

It was a miracle that the two of them remained standing, with how hard they crashed into one another in a bone-crushing embrace; Mabel linking her arms around Stan’s neck like a spider monkey while he spun her around with a hearty belly laugh. 

Only for that miracle to shatter when the embrace of two became three as Dipper caught up to them, and all of them tumbled to the ground in a mess of laughter. “What, are you kids tryna kill me before we even get to the Shack?” Stan asked, slinging an arm around Dipper’s body. “I don’t remember the two’a’you being this big last year.”

Mabel let out a little giggle and pressed her hands to his face. “Yeah, well, you weren’t this hairy last year!” she pointed out in return. “I mean you were still really hairy, but now you’ve got a full-grown beard!”

“Sure do!” Stan said brightly, and patted the hair covering his chin. “Ol’ Poindexter and I made a decision early on that if we were spendin’ our days as men of the sea, then we were sure as heck gonna look the part!”

Mabel pressed her own hands to her mouth, stifling a laugh. “You sound like Dipper at Hanukkah! He was soooooo excited to show Grandpa Shermie his beard~!”

The last word was said with clear amusement, and Dipper shrank a bit before slapping his hands over his face. “Mabel, come on, you don’t have t—”

“Oh, didja grow one too?” Stan asked, peering at him. “Come on, Slick, let’s see those Pines genetics at work.”

After a moment of hesitation, Dipper nervously lowered his hands and Stan leaned closer to examine the few, noticeable hairs on his chin. “I-I know it’s not much,” he explained quickly. “But it’s more than I had last year! A-and Mom says that I’m bound to get more as I get older!”

With a proud laugh, Stan reached up to ruffle his hat. “You kidding? That’s more than I had at that age!” he said. “You be proud of those few hairs, and don’t let your sister steal ‘em for her scrapbook.”

“Too late,” Mabel said brightly. “I stole both one from the chin and one from the shin~! He has some there, too!”

Dipper gave her a pointed look, before turning back to Stan with a more confident smile. “I’d be more annoyed at her for that if she wasn’t right,” he said, and held up his leg. “Because look, I got so much on my legs, too!”

“Woa-hoh, get a load of Mister Big Man over here!” Stan said, and brought him closer for a proper noogie. “Those genetics really are kickin’ in early for you, huh?”

“He’s not the only one they’ve kicked in for,” Mabel added. “Or should I say—”

She kicked out one of her own legs with a cheeky grin. “—kicked~!”

There was a moment of pause, before she gave her leg another wiggle. “You get it because—”

“Mabel also got leg hair,” Dipper clarified. “If that wasn’t obvious.”

“I tried shaving it at first, but it just made my legs soooooo itchy,” Mabel said. "So now I just have built-in leg warmers!”

“I’d suggest the fire method, but it’s far more effective at removing facial hair than body hair,” a voice behind them said. “Also something tells me that your parents wouldn’t be too happy if we sent you back home with burns on your legs.”

The trio looked up to see Ford standing before them, a hand outstretched. “Room in the dirt for one more?”

A series of grins were exchanged before three hands reached for Ford’s in unison and pulled him down to the ground with them. “It’s good to see you again, Grunkle Ford!” Dipper said. 

“Especially since we actually know you exist now!” Mabel added. “This time last year, we still thought Grunkle Stan was you! And then when we did find out that you were you and he was him, we only got to spend a little bit of time with you!”

Her arms moved from around Stan’s neck to Ford's, her spider-monkey grip once again unbreakable as she hugged him tight. “But this year, we get to spend aaaaallllllll summer with both our Grunkles!”

Ford’s smile widened and he slinked an arm around her as Stan piped up with: “That’s right, Pumpkin! No more mysteries or weird demons or monsters or anything that’s gonna get in the way of me spendin’ time with you kids and my brother!”

“Well, I mean, a monster here and there’s not a bad thing—” Ford begin, just as Dipper finished with a: “I wouldn’t mind a mystery or two, honestly.”

The four of them doubled over in laughter as the remaining party from both directions finally caught up to them. “Aww, you guys are having a cuddle pile in the dirt without us?” Grenda piped up unhappily.

“Candy adds a dash of sweetness to every cuddle pile!” Candy added.

“Or did the squirts knock you down ‘cause you’re older than the dirt you’re sitting in?” Wendy chimed in, as her and Chutzpar also came to a stop.

“Watch it, Corduroy,” Stan said, pulling his arm out from around Dipper so he could point a finger at her. “Just ‘cause I’m not your boss anymore doesn’t mean I can’t ask Soos to fire you.”

Wendy raised an eyebrow in Soos’ direction. “Would you fire me if he asked?”

“Uh…” Soos shifted uncomfortably in place. “Do I really have to answer that?”

This got a disbelieving “Wow.” out of Wendy and a delighted cackle out of Stan, one that was cut short by a grunt of pain as he shifted in place. “Ow, maybe we should get up outta all this dirt and gravel,” he muttered. “I got rocks in place I don’t wanna mention in front of a bunch of impressionable teenagers, my brother, or Soos.”

Soos offered him a hand. “Maybe we can move the cuddle pile to the Shack, then? Then Melody can join us!”

With a look of disgust, Stan took his hand and pulled himself to his feet. “Pass. Last thing any of us needs is for you two to start making kissy faces at each other.”

“Keep that in mind,” Wendy muttered with a grin.

“Soos does raise an excellent point about making our way the Shack,” Ford said. “The sooner the kids get settled in, the sooner we can exchange...stories.”

He emphasized the last word with a knowing look to his brother, and Stan’s mouth spread into a wide grin as he offered his own hands to the kids. “Hey, yeah! You squirts wanna hear about the time your Grunkles tore the head off a Kraken along the coast of Texas?” he asked with a wink. “‘Cause lemme tell ya: when they say everything’s bigger down there, they mean everything!”

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a unanimous “Yeah!” as they were also pulled to their feet—

“Nope! I said I was giving Mabel a proper ‘Welcome Back’ pile drive, and I’m gonna do it!”

—and Mabel was immediately brought back down to the tampered dirt path by a charging Grenda, any pain from the impact momentarily drowned in a fit of giggles as she hugged her friend. “Oh, it’s just as spine-shattering as I hoped it’d be!”

“Don’t forget Candy, for a dash of sweetness!” Candy piped up, as she flopped over the other two with a laugh. “I made that pun already, but it was so nice, I had to say it twice!”

“Agreed, it was hilarious!” Mabel agreed, arms going around both of them in a tight embrace. “Ugh, I missed you girls sooooo much! I’ve got loads to tell you since my last letter—ooh, also I’ve got a phone now!”

While Mabel attempted to fish her phone out of her pocket, Wendy cast a smirk to the adults. “Anyone wanna bet that we won’t get to the Shack until nightfall?”

Chutzpar looked down at her. “I respect a show of friendly violence, but should I intervene again?”

“You know you don’t have to listen to me,” Wendy said, folding her arms. “I’m not, like, actually in charge of you guys or anything.”

“I’m aware.”

“And I don’t take any bets I know I’ll lose,” Stan said, and snapped his fingers at the girls. “Hey, come on, I know we’re all excited to be seein’ each other again.”

He pointed a finger at Grenda, which shifted between her and Candy. “But I already told you two that I need at least one night without wondering if a family of bats moved into my attic, or if you girls are tryin’ to break the sound barrier with your squeals.”

“Seconding that,” Dipper piped up quickly. “I would also like a buffer between now and the inability to sleep in my own room, please.”

The girls let out a chorus disappointed of ‘Awwwww’s as they untangled themselves and returned to their feet. “But Grunkle Staaaaan, I missed my people!” Mabel argued.

“And her people missed her!” Grenda added, squeezing her close.

“Never said you couldn’t hang out with ‘em after tonight,” Stan pointed out. “Plus there’s that party tomorrow—”

“Oh, yeah!” Grenda said excitedly. “We can catch up at the party!”

“We can catch up on stories while we tear up the dance floor!” Candy added with an excited wiggle, before she raised her fists to the air. “And remind this town who the real party animals are!”

She let her arms fall again. “Plus my parents said that I needed to come home after we said hi to you, anyway,” she explained further, then added as an afterthought: “Hi, Mabel!”

With a giggle, Mabel replied: “Hi, Candy!”

“And I got my pile drive in, so I guess I did everything I wanted to do today,” Grenda added with a shrug.

While Stan leaned close to Ford with a quiet: “I’d point out that it was more of a tackle than a pile drive, but also I don’t wanna be out here longer than we hafta be.” (earning a “Smart call.” from Ford in return), Mabel tightened her grip around the other girls. “Well, when you put it that way, I guess I can wait another day to hang out with my beeeeest friends in the whoooolllllle world~!”

Candy’s gaze moved over to Wendy and Chutzpar. “By the way, we saw that Dipper and Mabel got a Manotaur ride up here,” she said. “Is there an option to catch a Manotaur ride back to town?”

“Ooh, me too! Me too!” Grenda added. “Wendy, make him give us a ride!”

“Once again, I’m not in charge of the Manotaurs,” Wendy pointed out, with another look to Chutzpar. “It’s up to you, pal. You offering rides back to town?”

Chutzpar held out both hands for them to take. “Small girls who greet their friends with violent pile drivers are worthy of a ride,” he said, before raising an eyebrow at Wendy. “But will you be alright getting home?”

“I can always hitch a ride from someone,” Wendy assured him. “Or—”

She reached into her pocket for her phone, and glanced at the screen for a moment. “—yeah, or I can just spend the night at the Shack if I really need to.”

“Aw, what?” Grenda said unhappily from Chutzpar’s shoulder. “How come you get to spend the night and we don’t?”

“Good-bye, girls,” Stan said, and gave Wendy a pointed stare. “Tell the big guy to go.”

“I’m not—” Wendy started to say, then shrugged it off and gave Chutzpar a wave of her hand. “Go ahead.”

Chutzpar gave her a nod in return, and turned back towards the direction of the town. “Let’s make haste, small female children,” he said, and began to walk. ”I have a response from Mayor Tyler to deliver to Manly Dan about their Thursday plans.”

“We are teenagers now, you know,” Grenda pointed out with a mild huff of indignance. “Or at least I am.”

“Ooh, is the response a loooove message~?” Candy added delightedly. “Are the plans a date?”

“Oh, you know it—!”

Chutzpar’s voice echoed through the wood with amusement, the volume only matched in power by Grenda’s laughter as the trio drew further and further away from those who had stayed behind. Eventually though, even their powerful baritones could not be carried such a distance, and the forest around the group fell silent again.

Silent, until—

“So, we’re not gonna question the big man-cow thing?” Stan asked. “We’re just acting like he’s been here the entire time, then?”

Ford shrugged in response. “He was clearly a Manotaur, and one that seemed to be on good terms with Wendy and the kids,” he said. “Didn’t see any reason to question his presence.”

“He’s visited the Shack several times,” Soos chimed in as well. “Also he was staying with us in the Shack during Weirdmageddon.”

“Did he?” Stan said. “Huh, feel like I should remember that.”

“I also met him and the rest of the herd last year,” Dipper added, just as Mabel chimed in with her own: “The Manotaurs work for Wendy now, and also Manly Dan is dating Mayor Tyler!”

Wendy made a twirling motion with her finger. “What they all said, minus the ‘working for me’ thing. They’re part of my dad’s logging crew now, and even if they listen to me when I ask them to do stuff, I don’t want anything to get weird with that.”

“And the part about your dad and Mayor Tyler?” Stan asked, an eyebrow raised.

Wendy’s expression shifted for half a second, before her usual, disinterested grin took its place. “Hey, here’s something I never thought I’d hear myself say: let’s stop standing around and doing nothing, and get to the Shack so I’m not late for my shift!”

Soos raised a hand. “Uh, but Wendy, I’m your boss and it’s your day off—”

“Race you knuckleheads there~!”

Wendy took off like a shot before Soos could finish his point, taking great care to lightly plap a hand against the heads of the younger twins and deliver a loving fist to the arms of the adults as she zipped between them and ran towards the direction of the Mystery Shack.

With a laugh, the younger twins sprinted after her in a rush with cries of: “Wait for us!” and “How are you running that fast with a pig in your arms?”

The adults watched them go for a moment, before Soos turned to the Stans: “...We don’t actually have to run all the way back there, do we?”

Stan, who had been watching Wendy and the kids race ahead, pulled his attention back to Soos. “Absolutely not,” he said flatly, and pressed a hand to his back. “Especially not after the kids knocked me down like that.”

He winced as the three of them began to follow after the kids at a much slower pace. “Gonna be feeling that for at least a few days.”

“Well, at least it’s a sign that we won’t have to give Sir Isaac Newton a call,” Ford pointed out with a smile. “With the way the kids tackled you, there’s zero doubt that they’re thrilled to be back.”

Once again, Stan mirrored his smile with one of his own. “Yeah, well, if they keep on bein’ that thrilled, you’re gonna have to bust out that necromancy spell to talk to me.”

Ford’s expression tensed for a moment at his brother’s joke, but any unease passed just as quickly as it had come when the sight of the familiar old cabin peered into view ahead of them.

[words-4u]

right person (1/3)

pairings: luca x reader, marcus x reader (platonic)

wc: 1.4k

a/n: immediately started planning a three part series on luca while watching the bear s2. that's what a tatted will poulter does to me (the bear is an incredible show btw pls watch if you don't)

warning: swearing

part 2 / part 3

"denmark?"

"yes! we are sending you and marcus to denmark for two weeks to stage at this really great restaurant. you're gonna learn to do three new desserts for us. carmy knows the head pastry chef. says he's really cool so it should be fun, right?" sydney explained.

"that does sound fun! i'm in!" you smile.

you look at marcus who was deep in thought. if you had to guess what he was thinking, his mind is probably on his mom who was currently bed ridden at a hospital.

you put a hand on marcus' shoulder. "you good with that?" you ask your co pastry chef.

he broke out of his thoughts and nods. "yeah, i-i'm great. i'd love to."

"great! cause you guys really didn't have a choice. your flights are already booked for tomorrow afternoon sooo thanks!" sydney offers two thumbs and an awkward smile before she leaves what used to be the kitchen.

"holy shit," you whisper in shock. "staging at a michelin star restaurant in a country i've always wanted to visit. could this be any better?"

"i have to go tell my mom but give me a call if you need a ride to the airport tomorrow. chester will probably take me and we can swing by your place if you want?"

"dude, yes! that'd save me a shit ton of money that i would've spent on uber."

"cool, see you," marcus grabs his bag and heads out the door.

after helping fak, riche and gary with fallen ceiling debris, you decide to leave a bit early to pack and clean your apartment before your travel.

it was noon on the dot the next day when marcus calls to check if you were ready for the airport. since you packed the night before, you had a rather peaceful morning. chester talks your ear off the whole way to the airport and you guys get there he demands to see your passports because he wants to make sure you and marcus actually had it on you.

"chester, can you do me a favour and check in on my ma when you get the time?" marcus asks.

"dude, i'm way ahead of you. gonna check on her every morning on my way to work,"

"i appreciate it."

chester looks at both you. "now, i want you take a deep breath and let the good in. you guys are gonna kill it."

you grin at marcus' friend. "thanks chester. okay we're gonna have to leave now before we miss our flight."

marcus says his farewell to his best friend and the two of you head to your gate.

the plane ride to copenhagen was smooth despite marcus' worries. you guys hop on a train to explore the city before heading to where you were staying.

"trains here are way cleaner than the ones in chicago," marcus leans over to whisper.

"waay cleaner," you agree.

the two of you exited the station and stood in awe of your view. clear blue skies. cool fresh air. colourful buildings. and the smell of hotdogs which was incredibly appealing after your long journey.

you and marcus lock eyes. "oh yeah."

marcus got a hotdog with dried onions and pickles on top while you had a plain jane moment with just ketchup.

"this is the best thing i've ever put in my mouth," you say with in between bites.

"just what i needed honestly," marcus says.

after your quick meal, the two of you continue to wander the city taking in the architecture most of all.

marcus was using the maps feature on his phone to find the place you were supposed to be staying at.

"uh i don't see any apartment buildings near," you say. "are you sure we are in the right place?"

marcus led you to a canal where some boats were docked. "i am 99.9% sure. you're staying in 286 and i'm in 287."

you glance at the boat in front of you and saw the gold numbers plaque on the side. "well, mystery solved. this is your place and i'm guessing this one is mine." you moved further down to the boat behind marcus' one.

"sick," he smiles.

"i'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"night, y/n!"

you walk down a couple of steps before unlocking a door that lead to a kitchen and dining room. it was spacious and you were grateful for the many windows it had. the stairs to the left led up to the bedroom which was a lot smaller than you anticipated having only space for your bed and a small cabinet for clothes.

you flop on your bed and exhaled. you didn't realize how tired you were until your head hit the soft mattress and while everything in you wanted to knock out, you knew you had to get up and unpack because you wouldn't have time tomorrow.

one thing you were not was a morning person and yes you should have gotten used to it by now working in the restaurant industry but getting up at 4 a.m. will never feel natural. regardless, you had a twinge of excitement for your new job and excited to learn under this new chef that carmy spoke so highly of.

once you got ready for the day, you hear three soft knocks.

"morning," you say. "you ready?"

"born ready," marcus says as you lock your door and head to the restaurant.

it was only a 15 minute walk from where you were staying so the two of you arrive with time to spare.

you walk into the bright kitchen and suck in a breath. the kitchen was stunning with it's high-end equipment, gorgeous green tiling and the young hot chef moving bags of flour from one table to another.

"chef. i'm marcus brooks and this is y/n y/l/n," marcus begins. "and we're from-"

the chef looks up for a quick second. "i know. i'm luca, pastry. we start at 5 a.m. your section's at the end of the bench."

the english accent takes you by surprise. your knees could have buckled right then and there.

"yes, chef," the two of you say in unison.

now your excitement turned into nervousness. not only were you to create three star-worthy desserts for the bear, you had to learn from someone who is so extremely good looking it hurts.

marcus and you head to the back to change into your uniforms which was a basic indigo t-shirt and a green apron like luca had.

when you went back out, you immediately wash your hands and got ready for whatever luca had in store for you guys.

luca had marcus rollout croissant pastry while he led you to a table where he had prepared a dessert. your task was to place pieces of peanuts at a certain angle as part of its presentation.

you study luca as he shows you what to do. he had small black tattoos scattered up and down his arms. that alone is having an effect on you.

"here, you try," he says passing the tweezers to you.

your fingers brush as you took the small tool from him. luca didn't make eye contact but you did notice his jaw clench.

"nuzzle that sliver into the pudding just to lock it in."

"yes, chef," you say.

taking one of the small nuts from the bowl, you place it on the pudding but it slipped last second.

"no. again, chef," he says in a calm yet assertive tone.

"sorry," you say and try again and it's worse which luca picks up on.

"hm, worse."

he takes the tweezers from you and picks up the piece. "don't be afraid to just stick it in there, you know," luca takes the nut and slides it in perfectly. "just be confident about it."

"don't second-guess yourself," he says finally locking eyes with you.

you nod. "yes, chef."

you took the tweezers back and third time was the charm because you placed the nut in the pudding just like he'd showed you. smiling to yourself, you put the tool down.

luca's face stays expressionless. he looks up from the dessert. "you know how to make shiso gelee?"

you absolutely do not know how to make whatever he just said but there was no way you were gonna let him know that.

"yes, chef."

"alright."

luca steps away to grab some ingredients which gives you the opportunity to whip your phone out and google the gelee. "dextrose? what the fuck is that?" you whisper to yourself.

luca came back and places a tray in front you. "recipe," he says tapping some blue index cards.

you felt your face burn. "thank you, chef."

end of part 1 omggg. not much luca x reader but it’s warming up trust me. i already have ideas for part 2 and 3 with some potential alternate endings... stay tuned

if you enjoyed, please let me know (through my bio) if you have any the bear requests, send them my way!

[the-bitter-ocean]

(ACT 6 SPOILERS) Wanted to write my interpretation of what a one hat (or I guess in this case one bow? Lol) ending would look like for the ICAC au. It’s not canon by any means but I thought it was cool to have both options just like how the original game of ISAT does. Writing is under the cut:

{ You return to the Favor Tree.}

{You slowly take a step forward..}

{You look around. }

{The sun is shining.}

{The birds are chirping happily as they soar through the village.}

{The tree's leaves blow in the wind. }

{…!}

{ There's no one under the tree. }

{You pace around anxiously searching under bushes, near the rocks and behind the Favor Tree. }

{There's nobody to be found.}

{ Rewind is gone.}

{ But why? Why did Rewind have to leave? }

{Where could she have gone? }

{…}

{ Is it something to do with the loops, maybe?}

{ Rewind said that they were here to help you with escaping the loops..}

{ Well, you’re finally free now!}

{You’ve escaped and the loops won’t happen anymore.}

{You’re certain you couldn’t loop back even if you wanted to- you’re far too drained from overuse of craft. }

{ Is that really the reason? }

{ You solved the mystery of the loops.. so there’s no need of having Rewind as a guide anymore? }

{ She’s just gone forever? }

{ You feel your breath hitch. }

{ You feel tears prick your eyes. }

{ It’s.. not.. fair!!}

{ You didn’t even get to apologize for all the horrible things you said to her earlier! }

{ You didn’t get to thank Rewind for all the help they did for you either!! }

{ This can’t be how it all ends for the two of you..!}

{…}

{ You can’t help but feel empty inside. }

{ You kneel down at the base of the favor tree. }

{ Your hands are clasped together. }

{ You mourn silently. }

{ You pray that wherever Rewind is now, that she’s somewhere peaceful.}

{ Somewhere free from the loops like you are. }

{ You hope that she’s safe and able to rest. }

{ You wish with all your heart that your prayers reach her somehow. That Rewind knows how much you appreciate all that they’ve done for you. }

{…}

{ You wipe away the tears and get up from where you sat. }

{ You like to believe that maybe, one day, Rewind might return again. }

{ And if she does ever return, you want her to know that you were here. }

{ That you care about her. That you miss her. }

{ You want her to have something to remember you by just in case. }

{ You take out the bright flower. }

{ Rewind never accepted it from you during any of the loops. }

{..It’s all you have to offer to her now. }

{ You unclamp one of the circular emblems from your brooch. }

{ You rest the circular pendant and the bright flower at the base of the tree. }

{ You keep the other half of your pendant still attached to your cloak. }

{The sun hits the pendant, making it almost glow. }

{It’s the only thing keeping the flower stay in its place instead of blowing into the wind and being whisked away forever. }

{ “…Thank you, Riri.”}

{The trees around you are silent.}

{You walk back home.}

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Well, the thing about the Riddler is that he is, well, the Riddler. I would argue that the main reason he manage to stay relevant for so long is that while he is so easily recognizable and that certainly helped, he is also kinda easy to just write into a story without second thought

Most if not all Batman villains have hard themes and motifs associated with them that direct reflect the stories one can write about them as your "villain's scheme of the week gets taken down by Batman" narrative, like Poison Ivy always has a scheme about nature or saving the planet, Dr.Freeze will always do something evil that needs to be doable with ice and shit, Catwoman mostly robs and serves cunt, etc. While the Riddler is the same, he is also not, because riddles can literally be about anything

You can write him in every scenario, every place and every type of scheme and just slap a riddle on top of it and you're done. Have a cool story concept that doesn't fit well with any other Batman villain? Riddler. Want to explore a villain's main trademark/theme but feel like you already used that villain way too much/want to switch it up a little? Riddler. Fuck up "who are you going to save Batman?" scenarios but Joker is not available for whatever reason? You guessed it, Harle- The Riddler.

Just a simple catch all villain for all jobs and purposes, that is somehow still easily recognizable and marketable. And also, riddles, puzzles, mysteries, cat-mouse chases are always fun. His only point is being a excuse for "Batman has to solve something instead of just punching and flirting his way out of a situation" plot and when you think about it, that is one of the situations where Batman thrives and shows his appeals as a super-powerless superhero the most, so another reason why Riddler probably stuck around for so long.

(Sorry if this if this is badly written, I'm sleep deprived and am procrastinating a college assignment, I don't have the mental energy to rewrite this or check for grammar mistakes sorry 😔)

are you. are you explaining the Riddler. to ME.

[mysterialistic]

Over-analyzing the Yingdu Chapter [PART 3]

They've already told us the synopsis of the Yingdu Chapter, but this is just scratching the surface. This is how I think the plot will go down:

The chapter will start with the flashback of Cheng Xiaoshi's death and how Lu Guang went back to the past. At the same time, we'll probably see the scene of Liu Xiao pointing his gun at the grown man and asking about Cheng Weimin.

Now, this is where things get confusing cause... what's the deal with Cheng Weimin? It's not confirmed, yet very evident that this man is Cheng Xiaoshi's father, but why would Liu Xiao be looking for him?

Well, I have three guesses:

1. Cheng Weimin has powers like his son.

2. Cheng Weimin had powers but gave them to his son before dissappearing/dying.

3. Cheng Weimin pretended to have powers but in reality it always was Cheng Xiaoshi so, to protect him, Cheng Weimin and his wife disappeared.

The third option is my favorite because there's a text in the teaser that says this:

It seems like a message directed to Lu Guang and it's either from himself from the future or it's from someone else who cares a lot for Cheng Xiaoshi, for example, his parents.

Going back to the plot...

Lu Guang has the nightmare, sees Vein and the messages for him to go to Bridon. There'll probably be a lot of reluctance regarding if they should go or not, ultimately taking the journey because... Well, because we need the story to move forward lol.

When they arrive to Yingdu something tells me that initially Cheng Xiaoshi won't find anything about his parents, which leads to this scene of him looking sadly at a picture (of his parents?) I would like to make a small parenthesis to point out that we DON'T know if in this part of the story CXS already has knowledge about his powers or not.

This part were he's looking sadly at the picture could mean one out of two things:

1. He has his powers and dived into the photo but found nothing.

2. He doesn't have powers and he simply didn't find any useful clues outside of the photo.

I honestly think that they will have their powers already cause it's a plot device, it helps advancing the story and solving mysteries/conflicts. Unless they decide to make CXS awaken his powers in here, which could be really cool too.

Getting back on track...

Cheng Xiaoshi doesn't find anything useful and Lu Guang is probably relieved because that means that they can go back home, but then the antagonists appear. I don't know how or why because, well, we haven't seen anything about it and I would just be making completely blind suppositions lol.

Tho, something worth noting on this scene is that, by the way the camera moves when focusing on CXS, it seems like if someone was... Watching him? Probably one of the trio. I could be totally wrong.

So yeah, long story short, they have to stay in Yingdu for some reason involving the antagonists and they get entangled in dangerous situations such as the previous seasons. One of the texts mentions: "The two had a quarrel that shouldn't have happened". I honestly don't know what this could mean. Is it referring to Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang as a pair or is it a one vs one? Let's wait and see.

So... This is where it gets tragic. Brace yourselves!

At the very end of this video that Bilibili and the Link Click official Twitter account uploaded two months ago, we get a small preview of the Yingdu Chapter.

And what's so relevant about this? Well, at the very end we can hear a gunshot and Cheng Xiaoshi groaning in pain before dropping to the ground, then we hear Lu Guang calling his name and another gunshot.

I'm sadly sure that CXS is going to die again. Why? Because it just doesn't make sense that they went through something so important and dramatic during Yingdu for them to never talking about it beyond mentioning a trip abroad. This is gonna sound bad, but it's the easiest solution the writers have to prevent plot holes.

Cheng Xiaoshi dies; maybe even Vein and Xia Fei die too? I kinda have the feeling that something big is gonna happen because of this text in the teaser:

The letters are yellow, a color that represents Cheng Xiaoshi. It could be him asking Lu Guang to go back in time to fix things, to which Lu Guang answers:

Lu Guang gets CXS's powers, goes back in time again and we'll arrive to the present time line... Maybe)? This I don't know because there's symbolisms of multiple attempts. A good example is this scene in the VORTEX/Overthink music video:

But yeah, who knows, this is all very speculative cause they haven't shown us a lot.

Probably the "trip abroad" that they mention on season one is not Yingdu? Maybe they do go on a journey, but something more happy like those images they've shown us of CXS and LG riding a car, with beach wear. Idk guys, I'm just trying to find a bit of happiness in here lol.

Anyway, the only thing I have for certain is that the Yingdu Chapter is going to HURT, just like the rest of the donghua.

So... Thanks for reading! Leave me your theories, I love hearing other's speculations!

[nqmonarch]

For the request, can I please have yandere Black Swan x fem or gn reader x yandere Sparkle headcanon as the poly relationship? Basically Sparkle and Black Swan are working together to get their darling.

Yeah of course! Sorry for the late response! I also started this before current quest came out (2.1 I think, the one that focuses on Aventurine) so sorry if I missed anything that came out recently!

CW: Yandere themes (it isn't super heavy I think), Memory manipulation, kidnapping that isn't viewed as kidnapping by the kidnappee

To start with is always the question of how Black Swan and Sparkle become interested in you, such a strange duo both with different goals and aspirations yet absolutely threatening while working together.

You were a very simple person but also infinitely complex, like most people. But rather than keep the complexities of your life close to yourself and the ones you cared for, you wore your life on your sleeve. One moment you'd be distracted by ooo-- pretty fish nice bright and orange and--. Oh right the drink in front of you is also pretty nice but the moment you drink it, it'll be gone forever. It won't matter, and will be forgotten in your own mind, and the mind of the world. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter in the slightest, just like your life. Unless if it's a super good drink.

And look there's a pretty lady following the pretty fish! Actually it looks like the fish are swimming around her, maybe in the dream scape you're permanently under the sea. You don't really like the sea though, actually it's okay. You've just been a thousand meters deep before and at that point the pressure kills, you didn't die but it wasn't pleasant. Thankfully, gear was upgraded pretty well, which is expected for a city under water. There were also many beautiful creatures down there that you were lucky to see and lots of rocks, there weren't fish like the fish around the pretty lady though-- and she's gone.

What a shame, you would've loved to introduce yourself to her. Now, your drink demanded your attention and you had to oblige.

And that was the first time you met Sparkle.

You were someone that could admire Sparkle and not only indulge but enjoy her games and give her the attention she wanted. And after you ended up accidentally joining a scene you weren't supposed to be in and participating in her murder mystery game, she realized how good the attention felt.

Black Swan was someone who would observe a puzzle from the outside and would play along with the puzzle but truly be trying to deconstruct the person behind the puzzle.

You, on the other hand, were someone who would know it's a puzzle yet, devote your all to something you knew wasn't real. How silly, but how... cute? Sparkle's thoughts surprised even her, she had always been into toppling over more composed people. But you were composed in a different way. You were passionate but controlled, excited but not often upset, like a river flowing rapidly leaving waves in the air but not leaving it's boundaries unnecessarily.

Your unexpected participation in the murder mystery was exactly what drew Black Swan's interest as well. Your attention was changing from detail to detail each minute and when the time came to guess who Sparkle was. You foolishly guessed Sparkle's body-- and you were right. Black Swan should've figured out the fool would've pulled something like this, Sampo was too obvious of an answer.

Your excitement at the truth was genuine from the way your entire face brightened up to the way you began to hop excitedly in place. "See? Sampo's too nice to kill someone!" She thought your reasoning was still wrong though.

Sampo was pretty cool, he seemed like a scum bag but that didn't mean he'd kill someone he was still too nice to do that. Also he didn't act interested enough in the murder to be Sparkle. If you killed someone you'd be really interested in how the detective solved the murder, it'd be like a fun little game! But you wouldn't do that, most people didn't deserve to die and the ones that did probably wouldn't die by your hand-- and what if you were wrong you'd be better off sending them to jail and hoping they'd reform instead and someone just said something to you that you missed oh shit, hopefully you won't get yelled at.

Oh wait that wasn't directed at you that's just Sparkle trying to get Black Swan to-- wait Black Swan's a memokeeper?! That's sick! Your eyes shined as you looked at the elegant woman with new found respect. A shame Sparkle got rejected, you'd invite her to dance but she probably wouldn't want to dance with you.

"Miss Black Swan," You piped up looking at the veiled woman excitedly and she turned to you with a slight smile. Perhaps, she'd erase your memory, memokeepers were rather secretive right?

None the less you'd rather say what you wanted to say, "Thank you for your work. No memories deserve to be lost, even though one day they will all be lost as we all inevitably die... but that's a while from now! There's so much beauty that needs to be preserved but will inevitably be forgotten. If only we could all share in it, but I understand you likely have your reasons."

If only memokeepers could share all they knew, wouldn't the knowledge of that help humanity immensely? But the weight of memories isn't to be taken lightly, you reminded yourself. All of the pain everyone experienced had to be remembered as well. Because to forget is to repeat.

Her honey eyes took the shape of crescents, "Thank you, dear," her voice sounded like honey too, enough so that you felt your ears grow red at the term of endearment, "Fear not, cherished memories will be preserved from true oblivion."

You blinked, once, twice, "But at some point doesn't there have to be nothing? That's why it's important not just to protect such memories but also make them. Because all we really have is tomorrow. Well, I suppose the only guaranteed thing I have is tomorrow-- actually I could die in the next second so all I have is right now. But memories, at some point wouldn't they have to become nothing as well?"

You paused for a moment before continuing, walking away from Black Swan, "I guess there's no way to know until the end. So when you know whether or not even they become nothing, I'll be waiting, curious, to hear your answer."

That was a fun time. You solved a fake murder, met two pretty ladies, and- oh you won't be alive to hear Black Swan's answer what a shame-- OH! You wondered if they had the once in millennium memory of the ten moon solar eclipse where you could see them all because the smallest moons were the closest to the planet. What a beautiful sight, shame that planet was pretty much deserted. You'd just been lucky to get to see it, you had a research grant or something. Righttt to get samples of that one man eating flower, the cool part was that its flowers contained traces of metal, particularly gold.

Huh, how'd that work? Not like it mattered you were just suppose to get a sample. You wondered if the Garden of Recollection how memories of that plant. You wondered if they had memories of a world slowly dying out, of its last flower crumpling to stony surface.

And with that Black Swan was left looking at your back as you walked away. You were an interesting person. She'd keep an eye out for you but in the meantime the Astral Express seemed to be having some troubles she'd have to prioritize first.

Then, you ran into Sparkle again. This time you were able to strike up a conversation with her. She seemed like a friendly person, albeit she did almost get you killed but such is the way with pranks! All's fair in love and games! And what was life if not a game? Plus you got to see her pretty fish. You wanted one. You didn't think you'd be able to take good care of a fish though, you were already struggling to take care of yourself.

You had a few more run ins with Sparkle and played her games much to her delight! Each time she felt herself growing more excited, would you die if the game required it? You put such care into each moment but even when it resulted in nothing you laughed it off. It was annoying at times, as if anything she planned didn't matter. But when your eyes lit up at solving a puzzle those thoughts were dissuaded.

And even better was how your eyes lit up when they saw her.

How Sparkle preened under your praise. She was sure her games were getting even better with such encouragement and an eager participant! She almost forgot why she came to Penacony in the first place but, she unfortunately had a job. At least the job was fun! Once she was done she'd come and pick you up, she was certain you'd love to come along with her!

Coincidentally when Sparkle had to get more focused on her work you met the beautiful memokeeper again. You greeted her gracefully, your face obviously excited to see her again, and she invited you to a dance..? Sure! Hadn't Sparkle wanted to dance with Black Swan earlier though? Black Swan must've just been busy then, you weren't sure you knew there was something bigger going on behind the scenes but you didn't care much. This was your vacation! Complete freedom to go around and have fun and embrace all the beautiful sights.

Her hand rested snugly on your waist and you didn't resist from leaning into it. You enjoyed the occasional comforts of life, everything is temporary after all. Even if you'd never see Sparkle or Black Swan after this it wouldn't hurt to indulge in the companionship they offered you. "I thought you were too busy to dance," You commented offhandedly, eyes glancing down to her feet every few moments.

Black Swan hummed, appearing a bit confused at first before her vision cleared, "I had another partner but it appears that I got ahead of myself."

"That's always a shame," You replied with a comforting nod. You weren't sure what happened but it can be disappointing when things don't work out, "Still, unexpected results lead to new potential options and that's always fun." You smiled at Black Swan trying to console her as you squeezed her hand gently.

"I suppose you're right," She hummed voice low, eyes rested on you as if always examining you-- oh that's right! You wouldn't forget this time!

You averted your eyes from hers, "I don't mean to be presumptuous but..." Wasn't it arrogant to offer a memory to her? You were sure she'd seen of all kinds of memories, but... you still wanted to offer. "I've traveled a bit and been lucky enough to see some rare sights. I know you've seen a lot but if there's anything particular you want to see, I may have seen it."

That didn't come off as too arrogant right? Honestly, you'd be honored to have a memokeeper keep any of your memories and preserve them but having one look at them was an honor as well.

To your surprise Black Swan didn't reject your idea, at first her eyes widened a bit before relaxing as a sort of fondness entered them, "I've been quite curious myself. I won't intrude, dear." Your bodies remained in motion as she gazed into your eyes and the dance didn't stop.

After Black Swan's experience with Acheron she planned knew not to enter past memories lightly. But, you'd offered up so sweetly and with such hope in your eyes how couldn't she agree? She was curious as well, albeit she wasn't drawn to you like a moth to flame but there was always those lingering thoughts. You were transparent but your words open as they were seemed to lack a clear motive. She wouldn't dig too deeply into your memories just to be safe.

Your memories were clear they were orderly, each having their own place but always moving like an orderly line. Every few moments one would fall out of place and breeze by before finding a new place and the rest would adjust to accommodate it. Black Swan entered one, and immediately felt content. A sunset reached out and covered the landscape in a golden glow, many different kinds of flowers built up human shaped statues, and a soft blanket rested under her palms.

How pleasant, and new... She hadn't been here before, it had a sunset something you could see nearly everywhere but each individual detail added a sense of freshness. She entered another memory, and another. Was there nothing but joy and content in your life?

Each memory was a pleasant feeling that washed over her and kept her warm. She didn't want to leave. In a sense it was more dangerous than Acheron's memories which had tried to devour her bite by bite. But this was a lure, a sweet world with nothing but beauty as if it wanted to trap Black Swan forever. She entered another memory, which had been moving along pleasantly.

Peace washed over Black Swan and she felt her shoulders slump down, as she saw a sun take up half the space of the sky. A single flower to the left crumple onto stone. The death of a world. What had you been doing here?

Why... despite the lack of life and everything was it still so peaceful and warm. As if the act of death was one of beauty. As of with you everything was worthy of joy. Your memories were deceiving, Black Swan noted. She wanted to find a painful one, there had to be at least one, right?

And there were several, far out numbered by the golden soft ones that immersed her in feelings of ecstasy. But after being pampered with such rich memories, and after having almost been devoured by some (Acheron's) Black Swan couldn't bring herself to enter the pain. She would later, but for now she'd be safe, she wouldn't intrude.

At some point during the dance you began to feel cold. You kept an appropriate distance from Black Swan and was sure she didn't notice the way you leaned into her body slightly more. But after a few minutes of the non-stop dancing you felt her hand let go of yours and move around your back to hold you close.

"Thank you," Her voice held warmth in it that you hadn't heard from her before.

"It's beautiful right?" You weren't sure what memory she'd seen but you had many that were pleasing, although you were sure a memokeeper's expectations were higher than yours. Honestly, you could drink a good drink and that would be enough of a pleasing memory for you. Speaking of which you had a wonderful drink the first time you saw Sparkle, you should go get that again.

Black Swan looked into your eyes, a gentle smile on her face, "It is." And for once you felt slightly uncomfortable, as if you didn't understand what she was saying completely. But you brushed it off, you didn't understand after all you didn't know what memories she saw.

Black Swan truly thought you were a sight to behold. A gem, she'd almost missed out. And as she saw you dancing with Sparkle, Black Swan recognized you were a beauty she'd almost lost.

Somehow Sparkle had found out about you dancing with Black Swan and had demanded a dance. Of course she hadn't said it outright instead it was a part of a game. In order to sneak into some "evil castle" the two of you attended a ball in which you pretended to be normal guests but would likely later sneak off to what Sparkle proclaimed as "behind the stage." Coincidentally Penacony also had a dance right now, making the atmosphere perfect.

Of course, there was no evil castle, or grand scheme but it was a fun game. Sparkle dragged you between couples, keeping your bodies forever in a sway. She'd twirl into your arms and rest her head on your chest, tilting her head up with a foxish grin on her face. How precious. You'd let out a laugh, and then bring her into a dip.

Then she'd wring her hands around your neck, keeping it still, but not hurting you in the slightest, and a warm feeling would touch your lips. That... That wasn't right. But you might as well indulge in the moment, your time here was coming to a close. Every dream eventually had to end.

You leaned forward, eyes closed, and mind completely focused on the lips on yours. They were warm and soft, and although at first they'd been rather tentative at your reciprocation they pressed closer and Sparkle leaned closer to you as well.

Black Swan hadn't been expecting to see that. Of all of the things she was expecting today, this was the one she expected the least. Her fingers rested on her thigh as she gazed at the pair which was now dancing again. As much as she wanted to approach she remained stagnant, this event was just about to begin after all.

Even if Black Swan did interrupt even she wasn't sure of what she would say or do. Was she upset that the little lady had kissed her dear? Or was Black Swan upset that you had danced with her little lady. Perhaps, she was just feeling a bit excluded, but she hadn't felt this way since before she was a memokeeper.

Black Swan didn't have time to dwell on her feelings because the next moment your body had been impaled. You lurched forward, pushing Sparkle away as you for some reason tasted water rather than blood in your mouth. You let out a choked cough and crumpled to your knees, barely able to feel the pain. You wanted to run but-- it was all over now wasn't it? You'd never died before.

This hadn't gone to plan, was the first thing Sparkle realized. She might've gotten too distracted by you, and now she paid the price. Your dying face was new and beautiful but, she had a sinking realization she didn't want to see this again. Since this was a dream it'd be fine and her smile came quite easy to her, the laugh came out even easier.

How fun. But if you were dead then the fun would end wouldn't it? It seemed like Sparkle would have to take the stage after all and it seemed like her dear memokeeper was inclined to too.

You woke up, clothes sticking to your body, and jolted out of the water pod. You were alive. That was good, you still hadn't gotten that drink you liked here again. You got up from the pod, pulling your damps clothes off and replacing them with dry ones. What a bad end to a dream, you only had a few days left here too. You eyed the pod nervously, you didn't exactly want to revisit it now either. Maybe you'd leave Penacony a bit early.

Your hand drifted down to your stomach, there was no hole in it. What had stabbed you anyway? It's not like it mattered now. You walked out of your room, face more uneasy than normal. It was a shame you'd be leaving without bidding those beautiful women goodbye.

Before setting off for your next adventure you sat down at the bar and ordered a drink similar to the one you had in the dream world. It tasted slightly sweeter. How nice, even nicer were the lights on the ceiling. Intricately decorated. And the individual next to you was beautiful as well, with long lilac hair.

"It's pleasant to see you again Dear." Her voice was soft and adoring, eyes as sweet as honey.

You blinked in surprise, "Black Swan!" A smile grew on your face, you didn't think she would bother to make herself visible in the real world to you.

"Boo!" A smaller hand rested on your shoulder as a lighter voice whispered in your ear suddenly. You jolted upward, and felt warmth flood across your face.

"Sparkle!" You greeted her with as much enthusiasm as you hid Black Swan, her hands glided across your chest and onto your opposite shoulders holding you in a hug.

Black Swan examined the two of you, a smile remaining on her face affectionately. It felt strange. Like you were intruding on a scene, like you weren't meant to be here. "Little lady, don't go overboard. I'm sure our dear is already feeling overwhelmed after all that's happened." Her glove hand brushed against your cheek.

Okay. You didn't know how to deal with this. When two women out of your league were so physically close. It wasn't that you weren't a catch yourself just, a memokeeper and Sparkle was beyond gorgeous herself. Maybe if you just stayed still they'd go away.

Sparkle poked your cheek and you remained perfectly still. And who could blame you? This was a bit overwhelming. You had just died what felt to be a few moments ago anyway and that... that wasn't pleasant. It was new but for once you wanted to go in your room and just sleep it off, or adventure until you forgot about it or distorted it into a memory of beauty.

"...Hey, you're not broken yet, right? There's so much fun to be had!" Sparkle's voice sounded worried at first before turning into her usual enthusiastic tone. You could feel her breath against your ear, the warmth of her arms around you, and the sudden loss of Black Swan's hand against your cheek.

Black Swan let out a gentle sigh, "I suppose it'd be too much to hope for you to be immediately the same after that." Her gaze was pitying to which you lifted an eyebrow.

"Well having experienced death does that," You muttered, "It'll disappear with time." Your words were nonchalant despite the severity of what had happened, and you shrugged Sparkle's arms off or at least you tried to.

Instead the smaller girl linked her hands around your waist and pressed her face against your back, "Now, that's the spirit!" She cheered, "What should we do next?" She paused, "Oh! Let's get into the Genius Society! I wanna impersonate a genius! And you, can have Black Swan whisper you the answers!"

Ooo that actually sounded pretty fun, the Genius Society even you had never been able to seen behind their walls. Wait-- you had work to do though, work which would thankfully let you see rare sights. Although you were pretty sure your next job was one of the less savory ones, the planet you were heading to was torn apart by war. War was such a disgusting thing, leaving behind only murder in its path. But from all the dead bodies one day would spring flowers.

You could've been one of those bodies. Although you doubted any flowers would be able to grow in the dream pod you'd been sleeping in. Your body wouldn't have even been beautiful in the end. That's what will happen if you get complacent, like you were on vacation.

"That does sound fun," You admitted gazing over your shoulder to Sparkle, "But, my break is over! Things to do, people to meet, you know how it is." Sparkle's arms froze around you and you lightly brushed them off, getting up from the bar stool.

When you went to leave it was Black Swan who stopped you, arm resting on your shoulder, and pulling you close as if to embrace you, "Remember Dear, you have to rest. It's been a lot hasn't it? Would you like me to walk you back to your room?" She offered politely, and you smiled graciously in response.

"Thanks! But, I didn't really pack much. I was planning to just head out, actually. I'm happy I got to see the both of you again though!" You rested one hand on Black Swan's bicep, squeezing it affectionately, and the other on Sparkle's head, gently patting her hair and then running your hand down to her neck.

This had been a fun journey, despite... your death. It wasn't really a death it was in the dream world but maybe whether or not it was real didn't matter. But how it effected you did. So as long as you changed the effect it would be okay. Your dream world death was a new and wonderful experience-- yeah that just didn't sit right with you. The lighting seemed off in the room for a moment as Sparkle jumped up from her chair and walked over to you, presumably for a hug.

You'd been hugged out but it was likely the last time you'd see her, and a bit of indulgence in the warmth she offered wouldn't hurt you. But her knocking you out did.

Black Swan let out an aggrieved sigh, "Did you have to do that?" For once some annoyance seeped into her voice. "I thought you would like the chase," She then mentioned offhandedly.

"It's the most fun part," Sparkle remarked looking at your body on the floor a smile on her face, "But how are you supposed to chase someone's that's dead? ...That ends the game. It'd be great if the fun could last forever! So why can't it?" She let out a laugh, that was less out of amusement and more out of clinging onto the little sanity she had left.

"You're worried," Black Swan kneeled down, and put one arm around her shoulder as your other arm was placed around Sparkle's.

Sparkle turned to Black Swan, still smiling, "Of course! I don't want to miss out on all of the fun!"

You couldn't help but laugh even if it was at your own detriment. It seemed like Sparkle had finally found you, "Took you long enough!" You teased her, the sun remained low in the sky. You forced your shoulders to relax, they were oddly tense.

A bird fluttered above the two of you, resting on a tree branch. "All I hear is a sore loser, I still caught you!" Sparkle's voice was filled with glee as she linked your arms together, "You're mine now, okay!"

"I always have been," You responded to your lover staring at the sun that would forever remain in its Golden Hour, "...You know, I've always wanted to leave home..." You admitted, you wondered when Black Swan would be back. It wasn't quite the same without her.

Thankfully you didn't have to wonder for long as you saw the beautiful woman stepped out of the house. You began to tremble when you saw her. You wondered why... Perhaps out of excitement? If it was anyone else you would've guessed that your trembling was out of fear.

Black Swan walked over to the two of you, practically gliding, "Are you ready to leave now?" She asked you gently, to which your face became alit with excitement, "I suppose Sparkle and I do have to leave soon anyway," Black Swan let out a mellow sigh, "Would you like to join us?"

You didn't think even for a second, "Of course!" You ran to embrace Black Swan, feeling her chest move against yours with every breath.

You'd always wanted to leave the Golden Hour, and to be able to leave with your two new lovers seemed like the best thing that could happen! Perhaps you'd be able to see some fish at the bottom of the sea, or a world die, or some of Sparkle's fun pranks! But you were happiest to stay by their side. That was all that mattered, after all they were the ones who brought light into your life.

Keeping you safe had come at a cost, but all good things require a little sacrifice. You'd still be the same person just without the same parts, well memories. It didn't matter anyway you'd have plenty of memories to replace the ones which had been altered and lost.

Black Swan would fill you with more honeyed memories and Sparkle would bring color to them all.

A free bird sings better than a caged one. And even though the singing was exactly what attracted them in the first place, it'd be better to keep you safe, right where they can see you. But if that bird stops to sing then maybe they'll have to let out. Or make it believe that it was let out by keeping it in a dream. So that even once it wakes up from the dream it'll still believe it's free.

ANYWAY WHILE I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF WRITING THIS I SENT IT TO MY FRIEND ALL PEEPOSHY HEY U WANNA READ IT (first fanfic of mine they would have read that isn't about our friends). AND DISCORD DID THE DUMBASS THING OF SENDING IT IN A .TXT SO I WAS LIKE: aw man don't worry about it

anyway this mf reads it anyway scrolling right and left and down bcus the .txt format is SO bad I straight up just copy pasted it idk why discord was being so bitchy. And like-- they read it so fucking kind and nice :) im blessed with good friends

Per usual I am realizing how infinitely shitty I am at writing head canons (everything just turns into a fic) if this wasn't to your liking send a request and I can try to amend it to more just ideas but generally by the time I get started on the first question (what makes them interested in you) it's already a story and I forgot I was answering a request.

My big idea for this one were strongly inspired by how Black Swan remarks that Sparkle is like a child, as she always seems to be craving affection/approval, and that makes her easy to please. Also Sparkle is so hard to write like her dialogue is chaotic but it's like held within a line idk it's weird I was trying to mimic it but I don't think it came out too well. Also I wanted to add more Black Swan x Sparkle but it just didn't work out that way when I was writing it, don't blame me I can't control what I write (you can blame me).

[archivalofsins]

For Futa Jackalope really did just turn to camera and say chicken says what. Like he called the audience cowards. Too afraid to judge Futa because it would mean judging themselves.

Jackalope was on it. This end of trial report he hit all the right notes- He was in all the right places. He saw the audiences weaknesses and he hit them over and over.

He said you had your fun sowing lets chat before the reaping starts and he went in.

Like damn no remorse.

"Or……maybe you just couldn’t bring yourself to find him “guilty”, because he reminded you too much of yourself……I’m just blabbing."

Even down to highlighting the faceless Futa showing that he could easily be any of us as he said it. Jackalope said,

"I take no prisoners; you will see an ending before the end. It will be shaped like every door you did not open and every life you did not live. Then in the face of your doubts you will keep walking forward because where you came from no longer exists. Time has an insatiable appetite and we are all on it's menu. Hahaha I'm such a kidder."

Back to what he really said and the thing that intrigues me the most. Jackalope throughout the second trial report kept highlighting that despite finding Kotoko guilty we proved through our verdict that her actions do work.

By finding everyone who she attacked/threatened Innocent. This continues the trend of Kotoko jumping on any sign of agreement to get to the conclusion she wants to end up at. That being her methods are correct. So just because we found her guilty doesn't necessarily mean we found her methods wrong.

The way Jackalope interprets the guilty prisoners change in verdict may be exactly how Kotoko will view it herself.

"But, to put it another way, if this is because he showed remorse, you could also say his “innocent” verdict was thanks to the actions of Kotoko Yuzuriha, right?"

Cuz think about it…….who knows how he would have acted without the pain, right?

Q.04 Would you make the same mistake again?

Futa: I don’t think so. I don’t think I could take this kind of pain again.

Q.07 What have you been into lately?

Futa: Finding a way to distract myself from the pain.

Well next up Kazui~

He’s a self-admitted liar, have you been able to solve the mystery?

Well given the little amount of information provided in contrast to Jackalope's statement on Yuno... I would have to say we haven't. Instead Jackalope just reiterates things that Es brought to attention in Kazui's second voice drama.

Not mentioning anything about cheating or marriage in the slightest.

Again very interesting in comparison to Yuno who Jackalope admits told us what she did herself without ever really honing in on what part of what she told us should be considered.

Just stating,

"She said it herself, so her crime became quite clear, hasn’t it? And that crime didn’t raise to the level of murder to you, I take it. Interesting. I guess that’s how it is in your era."

Yet in Yuno's second trial interrogation she said a lot of things. Including dismissing the audience previous judgments on her and the guards desire to project a sob story onto her.

Yuno Second Trial Interrogation

This situations bothersome-ness has won out./I won't be bothered.

"So, I am extremely cooled off." (-273.15°C) "That is all."

"That’s the real Yuno Kashiki, you could say. Cold and logical. Practical and unromantic. Getting her to interact is gonna be a heavy lift, I’d say."

"You want to make clear the truth...huh? Fu... Haha!"

"The result of doing looots of sugar-daddying: ...abortion."

...!

"That's probably my murder. Well, please go ahead and partake of the truth."

...

"How is it? Satisfied? Then, can we be done already?"

Yuno...you...

"You don't surprise much, do you? As I thought, you knew it from the song extraction."

Cold and Logical

Well, yes. As one possibility, I thought it was likely. That, going by Milgram's scope of interpretation for murder, it was possible.

"I'm sure. Well, I generally got the sense that that's how it was. I could feel it."

You could feel it...you say?

"I can hear it, while I'm in Milgram. It's probably the same for everyone else."

Practical and unromantic.

"Voices peeking in, digging around, and discussing my sins."

Interesting that she uses sins plural here not singular. Didn't note this previously but probably should have.

Something like that...

"Are those not the thoughts you were having? Not that I would know."

But you get my point Jackalope's end of trial report on Yuno confirms that what she said in her second interrogation was in fact the truth and nothing but it. However, he speaks very little on how we interpreted what we were told in contrast to other prisoners.

Just making a sweeping statement,

Interesting. I guess that’s how it is in your era.

But he does ponder an interesting thing,

"I wonder though, what decides the worth of a life?"

Playing on the abortion debate that her trial turned into before plainly asking,

"……don’t tell me, did this murder seem smaller to you than the murders of the other prisoners? Thought-provoking!"

Again playing on the idea the fans have ran with that Yuno should not even be here because she hasn't committed murder like the other prisoners. He says a lot and not that much while discussing Yuno but Jackalope's statements on her can be used to further scrutinize what's not said about Kazui.

Like I said he basically confirms Yuno was in fact telling the truth throughout her second voice drama but doesn't mention any of what was brought up in Kazui's outside of reiterating Es' points.

Of Kazui being a liar and self-pitying going as far as to call him emo and even praise us for being so accommodating to him despite his woe is me routine.

Jackalope even comments that he can't bring himself to be interested in Kazui,

"It all feels very emo and I can’t bring myself to be very interested in him, but the fact that you’re so accommodating to him, is commendable."

However, he reiterates another point one that he brought up from the beginning that directly contradicts a statement that Kazui made in his second voice drama,

"He’s the only one who has the strength to fight off Kotoko and Mikoto after all."

Kazui states in his second voice drama that if Kotoko and Mikoto were to team up that would be the end of him and Milgram. Contradicting Jackalope's statement in Es' voice drama that if Milgram were an all out brawl then Kazui would come out victorious.

So Jackalope basically goes he's still lying have you figured out what the lies are and then just goes here's one of them for free.

Now onto the other interesting one- Amane.

Amane's is interesting because Jackalope basically goes her life would be this way in and out of Milgram. Showing that his focus with Amane is not us being tricked into going easier on her because she's a child but a desire for the audience to go harder on her because she is a child.

Coddling isn't going to prepare her for the real world but neither is being unnecessarily cruel to her either. Even admitting that he himself doesn't know what made the audience find Amane innocent this time around and stating he's curious about the judgement.

Despite how vocal people said Amane fans were being- This again highlights that no, they weren't. Amane fans weren't pushing super hard or really loud. They weren't going around shouting at people to vote her innocent or bribing people to. Hell, the staff couldn't even write a decent bit for her part of the video because they don't know what caused this.

"I remember feeling a sort of awe at your resoluteness to your duties, being a kid didn’t mean you couldn’t be “guilty”, right? So, what was it that made you choose “innocent” this time? I’m very curious. Is it her, or her beliefs, or her birthright, or her fate…."

Whatever the circumstances may be, she is the one that has to bear the blame. That’s just how it is. Both in and out of MILGRAM, isn’t that right?

They were wrong for highlighting the tasing scene like this again. They went I'm about to make you feel bad if you voted this kid guilty fucking suffer rip to you I guess- you are the problem. Like there was no joking here Jackalope looked at the camera and went,

Jackalope: This is just how it is everywhere. Your vote won't change that. It won't lessen the weight of the blame on her shoulders. In or outside of Milgram.

The “It can’t be helped”, from the scum that can’t be helped. That makes them doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, categorically, emphatically, GUILTY.

Then just went to Mikoto like that shit was nothing like it didn't just destroy my soul.

That concludes my fucked up things from the end of trial two report.

[starkidsimping]

before the batman : annotations

spoilers for the novel btw //

these are just some lines i highlighted and my notes. warning, theyre very stupid and hold little to no actual content. literally just my immediate response to whatever i had just read. THIS IS STUPIDLY LONG ! ! blue - bruce centric notes green - edward centric notes pink - misc notes, other characters, etc.

Prologue: The Boy in the Choir

"But when it was empty, Bruce had played in the big room, rolling toy race cars across the gleaming wooden floor all by himself."

OH MY GOD BRO :( what a patootie

-

"Except for one boy."

wsp baby :( ily

-

Chapter I: Summer Plans

"Alfred smiled and held up a notebook computer. 'I did. Straight A's. You made the Dean's List again.'"

hes just so proud of his boy </3 weeping

-

Chapter II: A Secret Project

"Alfred liked to joke that he was teaching him 'Brucejitsu.'"

theyre so cute im gonna vomit

-

"...private train car..."

this is insane. for the record .

-

"(About nine times out of ten, the mysterious substance turned out to be chewing gum.)"

let bro have fun :( hes so cute im gonna cry. just imagine him being so excited about making some incredible scientific breakthrough of an unknown, potentially supernatural substance and its. gum. hes so cute :(

-

"Maybe someday soon this car could take him there."

HES SO CUTE hes just a little boy ..... (hes 17.) honestly his dissatisfaction with life is just a result of nepotism. my poor wittle nepo baby

-

Chapter III: Edward

"...Edward Nashton."

HAIII :3

-

"You weren't supposed to say you hated school. But you were supposed to think summer was fun."

CHRIST hes so autism coded. 'supposed to,' like theres a certain way that youre meant to think that everyone else knows about, but he specifically is left out and has to guess on what hes 'supposed' to say, think, feel, etc...

-

"He smirked at me. Thought he was so much better than me."

sighs loudly .

-

"If a distant relative sent some money to one of the orphans, everyone would say, 'Man, you're such a Bruce.'"

NOT THEM TURNING HIS NAME INTO A SLUR LMFAO

-

Chapter IV: The Bruce Wayne

"He quickly found the right wrench by touch."

oh my god bro be soooo fkn fr. hes such a loser. i love him

-

"He certainly didn't want to blow the engine. Just make is growl."

oh hes one of THOSE …….. okay baby whatever makes you happy. i love how hes literally just the Car Boyfriend. F1 fan . smh

-

"'The way this guy was driving, I thought maybe they'd changed it to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.'"

dickhead

-

Chapter V: I Know You

"Anything except his parents back."

oh. erm …!

-

Chapater VI: Dex and Paul

"That felt good—leaving ’em in the dust."

hes so cute. "haha yeah >:) i totally win"

-

Chapter VII: Thrills

“'Cheapskate,' he’d muttered as he walked back to his bike."

bro is so unserious. 'ax an elder' like that would blow over well. youre such a little freak i love you I LOVE YOU

-

"But now just the thought of doing something wrong—even something dangerously criminal—thrilled him."

you need a better outlet baby. have you considered getting diagnosed ......

-

Chapter VIII: You're In

"It was a puzzle he was determined to solve."

PUZZLE MENTION ! ! i like the parallels between ed and bruce ; both getting a thrill out of something they shouldnt be doing, being really good at certain respectives (i.e. edward and puzzles, bruce and cars) (this feels really autistic. for both of them)

-

"And he had a feeling Dex would disapprove."

he js wants to impress his cool new friend this is so sad lmao

-

Chapter IX: The Race

"But then the flash turned into a flame, and the flame spread quickly. BOOM!"

babys first act of terrorism LMAO

-

"Her engine blew, and her black muscle car careened off the street, hit a wall, and burst into flames."

OH MY GOD ?

-

Chapter X: Bye, Paul

"I wore my seatbelt like a good citizen should."

girl what are you on about now is NOT the time

-

"Aww, he thought. Poor little rich kids! Did someone bust up your racing party? Too bad! I wonder who it could have been."

shifty little fucker bro is MALICIOUS LOL

-

Chapter XI: Running

"Now, how was the race last night? Did you win?"

ALFRED ILY SM bro is so silly

-

Chapter XII: An Appointment

-

Chapter XIII: Changes

-

Chapter XIV: A Suit

"Bruce had written his thoughts down in a notebook:"

i just adore that he keeps a diary. i found it hysterical while watching the movie and now i just appreciate it

-

Chapter XV: The Point

"He brought the same lunch every day—sandwich, carrots, apple."

hes so cute im gonna THROW UP. im gonna throw up. same thing every day bro im just adding this to my list of reasons as to why hes autistic. possible safe foods for him and also just routine. god i love him. if he told me to make him a sandwhich i would. whats feminism idk ......

-

"Edward looked him in the eye. 'For a numbers guy, you sure use a lot of words.'”

ok fine i giggled. hes such a smartass LMAO what an asshole (affectionate)

-

Chapter XVI: Robbery

-

Chapter XVII: Smear it On, Blow it Up

-

Chapter XVIII: Under the Mask

"'You again?' he gasped. 'What do you want?' 'You,' Bruce said,"

im blushing

-

"Then he got an idea. What if it wasn’t there anymore?"

please for the love of god do NOT blow up the building full of orphan children i cannot keep defending you

-

"It was Dex."

GENUINELY CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD ??

-

Chapter XIX: A Visit to Smitty

-

Chapter XX: For My Lawn Mower

“'Give me back that bag,' Dex warned, lifting the rake. 'Or what?' Bruce asked, chuckling. 'You’ll rake me into a neat pile?'”

shut up dude 😭 😭

-

"Keeping a careful hold on the satchel, he wrapped his powerful arms around her, trapping her."

HELLO SAILOR

-

“'I’m going to fill this,' he explained. 'For my lawn mower.'”

i cannot keep defending this guy (yes i can) hes gonna set a fkn orphanage on fire dawwwggg

-

"And just like always, Edward had made exactly zero impression on the cashier."

the "disguise" wasnt even necessary bro no one gaf 😭 😭

-

Chapter XXI: Nice Kick

"...he saw the driver on the ground reach into his pocket, pull something out, and aim it at the truck. A remote control."

goodbye bruce. you were so so sexy

-

"As the fire alarm went off..."

BRO . YOU DID NAWT .

-

"They were right. There was no fire. Yet."

oh ok nvm carry on then

-

Chapter XXII: Busted

-

Chapter XXIII: Resolutions

"Then something interesting occurred to Edward. What if I sent riddles with my crimes?"

UR SO CORNY DAWG . shut up ur so corny . someone get this cornball outta here (and in my BED)

[steddiealltheway]

Part Three of Not-So-Secret Secret Admirer!!! Part One. Part Two. AO3 Link.

Eddie doesn’t know what to get Steve next. Well, he knows what he wants to give Steve, but he’s pretty sure a mixtape would be a dead giveaway. But it’s four days after the second gift, and he needs one for tomorrow. 

He groans and flops down on his bed. What’s vague enough that doesn’t scream Eddie Munson is your fake secret admirer? He could get cupcakes or something, but that’s kind of dumb and not personal enough. Plus, he wants to see Steve get flustered again. It feels nice to know that he can do that to Steve Harrington. 

Because it’s Steve, and he doesn’t seem easily wooed, as he’s always the one doing the wooing. Eddie is glad to be giving Steve a break for once because he’s a great friend. A great friend who happens to get butterflies when he sees his other friend get giddy from his anonymous gifts. 

Eddie flails his arm out to grab his pillow and scream into it – instead, he hits his bedside table and hears a large clattering noise. The universe is against him tonight. 

Eddie groans and rolls to the side of his mattress to check if anything important fell besides his deodorant. He sees a few abandoned hair ties and an empty soda can but nothing of value. Until he’s slightly blinded by a gleam of silver. 

He reaches out and grabs the small object, fingers wrapping around the cool metal. It’s the ring he keeps on his nightstand, far too large for any of his fingers but also with a simple design carved into the metal that is almost too pretty for Eddie to be putting it on a chain to wear around his neck. 

It’s not anything too sentimental besides the fact that Eddie has had it for years now after spotting it at some yard sale and immediately swiping it – blame his father for teaching him that trick. He stares at it for the first time in a long time fully taking it in. He has the absurd thought that it would look pretty on Steve. 

It would look pretty on Steve. He’s scared he’d hate it and wear it only when Eddie is around to see it. But if it’s from his secret admirer, Eddie doesn’t have to worry about Steve’s politeness. He laughs and clutches the ring to his chest thinking of a cheesy note to write Steve as he drifts off. 

-:-:-:-:-:- 

He parks in the parking lot, ring in a small cardboard box with a horribly wrapped bow on top trapping a note underneath it. Every five days is a nice schedule, but maybe he should add some variation in it. But there’s no way that Steve is going to guess today is the day after only two gifts. 

At least, that’s what he thinks until Eddie sets the box on the top of Steve’s tire and hears someone yell, “Eddie! You’re Steve’s secret admirer?!” Dustin of all people pops out from behind the corner of the store. 

“Dustin... this isn’t what you think...” 

Dustin runs up to him and grabs him by the arm. “I’ve been waiting out here for days for some girl, and it’s just been you! Are you kidding me?” Eddie finds that Dustin is a lot stronger than he thinks as he drags him inside the store and yells, “Steve! I found your secret admirer!” 

Steve and Robin whip their heads around. Robin’s eyes go wide, and Steve’s eyebrows pinch together. “Well, where is she?” Steve questions.  

“Nu uh uh. Where is he?” Dustin corrects him excitedly pointing to Eddie. 

Steve takes a moment to process it, but as soon as he opens his mouth, Eddie cuts him off. “I’m not his secret admirer! I’m just... the messenger! Okay? I caught them the first time, and I promised to deliver the rest so they wouldn’t get caught.” He holds his hands up, pretty proud of his ability to make shit up on the spot. But he’s also dug himself into a way deeper hole. 

He glances towards Steve, trying his best not to look guilty or suspicious. Oddly enough, Steve seems a bit... disappointed by the news. Probably just because he was excited to solve the mystery of E.R. and no other reason. “So, you know them?” Steve questions. 

“Better than you think,” Eddie says, and tries not to cringe as Robin signals at him to cut it out. 

“Sworn to secrecy?” 

“The secretest,” Eddie replies lamely but Steve doesn’t laugh for once, just smiles tightly. 

“Are you kidding me?” Dustin says again. “You’re our friend first! Whoever this is can forget about whatever promise you made.” 

“Why don’t we talk about this outside while grabbing Steve’s gift?” Eddie says already grabbing Dustin’s shoulder and pulling him out the door. 

“Who is it? Who could possibly be so important that they-”  

The door closes behind them, and Eddie finally starts talking, “It’s me, okay? But not like me.” Eddie sighs and runs a hand over his face. 

“You have like two seconds to explain to me before I tell Steve,” Dustin says, full attitude in his tone. 

“Steve couldn’t stop saying he was hopeless, so I came up with a plan to give him hope.” 

Dustin narrows his eyes at him. “So, you made Steve an imaginary admirer to stop his whining.” Eddie cringes at that description, but... it’s true. “That’s perfect!” 

Eddie shoots the kid a look. “It is?” 

“Well, we don’t have to worry about a random person trying to butt into the group, and now we’re sure that Steve will be occupied until someone else comes along.” 

Someone else. Yeah, that’s a good plan. All part of the plan. Speaking of that... Eddie grabs the small box off the top of Steve’s wheel and walks back into Family Video to find Steve staring at him. “What was that all about?” 

“Had to convince Henderson that the admirer was worthy enough for his second favorite babysitter.” 

“The first being?” 

“Me of course. Right Dustin?” Eddie asks ruffling his hair. 

Steve points at the kid. “Don’t answer that.” 

Dustin holds his hands up and changes the subject, “I’m just here to see what’s in the box.” 

With that, Eddie tosses it to Steve who catches it easily. He smiles down at the gift. “I don’t want to undo the bow it’s so cute.” 

Robin gives him a look filled with confused disgust. “Just open the box.” 

Steve reluctantly unties the bow and stares at the note. Dustin and Robin scoot closer to him and read along. Eddie joins them. You and me... that has a nice ring to it. Robin groans and Dustin laughs. 

Okay, maybe it doesn’t make total sense, but it’s the best Eddie could come up with. It has the effect Eddie wanted – Steve's cheeks flush a wonderful shade of pink. He opens up the box on the counter and removes the ring carefully. He slowly spins it around to look at every detail. 

Robin and Dustin look over at Eddie with wide eyes. “Looks like your secret admirer is proposing,” Robin breathes out. 

“No I-” Eddie trails off as Steve looks up at him. “I... don’t think that was their intention. Besides, I doubt it fits his ring finger.” 

Steve slides the ring over his ring finger. It fits perfectly. Steve smiles. 

“Okay, I think it’s a little too soon for a marriage proposal,” Eddie says, sweating at the image of Steve wearing his ring for some reason. 

“Not if he’s known the person for a long time,” Dustin supplies unhelpfully. Telling him was a bad idea. 

Luckily, Steve seems too distracted by his gift to really process what the kid has said. Eddie takes the moment to shoot Dustin a warning look. He decides it’s better to take him out of the situation entirely. “So, Dustin, your duty is done, so let me give you a ride home.” 

“To the arcade,” Dustin corrects. 

“Fine, the arcade. Let's go,” Eddie says as he starts heading out the door. 

“Wait!” Steve says, finally breaking out of his thoughts. Eddie turns around. “Just... give me a minute,” Steve says and runs to the break room. 

Robin rushes forward. “You told Dustin?” 

“Big mistake, I know.” 

“Hey! I’m great at keeping secrets.” Robin and Eddie give him a blank stare. Dustin sighs, “Fine, I’ll just wait in the car.” Eddie watches as Dustin mutters something under his breath as he walks out the door. 

“You’re really getting into this whole gift thing, aren’t you?” Robin teases him with a knowing smile. What she knows, Eddie doesn’t want to think about. 

“Just helping a friend out.” 

“A friend,” Robin says sarcastically. 

The break room door opens before Eddie can defend himself. Steve rushes over to Eddie with a folded-up piece of paper.  “Can you give this to them? And just... promise not to read it.” 

“Of course,” Eddie lies, stomach churning unpleasantly. “What do you think of the ring?” he asks nervously, changing the subject. 

Steve looks down at it and smiles. “I love it.” 

“Yeah?” Eddie asks with a big grin. 

“Yeah,” Steve replies with a soft look. Eddie tries not to trick himself into think that Steve would respond the same way if Eddie had given it to him without the false pretense of the secret admirer. 

“I’m glad.” Eddie’s eyes flicker to Robin who is staring at him while making a gagging gesture. 

A car horn saves him from any cruder gestures she could make. “Looks like it’s time for me to go and deliver a boy and a letter. Farewell!” Eddie says dramatically, waving at the pair. 

He tries not to think of why the image of Steve waving with the ring glistening on his finger stays stuck in his head. 

After Eddie drops Dustin off, he immediately unfolds the note from Steve.   

Dear E.R.,  

Thank you for the kind gifts. Would be so kind as to tell me something about yourself? Something that makes you smile the way you’ve made me smile.  

I can’t wait to hear from you, 

Steve 

It’s cheesy and romantic, and Eddie’s unable to convince himself that he doesn’t wish the note was truly for him. This was not part of the plan. 

Part Four

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