#we're just warming up

[na-page]

DARREN CRISS - What's it like to work with Darren Criss? | Playbill x Helen J Shen IG Takeover | November 16, 2024 | 🎥 Playbill

[inkskinned]

you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.

but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.

i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.

so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.

you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."

i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"

"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.

i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.

and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.

you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."

"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."

you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.

i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"

"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."

"do i die?"

you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."

"oh."

"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."

i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.

i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.

"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."

i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.

you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."

"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.

you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."

"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.

i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."

you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."

"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."

"you could always die, to be fair."

i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"

"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."

i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."

"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."

i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"

"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."

i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"

i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.

"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."

you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.

you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.

i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.

[shimmershy]

Undertale Month Day 6: Home

Reading together! :)

[aashiyancha]

Lucemon!

[billdenbrough]

@naturecalls111 prompted me kevaaron + procrastination and was like ‘post grad’, meaning they’re not undergrads if it’s canonverse, & something abt the phrasing latched into my brain so we ended up with this vaguely professor au w/ the flimsiest excuse for a TA-adjacent situation ever instead. idk. as ever this was just for her texts & i’m coming off a 30hr migraine so pls forgive me LMAO <3

“I can see right through you,” Kevin murmurs.

“Oh, yeah?” Aaron challenges. God, he’s close.

“Mm,” Kevin says. “You just don’t want to mark the test.”

It's an accusation, but there’s no censure in his voice. He's amused, mostly; fond too, despite himself. It’s not exactly behaviour he should be encouraging, but—

Aaron huffs. “I never want to mark a test,” he points out. “Undergrads are fucking stupid. Or these ones are, anyway.”

“You were an undergrad once,” Kevin says. He very determinedly keeps his hands steady on the bench. Maybe he’s gripping the edge so he stays in place; so what? That's between him and whatever God Renee believes in enough for the both of them.

“These ones,” Aaron repeats, scoffing. “Anyway, I'd never have taken a history paper. Get real.”

Kevin can’t help the frown there. “History is fascinating,” he argues. Aaron scoffs at him again, but the way he watches Kevin runs counter to that. Like he’s listening to whatever Kevin says, regardless. “It is,” Kevin insists again, clearing his throat.

Aaron's gaze tracks the movement, eyes following the motion of his throat, and Kevin kind of wants to clench the counter edge hard enough to crack the formica. Jesus Christ.

“You like research,” Kevin says. He keeps his eyes on Aaron, watches as he steps in closer again. “History is an endless study of every mistake we’ve ever made—”

“—So we don’t repeat our forefathers’ mistakes?” Aaron asks wryly. “Hate to break it to you, but that’s a non-starter.”

“No,” Kevin says, shaking his head. “We’re bad at learning. Mostly, we don’t even see the patterns for decades, if not centuries.”

Aaron cocks his head. “Doesn’t that frustrate you?” he asks. “I've seen you watch sports. You get mad if people make the same fuck-up within, like, three minutes.”

An image floats in Kevin’s head, unbidden: the two of them at the sports bar, late one night after they finally convinced Jeremy to go the fuck home because the college wasn’t paying him enough to sleep at his desk to reply to nineteen year olds’ panicked emails at 11:17pm before a midnight deadline. Kevin had been unbelievably put-out by the Astros’ scoreline; Aaron hadn’t cared so much, but had seemed to find great entertainment in prodding at Kevin to express his opinion to a bar full of patrons who strongly disagreed with him.

Do you even care about baseball? Kevin had asked in the end, exasperated. He’d unknotted his tie and slipped off his jacket, heated by his opinions and the game and the alcohol and the way Aaron had sat there, head tilted, that clever mouth of his quirked up to the side like a smirk, like a secret.

Not really, Aaron had said, shrugging. He swished his beer a little. I played hockey at school myself. Before Kevin could get too excited about that—a sport! An actual goddamn sport! that wasn’t only worth watching European leagues for, cough cough Jeremy and Jean and fucking football—Aaron added, I like seeing how much you care about it, though, and knocked Kevin right on his ass, metaphorically-speaking.

That night had ended in a blur: Kevin’s flushed cheeks as he lectured the bar at large about heliocentrism after finishing his grumbling about the baseball, Aaron’s quiet snort and eyes that laughed more than his mouth did, alcohol-sticky wood beneath his feet as he made his way to the bathroom, the taste of Aaron’s beer on his lips, Aaron’s cool fingers a balm against his cheek, his mouth a searing heat burning all the way through Kevin.

Then when Kevin’s TA dropped out because of ‘unmanageable stress’ (which was not Kevin’s fault, no matter what Dan says, she and Matt can fuck off) and he had to scramble to figure out what to do, Abby had offered one of her tutors—but only for marking, Kevin, he has no base in history. He’s just smart enough to use a rubric and willing to help. Between this and Jean’s long-suffering offer to lead the tutorial that didn’t clash with his meetings with his advisor, and even Neil’s unlikely assistance in the form of helping restructure the syllabus, it all seemed pretty manageable. (The history department had quietly come to the conclusion that this was not, strictly speaking, acceptable by university standards, but elected to ignore this information until the conclusion of the semester. As far as Kevin’s been able to tell in his years in academia, this is how things tend to work.)

When Abby showed up at his office with Aaron, though, Kevin's cheeks had gone hot enough that she’d asked him if he was sure he wasn’t coming down with a stress fever. Aaron's face had stayed blank, but his eyes were – amused.

It was one thing when Aaron had been the regular third person in the staff room late at night alongside Jeremy and Kevin, rubbing his eyes as he scowled at whatever it was he was looking at. (Anatomy exams, Kevin found out later.) He’d been mostly quiet, but sharply funny when he’d ended up interacting with them, mostly starting with indelicate snorts at whatever madcap thing Jeremy was saying, then incredulous stares at Kevin’s rebuttal, and finally muttered jabs as he worked the coffee machine and Jeremy laughed delightedly and Kevin stared at him with disbelief and a slow-building warmth in the base of his stomach.

It was yet another thing when Aaron had been the guy he bundled up Jeremy with, the guy he got drunk with for hours in a sports bar, the guy who laughed at him and offered him buffalo wings so spicy that they made Aaron’s cheeks red and Kevin’s lips feel like they were on fire, until Aaron kissed him, tipsy outside the bar, the warmth spreading through Kevin overtaking both the chilly night air and the spice-stained echoes on Kevin’s mouth.

But it was another thing entirely for Aaron to be Aaron, meaning Abby's favourite postgrad and the guy who diligently read Kevin’s syllabus on top of his own work just to better understand the marking rubric and hater of psych majors everywhere. Aaron, with his tired eyes and quiet laugh and complete inability to answer a phone call from his brother in a normal way. (At one point, Kevin had been half-concerned he was ordering a hit—less about the morality or legality of the situation, more in a if you get arrested, I’m screwed again type way—until Neil had shown up half an hour later with lunch for Aaron and Aaron had gone, ugh and Neil had rolled his eyes, spotted Kevin, and turned to Aaron to say, you’re one to talk. Aaron had flushed a little, then scowled and flipped Neil off, and said fuck off, to which Neil said, gladly, then see you at dinner? And Aaron had waved his hand. If you eat your fucking vegetables, to which Neil had laughed, and flipped him off, and walked out. Kevin had stared at Aaron, nonplussed, but Aaron had ignored him, focusing instead on the test he was marking while he ate the sandwich Neil had brought.) Aaron, with his unbelievably rude opinions about Kevin’s lack of video game knowledge, and the genuinely unreasonable amount of sour gummies he can put away in an hour, and the unbearably soft look he gets on his face when he’s sleepy and huffy and Kevin has gently dragged away whichever test he’s marking or article he’s reading that’s made him so grumpy late at night.

Aaron, who Kevin actually knows now. And likes even more for it, which is inconvenient and inopportune and probably inevitable.

Kevin clears his throat. “People are meant to try and win in sports,” he says. “History is about things that have already happened. It’s a different ballpark.” There’s a moment, and then, “They’ve already lost the battle. I'm not rooting for anything else there.”

Something flares up in Aaron's eyes at that, and he snakes his hand forward, tugging on Kevin's tie. Kevin, hands still holding onto the bench, allows it.

“But sports are about victory?” Aaron asks. 

He’s not even subtle about procrastinating, Kevin thinks. He wants to laugh. He swallows a sigh instead, and says, a little warningly, “Aaron…”

But he doesn’t move. Doesn’t stop Aaron, doesn’t do anything to stop him. Maybe leans in a little, even.

“Yeah,” Kevin says after a long moment. “History, you live or you die. Sports, you’re the best or you’re not.”

“That's a reductive way of looking at the world,” Aaron says, but it’s that tone he gets sometimes, the one where Kevin doesn’t know if he believes it or if he just wants to poke at Kevin a little. Kevin hates that he likes it as much as he does; that he lets it stoke him up, bites at the bit every time.

“You are not subtle,” Kevin murmurs. The tests are sitting on the table behind Aaron, staring up at the ceiling. Aaron's coffee is abandoned, probably cold.

You are not subtle, Kevin says, and means it, but Aaron’s cocked his eyebrow at him, and there’s something a little taunting in his eyes, and he’s still holding onto Kevin’s tie, and something in Kevin loosens. He sighs, and lets go of the bench, tucking his fingers into Aaron's belt loops instead and pulling him forward.

“Is this a sport?” Aaron asks, because he’s a dick and facetious and he knows just how to make Kevin want to shut him up.

“You’re not as funny as you think you are,” Kevin scolds, and then leans forward to kiss the rebuttal out of Aaron's mouth.

[thefloatingstone]

Finally finished what I'm gonna be using as the thumbnail to the Mass Effect Streams. Now I just need to do the "Starting Soon" screen and I should be done!

(I should do an ending screen but I'll probably just have a graphic pointing people to my main channel and my Patreon/kofi links)

Anyway here's the thumbnail

I know I should include Ashley and Kaidan but I genuinely got lazy. Like that's the only reason they're not there lol.

Sorry ;;

[todayisafridaynight]

[sneeb-canons]

Headcanon #400: Heart & Mind are usually never a neutral temperature. The area around them is like the sun & moon. Mind's being hot and Hearts being cold. They're body temperatures however contrast that with Mind always feeling cold like metal/machinery and Heart feeling warm like a literal heart.

[more in tags :}]

[kedreeva]

hey there's a big weather situation occurring across a huge portion of the US. If you're in it, I hope you're staying safe and warm, and that the ice and snow doesn't do much damage, if any.

[actual-corpse]

きみとそらをとぶ　/ feat. 初音ミク & 巡音ルカ

Y'all... why does this give me intense nostalgia for a time I know I can never get back to?

Like... That's THE Pokémon song! The one you hear at the end of your journey. The one that makes you wanna go back to your mom and show her your Pokémon badges.

I really do love Pokémon lol. I love the games even though I hate battling. I'm actually in the process of trying to complete my Pokedex in Let's Go! Eevee, before I build my dream team for the Elite Four. I love my Eevee, I named her after my cat (as you do).

Idk... I'm tired, and in pain, and in my feelings about this song.

[puff-the-bunny]

TINY RYUNOSUKE JUMPSCARE!!!!!!!!! ACK. he's saying hi. hi

sitting down to play more TGAAC and therefore that would also make it government assigned Puff greeting o'clock... and also Ryunosuke is the only one I can confidently (???) draw. agh. he's kinda like a little animal. maybe a new species to study. something like that dunno! who can say

HOPE YOU'RE WELL SMILESMILE

OH MY FREAKING GOSH... THE ABSOLUTE HONOR TO HAVE THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND LEFT IN MYYYYY HUMBLE INBOX?? So teeny... So small... Putting him in a jar with a stick and a leaf to protect him from the harsh elements.......

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[einsatzzz]

KHR Rarepair Week Day 4 - Murder Spree - Hibari & ???

Try to open my right hand and have a look? You'll find a crimson sky. If you see it, will you be shocked? The crimson sky is so beautiful, yet you never know. (empurple by harumaki gohan)

base ref here

[bitchy-peachy]

That dumbass "pro Palestine" account harassing my friend via anon and told us "I hope you white women suffer under Trump" really made me wanna say:

VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS

VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS

VOTE KAMALA HARRIS

To the piece of shit sending stupid anons to people about my post, I care about your one issue as you much as you care about mine. 🥹😔

Anyways...

VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS

VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS

[1eos]

Prev anon, I WARNED YOU THE BOOK WOULD RAISE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE BECAUSE OH MY GOD THE GIRL LIVED AND DIED AS SAC OF DONATABLE PARTS! I READ IT AT 16 AND CRIED SO MUCH BECAUSE SHE JUST NEVER HAD A LIFE. SHE DIED THE MOMENT SHE GOT FREEDOM. THE WORST ENDING PLOT TWIST BUT OH MY GOD. (Also I’m a bish so I was hoping other sister would finally tap out and be like “I have VASTLY overstayed my welcome on this planet at the sake of my sisters health and wellbeing” which she technically was ready to do but she ended up having a long life???? . Also white privilege is that the brother never goes to jail).

when i got to the part where the dad is like 'he wants to be punished for being a serial arsonist so i'll do the worst thing to him--giving him a hug' i thought abt the ask u sent me earlier and thought thats what u meant bc that pissed me off bad BUT IT ONLY GOT SO MUCH WORSE. like it was ooooooooooooooooooooo weird the book did all that about that child having no autonomy or choice just to kill her off and her organs donated without her conscious consent. it was such a cop out. even if she went through all that decided ykw? i DO want to give a kidney that wouldve been a bit defanged on the whole autonomy from her parents BUT deeply realistic or hell even if the car crash happened and the sister said HELL NO i do not want this kidney im ready to go. like its so odd that in this specific narrative the sister is like im done suffering i feel like such a burden bad things keep happening to my family bc of me and then her sister dies and shes in the throes of agony but just takes the kidney.

im just kinda let down bc this book requires you to 1. fill in a lot of emotional blanks. like i can fill in the blanks and say the sister took the kidney despite being ready to die earlier bc she already felt like she had to live for her mother or it would be a waste of the sisters legacy. but it wasted so much time on that useless ass love story when it couldve been fleshing out the emotional ramifications of the ending

which leads to point 2. a LOT of the parents shortcomings are just glossed over? the parents emotional neglect 2 out of 3 kids and the 3rd feels like a black hole that's ruined everyone's lives with a disease that's beyond her control but its quite clear to me the author expects us to believe the fitzsgeralds are good ppl just 'doing their best'. like its sooooooooooooo white american early 00s middle class w no care for anyone but themselves it honestly makes me fucking sick. the mother especially like basically had a favorite child and lowkey resented the son for daring to want to be loved and was clear about how the youngest was expendable. and the book emphasizing on how much she mourned 😐ok but u got what u wanted lmaoooo. like im sorry idk where i was supposed to get the feeling that she loved all 3 of her kids at all 😭😭😭😭😭 and then the brother turning his life around all bc his father negated consequences for him AGAIN. not to be a cynic but ppl don't change just with a fucking hug lmaooooo he shouldve gotten 15-20 years. gotten out in 5-10 for good behavior, started a prison outreach program and THEN maybe i'll believe he's changed.

[teddybeartoji]

mickey !!! mickey !!!!! bonking my head against yours so gently <3333 i’m here with more selfship questions…… the train never stops

first of all!!! mickeyshoko…… i neeeed to know the Lore pls. ALSOOOO what are some ways you express your love for one another??? :3 since it’s not an established relationship exactly (from what i understand!!) i was also wondering how either of you would respond if someone asked if you were dating LMAO… i’m just imagining stsg making bets with each other over it. they’re silly.

AND THEN. mickzai. the kitties of all time. i’d love to know more abt the general dynamic!!! and how you got together!!!!! and also what petnames you call each other :3 bc i feel like dazai would be….. insufferable. genuinely. you need to muzzle him i think.

OK THAT’S ALL here r flowers for you 💐💐 i hope you’re having a cozy day so far!!! and that you’re resting lots and eating lots :3 ilyily <3

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARIIIII I'M GIGGLING SO BAD RNNNN

misho oh misho..... i still don't have a proper name for us (how ironic lmao)(it's almost like i don't really know what we are huh). anwayyy i like to show my love through acts of service!!!!!! she works so hard so i try to make her life a little easier yk? i spend a lot of time at her place (we're practicaly roomies at this point) and i like to make her coffee in the mornings!!!!!! and at night when she comes home after a long, tiring day i draw her a bath and i was her hair!!!!!!!!! she can just soak and relax while i sit on the edge of the tub and scratch her scalp i'm pretty sure i've heard her purr actually. she usually just peeks at me very lazily with the tiniest little smirks. mm she kinda makes me feel dizzy i won't even lie. she's so effortlessly charming in her own way you know? also to add to the "no lines to cross" thing - nudity is also just very normal. as in there's no shame and no embarrassment, i literally sometimes help to dry her off bc she likes to be a little dramatic and act even more tired (she IS actually that tired but she's trying to make a joke out of it).

and she shows it through physical touch!!!!! hugging from behind as i make the coffee, playing with my hair, sitting on my lap, hands on the waist, kisses on the corners of my lips (???????????????i'm so unwell). and then she always laughs at the little lipstick smudge before wiping it off. anyway all of those things could come off as very relationship-like right???? but no. we're friends. definitely just friends. we both want to dissect each other. as friends.

the dating thing!!!!!! what a good question lmao i think we'd just laugh it off really easily actually. i just go "hmmmm i don't know... are we?" and then we stare at each other and then she just squeezes my thigh with a smile????????????? nothing normal is happening here honestly i think even stsg are a little weirded out hahahshasha even they (by they i mean suguru bc satoru is genuinely stupid sometimes<3) can't figure us out

and not to make myself lose it even more but..... utahime.............. she's not safe from us either lmao. we both have pretty strong gazes i think and we simply can't keep our hands to ourselves. fleeting touches and keen eyes... we like to tease utahime a little. but only in a good FRIENDLY way. we love her she's sooooooo cute.

btw can you tell i'm typing this out just as it comes like the lore is just writing itself at this point. it also seems that i'm making mickeyshoko sound like some predators:333 like yea so what if we're kind of freaks ok it's fun don't judge. blood is cool. humans are cool. we just wanna learn more.

(=◑ᆽ◑=)ฅ(ටᆽට=) this is mizai hehehe. also yes. i rebranded. hehehehehhee anyway. two kitties!!!!!!! two dysfunctional kitties lmao

ok but mizai feels like a we-knew-each-other-when-we-were-kids-but-then-we-didn't-see-each-other-for-years-and-now-we-met-again-but-it's-not-weird-ok-it-is-but-only-a-litte-it's-just-that-the-surpressed-feelings-are-threatening-to-spill-and-that's-a-little-scary

and we have another No Label relationship on our hands fuuuuckk.... anywho. he's coping with this better than i am. no matter how much i shove him around and tease and joke, he flusters me way too easily. it's annoying. and i wanna hate it. but i can't bc it feels so good to link pinkies with him. he's super clingy - he's constantly resting his head on my shoulder, loosely wrapping his arms around my waist, tugging on my sleeves when he wants attention. he boops my nose and pretends to count my freckles.

the tender moments aside, this is still very much a partners-in-crime thing too!!!!!! and i mean that quite literally lmao. we both have authority issues so good luck to anyone who's trying to boss us around; we've definitely also done some schenanigans - stolen some things here and there bc why not, broken into places, trespassing etcetc. it's not even necessarily for the thrill of it, most of the times he's just showing me quiet places where we can just sit with each other. he likes to rest his head on my lap and then talk my ears off. sometimes he falls asleep and i refuse to wake him bc he needs the rest. i kiss his forehead and hope (me when i lie) that he didn't feel it (he did). but yeah the overall dynamic is pretty much just skk i won't even lie. bickering and teasing, petty fights over nothing just bc he likes to rile me up - it's all way too familiar.

he doesn't bring it up though bc he doesn't really know how. he wants more of it but he doesn't know how to ask for it. how to really ask for it. so he'll take whatever he can get and he'll try to push me to give him more because he's greedy!!!! and i will fold and i will, in fact, give him everything soon enough.

he fucking breaks into my apartment all the time btw. and when i offer to idk... give him a key he just goes "eeh, no need." ?????????? idk he's weird. (i like it when he comes over but i won't tell him that)(he'd be way too smug i can't allow that)

when i first got into bsd i didn't really like the bella nickname but honestly... it has grown on me. but yeah overall he uses literallllyyyy every possible nickname that pops into his head i kinda hate him (me when my pants are on fire)(yk bc.. liar liar pants on fire)(whatever). now that i'm thinking abt it i feel like another name he'd call me is just Kitty ????? not in a discord kitten kind of way though he just genuinely sees me as a cat. and he thinks it's funny. and cute (i like the name smhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

o wait i didn't even finish the meeting story. he disappeared into thin air at the ripe age of 15 hmmmmmm but he found his way back into my life three years later and then we were inseparable again yayy (there is definitely some angst hidden away in here lmaoo pls i'm scared of angst i don't wanna think abt it)(i wouldn't know how to ask about the missing years)(it sucks)

OKEEEEEEE THIS WAS A BIG RAMBLEEE I HOPE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING HEHEHEHEHE it really is so fucking fun to delve into these holy fucking shit. like i'm learning things abt myself too lmaoo

YAYAAA OKAY ARIIII THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS I LOVE YOU SOSOSO BAD I HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WELL AND I HOPE YOU SLEPT WELL AND I JUST NEED YOU TO BE WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR MORE ABT YOUR SELFSHIPS TOO I AM ALWAYS READY TO LEARN MORE!!!!! MWAH MWAH MWAH MY FAVOURITE LITTLE IRIS<33333333