#we’re like 5 people drawing for them

[bug-and-bone]

my reputation precedes me~

[seagull-scribbles]

☔️ It’s time to loose your self loathing, excuse yourself, let hope in ♥️

[amyispxnk]

Mi Niña Hermosa

Masterlist

Summary - Javier gets you pregnant, but then he gets scared, leaving you to raise your little girl all alone. One day, he sees you working at a brothel to try and make ends meet, and realises what he needs to do.

A/N: for this ask! i hope you like it pookie<3 also please excuse any bad spanish! i tried my best with it but it might not be 100% accurate.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word count: 2k

Warnings: mentions of sex work and sex, violence, language, pregnancy/children, arguing, brief suicidal ideation, hurt+comfort, angst, men being men

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

“Shh, shh, Carmen, mi amor. Está bien,” you plead with your baby daughter. She’s been up for the past hour because of yet another explosion a few blocks away. You think it was a car bomb this time, but does it really matter? All you know for sure is that Carmen is not going to let you sleep through the night because of it.

She’s almost 12 months old now, which means it's been almost 2 years since you last saw Javi. You hate yourself for it, but sometimes you look at your little girl and feel bitter. It’s not her fault, but she was the reason that Javi finally said goodbye to you.

You both knew it was a long time coming, but when you showed him a positive pregnancy test that night, you yelled at each other until your throats were raw and all your tears had been cried, before he slammed the door in your face and left you there. It was the final time you saw him.

Because of Carmen’s deadbeat father, you ended up in a brothel. It was one of the hardest decisions of your life, but you knew you had to do it for her.

“¡Muy bien chicas, salgan y ganen algo de dinero!” You want to jump out of this building, is your first thought. Crash all the way to the floor and forfeit this terrible life you’ve been ‘blessed with’. But you can’t. So you hold your head high, plaster on a smile, and walk out into the lobby of the brothel.

Your smile drops when you see him.

Of all the fucking brothels to go to, he chooses this one? The one you just so happened to start working at a week prior? That tenth-storey window looks even more tempting right now, especially when he locks eyes with you.

He’s with a man, blonde hair, blue eyes. You think that man’s name is Steve Murphy. Yes, you’ve seen them on the news. Who the fuck hasn’t? It just makes you even more frustrated. He left you and Carmen behind so that he could hunt down Pablo Escobar. He abandoned the two of you for fame.

Javi’s eyes dart back and forth between you and Steve, before he starts making his way towards you.

Hell to the fucking no. You turn on your heel and almost drag a man you noticed was ogling you for the past 5 minutes into one of the rooms, letting the curtains close behind you, separating you from Javi.

The time you share with that man is no different than any of the other men you’ve been with, all uncomfortable and gross for you, mind-blowingly good for him.

Sometimes you still think of Javi when you feel a man on top of you. He was the best you had, after all.

Outside, Javi curses loudly, drawing the eye of a few people and his partner.

“What the fuck was that, Javi? We’re here to question the girl, not chase after this random. Your dry spell that bad?” Steve laughs, clapping him on the back. Javi quickly shrugs him off, jaw clenched and gaze hollow.

“I know her.” He mutters. Yes, he knows you. He knows every part of you. Your smile, which he only saw on a rare occasion. Your eyes, which could always pierce him, see straight through his soul and see the worst parts of him. Your body, which you now sell because of him.

Steve is still yapping on about something or other whilst the storm inside of Javi swirls, growing and growing. You’re behind that curtain, selling your body. He knows why you’re doing it too, and it makes him feel even worse. He feels like he’s about to pass out as it all hits him at once.

What a piece of shit he’s been.

You don’t deserve this life. You deserve to be happy, supported and protected by someone, anyone who can help you. Not Javi though. He’s not fit to be a father. After what he’s seen, what he’s done, he could never care for something as precious as your baby.

But he knows what men are like. Knows that, somehow, he’s one of the better men in this country. It’s not a high bar to pass, this he knows too, but he figures that it must be why you have to work here to provide for yourself and his child. Fuck. He doesn’t even know the gender, the name. He wasn’t there for you at all, and he should have been.

It feels like there’s no going back though. How could he ever apologise enough or make it up to you? What he’s done is irreversible. Just from the way you reacted when you saw him now, it feels like it’ll be impossible to try to apologise to you.

He thinks of his father, his mother. How disappointed would they be? They probably already were, but with this? Abandoning a girl with a child he gave her?

They would surely disown him.

He feels like he’s been ungrateful too. After being raised by two loving and caring parents, how could he leave his own child without one? And with a life like this?

He runs a hand down his face, telling Steve to shut up. A loud shout from the man behind the curtain, surely finishing without giving you a moment of pleasure. He knows what you sound like when the sex is good. You barely made a peep in these past 5 minutes.

The man walks out, commenting on ‘how good that slut was’ as he walks past Javi and Steve, and it takes everything in him not to punch him square in the face there and then.

“I need to talk to her, Steve. 5 minutes.” Javi decides suddenly. He can’t let this go on.

“You better not be fucking on the job, Javi.”

He grunts in response, entering the room and letting the curtains slide closed behind him.

The entire world goes still, silent just for the two of you. Almost 2 years have gone by, and this is how you meet. The shame almost swallows him whole.

“I’m so sorry.” He says, before you can even register what’s happening, because he knows you’ll be ready to kick and scream to get him away from you when you do.

Unsurprisingly, your eyes well with tears, and your face twists into one of disgust.

“Why the fuck are you here.” You spit, holding your robe tighter around yourself.

“We were here for a job, and-”

“Do you think I actually care? You fucked off two years ago, I don’t want to see you back here now. Whatever it is you want, I don’t care.” You interrupt. Yes, this was going to be as difficult as he thought.

“Baby, please just-”

“Don’t fucking call me that! You don’t get to call me that!” You shout. He’s on borrowed time before somebody comes and escorts him out of here.

“Just listen to me, please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He pleads, desperate for you to listen. He doesn’t know how to get his message across to you.

Your tears burst forth, fat droplets cascading down your skin as you turn away from him.

“Go away, Javier. I don’t want to see your face ever again. I see it in her everyday and it already haunts me enough.”

His baby is a girl.

“I’m here to talk about her. I… I want to help. I’m so sorry for leaving. I got scared. I thought- I wasn’t ready to take care of something as precious as a baby… I thought you would get hurt if it was discovered that a DEA agent like myself had a child.”

“Yeah. Agente de la DEA, Javier fucking Peña,” you scoff, “who abandoned his child in pursuit of fame. To catch a bad guy. Some fucking hero you think you are.”

He can’t get angry with you. He won’t. However wrong you are about what you just said. He won’t do it.

“I don’t want fame.” He grits out. How much of an asshole is he that you thought he would leave you for fame? “I’m trying to help this country. It was dangerous enough for me to see you regularly, you know this. If I was seen with a woman and a child, they wouldn’t waste a second trying to kill you both. I couldn’t let that happen to you. I care about you. Please understand, baby.” He begs you again, hand carefully reaching for your shoulder and turning you to face him. You’re still sniffling, silent tears falling down your cheeks as you refuse to meet his gaze.

“Mírame.” He whispers, cupping your jaw and tilting your head up so he can see your eyes.

“Please, I’m sorry.” He says. He’ll say it thousands, millions of times, it still won’t be enough, but he can see that you’re starting to understand.

“It’s been 2 years. I had to be pregnant and raise her all by myself. Not once did you check on me.”

“I was scared. I was being a coward, I know. I… I won’t be surprised if you tell me to leave again, but let me help pay for her. I don’t want you working here. It’s dangerous.” He murmurs, eyes shining with emotion as he looks into yours.

You shake your head, and he gets ready to argue about it, but you pull him closer, squeezing the air out of him and shaking with sobs again.

“I’ve needed you for so long. I- I don’t know how I managed this long. I need you, Javi.” You choke out, his heart shattering with every word until it’s laid out on the floor for you.

“I know. I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.” He soothes, running his hand through your hair.

Over the next month, he helps you leave the brothel, gives you some money to get on your feet. You still live apart, despite his protests that you’d be safer living with him, you’re not ready yet.

Today you figure will be the decider of that. He’s going to meet Carmen.

You rub your eyes as the morning sun hits you, rousing you from your sleep. The clock reads 9:37. Just over 20 minutes until your daughter finally meets her father.

The 20 minutes are spent waking and feeding her, before a knock on the door stops you.

You exhale shakily and walk to the door, opening it slowly.

“Hola, Javi.” You say softly. He greets you, equally timid. You notice he’s holding a little teddy bear in his hands, almost making you laugh at how it looks being held by this big brooding man, but you just shake your head.

“Come and meet her.” You murmur, opening the door further so he can step inside.

There, messing around on your bed, is the most beautiful little girl he’s ever seen. He can definitely see his features on her face. The lips, the eyes. She got your nose, thankfully he thinks, and her hair is a unique blend of yours and Javi’s.

“She’s so beautiful.” He whispers, and you just nod, still unsure of your feelings for him right now.

“Carmen, baby, say hello.” You coo, picking her up and bringing her over to Javi. He’s quiet, scared, as always. But then she babbles at him, clapping her hands together and trying to reach for him. The teddy. He almost forgot about it.

“Hola pequeña, soy tu papá. ¿Quieres el peluche?” He says softly, waving it around a bit before handing it to her and letting her play. You and Javi talk for a bit while she sits on the bed, but then something happens. She gets tired, which is normal around 2pm, but instead of crawling to you, she goes to Javi. Carmen wraps her little fingers around one of his larger ones, curling up in his lap. The two of you still, and it shocks you to see tears appearing in his eyes as he strokes her hair, letting her sleep on him.

You decide to move in with him that night, realising that you don’t want him to be away from you and Carmen ever again.

TYSM for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! 💞

[rafeyscurtainbangs]

Mine - JJ Maybank One Shot

+18 Minor DNI Fluff & Angst

JJ x KookExGirlfriend!Reader

⭐️ republished ⭐️

+18 Minor DNI

🪄 warnings: language, name calling, child birth and it’s side effects.

📖 JJ’s ex is pregnant and the baby is his 💕

5k

Reader’s POV:

JJ has come by every day since the breakup, never at the same time. His beautiful blue eyes still find a way to catch mine. I iced him out completely, ghosting him only a few weeks after we made it official.

We had been pining after each other for years, rushing into everything when we finally got what we both wanted. We never once thought about playing it safe, fucking raw in the back of his Bronco that night, and every chance we got after that. We couldn’t get enough of each other… Every time we were alone, our hands were on each other, clothes thrown across the room, tangled up in sheets.

“Fuck that,” was the last thing I heard him mumble to John B before he and his friends disappeared for weeks. They talked about hooking up, girlfriends, and how the last thing they want to deal with is a pregnant one after John B. and Sarah had a scare of their own. ‘We’re too young. They’re too expensive. I’m not ready for that shit. Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me? There’s no way in hell’.

And here I stand.

Nine months and five days along, hiding it from him because, at this point, I’d instead go at it alone. I didn’t know where he went, and when he came back, something had happened. I could tell something was going on with him and Kiara. The longer I was away, the closer they got. He seemed happier with her. I can do this myself… even though I don’t want that. Not at all.

He still calls me from time to time. Usually late at night when I’m already asleep. JJ doesn’t always leave a message, but when he does, it’s a jumbled mess of drunken words.

I’ve shut out all my friends. The only people that know are my parents and the little old lady next door. They think it’s some random tourists. My parents kicked me out on my ass after I decided to keep the baby. 'You think you’re so grown? You think you can handle this pinching pennies? What kind of life is that?’ They gave me up that day. 'If you want to act like trash, you can live like trash.’

But who’s the actual trash here?

As much as I wanted to return to my simple life, I couldn’t do it; I couldn’t bring myself to get the abortion they were more than willing to pay for. I went from a Kook to a Pogue in a matter of seconds. And, at my twenty-week appointment, when I saw that little boy in my tummy, I knew I made the right choice.

I snagged an office job pretty fast: a beautiful spot, a real-estate agency close to the beach. The clientele is great, Pogues with just enough money to hire someone to sell their little shacks instead of doing it themselves. Work, community college, sleep, rinse, and repeat. I’ve saved enough to buy a crib and some basics… Stopping by the thrift store just off Figure 8 to nab some Kook’s hand-me-downs. I want to give this little boy the life he deserves… I want to prove my parents wrong.

I’m sure they’ll have a change of heart after the baby is born, rushing to plunge that silver spoon straight into his mouth and 'save him from all this.’ But, come to find out, this life saved me. An existence under their thumb is not where I wanted to be. I don’t want to raise a Kook. I want to raise a Pogue. I just wish I knew what I was doing. I really wish I had Jayj.

You look out the large front window, watching as he passes by, surfboard looped under his arm as he steps toward beach access. His eyes drift your way, turning ahead before he disappears again. Shit. You look down at your stomach, watching the baby turn, your round tummy rolling with the baby’s movements.

Like clockwork, you’re hit with a braxton hicks contraction. Your belly squeezes taunt, breathing strained, causing you to draw little breaths, blowing them slow. You look up at the wall, watching the clock strike 5. Yes. Grabbing the armrest, you struggle to stand, pressing yourself up. You waddle toward the door, turning the open sign to close before nabbing your keys.

The warm summer air kisses your skin as you pass through the door; the sunset paints the sky in the west. Fuck. Your stomach contracts again, a contraction so intense you have to grab the brick wall for support, eyes screwing shut as you breathe through it again. “Hey…” Your heart sinks, eyes flashing open as you meet JJ’s wide gaze.

“Hi,” you force the word through tight lips, still clutching the wall.

“Are you okay?” He asks gently. JJ’s stare falls down your body, landing on your bump, your hand cradling the bottom out of sheer practice.

“M'fine,” you whimper as you turn quickly, clipping toward your shitty little car before he can ask anymore, tears brimming in your eyes.

JJ’s POV:

I watch her car slow-roll over the speed bump, steering through the parking lot into her tiny carport. My muscles are tense; emotion pooled in my eyes as I watch her battle to get out of her car. I know she’s pregnant. I didn’t ask. It was the first thing I wanted to blurt out. Even though my dad’s a grade-A asshole, he still taught me that shit ain’t polite. I just didn’t think she would disappear that fast. She grabs the handrail, heading up the steps, pulling open the apartment door before falling out of sight.

Everything was fine until I left… And, when I came back, she was gone. She fuckin’ vanished, dropping me for no one, from what I’ve seen, at least. She’s shut herself in completely, never coming out.

I couldn’t help but check on her every chance I got. Make sure she’s okay. I should have known something was off. Her family’s loaded. There’s no reason that Kook Princess should be hanging out around here. She should be off at some fancy-ass college, living the dream. The second I saw her in that office, red flags should have been waving left and right, but they didn’t.

She didn’t want to talk. I could tell… The look in her eye was enough to let me know to stay the hell away. That, paired with the fact that she never called me back. Most of the time I wasted… I can’t lie. It was probably for the best. But she saw my number and chose to ignore it; decided to leave it unanswered. Somethin’s goin’ on… Maybe she’s gotta new boyfriend. There’s no reason why she’d be here otherwise… Unless there’s more to the story. 

Maybe all this is 'cause I told her I loved her. I don’t know, but that’s the last thing I said before I left. And I still feel it. I still love that woman. Maybe she wasn’t ready. Maybe she was ready, and I left, and she started to second guess everything. I mean, how could she not? I vanished, then she did… Can I really fault her for doing the same exact shit?

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

My body jumps, chills running down my spine as headlights flood my rearview mirror. Goddamnit. I’ve gotta make a decision, in or out; am I gonna do this or not? I stomp on the gas, speeding ahead, barreling away as my tears break free.

She was a good girl before she met me. I wasn’t a virgin, but she was. She gave that to me. I don’t think she was sleeping around with anyone else.

That baby’s mine. I know it.

Reader’s POV:

DING.

You drag your body over to the microwave, snagging your TV dinner. The apartment is quiet, just the lull of the evening news playing in the background. Plopping down on the weathered couch, you snag the remote, flicking through the channels aimlessly until you find your comfort show, snuggling in a little more as you swirl your spaghetti on your fork.  

Grabbing the remote, you turn it a little louder, trying your best to drown out the thoughts raging in your head. The interaction with Jayj, the horror in his eyes, the way you left, fleeing the scene altogether. I miss him. Every part of him. God, he is so fucking beautiful. Those goddamn eyes, and that perfect face, his voice. I - DRIP. DRIP.

You look between your thighs, a wet spot gathering on your sweatpants, dribbling onto the floor below. You pinch the bridge of your nose, expiring a frustrated breath. As if this day wasn’t mortifying enough, let me add pisses your pants to the list… You close your eyes softly as a tinge of nausea sets in as well.

Maybe if I take a shower, I’ll feel better… You rise to your feet, liquid continuing to trickle its way down your leg.

Shit…

Is this it? It wouldn’t be far-fetched. I’m past my due date. Did my water just break? You feel your bottom lip wobble, muscles stiffening as you face reality that that might be the case.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

Fuck. You look down at your soaked pants. I don’t want anyone seeing me like this.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

“One sec, Dot,” you call out for your neighbor.

“Umm… Hey. I-It’s JJ,” you hear his muffled voice behind the closed door. Everything stops; your body, frozen as you watch him through the little kitchen window, just a crack of sight through your curtain. No. You shuffle toward the bathroom, clutching your stomach, a new sensation of emptiness you hadn’t felt before.

“Ow… Ow… Oh my god,” you gasp, holding the bottom of your stomach. “It’s fucking happening… No. Fuck!” You scream, another contraction rocking you. The soft knocking turns into a loud bang. “Let me in, y/n. P-Please. Are you okay? What’s going on? Talk to me, sweetheart.”

You grip the doorframe tightly, trying to center yourself, to no avail. The room starts to spin around you, stomach churning, mouth salivating. Am I going to throw up? Why am I gonna throw up? You trip slightly on the rug, falling to your knees, crawling the rest of the way toward the toilet.

“Y/n?” JJ yells as he frantically fiddles with the doorknob, knocking at the glass trying to open that as well.

“Ja-” You go to answer, letting out a cough instead, emptying your stomach into the bowl. Then you hear it: metal on metal as the doorknob twists.

“Y/n?” JJ stutters, his boots bounding toward the bathroom. “Are you okay? Are you sick?”

“Yeah,” you cry as you see a look of sheer panic in his eyes. “Why are you here?” You whisper.

“I-I… Umm… I don’t know?” He spurts as he moves a little closer. “Do you want me to c-call your parents?”

“No!” You shout. “Don’t. Please. I don’t want them here,” you yell. JJ’s eyes open wider.

“I’m sorry…”

“No, Jayj. Don’t apologize.”

He kneels close, rubbing your back softly. “Did you need me to clean up out there for you? Do you want me to get you a new pair of pants? Or maybe a glass of water? A rag? You want a rag? Yeah?” You throw up in the toilet again, causing JJ to release a sympathetic gag.

“Jayj… you can’t do that,” you groan.

“I’m sorry. M'sorry, y/n,” he sighs, trying to compose himself. “Here.” He grabs a scrunchie off the counter, gathering your hair in a ponytail.

“Thank you.” You grip the toilet tightly, trying your best to calm down, but it’s simply momentary. “Fuck,” you howl, your pain wrapping around your back to your front.

“Y/n, s-shit,” JJ whimpers, dropping his head in his hand. His own personal panic setting in. “Are you - fuck,” JJ tries to speak, but the words aren’t easy. “Are you pregnant?”

“Is that not clear, Jayj,” you cry. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

“What?”

“I have to go to the bathroom, JJ!” You scream, voice bouncing off the walls as you feel pressure building between your thighs.

“O-Okay. Of course. Do you need help standing?”

“Will you get me a bucket first?” JJ nods at you rapidly. You let out a loud cry, whole body pain, indescribable hurt. “Fuck!” You scream.

“Should I call 9-1-1?”

“The bucket, JJ. Please!”

“Okay. Alright. Sorry. S-Sorry!” he panics, running out of the bathroom. You hear him bang around in the kitchen, talking himself into a frenzy.

“Grab anything, JJ! Please!”

“I’m sorry!”

“Jesus Christ. It’s fucking hot in here.” You rip off your shirt, tossing it to the side.

“This! Okay… This will work,” he cheers breathlessly, running back into the bathroom with a pot. You quickly tug your pants down, taking a seat on the toilet. You draw the pot under your chin, breathing deeply.

“Fuck… this feels so much better.” You moan, feeling slight relief in this new position. A new heat rises in your cheeks, humiliation brewing as you feel the weight of JJ’s gaze on you. The last night he saw me, I was in a paisley sundress, his arms around me, lips locked on mine. I felt beautiful. JJ always made me feel that way. He told me he loved me. That girl. Not this one. I can’t believe he’s seeing me this way: tummy round, naked, sweaty, sick, and in pain. All I can do is cry.

JJ walks over, kneeling before you as his beautiful blue eyes search for yours. “Y/n, we gotta get you to the hospital. Okay?” His voice is gentle and calm. JJ tucks some sweaty strands of hair behind your ear as you match his watch. You can see his eyes getting glassy; he’s also completely and utterly overwhelmed, still trying to stay calm for you.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” you mewl.

“Hey, s'okay. You’re gonna be alright. We just gotta go, baby.”

Baby. The guilt hits you next, hard and fast. How would I feel if roles were reserved? How would I feel if this secret was kept from me?

“JJ… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

JJ swallows thickly; the tears pooled in his beautiful blue eyes break free as he looks back at you. “The baby’s mine?” He fights the words past his lips.“This is amazing… I just - I. Fuck. It’s okay, honey. But, why - Why wouldn’t you just tell me, y/n?" He whispers, his voice hoarse and broken with emotion.

"I didn’t want to ruin your life, Jayj. We had just started dating-”

“Ruin my life? Why would this ruin my life?” He cuts you off in disbelief. Your muscles tighten, a sharp pain radiating as you try to remain in the moment with him. You can see his face change with yours, seeing the pain in your eyes. “Let’s go. Let’s get you to the hospital,” he whispers as he rests one hand on your cheek, the other set lightly on your tummy.

“I can’t move, J,” you whimper.

“I can carry you. Okay? The hospital is only five minutes away. I can get you there in three. Fanciest driver in The Cut. You know that. Yeah? We’ll be there in a heartbeat. Everything’ll be fine. We’re okay. Okay?” He sniffles, lifting the neck of his white tee shirt to wipe the emotion out of his eyes. “Let me get you some clothes, sweetheart.” You nod in reply, gripping the counter tightly as you battle through the pain of another contraction.

JJ races back into the bathroom as fast as he came out, handling you carefully as he tugs on your oversized t-shirt and shorts. He guides you to your feet, helping you into your Converse sneakers, tying them tight before lifting you into his arms. You clutch onto him as you ride out another contraction, burying yourself in the crook of his neck. Your tears wet his shirt as he walks with you toward the door, stepping out into the night. “You’re okay, baby. You’re alright," he soothes, kissing you gently on the temple.

JJ tugs open the door of the Bronco, setting you inside before sprinting around the front. JJ flicks the keys, making the engine roar. He throws it in reverse, peeling out of the parking lot before skirting onto the main street, making you clutch the grab rails for support. "Shit. Sorry, princess,” JJ winces as he sees the fright in your eyes. He thrusts his hand into his pocket, thumbing through his cell phone as he dodges through traffic.

You can see the tears still sparkling in his stare; JJ’s jaw coiled tight as he listens to the ringing on the other end of the line. He’s terrified, just like you, his phone trembling in his hand. “Hi. Uhh… Shit. My girlfriend and I are on our way in. She - she’s…”

“In labor,” you whisper, helping him along.

“She’s in labor. We’re about two minutes away. Uh… Umm, let me ask,” he breathes, eyes snapping your way. “How far apart are they? Have you been timing them?”

“Timing what?” You ask sheepishly, watching as JJ’s eyes lighten on yours.

“Your contractions, baby.”

“I don’t know,” you whimper, cheeks hot with shame again, your ignorance on display. He probably thinks I’m an idiot. I should know this. Why don’t I know this?“

"S'okay," he whispers. JJ looks down at the dash, eyeing the little clock.

"Fuck, Jayj,” you sob, the pressure of another contraction setting in.

“Shit. Sorry - sorry, I’m here. Umm… Like four minutes tops? Yeah. Mhmm… She’s close,” he whispers, making your heart skip a beat. “Yeah. Yeah - The front. We’ll meet you out there.” You try your best to keep your eyes open, vision blurry as you see the hospital sign glowing like a beacon in the night. JJ stuffs his phone back in his pocket, reaching for your hand instantly, weaving his finger in yours before drawing them up to his lips. He kisses your hand, lingering on your skin, hiding his quivering lips.

“Motherfucker!” You scream, driving your heels into the floor of the SUV; yet another contraction barrelling through your body as you pull up to the curb. JJ grits his teeth as you squeeze his hand tight, surely drawing blood.

JJ’s POV:

“Take a deep breath for me, y/n,” the nurse aids. Y/n’s eyes slam shut, her beautiful face scrunching in discomfort as the nurse checks her further. “Okay… 10 centimeters,” she says calmly. “I see some hair.” Y/n’s eyes remain shut in fear as she nods her head frantically. Her little hand squeezes mine again; the only relief she can get this far along. I can’t believe she almost did this alone - all by herself. What if she couldn’t have made it to the phone? 

Why can’t she call her parents? Why is she alone in the first place? Why wouldn’t she just tell me? I feel my thoughts start to race with the beating of my heart. “Y/n,” I whisper. Her gaze matches mine, sending me into a spiral as I see the speckles of red against the whites of her eyes, popped blood vessels, and tears pooled in the corners. Heat rises behind my eyes again as I swallow the lump in my throat. “You’re doing so good, y/n.”

“M'not,” she hiccups, hand clutching her little bucket as she waits for her tummy to turn again. “I let you down, Jayj. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m scared. M'not fucking ready-”

“Y-You’re ready,” I stammer; the stutter in my voice deceives me, but I mean every word. “You didn’t let me down. I went into your room, y/n. I saw the crib, all the clothes you have hung in your closet, the baby book with all the Post-it notes sticking out. You’re ready. 'Course you’re scared…” My voice fades to a hush as she tucks herself in my neck. I’m instantly struck with Deja Vu, thrown back into the night that changed everything. The last night she was mine… I clear my throat, beating my lashes shut.

“The baby’s a boy, Jayj,” she whispers gently.

“Yeah?” I ask happily as I choke back tears, feeling her nod against my shoulder.

“M'sorry, Jayj. I-” Y/n fleeting words turn into a wail, nails digging into my forearm.

“Please don’t apologize, y/n,” I soothe, kissing her head. “You’re so strong, baby girl,” I whisper in her ear, feeling her muscles contract.

“We’re going to need you to start pushing, y/n.”

“I can’t,” she whimpers.

“You can, baby. You can.”

“You know how you feel like you need to go to the bathroom? Push like that. Okay?” Y/n shakes her head no.

“You’ve got to, baby. A'ight? You’re amazing, y/n,” I breathe, moving closer. She presses her forehead against mine, gritting her teeth. “You’re safe. Okay? You’re safe.” Y/n presses her quivering lips against mine, taking my breath away. Those lips… Holy shit. My hand wraps around the back of her neck, drawing her even closer. “I missed you," I whisper shakily. 

"I missed you too, JJ,” she echoes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, Jayj,” she whimpers.

“M'not goin’ anywhere. M'not leavin’ you. Okay?”

“Okay,” she sobs.

“Y/n?” The nurse calls. “What’s your pain level when you have a contraction?”

“10,” she soughs.

“You’re going to have a contraction in a few seconds. We’re going to need you to push hard. When you feel it coming on, take some deep breaths. When you hit 10, push. Okay? JJ, we will need you to count to ten for her. Y/n, we want you to push all 10 seconds.” I can see the shift in her face; her pain, increasing. Her grip on my hand gets tighter. Y/n’s eyes shift to mine, giving me a nod.

“10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…”

“F-Fuck!” She screams, her eyes slam shut as her body trembles in pain. “S'not working,” she snivels.

“It’s working. You’re doing a great job. Just a few more pushes,” the doctor assures. “This next one might be it, but you’ll have to push really hard.”

“Did you hear that, baby?” I breathe, my lips resting on her forehead. “You’re doing so good.”

“You’re doing a great job, Y/n,” the nurse whispers. Y/n’s eyes flutter shut, wincing in pain, tears streaming down her cheeks. She doesn’t believe a word of it.

“10… 9… 8… 7… 6…”

“Ow… Ow… No. It burns,” she wails. The words catch my throat as I push back tears.

“We have him. Keep pushing.”

“5… 4… 3… 2… 1…”

She lets out a guttural scream; the doctor catches a baby, drawing him out. “Oh my god,” I breathe.

“Oh… H-Holy shit,” she whimpers. “Is the baby okay? Is he breathing?” I hear the baby’s high-pitched cry. A wave of relief crashes over me. Y/n dissolves in my arms as we look out for our little boy. 

This was the last thing I expected, the furthest thing from my mind when I woke up this morning. But, now, here I am. Here he is. Here she is, my beautiful fucking girl. We made him… He’s ours.

“I’m so glad you came, Jayj,” she cries.

“Me too, baby. Holy shit.” I grab a towel from the nurse, blotting the tears and sweat from Y/n’s face. “You did so well, y/n. Fuck. You okay, honey?” I mumble before meeting her lips.

“M'okay." God, I can’t stop. I kiss her deeper, making y/n smile against my lips. "I missed you,” she whispers.

“I missed you. Fuck, I missed you so damn much,” I sigh.

“You’re going to be such a good dad-”

“You’re going to be such a good mom. The best mom. The baby’s so lucky to have you as a mom,” I babble, kissing her forehead and cupping her dewy cheek. I hold y/n tightly, watching the nurse cradle the baby in her arms. She sets him on the towel, cutting and clamping the umbilical cord.

She walks over, resting the baby on Y/n’s chest, and in that moment, I feel a shift. Everything seems a little clearer: her, him, and they’re both mine. My heart feels like it could fucking burst as I look at him in her arms. He’s so tiny, so small and fragile. I just want to keep him safe.

Y/n’s lips rest on his tiny head, a pink and blue striped bonnet covering a mess of blonde hair, just like mine. “Jayj,” she whispers, extending him to me. I draw the baby close, blinking, my tears gone. He’s so peaceful; his eyes shut tight. I can feel the warmth of his little breaths against my skin.

“Wow,” I sigh, looking up at the ceiling as tears fall. Y/n rests her head on my shoulder. We’re okay. Everything’s okay.

“You look beautiful,” I breathe.

“You’re a liar, JJ Maybank.” Her nose scrunches, eyes rolling away. Fuck. I missed her.

“I’m not. I promise.”

“You’re never going to want to have sex with me again,” she chuckles through a sigh, hands resting on her once-rounded tummy. 

“You jokin’?” I scoff. “Been dreamin’ about that for the last, what, nine months now? S'the first thing we’re gonna do when we get outta here.” Y/n chuckles as she raises an eyebrow, making me double back.

“6 weeks, Jayj,” she whispers as her flushed cheeks blush even more.

“No…” I gasps. “You sure? I thought you said you didn’t know what you were doin’, princess. Gonna need to fact-check that shit.” I give her a taunting look, making her roll her. “M'just kiddin’, sweetness.” Taking out my phone, I flick to the calendar, checking the dates. “The 24th, baby girl.” Y/n lets out a sleepy little laugh, tucking herself in my arms again.

“Babysitter?”

“Mhmm… Whoever you want,” I soothe.

“Sarah and Pope.”

“Ah, Cameron and Heyward. Couldn’t agree more, baby.” She snuggles in a little closer, her eyes on the little bassinet, watching the baby sleep. “So…” I sigh as I take a deep breath.

“You wanna know why I’m officially a Pogue, Jayj?” She asks weakly.

“Yeah… I’ve got a few questions, princess. That’s a good start,” I mumble, resting my lips against her temple. She takes a deep breath, expelling a laborious sigh.

“Umm… Well, my parents didn’t want me to have the baby-”

“Stop,” you whisper, shaking your head 'no.’ “I think I know where you’re goin’ with this, and I can’t hear it. Alright? I don’t want you to say it either. Please.” Y/n bites her cheek. “I’m so fucking sorry - m'so, so sorry.” I cup her cheek, kissing her lips. “You got me… You got all my friends - you’re friends. This baby will be so loved, y/n. I swear.”

“Okay, Jayj.”

“Thank you for not doin’ that, baby. I just - I can’t even imagine that now,” I breathe, feeling my throat tighten as I watch his little chest rise and fall.

“It was never an option, Jayj,” she whispers.

“Why didn’t you tell me, y/n? Why did you think it would ruin my life? Why did you break up with me-”

“JJ,” she breathes as she rests her hand on my chest, grounding me again. “That was a huge fucking mistake. I’m so sorry. We had just started dating, and then you left. And, right before you left-”

“I was talking to John B about what a nightmare this shit would be…” I cut her short, dropping my head, nodding as I put the pieces together.

“When you came back, Jayj, I didn’t know what to do. And, I saw you with Kie, and you looked like the two of you had somethin’ goin’ on. Between that and my parents, I felt it would be easier for everyone if I went at it alone.”

“Kie is just a friend. Alright? She always has been. And life isn’t easy, y/n,” I whisper. “You know that just as well as me. Doesn’t mean that the hard isn’t worth going through. I swear I will be here for you both if you’ll let me.”

“Really?” Y/n asks shakily.

“Please, y/n.”

“I need you, J. I want you in my life,” she whispers, an unease in her tone like you may say anything but the apparent 'yes.’

“I need you too, princess.”

“I wasn’t lying to you, Jayj. I don’t know what I’m doing,” she warns. “I have read books, sure, but if today showed me anything, it let me know I’m not fucking ready.”

“S'not true, honey. I’ve seen you with him already, and you’re a natural. We’ll figure this whole parenting thing out together,” I smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, Jayj.”

The lights are low; the sky is dark, only the glow of the television casting light in the room. Drawing back the blankets, I climb inside, pulling her back into my chest. I focus on the sound of her breathing, the way she fits in my arms, just like I remembered, just like I dreamt about. Her soft, supple skin and the sweetness of her perfume surrounds me.

There’s a soft knock on the door. “Come in,” she calls. A hospital worker walks in with a bouquet. Y/n smiles brightly, setting them down on the counter. Reaching over, I snag the card from the top and pass it to her; a little smile stretches on her lips from the sweet gesture alone. “To our newest little Pogue. Welcome to the family, baby boy. Love, Aunt Sarah, Uncle John B, Aunt Kiara, and Uncle Pope.”

Y/n reaches up, brushing the tears from her eyes as I do the same. “Your friends are pretty special, Jayj,” she whispers.

“Our friends, baby,” I smile. “They’re gonna be so happy to have you around again.”

She smiles and nods before tucking the little note back into the bouquet. Tonight was horrifying… a stark contrast to this moment. The woman I love is no longer in tears, no longer in agony, no longer scared. She’s my light… My safe place.

“What were you gonna name him, y/n? I’m sure you already have something in mind.”

“Jaxon James.”

“JJ?” I hum happily as I pull her in tight. Her sparkling eyes match mine, a blissful smile setting in her perfect lips.

“He looks just like you, Jayj; your nose, your hair, your eyes,” she sighs dreamily. “He’s perfect.”

“He’s so damn cute. Oh my god,” I whisper; catching a glimpse of his round cheeks and pouty lips.

“Can he have your last name, Jayj?”

“Oh wow,” I breathe, her question alone conjuring up yet another round of tears. I flutter my lashes, doing my best to keep it together. “Of course, baby. Thank you. That means a lot to me… You mean a lot to me,” I whisper.

“You two mean everything to me, Jayj.”

I hold her cheek in my hand, brushing her buttery-soft skin with my rough thumb. “We’ll start with him, then you, of course. When the time’s right.”

“Yeah, Jayj?” She whimpers through tears.

“I never stopped lovin’ you, y/n. Of course, I wanna be with you forever. Let’s start with the first step. Huh? Will you be my girlfriend, y/n?”

She grabs my face, lips crashing into mine as her body language alone screams 'yes’. My hands fall down her body; the familiarity of her in my arms feels just like home.

“Of course, Jayj.”

“6 weeks. Huh?” I tease, peppering kisses on her beautiful face through a gravelly laugh as she giggles and smiles.

“I love you, JJ.”

“I love you too, baby.”

[esggs]

“It’s just… it’s been 16 years since…” Yuuji finds it difficult to put it into words.. “... since he last saw Divine Dog White…” 

[when your kids inherit the Ten Shadows, Megumi Fushiguro gets to meet a long lost fluffy friend again]

[1.5k words   |   fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, post-canon   |   part of Obeisance to The Arrow universe]

“Hito, Kiko, don’t.” Noritoshi glares at the twins who have been caught red handed trying to ride atop the pair of dogs. In fact, it’s the 4th time they’ve been caught. They refuse to stop trying. “Just sit, okay? Just sit down for a bit. Let dad make his call.”

Noritoshi Kamo is tired. Truly, soulfully, tired. His day began at 5 am today, because you had to go to work earlier than usual, and are still not back yet. Handling 4 kids and their own separate timetables all day, while working as a teacher for Jujutsu High… at 34, he’s not old, but goddamn does his body ache like it is. And now, when he was looking forward to putting the kids to bed and waiting for you to come back and uncork this good vintage and maybe wear that nice lingerie you bought last week and be asleep by 10 pm, when tonight was supposed to go like all other nights, he’s got a huge fucking emergency on his hands. Not that he can show it, of course, in front of the kids. 

“C’mon, pick up, pick up. Asahito! I swear, if I see you– Tsukiko! Tsukiko, hands where I can see them! Good, okay, now sit down and count till 100.” Noritoshi is doing his level best to maintain any semblance of calmness. It isn’t working. Naomi and Chihiro, the older two kids, are terrified. Their usually monk-calm dad is frantically calling people, while his Flowing Red Scale is on, as are two discs of Slicing Exorcisms, ready to strike at the slightest provocation. Not at them, of course, but still. The twins, Hito and Kiko, are too young to realise the gravity of the situation. 

Click. Finally.

“Hey Noritoshi, it’s me, Yuuji. Megumi’s driving right now.”

“Yuuji!” Damn, Yuuji thinks, the man seems out of breath. “Give the phone to Megumi, quick.”

‘But he’s driving, we were playing basketball and now we’re coming ba–”

“Put it on speaker then! Yuuji, it’s urgent.”

“Huh? Wait.” Yuuji puts him on speakerphone and gasps. “Oh my God, is y/n pregnant again?”

“What?” 

“Damn, that’s your fifth one.” Yuuji chuckles. “You must really like being a dad.” 

“It’s not–”

“Five is a lot though –”

“MEGUMI!” Noritoshi shouts out. “Are you there?”

“Yeah” Megumi leans towards the phone that Yuuji is holding out. “Congrats, Noritoshi.”

“Oh, Megumi, thank God.” Noritoshi’s voice is palpably more stable. “y/n isn’t pregnant. The twins’ cursed technique showed up, about 5 minutes ago. Megumi, they have the Ten Shadows.”

Megumi almost crashes the car.

—------- 

“Noritoshi, love, I’m here!” You’ve run all the way from the parked car to your drawing room. It’s bursting with people: Noritoshi (battle-ready), Naomi and Chihiro (hiding behind their dad), Yuuji (fascinated), Megumi (teaching the twins to release the large black dog that’s running amok amid your fragile china-display and Edo era vases), and your little twins (actually listening to their uncle, surprisingly). 

“Mom!” “y/n!” “Honey!” 

Half an hour ago, you had been working on a new telecom venture when your assistant rushed in, claiming an urgent call from your husband: “Love, it’s the twins, Hito and Kiko- cursed technique- unstable control- dinner- Ten Shadows!” It takes a while for you to piece together the information, but when you do, you turn pale as death. 

The twins inherited the Ten Shadows? Together? They share one cursed technique? They share the fucking Ten Shadows?

—------- 

The black divine dog was sent back, thanks to Uncle Megumi Fushiguro. “The other one was already gone when we got here.” Megumi says, leaning back as everyone sits in peace around the low tea-table on the ground. Yuuji is playing cards with the boys, Tsukiko sits in Megumi’s lap, steadily stealing extra cookies from the table, and Naomi is quietly talking to her dad. “They summoned the Divine Dogs by accident, don’t punish them for it, okay?”

“I know.” Noritoshi sighs. “I didn’t even know two Ten Shadows users could exist at the same time.”

“It’s very rare.” Megumi replies. “But rare things are common nowadays.” Since the Culling Games. Since it all got messed up. 16 years ago. 

“It’s so dangerous for a 6 year old to have the power to accidentally summon Mahoraga. Megumi-chan, what did you do at that age?” You still haven’t kicked the habit of calling him Megumi-chan, even though he grumbles about it a lot, especially since the twins are starting to call him that too.

“Well, I had Gojo-sensei to show me the basics, and then I figured it out myself. But I was a very different 6 year old than Hito and Kiko.” He looks down at Tsukiko who’s trying to hide her growing bundle of cookie-loot. “Maybe it’d be safer if I stay with the kids for a bit…”

The kids are delighted to hear this, of course, Uncle Megumi who lets them get away with anything, and buys them whatever they want, he’s their favourite. (Uncle Yuuji is very hurt by this proclamation).

“Yeah, that’d be great, Megumi-chan. Thanks.” You yawn. 

“Say, Hito, Kiko!” Yuuji says. “You called both the dogs? Can you call them again?”

“Now, Itadori?” Noritoshi is still wary. When he first saw the dogs, he almost killed them on the spot, thinking that someone had sent them there to hurt his kids. It had taken a second for light to enter his head: Ah, these are my children’s shikigami. They inherited the Ten Shadows…. Oh my God- my kids inherited the Ten Shadows. “Take the yard outside then, not in here.”

Except for Megumi and the twins, who are working on calling the dogs in the middle of the yard, all of you stand in the veranda. Noritoshi’s Flowing Red Scale is on, ready, just in case.

“It’s just… it’s been 16 years since…” Yuuji finds it difficult to put it into words.. “... since he last saw Divine Dog White… back at the detention center....” 

The shadows under the twins have definitely started to hollow out choppily. Megumi shouts out words of encouragement, telling them to “steady, keep steady!”, while you can tell that Noritoshi is growing more agitated by the second. The volatile control over their shared cursed technique seems to shift between the twins randomly. The shadows underneath, like turbulent sea-water, split.

Megumi Fushiguro is no stranger to loss. It’s a fact of his life. He hardened his heart to this a long time ago, he's bid his good-byes properly in private. He’s done his due mourning when Divine Dog White died over a decade and a half ago. 

Why does his throat feel tighter? Hito and Kiko are making the huge dogs shake hands with a delighted Yuuji. Why does he remember the damp walls of that old apartment, where his dad left him and Tsumiki? Why does he remember Tsumiki’s laugh when the white dog, invisible to her, tripped her as she walked? Those snowy walks with Gojo-sensei, when he brought all three of them mochi, and an extra one for the dog? Those tired midnights in Jujutsu High when the dog curled around him in his sleep? Nobara and Yuuji, back in their teenage years, begging him to summon his precious dog? Nobara who still remains 16 in his memories. Gojo-sensei. Tsumiki. The White Dog. 

If anyone notices a tear stuck in Megumi’s lashes, they don’t mention it. They let him sit on the grass, keeping watch. The overprotective parents have loosened up, allowing Naomi and Chihiro to pet the dogs too. It’s nice, he thinks, everyone getting to enjoy a night like this. It doesn’t come by often. These small moments like playing with the dogs, eating meals together, hanging clothes to dry, taking walks in the setting sun, these are privileges they've earned with blood. Families, especially happy ones, are rare; Megumi’s proud that you and Noritoshi have managed to create one. As for him, he’s content sitting on grass and watching. 

“Megumi-chan, come play!” Tsukiko beckons him. “Shiro, go jump on him.”

“Shiro, no–” But these aren't Megumi’s shikigami, they don’t listen to a word he says. He’s immediately tackled on the soft ground by the weight of the white furball, who’s wagging his tail and licking him all over, as excited as the kids to be summoned. They even smell the same, Megumi remembers. Still, mine had softer fur. 

Naomi valiantly comes to his rescue. Noritoshi offers him some tea before bed. Him and Yuuji are staying the night, you’ve declared, and keeping watch over the twins. Despite all the loss he’s endured his whole nightmare of a life, at the end of the day, there’s still a family he’s part of. There’s still hope, there’s still love, there’s still soft white dogs. 

—------- 

The battle is over: all 4 kids have been put to bed. Yuuji whistles softly, complaining that Hito wheedled five stories and three lullabies out of him. That reminds him: “y/n, you know when Noritoshi called us, he seemed so stressed, I thought that you were pre-” but Noritoshi whacks him on the head before he gets to finish. Megumi isn’t done entertaining the twins yet. 

a/n: timeline wise, this work is set faaar in the future, when the Kamos have returned to and established themselves in Japan. Regardless of the merger, the amount of cursed energy cultivated from the Culling Games have GOT to have fucked up effects on the kids born afterwards, like the remains of nuclear bombs. Naomi is the oldest kid at 13, Chihiro is 10 and the twins are both 6. reader would be 30, noritoshi 34, yuuji 32, and megumi 31. if it was unclear, Asahito and Tsukiko are nicknamed Hito & Kiko

[comingyourlugubriousness]

"Oh geez I'm so clumsy; how embarrassing! Huh, oh! You'll help me up? T-thank you!"

A BELLE OF DA BALL Yume for @starry-night-rose's Glimmering Soirée! I saw a lot of people doing this event and have been wanting to draw for it for awhile. Unfortunately, I've been sick the past week.

I went for a more femme design since my last two designs for Yume were more masculine; plus I just think dresses are more fun to draw. Heavily inspired by Cinderella's dress with my own takes.

During the event Yume isn't trying to be the belle of the ball themselves (that would be mortifying), they are actually heavily advocating for their brother Yuuta! (@bunnwich)

They are assisting the Prince's with their duties (mostly Deuce while avoiding Azul) while keeping and eye on Grim to make sure he's acting right! They're also taking pictures of everyone in their fancy clothes; partially bc Crowley told them too and partially for their own scrapbook.

VOICE LINES UNDER THE CUT:

Summon: You my friend, will be da belle of da ball!

Groovy: Everyone here tonight… don’t they kind of look like stars in the night sky…Hey! Don’t laugh! Haha! Was that too cheesy? 

Set Home: We’re all bedazzled up!

Home Idle: Azul tried to get me to sign some contract in order to” secure my brother's win”. Pff! Nice try, four eyes; do you think I’ve learned nothing?

Idle 2: When I walked up to Deuce and he gave me a big fancy greeting! He was so proud of himself; I didn’t have the heart to tell him he curtseyed at me…He’s not really cut out for princely stuff…

Idle 3: *whining* Kalim! Please don’t keep making me dance in these shoes! My feet are killing me *fake sob* who makes glass shoes anyway…

Idle Groovy:  Malleus came up to ask what was wrong with his Tamagotchi and everyone in the room gave us a wide berth. Is it that serious? He’s just some guy?

Home Login: Oh man…I don’t wanna think about how long it’s gonna take to clean all this glitter up. 

Tap: The Royal Sword Academy students keep coming up to greet me oh so politely. Something about it kinda gets on my nerves…

Tap 2: Hey, didja see Grim’s vest? I made it myself. It took me hours to bedazzle the whole thing!

Tap 3: Ugh…I feel like everyone's looking at me…maybe this outfit was a bad idea…

Tap 4: Hey, if you see Vil; don’t tell him I’m not voting for him. It’s nothing personal…! 

Tap 5: *sigh* I need a break. Hey, do you wanna go sit on the balcony with me? I’d prefer the company of the stars right now.

Tap Groovy: Oh! Wait right there! Let me get a picture of you in your outfit! You look amazing! Ready? Cheese!

Here is some sketchy draft for the dress too:

[estell-allary]

A Devine Destiny

Relationship:romantic

Pairing:Clarisse La Rue x fem!Aphrodite!reader

A/N-hey so this is a part 2 to Aphrodite’s bane and this is set a few weeks later after the bathroom scene with Percy,this is a fluff aswell(this was kinda a request but they just asked for a part 2,and I really hope they see this x)

You were taking a night walk to calm yourself down from all the fuss of the new kid..at least that’s what you we’re telling yourself..,Percy Jackson,you were one of the unlucky ones that had to help him find out what he was good at,it did not go well,so now you we’re strolling around camp in your pj pants and sports bra with a small jacket on trying to relax until you saw her.

You and Clarisse have been…talking,kinda.I mean yea you two have been getting closer than before,but your not friends just.. aquanauts per say.Everyone knew something was there I mean there was for Aphrodite and ares aswell but everyone also knew not to bring it in front of you or her.

Anyways, why was she out so late?You wondered and why is she..soaked…?you enquired to yourself before she saw you “why are you out so late?”she said looking at you with a cocked eyebrow “i-i uh..why are you wet?”you said looking her up and down “none of your business.” Yea you guys are definitely not friends.

“Um ok..”you said looking down “you didn’t answer my question.”she said crossing her arms “you know we’re not supposed to be out this late”she said sternly glaring at you “your out to!” You said trying to defend yourself “that’s different,come on”she said and grabbed your arm “where are we going?”you said pulling away from her.

“I’m taking you back to your cabin”she said grabbing your upper arm and yanking you “NO!..please I don’t want to go back there..”you say gripping her forearm to stop her from pulling you “why?” She said her tone questioning but you stayed silent “have they been starting again?!”she yelled angrily,everyone knew that a few girls in the Aphrodite cabin have been starting on you for not being a copy and paste of them.

It started of as teasing,then it went to sly comments of how you acted like the comments a bitchy aunt would say at Christmas,then it went to hair pulling then to saying you don’t belong it the Aphrodite cabin and so on.

“No..yes”Clarisse let out a sigh and started dragging you in the other direction without saying a word,you stayed silent trying not to cry thinking about the cruel words the girls have been calling you

You arrived at cabin 5,ares cabin,her cabin, “w-why are we here..?”you said between small unnoticeable sniffles “why do you think,your staying here tonight”she said while pushing the ares cabin door open and dragging you in there was only a few people down stairs maybe 2 or 3

“Where is everyone..?”you asked Clarisse as she drug you up the stairs with her to avoid her half-brother matty and his knowing gaze on the two of you “I made them stay at training for capture the flag tomorrow” “oh yea I forgot about that..”

There was no one upstairs,just you and Clarisse you thought as she got some clothes out from her chest of draws,you were standing next to her bed looking around trying to make it not awkward,it wasn’t working.

“Take your jacket and shoes off and sit down”she said while eyeing you,you obeyed siting down and slipping your shoes off,she then chucked a dark red band t-shirt at your lap “there,put that on”she told you and went digging in her draws again,trying to find clothes for herself.

When she did she started talking and turned around before pausing “does it fit-…you know when I gave you the shirt and told you to put it on it wasn’t rhetorical,right?”you looked at her for a few seconds before gripping the hem off your jacket and rolling it between your finger tips,you went to speak before shuffling and slipping your hands under your jacket and slowly pulling it off all with Clarisse looking at you.

You pulled the shirt the right way round before slipping it over your head and pulling it over your chest and then all the way on,just in time to see Clarisse look away and move her still dripping hair over her shoulder before speaking “I’m gonna get in the shower and get changed you..”she started before pausing “..you stay here and do what you want,I’ll be like 10 minutes”she stated while walking to a oak door in the corner of the large room.

When Clarisse came out 10 minutes later,her hair still dripping going to do her hair care routine,you were half asleep on the edge of her bed eyes not shut but hooded snuggled up with one of her pillows,she sighed and started to do her curl routine until she heard you mumbling something incoherent until something very clear slipped out of your mouth,

“Your so pretty..”you said cuddling further into her pillow “i-uh..thank I guess” she said focusing back on her hair “your welcome clari..”she huffed out a sigh before starting to speak “what have they even been saying”she started finishing off her hair and walking over to you “what have who been saying..?”you said looking up at her “your half-siblings” she finished

“Oh..nothing much,just pushing me,saying I’m not supposed to be a child of Aphrodite and little sly comments…”you replied “who”she said sternly as you sat up “‘s okay it doesn’t matter” you said trying to avoid her gaze “who”she repeated “clordia,Chelsea and molly..”you said looking up at her tiredly,

She sighed and sat down next to you gently grabbing your shoulder and making you lay down with her “your tired,go to sleep”she said laying your head on her chest.

After she thought you were asleep she kissed you on the side of your mouth “goodnight”she whispered laying her head on top of yours,

Yea definitely not friends.

A/N:hey sorry this is kinda short but it is very fluffy and there so cute together remember to read Aphrodites bane before this but it’s ok on it’s own to also my requests are open wide for your surgestions have a great day/night and bye🤍

[yandereworlds]

「 INDEX + INTRODUCTION 」

˚₊‧🔪WELCOME TO MY YANDERE BLOG! I mainly make content for my own original characters and occasionally, fandom related stuff. This blog is strictly 16+ and run by two people.

My name is Kiki (She/Her) and I am 18+. I’m the one that mainly provides the art and bots that you’ll find throughout this blog and sometimes, I write headcanons/imagines as well. My writer is Rose (She/Her, 18+) and she’s responsible for writing the fanfictions and some of the drabbles. To make it easy for you to know who's behind each post, you'll see either 'Mun Kiki', 'Mun Rose', or both credited in the tags.

We started this blog because we had numerous ideas for yandere characters. Given my background as an artist and Rose's talent as a writer, it seemed like a natural fit. I'm primarily creating this post to serve as a guide for navigating the blog. I've received numerous asks about accessing the characters' backgrounds, information, as well as questions regarding my bots, projects, commissions, socials, and other related topics. You can use this post as a reference FAQ or as a comprehensive guide to streamline your experience on the blog. 

Find that you enjoy our work? Consider leaving a tip, it’s greatly appreciated and helps the blog. Also, if you’d like to be able to be more involved with our creative process and engage with the community, you can join our Discord server here. 

╰┈➤ ASK RULES - OPEN!

✦ Absolutely no NSFW asks. This blog is 16+ for a reason, so obviously, we will be trashing asks related to sexual topics. 

✦ We’re allowed not to answer certain asks. If you’ve been spamming the same ask and we haven’t responded to it for months, it’s most likely because we aren't comfortable doing so OR we’ve already answered an ask similar to yours.

✦ We will not be answering any asks regarding self-harm, eating disorders, extreme gore, noncon or any topics that could be associated with them. 

✦ Finally, we kindly request your patience. We understand that it may take some time to address each individual ask, as we both have busy lives and there may be periods when we don't post asks for weeks. Please refrain from rushing us, and rest assured, we will eventually get to your ask. 

╰┈➤ YANDERE MASTERLISTS 

Original Yandere Masterlist

Fandom Yandere Masterlist

╰┈➤ CHARACTER AI + JANITOR AI

If you've been following this account for some time, you're likely aware that I frequently share my character bots here. I've received numerous asks about which bots are available and where to find them online. While I plan to compile a list of my bots soon, for now, I'll provide links to both of my accounts for future reference.

It's worth noting that I'm currently on a temporary hiatus from Character AI due to site complications. Consequently, most of my recent bots can be found on Janitor AI, where I'm more active. Before visiting either site, please be aware that Janitor AI is intended for users aged 18 and above, whereas Character AI caters to a younger audience. In other words, minors stay off JanitorAI!

My Character AI profile - 1, 2, 3, 4

My Janitor AI profile (18+) - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Wish to request a bot from me? You can find the information here.

╰┈➤ ART COMMISSION INFO - OPEN

Pretty self explanatory. If you're interested in commissioning artwork from me, simply click the link to access my commission page. Currently, I'm accepting payments through both PayPal and Cashapp. Below is a brief FAQ regarding my commissions. Should you have any further questions, don't hesitate to contact me!

Can you draw my OC with your characters?

✦ Yes, absolutely! Just provide me a reference and what you'd like specifically. We can discuss all the details in DM's.

Can you draw a character from 'this fandom' for me?

✦ I'm completely fine with drawing fandom related content. The only fandoms I will not draw under any circumstance is youtubers, Your Boyfriend, Country Humans, BTD and Killing Stalking. Otherwise, I'm open to whatever.

Can you draw a comic for me?

✦ Yes, but only short comics. You can let me know what you'd like the short comic to be about and all that fun stuff. Just know comics from me will likely be around $20-$40+ dollars depending how detailed and complex you'd like it to be.

[physalian]

“Why doesn’t the villain just kill the heroes?”

Ah, plot armor. If you want to be a real go-getter and think up a more creative way for the heroes to always narrowly escape death out of sheer dumb luck, the villain being too slow on the draw, or the villain simply not thinking of it in the moment, you have to come up with a reason for why the villain doesn’t just kill the hero.

Four examples today.

1. Zhao & Aang

In “The Blue Spirit,” Aang is captured by Zhao, a man normally not above anything to further his agenda, including murder. The Avatar is the largest obstacle in his way, second to the Earth Kingdom, and all he has to do to take Aang off the gameboard is to kill a twelve-year-old. He’s got Aang in chains, not quite powerless but harmless enough, and could do it quickly.

So why doesn’t he? Per Zhao himself, if he kills Aang, the Avatar cycle will continue, born into some random water bender that may take them years to track down. Sure, they’ll be harmless for a few years and the Fire Nation might get lucky and find them easily, perhaps even sway the new one to their side, but what if the waterbending Avatar is born into the Foggy Swamp? Or they end up having to kill them, too, and then have to track down an earthbending Avtar across the entire Earth Kingdom? Does Zhao really want to take that chance when he can just keep Aang alive? Just barely?

Of course not.

Killing the hero in this case might stop the immediate threat, but it will just delay the inevitable, thus it’s in the villain’s best interest to exploit a loophole while likely committing war crimes in the process. He gets to secure a Fire Nation victory and make Aang suffer for the rest of his life.

Ozai doesn't kill Aang until the first chance he gets, which just so happens to be the series finale. And we all know why Aang has a no-kill policy.

2. Sam, Dean & The Angels and Demons

Hahaha it’s the show known for its refusal to kill its heroes. We’re gonna ignore everything past season 5. There’s obviously meta reasons—kill the main characters and you have zero supporting cast that could realistically take over the show.

But in season 4, despite multiple deaths already for both of them, so begins the “if you die we’ll just bring you back” threat, because they’re angels and angels can do that. Similar to Aang, Sam and Dean risk a fate far worse than death if they don’t cooperate with Zachariah’s plans. He happily gives them both a slew of diseases and illnesses to get his way whenever he gets the chance and reminds them both that if they just kill themselves to escape the Apocalypse, he’ll happily revive them. The Demons won't kill Sam and Dean because they're necessary to further their own plans by breaking certain seals on Lucifer's cage, though they're not above breaking bones and killing bystanders.

Fate worse than death is a popular threat, but usually the heroes offing themselves is still a viable, if deeply unpopular, option. Supernatural removes it entirely and for such a simple little detail, it does a lot to make their survivability believable.

3. Batman & Joker

Ahh the age old furious rant by people who don’t understand Batman: If Batman killed his villains they’d stop busting out of Arkham and murdering innocent civilians, Batman has so much blood on his hands—

Babe. Babe, he’s a comic book character. By his very nature, he can’t kill his villains otherwise he’d have no rogues gallery. Comic books are like a giant board of Monopoly, going around in circles and occasionally having a timeout in jail.

But the in universe reason there’s no killing has been essayed about extensively and so has why Joker doesn’t try harder to kill him, but I couldn’t not include these two. Batman does not kill because he is not judge, jury, and executioner of his villains, most of whom have mental health issues and while they certainly know better and their crimes aren’t justified, his villains need actual therapy and help and medication, not death. Even those who he might agree must be stopped and there’s no other way except murder, Batman himself will not be the one to pull the trigger. He must remain a hero, so that no matter who he comes across in the dark alleyways of Gotham, they know he’s not here to kill them, be it criminal or victim.

Joker doesn’t kill Batman for a much simpler reason, and Heath Ledger literally says it: “I won’t kill you because you’re too much fun.” He does not need a more convoluted reason, he enjoys the game, the chase, the tug of war (most versions of him, at least) and to kill Batman would be to end his greatest form of entertainment, and the only person probably in the whole world who is neither afraid of Joker nor dismissive of him as simply a freak.

4. Optimus and Megatron

Optimus Prime and Megatron are very similar to Batman and Joker but with literal eons of history between them. In most serialized Transformers media, as opposed to movies where the plot is more urgent, Megatron both wants to win Optimus over and just can't quite let himself finally win. Who is he without his rival, after all this time?

Optimus is in the same boat, refusing to kill him because he's still holding out hope for Megatron's redemption, that there's a peaceful way to end this war (no matter how much collateral both leaders end up causing). Shit gets real whenever Optimus breaks the unspoken rules of their no-kill rivalry and Megatron gets incredibly pissy about it because he's in love.

—

Suggestions to workshop this plot hole in your own narrative:

The hero staying alive is absolutely paramount to the villain’s plan (in which case, you have to have rock solid reasons for why they keep narrowly escaping capture)

The villain is so confident in their plan that they don’t even consider the hero a proper threat

The villain doesn't really have a bodycount, but if they kill the hero, suddenly all the other powers that be will take them seriously and they'll have a huge mess on their hands

The villain is so full of themselves or so in love with their rival that it’d break their heart to have to kill them just to win

The villain is simply not capable of murder either physically or morally (perhaps because the hero is a child)

Killing the hero would make them a martyr and the villain would end up with a far bigger mess on their hands when the lone hero is replaced with an avenging army

The villain is too proud to simply kill the hero and wants to win fairly in a proper fight on the battlefield and not take the cheap and easy shot

The villain does not have a phyiscal form or real presence in the plot, acting through their minions, and their minions are incompetent

It’s simply not fun if the hero dies/the hero is the only one who understands them and they’d lose far more than they’d gain by killing them

The villain still wants to try and win the hero over and is so dedicated to this path that they regularly sabotage their own plans desperate to change the hero’s mind

The villain firmly believes in a fate worse than death and while the hero’s survival isn’t crucial to the main plan, they want the hero to watch their own failure/become the villain’s minion/ prisoner/ partner by the end

There’s a million examples out there to pull from and I could keep listing them all night. So long as whatever it is doesn’t come out of nowhere or open a plot hole of “why didn’t they just do that earlier?” you can get quite creative.

One last example that’s a personal favorite of mine to implement: In Eternal Night of the Northern Sky there aren’t too many opportunities to ask this question, but when it does arise, Villain A has Hero B as a meat shield, and while Hero B’s love interest, Hero C, is more than happy to shoot through them to incapacitate Villain A, the person they take orders from isn’t so reckless, which later leads to Drama and Issues.

[whateverisbeautiful]

How do you think Rick would react to another man being interested in Michonne when they first arrived to Alexandria back in season 6 ? How would you think he react now ?

Oh thanks for asking! I’ve rolled different scenarios around in my head over the years regarding this and wrote out my thoughts here. 😊⬇️

I always felt like even a scene or two (not a whole storyline) of a man showing clear romantic interest in Michonne pre-canon would have been interesting and realistic since Michonne is such an undeniable catch inside and out. In my mind, the main reason it didn’t happen is because Rick and Michonne were already operating so much like a couple in ASZ. That likely kept men from feeling they could pursue Michonne since she was clearly the most important woman in Rick’s life and already seemed practically married with kids to most people on the outside looking in.

I think if a man showed interest in Michonne when they got to ASZ in season 5, it probably would have subconsciously amplified Rick’s crash out during that ASZ arc. 😬 Like after already spiraling mentally & being in love with his son’s best friend and not knowing what to do, I think seeing another man try to swoop in on Michonne, would have had Rick on edge and acting up even more than he already was in Alexandria.

Rick already was feeling super protective of team family and I think he’d draw an even bigger line between TF and the Alexandrians. He’d think the divide he was making is just because he wants his people safe, but it would also be because he doesn’t want this new guy around Michonne like that. And I just know, even despite Michonne not falling for this new guy, Rick would still be finding it hard to focus whenever he saw Michonne around him, like…

I think even in the pre-canon days there was a part of Rick that was afraid of losing Michonne. And having a new guy pursuing Michonne would likely exacerbate that fear. That’s part of why Richonne’s s5 finale convo is such an important moment because Rick gets to hear Michonne confirm that he doesn’t have to fear losing her anymore because she’s with him no matter what.

If a man started pursuing Michonne in 6A, I think it would have accelerated Rick finally finding his moment to make his feelings known to her. Not in a rushed way or a way motivated just by jealousy, I just think seeing Michonne around this new guy would be Rick’s wake up call that life is way too short to not go after the woman he knows he’s in love with.

And the way Rick and Michonne always paired up for tasks, I think Rick would be making sure this new guy was never paired with them lol. And then once he had more power in ASZ, I feel like Rick would be recommending/assigning the new guy to go on those weeks long runs like the one Tara and Heath went on. 🤭 If he ever discussed the guy with Michonne, I think Rick would try to be “subtle” and take the angle of we don’t know these people and have to be careful. And if Michonne gave him the “we’re in here together” talk still, I could almost see Rick professing his feelings for her right then and there.

I also think by this point even Carl would be giving Rick unspoken looks like ‘alright dad, make your move because we can’t have this new guy coming along and interfering with our family.’ Daryl probably would also have a few more of those stomach-pat moments with Rick because Slick Rick would be wearing all his emotions on his face if he felt like he was going to lose his chance with Michonne.

Rick ultimately would want for Michonne to be happy and for him to be the man making her happy. So I think he’d make his feelings known quicker and he’d snap out of that Jessie mess quicker because it would be harder to distract himself with that situation when Michonne has some other guy pursuing her.

With TOWL, I have a short scene I envision in episode 3 about how Rick would react to seeing someone in the CRM flirt with “Dana.” It would never be a matter of Rick worrying about Michonne’s response to a guy flirting with her, but imo he definitely would be stepping in with that Sergeant Major energy to let the interested guy know he has somewhere else to be and it’s not around this new pretty consignee lol.

As to how Rick would react to someone showing interest in Michonne now, I think @nobleriver already put in great words the thoughts surrounding Rick and jealousy, which I agree with. I don’t think Rick and Michonne get jealous because they know what they have between each other is unbreakable.

No matter who showed interest (and I'm sure many would want to for both of them), Rick and Michonne would feel secure knowing no one can ever come between them. Although I can see Rick and Michonne still having some ‘step back’ energy with whoever was trying to flirtatiosuly approach one of them.

Like Rick would not hesitate to put someone in their place if they think they can shoot their shot with Michonne. But overall, when Richonne both said ‘I’m yours’ in that proprosal they meant that and they know and trust that the other meant it too.

So I think Rick and Michonne's reactions to others showing interest now would never be rooted in worry that someone is going to pull them away from each other. They know they’re forever loyal to each other. They’d just make sure the message was clear to outsiders that they are married and any attempts at breaking that will always be futile. 👌🏽

[pixlokita]

Hey guys, I think it’s time I set some boundaries!

1. No arguing or pushing your head-canons if you disagree, just move on 🙏 we’re all just having fun.

2. No self promoting -w-

3. I am not a licensed therapist, please don’t treat me like one.

4. No dubs allowed and no reposts ฅ(≚ᄌ≚)

5. Please don’t ask about when the pages of my comics will update ฅ(•ㅅ•❀)ฅ

6. I can’t believe I have to say this, please don’t send me nsfw or suggestive asks much less with pictures to go with them.

For more information click under the cut 🫶 thank you and have fun and stay safe 💖

Tbh I appreciate all the comments and asks I get so much but sometimes when you want to start an argument about my headcanons because they contradict yours or your AUs it sorta kinda ? Bothers me ? Since it’s my blog and my safe space if you don’t like it just don’t say anything or unfollow me ^^ otherwise I’ll just block you without warning (｡･･｡) nothing personal. Like it’s ok to talk about your headcanons and your AUs but don’t use my blog to self promote them specially if we don’t agree on stuff.

The reason I’m not allowing dubs is because reposts and dubs without credit have gotten way out of hand, people aren’t even asking or crediting the correct artists if they even decide to credit at all. Sincerely, I do appreciate the dubs that got permission and proper credit 💖 but for now I just need a break for a bit because it gets overwhelming and pretty depressing. Thank you for understanding 🫶

While I’m ok and happy to offer advice on general matters I’m not a therapist.

If you need professional help please don’t vent to strangers online or take it out on them, get professional help. There’s resources and options, everyone is dealing with a lot of things so be mindful.

Ballpit is indeed discontinued, long story short I don’t feel comfortable drawing Gregory anymore, there was a lot of disrespect for huge boundaries and now I just can’t bring myself to draw him (・´ω`・) thank you for following the comic and being supportive 🙏 💖 yall made it worth drawing as much as I did of it ^^

[babybells123]

Regarding the original outline + some thoughts on Jon & Sansa… 

This is a long one. Buckle up.

If there is one thing I have picked up on in the ASOIAF fandom, it’s the knee-jerk negative reaction towards any theory/parallel/connection between Jon and Sansa. This was exacerbated by the show, of course but even now - five years later, there is an insane amount of vitriol that my brain is unable to comprehend. And here’s the rub; the infamous 1993 outline is the irony of it all. 

In a fandom that is a-okay with *certain* incest ships (r.e D@enerys x Jon, D@emon x Rh@enyra, Jon x Aria), as well as blatantly pedophilic ships (Sansa x S@ndor, Sansa x Littlefinger, Sansa x Tyrio*), how is Jon x Sansa the worst of them all? I’m going to pin it down to audience engagement with the show, particularly around the later seasons when Jon + Sansa reunite and people began to ‘ship’ them. So many believe that is how the ship took off, and thus it is mere crack - but there are posts tracking back to 2012/2013 theorising the possibility of Jon x Sansa. Was it spurred by the show? Certainly! But it does not take away from the fact that people were making valid arguments and essays before the general fandom was even comprehending a Jon and Sansa reunion on screen. And people were open to discussing/debating it with general civility (a far cry from today). 

I’m 90% certain people weren’t criticising those who began to believe in Jon x Aria when the outline was leaked…(though there were most definitely shippers before). But we never see the same level of vitriol towards Jon x Aria shippers, which is strange. 

In any case, let’s talk about said outline, some of the key points - and how I believe GRRM made the switch from Jon x Aria to Jon x Sansa. I’ll be drawing from GRRM’s past works, interviews, art, and his personal life - as well as other potential literary influences. I'll be linking metas along the way, but without further ado - let's go.

In October 1993, GRRM wrote a pitch outline for a publishing company. It was three pages long and conveyed alongside the first thirteen chapters of AGOT (170 pages). The three paged letter was leaked on twitter in February 2014, though there were multiple aspects parts blacked out. Keep in mind though, this may not be the *only* outline that exists. There are multiple outlines that have never been publicly released (and will likely remain that way). 

But let’s just focus on the 1993 outline, since we’re privy to the details. The thirteen chapters attached to the outline did *not* yet have a Sansa POV, and that’s because in this outline, she wasn’t listed as a key character.

The key characters were; Bran, Jon, Tyrion, D@enerys, and Aria.  

The first thirteen chapters were; Prologue; Bran I, Catelyn I, D@enerys I, Eddard I, Jon I, Catelyn II, Aria I, Bran II, Tyrion I, Jon II, D@enerys II, Eddard II, Tyrion II. 

I’ve seen people claim that Sansa isn’t an important character since she wasn’t listed as a key character, but they conveniently leave out the fact that a) her chapters were not yet written, b)she was given an entirely different more passive storyline in this outline, c) she dies, d) this was far far before GRRM fleshed out his characters entirely - Sansa took on a life of her own and she became her own solid complex character with an arc in 4 out of 5 of the books; 25 chapters. 

In fact, since the books have been published GRRM has regarded Sansa and the Starks as a main character as well;

Collider: In creating this world, did you start out with one family and then branch off into the rest of the world?

GRRM: Well, the Starks are certainly the centre of the story, when it begins. It all begins at Winterfell, with occasional cuts to Daenerys across the ocean, because there was no way I could get her into Winterfell. But, we bring all the characters together at Winterfell, and they’re all there for a while before they start to go their separate ways ... .But, the Starks are the centre of the book and, to a lesser extent, the Lannisters. They are still the major players. 

Collider: When you went into this, did you intentionally take the children, put them in an adult setting and force them to be in very adult and complex situations?

GRRM: Yeah, the children were always at the heart of this. The Stark children, in particular, were always very central. Bran is the first viewpoint character that we meet, and then we meet Jon and Sansa and Arya and the rest of them. It was always my intention to do that.” 

Collider report.

May 2016 - Balticon. 

(…) George said he was “pissed” that the outline was posted in the office building and that someone took photos and shared them. He said it was a letter for him and the publisher only. He was very firm when telling this and it showed on his face.

He then said that he is not good with writing outlines, making book deadlines, and that often in outlines he was “making shit up”, and “characters changed along the way”.

He went straight from talking about the references in the actual books, to the “differences” in the outline from then to now. He did say that he still knows who sits the iron throne and the end game of the main 5, but also included Sansa, but did not give any details (for obvious reasons).

[question if he is still going with the 1991 ending]

“Yes, I mean, I did partly joke when I said I don’t know where I was going. I know the broad strokes, and I’ve known the broad strokes since 1991. I know who’s going to be on the Iron Throne. I know who’s gonna win some of the battles, I know the major characters, who’s gonna die and how they’re gonna die, and who’s gonna get married and all that. The major characters. 

….

“So a lot of the minor characters I’m still discovering along the way. But the mains-”

[question if he knows Arya’s and Jon’s fates]

“Tyrion, Arya, Jon, Sansa, you know, all of the Stark kids, and the major Lannisters, yeah.”

Balticon report:

“Ah, how innocent I was… little did that guy in the picture imagine that he would be spending most of the next two decades in the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros with Tyrion, Daenerys, Arya, Sansa, Jon Snow, Bran, and all the rest.”

GRRM's live journal:

So Sansa has clearly developed into an important character from GRRM’s words, and the key-characters argument can cease, because It’s very tiring to dispel that when the characters and story took on a life of its own. (I mean, Jaime was meant to remain a villain, but he was clearly given somewhat of a redemption arc in the main series).

I paraphrased what was written here for this whole section, so go check out the longer post!

The Aria in the original outline: 

*NOTE: I am blacking out her actual names in case the wrong people find this post. None of this anti her, please keep that in mind.*

Five central characters will make it through all three volumes, [...] The five key players are Tyrion Lannister, D@enerys Targaryen, and three of the children of Winterfell, Aria, Bran, and the bastard Jon Snow. 

Joffrey will not be sympathetic and Ned [what appears to say] will be accused of treason, but before he is taken he will help his wife and his daughter Aria escape back to Winterfell.

Tyrion Lannister, meanwhile, will befriend both Sansa and her sister Aria, while growing more and more disenchanted with his own family.

When Winterfell burns, Catelyn Stark will be forced to flee north with her son Bran and her daughter Aria. Wounded by Lannister riders, they will seek refuge at the Wall, but the men of the Night's Watch give up their families when they take the black, and Jon and Benjen will not be able to help, to Jon's anguish. It will lead to a bitter estrangement between Jon and Bran. 

Aria will be more forgiving ... until she realises, with terror, that she has fallen in love with Jon, who is not only her half-brother but a man of the Night's Watch, sworn to celibacy. Their passion will continue to torment Jon and Aria throughout the trilogy, until the secret of Jon's true parentage is finally revealed in the last book.

Abandoned by the Night's Watch, Catelyn and her children will find their only hope of safety lies even further north, beyond the Wall, where they fall into the hands of Mance Rayder, the King-beyond-the-Wall, and get a dreadful glimpse of the inhuman others as they attack the wilding encampment. Bran's magic, Aria's sword Needle, and the savagery of their direwolves will help them survive, but their mother Catelyn will die at the hands of the others.

Exiled, Tyrion will change sides, making common cause with the surviving Starks to bring his brother down, and falling helplessly in love with Aria Stark while he's at it. His passion is, alas, unreciprocated, but no less intense for that, and it will lead to a deadly rivalry between Tyrion and Jon Snow

Observations:

Exactly how old is Aria? Is she a warrior princess who cries at songs like her aunt? Does she enjoy/yearn for romance? Is she a stunningly beautiful maiden rivalling that of Cersei? How close were she and Jon? Did they have a good sibling relationship? Or were they distant? Does she look physically different to Jon? Does she have red hair? 

The Sansa of the Original Outline:

‘Each of the contending families will learn it has a member of dubious loyalty in its midst. Sansa Stark, wed to Joffrey Baratheon, will bear him a son, the heir to the throne, and when the crunch comes she will choose her husband and child over her parents and siblings, a choice she will later bitterly rue.’ 

Tyrion Lannister, meanwhile, will befriend both Sansa and her sister Aria, while growing more and more disenchanted with his own family.

Jaime Lannister will follow Joffrey on the throne of the Seven Kingdoms, by the simple expedient of killing everyone ahead of him in the line of succession and blaming his brother Tyrion for the murders. 

More observations:

How old is Sansa? Is she 16? 17? She’s conveyed as a less important character in this outline - why? Queen of the Seven Kingdoms? She dies? Jaime kills her? What is her relationship with Aria like? Are/were they close? Or was Sansa initially meant to be a two-tone villain who betrayed her family? Is she overwhelmingly beautiful? Or is she the plainer sister? 

It’s quite clear that both ASOIAF Aria and ASOIAF Sansa are entirely different characters to their outlined counterparts. 

In the outline, Tyrion sacks and burns Winterfell. In ASOIAF, It’s Theon and later Ramsay who does this. In the outline, it’s Bran, Aria, and Catelyn who go beyond the Wall. In ASOIAF, it’s Bran, Meera, and Jojen (and Hodor). There are a couple of other changes made here, but there seems a pattern where certain acts *still* occur in the main series, they’re just given to different characters (which makes sense, as GRRM grows organically with his characters.)

So, when we take into account the fact of ASOIAF Sansa being considered a main/key character, her marriage to Tyrion, and the possibility of her being the first to reunite with Jon - perhaps GRRM did keep a Stark x Snow romance - but gave it to a different sister. 

In the 2016 Balticon report, GRRM stated he wished that ‘some past things didn’t have such strong foreshadowing and that newer things had stronger foreshadowing.’ You can make a case for J0nrya foreshadowing in the first book, but I’d argue that ACOK/ASOS is where the Jon/Sansa clues and foreshadowing is rife. (and there are certainly Jon/Sansa clues in the first book as well.) 

Now to circle back. The Aria of this outline doesn’t have a personality - none of the characters do, really. We don’t know how old she is. Is she a teenager? Is she close in age to Jon? We know she has her needle, so can infer she is a fighter and spirited, but is there a soft romantic side to her? Does she cry at songs like her aunt Lyanna? Does she yearn for love? Is she immensely beautiful? For a narrative like this? It'd be likely if Jon and Tyrion are fighting to the death over her, sort of like gallant knights fighting each other to win the heart of a fair maiden (very romantic and idealistic, mirroring the songs and the stories).

(This is how I am certainly inferring such a scene would have gone).

The ASOIAF Aria we know and love took on a life of her own. She’s described as plain looking (some envision her to be more beautiful than characters like D@ny, Cersei, and Sansa though). - But just quickly on that matter, Aria is indeed compared to Lyanna in looks and spirit, though Lyanna’s beauty was described as wild and implied as non-conventional; different perspectives have different opinions on her. For example, Cersei, Jaime, Devan, the Maester who wrote the WOIAF don’t consider her anything special. Whereas Ned, Robert, and Rhaegar do. So it’s one of those instances where you aren’t exactly sure. In any case, Aria's looks aren't a driving factor in her arc, and I don’t see ASOIAF Tyrion (as creepy as he is) suddenly falling in love with her due to mere attraction because presently, Aria is all knobbly knees and elbows, stick thin, a child, not a maiden, who will still be a pre-teen at the end of the series, if there is no massive time jump.

SHE'S JUST A BABY.

But then, Tyrion did lust after Sansa, so there’s that… however ….

Sansa’s beauty is a driving force in her narrative arc. She is objectified for her beauty. Preyed upon because of her beauty; in many ways it causes her to suffer. It’s largely why LF is grossly infatuated with her - she’s beautiful like Catelyn. Tyrion is attracted to Sansa and wishes to bed her, the H0und intends to rape her during the Blackwater battle, he also comments on her breasts growing, Joffrey sexually humiliates her in court, Ser Dontos has a pervy infatuation with her, Cersei despises Sansa because she is younger, more beautiful etc which she views as a threat.

So, beauty is pertinent to Sansa’s narrative, and it isn’t vain or shallow to say so because it’s a large part as to why she suffers. And her physical beauty is meant to compliment her indulgence in romantic idealism; knights, chivalry, courtly love, beautiful appearances thus equating to good people. It also contributes to perceptions of Sansa; nothing more than a pretty, stupid girl with naive dreams. 

So back to ASOIAF Aria: Her arc largely surrounds nature & nature, mercy, war trauma and survival, friendship, belonging, and family. For the majority of the story, she is a traumatised 10 year old travelling through a war torn country, witness to awful horrors, forced to assume multiple identities, until she goes to Braavos and begins her faceless man arc. But this is obviously not her endgame - she is going to go home eventually, that is quite clear.

You can argue she had a little crush on Gendry (as a 10 year old would) (and perhaps something may happen with him when she is older, I think GRRM has played with it.) But other than that, romance is not a central part of Aria's arc insofar. For outline Aria it was, but current ASOIAF Aria is on a completely different tangent all together.

(and that poor poor child is suffering immensely while this is all occurring).  Currently, she has no time for/interest in it. She hasn’t been involved in betrothals/marriages, or had men lusting after her (save ‘Mercy’ and people men making brutalising sexual comments towards her). She disguises herself as a boy for a good chunk of the story as it is safer to travel.

No, I’m not trying to reduce any sexual trauma/objectification she suffers, she’s a little girl for heaven’s sake - I’m merely stating that what she is going through is in some ways similar and different to what Sansa is going through. (Who currently is in a in a very Lolita type situation with LF and men sexually intimidating/abusing her has been a key part of her arc - as I said, she suffers significantly due to her beauty. She is something to possess, she isn't real or tangible, she is a beautiful maid with a vast claim to the North.)

Anyway, ASOIAF Aria finds songs and romance ‘stupid.’ 

“Sansa would have shed a tear for true love, but Arya just thought it was stupid.” (Arya VIII ASOS) 

 (but that doesn’t mean she won’t encounter it later in life, it just means that at this point of the story, she isn’t interested/likely won't encounter some epic grand romance that outline Aria was likely destined for. (And she’s 11 for god’s sake!).

‘But Sansa was dreaming of love at that age!’

Sansa has been a romantic idealistic dreamer since she was a little girl. She adored those stories and is the literal embodiment of the mediaeval pre-raphaelite maiden depicted in art. It’s central to her story arc, to her qualities, and how she functions/copes with things around her. “Life is not a song.” Is so fundamental to that.

So to reiterate ASOIAF Aria is a completely different character to outline Aria- for all we know OG Aria was 15 years old, very beautiful to the point of men duelling over her, (just as depicted in art above) likely a romantic heroine, had consistent memory lapses that would cause her to “realise in terror, she had fallen for Jon,” and based off of GRRM’s past works - was probably a redhead. 

“But OG Aria has a sword named needle!”

Indeed, but as I stated, we don’t know anything else about her beyond that. Many have theorised that D@ny and Jon are the epic romance of the series, but it’s clear from this particular outline that GRRM intended for it to be Aria and Jon as the epic major romance of the series. That would mean Aria would have to be a somewhat romantically-inclined character, for this development to appear natural and not forced. Based on her current ASOIAF arc, it doesn’t track for her character to make a sudden 180. Her softness and vulnerable moments come from thinking of her family and home. Insofar, this isn’t equated to yearning for love, romance, children, as Sansa has done from the beginning of the series.

Now, we know GRRM is a self-proclaimed romantic, and ASOIAF Sansa exists very much as a deconstruction of romanticism. 

“He said he is a romantic, in the classical sense. He said the trouble with being a romantic is that from a very early age you keep having your face smashed into the harshness of reality. That things aren’t always fair, bad things happen to good people, etc. he said it’s a realistic world, so romantics are burned quite often. This theme of romantic idealism conflicting with harsh reality is something he finds very dramatic and compelling, and he weaves it into his work.” (2005 interview).

Sansa is arguably, the embodiment of this dismantling. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that love isn’t real, or that it doesn’t deserve to exist in a gritty world such as Westeros. There were many couples who had good, happy marriages, even after war and loss and trauma. For example, apart from the Jon Snow situation, Ned and Catelyn had a remarkably healthy relationship. So it is possible - the takeaway from the series is not that hoping is meaningless, dreams are meaningless, love is meaningless. More so that it is complicated, and it must coexist alongside all the chaos in order to achieve a sort of

equilibrium. A literal ‘Dream of Spring’ a hope for happiness, rather than happiness itself. It tracks with the bittersweet conclusion to the series ; it is a grimdark story, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll be a grimdark ending where everyone good and noble dies and wishes/dreams/innate desires remain unfulfilled. 

In fact, I argue that a lot of them will come true - but at what cost? It’ll be at the cost of loss and grief, of suffering upon suffering, but what’s inherently more powerful, what’s more subversive is having those characters persist and rebuild, regenerate, create a new world where love and chaos undoubtedly exist alongside each other, but just because there is chaos, that does not mean the love is miniscule or cancels out entirely. 

Because if all these characters have the most unsatisfying, awful conclusions known to man, well - what was the point of everything? What was the point of their journeys? This isn’t a nihilistic story, and it won’t have a nihilistic ending like everyone assumes. It’s far more difficult for an author to craft such an ending, balancing things out whilst acknowledging all the loss and still holding out hope for a better future to come. That brighter days will arrive. That winter will end, and spring will be on the horizon.

“We may lose our heads, it’s true. But what if we prevail?” (Davos I ADWD). 

And that right there, sums it up perfectly. 

So you need characters like Sansa, characters like Brienne, D@ny, (you know what let’s just add all the Stark children of the series to the list, because every single character arc is about remaining resilient and prevailing in some way or another). 

But it’s Sansa who exists as the meta character that embodies/indulges in all those romantic ideals that GRRM is intent on exploring - it thus makes perfect sense for it to be her that experiences the romance arc. Many people think she’ll end up with the H0und, or Harry the douchebag, because it’s a part of her growing up, maturing, learning from her negative biases etc etc but she shouldn’t have to be with abusive or douchy men to learn that. She’s already learned and suffered enough. 

“It is my claim they want. No one will ever marry me for love.”

And how utterly heartbreaking that she has resigned to think this, with her arc only mid-way. But importantly, just a few chapters later she enters the garden of undisputed beauty and equates the snow landing on her face with romantic kisses, she dreams of innocence and winterfell, despite lamenting how she doesn’t belong in such a pure world, she steps out into it all the same. And she builds her home in the snow, content and for once - she’s the child she is, the child she is yearning to be.

So Sansa falling in love with Jon makes sense on a characteristic level. It’s something she never would have considered as a sheltered child, not just because he’s her bastard half brother but because he just didn’t exist in her idea of how the world works. He didn’t fit in with her idea of knights, and courtly love and chivalry. He wasn’t a gallant golden prince, he was dark, sulky and brooding. He existed on the parameters of her life, and she was comfortable with that distant association - but she still loved him, and he her. 

Falling in love with Jon would equate to a dismantling of these previous prejudices  she held; he’s utterly unconventional, the opposite of what she has shown attraction to (despite her first ‘love’ being Waymar Royce, who resembles Jon strikingly). The man she never really considered beyond courtesy and some scarce, fond memories - to be the one who restores her faith in men, in love, in dreams. 

“Realising with terror that she has fallen in love with Jon… their passion will continue to torment them.” 

tracks with Sansa’s characterisation particularly, her memory lapses, her clouded judgement, and inability to interpret things correctly (and something as confusing as this would certainly cause her to have some cognitive dissonance going on).

Not to mention caution around well… men. Because who would ever marry her for love? Who would ever take her for true? Love her without expectations and judgement? It’s Jon. Who has been there since the very beginning, who has been a silent unconscious hero, the answer to her prayers, who embodies all those romantic and knightly ideals she has so desperately wanted - despite her being unaware. Who has advocated for her claim - above everyone else.

“No one will ever marry me for love.” And that infamous Jon chapter follows. Jon who is never quite far from Sansa’s suitors. Jon, who has a similar dream of rebuilding Winterfell, of having children named after lost siblings, who wants to woo a girl by giving her a rose and loving beneath the heart tree - the heart of Winterfell. Who would undeniably want to have that beautiful soul-nourishing love he never received as a child, that he believes is perpetually unavailable to him. 

Above all,  they just fit together. It fits with GRRM’s William Faulkner-esque “the human heart in conflict with itself".” And this is a perfectly subversive way of  encapsulating that Jon confusing brotherly love and affection with romance, struggling with the shame of it all - especially post-resurrection, the religious disillusionment that would occur, the notion of Jon being loved by the kind of girl he believed he never had the right to, who his deeply romantic heart is yearned for. (There is a reason GRRM let us know how badly Jon yearns for domesticity, Winterfell love, children, and a wife. He associates his love for Ygritte with her singing, her hair, her smile. He dreams of her tending to him with gentle hands) The simple yet meaningful things that have been denied to him because of his bastardry. And god, what better way to torment these two than by having them fall for each other - realising they fit each other so perfectly, yet tormented by their familial relation. Until, as the outline puts, the parentage is revealed. 

Do I believe they will act on their feelings pre-parentage reveal? No. It’ll likely exist in the subtext, in private thoughts and actions. Angst, guilt. Again, the stuff that GRRM loves - the human heart is in conflict with itself. 

Much like Lord Byron’s ‘The Bride of Abydos.” Where half-siblings fall in love with each other until they realise they are actually cousins. Lord Byron, who was famously in love with his half sister Augusta, who was a stranger to him for a good portion of his life until they properly got to know each other and fell in love. (Who does that sound like?’)

And if you’re wondering how Jon and Sansa could possibly connect to Lord Byron, well there is a ‘Byron the Beautiful’ in Alayne II AFFC, and Alayne I TWOW. GRRM has further instilled characters by the name of “Manfred” which is in reference to Lord Byron’s infamous work of the same name. (I urge you to check out all of Cappy's Byron metas, they are fantastic.

And, Jon has been called a “Brooding, Byronic, romantic heroine whom all the girls love.” GRRM knows what Byronic is inferring - he isn’t daft, he’s a writer - he reads other works and takes influence and sprinkles in so many things. 

A Byronic character involves:

. . romantic melancholy, guilt for secret sin, pride, defiance, restlessness, alienation, revenge, remorse, moodiness, and such noble virtues as honor, altruism, courage, and pure love for a gentle woman. (Poetry Foundation, Lord Byron)

“GRRM: I was always intensely Romantic, even when I was too young to understand what that meant. But Romanticism has its dark side, as any Romantic soon discovers… which is where the melancholy comes in, I suppose. I don’t know if this is a matter of artistic influences so much as it is of temperament. But there’s always been something in the twilight that moves me, and a sunset speaks to me in a way that no sunrise ever has.”

Infinity plus:

And isn’t that exactly what he would be exploring with Jon and Sansa? It isn’t a conventional romance by any means. It could never exist normally until Jon’s parentage is revealed. And that is the tormented nature of it, that is the “bittersweetness” of it - it is rooted in realism, yes - and that to me, is Sansa receiving her true love, countering that no one would ever marry her for love. The gods will grant it to her, - but it’s wrapped up in this darker, morally ambiguous thing that is confusing for her, even though Jon would be her dream come true - he isn’t this neat little courtly golden package, but he embodies all those ideals more than any man she’s actually met. 

It’s subversive to what both the characters and the readers expect, and it’s just a brilliant plot twist that screams unpredictability whilst fitting together like a perfect puzzle. It creates internal conflict and evokes those themes that GRRM loves to explore. By giving the ‘heroes’ of the series a motif such as incest is extremely bold; because it challenges the reader greatly. Some people don’t want Jon to end up with Sansa because it contradicts the image that they have of him in his head - the heroic male who will save the world with his heroic counterpart and together they shall rule the seven kingdoms. To embrace his father’s family, claim a dragon, fulfil the prophecy, be the third head of the dragon, reject his stark-ness. Very predictable. Done to death a thousand times over, and yet - it is what the general audience wants/expects. It’s what the dudebros who call him the ‘GOAT’ want, it’s what the Targ stans want, it’s what the show watchers wanted - but what does Jon want? 

“Yet he could not let the wildlings breach the Wall, to threaten Winterfell and the north, the barrowlands and the Rills, White Harbor and the Stony Shore, even the Neck. For eight thousand years the men of House Stark had lived and died to protect their people against such ravagers and reavers . . . and bastard-born or no, the same blood ran in his veins. Bran and Rickon are still at Winterfell besides. Maester Luwin, Ser Rodrik, Old Nan, Farlen the kennelmaster, Mikken at his forge and Gage by his ovens . . . everyone I ever knew, everyone I ever loved.” (Jon II ASOS). 

“I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children. I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall. I could name him Robb. Val would want to keep her sister's son, but we could foster him at Winterfell, and Gilly's boy as well. Sam would never need to tell his lie. We'd find a place for Gilly too, and Sam could come visit her once a year or so. Mance's son and Craster's would grow up brothers, as I once did with Robb.

"He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade.” (Jon XII ASOS). 

“Red eyes, Jon realised, but not like Melisandre's. He had a weirwood's eyes. Red eyes, red mouth, white fur. Blood and bone, like a heart tree. He belongs to the old gods, this one. And he alone of all the direwolves was white. Six pups they'd found in the late summer snows, him and Robb; five that were grey and black and brown, for the five Starks, and one white, as white as Snow.”

He had his answer then." (Jon XII ASOS)

“He was the blood of Winterfell, a man of the Night's Watch. I will not father a bastard, he told her. I will not. I will not. "You know nothing, Jon Snow," she whispered.” (Jon VI ASOS)

“Ygritte answered for him. "His name is Jon Snow. He is Eddard Stark's blood, of Winterfell." (Jon VIII ACOK)

"Then you must do what needs be done," Qhorin Halfhand said. "You are the blood of Winterfell and a man of the Night's Watch." (Jon VI ASOS). 

“You can't be the Lord of Winterfell, you're bastard-born, he heard Robb say again. And the stone kings were growling at him with granite tongues. You do not belong here. This is not your place. When Jon closed his eyes he saw the heart tree, with its pale limbs, red leaves, and solemn face. The weirwood was the heart of Winterfell, Lord Eddard always said . . . but to save the castle Jon would have to tear that heart up by its ancient roots, and feed it to the red woman's hungry fire god. I have no right, he thought. Winterfell belongs to the old gods.” (Jon XII ASOS) 

“He sat on the bench and buried his head in his hands. Why am I so angry? he asked himself, but it was a stupid question. Lord of Winterfell. I could be the Lord of Winterfell. My father's heir.” (Jon XII ASOS).

“If I could show her Winterfell . . . give her a flower from the glass gardens, feast her in the Great Hall, and show her the stone kings on their thrones. We could bathe in the hot pools, and love beneath the heart tree while the old gods watched over us.” (Jon V ASOS). 

“If he must perish, let it be with a sword in his hand, fighting his father's killers. He was no true Stark, had never been one … but he could die like one. Let them say that Eddard Stark had fathered four sons, not three.” (Jon IX AGOT).

Look, at the end of the day - we don't know how the story will go, but based off of Jon’s character arc? His thoughts? His actions? His relationships with his siblings? The fact that he has warged into a magical beast directly associated with Starks? The North? The Old Gods? The weir wood trees? I think that instead of GRRM having Jon go down the conventional disadvantaged male hero finding out he is a secret prince and thus becoming King and a proper Targ, GRRM will subvert expectations (much to audience displeasure) and do the opposite.

Learning of his true identity will just cause more angst and a major identity crisis. The one thing Jon finds real and solid, that no one can take from him - is that he is Ned Stark’s son. He raised him. Perhaps they don’t share a direct blood link. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that he was raised by him, loved by him. So instead of choosing his father’s family; embracing the secret prince persona and fighting for the throne - he’ll choose his mother’s family. And I think that is beautifully conclusive.

But back to Jon and Sansa. GRRM is given the opportunity to explore the sort of impact this incest motif has on fundamentally good people. And I think this is what he originally intended to do with Jon and Aria.

Yes, we have Jaime and Cersei, but this is real sibling incest and rife with toxic narcissism, possession etc. We have the T@rgaryens, which are messy beyond belief and practice it due to blood purity. 

But Jon and Sansa clearly differ from the rest, and that is because they exist partly as foils as to what we previously have seen. Similar to Jonnel x Sansa. By intentionally refraining from the development of a properly-close sibling relationship, making Jon and Sansa fundamental opposites visually, and associating them with entirely different cultures (yet writing their core personas as the same, their dreams compatible, their thought process and idealism similar).

GRRM manages to pave the way into such a romance that comes as a shock to the characters, the narrative, and readers themselves. Because no one, absolutely no one would see it coming, and the people who have been privy to the theory - immediately dismiss it - and become quite angry when it is brought up. Like I said earlier, a knee-jerk reaction. 

To quote this brilliant meta right here:

‘Whether Jon and Sansa fall in love is up to the author and his intended exploration of literary/mythic themes that his predecessors have deployed. He is not writing from (or for) the moral values of show watchers and book readers, or their anecdotal hopes for how things “should be.” He’s writing a narrative that breaks away from conventional storytelling and what we expect from such characters.’

…

‘ I don’t believe the author is giving up completely on the romantic dream. He has made Sansa more cautious, converted her dreams into mere prayers, and has forced her to examine her assumptions, but he’s not turning her into the H0und, who is too pessimistic and fatalistic as a suitor. Sandor’s assertion that all knights are killers makes fantasy so small, it’s eliminated. I think he is setting Sansa on a path where her dreams do die, and her life becomes about as romantic as that smokestack in Cleveland - until they start to come alive again when she travels North to the Wall.’

'That cold, hard reality is still present in the fact that they are brother and sister, but once Jon’s parentage is revealed, this will change. Like an inverted Cinderella (clock striking 12), the reality will become fantasy again. But it’s still inladen with this bitter reality of their relations. So taking this into account, I believe Jon and Sansa could happen because there is no other couple in the series with which GRRM can explore his fascination with fantasy becoming “smaller,” but not completely shrinking altogether. There are no two better characters who represent these ideas, who have the same quietly domestic desires - who do not (at the moment) actively lust for power and cause it to blind them.'

So in essence, Jon and Sansa exist as the subversion of romance. In a twisted, loving sort of way that is morally conflicting to the characters and audiences (for a time). That has existed between the lines, subtly and implicitly. That the audience gives absolutely no thought, because why would they? And if they do, they are abhorred by it - but I’d argue this is the entire point. But not for the reasons you think, not because of the incest - or J0nerys would disgust them.

From the moment he started the series, GRRM has employed incest as a major motif that impacts both the narrative and the characters - the causes the war, that contributes to T@rgaryen values, legacy etc, that propels aspects of narcissism and vitriol for characters like Cersei. It’s really really interesting stuff, as uncomfortable as it is - there are no other works that explore it so messily and beautifully with such nuance. 

I believe people seriously underestimate GRRM’s use of omission and subtext. Seriously, just because something is not explicitly stated, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Unfortunately fans have such a surface level reading of the text, that they are unable to peel back the layers and get to its core. They don’t consider literary influences, or art, or the Romantic movement or anything. They claim they want a complex story that is subversive, yet they cheer for the three-headed dragon theory and all the most predictable plot points that have been absolutely done to death. But then they turn up their noses at anything that goes against the grain, or insinuates otherwise.  

R + L = J is a great example of existence within the subtext, yet nobody denies that it is there. No one is called crazy or delusional for it. Ned never thinks of Jon’s true parentage despite harbouring that secret for years, because it is buried deep in his subconscious.

And much to the audience’s surprise (and dismay I'm sure) that is how Jon and Sansa will manifest. This is the human heart in conflict with Jon and Sansa, but not just them - the readers as well. It’s pointing to us, asking us how we’ll possibly handle it. We’re meant to feel this conflict of emotions - anguish and torment and yet hope for something ineffable - just like the characters.

To be able to evoke that as a writer is one of the most impressive feats I can think of - and for the majority of it to exist at this point, in a subconscious limbo?  How utterly complex and painful and raw and intelligent but oh so very brilliant. Perhaps one of the most compelling things to come out of this entire series, if only the general audience was open to such discussions. But alas, we must contend with the community we have, and hope for a dream of spring to come upon us. 

[rxmxa]

How can you thrive in the future? How can you thrive now?

Roni Sagi is a dog dancer who turned her love of dogs and dancing into a business. She has performed on America's Got Talent with her dog, Rhythm. Emily Odio-Sutton built a print-on-demand business on Etsy that generates 54,000 dollars monthly and paid off her student loan debt and financed family vacations. People are making money off selling food themed slime. People are quitting their 9-5 jobs and making money from blogging their every day lives! Making videos showing how they cook for their kids or organizing their fridge!!! bc they want to!! bc it makes them happy !! One time I bought a beautiful piece of artwork from a girl who makes money by drawing what she thinks your birth chart manifests as! These are not celebrities that are doing this. They are ordinary people that tune into their creativity and are getting ahead of the game. Without a doubt, they will be the ones that will thrive in pluto in aquarius!

Pluto is all about change and disruption, and we’re already seeing it happen (think AI, social unrest, big shifts in technology, shifts in societal norms). The people who are thriving right now are those using their creativity to get ahead. They aren’t waiting for permission or sticking to the usual path! They're creating their own. There's a future out there where that will be the norm and it won’t seem as outlandish when someone says that’s what they do for a living!

That doesn't mean traditional jobs will cease to exist but they definitely are going to change. My friend is a teacher and the kids tell her all the time that they want to be streamers or vlog in the future and parents will roll their eyes. But why not? There are people doing those things right now making millions and millions of dollars. It's not as farfetched as we think. And my friend is a teacher but she has thousands of followers on ig from posting reels on her favorite things: traveling and teaching.

And it’s not just about being talented!! it’s about spotting opportunities and turning your passions into something new. everyday people are finding ways to make their creativity work for them. The point is it doesn’t have to be through social media or you thinking you have to make new accounts its about what YOU like to do and what in your chart can support you in that. It has to be to your liking!

As Pluto moves into Aquarius, it’s clear that the future will belong to those who think outside the box and are ready to try new things. Aquarius energy is all about innovation and pushing boundaries. If you tap into your creativity now, you’ll be ahead of the curve and set yourself up to thrive in this rapidly changing world.

This doesn't mean you have to go on amazon rn and buy a whole bunch of painting supplies (I mean if you're super excited to do that go ahead) but tbh we can just start with reflecting on our lives. Thinking about our old hobbies or interests that we might have let go because we said there was no time or we deemed it too "childish") someone rn is doing their FAVORITE thing in the world and making a living off of it!

A personal example of mine: I am the first in my immediate family to go to college and get a degree. And because of that I felt the pressure of getting my masters (both as a measure of my success and to please my family) and I was in my masters program feeling overworked from working full time and having classes and just overall unhappy. I realized that I was just trying to collect degrees in a world where that doesn't guarantee a boost in pay or success anymore (at least in my job it doesn't). I made the choice to drop from my masters program and Im still at my current job! But I feel less stressed and can dedicate more time to thinks I actually like to do like writing, reading, painting, watching my shows! I’m not doing those things for money im doing them because 1) they make me happy and 2) I know they can bring all kinds of opportunities from nurturing my creativity to connecting with people. What are some things you miss doing? What are some hobbies that bring you joy?

Here are some old posts of mine that talk about Aquarius energy on a more surface level!

🦋Uranus through the houses + looking at the future pt.1

🦋Manifesting with the 11th house

🦋The Aquarius-Leo axis

🦋Aquarius through the houses

[nikkichama]

BNHA Fic Recs

After Naruto I want to share my favorite BNHA fics.

Warning:Not Bakugo friendly!!

TodoIzu:

Lies of the Beautiful People by sakura_whiskey One shot

Suicidal Midoriya Izuku / Todoroki Shouto is a Sweetheart!

Shoto always wondered how Izuku Midoriya was so happy all the time.

Setting Fire To Plushies Is Not A Solution To Jealousy by TheNarator (G) One-shot ♥♥♥

Izuku found the best hero merch ever: a giant plushie of his husband Shouto! Shouto, on the other hand, is less than enthused by the toy, or how much attention Izuku is giving it.

Something needs to be done about Chibi-Shouchan.

Like, Comment and Romance by xSkyll (T) 9/9 chapter ♥♥♥

Quirkless Midoriya/Pro Hero Todoroki/Underground Hero Shinsou

In the hero community, it’s common for popular heroes to have merchandise for sale. Amongst these items are a few staples: t-shirts, figurines, and, of course, replicas of their costumes. This is where Deku, a well-known YouTuber, comes into play. Deku’s Hero Analysis is a series where the host, Deku, dresses up in official pro hero costumes, then does an analysis of each hero and reviews some of their merchandise. Joining him is Hito-nyan, the sarcastic cameraman who never shows his face and loves to push Deku’s buttons. And watching them is pro hero Todoroki Shouto, who absolutely, without a doubt, does not have a crush on Deku. Except actually he does, which is fine, because it turns out they have a friend in common and getting to meet the adorable YouTube star is more likely to happen than he ever would have dreamed.

Sequel: Like,Comment and Propose

It's Me or the Dog by TellMeYellMe (M) One shot♥♥

Fluff/Todoroki Shouto is a Dork/Implied Sexual Content

As much as Shouto wants to answer his boyfriend, he can’t. Not when he sits face to face with his opponent. Forget destructive villains and long hours of overtime at the office, the being that Shouto is staring at is clearly his most difficult opponent yet.

Or, Shouto faces off against his attention stealing dog, tentacles are talked about, and Izuku is a blushing mess.

One Reason Why by QuasiCanon (G) One shot ♥♥

No Quirks/Established Relationship

Tododeku Week Day 3 - Jealousy

The jumbotron above lights up with the kiss cam, drawing Izuku’s attention away from the game. Faces come and go- Izuku doesn’t really pay attention, too caught up in Ochako and Shouto’s argument. And then, the kiss cam shows him.

It'd Been So Long by fromthedepthsofinsanity (M) One-shot ♥♥

Bottom Midoriya/Top Todoroki/Established Relationship/Pro heroes

Izuku and Shouto finally have a moment alone together. No work. No crisis. No interruptions.

Experimental by StratsWrites, whiskeyandspite (E) One shot ♥♥

Dominant Shouto/Submissive Izuku/Biological Dom,sub/Proper BDSM Etiquette/Spanking/Rough Sex/Aftercare

“Todoroki-san,” Izuku laughed that shaky little laugh of his and mussed the hair at the back of his head. “You… do you… you really think it’ll… be alright if we… do that?”

“We’re both frustrated,” Shouto reasoned. “It’s in our best interests, in the end. I trust you.”

“I trust you too,” Izuku said quickly. “Of course I do. We’re teammates. And I’d like to think we’re friends, too?”

T.G.I.W.Y. by Spidermonkeyyy (M) One shot ♥♥

College/University/5+1 things/Implied Sexual Content/Developing Relationship

5 times Izuku wakes up next to Todoroki Shouto after getting absolutely wasted, and the one time he doesn't.

or: a tddk college hook-up/fwb AU with none of the actual smut, none of the angsty pining and all of the fluffy feelings!

Kokoronashi by gravitates (T) 2/2 chapter ♥♥♥

Bakugo centric/Feelings Realization/Weddings

This is a story about love and forgiveness.

I'm not Yours by AgarJelly (T) One shot ♥♥♥

One-sided BKDK/Fluff and Angst

‘Has Kacchan been acting weird to you?’ Izuku turned his head from where it was resting on Shoto’s stomach and watched as the latter lowered his manga.

‘To me? No.’ He raised an eyebrow, scratching his nose absentmindedly. ‘To you? Yes, definitely.’

Do not touch by y0mgii (G) One shot ♥♥

Established Relationship/Todoroki is a little shit/Dorks in Love/Fluff and Humor

The day Shoto realized Izuku had a nice butt was simultaneously the best and worst day of his life.

Nineteen Pairs of Hands by ReadingToMusic (T) One shot ♥♥

Moving On/Characters are Pro heroes/POV Alternating

While graduating from UA, Katsuki swears he can feel his classmates and the friendship that comes with them dragging him down and away from his dream; the number one hero spot. He makes the executive decision to cut everyone off until he's climbed the ranks, convinced they'll all understand because of his motivation.

Shouto never thought he'd stand a chance with Izuku, even as close as they are, because of Bakugou. When Bakugou ghosts the class and Izuku doesn't chase him, instead choosing to accept that he's unwanted by his childhood friend and moving on with his life, Shouto realises his chances might not be as slim as he thinks.

Loser/Forsaker,Mover,Shaker by jukoist (T) 9/9 chapters

Emotional Hurt,comfort/Bakugo Katsuki Redemption/Truth Quirk/Bakugo faces Consequences

Midoriya gets hit by a truth Quirk, and his past relationship with Bakugou comes to light. Midoriya learns what it means to have people on his side; Bakugou learns what it means to face his mistakes head on. Dredging up the past is dirty, and painful, but it’s necessary if you want to heal.

AKA Protective 1-A, Hurt Midoriya, and Bakugou/Consequences.

ShinDeku:

Being A Bisaster (And Winning) by lilredpandacub One shot ♥♥

Getting Together/5+1 things/Shinsou centric

When Hitoshi finally got into the Hero course, he had thought he had considered all the outcomes, all the possible future obstacles that may hinder him. He had not taken into consideration one Midoriya Izuku and the boys ability to send Hitoshi's heart flying and his brain blue-screening at the best of times. Maybe he could try to turn the tables just this once?

Of Bad Decisions and Alcohol by unfinishedIdeas (T) One shot ♥♥

Bakugo faces consequences/Underage drinking/One-sided BKDK

Giving teenagers alcohol is a bad idea. Anyone who's watched a movie about high school kids knows this.

But for some reason, Aizawa likes his kids just enough to let them get away with sneaking in alcohol for a party. They're graduating in a few weeks anyway. It's their chance to be wild kids before they're sucked into hero society.

Of course, it's still teenagers and alcohol. It goes mostly fine.

a knight in a high school uniform by Shadowtravelingtitans (G) One shot ♥♥♥

Shinsou saves Midoriya with his brand new muscles multiple times but the hero fanboy thinks it's too good to be true.

But My Youth is Fleeting by prettyboydotexe (E) 8/8 chapters ♥♥

No Quirks/Summer Camp/Midoriya and Tomura are siblings/Aged-up characters/Slow Burn

“Why not ask to switch with Kaminari?” Neito asked once he swallowed his bite of food, fork waving delicate circles as he spoke. “I’m pretty sure he’s already pissed off Shinso anyways.” “Because Izu’s a bottom, he doesn’t switch,” Mei quipped without looking up. Izuku whined high in his throat. “That’s a good idea, though. Kaminari sleeps like the dead, and he’s got that whole will-they won't-they thing going on with Sero. He’d probably be down.”

Sweater Paws by I_have_lost_control_of_my_life (G) One shot ♥♥♥

Sharing Clothes/Pining Shinsou/No Quirks/Childhood Friends/Size Difference/Friends to Lovers

Izuku is too pretty, and Hitoshi is a disaster who's in love with his best friend.

Rated M by TheKirkwallChampion (M) One shot ♥♥

College,University/No Quirks/Humor/Secret Relationship

Shinso makes a dire mistake when failing to turn off his gaming headset after a release date day with his friends. Now Mina and all of Shinso’s other friends are able to hear what's happening between him and a mystery man they had no idea existed.

revenge is a dish best served during spring by Shookspeare (E) One shot ♥♥

Fluff and Crack and Smut/5+1 things/Top Shinsou/Bottom Midoriya/Whipped Shinsou/Established Relationship/No Quirks

Five times Hitoshi's and Izuku's cats interrupt their private time, and one time that Izuku has simply had enough.

really,a voice is what does it? by Shadowtravelingtitans (T) One shot ♥♥

Pre-Relationship/Canon Divergence

Izuku has a kink awakening when Shinsou calls Bakugou an ass for, well, being an ass and Uraraka finds his new found crush to be an immense source of amusement. Iida just wants to make sure everyone is following the rules.

Specific Type by MoonlitDawn (G) One shot ♥♥♥

Married Aizawa and Mic/Shinsou is in Class 1-A

"No loud blonds." Well, he said no loud blonds, nothing about the same type of sunshine person as the specific loud blond his dad was making fun of.

It was that, rare type of sunshine person that was oddly specific.

Oh well.

Dog Days by DogsInMyMind (T) One shot ♥♥♥

Twins Shinsou/Established Relationship/Fluff/Meet the Family

Hitoshi wasn't really hiding anything about his family but he wasn't particularly open about them either. Turns out not bringing his boyfriend home to meet them sooner was coming back to bite him in the ass.

Or alternatively: Hitoshi has a twin and he's kind of a jackass.

Written for ShinDeku Week 2018 [Day Three- Past]

Two Words For A Kiss by Dodadae (G) One shot ♥♥♥

Dating/Truth or Dare/Dork Midoriya/Shinsou is in Class 1-A

Hitoshi doesn't notice how Bakugou's little group suddenly goes quiet, because Izuku scrunches up his nose in that cute way he does sometimes and reaches up to hook a hand around Hitoshi's neck, before pulling him down for a kiss. He lets go after a second, but Hitoshi blinks down at him.

Izuku sees the look he's giving him, and pouts, "What?"

"What-" Hitoshi struggles to find the words, "That was... sudden."

ShinDekuTodo

Heroich and Other Things That Don't Require Superpowers by The Narator (T) 47/47 chapters ♥♥♥

Quirkless Midoriya/Gen Ed Midoriya/Analyst Midoriya/Fix-It/Slow Burn/Hurt comfort/Dadzawa/Dadmic/Bakugo faces consequences/Polyamory

Izuku doesn't have a quirk. That's the long and short of it. After being told his whole life he can't be a hero, General Education at UA is the best he can hope for, right? Wrong. Dead Wrong. So super wrong that his best friend from Gen Ed, all of Class 1A and a whole mess of Pro Heroes are going to prove to him how wrong he is. Izuku has the makings of a hero, and his lack of a quirk only throws those qualities into starker relief. After all, who wants to be as strong as All Might when you can be the cleverest hero in the business?

DabiDeku:

Everything About Him was Warm by Soundsoftherain (G) One shot ♥♥♥

Alternate Universe/Villain Midoriya/Domestic Fluff/Izuku is 19 Dabi is 20/Long term Relationship

Izuku spends a lazy Saturday morning with his boyfriend.

Stitches and Kisses by FilthyRiddle (G) One shot ♥♥

Villain Midoriya/Protective Dabi/Quirkless Midoriya/Domestic Fluff

They may both be villains, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care for one another.

You Said You'd Meet Me There by littlewonderlandgirl (G) One shot ♥♥

No Quirks/Musician Dabi/Teacher Midoriya/Stranges to Lovers

In the excitement of his ex wanting to get back together, Katsuki forgets all about the date he had planned with Izuku. Thankfully, a knight in tattooed armor rescues him from total embarrassment,

No Pairs:

What Practical? by IncompleteSentanc (G) One shot ♥

Good Teacher Aizawa/All Might Critical/Bakugou faces consequences

When All Might comes to him to report an injury during a practical in the very first week of school, Aizawa has one glaring question. What practical?

Trust by Violet_Rose_Of_Darkness (T) One shot ♥♥

What-if/Fix-it/Bakugou faces consequences

All Might makes a different call when he finds Bakugou and Midoriya fighting. AU

Freudian Slip by halfyon (G) One shot ♥♥

Fluff and Angst/Hurt Comfort/5+1 things

Izuku’s lack of a dad finally catches up to him.

OR: The four times Izuku accidentally calls Aizawa 'dad' and the one time that it isn't accidental.

The Boy Who Called Wolf by halfyon (G) One shot ♥

Fluff and Angst/Dadzawa/5+1 things 3+1 actually

Shouta hates answering phone calls and Midoriya doesn’t seem to understand the warning ‘do not ever call me unless it’s an absolute emergency’.

AKA: Three times Izuku calls Aizawa for mostly inane reasons and the one time Shouta doesn't pick up when it really matters.

When Realities Collide by LowlyWriter (T) 13/13 chapters ♥♥♥

Alternate Reality/Emotional Hurt/Bakugou faces consequences/Dadzawa/Implied Referenced Suicide/Hero Student Midoriya/Villain Midoriya

Shota sneers at the teenager across from him. His defense raises like the hairs on the back of his neck as he glares steadily, ready and waiting for whatever will come from this encounter. He narrows his gaze when the teen shifts; just the thought of sharing this rooftop with Japan's most notorious villain makes his skin prickle. “Deku.”

“Y-yes!” the teenager cries out in relief, taking a small step towards Shota, “I’m Deku! I’m so g-glad you—”

“Deku,” Shota growls darkly, flicking out his capture weapon hastily to snag the villain before he can make his move. He's quick to tug it taut, leaving no room for Deku to escape. “You’re under arrest.”

“I-I’m what?! W-wait!”

[bussyslayer333]

Take it

summary: jake seresin is the worst best friend in the world.

pairing: jake seresin x best friend!reader

word count: 4.3k

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, smut, face sitting, jake sucks but makes up for it hehe, MDNI 18+

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿

You hated Jake Seresin.

That wasn’t true, but it was much easier to say that. To tell the wholehearted truth you were pretty sure you’d been in love with him since the day you met him a year and a bit ago. (1 year 5 months and 12 days if we’re getting specific).

You were on a bar crawl for one of your friends birthdays the day you met, everyone dressed as either sexy cowgirls or sexy aliens. Jake had taken an interest in your hot pink cowgirl hat and daisy dukes that left little to the imagination.

“Howdy, cowgirl.” He had drawled, making you giggle girlishly in your drunken state.

“Wow, a real life cowboy!” You had slurred, flicking at his toned chest.

Jake steadied you as you wobbled, inebriated, on your heeled cowgirl boots.

“Easy, tiger,” he murmured as you slumped against him, drawing circles on his pecs.

Jake was the one to take you home that night, nothing had happened, but he had made sure you got home safe once all your friends had dispersed. It was that nurturing nature of his that you wished so dearly for other people to see, and it often left you wondering what would have happened if your hadn’t drank that last vodka cranberry before you made your way to the Hard Deck.

“Open wide kitty!” Jake laughs, trying to stick your toothbrush in your mouth.

You groan from where you’re sat on your bathroom counter, nursing what felt like your worst hangover yet. It was a common occurrence for Jake to sleep at your apartment after a night out, just as common for him to share your bed.

You finally opened your mouth so Jake could stick your toothbrush in, you stared into his green eyes with a somewhat lovesick expression as he brushed your teeth for you. It was far too intimate for two people who labelled themselves ‘best friends’.

But that’s how it always seemed to be with Jake, toeing a line, will they won’t they. Ultimately, you figured Jake just wasn’t into you.

“Spit.” Jake tapped your cheek, happy with his brushing job.

He held your hair back as you spat into the sink,

“I’m not a baby,” you whined, climbing onto him so he could take you to your couch.

Jake laughed at your whinging, “Stop acting like one then.”

You went to dispute him again but realised your position; hanging off of him like a baby koala. Instead you make a little ‘hmmph’ noise and smush you’re face into the side of his neck. You finally feel his body dip onto your couch and look up from where you’re perched on his lap.

It’s unfair that he can look so good after so little sleep. Your eyes rake down his bare chest, biting your lip subconsciously.

“I’m not a piece of meat kitty.”

You roll your eyes, smacking his hard chest, “Shut up.”

Jake’s smirking down at you, there’s nothing he loves more than riling you up.

“If you want me you can just tell me darlin’, I know I’m irresistible.”

Your eyes must see more of the back of your head than the world round you, you reach for Jake’s ray bans that he discarded on your coffee table last night and balance them on your face. You pout in pose slightly for Jake to see.

Jake’s heart twangs slightly watching you giggle on top of him, draped in his shirt and now wearing his sunglasses. Truth be told, Jake was head over heels for you.

“How do I look?” You question with a giggle.

The last thing you expected in answer was Jake to surge forward and kiss you. His lips melded with yours like nothing you’ve ever felt before, it was all the pent emotions and words unspoken all wrapped up under the guise of a kiss. He tasted minty like your toothpaste that he always steals. You’re hand threads through the bottom of his hair at the base of his neck and it finally seems to rouse him. He pulls back and looks at you with wide eyes, pushing his sunglasses up to the top of your head.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t be,” You whine breathlessly.

Jake takes this as a sign and cups your face with both hands, connecting your lips once again. It’s messy and your hands are running through his hair haphazardly. Just as Jake slips his tongue into your mouth, his phone begins to ping in his pocket. You pull back with a giggle and watch Jake groan, the texts are from Bradley. It’s his birthday today and Jake is supposed to be with him before you go out again tonight for more celebrations.

chicken 😒

where are you????

get ur ass here rn

i will literally fart on your pillow if u don’t hurry up

do u want to have pink eye bagman?

You’re still laughing at the texts when Jake pipes up,

“This man is 35 and threatening to fart on my pillow.”

When you finally manage to kick Jake out 20 minutes later, he’s giving you one final kiss before he’s out the door.

“See you later pretty girl.”

You peck him quickly again, “Bye cowboy.”

Whilst getting ready for Bradley’s birthday drinks you find your mind consistently wandering to Jake. Will he like what you’re wearing? He likes when you put shimmery eyeshadow on, right? Is he gonna tell everyone about you? Are you his girlfriend now?

The last question makes your stomach flutter in excitement. Surely you weren’t just friends anymore. Once you finished the final touches on your makeup you slip on your mini skirt,pull your strappy top over your head and bend down to pull your wedges on. You slide your lipgloss into your purse and decide you’re ready to go.

When you get to the Hard Deck you can already see Phoenix and Bob giggling on a bench outside, nursing a few beers. When they see you they call you over with a wave,

“Hey babe!” Phoenix smiles lazily, you’re pretty sure she’s been here a while.

You kiss her and Bob on the cheek and pipe up, “Have you guys seen Jake?”

They both share a giggle and a knowing look, “Lover boy is inside.” Phoenix chuckles.

You roll your eyes at your two friends who are giggling like school girls and step into the bar, scanning the area for Jake. You first catch sight of Bradley and quickly jog over to wish him a happy birthday.

“Hey birthday boy!” You cheer, as he wraps an arm around your waist.

“Hey gorgeous,” Bradley’s cheeks are already rouged from the alcohol he’s consumed.

You pull a card from your purse that you couldn’t resist giving to Bradley, his eyes light up as you hand it over to him. He all but tears it open to find a card with a cartoon chicken wearing a party hat on it, he snorts and mumbles “rooster” then opens it to read your sweet little message. Once he’s finished reading he places a wet kiss on your cheek and whispers,

“No one else got me a card.” You frown slightly but realise that none of the team seem the type really.

Rooster corrects himself, “Bob did, and Mav and Penny. But yours is the best.”

You sigh in relief, Bob loved birthday cards and you would have been shocked had Rooster not received one from him.

“I’m glad you like it Bradley.”

Bradley’s arm is still wrapped around your waist and he squeezes you in acknowledgment.

“Drinks?” You question and Bradley smiles,

“Definitely.”

You make you way over to the bar top, still scanning what seemed to be a doubled crowd for Jake’s form.

Penny catches your eye and mouths “The usual?” and you nod, eyes still searching.

That’s when you spot the back of his head on the opposite side of the bar, and a female hand raking through the short hair at the nape of his neck. You crane your head around enough to see that the female hand is connected to a body whose lips are connected to Jake’s. Nausea is the only thing you feel, you’re frozen in place gawking at Jake and his gorgeous new friend. When Jake pulls back from the kiss he meets your widened eyes immediately. He feels guilt pool in his stomach, but quickly pushes it down. He saw you flirting with Bradley, who cares if he kisses someone else. The guilt comes back as he watches you rush out quickly.

You can feel Jake following after you but you don’t have the heart to turn back. It’s only when you stumble slightly on the gravelled parking lot of the Hard Deck that Jake catches up to you.

“Kitty, wait!”

You roll your eyes with much more venom than he’s ever seen as you turn around to face him, Jake’s stomach drops when he sees the tears pooling in your lash line.

“Just go back Jake, I’m sure if you’re quick that girl will still be waiting.”

It’s Jake’s turn to roll his eyes, “Sure and I’ll go find Bradley for you.”

“What?”

“I saw you with him earlier.”

“It’s his birthday Jake!”

“He kissed you!”

“On the cheek! How many times has he done that to you?”

Jake recalls all the drunken cheek kisses from Bradley he’s been on the receiving end of. He’s a very affectionate lump when he wants to be.

“Fuck, kitty wait!”

You’re already back to your car by the time Jake has pulled himself out of his thoughts. Jake watches you drive off feeling like a prize idiot.

When he walks back into the Hard Deck Bradley is onto him immediately, asking where you went. He’s heavy on Jake, clearly enjoying all the drinks he’s been bought with his birthday boy badge on.

“I miss her.” Bradley whines into Jake’s ear.

“Me too.”

The next day when you wake up, you somehow feel worse than how you usually feel with a hangover. The embarrassment and hurt from last night flooding your whole body.

You spend the first half of the morning moping around your apartment in your pyjamas. It’s just gone 12 when you hear the buzzer for your apartment ring. You groan aloud, not moving and willing that the person at your door just goes away. However, your phone screen lights up with a text from Bradley.

bradbrad

open the door smh

i know ur in there

You roll your eyes but let a small smile grace your face. At least it wasn’t Jake. You look through your peephole to find Bradley stood in a hoodie and sweatpants with sunglasses on and a huge bouquet in his hands. Furrowing your eyebrows you open the door.

“Hey gorgeous,” he smiles kindly, walking into your apartment.

He flops down onto the couch and pushes his sunglasses onto his head, you giggle slightly at how tired his bloodshot eyes look.

“Geez, Brad you look dreadful.” You pat his shoulder, taking the spot next to him on your couch.

He grimaces, “and you look radiant as ever.” He flicks your mussed updo that you had clearly slept in.

“Yeah, okay, why are you here?” You tuck your legs under yourself.

Bradley nods to the huge bouquet of flowers taking up the space on his lap. They’re beautiful lilies with a pink card tucked into the wrapping, he hands them over to you and chuckles slightly as you try to hold them all.

“Sorry, can you take these again, let me get a vase.”

You shove the flowers back into Bradley’s hands and hunt down the large vase your mother had insisted you kept “in case a boy wanted to buy you flowers!”. You find it tucked beside one of your kitchen cabinets and fill it partly with water before returning to the living room. You place the vase on the coffee table and reach for the flowers, plucking the pink message card out before carefully placing the flowers into the vase.

The pink card has scrawl that you immediately recognise on it, it reads;

My best girl,

i’m sorry for being a dick

forgive me?

yours,

J xo

Hurt twinges in your chest at his messy handwriting and earnest words. It hurts because you know him well enough to figure that he means it and that he spent enough time at a florists to pick out your favourite flowers. But it hurts most to know that he still kissed someone who wasn’t you, purposefully to get back at you.

Bradley pats at your knee, waking you from your trance.

“He sent me with them, he was worried you wouldn’t even take them if he tried.”

You groan, “he’s such a dick!”

Bradley shrugs, as much as he would have once agreed with you, Bradley had never seen Jake so messed up about something. When he showed up at Bradley’s house at 8am with a huge bouquet of lilies Bradley had initially thought he was having some strange maladaptive dream, but when Jake started rambling about how he had fucked the one good thing in his life up, he knew it was serious.

“Hear him out?” Bradley tries cautiously.

Before you can roll your eyes Bradley speaks up again,

“You’re still coming to the beach tonight?”

You groan. You’d forgotten about the last day of Bradley’s birthday celebrations, a beach bonfire. You’d promised him you would be there weeks ago, it was surely too cruel to cancel on the day of.

“Sure, fine.”

Bradley squeezes you hand before standing up and heading towards the door,

“9pm. Be there in something skimpy!”

You flip him off as he lets himself out with a cackle.

The beach was busy when you arrived, probably everyone Bradley knew and their friends were there. Your stomach flip flopped and you considered spinning on your heel when you caught a glimpse of Jake’s silhouette but Phoenix spotted and called you over before you could make your swift exit.

She makes her way over to you with an apprehensive smile on her face, you figure Bradley told her what happened with Jake.

“Hey,” she links her arm into yours, her presence already settling your nerves.

“Hi,” You breathe out, allowing her to steer you towards the party.

Bradley catches sight of you and cheers loudly, grabbing everyone (including Jake’s) attention. It makes you cringe slightly but you straighten yourself out and smile at him.

“Hey gorgeous! You look great,” Bradley pulls you out of Phoenix’s grip and makes you do a little twirl.

It makes you feel a little silly but you’re mostly grateful that at least someone can appreciate your tiny bikini. Jake’s gaze is hot on your back, you can feel his eyes raking over you. Maybe it’s cruel for you to purposefully ignore him but the little devil on your shoulder reminds you that he deserves it.

Phoenix stays by your side all night, dancing and drinking and distracting you from Jake’s gaze. It works well until she’s pulled away from you by Bob and suddenly Jake’s by your side.

“Please can we talk?” Jake pleads in your ear.

He’s stood behind you, you can feel the heat from his body warming your back. You want nothing more than to lean back into him, be encapsulated by Jake. But, your will is strong and Jake had once told you he admired your pettiness so you stand your ground not to his surprise.

“Fuck off.”

Bit harsh, but nothing you know he can’t handle.

You turn to leave but he weaves his way in front of you, sad green eyes staring into you.

“Please, kitty.”

It’s unfair, how just looking at his face can make you crumble. Jake Seresin is a cruel, cruel man.

“Fine.”

You let Jake lead you further away from everyone, closer towards where everyone’s cars are parked. He sits down on the sand and looks up at you. You take a seat next to him, your bare leg knocking against his absentmindedly.

The tide has come in significantly and the way the waves lap idly at the sand in front of you helps to calm the nerves in your stomach.

“I’m sorry.” Jake whispers.

You raise your eyebrows at him, and Jake winces. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy but he thought the flowers were a nice touch.

“I know I fucked up, okay? I really like you darlin’, the type of like that I think is love but I’m too scared to say it because I somehow always fuck the good things in my life up.” Jake takes a deep breath, “and you’re the best thing, my best girl. I’m surprised you stuck around me so long, I know I deserve it but please don’t ignore me, it’s only been a day and I’m already losing my mind out here sweetheart.”

You sit in silence for a few seconds, processing Jake’s word vomit.

“Do you mean it?”

Jake looks at your side profile, studying every minuscule detail.

“Mean what?” He mumbles.

“You love me?”

Jake reaches a hand out, he grazes his knuckle along your cheekbone and sighs.

“More than anything.”

You hadn’t looked at him properly yet, worried he’d take pity on your sad face but his admission draws you in. Jake frowns at the sight of your glossy eyes and reaches his other hand forward so he can cradle your face.

“I’m so fucking sorry kitty.”

You giggle slightly and he quirks a brow, “You loooove me,” you tease with a watery voice.

Jake chuckles and leans in closer and closer until his lips are millimetres away from yours.

“Can I?” He asks.

You hum in mock consideration for a few seconds and Jake squeezes your cheeks into a pout. Finally you grace him with an answer.

“If you must.”

Jake’s lips are soft on yours. Tentative. Like he wants to do it right this time, showing you just how much he cares. It’s sweet and intoxicating but when his tongue traces your lower lip you pull back.

“You’re not forgiven just yet.”

Jake knew he wouldn’t be able to get way so easily, luckily he had a plan that would benefit the both of you.

He stands abruptly, taking your hand in his and guiding you up with him. He lets his hand drift to your waist and he plays with the strings of your bikini as he guides you towards the multitude of cars parked behind where you had just been sat. From the car park Bradley’s bonfire is a small beacon of light quite far away, so Jake isn’t too worried about someone walking in on what he plans to do.

When you realise you’re headed for Jake’s truck you halt in your walk,

“Can I go say goodbye to everyone before we leave?”

Jake smiles down at you before opening the back door to his truck, “We’re not leaving.”

You quirk an eyebrow at him as he helps you into the backseats of his truck. The way he’s smirking down at you fills your stomach with excitement.

Jake finally offers you an explanation, “I want to show you how sorry I am,” He reaches for the strings of your bikini bottoms once again, holding his hands against them, not quite undoing them just yet.

“Did you wear this for me?” He smirks.

You roll your eyes, “For Bradley.”

Jake scoffs pulling at the string on the left side of your bikini bottoms. They stay in place as he reaches for the other side but you raise your hand to signal him to stop. Jake leans back from you, head resting against the window.

“What do we say?” You tease at him.

Jake smiles at you, he likes you like this. Thinking you’re in charge. Jake pouts in mock confusion then spits out the magic word,

“Please, kitty.”

Your core clenches at the way Jake is staring down at you. You swallow before nodding, prompting Jake to reach for the other bikini string. He pulls at it slowly, mesmerised by the way it unravels. Once it’s fully undone you sit up on your knees and let the fabric slip off of you. Jake sucks in a breath as he finally catches sight of your pussy.

“Sit on my face.”

“What?” You giggle somewhat breathlessly.

Jake had never asked a girl to do that before, but looking at you in this moment he’s never been so sure of anything.

“Please.” He almost whines.

Jake’s desperation makes your stomach flip, a wave of arousal flooding through you. You reach forwards and crash your lips together, allowing his tongue entrance. Jake’s hands find their way to the back of your neck where strings hold together your bikini top. He has less patience this time, simply pulling at them until your breasts are free. He pulls back from the kiss to admire your naked form, instead of feeling self conscious Jake’s gaze makes you feel confident. Especially with how you can see his cock straining against his trunks.

Jake manœuvres himself as best he can so that his head is resting against one of the seats and he’s lying on his back, his hands resting on your waist as you straddle his chest. The feeling of his warm skin and sprinkling of chest hair is almost euphoric against you.

“Are you sure?” You ask him.

“Never been more so.” Jake replies breezily, hands reaching out to palm at the fat of your ass.

You hum, moving upwards until your pussy is hovering over his mouth. Jake licks his lips at the sight of your glistening arousal, you can feel the vibration of every breath he takes against you. Jake’s hands move to pull you down onto his mouth and you reach a hand out onto the window to stable yourself.

Jake licks a stripe up your pussy, tongue flat. It makes you squeal in pleasure, other hand coming down to tangle into his hair. He makes kitten licks at your clit, swirling and then moving his tongue down to gather your juices. The movement makes your hips circle against him, riding his face. You worry slightly about smothering Jake, but you’re mind is wiped as he grips at your ass, pulling you down harder onto his mouth, moaning into your pussy at the taste of you.

His enthusiasm makes you giggle which is quickly turned into a squeak as Jake dips his tongue into your hole, nose nudging against your clit with every thrust. Jake fucks his tongue into you over and over again, making your eyes roll into the back of your head, moans spilling from your lips in a constant babble. The tight knot in your stomach beginning to form. Jake removes his tongue from your hole and starts to lick and swirl at your clit again, he moves one of his hands from the tight grip on your ass and brings it towards your hole. You can feel his middle finger tease your entrance before dipping in.

“Fuck, Jake.” You whimper as he uses his other hand to guide you in continuing to ride his face and hand. The knot in your stomach tightens as Jake moans loudly into your pussy. It gives you a sneaky feeling that he’s enjoying this as much as or maybe even more than you. He increases the speed at which he’s curling his finger inside of you and flicks at you clit with his tongue with renewed vigour, finally sending you over the edge.

You’re a moaning mess as white hot pleasure hits you, hips rolling erratically down onto Jake’s face and jerking upwards as he tries to continue his ministrations of licking up your juices. Jake finally lets his grip on your ass loosen and he pulls his finger from you, allowing you to move off of him and straddle against his waist. Jake hisses sensitively.

Your brows furrow and you look down to see a dark blue stain against Jake’s light blue swim trunks. A teasing smirk forms on your lips, but you can’t help the shock of arousal that shoots through you.

“Did you..?” You nod down to the incriminating patch.

Jake looks embarrassed for a second before recovering, “You taste and sound incredible kitty, can you blame me?”

You flush under his compliments and reach down to peck at his lips,

“You’re incredible, Jake.”

He pecks you a few more times before sitting up,

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

Your eyes roll lovingly at Jake’s comment and you reach to peck at his lips again before a knock at the fogged up window interrupts you. You’re nervous for a split second before Bradley’s obnoxious laugh fills your ears. Jake’s arms wrap protectively around your waist, covering your modesty before he presses the button to allow the windows to roll down slightly.

“Fuck off, Bradshaw.” Jake yells before doing the window up again.

You can hear Bradley’s cackles as he yells to who you presume is Phoenix.

“I told you they’d fuck and make up!”

The next morning when Jake Seresin wakes up in your bed it seems like nothing has changed. However, your presence is absent, bringing a frown to Jake’s face.

He wanders through your apartment to find you in the kitchen, humming a tune and wiggling your hips enticingly. You’re wearing one of Jake’s shirts and some very small sleep shorts. The sight makes Jake groan, alerting you of his presence. You turn and beeline for him, jumping into his arms, legs wrapping around his waist.

“Morning, handsome.” You smile, kissing at his cheek.

Jake basks in the attention, “How’s my gorgeous girlfriend on this fine morning?”

You giggle at his words, “You’re corny.”

“You love me.”

“Maybe.”

Jake sighs, and licks at your cheek over and over again making you shriek in disgust.

“Fine! I love you!” You squeal at him.

He beams, “knew it.”

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿

a/n: FINALLY FINISHED WRITING SMTH!!!!

i hope this is up to standard, this is a request i got ages ago and finally finished 😭😭😭

jake is my lover boy which means I KNOW HE MAKES MISTAKES but i love him and care about him anyways

also i know he this man eats cooch like a pro so i want NO arguments !

pls comment, reblog, or send me and ask and tell me what u think !!!

thank u for reading :)))

- honey <333

[xixovart]

my rrverse headcanons that i will save in my drafts until it explodes

possible tw for mentions of weaponry and violence!! (bullet point no.5)

nico with heterochromia?? im?

a LOT of aphrodite kids are pansexual. somethinf about love knowing no bounds or restrictions to gender because love is a connection to the soul or whatever

actually on that idea a lot of aphrodite kids are under the non binary umbrella :)

spreading the deaf will solace agenda

annabeth goes to a shooting range to relieve stress

she got that from thalia

i just need you to picture how unbelievably destroyed thalia must’ve been when they told her about luke.

alex fierro really likes cupcakes. but he’s like. ashamed of it?? for some reason

one time magnus walked in on her while she was eating some red velvet? hilarious interaction.

“magnus it’s not what ir looks like i swear.”

”what? you use someone’s blood to make those?”

rip bianca di angelo you would’ve loved ratatouille. i don’t know.

kayla really likes mac n cheese. i really don’t know.

chris wnd beckendorf have an unmatched ‘our gfs are best friends but ngl we’re kinda gay for each other’ bromance

percy is REAAALLLYYY good at makeup

thalia is surprisingly good at volleyball?

frank once accidentally knocked down an entire grocery store isle… somehow.

hazel really likes ladybugs

“long day?” “tell me about it. keep em coming.” except it’s kayla pouring will grape soda into a wine glass when they were 12 after a day in the infirmary

unpopular opinion: will relentlessly finds loopholes for rules (and sometimes blatantly breaks them) while nico hates rule-breaking. one was raised in rich 1940s europe and the other is texan. guess who.

annabeth and will bonded over their shared love of true crime podcasts

hazel gossips like a hairstylist

“don’t look at me like that, you’re not my real dad 😒” -11 year old annabeth to chiron after the ares cabin caught fire “unexpectedly. somehow. for no reason.”

percy used to swims in fountains and steals people’s coins

piper blasts chappell roan at unhealthy volumes. so does will. they bond over that

zoë nightshade was in the theater abe lincoln was killed in. don’t know where this came from.

piper and leo were the most chaotic duo that wilderness school ever bore witness to. there were several science room “accidents.” and the food in the kitchens went missing every week “unexpectedly”

magnus hearth and blitz used to sit on rooftops and throw water balloons at tourists. fathers-son bonding i lobe them

frank likes tarzan and kung fu panda an unhealthy amount (he was a horrible influence on hazel)

hazel once made random hand signals at a boy who was bothering her told him she cursed him

bianca was surprisingly good at sports?

thalia had to put saran wrap on every outlet in the house for two months when jason was a year old because he would NOT stop sticking his fingers in them

reyna cannot cook. she only knows how to make a surprisingly good lemonade. it’s insane.

hedge, on the other hand, is a freaking chef. he’s like the love child of a really smart goat and gordon ramsay

annabeth and thalia are both master pickpockets because of their time on the road

luke had a soft spot for gummy bears

silena was very calm and collected but the SECOND this girl stepped FOOT in a rage room she lost her SHIR

mallory hates math. like actually loathes math.

magnus is math smart and mallory is english smart

(book 1) halfborn and magnus are the prank lords of floor 19

alex joined them the second he showed up (he destroyed half the hotel withing his first 24 minutes there? duh?)

cecil hates twizzlers

lou ellen cecil and will are VERY competitive go kart-ers

rachel and hazel are artist buddies and go on drawing dates

chiron gets father’s day presents

someone proposed the idea of achilles and patroclus training nico post-ttc and pre-botl???? stop right now im losing my mind i love this

spreading the multilingual nico agenda

mr. d gave will his tattoo

grover and percy unironically watch rom coms every saturday while eating vegan candy and cry for the characters

grover and rachel’s friendship is INCREDIBLY??? underrated

i think we forget that grover bianca and nico went to school together and bianca and grover were friends. imagine the chaos.

lester and kayla had regular arm wrestling matches (kayla always won btw)

whenever austin’s mad at his cabinmates he wakes them up at the asscrack of drawn by playing we are the champions on his flute.

idk why but malcolm seems very gumball coded.

“wait, where are you going?” “to the brony convention in lietchenstein. where do you think im going????” -canon conversation between malcolm and annabeth

wasian grace siblings wasian grace siblings wasian grace siblings.

ethan is a really bad liar in non-greek related matters

will’s love language is that he points at literally the two most random things and says “us” to nico

“nico look it’s us!! :D” “solace those are two dead leaves on the floor” “yeah but they’re next to each other :)”

sally knows taekwondo. no one knows when or how she learned, she just does and it’s terrifying

alabaster is a plant mom

dakota seems like the type of kid to slump so deep in a chair that he ends up falling off. and then he just like. lays there.

castor and pollux have a concerning attraction to fire

travis stoll likes strawberries :)

connor stoll chunks strawberries at travis from half a km away and calls is “aiming practice”

katie has the temper of a chihuahua

(post-tlo) percy and clarisse pretend to hate each other but they’re actually friends who fight like siblings and it’s surprisingly endearing?