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bluepoodle7 · 1 year ago

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#BetaPokemon #TangelasBeta #NeopetsMeowclops #MyThoughts

If this beta Tangela's beta pre evolution returns with the beta evolution I'm calling it Doe.

Also if I ever get back into Neopets then calling this Meowclops Doe also.

Also Doe reminds me of Mawile.

I'm mad there is no fanart where Doe is one of these.

I know all Realtors are Palossands.

I can also see Doe as a Espurr and Meowstic line.

Daily Pokemon Review Day 339 - Espurr and Meowstic One of X/Y's most memeable mons, the Espurr family is another interesting line, notably because gender differences which automatically pique my interest in a pokemon. Does it build up and pay off or is this another "Hey, it's that thing, I forgot about that haha" day? Starting design, Espurr is a bipedal kitten mon that seems based on the scottish fold variety. It has a folded over ears, big lavender eyes that seem devoid of all emotion and thoughts, and some white tips at the ends of its limbs and ears. It's very fluffy and adorable, which is presumably what you want out of first stage kitten mon, suck it glameow. Espurr's psychic nature probably draws inspiration from the japanese yokai Nekomata, which are former housecats that lived for a very long time until their tails split and they gained supernatural powers. Nice inspiration for a pokemon. Meowstic's appearance is dependend on Espurr's gender, with the Male being the predominantly dark blue with the greenish eyes and white accents, and the Female being predominantly white with yellow/red eyes and dark blue accents. Very good evolutions, keeping the cute and not going the ugly monster route that they could have, I appreciate that. Still a little not quite there for what I would want and a bit boring for a psychic cat yokai, but it's definitely a passable look. Onto battle, both of Meowstic's genders are mono Psychic and have the same Stat breakdown: 74 HP, 48 Attack, 76 Defense, 83 Special Attack, 81 Special Defense, and 104 Speed. The two genders do differentiate in one other regard; both share Keen Eye and Infiltrator as Abilities but as for Hidden Abilities Female Meow gets Competitive and Male Meow gets Prankster. Pretty easy to see who won that coinflip. Prankster and Infiltrator are both primo Abilities, but sadly don't add a lot to either Meowstic due to their incredibly average Stats. The best way to play is with a Male Prankster and do what literally every other Prankster mon does: Spam Screens or Thunder Wave. There are some good gets in the pool besides that playstyle, Nasty Plot is a key bonus alongside Calm Mind, Dark Pulse, Energy Ball, and more, but they're still largely wasted on Meowstic with its 83 Special Attack. At least the Speed is good so that helps Prankster quite a bit, but not enough to actually warrant using this mon in the competitive scene. Final Rating 4/10 Pulling my punches a bit, but even with that Espurr and Meowstic don't make it through the gauntlet very well. The nekomata aesthetic and the gender differences are very big bonus points for this family, it's just a shame that they forgot to study for the battle portion of the... - I hope this isn't an Electrode, because I need a Master Ball | Facebook

John Doe would be a Giratina since he distorts the player in a loop and changes forms.

Favorite Giratina Form | Pokémon Amino (aminoapps.com)

Images not mine but links are there.

Gotta Critique 'Em All (bogleech.com)

Neopets Meowclops Petpet Plushie - With Tags! | eBay

Gelanla | Pokemon Wack Wiki | Fandom

My Top 5 Favourite Mega Evolutions!! | Pokémon Amino (aminoapps.com)

Palossand - #770 - Serebii.net Pokédex

Randomly found these John Doe Game endings fandubs.

I hope we get a really good asmr of Maison Talo and the other Realtors someday.

Or a Weird Al sounding Doe asmr.

Videos not mine but link is there.

John Doe Ending 1 FANDUBBED | JOHN DOE VOICE | (read description) (youtube.com)

John Doe Ending 2 FANDUBBED | JOHN DOE VOICE | (read description) (youtube.com)

John Doe Ending 3/4 FANDUBBED | JOHN DOE VOICE | (read description) (youtube.com)

#Beta Pokemon #Tangelas Beta #Neopets Meowclops #My Thoughts

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mxstball · 5 months ago

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Sapphire saw the glisten of a Latias appear in her room and then leave. It almost caught Sapphire off-guard.

"H--hey! It's okay! You can come in."

"..."

"...I promise I'm friendly...."

"...."

"H--hi." Tor suddenly appeared from the shimmering area. "S--sorry."

"N--no! It's fine. You're uh... Tor, right?"

Tor nodded.

"Come in! I wanna meet you!"

"..." Tor slowly entered and slowly walked over to the chair before sitting down. "uh... Do you like the door opened or--"

"You can close it."

Tor nodded and used her psychic abilities to close the door.

"Oh, you don't gotta sit on the chair. You can join me and Altaria on the bed."

Tor got up and sat down. She looked at the plush doll that was next to Sapphire. Now that she was sitting nearby, she could definitely tell that there was something... off... about that plush.... Actually, all six of the plush dolls were weird. Was it a residual effect of Sapphire being from another world or...

"...Do you want to hold one of my plushy friends?"

"H--huh!?" Tor was caught so off-guard. "Y--you sure? But we just--"

"Here!" Sapphire grabbed Gardevoir and gave it to Tor. "You seem like the type of girl that'd like Gardevoir."

"O--okay." Tor accepted the plush and looked at it. It wasn't particularly large for a plush -- only about half a meter -- but Tor could tell that the craftsmanship was well-done. The details were meticulously done... and it was soft to boot. Tor gave the plush a nice hug. It was so cuddly. No wonder why Sapphire kept it around. "It's cute."

"Right. I love Gardevoir so much." Sapphire giggled, allowing Tor to join in the giggling. Then, Sapphire asked a question. "Oh, you're uh... from mom's home world, right?"

"Uh-huh. I was born far after she disappeared, though. I knew her as The Great Ninja before I met her--"

"'The Great Ninja'?"

"The Great Ninja. She was a war hero during the Weather Wars between Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza. She even defeated Groudon by herself once--"

"Woah. Mom was that strong even then, huh?"

"Mmmhm. She... she's my inspiration. I wanted to be just as strong and protective as her." Tor hugged Gardevoir and swayed back and forth. Looks like Sapphire was right about Tor's affinity.

The two were silent for a little while as they took in each other's company. Tor never let go of Gardevoir. Somehow, it felt like holding Gardevoir was drawing her closer to Sapphire in some way. She couldn't exactly put her finger on it, but it was as if another Psychic-type was linking their emotions....

"...Gardevoir... she was my third ever Pokémon friend back home. I caught her as a Ralts and we traveled everywhere together."

"Did you... make a lot of Pokémon friends like Gardevoir?" Tor paused her hugging to look at the plush doll once again.

"...not many, no. That was Ruby's thing, really. I only caught a few special members and stuck with them. Gardevoir just happened to be one of them that I spent so much time with. Though, if I'm to be honest, she was like the big sister I never had."

"Gardevoir are pretty defensive of their trainers, after all." Tor nodded.

Sapphire nodded, too. "Mine wasn't any different. She made friends, of course, but she always stayed by my side. She was also a sobering part of my life. Whenever I was particularly sad or angry to the point where it feels like I can't control myself, I always looked to Gardevoir to help."

"Gardevoir sounds really nice, at least for a Fairy-type Pokémon...."

"?? Fairy-type?" Sapphire blinked. "Oh! Right. No, she's not a Fairy-type. They don't exist in my world."

"They don't...?"

"Nope. Gardevoir was a pure-Psychic-type."

"Pure Psychic?" Tor parroted to think about that statement. Now that she thinks about it, Tor was told that Lauren came from a world without Mega Evolution or Fairy-type Pokémon. It just never sunk in until now. "Ohhhh, okay. Well, then, your Gardevoir sounds really nice."

"Thank you. I miss her so much, too."

Tor looked down at the plush doll before giving it back to Sapphire. She could tell that Sapphire's mood when reminiscing was starting to dwindle. "Here. Maybe Plushie Gardevoir can help with your feelings, too."

"Thanks." Sapphire accepted the plush again. Now, she was hugging it. "Honestly, even though this is just a plushie and Gardevoir's gone, sometimes I like to imagine that she's still here... helping to soothe me through the plushie. So, that's why I still love this little thing so much."

Just then, Tor felt something. It was as if a small wave of emotional Psychic energy was being channeled, almost like an actual Gardevoir was using their psychic abilities to sooth their trainer. It was enough to get Tor's acute attention.

...Are you sure that you're speaking in just metaphor, Sapphire?

#tor #sapphire #verse: main

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insecateur · 2 years ago

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Ok I heard you say somewhere you also like professor birch so i'm very curious to ask your opinion on the mainline pokemon profs

Also damn you, you are lowkey making me want to practice my french again

yes!! birch is my favorite pokémon prof actually :^) i haven't drawn him in so long i would like to draw him again at some point... and maybe write something about him also...

i'm so sorry that i'm inspiring you to get back into the cursed hell language that is french. i'm (somehow) picking up writing in french again and remembering all of our nightmare tenses is filling me with dread

opinions on mainline pokémon profs (chronological order)

putting it under a cut just so it's not too annoying LMAO

oak: i like him a lot!! i love that he has such a stocky build... he's so THICK in pokémas it's so funny. he's the OG obviously so you gotta respect that but i do just like him in general.

elm: he was actually my favorite pokémon prof as a kid... i loved him in the anime, there was something about him being so tsundere about oak lmao. i like that he is a nerd and i like that his area of expertise is pokémon eggs, i think it's cute!

birch: MY BELOVED... i think birch needs more love... he is My Type. (beard. kind of a mess.) i find the way he seems to get attacked by wild pokémons a lot very moe. my headcanon is that he was apprentice pokémon prof alongside sycamore and maybe... they had a thing together... (i would like to write about it someday perhaps...)

rowan: oji-san... i like his mustache... obviously he's augustine's mentor so i like him. if i were learning to become a pokémon prof under prof rowan i would simply have a crush on him... it's inevitable... also i like that he's very outwardly stern and serious which contrasts with the previous profs who are more chill.

juniper: my gen5 knowledge is lacking bc it's the region that interests me the least but i do like her! her area is interesting and i like that her dad is also a pokémon prof. i remember liking her when i played bw (did not play b2w2 sadly)

sycamore: nasty man. never seen this guy in my life. would not trust him ever. j/k I WAS VERY NEGATIVE ABOUT HIM AT FIRST... he kind of checks all the cliché french guy boxes which annoyed me at the time LOL but obviously i have Come Around. i like the subtleties of his personality! i wish he had played a bigger role in the games tbh

kukui: my second favorite... i drew SO MUCH art of him when sumo was first announced. i like that he is basically the chillest guy but also very dedicated to what he's passionate about, which funnily enough is opposite to what sycamore is into (i.e. battling) HIM LIKE... letting pokémons use their moves on him to study them. absolute chad. also he's hot

magnolia: i'm so sad she's basically a non-entity in the games lol we finally got a new female prof and... well. i know it's because she's basically About To Let Sonia Take Over The Mantle but it makes me sad... i feel like pokémon has a bunch of older ladies and i wish they could get bigger roles!

sonia: idk if she counts??? she's listed as a mainline prof on the bulbapedia page so i'll say she counts. i like her! i actually really liked the whole storyline where hop realizes he wants to become a pokémon prof and he starts studying under her etc... it was very sweet. also i like her design. her 6* EX in pokémas looks gooood

laventon: I LOVE LAVENTON SO MUCHHHH HE'S SOOO CUTE i love his bobble hat... i love his fashion sense... legitimately one of my favorite PLA characters i've been meaning to draw him for ages and still haven't because my brain is too busy rotating the two same french men over and over

cannot really say much about the new profs for the next gen because we don't know anything about them LOL i love the past/future theming though. they are both hot and i appreciate that. i like that turo is wearing a futuristic skin-tight suit—

#la réponse d #idk if this was satisfying anon LMAO it was fun though!#also here's my bonus opinion about prof willow from pogo:#i understand why people are into him bc he's basically an outdoorsy dad type but i wish there was more to him than that tbh

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bamfdaddio · 3 years ago

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X-Men Abridged: 1981 - the Body-Swap

The X-Men, those body-swapping mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. We’ve been untangling that history for a while, but sometimes, you really want a more in-depth look. Interested? Then read the (un)Abridged X-Men!

(Uncanny X-Men 151 - 152) - by Chris Claremont and Josef Rubinstein

Emma Frost and her frenemy Ororo Munroe have not been getting along! One fateful evening, as the two quibble away, they mysteriously switch bodies and minds. Talk about your Freaky Friday! What lessons will they learn, walking a mile in one another’s shoes? And will they be able to switch back, or will they stay in each other’s bodies forever? Mutant Monday, coming soon to a cinema near you. Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Angela Bassett and Elliot Page. (PG-13)

For a moment, we’re in a proper period drama: a letter delivers ill tidings!

I love that Kitty’s parents are so self-involved that it took them A WHOLE YEAR to realize that it’s weird that Kitty is the only non-adult attending the Xavier Institute.

I can only assume the mailman interrupted a pool party of some kind? Or a communal shower? I get why Kurt would not swim a lot - all that fur - but did Scott wear that while they were splashing around? Was it a beach volleyball competition where one half got to wear swimsuits and the other half superhero costumes? Most importantly, was Scott’s costume always this tight?

Not that I’m complaining, mind you.

The awful thing is that Kitty’s parents are transferring her to the Massachusetts Academy, not realizing that headmistress Emma Frost is, in fact, a terrible human being. Charles, uncharacteristically, says that changing their minds telepathically is a line he does not cross (any more) and half the viewing audience bursts out in laughter. More importantly, last they saw Emma, she was kind of dead-by-Phoenix, so it might be better there this time? Kitty does a Classic Teenage Stomp-Off and Storm comes to comfort her. Kitty cries that life is unfair (“My parents are only doing this because they’re splitting up”) and Ororo tells her that yes, life is unfair. You just gotta roll with the punches as best you can.

To be fair, bald men are technically all cheek, so it doesn’t matter where you kiss them.

While I enjoy the relationship Kitty has with the other X-Men (Scott gave her a compliment! Logan told her his name!), especially the mother-daughter-bond she shares with Ororo, the whole Piotr-thing always gives me pause. Even if we’re being very generous with age, Kitty is, what? 14 going on 15? And Piotr is… 19? At best? I get why Kitty would have a crush on him: he’s a gentle hunky giant: at fifteen, my teenage ass would have felt the exact same viz-a-viz Colossus’ upper arms. The fact that Piotr reciprocates feels skeevy, though, especially because they’re always treated like star-crossed idiots these days.

Skee-vy.

Ororo drives Kitty to Massachusetts, where her young ward is greeted by someone named Muffy and whisked away for orientation. All seems well. Ororo stands in a parlour, surveying the grounds and considering that they should have fought harder for Kitty. Still, nothing seems too wrong just yet: this Academy just seems very preppy.

Not-at-all-dead Emma takes her cue and jumps out, saying (essentially): “Surprise motherfucker.”

There’s a flash of light, and then...

I’m willing to bet that Emma’s EVIL journal has the following to-do-list: - Steal Storm’s body. - Experiment with her powers. - See how good Storm looks in white. (Leather? Fur?! Both!??) - REWARD: Smoke break.

I wonder if Emma’s plan hinged on being able to body-swap with Storm, or whether any X-Man would have sufficed. Was her original target Xavier? Cyclops? What if one of Kitty’s parents had brought her to Massachusetts, would she have taken Kitty instead?

In a locked cell, Storm wakes up in Emma’s body and is horrified. I wonder why Emma didn’t take any more precautions. Couldn’t the guy who made the freaky friday-gizmo also make a power dampener to nullify not!Emma’s telepathic abilities? Or did Emma count on her victim being so utterly incapacitated by her mind-powers that they’d be driven mad? (This would actually tie in with some of Emma’s later-revealed history: when her powers first emerged, she also got locked away in a padded room because of her madness.)

Emma is not wrong, by the way: Storm can’t get a handle on Emma’s powers. What follows is possibly the sweetest moment in an arc filled with sweet moments:

This arc isn’t drawn by any of the regulars - not Byrne, not Cockrum - but Josef Rubinstein brings his own kind of panache to the pages. I love the way he draws women’s faces: in a story that’s all about women, their faces are actually distinguishable. Kudoz.

Emma, meanwhile, coordinates with Sebastian Shaw to execute the second part of their two-pronged attack on the X-Men. They both laugh evilly in their phones while the mansion is attacked by Sentinels! These androids take out Cyclops and Xavier with some sleeping gas and knock out Nightcrawler, but the rest of the X-Men manage to trounce these robots. Then ‘Storm’ appears! She zaps the rest of the X-Men (and Amanda Sefton), successfully finishing their master-plan.

It’s not entirely clear what the Hellfire Club wants with the X-Men this time, but I’m assuming it’s more experimentation to improve the sentinels? Eh, doesn’t matter! Nefarious Hellfire Club is nefarious.

The real Storm, meanwhile, comes to claim Kitty, forgetting that she looks like the one and only Emma Frost. Kitty spooks and Storm accidentally reaches out, knocking her out telepathically. Whoops! Storm takes Kitty and flees in a car, while Emma gives chase. (How dare Ororo run off with her body, which is absolutely the kind of hypocritical hilariousness we all love Emma for.)

Kitty awakens and jumps from the car, causing Storm to swerve and...

JETSTREAM!? Speaking of which, where are the Hellions in all of this?

Kitty sees that an unconscious ‘Emma’ is about to burn to a tender and moist little crisp and she is faced with the hero’s dilemma: would you save a villain that would never save you?

Emma, meanwhile, has realized the downside to body-swapping: somebody else gets to run around with your body too. Shaw, of all people, talks her down from her anger.

You can’t just introduce a persona exchange gun to the plot WITHOUT EXPLAINING WHERE THE FUCK YOU GOT IT FROM.

My favorite detail is that Emma keeps calling Kitty brat, like she’s some sort of Pokémon-villain.

Kitty, meanwhile, has saved ‘Emma’ and tied her up with a special knot. Storm tries to convince Kitty, going for the “ask me something only Storm would know”, but Kitty’s all: “Duh, you’re a telepath.” Ororo insists, but the thing that clinches it is when she breaks free of her ties without breaking a sweat. That knot was taught to Kitty by Ororo and she’d be the only one who knew how to break out of it.

Storm and Kitty recruit Stevie Hunter to come pick them up and during the ride, Storm-being-angry-mother!Storm convinces Kitty more than anything else:

After all, Storm was voted most likely to say: “If you don’t stop this nonsense immediately, I will turn this Blackbird around, so help me God!”

Ororo and Kitty sneak inside. Ororo even uses Emma’s telepathy to help her pick a lock after phasing through a door. (Kind of funny: Kitty’s still such a neophyte that she can’t even phase with anyone else yet.) Emma, meanwhile, taunts the captured X-Men, presenting herself as the new white queen:

Anybody feel the inclination to point out that the Hellfire Club did this exact same thing last year, except then they tried it with a redhead?

I secretly suspect that the Hellfire Club’s plots always revolve around seducing X-Men to their side and dressing them up in sexy lingerie. (Which: fair.) There’s also a subplot where the guys Wolverine cut apart last year want to exact revenge on him for being made bionic, but eh. We’ll start paying attention to them when they become actual Reavers.

Kitty phases through the locks of the X-Men, freeing them, and a kerfuffle ensues. Emma starts using Storm’s powers, but they grow out of control. Colossus tosses Shaw out of the window - which should just be company policy, really: all Shaws should be defenestrated - where he’s promptly hit by a rogue thunderbolt.

When he doesn’t get up, Emma starts to lose it. The weather goes wild. Storm intervenes, using her telepathic power to help calm down Emma (and the raging storm), but she also manages to get a hold of the swap-gun. There’s a zap, and with a satisfied sigh, the status-quo is restored again.

My favorite implication is that, apparently, Emma decides which school Kitty attends and not her parents.

While this little arc is neither the most iconic nor the most profound of 1981 -- those would be Days of Future Past and I, Magneto, respectively -- I still love this for a couple of reasons.

As a lover of Freaky Friday, 17 Again and the new Jumanji-film, I just have a soft spot for body swap plots. (Hi Psylocke!)

It focuses on the Xavier Institute as a school, planting seeds for the upcoming New Mutants.

It is very female-driven without beating you over the head with it. (Looking at you, Birds of Prey.)

It has three definitive main characters, who all get fleshed out in fun and interesting ways. It starts the trend of robbing Ororo of some of her powers and tossing her into against-the-odds circumstances, only for her to come out on top.

It solidifies the Storm/Kitty mother/daughter (or older/younger sibling) dynamic. Kitty is a believable teenager when it comes to Storm - clever and kind, but also looking for answers and prone to rash decisions - and I love how much they care for each other.

Jean/Storm-friendship-callback, yay!

Emma gets fleshed out as a villain. Resourceful and petty, powerful and vain. It’s no wonder she’s one of the break-out antagonists of the X-Men, because, like Magneto, Claremont is not afraid of giving her depth. Arguably, she is the most three-dimensional of the Hellfire Club at this point.

Yay! And fuck completely sensible plots, if you don’t know what to do with your plot, just introduce a random persona exchange gun. Let’s use it on Xavier and Legion in Way of X next!

#x-men abridged #abridged x-men #x-men #storm #professor x #kitty pryde #uncanny x-men #emma frost #cyclops #nightcrawler #stevie hunter #colossus #sebastian shaw

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ze-maki-nin · 3 years ago

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For the precious @aike-dbunny :)

Y/n & Ocs

(some are suggestive? Sorta lol there are also swear words, caps, and some of them are the same but different ocs in different spots lol) (these are also from a generator cause I did them at 2 am 😬)

Y/n: Wake me up… Ryker: Before you go go! Xinia: When September ends… Tamaki: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

Y/n, setting down a card: Ace of spades Ryker, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Xinia, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Tamaki, trembling: What are we playing

Y/n: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold? Ryker: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house. Xinia: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million. Ryker: Good thinking.

Y/n, driving Ryker and Xinia: So how was your day? Ryker: We almost got surprise adopted! Y/n: What? Xinia: We almost got kidnapped. Y/n: Oh, okay. Y/n: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

*The squad right before Y/n's wedding* Ryker: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend. Xinia: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too! Tamaki: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well Rini: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND Gaia, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

*The squad is over at Y/n's house* Ryker: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven? Y/n: ... N-No... Y/n, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have??? Ryker, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought! Xinia: I see a- Y/n, motioning to one device: This is a microwave. Ryker: Oh, well I- Y/n: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave* Y/n, amazed: Its got a bake setting! Tamaki: Ohoho, you learn something new every day! Rini: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first? Y/n: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin! Y/n: I am someone who owns four ovens... Y/n, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS... Y/n: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens... Gaia, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven! Y/n: Ryker: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens! Y/n: Y/n, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

Y/n: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Ryker: Several traffic violations. Xinia: Three counts of resisting arrest. Tamaki: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Rini: Also, that’s not our car.

Gaia: I CAN'T DO IT! Rini, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER! Gaia: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE Ryker: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. Gaia: Gaia: I appreciate it, Gaia: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH- Y/n: Gaia- Gaia: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Tamaki: Gaia we gotta- Gaia: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Gaia: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Gaia, motioning to Xinia: NOT FUCKING THIS

Gaia: Rini isn’t answering their phone Ryker: I’ll call Gaia: Y/n and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Rini: Hello?

Gaia: Is having a penis fun? Rini: It has its ups and downs. Ryker: Sometimes it’s a little hard. Y/n: It’s a pain in the ass. Tamaki: Oh, Jesus, fuck, guys, come on.

Y/n, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!

Tamaki, not looking up from their book: Really? Ryker, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

Xinia: Stressed.

Y/n: Depressed.

Ryker: Possessed.

Gaia: Obsessed.

Tamaki: Impressed.

Rini: Chicken breast.

Everyone: ...What?

Rini: I just wanted to join in.

*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword*

Y/n: Rude.

Tamaki: That's fair.

Ryker: Not again.

Gaia: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

Y/n: I hate to tell you this, but one of you was adopted.

Xinia & Rini:

Xinia: Only one...?

*Y/n and Gaia playing minecraft*

Y/n: Oh no, oh no, oh no-

Gaia: What’s wrong?

Y/n: I did a thing.

Gaia: You regret the thing you dID-

Y/n: *screams*

Gaia: What the fuck did you do- *sees mass of aggravated Piglin* Damn it-

Y/n: *screams again*

Rini, watching Xinia and Y/n fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?

Ryker, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other.

Rini: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three?

Xinia: Ryker.

Y/n: Ryker.

Ryker: Me.

Y/n: Don't go to the kitchen.

Xinia: Why?

Y/n: I saw a spider.

Xinia: Well, did you kill it?

Y/n: It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair..

Ryker: I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

Y/n: Xinia, those tarot card readers know what they're doing! Think of Ryker, they're so smart!

Xinia: Those are suggestions! They're not-

Y/n: Ryker knew things, Ryker knew things!

Xinia: I don't think tarot cards told them that, though! I think if you just shotgun blast things into the air, saying you think you know things, then you're bound to hit one of them!

Y/n: I don't like thinking about it like that. They're just brilliant.

Xinia: Well, they are brilliant! But-

Y/n: And they saw into the future, and they're basically a god.

Xinia: ...

Xinia: They aren't.

Y/n, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Ryker, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

Tamaki: What the fuck are you guys doing?

Y/n: Playing systemic oppression.

Ryker: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.

Rini: Xinia is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Ryker.

Xinia: I feel like Ryker is the more responsible one of us two though.

Ryker: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.

Xinia: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

Gaia: Hey, let’s mess with Ryker, guys!

Rini: Hey, Ryker, your momma so fat-

Ryker: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison.

Xinia: Well, uh- your dad-

Ryker: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets.

Rini: The fuck-

Tamaki: Well then...

Gaia: Stop, Tamaki!

Tamaki: Your grandparents so-

Ryker: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted.

Ryker: You cannot best me, mortals.

Tamaki: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Xinia: Theft.

Gaia: Disturbing the peace.

Rini: Aggravated assault.

Y/n: Arson.

Ryker: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Rini: What does “take out” mean?

Tamaki: Food.

Y/n: Dating.

Xinia: Murder.

Ryker: It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

Y/n: Who wants to make fifty bucks?

Tamaki: How?

Y/n: I need someone to take the fall.

Tamaki: What did you do?

Y/n: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Xinia, from the other room: Oh my god.

Y/n: ...

Xinia: OH MY GOD!

Tamaki: Make it a hundred.

Y/n: Deal.

Xinia: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Xinia: Y/n is still mad about it, but me and Ryker were drunk and thought it was funny.

Xinia: Yesterday, I overheard Y/n saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Rini replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Rini: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Ryker: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~

Rini: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Xinia, recording: This is so cute.

Y/n: Fine! Judge all you want but...

Y/n, points at Tamaki: Married a lesbian.

Y/n, points at Xinia: Left a man at the altar.

Y/n, points at Rini: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer.

Y/n, points at Gaia: Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire.

Y/n, points at Ryker: Lives in a box!

*Everyone is giving advice to Tamaki*

Gaia: It's okay to ask for help.

Rini: You're not a burden.

Ryker: Murder is okay.

Y/n: Your feelings matter.

Ryker: Xinia is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Gaia: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Rini: Tackle them!

Y/n: Dump them.

Tamaki: Kick them in the shin!

Xinia: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

Gaia with a gun to Y/n's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

Y/n: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

Tamaki: What is everyone for Halloween?

Ryker: I’m superman.

Y/n: A clown.

Tamaki: So I’m guessing we don’t need to get you a costume then?

Gaia: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie.

Y/n: Ooh, can we get some actual pie?

Gaia: I like the way you think.

Y/n: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house.

Xinia: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

Ryker: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Xinia: No.

Y/n: I did not.

Gaia: I may have actually forgotten one.

Rini: Also no.

Ryker: Oh good, neither did I.

Tamaki: *Exhausted sigh*

Xinia: You don't think I can fight because of my gender!

Ryker: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Y/n can fight in that dress either.

Y/n: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride.

Y/n: I wanna die.

Ryker: We all do, you aren't special!

Y/n: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?

Ryker: It’s not water.

Y/n: Vodka! I like your sty-

Ryker: It’s vinegar.

Y/n: …What?

Ryker: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

Xinia: I have a bad feeling about this...

Ryker: What do you mean?

Xinia: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Ryker: No?

Y/n: That actually explains so much.

Ryker: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down.

Y/n, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Tamaki, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?

Ryker, also singing:The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Gaia, appalled: Call the exorcist.

Y/n: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Ryker: ... Your what?

Y/n: My friends.

Gaia: Are they saying “friends”?

Tamaki: I think they're being sarcastic.

Xinia: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Y/n! All of your friends are in this room.

Ryker: I wish I was a dinosaur.

Y/n: Why? Cause they're big and scary?

Ryker: Because they're dead.

Xinia: Are you busy?

Y/n: Yes.

Xinia: Cool, listen to this.

Ryker: Wait you like me? For my personality?

Y/n: I know, I was surprised too.

Y/n: Are we really going to let Tamaki keep Ryker?

Xinia: We kept Gaia.

Y/n: We need to distract these guys

Ryker: Leave it to me

Ryker: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Xinia, Tamaki, and Gaia: *Immediately begin arguing*

Rini, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

Y/n, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Ryker: Hey.

Xinia: Hi.

Tamaki: Hello.

Gaia: Hey!

Y/n: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Rini: We were out of Doritos.

'Can I copy the homework?'

Tamaki: I can help you with it!

Y/n: Yeah, sure.

Xinia: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Ryker: lol nope.

Gaia: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Rini: *Read 5:55pm*

Y/n: I CAN'T DO IT!

Ryker, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Y/n: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Xinia: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Y/n:

Y/n: I appreciate it,

Y/n: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Tamaki: Y/n-

Y/n: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Gaia: Y/n we gotta-

Y/n: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Y/n: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Y/n, motioning to Rini: NOT FUCKING THIS

Y/n: Is having a penis fun?

Ryker: It has its ups and downs.

Xinia: Sometimes it’s a little hard.

Tamaki: It’s a pain in the ass.

Gaia: Oh, Jesus, fuck, guys, come on.

Y/n: *Gently taps table*

Ryker: *Taps back*

Xinia: What are they doing?

Tamaki: Morse code.

Y/n: *Aggressively taps table*

Ryker: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Y/n: You know those things will kill you, right?

Ryker, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Xinia, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Tamaki: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Y/n: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Ryker: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Xinia: I got distracted about halfway through.

Tamaki: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Y/n: Listen, I can explain...

Ryker: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?

Xinia: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!

Tamaki: You guys are getting paid?

Y/n: Truth or dare?

Ryker: Dare

Y/n: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Ryker: Hey Tamaki

Tamaki, blushing: Yeah?

Ryker: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Xinia

Y/n, banging on the door: Ryker! Open up!

Ryker: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Tamaki: No, they meant-

Xinia: Let them finish.

Y/n: On a scale from “damn Daniel�� to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Ryker: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Xinia?

Xinia: Probably “road work ahead”.

Tamaki: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Y/n: Don’t worry, I have a permit.

Tamaki: … This just says “I can do what I want”.

Y/n: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-

Y/n: *sees Ryker shoving Rini into the washing machine while Tamaki records and Xinia watches*

Y/n: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

Xinia: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Ryker and I are dating.

Ryker, Gaia, Rini, Y/n, and Tamaki: *gasp*

Xinia: Ryker, why are you surprised?!

Y/n: Why is Ryker crying?

Rini: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-

Ryker: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!

Y/n: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-

Ryker: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!

Y/n: NO, NOT THAT!

Gaia: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Ryker: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Xinia: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

Tamaki: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.

Rini: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Y/n: Mental stability, my old friend!

Gaia: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Rini: What do we think of Ryker?

*pause*

Gaia: *sighs* Nice pal.

Xinia: I think they're gay.

Gaia: Time for plan G.

Rini: Don’t you mean plan B?

Gaia: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Xinia: What about plan D?

Gaia: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Y/n: What about plan E?

Gaia: I’m hoping not to use it. Ryker dies in plan E.

Ryker: I like plan E.

Rini, watching Gaia & Ryker panic : What's going on?

Xinia: Gaia is having a midlife crisis and Ryker is just having a crisis.

Rini: Christmas is cancelled.

Y/n: You can't cancel a holiday.

Rini: Keep it up, Y/n, and you'll lose New Year's too.

Y/n: What does that mean?

Rini: Ryker, take New Year's away from Y/n.

Rini: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Gaia: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Xinia: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Tamaki: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Y/n: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Ryker: I have emotional scars.

Gaia: Just think about this! I’m your hottest friend.

Gaia: No, that’s Y/n… I’m your nicest friend.

Gaia: No, Xinia… I’m your friend!

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Tamaki: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Y/n: ...I did. I broke it.

Tamaki: No. No you didn't. Xinia?

Xinia: Don't look at me. Look at Ryker.

Ryker: What?! I didn't break it.

Xinia: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Ryker: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Xinia: Suspicious.

Ryker: No, it's not!

Rini: If it matters, probably not, but Gaia was the last one to use it.

Gaia: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Rini: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Gaia: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Rini!

Xinia: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Tamaki.

Tamaki: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Rini: Tamaki... Xinia's been awfully quiet.

Xinia: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Tamaki, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Tamaki: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Tamaki:

Tamaki: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Ryker: Tamaki is taking credit for Xinia's work, getting them to deal with everything, and making fun of them! You know what they sounds like?

Y/n: You?

Ryker: No, I meant... You know Xinia. In spite of being clever and sarcastic they’re also... fragile and weird and they have trouble fitting in. And Tamaki is taking advantage of their weakness! You know what that’s called?

Y/n: A Ryker?

Ryker: ...Yeah, but I’m the only one who should be allowed to do that, okay?!

Tamaki: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!

Ryker: You left me, Rini, and Gaia in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago.

Tamaki: I did that on purpose, try again.

Y/n: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Tamaki: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Y/n: Seize the dick.

Tamaki: Why is Gaia crying on the floor?

Rini: They took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes.

Tamaki: And?

Rini: They got Y/n.

and that is all folks!

#incorrect oc quotes #y/n x oc #incorrect y/n #incorrect quotes

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agreeablesenseofthemacabre · 4 years ago

Text

Lifting the Sea

“Where’s Cas?”

Dean does a full comedic rotation before spotting the Angel— his husband— whatever, scowling at his phone near a landmark.

He shrugs, “Catching those little monster dudes probably. Apparently they’re all over the place here.”

Sam’s brow furls, he looks over at Eileen who shrugs.

“What?”

“You know that fuckin’ app that everybody was obsessed with like... 5 years ago? Pocket something something”

Sam frowns for a split second then it hits him.

“Pokémon go?”

“Yeah that shit.” Dean shrugs again, his green eyes still fixed on the man in question. “I knew it was a mistake getting a smartphone” but he doesn’t sound nearly as bothered as he claims. He glares upward. “It’s fucking hot”

Sam’s also dart up. “I mean. It’s the beach Dean.” He stares pointedly at his brother’s attire. “Would it kill you to buy some shorts maybe a tshirt?”

Dean pulls a face, but doesn’t argue, Cas is waving happily- just now noticing how far they’ve walked away from him. He points excitedly to his phone and says something.

“Can’t hear—” Dean sighs, “CAN’T HEAR YA CAS, you’re too far” he yells, smiling softly. “Asshole.”

Dean points at the nearby shop, waving to get Sam’s attention, a couple kids are clustered around Cas chattering to him animatedly.

“Sam. Can you keep an eye on him? I’ll be right back”

~~~

When Dean walks back out into the sunshine Cas has finally decided to join them. He’s signing to Eileen and going intensely through the alphabet. Probably more about that damn Pokémon game.

Sam whistles, “I’m blind” he laughs. “Your legs, they’re reflecting the sun”

Dean flips him off.

“No, but for real Dean, have your thighs ever been exposed to light? Are you sure it’s safe?”

“HA, HA, fuck you”

Cas turns at his voice, eyes glowing happily, and how in the hell did Dean Winchester get so lucky.

“I caught a Charizard in the wild Dean, none of the other players were able to capture him” He informs proudly, phone still out, finger flipping with precision, “You have very nice legs” he adds. “The sunlight will cause you to have more freckles, plus the added health benefits of vitamin D”

Dean winks, “Any nude beaches out here? I could benefit from your vitamin d”

Sam retches, seizing the umbrella from Dean and heading toward the beach. “You two are disgusting”

Dean waves cheerily before turning back to his boyfriend— husband.

“So What’s a charred—“

“Charizard.” Cas corrects, “dragon fire type”

“Uh-huh” Dean reaches for Cas’ hand, it takes him a second to get used to flicking with his thumb, but he manages, Dean lets Cas lead. “Did you bully those kids out of their dragon? Dragons suck dude.”

“It is very rare to catch in the wild, Edwin told me, he is one of the top players in this region, he is 12, and though he is Team Valor, and I am team Instinct, I decided to trust him.”

“Whatever you say babe.”

“I think you might enjoy this game Dean, it combines hunting and tracking with less bloodshed and all of the monsters seem kind.” Cas squints suddenly, yanking them out of the flow of traffic and down onto the beach. “I see combees.”

“Handsome and artistic, you’ve gotta be a serial killer right?”

Dean raises his head, shielding his eyes in the sun. She’s tall, and curvy with sparkling eyes and a near perfect smile.

“I don’t know about artistic, but I never murder and tell”

She throws out a hand.

“I’m Clarice”

“Dean.”

She notices the lift of his expression and rolls her eyes good naturally, “Yeah like Silence of the Lambs”

“Put the lotion in the basket” he intones with a mock accent.

“Yeah that never gets old”

He laughs and she smiles and takes a seat on the beach chair beside him.

“What brings you out here into the sunshine?”

“Celebratin’.” His eyes turn back to his sketchbook, thumb smudging a carefully drawn mop of black hair.

“Oh, that’s fun, how old are you?” She doesn’t seem bothered by his in attention, sips her drink and watches him sketch.

“Ah um” He shifts and does the mental math. “Forty-three I think...”

“Looking good” she says appreciatively. He’s too focused on the lines, eyes occasionally darting to the ocean, quite obviously only half listening. She’s not put off yet- no ring on his finger, only a necklace with two silver circles and that could mean anything.

“So uh, a couple of my friends are headed down into the—“

“DEAN!”

His attention is immediately diverted, a man waist-deep in the frigid surf is pointing excitedly at something, he’s still wearing his snorkel mask. He pulls something free of the water- revealing a long, lean wriggling shape.

“Is that a fucking shark?” Dean mutters in disbelief, then much louder “CAS is that a fucking shark?”

A giant man with longer hair stops splashing the woman with him, turns and starts cackling. The shark handler pulls his mask off, beaming. “Jack would love this!”

Clarice shades her eyes and takes a good look at the man with the shark and then at the drawing Dean’s been working on.

“Who’s that?” She asks, his distraction giving her a better chance seeing what’s in his sketchbook.

A lovingly rendered drawing of what looks like the man with the shark. But in the sketch it’s in a much different position, hair ruffled in detail over his brow. Blankets pooled around his barely covered hipbones. His eyes burn with inner heat despite the fact that they’re merely pencil on paper. His subject had clearly been in love with whomever he’d been looking at.

“That is my boyfriend, he’s gonna get his nipple bit off if he’s not careful.” Dean’s smiling cause Sam is trying to talk Cas into releasing the shark and is clearly failing. “Oh hell, I guess husband now.”

She stands, “I am so sorry, I didn’t realize. I gotta—“

“Nice to meet you Clarice” he says, honestly surprised by her quick exit. “Yo STEVE IRWIN. put the shark down and come up here— time to reapply sunblock”

“Who was that woman?” Cas asks, shaking like a dog and stirring a loud swearing session out of Dean as he shields his sketchbook from the saltwater.

“What woman?”

“The one speaking to you earlier? When I caught the shark?”

Dean looks completely vacant before remembering. “Oh shit, yeah! Clarice or something. Nice lady.”

Cas nods, waiting patiently while Dean starts applying sunscreen to his back.

“Did she need something?”

Dean shrugs, “just being friendly I guess, lean close. I gotta get your nose”

Cas hums and obliges, he grins suddenly and rips open a Velcro pocket in his trunks revealing his prize to Dean.

“Is that a goddamn crab Castiel?”

The angel nods happily. “We should find out if Claire can FaceTime. She would love to see.”

Claire and Kaia lean close, Dean’s got the camera aimed so that it’s mostly sky and their foreheads. Cas is smushed against his cheek waving.

“Jesus.” Claire hisses. “Hold the damn camera still. Dean— look, YOU’RE the square in the corner.”

Kaia hasn’t stopped giggling since they connected.

“How is Kansas?” Cas asks. “Are you well?”

Claire rolls her eyes. “You’ve been gone two days. It’s the same Cas— house burned down and a ghoul attack—“

The camera reels, two deep gruff voices start speaking rapidly.

“She’s joking!” Kaia intervenes. “Castiel, Dean. She’s joking. We’re fine and safe, worst thing that happened is we ran out of coffee.”

He nods seriously— the left side of Dean’s face is unamused.

“Tell them not to put damn Walmart coffee in my coffee machine—“

Cas lifts a blurry item into view. “I caught a crab today,”

She freezes only for a moment, crabs had been her thing in 1st grade. Her dad had shared some of his favorite memories with Cas; she was realizing that he did it because he trusted the angel. The crab thing was a new one— he seems proud though, pleased that he remembered.

“He also caught a fucking shark with his bare hands.” Dean adds, taking the phone back, view now up his nostrils. They’re both sunburned and nearly glowing with happiness. “Almost lost a nipple”

“I did not.” It’s Cas’ turn to roll his eyes. “I will send you photographs via messaging after the call.”

“When are you guys headed back?” Claire asks, cause she’s pleased about the pictures and doesn’t know how to admit it.

Dean turns the camera again. This time slightly more centered.

“Sam and Eileen are heading home tomorrow, but Cas says he has more surprises for me and “undomesticated equine could not drag the secrets from him’”

Dean and Claire snort simultaneously.

“I was being funny.” Cas interjects, Dean laughs at something off camera and grabs his face, kissing Cas’ cheek. “I know the saying.”

“Gotta go.” Dean says, with a wink. “Gotta get our vitamin D for the day, right Sunshine?”

The camera tips; Cas is frowning in confusion and they can barely see the top of Dean’s now suggestively wagging eyebrows.

“Oh. Uh. Yes.” Cas looks guiltily at the phone and shakes his head at Dean. “Vitamins.”

Kaia starts wheezing with laughter. It dawns on Claire moments later.

“That’s fucking gross.”

Cas shrugs apologetically, Dean’s laughter fills the background.

“We appear to be having connection issues.” Cas mutters, They watch Cas fumble with the phone as he frantically tries to hang up before Dean does anything scandalous.

“See you in a week!” Dean shouts. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Bye...” the screen goes dark and Claire is left with her and Kaia’s amused reflections. “Dads.”

If you liked this it’s connected to my ao3 vibesandwonders. Come say hey here and see the rest of the series

#destiel honeymoon #destiel #dean winchester #Castiel #sam winchester #eileen leahy #casdean #ficlet #spn #supernatural #domestic destiel #domestic deancas #kaia nieves #claire novak #spn fic #spn fanfiction #spn drabble #spn destiel

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pizzahutchan124 · 4 years ago

Text

Do you see this pic? I Took it on the 3rd of April to show that I've been saving money since last year. I only recently cashed that in two weeks from today. It came out to $106 subtotal.

I would've updated abour this earlier but.... truth be told I'm dipping my toes into plenty of lakes, rivers, ponds and oceans with seemingly little to show for it at the moment. I'm running an art blog now, and I'm building both a financial and artistic portfolio. I'm getting tons of leads on job opportunities in both social services and backstage tech work, which means I gotta revise my resume to fit the position titles as well as follow up with the respective hiring staff. My extended family is always checking up on me, making sure me and the folks I live with are ok (they're all sweet like that.) Ultimately I would like to craft and create more art, whether that be in writing, yarn crafting, sewing, woodworking or experimenting with traditional and digital drawing. Of course, that means I have to renovate my space so that it flows with a creative and productive atmosphere while maintaining a cozy yet friendly living environment for me and my loved ones.

You dunno what that means? Yea, neither do I. I'm figuring it out as I go, but it gets hard when the people closest to you want results NOW. NOW NOW NOW. Otherwise you're a fookin lazy good-fer-nothing, haha. I got so many irons on the fire right now it's not even funny....

On top of all of that, I dont know what to do with this blog. Ive been doing research here & there and the people in the big leagues say that you gotta stick with ONE topic and/or interest so that not only your blog remains consistent, but your followers know what to expect from you thus remaining engaged on your platform. That's some quality advice for growing a wider audience, but heres the thing- I can't be asked to just dwindle down my posts towards a single topic. Maybe that worked for my ancestors in the past but I'm lucky enough to live in a First world country that encourages free thinking provided that it doesnt limit anyone elses liberties. This is a space where I can explore multiple options, opinions, pathways and idealogies, even the shitty ones if I were as bold as I used to be. In short .....

I AM A MULTI-FACETED HUMAN BEEEEEEEAN.

I used to be a self proclaimed potato; however, things change with time. So do people- we become remixes of what we used to be. Sometimes we become better people for it. Sometimes we don't. And that's ok, so long as we're honest with ourselves about what we're doing to hinder our progress in this lifetime. I think I'm making strides in being more reflective and introspective in that aspect.

Im not sure what this means for the long term future of this blog. I originally made this during a time in my life when the internet was filled with opportunity and promises of a better life. Since then I've become more aware of how the world works and thereby more cynical to the beliefs I once held as a 16 y/o 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮 𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓾𝓼𝓲𝓪𝓼𝓽. I'll just continue to post things that are informative to my needs and likes and hope that it'll reach the people it's meant for. Unfortunately that means I gotta work on trimming the fat on this blog. I've made side blogs for this reason, but havent gotten around to utilizing them. That's gonna be a big project for me at some point down the line. Only God knows when I'll get around to it.

Here they are if you wanna browse through them-

a Blog filled with master posts, references and tutorials on stuff

another blog filled with fanart from some amazing folks

Based on the actions I'm currently taking, I can see myself absolutely vibing within the next 5 years.

You can expect me to reblog posts on my main fandoms (mainly yugioh, pokémon and hazbin hotel/helluva boss), commentary on our society at large (uh oh, OPINIONS 😱 so scary), theories and lore based on the fandom(s) I'm in. Ngl I also become enamored with 2d characters from time to time so perhaps I'll get around to making character analysis posts. That's a big MAYBE tho. I'll also post about Cooking, economics, Psychology, personality archetypes and certain spiritual concepts like feng shui, the different kinds of astrology, mythos from different religions (Buddhism, Catholicism, etc), productivity and/or life hacks. I'm also a slut for tropes, Hence the #Tropes tag I made 😁

And finally, I will be making more original content irregularly from when "the motivation strikes me" to "when I feel my ideas/drawing/writings/musings aren't complete hot dog water."

See you in the next post maybe

#Sundae Stories #creative problems #rant #vent #Portfolio #Investment #renovations #Fandom #tutorials #References #life #time management #Scheduling #Writing problems #Artist problems

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drshojo · 5 years ago

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The World, My Childhood And My Hero Academia: Vigilantes

Hello friends!

Its Dr. Shojo coming at you with a post that will be divided into three parts!

Part One: The world as we know it!

The world has changed a lot since we last connected. For starters, TOILET BOUND HANAKO KUN HAS NOT ONLY A PHYSICAL RELEASE BUT A GORGEOUS ANIME! And not only that, but MY NEXT LIFE AS A VILLAINESS: ALL ROUTES LEAD TO DOOM! IS GETTING AN ANIME AS WELL! The last time I wrote about Katerina there wasn’t even an official English translation of that long-ass light-novel-title. And now?

A WHOLE ANIME. A BISEXUAL HAREM AWAITS! I am JAZZED!

Do you think it’s my fault? No matter, I’ll take all the credit. All the manga I talk about are getting anime adaptations. I’LL DO MY DUTY AND TALK ABOUT SOME MORE!

But first. Let us address the Covid-19 shaped elephant in the room

I deeply regret that it took a whole-ass pandemic to get me back to writing. In my defense, I bought an iPad and started drawing like 900 kokichi oumas. I was really busy with that. And then I started reading fanfiction. Then that got me thinking about how fanfiction such an interesting look into how people interpret fandom, use it for wish fulfillment and escapism, and good god is everyone OK cause that bulimia fan fic was super detailed....and I am officially on a tangent. Off track. Ahem.

We are all staying inside a whole lot more which means y’all probably need some reading material and Dr. Shojo has your back! Go read “Horimiya”! It’s amazing! Ahhhh, my work here is done! I'm serious, if you’re here for a Shojo rec, that’s it! There's also like 8 million more Otome Isekais to check out now. It’s like they’re multiplying like rabbits..............

As a Doctor, I must advise you to stay inside and read some manga and practice social distancing. Embrace your inner hikikomori.

Allright? All good? Okay now one final disclaimer:

This post is going to be talking about something a little different than usual and I want to start by giving you some context about who Dr. Shojo is in real life.

Part Two: Dr. Shojo Exposed

You see, when I was little I was obsessed with Japanese media. This doesn't surprise you at all I can tell. Probably because I walk around calling myself Dr. Shojo and shout about manga that you should read.

Anyways, the reason why I was obsessed wasn’t because of the big eyes or the spikey hair or the interesting new culture. It was because it tended to have more character development and overarching plotlines than the media I was used to in Canada. Dexter’s Lab, Magic School Bus, pretty much everything I saw on TV was episodic in nature, so imagine how much my mind was blown when I saw Naruto and Card Captor Sakura, heck, even Pokémon had the Indigo Plateau! Here were kids that were learning more and more each day and got to see enemies become friends and vice versa. They lived and grew older just like me. Except they were cooler than me. And had more interesting lives than me. I gotta tell you, I was so sad when I was 12 and Kero didn’t tell me I had latent magical powers. But there was magic in my life and it was the magic of a complex narrative story. And not only that, it had a sense of movement and had cool costumes. I was hooked immediately.

Also, fun fact, at that age I happened to be a complete and utter tomboy! I loved pretending to fight my friends in the playground and was really worried that puberty would ruin my life because being a girl sounded so CUMBERSOME.

Which leads me up to my confession. Before I became Dr. Shojo, I was in fact......Dr. Shonen.

Bleach? Naruto? One Piece? I've read every single chapter there is.

Hundreds of hours of watching fight sequences. Another fun fact, I only got into shojo because my aunt bought me volume 7 and 8 of Fruits Basket thinking “all mangas like the same right? Kids love comics?” It’s a tribute to how episodic western media was back then that she thought buying volume SEVEN and EIGHT was a REASONABLE PLACE TO START READING.

Now you might also say, Hey! Dr Shojo! Cardcaptors was a shojo! And you are right! but back then the anime was marketed to boys over here in the west and they actualy like, edited out episodes that they thought wouldn't interest boys?! Second fun fact, Once when I was in Grade 3 I was told I was not allowed to join a club under the stairs cause I was a girl and it was BOYS ONLY. The point of the club? To talk about how great Cardcaptors was! I Kid you not!

So anyways, your pall Dr. Shojo loves Shonen manga to this day!

The only reason I made this Dr. Shojo blog specifically about shojo is because, being a tomboy with no female friends, reading shojo manga was the first time I really thought about what it meant to be a girl and fall in love. And y i k e s. Shojo manga, like most media, fails miserably most of the time in displaying real world relationships. Or at least, it doesn't prepare you for how disappointing everything can be. When I had my first kiss, I was thinking about how it didn’t feel at all like how I felt reading Zen and Shirayukis kiss in Akagame No Shirayuki Hime. Those were formative years, and shojo was one of the only places I saw romance being talked about for younger audiences. I liked reading romances where no one had any sexual experiences and were figuring out what love meant to them. But let’s shelve this topic for now.

The point is that gender roles are dumb and if you have an open mind there's a world of stories out there for you. Take this time inside to read something you wouldn’t normally. Critically think about the ways that the worlds you see in stories and how you experience the world differ. What are the messages a story is trying to tell you? And why do you like the stories you do? Reflect on how the stories you tell yourself color your view of the world. Even mindless entertainment leaves an impression on us. Anyways.

Whilst you're doing that, I'm going to absolutely lose my hecking mind over the Shonen Jump series MY HERO ACADEMIA: Vigilantes!

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Part Three: I downloaded the one month free trial of the Shonen Jump app and made you read all that, so I can tell you that today Dr. Shojo is going to rant about a spin-off of a shonen manga

THAT’S RIGHT, OF COURSE I READ HERO ACA AND YES I DID PICK UP THE SPIN OFF SERIES. SHONEN JUMP LETS YOU READ ALL THE NEW CHAPTERS FOR FREE ON THEIR APP. KIDS, IF YOU LIKE SHONEN AND YOU’RE PIRATING ON A SCANLATION SITE STILL GET OUT BECAUSE YOU DON’T NEED TO SEE THOSE WEIRD PLASTIC SURGERY AND DENTISTRY ADDS ANY MORE.

SHONEN IS HERE AND ITS LEGAL AND ITS FREE FOR YOU. GET OFF MANGA FOX OR MANGA ROCK OR WHATEVER THE KIDS ARE USING THESE DAYS.

OK, so by this point in the article you have learned two very important things about me: 1) I love Shonen manga and 2) I read a lot of fanfiction.

Specifically, I read an absolutely biblical amount of My Hero Academia fan fiction and let me tell you, A solid chunk of it is vigilante/ Deadpool / criminal with a heart of gold themed.

So when I saw Hero Aca had a spin off, and it was about vigilantes, I was NOT SURPRISED IN THE SLIGHTEST. Ao3 sure is powerful.

Now, if you will permit me a tangent in a post full of tangents—HOLY CRAP, THERE ARE TOO MANY VIGILANTE AUS. I CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF EM. IT’S THE ISEKAI PROBLEM ALL OVER AGAIN. I GET AN EMAIL A FIC HAS UPDATED AND I’M LIKE IS THIS THE FIC WHERE DEKU HAS AN ABUSIVE MOM OR THE ONE WHERE HE HAS SPLIT PERSONALITY DISORDER OR THE ONE WHERE HE’S VIGILANTES WITH HITOSHI. OH WAIT, nvm, it’s the one where deku has a healing quirk.

OH WAIT WHICH OF THE 6 DEKU WITH HEALING QUIRK VIGILATE AU FICS IS THIS ONE?! ARGH WHY DIDN’T I WRITE A DESCRIPTION IN THE BOOKMARK FOR THIS!

My gripes aside, there's a reason why there's such an abundance of vigilante story telling—

Deadpool made like an absolute buttload of money and people love sass and memes.

People have a desire for a story in which they see themselves. Or, how they think of themselves.They like a story about someone who maybe came from nothing. Someone who has less money, maybe someone who is unlucky and had some bad breaks. Someone who never learned they had magic, never got their Hogwarts letter, never saw Kero, someone who never got that God-level quirk from All Might. And if your on Ao3 They want someone who also has seen a lot of memes and kind of wants taco bell and is also questioning their sexuality a bit?

Enter our new hero VIGILANTE DEKU.

But the cannon can't do this, cause hey, Deku is the chosen one. Albeit, chosen by All Might, He’s got his own thing to do. But how can we still cash in on a vigilante story?

And thus enter our New-New hero KOICHI HAIMAWARI—code name Nice Guy and then later The Crawler. True to his relatable roots. He’s just a dude in an hoodie who can go about as fast as a bike.

First off, I love Koichi. He wants to be a hero and fight crime, but most of the time he has to run away because at the end of the day he's just a dude.

He’s cute but not wildly good-looking, A bit of a nerd but not like an extreme okaku. He’s got a part time job and hates violence.

And this is where Koichi really shines—in every day stuff. He helps out wherever he can. Often, that just means listening to people complain and maybe helping his friends out with whatever they’re going through. He’s the kind of guy who smiles, not because he's especially brave, but because he just takes things one at a time and doesn't sweat the past. I think it’s really telling that he missed getting into hero high-school because he skipped the entrance exam to help someone. He’s the kind of person who lets us experience the superpower of human decency and empathy. And you know what? That’s something the world need desperately.

This theme of human decency is really the driving force of Vigilantes—it’s a manga about how the laws are there for a reason but sometimes they unfairly impact the poor and vulnerable. It's about how a lot of criminals are just people who fell into bad social circles or on bad times. People have the capacity for cruelty and violence but that’s never all they are.

Now, speaking of crime, the entirety of Hero Aca falls into some murky water when it comes to its evil doers. Much of the fandom has a huuuuuge problem with how much the franchise is willing to sweep under the rug in the name of redeeming their baddies. RE: people getting mad about forgiving Endeavor’s child abuse, or Bakugo’s suicide baiting. Or Mineta’s blatant sexual harassment.

But this theme is in Vigilantes even more than it ever was in the main series. To start off with, there’s this guy who tries to rape Pop Step early on, and the later he later winds up befriending everybody. It becomes a running gag that each new villain winds up befriending the other villain guys and then they all open a cat café together.

Using jobs as a way to lift people out of lives of crime is great and all but in the story there is no nuance or consequences for past wrong and well.....it feels very weird. It's like Vigilantes plays at having an opinion about moral ambiguity and the complexity of human existence and then just.......lets everyone get along because who has time to get into all that. Make of that what you will but it sits weird for me personally.

Anyway, let's move on and talk about POP STEP our main girl!

I love pop stars and I love vigilantes and a guerrilla performer is defiantly a character I could get behind. And I think they do a good job with Pop. She is actually kind of shy, but has this secret edgy persona she puts on when she performs. She is every girl on tumbler in the early 2000s. I also looooove that they make her not that great a singer. SHE’S GOT PASSION AND CHARISMA and maybe not born talent but like why should that stop you! Talent can be earned through practice and this is a great lesson to show people.

Unfortunately, Pop is also a great example of everything wrong with romance in Shonen.

It’s established early on that Pop loves Koichi because she is the girl he rescued all those years ago and yada yada yikes we’ve heard this one before. Many times before.

Sure, it's fine that they’ve met before, but gosh am I sick of damsels in distress. It's like she can't love him just because she respects what a great guy he is in her life and in the community at large, no no, she just needs to be rescued on top of that. And LOLOLOL isn't it funny he never noticed she was a girl because she was a child with short hair?! Once he realizes she has boobs now they will for sure fall in love! That’s how love works!

She's just with him all the time—nothing romantic ever happens she just gets a little tsundere.

I am never ever going to believe Koichi likes Pop because he spends like sooooo much time with her and they never have like, a moment. The first time he considers her is when Makoto is like, ‘hey I would love to get together with you, but have you thought about if you are crushing on Pop’. (Also this entire plot point is suspect—she's arbitrarily falling for Koichi cause he.......is the protagonist?)

Say what you will about shojo, they give you the emotional conversations, the moments where you think.....ahhh I can see why she is falling for him. They give you context! Shonen likes to just say HERE’S A GIRL YOUR AGE. YOU CAN DATE LATER WHEN THE ADVENTURE IS DONE.

Just when they might get together, Pop suddenly turns evilllllll. The evilllll beeeees made her eeeevilllll (and more sexy).

*Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

Because why on earth would they get together if Koichi didn’t get to rescue Pop one more time?

I’m tired. These troupes are tired. I’m sure you are too. HOWEVER! If your still with me, Let’s move into why I'm really writing this post. Let’s get to the part that got me screaming to my friends, who by the way, don’t even care bout Hero Aca….but listened anyways. May you all find nakama like these my friends.

Anyways,

HOLY FUCK ERASERHEAD’S ENTIRE BACK STORY IS IN THIS AROUND CHAPTER 60 AND IT IS WONDERFUL AND ABSOLUTLY HEARTBREAKING AND IS ONE OF THE BEST CHARACTER BACKSTORIES I HAVE EVER SEEN AND IS THE REASON WHY THIS SERIES IS A MUST-READ FOR MAIN SERIES FANS.

AND BY ALMIGHT.

WHY. IS. IT HERE.

I present to you my late night text messages to my friends

ALSO, AIZAWAS TEACHER IS PRINCE?!?!?!

AHEM, so as you can see, I kinda lost my shit.

And now, I would like to formally defend my claim that DESPITE HOW AMAZING IT WAS, ERASERHEAD’S BACKSTORY HAD NO BUISSNESS BEING IN THE VIGILANTES SPIN-OFF MANGA.

Eraserhead, aka Aizawa Shouta, is a side character who is working with the police on some crime stuff. He is not a main cast member in this spin off. He’s a guest character that fans of the main series will be like OH COOL. GRUMPY CAT MAN LIKES CATS ON HIS OFF HOURS TOO. LOVE THAT FOR HIM.

So, my imagine my absolute surprise when Aizawa runs into Koichi and the following happens:

It starts to rain, so, like in any good manga, this means some great FORCED BONDING TIME

Except no. It doesn't because rather than start talking, Aizawa JUST STARTS REMEMBERING—ABSOLUTLY SILENTLY TO HIS OWN PRIVETE SELF—HIS ENTIRE TRAGIC BACKSTORY.

AND THIS GOES ON FOR CHAPTERS.

THIS GOES ON LONGER THEN ARC ONE IT FEELS LIKE.

I LOVE IT, BUT KOICHI IS ABOUT TO JOIN ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA IN THE DUBIOUS CATEGORY OF “PROTAGONISTS THE SERIES FORGOT ABOUT IN LIEU OF COOLER SIDE CHARACTERS”.

AND LO IT HAS NO BEARING ON THE REST OF THE PLOT, CHARACTERS, OR STORY

What the ever-loving-just WHY?

WHY?

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

SURE, IT’S A COOL TIE-IN.

YES, OF COURSE I LOVED IT. I SHIP ERASER MIC, I DREW THIS FOR HECK’S SAKE:

AND YET I AM ANGRY.

I AM ANGRY BECAUSE MY FRIDAY WAS RUINED BECAUSE VIGILATES SUCKER PUNCHED ME WITH AN AMAZING STORY THAT REALLY WASN’T PLOT RELEVANT AND PROBABLY SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THERE.

IS THIS WHY THEY TOOK LIKE NEXT-TO-NO CARE WITH POPS ARC?!?

I mean its ongoing, so it’s too early to say but—

In conclusion—

Excuse me one more,

AIZAWA WAS TAUGHT BY PRINCE!?!??!?!?!?!? PURPLE RAIN PRINCE!?!??!?!?!? WHAT!??!?!?!

It’s so ABSURD that I HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I HAD TO WRITE PARAGRAPHS TO JUSTIFY YELLING ABOUT THIS ONE THING. WHAT THE ABSOLUTE—

Ahem,

Anyways, I hope you liked this weird rant/personal-story/random-diatribe in three parts.

If you’re reading this, thank you, stay safe, and I’ll be back with more shojo manga next time.

Ciao!

Dr. Shojo

(aka Dr. Shonen)

#my hero academia vigilantes #koichi haimawari #pop step #my hero academia #erasermic #Cardcaptors #Shojo manga #Shonen Manga #Dr Shojo #read Horimiya

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letswritefanfiction · 4 years ago

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New Pokémon oneshot series! Mistakes Were Made.

A series of disconnected oneshots that poke fun at the fandom hivemind, canon, and past!me. I’m taking things that I’ve either observed or done myself and reframing them in parody where hopefully we can just all have some low stakes fun and, at best, maybe learn something about our favorite characters and writing.

Chapter One- Addiction: Redux

Summary: Once upon a time, an enterprising, young fanfiction authoress wrote the first chapter for her years-long alphabet challenge, and it sucked. Six years later, she makes a whole story devoted to making fun of it.

"Ash, Ash, Ash!"

Ash felt a tingle go up—or down?—his spine at the sound of his name. But not the good kind. He currently had a packaged cookie in his mouth and was reaching for a second one, but knew that wasn't why his name was being called. No, Misty's voice was farther away, there was no way she was in sight of the kitchen, watching him pilfer her snack cookies from the cabinet.

Pikachu filled him a glass of water so that he could swallow the evidence as soon as possible and then he walked towards where the sound had come from.

Misty's office.

That's where the dread came in.

If he'd heard her exclaim his name like that from somewhere else in the Gym, he might have thought it was Pokémon-related and he probably would have been too excited to remember to cover his tracks with the cookies. But in the time he'd spent in the Misty's Gym since becoming a couple, he knew that only bad things lay behind those doors.

Usually those bad things were nothing more malignant than paperwork and maybe an overworked, slightly cross-eyed Misty. Nothing he wasn't used to. But excitement…that probably meant that she wasn't working. Exciting paperwork could in theory be something like a grant, but he probably would have heard about that. And would probably remember it. Maybe. But since he didn't, he had to assume it was something much more sinister.

She'd found something on the Internet.

"Do I have to, Pikachu?" he whispered as he approached the door.

"Pika chu," Pikachu nodded, pushing his Trainer forward and then making a run for it. Coward.

"Hey, Mist," Ash said with false cheer as he came into the dark room. The sun had set maybe an hour or two ago—Ash didn't pay attention to those things well when he wasn't on the road—and Misty had yet to turn any lamps on. But her face was heavily illuminated with the cold, blue glow of her computer monitor, which she was staring unblinkingly at.

"Hey, babe," she said, always more comfortable with the pet names than he was. He'd get there someday. Maybe. She was just 'Misty' in his head! He couldn't help it. "Check this out."

Her voice was slightly maniacal as she pointed to the screen full of words in front of her. Gee, Ash's favorite. He rolled his eyes. He had a sinking feeling what this was about.

"Look at this terrible fanfiction!"

"Is it about you and me?" he deadpanned.

"Yes, and it's terrible! I mean, I'm pretty cute in it, but you're so OOC I can't help but cackle."

And cackle she did. Then, she began to read it out loud:

"Misty was nothing if not true to her word," she began, her voice taking on the lilt of a storyteller's. "I am that. Have I ever lied to you?"

"Probably wouldn't date you if you had," Ash said, wanting this experience to be over as soon as possible. He didn't have an especially good relationship with reading in the first place, but reading about himself…ew, there was just something icky about it. Especially since Misty had shown him…certain stories.

Misty continued. "Today, Ash found himself sitting in an uncomfortable plastic seat, the kind that he hadn't had to deal with since grade school. This one was missing the foot off of one of the corners, so Ash spent his time rocking from side to side—okay, that part is like you," Misty said, interrupting the story. "You've definitely done that before. So let's skip to the bad stuff. Long story short, you're in an AA meeting—"

"What?" Ash exclaimed. "Why would—okay, you're right. That doesn't sound like me at all."

"No you're not addicted to alcohol," Misty explained. "Just…Just wait for it. Ah, let's skip to here. 'Hello, my name is Ash,' Ash mumbled into his shirt as he avoided eye contact with all others in the room.

Ash—the real Ash, not story-Ash—rolled his eyes. Not at the story, surprisingly, but at Misty. She had taken to reading lines that he—or, rather, the fictional version of him—had in something of a stage whisper. She was making fun of his raspy voice just because she could.

"Resounding back to him was a dull chorus of, 'Hi, Ash.' His mouth was dry. As much as he loved being the center of attention—hah, now that part's right!" Misty interjected. "Oh, and this next part is good: Ash had never been good at the public speaking. He usually ended up saying something dumb that Misty would then make fun of him for later. So he said the only thing that he could think to say: "And I'm addicted to Pokémon Battling."

"What‽" Ash exclaimed, slamming his hands down on the desk as he got closer behind Misty to see the screen for himself. "What does that even mean? How can someone be addicted to Pokémon Battles? This is the stupidest—"

"Shh, that's explained. That's what I'm getting to. Listen:" Misty said, skipping down a bit further. "'Aw, Mist, it's not like you really believe that an addiction to Battling is a real thing, do you?' Misty turned sharply to look at him. "Ash, you battled to the point where Pikachu could hardly breathe! We had to spend the whole day in the Pokémon Center, remember? Clearly you have a problem, and I couldn't think of any other solution besides peer pressure to get you to shape up.'"

"Nope," Ash said immediately. "Nope, nope, nope. I would never do that in a million years."

"I know!" Misty explained, laughing as she stared in disbelief at the words on the screen. "You'd more likely run on the field and land yourself in the hospital."

"I have."

"I know."

Ash frowned as he read the words over again. They made him angry to read. Mostly because the idea of any Trainer doing that to a Pokémon incensed him, but it was more than that. "I can't believe someone out there thinks I would do that."

"Oh, Ash," Misty said, finally swiveling around to look at him. "This person doesn't know you. They just think they do, for some strange reason. Or maybe they knew this wasn't what you're like and wrote it anyway. There are stories like that too."

That didn't make him feel better. Suddenly Ash wanted to run and find Pikachu again, just to hold him. He wanted to hold Pikachu's warm, healthy body, stroke his bright, shiny fur, and feel his full, but muscular belly just to be reminded of the partnership that he had. He was nothing like that…stranger being depicted on the screen.

"I'm sorry if this story upset you, Ash," Misty said, turning the monitor off. "I just find it funny when people get it so wrong. Other than that, the story isn't too terrible. I mean, the writing itself is fine—it just has a crappy core premise. It's even a little funny, though. In the end, I get your mother's cookie recipe just so I can train you with them."

Ash stiffened a little bit. Cookies? Maybe that writer knew more than they seemed to…

"Gosh, it's pitch black in here isn't it? One sec…"

Misty turned on her desk lamp before swiveling in her chair back to Ash. As soon as she saw him, her eyes widened and she pointed to his face. Specifically to his lips.

"Cookie thief!"

By reflex, Ash licked his lips, and found the slightest taste of chocolate at the corner of his mouth. Why hadn't Pikachu told him? And…had he ever put the package of cookies away?

Well. The one thing this author didn't know—in addition to not knowing anything about how Ash battled, apparently—was that he wasn't the true cookie fiend. The true cookie fiend in the Cerulean Gym that day was not him or Misty, but a little electric rodent, who had been left alone for quite a while now.

"Misty," Ash said, his tone just desperate enough to draw her eyes up to his. "We've gotta go!"

Moral: Everyone writes some bad stories. In case you missed it, all those excerpts up there do come from a real story existing on this site. Written by me. This is the first chapter from my Alphabet Challenge, "Addiction." No, not even I am cruel enough to pick some rando's story off this site and make fun of it so heartlessly. No, luckily I've written enough poop myself that I was able to use my past mistakes to illustrate something.

Exception: None. Everyone writes some bad stuff.

Second Moral: Ash would never abuse his Pokémon. I mean, yes, his Pokémon have ended up in dangerous condition before, but always super by accident. In this story, Misty lets us know that it's Ash's fault and it's a habit and that just isn't our sweet baby boy. Ash would never hurt his Pokémon.

Exception: Again, none? Unless there's some real defendable ignorance—it is Ash, after all—then, I repeat: Ash would never hurt his Pokémon.

#pokemon #pokeshipping #oneshot #pokemon fanfiction #pokeani #anipoke #oneshot series #ash ketchum #ash and misty #aaml #misty #pikachu #ash x misty #misty and ash #misty x ash

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thebladeblaster · 4 years ago

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Pokémon: the Vanguard Descends The Movie: Celebi Lost In Time (Part 2)

“Alright. Alright…”, Aichi replied half asleep, waving away Emi as she put her hands on her hips.

In Galar...

“Soon, the attack on Kakusa to retrieve master Gin’s family will be commenced.”, a Team Asteroid grunt said to another.

“Did you hear? Kakusa had the audacity to show 003v on tv dressed as Santa Claus.”, another grunt said.

“That’s probably just a stupid rumor.”, the other grunt replied.

“Hey has that plant always been there?”, the other pointed.

A pink potted flower sat next to the window seal. As the other grunt looked over to it had disappeared and the other grunt jumped. Out in the sky Celebi flew and was pink for some reason.

“So, that’s where she is Kakusa. 003v might also be there as well…”, Celebi thought as she flew by a ship.

Sharlene gasped as she saw Celebi from the ship’s scope.

“Celebi!”, Sharlene gasped.

She went to get Leon and her sister Jillian.

“Are you sure it was Celebi? You said it was pink.”, Jillian questioned.

Leon put his hand on his chin pondering before closing his eyes.

“I can feel it. It’s going east.”, Leon said.

“East huh? Are we going after it?”, Sharlene asked.

“I think I know where it’s going. Kakusa is east of here. If that’s really it’s destination we can’t follow. We were ordered not to attack till the planned time. However...we can send someone there. This is good opportunity to test the limits of the proto-dark balls.”, Leon said, before pulling out a phone.

“Why are they still prototypes anyway all of the tests have gone well?”, Jillian questioned.

“They have to be as strong as possible to be able to subjugate even the strongest of wills.”, Leon replied.

In Kakusa…

Celebi descended down on the coast of Sanctuary town. When she touched the ground she transformed to the winged girl from before in a flash without the wings though.

“I’d draw too much attention if I flew. I’ll have to walk around on foot.”, Celebi said to herself.

She looked around noticing various Pokémon scurrying onto the coast of Kakusa.

“If that monster is really here I can’t let him destroy this sanctuary.”, Celebi thought as she started walking.

At Histue Middle…

Aichi had just finished school and felt a bit exhausted from dealing with all the fans.

“I’ve gotta ask Kourin how she handles this.”, Aichi thought.

His expression lit up and he smiled as he saw Soul Saver in the distance, bolting towards him full of energy as usual. He felt a bit of spring in his step as well now.

“Haxorus! (Hi mommy!)”, Soul Saver greeted.

“Hello Soul Saver. You definitely have way more energy than I do.”, Aichi replied.

He got onto Soul Saver’s back and started to ride her home. He stopped when he saw someone he didn’t recognize waving at him to get his attention. Aichi stopped before the person wondering what this was about. The person was the redhead from back when Sanctuary town was taken over by Ren.

“Hey, you there, champ! I want a battle!”, the redhead said as he pointed at him.

“Haxorus! Haxorus! Haxorus! Haxorus! Haxorus? Haxorus? (Battle! Battle! Yah! Can we battle mommy?)”, Soul Saver asked.

“Alright. The elite four still aren't complete anyway and I accepted challengers who didn’t have all eight gym badges.”, Aichi replied as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Alright!”, the redhead replied.

“Well, I guess we can battle in the clearing near route 1.”, Aichi said.

At route 1

Aichi dismounted Soul Saver and stood across from the redhead.

“So, what’s your name?”, Aichi asked.

“Ishida Naoki.”, the redhead replied.

“Okay, Naoki. I’m Sendou Aichi. Let’s battle!”, Aichi replied.

“Go, Gauntlet!”, Naoki called out, throwing out a Gible.

“A dragon type huh? That’s pretty rare. Let go, Soul Saver!”, Aichi replied.

Soul Saver came forward prepared to battle.

“Were not about to lose to a steed! Gauntlet use dragon breath!”, Naoki said.

“Haxorus. Haxorus. (I’m no mere steed.)”, Soul Saver replied, puffing out her chest where the dragon breath hit which simply dispersed against her chest.

Naoki gaped at the level of power being displayed especially since the move should be super effective.

“It just brushed off my guy’s strongest attack by flexing?!”, Naoki gasped.

“Soul Saver use iron tail.”, Aichi ordered.

Soul Saver smacked the small dragon Pokémon with her tail which hardened to be as strong as steel. Gauntlet fell over fainting instantly from the attack.

“Damn it!”, Naoki cursed.

“Is something wrong? I can heal your Gible.”, Aichi replied, waving his hands.

Naoki recalled Gauntlet frowning.

“It’s not that.”, Naoki replied as he walked away.

“Wait!”, Aichi replied.

Naoki’s widened as the distance between them was closed in instance while he wasn’t paying attention. Naoki jumped a bit surprised how fast Aichi was.

“Why did you challenge me?”, Aichi asked as Naoki looked away with his hands in his pockets.

“I dunno. It was stupid considering you have six fully evolved Pokémon.”, Naoki replied.

“I guess I’m stupid too because I did the same thing in my first battle.”, Aichi chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

“No way!”, Naoki replied with shock.

In Sanctuary town…

Celebi walked throughout the town in her human form, looking around. She gasped as she saw Emi in the distance who was on her way home.

“Emi! Emi! I finally found you!”, Celebi said as she ran up to Emi.

She froze noticing Emi looked rather young compared to how she remembered. She looked back at her with a confused look.

“Have we met?”, Emi asked.

“I-I…”, Celebi trailed off, not knowing what to do.

“Did I go the past?!”, Celebi thought.

Emi noticed how troubled and awkward the other girl was feeling.

“Umm...did you mistake me for someone you knew? I’m Sendou Emi, what’s your name?”, Emi asked.

“S-Sendou? My name is Shuka...just Shuka.”, Celebi now known as Shuka replied.

“I haven’t seen you before are you new here?”, Emi asked.

“Yes, I just came to Kakusa uhh...Sendou.”, Shuka replied as Emi giggled.

“No need to be so formal. Sendou is my family name you can just call me Emi.”, Emi replied as Shuka blushed in embarrassment realizing her mistake.

“I can show you around if you want. I don’t have any plans today.”, Emi replied, she froze a bit realizing the girl seemed strangely familiar.

She had definitely seen her somewhere, but she couldn’t remember where. She cocked her head and put her finger under her chin as she tried to think of where she had seen Shuka.

“That would be nice. Thank you.”, Shuka replied a bit nervously, still feeling awkward.

In Galar…

“So, you want us to get Celebi for you? We’re not exactly your lap dogs.”, a male voice said from the phone Leon held.

“That’s true. Your group is separate from us, but I am aware that you have worked with 004a in the past. It’s not an order more of an offer. You can even keep Celebi if you want. I simply believe it would be a great test for the proto-dark balls and once their complete your organization will receive a generous donation of them.”, Leon replied.

“Interesting. Those dark balls do interest me along with acquiring a mythical Pokémon. You have a deal 002f.”, the voice replied.

“Great.”, Leon replied before hanging up.

“You aren’t serious about giving them dark balls and letting them catch Celebi are you?”, Jillian questioned.

“They won’t catch Celebi as long as 003v has anything to say about it. But, they will still be able to test the dark balls and I can get some more info on 003v’s current strength. I intend on sending some Intelions to spy on 003v as he fights the rare hunters.”, Leon replied.

“You're so smart, master Leon!”, Sharlene replied.

“Don’t forget we’re supposed to call him 002f, Sharlene!”, Jillian replied.

Near route 1…

Aichi and Naoki sat down on the grass. Soul Saver laid down on her stomach next to Aichi.

“Man that’s so crazy! You challenged a crazy strong guy in your first battle? You’ve definitely got some guts!”, Naoki laughed.

“Hehe. Well, everyone’s gotta start somewhere. To be honest I was super scared throughout my whole first battle. That’s where everything began for me.”, Aichi replied.

“You really are different from how I remember.”, Naoki replied as Aichi looked over to him surprised.

He then finally noticed his Miyaji middle uniform. He then was able to put two and two together from there.

“Oh!!! You're from Miyaji. I didn’t notice at all.”, Aichi replied.

“Yeah, in case you're wondering we never really interacted face to face, but I knew of you.”, Naoki explained.

“That’s a relief. I felt really awkward thinking I had forgotten you or something.”, Aichi replied.

Naoki looked at Aichi’s Histue uniform a bit sadly.

“I really should have done something. I was a big kid. I could have stopped those jerks who always picked on you. It got so bad you had to change schools for middle school.”, Naoki replied, lowering his head.

Aichi put his hand on his back.

“It’s alright. Besides everything’s fine now.”, Aichi assured.

“How can you forgive me or any of those other jerks from Miyaji so easily?”, Naoki questioned.

“It was a long time ago. Besides what would being angry do?”, Aichi replied.

“I guess you’re right. As for your question earlier I challenged you because I saw how much you had changed back when you saved Sanctuary town. I thought maybe battling had something to do with it so I tried battling you to see if I could change too. It’s funny I never thought I used Gauntlet again after I gave up on being a trainer years ago.”, Naoki replied.

“I’m glad we battled Naoki. You know I think I can help.”, Aichi replied.

“You think you’ll have time when you're the champion?”, Naoki questioned.

“We’ll I’m not busy everyday. I only attend meetings once a week and we’ll besides that I’m still looking for someone to fill the last elite four spot and it’s not like I spend all day doing that.”, Aichi replied.

“What happened to the elite four?!”, Naoki questioned cluelessly.

“Well.. 3/4ths of them were Team Asteroid so they left. I got Mamoru and Kazumi to fill two of the spots.”, Aichi explained.

“Wasn’t the Mamoru guy champion before? Who the heck is Kazumi?”, Nadoki asked.

“Yeah, Mamoru was champion before Ren was. Kazumi is actually a rather new trainer. He started a couple of weeks ago and he got all eight gym badges rather fast. When he heard about the elite four problem he offered to help out by filling one of the spots.”, Aichi answered.

“Oh, yeah you mentioned that earlier.”, Naoki replied.

“Yeah, it’s not as urgent as the seventh gym leader problem was. Thankfully I convinced Kyou to become the seventh gym leader. Not a lot of people get as far as the elite four as they do to the seventh gym.”, Aichi replied.

“So, what do you plan to do to help me anyway?”, Naoki asked.

“I dunno, but I’ll think of something.”, Aichi replied honestly as Naoki sweat dropped.

In Sanctuary town…

Emi and Shuka walked around the town with Emi showing her the various places in the small town. They got some Boba tea while they walked around town with Emi paying for the tea.

“You really are too nice Emi.”, Shuka said.

“It’s nothing. Besides the boba tea here is really cheap.”, Emi replied.

The two girls smiled at each other giggling.

“You know this has been a lot of fun though it started out awkward. I wonder if we’ve really met before. I had this strange feeling when I first saw you that I couldn’t place.”, Emi admitted.

“Really?”, Shuka questioned.

“Yeah, I don’t know why I’ve lived in Kakusa for most of my life so that should be impossible.”, Emi replied.

Shuka was silent pondering what this meant. If she was sent back in time Emi should have no recollection of her at all. Despite dealing with time travel before she was still puzzled about her situation. She didn’t have this problem before because she only used to show up during peacetimes. She had no idea when or where in when she was exactly. It couldn’t be a completely alternative universe or she wouldn’t recognize her.

“If I knew where Dran was I’d ask him. As the time legendary he knows way more about this than I do. I can simply travel through time, but I can’t control it the same way he does.”, Shuka thought.

“Yeah, it’s strange. I feel like I’ve met you too.”, Shuka replied.

“You even knew my name which was kinda weird. Maybe we have met somewhere? Or it’s just some crazy coincidence?”, Emi questioned.

Emi looked rather confused when Shuka suddenly froze. Shuka glared at whatever she was looking at and Emi turned her attention to what she was looking at. Her eyes widened as she noticed Aichi walking with some scary looking red headed boy and Soul Saver who had a little Gible riding on her head. It looked like the two dragon Pokémon were getting along chatting about something. She grew more confused when Shuka got in front of her, raising a white staff that seemed to come out of nowhere.

Aichi suddenly froze, much to Naoki’s confusion. A rainbow spiral briefly appeared in Aichi’s eyes which he thought was a trick of the light. Aichi suddenly turned his attention to two girls who had soba tea and one who held out some sort of staff.

#cardfight vanguard #pokémon #aichi sendou #emi sendou #celebi #leon soryu #Jillian Chen #Sharlene chen #naoki ishida #shuka #kazumi onimaru #mamoru anjou #haxorus #soul saver dragon #gible #gauntlet buster dragon #my crappy writing

5 notes · View notes

shmisolo · 5 years ago

Photo

I wanted to post the things I’ve made this year in one place. I haven’t posted most of them over here—largely because I’m not tumblring a lot these days. But I made a lot this year—both visual and written—that I’m proud of and wanted to share it out. You can find this post also in tweet form here!

Happy 2020, Reylo friends! It’s been a wild ride of a year, and mine couldn’t have been what it has been without you.

Visual

Oneshots

Investiture for @misscoppelia

In which Ben goes to daven for his father’s yahrtzeit and manages to prove to himself once again that he is both a terrible person and a terrible Jew.

Oh and he sort of falls in love.

baby you can drive my car for @talltig

They call them “soulmates.” Probably because it leaves less of a sting in their mouths.

The Kitchen for flypaper_brain

Rey and Ben, hunting for their first house.

alone with a heart meant for you for @nuanceismyjam

Ben orders Grubhub; Rey's car breaks down.

myosotis for @rissanox

Ben picked the flowers for their wedding.

and beyond for @lilithsaur

“Please?”

For a moment, he thinks it will be like the first time, him begging, her crying and saying no and him not knowing how to protect his crushed heart.

But she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t say, “Please don’t go this way,” she doesn’t look horrified or disgusted. She just grabs him by the front of his shirt and tugs his lips down to hers before reaching down to cup his cock.

You, Me, and He for @rissanox, @persimonne, and @misscoppelia

When they say that Kylo's brain is in his groin, they're not far from the truth.

Alternatively,

In which Kylo Ren is his own penis.

Bliss, Balance and Birth for @selunchen

Ben teaches their daughter to read.

💦💦💦💦

In which Ben accidentally implies that he gets his cardio from having sex on national television.

Favorites for @lilithsaur

In which Matt is preoccupied in getting Daisy the perfect token of his love on this, the two month anniversary of her agreeing to be his girlfriend.

A Trash Triplets AU.

Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out | Moodboard

“Listen asshole,” Rey says as she steps through the door of Poe’s deli. “You have exactly as long as it takes me to buy these cigarettes.”

Ben doesn’t waste a second breathing. “Metaphysically speaking, you and I are intrinsically and inexplicably linked,” he starts because there’s no time for beating around the bush and besides, Rey can sniff out a lie like no one else. “And I'm convinced our true purpose is to to connect with each other, if not help save each other's lives.” She’s opening her wallet and handing Poe a ten. “In another world, hopefully you are doing the same for me.”

The Other Thing for @persimonne

That’s what they don’t warn you about, he thinks idly. In his DesEd class, they’d warned him about knots, and heats, and ruts, and nesting. But they’d never warned him that her home would smell so much like her, like everything he’s ever wanted, that he would be unable to extricate himself.

“Can you make it a little more interesting in like...thirty minutes?” he asks her.

She pulls away and he immediately regrets saying a damn word.

“I could make that work,” she replies dryly. “I’ll pencil you in.”

A for... for @loveofescapism

Rey’s seeing double by the time there’s food on her plate. Oh. There’s food on her plate. That’s good. That’s unexpected at this point. “Eat,” Ben tells her.

So she does. It tastes good. Very good. She likes this food a lot.

“I’ll make sure she knows,” Ben says.

Oh she’s at that point of drunk where she’s just saying things out loud instead of keeping them in her internal monologue.

“You are,” Ben says, looking very amused.

She hopes she doesn’t say anything embarrassing.

“I promise, you haven’t yet, but oh boy, I’m looking forward to this.”

She shoves food into her mouth to keep herself from thinking out loud about his dick in her ass at his mother’s Passover seder.

do or do not (do the do)

In which Ben, in an effort to improve his stamina (look he's making progress, ok?) after reading some articles that he'll never be able to unread, receives some coaching (that he very much did not ask for).

(Very much did not ask for.)

(Not) Interested for @thewayofthetrashcompactor, @monsterleadmehome, @destiniesfic, yuktipatipriya

We're bringing Speed Dating back to Space Battles Bonanza! Register online for one of our special Bonanza sessions of 15 three-minute dates so you’ll no longer have to look for love in a galaxy far far away. Choose from one of seven speed dating sessions, two of which are queer focused. If the Insurgents can blow up the Doom Moon in 11 minutes, let’s see if you can make a love connection in only three.

There’s a history of successful Speed Dating at Space Battles Bonanzas, with long-term couples, engagements and marriages now among the alumni.

In which Rey & Kylo meet at their fancon's speed dating.

Never Die for @avamarga

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you.

Forged for @reyloner

There are several reasons that Ben would never have dreamed he’d ever receive this text. The first is that he’d be invited to a Halloween party. The second is that he’d never in his life expected to be in a serious relationship, much less the sort of serious relationship where his partner would suggest matching Halloween costumes. And the last is that he is dating someone who’s show only and they’ve only almost murdered one another twice. Because he’s an A Song of Ice and Fire fan. He hates Game of Thrones.

and getting caught in the rain for @kylorenvevo

What's the point of going to a family wedding if you're not going to hook up with your newly rediscovered brother's baseball coach?

A Picture's Worth for @selunchen

reyjay: hiya your art is amazing

reyjay: it’s a big ask but could you draw me for my art final tomorrow? i’m shit at drawing people and i can’t fail this. can you help?

He stares.

And stares.

kyloren: is this some kind of a joke?

reyjay: no?? why??

kyloren: you’re asking me to help you cheat your exam, but you’re not even offering me money?

Bang for your Buck

“We ready?” he asks her, sounding huffy.

“Nice to meet you Ben, I’m just familiarizing myself with your training,” she replies.

“Ok, well I don’t have all day.”

“No, you have,” she checks her watch, “another hour.” Because of course he’d booked an extra long session. Bless that sweet, sweet overtime pay.

“And you’re sure you know what you’re doing?” he asks her and she glances up at him, sure that her eyes are flashing because that’s fucking rude. She’s a professional. Amilyn wouldn’t have hired her if she didn’t know what she’s doing, and just because he apparently thinks he’s the center of the universe doesn’t change that fact.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your bang for your buck,” she tells him icily.

Two to Tango

Rey: I need to ask you something awkward. Ben: What’s up? Rey: Can I give you a blowjob? Please?

atlanta > all atlanta > community > missed connections for @sand-its-everywhere

In which Rey meets a cosplayer at DragonCon.

Sonsick (I'll fall for you soon enough) for @jeenonamit & YTCShepard

Sheev and Snoke share a moment at the country club.

A Thousand Words for @monsterleadmehome | Moodboard

In which, some years later, Ben encounters someone he drew for nudes.

Truth and Death written for this year’s @reylofanfictionanthology

Ben opens the box. Inside, he sees the charred remains of a helmet.

------------

She is made of sand-turned-clay, where other moving creatures are made of flesh and blood. Their skin cracks in the dry Jakku sun just like hers, but they are alive in their organs.

Rey is alive in a different way.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year written with @jeenonamit | Moodboard

Rey convinces Ben--and his sentient penis--to go with her to a Halloween party.

What could go wrong?

(Working title: "Dicklo 2: Electric BOO-galoo")

Shalom Rav! for @jeenonamit | Moodboard

In which Rey comes to terms realizing that she is attracted to the rabbi.

when the stars and moon align just so for @capaldisrighteyebrow

Songs spoke of red stars on nights that blood was shed. Stars bled too when the great fell. There were no red stars tonight. The stars did not bleed for Snoke.

Would they bleed for Ben?

She swallowed.

Because despite his own words—that he served his master (master, as though he were a draft horse to be yoked and plow the fields of men), that he would give everything to his master, she had seen doubt in his eyes that night, three years ago, when the stars and moon had aligned just so.

oh, my love, don't forsake me (take what the water gave me) for @reyloner and @loveofescapism

Their sabers clashed, humming in the spray, and Rey's heart was in her throat the entire time.

it’s you and me (i know it’s our destiny) | Moodboard

It’s just a kid’s game, he thinks when jealousy pangs in his heart. But it’s more than just a kid’s game.

It’s Pokémon.

It’s the only good thing in his life.

will you come when i call you (i’ll come when you call me) | Moodboard

Surely when Snoke had connected them, he hadn’t connected them like this.

—

@reylo_prompts: “Due to the Force bond Rey and Ben always come simultaneously. Now they need to figure out how not to do that since it can result in awkward situations.”

The Sweater Curse for @jeenonamit & @commandercrouton

She’s never made a sweater before, but she saw the pattern on Ravelry and who cares if she’s only made (lumpy) hats before—she has to try it. She has to make it. She has to make it for Ben.

“You realize that Hannukah isn’t an important holiday, right?” Ben asks as she makes eye contact with him. His eyes are big and brown and—at this moment—mildly annoyed.

“Really? Is it a giant conspiracy theory? Part of the war on Christmas?”

“More than you realize,” Ben says and for the life of her she can’t tell if he’s joking. He does this thing sometimes that’s confusing—where he’ll say something that sounds mopey but is actually snarky and it disarms her every damn time. “In any event, ugly Hanukkah sweaters definitely aren’t a thing the way ugly Christmas sweaters are.”

“Well, they are now,” Rey says firmly. “I’m making you an ugly Hanukkah sweater. Deal with it. And stop moving.”

Ours Is The Fury for @reyloner & @commandercrouton

Rey was tasked with taking Storm's End for her king. She defeated the Storm King Snoke in the Rainwood, but when she proceeded to the castle itself, preparing for a long siege, things did not go to plan.

Seen ✔️✔️ for @ever-so-reylo | Graphic

His lock screen has three texts from Rey on it:

Rey Wife: Babe I know you’re probably busy right now, but you sent that pic to the wrong chat. Rey Wife: Bennnnnnn Rey Wife: Call me when you’re done processing your trauma.

And then about ninety chats from the Skywalker Ranch WhatsApp thread.

In which Ben sends a picture to the wrong chat.

With you, Always for @jeenonamit, @nuanceismyjam, and YTCShepard

Rey's boyfriend is now a Force ghost but they're sure as fuck gonna try fucking anyway.

Chaptered Fics

we decided not to kill the wolves (we wanted to be wolves) for @nerdherderette | Complete | Moodboard

A pack of wolves lives in the woods to the north of Raddus and as winter looms, they have their eyes set on Leia Organa’s stronghold. Rey may be new to Raddus, but she’s not about to do nothing while it may be in danger. And besides, Poe must be exaggerating about wolves the size of bears. She’s not afraid of monsters.

Carry In My Core (That Voice I Adore) | Complete | Moodboards

Starring in her first opera would be stressful as is, but Rey, always one to outdo herself, just had to go and make things even more complicated with Kylo Ren. It’s hard enough looking him in the eye, much less pretending to be in love with him. She can make it through this. She has made it through worse. She can make it through this.

shadow boxes | Complete

Just because they aren’t together, doesn’t mean they’re not in love.

anyway you want to (anyway you've got to) | Complete

But you know she's getting something other Than the love from her mother

A Porn Challenge in which your author makes Rey and Ben bone their way through the month of February.

words like tomorrow (or future, or fate) for @haloren1st & @staticcatfish | Complete

One day, Rey wakes in a body that's not her own in a town she's never been to before. Who is Ben, whose body she seems to be possessing, and who woke up in her body? Why are they connected this way?

---

A Your name. AU.

Above us, stars. Beneath us, constellations. for @valsansretour | Complete | Moodboard

Ben woke, but Luke’s saber wasn’t ignited. Instead, he saw a master who had shattered his trust, who thought he was a monster, and—worse—he was probably right.

So he fled Yavin IV, to Skywalker’s dismay, and no one heard from him since.

Years later, on a wasteland planet, a girl and a fugitive stormtrooper board a Corellian YT-1300 light freighter in desperation to find they are not the only ones trying to steal it.

Why Don’t You And I Combine for @ever-so-reylo | Complete | Moodboard

Rey’s phone rings while she’s at the farmer’s market. She lets it ring. They have a line and it’s only a few hours, and the girls are at school and it’s just her today, so she doesn’t have enough hands. Rose and Finn and Poe are helping Ben move furniture out of his apartment and into the house. They’re probably calling about something silly, or Ben’s calling to say he’s fully moved in and he’s lying in their bed—possibly with his hand on his cock—and that he’s thinking of her.

—

In which life continues, grows, and Rey and Ben continue to rebuild their relationship.

A sequel to Let’s Get Together.

The Love Committee for @jeenonamit | Complete | Moodboard

In which Rey, tired of her bad luck with dating apps and failed relationships, enlists her friends' help in determining who she should date next.

They take it a little too seriously.

A Year of Me and You for autonomee | Complete

“After you move in with one another, give yourself six months to like one another again,” Maz says, looking at Rey seriously through her bottlecap glasses.

“I’m not going to fall out of love with—”

“No, no. Not love. Love’s not got anything to do with it, child. Like.”

Non-linear vignettes of various length, set during the first year Rey and Ben live together.

Hanging by a Moment for pillar-of-salt | Complete | Mix

There are many things that Ben could have tolerated about his parents’ divorce. That his mother had finally had it with his father’s borderline illegal—or rather, as he liked to put it, borderline legal—company, the shady activities it covered that would doubtlessly end her political career if a reporter got hold of them; that his father had finally had it with the way his mother nags, because sure, he’d thought it was hot twenty years ago, but he is in fact an adult who can actually keep his shit together—all that he would have gotten. He’d have been wrecked, but he’d have gotten it.

His dad leaving his mom for a nineteen-year-old gold-digger though, and his mother not even putting up a fight—that had caught him by surprise.

That had hurt.

Be nice to her, Ben, his mother had said on the phone when he’d spoken to her for the first time in five years. She just lost your father.

Yeah. So did I.

Cupcake Wars | Complete | Fingerpainting + Playlist

Entirely by accident, Rey ends up fucking someone who works for Snoke's Cupcakery. She's just blowing off steam. It doesn't mean anything at all. It certainly won't come back to bite her in the ass.

in nobody's eyes but mine for @ever-so-reylo | Complete | Moodboard

Rey had spent too much of her life feeling as though permanence could only be transient so why bother with it. What was long-term? What was mating? What was home?

the water won’t have ya if the devil’s too blind for @thekesselrun | Complete | Moodboard

That water’s too dirty to wash away your sins.

“They’re not sins. I didn’t commit them against god. There is no such thing as god.”

Then whatever you want to call them. Crimes don’t get washed away by a river.

“It’s a cursed river,” Ben points out.

No, it’s a polluted river. Curses aren’t real. Not like that, anyway.

“Are you really well-actually-ing me?”

Yes, I am. Because you’re an idiot. Some extremely oily and not remotely potable water is not going to be able to remove the guilt you feel about killing your father, turning your back on your mother, murdering hundreds of innocents, and helping the First Order destroy the world. Especially when you knew I wasn’t going to let you die.

–

In which Ben Solo washes up on shore, very still alive and unsure of what to do next until a passing scavenger offers him a lift on her boat. Who is he now? Who does he want to be?

Apples & Honey for @peaceblessingspeyton | Complete | Moodboard

When Ben catches wind that his mother is planning to foist a potential girlfriend on him when he comes home for Rosh Hashanah, he takes matters into his own hands: specifically, he runs to Rey and asks her to pretend to be his girlfriend.

There Is Another for @kylorenvevo | Complete | Moodboards: Ch 1 | Ch 3 | Ch 7 | Ch 9 | Ch 11 | Ch14

“Mission success?”

“You will be interested in this.”

“Oh?”

Kylo glances back over his shoulder. The girl he had found on Takodana is still deeply unconscious, and will remain so for a long while. He had knocked her out as deeply as he could. She had fired at him the moment she’d seen him, resisted him tooth and nail. He does not want her waking up until he has her properly restrained, and he had not come to Takodana prepared to take any prisoners.

A shiver runs up his spine as he tries to shove away how it had felt, carrying her through that forest.

“Yes.”

“How so?”

The trouble with helmets is he can’t look Kira dead in the eye anymore. He can’t watch her face closely to see what will happen when he tells her,

“She’s you.”

Dear Mr. President | WIP | Moodboards: Ch13

Dr. Dameron shifts and slides a manilla folder across the desk to her. “Under ordinary circumstances, I’d let you keep the folder. I hope you’ll understand why I can’t do that this time around.”

She opens it and stares.

She stares and stares and stares.

Dr. Dameron has to be kidding. There have to be hidden cameras here, this has to be some elaborate prank. That’s why it’s him here and not Dr. Wexley—that was his name. Dr. Wexley.

But instead of getting to her feet and tossing her hair and saying he was cruel for playing with her heart like this, all she does is ask, blankly, “So...Ben Solo is my soulmate? Our new president is my…”

She swallows.

And Dr. Dameron nods.

so long lives this and this gives life to thee | WIP | Moodboard

His smile fades and he falls to the ground, his head hitting the ground with a sharp crack.

“Ben!” The yell echoes around them in the darkness and Rey lurches forward, her hands scrabbling over his face, his neck, trying to find a pulse.

She bursts into tears when she finds it. She doesn’t know why she’s crying. He’s alive.

———

In which Ben's Force Sensitivity—and not his life—was given to save Rey.

a little death (goes a long way) for @talltig | WIP | Moodboard

“That’s good of you,” he replies. “Especially with the O-Negative.”

“It’s a good deal,” she says and he glances up. Yeah, because Omega blood is harder to find. A taste of life, because they almost never survive the turn.

#reylo #reylo fanfic #reylo fic #rffa writers #year in review

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himbowelsh · 5 years ago

Note

webgott + jane/ chicken pox

a little fall of meme can hardly hurt me now ( accepting )

AN: this is almost certainly not what you were hoping for, but do you have ANY IDEA how much i’ve missed this little family?? writing jane?? this is officially part of the single dad web au and i regret nothing

It takes exactly thirty seconds of Googling for Joe to declare Webster banned from the house.

“What?” Webster exclaims, bracing himself against the doorframe as his fiancé blocks his way. “Are you serious? This is my house.”

“Our,” Joe corrects, because this is the hill he’s willing to die on, but not one Webster should. “The day I moved in, it became my house, and I’m temporarily kicking you out.”

“This isn’t funny, Joe. Let me in.”

“Nope,” Joe declares, and moves to slam the door in his face. Webster blocks it, and nearly gets a broken shoulder for the trouble. He’s nothing if not determined, the idiot. Gritting his teeth, Joe moves to shove him out, but Webster takes advantage of his loose stance to push himself further inside.

“My name is on the lease, so you can’t evict me — Joe, seriously, what the hell?” Finally, Webster pushes his way inside; he stands in the middle of the living room, hands on his hips. Webster’s got a Dad Mode, obviously learned through experience, and it’s in full gear now; he looks like he’s about to take away Joe’s X-Box for a week, though the genuine anger on his face speaks for itself. “What are you trying to do?” he demands, taking a step forward. “My kid’s in there, and she’s sick, so what do you mean I can’t be in there with her —“

“She’s got spots, Web,” Joe interjects, voice flat. “They showed up while you were at the store. Her arms are covered in them.”

Webster processes this for a moment, understanding dawning across his face. “Just chicken pox, then? Okay, that’s not so bad.”

Joe snorts, running a hand through his hair to force it back. When Webster raises an eyebrow at him, he just shakes his head. “That alone tells me you ain’t ever had chicken pox. So you’re gonna stay out of this house until Jane’s better, and I’ve deep cleaned everything. Not taking any chances.”

“Joe. Come on.” Webster’s incredulity is clearly toeing the line of frustration, but he doesn’t get it. “It’s just chicken pox.”

“Yeah, for her, because she’s ten.” Joe sweeps a hand towards Jane’s closed bedroom door — brightly decorated with drawings of Pokémon, sea creatures, and cartoon characters. Behind it, the poor kid’s laid up in bed, sheets thrown off because she’s too hot. Her dark curls are a tangled mess, since she couldn’t be bothered to tame them this morning; but they can’t quite hide the bright red rash steadily creeping up her neck. Joe was freaked out for a few minutes, before he recognized it. Once you’ve had chicken pox once, you never really forget those splotches, or the goddamn itch. “For her it’s just a little thing, sure. It’ll be over in a week. But in adults, it’s not so little.”

“Oh, come on —“

“Chicken pox is twenty-five times deadlier in adults.”

That shuts Webster up.

“I — you —“ He fumbles for words for a moment, the gears in his pretty little head apparently jammed up. “Have you —“

“Yeah, Web, I’ve had it before. Gave it to my whole family when I was six.” He rolls his eyes, before they catch on the plastic bag in Webster’s hand. Leaning across the room, he gets just close enough to pluck the bag from him, and immediately starts pawing around inside.

“Whatcha get, whatcha get... Tylenol, good.” He tosses it on the counter. “Children’s vitamins, weird, but okay — seriously, Web?” He holds up a shark plushie with unnervingly large, glittering eyes.

“They were on sale,” is Webster’s only defense. “And Jane loves getting new toys when she’s sick!”

“Amazing you didn’t raise a spoiled brat.” Joe returns to the bag with a snort. Pulling out a pack of mango orange juice — the only thing Jane will drink when she’s sick, apparently — he finally lays out Webster’s haul on the counter. For a moment, he scrutinizes it, lips pursed. “You’re gonna have to go back,” he finally says. “She’ll need calamine, for the itching. You can find it in a bottle, or a little can that sprays... and who can you stay with ‘til this blows over? We could ask Lip, he’s got an extra room, or — could you call Hoob? Dukeman?”

“For god’s sake, Joe,” Webster groans, “I’m not going anywhere, just to leave you to take care of my sick kid!”

That actually bites. Joe goes still, words dying in his throat. His gaze stalls on the counter for a moment, intent, before he rounds on Webster. This is a conversation they’ve had before — many, many times before — and he didn’t think they’d need to have it again.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he demands, voice low instead of harsh. “You really think I mind it? You think when I moved in here with you guys, when I put that ring on my finger, I wasn’t signing up for this?” He pauses for a moment, drinking in the silence, before throwing his hands in the air. “Jesus, Web. Shit. If we’re still on that page —“

“Alright.” Webster, at least, looks appropriately shamefaced. In any other situation, this could easily spiral into an argument — not like they haven’t gone to war over dumber stuff — but now isn’t the time or place. He sighs, raising his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry. It just... feels wrong to leave you on your own.”

Jane’s not bad company at the best of times. Actually, Joe likes hanging out with her more than he does with her dad. At least Jane can put up a good fight in any video game — even the ones she’s technically not allowed to play — and she’s got enough stories to fill a library. Half of them, Joe suspects, she’s just making up off the top of her head, but Jane’s got an imagination like a firecracker. Her drawings are always brimming with color and life. When she brings them to her dad or Joe for inspection, she demands constructive criticism, and takes it seriously. Jane’s always busy — if she’s not drawing, she’s reading, and if she’s not reading, she’s writing, and if she’s not writing she’s caught in a very intense make-believe game in the backyard — but somehow she still finds time to spend with the adults.

It’s not like Joe doesn’t like Jane. It’s not like being around her is some burden or anything. Hell, he thinks he even loves her a bit — in a way he never imagined getting to love a kid of his own. He loves Webster, and Jane means the world to Web, so it’s simple as that.

And Web thinks he wouldn’t want to take care of Jane while she’s sick? Jesus.

“You kidding me? We’ll have a great time. Jane’s been trying to get me into Harry Potter, anyway, and you gotta show your kid Star Wars… I don’t trust you with the greats.” His topic shift is clearly a dismissal of the entire argument. Good old Web doesn’t get the hint.

“But you shouldn’t —“

“Fuck’s sake!” Joe exclaims — and if he wasn’t genuinely mad before, he is now. His tone lowers a second later, mindful of Jane in the other room, even if it’s hardly the first time she’s heard the two of them tear at each other. Instead, Joe settles for tossing the plastic bag on the ground, in blatant defiance of Web’s “pick things up” rule, and glaring at him. When Web gapes at him, incredulous, Joe just raises an eyebrow. Whatcha gonna do? Come over here and pick it up? It’s probably got chicken pox on it.

“You,” Joe says in a low voice, “are gonna let me do this for you. I’m gonna look after Janie. You are gonna go to the store and get some calamine, for shit’s sake, and then you’re gonna call up Hoobler and ask if he’s got a spare room. You can get whatever you need from our room, but I want you outta here, Web.”

Webster is silent for a moment, like he has to thoroughly chew his thoughts before saying them. His sigh, when it comes out, shakes a bit. “Joe…”

“Just let me take care of you,” he says again, and sees the exact moment Web breaks.

“What sort of lotion do we need again?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joe’s encountered Sick Web in the wild before. He’s a drama queen if they ever existed — clingy, listless, and depressive. If he can manipulate you into doing something for him, he will; if he needs to act sicker than he is, he’ll damn well do it. If he gets you sick, he’ll have no remorse. Flu season in their house still feels like a bad dream, one Joe prefers not to revist.

Sick Jane, in comparison, is a dream.

“It’s so nice not to be in bed,” she chirps, sounding downright cheerful as she balances a soup bowl in her lap. Joe keeps an eye on her — not just because she’ll be devastated if she spills on her octopus PJs, but because of the scratching. Jane’s a sneaky scratcher. Joe’s caught her doing it at least twenty times today, and no matter how much he hammers the point home that she won’t get better if she keeps scratching at the things, she doesn’t quite get it. There’s a patch of spots just under her chin that are really giving her trouble, but other than that, she’s holding out well.

“It’s only if you’re up for it, okay? You start feeling tired and it’s back to bed.”

Jane makes a face at him. Joe rolls his eyes and makes a face right back.

“So,” she says, having seized control of the remote. “What do you wanna watch now?”

“I dunno, the amount of movies we’ve watched this week —“

“You want to watch a cartoon? Some of the new Marvel ones are supposed to be good, I haven’t seen them.”

“Meh. We could. Ooh, how about Young Jus—“

He’s cut off by the sound of hammering — not at the door, but at the goddamn window.

Jane yelps as a splash of her soup hits the couch cushions; Joe nearly falls to the floor, scrambling for the first weapon he can find, which happens to be the remote. The curtains are half closed to the cool night, which means anyone outside could see in if they got close enough — and, as Joe approaches the windowpane, he can see a white hand pressed to the glass.

It clicks for Jane first. “Oh my gosh,” she gasps, leaping from the couch. “Daddy!”

Joe has to fight the urge to groan as Webster’s smiling face appears in the window. How many times is this, now — eight? Nine? It’s been almost a week since Web left, but he sure hasn’t let himself be forgotten. Every day, he stops by… either to see Jane and leave gifts, or to see him and leave gifts. Collectively, they’re now three books, two plushies, three video games, three DVDs, and a dozen snacks richer.

At the moment, though, Webster’s not carrying any bags. He doesn’t seem to have shown up with anything — just himself.

It’s also impossible to hear him through the window, but to Jane that doesn’t seem to matter.

“Hi, Daddy,” she says, pressing her hand to the outline of Web’s in the glass. “Are you okay? Are you staying safe? Look at my spots, these ones are starting to get scabs. Joe’s been making soup every night, I’m so tired of it — can you get me a fruit salad? I like the hammerhead you brought over—“

Heaving a soft sigh, Joe steps back, giving the two some space. Knowing Jane, she can go on for a while… and she’s missed her dad. Rather than intrude on the moment, Joe slips out the kitchen door, into the backyard. The night air is sweet, waking him up in all the places exhaustion was starting to weigh on him. He closes his eyes, tilting his head to bask in it. The temptation to light up a cigarette is strong, but he’ll never hear the end of it from Web if he found out, so Joe just sits in the steps, arms braced against his knees as he stares into the night.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, footsteps echo around the side of the house.

“Oh, scarecrow. I think I missed you most of all.”

Joe exhales, deep from his chest. “That why you’ve been coming around every day? Careful, Web. I’m gonna start thinking you’ve got a crush on me.”

“Now, more than ever,” Webster replies, and the sweetness in his voice takes Joe aback.

When Joe looks over, he finds Web standing with his hands in his pockets, silhouetted against the porch light. His expression is open, warm — and his eyes might be glittering a bit too, which, crissakes Web — vulnerable in a way that leaves Joe feeling unmasked.

These are not the sort of feelings Joe knows how to deal with. He shrugs, eager to shake them off.

“Hey, you know, you don’t come back soon and Jane and I might take over this place for ourselves. We’re thinking of putting in a movie theater… indoor swimming pool…” Web is still smiling at him, and it leaves Joe feeling a bit weak. The bravado in his voice slides away, tone gentling. “A few more days, yeah? You saw her. She’s doing great. As soon as those spots scab up, she’s all yours.”

“You’re doing a great job, Joe.” And, because Web can never resist making everything ridiculously sappy, “Thank you.”

Joe shrugs, and has to look away. “Next time you visit, bring a pizza or something, huh?”

“I do have something for you, actually. Jane, uhh — Jane told me to give it to you.”

“Yeah?” Interest piqued, Joe turns back. “What?”

Web isn’t smiling now. He actually looks a little mortified. Sterling himself, he shuffles his feet, clearing his throat. “I — okay, Jane told me, remember, she said I had to —“

“Web.”

At last, Webster cracks. He raises a hand to his lips, and — to Joe’s amazement — blows a massive kiss.

“Thank you,” is all Web says — and he doesn’t get upset, even when Joe almost falls over cackling.

Any time, Web, he thinks, gripping the porch railing for dear life. Any time.

#webgott #david webster #joe liebgott #band of brothers #single dad web au #my writing #Anonymous

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curiousobjecthead · 5 years ago

Text

Sexism and double standards, and canon expectations

i know i know, today’s topic was more about shipping, wasn’t it ? and like this it doesn’t really sound like it has anything to do with it, right ?

well !!! we’ll see about that !

for everyone that follows me, y’all know that i am The OC advocate. what is up with nox again ? oh, you know, complaining about how ocs are treated in the community. this time, however, we’re gonna spice things up a lil’ bit.

we spoke about female characters a while ago ! about female ocs, and how they’re perceived. or about shipping with ocs, at all ! and while we can all agree that this situation sucks a whole lot, right ?

HOWEVER !!! We did NOT speak about canon characters !

because that’s right, they’re also here, and they are also facing struggles ! but what kind of struggles, nox, i hear you scream. well that’s simple.

welcome, to this long post, that you can totally reblog if you want to.

CANON CHARACTERS - A FANDOM’S WHOLE EXPECTATION

don’t tell me you don’t have those. everybody has those ! it goes from shipping, to how a character should be portrayed, it’s out there, everywhere, and more characters than others suffer from it. in fact, a while ago, this post from @champizard roamed around ( hey jay B) ), and i am linking it here because it proves one of my points.

► when you roleplay a canon character, there are SHIPPING EXPECTATIONS.

leon and sonya, leon and raihan, raihan and piers, nessa and sonya, nessa and milo, and oh, here it is, the examples i hate the most, but guzma and lusamine and maxie and archie.

note that i am not here to bash on any ship. we all got different tastes. this a community ! but we got a point where we gotta draw the line.

the problem here, is that someone, let us say, someone that roleplays a nessa (which is an example i’m gonna use A Lot on this post), who do you think is going to try to ship with them? the answer is: milos, and sonyas, mainly. because that is what the fandom wants. because those ships are the ones the fandom cheriches. because that is what you see the most in the fandom, because those are popular ships, and because THIS is what the fandom EXPECTS.

once again, don’t get me wrong. ship what you ship, and have fun as a duo. what matters is that this is all consensual, talked about, y’know, something both parties feel hella comfortable with.

emphasis on consensual and comfortable.

i’ve had friends leave fandoms because they were forced a ship upon, and not only by roleplayers that played the other side of the ship, but by the community itself. had friends not knowing how to feel exactly, because they had these waves of characters, ALL THE SAMES, comin’ at them like hurricanes, all for one thing, and them not shipping that, or simply not being that much into shipping.

canons are expected to be shipping outlets, and if for ocs, that is seen as a bad thing, for canons, you bet your ass it is positive. and especially if it is a popular character. we’ve had the guzmas, now it’s the leons, i feel, y’know?

so now that we talked about that, let’s tackle the other two subjects, yeah ? starting with good ol’ sexism.

FEMALE MUSES AND WHAT THEY ALL GO THROUGH

we talked about female ocs. we talked about how they’re treated. about how female ocs are frowned upon, more than male ocs. about how they are seen as objects, shipping outlets, little accessories that nobody really wants. you got a female oc? and she’s nice, and good-looking, and strong? she’s likeable? ah, you must be here for the shipping, you disgusting bag of dicks! and she’s absolutely a mary sue, you absolutely do not know how to write a character !

and this example right there not only happened to me and many others, but also totally killed my muse for a very long while, and i still feel sometimes self-conscious about logging on that blog. y’all see what happens to creativity when you say shit like that ?

but, lo and behold, THE OTHER WAY AROUND ALSO EXISTS

i am talking about female characters that are so oversexualised by the fandom, the character now depicted by a roleplayer is seen as what the fandom sees it: a meat market.

the unwanted ‘step on me queen’, the ‘you’re fine, girl’, the forced shipping, the unwanted sexism, the expectation of NSFW.

and i’m gonna drop here, once again, the nessa case: nessa, a beautiful woman, nessa, a strong character, nessa, beautiful nessa, who’s likeable also, is loved by the fandom, and here’s the double standards.

and here’s everyone wanting to ship with her.

oversexualisation of a character is not something seen with canon characters only -- a friend of mine, @exspiravited, got the same kind of trouble with Gira, their giratina gijinka oc, and here is the post.

sexism and oversexualisation in the community isn’t something uncommon, and something that, frankly? nobody fucking talks about. yet it is there, it is well alive, and the community eats it without noticing. the community feeds on it, the same community that looks down upon some kind of characters and how they are depicted, does the exact fuckin’ same. yeah i see you. i see you sending weird anons, weird, disgusting anons, or forcing ships on someone else when you’re not even roleplaying a character of that ship.

if someone wants to be thisrty on their blog? they can do it themselves. they don’t need outside, unwanted help. they’re doing just fine, don’t worry.

so yeah, that’s done ! hey, double standards ! let’s talk about that !

this one is gonna be more about ocs, that we all know and i love, because once again, i saw some shit.

y’all know dosh’te. you know, the character on this blog? y’all know it wasn’t easy. people would often tell me that an objecthead shouldn’t be in the pokémon universe, that it’s weird, that it shouldn’t be there.

same people absolutely adore ball guy.

you can understand the euphoria, and sadness, and anger i felt, once i noticed all that.

an oc will never be, can never be, and will never be accepted like a canon character is.

this is the double standard, that we already tackled before. y’know, with female characters and all? and shipping? ocs are always getting the scrapes.

don’t get me wrong - i get it ! sometimes i also frown slightly at an oc bio, but then i realize, why the fuck should i? this canon character does this, right? and then it hit me -- we are still in the mindset that creativity, when it comes to an oc, is ALWAYS A BAD THING.

your oc’s an objecthead? no can do! your gym leader oc is also a model? where they got that time from?! no, shut up! you can do that -- oh hey, ball guy and nessa !

your oc cannot be something too much. why so? they are seen as a mary sue. how do i know that? because my very own character, aria, was accused as such, many times.

if your character is too strong, you’re powerplaying, they’re a mary sue. if you character is known, you’re powerplaying, they’re a mary sue. if your character is pretty, they’re a mary sue -- come on. we already talked about this yall.

so there you have it ! thanks for making it this far !

what my sick, twisted, impidimp hands forced me to write on a monday evening. in the end, what have we learned ? to be nice and understanding. this is a community yo, we gotta look out for each other, watch each other’s backs. this how shit works. if we’re ganging up on each other, and making this a pretty unsafe place, then, what’s the point ?

don’t forget to read the rules, read the bio, and if you got any more questions ? be nice, and ask away.

peace B)

#ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉʳ ᵒ��ᶫᶦᶰᵉ ⚡ || mun #[ vent tag ]#[ idk if its venting or nah ]#[ psa tag ]#[ yeah more like it i guess ??? i should have an oc discourse tag ]

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nagichi-boop · 5 years ago

Note

hi!!! can i get a matchup pls??? • im 170cm, very pale, i have a few freckles on my face and i have this mole below my left eye (other ppl look good w it why does mine look like dirt??? 😖), i lean more on the thick side but unfortunately not that thick 😔🤘, my hair is always up on a ponytail!! bc its rlly hot in my country, i only let my hair down at home. oh!! and my hair is shoulder length 🍰

im really quiet at first but when you get close to me i can get rlly loud. not all the time tho, talking too much exhausts me :d i appear as a very boyish person to others so i hide the fact that i like stuff like sanrio, pokemon, star butterfly vs. the forces of evil- ok i gotta stop. i like sending my friends weird memes at 3am. the reaction they give in the morning feeds my soul 👌 🍰

im a multimedia arts student!! i love editing photos and videos so thats what i do a lot on my free time. i write and draw too! but im not confident in it yet. im considered tall in my country so a lot of professors recommend me to be a student athlete, but i h a t e sweating.. i like watching people play tho! (but i almost never cheer even if its my brother or a friend im shy ok iM SORRY) this was hella long :000 i apologize bsbsjsb and thank you in advance!!! ❤ 🍰

Hey! Thank you for your request! I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to. Hope you like it anyways!

I'd ship you with...

Kuroo Tetsurou!

• I'm gonna assume you are in the class same as Kuroo for this, hope that's okay.

• He was walking with Yaku having another debate about their preferences for girls when he suddenly pointed at you and said "like her!", which caused you to freeze. Kuroo also froze as he realised what he did. He then ran up to you to apologise and explained that he was arguing about preferences and he was saying that you looked attractive. He then awkwardly blushed and jogged off, apologising as he went back to Yaku and the team.

• Honestly you were really shocked about the situation. Like...what just happened? This boy suddenly just came up to you, said you were attractive then left.

• You then saw him and Kenma the next day and he stopped and stared at you for a moment, before going over to you looking slightly flustered. He then said in a slightly nervous voice, "Uhm, I'm sorry about what happened yesterday, but the truth is I have kind of noticed you for a while. You look really pretty and I kind of wanted to talk to you. I noticed as well that you tend to doodle in class and when I glanced over, I thought you drawings were super cute...a-anyways, we don't have volleyball practice after school today, so did you want to go to a café with me later? My treat."

• Kenma quietly judged Kuroo because of how creepy he was being but also because he knew exactly what he was doing.

• You agreed without thinking since the whole situation caught you off guard, and he happily thanked you and walked off, saying he'd come find you after school. Then after he left, you realised what you'd done.

• You waited for him outside the school and he finally caught up with you, but Kenma was also with him. He then took the two of you to a cat café because of course he did and Kenma, who read the mood and realised he was third wheeling, left the two of you alone to talk while he went to play with the cats.

• It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but after Kuroo settled down a little, he became super easy to talk to and was really good at keeping the conversation going, which helped you to relax as well. Before you knew it, the two of you started sharing memes and cackling at them together. You could feel Kenma's judgement from across the room.

• Kuroo asked if he could have your number and you agreed. You sent him a 3am meme hoping he wouldn't get mad, and the next morning he sent you a bunch of messages about how he was wheezing and he couldn't breathe because of how funny the memes were, so you decided to add him to your target list of sending memes. Eventually, Kuroo started to participate as well, sending you memes as well as people on his team. Some found it funny, but others Yaku and Kenma got mad at Kuroo, which only motivated him to do it more. He also started to occasionally send some to your friends as well.

• You were afraid to be more open with Kuroo because you didn't want him to think badly of you because of the less "boyish" things you liked. One day, though, he caught you looking at pictures of Sanrio plushies on your phone, which made you panic. But he just smiled and said, "I like those too," which was really shocking. You assumed he was just trying to be nice, but then he pulled out his keys, which had a Kuromi keychain attached.

• (Apparently, he and Kenma found out about the Sanrio characters when they went to an arcade as kids and they bought each other keychains. Kenma bought Kuromi for Kuroo and Kuroo bought Gudetama for Kenma. Kenma's keychain was attached to the case for his Animal Crossing Switch. He told you to keep this a secret since he knew Kenma would get embarrassed, but it eventually came up in conversation at one point and Kenma showed his keychain.)

• As you and Kuroo got closer, so did you and Kenma. He was really good at noticing when something was off and he'd listen to your concerns. You also realised that you had a lot of common interests and you felt comfortable sharing your hobbies with him and Kuroo. When Kuroo saw the two of you talking comfortably about Pokémon one time, he had a really sincere smile on his face because he was amazed at how well the two of you got along and how you glew when you talked passionately about your hobbies. He fell in love with you a little more.

• You realised one day that you weren't exactly sure what your relationship with Kuroo was. You were friends of course and you'd spend a lot of time together, but you wanted more, you were just afraid to say since you didn't want to ruin what you had. Kenma noticed you seemed to be deep in thought and you told your feelings to him, to which convinced you to confess to Kuroo, saying it would make him happy.

• You nervously said to Kuroo that you'd like to date, and he just kind of froze and then said in a cracked voice "s-sure!" He then apologised for the strange response and then confessed that he'd had feelings for you for a long time, he just didn't know how to tell you. He then kissed your hand and thanked you for confessing, then he ran off to get ready for practice.

• Kuroo seemed to be a little bit more on edge with you now you were dating. When you confronted him about it, he said he wasn't sure how comfortable you were with displays of affection and the reason he was on edge was because he wasn't sure whether he was okay to hold your hand, hug you, kiss you, etc. You let him know what your terms were and he relaxed a little knowing what his boundaries were.

• You were glad Kuroo was taller than you because you loved being able to bury yourself in his chest or shoulder whenever he hugged you. And despite his tough-looking exterior, he really loves cuddling and he's super good at it and showing his affection in soft ways.

• Kuroo really loves watching you draw and edit. He either quietly watches you do it or he sits off to the side and let's you get on with it, maybe looking at you every now and then and smiling at how pretty you look. Either way, he is fine with quietly hanging around when you work and he does his best not to disturb you, but also likes to encourage you to take breaks and cuddles you when you do so you can recharge.

• The first time you let your hair down in front of Kuroo he just...stopped? You got confused because you didn't know why he reacted like that, but he had to turn his head away and cover his face because of how much he was blushing. Even if you don't think highly of yourself, to him you are the most stunning, attractive person ever, both in terms of how you look and your personality.

• Kuroo really appreciate you supporting him during matches, even if you don't go crazy cheering for him. Just knowing you're there is enough for him to feel grateful.

• The club members love you as well. Not only are you Kuroo's weakness which they sometimes like to exploit for entertainment, you also get along with everyone super well. They were so shocked when they saw Kenma talking to you so naturally. They started inviting you out whenever they'd go out as a team since you were practically a part of it now.

• Kuroo is super good at showing how much he loves you, even just through little things. You also make him super happy just by being you. Arguing with Yaku that day was the best thing to ever happen to him.

I was gonna pair you with Yaku but I felt like I was only doing that since I've already done Kuroo as a matchup before, but honestly I think Kuroo is a super good match. Hope you enjoyed this!

Sorry this is so long btw, I am in Kenma and Kuroo loving hours, so this was fun to write! To be honest, I could have written more if I wanted to, but I didn't wanna drag this out too much.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu matchups #haikyuu x reader #kuroo testuro #kuroo x reader #nagichi matchups

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iwannawritepls · 5 years ago

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Le Morte d’Arthur Thoughts P4

I’m halfway through book 2 before I finished book one of Les

Book 2

Chapter 1

Whence last we left off

‘without villainy or treachery’ is kinda hard but ‘or treason’ is kinda easy. It’s been at least 3 weeks since I last committed treason

Man, if only there was a knight who was virtuous and kind and hadn’t commit treason. Ulfus can’t draw it! he helped in killing whatsis face Igrains old husband

Chapter 2

Meseemith

‘give me the sword’

‘no you gotta fight me for it’

‘a plague on both your houses’

That joke is not thematically appropriate for this time but I'm here now so :/

He travelled not only by his own super coolness but also magic OwO

Chapter 3

Wtf Vivian

Yeah I forgot the name of my sword aha

Its Excalibur you dumbass

Oh yeah, well whatever you want I’ll give it to you…if I can

I want the head of the lady with the sword and the dude who took the sword – they killed my brother and father

Balin: :o

This was like a four-way treachery

Chapter 4

Can we please kill the swamp monster?

Lanceor is not to be confused with Lancelot

She is the falsest damsel that liveth ooooof

I'm confused. (I should start a counter for this really – confusion counter: 7)

Political intrigue novel about Balin and that whole shenanigan

Chapter 5

Merlin says all this stuff after it happened, bitch what good will that do?

Pokémon battle commence!

He was dead…like a corpse. That metaphor usage 22/10 y’know. Just wow

Chapter 6

What in the hell just happened in here on this day?

Oml they’re going to castle terrible!

You know I think only terrible things have happened there so really if either one or both die its their own fault

Chapter 7

Its been like 3 days since I last read this, I'm sorry but confused counter 8

Wait are we talking like real dwarf!?!!?? I'm confused. 9

This guy doesn’t even know these bodies and he’s super distressed and he’s pulling his hair out like boo surely, you’ve seen a dead body before unless dwarf means kid? But then who’s letting a kid ride about on his own?

I'm thinking too much about this I know but also that’s kinda my job as a literature student [insert sparkles]

He’s got a curse squared rn

Balin curse count = 2

People to avoid list:

Hairless dwarves (possibly hairless children it is not clear),

the falsest damsel that liveth,

uncle joe from Charlie and the chocolate factory

this dwarf was really upset about this but now he’s kinda chill

the adventures of Sir Balan, Sir Balin and the Dwarf (that is possibly a child)

I blacked out now I have to read that again

King Mark has nothing better to do with his time, but I respect the man for making a tomb for these two people he didn’t even know

Its weird to know that’s what people did – no police just bury the body hope it doesn’t rise from the dead

Oh his wife has a name ‘Colombe’

Better love story than Romeo and Juliette (pls don’t come for my head)

Chapter 8

Oh thank god names I recognise – also one of them is Tristan and I was just talking about this dude with my friend (Hi Tyler)

Fighting on top of a grave is kinda disrespectful – also isn’t it a tomb? They’re going to be fighting on top of a tomb???

Merlin is a swamp man and he just defiled a grave! Why would you do that! This man has no respect – he can just die

Nah g he’s Lancelot of de lake bruv

‘What’s your name?’

‘Can’t tell you that. However, in a few years my friend – he’ll tell you and you’re going to get some very bad news’

Balin curse count = 3

Wait did he not only get cursed but get 3 whole kingdoms and another dude cursed? I feel bad for him at this point all he did was pull a sword from a shieth and what happened to the falsest damsel that liveth? She just doesn’t get any consequences???

Merlin left and then merlin left.

King Mark – the king who asks who you are and accepts non answers as the answer

Merlin is in disguise. He’s wearing these glasses.

They catch him out so fast.

‘what’s your name’

‘can’t tell you that - - but I know where you’re going.’

‘oh hi merlin’

This is so cursed.

Chapter 9

3 sentences dedicated to their horses. This is on par with the green knight’s whole “and he was green, his hair was green, his skin was green, his beard was green, his boots were green, his top was green, his trousers were green” so on and so forth (except his eyes – they were red)

What, are they going to kidnap a king? :[

3 sentences dedicated to their horses – 4 words dedicated to how they beat the king. Tommy boy I'm disappointed.

Why cant merlin just stop being a bitch? Like he half tells people and then stops. Either tell someone in full or just don’t tell them!

You’re telling me that Emperor Nero is the brother of this rando king that came along, that Balin and Balan beat up????????

Chapter 10

Castle terrible!!!!

What is this prophesy? Merlin just appears and says

We’re working out how many pop tarts a horse weighs (the process = ‘horses are fat!’ = 20.31 x 500 = 347 pop tarts)

Nero and all his people were killed – that’s another war crime oof

Wait so Arthur and Lot are working together now? royal families and international politics confuse me

Friends who smite together are friends who stay together

Arthurs sister married Lot and Arthur had sex with his sister who was married to Lot and Lot married Arthur sister – the one that had sex with him.

That’s basically what that paragraph was

Wait…Lot died???? Oof

Gawain killed Pellinore and was made a knight like that???? Oof

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