#wasn't sure whether to actually Tumblr post this one

[airas-story]

The Confabulation Complication

“It’s called confabulation,” Stephen said, not quite looking in Tony’s direction. It was… disconcerting. Confusing.

Tony hummed, trying not to let his frustration with the situation show. “Sounds like a party.”

Pepper let out a pained noise. “Tony.”

Tony winced a little, because Pepper had been crying almost since the moment he’d woken up. He didn’t like it when Pepper cried, but he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to fix this.

Especially when… when he wasn’t actually sure what was wrong.

“It is the creation of false memories,” Stephen continued, still not looking at Tony. “As compensation for the loss of real memories.”

Tony froze, because… because confused by the situation or not, he was smart enough to put together the pieces. He stared at Stephen for a long moment before glancing at Pepper.

Stephen looked painfully awkward, Pepper looked devastated. “So,” Tony started slowly, looking back at Stephen. “When I asked for my kiss and you looked like I was talking gibberish, it wasn’t because you were sticking to the ‘No making out while in the hospital’ rule and it’s because you and I… don’t kiss.”

“We are not together, no,” Stephen agreed. Was he… was he even Stephen? Did Tony… Did Tony actually know him at all? So many of his memories didn’t match what Stephen was telling him.

He looked away. “And Pepper?”

Pepper’s smile was tremulous. “We do kiss,” she said.

Everything felt surreal. “I… I thought…” He tried to search his memories, but he didn’t know what he was looking for. He remembered kissing her, but that was… a long time ago. “You broke up with me.” He knew that.

Didn’t he?

“We got back together,” Pepper explained. “Both times.”

Both times. He only remembered her breaking up with him once.

Tony… Tony didn’t know how to deal with any of this. “We’re together,” he said, trying to wrap his mind around it. He glanced at Stephen. “And we’re not.”

“Never have been,” Stephen said, he still wasn’t looking at Tony.

It… hurt.

Conceptually he knew it shouldn’t. Because he and Stephen… they weren’t a thing, apparently. But Tony was having a hard time making himself believe it. The memories were stark and visceral. Laughing with Stephen, kissing Stephen, curled together on the couch with Stephen doing their separate work.

“What are you even doing here, then?” Tony asked, feeling suddenly defensive. “You’re not still a practicing doctor, and I’m pretty sure there was no magic in that fight.” He wasn’t certain of that, because the memory of the fight was confused and messy. 

That was probably something he should let someone know. Especially since he was, apparently, having memory issues of a different kind. He kept his mouth shut.

Stephen sighed. “You told me you had trust issues and asked if I would be involved in any future medical emergencies so much as I could be. You said that as far as doctors went, I ‘wasn’t bad’.”

“I…” He swallowed, tried to make sense of everything, but he couldn’t. “I’m checking myself out,” he said.  They were in the compound—right? Was he actually sure about that?—it should be easy to get out of here.

He couldn’t deal with this.

“Tony, you should—“ Pepper started.

“Against medical advice if necessary,” Tony said. “I don’t want to be here.”

He wanted to be somewhere safe. Wanted to be in his lab where he could start trying to piece together the truth.

“Tony.” Stephen’s voice was gentle; Tony flinched. “There are tests that that the doctors should run.”

Instinct told Tony to give in, because this was Stephen. Tony always gave into Stephen when he used that sort of voice; Tony had made too many jokes about being weak for Stephen’s pretty eyes.

But apparently those memories didn’t actually mean anything, because they weren’t real. Tony had never made those jokes. It would be incredibly inappropriate to start now. He shook his head, ignoring the pulsing ache that came with the movement. “I’m not exactly dying right now. Any tests you take will only tell you things that you apparently already know. I want out.”

“We don’t know how bad the damage is,” Stephen said.

Tony ran a hand over his face. “Well, if I die from unexpected complications, you can both say ‘I told you so’, but frankly—“

“Tony.” Pepper sounded distressed. “Don’t say that.”

“I don’t want to be here,” Tony repeated. “I… I need to be alone. I need to figure this out.” He ignored both Pepper’s and Stephen’s protests as he got himself unattached from the hospital bed.

They gave in.

Mostly because Tony didn’t give them a choice.

Stephen eventually disappeared in a portal—Tony’s instincts said to go with him, but those instincts were wrong—while Tony fled from the compound med wing he’d been trapped in.

The lab was gapingly empty when he reached it. It was a relief in some ways, in other ways it felt wrong. His body ached—he didn’t even fully remember what had happened to get him into the hospital wing, the fight blurred, especially near the end—and his head hurt.

“FRIDAY?” he asked.

“Yes, Boss?” she asked, her voice was careful and tempered, as though she knew he was vulnerable.

“Is it true?” he asked. “The whole… confabulation thing Stephen was talking about?”

“Yes, Boss.”

Tony swallowed hard. “So, I’m not in love with Stephen.”

“You and Doctor Strange are friends, boss.”

Friends. Friends. Right.

“And me and Pepper?”

“The two of you are engaged.”

Engaged. Engaged. Tony was engaged. To Pepper. He didn’t remember that. He remembered her breaking up with him. He remembered her telling him that he was just… too much for her. That she just needed him to stop. That had happened, right?

Tony had never been able to stop. Had she changed her mind or was this just another attempt at something that was doomed to fail?

Or was the break up he remembered even true? Tony thought he knew why she had broken up with him. But what if that was a lie too?

He struggled to breathe for a moment.  Everything was messed up.

He wasn’t in love with the person he thought he was in love with; no, he was in love with someone he remembered moving on from.

He wasn’t in love with Stephen. That was just his brain lying to him.

He was in love with Pepper. 

Pepper, who he could only remember hearing say he wasn’t enough and was too much and… and that they weren’t right for each other. But he wasn’t sure if that was even true. She had agreed they’d broken up, but maybe he was remembering wrong the reasons why. Because he was engaged. So he couldn’t have been too much and not enough and not right for her.

Right?

Tony didn’t know.

Because he didn’t know which memories were real and which memories were false. 

He just knew that everything was wrong.

And now… now what was he supposed to do?

[emjaydoubleyou]

this post is fearmongering. the results of this study are concerning and should definitely be a matter of public discussion, but this is certainly not the conclusion the researchers came to.

the point of the study was to assess the risks of exposure to toxic metals- something one of the co-authors notes are “ubiquitous” fwiw- via menstrual products. Their research confirmed that these metals are indeed present in tampons, but no further conclusions are drawn. it is possible the metal entered into the cotton from the soil, which is a well-known phenomenon; cotton is so good at lifting heavy metals that it has actually been suggested as a part of the solution for revitalizing polluted ground.

the authors conclude with an acknowledgement that the study should be repeated- their sample size was 60 tampons- and a suggestion that further testing ought to be done to indicate whether or not these metals can even leech out of the tampon in the first place, let alone whether or not such leeching could occur at levels deleterious to human health.

there is, in fact, a body of research- too small, for sure, but much larger than this single study- indicating that long-term proper tampon use has no observable negative impact on health. i am grateful and thrilled that more research is being done and i hope that this study is the first of many on this line of questioning, but i am really frustrated at this post and the response it got.

obviously, if this study alters your approach to menstrual health, more power to you. consumers should be informed-risk-takers, and menstrual health is double-obviously a very personal choice. but it definitely wasn't the researchers concluding that you ought to “avoid using tampons at all cost," only this tumblr user did. the lead author of the paper, in fact, specifically says that she hopes people do NOT panic about the results.

(the notes of the post were disappointing. people affirming that they knew they were right to be suspicious of tampons all along, or even recommending alternatives that actually have very little to no research regarding the safety of long-term use, etc. it’s a different conversation, but categorical distrust of tampons is old-school misogyny. you certainly shouldn't wear them if you don’t want to, but there is nothing inherently scary or wrong about them, and people who prefer them are not being reckless or crass.)

((if you're really worried about exposure to heavy metals, you may want to turn a critical eye to fast fashion, as an aside))

[diamondcitydarlin]

Just fair warning- I said on my personal post about this that I wasn't going to talk about Neil Gaiman anymore, but as it's becoming clear that him and his publishers and anyone else who makes money off of him is circling the wagons and trying to bury these allegations, as well as some fans still defending and trying to 'rationalize' this information, I feel like, actually, we need to keep talking about him (as much as I cannot stand him and feel physically disgusted now when I so much as see his face somewhere). Specifically, the fact that he's a liar, master manipulator and should not, under any circumstances, be given access to his fans like he has in the past. At the very least. (And if you need to blacklist his name or even unfollow me so as to not be triggered, I completely understand, but I will always try to tag these posts accordingly and I think it's crucial right now that the truth be put where people can see)

This post specifically is in response to those 'rationalizations' I've seen, some that have gone as far as to blame the young fans/groupies that hooked up with him for being 'golddiggers' or just making a mountain out of a molehill for something they now regret. It's not that simple, yall. (And, again, this requires some amount of completely ignoring the story about him extorting his tenant for sex under threat of eviction of her and her three young children, I'm not sure how you 'rationalize' that under the best of circumstances)

So let's be clear here. What we know is that NG has routinely, for possibly an upwards of 30 years, pulled sexual 'partners' from his fan groups, most of whom are 18-22 year old young women (though possibly younger, accounts are coming forward of 16 year olds having allegedly been inappropriately touched/flirted/propositioned by him, which ig is the age of consent in the UK but still?? 16 year olds!!). This wasn't one or two times in the course of three decades, this was a constant pattern of behavior for him and for a very insidious reason.

This isn't to try to infantilize those fans or young women/young people in general or try to suggest that they couldn't have consented to sex with an older person or famous person. In fact, the onus isn't on them at all. This is about an older guy with a lot of fame, power and wealth choosing to sleep with people that he had already conditioned to idolize him and using that power imbalance to coerce them into doing things they didn't want to.

Regardless of one's age or gender identity, it can be difficult to impossible to say 'no' to someone like that. After all, you've been 'chosen' by the chosen one, you're special and not like everyone else, and if you don't do what the popular person everyone trusts is telling you to do you could end up ostracized. Alienated. Or worse. And you know what? Gaiman knew that! He knew it when he was crafting his 'approachable dad' persona on tumblr. He knew it when he was cultivating a fandom of personality. He knew it when he was having huge meetups to try to ensnare more victims. I hate to even think it, but I'm starting to believe he knew it when he was writing children's books too.

It's been talked about again and again in separate issues, but needless to say something not being strictly illegal does not make it inherently, morally okay. It does not erase the fact that this man has been essentially grooming his fandom to feel safe meeting/speaking with him so he can coerce those he can snare into sexual acts they're not comfortable with. That is predator behavior, whether strictly 'illegal' in the eyes of a court or not (but ofc I think he should be criminally punished even if I'm not naive enough to think he actually will be, because this IS rape and rape should be criminally punished)

I'm not personally advocating for anyone to give up being in his related fandoms, but what I am personally advocating for is that people don't forget who he is and what he's capable of, especially when he tries to crawl back to where he was (I'm almost certain he will eventually, as I've said).

Again, at the very least, we need to use what little influence we do have to keep him from infiltrating fan spaces again. He should not be on tumblr yukking it up with young people, he should not be at public appearances hitting on teenagers, he should not be given the unrestricted access to fans that he's 'enjoyed' for the past 30+ years because he is not a safe person. While I wish there was more in the way of restorative justice that could be done, I think at very, very least we should do what we can to limit his proximity to people he could hurt in the future. Make sure no one forgets, because sweeping this under the rug means Gaiman gets to hurt more people.

Lastly, no one is the wrong for having been manipulated by him. Let's make that very clear. What we're NOT gonna do is blame ourselves, each other, the victims, etc, for evil acts that Gaiman chose to do himself, time and time and time again. It doesn't help the situation and it certainly doesn't protect future potential victims. We were all duped because we're human and we attach and a lot of us want to believe there are good people out there, particularly those who make art that means so much to us.

And there are. But let's also use this a teaching/learning tool about how much faith we place in famous people in the future, regardless of how 'approachable' and 'safe' they might seem. Let's remember to have a healthy suspicion of creators/famous people that are oddly immersed in fandom spaces- yes, even the ones you still currently like that seem fine, as difficult as that may seem.

At the end of the day, we don't know them or what they're capable of doing or what they might be plotting to do to us. Support victims. Amplify their voices. Don't forget.

[cheolaholic]

ring of love; csc (07)

summary; agreeing to join vernon spectate an underground boxing match wasn't how you'd expect to spend your friday night. you also didn't expect to see seungcheol, someone you've lost contact with for years, become a part of the ring.

modern! au • boxer! au • hhu focused • multiple kinds of tropes • fluff, angst, smut

a/n;; im gonna be honest, i had no clue as to how im gonna write chapter 7 so i took a short break. that ended with me diving head first into love and deepspace which now has led me to a new obsession – Sylus. if you saw that post i made abt LNDS a few weeks ago, that has manifested into a side blog @chaeriescola where i’ll be posting my-non kpop related fics (read: Sylus & Zayne brainrot) also, i’m on Patreon now !! if you join my Patreon, you’ll get early access to the fics (a week early before they get posted on tumblr & ao3), exclusive bonus content, sneak peeks of other projects etc. if you’d like these special treats, feel free to join 👀 enough of me yapping, onto the fic~

Seungcheol wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting when he tasked Mingyu and Vernon to look after you – considering how they both absolutely suck at understanding the whole “look after ___ for me but, don’t let her catch you” concept. He’s seen them tail behind you, possibly raising concerns in some students and staff whether they were stalking you from the moment they spotted you.

coups: can’t you two be more discreet? coups: you both look like you’re the worst stalkers gameboi: ? tallgyu: I think we’re doing a good job alien-non: yea, she hasn’t noticed us gameboi: you really got Mingyu and Hansol to tail after ___? gameboi: no offense to all 3 of you gameboi: but Hansol’s logic is practically gone if Mingyu’s leading tallgyu: HEY alien-non: I suggested we wear disguises but Mingyu didn’t want to! tallgyu: those weirdly shaped sunglasses are way too obvious coups: what you’re doing now is way more obvious! tallgyu: she hasn’t noticed us tallgyu: it’s fine hyung coups: Vernon alien-non: yes coups: you know how aware ___ is of her surroundings coups: she’s probably already spotted you both gameboi: but chose not to say anything

As if on cue, when they both turned a corner, they were both startled to come face-to-face with you, arms crossed, staring right at them.

“You’ve both been following me for the past hours, can I help you?” you ask, eyes narrowing when they both exchange a look.

“Well…” Mingyu started, “We… We just wanted to make sure you didn’t get lost…?”

Vernon mentally facepalms at Mingyu’s response while you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, “To make sure I wouldn’t get lost…? On a campus I’ve been attending for at least 2 years…?”

“Seungcheol hyung wanted us to look after you,” Vernon confesses, “I don’t know why, but he just told us to keep an eye on you.”

“And, so, you’ve decided to follow me around?”

“Mingyu was the one who suggested it…”

“You both would make terrible secret agents…” Seungcheol mumbled as he came up behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he sent glares to the two younger males. “Cheol, I’m a big girl now – I can handle myself!”

“I know, I know,” he admits, “And, I’m sorry, pup-”

“Pup? You call her ‘pup’?” Your ears burned red at Mingyu’s question, forgetting that not everyone grew up with you and Seungcheol or knowing the reason that he calls you that.

“It’s a nickname I gave her while we were growing up,” Seungcheol answers, “And, it stuck with her since.”

“She grew up with you? Oh, you poor thing,” Mingyu faked cries as he pulls you into an embrace, “He must’ve picked on you non-stop.”

“Actually, he didn’t pick on me.” The taller male pulls away, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion at your answer. “He stood for me and may or may not have threatened the people that did pick on me.” He looks at Seungcheol with a look of betrayal, “That’s not fair! Why does she get special treatment while you keep picking on me!?”

Seungcheol pries Mingyu away from you, his arm returning to its position on your waist as he answers, “Because you’re Mingyu, and she’s… she’s ___.”

‘Well… this is… awkward…’ you thought to yourself as you sat in front of Wonwoo, one of the other boys you had briefly met that night. Seungcheol suggested you meet the three of them altogether, mainly Mingyu and Wonwoo since you were already best friends with Vernon, to somewhat break the ice.

‘Choi Seungcheol, you ass, this is anything but breaking the ice! If anything, this is increasing the freezing point of the ice!’

Unfortunately, Seungcheol’s plan of grabbing lunch together is now facing a setback. You had no classes that day, Wonwoo finished his, but Seungcheol, Mingyu and Vernon were being held back for their classes.

“Seungcheol, I’ve only met him once!” you whisper-shouted into your phone, “And, neither of us exchanged a single conversation since!”

“I know, I know,” Seungcheol answers, wracking his head to come up with solutions, “But, this lecturer is talking so slow that I have no choice!”

“What about Vernon and Mingyu?”

A sigh was heard, “Apparently, the model was being fussy about how she should be posing for their portrait. The lecturer needed her to be partially clothed, but since Mingyu was in the class… You can fill in the blanks…”

You let out a sigh, looking into the windows of the cafe as Wonwoo sits at a booth near the pick-up counter, “How much longer until you all are able to get here?”

“Probably an hour… And another 20 minutes to get there. Hey, you and Wonwoo both like drinking coffee and are introverts! Maybe you both can try talking to break the ice.”

Oh, boy, did Seungcheol underestimate the introversion you and Wonwoo possess. You had initially tried to have small talk with him, only to chicken out when he looked at you with that piercing gaze through his glasses. It’s been half an hour since you sat down at the booth with him, your strawberry milkshake sitting on a coaster as he goes to order possibly his third cup of cappuccino.

When he returns with his drink, you can’t help but ask, “Isn’t that… too much caffeine…?”

Wonwoo seemed a bit taken back when you finally opened your mouth to talk, but he recovers quickly and shrugs, “Honestly, after drinking caffeine for years, you kind of grow immune to it. You should’ve seen Mingyu’s reaction when he found me sleeping after downing 5 cans of Monster.”

“Five!?”

“Yes, five.”

“And, you were still able to sleep?”

“Like a baby.”

Wonwoo was surprisingly easy to talk to – you just needed to get over your social anxiety and the very intimidating resting bitch face he has. You’ve come to learn that the man in front of you was GAM3BO1WOO, a famous game streamer on SVTwitch. You’ve seen a few of his stream clips on your feed, but you weren’t exactly a fan of his since his taste in games and yours were vastly different.

“Do you play every new game release?” you asked, scrolling through his MAESTRO account and skimming through his posts.

“It depends, actually. If a new game really catches my eye, then I’ll download it. Other than that, either the companies sponsored me to stream their games, my followers keep requesting that I play the game they think would suit me or want to see me play. Sometimes, Mingyu and Cheol would gift me co-op games since a lot of them have the mechanic of if one player already owns the game, the second player plays for free.”

“Have you ever hopped on trends?”

“It drives traffic and increases my followers, can’t really complain.”

You’re not sure how long you’ve been conversing with Wonwoo. But, it was definitely long enough for neither of you to notice the three men standing right outside the window, watching you two fondly and surprised. “They’re… talking…” Mingyu says in awe, a chuckle from Seungcheol following afterwards, “Nice to know two of our introverts are getting along just fine.”

You noticed them from the corner of your eyes, turning to the window, Wonwoo following to look at them. You smiled, giving them a small wave which they returned while the latter gave a small nod of his head.

“Sorry for keeping the two of you waiting,” Seungcheol apologised the second he got to the booth, taking a seat next to you. Mingyu and Vernon took their seats next to Wonwoo after placing their orders at the counter. “Aren’t you going to get anything?” you asked the older male, looking up at him as you took a sip from your milkshake.

“I’m assuming you’re waiting for me so you can order some kind of snack which we either share or I finish the remaining you can’t.” When you don’t answer and avert his gaze, Seungcheol knows he caught you red-handed. He chuckles as he gets out of the booth and towards the counter, which unfortunately for you, leads to an interrogation by the other three boys – technically, it was mainly Mingyu with the occasional questioning from Vernon. Wonwoo just sits quietly, listening in as his eyes would dart between you, your two ‘interrogators’ and Seungcheol who was still lining up.

The two men asked you the questions you’d expect.

“How old were you when you met Seungcheol hyung?”

“I think… I think I was 5? He should be about 7 or 8?”

“What did he look like back then? Did he look like a nerd?”

“Well, he had the signature bowl kid every boy got when they were kids or teens.”

“Was he scary?”

“Kind of? Not a lot of people messed with me because of how protective he was over me.”

“Mess with little red riding hood, the big bad wolf will come and get you.”

All attention was on Seungcheol as he placed a plate of strawberry cake and a plate of a dozen brownies on the table, returning to his seat right next to you. Noticing the stunned expressions from his peers, he shrugs, “That was what they’d always say to anyone trying to approach her with ill intentions. It’s basically their way of saying ‘if you don’t want trouble, don’t go looking for trouble’.”

An easier way to put it was – if you don’t want to deal with an angry Seungcheol, don’t bother his girl. Your heart still flutters at how some people referred to you as ‘his girl’, but you knew that actually being his girl was nothing more than a dream to you. “By the way hyung, when’s your next fight? Maybe ___ could come and help out, y’know?” Vernon asks, reaching out to grab a brownie only for his hand to be lightly slapped by Seungcheol. “Ow! What was that for!?”

“If you want them, go get them yourselves,” the older male answers, pushing the plate of brownies towards you. “These are for ___. If you want one, go get one yourself.” Your face heats up at the gesture, and heats up further when the three males turn to you. “Why does she get special treatment?” Mingyu whines, “And how can she possibly finish that entire plate?”

Seungcheol pats your head as he answers, “Because she’s ___. And, yes, she can. If she can’t, I’ll finish it.”

“Can we have a piece if you’re the one finishing it up?”

“No, get your own.”

“Ah, hyung!”

You’ve managed to bond with Wonwoo and Mingyu, becoming close with them in a matter of days and now, you’ve got four ‘bodyguards’ walking around with you (Mingyu refers to them as that, the others and you just play along). The downside that comes with the friendship would be a flock of envious fangirls (and occasionally fanboys) who had begun to buzz around you like moths attracted to light.

“How did you become friends with Wonwoo? Could you ask him to shout me out on his streams or MAESTRO account?”

“Is Mingyu single? Could you introduce me to him?”

“Would you like to be friends? I’d love to be friends with the boys!”

Both boys could see you were tired of the clout chasers, especially Wonwoo since he knows you value your personal space. Both men had taken the issue to their social media, expressing how they’d appreciate it if their ‘fans’ stopped bugging their friends and loved ones in an attempt to get close with them. You remembered when both of them addressed the issue on Wonwoo’s stream, the sternness in both their voices still sent shivers down your spine.

“We understand that you may think you know us as we both are content creators and certain information has been released about us online. While we may not be able to put an end to the parasocial relationship that you have built with us, we do not know you and you do not know us. Do not harass our friends and loved ones, and if your unhealthy obsession of us persists, please seek help.”

That was enough for a majority of the fanboys/fangirls to back off. Some still linger, but they were no longer up close and in your face bombarding you with questions or requests.

Currently, Wonwoo, Mingyu and Vernon sat in a discussion room within the library as they waited for Seungcheol and you. It was a small meet-up, but it could also be treated as a short co-working/co-studying meet-up. Your class was ending later than usual and Seungcheol offered to wait for you so both of you could walk to the library.

Beauty and the Beasts

mingoo: @princess how much longer is the lecture gonna take?

princess: erm… another 15 mins?

princess: …

princess: who set my nickname as princess in the gc?

All four boys replied altogether and you playfully rolled your eyes.

mingoo: coups hyung

vernonnie: cheol hyung

nonu: seungcheol

cheol: i did

cheol: i got you your coffee order btw

mingoo: what about us?

cheol: you lot already got your orders before you headed to the library

mingoo: i’m assuming you got her snacks too

cheol: yes

cheol: and they’re only for ___

cheol: so don’t try to steal them

Mingyu lets out a groan as he lays his upper body on the table. “It’s not fair,” he whines, “Why does Seungcheol hyung give ___ special treatment? Is it because she’s a girl?” Vernon shrugs, “Maybe? But, he’s treated his exes the same way, too.”

“Yeah, I know that, Vernon. But, isn’t there something different?”

Mingyu sits up as he looks at Vernon, his words seeming to be hinting at something as the younger male sits in silence. “It’s like he’s more attentive, more caring. Like, he was caring before to the other girls, but there’s this extra layer to it, y’know?”

“He means there’s more than meets the eye,” Wonwoo says, “I think what Mingyu’s trying to say is that Seungcheol is whipped for ___.”

“Yes!” Mingyu exclaims, pointing at Wonwoo with a puppy-like grin on his face, “But, also no? I don’t know! They grew up together so maybe it’s like a habit he has or a sense of responsibility he feels?”

“But, who would want to call their childhood best friend who is now an adult ‘pup’?” Vernon questions, and Wonwoo tips his pencil in the younger male’s direction, “Precisely. Everyone would grow out of it, much less a nickname like that. Hell, would you call any of your friends that kind of name as an adult?”

Mingyu hums in understanding. All three of them knew just how shameless Seungcheol could be sometimes. Vernon bites back a gag when he recalls accidentally witnessing Seungcheol and his then girlfriend making out in his car, in the campus’ parking lot - in broad daylight. He pitied his therapist who had to listen to him ramble on and on about suspecting the older male having an exhibitionist kink.

“So, you really think he’s whipped for her?”

“Seungcheol barely remembers your favourite cake, but he remembers ___’s coffee order.”

“He probably has it written down somewhere?”

“I beg to differ,” Vernon speaks up.

He joined Seungcheol to get coffee a few weeks ago. While Seungcheol was ordering his, you had texted Vernon saying your Business Module class had completely drained you and you were in need of a quick pick me up. All he did was say, “___ wants us to help get her coffee,” and Seungcheol began reciting your order to the barista without a second thought.

“He knew it like the back of his hand! Not a single thing was missed out!”

As Mingyu and Vernon continue to discuss Seungcheol's love life, Wonwoo glances down at his phone as it vibrates, a notification from you. Opening up the text app on his laptop, he types out his reply.

___: hey woo?

___: is it ok if i call you that-

wonwoo: yes?

wonwoo: n yes, perfectly fine

___: ok

___: um, so the class im in rn, we’re almost done btw!

___: they need me to write some kind of paper abt how psychology n business work

___: n since you’re a psych major

wonwoo: you need my help, yes?

___: bingo

___: is it possible for you to help me?

wonwoo: sure thing

wonwoo: why don’t you go over the details with me once you’re out of class?

wonwoo: we’ve booked the discussion room for the entire day

___: don’t the others have class?

Wonwoo can feel Mingyu and Vernon standing behind him as they “observe” his conversation with you. “Oooh, you’re texting his girl~” Mingyu teases, earning a glare from the older male that shuts him up immediately. “She needs help with her coursework and I have relevant information that can help her,” he replies as he resumes to type out his reply.

wonwoo: seungcheol only has one class today iirc

wonwoo: gyu and vernon have some kind of workshop in an hour

___: oh, cool!

___: then i can also get cheollie’s opinion

“Do you think they have a thing for each other?” Vernon asks, seemingly picking up on certain signs just from the text Wonwoo had just exchanged with you.

“Who? Seungcheol hyung and ___?” Mingyu asks back and he nods. The taller male thinks for a while, recalling the times that he’s seen any form of interaction or exchanged conversation the pair have shared. “Maybe? But, there weren’t any obvious signs that explicitly showed that Seungcheol or ___ like the other.”

“Well, there is a saying that love is in plain sight. Or that whole “you were hiding in plain sight” trend that was going around CIRCLES a few months ago.”

“Should we play cupid?”

“I think it’d be best if we don’t interfere with their love life.”

Wonwoo had a point. While their curiosity was gnawing away, the last thing they’d wanna do is accidentally driving a wedge between you and Seungcheol. It would be worse if they were reading the room wrong and neither of you were harbouring any feelings for the other. “But, that doesn’t mean we can’t find some clues to answer our hypothesis.”

Mingyu and Vernon looked at the older male who was still typing on his laptop. “Are we conducting experiments on them now?”

“I wouldn’t put it that way. I’d say it’s more of observing their interactions with each other.”

“We’ll leave the psychology part to the psych major.”

“If this ends up being your thesis paper, Woo, we’d better be given credits.”

Later that night…

gyu created the group Operation Cupid 💘

taglist (unable to tag a few ㅠㅠ)

@yoonclip @1004luvangel @catjunhui @mystikha @spk93 @tinkerbell460 @yoozuku @dnylwooo @christinewithluv @limbomoon @plutoxxxworld @i-give-up-1234 @m1ngyuc0re @yunloyal @leclercloverbot @bettybeako @billboard-singer @ocyeanicc @krupyadoorrahe @seobinnieshi @xcynthiaaa @k411z @disneyprincesshuri @sunnyapp @khxsh @staygenezy @loufi8iepuff @ursweetner @noisypapergalaxy @wonwootakemyheart @sugainpinksweater @leah-rose03 @thisisnothelastofus @yearnoclock @kwonhoeshi @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @ru-lin @deobiforever @belladaises @cheoliekkuma @duskunt1ldawn @hyneyedfiz @marshmallowshouse @ak6ko @chwevernonlover @jejuboo-s @tsukinluv @atinytinaa @gyros-cum-sock @soupbinlily @jungwoos-luvr @ener-energy @watermelon-sugars-things @cyberpunkhwx @ddaengpotate @nightwingsrobbinhoods @chaerrylov3r @joshuaahong @wonussmile @uliceeeeeeee @wonwoo24 @shinetogether17 @simplejihoon @luvkpopp @shingbangyes @black-swan-blog27 @minhui896

[lexirosewrites]

This is for Slick Sunday!!!

So. I was watching this voice over of some random Tumblr post about how Vampires are to carpenters what furries are for artists(allegedly), bc they can make the ideal coffin for each individual and things like that, and like??? I got inspired. So this is what I have:

Totally established ABO situation, where Steve is an unusual Omega, simply for the fact that after his family disowned him he became a carpenter and if being a jock had given him some muscles, being a carpenter made him ripped.

But no one wants an Omega like that, no matter how sweet he is whether in scent or personality, it also doesn't help that Steve has a shit taste in Alphas.

Anyways, enter Eddie, a Vampire (whether he has a designation and/or what it is up in the air (although I prefer him as an Alpha)) who's looking for a new coffin for his Uncle Wayne, an incredibly old vampire (probably a beta) who met him when he was young and adopted Eddie before turning him at the age of 25 (Eddie was dying, and there wasn't a cure for him yet, but that was Wayne's kid, he couldn't let him die so young), because his Uncle's coffin is like, old, Eddie asked and the thing is a certified antique, it's at least a 100 years old and almost falling apart no matter how much care Wayne puts into it.

So Eddie finds out about this carpenter, the guy has never worked for vampires before, but Robin (a local witch and another Omega) recommended him so strongly Eddie agreed to check him out.

Eddie gets immediately infatuated with Steve, the guy is handsome, with a sweet personality, and a body Eddie just wants to sink his teeth into...

So they get talking about the request, and it ends up being a long collaboration, since Eddie didn't actually go prepared for the appointment, so he keeps visiting Steve to make adjustments to the coffin's design and stuff like that.

And if he also uses that time to get to know Steve better and maybe flirt a little? It's nobody's business.

(and maybe Steve also answers sometimes, with

So anyways, Steve finishes the task and is sad he won't see Eddie again, won't get to bask into his amazingly comforting scent again, thinking that the guy probably will leave him behind like so many other commissioners before him who came by, sweet talked him, that even got him into bed one time, and then left once their product was finished, only to never return.

So When Eddie comes to pick up the finished coffin he finds an incredibly sad Omega , and of course he immediately asks what's wrong, does Steve feel bad, should he call Robin? But Steve is so overwhelmed by this simple show of care that he confesses on the spot.

And Eddie is obviously overjoyed by this, corresponding to Steve in that exact moment, zero doubts in his mind that he'll be with Steve for as long as Steve wants him.

Plus: Steve finds out a week into dating that Eddie is a vampire and is very offended that his boyfriend (soon to be mate) tried to hide something so important from him, meanwhile Eddie is like "Babe. Baby. Sweetheart. I literally asked for a bed coffin, I told you my uncle was more than a hundred years old, I once got into your workshop fully bloodstained, fangs out, because I was running late and my last feeding was rough"

"I thought that was paint from those minis you told me you were working on!"

And then they recreate the twilight meme for the funsies.

(and maybe a long time from now they'll be mates, and Steve will turn into a vampire after being Eddie's part-time bloodbag for years, and they'll have a coven full of kids, some theirs, some adopted, but all of them wholly loved and cherished)

And that's all I have in me rn, I really hope you enjoy Lexi, happy day!

(also, fun fact, halfway through writing this I got so distracted by the romance that I forgot about the ABO part of things, and then I tried to revise it, but I'm not sure I did a good job, this could probably be way more abo than it is, lmaoo)

hehe monsterfucker steve is very dear to me, especially when he’s an omega and willing to submit to an alpha as their prey in more way than one��

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake | Messages you didn't notice #6 | Sunbae Theory

I wanted to add this to my previous post about other messages and their translation and theories (here) but it was becoming too long, so I'm posting it separetely.

Guys, I kept thinking about the fact that we never got to learn more about the meaning of these "random" messages. And then I realized I was overthinking it too much.

ALL THESE MESSAGES WERE ACTUALLY FROM MYUNGHA'S SUNBAE WHO MISSED HIM IN REAL LIFE!!!

In the final episode there's a moment when the last message shows up, and the author is finally written.

"I hope that place sparks your hope. From sunbae."

After we learn Myungha's full backstory, we now know "that place" means "afterlife". And if you look back on all the messages it MAKES SENSE, if you think that these are messages that are still coming on Myungha's phone from a friend – or, if we consider that everything is happening in Myungha's head, these are the thoughts about him by someone else.

Sunbae missed Myungha who was suddenly gone from life.

[In May, there is Children's Day, Parents' Day, there is even Teacher's Day but there is no Day when I can meet you] [I was passing by and saw a bracelet that you used to wear long time ago. It reminded me of you. I wonder if you still wear that bracelet.] [I broke a vase that was a gift from you. Can it be repaired?] [I thought only you dressed like that but others do too. I knew it wasn't you but I still followed. But why would you be dressed like that] (last sent messages) [I miss you. If only I could go there…] [Everything depends on what you'll do. Get yourself together.] [I hope that place sparks your hope. From sunbae.]

Tell me if these messages don't look like they were written by someone mourning the loss of a dear person. Someone who might be still sending messages to the number that will never reply anymore (and Myungha never did!). A chat that has become a diary of memories and longing, filled with a ghost of someone whose specific details you keep noticing in your everyday life. There is no Day when they can meet anymore. If only he could see him again...

I'm not sure about the vase but Myungha wore a bracelet in the beginning of the story (that was the first detail we notice about him tbh when he looks through the novel draft in the very first scene).

Someone else on Tumblr has expressed a theory that sunbae is a friend (or someone who loved Myungha) who decided to commemorate his friend in a written novel because they wanted to give him a happy life instead of a miserable one Myungha lived in real life.

I am so on board with this theory, (even though I like the grim reaper/deity theory or Myungha creating the world for himself), I think sunbae did exist in real life. And he obviously cared about Myungha, whether his love was to teach him a harsh lesson or to commemorate him in a meaningful story. After all, isn't this what all authors do to their characters? They make them go through conflicts and breaking points in order to overcome it all and finally find a happy ending.

Maybe sunbae has regretted that Myungha was never able to accept the love that others wanted to give him so he wrote the story to change that. Maybe sunbae is actually Yeowoon who wanted to put Myungha in his shoes and teach him how to love and be loved – actually, remember young Yeowoon, who lost Myungha due to his decision to erase himself from the game, who cried and picked up a pen to bring him back, starting a mission to make Myungha happy.

Maybe this novel is a desperate attempt to make peace and hope that someone you lost could be still loved at last.

No matter what, Sunbae was surely grieving Myungha.

[akutasoda]

please, can I request for angst no comfort (if you’re uncomfortable doing that it’s alright!) with Dan Heng? I think being on tumblr changed me? I crave so much angst now😞

or! If youre not in the mood, may I suggest fluff with Seth (ZZZ) or Heizou (GI) I BARELY see any Seth fics, only two on here, my bbg need more love than this! 🥺

thank you, I love your works!

-anon🧅

nightmares that bleed into reality

synopsis - his nightmares were frequent but now they seemed to hurt more than just him.

includes - dan heng

warnings - gn!reader, slight fluff, angst no comfort, arguments, wc - 575

a/n: as mentioned before, i wrote the seth one and posted it separately prior!!

it had been a more peaceful day on the express.

eventually, the tranquil day bled into the serenity of night that befell the train. everyone had resigned to their respective rooms which included you and dan heng. most days you would retire in your actual designated room, but occasionally you would join dan heng in his.

well, it was the data bank and so you only really started joining him when he fulfilled his promise of getting something a little more comfortable as a bed. you weren't asking much, just something more than pillows and blankets strewn across the hard floor, which was mainly solved by a roll mat or something similar.

simple conversations soon turned into hushed whispers as to avoid waking any other passengers - not that it was easy to. it wasn't too long until you both ended up lying side by side, legs entangled, and slowly drifting off into serene slumber. the express finally became cloaked in an entire veil of silence.

one that didn't last long. everyone was asleep. and yet, dan heng started tossing and turning. his mind was being tormented by violent visions. memories that didn't belong to him flashed through his mind, holding so much pain and suffering that it caused unease to settle in his mind.

you both knew it wasn't unusual for dan heng to have nightmares. they were the main reason that he didn't want to start sharing a room with you. dan heng feared that if he woke up, he'd wake you up and burden you with his problems - it was a common fact that dan heng didn't get much sleep because of them, he didn't want it rubbing off on you.

at first, it wasn't an issue. sure he did wake you up occasionally but it didn't take you long before you found says to help him calm down. dan heng actually found his nightmares more manageable with you around. whether that was because you helped him ground himself or simply because of your presence.

but tonight was worse.

he went through his usual tossing and turning before shooting up in a cold sweat. immediately you were woken up and it only took you a few seconds to realise he'd been shaken up by another nightmare.

you called out his name gently, sleep still heavily laced in your voice. unfortunately, dan heng was still caught up in what transpired in his nightmares. he couldn't recognise that you were beside him, that he was in the data bank. no. he thought he was in danger, and that you weren't who you were.

so he snapped. dan heng scrambled to push you away and pointed his spesr at you. you froze in pure terror.

it was only when his sleep muddled brain started clearing that he recognised you. the pure fear in your face that made his heart ache. dan heng was ashamed of himself. he shakily dropped his spesr and shakily moved away, what if he hurt you? what if he did something worse?

you couldn't even get a word out before he was asking, begging, you to leave.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[msallurea]

It's Okay to Feel Okay

Ok so recently, specifically a few days ago I had deleted tumblr for a bit to get my mind together. I had wanted to manifest my dream life because I'll be taking senior pics on the 31st and honestly I was fed up with myself with not genuinely applying knowing that I wanted to live a certain way. There was a post that I had seen I can't remember the name right now but I did reblog it, it was "how to make everything sugar spice and everything nice" or something like that. One particular post caught my attention and it the "what if I don't persist" post and it DEFINITELY gave me a reality check, I feel like those who know pretty much everything there is to know about manifestation but aren't genuinely applying it should for sure read that because it definitely knocked sense into me. I had also been reading a lot of posts from @etherealkissed88 also i highly recommended reading her stuff if you ever want a rundown of the law that's quick and straight to the point. Something I noticed I continuously did which is what caused me to always have anxiety when manifesting was focusing on the 3d/my desire being in the 3d on time. So I decided to actually change my perspective and just tell myself since it's done in the 4d I don't have to worry about it not being in the 3d because itll reflect anyway..I've also been adopting the mindset of simply knowing it's finished IN IMAGINATION ONLY!! ...Now, since doing this, for maybe the past few days I haven't felt the need to affirm or visualize or anything, I mean I'd daydream here and there but it's kinda just like "eh I have it anyway so whatever" and let me tell you..as someone who constantly stressed on whether or not I was doing something right and worrying about when it will come and everything else this is the CALMEST and most NONCHALANT I've ever been about manifestation before. Like even now, when I would've tried sabatoging myself saying I HAVE to affirm especially because I do know I am a bit anxious about manifesting my dream life because I definitely want it before my big day which btw I feel like is perfectly fine to acknowledge. But honestly I just don't want to. I don't want to affirm. I don't want to visualize constantly. Because the entire point is that if I say it's already done in imagination and I see that I'm living my dream life in imagination truly there's nothing else for me to do but continuously choose that I'm living my dream life already. Something else that's had me feeling this way is when @etherealkissed88 mentioned that we aren't trying to convince ourselves we have it in the 3d..to be that way is being delusional, we're only accepting that it's already done in IMAGINATION aka the 4d. Since taking this into consideration I've been scarily calm,normally I would've been stressed and spiraling and even now when I "waver" when I see myself in the mirror it's just like a "eh whatever..nothing I do in the 3d affects my manifestation anyway so it doesn't matter" kind of feeling. And I just want anyone who is also experiencing this feeling where you feel as though you just don't want to do anything for your desire and it's just like a "eh whatever I have it in imagination anyway" kind of feeling IT. IS. OK and you are doing just fine. The whole point is the first place is making your desire feel NATURAL to you and if you feeling natural is you not really feeling anything and it's just a "oh it's done" then you are doing just fine if you have the feeling as if you "don't want your desire anymore" that's also fine, I can guarantee if your desire was fulfilled would you still feel like you wanted it or be stressed? I doubt it..just as the example is, I have a phone, I know I have a phone. Even if my phone wasn't in my hand right now I still know I have a phone. That is the feeling, that is the acceptance. Even if it isn't right there in front of you, you already have it because you accepted that you do.

[earthtooz]

hello!! still new to tumblr so I have to idea how long ago that post was but I saw your requests were open!! can you please please please please pretty please do something do something fluffy with rin from blue lock??? i need to cure my craving for this man and your fics are like a pond of water in the middle of the desert 🙏

say no more fam, i gotchu. and thank you anon 😫😫 you are so kind to me for praise i do not deserve, but ask and i shall deliver!

cw: fluff! food, swearing, bad writing, unrealistic scenario but like fuck that give me the fluff.

"the hell are you doing in my kitchen?"

itoshi rin turns around rather nonchalantly, seemingly unalarmed by the fact that you caught him in your kitchen, in your apartment, a place he wasn't supposed to be.

"i'm baking something," he replies simply, not even blinking once at your dumbfounded expression.

upon entering your house, you were ready for a relaxing thursday night so you could prepare to repeat the same day again. what you weren't ready for was the sight of foreign slacks- that clearly weren't yours, at the getabako by the genkan, and you see that your household slippers had also disappeared from their usual spot.

then you hear noises from the kitchen.

a little alarmed, you don't know whether to call the police or not, then, before your concerns could be answered, you see itoshi rin's familiar face peak out from the kitchen.

what the fuck. why was he wearing your slippers?

"oh, welcome home y/n," he says very casually before disappearing again.

what the fuck?

now that you've returned to your senses just a little and finally registered the intruder-slash-athlete in your kitchen, you walk up to stand beside him, peering down at his work.

"what are you making?" you ask.

"jam sugar cookies."

"that sounds good."

he's already formed a dough at this point, kneading it on a floured surface with quite a bit of skill.

noting his talent in the craft of baking, you can't help but wonder why he decided to do it in your kitchen.

"y'know when i gave you my spare key, it was for emergency purposes and because i trust you not to do dumb shit, unlike everyone else on the team," you point out with a sigh.

the dark-haired only shrugs, now breaking the dough into smaller balls.

"why my kitchen?"

"i don't know, i wanted to spend time with you. i thought you would be back from work since practice ended ages ago."

you ignore the butterflies in your stomach. "couldn't have done that over coffee? and i was working overtime today."

once again, he doesn't answer. itoshi rin is a great conversationalist, what a riveting exchange you're having right now.

you don't see the way his face flushes from his shyness, embarrassed to be caught in this situation.

"can i at least help?"

"sure," agrees rin, moving away. "break the dough into 12 even sized pieces."

you oblige as he goes over to wash his hands, swiftly cleaning up the mess around you whilst you work in silence, pretending like your heart wasn't racing because the itoshi rin was in your apartment with you, alone. the effect a man could have on you was unnerving.

"i think i'm done," you finally announce and the soccer player looks over your shoulder with a satisfied hum, a noise that you can feel in your upper spine. why was he standing so close? you can practically feel him hovering behind you.

"i can take over from here," he says.

"you sure?"

"yeah- actually, i made a pot of fresh strawberry jam on the stove, can you bring it here?"

he made jam? is there another man more perfect than him?

listening to his instructions, you carefully set the now-cooled pot on the marble counter. "i didn't strike you as a baker," you mutter, going over to the sink to wash your hands.

"it's fun. i like it."

"you like sweets?"

"i don't mind them. my favourite are ones that aren't too sweet, but i indulge in sugary ones too."

you hum in acknowledgement, watching him for a few moments longer before the urge to change into more comfortable clothes appears again like an itch you can't scratch. "you sure you don't need my help? i need to go take a shower."

"go."

"wow, okay. i know where i'm not needed."

he doesn't say anything in response, not that you were expecting him to when you made your way out of the kitchen.

twenty minutes and a refreshing shower later, you emerge feeling a lot cleaner and rejuvenated. rin was still in the kitchen, now on his phone as he leans against the counter, waiting for the cookies to bake. when he notices you, he puts his device away and greets you properly.

"would you like to stay for dinner?" you ask, ignoring the way his eyes dip to your exposed collarbones and how the water from your shower drips down them.

if you paid too much attention to it you might explode.

"it won't be a bother right?" he asks, meeting your gaze once more. when you shake your head, he agrees. "then what's for dinner?"

"i was planning on katsu curry, that okay?"

"more than."

thank goodness you bought fresh vegetables yesterday. "how are the cookies?"

"good. they're almost done."

"can i try some after?"

"no."

the audacity. he uses your kitchen and won't spare you any? what ever happened to taxes?

whilst you're cutting the potatoes and carrots, the oven timer calls out to let you know that the cookies are finished. rin swiftly takes them out, hums in approval and lets the batch chill.

you ask him if he can prepare the rice and other ingredients whilst you prepare the pot and the sauce. it's a perfect dance of teamwork, and despite your kitchen being not the biggest, you and rin work perfectly together. sometimes in silence, sometimes speaking about mundane things that don't truly matter.

the domesticity of it all makes you sick, and of course, increases your unescapable yearning for rin. you're so infatuated with him it's annoying.

once dinner is plated, you both eat in the comfort of your kitchen bench, under the warm lighting of your home.

you didn't think you'd be ending your day like this but the complaints die in your mind before they can even be manifested. chatter is exchanged as if you don't see each other during the day, and even when both your bowls are scraped empty, neither make the move to clean up and break out of this little, precious bubble you've created.

the sun has fully set now. rin should be going back home instead of answering some 'would you rather' question you suddenly created, and although you ridicule him for his choice, the best he cracks is a small smile in amusement.

when you first met itoshi rin on your first day on the job, you didn't think you'd get along with him as well as the rest of the team but, you were proven wrong very quickly. on team dinners, nights out, coffee runs, rin always joined them despite having seeming like the most antisocial man ever, and it just became easy to spend time with him.

from then on marked your downfall.

chats in your office became a regularity, his tendency to stay late for extra practice and your tendency to stay late to finish outstanding work made you both excellent commute partners, and his punctuality and assertiveness made him an excellent team captain to rely on.

somewhere between the carpools, mundane conversations on green fields, and water filler station visits, you fell for him.

you just hope rin will let you down easily.

when the clock strikes 10:30 and you let out your first yawn, rin takes it as his sign to leave. productive in cleaning up and wishing you a goodnights rest, he's gone with a soft smile and an even softer gaze.

as your front door shuts, you feel a little empty at the silence that follows his absence.

the next morning when you arrive at work, there's a little more pep in your step due to the delightful night before. when you walk into your office after greeting the members of the team who were already there, you stop short at the sight of something unfamiliar on top of your desk.

rounding the table, your heart skips a beat in a nauseating combination of nervousness, yearning, and flattery.

a box of sugar cookies with jam pressed in the shape of a heart, sit pretty on your desk; next to a note.

go on a date with me? ─ itoshi rin

[helloalycia]

𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐑 [𝐓𝐖𝐎] // 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐃

summary: as Lucy Gray begins to spend more time with you, you wonder if it's only because of obligation or if she actually wants to spend time with you.

warning/s: mentions of cheating.

author's note: just wanna say that i really appreciate reading everyone’s thoughts on my stuff, whether it be an anonymous message or a comment on the post! it’s harder to get feedback on tumblr vs. wattpad, so it means a lot when i do! that’s all – hope you like this part 🥰

one / three / masterlist / wattpad

It was sweltering out today, much hotter than usual, and for some insane reason, Y/S/N wanted to spend the day playing in the park with her friends and I. I couldn't exactly deny her cute little face when she asked, so that was how I found myself kicking around a ball with a bunch of ten-year-olds.

I was so focused on not kicking it too hard to hit them by accident that I didn't notice Maude Ivory running into the park and joining the kids' side to play. I looked where she ran from and spotted the rest of the Covey waltzing in, minus Billy Taupe of course. They joined Maude Ivory's side, chatting to the other kids and Y/S/N, as Lucy Gray approached me with an amused smile.

"Why, how cute," she commented, and I finished kicking the ball to one of the kids before glancing at her with a quirked brow.

"What?"

She smiled as she joined my side, nodding to the kids. "Taking Y/S/N out. Playin' with the kids."

"Well, it was either that or have her cooped up inside. And I'm sure she'd be more annoying there," I joked. "Feels kinda pointless though, since it's hotter out here than it is inside."

She chuckled, about to respond, but Y/S/N ran up to me eagerly, interrupting our conversation.

"Y/N, do you have the skipping rope?"

"Hold your horses," I said with a suppressed smile, before kneeling down to dig the skipping rope from my bag.

"Hey, Lucy Gray," she was greeting the singer enthusiastically. "I liked your song the other night!"

Lucy Gray quirked a brow exaggeratedly, hands on her hips. "And what were you doin' out that late to hear me sing, sugar?"

As I stood up, rope in hand, I caught Y/S/N smiling nervously.

"My mummy took me on a walk around town and I heard it from outside the Hob."

"Well, that's no good," Lucy Gray said with a frown. "No performance should be heard like that."

"I'm not allowed inside," Y/S/N said with flushed cheeks. "Mummy and daddy says it's for grown-ups. Like you and Y/N."

Sighing playfully, Lucy Gray said, "I guess it's time to change that, don't you?"

Y/S/N's smile grew into a hopeful one and I glanced at Lucy Gray, wondering what she meant by that.

"We're headin' down to the lake to cool off," she said, this time to me. "You wanna join?"

I opened my mouth, not sure what my answer would've been, but Y/S/N jumped up and down excitedly.

"Yes! Yes! Oh, Y/N, please let's go!"

I blinked. "Erm–"

"Oh, please, please, please," she continued to beg, shaking my arm.

"You gon' say no to that little face, darlin'?" Lucy Gray teased, putting me on the spot.

I gave her a disapproving look, before sighing and giving in to Y/S/N. "I guess we're going to the lake."

Y/S/N grinned and hugged me quickly before looking to Lucy Gray. "Let me just say bye to my friends."

Lucy Gray laughed and nodded, watching her run off to her friends.

"You know you're gonna have to sing for her now, right?" I asked Lucy Gray with amusement, putting the skipping rope back in my bag and grabbing it.

"I'm well aware," she answered. "Though, it'll have to be after a dip in the lake. I could just about melt right now."

And if that statement wasn't accurate then, it was on the walk down to the lake. A much longer walk than I thought, I was already sweating through my shirt, but it didn't seem to bother Y/S/N who was chatting and giggling excitedly with Maude Ivory and Clerk Carmine up ahead. It was a heartwarming sight, though it made me wonder why we were here at all.

Yes, Maude Ivory and Y/S/N were friends, but never close enough that Y/S/N had been invited to hang out with her and the rest of the Covey. And all the same, I'd worked with the lot of them, but had never gotten close enough to them that they'd invite me out also. Lucy Gray invited me, and I hated that it might have just been because of the fact that I'd looked out for her recently. An obligatory friendship, if you will.

"Someone's stuck in their head."

A testament to that statement, I failed to notice Lucy Gray slowing down her walking so she fell into step with me as we walked through the woods.

I smiled a little, though I was definitely still overthinking. And then I decided to just come out with it. "You don't need to do this, y'know."

"And what is it that I'm doin'?" she asked with a stifled smile.

I couldn't look at her as I said, "Feel like you owe me for the past few weeks. Hanging out because of it."

"Are we not friends?" she asked, and when I looked to her, I saw the teasing glint in her eyes. "Can friends not hang out?"

I swallowed hard the longer she held my stare, brown eyes glistening golden in the sunlight. "Well, I– before everything, I just thought– we weren't–"

Oh, gosh, why did she always have me flustered?

She started to laugh, eyes squinting as she did. "I'm only teasin'. But to answer your concerns, I'm not doin' this because I think I owe you. I just always found you interesting, and I suppose it was finally time to see why."

I breathed out through my nose, unsure how to reply, but my face was definitely heating up at her words. Goddamn the pretty girl with the ability to make everything sound so smooth.

After what felt like forever, we finally reached the lake, particularly a spot where there was a dock, a boat and a little cabin. It must have been used regularly by the Covey as it looked well-worn, but it was stunning nonetheless.

It didn't take long for everyone to strip out of their clothes and jump right in, savouring the refreshing cold water of the lake. After helping Y/S/N out of her dress, I jumped out of my trousers and shirt before the two of us jumped in together, splashing everyone and earning both groans and laughter. A smile was fixed on my lips as I looked over Y/S/N, who was swimming to Maude Ivory and splashing her playfully, the two of them giggling like the kids they were.

"Much better out here, right?" Lucy Gray swam from behind me, a grin on her face.

"It is," I agreed, pushing my hair from my eyes. "We've been out here a few times. It's where we learned to swim, though not on this side. I didn't even know this existed."

"Yeah, it's mainly a Covey secret," she said, glancing out at the cabin.

"It's pretty," I said, following her gaze to it. "Thanks for bringing us. But I'll probably forget where it is. It's easy to get lost out here."

"I can teach you the route if you want," she offered.

"You're gonna have to now that you've shown Y/S/N this place," I joked, before looking out at my sister, who was having the time of her life. "She'll never wanna leave."

Lucy Gray laughed, a vibrant melodious sound, as pretty as her singing voice, that sent a flutter of butterflies in my stomach and a fuzzy feeling in my chest.

We swam in the water until the pads of our fingers and toes were shrivelled, playing games and enjoying the coolness against our skin, then we got out and dried off under the sun. I was chatting to Barb Azure and Tam Amber about everything and nothing as Maude Ivory and Clerk Carmine went to pick some herbs.

Meanwhile, Lucy Gray was giving Y/S/N the performance of her life, serenading her with all her favourite songs and making her the most excited I'd ever seen her. Y/S/N was sat cross legged before the brunette, watching her with adoration, like she'd never seen someone so enchanting.

I caught myself glancing over too, unable to look away when Lucy Gray's voice was so rich and captivating, declaring everyone's attention. The Covey were used to it, but I wasn't sure I ever could be. And right now, as she strummed a few chords on her prized guitar, the most beautiful ballad escaping her lips, her curly hair wet but drying, dripping little droplets of water onto her dress... I was certain I was utterly and hopelessly enamoured by her.

Trying very hard to remain present in the conversation with the others, I brought my attention back to them, but not before my eyes caught sight of Maude Ivory and Clerk Carmine pulling at some roots in the distance. Clerk Carmine, in particular, didn't look very happy, and I realised he was a little quieter than usual today.

"Hey, is Clerk Carmine alright?" I asked the others.

Barb Azure followed my gaze before sighing quietly. "Yeah, he just misses Billy Taupe."

I fell quiet, feeling guilty for some reason, even though I hadn't done anything wrong. Billy Taupe was his brother, and I couldn't have imagined how difficult this whole situation was for him.

"He shouldn't," Tam Amber said bitterly. "Not after what he did to Lucy Gray. To all of us."

"Yeah, that wasn't very nice, was it?" I mumbled, and they shook their heads in response.

It was awkward, or maybe it was just awkward on my end. They used to come to the lake with him, and now they were here with me. Wasn't I intruding?

"Y/N!" Lucy Gray called to me, as Barb Azure nudged my arm.

I zoned back into reality, looking up and realising Lucy Gray had been calling me a few times, now stood up and waiting.

"Sorry, what?" I said, confused and still a little distracted by all the Billy Taupe talk.

"I said I need a hand getting the fishing pole," she said with a chuckle. "C'mon."

"Right, yeah, sure," I said with a nod, before standing up and dusting my trousers off.

Quickly glancing around, I spotted Y/S/N with Maude Ivory and Clerk Carmine, collecting herbs. Trusting them to it, I followed after Lucy Gray and into the cabin, where she led me to some floorboards that came loose, revealing the fishing rods.

As we kneeled down to get them, she said, "Why the long face?"

"Huh?"

"Back there," she said casually, reaching in for the fishing rods. "What happened? Did someone say something?"

"What? Oh, no, nothing, sorry," I said, realising I needed to get a better grip on my facial expressions.

"No need to be sorry," she said in a way that was lighthearted but didn't feel like it. "I was just worried."

I glanced at her, wondering why she cared about me all of a sudden. Yes, she said we were friends, but was it just that or an obligation? Again, I was getting lost in my head, so I tried to ignore it and instead helped her grab the rods.

We spent the remainder of the afternoon fishing, cooking our catch up over a fire, and then the others took a well-earned nap under the tree in the shade. Only Lucy Gray and I were awake, myself unable to sleep so freely, feeling the need to watch over Y/S/N, and Lucy Gray doodling in her notebook.

"You think a lot," she spoke up, startling me. And when I looked to her with confusion, she said, "You're always stuck in your head, darlin'."

I pursed my lips, shaking my head as if it would clear my thoughts. Billy Taupe came to mind, as did Clerk Carmine's sullen expression, and I couldn't help but ask Lucy Gray, "How have you been lately? Y'know, with the whole Billy Taupe thing?"

She closed her notebook, hands pressing to the top. "As good as can be."

I watched her, anticipating she wasn't finished.

"It was a bet, y'know," she said softly, though not as upset as I thought she would be. "What he did. He wanted to see if he could have the both of us. I don't think she knew, Mayfair, but she ain't sorry about it either."

I frowned, my dislike for Billy Taupe only growing the more I learnt about him. He sounded horrible, and I wondered if he was always like that. Surely not, if Lucy Gray had loved him once upon a time.

"That's awful," was all I could think to say. "I'm sorry."

She shrugged it off, and as much as she played it off like it didn't matter, I knew it did. Even just a little.

"He isn't causing you any trouble, is he?" I asked with a hint of concern. "Him or Mayfair?"

"And what if he is?" she asked right back, a playful smile tugging at her lips.

I shrugged, not picking up on her joke right away. "I don't know... I can try to have a word with him, I suppose."

She laughed softly. "You're too cute."

That's when I realised she was indeed joking, and I felt my cheeks heat up with embarrassment, looking ahead.

"I appreciate it, but no thank you," she continued, nudging my arm slightly. "You're not to get involved, remember?"

I exhaled quietly, nodding. "Okay. Forget him. What about you?"

"What about me?" she played along, leaning on her knees and looking at me.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, meeting her gaze.

She hummed, looking up in thought. "I was hurtin'. Still am, a little."

I nodded in ackownlgedgment, feeling bad for her. "Do you miss him?"

"For the Covey, yeah," she admitted. "He was family for a while. But not for me." Sucking up a breath, she leaned over her knees and looked out at the lake. "I may have once loved him, but not anymore. And I definitely can't trust him again."

I hummed softly, understanding what she meant. It couldn't have been easy to cut someone off who'd been so close to her and her family.

"Enough about him, anyway," she said, offering a smile my way. "He don't deserve my breath."

I returned her smile, deciding to change the subject. "Right... well, I guess now is the perfect time to thank you for today. For making Y/S/N the happiest I've seen her in a long time."

"She's lovely, and made me just as happy," she retorted nonchalantly.

My smile widened at her kind words, and then hers widened too.

"You have a pretty smile," she complimented.

I blinked, surprised and embarrassed, before mumbling an awkward thank you. She laughed at my dismay, before laying back against the blanket. I did the same, looking up at the sky peacefully.

"Y/N?" she said after a moment of quiet.

"Yeah?" I replied, not tearing my gaze from the lone cloud in the sky.

"I know we said we weren't gonna talk about it, but I'm kind of glad Billy Taupe did what he did."

I furrowed my brows together, confused. "Why?"

She paused, and then admitted, "Because I wouldn't have become better friends with you."

Naturally, a smile curled on my lips, and that familiar flurry of butterflies began making its way into my heart.

A few more weeks passed, and in that time, Lucy Gray was proving to be a great friend, though my crush on her was only growing bigger the more I spent time with her. As well as working together, the Covey would invite me to their place sometimes on our days off, merely just to hang out which was kind of them. It also meant spending more time with Lucy Gray, which wasn't a bad thing.

One evening, they begged me to let Y/S/N come see them perform, so after convincing my mum to bring her to see a few songs, they were both able to join me at work for a little while. I set them up at a nice table in the corner, away from any potential mischief that could occur and also giving them the best view of the stage.

"A drink for you," I said to my mum with a smile, setting down the tray on their table right before the Covey were due to perform. "And some crackers for you, squirt."

Y/S/N was practically shaking her chair as she eagerly awaited Maude Ivory's introduction onstage, and it was adorable to witness.

"Thanks, dear," my mum said, squeezing my hand. "You have time to sit with us?"

I chewed on my lip, glancing around. Everyone seemed to have a drink on them, and even Miles was looking at the stage, waiting for the evening to truly begin.

"I'm sure I can listen to one song," I decided, and Y/S/N grinned before tugging me onto the stool beside her.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulder before Maude Ivory walked from between the curtain, approaching the microphone. I'd seen their performances many times and yet it never got old.

"...and it's a special night tonight, because my friend, Y/S/N, is here to hear us perform," Maude Ivory gave a special shout-out to Y/S/N, who was ecstatic.

One by one, as the music built up, the Covey revealed themselves from behind the curtain, eliciting cheers and a round of applause from everyone, including us. It was Maude Ivory's solo first, and a great one at that, and I found my eyes naturally being drawn to Lucy Gray, as they always did, who was watching her with pride in her eyes.

After the song ended, we gave them another round of applause before I knew I had to get up.

"I've gotta work now, but if you need anything let me know," I told my mum, before offering Y/S/N a smile. "Remember, only a few more songs then you've got to go home. It can get rowdy in here when it's late."

"I know, I know," she waved me off, making me roll my eyes playfully.

I got back to work, keeping an eye out on my family and occasionally watching the Covey perform, and it was a wholesome experience. As more latecomers from the mines began to file in, the place was getting pretty packed, and I knew it was time for my family to head off.

"D'you enjoy the show?" I asked Y/S/N when we were all by the door.

She nodded with a grin. "It was amazing, Y/N, thank you!" Then she hugged my mum and added, "Thanks, mummy. Thanks for bringing me."

My mum chuckled as she hugged her back, glancing at me. "It was a fun evening, Y/N. And I'm proud of you. You're working hard, love."

I smiled shyly, appreciating the acknowledgment, and then someone's presence was beside me and I looked up to see the Covey stood there, having left the stage for a moment.

"We just wanted to say thank you for letting Y/S/N watch us perform tonight, Mrs Y/L/N," Maude Ivory said with a respectful nod.

"Yeah, thank you, ma'am," Tam Amber added. "We hope you liked the performance."

My mum chuckled. "Well, aren't you all adorable. It was no worry at all. And you're all very talented, you should be proud of yourselves. It's no wonder Y/N enjoys working here so much."

I felt my face heat up as they looked to me with teasing smiles. After saying our goodbyes to them, my mum left with Y/S/N and the Covey returned to the stage whilst I got back to work. They performed a few more songs before settling on a really cheery one, encouraging everyone in the audience to dance along. It was cute to watch everyone get involved, especially when they managed to hold a tune and still join the crowd, dancing along with them. Maude Ivory was still onstage, taking the lead with her drums and voice, and the Hob was suddenly transformed into a ray of excitement and laughter.

"Aren't you gonna join in?" Lucy Gray's voice made me turn around from a table I was cleaning, and she was standing there with a mischievous smile on her lips.

I couldn't help but smile back. "I'm working, sorry."

She gave me a disapproving look, before calling over to Miles behind the bar. "Miles, can I steal her for a song?"

He glanced at her, then at me, and I gave him a deadly warning look which only made him grin and nod his head.

"She's all yours, Lucy Gray!"

Lucy Gray's smile brightened the room in an instant. "I think you're free now, Y/N."

Before I could protest, she took the rag from my hand and threw it on the table before taking my hand properly and tugging me closer to the audience.

"I'm warning you right now, Lucy Gray, I have two left feet," I said weakly, both my hands growing sweaty as she kept ahold of one and placed the other on her shoulder.

"You'll just have to follow my lead, darlin'," she said with a grin, before suddenly waltzing me around the room at full speed, matching the beat of the song.

I let out a yelp, grip naturally tightening in hers as she manoeuvred us around the others, whisking us into a world that only consisted of my surprise, her melodious laughter, and the stare she wouldn't look away with. After a moment of getting used to it, it became enjoyable, and I began to smile nervously as she spun me around, her eyes sparkling with joy. Never in a million years did I see myself dancing with Lucy Gray, and now I didn't want anything else except that right now.

When the song finally ended, we came to a sudden halt, breathless and laughing, and then the whole room erupted into cheers.

My heart was beating ever so fast, and I knew it wasn't from the dancing.

"Can you take the rubbish outside, Y/N, please?" Miles asked as he finished stacking the chairs. "It's by the back door. Then you can head off."

"Will do," I told him, before heading to the back to do just that, already craving the sweet escape of my bed afterwards.

I grabbed the bag of rubbish before carrying it outside and going to drop it in the giant metal bin next to the Hob. Only, as the lid dropped close, I heard footsteps from behind me and turned around, confused. That was when I spotted Billy Taupe, walking unsteadily towards me and stopping a few feet away.

"Look, Billy Taupe, I'm not in the mood," I told him tiredly.

He laughed, before slurring, "Too tired from spendin' all night with Lucy Gray?"

"What?"

"You didn't think she actually liked you, did you?" he asked with a feigned sympathy.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, not at all fazed by his imagination and jealousy. "I don't know what you're talking about. But I am tired, so–"

He scoffed sharply, cutting me off. "Sure you don't. Why would you have noticed the way she looks at you, or all this time she's been givin' you lately, or the flirty smiles she's sendin' you? Right?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, waiting for him to get to the point so he could leave. "What do you want?"

He shrugged, playing dumb. "I'm just doing my part, dear Y/N! Warnin' you is all!"

I rolled my eyes, patience worn thin, and turned to head back inside, but he said something that stopped me in my tracks, annoyingly enough.

"You're just the next best thing," he told me with a cocky, dazed smile. "A distraction from me. I mean, think about it. When has she ever paid you any attention before? She clung to you as soon as I wasn't in the picture! She needed a replacement for me. You."

I clenched my jaw, glaring at him. "Leave me alone, Billy Taupe, you don't know a damn thing."

He began to laugh again, but I didn't stay to entertain any more of his idiocy as I headed back inside, letting the door slam shut behind me. He was a drunk, jealous fool, and yet I couldn't stop replaying his words over and over in my head. Was there any truth to them? Lucy Gray had never been so close to me before, so what was different now? Was I really just a distraction? A replacement?

Admittedly, Billy Taupe's wish came true and I was distracted by his bold claims, unable to think of anything but. Whenever Lucy Gray hung around me so closely, or teased me in a way that could be perceived as more than platonic, I couldn't help but wonder if it was as Billy Taupe had said.

One evening, after work, I was finishing wiping down the tables when the Covey popped in, presumably to say their goodbyes to Miles and I. But instead, they came to me hopefully.

"We're gonna have ourselves a little bonfire when we head back home," Barb Azure said enthusiastically. "You wanna come?"

I smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, guys, but I have to wait until closing, and by the time I've finished cleaning, it'll be too late. You should go on ahead."

"Aw no, c'mon, Y/N!" Maude Ivory said hopefully. "We can wait!"

I chuckled, appreciating her kindness. "I don't wanna hold you up. Maybe next time."

"I can clean up tonight, Y/N, I don't mind," Miles suddenly chimed in from behind the bar, having heard our conversation. To be fair, we weren't exactly quiet and there was no one else here.

"Really?" I asked, surprised. He'd always been nice to me, but this was a little too much to offer to do.

"'Course," he insisted with a smile, before nodding encouragingly. "Go on, be a kid for the night."

The others cheered in appreciation as I gave him a grateful smile before running over to give him a hug. He was always so lovely to me when he didn't need to be, and I felt like if I ever had an older brother, I'd want it to be him.

"Thanks," I said once more, before grabbing my bag from the back and joining the others. "Okay, I'm ready."

Everybody was buzzing with excitement, both the adrenaline from their performances this evening still coursing through them and the eagerness to make the bonfire pushing them on. They were talking about the evening, myself merely listening in and smiling as they rambled excitedly, before Lucy Gray fell into step with me and nudged my arm slightly.

"How was work tonight?" she asked with a soft smile.

"I'm kinda relieved it finished early to be honest," I admitted with a sigh. "I've been picking up extra shifts and I'm certain my feet will fall off."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "It looked like there was a commotion between you and a customer this evening," she noticed. "What was that all about?"

I tried to rack my brain for memory of what she was talking about, and then I nodded in acknowledgement. "Ah, yes. That happens sometimes. A peacekeeper can't handle his booze and gets all touchy feely. Nothing to worry about. That's why Miles is there."

She frowned. "That's awful. Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, of course," I reassured her with a small smile. "Miles has my back. And it doesn't always happen, honest."

"Still," she mumbled sympathetically, before shaking her head and grabbing my hand. "C'mon, you'll love this."

Goosebumps ran up my arm when she tugged me along to her house when it was in viewing distance. The six of us pulled the bonfire together pretty quickly, with Barb Azure doing the honours of lighting a match and starting the fire. It was cool outside, a usual summer evening in District 12, so the fire provided an additional warmth to an otherwise comforting evening.

We all sat in a circle around it, sitting on whatever chairs they had, all mismatched but well-loved.

"You know what this calls for," Lucy Gray said after a moment of quiet, the lot of us staring into the flames.

I was confused, but one by one they began to grin, and then they all jumped up at once to go and collect their instruments. I laughed when they returned and began to play yet again, though it was different to their usual stuff. Much more mellow, this music created the perfect ambience, and it was easy to see that they were playing for themselves rather than their usual upbeat tunes for an audience. It was refreshing, and oddly intimate.

I could have sat there forever merely watching them, all in sync with one another. Then Maude Ivory was tapping on her drum gently, with Clerk Carmine strumming at his fiddle absentmindedly, the two of them chatting. And Barb Azure was strumming loosely at her bass, Lucy Gray doing the same with her guitar, as they conversed with Tam Amber and I.

We stayed out there for a while, until the small bonfire was almost gone and the others began to get sleepy, heading in for the evening. Before I knew it, only Lucy Gray and I remained, and I knew it was late.

"I should probably go," I said to her when I noticed.

"A shame," she commented, making me roll my eyes playfully, a smile tugging at my lips.

She didn't speak, and when I looked over to her in the chair beside me, she was watching me closely.

"What?" I asked, curious and confused.

She shook her head and looked back to the fire.

"Well, that's not very nice," I said, feigning disappointment.

She cracked a smile, though didn't look my way. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"And who's stuck in their head now?" I teased, making her smile widen. "Go on, what is it? What's on Lucy Gray Baird's mind so late at night?"

She pressed her lips together, exhaling quietly, and then her eyes found mine, but she wasn't quite meeting my gaze. "You're pretty cute, you know that?"

Certainly not expecting that, my mouth opened slightly, baffled.

She began to laugh quietly, cautious of the others who were asleep. "That's why I didn't say it."

I licked my lips nervously, looking to the fire. "I– never mind."

"I mean it though," she added, and I awkwardly mumbled a thanks in return, face flushing, and not because of the fire.

So trapped in my own nerves, I didn't hear her call my name until she repeated it again.

"Yeah?" I answered, risking looking up at her.

She was already watching me, flames of gold dancing in her brown eyes and catching me off guard. Instead of speaking, she suddenly leaned forward, capturing my bottom lip between hers.

It would have been so easy to fall right into it, the warmth of her skin sending shivers across mine, and the taste of her lips sending my heart into overdrive, but I pulled back suddenly. She tried to chase me down, but I moved back properly, dazed. Wasn't it too soon?

"What is it?" she asked worriedly.

I swallowed hard, unable to meet her eyes. "Lucy Gray–"

"Oh, no," she realised, growing embarrassed. "I read this wrong, didn't I?"

I couldn't think straight, not when my lips were still tingling from the kiss. "What?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Y/N," she said apologetically. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

I shook my head, still in awe. "No, it's just–" I paused, trying to find the right words, and then Billy Taupe's conversation came to mind again. "It's not been long since you and Billy Taupe broke up. I'm not–" Embarrassed, I met her stare. "Whatever you're looking for, I can't be it."

It hurt me to say it, especially when the girl I'd been crushing on for years was finally liking me back. But I didn't want it to happen like this.

Her cheeks dusted pink, made visible by the dying light of the fire, and I immediately felt guilty.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "I didn't mean to–"

"You're right," she spoke, upset. "It's not fair on you."

I didn't know what to say, and then she stood up, so I did too.

"I'm sorry again," she said, not looking at me at all. "Goodnight."

Turning, she left me by the fire as she headed inside, and I felt a huge weight pressing on my chest as I left too, both confused and a little hurt with how everything just went down.

Why did things have to be so complicated?

[jaimeski]

Ik this wasn't directed at me- but a guide to posting on Tumblr would be great actually

-Tumblr vet finally wanting to post art

no worries!

first thing you need to do is to set up your blog like making pinned post (what's your name, your pronouns, your art tag, can people use your art as pfp etc.)

then i recommend you have your own art tag whether it's "my art" or "[your name] art" or smth like mine (jrrart) go crazy with it don't forget to put it in your bio or you pinned

when you post if you want people to find your art easily tag "qsmp" or "qsmp fanart" they are commonly used when people want to find new art

tag your character(s) it can be "qsmp [character name]" or "q![character name]

if it's shipping art make sure to tag it as qsmp shipping or qsmpshipping for people to filter it you can also tag the duo/ship in case you want people who like that relationship to find it

tumblr does compress your image quality so beware of it lmao

turn on "Prevent third-party sharing" it's in your blog setting under the visibility section

one last thing, don't be afraid to reblog your art and other's art! they will never be found if you only like it

[kindnessoverperfection]

Feel free to ignore this, but I'm a disabled writer who tends to focus on representation in my works, and I came across your posts about having npd while doing research for a side character in a story of mine. I really appreciate you taking the time to write out a description of npd that shows the roots of the issues and the way they affect the people who have it rather than how outsiders perceive it. I just wanted to ask if there were any traits of npd that you personally would like to see in npd representation/ if you have any thoughts on how you'd like to see characters with npd represented in media? I know at current there's basically no positive npd rep, which sucks for sure, but in a hypothetical situation where there was a character with npd who wasn't villianized for it, what sort of aspects of npd would be comforting for you to see reflected in a story?

Once again, feel free to ignore this ask if I'm overstepping at all, and I hope you have a wonderful day <3

Hi!! ♡ Apologies for the late reply, I wasn't on tumblr for a few days, then my alter was out for the next couple days and I wanted to be the one to respond-

I really appreciate that you're taking the time to research and create thoughtful representation, and I'm glad my posts could offer some help with that!

My first two thoughts are:

Characters whose symptoms present differently than the common portrayal of NPD

It's super common for people to not recognize NPD because they have this very limited view of what it is and how it can present - so it would be nice to see representation that shows variety in the way it can manifest.

For example, it's actually very common for someone with the disorder to primarily "lash in" rather than "lash out", but I never see that represented (intentionally, at least).

There's also a very limited perception of narcissistic characters being blatantly arrogant, grandiose, braggy, selfish, power-hungry, etc. But really, there's an unlimited number of ways someone can present outwardly, because the only thing that's crucial to the diagnosis is the internal experience - how if affects the person who has it. How they appear outwardly to others can vary wildly.

(I'll admit, some of these "stereotypical NPD" characters feel very relatable due to shared symptoms and vibes and power fantasies. To the extent that I have one of them as my pfp on some accounts lol. But if you met me IRL, my vibes are just "confident and bubbly, polite, quiet and distant, fashion-oriented, straight A student, cutesy, braggy, adventurous", and I always make the effort to be kind to people even though I can be somewhat distant and goal-oriented.)

It's also common to think of someone "flying into a rage" when they feel criticized - but anger (whether external or internal) isn't an inherent part of it. The issue is that someone perceives criticism as a threat, so their fight/flight/freeze/fawn response kicks in, and there's a large multitude of ways that can show up.

(Personally, I go into either fight or fawn mode. But the vast majority of the anger I've felt has been entirely self-directed, manifesting in the form of self-criticism, self-hatred, self-destruction, overworking, eating disorders, etc. I will occasionally feel outwards anger, but when I do, I give myself time and space to process it by myself so that I don't upset anyone. And even for those who feel external anger much more often than I do, it doesn't mean they'll express it in an aggressive or harmful way.)

tldr; I'd love to see a variety of outwards presentations, with the NPD being shown via their internal experience, rather than only displayed through stereotypical external behaviors.

2. Humanization for characters with NPD who make mistakes

People with NPD are human just like everyone else, which means that mistakes happen. Everyone accidentally fucks up, hurts someone, lacks self-awareness in certain areas, etc.

The level and type of interpersonal struggles, and the reasons behind these struggles, are all across the board. That's understood with any other disorder (or any sort of identity), but there's so much extra baggage and stigma applied when NPD is involved for some reason.

So for characters with NPD with higher interpersonal conflict, I'd want them to be humanized in the same way that anyone else with any other identity would be humanized. And I'd also want it shown that characters who don't have NPD can have high interpersonal conflict as well, that it's not limited to this disorder.

"what sort of aspects of npd would be comforting for you to see reflected in a story?"

In terms of specific aspects-

Personally, I'd love to see a character who like... tries to be perfect. Is externally very put-together in some way - maybe they're very kind and soft-spoken and sweet, or they're silly and happy and energetic, or they're quiet and serious and protective, or calm and mysterious and self-assured, doesn't matter. But everything seems okay on the surface.

But internally, they put so much pressure on themself. They hold themself to impossible standards, and feel like they HAVE to be seen a certain way and never show weakness. They have to handle everything perfectly. Just... so many symptoms and struggles that are hurting them internally, and overtime it ends up bubbling out in small ways, or like. Tbh I'd love it if someone would just... notice.

Notice the perfect bubbly happy straight-A student who's always kind and never shares their own opinions. Notice the quiet, highly-skilled protector of the group who somehow always knows the right thing to say and the right way to act.

And give them permission to be imperfect. To be human. Show them that they aren't their reputation or their skills or how impressive they are, they're so much more than that.

They can see the pain they're in, and instead of treating them as this untouchable perfect being, they treat them in a human way.

The super bubbly character seems completely unaffected by recent tragedy? Okay. Their friend doesn't ignore that. They don't push and prod, but they don't ignore it. They sit with them, spend time with them, hold them, they know it affected them.

I'm imagining a scene where the character w/NPD fucks up somehow, and they seem fine, but someone close to them suddenly Realizes and they just. Go to find them. And they're just having a massive breakdown, but the moment they see their friend, they quickly try and shove everything under the surface and act cool and unaffected and "normal", but their friend goes over and just holds them and. Ungh. 10/10

Couple months ago I did actually see an episode of a show like that, and both times I watched it, I bawled my fuckin eyes out lol.

Different people may have different answers in terms of what they'd feel most comforted by, but for me personally, I'd love this so much, because this is how I present and I desperately want to be Seen and Loved and have someone see my self-worth as being inherent and not tied into how "perfect" I am.

Closing thoughts:

Personally, there's not much that I'd feel offended by. To be honest, in addition to characters who fit the above points (various presentations, average-level interpersonal conflict, etc.), I also write characters who have that "stereotypical" presentation. I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as it's not done maliciously, especially if there's other types of characters shown. (Similar to having both gay villains and gay protagonists or side characters, y'know)

The only thing I'd dislike / that would hurt my feelings is like... seeing a character be heavily demonized for their traits*, or the only characters with NPD being horribly abusive, or the usage of stigmatizing language (aka, if the character is spoken about the way buzzfeed articles speak about us).

*aka, demonized for the symptoms. Totally fine if someone does something shitty and it's pointed out as being shitty / if people dislike them for that lol.

Hopefully this isn't getting too long, but to give an example of what I mean, something I saw that did hurt my feelings was like-

There was an episode of a show where a character got super braggy and confident, and was relishing in the praise and admiration she was getting. Hinging her self-worth on that recognition and success. And her friends got annoyed and pissed off, simply because she was braggy. There were a couple of things here and there she did that were kind of insensitive, but that was never really pointed out or seen as the main issue, it was only her bragging that was being demonized for some reason.

And then her friends all ganged up behind her back and did something to intentionally trigger a crash and make her feel insecure and terrible about herself, all to "knock her down a peg". And the narrative framed that as being justified, framed her friends as being correct in this situation. They never once showed concern for her mental health or the fact that she was hinging her self-worth on other people's opinions of her, they tore her down for her bragging instead of either a) supporting and uplifting her, or b) showing concern for unhealthy mindsets, and they never even tried to approach her or communicate with her about the things she was doing that actually were insensitive.

Hopefully that wasn't too much of a tangent lol, but that's the type of thing I mean by "being demonized for their traits". Hate when all a character is doing is bragging and feeling good about themself and the narrative frames them in an extremely negative light for it :(

Okay I will wrap up the post here as it's already pretty long, but hopefully this helped a bit!! Thank you for the question, and good luck with your writing! ^^

[idcallmyselfhuman]

Xiao/Aether 👹⛅ Masterlist 2.0

A compilation of moments between Xiao and Aether through the years. The last revamp I did on the old post got nuked by Tumblr, so I just made a new one.

I tried to be as complete as I can, but there's probably some stuff I still missed. The shipping wiki is great for compiling stuff, but I felt it wasn't very detailed. Soooo here ya go

Lover's Oath (Lone Tower in the West)

Thank you @kristalijah for the reminder!

On Aether's journey through Liyue, he was tasked to inform the Adepti of Rex Lapis' "death". The Wangshu quest is the first time he meets Xiao in the game, and a certain detail didn't catch a lot of people's attention until the soundtrack got released a while later.

"Lover's Oath" is the song that plays in the background the very first time Xiao appears in front of Aether. On one hand, this could very well just be in reference to the place they were in, as the balcony of Wangshu Inn is known to be where lovers spend time together. However, this theme never plays for any other scene again, nor is it the background music for the balcony in general.

The only time this track is used again is during Tuned to the World's Sounds, an event in-game where Xiao and Aether duet this song on the very place they met, with Xiao playing a lyre, and Aether, a zither.

This theme has only every been used when they are together. So, Lover's Oath can be considered "their" theme. I adore this tidbit of information because it fits their future relationship so well, as the game constantly reminds us now of Xiao's promise to Aether.

Battle of Osial

If you're a fan of this ship, I'm sure you already know. This was the moment the fandom went, "wait a minute...", essentially the birth of the ship itself.

This cutscene is just [chef's kiss], its existence makes me so happy. The Aether community in 2020 has never been the same.

Aether's feet were already steadied. Xiao could have let go already, or let him fall as gracefully as Mountain Shaper did to that guard (I would have hated him). There was no reason to hold on. In fact, he had every excuse to release his hold the moment they got to safety because he was the one who kept insisting that contact with mortals, or even being near them was something he absolutely Did Not Want. But he didn't let go. No, even more— he tightened his hold, squeezing Aether's hand and telling him to be careful. HUH?!?!

Looking back on this scene also made me think of Aether's unique ability to purify things he touches, something that still hasn't been explained. I wonder if Xiao was already gravitating towards Aether because of it, finding comfort in his contact without knowing why, just yet.

Lantern Rite 1.3

I'm sure we're all familiar with this scene, right?

The very first time Xiao promised Ae that no matter what, as long as he calls his name, he will be there. I think the game showed how special that promise is really well.

Moonlight Merriment

On the same year, they released Moonlight Merriment. The first time Aether summoned him was here, when Xiangling was looking for a 'customer' with mild tastes. While Xiao told Ae to call for him when there's trouble, it's really cute that he doesn't really mind what sort of 'trouble' it is.

Whether it be actual danger, or a small dilemma that Aether needs help with, he's there. (Though I guess you can see it as anything that is bothering Ae is considered trouble enough, no matter the scale :))

This scene also clarifies that the promise was specifically made to Aether, and no one else, not even Paimon. The fact that they went so far as to have Paimon call for Xiao multiple times only for nothing to happen is... so fucking funny. Aether says his name once and he's already there.

Just... your commitment is really subtle, Xiao. Keep at it.

Baizhu's Story Quest

The second time Aether summons him is during Baizhu's story quest, and I think this part is what really cemented the weight of that promise for me.

Every single time Aether brings up that he can contact our resident yaksha so easily, they're always surprised. The adepti are known for wanting to keep to themselves that even Changsheng thought it would be impossible for them to meet, but here Xiao was, just one word away for one special traveler.

It's an oath that was made with such... devotion? Loyalty?

It would have been a little more distant had it just been for protection, something like "when you're on the brink of death, you may call for me." but it isn't. This was literally a promise that whenever Ae needed him, Xiao will be there, "Anywhere. Anytime."

It's also sweet how Xiao's departing words are always a reminder to call him whenever needed, to the point where Aether has to say "Yeah, we know." If that promise had an expiration, it sure as hell doesn't matter because Xiao keeps renewing it anyway.

Perilous Trail (Interlude)

Unfortunately, there was one time where Xiao failed to get to Aether, but only because he physically wasn’t able to. The only time he couldn’t fulfill his promise was because he was stuck in a different plane of existence. But even then, once he heard that Aether was in trouble, he was persuaded to cross a literal fucking spacerift to get to them.

You absolutely cannot tell me they aren't in love because you would be wrong.

Also Yanfei being perceptive enough to use Aether being in trouble to convince Xiao? Bless. Where else did we see someone pull out the 'Aether' card on Xiao recently...?

god he's so fucking easy and everyone knows

Anyway, this quest also showed how protective Ae is of Xiao, constantly asking how he is or if he was okay, ignoring Xiao's warnings entirely.

He even gets mad when Xiao brings up creating a will.

Just— a lot of things happened in this quest. While I can't add all of them, do yourself a favor and either play this or check it out in the archives. Yanfei knows what's up

Also there's a part where Aether looks over Xiao's sleeping face and wonders to himself if a person who's always wary is capable of dreams.

To finish off the Chasm segment, it ended with a conversation that had Xiao realizing a lot of things he was lost to because of his grief: that there are people who will always care about him, and in his words, "Even the darkest hearts have room for those they cherish.

"Will Xiao be ravaged by the unending war he wages and be plunged into despair? Or... will he meet someone who understands his sacrifice, and can shine a ray of light into his dark world..." —Dainsleif, Collected Miscellany - "Xiao: Conqueror of Demons"

I think... it was important for him to have had this conversation with Aether. Zhongli acknowledges this as well in the most recent Lantern Rite, but the beginning of the changes within Xiao started because of Aether constantly pushing him to see the light.

Bonus! Xiao being a dumbass

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN "...Really..." YOU WERE JUST STANDING THERE?!?!!??!??

Companion Voicelines

Aether: "How do you like it here?", "Want to chat?"

To bring up Aether's ability to purify things again (Dvalin's Tear), it could be related to that. Or, maybe Xiao just gets so in his head about Aether in his presence that his Karmic Debt just gets insta-blocked. Who knows?

Aether: Is there anything you'd like to do?

For the first and second Lantern Rite, Xiao was still adamant on not even stepping foot in Liyue Harbor, declining every invitation to go there because of how much he disliked being near mortals.

Yet in his teapot voicelines, once you reach a high enough friendship with him, Xiao actually takes the initiative to invite Aether to go to the city, if only to understand him better. Xiao explicitly says that his willingness to go to the harbor was for him.

This isn’t the first time Xiao brings up his wish to get to know Aether better. At first, he kept saying that he has no interest in human affairs, but in his voicelines, as the two of them get closer and closer, he says that he would like to know more about Aether.

I also really like Shenhe's voiceline. Aether's effect on Xiao benefited not only him, but the people surrounding Xiao as well. It's shown in the way Xiao's become softer, and more open to being in social gatherings. We see it the most in Lantern Rite 3.4, Waterborne Poetry, and the biggest one that point towards the cause being Aether is Xiao's birthday letter of 2023.

Birthdays

If Moon Carver's reaction is anything to go by, the old Xiao doing this for his birthday was unfathomable. As Xiao allowed himself to open up to the world, the people around him were also able to enjoy their old friend's presence as well.

Dainsleif said that the cost of his duty was perpetual solitude, but it seems that that's no longer true.

Fun little note: The fact that he went to Moon Carver first is funny to me, since Aether and Moon Carver are both voiced by Zach Aguilar.

I was reminded by @comfortingnightmare that Aether was the first person to celebrate Xiao's birthday in a thousand years :>

Which brings me to another topic! Gifts!

Aside from the adorable fact that every character in the game gifts Aether something on their birthday, Xiao gives him a butterfly made from leaves in his voiceline.

From what I've read, butterflies supposedly mean conjugal love, freedom, and vulnerability of life in Chinese culture. I'm really no expert on this so take that with a grain of salt.

There's also the more obvious meaning, which is transformation in one's self. I really don't like tackling this kind of thing because it's very "the curtain was blue", but if we take their relationship in consideration, it fits.

Lucent Crescent

Big thank you to @spiderskull142 because I didn't even know about this.

In this year's TPRGT image, we see that Paimon is holding a red box—Aether's gift for Xiao. I didn't really pay much attention to it at the time since I thought it was just a regular gift box... and also because I was distracted by Xiao pretending to sleep. It's about the closest we can get to Xiao feigning illness to get pampered LMAO

Anyway, I looked it up and apparently those specific boxes are used to keep jewelry. I looked around Liyue to see if any other store used this box for anything else, but the only one that seemed to have it is Mingxing Jewelry, a boutique that specialized in an ornament called "Lucent Crescent".

Note: The closest I could get to a box that was similar-looking were the red stacked boxes outside of random houses. No other store seemed to have them, so I can only assume that's where the box was from.

When you interact with Xingxi, the person who runs the shop, she tells you about the meaning of Lucent Crescents.

Xingxi: Have you ever heard anyone mention our Lucent Crescent ornaments? They are especially popular with young people. We produce a very limited quantity of Lucent Crescent – only ten per month. People say that if you manage to purchase one of them, you are sure to win the heart of your beloved.

As we know, Aether is very mindful with the gifts he gives every year. I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to think he would order something as valuable as this for Xiao.

And speaking of Aether's gifts...

Teyvat Food Notes: Sweet Dream, Adeptus' Temptation, Mint Jelly, Unagi Chazuke, Satisfying Salad

Alongside Xiao's birthday art are articles from the Teyvat Food Notes, where real-life recipes of in-game food are made, and it also has interactions between XiaoAe on his birthday.

Sweet Dream (Almond Tofu)

Note: Both google translate and Papago seem to use Mandrill instead of Xiao, so... just know that’s who it’s talking about.

This is where we learn that Xiao didn’t even make Sweet Dream; this dish was Aether’s thank you gift to him. Xiao’s specialty dish is a gift from Aether. I’m—aGH! ANYWAY.

Sweet Dream also makes an appearance in Childe’s birthday art in 2022. And— I’m really sorry to Tartaglia, but seeing that dish stole all his thunder I just couldn’t get over it.

I like to think that Aether was so preoccupied with making Childe his birthday feast that he began to absentmindedly prepare Almond Tofu in the way he’s most used to (because of how often Xiao requests it.)

Additional:

Adeptus Temptation

This one in particular isn’t from one of his birthdays, but a special they put out for the first Lantern Rite, which includes every released Liyue character at the time. I was initially going to write it off, but I thought hey what the hell, what are the odds that there’s gonna be a XiaoAether moment in here?

Of course there was. With these two, I should have known.

Note: “Fairy/Buddha Jump over the Wall” is apparently an actual Chinese delicacy that the Adeptus’ Temptation is based on!

A little more additional context, I added the part where Zhongli was going full English teacher at the beginning because everyone was spouting poetry so passionately with every bite of the dish. That’s why Aether wonders, “Do all Liyue people eat like this?”

That’s also why Aether asked Xiao to give him an evaluation of the food, hoping he’d be the same as the others. I found it really cute, especially right now as we just finished Waterborne Poetry.

From the very beginning, Aether caught a glimpse of Xiao’s affinity to being poetic (Isolation does that to ya, who knew?), which is why in the event, he encourages him to write poems. With enough encouragement, along with Xiao pondering over Aether’s words and advice, he eventually does write a poem.

Frost-Coated Slime (Mint Jelly)

For this Teyvat Food Note (2021), Aether laments that he doesn’t really know Xiao very well when he realized that the only gift he can think of giving him is almond tofu.

“Although it is not impossible to continue to treat [Xiao] to eat almond tofu, there is a stubbornness in my heart that has been preventing me from continuing to serve almond tofu.

I don’t want to be the same as usual, I don’t want to give [Xiao] the same gift as everyone else.”

Aether realizes that almond tofu has become somewhat basic, since everyone else gives the same thing, and it’s no longer a gift he considers to be special enough. He then remembers the mint jelly he once tasted in Mondstadt, and thought it was similar enough to the texture and taste of almond tofu. He decides that that’s what he wants to give him.

Once he meets with Xiao, Xiao gives him the ‘butterflies’ he caught (I assume this actually refers to the crystalflies he gives along with the letter?) Aether thinks wearing [crystalflies] on his head doesn’t suit him, but Xiao seems to expect him to wear it judging by his silence. This also fits his letter that year, where he admits he was actively looking for crystalflies for Aether to put on his hair, thinking it would look nice on him.

The last part of the food note is so heartwarming. After Aether has him help prepare the mint jelly, they finally settle down to eat it.

Xiao: It doesn’t look like I want to eat it. I’d better order almond tofu.

[Aether] grabs Xiao and explained that it actually tasted very good, and the texture should be similar to almond tofu.

Aether: The most important thing is that for Xiao’s birthday, I want to make something different as a gift...

Xiao stopped.

Xiao: I don’t worry about the taste of the food you cook. I just want to collect it.

They are so cute?!?!?!?!

Later on, Xiao confesses that he doesn’t like almond tofu just because he likes the taste, but because of the memories that accompany it.

Aether then looks at Xiao, but Xiao doesn’t look at him. Instead, he says “The jelly I made today is a special memory. Thank you.”

Unagi Chazuke

Thank you @dragon-type-nuggetz for sending this one because this is what reminded me that the other teyvat food notes existed aside from almond tofu and adeptus temptation lol

Last one for the Teyvat Food Notes! There’s none for 2023, because they seem to have discontinued it entirely after 2022. This one’s a lot shorter than the other ones, but no less sweet.

Aether knows that with Xiao’s dedication to Liyue, he works non-stop to defend the nation and has never experienced anything as leisurely as going on a vacation for the sake of relaxing. So instead, Aether tells him stories of his travels, and he decides to cook a dish that gives the feeling of traveling with him.

Xiao also says something here that I found really funny.

“Let me start by saying that I have no interest in human food. Even if the food you make doesn’t taste good, I won’t eat it.” CAP. You’ve gone this long eating Aether’s food, who the hell are you trying to fool?

In the end, Xiao finishes the entire bowl to Aether’s shock, but he says he’s sorry as he can’t think of any words to praise the food.

Aether then says that the fact that Xiao finished it at all is the greatest compliment.

Satisfying Salad

This isn’t connected to the food notes this time, but just the dish in general. Satisfying Salad and Almond Tofu are the first dishes that Aether has ever given Xiao in-game to convince him to talk to them. I thought it was a pretty minor thing and didn’t think much of it at the time, up until Smiley Yanxiao brings it up again in Moonlight Merriment.

Everyone around Xiao thought that almond tofu really was the only thing he can eat, only for Aether to prove otherwise. While he claims that he has no interest in human food, and the only thing he can possibly stomach is almond tofu, he has never denied anything that Aether offers him, even when the two of them didn’t even know each other very well yet.

So, for all of Xiao’s talk, he has shown in his actions pretty clearly that Aether is and has always been an exception for him. Whether that be for food, or anything else...

Lantern Rite 3.4

I am here to remind you all of a beautiful scene that should never be forgotten for years to come.

Regardless of Genshin trying to be mysterious and making us guess who saved Aether, the fact that they both came rushing over is incredible on its own. They know that Aether isn't a damsel in distress, and Paimon's acting was so on the nose, but they still couldn't allow even the slightest possibility of harm to come to him.

Xiao looking away and talking in circles just to say he really was worried is the funniest fucking thing.

As for the Lantern Rite dinner... well, first things first. We say thank you to Hu Tao for her services as a professional wing-woman (It's her side-job to advertise the parlor)

Moving on! Remember when Aether told Xiao he'll bail him out of uncomfortable social situations? (Companion voicelines)

There really isn't much I could say that I haven't already said before. For XiaoAether shippers, this was Hoyo spoon-feeding content on a silver spoon. It's Aether and Xiao at their most comfortable with each other, talking and spending time with the people they care about.

It's years of talking to each other, of Xiao realizing that he's at ease when he's speaking to Aether, of learning to talk more about himself to the point where he starts talking about his past and the people in it...

It'll be awhile until Xiao will ever be comfortable with large crowds, but as long as Aether's there who knows when it's becoming 'too much', he'll be fine.

Aether is also, in Xiao's eyes, the most distinguished guest among them all.

I couldn't add it but Xiao also says "I trust Aether's judgement." in this scene.

This Lantern Rite is also where Zhongli acknowledges what Aether has done for Xiao :")

(Suspiciously on the last screenshot, the perspective makes Zhongli look like a pastor wedding the two of them)

Waterborne Poetry

The catalyst for this post. The reminder of how lovely this ship is, and how far these two have come.

As we have all learned from Xiangling, Yanfei, Venti and Hu Tao, you only need to mention Aether's name to convince Xiao of whatever it is you're planning. The part where Aether and Team Chongyun were trying to convince him to come with them and touch some fucking grass was really cute.

This event and the previous Lantern Rite also had Aether and Xiao talking privately, only to get interrupted by Paimon/Xiangling (as well as calling them out lmao)

And, of course, the scene that everyone freaked out over,

A short, but sweet moment where Aether looks at Xiao from afar and immediately gets inspired, performing a poem where the real meaning is shared only between the two of them...

And Xiao's smile.

An expression that Aether had done so well to bring out.

Xiao in a Commission

One last thing! Xiao appears in the Liyue Commission "Uninvited Guests". It's very short, but cute

Xiao: Oh, it’s you.

Aether: What brings you here?

Xiao: I encountered these monsters by chance and defeated them.

Xiao: This area is not safe. So...

Aether: I’ll be careful.

Xiao: Right. I have other matters to attend to. See you.

-

...There are still things I couldn't add, but that's okay. I got mostly everything this time so I'm satisfied. Very grateful to the people who reblogged the old post to add more stuff :))

Some things I didn't add were trivia from the shipping wiki. For one, apparently Xiao's JP voice actor was told by the director to be gentler when speaking to the Traveler. There's also a small part of the Lantern Rite animation where as Xiao and Aether watch the lanterns side by side, Xiao turns to look at Aether right as Paimon blocks his head from view :")

[lemotmo]

This is not a reply to an ask. This is just a post she made. But this actually makes sense and I can't actually believe it makes sense. I also can't believe I kind of want to see it 🤣

Okay I have now watched the episode a couple of times. I was not a fan after the first viewing, but that was my fault. I had unreasonable Buddie expectations for an episode that wasn't at all about Buddie (hold on, I will explain). It was entirely about Buck and from Buck's perspective it was very well done. I think I can see what they might be doing, and if I'm right I will love it. Lots of you will hate it. But it makes perfect sense from a Buck standpoint. I think the show is setting up having Buck make an actual choice. But I think Buck will make the choice not knowing that Eddie is now a genuine choice he can make. I think the audience will be the only ones who know that by the end of episode 6. I'm not sure if I can make this make sense, lol, but I'm going to try, so try and walk with me here. The show clearly established last night that as far as the show is concerned Tommy is a decent choice for Buck to make. He's just not the right choice. He's close, which is why they had him and Eddie react so similarly to Buck last night, but he's not the exact right fit for Buck. Eddie is and they clearly established that last night. Everything about Tommy's scenes last night had him as the odd man out. And the way Eddie was used specifically in the B/T scenes last night clearly placed him in the role of Buck's partner. He was the one who was with Buck at the hospital, and not wearing the visitor tag, he was also the one Tommy called to tend to Buck's face and to try and talk some sense into him. In those scenes Tommy was the one who felt unnecessary and out of place. Eddie was the character that should have felt out of place in those scenes though. But because Eddie is the true correct choice for Buck it felt right for him to be the one taking up that space in those scenes. Eddie is the right choice. But neither Buck or Eddie, yet, know that. The framing of Tommy in all his scenes last night was intentional. Buck is keeping him on the outside. He's not part of the group. Tommy showed up and tried to participate last night, he made effort, but Buck kept him at a distance. I think the advice Buck is going to get in episode 6 is going to be that he has to decide whether to genuinely try or to walk away. I think Buck will choose to try. But while Buck is having his relationship storyline the audience will see Eddie having his storyline and whatever moment of self reckoning for him that involves. But I think the audience will know by the end of that episode that Eddie is now an actual option for Buck to choose, even if he isn't ready to be chosen or to tell Buck. But Buck won't know that. Obviously episode 6 could blow this theory right out of the water but this feels plausible to me. I think this is the will they or won't they part. And again, this may make absolutely no sense but it does feel, at least to me, like they want Buck to have a genuine choice to make between the two. I just think he'll make it, at least at first, without knowing everything. So it will look like one thing but will end up being another thing. Like episode 7x4. It was about Eddie and looked like Eddie but at the end of the episode he was with Tommy. This time the choice will look like Tommy but will end up being Eddie.

Thank you Nonny!

Oooh, I really like this speculation. I can definitely see something like this happen. The show will want to build up their story organically and this could be a good way to start their journey.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[woobots]

SMALL APPRECIATION POST <3

hi...people...who...probably got this in their notifcations. LISTEN. i'm sorry for the unwanted tags BUT!! this is just a little thing noting my appreciation or WHATEVER else. please ignore if you want! and uh this is gonna be a part one?? i'll do another part in the future i think :)

okay so actually idk how to start this + order means nothing, just who came to mind first :)

@topazwrld hii <3 thank you for being a WONDERFUL moot just to start it off. i LOVE ur characters & ur groups and just everything, they're all so cool and the way u make ur lineups so pretty always has me so surprised. ur so nice, ty for letting me rant to u abt reyes and letting me make connections with ur ocs </3 - in short, really tysm for just being great and everything!!!

@pureun hi :D UR SO COOL. JUST LIKE FYI. UR SO COOL REALLY. the COOLEST. i'm so excited for all your ocs already, i just know all of them are amazing and just !!!!!!!!!! yeah !!!!!!!!!! thank you for being supportive with my ocs & even other peoples oc! it's very reassuring to get little comments & reblogs but i'm SURE yk that !! anyway, idk how to wrap this up but UR AMAZING !!! ty for the playlist too btw <3

@lcmonheads hi :D I LOVE UR OCS SM !!!! everyone in lemonheads are actually my kids, just so you know!! i love those boys </3 and ofc sweetner !!!!!!! and noah !!!!!!!! ur so nice </3 and just everything u do is so cool !!!! I LOVE IT !!!! STAY AMAZING !!! TY FOR BEING A MOOT !!

@cultkive ur ocs :(( are :(( so :(( cool :(( !!!!!!!!!!!! judy is my most beloved ever...i love her more than anything, just the way u write her and just EVERYTHING !!! not only that but ego too!! they're so cool, ik u just put them out but !!!!!!! yeah. and ur very kind too !!! ty for being kind and everything. ur amazing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@glasshcvse YOU'RE SO COOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean it. you're one of the coolest people in the whole community. ur ocs and everything are one of a KIND !!!! stupid cupid my beloveds btw...and veronika...i love them. actually, like i really like UHMMM admire you??? i'm not sure how to phrase it but you're a very big inspiration to me within the community!!!!

@enaeura HELLO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hi, i just wanted to say ur very amazing & cool and that. i love your ocs and the way you write everything so much. LIKE EVERYTIME I READ ONE OF NAISU'S LITTLE CHAPTERS MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR. and cleo too </3 i love her so much, she's so cool and amazing. the way u write her is just GREAT ... but !!!!!!! yeah, you're very cool <3 ur ocs are cool <3 everything abt u is cool <3 stay amazing. OH AND !!!! ateez cleo is my most favorite thing to ever exist. i needed to get that off my chest.

@chcrryade i wasn't sure whether to tag this blog or ur others so...i'll give this one a go, sorry!!!!!!! BUT. i loveeeeeee UR STUFF SOOOO MUCH. cherryade my most beloveds. i love the way you've done everything for them so far, the yt video deep dives??? those are so cool and well written. AND !!!!! kihyun too. he's gotta be one of my top additions. i love him so much. but anyway! ur stuff is so amazing </3 i'm in love with it all. ur so cool, stay cool, stay amazing.

i'm just gonna make a list now of other accounts or people i find so cool or amazing. please forgive me for the tags and i'm sorry i couldn't say anything else, my brain has frozen. BUT I DO LOVE ALL UR ACCS, U GUYS ARE SO COOL AND AMAZING AND I LOOK UP TO AND ADMIRE ALL OF U!!!!!!!

@venusvity ... @v1nylz ... @tab1oid ... @totallystars ... @vhsdolly ... @plasticflwrs ... @dulcebot ... @arcanids ... @99kitsch ... @attuncd ... @ppangs ... @midmourn ... @starbcrnes

I'M SO SORRY FOR ANYONE I DIDN'T MENTION!! + i think the tags cut out after so some of u might not've been tagged but that's tumblrs fault i promise...

[hoshiko2000]

So with production for Good Omens Season 3 officially halted, it does look like cancellation may be on the horizon. Because yeah, I really don't think Amazon would 'pause' production on a show this lucrative if there wasn't serious discussions currently going on about 'if' and 'how' it should continue. A production shuffle-up - ie. Neil Gaiman getting booted and new staff being put in charge - is certainly a possibility. But it is important to remember that this will still be a show that is written by him and very intrinsically linked to his brand. And whether fans or studios will still have an appetite for it considering this fact is something that has to be seriously considered.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that as disappointing as it would be, cancelling Good Omens season 3 may be the hard but right decision. And, frankly, if season 2 is anything to go by, we may not be missing out on too much to be honest.

But on a serious note, I do want to use this news as an opportunity to share my own thoughts on the situation, which I will do under the cut (and as is probably obvious, there are trigger warnings for references to SA).

Despite Neil Gaiman's works being a massive part of my content here on this tumblr - and yes, that is something I am very aware of- I've not posted about the sexual assault allegations up until now for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I'm a working adult in my 30s; tumblr is very much a place I come to chill, I'm far too old (and frankly, tired) to get involved in discourse or heated fandom debates (not that those are the correct terms to use to refer to rape allegations but you catch my drift). But the other reason is that these revelations have honestly devasted me, in a way that I'm still processing and doesn't feel like an exaggeration to describe as grief, a feeling I'm sure is echoed by many other people.

Neil Gaiman's works have been a massive part of my adult life, and while I know it sounds like a cliche, they have gotten me through some incredibly difficult times. Coming to terms with the fact that such beautiful, thoughtful, empathetic novels and series have been written by a rapist has been incredibly difficult.

What has also been incredibly difficult to come to terms with is the fact that the incredible queer representation that has drawn so many of us to his television works in recent years was, in hindsight, indisputably a grooming tactic. And yes, grooming is the right word.

The grooming of communities is not something that is often discussed but is absolutely a thing. Predators groom victims to gain access to them, and they groom the people around both the victim and themselves to make it seem unbelievable when the victim later comes forward. And this can happen parasocially too. In the case of Neil Gaiman, he groomed his fanbase by constructing a calculated image as vocal a LGBT ally, drawing in queer fans and creating a smokescreen of apparent empathy and kindness to cast doubt on the future allegations he likely knew would inevitably catch up with him.

I really want to stress - particularly for younger fans - that no one is stupid or somehow culpable for having been fooled by Gaiman, for having supported his works previously, and for continuing to support his works now. I myself have no intention to leave the fandoms I am already a part of, and I genuinely do not believe anyone is under any sort of pressure or obligation to do so. The separation of the art from the artist is a very tricky subject and not something that can ever be done entirely. And if I'm honest I'm not really sure how to navigate this myself, or what this is going to mean for me in the future.

But to get back to the subject of my blog, yes I am planning to continue reposting content related to Good Omens and Dead Boy Detectives. However the latter differs drastically in that the series was not actually written by Neil Gaiman and is effectively an author-approved spin-off of one of his works. Good Omens on the other hand I have more complicated feelings towards, and at this point I am not sure how I feel about future series being made, with or without Gaiman's involvement.

I'm sorry if this post is a rambling mess, it has taken me a lot of time to build up to being able to share my thoughts, and while there is a lot more I could say I will stop here. But on a closing note, let's just be kind to each other. This situation is awful, lets not make it any worse. Give space for the victims, give space for the fans, and give space to people to continue to enjoy fandom spaces without making assumptions about where they stand on these allegations. It is a hard time, but things will get better, and these fandom spaces will continue to be a positive place for people to exist online. Lets keep it that way.