#was praying so hard this sunday morning LOL

[sunisalee2020]

Sunisa Lee (USA) Once again wins BRONZE medal on Uneven Bars at the Paris 2024 Olympic Games

[thefactsofthematter]

hello newsies tumblr! i’m back to post a scene i found in a random wip folder, from a fic that will probably never exist in full lol

please enjoy some sad canon era javid <3

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"...and I know we don't pray the same way, you and I, but your folks said you might not mind it if I sat with you and did this. Only one God, ain't there, so I figures we can ask Him for all the help we can get, every which way. Ain’t no harm in extra prayers."

That's Jack's voice.

David is awake, sort of, but too tired to open his eyes. His body is itchy, but he's too tired to scratch himself. His throat burns, so he doesn't dare try and speak.

He just lays there.

"This was my Ma's." He's placing something in David's hand. A string of beads, it feels like. "I should take the time to sit and pray it more often. She carried it everywhere. Only thing I've got left of her, really."

He wraps the beads around David's palm.

"You start at the bottom, see," Jack continues, as if he knows David's listening, "and you say a prayer for every bead. And you gotta have an intention, right— mine for today is that I'm asking God to get you better, 'cause you're starting to scare everyone, Dave, what with how you just keep getting sicker and the fever won't break. We can't go losing you anytime soon, so you've gotta get yourself better as soon as you can."

He's very sick, David realizes. That's why he can't move.

He's a bit scared.

But it's hard to stay scared for long with Jack Kelly holding your hand, so he starts to feel calm again.

"In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti," Jack murmurs.

David hadn’t realized Jack knew Latin. Wonders where he learned it, since he would've left school before the grades they started teaching it. He only went to school until he was eight— he told David that.

"Credo in Deum, Patrem omnipotentem, Creatorem caeli et terrae..."

Jack continues on in words that David's tired brain can't make sense of, but it's rhythmic and soothing. There's a cadence to it like Jack doesn't actually know what he's saying, has just memorized the sounds, probably at church— it's like how David felt about some Hebrew prayers when he was little, just echoing back what he heard others speak.

From bead to bead, Jack mumbles quiet prayers, and David finds himself, somewhere in his fever-addled brain, feeling quite charmed and grateful that Jack would show him this private, vulnerable side of himself. His faith is deeply personal to him, David knows— it's there in the way he never puts on his arrogant show towards the nuns, the way he's quick to take his cap off even on the steps of the church, the way he scrubs the littlest newsies into their very best shape on Saturday nights and drags them to mass on Sunday mornings. David loves to watch him in those short moments before he eats his dinner each day, lips moving silently as he gives thanks.

It's a softer side of Jack Kelly that often stays well-hidden, but makes itself very endearing when it peeks through.

"I think I might be praying for a miracle," Jack sighs, after a long time of quiet whispering, counting along the beads. His voice is a bit shaky now. "But they happens, you know. They said so in the good book. I know it's the very same God lookin' after you and I, and I know He loves you and won't take you away from us here on Earth, not just yet. Ain't your time."

And he takes the beads from David's palm, replacing them with his own hand. He intertwines their fingers and squeezes.

David tries to squeeze back. It's weak, pitiful, but enough for Jack to gasp.

"I knew it," he whispers. "Oh, I knew it, I knew it, Dave. You're there, ain't you? You're listening."

And David wishes he could give him anything more, but he can feel sleep creeping up on him again, so he lets it come. Not much else he can do, but it's nice to hear some hope in Jack's voice.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

i uh.. i’m sorta scared to request cus u feel like a celeb with how damn good your writing is😭 anywaysss a super sad soda oneshot would literally make my day please ahahaaa

Hi lovely! That's so sweet of you to say, thank you for your request. i hope this lives up to expectations lol, its based off this line from canon:

"The only noise was the nurse's soft footsteps and Soda's light breathing. Darry looked down at him and grinned half-heartedly. "He didn't get much sleep this week," he said softly. "He hardly slept at all." "Hhhmmmm," Soda said drowsily, "you didn't either.""

****************************

Sodapop had never much liked church.

He’d always had trouble sitting still, and when he was little spending two hours sitting still and listening to a sermon he could hardly understand was like torture. As he got older, sitting still never became any easier, now matter how hard he tried, and the leniency afforded to a squirming child wore thin once he was about eight. But church had been important to mom, and anything that was important to mom was important to dad too. Darry had hated church as much as he did, always too practical to put much faith in it.

“How am I supposed to not believe in Santa but believe there's a man in the sky watching over me?” Darry had asked dad one day when mom was in the kitchen making sandwiches for the church picnic. Dad had taken him and Darry aside then and explained that their thoughts were their own and they could think them all they wanted, but that church was about more than the preachers stories and prayers to God, that it was about community and helping people and learning to dress nice and act properly, so they would all have to keep going. That had sated Darry, ever the dutiful son, and he’d gone in good spirits and kept his disbelief to himself further such that mom and Ponyboy- who’d been fascinated by the stories ever since he could start to understand them- who believed in God wholeheartedly wouldn’t overhear him.

Soda hadn’t been too sure for a while whether he believed in God or not. He’d spent more time focusing on trying not to squirm too much under mom’s glare to puzzle out his thoughts on the universe, and when he was outside of church he was much more focused on fooling around town with Steve than he was thinking about God. He figured it best to leave such thinking to smart folks like Darry or deep folks like Ponyboy, or even pious folks like mom, than for someone dumb like him to think over it. Chances were, no matter how hard he tried to puzzle it out, he’d get it wrong. He tended to get a lot of things wrong. He’d gotten most of his math test wrong the week before, and he was already failing english. So yeah, better leave such thoughts to people who could actually figure it out. It didn’t matter anyway. He still went to church either way, still listened to mom’s scolding after each sermon, and then promptly washed his hands of the whole mess until the next sunday morning.

Then mom and dad had died and they’d stopped going to church. Well, he and Darry had. Pony still went, though whether it was because he still believed or because he felt closer to mom doing it Soda wasn’t sure and he hadn’t dared ask, not when Pony had been in such a fragile state, hardly speaking for months. Truth be told, it had scared him something awful. It had scared Darry too.

Still, much as he hadn’t liked church there were some things he remembered vividly. He remembered the hard bench under his knees when they knelt to pray. He remembered the times mom had dragged him to confession after he and Steve had done something particularly bad, and he remembered the stories. In particular, he remembered the stories of purgatory, of the inbetween, of waiting for heaven or hell, being stuck between salvation and damnation. Mom had always been terrified of purgatory, always abhorred the thought, seemed more averse to it than the idea of hell. Soda hadn’t understood. He’d rather be stuck between life and death than stuck in a pit of fire being tortured forever. When he’d said as much mom’s eyes had filled with shadows.

“Waiting can be it’s own kind of torture, dearest.”

He hadn’t understood then. For all his trouble sitting still, he’d still thought snakes and fire and pain had to be worse than waiting for something- even salvation.

Now though, he’s starting to understand. 

Ponyboy and Johnny have been missing for almost three days, and Sodapop is starting to lose his mind. Here he is, helpless, unable to do anything to find them, to help them, unable to do anything but wait. 

Per usual, mom was right. This is torture. 

He is not used to being unable to do something. Usually he does everything, anything, all the time. Together, he and Steve are a whirlwind, both unable to stop moving for more than a minute at a time, a wild, reckless, fun loving, unstoppable force. But he can’t find a kid brother who doesn’t want to be found, can’t search for a kid who left no clues- and even beating the shit out of Dallas hadn’t made the hood tell him where the kids went. Even though he knows Dally knows.

So all he can do is wait. Darry is in a similar state to him, unable to do anything and horrified by it, but Soda is still so mad at him he can hardly find it in himself to care. He knows Darry didn't mean to hit Ponyboy, just like he knows Pony didn’t mean to be late for curfew- but he still did it, and now Pony is missing. Their fourteen year old kid brother, who loves books and movies and doing dumb shit with Johnny, who is tough but not mean enough to properly defend himself, is missing. 

Shit. How did his life come to this? A year ago all his biggest worries were passing English and trying to get Sandy to go out with him. Now, he’s got dead parents and a missing kid brother and a girlfriend who's been so cagey recently he knows something is wrong even if she won’t tell him what.

Darry is in the recliner, reading the newspaper but he’s been reading it for the past three hours and hasn’t turned the page even once. Soda is on the couch, knee bouncing, not doing anything at all. The clock on the wall ticks methodically, mocking him. The face reads 12:37. This will be the third night Pony has been gone. Soda can’t help but wonder where he’s sleeping, if he’s warm enough, if he’s scared. His nightmares are bad enough when he’s home. What if he has one while he’s away? Sure, Johnny’ll take care of him, but he doesn’t know how, not really, not like Soda does. Johnny doesn’t know that Pony will need him to look away for a minute while he wipes his eyes, and then need to talk for a few minutes before he goes back to sleep. Johnny won’t know he needs someone to stroke his hair to calm him down, but that he’d never in a million years ask for it.

The clock ticks, the minute hand creeping closer and closer to the top of the clock. Soon, it will be once in the morning, just five hours before his opening shift at the DX. He should get some sleep, he knows, but he can’t face that room, that empty bed where his baby brother should be, safe and warm, not out somewhere in the cold. He can’t shut his eyes on the couch either, not when sleeping could mean missing the moment Ponyboy calls or walks through the door. So he sits, knee bouncing, and he waits, his other brother holding his own vigil in the armchair. They’re united in their terror, pulled apart by anger and remorse, and their salvation is a rusty haired kid running from a crime he didn’t commit, somewhere in the darkness.

Part of Soda is tempted to say that this, the waiting, is the worst thing ever, but then he remembers that after purgatory can be heaven, yes, but it can also be hell, and that is not something he is prepared for right now, or ever again. It was bad enough losing mom and dad. He’d rather spend forever waiting for Ponyboy to come back than to find out something terrible has happened to him.

Still, each second that passes is an eternity, and each minute an infinity without Ponyboy here with them, and the clock mocks him evermore as time passes and nothing happens.

“Do you think,” Darry clears his throat, looking the sort of young he only ever looks this late at night, when Ponyboy is asleep and the gang is gone and he can be Darry instead of Superman, “do you think he’s alright?”

Part of him wants to say nothing, to give him the coldness of silence until Pony is returned to them, to let him suffer for his hand in their brother’s disappearance, but Darry is all he has right now, the only other person on earth who understands, and Soda cannot bring himself to be that cruel.

“Yes.” He says instead, because Ponyboy has to be alright, and he cannot torture himself with thoughts of his personal hell when he is already being tormented living in this purgatory.

Darry nods and goes back to staring blankly at his newspaper. The clock reads 2:13 the next tim he deigns to speak.

“You should get some sleep, little buddy.”

“I can’t.” He tells him honestly, and Darry doesn’t fight him, too tired or too defeated or maybe just too guilty to even try. 

“Yeah,” Darry sighs, “me neither.”

They sit like that, trapped in purgatory, until the sun rises over the horizon. Eventually, Darry rises to go shower, Soda goes to start breakfast, and they begin the fourth day without Ponyboy.

The day passes much like the night, waiting, waiting, waiting.

Pony doesn’t call. He doesn’t come home. Dusk falls, and Soda and Darry take their places in the living room.

Purgatory continues.

They wait.

[serene-starss]

𝕽𝖊𝖘𝖙

Pairing: jutty Taylor & Tobias forge & GN reader & Cosmo sylvan

Warnings: sleep paralysis, nightmares, comfort lol. Requests are open!

Summary: reader recently joined the band and suffers from sleep paralysis, only a certain action can help them get out of it.

It’s 3:21 am on a Sunday night in London, the band had gotten home from the venue and was long past everyone’s showers and phone calls to their loved ones.

It was 3:21 am, on a Sunday night, in London, and there were 2 more hours untill everyone would wake up for the days activities.

5am. Wake up, get ready, pack

5:30am. Breakfast and boarding the bus

6am. Leave the hotel and go to next city or to the venue

It was the same thing every morning and honestly it was fine for you, simple schedules that didn’t make things harder. Currently it was the second week of tour and you were running on only 1 and a half hours of sleep a night.

Your sleeping issues plagued you ever hotel and bus…sleep paralysis taking over when the foggy mindset rested your eyes and relaxed your bones. Freezing like a statue, turning into a corpse and figures swarming you. Words and thoughts in your mind, nightmares that made you feel…real unreal things.

“Just take melatonin!” People suggested before you joined the band, but they didn’t know that it made it worse.

It wasn’t that you were mentally ill- oh no it sure wasn’t- it was just one of the things that stuck with you as you got older

When you first joined you had to give a contract to the manger as well as medical records and such that proved you were fit to be in the group. Now that the bands manager was Tobias, it was honestly more nerve wracking to hand over all your personal information to your future boss.

He didn’t really care, Tobias was a good person they didn’t judge others nevertheless what they were dealing with. It was really just to be sure you weren’t going to put yourself or others in danger on the tour or have condition like a tumor that kept you from flying.

Tobias never mentioned it again, he did ask what it was for you- you assumed it was so he wouldn’t freak out if you started doing some weird shit in the middle of the night.

You explained what it was and how it affected you, even sugaring it up to not sound so pitiful. After all, it was ghost, one of the best bands in your opinion. He was shocked when he heard you, he naturally asked what you do to help it and what he could do as a friend. You greatly admired his sense of friendship and care towards everyone, he really was a “tender father”.

“Sometimes it helps bring me back to this sort of world by tapping or rubbing my limb or back in a rhythm I know that I can focus on.” You say, “it helps me focus on what’s real.”

After that, you shook hands and joined the band. Months later and many practices after you started tour.

You had put up with the terrors every night so far, by not going to sleep or very…very…embarrassingly petting a small shark plushie you had since you were a child. It was embarrassing but it was better than sobbing more than usual to sleep.

Another thing, you literally cried every night due to them. Rather it be in the terrors or after and before, you tried to muffle it to not wake up whoever you were sharing a hard hotel bed with or whoever was around your bunk on the bus.

But this night, it was worse…perhaps from bottling it all up and the lack of sleep wrecking your corpse feeling form.

3:36 in the morning, and it’s hard to contain sobs as you can’t move your arms or mouth. Holding breath…only makes the gasp for air after louder each time. You can feel the bed shaking and you pray to everything that exists that the guy beside you doesn’t wake up.

Now that you think about it, you forgot who was paired with you, it swapped every night. You couldn’t care who slept with you, the fact that it wasn’t even gender based told you enough that everyone trusted each other life family to not get freaky in the middle of the night.

In your peripherals you see jutty soundly asleep, “of all nights….” You think as he softly snores with his mouth agape.

He was the lightest sleeper in the group, of all night…and to think the most energetic guy on stage was the hardest sleeper baffled you.

They all had traits of sleep, not that you watched, it’s just being up all night you had nothing else to do but notice their presence.

Jutty, light sleeper and sometimes talks.

Per, sleeps like a log and doesn’t move once, he also sleeps with a hoodie on including the hood and thick pajama pants.

Randy, didn’t know what sharing leg room was.

Cosmo, he also must’ve forgotten that there was only one blanket.

Hayden, snores like the devil…

The girls? They all were perfect to share a bed with!

Tobias? He went to bed three hours after the unassigned assigned curfew and often passed out from the amount of melatonin he takes but is up an hour before alarms dressed for breakfast with a smile.

Whatever luck had gotten light sleeper boy in this bed obviously hated you.

More tears soaked into the pillows on your side, and when you finally got out of it you quickly gasped and rolled over facing the wall.

“Shit…” you hope it didn’t wake him up, you softly sniffle, broken cries muffled by your hands and T shirt.

“Are you alright?” A soft and groggy voice says quietly as a hand sets on your shoulder.

With a slight jump, you pretend to be asleep.

“Dude…I know your awake?” He says a little dramatically.

His hand softly rubs your back as he notices the tear stains on the pillows, “everything…alright?” He asks again

You sniffle, giving away more that you were crying, “I’m ok.”

“Why are you crying?” He whispers, he doesn’t sound nosey but genuinely concerned.

“Uhm…” you sigh, “just uh, I have sleep paralysis…”

He makes a knowing sound, “ohh, I’m sorry jack,” he pats your shoulder

“You can go back to sleep…” you say awkwardly,

“Do you need anything? Water? Crackers? Fresh air?” He asks a little worried

“No I just..” you sigh, giving up on not worrying him, “I just sometimes need help getting out of it.”

Jutty is too kind of a person to not care, being mean to each other was the popular sarcastic humor but his personality always shined through.

“How do you do that?” He asks curiously

You tell him about the tapping back you do, and explain how focusing on a rhythm helps.

“Oh…well….i get that, I’ll try if you have it again. Wake me up if you have it again.” He says sweetly

Besides the fact the whole point was that you couldn’t move, you nodded with a smile.

The next day, everyone exhaustedly climbs into their bunks as they get back from dinner.

After a few hours of sitting in the couched area of the bus as it departs, you head to your bunk. You knew you needed to turn off your work laptop, to not wake others with the light as Tobias himself headed to his bunk. You kept yourself busy every night with school, trying to finish an online course for your own education.

Hours later, you are stuck in another possession moment.

Can’t move.

Can’t speak.

Can’t communicate.

Can barely think…

This one’s worse than the previous one, this time the things in your nightmare are even more realistic. You want to be awake. You are awake. You are aware. But you can’t do anything to protect yourself. In this moment you need someone to wake you, you need someone to help you out of this hell.

And suddenly there is a tap on your shoulder, it feels- tap tap, tap tap tap tap, tap tap, tap tap tap a soft stroke of a tune that you can feel. Noticing it as the bass line for absolution.

You focus, on whoever was helping you as you stared into the top of the bunk.

After a minute and a half you escape the hellish realm you were stuck in and rub your eyes. Your breathing shutters as you struggle for air.

“Are you out?” Cosmos tiered voice says across from you, his hand still on your arm.

“Cosmo?” You roll over, “how did you know, to do that?” Your croaking exhausted voice asks

“Jutty told me and per at dinner, I don’t think he meant too,” he says as he props himself on an elbow.

“Oh, that’s alright…I suppose it’s helpful…” you say

“Sorry you have to deal with that,” Cosmo said again, “perhaps listening to something to sleep will help?” He suggests

“Maybe, but thank you, I’ll try it.” You say softly as he retracts his arm from across the narrow bus hallway.

“Get some rest.”

[alj4890]

Your mission, if you choose to accept it! :)

I'm sending a GIF to everyone who has participated in Tobias Carrick Appreciation Week this year. Can you create a ficlet (or anything you desire) based on this by Sunday? If so, you'll get one extra chance at the prize to be selected on Monday! :)

Here is your GIF: (Let's pretend this is Chris! lol)

LOL! Okay, I laughed way too hard when I saw this gif and imagined Chris and Tobias having this conversation. This isn't part of any of my AU's (but could possibly become one). Going back to book 3 for this one. I couldn't resist doing this one for the week.

Masterlist

Oops

Chris moaned as she rolled over in bed. Her stomach gurgled, reminding her that it wasn't happy at all with the grilled cheese sandwich she ate late the night before. Clutching it while silently praying for all to calm down, she gave up the fight and dashed to the bathroom.

"Oh god." She choked as the contents of her stomach burst forth.

A sleepy Sienna came to check on her.

"You okay?" She wet a rag and handed it to Chris.

Chris shook her head and curled up in the fetal position on the tile floor.

Sienna sat down next to her, gently repositioning the rag at the back of Chris's neck.

"Thanks." Chris croaked. "You're really good at taking care of people."

She tried to smile at her sweet, best friend.

"You ought to look into making a career out of that."

Sienna chuckled, drawing her knees up and setting her chin on them.

"I'll look into that in the morning. For now, let's figure out what's going on with you."

Chris shrugged and immediately regretted moving. "Probably food poisoning."

"I would agree, but you've started doing this on a regular basis the last couple of weeks. Food poisoning usually lasts about two days. Rare cases go on for longer."

Chris paled some. "Maybe I have a rare one or a stomach virus."

Sienna shook her head. "But you aren't staying sick. Once six in the morning rolls around, you're fine."

Chris shivered as a niggling thought came to mind.

Could I be pregnant?

Sienna placed her hand upon Chris's forehead.

"No fever." She muttered, knowing they should consider something bigger than a virus. "Chris?"

"I know, I'm thinking it too." She closed her eyes.

"You want me to run out and buy a test?" Sienna asked.

"No." Chris sat up. "I'll get one after work."

Sienna wrapped her in a hug.

Chris began to tear up as she held tight to her.

How am I going to tell him, she wondered.

******************

Chris walked into the diagnostics office and nodded a brief greeting to the team.

"Morning." She managed to get out.

"Good morning." Harper greeted. "I stopped off at a bakery on the way in."

She held a box of doughnuts towards her. "Would you like one?"

Chris swallowed against the bile rising up. The smell of the jelly filled ones was sickeningly sweet. Shaking her head weakly, she took a seat at the far end of the table.

"No thank you." She mumbled.

"You're missing out, Chris." Tobias picked another one from the box. "These are some of the best doughnuts I've had in a while."

Ethan paused in choosing a case when he noticed the green tinge coloring Chris's pale skin.

"Are you all right?" He asked.

Harper and Tobias turned back towards Chris in concern.

She pressed her hand to her mouth and dashed out of the room.

The trio watched her run into the bathroom.

"I'll go check on her." Harper followed her out.

*****************

A few hours later, Chris was finishing up some paper work. She was grateful the office was empty. Harper had a scheduled surgery while Ethan and Tobias were making their rounds.

She wasn't up to any more questions concerning the reasons for her nausea.

Her thoughts drifted back to Hawaii. Ines's wedding trip had been the surprising start of Chris's current state. A lot of things began that fateful trip that had surprised her.

One in particular was the doctor who'd volunteered to leave the airport and come along with her to stop a patient from leaving Edenbrook with a ruptured appendix.

******************

Two months earlier...

"I'll go with you." Tobias offered.

Chris stared at him. "You will?"

"Yeah. I don't mind taking a later flight." He grinned at her.

The two ran out of the airport, jumped in the first taxi they saw, and somehow managed to arrive at Edenbrook right as Chris's patient was walking out of the lobby.

After running some more tests, Chris's theory that his appendix was in a different spot of his body, and heavily inflamed, was proven to be right.

"Wow." Tobias leaned closer to study the ct scan. "That was an amazing catch."

"I'm lucky." She folded her arms. "He could have left here and ended up worse than before, possibly dying before someone else discovered his appendix wasn't in the usual spot."

In thanks for saving him, the patient offered his private plane to fly them to Hawaii.

"I'm always coming with you when you have patients." Tobias teased her. "If you're going to get me perks like this, I'm going to be your partner on all your cases."

Chris laughed as she settled next to him.

"If the positions were reversed, I'd tell you the same thing." She said.

Once they were free to move about the cabin, Tobias tugged her out of her seat.

"Let's see what multimillionaires decide are needed for travel."

Chris eagerly went along with him to see all the amenities the plane offered. After being in awe of the theater, the pair stumbled into a private bedroom.

"Want to try it out?" Tobias asked.

He stretched out on the bed and patted the spot next to him.

Chris fought back a smile. "I don't know. Can you be trusted?"

"In bed?" He winked at her. "If you want to have a very good time, then yeah."

She rolled her eyes, her smile flashing over his cockiness.

"Look, I understand if you think you won't be able to keep your hands to yourself." He teased."

"Ha. Ha." Chris climbed into the bed with him. "You wish I'd let my hands wander."

"I mean, I wouldn't say no to some hand action." He snickered when she playfully pushed him.

"You're horrible, you know that?" She laughed when he gasped dramatically.

"And besides," she turned on her side to face him. "I don't touch anyone without kissing them first."

Tobias rolled on his side to look at her. "I wouldn't say no to that either. In fact, I think it might be pretty good."

"Come on." Chris began to laugh. "Do you really expect me to believe you've thought about us kissing."

"Yeah, I do." His eyes flickered down to her mouth before returning to her startled gaze. "Don't you feel it?"

"The sexual tension?" She whispered.

He nodded.

"I do." She bit down on her bottom lip.

"You shouldn't do that." He cupped her face, gently tugging her lip free with his thumb.

"Why shouldn't I?" She placed her hand over his.

"Because then, it'll have to be soothed." He murmured, pressing a tender kiss to her lips.

He took her bottom lip between his and gently sucked on it.

Chris moaned. She pulled him closer, kissing him again and again.

Their heavy make out session turned more intense. Whispering encouragement to one another so the flight attendants wouldn't overhear, they managed to get undressed and slipped under the covers.

Their bodies writhed in ecstasy with each pleasurable sensation the other caused. They couldn't seem to get enough of the other, as they found themselves making love the entire flight over.

When they landed, Tobias asked Chris if she'd like to be his date at the wedding.

"I think we could have a great time." He winked at her.

Blushing some at the way he looked at her, she readily agreed.

****************

The rest of the trip and once they got back had been filled with such moments as those on the plane. Chris and Tobias began a relationship of sorts. They met up whenever they could and things typically ended with them back at his place for sex.

"I've got to get a test." She said to the empty room.

Realizing she couldn't put it off any longer, she headed to the lab.

****************

A couple of hours later...

"Hey." Tobias walked into the diagnostics office. "You paged me?"

Chris clasped her hands in front of her and tried to think of how to break the news to him.

Noticing how pale she was, he reached out and cupped her cheek.

"You okay?" He asked, his eyes narrowed in concern.

"Yes." She swallowed. "I mean, no. Not really."

His eyebrow lifted.

"I'm pregnant." She blurted out.

He stilled, his hand dropping from her face.

"What?" He asked in disbelief.

"I'm pregnant." She said once more. "Seven weeks to be exact."

"Seven." He repeated.

Chris knew he was quickly calculating how long they'd been together.

"We used protection." He reminded her.

"And it was ineffective."

Tobias shook his head. "Condoms don't break."

Chris couldn't believe what she was hearing.. "What?"

"They don't break." He repeated. "Birth control pills can fail easily but condoms are--"

"Hang on!" Chris held her hand up to make him stop talking so stupidly. "Are you, a well respected doctor, seriously telling me that condoms are full proof? A man made product, never fails?"

Tobias knew they failed. He was merely in a state of shock and panic. Fatherhood never came to mind when he thought about his future. And now, here was a woman, one he was truly interested in progressing their relationship, dropping a massive life changing bomb on him.

He fell into one of the office chairs as the realization struck.

"Holy hell." He muttered.

"That's more like it." Chris sat down across from him.

After a few minutes of silence, he reached over and took her hand in his.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

Tears filled her eyes. "I'm shocked. Scared. I was terrified of telling you."

She sniffed, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "I always wanted children, but I thought it would be years after I became a doctor."

He nodded, lowering his eyes to her hand in his.

"You know I'll support you, however much you want me to." He promised.

"Do you want this baby?" She asked, bracing herself for the truth.

"I honestly don't know." He admitted. "It's not like I don't want it, I just never thought of ever having one."

"I understand." She mumbled.

"Hey." He pulled her over until she was sitting in his lap. "Just because I'm in shock, doesn't mean I won't step up and try and be a good father if you decide to have this baby."

He rested his forehead against hers, cuddling her close.

"I think I do want this baby." She said softly. "I'm terrified to do this alone, but if you see you can't do it, I'll understand."

"You won't be alone." He vowed. "Whatever else happens between us," he gently put his hand on her stomach, "this will always have us as a team."

Chris wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. He hugged her back then simply held her while each became lost in thought.

She rested her head on his shoulder in relief that this part was over. Though the future was still unclear, she at least felt more confident in moving forward.

"What should we do?" She whispered.

"I'm thinking lunch." He grinned when she snorted on a surprised laugh. "Then I think you and I should have dinner tonight."

"You do?"

He nodded. "We're still getting to know each other. I think we should spend as much time as we can to become even closer."

She sat up, looking into his eyes.

Could we possibly fall in love, she wondered.

As if reading her thoughts, he pressed a tender kiss to her mouth.

"Would you like to go out with me?" He asked.

She nodded.

He kissed her again. "Then I'll meet you in the locker room later tonight."

They got up with him heading to the door. He paused and looked back at her over his shoulder. He noticed the calm yet somewhat sad expression on her face. He felt a deep need to remove whatever was making her look like that.

"Hey Chris?"

"Hmm?"

"Just in case you don't know, I am pretty crazy about you."

Her head jerked up with her lips parting in surprise. A slight blush graced her cheeks. Hearing him say something like that in his deep voice gave her hope.

Maybe we will fall in love.

With his goal being accomplished, he left to finish his rounds.

[vroomvroommbtch]

Car’s outside - DR x fem!OC

Masterlist

Summary: They hated the distance more than anything in the world, so they finally get to do something about it. 

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x fem!OC

Warnings:  Fluff af and language bc idk how to write without swearing.

Word count: 3.9k

A/N: Did I spend my whole Saturday writing this? Yes. Was ROC an inspiration somehow? Maybe. I’m obsessed with writing 2018 Dan and Jas? Absolutely. The fact that I finished this is a miracle?? Yes sir. Anyway, hi kids! This one its kind of short but cute af so I hope you like it. I love this two together bc they’re the most wholesome couple in the world. Whatever, hope u like it and let’s pray I get to post again soon lol Let me know what you think?? See ya soon!  ♥️✌🏻

---

Car’s outside.

-

July 2018.

London was gloomy. It was yet another grey day waiting for the rain to fall at any given time, but Jas knew what made it even more grey and sad was Daniel’s bags right by the door, waiting for him to grab them and leave. He was going to leave the next morning because he needed to be in Germany for yet another race, which meant just being able to see him through the screen of her phone. It meant no kissing, no touching, no hugging and just thinking about it made Jas feel uneasy.

After almost one month of blissful kind of domestic life, letting each other go for two weeks sounded insane. Damn, it wasn’t even two whole weeks because she was gonna be in Hungary for the last race of the first part of the calendar. She was gonna be there by his side ready to go on vacations with Daniel as soon as his job was done, but it felt awful even if they were going to be two hours' flight from each other. Two hours flight and nine days apart and she was gonna be back in his arms. Nine pathetic long days to be back in her favorite place in the world. To think about that was what made it bearable.

After six months of relationship, Jas was still not used to letting him go. None of them were used to letting each other go. Even if Daniel was used to not spending much time with his family and friends, he was always telling Jas how difficult it was for him too. ‘I just fucking hate letting you go’ was what he said time after time as they covered each other in kisses. There was no better way to describe it, that’s why during that grey night Jas hugged him a bit tighter, trying to not wake him up in the process. His idea of watching a movie turned into Daniel falling asleep half an hour into whatever random movie he picked up. Then that turned into Jas ignoring the movie and putting her focus on her boyfriend. His face was hiding in the crock of her neck, slow breaths hitting her skin and messy curls tickling her. Even when it was the middle of the goddamn summer and outside it was warm and humid, all she wanted was to stay like that forever, with Daniel using her as his pillow. All she wanted was to make the night longer so Tuesday wouldn’t come.

They both knew how things were and that at some point they always had to say goodbye, but this time was especially hard. Everything was a rollercoaster since Monaco. After their love confession that Sunday everything clearly was different. After that day everything was somehow way more intense, that included the sadness of flying back home to Dublin when Daniel had to go to Canada. She hated it. She hated having to kiss him goodbye and the ‘See you again soon’ promise. She hated those long farewell hugs knowing she couldn’t stay there forever. She hated the feeling inside her chest because her whole body was yelling for her to drop everything and stay. After all, that was the right thing to do. But she had to ignore it, take a deep breath, push the knot in her throat to a side all to whisper a shy ‘I love you’ with a sad smile on her face.

But his week in Canada felt somehow short. The nights were terrible and felt eternal, but the afternoons weren’t that bad and the next thing she knew Jas was on her way to the airport to pick Daniel up. After that, they didn’t move from each other’s side. They went from Dublin to France, not just for the race but also to spend her birthday there. After that they went to Austria and thank God she was there not only for his birthday but also to do everything in her power to calm him down after that terrible DNF on Sunday. After that, they went to the UK and that’s where they had been since then.

It was weeks of waking up and going to bed by his side. It was weeks of not being able to bathe alone because Daniel would sneak in the shower with her every single time. It was weeks of waking up with Daniel between her legs or covering her body with kisses and doing the same for him. It was weeks of giggling as they reminded each other to not be so loud because they were in a hotel room, and someone would complain about the noise. Then it was days of almost a normal life in London. It was days of doing the most normal things a couple could do. It was days of making dinner, grocery shopping, getting a text from Daniel saying ‘I’m on my way home’ and knowing he was not talking about a place but about her. It was weeks of being home simply because they were together, not caring about the country they were in.

After all that she didn’t want to move from his side, but she needed to go back home, and Daniel needed to go to Germany, but all that could wait till the next day. She even wanted to leave dinner for a bit later if that included not moving from her place. They were perfectly fitted together on the couch, and she was so comfortable that moving felt like a tragedy. Moving from there left wrong, but she didn’t have much of an option. All she could do was wish time would freeze for a while, but it was nothing but impossible.

“Baby...” Jas called him as softly as possible, running her fingers around his back under his shirt and tangling her other hand in his messy curls. But just like she imagined, all she got in response was a soft groan coming from her boyfriend, which didn’t surprise her at all. “Danny, baby, c'mon, you gotta get up. I gotta go make dinner” she insisted as she kissed his forehead.

If something always worked with sleepy Daniel was the threat of Jas leaving his side. She couldn’t blame him because every time she would do the same. Every time one of them would be asleep, if the other threatened with leaving, they would automatically react. This time wasn’t different. This time, with the threat of Jas leaving his side, Daniel tightened his grip around her waist, making his statement very clear. “Don’t” was all he said, voice so sleepy and raspy that it did nothing but give Jas another reason to stay.

“Can you look at me, sunshine?” Jas asked gently, kissing his forehead once more. And true to his promise of making all her wishes come true, Daniel looked at her. With the sleepiest face and through half-opened eyelids, Daniel moved out of his little shelter and looked at her. And fuck, how she loved him and his handsome face. She could spend hours just looking at him and kissing every inch of his face. She could stay there the whole night kissing those perfect lips and looking at his brown eyes. All that and his contiguous smile and his crazy curls and that tanned skin were her perdition, so she had to do a big effort to focus and talk again. “Dia duit, grà“

“I’ve no idea what the fuck you just said but it sounded sexy” Daniel murmured, running his nose against hers as he slowly moved one of his hands to her ass, just to rest it here as he would normally do.

And like every single time, Jas would smile and steal one kiss as she moved impossibly close to him because it was never enough when it comes to being near Daniel. “Weren't’ you asleep?” she wondered as his fingers slowly moved around her skin. Not that she couldn’t blame him when she was wearing nothing but panties and one of his shirts.  

“Yeah, but my sexy girlfriend woke me up” he smirked, knocking the air out of her lungs like every time he did that. Daniel’s smile could convince her of absolutely everything, so she could imagine how that night was gonna end.

“Excuse me, you're the one who abandoned me in the middle of the movie. You’re very lucky you’re handsome and I love you very much” Jas joked, poking his ribs as she tried to sound as serious as possible. She was the one who normally would fall asleep in his arms so she would never blame him for such a thing. Nothing would make her feel better than to know that Daniel could get some rest from to time after such a complicated year, so he could sleep all she wanted. The only problem was when she wouldn’t be able to leave the couch without waking him up because he decided to turn into a human version of a koala.

“Sorry ‘bout that, princess” he murmured, moving his fingers through the elastic of her panties as he kissed his way back to her neck. “I can pay you back for the inconvenient”

It took everything from her to not follow his lead. It took everything to not beg Daniel to fuck her right then and there on the couch as they would normally do. It took even more of her to ignore the way he was getting hard against her leg and especially to not move her hip against him. There was  nothing she wanted more than to ride him until the only thing Daniel could remember was her name, but she had to be a grown-up woman and be responsible. She needed to be a grown-up woman even when Daniel was doing his best effort to change her mind with kisses, some gentle bites, and licks on her skin while grabbing handfuls of her ass.

“Later. Now I got shit to do, beauty. Gotta go make dinner” she breathed, biting her tongue as she kept to herself the moan that was threatening to leave her mouth when Daniel kissed the weak spot on her neck.  

“Later”. Another bite, another lick, another kiss, another push of their hips together.

It was terribly hard to resist.

“C’mon, sunshine, I gotta feed you. Mike ain’t here to do the dirty job and if I don’t put food in your body, he’ll kill me, and you’ll get hungry and grumpy” Jas insisted, moving her free hand from his back to his chest to rest it there. Having her hand under his shirt wasn’t going to help much to the situation, but she just couldn’t help it.

“We can order. Besides, you’re the one who gets grumpy when you’re hungry”  

He knew her well. He knew her too damn well. Six months together and Daniel already knew her like the back of his hand. He knew she would get grumpy if she was hungry, he knew how to put a smile on her face even on the worse days, the way to make her fall asleep when it seemed impossible, how to make her moan as any other man could ever do, how to convince her to stop being mad at him even when she could never really get mad at him. Daniel knew all the weak points on her body to make her beg for more and to leave her breathless. But beyond all, Daniel could make her smile brighter and bigger than anyone in the whole world. He knew the way to her heart better than anyone else in the world and that’s why it belonged to him.

But Jas knew Daniel as well as he knew her, that’s why she couldn’t help but smile when he said those words. “You’re the one who complains every time we order something! You’re the one who says my food's better”

“Cause your food’s always better” he affirmed, and Jas could feel his smile against her skin. No matter where they ordered, no matter to which amazing restaurant they went, Daniel would always somehow smile and say ‘It was alright, but I like your food better’. Jas would always joke and say there was no need to lie to her to get laid that night, but she knew Daniel wasn’t joking. Jas was no chef, she was far from that, but unlike her sister, Jas paid attention to the kitchen lessons Aoife and Esmé gave her during her life. What she did was nothing but basic meals, but Daniel said time after time that he loved it. It took a late-night talk over a couple of glasses of wine for Daniel to admit he loved it simply because it tasted like home. After leaving home so young, after being away from Perth for so much time, and especially after being on the road that much, homemade food was something that he could have counted times, so having that thanks to Jas were like a little privilege for him. That’s why Jas tried to cook as much as possible for him when they were together, even when she was too lazy and order sounded like the best option.

“Then let me go and make you some. It’ll be fast. You can keep napping meanwhile. Plus, I ain’t gonna put on my shorts so you can look at my ass while I go” Jas insisted. But when she felt Daniel’s arms going back to her waist to hug her as tightly as possible, and when his lips just gave her one last kiss and then stayed there, she knew there was something else. “What’s going on, baby?”

It took him a second to talk. She could feel his body against her taking a deep breath, she could feel his breath hitting her neck as it left his lips, but more than anything she could feel the doubt in his body. It was hard to think he was the same guy who drove the fastest car in the world. It was crazy to think he was the one who loved to get scared once in a while just because. But Jas knew that guy was also her Danny. Sometimes it was incomprehensible to think that man on the tv was the same man she loved. He was the same Danny that would come to her in the good days and when the world felt too much and when he didn’t want to see anyone else. That was the same Daniel that Jas could feel was doubting and trying to pick the right words to say to his girlfriend. And knowing him the way she did, Jas just waited. She kissed his shoulder, traced lines on his back, and played with his curls as she waited for him to find the right way to say whatever he needed to say. If he needed time, she had all the time in the world for him. And if that wasn’t enough, she was ready to somehow invent more time for him.

“I just don’t want you to go. Not even to the kitchen for five minutes”

There was the issue.

It happened once in a while. Normally, it happened every time they had to let each other go. They knew it was a normal reaction knowing they will have to be away for more time than they will like to. Normally it was Jas the one who had to be reminded that everything was gonna be alright. Generally, it was Daniel the one who had to hold her and promise things were gonna be fine, but sometimes it was the other way around. Sometimes, like that night, Jas was the one who had to be the strong one and make the promises even when her own heart was breaking just for hearing him.

“Baby, we talked about it. Now it's just nine silly days, but then we’ll figure out the rest after the summer break. Y’know I’m not going anywhere” she stated, repeating the same promise they also made at least once a week. Their little ‘I’m not going anywhere’ was something normal. It was a reminder. It was their promise to each other. It was one of the things that kept them going on the worst days.

“I know” Daniel nodded, kissing her one last time her neck as he moved to his previous place, finally looking at her face. “I just wish you could come with me”

“I don’t want you to go but it’s work, love. It's your job”

“I know that too, J, but I miss you. And it’s selfish but I want you around. I need you around, princess” he confessed, moving his right hand out of her waist to look for her hand.

“I miss you too, you hear me? I miss you every single day that you’re not around. It sucks when we’re not together” she murmured, getting close to giving him a long, sweet, loving kiss. But even when their kiss was over, Jas didn’t move. She stayed right there in her place with their lips touching. “I love you so fucking much that it kills me when you’re away. I spend the days counting the minutes till I can see your handsome face again, y’know? That’s how crazy I am for you”

“Then come with me, baby. And not just the next two races, come with me the rest of the year, baby”. They talked about it too. They talked about Jas joining him, but somehow, they ended up agreeing on talking about it at some point in the future. The excuse was them wanting to go slow and how she was supposed to be helping in Aoife’s flower shop until Jas figure out what she wanted to do next, but truth was, she was nothing but scared. She was so in love with Daniel that it was terrifying and the fact that Daniel was in love with her was also scary. So far that one was the most wonderful relationship she ever had so she was terrified of ruining it by going with him to every single race. The idea of ruining it in any way just petrified her, but she knew she couldn’t keep postponing their happiness out of fear. She couldn’t do it when Daniel needed her. The emotional rollercoaster of leaving Redbull was coming, and Daniel needed his people around him, which included Jas in one of the first positions. She couldn’t postpone it when she needed him too. “I know what you think and you’re not gonna be a burden, J. You could never be one”

That was also one of the things that were stopping Jas. Joining Daniel mean leaving her job -even if it was with her mom and if it was temporary-, and it also mean depending on him until she could find a job that would allow her to travel. She knew money wasn’t a problem, Daniel was the one paying for her plane tickets, and he would give her a look if she would ever try paying for anything, but she didn’t want to be that kind of girl. She didn’t want people to think she was there for the money, she didn’t want his family and friends to think she was there for it. She didn’t even touch the extension of his card he gave her weeks ago, too scared to give that step. She didn’t want to be a burden in his life when he had already too many things on his mind, so she just gave excuses, but clearly, that was the end of it.

“Danny, I-“ she tried to interrupt, but he cut her with another kiss before he kept talking.

“We can talk about that later, but it’s not important” he insisted, bringing their joined hands together to his lips to kiss her knuckles. “I need you by my side, baby. This year’s been fucking crazy and I don’t think I’m ready to live the rest of it without you. And I know I’m asking for a lot, but can you at least think about it?”

Everyone told her to go slow. Everyone told her to take a deep breath and a firm step on her decision when it came to her relationship with Daniel. It wasn’t that her family or friends didn’t like Daniel, in fact, they adore him, but they also knew Jas. They could see how everything was going fast and the last thing anyone wanted was to see her getting hurt. Not that they thought Daniel would do something to hurt her, but the nature of their relationship was complicated. Distance was hard, his job was complicated and what came with it was even more tricky, so the advice everyone would give her was to think about her choices and not jump into it. That would be the advice she would give to her friend or her sister, but everything was out of the window when it came to Daniel. In the heart vs heart fight, her heart would always win and this time it wasn’t different. This time she could even hear her family and friends asking what the hell was she doing, saying how she was insane, and even checking twice if she was sure about her choice. She could hear her mom and dad talking and telling her to not put her life aside for him, but the second she saw Daniel’s eyes everything else disappeared.

There was nothing else besides his big brown eyes looking at her, shining full of love. There was nothing like their joined hands against his chest and how she could feel his heart beating. There was nothing as the expectation written all over his face as he waited for her answer. But beyond all, there was nothing like the way he made her feel. There was nothing as the love, happiness, and safety she felt by his side, so even if everything could go terribly wrong, she decided to take a leap of faith, hoping everything would turn out just fine.

“Alright, I’m coming. But you paying everything’s temporary, you hear me? I don’t want you to-“. But before Jas could even finish what she was saying, she got interrupted again by Daniel’s lips against her. But this time it wasn’t just him kissing her mouth, this time it was kissing all around her face and neck, all while he whispered ‘Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!’ again and again and again. “You’re welcome, but I’m serious, Dan!”

“Money is something that comes with the job and since I earned it I can spend it on whatever I want, alright? That includes bringing my girl with me. There’s no better what to spend it” he smiled, giving Jas his best smile, which normally would convince her of anything on a normal day.

And maybe another day he could convince her, but that night she wasn’t giving up, so she pointed to him with one finger as she talked firmly. “Temporary, okay?”

“Whatever makes you happy, babe” he nodded, kissing her fingertip as he kept smiling.

If he was happy then it was worth the pain.

“That’s what I like to hear. Now as a payback, you can start ordering food and taking your clothes off” she teased, but like every time, for Daniel her wishes were his command.

And if Daniel was happy, Jas was happy too, so it was more than worth the pain.    

---

Taglist

@amsofftrack​ @d0ntjudgemy50shades​ @a-distantdreamer​ @honeybadgercomeback​

[reynanghugot]

I closed out July and started August with a roller coaster of emotions. As you all know, I've been struggling with my current health situation, but I did not let it ruin my day.

I ended my third-year second semester [July 29] with a bang by passing our final research defense with flying colors. [If you're following me on Instagram, you were able to see the snap of that in my story.]

I was admitted the following Sunday [July 30] for my RAI therapy the next day, Monday [July 31].

The first night of my therapy was fine. Apparently, I woke up on Tuesday. [August 1] with a swollen neck, no voice, a dry throat, and total pain. I spent the first half of my day in a hospital bed and just had my lunch late because I felt nauseous, but despite that, I was able to manage to schedule some Instagram posts and launch my first one. [big thanks to @/kindclouds for all the help.]

I had the same feeling when I woke up on Wednesday, and I'm a bit irritated already because I am having a hard time pulling myself out of bed and taking a bath [as it's a requirement to take a bath at least twice a day to wash off the radiation] but at the same time praying that my radiation will go down to at least 3 or 2.5 in order for me to get the full body scan the same day. After I took a bath, the nuclear medicine technician called me for the radiation exam, and viola! I'm at 3, and I got my body scanned that day, which took around 40 minutes to an hour. I had a good nap too while she was doing the scan, lol! I didn't do anything the whole day after that, as I still felt nauseous. I had my devotional prayer before I went to bed and had a good cry, asking for more help, peace of mind, and to be discharged the next day.

Thursday, I woke up with the same side effect but was hoping that there would be another good news to follow once my doctor visited me early that morning, and an answered prayer indeed, I was informed that I'm truly ready to be discharged that day too. So I messaged my mom and asked her to go to the nurse station asap and process my billing and everything, as I can't go outside of my room yet.

I'm so nervous to death about my bill because I am expecting to cash out for my room and board, but the universe really loves me because I didn't pay anything for the whole procedure because of my HMO, PWD, and PH. I didn't expect that at all as my coverage is not that big and I don't have a 100+k to cash out at all. It was such a relief. [and the funny part was that mom cried first before she went back to the nurse station to forward the discharge stab or something from the billing department.]

That's my latest chika for now. I hope everything goes well in the next few days. I might not be allowed to go out until Monday, especially if it's crowded, but I'm glad I am home, and I hope that the scan will be all cleared and there will be no other hospital staycations in the next few months. Praying for my fast recovery in order for me to go back on track. There is still a lot on my plate for both academics and a new industry that I would like to enter. Happy Friday, Tumblr!

[aspartaime]

I'm in a mood tonight so if anyone who i have ever known see this, let's read further. This is truly so stream of conscious. It's just a general life update.

CW: drug use, mental health themes, emotional?? idk it was to me, SA

My friends on this site, I know we've been out of contact for years. I have been in a season of life where I am extremely sentimental. I look back on my friends I made here/friends I have IRL that also followed me here, and it makes my heart swell.

I was going through some severe mental issues when I was on Tumblr regularly. I've since pinned it down to "being a chronically online, easily influence teenager". There were a lot of things either glorified, justified, and normalized on Tumblr that messed up my nerf ball brain. I was not a great friend because of it. I realize in hindsight as an adult whose brain is less nerf-bally that the lot of you who cared about me must have really cared about me to stick with me through that shit show. This is my formal apology in the least direct or awkward way for my behavior. Know that I love you all and pray your lives are full of home cooked meals and laughter and peaceful Sunday mornings.

Since my PTSD diagnosis I have done a lot of making sense of old memories. My life from age 13 through age 17 is such a blur. My girlfriend doesn't know what to say when I bring it up. You all would love my girlfriend, by the way. We live together now. She's the light of my life. She makes things worth remembering again.

I finally stopped acting like a doormat. My constant need for validation that I experienced in my youth has become a mildly nihilistic disposition. But like, the cool nihilism, where nothing matters so everything is super chill. I realized it doesn't matter if I don't like someone or someone doesn't like me, we all have different preferences and needs and all. I dunno. It's kind of nice to be free of clingy baby hell. I'm attributing that to the PTSD diagnosis as well.

I got into weed. This is not a surprise to anyone who have ever had a conversation with me, I'm sure. I started smoking to take the nightmares away. Then it became just a normal part of my day. I don't abuse it though. I just find that it helps keep my head quiet.

I got in a lot of fights along the way. It's kind of funny. This last fight was really my tipping point into my "go-with-the-flow" phase. Given it was the third (or possibly even fourth? PTSD makes it difficult to care about keeping track) I was sexually assaulted, I just had to make a decision then and there I was done caring. It also reinforced my belief that people who go through hard stuff have a flashing sign over their heads that tell other predators this isn't their first rodeo. At least it felt that way to me. I digress. This person was my best friend, allegedly, and it just blew up on me.

Anyways. All that negative aside I have been doing better than I ever have. My mental health is taken care of. I stimulate my brain and challenge myself with my three jobs, LOL. It keeps e out of trouble. I am with the most darling woman I've ever met. She saved me. My two cats are my prides and joys. I'm in a longplay of the Sims 4 right now.

I sign off on this post by requesting:

If you knew me and took the time to read this, I care for you always. Thank you for helping me get to where I am now, getting me through the hardest years of my life when I was also constantly using this site, and teaching me so much about true friendship. You guys rule.

[mrlivingdude]

Bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro this weekend. Saturday, October 7th

Sunday, October 8th

And also Monday, October 9th

I've loved it so much

And I just want to give a big ol thanks to @lizardgoescrazy8, @thefruitybash, and @briggybuckets

CAMILAAAA YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME TO LISTEN TO ALL MY STUPID SHIT TO ENTERTAIN MY USELESS BULLYING YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE EVEN WHEN I DON'T NEED YOU AND I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH

MEREDITH DAWG SATURDAY WAS SO SILLY AND ALSO SUNDAY MORNING THEM CONVERSATIONS WERE SOSO NICE AND OMG MY MOTHER SAID YOU TALKED A LOT AND ALSO SHE ASKED IF YOU WERE JUAN'S GIRLFRIEND AND ALSO ALSO MY BROTHER ASKED IF YOUR PARENTS HATED YOU CUZ THEY NAMED YOU MEREDITH😭😭😭

Brig. Brig. October 7th is a day I will never forget. The pure joy you were able to give me through just one message was magical. I pray I can give you half the joy you've given me dude. ALSO THE FACT YOU THOUGHT I LIVED IN THE EASY EHHEHEHWHABA but dude if I EVER

EVER

EVER

Do anything to make you feel uncomfortable, or angry, or sad, or annoyed, tell me.

That's all I can ask for. And I'll be waiting for the day we meet🙏🙏

AND I AIN'T NO FURRY🤬🤬🤬🤬

While I'm here, thanks to @hopeless-rainbows, @dittosprigatito, @spoomkeearts, @heywhatsgooddude, @satsalloni, and @hyp3rfixation-h3ll ! We didn't talk all too much this weekend, but I really do appreciate everything y'all do, even when it ain't related to me in any way. I love seeing everything y'all do, and I wish you the best of luck.

rown, never stop being the kindest ever.

Mangli, you're kinda like a jack of all cards. As you aren't like kind to an inhuman degree, or funny to an inhumane degree, but I love that of you!! It's hard to explain but you're just the greatest by not being the greatest lol, I like hearing you be passionate bout stuff.

Spooonkeeee never stop doing what you love cuz God damn are you good at it. Do your own thing Spoomkee, and just know I got all my faith in you. SIMON BELIEVES IN YOUUUUUYUYUUY.

blido your brand of humor is so spot on so so often you know when a joke will be good YOU KNOW HOW TO HELP SO MANY PEOPLE YOU'RE SO COOL BRO!!!! You just the bestest dude. Happy birthday btw!! I already said it but yeagh.

SATS YOU'RE OME OF THE SILLIEST JUET BE CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF CUZ IT KINDA FEELS LIKE YOU AIN'T SORRY:(( BUR YEAH YOU REALLY COOL

AND RONNIE!!!! Thank you from the bottom of me heart for getting me into BotBots. And for being so silly!!! And normal!!! I kinda gotta do my Scrubforce review series for 6-10, and then I kinda have a Burger-Tron and Spud edit to But She's Not My Lover by Jet Age Of Tomorrow, and then also a Spud edit to Mike G's verse on Parking Lot by Tyler, The Creator. I'll get to it eventually!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT YEAH SHOUTOUTS TO EVERYBODY I MENTIONED AND ALSO TO ALL MY OTHER FOLLOWERS I DIDN'T MENTION

OH AND @emilyreblogsbridget CUZ WE TALKED LIKE ONCE BUT I INTRODUCED EM TO TYLER'S MUSIC WHICH IS JUST REALLY AWESOME😁😁😁

[randomoranges]

this is an old idea from last year. i always meant to write it but then there was always some Right Now fic that needed to be written. sometimes, i feel like i need to write things in real time even though that’s a really bizarre thought to have.

finally sat down and wrote the thing. so here we go; in case anyone [lol] wondered what the heckaroonie ét was doing and why he can just magically take time off to not work lol

Absence

January 2nd 2022

 It’s a blessed quiet Sunday after a nondescript New Year’s. Sure, there weren’t any restrictions here in Edmonton – or at least, a lot less than back home, but Edward had kept things on the down low regardless. New Year’s Eve had been quiet as well, what with the cancelled fireworks, but they had gone out for a stroll after dinner and had celebrated the New Year outside in Edward’s backyard. Calvin had made special cocktails and Étienne had found a stream of live fireworks from some other location to watch. Yesterday had been much of the same, but still nice. Calvin had made a roast, Edith had stopped by, and they’d all had an earlier supper together.

 Today is for recovering and taking it easy. And so, Edward has spent the better part of the last hour lounging on his couch, reading a book, while Étienne wormed his way nearby, using his chest as a makeshift pillow, while he perused his phone. It’s quiet and easy and somewhere along the way, Edward’s hand finds Étienne’s hair and starts playing with it.

 He’s convinced Étienne has fallen asleep, but when he puts his book down, Étienne is still awake, seemingly lost in thought, his phone out of sight.

 “Hey, what time d’you have class at tomorrow?” Edward’s unsure whether or not school starts again so soon after New Year’s and he can’t remember if there’d been a change in Étienne’s schedule either, but he asks out of curiosity.

 “I don’t,” He answers simply.

 “Kay, what time d’you start on the day after?” It’s not that he wants to pry – Edward simply wants to know what his boyfriend’s schedule is in order to plan his day accordingly. He’ll be off to work in the morning and he’d hate to wake up Étienne for nothing if he doesn’t need to get ready for his own day.

 “I don’t either.”

 Edward bites his tongue from saying something scathing. Étienne is being vague with his answers and he has a funny feeling that he’ll make no progress at this rate.

 “Pray do tell, when do you go back to work and at what time will you be starting on that day,” He finally says. If he sounds a little short, he isn’t about to apologise for it. Étienne has a way of pushing his buttons at times.

 Étienne is quiet for a moment and Edward wonders why his boyfriend is being so cagey about it. Finally, he shifts and Edward watches him tap away at his phone for a moment, before he hands it to him.

 Intrigued, Edward takes the device and looks at it. It’s a photo of a note, it seems, and upon a second reading, Edward notices the logo of a hospital with the name of a doctor underneath. The note in itself is semi-illegible, but he does pick up on the words “congé” and “médical”.

 “Étienne?” He asks, eyes still on his boyfriend’s phone, “What is this?” He tries, really he does, to keep the mounting edge of worry out of his voice, but Étienne must pick up on it, for he sighs and shifts about, so that his head is turned towards him, even though Edward still can’t see his face.

 “It’s a medical note. I’m on sick leave. I’m not going back to work.” Étienne tells him quietly.

 Edward stills at the news and takes a moment to reel in his surprise and shock. There are so many questions he wants to ask and so many comments he wants to make, but he knows that this is a delicate situation and he does not want to make it worse by souring Étienne’s mood over an insensitivity even if he does really mean well.

 “How come? Is everything okay?” Edward’s aware of Étienne’s mental hurdles and knows that the past year and a half have been really hard on him. However, Étienne had spent most of that year and a half living with him and he can’t recall a defining moment that could have set him back to the point of getting a medical note from his doctor. Had he missed something? Did something more sinister happen?

 Étienne shrugs and fiddles with the sleeves of his sweater, twirling them around his thumbs. “Same old, really. Nothing new. I’m fine. I’m just – tired. Of everything.” He stops there and Edward waits for him to go on. He still has so many questions and this answer has barely clarified anything. “The pandemic set me back. I tried to trudge through, really, but it was hard. My motivation was shot. Is still shot. It feels like someone’s turned off the lights and everything is just – grey. All the time or – most of the time.”

 Étienne speaks quietly, as if confessing to some great sin, and he keeps avoiding Edward’s gaze. He admits to his crimes to the coffee table and Edward remains still, afraid to move and miss some part of the tale. “Teaching online was terrible. And I tried. I really did. And I don’t know if it’s the new batch of students or if it’s me, but I got tired of it and I wasn’t enjoying myself. I always try to make my classes interesting, but even when we went back in person this past term – I wasn’t there mentally. Getting up in the morning was hard and I didn’t want to be there. So I saw the doctor, got my paper, and survived the semester. Now I’m done.”

 “Why didn’t you tell me…” He hates that Étienne had kept quiet on the matter for so long, but he hates it even more that his boyfriend had seemingly suffered in silence and hadn’t felt comfortable sharing the news with him.

 Again, Étienne is quiet and he picks at a piece of lint off the sofa. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to bother you with the news.”

 “Who said you’re a bother?” Edward asks, semi-indignant. The mere idea that Étienne would even think that he’d find him bothersome over something serious like this leaves him speechless. “You’re not a bother. For the record, you do not bother me. Not with these types of things.” He adds for emphasis, in case Étienne would get that idea.

 He sighs and shifts them both so that Étienne is at level with him and so that he can finally look at Étienne and attempt to read the change of emotions on his face. “I wish you would have told me about this, Bouclé.” He murmurs, placing a soft kiss to his forehead. “I would’ve done what I could to help…”

 Étienne squirms and would have preferred if he didn’t have to be subjected to Edward’s worried gaze. He hates it with a burning passion, especially when it’s directed at him. He doesn’t want to worry Edward and he always feels bad when he does. “I didn’t know how to tell you,” He admits. It always felt weird to throw in casually in the middle of a conversation. Plus, there was always the part that talking to Edward did improve his mood a bit and so, he didn’t want to be a downer by bringing it up. On top of that, if Edward was in a good mood or telling him about something nice that had happened, he didn’t want to steer the conversation back to something depressing.

 “Didn’t want to burden you with my shitty mood or take up your time if you were busy with something.”

 “Étienne; that’s not how this works.” Edward admonishes lightly. Even if I was busy, we could have talked about this at another time. I would have made time for you – for this. I always make time for you. You’re important to me!”

 This is why he’d kept quiet. Edward is being concerned and slightly hurt – or something and he can’t deal with the disappointment or the emotion hiding behind Edward’s words. Étienne wishes he could be anywhere else at the moment, even if Edward’s arms are warm. He wants to lock himself up in the guestroom until he gets his stupid emotions in check and then brush this conversation off. Pretend it never happened. Move on. Move past.

 Instead, he looks at Edward and he feels whatever resolve is still in him break a little more. “I don’t want you to think that I’m broken. Or an incompetent. Or weak. Or that – I’m someone you always need to look out for because I can’t take care of myself.” He admits in a whisper; a big, dark secret he’s kept to himself for so long finally out there.

 It’s easier to stay quiet about these things. Easier this way in order not to disappoint those who have expectations of him. Easier to pretend, really. He’s supposed to be fine anyways. He’s been worse, if anything. This is just a setback.

 “Sweetheart, I’d never think those things of you, ever. At least, not in the way you mean them.” He holds on to Étienne a little tighter, willing him to understand what it is he’s telling him. “And even if you didn’t have your own mental health challenges, I’d still worry about you, because I worry about the people I care about.”

 Étienne looks up to him, incredulous look etched upon his face.

 “I worry for those I care about even when they’re okay. It might be a different type of worry, but I want them to remain all right, so I check up on them – to make sure they’re okay. And I do that with you, not because I think you can’t manage on your own, but because it’s my way of showing I care.” He’s not sure if he’s making any sense and he’d hate to sound patronising.

 He’s very well aware that there was a long period of time during which Étienne had not been able to take care of himself and he’d hate for Étienne to think that he still sees him as that person who’d needed so much help at the time. He knows that Étienne’s done a lot of progress over the years, even if it isn’t always easy, and he’d hate to make him think he’s diminishing his efforts and progress.

 He must have said something right, for Étienne’s face scrunches up into a wet half smile, before his boyfriend furrows his face in his chest. Edward holds him close and caresses his back. The last thing he wants is for Étienne to feel alone at a time like this.

 It takes him a moment, but eventually, Étienne resurfaces and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and part of the sleeve of his sweater. He sniffles and mumbles out an apology, before he resettles himself. For a long while, they go back to the way they were before; Edward plays with his hair and Étienne gets lost in Edward’s rhythmic breathing.

 “What are you going to do now?” Edward eventually asks, breaking the spell that had been upon them. He has work obligations and for as much as he’d love to spend his days with Étienne, he also knows that he can’t drop everything either.

 “Don’t worry; I’ll keep busy and I’ll help around the house. It’s the least I can do.” He starts off as if afraid Edward’s going to accuse him of taking advantage of his generosity. “I might attempt to restructure my classes, but I’m not sure. I feel like I’m done with teaching for a while. I want to do something different – maybe. We’ll see. It’s like – I’m bored of it. It doesn’t inspire or motivate me like before and it just saps everything out of me…” He trails off with his thought, seemingly lost in his own head again and Edward tries hard not to make any comparisons with their relationship, but he does wonder. Will there ever come a time when Étienne will get bored of him? He shakes his head; now is not the time to ponder such things.

 “Just – don’t push me away, please?” He asks. He doesn’t care what Étienne will or won’t do, so long as he gets to be part of it, he realises. He wants to be there for him and support him whichever way he can. Even if it means being woken at an ungodly hour of the night to hear Étienne’s latest plan. It wouldn’t be the first time.

 Étienne offers him a small smile and this time, at least, it looks a little bit more sincere, even if it is too many shades apologetic. “It’s not that I want to push you away, honest. And I’ll try real hard to keep you informed, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t accidentally re-convince myself that you’ll only end up seeing me as bothersome and not worth your while…”

 “Then, in that case, I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t feel that way.” As if to prove his point, he pulls Étienne close, wrapping him in his arms, and Étienne makes himself small in his embrace.

 FIN

[stray-cat-21]

Don’t tell Scotty

Summary: based on the song Scotty doesn’t know. Basically based on the TikTok trend lol.

Warnings: 18+ smut Minors DNI, affair, semi poorly written smut.

Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me. Do it in my van every Sunday. She tells him she's in church but she doesn't go. Still she's on her knees and Scotty doesn't know. Oh, Scotty doesn't know. So don't tell Scotty. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. (So don't tell Scotty)

“Fuck sweet heart you look absolutely sinful.” Eddie groaned helping me into the back of his van. He had parked in one of our usual spots a small clearing in the woods about half a mile from the church. It was Sunday afternoon sermon already finished but now it was time for the teen bible study program that was split into the guys group and the girls group. My boyfriend Scotty Richardson was inside probably praying about Saturday’s game or to win homecoming king. While he preferred to spend his Sunday on his knees I preferred to spend mine on all fours in the back of Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson’s van.

I don’t really remember how Eddie and I went from being just kinda friends to friends with benefits fucking every second my boyfriend turned his back. From Eddie’s van parked at the church or in the school parking lot, to my bedroom in the late hours, or even in the hellfire room and school bathroom Eddie and I had a hard time keeping our hands to ourselves. It was so very wrong and I knew I should feel terrible about the sneaking around and cheating but to be honest the only hard part was not being able to kiss Eddie in front of everyone at school. Not being able to cheer him on at club meetings or hold his hand in the hallway, with every side glance and very quick turn of the head to hide a longing stare it sent a painful ping right to my heart.

I was dressed in my pink pleated skirt with my white long sleeve shirt paired with white Marry Jane’s and lite pink frilly socks. The perfect Sunday service outfit that would also suit the afterwards lunch with the Richardson family. “You like this Eds you should come see what’s underneath.” I teased leaning back onto the pillows he had spread around the floor of the van. It was a subtle hint to the fact that although the whole town thought he was a satan worshipping freak he was actually a sweet dorky gentleman who ‘didn’t want his princess just laying on the floor of his van’.

He climbed over top of me his hair tickling my face. His hands couldn’t stay put moving from my face to my hips to my ass touching every inch of skin he could get a hold of. “Shit princess need to taste you now, can’t wait any longer been craving you all morning.” He groaned kissing down my neck biting gently trailing his way down merely lifting my skirt to my hips. When his eyes landed on the red thong that barely covered anything he lout a throaty moan.

Fiona says she's out shopping. But she's under me. And I'm not stopping.'Cause Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. So don't tell Scotty. Scotty doesn't know. Don't tell Scotty

Today Eddie was rough and possessive his grip tight his thrusts almost too hard. The basketball team had made him miserable with their taunting. He acted tough and unbothered then but it was soon after the school had emptied for the day that he was discreetly dragging me to our spot at the picnic table pushing me onto it. I didn’t get much time to protest not that I wanted to, before his tongue was in my mouth his hips grinding against me.

Far too soon his mouth pulls off of me and he’s dragging my panties down my thighs hastily. He pauses still holding my underwear in his hand suddenly looking at me completely serious with a hint of worry. “If this gets to be too much stop me, tap my arm, squeeze my hand any sign and I’ll stop and we can go grab ice cream.” He promised kissing my forehead. “Fuck me Eddie Munson.” I smiled reassuringly. He kissed me quickly before stuffing the panties into my mouth the lustful blown out look returning to his eyes.

He fell to his knees pushing my thighs apart. He wasted no time in diving in like he was starving. His tongue plunged into my core licking and sucking pushing his long tongue as far as it would reach. His thumb came up to roughly press circles around my sensitive clit. The roughness of his skin paired with being shoved deep into me my eyes were tearing up sobs hidden behind the panties.

My reaction only seemed to egg him on making him speed up and push his tongue in harder. I was moaning and mumbling his name saliva dripping down my chin grinding my hips into his mouth. He swapped his fingers with his mouth attaching his lips to my swollen clit. Eddie nibbling and sucking on the ball of nerves made me see stars causing my orgasm to intensely wash over me. My legs shook my head falling back a loud groan barely making its way past my lips.

Eddie stood up wiping his mouth on his jacket. A proud grin on his features. He looks so prideful staring down at me like by making me orgasm he had done something great. It didn’t take long for his jeans and underwear to be around his calves hard member in his hand. “Ready for me princess?” He asked stroking his cock against my clit.

I nodded eagerly spreading my legs more desperate for him. He knew that better than he probably knew a lot of things, in fact he relished in it. “Anything for my sweetheart.” He beamed thrusting himself completely into my still dripping core. My eyes rolled back and he let out an almost animalistic growl. His pace started off hot snd heavy.

“Fuck sweetheart squeezin me so tight, gonna give me another one, need you to cum for me again.” He pleaded. A particularly hard thrust hit me in the perfect spot causing me to scream around the makeshift gag he had made out of my ruined panties. My head was spinning the build up of pleasure pushing me closer to the edge. “Stay quiet don’t want anyone finding you out here makin a mess on my cock now do we?” He taunted harshly. His free hand came up to my throat gradually squeezing it quickening his pace. 

“Who’s fucking you so good sweetheart? Huh who’s pussy is this?” He grunted sweat beading on his forehead. His brown curls were sticking all over to his face but he looks breath taking. For a moment he reaches up and pulls the panties from my mouth wanting to hear me say it. “Y-yours Eddie all yours please.” I begged needing him to make me cum again.

“That’s right the town freak is making you cum all over his fat cock.” He grunted. “You might be his girlfriend but this pussy is all mine.” He continued pushing my legs further up his hips. “I belong to you Eddie only you.” I gasped pushing his hair away from his face. “Should just send you to that asshole full of my cum, show him who you really belong to.” Eddie snarled with a particularly hard thrust pushing as deep as he could. Just at his dirty words I lost it my orgasm hitting me hard like a freight train my cum leaking down between us.

“Please yes Eddie cum in me please.” I moaned shocking us both. “Holy shit you sure?” He moaned. “Please Eddie wanna be full of your cum.” I begged kissing his shoulder and up his neck. That was all it took for the damn to break his cum spilled into me painting my walls. He let out a loud moan turning to stare at the mixture of our cum that leaked out when he pulled his cock from me.

His head fell to my chest as we caught our breath my hand coming to comb through his hair. “You okay?” I asked quietly pressing kisses to his head. He nodded finally looking back up at me. His face was much more relaxed the stress of the day long gone. “Yeah I’m okay thanks princess.” He giving me a quick peck.

After a few minutes of calming down he pulled my panties back up my legs eyeing my pussy that was dripping with his cum. He moved so he was sat on the table top leaving me in his lap. “Wasn’t too rough was I?” He asked his eyebrows knit together in worry. Eddie’s fingers delicately traced my skin looking for any bruising or marks. “No you were perfect.” I sighed happily.

My finger tips moved from the ink on his skin to the guitar pick around his neck. I picked it up lightly moving it between my fingers. “I wish I could go to your shows.” I mumbled almost not wanting to say it out loud. “Yeah princess? Wanna be my little groupie?” He teased.

“Yeah I’d be in the front row dancing and cheering the loudest.” I beamed admiring the way it made him brighten up even more. “That wouldn’t be hard considering it would be you, Jeff’s mom, and Gareth’s girlfriend but thank you.” He chuckled. “Still I could be there to support you and everyone would know I was there to be with Eddie Munson.” I sighed pulling my gaze away from his big beautiful eyes. “Hey well I know you’re Corroded Coffin’s biggest fan princess.” He said quietly directing me to look back up at him. “And I definitely know you’re with me.” He continued pressing his lips to mine in gentle yet possessive kisses.

“All yours baby.” I breathed out relaxing back into his embrace. Eddie pulled away his face lit up with excitement. He quickly clapped his hands together. “I’ve got it!“ I sat back looking confused at this strange beautiful man underneath me. “What’s up Eddie?” I asked amused. “Close your eyes sweetheart.” He commanded.

I quirked an eyebrow but closed my eyes anyways trusting him. There was some shuffling around followed by the feeling of his hand moving my hair and something being placed around my neck. “Okay open your eyes look!” Eddie exclaimed. I opened my eyes and looked down to see his guitar pick necklace resting against my throat. I gasped looking up at him “Eddie really your necklace?”

He smiled nodding happily clearly proud of his idea. “Yup every time you look down and see it you’ll know you’re supporting my music and every time I see it at school or during our extra curriculars’ I’ll know you’re all mine.” He explained. I grinned from ear to ear staring at the pendant now resting between my breasts. “Thank you baby.” I beamed kissing him again.

Eddie pulled his bottom lip into his mouth to bite it a wave of nervousness washing over him. “You um don’t have to wear it all the time you know I don’t want him to get mad at you for it.” He coughed scratching the back of his neck. I shook my head crawling onto his lap. “I’ll never take it off I love it.” I beamed kissing his face. His smile returned as he wrapped his arms around me.

“We should probably get dressed.” I sighed looking around. Eddie nodded helping me up from the bench. There was a calming quiet while both got our clothes put back in place. “Wanna come over to my place till dinner?” He suggested lighting a cigarette and placing it between his lips. “Yes please I could go for another round or maybe three.” I teased poking his side.

Eddie grinned moving his leather covered arm around my shoulders. As we made our way to the van I grabbed the cigarette from his mouth taking a long drag. “Besides you promised to send me back full of cum I’m holding you to it.” I winked making his jaw twitch. “You’re gonna be the death of me princess.” He groaned. “What’s the matter baby can’t keep up?” I teased.

I can't believe he's so trusting. While I'm right behind you thrusting. Fiona's got him on the phone. And she's trying not to moan. It's a three-way call and he knows nothing, nothing. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. So don't tell Scotty. 'Cause Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. So don't tell Scotty.

“Y-yes Scotty I’m fine just a headache.” I lied as my pussy subconsciously tightened around Eddie’s cock desperate to be fucked. A low quiet groan escaped his lips with a sharp thrust hitting the very spot that made me want to scream out his name loud enough to alert the whole neighborhood of what we were doing. I gasped quickly biting my lip hard. “Just go have fun with your friends you don’t need to come take care of me.” I sighed in annoyance wanting the phone call to end. I expected Eddie’s thrust to be a warning to quicken things up but it seemed he had no intention of stopping his movements wether I was done or not.

His ring covered hand came up and wrapped itself in my hair pulling it back shoving himself back deep inside my dripping cunt. He was hard and getting impatient so his thrusts were quick and deep shoving it in balls deep only to almost pull all the way out leaving me clenching at nothing. My eyes were rolling to the back of my head Scotty droning on about some nonsense over the phone. I was about to fake being sick just to get him to shut up and end the conversation but was caught off guard by Eddie’s hand moving from my hair to my clit rubbing in small circles with his calloused fingers. “Oh fuck- no S-Scotty I just stubbed my toe gotta go sorry.” I mumbled hanging up and tossing the phone aside.

“Finally princess Jesus he never shuts up.” Eddie growls pounding into me even harder his finger still toying with my clit. “Fuck Eddie feels so good.” I moaned arching my hips more my head hitting the pillow. The bed shook causing the headboard to freak against the wall thankfully no one was home to listen to me getting brutally fucked by the town freak. “Jesus Christ your so tight sweet heart.” Eddie cursed his grip on my hip tightening just hard enough to leave the slightest bruise. “Roll over wanna see your pretty face when you make a mess on my cock.” He groaned pulling out of my needy home.

I quickly obliged as soon as my head hit the pillow he was already wrapping my thighs around himself shoving his cock back into me roughly. “Eddie ah so big.” I moaned unable to form a cohesive sentence with his dick buried so deep in my pussy. “No idea what this dress did to me all day. Just wanted to bend you over the lunch table and fuck your brains out right in front of that dick wad.” Eddie gasped letting out a loud moan. “You should next time.” I teased reaching up to lightly tug on his hair.

Eddie’s eyes bore into my own searching for something almost sending a shiver down my spine as their intensity. A somewhat evil grin found it’s way to his soft lips. “Want the whole town to know you’re the freak’s whore huh? Want them to know how many times you’ve begged for my cum?” He taunted his thrusts getting harder pulling me closer to bliss. “Fuck Eddie I’m gonna cum.” I whined squeezing my eyes shut.

“Uh uh princess eyes open want you to watch me ruin you.” He demanded squeezing my face. He tilted my chin so I opened my eyes to stare down at where his cock was disappearing into my slick covered pussy. His movements were being sloppy and less even signaling he was close to his own orgasm. “Cum on my cock honey I know you can do it.” He whispered. His lips met mine in a sweet tender kiss lingering with every one.

The coil my stomach snapped causing the intense orgasm to wash over me. I let out another loud moan of his name against his lips my legs shaking around his hips only being held in place by his strong grip. It didn’t take long till his cum was flooding my already soaked cunt. His breath was heavy forehead pressed against mine lips just ghosting over my own. The scene felt much more intimate than two fuck buddies using each other for pleasure.

Eddie placed another soft kiss against my lips pulling himself from the bed. “Stay here princess.” He smiled leaving into the bathroom. I couldn’t help the lazy smile that graced my lips. If only it could be like this forever. Although Scotty and I had only had sex once it had been far from this intimate and involved a lot less orgasms on my end.

Eddie finally re-emerged from the bathroom a damp washcloth in his hand. He climbed back in bed and began to gently clean off my thighs and wipe away the excess cum from my lips. His strokes were soft and steady as if he pressed to hard my skin would break like glass. The washcloth was warm as Eddie had taken the time to even let the water warm up. “Thank you for doing that.” I sighed running my fingers through his crazy hair.

The smile that graced his features was warm and genuine. “Anything for you sweetheart, gotta take care of my girl.” He beamed almost proud of the words he spoke. Earlier in our relationship he would have backpedaled not bold enough to call me his but if our encounters had taught us anything it’s that I was his in any matter of the word. Tossing the cloth into a bin near my bed he leaned back against the bed. I crossed one of my wobbly legs across his waist leaning into his chest.

My fingers reached up to trace my favorite tattoo of his on his chest. I loved the way it made small goosebumps form on his arms. “You’re so pretty Eddie.” I whispered kissing any skin I could reach. He blushed gently turning my chin so I was looking up at him. He didn’t say anything just let his hand rest on my cheek as he stared at me. So many words went unspoken between us but they didn’t need said out loud with how strongly you could feel it in the air.

“Idiot didn’t even realize he was in a three way call.”

“I can’t believe you fucked me while I was on the phone with him.”

“He had it coming after that shit today.”

“What shit?”

“Nothing don’t worry about it princess.”

“No tell me what did he do?”

“Just wouldn’t shut up about your guys date yesterday all things he supposedly did to you. Talkin about how you were screaming his name all night.”

“Leave it to him to over exaggerate about a lousy three minutes of ‘making love’ followed by him quickly snoring.”

“Making love?”

“Yeah at least that’s what he calls it to my face.”

“Have you told him you love him?”

“Well yeah I mean he’s my boyfriend Eddie you kinda have to say that stuff.”

Eddie scoffed pulling himself from the bed silently pulling his boxers on. He was scowling as he fumbled with his jeans that were partially inside out. I sat up worried moving to the end of the bed in front of him. When my hand brushed against his own he tore away like my touch burned him. “Eds what’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothin I just thought as since I’m just the fuck buddy not the boyfriend I should leave I mean you got what you wanted, jobs done.” He huffed getting his belt back together. “Eddie what are you talking about?” I gawked standing up in front him. He seemed to tower over me more than normal but rather than having an intimidating presence it almost seemed sad. “You know that’s not what this is!” I continued grabbing his wrist in my hand. “Then what is it?” He whispered his words shaky.

The phone ringing both turned our attention to the bedside table. “Don’t answer that please.” He pleaded. “Eddie I have to what if it’s my parents.” I argued releasing him from my grasp. He huffed again rolling his eyes. “We both know it’s not your fuckin parents.” He grumbled snatching the vest and jacket off my floor.

“Please just don’t leave yet let me answer this and we can continue this conversation.” I begged pulling the phone off the receiver. “Hello?” I questioned trying not to let my emotions creep into my voice. “Hey babe you hung up pretty quick earlier just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You sure you don’t need me to come make you feel better?” Scotty asked. Something about his tone made my skin scrawl knowing exactly what he meant.

“No Scotty I’m fine really like I said just a headache. I have to go I’m in the middle of something important.” I snapped. “Oh is it that time of the month is that why you’re being such a bitch?” He teased. Eddie had clearly heard what was said and it only seemed to make him angrier. He stepped into his sneakers glaring at the floor.

I hung up the phone not bothering with an explanation. Eddie was already facing the window avoiding my eyes. “That’s the guy you love really?” He asked in an almost mocking tone. My steps faltered at his new harshness to me. I had never even heard Eddie even get close to angry before.

“Eddie please-”

“No! He just called you a bitch and that’s the guy you love? The guy who talks about having sex with you with all his friends? The guy who who doesn’t give a shit if you cum? The one who treats you like some trophy.”

“It’s not like that, you know how this town is. We’re just high school sweethearts that’s it.”

Eddie spun around so he was facing me staring down at me intensely. His eyes were piercing but hidden behind their anger his brown irises were glossed over with tears on the brink of spilling over. “Yeah for now, then after graduation you’ll trade in that that silver spoon in your mouth for an engagement ring. You’ll be his little trophy house wife. He’ll get you the big house with the three kids and the picket fuckin fence.” He spat.

Tears were falling down my cheeks now my heart sunken into my stomach. “He’ll give you everything I can’t.” He finished one of his own tears slipping out. I wanted to protest swear none of it was true but the words were caught in my throat. Eddie shook his head disappointed turning back to my window and sliding it open. The phone rang again causing me to spin around in surprise but by the time I looked back at the window Eddie was long gone.

We'll put on a show. Everyone will go. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. The parkin' lot, why not? It's so cool when you're on top

“Fucking shit you’re so beautiful tonight baby, so gorgeous all dolled up.” Eddie groaned leaned against the van wall. My legs burned from moving my weight up and down to fuck myself on his cock. I let out another loud moan feeling him completely fill me up. “Jesus so pretty sitting on my cock.” He groaned bucking his hips up into me completely bottoming out. “Fuck Eddie not gonna last.” I moaned steadying myself on his shoulders.

Eddie grabbed my hips taking over being in control fucking up into me. Each thrust hard and quick desperate to finish me off. His movements weren’t much better wobbly and sporadic. He was close to cumming too but always made sure I went first. Something Scotty had never been to worried about.

“Want you to cum with me okay baby can you do that for me?” He panted between sloppy kisses. I nodded letting his intense eyes stare into my own. His pointer and middle fingers were drawing lazy circles on my clit. Our lips met in a soft needy kiss no tongue just lips that were desperate for the feel of each other. The minute I felt his hot cum spill into me i let go my orgasm hitting me hard causing me to collapse against his chest.

Eddie’s hands were all over me soothing my hair caressing my side his fingers leaving a comforting trail. After pulling myself off of him I leaned back against his chest holding him as close as I could. I wanted to disappear into his embrace not go back into that stupid school with my so called friends. “You okay sweetheart?” He question gently pulling me back enough to look at my face. “Yeah I’m okay just enjoyed that a lot.” I sighed happily sending him a kind smile.

“So not that I’m complaining but you wanna tell me why you skipped out on the winter formal to come seduce me?” He asked amused. I rolled my eyes exhaling. Tonight was our senior year winter formal the last big dance before prom. I had a nice black tule dress, my makeup and hair neat and done. I was going with one of the most popular guys in school dancing with the cheerleaders but I was miserable.

Thankfully Scotty had been to busy trying to get the cheer captain’s attention to notice when I snuck out the gym doors. My heels clicked against the pavement creating an echo into the quiet night. My chest felt heavy eyes burning from tears yet to fall. There was only one person I wanted to dance with tonight and there was no way he’d be caught dead at the school when he wasn’t required to be. He especially wouldn’t want to after our fight.

The two of us had hardly spoken since they day at my house. We definitely hadn’t hooked up in the last two weeks. Things had gotten so much harder without Eddie being a constant in my life. I really didn’t have the right to be upset either since he was completely justified in being mad. Hence why I was completely taken back to see his familiar van parked in the school parking lot.

Eddie was standing outside pacing mumbling something to himself and making crazy gestures with his hands. He was uncharacteristically dressed in a dark blue button up shirt with dark jeans that were hole free but his silver chain still dangled by his side. Any other person looking at the scene would have assumed he was high or even doing some satanic ritual. But to me he was a sight for sore eyes. A smile grew on my lips as I made my way closer to the eccentric boy.

Hearing the sound of my heels Eddie’s head snapped up his eyes wide. “Princess!” He exclaimed speeding over to me. Eddie pulled me into arms lifting me into the air doing a little spin. I giggled hugging him for dear life letting a few of those tears fall. “I’m so glad to see you.” I sniffled.

“Let me take a look at you.” He said setting me down. Eddie used his hand to gently spin me around admiring my get up. “Breathtaking, my girl is absolutely gorgeous!” He cheered loudly. His brown eyes moved from my dress up to where his necklace sat on proud display. “You clean up pretty nicely yourself Eddie.” I grinned kissing his cheek.

“Baby? You with me?” He questioned pulling me out of my thoughts. I took a breath nodding my head taking a minute to compose myself. Eddie was looking at me so much worry and care in his eyes. It just made that pain in my chest stronger.

“How come you were here tonight?”

“I uh thought I’d come surprise you, thought maybe I could steal a dance under the bleachers.”

“So you’re saying you got all dressed up and came to school after hours just to dance with me?”

“Just to dance with you? Sweetheart you gotta understand I would’ve walked through Mordor to get here and have the chance just to have you look in my direction.”

“But why Eddie? Why after our fight after everything I put you through?”

“Hey don’t do that to yourself. Yeah our fight was bad but I’m willing to fight for this, whatever this is as long as you are. Yeah not being able to kiss you at school or actually show you off to the guys sucks but if it means I get to have moments like this with you? Then it’s worth all the secrets and sneaking around because I love you.”

The tears had returned to my eyes again my chest tightening. I pulled away from him staring him in the eyes clearly surprising him. “Y-you what?” I whispered. It was as if Eddie suddenly realized what he had just admitted. His eyes widened and his mouth stuttered as he tried to come up with anything to say.

“Fuck it yes I love you. I’m crazy in love with you and I hate seeing you with him. He isn’t good enough for you princess. And I know I might not be either but at least I would love you to the ends of the earth. I would shout how much I love you from the very rooftops so that he and the whole rest of the world would know just how much you have me wrapped around your finger.”

“Eddie I-I”

“It’s okay you don’t have to say it back and I’m not saying we need to change our situation but I couldn’t hide it anymore. I know I can’t offer you as much as he can. He’s got the nice car, and sports scholarships lined up, and his fathers business to fall back on. And I’m a third time senior who drives a beat up van and plays a fantasy game and-”

I cut him off pressing another desperate kiss to his lips the tears spilling down my cheeks. When we pulled apart he was looking at me worriedly. “I love you too Eddie I love you so much.” I sobbed. He let out a shaky breath relief washing over him. He wasted no time in pressing his lips back to mine cupping my face in his hands.

It wasn’t till our bodies were absolutely desperate for air that we pulled away both grinning ear to ear. “Is it too late to ask for that dance?” Eddie asked right back to his cocky self. I laughed shaking my head at this crazy boy underneath me. Once our clothes were readjusted he helped me out of the van. He disappeared from my side for a moment to turn on the vans radio.

Snow had slowly started to sprinkle down from the night sky. The white flakes sparkled against our clothes like little diamonds. Eddie cleared his throat his hand outstretched to me. “May I have this dance M’laday?” He grinned. I grabbed his hand smiling at his loving face.

His front lawn in the snow. Life is so hard 'cause Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. I did her on his birthday. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. So don't tell Scotty

It had been weeks since the winter formal things between Scotty and I long over. It had been a rough messy breakup but I left out any mention of Eddie hoping to save him from some of the teams cruelty. The two of us hadn’t pursued anything but we’re still sneaking around. Why neither of us had said or done anything I didn’t know but at least he was still there.

Thanks to a bunch of begging from Chrissy I still found myself stuck at his big birthday bash. Chrissy and Jason were now comfortable in a chair making out so I quietly excused myself just wanting some air. Scotty had been spending most the night getting insanely drunk and begging me for another chance. I was sick of this night and just wanted to go home or even better to Eddie’s place. Finally pushing my way through a crowd of drunk people I found myself escaping through the front door.

It was mid December snow had already covered the ground. I leaned against a wall crossing my arms in an attempt to shield myself from the cold. The harsh wind stung the vast amount of my skin exposed by my pink dress. The music from inside the house was so loud I could feel the vibrations against my back and it only made my head pound more. I hated these parties full of fake people getting drunk and having mediocre sex.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?” A familiar voice asked turning my attention to where Eddie was walking up a lit cigarette in his fingers. For the first time that night a genuine smile grew on my lips. “Eddie what are you doing here?” I beamed throwing myself into his arms not caring if anyone saw. He smiled against my hair tossing the cigarette to the ground putting it out. “Birthday boy in there wanted some party favors.” He shrugged.

“Typical Scott and his shitty friends pick on you in school and then want to buy drugs from you.” I scoffed annoyed. “It’s alright princess it’s good for business.” He smiled sliding his hands up my arms. His fingers were warm against my freezing skin causing me to shiver. His warm smiled turned to a worried frown. “Jesus Christ you’re freezing here.” He said stepping back and beginning to shrug off his leather jacket.

“Eddie you don’t have to do that won’t you be cold?” I asked hesitating to grab the jacket. He rolled his eyes putting it around my shoulders for me. “I guess we’ll have to find another way to keep me warm.” He teased. I smiled biting my lip looking around “please tell me you have your van.” His cocky smirk got even bigger as he grabbed my hand leading me out to the mess of cars.

The van was a sight for sore eyes sticking out between everyone’s cars. I was practically dragging Eddie by his hand to his own van. “Someone’s impatient.” Eddie teased pulling me back to his chest wrapping his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around his neck reaching up to kiss him. “Just need you baby.” I whispered between kisses.

He suddenly pulled back a nervous look gracing his big brown eyes. “Aren’t you worried someone will see us?” He asked. “Let them see I don’t care.” I groaned kissing him again this time deepening the kiss by running my tongue against his bottom lip. Eddie melted against me pushing my back against the van. The only thing I wanted to focus on right now was him.

I didn’t want to think about he didn’t hesitate to give me his jacket while Scotty never would have considered it. Or how Eddie’s kisses were soft and the way his lips fit perfectly against mine. The way he kissed me like he was drowning and I was his fresh air. Definitely not about the way Eddie could hardly go five minutes without calling me some form of beautiful where as Scotty hadn’t so much as mumbled the word pretty in my direction.

When we pulled apart for air Eddie was grinning at me like a mad man. “You look pretty hot in my clothes sweetheart.” He teased adjusting the jacket over my body. “Well if you take me back to your place I’ll wear whatever the hell you want.” I whispered into the shell of his ear making him shudder. Before anything else could be said I was swooped up into his arms as he carried me bridal style to the passenger door. “Eds what are you doing put me down.” I giggled.

Scotty doesn't know. Scotty will know. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty's gotta know. I'm gonna tell Scotty. Gonna tell him myself. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty has to. Scotty has to. Scotty has to go. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. So don't tell Scotty. Scotty doesn't know. That is so bad! So bad

Chrissy and I were sat at the cafeteria table discussing our plans for the weekend and what we’d wear to said plans. I was half tuned in adding every once in a while my main focus being on stealing glances at Eddie. We were sharing bashful smiles from across the cafeteria. Underneath my chunky sweater was his Hellfire club shirt he had graciously let me borrow after our weekend spent together in his trailer. I gave him a small wave briefly turning my attention back to Chrissy to answer a question.

I was mid sentence when a commotion across the room made Chrissy and i turn to face the noise. Eddie and the rest of the hellfire club were facing the basketball team. Scotty had a hold of Eddie’s jacket sneering at him. With a worried look towards Chrissy I made my way over to the group. As I got closer their shouting got louder and more clear.

“I don’t give a shit keep your eyes off of her freak!”

“She’s not yours anymore prick!”

“The fuck she is psycho that’s not what she was saying last night when she was screaming my name.”

“Stop talking about her like that!”

“Or what you’ll sacrifice me? Or is that your plan for her because I hate to break it to Munson she’s no virgin.”

Eddie was seething I could see it from here his fists clenched his nostrils flared. “Fuck this.” I sighed climbing up onto the table and striding over towards the guys. “Hey Scotty!” I shouted catching the cafeterias attention. Eddie and Scotty both snapped to face me. Eddie slightly softened taking in my appearance

“Let him go Scotty now.”

“But babe I was just defending your honor this creep was staring at you like the sick freak he is.”

“Yeah I know I was staring back that’s what you do when you’re in love with someone.”

There was some gasps around the ground as I made my confession but I was focused on the smile more gracing Eddie’s lips. “That’s right for months I’ve been sneaking off to get fucked in the back of his van or in his trailer or hell even on a picnic table. And you know what? He made me cum way more than you ever did not that it was hard with your grand total being zero!” I admitted causing a couple laughs to be heard. Scotty stood there looking like a fish out of water unsure of what to say.

“You cheated on me with him seriously?” Scotty asked disgust dripping from mentioning Eddie. Everyone was looking at me now shocked mumbling amongst the small crowd. I couldn’t stop the words from pouring out I was angry and exhausted from having to hide things for so long. “Yes I did and I’m sorry about that part but I’m not sorry for falling in love with him.” I sighed keeping my eyes focused on Eddie’s big brown eyes. Scotty scoffed shoving Eddie out of his grasp storming out of the cafeteria defeated.

Things were silent for a minute before everyone went back to their previous conversations and probably some new gossip. Eddie offered his hand out helping me down from the table. “Okay that was awesome.” He chuckled. “I didn’t embarrass you?” I asked worried. He shook his head snaking both his arms around my waist.

“No princess I loved it, never had someone confess their love to me in front of the whole school.” He boasted. I rolled my eyes giggling at his sudden pride. “So does um that mean your my girlfriend? Like I can kiss you in public and take you out on dates?” He asked suddenly nervous. “Yes Eddie I’d love to be your girlfriend.” I smiled kissing his cheek.

His eyes suddenly lit up again in that mischievous way they do.“You gotta come meet the guys now!” He cheered. He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to where the Hellfire club stood absolutely dumbfounded. “Guys I want you to meet my girl (Y/n).” He exclaimed sounding like a kid showing off his new toy but so much happier and prouder. “Hi guys.” I smiled giving an awkward wave.

[nikrangdan]

roommate!heeseung pt. 1

pairing: roommate!heeseung x female reader

genre: mini fic(?), fluff, comedy, tiny angst(one little sad part)

warnings: cursing!!! 

word count: 4.3k

description: i guess you just didnt realize you were in love with your roommate...... who has a girlfriend

————

“ow!”

you had just hit heeseung over the head after he said he would burn all of your plushies

your Precious. Plushies

hell no you’ve been collecting these since you were 11 no way in hell heeseung would threaten ur babies

you rolled your eyes and started to walk to the kitchen to get a snack

stupid heeseung

hes always saying stupid shit🙄

before you walked out though you noticed the look on his face

like he was contemplating something

“y/n... can you do me a favor?” he nervously uttered out before you walked out his door

“....what kind..?” you furrowed your brows

why was he being so cryptic

“uhh i need you to get flowers and chocolates for me from stacys....”

STACYS?????????

stacys was this fancy store 45 MINUTES AWAY..

“ur fucking serious?” you deadpanned

this was something new

in all your 8 months of living with him he had never asked you of a favor this big

for context.., you had moved to this city apartment for college 8 months ago but you couldn’t afford it without a roommate

but luckily you overheard a certain boy praying for an apartment while you were on campus

and you guessed it!!! it was heeseung

you two clicked easily and you were very thankful he was your roommate

after 4 months of living together he told you he got a girlfriend

you didnt really know about his campus life since you didnt have classes together and you never saw him walking around

you dont know why you were surprised when he told you... i mean have u seem Him.....

but nonetheless

u were like “Omg heeseung!!! thats great<3” like the supportive friend u were

yeah and that was that

you didnt meet the girl until another month later

Now that..... that was an experience......

FLASHBACK WHOOSH

*knock knock knock*

who tha hell was knocking at 7 in the morning.........

you staggered your way over to the front door with your matching hello kitty pajamas

and u open the door to see a blonde Lady who looks around your age

Why did u forget to look thru the little peephole in the door...... ur probably just tired whatever

anyways ur like

“uhm....”

and shes like

“? who are you.?”

and ur like

??!!?[\^€]€\��,_[+{*}*

“i live here....”

and shes like

“?...? oh sorry i thought my boyfriend lived here..”

and ur both just standing there like ;-;

shes all dressed up and u look like a childs room threw up on u

And thats when it hit u

“OH”

“are you heeseungs girlfriend?!!???” your hand raises up to point at her unconsciously

“ yes.. i am” she looked so lost it was so funny

“oh then you have the right place im sorry! hes my roommate” you scurry back into the apartment, gesturing for her to come in and close the door behind her

“what? he didnt tell me had a roommate..”

poor girl 😭😭😭

you quite literally pounce into heeseungs room and smack him while shes still standing outside awkwardly in the living room

“fucking idiot” smack to the face

“wake up” smack to the chest

“heeseung i swear to god” you shake his head

“are you fucking dead???? wake up!!!!” you pinch his ears really hard

that woke him up

“Ow ow ow ow OWWW y/n what the hell???” his eyes are forced open but theyre squinted due to the sunlight

“your girlfriend is here” you whisper-yell at him

“what???” he sat up so quickly you almost laughed

you were 90% sure she heard everything

oh well

his problem

he just stares into space for a second before his eyes go wide

ur just sitting on his bed waiting for him to do something like Uhhh

“shit i planned a date today oh my god” he jumped up from his bed and hastily told you to “stay put” before throwing on a hoodie, walking to see his girlfriend, and slamming his bedroom door leaving u sat on his bed

yes u were nosy Muahahahahah

so u pressed ur ear against the door to listen to their conversation

“sora, im so sorry i slept in late i promise ill make it up to you please baby dont be mad”

you had to stifle your laughter with your hand

God this was gold

“heeseung why didnt you tell me you lived with a girl.”

oooooooh hes in trouble you laugh to yourself

“ah about that.. im sorry i didnt tell you.. dont worry though, you know i only like you! shes just my roommate”

ouch

Why did that hurt 😪

“whatever heeseung.. ill call you later” and then you heard the door slam

already???? you were ready to get ur popcorn :///

you didnt even notice it had been a while before the door opened with you still leaning on it

boom u fell on the floor

“ow”

“shut up” he said before jumping face down on his bed

you stand up to lean against his door again, staring pitifully at the boy

“you okay?” you cross your arms

“mmm” he mumbles into his pillow

“you know i think i deserve a treat for being woken up at 7am on a sunday by your little girlfriend”

“little? shes taller than you” he turned around to lay on his back and chuckle

“oh so you’re making jokes right now when your girlfriend might break up with you?” you glare at him

“shes not gonna break up with me over something this little” he rolls his eyes and grabs his phone from his nightstand

“you know you’re a little piece of shit heeseung!” you yell out to him after you walked out of his room

“how?!” he yelled back

“treat your girlfriend better!”

he kept his mouth shut after that

yeah you two didnt talk for the rest of the day because he stayed in his room sulking or whatever

fast forward to now

Right after he asked u to get him the chocolates and flowers

“please y/n, sora is gonna be here in 2 hours and i need to get everything ready and i dont have enough time to do everything” he begged

WITH THOSE CUTE LITTLE PUPPY DOG EYES OF HIS GOD

“do you really need them from stacys though???” you whined

he just huffed and glared at you “yes! sora only likes them from there.”

“nuh uh mister dont give me that look” you narrow your eyes at him

he immediately stops his glare and tries to look neutral

it almost made you laugh

you just looked at him for a few seconds before giving up

“fine. but what am i getting in return?”

his eyes lit up and traveled up as he was in thought

“hmmm ill buy you food whenever you want for a month”

Wow

“woah thats more than i bargained for but deal!” he didnt realize that until after you shook his hand, very enthusiastically might i add

Lol

so now you were on your way home with the MASSIVE bouquet of roses and beautifully wrapped chocolates sitting nice and snug in the passenger seat of your car

these two things costed $115

oh well its heeseungs money not yours

you found it amusing because heeseung was nowhere near rich so where was he finding this money to blow

over an hour later and ur finally back home

u open the door

u struggled very much btw

almost dropped everything haha

but woah......

your eyes widened and your mouth fell open

“heeseung? you didn’t tell me you two were having the date here..”

as soon as you walked in you smelled a pretty scent and the lighting was dim

it was beautiful

there were candles lit on every surface

rose petals were scattered messily everywhere

the two seater dining table was topped with elegant decor

there was quiet jazz music playing from his speaker

the familiar aroma of your favorite food hit you

standing there in your apartment didnt feel real

it felt like you were in a dream

you couldnt believe your apartment could turn into room from a fairytale

you were never one to be into disney princesses and fantasies

but for the first time ever you almost wished for a prince charming yourself

you almost got lost in a trance

and then....

the boy himself walked out

donned in an all black suit with a sliver of the white undershirt peeking underneath and the white tie

his bangs were covering his forehead and you noticed he styled them to be wavy

he had his earrings in and rings were present on 3 of his fingers

he looked absolutely dazzling

you dont know how or why.. but your heart began to race

why did this feel like it was for you...?

you wanted to be his disney princess

staring at him wistfully, it felt like time had stopped

“oh thanks y/n, i almost thought you ditched me” he chuckled quickly

he was frantic and out of breath as he snatched the things out of your hand

“right!” he began as he sped around the room setting everything up

“im sorry but i forgot to ask if you could leave for today. im such an idiot, im sorry y/n.. you can stay at a friends house or something for the night?” he didnt even look at you as he perfected the chocolates on the counter and the plates on the table

you couldnt help but notice your heart clench and your stomach twist at his words

you were still glued to your spot infront of the door

“o-oh! yeah, okay thats fine ill get my stuff now” you scurry to your room

you speedily threw some clothes and necessities in a bag before walking back to him

“hey..”

he didnt look at you

“helloooo”

“heeseung” you poke him

he finally turned to you

“sorry what?” he gazed down at you with big eyes

“its okay.. just wanted to let you know im leaving now” you give him a small smile

“oh right! thank you y/n again” he grinned

his pretty smile

“you look great by the way... have fun” you manage to say before slipping out the door

you didnt let him reply back because if you stayed in there a second longer you think you would’ve fallen in love with him

where did these feelings come from...?

you smack yourself on your forehead as youre walking down the steps to your car

ur probably just feeling like this because no man has ever done anything like that for u

and seeing it in real life made u want a bf 😟😟

yeah... thats it

so now ur at sunoos house

a close friend from your finance class

he lives in his parents house but theyre never home so he basically owns the place and doesn’t have to pay for it

Yeah u kinda envy the boy

but you love him because hes great

“y/n ..do you like him????” sunoo gasps

you guys are watching tangled for the 10th time and you were explaining what happened back at your apartment

“what? where did you get that from?” you snort, your eyes still focused on the movie

you could literally feel his eyes piercing into your soul with that stare

“the way you were telling me that story.... you sounded a bit jealous if i do say so myself..” he raises his eyebrow and leans back into the couch

“i do not like heeseung, sunoo” your eyes roll and you turn to look at him finally

he has a little smirk as he looks at u suspiciously

“hmmm okay, i get it” he raises his arms in defense and surrenders “you don’t wanna talk about it”

you scoff and laugh at his actions “you’re so annoying”

so ..*time skip* lol

you slept at sunoos for the night

it wasnt anything new bc u used to stay at his alot while u were in the process of moving into your apartment

one of his guest rooms is practically urs bc u have some decorations and spare clothes there :P

when you woke up that sunday morning you realized you forgot to set an alarm

so now its like 11am

well its not like you needed to be home so you shrugged it off

“morning” u said to sunoo when u saw him sitting on the couch watching wreck it ralph

boy loves his movies

“when are you going home?”

“wow rude.... not even a good morning back??” you found him amusing

“sorry, good morning. when are you going home” he turned his head to look at you

it made you laugh

Sunoo is so funny u love him

“do u wanna get rid of me that bad??? i hate you”

“ni-ki and jungwon are coming over today and i dont want you smothering them like you always do” he playfully glares at you

NI-KI AND JUNGWON???!!!??!!!!!!

“MY BABIES????” you exclaim and jump on the couch next to sunoo

“yes” he exasperatingly says

“now leave before they get here”

“WHAT?? no im staying because i wanna see them”

“NO!!!! now get out of my house y/n”

“why not?!!???! sunoo please i bet they miss me so much”

“y/n please.. they do NOT miss you”

“they literally do i always make them cookies and theyre like y/n ur so cool we love you”

“u mustve been hallucinating....”

“sunoo please please please i dont wanna go home” u tried to muster up the cutest puppy dog eyes ever

he looked at your face for a moment

“no u look ugly”

“YOU’RE SO ANNOYING” you push him

“theyre coming back tomorrow you can come then! today is boys night”

“boys night?” you snort “what the fuck are u kids gonna do that i cant be around for?”

“SHUT UP Y/N get out of my house!” he just starts to drag you out of his house himself

“ow oW OKAY fine ill leave... have fun doing.. whatever you’re gonna do” you grab your bag and start to head for the door

sunoo slams the door in ur face after he says “bye dont come back please” 😭😭😭

“asshole!” u yell to him thru the door

you just huff and stand on his porch for a second

you wonder if heeseung still has his girlfriend over and decide to text him

y/n🦧: hi can i come back home

welp

now ur sitting on sunoos porch waiting for a reply

10  minutes pass while ur scrolling on your phone and still no reply

you look up when you hear the front door open

“why are you still here?” sunoo frowns at you

“heeseung didnt answer my text and i dont wanna go back if his girlfriend is still there” you reply

“go home y/n plz.... i lied jungwon and ni-ki arent coming over.. my grandparents are” he tries to shoo you away

“why would you lie about that” you laugh

“theyre really mean! but you can come back tomorrow because the boys are actually gonna be here.. now go because my grumpy grandparents are gonna be here in like 5 minutes” he guides your shoulders down his porch

“ugh.. if his girlfriend is still there its your fault” you pout

“wha- how is that my- whatever y/n go home!!!”

when you drive off you dramatically wave your hand to him trying to show how desperately you did not wanna go home

sunoo just giggles and runs back inside

you drove home extra slow Lol

and now you were at the door contemplating whether or not you just make a run for it

but u said fuck it because u missed the comforts of ur own room

well u knocked a little before unlocking the door

how embarrassing to be knocking on the door of ur own home 💀

you didnt get an immediate answer so u just stood outside in the apartment hallway....waiting....

after waiting for like 30 seconds (because ur impatient) you knock again

well i tried to be nice you thought

you finally gave up and unlocked the door with your keys, kind of slowly opening the door to peek in

hmmm.... nothing

the sun was emitting some rays of light through one of the windows but none of the lights were on

and why was there food still on the table..?

you were kind of afraid to go see heeseung 

but

you did notice one thing

there wasn’t a pair of shoes u didnt recognize sitting on the rack by the door 

so... is his girlfriend not here or did she bring her shoes to his room lol..

“hello?” you unconfidently called out to nobody in particular

no answer

you slipped your shoes off quietly and tiptoed towards the hallway that included both of your rooms across from eachother

the kitchen and living room looked untouched 

to describe u being confused would be an understatement

you set your bag down on your bed and then made your way to heeseung.. just to check on him

you were genuinely so confused rn

you thought they would be cuddling on the couch or talking in his room or something but it was dead silent throughout the house

“heeseung?” you soft knocked on the door of his bedroom

surely he couldnt still be asleep.. it was noon on a monday and heeseung would normally be up by 10 because he said he would “start being a more productive man” as he said it

you always laughed at him because he used to wake up at like 3pm on days he didnt have class

anyways you didnt get an answer which was slightly concerning because you didnt forget to take note that you saw his car in the parking garage when you arrived

“i’m coming in” you called out to him before twisting the knob and pushing the door open

you realized you might be crossing a line and he’d get upset at you for invading his privacy but you were honestly worried for your friend

at first you didn’t see him

his room was empty, not a single person in sight

that is until you further examined the big lump on his bed

“heeseung? what...” you walked over to the lump that you only knew was him because you could see a bit of his hair peeking out from the top

“um.. am i interrupting something..” you awkwardly said, debating whether or not to go closer

he wasn’t saying anything so you guessed he was sleeping

how odd for him

you wanted to just check real quick and then you’d leave his room

so your feet padded softly against his wooden floor as you made your way over to him

and you bent down a little to kind of tug the huge blanket away from his face

as you got closer you also noticed his girlfriend wasnt here

the first thing you noticed was that he was definitely not asleep

your eyes widened and your hand instinctively went to his face to cup his cheek

“are you okay?! why are you crying?” you quickly asked, your eyebrows were furrowed in worry

in your months living with him you have never seen him show any emotional feelings in front of you and it almost made you panic

his eyes locked onto yours before he looked away from you and closed his eyes

he still hasnt said anything and you really didnt know what to do in this situation

you took your hand off his cheek before sighing

now you’re just sat on the side of his bed just looking at him.. wondering what to do

you were sure he wasn’t sleeping even though his eyes were shut and he wouldnt move

but you sat there for 5 minutes and he didnt seem to mind

“sora broke up with me” 

he finally broke the silence

...

you didnt know what to say

you couldnt ask if he was okay when he obviously wasnt

“do you wanna talk about it? you looked over to heeseung to see him staring at you

“not really” he broke eye contact once again and looked up towards the ceiling

“later i will.. just not now” he breathed out

you nodded at that, understanding his situation

you felt terrible for the boy

his eyes were red and his voice was all nasally like he’d been crying

“i’ll leave you alone now..” you patted his big blanket fluff to lighten the mood and walked out his stuffy room

hours had passed while he was stuck in that room and you didnt know what to do 

it was 7pm already

you spent the day watching tv in the living room 

but it was dinner time and you made ramen (his fav!!!) in hopes that he would come out of there

“heeseung you’ve gotta eat” you knock on his door again

you had told him to eat at 2 earlier but he insisted that he wasnt hungry

you were surprised when he instantly opened the door and your hand was still in midair as you were knocking

if your hand moved an inch you wouldve been knocking on his chest which you found very funny but you didnt think this was the right time for jokes

“hi” you looked up at him

he was wearing his purple beanie with sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt

he definitely looked better than he did this morning which you thanked god for

“hey” he gave u this look :]

“you okay? i made ramen.. can you smell it” you kinda giggled

“yeah, thanks” he tried to send you a small smile which you were thankful for

“okay well come eat because i worked very hard on it” you turned on your heels and went towards the tiny kitchen island with two seats

he followed you and sat next to you as you gave him his bowl and chopsticks

“bon appetit!” you clapped your hands before digging in

you were proud of urself ngl... the ramen was smacking

“thank you y/n” he said softly

you refused to admit it but he was.. So Cute

“no problem, just eat” you grinned

and you two ate in silence for a good 15 minutes

he said he would do the dishes after you were done which was relieving because you wanted to go jump in your bed and watch tiktoks very badly

there was a slight awkwardness in the air too so you wanted to let that cool off too

so now you were cuddled up in our bed with your phone very close, almost too close, to your face

and you could hear the sink running as heeseung washed the dishes

you silently prayed he was feeling better and that he would be over it soon

the sink turned off and you could hear his footsteps coming towards the hallway

what surprised you was that you heard knocks on your bedroom door

“can i come in?” he asked

“yeah its open” you replied

u had to get out of ur blanket cocoon :///

you watched him stride over to sit next you on your bed

he even got under the covers and laid down like dang lmao u getting comfy i guess

“whats up?” you were sitting up while he was laying on your pillows

“so.. she broke up with me last night” he spoke while hugging one of your plushies

oh OHH so this is what this is about

“oh.. are you feeling better now?”

“yeah i think.. we only dated for 4 months but i really liked her....”

“did she say why she did?” you asked

“she said she found someone else. i dont know if you know this but shes a year older than me and she told me she wasnt into younger guys which doesnt even make any sense because her ex was younger than her too and-”

“okay heeseung” you laugh “people are like that, you just gotta deal with it”

“yeah yeah, i know” he sighed “i dont know.. i dont know if im sad i lost her or if im sad over the fact that i dont have a girlfriend anymore”

“was she your first girlfriend?”

“me? y/n” he laughed “ive had plenty before”

“oh” you didnt even wanna ask

“why? have you never had a boyfriend or something?” he joked

“no....” you trailed off, unable to look him in the eye out of embarrassment

you were never even embarrassed about that but for some reason admitting it to heeseung made you shy

“what?! no way” he was actually shocked

“yes way now can we change the topic this is terrible” you roll your eyes and shove a plushie in his face

“awee little y/n” he teased you

“get out” you snickered

“okay okay fine.. but yeah i think i’ll be okay. she broke up with me as soon as she got here so all of my planning was for nothing. i think that was what devastated me the most, i had no one to eat with”

you wanted to yell I LITERALLY EXIST soooo bad

Why is he so stupid....... 

“thats sad...” you said

you wanted to laugh at your reply bc what else could you say

“yeah anyways you dont have to worry about taking care of me while im sulking or whatever im cool now’

“well that was quick.. you were acting like a baby this morning now ur this tuff guy” you tease

“yeah yeah i dont even know why i was acting like that” his cheeks went pink

“im just kidding” you send a small smile his way “you know im always here for you right? dont be afraid to be a little emotional sometimes” you reach over to pat his head

“thanks y/n” he smiles “you’re a really great friend”

ouch

yeah.. friend

[hotwings0203]

Aight aight let’s go part two this time it’s Muslim!Bakugo HCS

Again, this all all just jokes and I know they aren’t actually Muslim characters lol

-this man is KNOWN for screaming takbir in the mosque

-when the mosque organizers ask him to make announcements after namaz they always choose him to speak because everyone listens to him out of fear…except for the Bakusquad ofc. I can imagine Denki and Sero making stupid faces at him and flicking him off when Bakugo is talking abt making more donations, and they made sure they’re sitting in the back so no one can see them mess with him. He gets so mad when they make obscene gestures that he loses his train of thought and starts screaming at them in the microphone. Needless to say, the bakusquad was banned from playing basketball outside as punishment

-if he ever volunteers as a Sunday School teacher, it’s a catch 22. All the little kids are so intimidated by him that they’ll never outright cause mischief during class, but whoooo boy, let him teach Quran to a third grader and this man loses his temper.

“What do you mean it’s hard to pronounce?? It’s KKKHHHHHaah, not HHHHHaah. Do you want me to move you down a level? No? Then stop crying and read it properly, dammit!”

-He’s seldom picked to lead the jummah namaz because his voice is too monotone, and because of the rest of the bakusquad who are adamant on standing right behind him. One time, he was praying salah, microphone clipped right on his collar and everything. Not even a minute after reading the adhan the rest of the prayer hall heard his voice cut off suddenly and a big thud…indicating Denki kicking the back of his legs and making him fall face/first on the carpet. It took all his self control to stand back up and continue reciting, no matter how hard his body was trebling in rage at Sero and Kirishima’s muffled guffaws

-Definitely the type to snatch the tasbeeh right from a kids hand if they take it from him first. Absolutely no maturity, just glares at them right in front of all the aunties, no shame at all.

-He’s the first chosen to lift heavy chairs and carry them to the ladies hall because 1) he barely breaks a sweat, and 2) is surprisingly the most respectful of keeping his eyes lowered in the presence of a lady.

-SUPERRR competitive with Deku in terms of praying and fasting. I mean, if Deku even ANNOUNCES that he’s getting up to read Zuhr, Bakugo is already zooming to set the namaz chadar out and rushing through adhan.

-Will also get up at the crack of dawn during Ramadhan before everyone else and go on his morning run WITHOUT EATING anything…it’s impressive how quickly he comes back and barely has time to scarf down some eggs and milk that will last him the whole 8 hours(which he has no problem in shoving everyone’s face)

-HATES Eid namaz. I mean, he already has PTSD from the bakusquad embarassing him during jummah but in a hall of hundreds of other people, including screaming kids and uncles with no sense of personal space? Hell no, this man is gritting his teeth and leaving scorch marks on his white kurta when he’s squished between a kid who keeps unsubtly wiping his boogers on the floor next to him and an uncle who, every time he coughs, has to make a big show of swinging his elbows up and coughing into his arm…and every time he managed to catch Katsuki off guard, his bigass meaty limb prodding into his rib cage.

-And to backtrack a little, I know damn well this boy has ruined almost every single on of his fasts with his temper. His mom displaces his shirt? An explosion from his hand is followed by a slap from his mom, BOOM, two fasts ruined at the same time. Which leads to more yelling and accusations, with poor Masaru on the prayer mat, tears in his squeezed shut eyes as he begs god to spare his two favorite demons from hellfire

-when he’s called up go around the room with the donation basket, he grits out to the Bakusquad to not be cheap and put some dough in the basket. Denki and Sero are wiping tears from their eyes from laughing so hard at Bakugo’s humiliation from trudging around the room while Kirishima chides them and puts 10$ in, just to make Katsuki feel less embarrassed.

“Alright, alright I’ll put one in,” Denki catches his breath and slyly puts his hand in to give a dollar…but the same dollar is snatched back from Sero’s tape.

Katsuki scowls, “‘The fuck are you doing you idiot? Put that shit back.”

Sero and Denki tut.

“Now, is that the sort of language we should be hearing from a mosque volunteer?”

But they stop laughing when the handles of the basket start steaming under their friends’ palms.

“Chill out , I just wanted to put it in myself.” Sero nervously chuckles under Bakugo’s scrutiny and edges his hand forward to put the dollar in.

He’s immediately zapped by Kaminari who grabs the green back.

“Hey, no stealing, go get your own dollar broke boy.”

“That’s not very nice of you Brother Denki”

They keep messing with him and argue over who gets to put the dollar in, while Kirishima hardens his body and forces the about-to-charge-Bakugo backwards from blowing both dunces’ heads off

[paisley-print]

7:00am / Get The Directions

Jack and you try to build an IKEA bookcase. 

Rating: SFW

Characters: Agent Whiskey x Reader

Warnings: Vomit, pregnancy, fluff, dirty talk, implied past sexual encounters. 

Word Count: 918

MIDNIGHT MASTER LIST

NOTE: This is short and sweet since the next chapter is pretty long and has some smut. Also I’m not sure if I ever gave Jack a full name. I gave his son a name and assumed they would have the same one...if I did give Jack a full name please tell me lol.  

“Well, where did you put the directions?”

Jack was on the floor, kneeling in front of a pile of wood, screws, cardboard and Styrofoam. It was a Sunday, and the two of you were spending some time at the shop. This had been the case for the last two weekends. Both of you working from morning to night, trying to get things ready for the grand opening in a few weeks. 

Originally, your plan had been to wait another six months before opening, but with the news of the baby, Jack and you decided it was better to get it done sooner rather than later. That way, when the baby came, you would have a trained staff that could take over while you were out on maternity leave. 

“Darlin’ I am a Statesman agent. Do you know what that means?”

You placed your hands in the pockets of your overalls - wishing you were allowed coffee. “You’re a less cool version of the FBI?”

“No.”

You paused “...you’re all alcoholics?”

He cut you off “-It means, that I think I can figure out how to build one silly bookcase without having to look at the gosh darn directions.”

You raised your eyebrows, smirking. “You’ve been at it for thirty minutes.”

“Gotta familiarize myself with the pieces. Get her warmed up. You know how it is,” he shot you a little wink.

 “So, you’re gonna fuck the bookcase?”

“Mam” he said, setting down the piece he was holding and placing his hands on his hips all sassy. 

You giggled and swiveled on your roller chair a little. 

Jack continued to act as if he was annoyed. You knew he was just playing. “I would like to point out. That this is a lot of talk for a woman who is just sitting there watching.’”

The last two weeks had been hard on you, you suffered from very severe morning sickness. The doctor said it was normal, for most it went away after the first trimester but for some women it persisted throughout the whole pregnancy. You prayed it was only temporary. 

Jack had been wonderful. He would sit up with you at night, even though you told him it was okay to go to bed. You could see how tired he was in the mornings, or the way he took a nap on the couch for an hour after he got home. 

He never complained, not once. He would sit there with you, rubbing your back and telling random stories from work to keep your mind occupied. He had also taken over most of the cooking since you could hardly stomach even a peek into the fridge. 

He was always encouraging you to eat in order to keep your weight up. Making you little snacks when he was home and placing them in front of you and not getting up from the table until you finished at least half of what was on your plate. He didn’t want you sitting there alone- so he would watch Sports Center from the table. 

“Well, if you would let me help, then I wouldn’t just be watching,” you pointed out, standing and walking over to him.

“I gave you a job,” he said.

“Sitting here and-” you put your fingers into air quotes “ ‘Looking pretty’ is not a job Jack.”

He pursed his lips and mumbled. “Well, thank god cuz if it were you’d be fired-”

“JACKSON HENRY DANIELS” 

He backtracked immediately, “wha- you know I didn’t mean it like that, sugar! It’s because you’re standing!”

You crossed your arms and pretended to be mad. “Telling your pregnant fiance that she is - ugly. A new low…. I don’t know If it can ever be forgiven.”

He hooked his thumbs into the belt loops of your overalls to pull you closer. A brief smile cracked through your pretend frown. “Well, what If I told you that you were the prettiest girl in town?”

“Nope. Not good enough.”

“The world?”

You glanced down at him “better.”

“The universe.” 

You thought for a moment, “I guess I’ll take it.”

He smiled and leaned in for a hug, head pressing against your belly. You combed through his hair with your fingers, engagement ring sparkling under the fluorescent lights. “Jack?”

“Yeah sugar?”

“If you don’t get the directions, I’m going to kick your ass.”

“I’d like to see you try darlin” he smiled and turned to kiss your belly.

You weren’t showing at all, but ever since he found out Jack’s hand seemed to find a permanent place on your stomach. Whether it be during car rides, watching TV, or standing in line at the store… it was there. You had gotten annoyed and swatted it away on multiple occasions when he did it in public. Fearing that people would find out before you were ready to announce it. 

You didn’t mind when you were at home. You knew he was worried, and it calmed his anxiety to touch you. Half the time he didn’t even realize he was doing it. You found it incredibly sweet. Especially the way he reached for you at night when he was drifting in and out of sleep.

You didn’t think it was possible to love somebody so deeply, and yet you managed to fall a little more in love with him every single day. “The longer you take to do this, the longer it is until I have sex with you behind the building like you asked.”

“Get the directions.”

[whatifxwereyou]

The Oncoming Storm Part 21: Huangshan

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

Listen, I am giving myself whiplash with how much I keep wildly swinging between whether I prefer Liu or Lao LOL. Hope you guys are having just as much fun! I missed Liu. Lawd, did I miss him. Also I did not intend for it to take this long to get to the CHOICE. It's coming after the part with Liu and some plot stuff that has to happen to trigger it! Also, I miss Chen, so she'll be back after Huangshan. ALSO have you looked at pictures of this place?? SO PRETTY!! Much love, hope you are all well. <3 Thank you for the love as always. I appreciate you so much.

Next Update on Saturday. New story on Sunday!!

Part 20 Part 22 Chapter Index

Kung Lao was a bruised, bloodied, and pale mess the next morning and much of your spare moments were spent tending to wounds and trying to get him to sit for a damn minute. He fought you at every second, as if taking care of himself would somehow make it worse.

The morning dragged on, and you were grateful to check out and make your way to the roof. Kung Lao closed his eyes, praying, and lightning struck the roof for you to travel through. It was still weird and a little beyond belief, but you’d fought a monster last night, so you had to suspend your inner skeptic and go with the flow. You handed over the carefully wrapped bell which Raiden set behind him on a pedestal that had been added since you left.

He thanked you for your duty and you offered Kung Lao a hug and tried to convince him, again, to take care of himself. He insisted he was fine, of course, but also wished you good luck. You wasted no time. Raiden summoned his magic lightning again, offered you a neatly written note from Liu, and then you were alone.

The weather in Huangshan was gloomy, just the way you liked it. The sky was gray and rumbling with thunder, the slightest hint of sun peeking through to offer warmth between the gaps in the clouds. You unfolded the note as you walked along the tourist filled streets. He’d even started the note with niceties. Oh, Liu. He hoped you were well, he found you a place to stay and took some liberties that he hoped you were okay with. He also left you a time and place to meet him. It was the lobby of the hotel that he had booked for the occasion.

You were early and it felt nice to be alone. Your nerves were shot from the lack of sleep the night before and from Kung Lao’s… everything. A walk alone would do you some good. The small town halfway up the mountain was geared toward tourists. Hotels, boutiques, restaurants, and the like.

You’d missed China. Japan had been beautiful but this was home.

You stopped a man who looked confident in his way around town and asked him for directions to the hotel that Liu had written about. You bowed politely as he pointed you in the right direction. As you turned the corner, you heard a choir of angels in your head. Clothing stores. Real clothing stores. This was how you were going to blow the rest of your money.

You spent the rest of your alone time shopping and afterward you were proud to say you’d had enough clothing for an actual wardrobe. Different kinds of shoes, cute and practical, underthings, things to wear to bed, casual things, dressy things. Things you never would have allowed yourself to spend money on before. Money didn’t seem to matter as much as it had before all this. Then you’d bought a little bag to pack it all in and shoved it away. You’d got some other necessities too, things that had seemed everyday basics had become luxuries.

You’d changed after purchasing your clothing and jeans and a t-shirt had never felt so good. Even though you’d bought a bunch of new things you decided to keep the hanfu and gi that you had been gifted. You liked them well enough. It was the lack of choice that had bothered you.

The Huangshan Yeechoi hotel was more modern than the one in Japan had been and much tidier. You felt out of place, but no one gave you a second glance, so you were grateful. It wasn’t that it was fancy, just that it was different than you had expected. There had been no room number in the note Liu had left you, just instructions to meet him in the lobby.

Thankfully, Liu Kang came from the stairwell moments after you arrived. You’d been just about to ask the clerk behind the desk for his room number and so instead you dismissed the clerk and walked to join Liu. He’d gotten new clothes too! How nice. Not much different from what he usually wore but it was novel to see him in something other than the three gi that he rotated daily. It was mostly black, except for the red sash around the middle, a different shade of red than usual, and the sleeves looked like they had been torn off- as if he had been terribly angry that they existed. There was a subtle pattern stitched in white on the side of the gi. It looked to you like an abstract dragon, but you didn’t linger long on it. As always, his prayer beads were wrapped around his wrist.

He greeted you with a smile and stopped just before you with a respectful bow. “It’s good to see you, Y/N.” His smile faded quickly as he stood upright, and you averted your eyes immediately. Bruises. There were bruises and you knew he was going to hate it. You’d briefly forgotten about them with all the other craziness.

“Good to see you too, Liu!” You tried to save face, but it was too late.

“Japan must have been something.” He furrowed his brow with concern and tilted your chin up to get a better look at your neck. Your face was instantly red. “Are you okay?” That had been the worst of it, but you’d barely had time to think of it that morning because Kung Lao had been so much worse off than you were. You should have worn a scarf. Damnit. It looked bad when you thought about it. Like you were either being abused or had a very specific kink.

“It was an adventure but I’m fine. I promise. It’s obviously sore and bruised but I feel great otherwise.” You were tired, so that was an exaggeration, but it felt good to have accomplished something and to be out of the temple. He continued to examine the bruise as if he didn’t believe you, so you swiped his hand from your chin, gave it a squeeze and then set it down. His disbelief faded and his smile returned. Your nerves about your connection, your friendship, returned screaming into your brain.

“You brought a bag?” He gestured behind you. You realized that probably seemed funny since you had no intention of staying for too long.

“…yes.”

“Well, the woman at the front desk will make sure it gets to our room. We have plenty to do.” Liu rested his hand on the middle of your back and guided you to the front desk. You spoke to the clerk there. She was incredibly accommodating. Liu offered her your room information and you handed over the bag. Then you went on your way. He led you from the lobby of the hotel and walked slowly through the streets of the tourist town. “Tell me about Japan.”

Boy, there was a lot to say about Japan, but you figured he probably meant the artifact and how you’d fared.

“There was a monster which I didn’t think existed so, processing that.” You were surprised to hear Liu Kang laugh. You’d had a lot to process that had been otherwise beyond belief. “It was protecting a dotaku which I now know is a decorative bell used in rituals during ancient times. The monster was very grabby.” You gestured to your neck. At least it hadn’t left a bruise when it had backhanded you across the room. The last thing you needed was people looking at you like you were in an abusive relationship. At least the neck thing could be explained away for the most part.

“Tell me about the monster.”

“Monster is maybe not the right word for it uh… okay, never mind, it’s the only word for it. It was made from tar and stunk to high heaven, and it was huge.” You jumped so you could reach the height of the monster, which was higher than your jump, but Liu would get the point. He was an excellent listener.

“How did Kung Lao handle that?”

“Oh, you know, like Kung Lao does.”

“Chaotically?” Liu chuckled.

“I’ve never seen one man thrown through so many doors.” You drifted off and he laughed again. The sound of his laughter was sweet, not as hearty as Lao’s but more under his breath and twisting his face into the cutest smile. You’d made Kung Lao out of ink to protect you. That seemed important but you hadn’t processed it yet, really. Your brain was buffering.

“Really though, is he okay?”

“Much worse off than I was because of all the doors and walls but I took care of him the best he would allow. I’m hoping he’ll actually keep his promise to go to the infirmary.”

“Raiden will make sure he does.” Liu reassured you. “Trust me, this won’t be the first time he has to be dragged there. Or likely the last.” He stopped, looked you over and then continued, purposely avoiding eye contact. “Was he on his best behavior?”

“Is he so often in trouble that I should have been that worried?”

“Kung Lao doesn’t like to listen to directions, and he was with you and I know how he is so…” He glanced at you curiously again and you laughed in disbelief. Liu Kang was fishing for information! Interesting. Now that you knew they gossiped about you, you wondered what exactly the gossip consisted of. They were up to something, and you were going to get to the bottom of it. Maybe you had spent too much time with Kung Lao. Liu Kang had always been honest with you, you thought, and now you were suspicious of every word. “He has a track record for trouble, that’s all. I just wanted to make sure he didn’t give you a hard time.”

“If you have something to ask me, Liu, then you should just ask me instead of this little word dance you’re doing. Are you feeling me out for information and what about?”

“I say what I mean, Y/N.” Liu knit his brow in confusion but still smiled at you. You sighed because that didn’t seem right. Something was off. He could be frustrating too sometimes, you supposed. He had a way of saying things without saying what he meant to say and leaving you guessing at what he had meant. You’d had so many close calls between you now romantically. At least four that you could think of offhand that had nearly killed you. But then it was like nothing had happened. You didn’t talk about it. There was no follow through. If he said what he meant to say, then what did saying nothing mean?

That hurt.

And they’d gossiped about you. Kung Lao and Liu Kang had in some way gossiped about you. You clenched your jaw in frustration. You didn’t have time for this. You had work to do.

“We can talk about it later.” You decided. “Have you figured out anything about where we should go?” That had been the reason he’d gone early you’d been told but you had no idea what was true and what wasn’t anymore. Your head was mixed up and your brain was buzzing.

“Yes. One of the areas from your vision is called the Seas of Cloud. Raiden mentioned that you saw images of deceased emperors, so I was looking into that too.”

“It was in quick flashes. I didn’t understand what they were at first.”

“There are tales about this place and the yellow emperor after which it is named. He used the waters of the springs here to gain eternal life in these stories.”

“Is that your way of saying that you think the springs might be related?”

“Anything is possible, but I figured it was worth looking into. There were springs in your vision too if I recall.”

“Yeah. I saw a bunch of dead emperors and a spring, but it wasn’t… it was different than I expect the ones here to be? It was in a cavern. It felt secret.” You admired the gray sky but still felt tense all over. You had to breathe and let it go but the more you tried the more frustrated you became. “So, we’re narrowing it down to the springs and the Cloud Sea?”

“Yes. We aren’t too far from either of them but it’s still an endeavor to explore. Yet, it is less than the whole of Huangshan.”

“Probably somewhere between if I had to guess. I followed him in my vision through the mountains up to the clouds and into this cavern that had a spring inside it. Oh! Do they have maps of the mountain? Sometimes with places like this they will list caves on the little brochure to explore.”

“I thought of that. Regrettably, the caves are not mapped out and most are off limits without a tour guide.”

“What if we told them that we lived in a cave. Do you think that would help or cast aspersions?” You considered. There you were, trying to defer your frustration and inner struggle with sarcasm again. Liu chuckled.

“Probably the latter. We know what we’re looking for at least and it shouldn’t take terribly long to hike the area. If we don’t find it then we can start to worry.”

“I have a feeling that it’s secret. I don’t think it’s going to be easy to find. Maybe we should try to feel around for information instead of wandering blind?” You stopped walking, trying to take things more seriously. That was hard.

“I suppose that we can play tourist. We’ll stop at the springs and ask an attendant if they know anything about a secret or hidden spring in the caves.” Liu suggested. At least it was a better lie than fake date.

“Fine.” You said flatly and were annoyed with yourself almost immediately. This would be so much easier if your visions weren’t all over the place and fuzzy.

“You seem irritated.”

“Oh?” You bounced on your heels and shook it off. You were sulking. You had to cut it out. “No. I’m sorry, Liu. I didn’t mean to come off that way.”

“Are you sure, Y/N? Because you seem… annoyed and that’s not like you. If I’ve done something to offend you then we should discuss it.”

Oh no. He was good at confrontation. Damnit. “No, you didn’t do anything like that, Liu.” He had but not on purpose, you were sure. You were just touchy after the day before and overthinking. You had to stomp out that inner voice, but it was so loud. Your anxiety hadn’t been this bad since you were a kid. “I’m annoyed with myself. I’m sorry it’s coming out at you. It’s not intentional.”

“Y/N, you…”

“Don’t tell me not to be annoyed with myself, please. If I could navigate these visions in a way that made sense, then we wouldn’t be so lost on where to look and having to spin ridiculous tales and theories of where to go and what we might find. I could just lead us there and that would be that. And if my brain would just calm down, I wouldn’t be so annoyed. It’s a perpetual cycle.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself. Besides, I don’t mind spending a day or two in Huangshan with you, Y/N. It’s a nice change of pace from Raiden’s Temple.” He smiled sympathetically.

“It’s just like you to put a positive spin on everything.” You scoffed.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing!”

“No!” You huffed defensively and then pouted. “I’m coming off grumpy, aren’t I?”

“You are.” He smiled, but amusement danced in his eyes. He thought that your frustration was either funny or cute. You supposed you were grateful for that.

“I don’t mean to. I’ve got a lot on my mind. I’m surprisingly sore from the whole monster thing too so there’s that.” You rubbed nervously at your neck.

“That is a pretty bad bruise, Y/N.” He tilted your chin up again and you grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

“I really should have worn a scarf so you wouldn’t keep pointing it out.”

He laughed and led you through town and along the path that went to the springs. Liu had picked the perfect location for you to begin your search. It was a short walk from your hotel. There were buses that offered transport, but it seemed such a short walk that it was likely for those who were elderly or drunk.

“This is a popular tourist spot. It was difficult to get a room. I don’t usually stay in places like that, but it was the only vacancy that would accommodate us both and be close enough to where we needed to look. I figured that we didn’t know how long it would take us so the luxury would be a nice break.”

“Makes sense.” Why was he trying to justify his selection to you? You liked the hotel. It was nice.

“Grumpy,” he whispered, leaning close on one foot with his hands clasped behind his back.

“I’m trying so hard, Liu.”

You reached the gate to the springs. You couldn’t see the water beyond it, but you could hear people within, and you could feel the steam and heat even from outside. There was a large building with two doors separated by male and female for changing. In front of that was a booth where a young man sat reading a magazine and looking extremely bored.

“Should I meet you inside? We can see if anyone knows anything?”

“Or we could try the attendant first.”

“Him? He’s a distracted kid who has no interest in our questions, Liu. Look at him.” You nodded discreetly toward the young man. He was likely in his early twenties and doing this just for a paycheck by the look of him.

“Yes, but you’re well… you.” He gestured to you, and you looked down at yourself, brow furrowed in confusion.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You laughed in disbelief.

“You know what it means.” He turned his gaze away from you, hiding his smile but you saw his cheeks turn pink just enough. As quickly as you had noticed it, it had passed. “Now, go be charming and ask that kid about a private spring in a cavern closer to the Seas of Cloud.” He grasped your shoulders gently and turned you toward the booth then gave you a gentle nudge forward. You stuttered on your words and stared forward in complete awe. What the fuck?

Fine. You’d try but he was biased, at the very least. You weren’t built for this kind of thing. You’d always been awkward and terrible at flirting. Gah, you were blushing now too. This was the worst. Okay, deep breaths. You could do this. You didn’t have to be flirty or cute. You could just ask the question. Liu waited behind you, but you didn’t think he was far enough away to be as subtle as he thought he was being.

“Excuse me,” you began politely.

“Just you? Or your friend too?” The attendant didn’t bother looking up at you from the magazine that he was reading.

“I have a question for you, actually.”

“I’ll try to help if I can. Go ahead.” He closed his magazine and finally looked up at you, looked you over, and then was still clearly disinterested. He was working. You knew he would be!

“I heard some stories that there’s a spring in a cavern offsite. Further up the mountain and closer to the Seas of Cloud. I think that it’s considered private. Maybe even off-limits. I was curious if you knew anything about it.” You did your best to sound curious and charming, but you had no idea how it actually came off since you’d been so damn grumpy. The attendant looked from you and then peered around you to Liu. He closed his magazine, folded his hands, sighed heavily, and gave you a knowing look. Oh no, he’d immediately misinterpreted your intentions.

“Look, I’m going to be honest with you.”

That was a bad start.

“Oh, I think you maybe…”

“I’m just filling in for my sister today. I needed the extra cash, and she has a date this afternoon.”

You laughed nervously and looked back to Liu since that was where the attendant kept looking suspiciously. “I think that you misinterpreted my intentions. This doesn’t have anything to do with him. I just had heard a story and was curious. A private spring sounds really beautiful.” You were the world’s worst liar. You couldn’t even come up with an excuse other than you thought it might be pretty.

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Do you not know then?” You were grumpy again. Damn.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t help you.”

You were flustered beyond recovery now. He had misinterpreted your desire to see a secret spring and the only thing you could think to do was stutter that he had done so. Then Liu was standing behind you, one hand on your back, the other on the counter.

“Is there a problem?” Liu sounded curious and offered a smile, but the attendant rolled his head back and groaned.

“I am not making enough money today to deal with this.”

Liu straightened his posture in surprise and looked to you for further explanation. At least you weren’t the only one flustered. That made you feel a bit better. You turned toward him and he placed his hand on your arm gently. That was probably not helping your case, but it felt nice. “I asked him about an off-limits spring closer to the Seas of Cloud and now he seems to have confused my desire to see this beautiful spring with something…” You stuttered in a frustrated whisper and couldn’t seem to find the word, the obvious word. Instead, you smooshed your hands together in front of you.

“Oh?” Liu tried to interpret your hand motion and then laughed in realization. “Oh. Intimate.”

“That’s it.” You pointed at him. “That’s the word.”

Liu let go of your arm and leaned against the counter with a sigh. “How much would it take for you to give us an answer?” You snapped your head back to Liu so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash.

“Look, dude, I don’t even work here usually and…”

Liu Kang placed some yuan on the counter and you stared at it in horror, mouth hanging open. Then you had to close your mouth tight to keep from bursting into hysterics. Your eyes were burning, trying not to cry with tears of laughter. Liu Kang was bribing a stranger to give you directions to a romantic hot spring instead of just explaining himself. Of all the possible outcomes you had expected this was the funniest one.

“Whoa, man… look I…” The attendant stared at the money on the counter and Liu tapped the bills before sliding them toward him. You were dying. This was where you died. RIP. Tears. You blinked them away. Your cheeks hurt from keeping it together. This was amazing. “If you take the main path up it branches about an hour in. Take the left fork and then walk for a bit. As you get close to the Seas of Cloud there’s a few caves. One of them has a spring in it but it’s hard to find with all the trees and not exactly safe. Gives me the creeps. That’s all I got.” He scooped up the bills. “Have fun man and if you get caught it wasn’t me who told you.”

“Thank you.” Liu bowed his head politely and then, hand on your back, led you away from the booth. You started up the hiking trail that had been pointed out to you and then you burst into hysterical laughter, practically hyperventilating from having held it in for so long. Liu pulled his hand back and stared at you with some concern as if he didn’t understand why this was hilarious.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He gently brushed his hand over your shoulder.

“What the hell was that?”

“Oh. I guess it was funny. He was going to think whatever he was going to think, Y/N. Sometimes we have to use other resources to get what we need.”

“Oh my god, does that mean you bribe people often? I didn’t expect this. I’m sorry. I wasn’t emotionally prepared for how funny that would be.”

“Only when they’re more convinced by money than words, Y/N.”

You took deep breaths to get yourself together and cleared your throat.

“How very Zen of you.”

“Come on, now.” He chuckled and placed his hand again at your back to lead you along the path that would start your hike. “We have private springs to find.”

“This day keeps getting weirder by the second.” You blinked away the remaining tears from your fit of laughter.

“Was it really that funny?”

“Liu. My stomach hurts from laughing.”

He shook his head with a smile as you continued on your way.

[theoi-crow]

Hi Nathan! I hope you’re well, and belated congrats on the apartment! I just wanted someone to kind of... brain dump? to, if you don’t mind. So, I started my path with Hellenic polytheism last year before the pandemic started, and since then it’s been very up and down and mostly non-existent to say the least. I know much of it is from a combination of depression and just not understanding what I’m doing or how to go about doing it. In turn it turned into guilt and shame for not doing more for the gods. So I just stopped.

I usually write down my prayers or thanks to them because it’s generally easier for me to write my thoughts down than speak them because I’m much more coherent, but I felt compelled to talk to them and to just apologize, and I felt like the one I felt most present (or at the forefront) was Persephone, who I know is often associated with working with the shadow self. Behind her I could feel Artemis (who I know was reaching out in Dec 2019 along with Apollo, though I was in denial), and Athena. I had primarily worked with Apollo and Hestia last year, so to suddenly have three goddesses there was like, “Oh, I have an audience...” lol And upon me taking to them (and feeling weird about it, as I usually do), I felt like they were all trying to say, “Don’t worry about it. Your depression is valid, and we have all the time in the world to work together.”

I want to do better, and I want to work with them, but that’s part of the problem is that I don’t *understand* the how of it, you know? I’ve read other people’s experiences and I’ve been doing research here and there when I’m able to, but I still feel kind of lost? It was often like this when I was Christian, too. I always had trouble praying and feeling like I was connecting to anything, but now that I can feel their energies and I *know* I’m being listened to, I want to do what I can to worship them. I’m just kind of stuck. Any advice would be lovely, but I mostly wanted to type this (novel) to just tell it to someone who would probably understand. Thanks for reading, and sorry it was so long haha

Hi,

I really don't mind you sending me long paragraphs so long as it's helping you gather your thoughts.

Gathering our thoughts is one of the most important things to do in Shadow work and sometimes it's hard to do it without having someone to talk to. I personally feel silly talking to myself and then I remember I could just talk to the gods so remember that you are not alone. The gods will listen.

It sounds like there's a bit of imposter syndrome happening:

perhaps you don't feel like you're doing enough or you're not being good enough to work with the gods. But these are internalized problems that stem from self-expectation. Perhaps you have expectations that are a lot bigger than what your body or mental energy can currently handle right now, especially with the depression. The gods want to be a part of your life but they also want you to live it as comfortably as you can.

I recommend taking a more relaxed approach that helps you go with the flow of your life and sprinkling your worship into it.

One that can help you live life but also incorporate the gods in it at the same time, like waking up and talking to Apollo while you're doing your morning routine, not because you're doing it for Apollo but because you were going to do your morning routine anyway but this time you're talking to Apollo while you're doing it. (Though dedicating your morning routine to a god, even just brushing your teeth, can be very helpful when depression hits).

Dedicating your morning routines to a god can help you feel like you're also working with the gods at the same time. Be sure to pay attention to intuitive nudges and other ways in which the gods talk to you. Dedicating your morning routines to a god is just an example of the many things that you could do to incorporate the gods into your life while still living your life and working with them at the same time.

A lot of times worshipers try to work their life around their worship but end up accidentally not following through with their worship because life takes over and gets in the way of the time they had originally set aside for their worship.

One of the reasons why I'm not a big fan of formality (and obsessing over needing to be in one's best behavior) is because it accidently makes us hide a lot of what we truly need help with, especially when the worshiper has depression.

We end up treating and seeing the gods like they are a work boss and you would never tell your boss very vulnerable and private things about yourself because they might end up costing you a promotion or you might get laid off. Yet these private things are essential for the god to know in order to help you.

I grew up in a Catholic household that was very dedicated to the idea of wearing your Sunday Best and behaving as properly as you could whenever you were in church. I would get pinched for slouching or sitting incorrectly. This instilled the idea that if I showed my depression to God (even outside of church) then I would be punished for it.

The gods have taught me that they really don't care how you worship them, or work with them so long as you are taking their advice in order to become the best version of yourself.

Different people do different things and different forms of worship work for different people.

If what you're currently doing isn't working for you, then I suggest being a bit more relaxed in how you approach the gods.

Allow the gods to inspire you in a more organic manner and let them enhance your life rather than forcing yourself to follow a strict schedule that might not be possible when depression hits.

Look at the way that you currently live your life and try to figure out which god would work for which section of your life.

For example when I do self care I talk to Aphrodite, when I work out I talk to both Hermes and Apollo, when I'm doing school work I usually talk to Apollo and Athena, and when I'm feeling scared and need a little bit of courage, I talk to Ares.

This helps me remember that I'm not alone in my life, especially on those terrible days when my depression keeps me from getting out of bed.

The gods care about you. No matter what you do or try as you figure out what will work best for you, they will be there for you, every step of the way.

I hope this helps!