#was gonna steal the cardboard cutout

[winterlymor]

i need deadpool in a way that would horrify the average person. i need him BADLY. my little (big) 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀. gonna get extra 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 with him.

THROW US IN A ROOM AND ONE OF US IS COMING OUT PREGNANT AND IT WONT BE ME

[eijirousbestie]

I love love love your bakugou x artist reader trope please we need more of it it’s so wholesome i have read it on repeat since you upload it 💗💗💗

Aahh thank you so much!! Kinda grew attached to it myself so I’m glad to hear y’all love it sm<33 This is definitely a series I plan on continuing🤟🏽 this part is kinda more goofy than anything else but I promise there’s fluff near the end<33

“Fuck around and find out”

he loses his drumsticks

missing rug

using an art supply as a weapon?

nonverbal apology

can’t admit he’s wrong for SHIT

Clay is never easy to work with and you’d be foolish to think it is. It’s messy, dries relatively quickly and dirties up every surface it graces. You swear your sculpting professor is out to get you with these ridiculous projects. From cardboard cutouts to detailed portraits to clay. It’s a madhouse in the art department.

Using your modeling tool, you try to carve into the block of raku clay that cost an arm and a leg to buy from the university’s private art supply store. It was a blessing and a curse to have it so conveniently placed right across the hall from your sculpting class. The clay and tool alone cost you $27 that you’ll never see again. This degree better be worth it. You look at your desk partner and see that she’s going to town on her clay block. She cuts, carves and scoops at it like she’s done it a thousand times over. Clay sculpting is a completely different wheelhouse you’re not used to but you’re always willing to learn. Hopefully fast.

You quickly check your phone, residual dried clay sprinkling onto the screen as you click on it. 7:50 PM. It’s time to wrap it up for the day. Almost in sync, your professor calls time and you all begin to clean up. You clean off your work station diligently and swing your bag over your shoulder, wishing everyone a good night as you leave. The walk to your car is peaceful. The night is quiet and the air is cool and clear. Truth be told, you were opposed to taking a night class at the start, probably afraid you’d get jumped at night or something irrational like that. But now it’s what you look forward to during the week. Being left alone with your own thoughts and decompressing from the day in the evening is just so therapeutic. Finally making it to your car, you get in, closing and locking the door after. Now that your hands are free from dried clay, you go through your missed messages for the evening. As soon as you turn off do not disturb your screen is flooded with missed calls and text notifications. Your eyes widen and confusion floods your mind as you scroll to the very first message.

#1 Hater🏆: yo, lost my drumsticks. you seen em?

delivered 6:15 PM

#1 Hater🏆 missed call

#1 Hater🏆: yeah you totally took em u little shit

delivered 6:30 PM

#1 Hater🏆 missed call (2)

#1 Hater🏆 missed call (4)

#1 Hater🏆: ik damn well you’re not ignoring me rn

#1 Hater🏆: i’ll go in your room rn and throw out that shitty rug. keep playin

delivered 7:05 PM

You laugh at his empty threat of a message and roll your eyes. What he had against your rug, you didn’t know. Buying a rep was cheaper than the real thing. KAWS is not a brand that’s in your tax bracket. And of course you didn’t know where his drumsticks were. He usually keeps all his music equipment locked away somewhere so it’s most likely his fault for losing them. You’re about to turn off your phone when a ping sounds from your device, a new message shining brightly on your screen.

#1 Hater🏆: forgot you were at your night class. probably got me on dnd anyways

#1 Hater🏆: still gonna give you hell for stealing my shit tho

delivered 8:03 PM

You type back a quick reply.

You: don’t have ur sticks. touch my rug and u die. I’ll be back in 5 to kick ur ass for blaming me

You shut your phone off and start your car, pulling out of the parking lot and driving back to the dorms.

Once you’re back you walk through the living room and make a beeline to your room. You open your door and what you see inside is enough to fuel nightmares. A rather deranged looking Bakugou has his hip leaned up against your windowsill, arms crossed over his chest as a single lamppost from outside your window illuminates one side of his face. He looks at you. Stares even and doesn’t say a single word.

“Is there a reason you’re just sitting in the dark like a weird-ass Disney villain or?” You flick on the light switch next to the door, drenching your room with light. It’s only then that you notice your floor is rather bare. This motherfucker.

He must have seen your reaction judging by the way his eyes follow your gaze to your now exposed wood flooring. A shit eating grin spreads across his face, damn near splitting it in two. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You’d hate to beat his ass over something so trivial but it’s getting harder to restrain yourself. You force yourself to look him in the eyes as you speak very very carefully.

“Kats… you wouldn’t happen to know where my rug is would you?”

He straightens up and walks towards you, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his sweats, a cocky bounce in his stride.

“Dunno. My shit’s missing too. Must be a ghost or somethin’.” Not a lick of remorse escapes his mouth. He’s smug. He’s proud of himself and he even came back to the scene of the crime just to taunt you. Your left eye twitches, patience wearing thin.

“I’ll ask you one more time for the sake of being generous. Where. Is my. Rug.” He shrugs and feigns innocence.

“Fuck around and find out.”

The hell did he just say? Is he really trying to pick a fight right now? Usually you’re the one keeping the peace but this man has now dragged your innocent rug into his thick headed nonsense. You chuckle in disbelief and look at the ground, shaking your head slightly.

“‘Fuck around and find out?’ Huh… aight then.” Bag still slung over your shoulder, you unzip the smallest pocket and pull out the modeling tool you used earlier for your sculpting class. You grip it tightly in your palm, the pointed edge facing outwards. Bakugou’s cocky façade waivers a bit but he doesn’t show it. His left eyebrow quirks up in interest.

“Tryna stab me with an art supply?” You’re not really gonna stab him. Just scare him into giving you your stuff back. Maybe…

“You said fuck around and find out right? So imma fuck you up til I find out where my shit is.” You drop your bag on the ground and rush at him all at once. His once calm demeanor switches to sudden shock and he moves to dodge your swing.

“Dude what the fuck!? Will you chill?” He doesn’t know whether he’s shouting in annoyance or fear, though he’ll never admit the latter. You turn around to where he’s standing behind you, modeling tool still tightly clutched in hand.

“Give me my shit back then!”

“Cmon it’s a shitty knock off. You really gonna stab me over a $30 rug?”

“And you really stole a $30 rug over a $15 pair of drumsticks?”

“Cuz you stole em!”

“I didn’t steal anything. I don’t even know where you keep them Kats! Plus I haven’t been in the dorms since 8 this morning.” His face stills and his brain sorts through what you’d just said. It made sense really. Today was your long day this week. You’d been gone from 8 AM to 8 PM.

He straightens up from his defensive stance and looks away, rubbing the back of his nape. “Okay well even if you didn’t take em, still don’t know where they are. Everyone’s a suspect right now.”

“Then why aren’t everyone else’s things missing?”

He shakes his head and corrects you. “Nah, I took a piece of everyone’s shit too not just you. It’s all stashed til someone fesses up.” You stare at him like he’s grown two heads, face turned up in disapproval and disbelief.

“Aight Kats whatever. You know it’s not me, so can I please have my rug back?” At this point you where drained from classes and just wanted to rest. Not to mention using the last of your energy to attack this idiot.

He walks to your door and opens it, the creak of the door signaling his great escape. “Ask me nicely.” He’s closing the door behind himself now, but you’re quick to yell out.

“Dude are you seriou-”

“Under the bed.” With that, he closes the door and you’re left in silence. You kneel on the ground and look under your bed and just as he said, your rug is there safe and sound. You pull it out from its hiding spot and place it back in its respective spot on the floor. You let out a deep sigh of relief which can be heard by the eavesdropping figure just outside your door. He chuckles to himself and walks to his room. Truth be told he found his drumsticks minutes before you came back to the dorms. He was just too embarrassed to tell you he found them after misplacing them himself and blaming you for it. Plus, it was more fun this way. Minus the potential stabbing part.

[metropolitanmutantofark]

Leverage gang gets stuck in the middle of the road somewhere in the desert in Utah

Nathan Ford: Alright gang, let’s go steal a 2007 Honda Civic *Leverage theme music*

Alec Hardison: alright the mark’s name is John Johnny McBingleBangle he’s been using his 2007 Honda Civic for 23 years now running over orphans puppies orphaned puppies AND puppied orphans but to get into his car we’re gonna need his keys now Parker-

Beloved Country Singer-Songwriter and Matt Mercer look-alike Christian Kane: damn it Hardison can’t you just hack the 2007 Honda Civic with your hacker van

Parker: actually guys-

Alec Hardison: Lucille broke down dingus that’s why we’re stuck here in the middle of Utah

Nathan Honda: Yeah that’s why we’re gonna go steal a 2007 Honda Civic gang *Leverage theme music*

Sophie Devereaux: if he’s been driving his 2007 Honda Civic that long then surely he’s got to go to the gas station sometime or another

Nathan Chevrolet: Right so we’re gonna disguise Sophie as an orphaned puppy and she’ll keep mr. McBingleBangle at the gas station long enough for Parker to get his keys and for the rest of us to get inside the car, let’s go steal a 2007 Honda Civic *Warehouse 13 theme music*

Parker: *swinging keys around on her finger* guys no but really-

Alec Hardison: it’s not gonna be that easy his 2007 Honda Civic has a dash cam protected by an enhancement modifier now that means we’ve gotta get not only his keys but also his driver’s license and also his keys’ driver’s license

Sophie Devereaux: *already adjusting her orphan wig* I could pretend to be an orphan who works for the DMV then

Nathan Mitsubishi: Nah no this con’s gotta be clean or we’ll never make it to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza for Parker’s birthday party, we’re gonna go steal a 2014 Ford Focus *Grimm theme music*

Eliot Spencer: wait Hardison rewind that dash cam footage

Alex Trebek Hardison: alright sure

Parker: *holding McBingleBangle’s entire personal records collection in hand* who’s that in the passenger seat?

Eliot Spencer: damn it Hardison that’s two-toe Tony Tommy the biggest baddest meanest guy in all of Uzbekistan this is really bad

*flashback*

Two-toe Tony Tommy, the biggest baddest meanest guy in all of Uzbekistan*: I’m gonna punch you Christian Kane

Eliot Spencer without stubble to indicate he’s younger: not if I punch you harder first Tommy

*they punch each other and they both look super cool end flashback*

Nathan Tesla: don’t worry guys Eliot’s just gonna punch him it’ll be a classic punch the guy steal his car con let’s go steal a leverage theme music *2007 Honda Civic*

Sophie Devereaux: *over earpiece* Guys this is bad Mr. McBingleBangle is gonna run me over he thinks I’m really an orphaned puppy

Parker: what you’ve never been run over before? I did that all the time as a kid

The gang: . . .

Parker: continue

John Johnny McBingleBangle at the wheel of his 2007 Honda McCivic: Man I’m so evil I love running over orphaned puppies like this they’re my favorite watch me hit this sick puppy-grinder Tony

Two-toe Tony Tommy, the biggest baddest meanest guy in all of Uzbekistan: why do i even hang out with you

Parker who is already in the backseat of the car: You wanna say that again?

John Johnny McBingleBangle: huh what who said that ***THUNK***

The crumpled broken form that was once Sophie Devereaux: ouch now im dead lol

Two-toe Tony Tommy the biggest yeah you know the rest at this point: my god John we’ve gotta call the police

John Johnny McBingleBangle: we’re not gonna

Two-Toe Tony Tommy: huh what

John Johnny McBingleBangle: we’ve gotta get rid of the witnesses *cocks gun* nothin personnel kid

Gun: bang

Eliot Spencer: damn it Hardison why didn’t you hack the gun so it wouldn’t kill Sophie

Sophie Devereaux: because I’m not dead

John Johnny McBingleBangle: HUH WHAT

Alec Hardison: *getting out of the car* look again Johnny

Orphaned Puppy, standing next to a life-sized cardboard cutout of Sophie Devereaux: *whine*

Nate Subaru: yeah while you were monologuing about how evil you are we got Sophie out of the way so you’d leave your 2007 Honda Civic exposed now let’s go steal a 2007 Honda Civic *Alphas theme music*

*flashback*

*they do that cardboard cutout thing*

John Johnny McBingleBangle: but i just shot her in the head with my bang bang shooting gun

Nathan Dodge: nah uh uh

Sophie Devereaux: *peels off her bulletproof orphan wig and novelty dog ears*

John Johnny McBingleBangle: HUH WHAT THE WHAT

Sophie Devereaux: And now you’re under arrest

John Johnny McBingleBangle: you can’t do this to me

Two-toe Tony Tommy: yeah they can bub

*flashback*

Two-toe Tony Tommy, the biggest baddest meanest guy in all of Uzbekistan*: I’m gonna punch you Christian Kane

Citizen Kane: Wait zoom in on that asterisk

The Camera: *zooms*

Uzbekistan (oh but actually he’s FBI Agents Taggart and McSweeten in a trench coat)

*they laugh clink wine glasses and pretend to fight end flashback*

FBI agents taggart and mcsweeten in a trench coat: you’re under arrest for running over orphaned puppies with your 2007 Honda Civic

John Johnny McBingleBangle: No no this can’t be happening to me don’t you know who i am I’m John Johnny McBingleBangle I am THE GUY who runs over orphaned puppies you can’t do this to me

The gang: *gets in the car*

Sophie Devereaux: Looks like we’ll be making it to Freddy Fazbear’s pizza after all eh Parker

Parker: yay

The car: *vroom*

Frederick Fitzgerald Fazbear III: wow thanks guys you locked up the guy who’s been running over orphaned puppies outside my restaurant

Nathan Kia: no problem Freddy let’s go steal a 2007 Honda Civic *leverage theme music*

Alec Hardison: wait didn’t we already do that y’all

Nathan Toyota: i may have a problem

[zabchan]

answer pt. 2, because i went hard on a tangent when i first tried answering.

this shot appears in a japanese moana 2 trailer with zero context. either maui is on motonui in the sequel, someone is dreaming, or homeboy invented the first life-sized cardboard cutout.

My shipper heart really hopes Maui does get a chance to hang out with moana at home. and not just for the "Meet the Parents" cliche. Maui may pretend to be a Lone Wolf, but within 2 seconds of meeting him anyone can see the big demi-guy is an extrovert. He needs public facetime. He lives for attention. Get this poor man-child a support structure. Get him some therapy too while you're at it, but baby steps.

also i really love the headcanon that tui is gonna fanboy the heck out when he meets maui because COCONUTS. this is the guy who made COCONUTS happen. i need to draw tui and moni decked out in maui fanclub gear, tui thrusting a signed coconut aloft like he personally wrestled 3 other baseball fans for it.

[moni at moana's front door like "have you heard the word about our lord and savior who slowed down the sun?"]

also moana's front door is a full sized maui tapestry ahhhhh my heart

ye olde polynesian body pillow

havent seen any in-movie preview clips of maui meeting lil sis simea yet. :(

but there is this adorable not-canon promo

but i wouldnt put any hopes on them meeting being canon based on this. similar splash promos were put out for the first film with maui & pua interacting, and we all know that didnt end up happening.

i have a micro-fic about them meeting sitting in my google drive, just waiting for me to finish the accompanying drawing though, so look forward to that :D

AS FOR maui's background,

irl polynesian history/tradition/mythology gives us plenty. disney might not go these routes, but given how well theyve treated his stories so far (imo extremely well), theres a great chance the broad strokes of his family life makes it into the disney canon.

with the caveat that every pacific island east of new guinea has its own culture and nuances they bring to the maui legends, there are enough overlaps to form a general 'myth-maui origin story'.

Maui was born the youngest of several (1-4) brothers and a debatable amount of sisters (1-4). His father was chief or royalty or half-god or all of the above, his uncles and grandfather likely the same. some of his uncles are described as giants. Theres a tongan legend that Maui senior invented the Umu (the underground oven we see them use in moana) and kept the secret of it for himself and his immediately family, the island elites (ali'i). Maui the trickster thought that was a shitty elitist idea and stole the secret of underground fire to share with the other islanders. Maui's father shows up in several versions of maui's underworld exploits, usually the fire stealing one, and usually after maui senior is already dead.

[UmU what's this? OwO]

Maui's mom has variations of godliness herself. sometimes she's the goddess of tapa-making, sometimes she's the daughter or granddaughter of gods. sometimes she's the guardian of the door to the underworld, where she occasionally meets up with Maui's dead father. she cant join him down there, but Maui follows her one night and being half divine, he slips thru and meets his deceased relatives. Sometimes she's just a human woman who has 4-7 mouths to feed with a dead husband and unfortunately Maui the youngest is just one too many.

she cuts her hair, her topknot, and puts baby maui into it, throwing him at the mercy of the sea. most myths give her credit and say maui was mistaken for inviably premature or stillborn at this point, and that she didn't mean to murder her infant.

but most agree that it was from the sea that the gods found maui and raised him apart from his family, bestowing upon him strength and supernatural gifts. in myths where he's got godly parentage, his hook is made from the jawbone of one of these divine ancestors, usually a grandparent.

and then, at an age no one can quite agree on, maui is sent back. he meets his family again, his elder brothers all grown, his sisters mostly so. they all seem to be doing just fine without him. theyre upstanding community members, good fishermen, and the eldest is even chief. they dont believe maui the trickster is their brother at first, and it takes some timely memory jogging by mom to get them to accept him. the eldest maui bro is the most chill about it, but soon enough he too joins the ranks of the permanently peeved male maui-relatives. Our maui tries wowing them with feats of stength, cunning, magic- mostly he succeeds in making them jealous and angry. maui's tricks are all at their expenses. maui fouls their fishing lines, scares the fish, steals dessert, beats them silly in contests of strength.

the one thing they can do that he cant is fish. maui is terrible at it, resorts to stealing fish straight off their lines. maui is so bad at fishing that he gets his hook stuck in the floor of the ocean and pulls up an island, rather than the tuna he was aiming for. retroactively of course he claims he MEANT to do that-

but yeah. thats maui's home life.

maui's sister hina is way nicer to him. in one version of the sun pulling myth, she donates her hair to him to braid into the magic rope he lassos the sun with. the rapunzel-flower crossover potential is through the roof.

his mom was either terrible at names, calling all her sons 'maui' and her daughters' variations on Hina- or Hina is based on the word wahine, which is an intra-pacific term for generic womenly types. on any given island, in any particular telling you'll hear maui's mom called hina, his wives called hina, his sisters are called hina. makes it really fun tracking maui's genealogy let me tell you. it also explains why the woman in the eel story is anyone from maui's mom to his aunt to his sister to his sister-in-law to his wife to his daughter.

I'm sure everyone has that one relative who always mistakes them for another, sometimes cycling thru the entire family roster like a drop down box before hitting on the right name. "and this is my sister-in-law hina- i mean sina- hine? hima? Irena?" a hundred years or or of that and i guess i cant blame maui for making it easy on himself and just calling all the women of his family Hina.

not sure if this proves that maui was an overprotective brother to his favorite sister, but one of the more common stories is maui fucking around with his brother-in-law. the 100% mortal brother in law doesn't have a consistent name, but lets call him Doug. Doug hangs out with maui at hina's insistence. they go fishing together (bad plan) and predictibly, doug is slightly better at it than maui. hje also apperantly talks a lot, and it gets on maui's last nerve. maui picks doug up by the mouth and stretches his face & body out hill he has a muzzle and walks on all fours. maui then tattoos doug's lips black. This seems unnecessary but its the maori explanation for why dogs have black lines around their mouths so go figure. anyway, maui creates the first Dog out of doug then gives the creature back to his sister, saying he doesn't mind doug so much this way. Hina is horrified and runs away, inspiring her own epic adventures that have nothing to do with her brother until he shows up at the very end to pick her up in time for mom's funeral. at least thats the version i remember. my source material for hina's adventures in a post-dog world is very textbook dry and hard to parse. maybe one day i'll try rereading it and giving it a jazzy paraphrasing for yall. wont that be nice?

[pictured: artists rendition of maui's sisters and shitty-brother-in-law. circa 1200 BCE. probably. ]

TLDR Maui is a dick to all his family except his mom. and once maybe even his mom.

[fizzarollitm]

❝ Fizzie!! ♡ ❞ after spending half the day in his office going through meeting after meeting, he's finally able to go play at his club! And what better introductions than being greeted by his succubus on the way in and reaching the heart of the club than to find Fizzarolli under spotlights? The way blacklights made everyone pop in color was breathtaking but especially Fizzarolli! Imp was stealing the show despite the downtime before the next show. Meeting Fizz halfway, Ozzie's arms are out to catch Fizz and when he has jester in his clutches, he's cuddling the side of Fizz's face. Now, the attack... pressing his mouth closer to Fizz's, disguised as kissing to onlookers but it's mainly to keep this juicy detail discreet. ❝ Sooo... when were you gonna tell me you had centerfolds of me? ♡ ❞ Fizz can sit up from embrace but he can't escape. Not yet what with Sin's grin wirdening. ❝ And Mammon cardboard cutouts? Well, actually that doesn't surprise me. ❞ Did he get a surprise meeting from a certain imp? Ooh, he's not done yet. | @jizzlords

Light tests, music tests, fill in for a call-out— the list of to-do was burned into his memory as he squinted in the neon reel. He had a good feeling about the night and he gave a thumbs up to the crew just in time to see his Ozzie come out of the elevator. His stomach still dropped despite the ten years between them and he felt giggly as he stepped off the stage straight into his arms.

And knew he was fucked when they tightened and his voice dropped to purr in his ear.

Usually that meant he was about to have utter filth whispered in his ear maybe with Sinful hands sliding over his body. What he got instead was Asmodeus talking about a certain centerfold from his youth and the cutout no one but two people in Hell knew of. And only one was brave, or stupid, enough to talk. Fizzy was doing his best to wiggle away (not really) his face blushing gray.

" Oh that bitch with the lopsided tits. " His tail whipped through the air as a growl started low and slow in the bottom of his throat. " What other lies has she been saying about me ? I bet she didn't mention the time she nearly ate shit off the wire because Thea went up 5 cups over the summer. Or-or the time she swiped Cash's alcohol and I had to carry her fifteen blocks home because she couldn't hold her shit. "

[unkillablejazz]

Maximum be gay do crime is to let the stupid fucking IP finally die in obscurity instead of continuing to make queers, Jews and POC have to keep thinking about that dumb fucking white slag’s shitty writing

((Okay, I don't understand enough social queues to tell if this is supposed to be hate mail that someone just threw into my inbox with no interest in hearing anything back, or if they are actually interested in the answer and it'd be rude to trash it. So I'm gonna answer and hope whoever this is sees it and ends up less stressed out for it. (I'm kind of wondering why you went anon though if that's the case. You'd have to be watching my blog pretty religiously for that.)

Short and snarky answer because I think I'm funny:

Nah. That's totally legal, but you do you.

Longer answer with clarification:

I was suggesting stealing the source code and making a better wizard school game because I want to help. (I may not know enough hacking to get ahold of the source code but I know a bit of coding and I'd love to learn how to mod a game.) I'm an autistic lesbian with a special interest in magic. That beast's get rich quick scheme of copyright claiming every common magic/wizard term she could get her hands on with her generic coming of age boarding school rag has cornered the market on new wizard and magic stories. It makes it very hard to find new stories that appeal to my special interest without having to wade through at least the comparisons with that slag. I want to go full death of the author on her. Make it literal. Take that cardboard cutout magic school and make it into something so good it totally overshadows her. And it's fair use if it's free. Can't copyright claim fair use. I want her losing money so fast that she has a heart attack out of rage. That is what I want when I say go maximum "be gay, do crime. Eat the rich."

))

[vatt-world]

hi

Johnny Lever: "Let's talk about going to the doctor, shall we? It's like entering a whole new dimension of waiting. You sit in the waiting room, surrounded by outdated magazines and the occasional cough choir. And when you finally get called in, it's like stepping onto a game show set! The doctor asks you questions like you're on trial, and you're trying to remember your medical history while battling sudden amnesia! 'Uh, yes, I believe my left elbow once had a disagreement with a door handle...'"

Johnny Lever: "And let's not forget about the gym! You walk in all motivated, ready to conquer those weights like Hercules. But then you see those fitness fanatics, lifting weights heavier than your self-esteem! Suddenly, your dumbbells feel like they're made of lead, and the treadmill is mocking you with its relentless pace. 'Come on, you can do it!' it says. But all you hear is, 'You're gonna regret this tomorrow!'"

Johnny Lever: "Ah, and what about online shopping? It's like a treasure hunt with a twist! You search for a simple pair of socks, and before you know it, you've fallen into the rabbit hole of 'recommended for you.' Suddenly, you're contemplating a life-size cardboard cutout of your favorite celebrity and wondering if you really need that inflatable unicorn pool float. 'It's for the summer,' you tell yourself. But deep down, you know it's for the Instagram likes!"

Johnny Lever: "And then there's the great saga of finding a parking spot. It's like playing a game of musical chairs, except the music never stops, and there are no chairs! You drive around in circles, praying for a miracle, and just when you think you've struck gold, a tiny smart car swoops in and steals your spot like a parking ninja! 'But I was here first!' you yell, as you reluctantly move on, searching for parking paradise."

Johnny Lever: "But you know what, folks? Life's like a comedy show – unpredictable, chaotic, and full of surprises. So let's embrace the madness, laugh at the absurdity, and remember that sometimes, the best punchline is simply living in the moment!"

[mysticalbookkeeper]

Hiccups

Lilac was working in the library, dusting all the shelves, using a ladder to dust the higher shelves. She had rode her bike to work today instead of her broom, as the way was actually short. Even faster on bike.

Even though using her broom would have made the job easier, she didn’t mind using the ladder. Besides, it was fun to push the ladder around and ride it along the shelves. She felt like a Disney princess when she did so.

Lilac was almost done dusting the top, when a familiar face teleported in next to her, nearly startling her.

“Hey kiddo, how’s it going?” Asked Id.

“Good. How are you Id?” Asked Lilac.

“Oh, same old, same old. Although…” he snickered.

“Oh boy, what did you do?” Asked Lilac with a knowing grin.

“Oh, I may or may not have replaced the water in the fountain with soda. And filled it with mentos, causing the soda to explode everywhere.”

Lilac laughed.

“Anyways, after I got caught, I quickly bailed and then I wondered what you were up to, so I came here.”

“Just dusting these shelves. Not as a punishment this time, they just have the tendency to get really dusty.”

Lilac sneezed a little to prove her point.

“Ah.” Id floated there for a bit. Then a lightbulb seemed to light up in his head.

“Y’know, I think it’s close to your break time, is it not?”

“Almost.” Lilac answered.

“Perfect! I’ll be waiting at…that table right down there.” Said Id. He teleported and Lilac saw he was indeed at the table he mentioned. He gave a little wave, smiling. Ljlac returned the wave, smiling back.

Once she was done, Lilac slid down the ladder and joined Id at the table.

“So, what do you wanna do first? We could teleport to town and prank one of the residents. We could steal stools from that strawberry blob guy, or mess around with Gramps’ items.” Said Lilac.

“Nah. Doing a prank right after the first one will be exaclty what those guys are expecting. Besides…” Id’s face grew pale. “I was nearly harpooned into a tree for using the mentos I bought from the store for pranking purposes.”

“For causing a harmless prank?” She asked.

“Eh, some people just don’t have a funny bone in them…which explains a lot, since those jelly blob people are completely boneless.” Said Id.

Lilac nodded.

“Anyway, I was just thinking we could just sit here, read a book. I don’t wanna pull you from work for too long and get you in trouble.” Said Id.

“Well, alright.” Said Ljlac. She was a little surprised. Id was immortal, and could do just about anything his heart desired. But he decided to go with something simple…who was Ljlac kidding? With Id, everything was exciting and fun.

“Alright, so what should we do here?” Asked Ljlac.

“Easy.” Id grinned and tapped her shoulder.

“Tag, you’re it.”

Ljlac grinned and watched as Id teleported away.

“Not for long.” She said, readying her wand.

Ljlac looked around the shelves, and saw Id, just standing there, still. Of course, she knew it was just another cardboard cutout, so she turned away.

Only to nearly jump out of her skin, when something grabbed her from behind and shouted, “BOO! Got ya!”

Lilac screamed and accidentally punched Id in the face.

“Owww…” He groaned, holding his nose.

“Shit, are you okay Id?!” Shouted Lilac.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He said. He removed his hand from his face. Luckily, no blood was coming out, and Lilac sighed in relief.

“Oh, hey Id, by the way…”

She quickly tapped Id on his shoulder and ran off.

“YOU’RE IT!”

Id grinned.

“We’ll see about that.” He teleported away.

Lilac knew Id was gonna show up any moment, so to make it more interesting, she used a spell, which created invisible walls in certain areas, that only she could see, so if Id saw her, he’d most likely run into the wall.

So she pretended to hide in an aisle, and saw Id through her invisible wall and he shouted and ran towards her, only to run smack right into the wall and become flat, before he floated down to the ground.

Lilac giggled.

“An invisible wall spell? Seriously? How childish are you?” Asked Id.

“Coming from the same guy who pulls childish pranks practically all the time, I think you’re one to talk.” Said Lilac.

“Right. Can you help me up, please?” Asked Id.

“Nah, nice try buddy. I know that trick of yours.” Lilax ran off the other way.

“Damn it.” Cursed Id and he managed to unflatten himself and teleported again.

Lilac continued running, when suddenly, there was a giant monster in front of her. She screamed and went to zap it away…only for the spell to pierce through the creature and it fell flat on its face. Lilac backed away and ran, only to be caught in a net and pulled into the air.

Laughter rang out through the room and Id appeared next to her.

“Priceless.” He said, holding his stomach as he continued to laugh.

“Id! You big jerk! That wasn’t funny!” Shouted Lilac.

“Oh come on, where’s your sense of fun? It was hilarious. Besides, I think you have a bigger problem…like…”

Id tapped her shoulder again.

“How you’re going to catch me now that you’re trapped in there.” He laughed and teleported away.

Lilac cut herself down with a knife and landed on her feet.

“Okay. It’s on.” She said, a determined grin on her face.

Id teleported around, wondering how to trick Lilac some more, when he ended up teleporting to what he thought was outside.

“Huh? How’d I end up out here?” He teleported again…only to appear outside again.

“Okay…this is freaking me out. He charged forward…only to run through the sky and into the library. He fell down.

He looked back and saw it was a cardboard cutout.

“Ohh, that’s so it!” He said.

“I’m suing for copyright infringement! Piracy is not a victimless crime Lilac!” He shouted and teleported to where he heard her laughing.

“Ah ha!” Id said, having found Lilac, who was still laughing. He ran up to her…only to run right through her. He turned around and saw a recorder lying in the middle of the floor, playing on loop.

“Gosh darn it Lilac! I’m gonna catch you yet, and when I do, I’m going to chop you into little bits and put you in the strawberry blob’s next ramen!”

“You’ll have to catch me first.” Said Lilac, suddenly standing behind Id, grinning.

Id grinned back and went to grab her, only to fall into a hole.

He quickly teleported and grabbed Lilac, only for her to duck and disappear immediately. Id looked around, backing up, when he bumped into something. A large eyeball was looming over him and glaring.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PRECIOUS LIBRARY?! YOU STUPID BIPED, I’M GONNA TEAR YOUR LEGS OFF AND…”

Id screamed a rather undignified scream and shielded his face and curled into a ball.

A loud laugh emitted from behind him and he looked up, seeing Lilac. She waved her wand. Id looked and the illusion of Gorgax disappeared into thin air.

“Lilac! That wasn’t funny!” Said Id. Lilac tried to get a word out, but was laughing too much. She stopped when a noise emitted from her mouth.

Id looked at her, grinning.

“What was that?” He asked.

“Nothing! I…” Lilac hiccuped again.

“Looks like you’ve got the hiccups to me.”

“Shut up! No I don’t, I…”

Another hiccup emitted from Lilac.

“Aww, those are your hiccups? They sound like a little mouse.” Said Id.

“No! They don’t, I…” Another hiccup sounded out from Lilac.

“Come on, they’re very cute~.” Said Id.

“Hold on, I got the perfect idea for this.”

Id pulled out a phone…Lilac’s phone and recorded them.

“Hey everyone, this is my new video with my girlfriend and…”

“ID! NO! STOP, I’m not your girlfriend!” Shouted Lilac. “Don’t listen, he’s lying!”

“Aww, come on babe, I think we make a great couple!” Id said.

“Argh! No! Delete that immediately!”

“Okay, okay. Just kidding folks, we’re not a couple. But one thing is true, those hiccups are adorable~.” Said Id.

“No! They’re not! Don’t you dare post that video…”

“And, send.” Said Id, uploading the video. Lilac scowled at him.

“What? Come on, who wouldn’t find that cute? And look, you’ve got a few likes already on your account.” Said Id.

Lilac continued scowling.

“Eh heh…are you alright kid?” Asked Id, now feeling worried.

Lilac went to speak and hiccuped again.

She grumbled under her breath.

“Aww, so cute. But, seriously. I’m getting worried for you.”

“One of these days Id, I’m gonna get you for this. I bet your hiccups are even worse than mine.”

Id laughed.

“Oh, that’s cute. To think that you think that I have hiccups.”

“Everyone does! Even immortals!”

“Maybe so. But you’ll never know, because I rarely get them.” Said Id.

Lilac scowled.

“By the way, Id…”

“Yes? I can delete the video if you hate your hiccups that much.” Said Id.

“No.” Lilac tapped him. “You’re it.” She ran off.

“You little…! I’ll show you who’s it! I’m gonna wipe that smug look off your face and we’ll see who’s laughing then!”

Later, Lilac and Id had calmed down from running around and were just sitting at the table again.

“Ha! Told you I’d win. I always do.” Said Id.

“Oh please, before we ended it, you were practically out of breath, trying to catch me and called it off!” Said Ljlac.

“You must have been hallucinating, cause I totally won.” Said Id, smiling.

Lilac grinned at him.

“Okay, okay. I admit it, you beat me. You’re really tough, you know that?” Said Id.

Lilax grinned. “Thanks Id. Not everyone compliments me on that.”

Id grinned warmly.

“Well, I shouldn’t let you keep me anymore. Jeez, I can’t believe I let you distract me for that long. I’ve got an important job to do too, y’know.”

“Yeah, I hear ya. Besides, I should return to work.” Said Lilac, standing up and going to the ladder.

“Alright, see you later Lilac.”

“Bye Id. Try not to get into too much trouble.” Said Lilac.

“Of course, what do you take me for?” Asked Id. He and Lilac laughed and he teleported away again.

Lilac was on her lunch break and was eating ramen at the ramen shop.

She was thinking about earlier when she had those hiccups. Now she was curious, if Id had hiccups. He said he did, and she wondered what they would be like. Were they normal like hers, or did they have some magic to them? Now she wanted to know. No, she needed to know, otherwise she would go nuts from the curiosity.

Then an idea hit her. Id was normally out and about this time, but later that evening, he returned to his house in the woods at around 6:00. She grinned mischievously and finished her ramen eagerly.

Later that night, Lilac was at the top of Id’s house, sitting on his roof, watching the road. It was 5:45, so Id would be walking back anytime shortly.

And lo and behold, there he was, walking. She stood up and Id jumped, upon seeing her on his roof.

“Lilac?! What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at your house?” He asked.

“Yep. All part of the plan!” She called out.

“What plan?” He asked.

Lilac turned her back to him and allowed herself to fall off the roof. She closed her eyes.

“LILAC!”

Id immediately teleported to her and caught her in his arms.

“WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! ARE YOU OKAY?!” He shouted.

Lilac laughed.

“Fine. Like I said, all part of the plan.”

“PLAN?! WHAT PART OF THAT WAS…” Id froze when a noise came out of his mouth….as well as several butterflies.

“Agh, not again…” he said. He hiccuped and more butterflies came out.

“I just got rid of these an hour ago…” He groaned.

“That’s what your hiccups are like?” Asked Lilac.

Id looked at her wide eyed. He realized he was still holding her as they floated. He teleported them down and he released her. He held his stomach as more hiccups came, butterflies spewing out.

“I think I’m gonna be sick…” he said.

“Are you alright?” Asked Lilac, a little worried.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Id hiccuped again.

A butterfly flew over and landed on Lilac’s shoulder. It was a beautiful blue colour.

The butterfly flew off to join the rest of them.

“What happens to the butterflies?” Asked Lilac.

“They just…fly off wherever.” Said Id. He hiccuped again. More butterflies came out. Despite the strange grossness of it, seeing the butterflies was actually really pretty. Id hiccuped some more.

“Does this happen every time you hiccup?”

“Yeah. Which is why I try to hide it. I was…fibbing when I said I rarely get them. But I don’t like others knowing what they’re like. It’s a little embarrassing.” Said Id.

Lilac brought out a soda and handed it to him.

“Thanks.”

Id accepted the drink and drank it down, before sighing in relief.

“I think they’re…” He hiccuped again. More butterflies came out.

“Nope. Still there.”

“Drink more.” Said Lilac.

Id did so. Then he glared at Lilac.

“So, that was your plan? To scare me half to death to get me to hiccup?”

“Well, yeah. Our conversation from earlier really got me curious, so I wanted to know.” Lilac answered honestly.

Id scowled at her.

“Just…promise not to record this one? I know I recorded yours earlier, but if people knew…I don’t think I’d live it down and I don’t want a chance for more people to cause these hiccups on purpose. It…actually kind of makes my stomach hurt…”

“Deal.” Said Lilac.

Id nodded. “Thank you.”

“I’ll make you some soup, if you’d like.”

“No. That’s okay. Sooner or later, they’ll disappear.” Said Id.

“Alright.” Lilac said, feeling a little bad now that she caused Id to get hurt.

“Hey, don’t…” Id hiccuped again.

“Don’t look so down. I mean, I’m just glad you’re not hurt, even at the expense of…my embarrassing secret.” Id hiccuped.

“I’m sorry Id, I didn’t think it would hurt you, I…”

Id laughed. Which caused him to hiccup more. He started to look sick.

“It’ll be alright. Hey, I can’t blame you for being curious. You’d have found out sooner or later. I’m kinda glad it was sooner, so I could tell you why I keep this a secret.” Said Id. Lilac nodded.

“I’ll…try not to cause you to hiccup anymore.” She said. Though she had to admit, they were kind of cute.

“It’s okay. They’re involuntary, like all hiccups. Anyway, I should get inside, so I can get these settled down.” Said Id.

“Also…” He gently punched Lilac.

“Ow, what was that for?!” She asked.

“For scaring the crap out of me! Don’t do that again! Seriously, I knew I was there to save you, but…I’m just….afraid.”

“You? Afraid?”

“Yes!” Id hiccuped again. “I hate these butterflies so much. But you really had me worried! I thought that if I missed, or couldn’t catch you in time, you’d….you’d die.” Said Id, rubbing his arm.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try not to fall so much.” Said Lilac.

Id shook his head. “Alright. I’ll head inside now.” He gave one last look at Lilac. He smiled and Ljlac cocked her head curiously. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a quick hug. Lilax was surprised, but hugged him back.

The two let go and they bid each other goodbye, before returning to their homes.

[wjbs-bonkle-au]

I'm just gonna go full Unraveled and just list 'em all and rank them out of 5.

Airwatcher - basically just a big, stupid bird. 0/5

Amphibax - apparently, he has "enhanced hearing and eyesight"; imagine dating someone who can perfectly appreciate your voice and appearance, but who would also kill you underwater at the drop of a hat. 2/5

Charger - if you're into furries and/or don't have any pets, he's probably another 3/5; otherwise, 0/5.

Conjurer - no stop that's illegal. -5/5.

Darkness - has a cool name, and his powers probably have some... interesting applications, but he's kinda already with someone, and their relationship is super toxic. 0/5.

Devastator - you want to get sand in your bed? Also he makes some pretty big claims, which is kind of a red flag. 0/10.

Dweller - can literally read your mind; you want something, he'll give it to you and also use them to give you nightmares for shits and giggles, plus, and I quote, "Dweller's dedication enables him to wholeheartedly devote all his time and effort into completing his missions"; being in a relationship is... kinda like a mission! 4/5!

Eliminator - why. 0/5.

Firedracax - good if you're an arachnophobe, and isn't an unhinged murderer (unless you're a Visorak)! 4/5!

Gatherer - doesn't need to eat or sleep, so while he is low-maintenance, you can't have any nice dates, and as soon as you fall asleep you know he's gonna immediately get up and go hang out with the lads. Also if you break up, make sure to check your clothes drawer; he might have stolen a shirt or something. 0/5.

Gladiator - if you're into that. Careful of his claws. 2/5.

Kraata-Kal - the perfect "I can fix him" kinda guy, since he has inner light, and is unthethered from the Makuta that spawned him, although he is also, like, a slug in a big spiky robot. 4/5.

Lariska - the rest of the guys on this list are afraid of her... all I'm saying is, maybe give her a pass. 1/5.

Lurker - enjoys surprising his opponents, so like I guess he'd do that romcom thing of coming up behind you while you're making breakfast or something. However, he did become a Dark Hunter solely to commit murders without repurcussions. 1/5.

Mimic - he's kinda hung up over his missing wife, and I'm not sure if he's open to polyamory. 0/5.

Minion - absolutely can not keep a secret. 0/5.

Phantom - literally the only Dark Hunter who isn't comically evil or holds a grudge against another sapient species. 5/5! Congratulations, Phantom!

Poison - nope. 0/5.

Primal - attacks those more evil than him, but is not as un-evil as Phantom. If you own any cool objects, he'll probably try to steal them if you break up. 2/5.

Prototype - the quote at the top of his Biosector page literally calls him "Unstable, yes; violent, unquestionably; insane, without a doubt." 0/5.

Ravager - needs to have something to do or he'll destroy everything around him; very high-maintenance. Comes as a package-deal with his sentient sword and shield.

Savage - prone to fits of violence from being part-Rahi, so maybe don't unless you work with dangerous animals. 1/5.

Seeker - a cardboard cutout whose only personality trait is wanting to find the Mask of Light; while it would probably be easy to trick him into going on a romantic getaway, it can't make up for his lack of personality otherwise. 3/5.

Sentrakh - eww. Also, another member of The Shadowed One's toxic polycule. 0/5.

Shadow Stealer - he just wants a purpose in life. However, he also hates Toa for essentially stealing his job. 2/5.

Silence - doesn't seem to actually kill anyone, but he does kidnap people, so there is a chance that you'll come home to find one of your co-workers tied to a chair in your living room.

Spinner - not good with eye-contact. This would make him a 5/5, if it wasn't for the fact that he makes the air around him poisonous. 0/5.

Subterranean - what, you wanna get disassembled? 0/5.

Tracker - loves animals? Hates Visorak? Cardboard? Damn, sounds like a total 3/5.

Triglax - likes stealing things that people ask him to retrieve, so if you ask him to get a takeaway he'll probably just eat the whole thing.

Vanisher - kills any partners assigned to him. 0/5.

Vengeance - rounding us out, it's another cardboard cutout whose entire personality - wanting revenge on Teridax - gets invalidated by the end. 3/5.

Dear bionicle tumblr:

Which dark hunter would be the best date and why

[ot3]

going to put the ask meme stuff under here so i dont spam people

Anonymous asked:

how's homura for the character opinion meme?

i haven’t rewatched PMMM since i was around 15 so my memory of it is REALLY not the best! i wish i had more to say here. homura is a fantastic character but of course i think she is at her best when being understood through her relationship to madoka. you really cant look at her in isolation. thats just what being a teen lesbian is like its really exactly that. she was so woke for stealing all those guns too

idlyingabout asked:

edgeworth and maya for the character opinion bingo

edgeworth:

god i love edgeworth his arc is so fucking good. incredible stuff. hit so much harder than i ever really thought it could going in. it might be a bit unexpected to see me calling him the best character in the work as a diehard phoenix stan but although phoenix is absolutely no questions my favorite, I truly think edgeworth has the better character writing. they really hit it out of the park with that litlte freak i’m so obsessed with him, i’m going to be thinking about him on and off for the rest of my life probably.

maya:

this makes it seem like i dont have that much to say about maya but the things i have to say about her are just mostly absent from this bingo sheet. i hate watching fans reduce her (and. every other girl in this series) to Narumitsu Advocate when shes really got so much to offer on her own. Also the shit they did with her in aa6 was so evil, it sucked to essentially watch her be a cardboard cutout that could only gasp in shock and tell phoenix to do something. really sad. there was a ton of stuff you could do with mayas character if you were gonna bring spirit channeling back as a plot point and they did none of it.

Anonymous asked:

krisgav for character opinion bingo

the fact that i will never know what is behind kristoph gavin’s black psyche locks will haunt me for the rest of my life

Anonymous asked:

Barok Van zieks and sholmes for bingo

bvz:

i think barok is funny but he is more of a comic relief character to me than anyone whose feelings or arc i actually give a shit about.

sholmes:

one of the most fascinating new types of guys takumi has invented.

Anonymous asked:

kim dokja for the bingo

kim dokja [bursts into tears]

Anonymous asked:

Apollo!! for the chara opinion bingo :3

my apollo opinions are very difficult for me to reckon with because i like him plenty in aa4, but most of what we get in aa4 is places his character Could go. he really doesnt get his own arc. i genuinely dont consider the stuff in aa 5/6 to be canon and i think the absolute trampling the writing got in those games killed any chance of him ever being a coherent or well executed character.

escaliburn asked:

Ema or Lana Skye

ema:

listen i know ema is in a lot of games and gets three whole designs but that doesn’t mean she’d had enough screentime. never enough ema screentime. i love ema so much shes fantastic i think she could carry her own games.

lana:

lana gets done dirty in that almost none of the fans who talk about her ever talk about her outside of the context of lanamia, which i think is really overblown as a ship. i think lana and mia were definitely fucking but i dont think theyre any kind of star crossed lovers. i say wasted potential because although i think rfta handled her perfectly and did exactly what it needed to do with her, the fact that she never comes up again is really tragic. shes a great character and i would have loved to see her brought back. i havent fully replayed RFTA yet and the first time i was playing it my focus was less on her as a character, obviously, but going through the whole thing for a second time ill definitely be picking her brain a bit more and will probably construct a few mind palaces there.

prringlecan asked:

Completely forgot if you’ve played dgs or not but perhaps susato for the character bingo? If not, maybe Mia?

yes ive played dgs!

SUSATOSWEEEP SUSATO FOREVER SUSATO BEST GIRL. give her her own game. give us Susato Investigations.

[stanfordsweater]

happy wincest wednesday ava!

what's the fic that converted you to wincest? not necessarily the first you remember reading, but the first that impressed you and stayed with you all these years?

happy wincest wednesday, vicky!!! 🥳🥰

how do i choose when we're blessed with such a huge collection of amazing authors?

i'm gonna go with the first fic that made me recognize the value of fic as a character study, and that's hold on to another plan by likewinning.

it takes place in the universe of what is and what should never be as if it were a real universe instead of just a fantasy, and i was really impressed with how real the characters feel despite being (intentional) cardboard cutouts in the episode. dean's relationship with mary is written so tenderly ;~; obviously sam and dean's relationship is the focus, but it's really thoughtful about fleshing out mary and other side characters, especially their relationships with dean and sam. alt!dean's low self-esteem and self-sabotaging tendencies are right there from the first paragraph, and it's heartbreaking to see how this version of dean grows into the silverware-stealing, gambling version of himself that dean dreams up in the show. at the same time, i found it really hard to imagine how the brothers would end up estranged while i was reading-- which makes the impact when you read it unfold all that much worse. i loved that the author approached it through the universal constant that sam and dean truly get along and enjoy spending time with each other, and didn't make it as melodramatic as it could have been. i think a lot of people are drawn to really dramatic blowouts, but the way wiawsnb!sam and dean interact makes this the much better choice.

[soup-du-silence]

Idk if we’re still talking about this but I am SO mad we never got ANYTHING about Lena and her adoptive family (outside of violet- actually, no. We should have had more Lena and violet as well) like... really? We’re just gonna skip over the abuse victim learning to love and live with her new family? I know it’s probably because Disney didn’t want gay dads to have more screen time, but come on! It felt like Lena had a huge change between friendship hates magic and Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks and we never got to see it!

Oh I'll probably always have something to say about it lol. Every other day this week I've slammed open the door to twitter to go "AND ANOTHER THING..." because the more I think about it, the more I find something to get mad about. Maybe its not the most productive mindset to have, but honestly releasing frustrations on stuff that ultimately doesn't matter has been very therapeutic.

Okay, so. The bulk of season 3 was sort of "wrap-up" episodes for secondary and tertiary characters that weren't gonna get attention in the finale. Some of these episodes really struggled to find something to say about those characters, especially if their stuff wrapped up pretty nicely in the course of season 2, victims of "we write every season as though it was our last." Lena's arc is one of those. In Killmotor Hill, she gains confidence to believe in herself as a unique person and to stand up to magica. By the S2 finale she's slinging spells with no problems. So when it came time to revisit and send Lena off in season 3, they had to manufacture some new problem for her.

And the phantom and the sorceress sucked.

The manufactured problem (lenas powers are unpredictable and she hates them) was already resolved in season 2. The solution (webby suggests they go to magica for help) fucking sucks. Webby would put herself between Lena and Magica at any cost. But its very urgent that they fix lenas problems and stop the blot from stealing magic because SCROOGE is trapped in another dimension. Also gladstone is there because everyone was asking the crew about magicstone probably around the time this episode was being pitched. Or whatever.

Sigh.

Anyway they should have torn this episode down to the foundation and set it in the sabrewing household.

Its baffling to me that they never said on screen ONCE where Lena is living. There are two context clues: "sister from another mister" which is just a ....thing people say, very specifically about people who are not their siblings, and Lena and Vi sharing a bed in the christmas episode, which looks way more like a sleep-over than it would have if they had given them separate beds. Make Lena look like a permanent fixture and not that shes just crashing for the night.

But if we had set the phantom and the sorceress at the sabrewing home, we could have seen it. We could have seen lena and violet defend their family, or the dads try to protect them, we could have seen how much they love her. One of the dads could have shouted mindfulness techniques or something when she fumbles in a fight, implying they've been helping her through therapy. Blot could have still been there, magica could have still been there, both convening at the same time to take lenas magic with varying levels of effectiveness... but the episode absolutely should have been centered on what Lena needs for herself, not what she needs to do for scrooge or gladstone.

I suppose ty and Indy would have to be more than cardboard cutouts in the background for that to happen, though. 🙃

Somewhere along the line, Ducktales stopped being a show that wanted to tell interesting stories full of heart that sometimes got kind of dark. I want to say...around the time Della came back? Because the stuff about Lena in season 1 was really dark and compelling and the early stuff about Della in season 2 was good (she amputated her own leg!!) but round about the time she got integrated into the cast and we started focusing on the moonlanders and not how she had to learn how to be a person in society again with kids she doesnt know, it kind of all became....cameos and catchphrases. Like the show didnt want to get deep or challenging anymore.

Anyway yeah they did Lena really dirty.

[muirmarie]

I an once again Scheming

(just like my mcspirk bingo card this is just me rambling through ideas for these, haha. and yes, yes these are uhhhhh p much exclusively centered on mccoy, but in, like, a triumvirate way, probably, whether romantic or platonic)

also feel free to peruse my ramblings if you want, but only if you're okay with?? the prompts above??? i'm just going to point at that big black box above as a trigger warning.

(These are specifically NOT supposed to be, uh, Stories, they are supposed to just be me, y'know, trying to write for fun lmaoooo, and I am, unfortunately, going to be SO mean to Leonard McCoy (i'm so sorry best beloved, it's only because I love you so so so so so much)

Recorded/Broadcast Torture (there are few things that make me want to eat drywall and punch the sky as much as this prompt. I am so sorry for who I am going to reveal myself to be when i write this lmaooooo. but you can't put a big screen on the bridge, and then not expect cardboard cutout evil people to force you to watch them torture your doctor, tbh.)

Captive Push (spock, mccoy, & kirk being force marched an incredibly long distance? mccoy, not only the least fit of the three, but the one most likely to mouth off? yeah.)

Hurts to Breathe (thinking about the scene in Castle with Esposito and Ryan where Ryan is getting half-drowned in ice water. Not 100 on this, but that's what first came to mind.)

Claustrophobia (same, babe, same. I'm honestly thinking of that scene in the first season of The 100 where Kane crawls through the bowels of the ship or whatever to get to Abby to save her.)

Killing in Self-Defense (actually SO into this for McCoy - specifically SELF-defense, not defending someone else. EXTREMELY this. a big bowl of guilt that looks so yummy. spock and kirk both have to be like. Hey. We need you alive.)

Forced to Kneel/Bow (see the thing is i don't think mccoy would actually hesitate for a moment to kneel if someone else's life is at stake. i don't think it would even bother him for a second. but he would make a beautiful damsel to make others kneel. you see my vision?)

Knife to the Throat (I do actually already have this plotted and started from that initial post when I was like HMMM should I get a bad things happen bingo card lmao)

Scarpia Ultimatum (Khan???? Khan?????? Almost definitely Khan tbh, I am so sorry Leonard my love)

Innocent Bystander (you're the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong goddamn time)

Chained Heat (Leonard and Spock ABSOLUTELY chained together and trying to save Jim, like this writes itself tbh [narrator: she says this all the time and nothing ever writes itself???])

Sensory Deprivation (i had an idea for a different fandom a million years ago re: sensory deprivation, specifically the aftermath, where the character just genuinely Could Not Stand To Be Alone for, like, weeks. and there is something there re: that tbh. especially the hiding it? the trying to deal with it on his own? the frustration of Spock and Kirk of let me help. yeah. I might steal that from myself wholesale tbh.)

Compelling Voice (i was gonna say this could be my plato's stepchildren au BUT that's not really the same thing, is it. maybe something more similar to archons, as in: forced to hurt the ones you love. HMMMM.)

Sleep Deprivation (50/50 on if this is self-inflicted or not - aka running oneself ragged dealing w/ an emergency or forcibly kept awake by bad guys, honestly will just play that by ear when I get there. *ETA - okay i actually know what i'm doing with this now - mccoy, already badly sleep deprived, is accidentally poisoned by spock (vulcan coffee is poisonous to humans who knew) AND part of them ensuring it's safely out of his system involves him having to stay awake for a further idk 48 hours as spock tries to pretend guilt isn't eating him alive (ty elian & discord)*)

Bridal Carry (let the Vulcan bridal carry the injured doctor!!!! He deserves it!!! they both do!!!! *eta: actually, like, i am considering the comedy value of mccoy just having to be bridal carried by multiple people? like he's half-in half-out of consciousness and every time he's lucid he's FURIOUS at this, but they HAVE to get a like a full day's walk away, and spock is MOSTLY the one carrying him, but like kirk and scotty and others have to help as well (they're probably doing fireman carry's tho tbh, they're not as strong as spock), but !!! carry the doctor to the finish line!! get him somewhere safe!! he is SO angry at this!!! at one point uhura and chekhov have his arms around their shoulders and they're carrying him and he is Spitting Mad and trying to insist he can walk, and she just kisses his cheek and tells if he doesn't shut up and let them help she's gonna break his legs <333 and he's like jesus christ uhura, and she just smiles sweetly and says they're gonna save him despite himself tbh. he's probably like. poisoned. so he's super disoriented and has no balance and CAN'T walk, but no broken bones/etc to have to worry about. also that gives an inherent time crunch. yeah. yeah.*)

Terms of Endangerment (honestly the bad guys calling the good guy darling/sweetheart/etc while hurting them is like.......................................yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. what if they kiss the inside of your wrist and tell you how good you're being for them, and then they push their knife a little deeper in your side. what then.)

Ears Ringing (explosion, bleeding a little from the ears, stumbling through the wreckage trying to help people, possibly doesn't realized he's more injured than he thinks until someone else points it out)

Attack the Injury (this is one that always gets a visceral reaction from me when they do it on shows/movies. i imagine it will also get a visceral reaction from kirk and spock when it's done to mccoy.)

Going into Shock (classic of the genre, what even needs to said, the people who love you are gonna say your name so gently and then start yelling it as they panic, you know how this goes, c'mon)

Tongue-Tied (classic that tumblr post "we're the fucking-with-you-aliens and we're here to fuck with you" situation tbh)

Empathic Healing (hey wouldn't it be fucked up if the Vians gave that ability to McCoy when they healed him? Wouldn't that be super fucked up? Spock and Kirk are gonna hunt them down and kill them with their bare hands, tbh. that is like the one superpower McCoy could absolutely not handle. I'd have to figure a way to get him out of it tho so that requires some Thought.)

Denied Food as Punishment (he's too skinny already =( he's giving his food to the prisoners he thinks need it more so he doesn't get any =( he's sitting at a table overflowing with food and if he takes a single bite it means no one else will be allowed to eat. something along those lines)

Cave In (i mean genuinely who doesn't love a good ot3 cave in stylez)

Love Potion/Love Spell (i'm more a fan of the non-traditional versions of this tbh - the person who gives the potion isn't the one the potion drinker falls in love with. like maybe character a is secretly dating characters b and c, but the potion giver doesn't know that, and to try to sow chaos has character a "fall in love" with character b - which leads to character a seemingly falling out of love with character c. something to think about.)

I Ain't Got Time to Bleed (honestly he could've invented this trope.)

Shock Collar (see you put a shock collar on a doctor and then you put him near injured people and you tell him he isn't allowed to heal anyone and then you pretend you're not watching (j/k i really have nothing planned for this that was just my first immediate thought))

Here is your card for Bad Things Happen Bingo. Happy writing!

[heyitssmiller]

Hello Miller!! Hope you’re having a good day! Coming at you with pt. 4 of lovestruck boys and bakeries 🏒🍰 [@lumosinlove character credit]

Skates shaved against ice as Logan pushed forward.

They were just practicing, a friendly 4v4 game at the end of a good day. They were only playing until one team reached five points - and Logan’s team was winning, four to three.

One more point and they’d come out the victors.

“Talker!” He called, trying to get his attention as his teammate was pressed closer to the boards by Pascal.

Talker slapped the puck over to him, finally, and Logan shot off with it, smooth and fast.

The other team flurried around him like sharks in the water, each one watching for prey to grab and sink their teeth into. Logan wasn’t gonna let them steal it away from him.

“Ouvert!” Jackson yelled, and Logan sent the puck flying between the quick glide of Remus’ skates.

“Motherfucker,” he heard Loops mutter as Jackson was left unguarded, easily using his momentum to surge past Finn to the goal. With one fast hit, the puck fumbled past Timmy’s goalie pads and struck the net.

It might as well have struck gold.

Logan whooped along with the others who had won, skating a victory lap and slamming into Jackson, sending them both skidding.

“Aw, fucking shit!” He heard Finn yell, and his smug smile only grew.

The winners unloaded off the ice first, talking about the great shots they’d scored.

Logan caught Finn’s eye on the ice over Kasey’s shoulder, and Finn pouted comically at him. “Leave me, then!” his boyfriend called dramatically. Logan laughed, face scrunching together like it did when he felt comfortable enough to let his guard down.

In the locker room, once he had showered and reemerged with wet curls, he made his way back to his stall. Finn was standing at his own, next to Logan’s, in a towel with his back to him.

Logan wrapped his arms around the redhead’s waist and squeezed. “Are you still sad you lost?”

Finn dropped his head back onto Logan’s shoulder. “I’m gonna be sad forever, Lo. How could you? I thought you loved me!”

“I do!” Logan promised with a kiss to the freckle right on Finn’s pulse point. “But I love beating your ass on the ice more.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Finn pulled away as he grabbed his t-shirt from his bag.

“I’m sorry you’re so heartbroken,” Logan teased as he turned back to his stall.

Finn twisted his shirt and whipped it at Logan’s bare chest with a smirk. “You can make it up to me later.”

“Non, non, non. Non,” Dumo said emphatically, covering his ears. “I don’t want to hear about that!”

“Then I’ll change the subject,” Loops supplied as he put his watch back on. “What do you guys want for wedding favors? Sirius and I figured that since you’re gonna be the ones taking them home, it should at least be something you like.”

“A life-sized cardboard cutout of both of you,” Talker announced. “I’ll prop that baby up in my living room.”

Remus shoved his shoulder.

“How about cookies?” Dumo suggested. “A special wedding design for the icing, or special shapes. You could get them from that baker your cake is from. Il s'appelle…what was his name?”

“Leo,” Logan said, at the same time that Finn said,

“You mean Leo?”

“Oui!” Dumo said, clapping his hands in delight. He looked back at Finn and Logan. “Leo. A nice man, non?”

Finn’s neck and cheeks bloomed red, and Logan looked down at his feet.

“Hm, that’s an interesting idea, Dumo,” Remus said thoughtfully, thankfully moving the conversation along.

Finn glanced down at Logan, both of them facing away from the group now. “We see him Sunday,” he murmured a reminder.

“At noon,” Logan nodded, lips turning up at the thought as he pushed a snapback onto his head.

Finn smiled. “Can’t wait.”

“I can’t do it, Marley, I fucking can’t.” Leo was clutching a washcloth in his hand, squeezing it hard enough that the water it had collected leaked back onto the counter and left the rag rough in his hand. “You have to do it for me. Please, God, do it for me.”

Marlene raised an eyebrow at Leo as she picked another grape off its stem. “I don’t think I’m the one they want to see.”

Leo lowered himself into the chair next to her and closed his eyes, clasping his hands for good measure. “Lord in heaven, please, please don’t make me face their cute faces. I’ll faint if I do it. I’ll drop dead.”

She chuckled. “You’re so dramatic, Leo.”

“I’m serious!”

“I know!” She laughed harder.

Leo pursed his lips. “Marlene, I’m begging you right now. I really can’t. Maybe I won’t drop dead, but I’ll cry. They’re gonna be all…gooey, and mushy, and in love, and engaged - and I can’t handle that!”

She looked up into his pleading eyes and sighed. “What will you do when I show up as their consultant, and they ask for you?”

“Hide,” Leo answered automatically, and Marlene cracked up again. “No, don’t laugh!” He whined. “I...I’ll figure something out by then, just- just trust me, it’ll work!”

Frank pushed the two-way door to the kitchen open with his shoulder. “Hey, chill out back here you two. Any louder and the customers will hear your bickering.”

“We’re not fighting, we’re having a crisis,” Marlene informed him as Leo sulked next to her.

“Both of you?”

She shook her head as she bit into a grape. “Remember that famous couple Leo’s crushing on? They’re coming in on Sunday for their wedding cake, and Leo wants to avoid them. He asked me to manage their appointment for them instead of him.”

Frank raised an eyebrow at Leo. “I don’t think she’s the one they want to talk with.”

“Right?!” Marlene chuckled. “That’s what I said!”

Leo put his head in his hands and groaned. “Sweet mercy. I am so, so screwed.”

*SCREECH*

WHAT A WONDERFUL THING TO FIND IN MY INBOX

[dragynkeep]

Top 5 worst male characters and Top 5 worst female characters in RWBY, and brief reasons why?

This is the type of ask that’s gonna get me shit but I have known no hubris in my life so let’s go. These won’t be in the case of being intentionally bad, I’m doing more on personal taste and the quality of their writing. 

Worst Male Characters

1. Adam Taurus

Obviously, Adam is at the top of the list for me. His storyline was butchered from a story of racism and vigilantism to a story about domestic abuse, his brand was cheap shock value with very little substance, he stopped being threatening after the Fall of Beacon and instead became a whiny little bitch, and his voice acting is just bad.

He sounds like he’s gonna call me a slur on Xbox Live.

2. Jacques Schnee

Yeah, the abusive rich man who runs slave mines is bad, but that’s not the main reason he’s on this list. I could accept a character like that if the writers made him good, but they didn’t. Jacques wasn’t intimidating at all. He wasn’t smart at all. The man who conned his father in law and wife into giving him complete control of the most powerful company in Remnant is not the same man we get in the actual show.

He’s whiny, cowardly, and a useless villain who’s entire downfall was treated like a poorly made joke, and now only serves as comic relief in the Jailbirds scenes in V8. 

3. Hazel Rainart

Same issues with Jacques and Adam, but less egregious. Hazel was actually a pretty interesting villain in his earlier volumes, and even after his blunder at the Batlle of Haven, he went back to being kinda good in V6 with his protective behaviour towards Emerald. And then V8 came around and I grew to hate how stupid his reasons for joining Salem were, and the fact that he just beat the shit outta Oscar while whining about his dead sister.

Bro, Idgaf about someone I never met while you’re maiming a 15 year old boy because you wanna be mad at the guy in his head. 

4. Qrow Branwen

It’s the same case with Hazel. I actually liked Qrow up until V6, and even then I cared enough to try and see where his alcoholism arc went since it’s a serious issue that affects not only my family, but my people. I started to dislike him after he punched Oscar and kept being horrible to the boy, all without apologising in the end, but v7 and 8 made me really hate him. 

I don’t care for his edgy attitude, and I don’t care that he got his self-help book boyfriend murdered by a crackhead. Add onto CRWBY butchering a serious topic about alcoholism with him, and he’s just sank right down writing sense.

5. Ghira Belladonna

I never liked Ghira. I think the others are higher than him on this list just on the virtue that I liked them, or the idea of them, and the writing just pulled them down so much.

But I never had that problem with Ghira, so the disappointment doesn’t sting as bad. He’s just an unnecessary character that cheapens Blake since she’s now a princess, a useless father who somehow couldn’t get his own 12 year old daughter back even thought she didn’t even bother to change her own name, and then featured live on a tournament channel that the whole world saw. He was a useless leader, his ideology was stupid and almost got him and others killed, and he was so ungrateful towards Adam for saving his stupid furry ass that I completely sided with Sienna calling him the fuck out.

At least he’s not on my screen anymore, but I know that won’t last forever and I gotta look at his dumb face again.

Worst Female Characters

1. Cinder Fall

God, she is the worst villain and character in this show. She’s so flat, her stans are annoying as fuck, her voice leaves a lot to be desired, and the fact that there’s hardly anything to her for seven years makes it even worse now that we finally got a backstory for her, and it’s one we ALL GUESSED.

Who would’ve thought she’d be a Cinderella who killed her abusive family, I am shooketh. 

2. Blake Belladonna

Blake was my favourite girl in RWBY and I’m mad at CRWBY for what they’ve done to her.

It says a lot that a girl still affected by the abuse and trauma of fighting in a terrorist organisation has more personality and backbone than one who’s supposedly broken free of her traumatic past and moved forward. Blake now is spineless, flat, boring ass cardboard cutout of what she once was, who would rather let her human friends defend her from racists than call them out herself like she did to Weiss in Volume 1. 

She’s spoiled, priviledged, annoying, and Arryn has such a flat voice on top of being a gross ass person that I get annoyed every time she speaks. She’s no longer an oppressed minority fighting for the rights of her people, she’s a princess who would rather go to a club with people she didn’t even like than a rally against the man who caused so much suffering to her people. Even her talk with Nora about not letting yourself be taken over by who you’re with romantically is hypocritical, since that’s exactly what’s happened to her since she’s been paired up with Yang.

She couldn’t even have the spotlight of fighting her own VILLAIN, Yang was the one who broke Adam’s Aura and had the big triumphant moment of throwing his sword in the river while she was too busy fucking rock climbing. 

3. Yang Xiao Long

Yang was my second favourite girl in RWBY and I’m mad at CRWBY for what they’ve done to her.

Yang wasn’t super developed in the earlier volumes. Honestly, I didn’t think much until her talk with Blake about Raven in Burning The Candle, and her dismemberment leading her towards depression and PTSD. Come Volume 4, I was alright with the portrayal of her recovery. I don’t think they gave enough time between her trying on the arm and then being good enough to leave, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t bad. 

What was bad was everything after. Yang became a hypocritical, moody bitch who would drag everyone for their bad decisions while ignoring her own. Her PTSD, something VERY personal to me, was ruined and up and vanished by V7 since she’s now killed the man who gave her the disorder so obviously it’s cured! She is always on Ozpin’s case for the birds shit, and then keeping secrets, but then goes and does the exact same thing while giving little resistance to others doing it because they’re family.

Even her argument with Ruby in V8 was tame as fuck. She blamed Ruby for things not going well while ignoring that it was her own dumbass decisions that contributed to it. Ruby didn’t tell Yang to go and spill the beans to Robyn, her stupid cat girlfriend did that, and Yang went along with it while being unrepentant later on when Ironwood was RIGHTFULLY pissed about it.

Add onto v8 then having her worry about how BLAKE thought about her, rather than RUBY, and I just hate her. This ain’t Yang, I want Yang back. 

4. Nora Valkyrie

Nora is just a flat character. Her voice is annoyingly high pitched and screechy, her jokes aren’t funny, and all the things I loved that she got in v4 was later dropped entirely. She had such good moments in V4 that actually made me appreciate her more, and then she just became another hypocrite in v7 who wanted to yell at Ironwood while refusing to look at her own flaws.

On top of her kissing Ren when he was clearly not in the mood to talk, and it made me hate her. It’s not a cute ship moment, it’s a creepy disrespect of someone’s personal space. If it was the other way around, no one would think it was cute.

5. Robyn Hill

Similar to Ghira’s reasons, I never liked Robyn, so she’s low down on the list compared to the others since at one point I loved the others (Minus Cinder but she’s just so bad that she’s #1).

Robyn isn’t a good freedom fighter. She runs in without thinking about things and then proceeds to deny any responsibility of her actions. She won’t accept that maybe her agreeing with the same serial killer that nearly killed her and Fiona, on top of succeeding in murdering some of her supporters and Forest, and starting a fight with Clover in an enclosed space wasn’t a good idea. 

Add onto the fact that she’s really just incompetent. She steals supplies from Ironwood to fix the wall and help Mantle, but after time we see that nothing has been done. 

Christina Vee is wasted on her honestly.

[randomtheidiot]

I can’t just completely remove the crush because I think it would be interesting to explore what would happen if Canon!Serena weren’t a soulless corporate cardboard cutout of a preteen-aged human girl. However, the way it’s handled would be a lot more different.

For one, the kiss would be replaced with something like a hug because I think it works better for their relationship dynamic and a hug is less fucking nasty than a random kiss on the mouth from two characters who aren’t dating. Part of the reason why Serena hasn’t returned since XY is because the writers really don’t want to talk about the escalator kiss scene, and personally, I agree. Not gonna make things that serious. Pokémon is not a romance show.

Another thing would be that Serena is less one note. She actually has the potential to be a very interesting character, but only when she’s been quarantined by the writers. The minute Ash is on screen, she’s immediately sucked into his gravitational field. Just take all her character traits that she has in isolation and make them more important.

Also, make her less of a creep. She’s fucking weird in canon and I don’t like it. She pelts Ash with snowballs when he has a bad day and doesn’t live up to her idealized version of him, then lets him wander off into a raging snowstorm. She leaves her home and everything she’s ever loved because she saw him on a news report once. She kept a filthy, bloody scrap of fabric he gave her to use as a bandage when he was six years old. SHE STEALS HIS CLOTHES WHILE HE’S SICK AND FULL OF NASTY ASS PESTILENCE. It reminds me of that blue haired girl from that French superhero show nobody likes.

If I could rewrite the Pokémon anime.

All of the main characters up to XY are a little feral. Even if they weren’t before, they’ve been living in the woods for so long that they've adjusted to the chaos. The S&M kids don’t know what to make of it.

Aura gets foreshadowed the minute Ash leaves Pallet. It still only gets confirmed in the Lucario movie, but it’s obvious from day one that there’s something weird about him. Also, I think it would be funny if (until Lucario came along) he adamantly refused to believe in aura outside of certain Pokémon moves. You know, while he’s actively understanding Pokéspeak and sending out unintentional waves of aura.

Personalities are more consistent. All the 4Kids era characters have a bit of an edge to them while all of the game import characters are more accurate to their game counterparts.

Diamondshipping and Silverspawnshipping are both real. Replace Paul with Silver. Let the shitfuckening begin.

Make some serious changes to Serena’s character arc. I wouldn’t kill Amourshipping outright, but I’d make it less clunky and uncomfortable. Everyone wins.

Give Bonnie and Clemont more screentime.

Instead of Ash being brainwiped for S&M, make him a mix of his sassy Indigo and serious XY incarnations, with a bit of trauma from the Kalos crisis. I just think it would be really funny to put that kind of character into the slice of life school setting of S&M.

Change Goh a bit. He’s wonderful, but he’s a little messy and I think his Suicune privileges should be revoked. Maybe instead of catching every Pokémon he sees with no issue, he trains his Pokémon so that they’re strong enough to take on Mew. Also let it slip that Ash has actually met Mew, because that could be funny as hell.

Let Chloe be part of the squad for real.