#warning bawal ma fall

[saradesuchiha]

hihuhihuhihu 💗💗💗

[iamdslr]

2ND COVER ILLUSTRATION 🥹💗

POPFICTIONBOOKS | LAZADA | SHOPEE

[walangtruelovebes-blog]

Bhie, well hindi mo naman mababasa to since naka-off ang hangout mo. Anyways, hello!

Gusto lang kita dramahan, haha! I'm so sad na hindi mo nanaman ako sini-seen at na-bye na naman akong without notice.wala naman akong magagawa pero,alam mo naman na may feelings ako sayo. HAHAHA kahit bawal, kahit hindi pwede. kahit hindi dapat.

Sorry. Hindi ko naman sadya. Never kong sinadya. Hindi ko naman din gusto pero I can't help it! So I let myself. HAHAHA

Salamat sa oras, sa pagsagot sa mga chats ko, sa pagseen. Sa lahat ng responses mo, sa lahat lahat. HAHA. Salamat sa lahat.

Sa memories, care and maybe love? kahit naman siguro konti may love yan. HAHA

I'm really hoping na hindi mo to mabasa, but if you do, please... wag sana magbago. Like before.No awkwardness. No something.Just like before, you know.

This is very elementary and high school though, but I really need to say it or write it down. I'm not okay of what we've become. Bakit ganun? Hindi mo man lang ako nasabihan ng mga bawal, pero evicted na ako agad. Wala namang warning signs. Hindi na kita mabira, seryoso ka na. HAHA

we used to glide and go with the flow. Sana sinabi mo kung nagbago na. Sana sinabi mo kung titigil na.Sana naiform akong hindi ka na magrereply. Sana, hahahaha! Nyetang sana yan,

Kung biruan lang naman, sana ,biruan lang. Kasi nung una pala lang biruan na. Ang mali lang kasi dito is, nafall ako.HIndi ko naman inexpect na masasalo ako. Sakit kayang ma-fall. HAHA! ang hard, friend! Hindi ko kaya. HAHAHA

Sorry. Sorry sa kakulitan ko.Sorry sa mga inis mong naramdaman.Sorry sa pressure, kung meron.Sorry sa mga bawal na natanong.Sorry sa mga maling pagbasa ng nangyayari sa paligid. Sorry sa panggugulo. Sorry din sa lahat, sorry.Sana pagtapos nito, tapos na din ako.

Tapos na kong umasa. Tapos na kong mag-antay. Tapos na ko masaktan. Tapos na kong manghingi ng atensyon mo.

Fuck, Bhie. Hindi ko talaga alam anong nangyari.

I hope this message will never be seen.Sana code na lang sya forever.

[girlwith-thebrokensmile]

Warning : bawal pa-fall or ma-fall?

Hahahahaha ikr ang ganda ko para magpaasa ng isang lalaki. Pero ang bad kase e, beshy u so bad, operation paasahin sa mayor. Alam kong di tama kase alam ko na mali. Pero why does it feels so right doing the wrong thing. Yung tipong kapag alam ko or nararamdaman ko na nagseselos siya sa ibang lalaki kahit wala naman, parang natutuwa ako. Ang evil nakakainis. Ang sama kong tao. That was just the beginning. Nakalimutan ko mahina nga pala ako, nakalimutan ko tanga nga pala ako, nakalimutan ko maawain pala ako, nakalimutan ko na sobrang dali ko pala mahulog. Pero ngayon, inuna kong gamitin yung utak ko kase muntik na. Muntik na kong mahulog sa bitag niya. Sa mukha niya na parang anghel, sa mga yakap niya na sobrang higpit, sa mga matatamis na salitang sinasabi niya. Ako lang daw, sorry pero di ako ganun katanga. Sabi niya ako lang daw. Ako lang ang ang para sa kanya. So ayun ang gulo netong paking blog na to. Pero ayun nga, isa po akong certified paasa, akala ko mapapaasa ko siya bandang huli ako yung umasa lol joke. Never.

[thedaisynextdoor]

The trophy girlfriend

WARNING THIS WILL TAKE TIME TO READ.

yes. you read it right. kung may trophy wife meron ding trophy girlfriend, and i was his trophy girlfriend while i remained loyal to him for almost seven years. i fell inlove with him noong hs palang kami. sobrang dami kong tinalikuran para sakanya. my mistake, i should have never let him become my world because now everything is falling apart. so anyway, bakit nga ba ako naging trophy gf? first let me describe myself. hindi ako girly type. mas astig pa ako sa guy friends ko. Bookworm, nerd, kaya kong lumabas ng bahay ng naka pajama lang at mas prefer kong magstay sa bahay at matulog kesa gumala. Di ako mahilig sa make up for short sobrang plain ko lang na babae. Face wise mukha naman akong tao, haggard nga lang palagi. Wala akong arte sa katawan. Boyish ako since i grew up with my brothers and their friends plus most of my friends are guys. Achiever din ako sa school, nasa honors list or top ng klase. pili lang ang friends ko and theres only two persons who knows me inside and out. School at bahay. Dyan lang umiikot ang mundo ko. my friends told me ako daw yung girlfriend and wifey material but i know i am not. The thing is my downside, depressed ako, theres something wrong with me emotionally. i am a mess even before he came into my life. Sobrang minahal ko sya to the point na kahit ang daming nanliligaw at may gusto sakin di ko pinapansin dahil nasa kanya na lahat ng attention ko. My friends hated him because hes a cheater ( I caught and forgave him so many times I lost count), a smoker and drinker, playboy lahat na ng masama tinawag nila sknya but i defended him. i fell so deeply inlove with him that i started changing. i kept secrets from my best frieds and family. patago ang relationship namin and i felt guilty about it. I was reckless. one day magiging legal din kami, thats what i hoped for but never nangyari. hindi na ako nakikinig sa trusted friends ko. i kept defending him kahit alam kong tama sila. ganun tlga pag mahal mo eh, against all odds i still loved him kahit nasasaktan at nauubos na ako. i am strong but he became my weakness. i begged for his attention kahit kami na. i begged for his time. LDR kasi eh kaya medyo mahirap. for the first time in my whole life i begged for someone to love me. foolish, i know. He didnt love me. i was only an ego boost for him. i was only good for his reputation. kasi sa lahat ng naging babae nya ako yung kakaiba,he told me i was the only girl who never gave up on him no matter how fcked up he is, and i do. i accept him, all of him. until that fateful day na nalaman ko lahat. that day when i almost died.

i have a weak heart and weak lungs. sakitin akong tao. break na kami noong nalaman ko lahat lahat. 5 months ago may girlfriend na pala siyang iba and on that period he was courting me again and I said yes. Pinagsabay nya kami. i went to his place on our sembreak and that time nag away kami we were on the verge of breaking up. i asked him if he still loves me and if he still wants this. he said yes. so i risked everything.i can still remember when I held his hands while asking him those questions, I prayed to God “ Lord please, one last time. Forgive him, I know he’ll try harder this time. Just one last chance.” Hindi ako religious, I admit that but I started praying ever since I met him and I always prayed for him even if hes put me through hell. I was sick during that month. prelim exams and thesis were eating me. Then before our 4th monthsary (exactly seven years na sana) we broke up and we lost connection. My friends send threats to him and I was mad at him pero nangibabaw ang katangahan ko, I told my friends to stop it, na hayaan na siya, I asked for closure and he did give me that. We talked about all our plans, our unsaid problems, everything. I thought magbabalikan kami but I had it, I let him go. I respect his parents because that’s what he said, na pag nahuli kami paghihiwalayin kami and he doesn’t want that to happen. I cried the whole night. Until one day my friend saw his posts with his new girl. what hurts the most? wala pang isang buwan ang break up namin meron na agad syang iba. hes even proudly flirting with her sa facebook na never nyang ginawa sakin because of the reason na if makita ng parents nya paghihiwalayin kami, i didnt want that to happen so i broke up with him. I lost it. I became even more depressed. i am broken. i am suicidal and he knows it. so I took medicines, 500mg of medicines na bawal sakin kasi may allergies ako sa gamot. I wanted to take the pain away. I wanted everything to stop.

I gulped countless pills until my face got swollen and I couldn’t breathe. I ended up in the emergency.  i know people would judge and laugh at me for what i did. but the pain was too much to handle. yung pain na parang hindi ka na makahinga kasi sobrang sikip na sa dibdib. yung tipong parang paulit ulit kang sinasaksak. yung sakit na gusto mo nlng mamatay para mawala na lahat. i hated hospitals. dati kahit kailangan na akong maadmit, umiiyak ako kasi ayaw ko but this time hindi ako pwedeng pauwiin dahil critical ang condition ko. I lied to my family about it. we were not legal so i lied and lied. i saw my mother crying and i hated myself. i saw my friends cry and i hated myself. i hated myself because i hurt them dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sakanya. i warned him before not to hurt me because hindi ko na kakayanin pa but he chose to break me anyway. naka usap ko ang babae nya. she wanted to hug me and say sorry because of what the both of them did and i despise her. ang kapal ng mukha niyang sabihin ang pangalan ko as if kilala niya ako. i broke down in the hospital when his girl told me everything. na hindi na pala sya masaya sa akin, he shouldve said so. hindi ko naman pipilitin pa. But his reasons were fcked up and pointless. nawalan ako ng malay that afternoon, i cried my heart out, asking myself bakit ako? bakit ako yung ginanito nya? anong kasalanan ko? saan ako nagkamali? bakit ako? the same night i died for some hour. i saw my sleeping body sa hospital bed. I saw the nurses and doctor come in, I wanted to cry kasi nakita ko ang injection,I was injected 10 times pero mas masakit parn yung fact na kahit kailan hindi niya naman ako minahal ng buo and it really hurts, I braced myself for the pain tinurukan ako ng mga gamot, it was supposed to hurt but i didnt feel it. Then I didn’t know what happened next.  I was so happy because finally wala ng masakit. I thought i was dead but morning came and im still alive. i hate him for everything he has done but most of all i hate myself for loving him this much. sinira nya lahat ng pangarap, lahat ng meron ako, sinira niya ako and i loved him. for seven years i loved him with everything i have and am and now di ko na alam anong gagawin sa sarili ko. I feel like dying everyday. its been a week but my body still hasnt recovered. nahihimatay ako ng bigla bigla. hindi padin ako nakakahinga ng maayos. i still ask myself kung bakit ako? bakit ako yung nakita nya? these questions will never be answered. because i have decided to forget him. to forget everything about us kasi sa una pa lang there was never an us. he never really loved me because you dont break the ones you love diba?

 im still healing. im still recovering from everything, physically, mentally and emotionally. If one day we will meet again, i wont stop and say hi. I'll continue walking because by that time i have already forgotten him. i wont let him hurt me again.

 sorry if sobrang haba neto. i wanted to let this out kasi mababaliw na ako because until now it still hurts like hell. Wala na akong matakbuhan, everyone gave up on me. Im all alone now. They wont feel my pain because they wont understand my reasons.I once read this  “there are reasons, love cannot understand and there are love, reasons cannot understand.” i just wanted them to know why i did the things i did, it might be foolish but when i love someone i give it my all and that became my downfall.

 love,

the trophy girlfriend

[firstpumpkin-blog]

Sapientum: On the Road, Over the Hill and Under the Falls

December 12, 2016 - Monday

Meet The Gang

From being plantamates and designing equipment and plant, Sapientum is now on pursuit of a good place to be. We have Philip, our mighty driver who was in charge of keeping us safe and alive. He owns Tanner, a tangerine Vios. (Got a hint why he’s named Tanner?) Raemiel on the front seat was our navigator/living Waze. Among us, he’s the most familiar to the area. And at the back seats were the prettiests, Aura, Erika (yours truly), and Jesserie. I was the snack distributor in chief aka Pandesal Girl. Aura was the “promotor" who napped like a boss. She turned the back seat her personal couch and me & Jesz her pillows. (talented being) Jesserie was our RnD representative who made sure that cameras were always ready for photo op. She is also our natural happy pill. 

We, Philip Raemiel Aura Erika and Jesserie, are Sapientum and this is our first road trip/getaway. 

Let the road trip begin…  

From our good friends’ apartment (big thanks to Miller, Chie and Sarah for accommodating us when in LB), we hit the road at 5:20 am, driving around UPLB first.  

Off we go

Mandatory stopover and photo op

Our morning drive was very cool and serene I can still imagine how the wind felt as it brushed my skin. There weren’t the usual green fields and blue skies because of the gloomy weather but the sight still brought some kind of inner peace. 

Seeing the day break while in transit

We were on a lookout for arcs on the road because passing one means one town farther, a milestone!

I read blogs for directions to Hulugan Falls. So I had ideas of which jeepney to ride, where to take off and what towns we were supposed to pass. But since I barely know the place, I was surprised when I noticed we were driving over a hill overlooking Lake Caliraya.

I must admit then I had uneasiness considering the slippery road, newbie driver, and the unfamiliar place. Also, we almost had the road to ourselves which was both creepy and exciting. But then and there I realized Rule no 1 for road trips. Travel with people you trust.

Rule no. 1. Travel with people you trust.

In that way, you can shake off the worry you may feel about being in a place new to you and appreciate it better. You’ll barely notice the heavy traffic or other delays or conflicts.

First Stop: Japanese Garden

After 1 hour and 40 minutes, we reached Japanese Garden. According to Laguna Travel Guide, it was made to remember the Japanese soldiers who died during World War II.

The main attractions there, for me, are the little toris and the site dedicated to General Yamashita.

When in Japanese Garden, be sure to climb the stairs there for you to see why Luisiana is called the “Little Baguio of Laguna”. It was a good place to emote...

Philip: Nasaan ka na?

Raemiel: Darating ka pa ba?

Aura: Maghihintay ako.

To discover...

Apple Tree

To be free...

And to let lose.

(Mabuting tao po si Philip, palabiro lang)

Aside from the good sight, the garden has approachable staffs and clean rest rooms which were a plus. We left there with happy hearts from the “chill walk” which we didn’t know by then was our warm up for our next destination, Hulugan Falls.

Hulugan Falls 

In search of an affordable destination within Laguna, Kuya Google directed us to blogs about Hulugan Falls by The Lost Kids and The Poor Traveller. It was called “The Hidden Gem in Laguna” and had good reviews so we decided to go there. From the Japanese Garden, it was 1.5 hours away. Bloggers were right when they said that you will not miss the drop off point to the falls. There, we were welcomed by tour guides who were very polite. 

Tarp to travelers: “You won’t get lost. I’m hard to miss.”

We were directed to Kap’s House. We parked Tanner there. Kap and his housewife were also kind and hospitable. They had a little sari-sari store where you can buy snacks or toiletries. But since the place is remote, their goods cost more than they should. They also have 5 shower rooms. Taking a bath cost Php20. BTW, entrance/registration fee is also Php20 as stated in reviews written in September 2015. No price increase. 

Breakfast at Aling Ganda’s Tapsilugan

Aling Ganda’s tapsilog is Php70. It was okay for me. I liked that they served their food in banana leaf atop a native plate. If you’ll eat there, be sure to try their Pansit Habhab. It cost Php60 only and was good for all of us. Aling Ganda also sells souvenir items including shirts and key chains.

We rode a tricycle until where we had to trek. (Fare is Php10 each) And so we reached the trail. Reviews said it was steep, so I expected scary steep. The trail was worse than I expected but doable. After all, we managed to reach the falls and go back alive without major injuries. (Ehem! May nahulog, ayun nasaktan. And so the hugot series begins.)

I categorized the trail into two levels. I call the first as “Maddy Mud” and the second as “on the Rocks” (Akala mo, Rocky Rock?). Maddy Mud lasted for about 10 minutes. We didn’t wear rubber shoes since we were already warned that the trail then was extra muddy due to the bad weather. (Mahirap maglaba ng rubber shoes) We ended up trekking barefooted since it was more slippery wearing flip flops. So if you have one, be sure to use hiking footwear. (Para hindi ka iiwan sa ere o hindi ka ilalaglag).

Feel the earth.

We left our slippers in the first aid station. Kuya Arnel, our tour guide, made each of us a cane out of the fallen branches. They take care of visitors in Hulugan which made the place charismatic, I guess. Lesson in life: Show people you care. Next up: on the rocks where the struggle became real.

Before the reality of what’s coming bites. (Nakakangiti pa)

Station 2: Rest then suffer. 

In level 2, my fear of heights was intensified by my fear of falling. I repeatedly told myself: “Bawal ma-fall, nakamamatay!”. I also thought “Di ko na ‘to uulitin” because it was scary for me. One wrong step, you may slip. You may even hurt those ahead of you on the way down. But then again I was with determined and careful people. They motivated me to carry on. Really, company matters. Very much. We were on the rocks for more or less 25 minutes which was tiresome but hearing the sound of the falls fueled us to go on. It was exciting.

Her majesty - Hulugan Falls of Luisiana, Laguna

Seeing this hidden gem for the first time

Sapientum conquered Hulugan; a happy place to be.

My words may not equal the joy Hulugan gave me that day so I wouldn’t describe it. Just a friendly reminder if you’re planning a visit too, bring waterproof camera. We only managed bringing a waterproof bag and an alay phone. On the way back, we maintained our formation which we found efficient. Kuya Arnel lead. Raemiel followed, then Jesz, Yours truly, Aura then Philip. Squad for keeps.

Rule no 2. Expect all possibilities and conquer.

When on a getaway, especially if adventurous, expect all possible scenarios instead of sticking with what they usually say “Don’t expect, you’ll only get hurt”. In that way, you ready yourself for whatever lies ahead. Will yourself to attain the purpose of the trip. Yes, as carefree as the word road trip may sound, it has one or two. In our case, see the hidden gem in Laguna – Hulugan falls with our own eyes. I’m glad we conquered the trail and sleepiness. (We partied the night before so we barely had a decent sleep) Hadn’t we conquered these, maybe up until now I’m still wondering how the falls looked like. I’ll set up another trip and postpone and get frustrated. So I'm just glad we did it. Achievement.

Caught in the crime of napping | Sapientum made it to Hulugan.

When in Hulugan, don’t miss their special bibingka. It was delicious I forgot to take a picture. It is 3 pieces for Php100 and comes in a small woven basket which makes it a very good pasalubong.

Last stop: Air Summit Gourmet

As soon as we got back to the car, I felt accomplished that day. It was only a little past afternoon. We still had a couple of hours before the day ends and we were up for more drive and spontaneity. We decided to head to Quezon. Raemiel knew of a good place there to eat. Here comes rule no. 3.

Rule No. 3. Go with the flow.

Sometimes, the best attitude is just let things be. Let life’s surprises unfold on their own and make it worthwhile. Do not worry. So long as you’re with trustworthy people, you’re on the right track.

From road trip to air trip. We ate inside an airplane-turned-restaurant. It’s fancy and very #KMJS worthy. What’s even cuter is the staffs acted as if they were flight attendants and we were passengers. We even had plane ticket. The role-play completed the flight experience. Below are pictures of us while we were waiting for our "flight" and a piece of the "terminal".

No comb moment. For some, no shirt moment. | Place for hearts and roses.

33 feet above ground on a business class during a cuddle weather

Cozy

Eating aboard

They served good food at a good cost too. What we had best there was quality conversation which we’d like to keep to ourselves. Indeed, we’d traveled far. But at the end of the day, we came back to the place where it all began - UPLB. And that’s how our trips will be. Always.

It had been a long day. So now signing off, Sapientum. Until our next trip. ;)