#walking on glass

[traumavents]

tw: past bullying, past abuse, mentions of disassociation, descriptions of walking on glass

~~~

I finally told them about everything I went through. I sobbed in his arms about how it was a habit for Them to bully and exclude me.

And he held me in the dark and told me they were sorry and I didn't deserve it.

I've never told anyone the full extent of what I went through. I hardly know myself. I'm sure there's a hundred memories that Jay keeps away and that I disassociated through. I'm sure I can't comprehend the amount of pain Accumulate holds onto.

I don't regret telling him. God, I love him so much it's overflowing.

But ever since I did (and this was only a few days ago), it feels like everything has floated up to the surface. Everywhere I go in my head it feels like I'm walking on glass. I'm in so much mental and emotional pain.

Why does this hurt so much?

~~~

if you could please respond with anything anything positive or validating, that would help so much, thank you.

my question is rhetorical, i just need to say this someplace where no one in my personal life can hear it.

I am so sorry that you are hurting so much. I am so sorry you are in distress. You deserve so much better than this and I hope that one day soon, your heart is less heavy.

It's normal that it's floated to the surface. Admitting what happened is so hard, and I think that it was amazing you took that step. I am so sorry it's left you with so much pain. This will pass. It will pass. You are going to be okay.

[wizardbullshit]

Walking On Glass | Iain Banks In which Graham Park participates in some of the most deliciously cloying, tragic, fucked-all-the-way-up yearning I have ever read in my life. P.S. I'm begging anyone who enjoyed this book or read it at all to talk to me. Or if you want me to convince you to read this, I can do that too.

[traumaoverload]

Red Flag #2

You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You find yourself writing off most of their questionable behavior as accidental or insensitive, because you're in constant competition with others for their attention and praise. They don't seem to care when you leave their side- they can just as easily move on to the next source of energy.

be careful out there in the world. There are some very evil people lurking about. Waiting to get you hooked, only to destroy you through time. And to leave you questioning your self worth, your self esteem, your mental health.

[lockintothevoid]

You fool, you imbecile. I warned you that the Silesian Defence wouldnt work in One-Dimensional chess but you didn't listen.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

getting older can be so amazing? you get more familiar with yourself. learn tips & tricks for troubleshooting your own brain. trial & error helps you build routines that minimize discomfort, maximize reward. your preferences/interests don't get set in stone, but you do find out which ones are going to stay with you in the long-term, and which ones are fun but transient joys to appreciate in the moment.

you learn that the world is so much more complex than you were taught, and that that's okay, and that there's an endless supply of things you can learn or watch or experience or think about if you want to. if you're lucky, you loosen up, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. if you're lucky, you learn to recognize that negative inner voice, and whack it with a baseball bat until it hushes up. if you're lucky, you learn to treat yourself gently, not because you are fragile but because you are worthy of gentleness. (i hope you are lucky.)

and some things will change. some things will get better. some things will get good. and maybe you start to recover from the dehumanizing stress of childhood/education. maybe you learn the power of your own autonomy. maybe you learn how to walk away from bad situations (which is a superpower even if you don't realize it yet). and you get to choose your own clothes. and your own food. and which relationships to pursue! and what you do with your free time. and with your life (but don't worry you get to choose that gradually). and that's crazy! and sometimes scary. and extraordinarily, indescribably precious.

[ardenzia777]

Finished the Stained Glass heart for Odysseus that i'm using for my Love In Paradise Animatic

[jasperyourmutt]

Gotta spell out s-t-r-a-p in front of me or I’ll lose my mind and start barking

[captain-flint]

x

[jurassic-cunt]

will graham doesn't talk about his bisexual awakening cuz it's overshadowed by his murder awakening. he's like yeah dr lecter made me realize i like cock but more importantly that i like to kill

[deep-space-lines]

in case anyone was wondering where I disappeared to for the past few days, i've been going insane again. fun fact staring at stained glass windows for hours on end will not turn you catholic (source: i stared at so many stained glass windows to make this bc i really wanted to go for a realistic church window sort of vibe)

tumblr is a coward and won't let me upload the full size images so you can look at them and zoom in to your heart's content (please look at them. please) [1] [2]

Prints of this are available on my Society6 (both versions cuz I'm indecisive) (it may take a little while for them to actually appear on the site)

Details:

Timelapse under the cut!

my favorite part of this is when I'm trying to get the pose down and I keep flipping the canvas and it looks like they're doing a silly little dance :)

[crimsonclad]

I keep seeing Takes about how recent media like Glass Onion and The Menu aren’t taking “eat the rich” seriously enough to launch real change or revolution and like?? yeah??? popular crowd-pleasing entertainment where horrible rich people Suffer A Comeuppance for the pleasure of an audience is one of the oldest tropes in all of human history???? It is a crowd pleaser! It is the bread (ha) and butter of the Western canon! It is in Chaucer it is in Dante it is in Shakespeare it is the stuff of Dickens and 95% of Agatha Christie and almost every teen movie ever made??????? “look at these horrible rich idiots and hypocrites…and now enjoy their DESTRUCTION” transcends time and space and historical moments! It is so strange to be surprised that Hollywood returns to this well without any intention of seeking anything more transgressive than an audience having a hearty chuckle lmao

[botherbug]

seagull on the roof. source

[royalarchivist]

[After they talk about Pac's debt to the Pancake Mafia, and Pac warns her about Sir Reaper]

Bagi: I think you're the one that needs to be careful, because soon you might lose your other leg.

Pac: N-no! NO! Please don't! Stop- stop! STOP TALKING LIKE YOUR BROTHER!

Bagi: [Laughs]

Pac: I'll pay you– I'm going to pay you!

I want to give a MASSIVE thank you to @wasabi-ribs, who was kind enough to check my translations and help me with the parts I missed (and also reviewed the final subtitled video)!

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]

-

Bagi: Pac, pay the rent!

Pac: I'm going to pay! Hey- I'm going to pay right this second, the money that I owe you, and... and I'm- I'm serious! And look, if you want- if you have more money... If I pay your 4,500, will you lend me 4,500? No, then I'll actually drown in fees. [Laughs]

Bagi: [Laughs] I'll lend you, I'll lend you

Pac: No, not really Bagi. You've got those red eyes– I'm scared, Bagi. I don't know– I don't know what happened, actually it's an eye infection, I know– But something tells me it's not just an eye infection, that it's also some other things, you know? Like, um... y'know, right? [He fumbles again] Oh God wait, your brother– when he had those red eyes he would also turn evil. Nonononono– I'll pay you, ok? Where's the waystone? It's here, it's here, it's here– I'll pay you, ok? I'll pay the 4,500- we're gonna–

Bagi: I'll be waiting.

Pac: No no, oh- just– Just let me walk, my God, I love walking– OH, WALKING IS SO GOOD – [Pac teleports] I'll pay her.

[Bagi follows him moments after]

Pac: [Pac mumbles to himself as he begins transferring money to Bagi] 4,500... I need to pay her 4,500...

Bagi: [Sneaks up on him] Oh, perfect!

Pac: [SCREAMS]

[nothingtoseeherebyeexx]

i had an epiphany. what if hogwarts had a kindergarten/elementary school section? what if they all met when they were like 6 and grew up together? so…

…marauders au where everything is the same, but they’re all toddlers

starting off strong with james potter and his hundreds of glasses

next part!!

(panel by panel under the cut)

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

we say steve will be captivated if eddie ever actually takes care of his curls but what if during the process of Trying To Flirt eddie's like. well. steve's a Hair Guy right. i'll do Hair. and so he gets an actual hair care expert or like a magazine and does his hair as instructed and his curls are no longer a frizzy mess but instead neat, pretty little ringlets

and like. Project Flirt With Steve has been mostly successful so far even if they aren't dating yet, just kind of enjoying the back-and-forth, so he's expecting that when he walks into family video with his new hairdo steve might like. drop tapes or start drooling or something

but instead steve like. barely glances at him. goes back to what he was doing. doesn't even say hi like he usually would. and eddie's like ??? this isn't going as planned. and he goes up to the counter and robin goes oh eddie! new look? and that makes steve take a second glance. and he certainly does drop the tapes he was holding. but only because he's busy half-yelling 'WHAT DID YOU DO' with like a horrified look on his face

recovers enough to like. poke eddie's hair. like who are you and what did you do with my hot grungy metalhead you look like a poodle had sex with a haunted victorian doll. and it ends up with eddie just. laying face down on the floor while steve attacks his head with a brush and a hairdryer bc apparently he's not MEANT to have silky glossy curls.

just the biggest backfire in the history of flirtationships that may have pushed their get-together date back by several weeks