#wait does this mean dazai sees himself as like. akutagawa's (really shitty and lowkey deadbeat) father

[monarchamos]

I was watching cannibalism stageplay and found that it pointed out smth very interesting!!! Atsushi's relationship with his orphanage director/headmaster actually resembles Akutagawa's relationship with Dazai

Both Dazai and the orphanage director/headmaster deeply abused and traumatized their students, but it is revealed that both of them did so in concern for their students' survival.

Dazai treated Akutagawa harshly so he would have the strength to live, and even thrive, in the mafia. The orphanage director/headmaster treated Atsushi harshly so that atsushi could keep living with himself when things eventually came crashing down around him (such as when the tiger went feral).

They are also both revealed to have had a rough—arguably even rougher than their students' in some aspects—life, and as such wanted to protect their students from the same pain and agony... though toughening them up through even more agony, enough so that they could persevere and survive through real awful situations later on

honestly i never even thought about this parallel before the stageplay, so this was super duper cool

(more stuff analysis about dazai under the cut!!!)

what's even more interesting is that dazai seems to acknowledge this parallel, and it's through this that we gain further insight on how he views akutagawa. It's clear that he knows full well that what he had done to akutagawa was unforgiveable, and does not expect forgiveness.

however, it's still evident that dazai cares for Akutagawa (again, still does not at all justify what he did to him, but definitely helps put things in perspective). If he hadn't, why would Dazai have put him through all that training and suffering to toughen him up, when he could have just as easily thrown him to the wolves and left him to die as a meaningless grunt in the mafia?

Dazai saw a young child, only 2 years younger than him, with a similar lack of a will to live in his eyes. He didn't need to take him into the mafia, but he did. he saw that kid with nothing else to keep him pushing through life, and sought to give him a similar home and salvation that the mafia brought him. Perhaps even better, perhaps give him the hope that dazai had wished the mafia have given him (as it is revealed in stormbringer that he had already gotten tired of the mafia after a year despite saying that he might find a reason to live bc of it in 15).

but for akutagawa to be able to find a home in the mafia (which, its clear that he does later on, such as when he was trying to bring kyouka back to the mafia) dazai had to make sure that he could survive through the bad, hence the... well, y'know. we've all memed on that one gif of dazai beating the shit out of aku. i think. i dunno maybe im just fucked up.

dazai isnt a dick to akutagawa bc he was an edgy teenager or just for shits and giggles. and he didn't push akutagawa to the fullest because he didn't comprehend how strong he actually was, pushing on a notion of weakness onto him.

dazai knows that akutagawa is strong. we know he knows. Hell, Chuuya (and atsushi too but idk if im remembering the guild aftermath scene right) knows.

So did Dazai's method of putting aku through hell to make him develop a "loathesome anger to help him survive" work? yeah. does it resemble what atsushi went through at the hands of his orphanage director/headmaster? yeah.

however, the similarities in their way of teaching doesn't end there. Dazai's method of training akutagawa resulted in an extremely low self-esteem, the kind that depends on another's approval. While atsushi doesn't necessarily depend on the approval of others, he does have a very low self esteem and rather depends on helping others to prove that he's worthy of living.

This unfortunate side effect of Dazai's and the orphanage director/headmaster's teaching method is likely unintentional, as both probably only focused on the intended outcome of strengthening akutagawa/atsushi.

so anyway idk how to end this so yeah. tldr cannibalism stageplay pointed out the parallel between atsushi's relationship with his orphanage director/headmaster vs akutagawa's relationship with dazai. as such, it helps give really interesting insight on why dazai treated aku that way.