Vessel and the New Lore
So the new messages got me thinking and connecting dots. I don't know coherent this will sound, but I think there's something here? Anyways. Something about the relationship Vessel has with himself vs. The Mask.
I thought it'd be interesting to link the parallels between the Room Bellow show and the Fall For Me video messages, with the new ones and the album. Long post ahead so I'll put a cut somewhere.
(This is the second time I'll be writing this cus tumblr decided to be a hoe and deleted my entire draft so if it seems weird, you know. Pro tip: never use the app for long posts.)
Disclaimer: I'm in no way endorsing or encouraging any type of discourse about Vessel's irl identity and/or other [Redacted] and such. Unfortunately I do know things, but not everyone does. Respect the band; don't spoil it for others. If you know, keep it to yourself.
So, starting with the first message:
Mask: Why am I here? What is my purpose in all of this?
Vessel: Your purpose is twofold. You protect me, from them, and you also protect them from me.
Mask: How is it that I serve to protect anyone from anything, that makes no sense.
Vessel: In order for all of this to work there has to be a certain boundary in place. They need to be able to project themselves onto this, without anyone else's identity getting in the way. In turn, I need to be able to show my true self to them in a way that does not compromise their ability to connect.
Mask: So that's what I am? A boundary?
Vessel: Yes.
We have here a confirmation of what he has told us many times before, either indirectly or not. The Mask/the Vessel persona serves as a way for him to connect and engage with us, while keeping both parties safe. We get to project onto and take from him some sort of comfort and catharsis, without any external factors to influence and skew the way we interpret his music, and He gets to expose and deal with his pain and negative thoughts in a protected environment. Who he is is irrelevant, we're merely here to share and understand each other.
Through the anonymity the mask offers, he is free to be as vulnerable and open with us as he wants, while keeping his identity safely stored away. The Mask serves as the physical reminder of how much we are allowed to know about him, and in return, how far he can (or should) expose himself without compromising his true identity. By living as Vessel and forgetting himself, he is ironically free to bare his most fragile and imperfect parts of himself on display (much like how we're all infinitely more honest about our struggles behind a fake online name than in irl.)
(curiously, this seems to be a contradiction to Higher's second verse, which feeds into the idea that Sleep is not the protector Vessel sometimes claims Them to be - "With all that you believe / You still refuse to shelter me")
From the Room Bellow:
"I experienced a great deal of pain in my life, however I do not believe I have suffered as you have suffered. Perhaps that Is another reason why we are here.
At the very least, we have all suffered."
Lore wise, we are told time and time again that Vessel is a "sacred guardian", a messenger, a weapon, a tool - a physical vessel - for Sleep and Their message. He is the answer to Sleep's necessity for connection with us. And for that to work, he willingly gives up his identity for Sleep. For us.
Mask: I don't believe you. I believe there is more to it than that. I believe you are afraid of something.
Vessel: We are all afraid of something, are we not?
Mask: What is it you are so afraid they will see?
Vessel: That I am exactly like everyone else.
...
Vessel: I think I am afraid of becoming you.
Mask: What does that even mean?
Vessel: My life is becoming gradually consumed by you. Before long, all that I am will be contained within you. Then, one day, when I no longer wish to wear you, there will be nothing else left.
"I am afraid, are you afraid? I want to understand what it is to let go." (Fall For Me)
At the end of the day, Vessel is just some guy - he fears, and aches, and bleeds the same as us. We're equals. But as Vessel, he can't allow himself to crack, to break the illusion. As Vessel (and to connect to the lore, as the vessel of a god), he poses as someone we can look up to, someone who's there to carry our pain for us, almost like a symbiotic relationship of sorts - we feed on each other's emotions and energies.
From the Room Bellow:
"To love oneself is not the easy task we are sometimes told it is. (...) My own path towards greater self acceptance is paved with the art that I create. It is a path I continue to stumble down at the expense of everything else."
Without getting too much into it, it seems Vessel/Sleep Token were created as a sort of coping mechanism to deal with whatever it is that He went through. And he seems to have achieved that - he escaped his former self and became "Vessel", someone who's allowed to cry and rage and let his feeling loose. Someone who receives praise and comfort for it, someone who is finally understood.
Except that somehow, that same safety the Mask offered him backfired. Because how can you tell what's you and what's not? It appears that the lines between Vessel vs. Him have blurred beyond recognition. Because "Nothing lasts forever", so once ST ends, and Vessel is no longer a necessity, who does he become? Can he go back to his old self? Is there even a self to go back to?
Do you ever believe that we can turn into different people?
It's getting harder to be myself.
Do you wish that you loved me?
Could we ever release? Is it better to just not feel?
I think it's worth mentioning DYWTYLM. Usually when I listen to it, I just interpret as being about self-love/esteem, suicidal thoughts, insecurities, yada yada yada, BUT! I think it kinda fits this right?? Like a conversation between Vessel and Him, the guy behind the mask.
And really, if you think about it, I think this dialogue is the basis of what TMBTE is. It's Vessel facing all these different facets of himself, the past versions, the ugly sides, coming to terms with them and learning to move on. And in the end, we see he finally does realize, albeit somewhat reluctantly, that there is more to it, than he can "be someone new", even if it means he needs to shed and let go of past versions of himself.
(of course, this is putting aside the whole trilogy and the story we've been told about Sleep/Vessel/Whatever romantic entanglement he was involved in. i'm merely giving this some other meaning and choosing to look through a very specific lens. call it a parallel universe if you want)
It's him accepting that although there may not be a version of himself to come back to, his Eden so to speak, there is finally something more waiting for him. But I'll get more into it later.
Also worth mentioning, this part of conversation-
Mask : Do you think they want you to cry? Do you think they like it?
Vessel : Not as such, I think they just want to know that I am feeling something, feeling what they are feeling, perhaps.
Mask : Do you think that this amount of crying is healthy for you?
Vessel: I don't know. But at least I feel something, if I don't feel anything than why would I even do this?
-seems to be directly co-related to those lines on DYWTYLM. He wonders if maybe would be better not to feel at all, as if really asking himself, "should I continue to live as Vessel?", because that is his/The Mask's function.
(I almost forgot to mention the "Smile back at me" / "I can only ever see them smiling. That's good, I want them to smile." co-relations, but you see where I'm going right?")
Mask: It seems you have forgotten who you are. Before you had me you were nothing. All of this artifice, all this pathetic conjecture about your identity, it is nothing but a manifestation of how short-sighted and solipsistic you have become. I lifted you from misery and obscurity. You would be better to become me. You are nothing without me. You always were nothing without me.
"I am nothing without this music. I am nothing without this mask." (Room Bellow)
Sleep is a dickhead. And there it is - another confirmation of what we all assumed, of what he has also told us many times before in different words. Vessel, or better yet, Him, struggles with imposter syndrome, and a part of him seems to believe his worth is exclusively tied to his ability to create music and perform. Because who matters is Vessel, not Him. The praise and adoration, the glory, belongs to solely Vessel (in-lore, to Sleep).
He does not matter. He is insignificant. He is nothing.
So it makes sense to see how much he wishes to be someone else. How dependent he on his Mask (on Sleep). He can't shed that new identity away, because somehow, it became is ONLY identity. And yet, he knows that one day that must happen. And from a creative/artist standpoint, when you expose yourself the way he does into your art, almost bleeding into it, if that outlet is taken away, you really are left with nothing.
(yall, read the poem "about the PEN conference" by Bukowski).
"The truth is, I am ugly, I am inadequate, I am lost. I am no God." (Fall For Me)
And can I just say, how incredibly heartbreaking it is to hear him talk about himself like that? I have so, so much love and respect for Ves, it's almost ridiculous to think he is only worth the weight of his mask. I would give him a million hugs if I could. Whether or not he still believes that, I hope he one day can look at himself the way we do, and be proud and happy of the amazing human that he is.
I also think that, and this is just me rambling, their sudden explosion to fame must've taken some sort of toll of sorts. It must be SUCH an amazing feeling to see this many people connect and dedicate themselves to something you created, to be able to read between the lines of you thoughts, but it must just equally as scary. Suddenly there's SO many eyes on you, demanding and picking apart every gesture. Viciously clawing at the mask for a glimpse of the fragile soul within. It must not be easy to cope - and this goes to everyone in Sleep Token. They have to deal with so much unfairness, it's disgusting.
Vessel: You. Are. Wrong. In the end, my fractured sense of self was only another piece of fuel for the fire that burns in the eyes of these people before us. They too are pained. They too not know who they truly are. They are each stood alone on a stage of their own. And yet, they are here. United by that sense of never truly belonging. They see something beyond their own bleak horizons. And they reach for it. Together. So let us join now. To reflect their joy and to serve as a conduit for their anguish. To swallow their fear. To Worship.
"So for now let me serve as a living drama of your pain. If we are to be submerged then let us be submerged together." (Fall For Me)
And this is the part that really breaks me. He knows how much we need this, how much we rely on his music, on his words. He fights against his own claims that he has no value - he serves a purpose and that purpose is to serve the audience. Us. To take our struggles, our desires, and make it his own. To basically serve as a sacrifice for our well-being. To suffer, to feel together. To serve as a living drama of OUR pain.
"I will smile through the agony for you".
Because in the end, we're all equally broken. Because that's what the Mask is for, the anonymity, the mystery, the band - for us to "project ourselves" onto him, onto them. They are vessels, servants, worshippers of a god who shelters them; much like how we interact with their music, much like how Vessel thinks his purpose is for.
(and I could expand on this weird worshipper vs worshipee cycle, but i'm tired and i can't ramble on for too long. someone more clever than me feel free to expand)
(a post edit: peep that "fire that burns in the eyes of these people before us" vs "those eyes like fire, I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre" parallel. Vessel sacrificing himself to us, for us. Performing and being Vessel as something he cannot but feel compelled to do.)
From the Room Bellow:
"We are here to silently collect. To project ourselves onto one-another. We are here to remember. We are here to forget."
WHICH BRINGS US TO EUCLID.
No, by now
The night belongs to you
This bough has broken through
I must be someone new
If we are to take the messages as a complement to the album, then this definitely marks the "shift" in Vessel's perspective. He CAN be more, and he NEEDS to be more. To be new.
The night does not belong to god - it belongs to US. To Him. Not just Vessel, but Him. Obviously this is all speculation, but it really feels like he's ready to let go of so many things, and move on. To renew himself, to stand up and fight. To finally "bite back". He doesn't seem to be completely changed, as there are things he still seems to hold on to (just listen to Euclid). But it´s different now. The "vicious cycle is over."
"They see something beyond their own bleak horizons. And they reach for it. Together. So let us join now."
Vessel seems to emphasize the "collectiveness" of what Sleep Token is and represents quite often. So in a way, it´s him saying "We´ve all suffered together, we've all experienced so many things together, so let us reach for something better as one. Let us all become new. You are not alone in this, and neither am I, so hold on to us and be happy."
WHICH IS!!!!! JUST!!!!!
I think this shift represents something important. My guess, like many others have said, is that Something Big is going to happen in/after Wembley. I don't know what, I don't know if it's truly the end of the road for ST, as many speculate, but something is definitely going to happen. Whatever it is, I hope this is a positive change for them, and specially Vessel, and I am just so so grateful to be part of this amazing community of ours.
(if you read the whole thing, I love you and thank you and I'm sorry. My brain was itching real bad and this had to be let out. Don't take this a proper analysis or whatever, this is me squeezing excess water off the old rag that is my mind)
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when I was making that edit, the part about self love
"To love one's self is not the easy task we are sometimes told it is. We are all limited by something. We are all guilty of something."
hits just as hard as it did the first time, but when I first heard/read Vessel's message, it had irreplaceable effect on my perspective (he is so honest in this message, good lord).
Either way, for me back then, he changed the usual narrative about selflove that you see a lot—to just love yourself and how to do it—which often requires you to ignore the negative feelings (don't do that, kids). For me, selflove was always something that I picked up and put effort into and then it always failed anyway. Because it was hard.
It had a deep impact on my understanding of it, to hear Vessel acknowledge that it's difficult to love and care for someone that you are angry at, for someone you blame, someone that you find responsible for the bad turn of events. We are all limited by something. And yes some guilt can be cured by "if you wouldn't blame others for the same thing, be fair and don't blame yourself either" but sometimes we did terrible things we would blame others for, and would find hard to forgive.
For him to say that openly, we are all guilty of something, was a turning point for me, back then in august of last year. Mind that I was already in therapy for months at this time, but because I wasn't exactly open (just ask my friends how it takes 3-4 years for me to open up and there is still no one who knows everything about me), most effort just bounced off me.
The music first started it all, because it is so hard not to dive into your feelings, and I was facing a lot of surpressed emotions. But then his message opened a closed little door where I was hiding that I don't love myself because I am guilty of things that are very difficult to forgive.
Since then, in autumn of last year especially, I sure did go through the hurricane of "it has to get worse before it gets better" phase because facing everything as it truly happened was damn hard and sometimes I cried for days and didn't sleep for multiple nights. But now I did come out on the other side, much lighter (this bough has broken through, I must be someone knew hehe), and with a lot of work ahead but now I do know that my worst versions deserve respect and dignity and I will grant them forgiveness one day.
So no, Vessel didn't save me, or anyone, but he was the catalyst in my healing, the one who changed my direction from running in circles for years, to a very painful path that led me where I am now, which is not a good place but a better one.
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