#unremembered nightmares | joshua headcanons

[ritualwritten]

NAME :  Joshua Gillespie

RESIDENCE :  flat in London

NUMBER OF BLANKETS :  Before the Coffin, two to three, depending on the temperature.  After the Coffin, he found it more comfortable to sleep with just one to two.

NUMBER OF PILLOWS :  Two.

TYPE OF CLOTHING :   No shirt, just boxers no matter the temperature.

DO THEY SLEEP WITH COMPANY?   Sometimes.  He dates and has casual relationships so sometimes those guys stay over.  Sometimes they don’t.  He also doesn’t mind sharing a bed with close friends since he doesn’t have the space for a guest room.  Briar and him will always share the bed when she’s over, for example. 

DO THEY SLEEP BETTER WITH COMPANY?   Depends.  Sleeping with Briar tends to be an oxymoron more often than not; it becoming more like a middle school sleepover where no one actually gets any sleep than anything else.  Joshua has no illusions about how, despite all the cliches otherwise, sleeping with another human being can be... difficult. 

DOES IT MATTER WHERE THEY SLEEP?   Yes.  While he has passed out on many a surface, as he got older he much prefers an actual bed.  He’s still prone to the unwise decisions what lead him to waking up in a bathtub, but his back and neck are more loud about their protests than when he was 20.  He’ll take the couch without too much fuss, though, if necessary.

WHAT DO THEY DO IF THEY CANNOT FALL ASLEEP?   Read, listen to music.  He might make some warm milk or tea. 

FREQUENT DREAMS, NIGHTMARES :   Doesn’t have many reoccurring dreams.  He does have reoccurring nightmares after the Coffin, though he never remembers the contents with any clarity.  He usually just wakes up gasping for air, hands at his throat and soaked in sweat.  It’s more frequent when it rains and he’s also more likely to sleepwalk when it rains. 

DEEP SLUMBER OR NAPS :  Tends to sleep like the dead once he’s out - barring nightmares or sleepwalking episodes.  Naps usually make him feel worse and more groggy so he’d rather just slam his body with caffeine in the moment and then conk out at bedtime.

WHEN DO THEY SLEEP :   Usually goes to bed 10-11PM on workdays to be ready for work at 7AM.  Weekends are an absolute crapshoot; he may stick to the schedule, may stay up late doing shit on his own, may go out and party.

WHAT COULD WAKE THEM UP :   Outside of the obvious (nightmares, alarms, someone trying to wake him), the cold.  He’s particularly sensitive after the Coffin, having drilled in that the cold means he’s gotta wake up.

stolen from: @tempist tagging: take it from me! ^^

[acemenagerie-a]

(( also just thinking abt how much i love joshua

so many braincells, but will also make terrible decisions and go ‘that’s future joshua’s problem, not mine’ ))

[acemenagerie-a]

a more human version of that question for either joshua or robin

Robin!!!  Is so touchy-feely!!  They love cuddles, holding people, being held, loves it!  They are, however, very fidgety so cuddling with them is an exercise of changing positions every few minutes.  Likewise, Robin will play with the other person’s hair, hands, clothes, jewelry, anything loose enough to mess with.  They’ll stop if told to and apologize, switching their attention/energy to something else. 

Robin loves painting nails and will give other people manicures or pedicures if they want.  They’re skilled enough to do so while still curled up beside the other person - having done their own nails in some wild positions in the past. 

They’re very chatty and love infodumping about their interests but also very keen to turn things around and listen to the other person ramble.  A silent cuddle session is not a cuddle session for them, it makes them nervous.  They’re the type to keep mumbling until their brain goes ‘lights out’

Honestly, cuddle Robin.  Robin is so full of love and is cuddle shaped.  Let this funky artist into your life.

Joshua may be short, but he is dense and always wants to be the one holding the other person.  He will jetpack it and love it.  He’s not super sure why that’s his preference, but it is and usually partners don’t mind.  His build is solid and stable, making it a grounding cuddle session.

Unlike Robin, Joshua is more down for a quiet cuddle, just enjoying another’s warmth and the sound of their breath/heartbeat.  He’s not adverse to showing friends physical affection, but tends toward cuddling more with sexual/romantic interests. 

If he’s particularly smitten, he’ll nuzzle the other guy with his beard like a cat. 

[acemenagerie-a]

(( i realized that, while i am hot garbage at imagining measurements, i did have a vague idea of t.ma muse heights relative to one another and - since salesa is canonically 6′7 - i could extrapolate heights out from there.  so there’s a fuckin #lifehack for y’all hdgfjdhsfhjgsdjhfgdsf

joshua is the only one shorter than me sjhdfghjdsgjfhgsdjfg

Distortion is not here because it can be whatever height it wants, whenever it wants.  It tends to shift to be taller than whoever it is talking to because that is usually more intimidating.  However, sometimes it likes to change heights when someone looks away - growing either taller or shorter -  so that the person looks in the wrong spot when they turn back around.  I think Helen did that more than Michael.  In life, Michael was taller than Helen. ))

[acemenagerie-a]

what is one compliment your muse is dying to hear? [ elias & josh ]

Love Languages || ACCEPTING

Elias - “I’m proud of you.”

It isn’t a compliment in the traditional sense, but it’s a sentiment he’s been chasing a long, long time.  Past all the layers, he’s actually a perfectionist at his core.  He just self-sabotages so that no one has any expectations of him, because then his failures hurt less.  If Elias the Stoned Filing Clerk doesn’t do his reports, everyone kind of sighs and grumbles but their opinion of him doesn’t change.  When Elias the Straight-A Student slipped on a test, he was either mocked or had adults telling him they expected more from him.

Which does make complimenting Elias... tricky.  Even this one, which he does want to hear with all his heart and soul, would also make him spiral.  Anyone seeing anything even remotely good in him means that he can fail.  He can let them down.  And he’s terrified of that.

Joshua - “Oh that’s a cool tattoo!” [Referring to the blueprint style tattoo on his shoulder ]

He just likes people complimenting that tattoo in particularly since he meticulously designed it himself to honor his first architect gig.  Unfortunately, the Coffin™ prevented him from getting it for his actual first gig and he got it upon moving to London.  Still, it is a nice commemoration and he likes when people appreciate it!

[acemenagerie-a]

13, 22, 25 for joshua?

peek inside... || ACCEPTING

13.     to do list.

- email back barnes about the permit issues - email to see if shaw’s willing to budge on the glass walls - refine the blueprint for library renovations - see if briar wants to hang out this weekend - yes meet at her’s by 7pm sat. - pick up snacks and drinks by sat.

22.     amazon shopping cart.

- detergent - dish soap - jeans

Joshua doesn’t shop on Amazon a lot.  Soap is usually cheaper in bigger packages online, though, and it has been the only place he’s been able to consistently find jeans his size.  He’s short but stocky so his measurements usually aren’t in stores.

25.     five most recent in google search history.

oldest 1 - how long do hard boiled eggs keep 2 - takeaway nearby 3 - monty hall problem 4 - tattoo parlors nearby 5 - kool-aid man newest

1 & 2 are surprisingly unrelated.  3-5 are a case study in why you do not make bets with statisticians about statistics problems.  Joshua may or may not now have the Kool-Aid man tattooed somewhere on his body.

[acemenagerie-a]

(( i feel like joshua is the type of person everyone expects to be responsible

like there’s a party & someone who just knows joshua from work or something is like ‘oh yeah, no joshua seems like he’d be chill and not get up to shenanigans - probably just keep to himself’

except then he like reenacts m.ulaney’s ‘whiskey or perfume’ bit only joshua is both the person asking ‘is this whiskey or perfume’ and also the person who chugs the whole thing before going ‘it’s perfume’

would probably do that while still entirely sober

and like honestly, he can be super responsible and sharp and good at finding solutions to some buckwild problems.  but to have that skill, it’s like he has to ration his braincells. just ‘i already spent my braincells on that super intense design project so yes my friend who is not trained busting out a random needle and piercing my ears right now while we’re both at least a little intoxicated sounds like a great idea. i do miss having my ears pierced sometimes’ ))

[acemenagerie-a]

which hot monster are you going to hook up with tonight?

stolen from:  @beheldeyes tagging:  u if you want!! ( the quiz is... steamy tho obv so skip if that makes u uncomfortable ^^ )

ELIAS -  minotaur or centaur

you like himbos (or thembos, or herbos) but not only the average human himbo. himbos who are noble, with a knightly purpose, or with a hefty...heart. here, sir. let me hold thine hibbies (horse tibbies)

JOSHUA -  dullahan

you like a gentleman. someone who can treat you well, but also someone who can narrow their eyes and make you weak at the knees. this one just doesn't have eyes, so the poise and confidence of it all will have to do. have fun watching them slice people's heads off with those deft hands, grip the reigns of the horse, and take you for a gallop.

[acemenagerie-a]

type-3blade replied to your post “(( thinkin abt…. joshua ))”

two whole years as the only person living in an apartment complex

i don’t know if i’m awestruck or jealous

(( the fact he didnt even know bc he thought the moaning was coming from one of the other flats at first dhfgdshjgfjhsdgf and like he also never mentions that; he says he doesn’t have friends but it’s only tim’s research that reveals he was completely alone in the building the entire time 

he had an entire apartment complex to himself for two whole years and absolutely did not seem to notice ))

[acemenagerie-a]

(( sdhfghjsdgfjhgsfh do u think that architecture students in the t.ma universe sometimes just ‘ugh, i gotta swing by the magnus institute to get a book for this paper :/’

and their friend is just ‘... what class are u taking that u’d need to go there for a source?’

‘im writing my essay abt smirke and, yeah, maybe he was an occultist or someshit - his name is a lot of spooky places - but like what i dont understand is why this book that seems exclusively abt his number 14 k.ink or w/e the fuck has to be in that institute’

‘maybe 14 is a spooky number?’

‘EVERY NUMBER CAN BE A SPOOKY NUMBER’

plot twist: joshua’s first time in the institute was to get a source for an ill-conceived paper.  he chose not to think too hard abt what a perfectly normal book solely abt architecture was doing in a library of the esoteric ))

[acemenagerie-a]

(( once more i am having a time so it is Shitpost Hours™ ))

[acemenagerie-a]

@praemetuere​ asked:  🚶‍♂️ for like any random two muses

---

Muse NPCs || ACCEPTING

picrew credit: { x }

(( Dr. Cassandra Bouchard was Elias’s mother.  She was a severe, exacting woman, with a no-nonsense attitude.  While she tried to be supportive, her husband had been much more the emotional type and she always found herself honing in on measurable achievement.  Likewise, she was of the mind that one must forcibly kick the baby bird out of the nest to get them to fly, leading her to kick Elias out immediately upon his graduation from university.  Elias thinks that if he had done better in school, she would’ve been more forgiving; it’s hard to consider hypotheticals but, honestly, probably not.

She was a psychiatrist focusing solely on medication management.  She used to also provide psychotherapy to patients, but stopped not long after her husband’s death.  She had also aided in research in the broad field of neuropsychopharmacology and greatly preferred research to working with patients.  Even so, the idea of having to teach if she chose to dedicate herself to research within a university sat even worse with her than working with patients, so she never fully committed.  

As mentioned before, she had negative amounts of respect for the Magnus Institute, thinking of it as a fraud of a research institution, at best, or a cult, at worst, believing the “paranormal and esoteric” to be fake and a waste of time.  She was more than a little ashamed when Elias became a filing clerk for them - a feeling only heightened by how proud he acted about getting the position.  Even if a filing clerk is a perfectly respectable position normally, the fact he was with that absolute sham of an institute upset her greatly. ))

picrew credit: { x }

(( Briar Wilson is Joshua’s friend who offered to pay for his first tattoo if she got to pick it and left him with Nerds mascots on his asscheek.  Do not accept any of her ‘deals’ they will always go this poorly.  She’s not outright malicious but also physically cannot resist chaos or mischief.  Joshua has flat out decided it is not worth spending the braincells to resist her antics and will always, without fail, take her up on one of her ‘deals.’

Her family has a decent amount of wealth that she was very used to enjoying and exploiting, but in recent years is able to stand on her own merits.  She’s a statistician and highly enjoys the work.  To keep things fresh, she works as a consultant so she has many different types of projects.

She adores the horror genre and was definitely the kid at the sleepover who would suggest creepy games to play or tell some spooky story to keep everyone awake. ))

[acemenagerie-a]

(( in case u wanted to know my t.ma muses’ feelings on stabbing

don’t let harriet fool u btw. she will not stab u, but she will throw u out of an airplane into an endless blue sky so.... u’d probably prefer to be stabbed ))

[acemenagerie-a]

(( me: haha wouldnt it be funny if i added joshua and/or robin just bc i talked abt them in one post at midnight?? fuckin hilarious but like jk definitely jk lmao

me, 8 hours later having not slept at all: HAHA UNLESS...? ))

[acemenagerie-a]

(( we’re getting a nice rain so now im thinking abt joshua and rain dfhjdshjfgsdhjf

it’s funny because i do imagine that he did used to like rain both in the calm, white noise, aesthetic sense and in the ‘having fun fucking around in it what do you mean we’ll catch cold’ sense

but, obviously, having a coffin that moans when it rains changes that

i think, even two decades later, there is still residual unease around rain - maybe the nightmares flare up just that bit worse during storms for that reinforcement of fear - but like he also never quite shook the habit of putting in headphones when the sky got overcast and getting ready to do something, like read, for a long time

so the two decades of habit weirdly makes it so rainstorms also kind of switch his brain into ‘do stuff’ mode

so it’s just ‘well, im gonna wake up in the middle of the night maybe unable to breathe, maybe standing in my living room who knows, but i think im gonna finally finish american gods so... decent deal i suppose.  just need to remember to brew the coffee a little strong and wind down early tomorrow’ ))

[acemenagerie-a]

which entity in the magnus archives would you be an avatar of?

tagged by: lifted from @praemetuere tagging: have fun!!

Elias -  THE LONELY 

you didn’t have many (if any) friends in school, and it’s shaped who you are. maybe you tried for years to make yourself likable so that people would give you the connection you crave, or maybe you’ve resigned yourself to being a loner all along, but either way here you are. socializing puts you on edge more often than not, and you prefer to keep a small circle of friends. the lonely either calls to you in a strange way or absolutely terrifies you, and martin’s arc in season 4 probably reminded you too much of middle/high school. you should remember that your social life not fitting the image of “normal” doesn’t mean you’re unlikable or a failure. you still haven’t met all the people who will love you.

Georgie -  THE END 

you good? everything okay at home? really though, you think a lot about what happens after death - maybe you really liked mythology as a kid. you have a pretty fatalistic way of thinking, and you probably really related to oliver banks in his second statement. the end is something that scares you, but also something you’ve made your peace with. this is either something you’ve resigned yourself to, or a facade to cover up how afraid you really are. you should remember that the existence of death doesn’t mean that life has no meaning. what you do will always matter.

Joshua -  THE DARK 

the ordeal of being known really is mortifying, huh? you’d love it if everyone could just collectively stop perceiving you. but really, sometimes existing as a person really starts weighing on you. you prefer to distract yourself with other things, but when you’re alone with your thoughts you drift towards curiosity about the unknown. something about the dark is compelling to you - maybe it was the way manuela dominguez described it, or maybe it’s a strange sort of comfort you find in the void, but you’re drawn to it. you should remember that ignorance isn’t always bliss. let yourself be known.

Robin -  THE SPIRAL 

you’re never boring. you often jump between interests and favorites, either out of boredom or excitement over new things. your mind is very loud - being alone with your thoughts never really feels like being alone. at the same time, you have trouble grounding yourself to reality. sometimes it’s fun to be spontaneous and eccentric, but sometimes you look in the mirror and don’t know what you see. the thing that draws you to the spiral is the comfort of not knowing. michael or helen is probably your favorite character, and you’d most likely become an avatar of the spiral just because it sounds sick as hell. you should remember that you don’t have to be afraid of being a person. you’re the only you you’ve got.

Pip -  THE VAST 

you were absolutely one of those kids who was very into either deep space or deep sea. hell, maybe you still are. you embrace the idea that you’re relatively small or unimportant compared to the universe at large, and find comfort in that meaning your mistakes aren’t so all-consuming. you’re impulsive at best and full-on reckless at worst - the idea of adrenaline junkie activities like cliff-diving or bungee jumping probably sound really fun to you! the vast sounds kind of beautiful to you, whether it’s the vastness of the sky, space, or sea. you want to live life to the fullest, either because you’re of the mindset that “fuck it, i’m a speck on humanity’s timeline so i’ll do whatever” or because you want to leave as big of a mark on the world as you can. you should remember that you mean something no matter what. you are part of the universe you revere.