#unless that breakfast is. a single fried egg

[alternative-snake]

the only thing stopping me from getting up and making garlic bread right now is the fact that its 6 am like if time didnt FUCKING betray me like this i would be looking for a good recipe right now

[forsworned]

JINX! YOU OWE ME A SODA! ft. KYLE 'GAZ' GARRICK

Author's note: Because Kyle does not get enough love and I really wanted to write for him and the little interactions between the 141 :)

Tags: Sexual Content, Masturbation, AFAB!Reader, Brainrot convos amongst 141 men, Team Building and Banter w/141

It's breakfast time in the mess hall and Kyle is navigating to the usual spot that the 141 hangs out in. Clandestine, blue rusty bench right against the large panel windows, with a clear view of the crisp evergreens and wildflowers stretching out in the horizon. A peaceful outlook for a proper meal and some banter.

"Brekkie for a champ." Johnny winks up at him, noshing on his breakfast burrito.

Kyle chuckles as he takes his assigned-unassigned seat next to the friendly Scotsman and they start chatting about last night's fútbol game. It is followed by Simon sliding his tray, seating himself opposite Johnny with a quiet clatter as he attempts to slip his large body onto the bench. And then it's Price coming from behind him, jostling the skull-masked behemoth to scare him, but it's lost on Simon because he's just giving him an uninterested stare that causes the table to shake with laughter.

And you? You're sitting there from the outside, munching on your home fries with a pang of envy at their camaraderie. Never really having a taste of it as you sit alone most days unless you're on the go, rushing to a mission and you're sharing a ration bar with whatever squad they stick you in. But let's face it, no one really wants to be around you.

Jinx.

That was your nickname. Luckless, star-crossed with death, always skulking closely in your shadow.

Your reputation presided over you. Seven squads KIA, and you were the only one to survive them every single time.

So, it's no wonder you're a lone wolf in a mess hall full of lively, rowdy soldiers.

"Why don't we sit here?" A new recruit inquires to their Sergeant.

Their superior takes one glance at you before giving you a tight-lipped smile, "Actually, I just remembered Corporal Dunn (s/o to my mans) needs us back in his office, so let's just have lunch there, yeah?"

The rookie's wide, naive eyes peer over at you and they wordlessly nod at their CO and you don't even bother to see if they've glanced over their shoulders, whispering to one another about you.

"...seven...?!"

"Keep your voice down, soldier..."

"...sorry."

But somebody seems to have their sights set on you and your sharp, feline-like eyes are on the Sergeant tables away, tucked away into a corner and he can't help but jump a little as he's downing his morning brew.

And suddenly he's snorting it up and his teammates are throwing jests his way.

"Keep y'er coffee in y'er mouth, dammit!" Johnny bellows as he erupts into laughter, patting his back.

And there's something inaudible said by Kyle and you're studying the way his pretty, plump lips move.

"'s that Sergeant over there."

And suddenly four Brits are shamelessly turning your way and you're not tearing your gaze away from them as you're scoffing down your scrambled eggs.

"Heard she's lost seven squads, only one to make it out alive." Simon speaks in a nonchalant tone, popping a piece of celery into his mouth before his face contorts into something that resembles disgust.

A "Bloody hell, that's disgusting." is drowned out by the continued conversation between the three of them about your unfortunate rep.

"'s not the lass's fault." Price adds, leaning back a little to crack his spine. "Oh, yeah, tha's the stuff." A satisfied groan leaves his lips as he rests his elbows on the table, listening in on the little shred of gossip.

This time, it's between Johnny and Simon as Kyle zones them out and his honey eyes are training back on you. A frisson runs up his spinal column when he realizes your gaze never strayed. Like a cat, you're fixating on him, wagging your tail, not yet ready to strike just simply observing with a piquing interest.

And then the subject changes when Simon decides to make a jab at how Johnny's overgrown mohawk resembles a porcupine and he's chuckling to himself as the Scot gets riled up. Kyle thinks that one last glance won't hurt, but you're gone. Not even a trace of maybe some crumbs left from your English muffin. He's intrigued to say the least.

Kyle is spending his days in search of you. You're like an apparition that only gets spotted on odd days of the week at unsuspecting time frames, nestled snugly into unfrequented areas on base. He's trying hard to remember the way your hair looks, your lips, the curve of your nose but all that's burned into his memory is your pointed gaze burring holes into his vision.

He stays up late when he catches a glimpse of you in the armory as he's passing by it, in deep conversation with his Captain about how Koala bears do indeed have chlamydia. And he's backstepping to gaze through the window, but you're gone and he's starting to think that maybe you are a ghost.

How stealthy and lithe your body must have to be under that black, compression tee and those tight, tight tactical pants...

And he's fisting away at his dick, half frustrated and half aroused by the allure of your mystique. Little black cat, thumping her tail against the concrete with enigmatic, hypnotizing eyes that entrance him.

"Fuck!" And he's spilling all over his sheets, taut, heaving abdomen, and humiliatingly enough, right on his chin. He dabs at the cum that's dripping on his face and then gazes over the opulent arousal, before throwing his head back and groaning.

Why was you being such a quandary turning him into a fucking pillock?

"...Kyle...Kyle!" Price's hasty voice rips into his stupor, slinging him back into reality.

"Goddammit, Kyle, ya missed th' shot..." Price clicks his tongue, shaking his head under his gilly suit as he makes up for his mistake. "Are ya soft in’t head or summat?"

"No, sir." Kyle mumbles, embarrassed at the fact that his Captain is cleaning up after him.

"He's gey glaikit" Johnny pokes over the comms.

"English, MacTavish." Simon presses the Scotsman.

"He's fuckin' dazed." Johnny quips. "Fuckin' cunt."

And then there's a collective laughter amongst the four soldiers and Kyle can breathe again, the memory of you tossed into the backlogs of his mind as he's back in the fray.

But then it's 2am on the base, and he can't sleep so he's in the kitchen trying to whip up some Pinterest drink,

"Angel's milk?" He scrunches his brows at his phone screen as it casts a blue shadow over his flummoxed features.

He shrugs his shoulders as he squeezes the bottle of honey into the bottom of his mug, followed by a generous amount of milk, and then he pops it into the microwave for a minute and a half. He leans against the kitchen island and lets out a sharp exhale.

"You were supposed to add vanilla."

He practically feels his skeleton jump out of his skin at the voice, but he can't lie about the fact that he was more than elated to see who was standing beside him.

Hell's fuckin' bells, as Johnny would say.

She was standing beside him, arms crossed, hair in a cutesy haphazard manner, dark circles carved under your eyes, dressed in a little pink striped VS lounge set. And fuck, you smell so good. Like warm vanilla, candied almonds, and maybe coffee? It is difficult to say because he is too flustered by your abrupt appearance.

Your presence and how striking you were up close as you were far away, breathing, existing right next to him.

"Bloody hell, you scared the shite outta me." He swallows thickly, and for the first time, he sees the corners of your lips gracefully turning up into a smile. And oh man, it's making his dick twitch pretty violently in his blue-white tartan pajama bottoms.

"Did I?" Not bothering to hide the satisfaction in your voice nor your expression.

"Ya did, indeed."

And the tension is so palpable. His eyes are skimming over the exposed skin of your thighs, from the fresh baby pink manicure on your nails to your shiny, lacquered lips. You were a sight for sore eyes.

Thump, thump, thump.

He can practically hear your metaphorical tail thudding against the kitchen tiles right now.

The beeping of the microwave rips through the suspense and he pushes himself off the counter to retrieve his heated mug. Opening the utensil drawer to pull out a spoon to stir the little concoction, but his brows are raising when you reach over to squeeze two drops of vanilla extract into his drink.

"Tryna poison me, are ya?" He teases, peering over at you. You have a mischievous glint in your eye as you put the cap back on and carefully tuck it away into the cabinet for later use.

"Don't need to."

"Why's that?"

But you've already turned away, walking back to wherever you came from, hips swaying in your satin pajama shorts that outline every curve of your sweet body.

"Because you'd already be dead by now if it were up to me." You state over your shoulder and then you disappear into the abysmal hallway.

And then he's back in his room again, tightly coiling his hand around his slippery cock that's soaking with his own saliva and maybe a little bit of lube. Same shit, different night, though, this time he was blessed with an addition to his hyperactive imagination.

This time he's thinking about how you would look bouncing on his cock, smiling down at him with your hands around his neck. Pretty, shimmering lips parting as those sharp eyes drift to the back of your head and--

"Shiiiiiiiit."

He's shamelessly cumming all over the hardwood floor of his room, milking out his semen as it comes out in steady ropes and he is heaving. He feels how his cock is convulsing in his hand and he lets out a winded breath before tossing himself against his mattress with heavy eyelids. He goes to bed wondering how worn out he'd be if he ever got his hands on you.

"Oi, Johnny, how many bloody times d'ya need me to tell ya? Pick up y'r fuckin boxers after ya've had y'r shower, ya daft twat!" Simon's roaring echoed through the hallways of the base, shaking up the new recruits but just another day to passing soldiers who had been there for longer.

Price and Kyle merely observe the pair from the sofa in their living room as Johnny's form peeks out to an irate Simon who is standing in the doorway to the shared washroom. Johnny is nonchalantly drying off his mohawk that's now touching the nape of his neck as he peers at the rubber ducky boxers pinched between Simon's fingers.

"Why, ye get frightened over a pair o' kecks?" Johnny is totally poking the bear that is Simon 'Ghost' Riley, and Kyle and Price have to stifle their laughter. But truly this was better than reality TV, so they let it go on.

Simon merely blinks down at the impish grin on Johnny's face.

"You fuckin'..." Simon begins to say.

"No, you are fucking YOU ARE FUCKING!" Johnny boasts out and there is a twinkle in his eye and the two are at it.

"Fuck YOU BLOODY BASTARD BITCH!" Simon plays along as he starts shouting back at Johnny and that just riles him up like the giddy puppy he is, continuing the brainrotting bit. Add that to the laundry list of things that's already on the post-mission 141 routine.

And then there's a rapping at the door that cuts off the laughter and the ridiculous comedy skit that Johnny and Simon are playing out.

"I'll get it." Kyle volunteers getting up from the couch to peer through the peephole, but he feels a lump in his throat at the sight.

"What is it, Kyle?" Price asks in a hushed tone. He must've seen the way the Sergeant visibly stiffened.

"It's her." Kyle emphasizes in a way that lets on a little more than he's willing to admit.

"The lassie from the other day?" Johnny pipes up, suddenly very intrigued.

There's a chorused 'Shh!' at Johnny, who's baby blue eyes widen a bit as a small smile appears on his face.

"A'right, sheesh."

The room is quiet for a brief moment before Kyle just decides to bite the bullet and jingle the door open. And there you are, dressed monochrome as hell, like a second skin in your normal attire. Long-sleeve, slate-grey henley fitting snugly around your upper extremities while the black cargos are hugging tightly around your thighs, but is falling baggy below the knee.

He shifts his weight against the doorframe, supping up your every feature, pretending like he isn't falling apart on the inside at your mere presence.

"Can we help you?" He asks, coolly.

Smooth, Kyle. Smooth.

You narrow your eyes at him. "Actually, yes." You mimic the way he folds his arms across his chest before you take a deep breath.

"Laswell sent me over."

Price enters your line of sight, pressing his palm at the base of the casing, and peers down at you with a cocked brow.

"Laswell, you say?"

You shamelessly size up the Captain, not caring how your eyes are lingering a little longer than they should on him and his Sergeant. The pair cock an amused brow at your behavior before you shift on your other foot.

"Yeah, she said you could use my expertise, I suppose." You shrugged indifferently. Whether they choose to bring you on board wasn't really a huge concern of yours. By now, you were sure that they knew of your reputation, so if they took a chance on you right now, you'd be more than elated to join their elite task force even for just one mission. A huge part of you was itching to get back in the field, and honestly, you had a feeling that these men were a lot more resilient and capable of handling themselves enough to not get killed in the line of duty.

Price turns around to Johnny and Simon who approach from behind and they all share a look before peering down at you

"Let's get to work then, yeah?"

It is laborious work withholding himself from not jumping over the table and biting the flirty Scotsman's head off when he sees the way he was making you giggle. Using his boyish charm to woo you as he puts his arm around the back of the sofa to show you just how easy it is to hack into Russian portal sites to access any organized terrorist emails, threads, or private chats on any relevant intel they could muster up.

Making dirty hacker jokes like, "Ye got an access point fer me?"

To which Price shoots Johnny a knowing 'down boy' look and, of course, he just gives him a coy smile in response. It's infuriating.

So instead of simmering like a twat, he gets up to make himself a cup of coffee. And if it weren't for the smell of candied almonds and vanilla drowning into his senses, he would've never felt your presence standing beside him.

"Ya followin' me or are ya actually after a brew?" His eyes fall on you as he moves to lean against the counter and sip at his coffee.

"Make me one?" You ask with a reticent smile.

He swears he can feel the lump in his throat expanding as his pretty honey eyes flicker to you. He licks his dry lips before casting you a half grin and sets aside his mug. Kyle is a gentleman. He would never deny a lady's request. If the lady wants a coffee, then she will get a coffee.

He wordlessly prepares the machine once again, popping in the K-cup, letting it run until the mug is full and offers it to her. She sweetly thanks him and even her voice is enough to get a little rise out of him, but not long enough before he watches her hand the fucking brew to Johnny. Fingers tighten around the handle of the ceramic, but before it can crack a gloved skeleton hand reaches over his own and puts it down for him.

"Don' let tha' twat get to you." Simon's gruff voice cuts into the Sergeant's head. "He's jus' takin' a piss on ya."

They both glance over at the two who are back to being friendly, kicking their feet up before returning to their respective roles. But Johnny flickers his gaze to the hard stare he's feeling on him and gives them a cheeky wink and grin, toasting his mug to him before sipping at it. Kyle scowls at him.

"A Twat, he is."

The day of the mission is like any other day, but your scent is literally driving him into a maniacal state as he's adjusting the laces on his leather boots. This time it's reminiscent of musky prickly pears, and figs that are infused with your natural scent, and it's making him break a sweat.

But he snaps himself back into his domain. He spurns any invitation from you to sidetrack him when he's prepping. Humiliating himself in front of his Captain the last go around certainly exceeds the threshold of mortification he could handle. Add you into the mix and it's a recipe for disaster.

It was a simple enough objective. They were conducting a training exercise. A sweep and search to detect and disarm IEDs that were at a high risk to civilians inhabiting the south side of London without alarming the public. You were specifically instructed to wear concealed weapons, plain clothes, and a cigarette or two to blend in, but damn. Your ass looks so good in those low-rise jeans and the henley that's unbuttoned a little too far down...

Focus, Kyle.

"Mission like this is elementary for someone like you, innit?" Price breaks the silence, as he adjusts the gun in his holster. His brows raise at you as he chews on some cinnamon gum.

You playfully scoff, "Didn't make it this far to die on a simple sweep and search."

"Awe, don't look too doonfaced that ye haven't been sent on a real mission yet." Johnny ribs winking at you.

That earns a little chuckle from the gentlemen around you except for Simon. He's gazing out the window in a far-flung daze, and you bump your knee into him. His dark eyes flicker to you and he bumps your knee back in acknowledgement. Just black cat things.

Surprisingly that doesn't wrack Kyle's nerves. Instead, it just brings a smile to his face. Being aware of your status within the base made the small interactions you shared with them all the more charming. The skittish black cat in you began to emerge from the alleyway, hesitant to be petted but still willing to brush her tail against their calves.

Cute.

"Mate, if you take any longer, 'm gonna blow myself up for fun."

"Oh, feck off."

Playful banter is exchanged between Simon and Johnny, as they work in pairs to disarm the 'bombs' scattered throughout the city while remaining undercover. Thankfully, the five of you were out of earshot from any residents because you'd all have a field day with that one and something tells you that Price doesn't exactly have the patience for that kind of thing.

"Suprised you're not complaining." Kyle speaks up as he surveys you to cut the last wire to neutralize the threat. The grass is dewy, and there's a hum of cars passing on the slick streets as civilians shuffle past, huddled in coats.

"Nice work, [name]." Price praises, seeing that you completed your task. You cast a smile his way.

"Thanks, Cap."

And he's moving back to Johnny and Simon who are too preoccupied with one another to see that their Captain is a bit disgruntled with their lack of urgency.

"They're such knuckleheads." You chuckle to yourself.

Kyle glances over at the three who are now bickering over something that was now completely unrelated to the task. His smile grows.

"That they are."

"So, do I pass or what?" You stood up straight, glancing over at your Captain. He gives you a good-natured grin.

"Don't get too cocky now. It's still an op, y' know?"

You nod your head. He was right about that. It still was an active operation that could flip at any moment. Intrusive thoughts flood your mind and you feel frozen.

"Hey," You feel a grounding hand on your shoulder. You glance up to see Kyle warmly smiling down at you. "You'll be alright. We'll be alright."

Price feels pride wash over him as he looks at his Sergeant and then back at you as he folds his arms over his chest. "This isn't like any team you've ever been on before."

"I've heard the stories." You mimic your Captain's gesture. "barely hangin' off a heli and still managing to rush the enemy? Impressive."

"Upside down at that." Price claps Kyle's shoulder, causing him to become bashful at his Captain's words.

Your Captain averts his gaze to Johnny and Simon, who are on their last disarming. "Are you lot finished, yet?"

He goes on to berate the two who were taking a wee bit too long for his liking, leaving the both of you alone. Kyle awkwardly shifts his weight as he hovers his hand over his gun.

Your gaze is intense on him, not even bothering to pick up any conversation. He can practically see your tail twirling, feeling at ease with his presence while he feels himself gnawing away at his insides to say anything.

He takes a breath. "You're a lot calmer than I thought."

You shrug. "Well, when you've outlasted seven crews, what's eight?"

"Yeah, about that," You both pause for a moment, observing as a throng of pedestrians treks on the sidewalk just a few yards away, but they disappear behind the buildings unaware of your militant presence. "you wanna tell me why you're the only one who's made it out?"

You narrow your eyes at him. He is right to be suspicious, but you didn't feel like being scrutinized for the nth time. You were proven innocent in every situation, but something lingers in the back of your mind that makes you feel guilty every time. The memories of your missions have gone south, the sharp sting of adrenaline coursing through your veins as you dodge ricocheting bullets. But you shake the thoughts away. "Another time, maybe. Don't wanna jinx it, do we now?"

Kyle grins at that. His honey eyes fixate on you, searching your expression for anything that will give way to what you're really thinking.

Before either of you can say more, Price's voice cuts through the air. "Enough chit-chat. We've got one more to disarm and I want it done before anyone catches wind of what we're up to."

The tension between you dissolves as a new one accumulates in your shoulders as you refocus on the task and approach the final IED. You begin to feel the reality of the situation hit you when you realize everything could go insanely wrong. The public may be unaware, but the consequences of failure are all too real. Your consequences, your failure.

Price gestures for you to take the lead on this one, after all, you're the one he's really examining. You don't realize it, but he has full belief in your abilities. He's read your file and he knows damn well what you're capable of. You're under the scrutiny of your teammates, but one shoulder squeeze from your Cap gives you the morale boost to drop to one knee and begin your work.

Upon investigating the device, you realize it's like the other devices and you feel yourself relax a little. Kyle is at your side, and trepidation seeps into your fingers as they cruise over the wires.

"Blue or red?" he asks.

You don't even skip a beat. "Blue." you reply, trusting your instincts. "On my count."

Kyle readies himself with his wire cutters. "One. Two. Three."

You both carefully snip the wires, and for a moment it feels like the world stops. Your eyes watch as the device powers down, neutralizing the threat.

"That's it." you breathe out, feeling relief wash over you as allow your shoulders to relax.

Price steps forward, and claps you both on the back. "Good work, Wisp, both of you. Civvies are starting to get curious around here."

Wisp?

"Yeah, Wisp! Tha's a good one, Cap!" Johnny cheers, holding out his hands to give you a double high five. You giggle at the unexpected enthusiasm, but you high-five him back and intertwined your fingers together and he does a mini jig.

"Did a fine job." Simon politely nods, respecting your space, unlike his idiotic, cutesy counterpart.

Kyle clicks his tongue but is grinning otherwise at your success. The Scotsman can flirt all day with you, but he knows there is some brimming between you two. It was simply a game of cat and mouse at this point.

Wisp.

As you gather your gear, a lingering sense of impending doom still skulks in the back of your mind. You feel an itch under the skin where your past scars have healed over, but it's duller than usual. Pushing it to the back of your mind, you fall into step with Kyle feeling as though something has shifted in your dynamic with everyone.

In that crucial moment, Kyle trusted you. They all trusted you. It lingers in your mind, a question left unasked.

Kyle nudges, catching your gaze. His smile stretches beautifully across his face. "Guess we make a good team don't we, Wisp?"

Wisp.

You can't help but return the smile, feeling the butterflies settle in your stomach. You feel reborn. "Guess we do."

As you walk away from the site, blending back into the hustle and bustle of the city, you can't help but wonder what your next mission will bring. Whether the tension that is rising between Kyle and you will go unspoken. For now, you'll allow yourself to savor your victory. You've come out of it unscathed. They came out of it unscathed. As awful as it was, that's more than what you could ever say about your last teammates.

And as the rain falls softly around you, you feel like the hell you've endured is somehow worth it.

[shalomniscient]

OH! sevchino thought that i suddenly had. in one of the asks you mentioned that you’re from SEA (me too!) was wondering what arle’s reaction would be if she would to taste south east asian cuisine, would she like them or would she have certain preferences?

omg i love this question !! had to sit and think about this one for a while HAHA for my non SEAsian or even non-msian gamers and moots, i'll add footnotes to the bottom of this post for each dish/food :)) ok last note before we get into the ask, i'm msian myself, so my 'expertise' as it were is in msian dishes (or, the msian variety). SEA is not a monolith and i won't pretend to know every single SEA dish out there, so the dishes i describe in this post won't be reflective of the true breadth of SEA cuisine !! ok disclaimer over tq for listening to my ted talk 😌😌😌

for breakfast foods i am legally obligated to make her try nasi lemak at least once bcos c'mon now. if i don't plug nasi lemak to foreigners i feel like the govt will kick my door down and revoke my citizenship. i usually take mine with fried chicken BUT i feel like arle would like paru (lung) ?? don't ask me why i am operating simply on vibes LOL but aside from that i think she'd be an absolute fiend for kaya on toast which honestly ??? so sexy of her, kaya is so fucking good

main dishes are a little difficult, admittedly, because a lot of them do have a generous amount of spice if i'm comparing it to fontaninan/european standards. i feel like arle has okay-ish spice tolerance, so i think arle could sit down and enjoy a toned-down rendang or an asam pedas that's more asam (sour) than pedas (spicy). anything higher than that like a straight up sambal might destroy her tastebuds LOL unless it's the kind of sambal that's got a sweeter aftertaste, though EYE personally don't like that kind of sambal LMAO as for noodle dishes, can't go wrong with a good ol' laksa or bakso. these are generally not the most spicy (and you can choose the spice level for bakso) as far as i've encountered them, so it's another win for arle !! also char kuey teow !!!! i prefer the dry version over the wet version, but both are FIRE and so fucking good. it's also not the spiciest, like you can get kuey teow that is kinda mild, so arle would be able to handle it 👍👍👍

ok now that we've got main dishes aside it's time to get really into it and go right to the sweet stuff and BOY do we have sweet stuff... i dunno why but i feel like arle would most enjoy semperit ?? maybe because i think it's very similar in taste to what you can find in fontaine. there's also bahulu, which is functionally the same as a sponge cake, just a lot smaller, like cookie sized. moving on from the kuih though we got the heavy sugar hitters like ais batu campur and cendol. i don't think arle would actively seek either of these out, but she will indulge in them if EYE drag her ass out to the night market to get some 😌😌😌 also i would 100% get her to try bandung and honestly i feel like she might like it !! but in moderation, because god that thing is sweet asf 💀💀💀

ok i think i've written everything i got for now so i can cease my rambling sdhlsjdhlsjhd in conclusion i feel like arle would gravitate more to the sweet foods than the spicy foods, but she can sit down and appreciate the spicy stuff once in a while !! in any case, thank u for the ask anonnie !! i think i got a little carried away but this was fun :))

nasi lemak - rice cooked in coconut milk and usually served with deep fried peanuts and anchovies, sambal, fried or boiled egg, and sliced cucumbers. can also be eaten with fried chicken or rendang.

paru - fried beef lung. personally not a fan, but it's usually eaten as a side dish to accompany nasi lemak.

kaya - a spread kind of like jam made from coconut milk, eggs, sugar and pandan leaves.

rendang - slow cooked and braised meat in coconut milk, seasoned with a metric fuckton of herbs and spices. my personal favourite is beef rendang, though it comes in chicken and lamb variations also.

asam pedas - a stew dish that involves fish cooked in with tamarind (asam) juice and assorted spices. usually will also have okra/lady's finger and/or eggplants added in as vegetables.

sambal - spicy chili paste, though some variations make it a little sweeter. sambal has a bunch of different versions, but my personal favorite is sambal belacan, which is sambal made with fermented shrimp paste (it's so fuckign good................ belacan my beloved)

laksa - sour-spicy noodle dish served in broth that contains coconut milk and/or tamarind, with chicken or prawn as toppings.

char kuey teow - stir fried rice noodles, usually prepared with lard but pork-free variations also exist. fried with cockles and prawns, but sometimes also with chicken or beef.

bakso - beef broth noodle soup with meatballs but SEAsian style 😎😎😎

semperit - a kind of crumbly custard cookie

bahulu - small cookie-sized sponge cakes

ais batu campur - shaved ice with red beans, syrup, condensed milk, evaporated milk, cendol, corn and agar-agar cubes. you can also add other stuff but iirc this is the typical combo. colloquially known as ABC.

cendol - shaved ice with green pandan-flavored jelly, coconut milk and palm sugar.

bandung - rose syrup mixed with evaporated milk and/or condensed milk

[casspurrjoybell-27]

Our Hearts Collide - Chapter 36 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Simon

A small cold hand rested on my cheek when the morning rays woke me.

Rowan was still sound asleep between us, with a hand on our faces.

Vince was up, too, simply smiling at me as I placed Rowan's arm comfortably at his side.

He didn't bother removing Rowan's hand from his face, most likely not wanting to wake him.

"Good morning," he said, gently reaching for my hand.

"Sleep well?"

I nodded, my eyelids still heavy but I didn't want to miss a single second of this moment.

Vince held my hand to his face, placing a chaste kiss against my fingers, not breaking eye contact once.

Heat flushed my cheeks as my legs intertwined with his under the sheets.

I would've felt compelled to make out with him if Rowan hadn't been between us.

That would have to wait.

We still had Rowan till at least breakfast, possibly lunch if Aspen and Sarah decided to take their time with Arthur.

Then, I'd have all day with Vince, it wasn't like we had anything planned.

Rowan, I reminded myself.

Breakfast.

While it was tempting to snooze for a bit more, I couldn't trust Vince to make breakfast and I wasn't going to bother Loreta when she already had many demanding and hungry Betas relying on her for breakfast.

"I'll make us something to eat," I said, reluctantly pulling myself out of Vince's grasp, careful not to wake Rowan.

"You can sleep in."

He pouted.

"Or I could help."

"I've got it. Unless you'd like to help get him up and dressed."

He glared at the dreaded dresser before turning back to me.

"How about you pick the outfit and I'll let him rest for another ten minutes."

"Sounds like a plan."

Managing to escape the sheets without disturbing Rowan, I quickly trotted over to the dresser, pulling out denim overalls and a striped onesie with paw prints matching Vince's Band-aid.

I set it on the foot of the bed before heading to the kitchen.

Since Aspen had left us some leftover bacon and rice, I pulled out a couple of eggs to make some fried rice.

Quickly scrambling the eggs and setting them on low to cook, I pulled out a couple of fruits to cut for Rowan, falling into steady multi-tasking.

It had been a while since I cooked a meal, mostly relying on Loreta nowadays but it was comforting moving between tasks, the smells of the bacon filling the house as everything came together.

Vince emerged with Rowan on his hip, the matching onesie and Band-aid completely adorable.

He wrapped around my waist, resting his chin atop my head as he watched me finish the fried rice.

"Looks and smells amazing."

"Thanks. Would you get him set up in his chair?"

Vince nodded, not before placing a kiss against my temple, then pulled out the high chair for Rowan, buckling him in as I plated the food.

"Nom nom," Rowan said lazily, opening and closing his fists at the plate of fruit.

Vince helped him with the fruits, cutting them even smaller when Rowan struggled.

His face was messy with the juices but Vince did his best at wiping the corners of his mouth after each bite, even making airplane noises when Rowan seemed hesitant with his food.

"How is it?"

I pointed to the fried rice.

"Delicious as always," he mumbled between bites.

"You don't have to scoff it down," I warned him.

"There's enough there, even for leftovers."

He rolled his eyes.

"But it's so much better fresh like this, though."

"True."

I laughed as Rowan would reach out and attempt to swipe a piece of fruit from Vince's plate, Vince, in return, made weird faces that made Rowan giggle.

Watching their interactions always made me smile and I think Vince knew that, only intensifying his reactions once he glanced in my direction.

Breakfast had gone well, Rowan was complacent and happy once he finished his food, not that he hadn't beforehand but he was much more awake and pleased to be out of bed now that he had food in his stomach.

I turned on a cartoon for Rowan as Vince cleaned the kitchen, occasionally snacking on the fruit Rowan couldn't finish before joining us in the living room.

By the second or third episode, Aspen had called to say that he had been on his way home.

*********

It seemed that all the pent-up desire and sexual tension needed a release as soon as Aspen and Sarah had thanked us for watching Rowan.

While Aspen had given us a brief overview of his trip, assuring that all was well, he insisted he needed time to process it all before sharing his thoughts on Arthur.

We barely managed to return to our room before we were all over each other.

Our lips were on each other before we could shut the door behind us, unaware if the other betas or even Xavier could hear us.

Never in a million years did I think I'd be that kind of person to be tunnel-visioned with lust but here we were.

After a heated kiss, our eyes met as we caught our breaths, our hands not parting from each other's faces.

Vince's blue eyes searched mine as if sharing the same thought.

"I want you."

I stared down at his lips.

"Is that so?"

We shared a laugh.

Vince hummed lowly before leaning forward to enrapture our lips together.

There was a fervent hunger in how he toyed with my tongue, occasionally nipping at my lips playfully.

His body pressed against mine in heated desire, one hand bracing my back as he carefully turned us around.

As his back pressed to the wall beside the bathroom, I got lost in the kiss and the feeling of our bond thrumming between us.

Pressing my lower half against his, a shaky breath escaped him, his hands falling to my waist and yet, despite the rush and increasing need to get closer, Vince was as tentative and gentle with every languid movement, cherishing each sensation.

I couldn't help but do the same in getting lost in the feeling.

The connection between us was indescribable.

I helped remove his shirt and pants, never parting from our kisses for very long.

Vince's nervous hands undid the button to my pants, his hand brushing against the skin beneath my belly button in a way that made my breath hitch.

All the simple yet delicate touches were driving me insane.

His hand fumbled with my shirt, struggling to pull them above my head.

He tossed it to the ground unceremoniously when he managed, glaring at it before pulling our bodies flush.

This wasn't our first time but the same electric feeling coursed through us as if it had been.

His gaze scanned my face as if memorizing every detail and I did the same.

Memorializing this moment with all the others that led up to this.

"Bed," I suggested, tilting my head in that direction with a grin.

He mirrored the grin before putting his lips back on mine, his hand on the small of my back.

"Bed," he agreed.

I pulled him along until the back of my legs hit the bed but as I sat down, his hand tugged mine.

"Wait," he breathed, guiding me to stand from the bed and sitting on the edge of the bed himself.

It took me a second to realize his apprehension stemmed from something he had mentioned earlier.

"Talk to me," I said, squeezing his hands as I spotted his worried look again.

He gulped, pulling me closer to him to rest his head against my chest like at Aspen's place.

"It scares me to be above, like you're trapped and wouldn't have the choice to make it stop."

"Trapped?" I said, resting a hand behind his neck as he buried his face.

He nodded slightly, resorting to the mind link.

'I'd rather you be in control.'

Trailing a finger along his chin and neck, I encouraged him to look up at me.

'Thank you for your honesty.'

[omegasomeone]

I’d started to write a story a while ago, but I wasn’t very happy with how I had written some of it, noticed stupid stuff I did (like forget like half a paragraph), so I rewrote it (also, this post is the “remaster” of like 5 different ones so long post ahead)

I wake up, still not used to being alone in a small bed. I get up, then make my way to the living room, where I am greeted by.. nobody. I grab a few copper coins, I’m gonna go buy some flowers later.

I’m in the middle of making myself breakfast when I hear a knock at my door. I can’t really answer, I have to watch my fried eggs to not burn them. It’s 6 in the morning, and I am not expecting anyone, much less at this hour. After a dozen seconds, another knock, this one louder. I continue ignoring them: if they wanted to see me, they could just have come later. “Guards here! Ingrid Desne, open this door or we will have to break it open!”

Ugh. That’s a name I hadn’t heard in a long time, kinda hoped I would never hear it again. Can’t help it, I guess. Though, this just made my day even worse in less time than it would take to say “bookworm”. “Wait a sec”, I yell, “I’m coming!” I turn off the stove, then note on a sheet of paper: “restock on fire stones”. I place my eggs on a plate. Perfectly cooked! You’re an egg master, Gri! Finally a good note to start today on! I go to the door, and open it, before firmly telling them no never ever dare call me that name again unless they had a death wish.

The guard promptly announces: “You are under arrest for suspected attempt of deicide.”

Oh, my runes. Oh, my fucking runes. And I thought this day couldn’t get any worse. I answer that this case was closed exactly 324 years, 2 months and 9 days ago, and that I was condemned to have my magic sealed off for stabbing a god with a non magical weapon because that asshole killed my partner over losing fucking 20 copper in poker, and that I would go enjoy my breakfast and to come back later with concrete proof but to not bother me before that pretty please, then close the door and come back to my eggs that, of course, are now cold. I haven’t swallowed a single mouthful of eggs when my door suddenly shatters. Half a dozen people burst into my living room. Someone raises their hand, and my mind goes blank.

I feel… weird. I think I’ve blacked out, but I am at least half conscious now, even though I can’t move, my body feels like a ragdoll, I can barely see anything, and most importantly, my head is in my plate. At least I can smell the odour of my mastery in cooking eggs better. Yay.

I hear muffled voices, saying something about evidence. My mind is cloudy. I feel like falling asleep. So much for a day where I had planned to bring flowers to a tomb then go to sleep. Someone grabs me. I struggle not to lose consciousness again. Someone puts me on their shoulder. I feel like I’m gonna black out a second time.

I wake up. I smell faintly like rotten eggs. I look around, to see where I am: no windows, damp walls and floor, bars.. yup, that’s a cell. Ooo, a plate! I chow down on the stale bread that was probably supposed to be my sustenance for the week in less than ten seconds, before noticing someone seemingly sleeping in a chair on the other side of the bars.

I call: “Hey, what the hell is happening?” Startled, the guard falls down from their chair, stands back up and picks up their staff. “Since when are mages prison guards, I ask, and why am I here?” The mage casts a fireball, and slowly approaches me. I couldn’t clearly see them beforehand, but the light of their spell makes me able to notice their face and clothes: with light blue eyes, and a small, slightly pointy nose, a bright pink and white dress, looking like they have never been hurt a single time in their life, their appearance startles me.

“Wait, if you aren’t a guard, then who are you?” I shout at them, before realising that my aggression was not at all helping the situation, as they were trembling. I sigh: “Listen, kid, it’s not against you. I woke up in a cell after being abducted during my breakfast when my day was already ruined, and the people that took me didn’t even bother cleaning me when they made me faceplant into it. I am in a pretty bad mood right now, but I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like this. What’s happening to me is not your fault, as far as I’m aware, so I’m sorry. So, why don’t you tell me who you are and what is going on?”

“Come on, I don’t bite! I am just trying to get answers, and you happen to be the only one I can get them from. So please, give me some explanations.”

The person on the other side scrambles for something in their pockets, before pulling out a pen and a small book. They write something on it, before showing it to me. In a full-of-loops handwriting, there is noted: “is it true that you stabbed a god?” “Yes”, I answer, surprised. “I used to count the amount of days had passed since I had done so, but now, I don’t really know anymore. I only just woke up and it could have been 10 minutes just as well as ten centuries since last time I was conscious! Why do you ask? And I don’t remember knowing who you are?”

My interlocutor promptly shows me their book, in which I read: “I need your help! Order from the daughter of the King!” Wait, what? That old fart has a daughter? I still remember how much of an event it was when his first son was born, which was…10~ish years ago? How didn’t I hear about a daughter? Oh well, might be a touchy subject, if true. She didn’t specify her princess rank, just said she was his daughter.

Might also be a lie, but at this point I don’t care anymore, at least I got an answer.

“So, what do you want from me? It’s not like I’ll be of much help without magic anyway, I’m pretty sure.” She writes: “please help me escape.” Confused, I ask her what she need to escape from; she then answers, in a slightly hesitant writing: “this country. My father. Everything.” On the next page, there is written: “I was fleeing the castle when I heard guards talking about the incarcerated god killer, and when I found this prison, nobody was guarding it. I thought you could help me.”

She takes a keyring out of her pocket as I accept, and inserts a key in my cell’s door. Nothing. She tries with another one. No success either. She removes it. Pick up the one next to it. Still no progress.

After what felt like years, she finally finds the right one. I step out of my cell, and we make our way out, without encountering any guards, nor any prisoners for that matter.

Before opening the jail’s gate, I turn to my newly found adventuring companion, and ask her: “by the way, you can call me Gri. What about you, what’s your name, Princess?”

…

…

“You don’t want to tell me? Well, I’ll just refer to you as Princess, I guess?”

As we open the doors, I realise the streets are empty. The sky is pitch black, but nobody turned the streetlights on. Even then, there is still light some light, almost as much as if it were late afternoon. No shop is open, and even the inn is closed. Carriages are few and most of them are broken, no horse attached to any of them.

I trip on something. A guard. Or more like half of one: their lower body has been ripped off, and judging by the state of decomposition of the body, they’ve been here for a few days at least. In their hand, a fancy but broken sword. I pick it up: it’s better than nothing, and it’s not like they’re going to need it. I notice a few arms on the floor. A leg there. Yeesh.

I turn to the princess, and before I even ask her if the city was already in this state when she entered the jail, her horrified expression gives the answer away. She starts pointing at the sun. Crimson. …Just like last time a god had been attacked. I would know, I’m the one who stabbed that sucker.

Is this why I was arrested? Was it already like this when I got arrested? No. It can’t be. I’m pretty sure the sky was blue then. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do wh-

Something grabs my arm. It startles me, and I only recognise the princess after a solid five seconds. I take her by the hand, and ask her to follow me: we either have to flee, or hide. The panic that must have caused the city to be in such a terrible state can’t have only been the result of the red sun, something -or someone- must have been at least part of the reason for such a chaos. And if whatever came to this place and killed all those guards is still here, we’re in deep trouble.

Through narrow streets, we make our way to a house: run down, with ivy growing on the walls: the only reason I recognise my house is because all my furniture can be seen in the living room, through the broken door. Everything is ruined inside, like it had been left to mould for years. All of my food has gone bad, and there are cracks on the wooden floor.

After asking the princess to wait for me, I make my way to my room. Except for the musty bed and the occasional worm-eaten wooden board in the flooring, everything seems about fine. I grab the little box under the bed: still intact! A small wooden box with a silver lining, and protective runes carved on the sides. Inside, a small crossbow, a dagger and a pocket watch, all lined with silver just like the box they’re in. I still remember when I got these as if it were yesterday. I guess you were right: “a silver lining to see hope in tomorrow”, huh? I wish you could tell me what to do, you’ve always been the one guiding me. I miss you so bad, Leon, you have no idea. But it’s too late, I know. You’ll never be able to come back. Your soul might not even exist anymore. I am so sorry for not being able to bring you back. If only I could have done some-WAIT I DON’T HAVE TIME TO GRIEVE LOVED ONES WE HAVE TO GO NOW

I rush into the living room with the box, put it in my bag. Ew, moss grew inside of one of the pockets! We make our way out of the city through small alleys. Nobody is even guarding the city gates anymore. The sun looks to be setting in a few hours: we’d better get to the nearest town before sundown.

[finniestoncrane]

Hey, loving your stuff, especially your take on capullo!Riddler, hes such a lovable sleaze-bag♥️🥰 Wanted to ask if you have any headcanons on whats it like to sleep in the same bed with the riddlers? Also maybe how they like to be woken up👀😏?

Riddlers Waking Up

Riddler Headcanons good god i love that sleazy little misogynist, ready to set back feminism for that red-headed angel 💚 this was such a fun request anon and now i am sleepy and aroused so good modd i guess request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: sex work, suggestive language, daddy!kink

young justice

god he is an absolute sweetheart to sleep with. he'll let you bring stuffies in, he'll make sure you have enough duvet, he'll fluff your pillows for you before you get in, and he'll make sure you are comfortable with the way he's hugging you. definitely likes being big spoon because it makes him feel like the protector he likes waking up to you stroking his hair or his face, just watching him peacefully sleeping, or waking up with his face buried into your head or neck, inhaling the smell of your shampoo

gotham

another one who makes it his mission to have it feel like you're sleeping in a five star hotel. clean sheets, pyjamas folded on your pillow, he's one mint short of being able to apply for a star rating system. he's long and lanky and wraps himself around you in your sleep, holding you round the waist, close to him he likes to wake up first, just so he can prepare your cute breakfast of heart shaped toast with a question shaped fried egg in the middle (intricate, wonder how many times he failed before this perfect looking one) and tea. always with the tea

twojar

he has a bachelor bed. not a gross bachelor bed, like he has a bed frame and sheets and more than two pillows. but it's very sterile and gray and the sheets don't have softener on them. it's nice to sleep in the same bed as him though because he likes sleeping naked (kaching) and loves having your head and hand resting on his chest (kaching) while he strokes your arm or hair or side if he could wake up to you stroking his chest, tracing his scar, running your hands through his hair, he would be set for the rest of the day. he keeps mouthwash in the bedside cabinet so that he can start the day off right with a very passionate kiss

telltale

he needs his space. if he didn't think it would upset you, he would like to suggest you have two single beds like a couple on a 60s tv sitcom. but he'll tolerate sharing a bed as long as it is at least king-size and he doesn't feel you in the night. he will always without failure give you a kiss before you fall asleep though if he wakes up and his back doesn't hurt, that's all he could ever wish and hope for. and it's nice you're still there too. but not having to pound painkillers with his coffee, sorry at his age that's more desirable than morning sex

dano

he will fall asleep facing away from you but you will wake up with him wrapped around you. he's just a bit shy, he doesn't want to bother you, get in your space during your sleep, because sleep is so important! but he can't help himself, his body just gravitates towards you, desperate to hold you very close and protect you in the morning, he likes you to turn the alarm off before it wakes him up so that you can gently bring him into the day with a kiss on the forehead, brushing his fluffy hair, and passing him his glasses so the first thing he can see without blurry vision is you

unburied

he has to be the little spoon and he'll freak out and make sure you do not sleep unless he gets to be snuggled and warmed. he's a total pain in the ass. he will pull the duvet off you, sleep in the middle of the bed, keep you awake if you are sleepier than him. the worst. but he makes up for it by being so soft and cute and huggable he likes to be wakened up with you around him, kissing the back of his neck, definitely hinting to him that there's potential for it to be a very good start to the day

arkham

god he is a sweetheart to sleep with. he's a night time shower guy, so when he gets into bed he's soft, warm and clean (which isn't as nice a smell as his usual musk, but whatever). his hair is soft, his face is free of smudges, and you can really get a good look at how handsome he is. so many kisses will get peppered all over you, and he won't go to sleep until he's made sure you've already nodded off. whatever calms you down most, riddles, hair stroking, tickling your arm, he'll dedicate hours to it if need be if you could wake him up with some worship of his body that would be nice. kissing his arms, his chest, his face, his legs, his side, just a nice reminder that you're very interested in him for something other than his intelligence, because he's stupidly self-conscious about that

capullo

no sheets for you. no space for you. you can one pillow but he needs three. he's too hot so don't touch him, but he will fall asleep with his hands on your chest or your ass. he snores too, and don't even think about waking him up to get him to stop because he really needs his rest, he's too important to not function on a solid 9 hours. also here's a question: will you let him fall asleep while he cock warms inside of you? because that would really help him relax and don't you want to make him happy? ok so if he's dreaming, he'd love to wake up to you sucking him off. is that really too much to ask? or like, hey if you're really keen to please, just start riding him. he wakes up hard most mornings anyway so you can just hop right on. if he wakes up first, you can also bet you'll wake up to him pressing his erection against you. irritating, i love him

[roselightfairy]

Hobbit cookery

As a Christmas gift this year, my dad got me this delightful book: An Unexpected Cookbook: The Unofficial Book of Hobbit Cookery. It’s so much fun; it’s hobbit-inspired, historically/mythologically accurate, and arranged according to the seven meals a day. So what was I to do but plan a whole weekend with @daisyfornost​ to cook as many meals as possible from it?

And what are we supposed to do, once we have made so many delicious meals, but document it online for all to see?

So here we are, as a celebration of my spring break (and you could call it an early celebration of the Gondorian New Year, if you, like us, are committed to giving everything narrative significance) - and here I am, about to take you on a recap of our culinary adventures this weekend! Lots of pics of food below the cut.

(image description: a combination of potatoes and bacon and mushrooms in a cast iron skillet)

We began with a Saturday breakfast (begun bright and early, which is quite unlike us) of mushroom and bacon hash. Hearty, savory, rich, and delicious - especially with a fried egg on top.

(image description: a shallow bowl of the hash with a fried egg on top)

Though we did laugh because this recipe called for “leftover baked potatoes” (a lot of the recipes interact with each other in that way, calling for leftovers from a different recipe) even though there was not a single recipe listed that actually involved baking the potatoes to begin with.

For...elevenses? Afternoon tea? Unclear what meal we really ate this for, since we’ve snacked on it pretty much incessantly over the last two days... we made a lavender and lemon bread, except - we made it in a bundt pan.

(image description: a glazed golden brown bundt cake flecked with lavender)

It both looks and tastes like something you’d pay too much money for from the Starbucks display case - but better.

(image description: a slice of that cake on a plate. The inside is yellow and also flecked with lavender)

The next three recipes we made are of that interacting-with-one-another kind. For dinner last night, we made a “Sunday Roast Chicken” (though technically it was Saturday) with roasted vegetables:

(image description: a pan of partially-roasted vegetables such as potatoes and celery. A crispy brown chicken rests on a roasting rack above the vegetables)

Stuffed inside the chicken was also some rosemary we “harvested” from the neighborhood, which felt very appropriate. (Shire communes are canon now, because we said so, and Tolkien heavily implied it anyway.)

We picked the meat off the chicken last night, and then this morning we boiled the carcass with some more veggies to make an “easy chicken broth for busy hobbits”! (Though I’m not sure how busy you can really be if the broth needs to simmer for two hours . . . unless you’re willing to leave it unattended.) And then, for a late lunch and our final hobbit meal today, we made mushroom soup with it!

(image description: a plate holding two pieces of bread and butter and a small soup bowl full of mushrooms in broth)

It was very good with bread and butter.

I am basically incapable of standing up, I’m so full, but what a wonderful culinary weekend - and I’m so glad to have a nerdfriend who wants to indulge in both food and narrative with me. <3

[hb-writes]

all the food and drink emoji questions for clara <3

Hey there. Took me a minute to get through these. 😅 Thanks for participating in the celebration! ❤️

🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast?

First off, Clara loves breakfast. I think she'd eat breakfast for every meal if they'd let her. Her comfort breakfast is actually the Shelby family Christmas breakfast (famously cooked by Polly). Clara always consumes more cake and biscuits on Christmas morning than any actual breakfast food, but they always negotiate at least a single egg to go on her plate.

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it?

Clara was born in the early morning hours of February 10, 1908 (and Finn was born in the late evening of February 9th). I do think Clara enjoys celebrating. Clara loves cake, remember? I also just have a little headcanon that Finn and Clara are always together and celebrate at midnight in-between their birthdays.

🍩 DONUT - favourite sweet treat?

Pretty much anything sweet and sugary, though I think she's most commonly enjoying biscuits. Anything with chocolate.

🍟 FRIES - do they order food often? or they prefer to cook their own food?

Clara enjoys being in the kitchen. Polly's taught her to bake. And she's actually learned a lot about cooking from John (he's quite good at it though he feigns incompetence sometimes because he's lazy). Once she moves to Arrow House, there's not much opportunity and she's not exactly encouraged to spend time with the cooks in the kitchen (Mary has a big problem with the impropriety of it all), but Clara always makes friends with the chef both to ensure access to sweets and to get them to teach her a bit. Having access to a chef, she's pretty indifferent to eating out in a restaurant unless there's live entertainment of some type involved.

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE - do they prefer hot or cold drinks? what is their favourite drink?

Clara loves a hot beverage. Tea is her favorite. And whiskey is her preferred adult beverage. 🫖🥃

🍓 STRAWBERRY - do they eat their fruit & veg? what is their favourite fruit or vegetable?

Clara loves her sweets, but she has no qualms about eating her vegetables. She loves her decadence, but she's reasonable about eating balanced meals. She doesn't have a favorite vegetable. She sees them more as a mere necessity, but she loves fruit, especially berries.

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes?

Clara is generally an equal opportunity enjoyer of cakes, but her favorite cakes always have chocolate in the recipe.

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

Clara keeps plenty of little treasures - like all of the things in the box mentioned in Easier to Bear and Tommy's old pocket watch in Things They Left Behind. Tommy also bought Clara several Beatrix Potter books when she was very young (not all at once, but he’d buy them as the money was saved). They’re well-worn by the time she’s reading them to Charles and Ruby, but she very much treasures them and keeps them with her books and revisits the stories as a teen/ adult. The older she gets, the more she realizes how great of a sacrifice Tommy made to always buy her books and instill in her a love of learning. She'd be devastated if she lost any of her special little trinkets. They all hold a lot of history and love and meaning to her.

Send in an ask to celebrate 4 years with Miss Clara Shelby!

**REQUESTS FOR THIS CELEBRATION ARE OPEN UNTIL OCTOBER 8th**

[r3almellow]

MLQC Boys And The Domestic Life

I kept this as PG-13 as possible.  You guys know I can be a little...naughty with my HC’s but I know that isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, so I try not to do too much. I apologize if you were hoping something else! Apologies for the typos and such! 

Warning: Slight Spoilers for those who know nothing about their backstories or current events!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kiro

Kiro’s life is crazy enough as it is, so coming home to you is a nice change of pace. No cameras flashing in his face, no overly excited fans, and no manager to hound him about what he can and can’t eat. It’s just you and him just the way he likes it.

Your boy is a gamer and will always try to pull you into whatever he’s playing. 

He will buy a lot of two player games just so you can play with him. 

If its a single player game you enjoy watching him play! He’ll even offer to teach you how to play!

Since he’s also a huge fan of comics he’ll talk your ear off about them! 

Bonus points if you’re a comic book lover and/or a gamer too! 

Will fall even more in love with you if you go out of your way to buy things he’s interested in. 

“I got you this limited edition Iron Man statue! Like it?” 

He’ll marry you right then and there! 

Kiro is very playful so expect tons of play fights! Tickle fights, pillow fights, and wrestling which...turns into....you know....

Kiro enjoys going grocery shopping with you. Of course he has to be in disguise in order to shop with you in peace, but he enjoys the company while he buys things that would get him into trouble with Savin. 

However, Savin has nothing to worry about when it comes to Kiro’s eating habits, because while you’re pretty lenient with Kiro and often him join his mischievous activities, you do a great job with following his diet routine. 

You’ll sometimes join him on his diets to support him. Its hard on you, especially when the sight of french fries makes your mouth water. 

“See, honey, drinking a protein shake isn’t so bad!” 

“But I want a milkshake, barbecued ribs and a nice juicy burger!!!!” Poor baby just wants to eat!

You’re normally the one that cooks mainly because Kiro never has time to do it himself and almost always settles for something quick or whatever his nutritionist shoves down his throat.  If he does have time off you both cook together. 

If Kiro ends up breaking his diet you join him on his workouts. Kiro doesn’t mind because there’s something about you being all sweaty and panting heavily that really gets him going. 

 “I’m sweaty and gross...” 

“What a coincidence?! I’m all sweaty and gross too! Lets take a shower together.” 

In the bedroom, Kiro is definitely a cuddler and it doesn’t matter who cuddles first as long as he can feel you against him. 

Because of his busy schedule Kiro becomes extremely needy. Both in the sexual and non-sexual sense. He hates being away from you for too long and calls you almost everyday while he’s away. 

He’ll be in the middle of rehearsals while FaceTiming you and Savin is like “BOY IF YOU DON’T STOP WITH THAT PUPPY LOVE BS AND FINISH THIS DANCE NUMBER I’LL...” 

If your relationship isn’t public yet, Kiro won’t do too much, but he will steal kisses when he thinks no one is looking. You two have been caught fooling around by Savin a few times, which always ends with him scolding you both. 

But once you go public, EXPECT TONS OF KISSES AND HUGS ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE! THIS MAN DOESN’T CARE. 

He wants the world to know how much he loves you and will continue to broadcast it until hell freezes over. 

Will put his fans in their place if they try anything with you. Your sunshine ain’t afraid to lay down the law!

Top 3 Pet Names: Miss Chips, Honey, and Cutie. Honorable Mention: Cookie

Gavin

As you know, Gavin’s upbringing wasn’t exactly the best and seeing what his mom went through, he never wants to put you through that. 

This man practically worships you! You’re everything he’s ever wanted in a partner so he’ll do anything to keep you in his life and happy. 

Casual dates. Nothing too fancy unless its a special occasion like a birthday or maybe....a wedding proposal?! 

Aside from that, Gavin’s pretty simple and often lets you take the lead which you find infuriating since you want him to have some sort of input in decision making when it comes to little things.

Gavin is the cook of the household mainly because you think he’s the better cook. If you make such claims, Gavin will always say that he prefers to eat whatever you make.

In bed, Gavin likes to hold you tightly from behind with his faced buried in your hair. His favorite position is where you’re hugging him and he has his head pressed against your chest. Its easier to hear your heartbeat that way. 

If you stroke his hair while holding him then he’s a goner. He’ll be out like a light and you’ll just watch how adorable he looks sleeping against you.

Days where you’re both home are referred to as “Lazy Days.” You’ll sit around, do absolutely nothing, and enjoy each other’s company. You may wash Sparky after its gone through a full week of riding through the city, but sometimes the laziness is just too strong. 

Doesn’t help when Gavin has you in his arms. The entire day can escape you when you’re in such a comfortable position. 

As for PDA, this man doesn’t care who’s watching! If he feels like kissing you then he’ll kiss you and he’s all about hand holding. If you’re uncomfortable with such gestures then he’ll refrain from doing so.

Until you say otherwise, you will be getting a lot of affection out in the open! If people glare, then he’ll just glare right back and go back to loving on you. 

Being in love with you and not caring what people think isn’t a crime, right?! 

Obviously, he won’t do anything too wild, but Gavin can be a bit mischievous when he wants to be. 

He’s not as bad as Kiro in the cheeky department, but a lot of the “accidental” touches aren’t accidents at all! 

Always your protector. Is always up for kicking someone’s ass if they look at you funny. He’d go to jail for you or...at least make whatever he’s about to do look like an accident.

Clingy Baby #2!

When he’s gone for long periods of time, he clings on to you and never lets you go once he returns. 

Holding you in his arms while you’re trying to cook, casually playing with your hands as the two of you watch TV, and heated make out sessions that often end in a night of passion. 

No one would have guessed Gavin could turn into a touch starved crazy man. But could you blame him? The things he has to go through on missions really puts him in a mood. He needs your love and affection after a long mission. 

Prefers to spoil you instead of the other way around, but let’s you pamper him. He hasn’t been shown any form of affection since his mother died, so bare with him! 

Gavin has never told you this outright, but you’re the closest thing to a home he has ever had in a very long time. Wherever you are, he wants to be right by your side. 

Top 3 Pet Names:  Babe/Baby, Beautiful, and Angel

Victor

Victor loves taking you out whether its to nice restaurants or out of the country. 

Has no problem dropping thousands on you because you deserve the world. You’ll have to tell him to calm down with how much he spoils you, but he most likely won’t listen. 

Of course he’s not completely insane and has some level of restraint. 

Ever the professional, there is a difference between how Victor treats you at work compared to when you’re home. 

He always wants you to be at your best and doesn’t want you slacking off just because you’re with him.  

At home, Victor is a way more affectionate with you. The first few times he pulled you in for a loving embrace or a kiss, you had to do a double take. This isn’t the cold-hearted CEO who picked a part your report and verbally ripped it to shreds just hours before!

Victor does most of the cooking, but if you want to help him he won’t complain. Just listen to the directions he gives you and he won’t critique you.

He does appreciate it when you cook for him. Sometimes you’ll wake up before him just to prepare a nice breakfast and his heart just swells at the sight of you doing your best to make scrambled eggs. 

“Its a little runny, but edible.” Wow...thank’s, honey. 

Victor loves taking you to Souvenir so he can cook for you. Lunch dates and dinner dates are sometimes had there. 

Sleeping wise, Victor will entwine his fingers with yours and hold your hand over his chest as he sleeps on his back and you sleep on your side. He will never admit it, but he’s a big fan of being the big spoon especially after a night of intimacy. 

Will teach you French if you ask! Will sometimes tease you by throwing out random French phrases and if you figure out what he says he’ll give you a reward!

TRIPLE POINTS IF YOU RESPOND BACK IN FRENCH. Leave him shook!

Your man is a workaholic! You sometimes have to convince him to sleep after he spends countless hours working. Even on his days off his eyes are either glued to his phone or his computer. 

He’ll be reluctant, but he’ll drop whatever he’s doing if you’re adamant about him getting rest or spending time with you.  

If he’s already in bed looking over paperwork you can just snuggle up to him to distract him from what he’s doing. Of course he’ll complain, but all of that stops the minute he wraps his arms around you. 

Victor isn’t one for too much PDA, but he will do small things. 

For example, you’ll be at a company event, he’ll squeeze your hand gently and kiss the back of it just to see you blush.

Speaking of events, you attend all of the banquets with him. Everyone knows who you are and who you’re with. They won’t dare try any funny business with you.

 There is a big part of him that likes to brag about you to his business associates. 

“They saved a dying company through hard work and determination, has to deal with me on a daily basis, and continues to persevere even when the odds are against them. They’re one of a kind.” 

Top 3 Pet Names: Idiot/Dummy, Dear and Darling(Victor normally uses nicknames when you’re in an intimate setting and very rarely) 

Lucien

Ever since he was young Lucien has known nothing but hardships and just how cruel and twisted the world was. 

Having you in his life really changes his perspective on the world. Who would have thought that a man like him would have someone as precious as you in his life?

Your dates consist of art exhibits, aquariums, and picnics in the park. Honestly Lucien prefers private and more intimate dates with you. It gives him a chance to learn more about you and to really focus on you without the distraction of the outside world. 

You cook together and its pretty much a perfect balance. You learn different recipes together and think of it as a bonding experience.

You often visit him on campus for lunch dates and to work on whatever project you’ve roped him into. 

You’re not sure why, but his students practically adore you. You’ve heard them whisper about your future with the popular professor. Talks of marriage often fills the room whenever they catch wind of you being on campus for the day. 

You find it embarrassing, but Lucien only laughs off the murmurs of his students. 

They have active imaginations, but he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t think of spending the rest of his life with you.

Lucien is fine with PDA. He’ll hold your hand and give you gentle kisses. He’ll tease you a lot!! There’s never a time where he doesn’t have you blushing. 

He enjoys catching you off guard! Lucien will even go as far as to steal a quick kiss while you’re rambling about how much stress you’re under with work. 

Lucien’s favorite thing to do with you is to relax in a nice warm bubble bath. It only turns steamy 70% of the time but Lucien truly enjoys little intimate moments like that with you. 

When it comes to sleeping, Lucien really likes it when you’re sleeping against him with your head on his chest and he has an arm around your torso.

He also likes listening to your steady breaths as you sleep. There’s something soothing about how calm you sound in your most vulnerable state. He sleeps a thousand times better when you’re with him.  

Lucien appreciates how accepting you are of him despite the fact that he’s done a lot of harm in the past. 

You trust that Lucien will never hurt you and while he knows this, he sometimes feels like he has a lot to prove. 

Deceiving you is his biggest regret and if you continue to love him, Lucien will devote his life to making you happy.

Top 3 Pet Names: My Little Fool, Love, and Silly

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Done! I really hope you like it! Want to read more of my stuff?! Please go to my MLQC masterlist here!

[love-takes-work]

Over 150 Steven Universe Recipes

Here is my absurd gallery of recipe photos. Every recipe here has been eaten, prominently featured, or (in a few cases) mentioned on Steven Universe or Steven Universe Future.

Recipes I did not make would include a) stuff eaten that wasn’t really food (usually); b) stuff that was drawn as background art or incidentally; c) food that shows up again and again if I’ve already made it once; d) stuff that only appeared in comics or games; e) sentient food (usually), unless it was eaten (this is more of a problem in Steven Universe than most people recognize). 

Enjoy. Numbers correspond to descriptions after the jump. Find a recipe in the show that I haven’t done and I’ll buy you lunch.

1. Hot Dogs and Hamburgers - "Beach Party" 2. Amethyst's Birthday - "So Many Birthdays" 3. Beans - "Are You My Dad?" 4. Mask Island Fish - "Island Adventure" 5. Perfectly Timed Afternoon Sandwich - "Onion Friend" 6. Bagel Sandwiches - "Cheeseburger Backpack" 7. Three-Way Sub - "Say Uncle" 8. Slurpable Fish - "Steven and the Stevens" 9. Battle Rations - "Change Your Mind" 10. Hoagie - "Super Watermelon Island"

11. Brunch - "Steven Reacts" 12. That 'Za - "Guidance" 13. Breakfast Only Breakfast - "Maximum Capacity" 14. Bindle Lunches - "On the Run" 15. Bodyguard Sandwich - "Shirt Club" 16. Bigger Together Breakfast - "Together Breakfast" 17. Bixbite's Pizza - "Guidance" 18. Caprese Salad - "Shirt Club" 19. Blowtorch Grilled Cheese - "Space Race" 20. Bluebird's Cake - "Bluebird"

21. Cloud - "Steven the Sword Fighter" 22. Cheeseball Cake - "Fusion Cuisine" 23. Mushed-Up Carrots - "Greg the Babysitter" 24. Secret Meal - "House Guest" 25. Bowl of Cereal - "Arcade Mania" 26. Chaaaaps - "Monster Buddies," "Onion Friend," and more 27. Spicy Chili - "In Dreams" 28. Tasty Cereal (and cereal dust) - "Greg the Babysitter" 29. Carrot Bean Meal - "Rose Buds" 30. Clams, Peanut Butter, and a Side of Fresh-Cut Grass - "Bluebird" 31. Cherries - "Mr. Greg"

32. Garnet's Cookies - "Warp Tour" 33. Connie's Smoothie - "Sworn to the Sword" 34. Cookie Cat Ice Cream - "Growing Pains" 35. Colonel Kernel's Classic Creamed Corn - "Rose's Room" 36. Hot Cocoa - "Growing Pains" 37. Homemade Cookie Cats - "The Future" 38. Cookie Cake - "Steven's Birthday" 39. Corndogs - "Too Short to Ride" 40. Hunted Fish - "Fragments" 41. Cookie Cats - "Gem Glow" 42. Battle Refreshments - "Sworn to the Sword"

43. Dirt - "Prickly Pair" 44. Microwaveable Breakfast Friends - "Political Power" 45. Egg Salad - "Steven vs. Amethyst" 46. Crystal Lizards - "Lion 2: The Movie" 47. Donut Box - "Sadie Killer" 48. Dog Nut - "Lion 3: Straight to Video" 49. Durian Juice - "An Indirect Kiss" and many others 50. Melted Ice Cream - "Political Power" 51. Crystal Drinks - "Rose Buds" 52. Dad Breakfast - "House Guest"

53. Fantastic Fries - "Restaurant Wars" 54. Everything Pizza - "What's Your Problem" 55. Fire Salt & Fries - "Joking Victim" 56. Fish Stew Pizza - "Steven's Lion" and MANY others 57. Fresh-Squeezed Lemonade - "Rising Tides, Crashing Skies" 58. French Toast Breakfast - "The New Lars" 59. Fire Salt Donuts - "Joking Victim" 60. Orange Juice - "Alone at Sea" 61. Food for Stranded Humans - "Lars' Head" 62. Fressssh Donuts - "Steven Floats" and many others

63. Breadsticks - "Fusion Cuisine" 64. Gem Harvest - "Gem Harvest" 65. Fruit Cereal - "In Dreams" 66. Guacola - "Drop Beat Dad" 67. Shrimp Appetizer - "Fusion Cuisine" 68. Giant Bird Egg - "Cheeseburger Backpack" 69. Graduation Cake - "Little Graduation" 70. Frybo Fries - "Frybo" 71. Funnel Cake - "Onion Trade" 72. Fry Bits - "Laser Light Cannon" and MANY others

73. Alien Carcass - "Jungle Moon" 74. Cliff Picnic - "An Indirect Kiss" 75. Jungle Moon Fruit - "Jungle Moon" 76. Hot Dog - "We Are the Crystal Gems" opening theme 77. Happy Breakfast - "Keystone Motel" 78. Korean Lunch - "Steven's Dream" 79. Jam and Biscuits - "Sworn to the Sword" 80. Fish Kebabs - "Island Adventure" 81. Lars' Lunch - "Coach Steven" 82. Ice Cream à la Pie - "Mr. Universe"

83. Mayo Sandwich - "Future Vision" 84. Macaroni Cheese - "Warp Tour" 85. Confectionary Puff Rocks - "Kindergarten Kid" 86. Hotteok & Fruit Milk - "Steven's Dream" 87. Snack Sushi - "Cooking With Lion" 88. Lion Lickers - "Nightmare Hospital" and others 89. Hot Dog & Marshmallow Kebab - "It Could've Been Great" 90. Largest Bowl of Ice Cream in Beach County - "Joking Victim" 91. Marshmallows - "Winter Forecast" 92. Macaroni and Nothing - "Warp Tour"

93. Mashed Potato Steven Sculpture - "Onion Friend" 94. Mooncakes - "Little Graduation" 95. Party Sub - "Your Mother and Mine" 96. Pie - "So Many Birthdays" 97. Onion Rings - "Garnet's Universe" 98. Our Own Snacks - "Lion 2: The Movie" 99. Me-Time Meal - "Kiki's Pizza Delivery Service" 100. Nut Dog - "Lion 3: Straight to Video" 101. Noodles and Butter - "Onion Friend" 102. Oyster Crackers - "Joking Victim" and others

103. Popcorn - "Bubble Buddies" and many others 104. Cupcakes for Pearl - "So Many Birthdays" 105. Cool Kids Potluck - "The Good Lars" 106. The Pink Lars - "Letters to Lars" 107. Pink Diamond Shards - "A Single Pale Rose" 108. Pizza Bagel - "Restaurant Wars" 109. Pizza Steven Universe - "Say Uncle" 110. Burrito and Chip Burrito Pizza - "Bismuth" 111. Pile of Food - "Reformed" 112. Pepe's Burgers Meal - "Mr. Greg," "Mr. Universe"

113. Watery Macaroni - "Storm in the Room" 114. Mozzarella Sticks - "Restaurant Wars" 115. Eggs for Eyes - "Snow Day" 116. Pumpkin-Shaped Pumpkin Bread - "The Good Lars" 117. French Fry Pizza with a French-Fry Crust, with Fries on the Side - "Restaurant Wars" 118. Pine Needle Tea - "Gem Hunt" 119. Protein Shake - "Snow Day" 120. Deep-Fried Pizza with Pizza Bits - "Restaurant Wars" 121. Rebel Turkey Leg - "Open Book" 122. Protes - "Gem Hunt"

123. Soup When It Rains - "When It Rains" 124. Mama Sadie Lunch - "Lion 3: Striaght to Video" 125. Shield Veggies - "Gem Hunt" 126. Snow Cones (and snow cone juice) - "Guidance" 127. Formula - "Three Gems and a Baby" 128. Jam Sandwich - "Three Gems and a Baby" 129. Nicey Spicey Spicy Pretzels - "Lion 3: Straight to Video" 130. Sandwich Not for Cats - "Cat Fingers" 131. Secret Team Bits - "Secret Team" 132. Salad That's Mostly Cheese - "The Big Show"

133. "That Was a Cake???" - "Steven Floats" 134. The Finest Steak and Brie - "Mr. Greg" 135. Together Breakfast - "Together Breakfast" 136. Square Pizza - "Keystone Motel" 137. Sugar Shock Shut Down - "Last One Out of Beach City" (also included cans of Apple Sidra) 138. Strawberry - "Serious Steven" and "Buddy's Book" 139. Together Breakfast Wedding Cake - "Reunited" 140. Tea and Cookies with UG - "Say Uncle" 141. Suitcase Sam's Lunch - "Onion Trade" 142. Tea Sandwiches - "We Are the Crystal Gems" extended opening

143. Zucchini With Linguine - "Steven and the Stevens" 144. Rotten Tuna Burrito - "So Many Birthdays" 145. Baby Melon - "Watermelon Steven" 146. Mi Torta - "Monster Buddies" 147. Zoo Fruit - "The Zoo" 148. Waffle Egg Sandwiches - "Winter Forecast" 149. Tots and Tot Bits - "Letters to Lars" 150. Together Forever Cake & Picnic - "Together Forever" 151. Ube Roll - "The Good Lars" 152. Tea and Teabag - "Onion Friend," "Three Gems and a Baby" 153. Tomato Soup Juice Box - "Bluebird" 154. Wedding Cake - "Gem Harvest"

[psychosuna]

a/n: kinda fluffy and a bit boring these r just my self indulgent thoughts ,, feel free to send rqs

daichi: makes the same breakfast every morning. eggs and toast and some sort of protein. probably drinks black coffee, adds a little cream and sugar if he’s feeling fancy. a ketchup user and abuser. “breakfast is the most important meal of the day” blah blah just say you’re capable of waking up early and go.

asahi: idk why i just see asahi as a big baby thags like incapable of doing anything for himself honestly like his mom probs still makes him breakfast either that or he has a bowl of cereal.

sugawara: pop tart man. also goes feral over toaster strudels. the way he frosts them is an exact science. coffee but it’s light roast. uses creamer, duh.

noya: really likes ego waffles. toasts like 2-3 and gets really fuckin impatient so he just eats them as the next ones are toasting. probably drinks a glass of milk after like a freak. he’s always running late in the morning but will turn into a fuckin grouch if he doesn’t eat. it’s placebo. he just thinks he’s in a bad mood.

tanaka: i see this man as a scrambled eggs type of guy. it’s simple. the only thing he knows how to cook, actually. that, and mac n cheese (same). drank orange juice w bfast all through highschool and had a coffee awakening in college. doesn’t eat if he’s running late.

ennoshita: doesn’t eat breakfast, usually just has a cup of coffee and will eat a little something a couple hours later. he’s just not hungry in the morning.

hinata: probs has a whole ass family breakfast every morning in highschool. mum cooked eggs, bacon, rice (enter traditional japanese breakfast because i’m uneducated). when he went to college he tried to keep up with making a big breakfast every morning, and succeeds for the most part. not big on coffee.

kageyama: cereal boy. goes for somewhat sugary cereals, also the type to have a granola bar or something otw to school/classes. on game days , he makes a big breakfast. also not big on coffee.

tsukishima: tbh i headcanon him eating oatmeal and i really wish he didn’t. like, strawberry oatmeal or the strawberry K cereal is really just his favorite. coffee expert, really picky about the grounds he uses and the way he makes it. takes pride in his morning coffee. he can go without eating but he truly cannot go without coffee.

yamaguchi: pretty baby probably just eats a bowl of cereal or something. he doesn’t think too much about it but also tends to not skip breakfast. sometimes tsukki will bring him a coffee , but he doesn’t make it on his own.

kuroo: foggy area here. usually skips breakfast, always makes the coffee right when he wakes up but sometimes forgets to make a mug or a coffee to take with him to classes. sometimes he just randomly wakes up at the crack of dawn and makes a huge ass breakfast. he’s not used to eating a big breakfast, so when he does, it tears his stomach up.

kenma: he was up playing games and snacking all night. he’s full from the cosmic brownies and monster energy drinks he had at 4am before he ultimately crashed. and if he does have breakfast, it’s probably some sugary ass cereal. get some proper sleep, freak.

lev: probs has like a typical russian breakfast honestly, he grew up w it and still makes it to this day. a typical bfast for him is fried eggs with kolbasa and dill on top. family recipe type kid. this is only when he can be fucked to make it, though.

oikawa: motherfucker makes smoothies for breakfast. not even the protein shake types, like the fruity ass spinach ass types of smoothies that probably have more sugar than anything else in them. he’s thinks he’s eating “clean.” also stops by a starbucks or soemthing every morning bc he likes the complicated ass coffees rather than just making his own.

iwaizumi: i see him actually like, enjoying making breakfast. his go-to is a quick breakfast burrito. on weekends, hes a whore for chicken and waffles. probably uses a lot of hot sauce. definitely drinks black coffee he has big dick energy

matsukawa: skips breakfast entirely. literally cannot be fucked. if he eats in the morning, he goes to mcdonalds. mans never fucked with coffee, either. i’m telling you guys, he’s got a big dick, but this is one sketchy mfer.

hanamaki: really likes bagels. everything bagels with a shit ton of cream cheese. coffee with a tiny bit of cream and sugar. he’s classy. he’s perfect. i adore him.

bokuto: his mom always told him that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and why would he doubt her ? he makes the birds eye egg thinf with the hole in the bread and then puts in the pan and cracks the egg in the whole. you guys know what i’m talking about. another ketchup user and abuser but i’m less mad bc, cmon, it’s bokuto!

akaashi: this mfer. THIS MFER. i adore him truly. wait for it... greek yogurt. he gets the tubs of greek yogurt, sometimes the honey flavored kind, and will cut up fruit and put granola on top, and has espresso. he’s just. so sexy honestly.

tendou: always making something weird to be fucking honest. liek the motherfucker never skips breakfast, but he’ll straight up eat left over takeout from the night before at like 7:30am. what’s wrong with him. tries homemade pancakes every once in a while and they aren’t even that bad, he just puts WAY too much syrup on top.

semi: will have one cup of black coffee and that’s literally it.

ushijima: has the same thing every single morning. he never switches up. protein shake (black coffee in the shake), one fried egg, two pieces of bacon. it’s the perfect combo why would he ever even need to change it?

goshiki: tbh this mfer is always in a rush in the mornings but u know what. two pieces of toast and grape or strawberry jam. he’s a lil jam on toast cutie tell me i’m wrong. i’d die for him.

osamu: if he doesn’t have time to cook, he won’t eat. he doesn’t see the point in eating pre packaged shit. he wants to really get in the kitchen and make something. poor baby just wakes up late sometimes.

atsumu: if osamu doesn’t have time to cook, he won’t eat. fiend ass motherfucker. don’t get me wrong, i love him, but he’s so fucking annoying. will smell food and walk in the kitchen like “what’s for breakfast lil bro?” and osamu is all like “nothing for you dipshit” but he always gives in and feeds the mfer

suna: nothing. like. ever. he forgets. doesn’t have a big appetite and he can’t cook for shit unless it’s edibles so he just doesn’t bother. a coffee addict but refuses to tell anyone.

kita: a nice ol mug of fresh coffee, maybe some eggs, maybe some sausage, whatever he feels like! tries to eat every morning bc he knows it’s for the best. is a morning person so it’s not like he doesn’t have time!

terushima: a monster and a protien bar. likes the coffee flavored monsters in the morning , though. cheese toast on occasion.

sakusa: black coffee, two splendas, avocado toast. he’s got taste.

˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨︎ ✰ thank u for reading! | ೃ࿔₊•

[mysteriesofmilo]

MML Quotes Tournament, round 3

There were a few ties this round, until someone voted while I was looking at the results.

So, here are the results:

Balloon full of stinky water beat Loss can lead to new adventures 9-2 (81.8%)

Haven't heard you complaining beat Hamilton H. County 7-4 (63.6%)

In a Zack matchup, I had to take the bus beat Bird-a-surus 9-2 (81.8%)

Brakes are broke beat Disaster Magazine 7-4 (63.6%)

Unnecessarily disintegrated beat Exfused and concited 9-2 (81.8%)

World War V beat Harpoons and feeding frenzies 9-2 (81.8%)

In a Milo matchup, Squirrels and tuna beat Why seek danger? 7-4 (63.6%)

Ends with a sentient blob beat Doof’s first robot 6-5 (54.5%)

Anxious about shopping carts beat Pizza delivery guy trap 6-5 (54.5%)

Worst punishment beat I smell a Murphy 7-3 (70%)

More ridiculous than his life beat Make some noise 9-2 (81.8%)

Sign has sharp edges beat Plays by his own rules 6-5 (54.5%)

Absurdly fast koala beat Sure that would not work 8-3 (72.7%)

Mice could fly beat My soap is talking 7-4 (63.6%)

Confusing stuff cabbage tree beat Contemplating my tragic existence 7-4 (63.6%)

Vorpel wrap beat Win this cooking show 8-3 (72.7%)

"We can repair it" alarms beat Actually, don't sit back 6-5 (54.5%)

Right amount of whelmed beat Get out of the van 9-2 (81.8%)

I still maintain he's not beat Buffalo with marshmallow 10-1 (90.9%)

Not a wave of fire beat Bug on your face 7-4 (63.6%)

Hanging off the edge of a cliff beat Milo the Great 9-2 (81.8%)

Bungle this assignment beat Monkey on his shoulder 8-3 (72.7%)

Fake sleep magazines beat Get used to it 8-3 (72.7%)

In a Doof matchup, Not this time beat You are worthless 9-2 (81.8%)

Don't listen to me beat Vintage T-shirts 7-4 (63.6%)

Suit on an Undergrounder beat Time capsule 7-4 (63.6%)

BYO toilet paper beat So scared I'm not scared 10-1 (90.9%)

Great Caesar's ghost beat Photos of all the parks 10-1 (90.9%)

Throw this round thing beat Ride dirt bikes 9-2 (81.8%)

Loser shovels the winner's driveway beat If you survive today 6-5 (54.5%)

Run toward the danger beat Where is the exit 8-3 (72.7%)

Take our picture or eradicate us beat Revenge mode 7-4 (63.6%)

Toddler Talent Show beat Impulsive mistakes of his youth 6-5 (54.5%)

We're all gonna try beat Shield your head 7-4 (63.6%)

Blindly followed her instructions beat How many hamsters 9-2 (81.8%)

Judgmental man beat Ate a Congressman 9-2 (81.8%)

I'm hazardous shut out Just a prototype 11-0 (100%)

Head caught in a helicopter beat Picking up Milo 8-3 (72.7%)

Only on a TV show beat Royalty, part monkey or both 10-1 (90.9%)

Dining on other worlds beat 3/4 marmoset 7-4 (63.6%)

Desertland beat Hi plane 8-3 (72.7%)

Murray the Middleman beat Not worse than trash 9-2 (81.8%)

Inside out? beat Uneven playing field 7-4 (63.6%)

Found Milo's backpack beat Cohesive color scheme 10-1 (90.9%)

Those wooden stakes will kill him beat Don't appreciate your bones 8-3 (72.7%)

In a Sphere and Loathing in Outer Space matchup, You look delicious too beat Halfway across the galaxy 10-1 (90.9%)

Actual superintendent beat Garbled screams 6-4 (60%)

Eggs for breakfast beat That goes for anyone in this building 8-3 (72.7%)

Dr. Not Sorry beat Fries with cheese 7-4 (63.6%)

Stranded people beat Flaming pig 8-3 (72.7%)

At increasing velocity beat Your milk carton 6-5 (54.5%)

In a season premiere matchup, A single tent shaped tarp beat They took a bus 6-5 (54.5%)

Dumping toxic waste beat Middle School Safety Award 9-2 (81.8%)

Some are still standing beat Claustro-avoident 8-3 (72.7%)

Fowl beast beat Ice cream combination 9-2 (81.8%)

Disco dancers in Danville beat Snow Flyer 1.5 8-3 (72.7%)

Orange peeling time best Breakfast inside of a lunch 8-3 (72.7%)

Furlong per jiffy somehow beat Required to notify us 6-5 (54.5%)

A to B beat The really big ball 7-4 (63.6%)

In a "describing Murphy's Law" matchup, Stuff just explodes beat Unless someone accidentally 9-2 (81.8%)

In a high speed chase, On his sled of doom beat Commemorative plaque 8-3 (72.7%)

Cyborg grizzly: destroy man beat Country vs Western music 8-2 (80%)

Some say he doesn't exist beat What I sorta can see 8-3 (72.7%)

The end will return beat Sports fuel power 7-4 (63.6%)

Now, here are the next round matchups:

Balloon full of stinky water vs Haven't heard you complaining

I had to take the bus vs Brakes are broke

Unnecessarily disintegrated vs World War V

Squirrels and tuna vs Ends with a sentient blob

Anxious about shopping carts vs Worst punishment

More ridiculous than his life vs Sign has sharp edges

Absurdly fast koala vs Mice could fly

Confusing stuff cabbage tree vs Vorpel wrap

"We can repair it" alarms vs Right amount of whelmed

I still maintain he's not vs Not a wave of fire

Hanging off the edge of a cliff vs Bungle this assignment

Fake sleep magazines vs Not this time

Don't listen to me vs Suit on an Undergrounder

BYO toilet paper vs Great Caesar's ghost

Throw this round thing vs Loser shovels the winner's driveway

Run toward the danger vs Take our picture or eradicate us

Toddler Talent Show vs We're all gonna try

Blindly followed her instructions vs Judgmental man

I'm hazardous vs Head caught in a helicopter

Only on a TV show vs Dining on other worlds

Desertland vs Murray the Middleman

Inside out? vs Found Milo's backpack

This wooden stakes will kill him vs You look delicious too

Actual superintendent vs Eggs for breakfast

Dr. Not Sorry vs Stranded people

At increasing velocity vs A single tent shaped tarp

Dumping toxic waste vs Some are still standing

Fowl beast vs Disco dancers in Danville

Orange peeling time vs Furlong per jiffy

A to B vs Stuff just explodes

On his sled of doom vs Cyborg grizzly: destroy man

Some say he doesn't exist vs The end will return

That's it! Vote here: https://forms.gle/PzruoN5Jbecm11YUA

View the bracket here: https://challonge.com/fbifxfp2

View the full list of quotes here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZW4PSIUnBEw-J89UTNBYtUu1qiFtPkQW1Q1CcaetVho/edit?usp=sharing

And view the wiki here: https://milomurphyslaw.fandom.com/wiki/Milo_Murphy%27s_Law_Wiki

[star-spangledstud]

Better Than Me (1/2)

Part two here!

Description: Based off of Doja Cat’s song Better Than Me. Steve seems to see every woman except for you.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x (Female) Reader

Word count: 2000-ish. 

Warnings: Angst? Brief mentions of sex. 

Your heart thumped so fast you could feel it beating in your throat. There was a lump in the back of it that made it hard to swallow, accompanied by the feeling of a dry mouth that didn’t help your case. You bit your lip harshly in an attempt to keep the tears at bay, but they still pricked in the corners of your eyes, which flew to the ceiling and focused on nothing in particular. 

You were standing behind the door of your room, chest heaving and hands shaking. In fact, you didn’t even notice it, but your entire body was trembling. You were angry, so angry that it made you want to cry and at least three people had to have heard your door slam so loud it nearly came off its hinges. You knew nobody would dare to disturb you, not like this, not unless they had a death wish.

He’d brought a stranger to Tony’s party. Again. You almost expected it, but still, you’d gotten dolled up, dressed in the nicest dress Wanda was able to find for you on her shopping trip three weeks prior. Light blue satin with spaghetti straps that ended just above your knees. It was pretty, it was fucking amazing, so amazing it could only have cost her at least $1000, but she gave it to you as a present and had practically forced you to put it on. It wasn’t your style, way out of your comfort zone, but you’d hoped he would see it and change his mind about you.

A tear finally slipped down your cheeks, instantly ruining the eyeliner and mascara that had taken you nearly an hour to apply. The sheer pink sparkly lipgloss you’d used to plump your lips in an effort to make yourself irresistible had already faded from drinking too much champagne, yet you could taste the vanilla on your tongue when you once again bit into your bottom lip. Your highlighted cheekbones and nose still shone, but the light in your eyes had dimmed the second you saw them together, laughing and joking and worst of all, dancing. 

He’d always told you he hated dancing. That he was no good at it, that he had two left feet that were just waiting for him to make a fool of himself on the dancefloor. Yet still, she managed to pull him along while you sat by the bar, gripping the elongated glass of bubbly so hard it nearly shattered in your fist. From where you sat, it didn’t look like he hated dancing at all. In fact, it looked like he was having the time of his life. He never danced with you. 

As you plopped down on your bed, your mind immediately began to race. What did she have that you didn’t? What made her more special than you? What was it about her that he liked so much? You could name at least a thousand things that you could use to compare yourself to her, even though you didn’t even know her. Did he even know her?

Foundation, concealer, and bronzer stained your pillowcase as you cried into it, but you didn’t bother taking it off with a makeup wipe until the day after. You snorted when you realized you woke up still wearing that blue fucking dress, the dress that would make any man bend over backward for you. Any man except the one you wanted so badly.

You’d been friends with him ever since you first got recruited. He enjoyed the fact that you could show him the world, that you listened to him when he felt down and that you were always there when he needed you. You were enamored with him from the first hello, thought he felt the same way. Apparently, the only thing you were really good for was your extensive knowledge of 21st-century pop-culture and your listening ear. He should’ve expected you to fall for him with how nice and sweet and handsome and- Stop it.

He found out you liked him through Sam, who found out through Natasha. Of course, she was the first person to know. Nothing could slip by the seasoned assassin, not even your dying love for Steve fucking Rogers and naturally, Sam couldn’t keep his blabbering mouth shut. You loved the guy, but he had no filter sometimes. It could’ve been a good thing though because you’d been too afraid to tell Steve yourself. Could have, because things didn’t work out how you expected, not even after he kissed you one night on the roof of the compound. Why the fuck did he kiss you if he didn’t mean it?

 Steve told you he didn’t want to date a coworker, that it would never work with how busy the two of you were and instead of trying to convince him otherwise, you agreed with him. Of course, after he’d left the room, you cried so hard you thought your eyes would pop out of your sockets and you hadn’t been the same ever since. You’d lost confidence in yourself, lost trust in your abilities to be what a man would want in a woman. Lost trust in your own womanhood and femininity.

Before, all of you would hang out together in the common room at night, watching movies, chatting about your day and playing video games on the PlayStation console. You’d have breakfast and dinner together as a family, share your dreams and plans for the day with one another, wish each other luck on missions. You were always the light in the room, or so they said. You’d make pancakes or fried eggs with bacon for the whole team, beat Bucky in Call of Duty and you’d pick movies that made even Natasha cry tears of sadness. They loved having you around, every single one of them had a connection with you. 

But you just couldn’t bear to spend more than ten minutes in the same room as him anymore. The tension that only you seemed to feel hung heavy over your shoulders while he laughed trying to figure out Assassin’s Creed with Sam. You couldn’t stand it when he talked to you, tried to get you to laugh with him as if nothing ever happened. He thought you were okay with it, that you felt the same way about dating as he did. He had no idea it was eating you up from the inside because you refused to let him. You didn’t want anyone to think you were weak, even though that’s exactly how you felt. 

Wanda did notice how down you were, which is why she bought you the dress. It was her idea to get over him, make him fall for you so hard he couldn’t get around his feelings even if he tried. It was stupid, looking back because Steve didn’t just fall for women because of their appearance, but it was the only thing you still hadn’t tried. Had he even looked at you once? You couldn’t remember, because you were tired and drunk and too busy wallowing in self-pity, but you hadn’t once felt his eyes on you and it hurt like hell. 

Get over him was the idea, but your efforts had resulted in the opposite. The way he looked in that green velvet tuxedo, that black-tie tight around his neck and his hair perfectly coiffed, it had made you want to rip his clothes off then and there. You wanted to have the upper hand in the situation, but you were still at this man’s mercy.

“Get up,” Wanda said while pulling open your curtains with her powers, “Operation Spangles isn’t over yet.” 

“Get lost,” you muttered, dragging the covers over your face further, “it’s no use. I’ll never get over that perfect dipshit.”

She ripped the sheets away in a swift motion, long hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her head and her face free of make-up. Wanda cringed when she saw you, eyes red and bags under them. 

“Don’t say that,” she sat down on the edge of your bed, “You need to realize those girls aren’t any better than you and that he is in denial. It’s his loss, sweetheart, and he’s anything but perfect.” 

“Is he though?” You snorted, “He’s brought back like, five girls in three months. Clearly, he can get whoever he wants.” 

“Just because he can get them, doesn’t mean he wants them. Anyway, you can’t let this get you down. C’mon, get dressed.” 

So you allowed her to drag you out of bed. Allowed her to take you shopping, buy you new clothes with too much cleavage and ruffles made from silk and velvet. Dresses that almost showed your ass in colors you’d never pick if it weren’t for her. You chose heels instead of sneakers, a perfume that smelled like freshly picked flowers and more of that pink, sparkly lipgloss, all with the idea that dressing up was fun. You looked like you belonged on an Instagram profile with 500k followers, not out on the streets of dirty, dusty New York City. 

But you tried, put effort into your appearance as a distraction. You tried to become social again, tried to strike up friendships with people outside of the Avengers because you desperately craved normalcy. Eventually, you got good at picking out outfits and styling your hair. It became a new pastime, a new hobby to keep your mind away from the guy that was constantly near you, no matter how hard you tried to avoid him. 

You began to enjoy applying make-up in the early hours of the morning with a cup of coffee and some YouTube videos to keep you company. It became a part of your morning routine. Sam always complimented you on how you matched your eyeshadow to your lipstick. Bruce said he respected you for wearing heels all day - even though you still wore sneakers when your feet got too tired. Even Tony complimented you, saying he thought you looked happy and healthy. You weren’t exactly sure if happy was the right word, but to you, it was a start. The distraction was a start. 

Even Natasha told you how beautiful you were so often you eventually began to believe it. She took you to bars and taught to seduce men that didn’t mean shit to you just like she had to do during her years of training. She brought you to sweaty nightclubs with VIP tables and guest lists that contained celebrities where drinks were at least $35 apiece and where you couldn’t even talk over the sound of the music. You still thought of him, wondering what it would be like to dance with him instead of some greasy stranger rubbing his dick against your ass, but you didn’t allow yourself to ponder. He didn’t want to dance with you, so you didn’t want to dance with him, either. That ship had sailed. 

You brought them back to the compound sometimes. If the alcohol flowed too freely and the grinding had riled you up, you’d whisper in their ears and they’d follow you like lost puppies. Fuck, they would follow you to Europe if you asked them to because you were irresistible and fuck Steve for not seeing it before. Most times you’d order them an Uber and kick them out before the sun had a chance to rise over the skyline, but sometimes you’d allow them to stay for breakfast followed by round two. It didn’t mean anything, it was just a hobby. 

It took you months to get to that point. Months of spending money on clothes and bottles, months of taking people to lunch and getting treated in return. Months of socially distancing yourself from Steve Rogers, who eventually began to notice the shift in your personality. He missed your presence more than he realized in the beginning. You reminded him of Houdini with the way that you changed your look every day. You didn’t think he noticed when you used a new eyeshadow palette, but he did. You didn’t think he appreciated the way your body looked in bodycon dresses and tailored blazers, but he sure did.

Steve realized something, too. 

They were definitely not better than you. 

[heavydutycooking]

📖 + Fatty Jie

Send 📖+ an AU scenario to get a glance at what my muse would be like in that universe

“UUURRROOOOOOOORPPP!” Jie belched loudly at the dinner table, her wide butt sat atop two groaning chair that worked to support the ‘little’ girl’s weight. Finishing up her breakfast that had been prepared by her mother, the girl was just about ready to head off to school. The scent of freshly cooked bacon and fried eggs remained on her breath after that lengthy belch. Jie didn’t care much if her breath still smelled when she got up from her chair and stuffed herself into a tight-white blouse and a green skirt that hardly covered her big, fat bum. The girl never bothered to put on any undergarments, what would be the point of panties when her ass was too fat anyways? She could have worn a bra, but with her breasts still developing, there would be little reason to wear one that could wind up just busting off. “Thanks for the food mom, I’ll be expecting another meal like that when I get back.” Jie said with a grin, grunting as she waddled her way over to the doorway and squeezed outside. Compared to her own mother, Jie was quite the big lady! It made it easy for most to mistake the two for being the opposite ages, since one looked awful thin, while the other looked big, bulky, and her uniform didn’t seem meant for a schoolgirl.

Arriving at the bus stop, the girl went up the steps, listening as the bus rattled with every step she took. Her butt took up a whole seat meant for two, and her knees, along with belly were squeezed up against the seat in-front of her. The rest of the girls glanced at the other, watching as she browsed through the cell in her hand and noisily gobbled down various, small candies while the bus went on its way to school.

Every year, Jie seemed to grow, the rest of the students always knew when she was around thanks to her spurting size and developing weight. Out of them all she was the biggest and from what a doctor or two said, she wasn’t done growing quite just yet. So, because of this, it was really hard to talk down to her, or even tell her what to do when in class. She just watched her lessons while mindlessly nibbling on food, and the teachers couldn’t say anything unless they wanted to be standing face to face to her... or, face to chest in this matter, since they needed to crane their necks a bit to look at her rounded, chubby face.

A fatty Jie, was a Jie who had no qualms about throwing her weight around or even taking initiative when she wanted something. Like food from the rest of her classmates. She never tried much to bully, but almost casually she’d ask for the food and it would be given to her, or she’d take it before someone had taken the time to eat it. She thought more with her gut, than her brain and mainly just wanted to stuff her face and see how much bigger she could get. “Oh, miss, I’m sorry but could you uh-” more often than she’d like, she got mistaken for a fully grown adult. Making it easy for her to get more than what she normally needed, it even had the added benefit of letting her go places and get treated like a queen... an awful fat queen. “BUUUOOOOORRRPPP!”

Half the buffet lay emptied into the student’s big gut, and not a single person  questioned why or how she could eat so much. So when she left they just watched her waddle off, with her big derriere shaking every which way. Who would ever tell Jie no, or say that she should stop? Would you really want to get between a towering girl and her massive hunger pains?

None of the schoolgirls tried to bully her, or even offend her, they just handed over food they had and let her eat it so she would be on her way. Her mom always made sure to prepare as much as she could for her growing girl, Jie got what she wanted whenever she wanted and was always filled to the max. For her, this life was perfect, even being allowed to eat almost anyone’s food made it so very, very worth it~

[bichlordstories]

7: Daddy bento

“(L/n)-san, before you head off to lunch, I need to see you for a moment.” Sekijiro said.

He could briefly see a bit of a scowl you failed to hide before forcing your frown away. From the first week he got to know you from simply teaching the class, he learned that you were terrible at hiding your true feelings, though sometimes it seemed like you weren’t even trying.

He could tell you had a temper, he even seen you getting rough with the other students, especially that silver haired kid, Tetsutetsu. You weren’t directly going after them, in fact, you never really started things. And to make it worse, Tetsutetsu was coming back to you, losing a bit of his temper himself.

Unlike him, however, you were more of a ticking time bomb.

You didn’t go off out of nowhere, and your motives weren’t very predictable. You waited for the person to finish (usually) before striking. You always had a blank but annoyed expression when hurting the ones that mildly inconvenienced you on purpose. And today was worse.

“Yes?” You said in a rather rude tone, earning a raised eyebrow from the teacher.

“...sir.” You corrected.

“I wanted to address your behavior.” The man said simply before pointing to the chair next to his desk.

You rolled your eyes and reluctantly sat down.

“Before you start, Sekijiro-sensei, I just want to note that they started it first.” You said.

Seikijiro sighed and began rubbing his temples.

“Yes. That is true. But that shouldn’t warrant your behavior, (L/n)-san. You need to have better control of yourself, or your actions may lead to dire consequences in the future.” He said in a stern tone.

You looked to the ground, a deep frown evident on your face.

“(L/n)-san... you have a lot of potential. Your physical abilities are outstanding, you take things very seriously in every single test I have given you, and you’ve only been here for a few weeks. I want to help you become one of the greatest heroes of our time, but I need you to work with me here.” He said, this time in a softer tone.

“...ok.” You said.

He leaned back in his chair with a long exhale before continuing.

“If your behavior continues, I will have to have you do counseling, understood?”

“Yes sir.” You said and got up, ready to leave the classroom before the man stopped you.

“Oh, before you go, you’ll have to do some tutoring as well.”

This caught you off guard, to say the least. Before you could ask him what he meant, he spoke once more.

“Although you are passing, you are barely. Out of everyone here, you have the lowest grades, specifically in math. The other subjects have acceptable grades, but I know you can do better.” He said.

“Meet me after school in class, we’ll discuss more.”

And with that, he dismissed you, finally letting you leave the classroom. You opened the door, wanting nothing more than to eat after losing your egg sandwich that morning before walking head first into somebody’s chest.

At first, you thought it was a tall woman, seeing that your face was met with big tits, until you backed away to find two blonde hairs sticking up like rabbit ears.

“All Might.” You said.

The man flashed you a surprised look, smile crooked and nervous.

“Oh, hello there! I’m just passing by, wanted to talk to your teacher!”

You cocked an eyebrow at the blonde before moving to the side to leave.

“Yeah, he’s in there.” You said with a flat tone.

Once again, you left the blonde man to stand awkwardly in a hallway.

“Class 1A is getting a lot of attention lately.”

“Yeah? What’s so good about them anyway?”

“They must have done something so amazing that it got people’s attention.” Someone whispered in a sarcastic tone.

“Like surviving an attack?” You said out loud, drawing the attention of others, including class 1A, who were being blocked by the large group of students.

This whole day wasn’t going your way at all, first you lost your egg sandwich, and then you had to be forced into tutoring by your homeroom teacher. What especially didn’t improve your mood was the rumors of class 1A.

And now look where those rumors led people. In the middle of the hallway, blocking your path in front of class 1A. You had tutoring to go to, and they were not fucking helping.

“They were attacked by villains. They could have died, their teacher had injuries all over him. The fact that they made it out alive without wounds is a miracle.”

A familiar face turned toward you with a mild scowl.

“That doesn’t give them the right to treat the rest of us like garbage.” Shinsou said.

“When did they say anything? What did they do to insinuate that everyone else was trash.” You said.

A student next to you butted in nervously, rubbing his arm.

“W-well that blonde guy-“

“The blonde guy?” You interrupted.

The student looked at you startled, but you continued.

“What about that girl behind him? Did she say something?”

“Uh-“

“And four eyes? He doesn’t look like one to cuss a storm, hell, he looks like he would faint at the word ‘vagina’.”

The said blue haired teen flustered at the word and was about to scold you before Midoriya grabbed his arm, shaking his head.

“Did anyone else say anything.” You said to the crowd.

Everyone else looked toward each other, some looking down while others looked to Shinsou and the class with guilt.

“No? Just the blonde? I mean, wow, if the blonde is an asshole, that must mean everyone else in this goddamn school are stuck up pricks.” You spat their logic back into their faces, earning some grimaces.

“Let me remind you that they could have died. Their parents could have had the bodies of their children sent home to them. Siblings would have lost a brother or sister. A friend would have had to watch their friend be lowered in their grave. They’re still kids. We all are. So get your heads out of your own asses and move.” You said before shoving through the crowd of embarrassed and ashamed students.

After a whole day of missing breakfast and only getting a few bites of lunch, you were starving, cranky, and all around just not having a good day.

You met your homeroom teacher in class 1B. To say you were embarrassed was an understatement. Although you hid your embarrassment well, you still stood awkwardly in the door. You knew you were the only one getting tutoring out of everyone else.

Why did you have to be so dumb???

“You’re not dumb.”

Shit, you must have said that out loud! Sekijiro-sensei gestured to a seat and stood up from his to approach you.

“People have different ways of learning, and yours isn’t through reading a textbook.” He said.

“I am observant, and I’ve seen you reading textbooks when there’s nothing to do. I’ve seen you struggling to focus as well.”

You looked down at the desk you were sitting in, quietly trying to chip away the edge. Your face twisted into what he could tell was a saddened frown, much different from the usual scowls you gave people. It was obvious that it bothered you to no end that you got almost nothing out of reading. His own expression softened a bit once seeing you crack a bit before sitting down in the seat next to you.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ll admit that I struggled with reading when I was your age. Sometimes I still do have problems today.”

You slowly lifted your head and gave him a side glance. He clearly got your attention that time. Knowing that he was able to connect with you further, he began speaking more before something low and guttural resounded within the room.

You froze immediately and turned your head away from him, clearly embarrassed by your organ angrily rumbling at you for food.

The man paused at this before getting up and walking towards his desk. He grabbed a white container and placed it in front of you before sitting back in the desk next to you. You stared at the bento in front of you and then to your teacher.

“Sekijiro-sensei...?”

“Go ahead and eat, kid. You clearly need it after today.” He said before his eyes widened.

“Unless you’re allergic to certain foods...”

You muttered out a no and looked back down at the bento.

“Go ahead, I already ate lunch, that was for later tonight.” He said.

You still hesitated before opening it, being met with a delightful sight. Grilled fish, fried brown rice with vegetables inside, and other greens. You slowly grabbed the chop sticks and looked back to the man, who nodded at you to eat what was in front of you.

And you did just that. At first, you slowly picked at certain foods inside the bento before eating in a more comfortable pace. Sekijiro could see that you were still tense, afraid almost, but he waved it off in his mind.

“...you’re wife did a good job.” You said after finishing.

“I made that myself actually. I don’t have a wife.”

You looked over at the man with surprised look before covering it up and placing the chopsticks across the bento politely.

“Thank you, sir.”

The man flashed you a smile and said that it was no problem before getting up and grabbing a piece of paper, your failed math assignment, and began going over it with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vlad King is one of the most underrated daddy material in MHA. Seriously. He’s Endeavour if Endeavour was actually a great fucking father (but he ain’t sadly... still love the fire fart, but he excretes small dick energy).

Gotta love blood daddy.

[thesurprisinglyqueertoast]

ADHD Tips!

I have amassed these over the past few years through both personal experience and from others online. If you don't have ADHD, still feel free to share and use these if you need! Many of the issues we struggle with are experienced by people without ADHD, and ADHD is often comorbid with many mental illnesses. Feel free to add on to this post or take and share these wherever you like.

Catagories are: General, Meds, Teeth, Laundry, Shower/Getting Dressed, Food, Water, Sleep, and Homework

General Tips:

Use alarms for everything you struggle with doing on time. Everything.

Most things with ADHD wre much easier to find a workaround for than to force yourself into doing.

If you have trouble with procrastinating, there is usually something specific stopping you. If you can't figure it out or can't stop it, just do your best to procrastinate by doing other things you need to do.

If you're able to, find other people to rely on to either help you or just be there for you.

Meds:

Use a pill organizer, even if you only take one pill. Being able to look at today's day and see if you've taken it is much easier if they're split into days.

If you have a hard time remembering to take them set yourself an alarm for every single day and keep your meds where you are most likely to take them.

If your meds taste bad, give yourself a treat after like some juice or a candy. If you can't eat after them then drink a good amount of water.

If you have a hard time taking meds at a certain time of day, ask your doctor if it would be alright if they were taken at another time. Some of my meds are normally instructed to be taken in the morning as they often cause sleeplessness, but I take them at night because I know for certain I can take them every day at night. Some meds really need to be taken at a specific time of day and if you take one like that, try to incorporate taking it into some sort of routine.

Teeth:

If you have a hard time brushing your teeth daily try to figure out why. If it's the toothpaste, buy a different toothpaste (kid's ones will taste more fun). If it's the toothbrush buy one with softer or firmer bristles. Kid's toothpastes will often lack the fluoride that helps protect your teeth, so be wary of that.

If you take meds, keep a toothbrush near them to try to associate brushing them after or before taking the meds. Dry brushing them is always better than not brushing them at all. Some people find that brushing their teeth in the shower works best. If you have several toothbrushes around the house and just brush your teeth when you see one, it will be much better for your teeth than brushing them with toothpaste only sometimes.

If you can't floss with normal floss, there are floss holders that work pretty well, or even water flossers. It's best to do it daily but I guarantee that flossing every so often is much better than not at all. If your gums bleed, be more gentle and do your best to be more regular so they bleed less. If they still bleed with regular gentle flossing be sure to talk to your dentist to try to figure out what's wrong.

Mouthwash is a good addition to your routine. Find one that you can tolerate. It's recommended and best to use it after brushing and not to dilute it, but if you can only use it by deluting it, something is still better than nothing.

Laundry:

I use pillow cases for my dirty laundry. For me it's the exact size of one load of laundry, and having several smaller bags if dirty laundry means that you can keep them in several places instead of just one designated basket. If there is one in reach wherever you remove your clothes you are more likely to put it in the dirty laundry than leave it out.

If you're the one buying the laundry soap and doing your own laundry, be sure to pick one that you like the smell of. I personally buy scentless laundry soap because the strong smells hurt my head.

Using a bag or basket that is the size of your washer and dryer means there is less commitment than hauling several loads of laundry.

If the worst part of doing laundry is folding clothes, don't fold them the way you're used to. Turn it into a game or hang them or stack them all up and fit them in your drawers that way. If you're home most of the time or wrinkles just don't matter to you, leave them in the bag or just shove them in your drawers. It takes up more space than doing it neatly and putting them away but sometimes it's just not worth it.

Shower/Getting Dressed:

If you have trouble picking clothes in the morning, do that at night. You can change your mind in the morning if you really want.

If you have trouble getting up and getting dressed, just put your clothes on the night before. If you sweat a lot in your sleep this might not be the best plan.

If you have a hard time showering regularly, try to figure out why. If it's the smells, find unscented or better smelling soaps. If it's what you use to wash your skin with, use a different thing or just use your hands. If it's the getting dry part, use one towel and switch it out to a new one when it gets damp.

Turn on the fan if it gets too hot or stuffy, or even crack the door when you're done showering so it cools down even quicker.

If you have a hard time showering because you don't do well with seeing your body, shower in the dark. There are night lights that plug directly into outlets that can provide some light without making it bright, or you can use candles.

If you have a hard time with standing that long, invest in a shower chair or try to find one at a thrift store.

Food:

Snacks are fantastic to keep in your room if you can. If you have any sort of pest problem or have pets, keep them in a sealed container. Juice boxes and pouches are also fantastic to be able to grab while you're In The Zone without having to think about it.

It's good to keep easy foods on hand for when you're just exhuasted or can't think of what to make. In our pantry, I have ravioli, oatmeal, microwave rice sides, stovetop rice sides, ramen (some made on the stove and some cup ramen), cereal, canned chili and soup, canned tuna, mac and cheese, instant potatoes and pasta with bottled sauce. In the freezer, the foods we always have are pizza, pizza rolls, fries, broccoli, waffles, sliced strawberries, and burritos. Be sure to pick foods you like and can make in a pinch.

Eggs are quick and easy, and you can even crack one in a mug and add salt and pepper, mix it and microwave it for a very fast snack. Potatoes and rice are filling and take more time but are a great base to other foods like eggs or sauce or cheese. Both can be made in the microwave if you don't have an oven or stove, it's too hot to use them, or you're worried about burning yourself. Make sure to wash the potato skin well if you're keeping it on.

You don't need to stick to the normal breakfast foods for breakfast, lunch foods for lunch, and dinner foods for dinner. If you love breakfast foods, make those for dinner. If you hate breakfast foods, make dinner foods for breakfast.

Try to incorporate fruits and veggies into your daily foods, but don't feel bad if you can't. There's no shame in not liking or being unable to eat some foods, just do your best to give your body the nutrients it needs. If your fresh fruits and veggies always go bad before you can use them, just buy frozen ones. Frozen fruits and veggies are usually frozen at peak ripeness and will last way longer than fresh. Some frozen veggies even come in microwavable bags for quick and easy cooking.

If you're stuck when making food, just eat the ingredients by themselves. This could be fruits, veggies, cheese, meats (unless it needs to be cooked first), and bread. I find that if I have a snack in the kitchen before making myself food, that's often enough to trick my brain into food mode and let's me make a meal.

When you're making yourself food, be sure to make leftovers! Don't make a huge amount unless you're willing to eat it for most meals so it doesn't go bad, but making just double or triple the food and storing it in the fridge is a very easy way to make less work for future you with only slightly more work for current you.

If you have trouble actually remembering to eat, set alarms or reminders for yourself, or even see if a friend can remind you to eat whenever they're eating. If there are meds you need to take with food, keep them near food so you remember to eat with them. If you feed a pet, eat before or after feeding them.

If you live with someone else, see if making food for more than just yourself makes it easier. If I need food and ask my partner if they also want food, it's always easier for me to make food when they also are hungry and need food.

Water:

Use several water bottles so you don't have to keep getting up to refill them. If it helps, you can have a morning water bottle, an afternoon water bottle, and an evening water bottle and try to have the water gone by the time you go to switch to the next one.

If you struggle to drink enough because you don't like water, try tea or adding fruit to your water or another water flavoring. Liquids that aren't water do also contain water! Soda will often make you thirstier, so try to make sure you're drinking things that aren't just that though.

Sleep:

Ignore what neurotypicals will tell you about sleep. They will tell you to only use your bed for sleep, but if you go to bed sooner if you read or scroll on your phone in bed than if you do it out of bed, do it in bed. Many sleep hygiene tips are the opposite of what is best for those of us with ADHD.

If you can't sleep with silence, try listening to music or a podcast as background noise. If you have a hard time sleeping in bed, move your blankets and pillow to the floor or a comfy chair. When I lived alone I would vary between sleeping on the bed and the couch.

If you wake up hungry in the middle of the night, eat closer to when you sleep. Common sleep advice is to not eat before sleeping but it's what works best for me. Alternatively, keep snacks by the bed. If you're worried about needing to brush your teeth after, keep a toothbrush by the snacks.

Melatonin and other sleep aides are often at least slightly helpful for people, and if you take them make sure you're following the instructions for how to make them most effective.

If you have trouble keeping a bed time, use alarms.

If all else fails, and you're able to, find a job or school that you can work around your sleep schedule. When I was able to work, I worked a swing shift job and got up at noon.

Homework:

I have not been in school in two years so these are from memory or what I've picked up from others since

Make a space to do homework that is free from distractions that will distract you fully. Use the background noise that helps you work best. The key to distraction and ADHD is learning what distractions are helpful and what distractions will get you off track. Neurotypicals will tell you that your space needs to be quiet and bare of anything interesting. Ignore them. If you have a hyperfixation at the moment, it is vital that you do not let it anywhere near your homework space. It will win over your attention with no effort. Use headphones if you are working in a public space. If you do need silence, headphones with no music playing can help, or use a pair of earmuffs or earplugs.

Take breaks when you feel you need them. Your math will not get done if you are having a meltdown from stress. Time how long you've spent on homework and then spend a fifth of that time as a break if you have time. Alternatively work for a half hour and take a short five minute break, or spend an hour and take a ten minute break. If you have a hard time refocusing after a break, don't do anything interesting during the break but instead do some stretches, have a snack, and get more water.

Don't try to do homework hungry. Have a snack before starting if you need to, and be sure to have water readily available.

If you have a lot of homework or several different subjects, take 5-10 minutes at the begining to organize what you are going to do. If possible, work on the thing that has the soonest due date, the most important to your grade, or the subject you have the lowest grade in. If you have a lot, do your best to alternate hard material and quick easy material to give your brain a bit of a break. If it helps, don't be afraid to pause your hard stuff to work on easy stuff for a bit if you have time.

If you need help, try to find someone that will actually help you in the way you need. If that's not possible, there are often YouTube videos on the subject you need help in. If you choose to find a video, I have found that it is best to find one in incognito mode (or a designated school google account) so YouTube does not suggest you videos you are interested in. This also helps to keep your school stuff from your fun stuff.

Finishing something partway is often better than not turning it in at all. This is something that is even more true in the "real world" than they lead you to believe in school.