#unfortunate that i break down at the mall whenever an employee asks if i need help tho

[mascot3001]

daily observation #1:

there is something so liberating about being at the mall. literally no one cares who you are or what you're doing. i could be shirtless and people would be like "only at the mall."

[mrs-mystica]

Us Against The World [Demus/Dukeceit]

Pairing : Deceit and Remus

Alternative title : Fitting In | Deceit Edition

TW : Homophobia, mentions of porn, verbal abuse, cursing, angst

Author’s note : Deceit’s name in this OS is Damian. I will change it if we get a name reveal. In the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy this OS ! c:

Masterlink

Human AU

Third Person POV

Damian always had a hard time to fit in. Through his life, he accumulated labels that only made his life harder. He always considered his existence a curse, as if someone up there hated him and wanted to see him suffer. Everything about him was seen as abnormal and unnatural by the society. First of all, there was his face. When he was younger, there was a gas explosion in his house. He was unfortunately there, half of his face burnt in the process. Doctors were proud to say that it was a miracle that he survived. Sometimes he wished he didn’t. He was stared at anywhere he went, making him stay mostly at his house. He didn’t go out a lot, but why would he anyway? He didn’t have any friend. His entire school life had been characterized by rejection and bullying. He never learned to make friends. Neither did he learn to trust others. There was a guy once when he was a kid who tried to play with him. Damian enjoyed his company, it was nice to not be alone anymore, but it didn’t last long. Peer pressure was too strong, and scared to be the next victim, he was gone the following day. The hardest part was hearing him insulting him the following week, to be accepted by the others.

Damian learned his first lesson. Humans are sociable creature and could die without it. People would do anything to feel accepted by the greater group, even if it means crushing the others who don’t fit.

He ended up leaving school. However, he never stopped to learn. He would spend his days reading and searching new things on the internet. He couldn’t satisfy his thirst of knowledge. He discovered himself a passion for snake and other reptiles. They were such impression creature. Whenever he would try to bring up the things he learned about reptiles, his sister would call him out for being a nerd. He thought it wasn’t a bad label, but what hurt was the laughters of his family. They mocked him on everything he liked. They told him it was a stupid hyperfixation. And when he acted offended, they brushed him off by saying that it would go away anyway and that, looking back, he will also laugh at himself, thinking it was stupid.

Damian learned his second lesson. Everything and anything said will be submitted to others’ judgement. And it didn’t matter if it was welcomed or not.

He stayed at his family’s house until he was finally considered an adult. It was around that time that he found out about his sexuality. It’s not like he had the occasion of learning about it since he spent most of his journey inside his house, alone. He discovered it by surfing on the internet, finding more and more attractive men who would catch his eyes. And then, he wandered on some 18+ websites, confirming his sexual attractions. He never thought twice about it. He was really bad with social norms, since he never truly had a social life. Therefore, he didn’t know much about the heteronormativity of the society. So, when his mother told him it was time for him to have a girlfriend, he casually answered that he wasn’t interested in girls. He didn’t know that about the shitstorm that was coming his way. His mother screamed, insulted him, more than he ever was at school, and told him that no son of hers would be a fag. And nothing that Damian would say could change her mind, or even reach her ears.

Damian learned his third lesson. Humans hate to be proven wrong. Cognitive distortion can be such a powerful thing, making someone truly believe in their own lies and beliefs.

Damian moved out of the family house. It’s not like he had a choice anyway. He managed to find a job that didn’t require him to have a standard face. He was a mascot. It wasn’t so bad. His face was hidden and the pay was decent. He managed to live on his own. He still had a hard time to live his daily life, going to the grocerie being a nightmare with all the eyes staring at him. At one point, he considered doing his grocery in his costume.

One day, he had to buy new clothes. His old ones were ripped and he had avoided going to the mall long enough. He really had no choice but to get new ones. It took him all of his courage to get there. He was wearing a hoodie, his hood on his head, trying not to be noticed. He entered a clothing shop and started to look around. He was happy to see that the seller was already helping another customer, so she didn’t come his way.

As he was looking at a piece of clothing, he heard someone speaking behind him.

- Hello dear! Do you come here often?

Damian froze. Why on earth was someone speaking to him. At first, he thought the person was speaking to someone else. He put his hand on his burnt half and turned around a little to see the man behind him. There was no doubt. The stranger was looking directly at him. He had a wicked smile on his face and a mustache on top of it. His hair messy and his clothes were ripped here and there. He had a lot of piercings, two on one of his eyebrows, three on top of each ear and one of his tongue. The most unconventional ones were two piercings on both of his cheeks. He had a weird expression in his eyes. Damian answered with a shaky voice, clearly destabilized by the man in front of him.

- Um… Hello? Not really? I try to… avoid public place the best I can…

The stranger tilts his head a little on the side, seemingly confused.

- Well, why a beautiful specimen like you would to do such a thing?

Damian blinked for a second. Was he crazy or was the man in front of him… flirting with him? Was his hand really covering all his burnt? He thought it was, otherwise, why would this man find him attractive?

A mother and her daughter entered the store at this moment. The little girl stared at Damian and then pulled her mother’s sleeve to show her what she was pointing.

- Look! Look Mama! The man has a weird face! Is he a monster?

Damian cursed internally. No, his hand wasn’t big enough to cover his entire burnt. He pulled his hood deeper onto his head as the mother made her daughter exit the store, visibly uncomfortable. A realization hit Damian. Then, it meant the man saw his face… And he continued his flirting? He looked at the man that was still staring at him. Damian could feel anger rising in him.

- This is not funny. Go make fun of someone else.

The stranger laughed.

- Making fun of you? Why would I? I’m deeply serious, dude! You look great!

The man then took the opportunity at Damian’s confusion to take his arm and write his number down with a pen.

- Please, call me sometimes, I’d love to learn more about you~

He winked at his sentence and then left the store. Confused, Damian could only stare at him, walking away while swinging his hips. He looked back at his inked arm. What the hell had just happened?

***

It took Damian some time before he had the courage to call the mysterious stranger. But it was worth it. His name was Remus. He was the most eccentric person he had ever known. He didn’t care about any social norms. If he wanted to wear a skirt because he thought it looked cute on him, then he wore a skirt, and damn that he rocked in that skirt when they went to a coffee shop together for the first time. They learned a lot about each other that day. Damian didn’t feel like he had to hide anything from the other man. He never looked at him weirdly, he never commented on his scar and he didn’t laugh at his interest. He even winked and told him he would love to see his two pet snakes in his home. The conversation then turned a lot around Remus. His story was surprisingly similar to Damian’s, but the biggest difference between them was how Remus perceived his past. He didn’t miss his family one bit, even saying that he was glad that those toxic jerks were now out of his life. He told Damian how his household was a jail and how he could never truly express himself as a child. He was always compared to his twin brother, how he should be more like him and less like… himself.

- And now that they are fucking gone, I can finally do anything I want. Let’s say, if I wanted to jump on this table right now…

Remus then hopped on the table that was separating them, approaching dangerously his face to Damian’s face.

- …Then nothing would be stopping me.

He smirked as he noticed the blush on the other man’s face. Of course, all the eyes in the coffee shop were now on the weirdo on the table. But for once, it didn’t matter to Damian.

- Yeah, sure, but what if one of the employees asks you to get down?

Remus laughed even more.

- You really think they would do anything? Sure, it’s weird, but as long as I don’t break anything, they won’t do anything. People are too scared to act, they need a real reason to do so. Otherwise, they just watch.

Then, Remus moved forward and sat on the seat next to Damian. He then sat on the chair and put his shoes on the table, his hands behind his head. Damian couldn’t help but giggle at the sight.

- You sure are a unique individual.

Remus smirked as he turned his head to look at Deceit.

- Hey! If I’m gonna have a crowd watching, I better put up a good show, so they have a reason to watch!

The words really hit Damian. There was something wise in those words in which he could relate. Whatever he would do, people would always stare at him. If people were going to judge him no matter what he did, he shouldn’t care what he does and just be himself.

The two became quickly good friends. They would spend a lot of time together. Remus really helped Damian with his self-esteem issues. He pushed him to express himself more and to not be afraid to be who he truly was. He stopped being afraid to go out. He also started to wear bright colors, which he never did because he didn’t want to draw attention on him. He learned that he loved the color yellow and he loved how it looked on him. He started to wear fedoras, ignoring all the jokes he saw online about “fedora guys”. He felt better about himself. And it was all thanks to Remus.

One day, Damian was humming a song as he was picking up food in a grocery. He didn’t see the woman who was entering the same alley as he.

- Damian?

Damian jumped as he heard his name. He knew who that voice belonged to, but he had to look at her to make sure it was real. As he saw her face, his face lost all his colors. Her mother was there. He hadn’t seen her in a long time. And she had an even more disappointed look in his eyes than when he left her.

- What the hell are you wearing? Yellow, really?

Damian couldn’t move, nor could he spoke back. He was like a deer in front of a car at night, unable to look away from the light that was blinding him. The only person whose opinion mattered to him anymore was there. And she still wasn’t proud of him.

- You look even more like like a freak than the last time I saw you. Did your boyfriend tell you you looked good it this? He sure lied to you. If you even have one.

Anxiety was taking over his body. His mind was swirling with thoughts. He could feel his panic growing in his chest. It was too much.

- Hellooo? Earth to Damian? You became deaf or what?

Damian dropped the basket containing his grocery and then ran. He ran out of the store. He ran to his apartment that was far away. He didn’t care. He just wanted to run away from her. Tears were dropping out of his eyes as he ran. He felt ridiculous. His confidence was destroyed into crumbs. As he was running, he noticed the passers that were staring at him. They all thought like her, that he was ridiculous, that he looked ugly, that he looked like a monster. He wanted to run and hide. Hide away from everyone. He never wanted to see the light of day again. He was ashamed. Of what? Of his appearance. Of who he was as a person.  Of everything.

He finally reached his apartment after minutes of running. He quickly closed the door behind him, falling into the ground as he was finally feeling safe. He cried louder. He couldn’t see anymore, his tears making it impossible to see in front of him. He had a hard time to breath, partially because he had just ran like a mad man, outstanding his usual running performance, and partially because he was having a panic attack.

He felt something vibrating in his pocket. He couldn’t hear the ringtone, he was too far gone. The sensation was unbearable. He threw the phone in front of him. The impact made the phone answer Remus’ call. He tried to say hello, but he quickly heard Damian hyperventilating through the phone. He said he would be there in a minute. But Damian couldn’t hear him. He was too far gone in his panic attack. He didn’t care, nothing else mattered, all he could think about was his mother. How she looked at him. How she made him feel like a failure. How he hated himself.

Remus was true to his words and he arrived at Damian’s apartment quickly. He didn’t bother knocking on the door. He swung the door open to reveal a curled up Damian on the ground, screaming and crying.

***

After a lot of efforts, Remus managed to calm down Damian. He was still crying, but at least he had regained contact with the reality. He was now sitting down into Remus’ lap while he was stroking his back. Damian’s head was laid down on Remus’ chest and he looked at the empty space in front of him, now feeling numb after crying all the tears of his body. After some long minute in silence, all Damian could say was sorry.

- I’m… sorry… I’m not as… strong as you… I can’t… I can’t just not care…

Remus stopped stroking his back. He didn’t accept his apology.

- You shouldn’t be sorry, none of this is your fault.

He clenched his fists, visibly angry.

- Screw her. And screw everyone else while we’re at it. If they all are too stupid to see the beauty in you, then they don’t deserve it. This world is crooked. It can only see people through predetermined boxes.

Remus took a deep breath to calm himself down. He then took Deceit’s chin in his hand to make the man look into his eyes.

- But we’re more than that. We are ferocious beast, we can’t exist in their world because we don’t fit in their boxes. I see you for who you are. And the real you is beautiful. If no one else is able to see you like I do, then it will be us against the rest of the world. Together, we can be stronger than them.

Remus approached Damian’s face. The poor man was a blushing mess as he looked deeply into his eyes. Remus wiped a residual tear that was on Damian’s cheek with his sleeve and then whispered to him.

- What do you think? Let’s say fuck the society, you and I, together.

Damian couldn’t help but giggle a little at the other man’s words.

- That must be… the most anarchist confession I’ve ever heard… And it’s perfect like that.

He then smiled and kissed the man. Remus was more than happy to kiss back. They could feel a shiver going through their bodies, as if electricity was going through their veins. They kissed passionately for god know how long. They broke their embrace after a while to regain some air. They were both panting. They both laughed as they looked at each other. They felt so lightweight, it was like something heavy finally left them both. Damian then puts his hand on Remus cheek and smiled at him. He then looked at him with a determined look in his eyes.

- Okay. Let’s try this again. This time, together.

It was Remus’ turn to look at Damian with a tender smile as he put his hand on Damian’s burnt cheek.

2880 words